Professional Documents
Culture Documents
CATHERINE OF ARAGON The Queen who lasted the longest, and (in her opinion) was the strongest. As
far as s he is concerned, she was the only rightful Queen of England and stayed that way until the end of her
life. This fi ery Spanish Queen was fierce, firm, and took no BS from anyone - least of all her troublesome
husband. Pop ins piration: Beyonce, J-Lo, Shakira.
ANNE BOLEYN Depicted most often as a "deceitful temptress" by historians and storytellers alike, Henry's
seco nd wife has been the subject of the most speculation and mythologizing. Our Anne, however, playfully
defies th ese aspersions on her character. She is a bubbly, fun-loving gal who only wanted to snog a sexy guy
and then s uddenly the entire religiopolitical landscape of England is in turmoil and everyone's losing their
heads over it. P op inspiration: Lily Allen, Kate Nash, Katy Perry, Miley Cyrus, Avril Lavigne
JANE SEYMOUR The Queen who finally succeeded in producing an heir to the Tudor dynasty and,
conveniently
enough, she is also the one who Henry claimed was the only wife he 'truly loved'. But although Jane might at fi
rst seem a bit of a pushover - lovably earnest, always a beat behind the rest, and with a real zeal for bad jokes
- she's steadfast, loving, and deep down as fierce as any other Queen. Pop inspiration: Adele, Emeli Sande,
Sia.
ANNA OF CLEVES Exuberant, eccentric, and effortlessly cool, Anna of Cleves is the Queen who secretly
won hist ory. At age twenty-four she found herself cast aside by the ageing King and was forced to spend the
rest of her life living in an enormous palace, without a single man around to tell her how to spend her copious
dollar. She could not be happier she came out of her short-lived relationship with Henry so successfully. Pop
inspiration: Ri hanna, Nicki Minaj, Charli XCX
KATHERINE HOWARD The youngest Queen, and perhaps the one with the most tragic story. Babyfaced
but sha rp tongued, she knows how to get ahead. She's funny, charismatic, and enchanting. But beneath the
surface of her 'flirtatious' exterior lies a complex young woman. Pop inspiration: Ariana Grande, Britney
CATHERINE PARR Probably history's most overlooked, undersold Tudor Queen.But a life of hardship and
heart break shaped her into a truly remarkable person. A prolific author and protofeminist, she championed
female i ndependence and stood up to the king for what she believed in - no
matter the danger. She is smart, soulful, and warm - with a story that goes far beyond her status as simply 'the
survivor'. Pop inspiration: Alicia Keys, Emeli Sande, Jorja Smith
LADIES IN WAITING:
Maggie -Guitar
Bessie - Bass
Joan - Keyboard
Maria - Drums
Singing colors:
Catherine of Aragon
Anne Boleyn
Jane Seymour
Anna of Cleves
Katherine Howard
Catherine Parr
ALL
[ Song : Six ]
Divorced.
Beheaded
Died.
Divorced.
Beheaded.
Survived.
And tonight, (city name), we are…
Live!
Divorced.
Beheaded.
Died.
Divorced.
Beheaded.
Survived.
Divorced.
Beheaded.
Died.
Divorced.
Beheaded.
Survived.
Divorced.
Rude.
Divorced.
Ja.
Ja.
Beheaded.
Survived.
[ END SONG ]
ANNE OF CLEVES:(City name), how are you doing tonight?
ANNE BOLEYN: We said, how are you doing tonight?!
JANE SEYMOUR: We are…
Queens (sung) : Six.
KATHERINE HOWARD: We’ve got a whole lot in store for you tonight.
CATHERINE OF ARAGON: And with drums so sick they’ll give you gout, It’s Mar ia in the
drums!
Maria does a solo.
JANE SEYMOUR: Really, really old-school… But we’re not here to have fun!
CATHERINE PARR: We’ve been in the shadow of one man for too long.
ANNE BOLEYN: And we came here tonight to step back into the spotlight!
KATHERINE HOWARD: of us, and we know you’ve all got your favourite.
CATHERINE OF ARAGON: Everyone always wants to know who’s the most important wife.
ANNE OF CLEVES: And they’ve been arguing about it for centuries.
CATHERINE OF ARAGON: But we came here tonight to answer your questions once and for
all!
ANNE BOLEYN: And tell ya whatcha want, whatcha really really want...to kno w.
JANE SEYMOUR: That’s right, we’re gonna help you figure out which one of us is—
ANNE OF CLEVES: The queen of the castle.
KATHERINE HOWARD: The Thomas Cromwell amongst the royal ministers between 1 532
and 1540.
CATHERINE OF ARAGON: But how the purgatory are they going to choose their l eading
lady?
ANNE BOLEYN: Hold up! If this is going to be a fair competition, they’re go nna have to
judge us on the one thing we’ve all got in common.
JANE SEYMOUR: The one to take the crown should be the one who had the bigge st,
CATHERINE PARR: The firmest,
ANNE OF CLEVES: Load of B.S. to deal with from the man who put a ring on i t.
KATHERINE HOWARD: So, (city name), we’re going to hold a little contest for you.
ANNE BOLEYN: And the rules are simple:
CATHERINE PARR: The queen who was dealt the worst hand,
CATHERINE OF ARAGON: So, what do you think (city name), are you ready to ch oose your
leading lady?
KATHERINE HOWARD: We said, are you ready?!
CATHERINE OF ARAGON: So, since the day I arrived in England, let’s just say my faith had
been tested on more than one occasion. First things first, I w as shipped off from Spain on the night
of my sweet sixteen to marry some pr ince called Arthur and I’m like “okay”. But then Arthur died,
so naturally I’m imprisoned for seven years. Really helped with the grieving process, yo u know, but
I’m still like, “okay.” But thank God they rescued me just in t ime to marry Prince Henry… my dead
husband’s brother. Okay, so I’m thinking “bit weird”, but if you’d seen him back in the summer of
‘09. Let me tell y ou he was okay. So seven years later, we’re still trying for an heir. He’s trying
really hard and I’m like “okay”, and he starts coming come late. “I was just out with my ministers!”
But there’s lipstick on his ruff. And I’m like “okay”. Suddenly, he wants to annul our marriage, move
some side check into my palace and move me into a convent! Now, now, now, now, I just don’t think
I’d look that good in a wimple, so I’m like “No way.”
[SONG: NO WAY]
You must agree that, baby,
In all the time I’ve been by your side,
I’ve never lost control
No matter how many times I knew you lied.
Have my golden rule,
Got to keep my cool.
Yeah, baby.
Wedding ring.
Sh...
Woah, woah.
Shh,
N-n-n-n-n-n-no way.
N-n-n-n-n-n-no way.
No way.
No way.
There’s
N-n-n-n-n-n-no way.
No way.
No way.
There’s
N-n-n-n-n-n-no way.
There’s no way.
So you read a bible verse that I’m cursed ‘cause I was your brother’s
wife, You say it’s a pity ‘cause quoting leviticus
I’ll end up kiddy-less all my life.
Well, daddy, won’t you there
When I gave birth to Mary?
Sh...
Woah, woah.
Shh,
N-n-n-n-n-n-no way.
There’s
N-n-n-n-n-n-no way.
No way.
No way.
There’s
N-n-n-n-n-n-no way.
There’s no way.
Woo!
CATHERINE OF ARAGON: Hey, give it up for Maria on the drums!
N-n-n-n-n-n-no way.
N-n-n-n-n-n-no way.
N-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-no—
No way.
N-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-no—
No way.
No way.
No way.
There’s
N-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-no way.
There’s no way!
[END SONG]
CATHERINE OF ARAGON: So clearly, I had the most to deal with from the king. And I hit
that top C so you know, donde está my crown?
KATHERINE HOWARD: Hang on a sec. Who was that other one?
ANNE OF CLEVES: Yeah, the really important, controversial one that people a ctually care
about.
JANE SEYMOUR: Yeah. You know… The one you’ve been waiting for.
Queens: History,
CATHERINE OF ARAGON: The one with the plan, The plan to steal the man!
Queens: Anne!
1522,
Came straight to the UK.
All the British dudes, lame.
Epic fail.
Politics?
Not my thing.
But then I met the king.
And soon my daddy said,
“You should try and get ahead.”
He wanted me,
Obviously.
Kept messaging me, like, everyday.
Couldn’t be better,
Then he sent me a letter, and
Who am I kidding?
I was prêt à manger.
Ooh.
Sent a reply,
Ooh.
Queens: Ooh.
Uh oh!
Here we go.
What?
Get a life!
You’re living with his wife.
Don’t be bitter,
Ooh.
Ooh.
Uh oh!
Here we go.
Tried to elope,
But the pope said nope.
Our only hope was
Henry.
He got a promotion,
‘Caused a commotion,
Set in motion
The C of E.
The rules
Were so outdated,
Us two wanted to get x-rated.
Soon, excommunicated!
( “Bridal Chorus” by Wagner plays in a shortened, more rock version. It is interrupted by Anne )
ANNE BOLEYN: Hold up, let me tell you how it went down.
So judgemental.
Uh oh!
Here we go.
And now, he’s going ‘round like, “Off with her head!”
No...
Seems it.
ANNE BOLEYN: No, guys, seriously, he’s actually gonna chop my head off! I m ean, I guess
he must’ve really liked my head… 5, 6, 7, 8!
Sorry, not sorry ‘bout what I said.
I’m just trying to have some fun.
LOL,
Say ‘oh well’,
Or go to—
—Hell!
Sorry, not sorry ‘bout what I said.
[ END SONG ]
ANNE BOLEYN: So yeah. What a weekend.
ANNE BOLEYN:Yeah, it was so extra. Anyway, I’m obvs the winner, so I think I’ll do another
solo. My next song is one I wrote about the moment I found out Catherine of Aragon had
tragically died. It’s called “Wearing Yellow to a Funeral”. Please sing along if you know the
words. (sung)Catherine was a massive-
( The queens give a loud uproar )
CATHERINE OF ARAGON: Oh yeah, didn’t you give him the son he so desperately wanted?
ANNE BOLEYN: Yeah, like, I had a daughter and he literally chopped my head off.
JANE SEYMOUR: Yeah, I know. I was lucky in so many ways. Well, I had a beau tiful baby boy
and Henry got his heir to the throne, so of course I was goi ng to be the one he truly loved. But you
know, if Edward had turned out to be a little baby Edwina, well, I know that his love wouldn’t have
lasted.
ANNE BOLEYN: Wow, yeah, what a stressful situation. I’ve never had anything similar
happen.
CATHERINE OF ARAGON: Yeah, babe, do you have any idea?
JANE SEYMOUR: Okay okay, look, you’re right. You’re so right! You queens ki cked some
major Tudor ass! And that’s what everyone wants to hear about. Yo u know, like, girl power,
woo! What I mean to say is that, I wouldn’t do an y of that. Instead, I stood by him. It didn’t
matter how many stupid things he did. I was there, by his side. And that’s… not because I was
weak or sca red. It’s because… I loved him. So, Henry…
[ SONG : HEART OF STONE ]
You’ve got a good heart,
But I know it changes.
A restless tide, untameable.
You came my way, and I knew a storm could come too.
You’d lift me high or let me fall.
But I took your hand,
Promise I’d withstand any blaze you blew my way.
‘Cause something inside, it solidified.
And I knew I’d always stay.
You can build me up,
You can tear me down,
You can try but I’m unbreakable.
You can do your best,
But I’ll stand the test,
You’ll find that I’m unshakable.
When the fire’s burnt,
When the wind has blown,
When the water’s dried,
You’ll still find stone.
My heart of stone.
You say we’re perfect.
A perfect family.
You hold us close for the world to see.
And when I say you’re the only one I’ve ever loved,
I mean those words to you fully.
But I know, without my son your love could disappear.
And no, it isn’t fair,
But I don’t care.
‘Cause my love will still be here.
You can build me up,
You can tear me down,
You can try but I’m unbreakable.
You can do your best,
But I’ll stand the test,
You’ll find that I’m unshakable.
When the fire’s burnt,
When the wind has blown,
When the water’s dried,
You’ll still find stone.
My heart of stone.
Soon I’ll have to go.
I’ll never see him grow.
But I hope my son will know,
He’ll never be alone.
‘Cause like a river runs dry
And leaves it’s scars behind.
I’ll be by your side,
‘Cause my love is set in stone.
...Yeah!
[ END SONG ]
JANE SEYMOUR: Because what hurts more than a broken heart?
( The queens, besides Cleves, run off stage and the lights dim around Cleves. )
ANNE OF CLEVES: Now, seeing as Henry was running out of women to marry in E ngland,
he had to look a little further afield. He had to adjust his locati on settings, if you will. To find his
next queen, we’re heading to Germany. Where he enlisted the help of the legendary painter,
Hans…
(whispers) Holbein. Welcome to the house…
( When the lights light up, all of the queen now have two accessories, a ruff and sunglasses. They sing
in a German accent while they are wearing this )
Ooh ja!
Das ist gut, ooh ja!
Ja!
The Haus of Holbein.
From Spain,
To France,
And Germany.
So what,
The makeup contains lead poison?
For blonder hair, then you just add a magical ingredient From your bladder.
[ END SONG ]
CATHERINE OF ARAGON (with German accent ) : The time has come for you to se lect your bride, your
highness!
KATHERINE HOWARD (w/ German accent ): May we present Christina of Denmark?
( Parr goes up on stage to represent Christina. She’s in front the three boxes, her standing in the middl e one )
CATHERINE PARR: (w/ German accent ): Looking for mates, dates, and a Britis h monarch whom to
secure the line of succession, winky-face.
( Parr steps over to the right box, where the box lights up red and a sound effect of a thumbs down is p layed )
ANNE BOLEYN (w/ German accent): Nein? Well, never mind, she already made a match with the Duke of
Milan.
ANNE OF CLEVES (w/ German accent): Okay, next!
ANNE BOLEYN (w/ German accent): Your highness, may we present Amalia of Cle ves?
( This time, Howard steps up to represent Amalia of Cleves. It is the same setup )
KATHERINE HOWARD (w/ German accent): Just a German girl trying to live the English dream.
Hashtag no Catholics, hashtag big dowry.
( Howard steps over to the right box, where the box lights up red and a sound effect of a thumbs down is played
yet again )
CATHERINE PARR (w/ German accent): Nein?
( They all chatter in a frantic matter. Then, Anna of Cleves steps up with the same setup )
CATHERINE OF ARAGON (w/ German accent): Your highness, your highness, your highness! We are
honoured to present to you Anna of Cleves!
ANNE BOLEYN (w/ German accent): The most beautiful woman in all of the Holy Roman Empire!
CATHERINE PARR (w/ German accent): And let me assure you, Herr Holbein has certainly done her
justice.
( This time, the box to the left of Anna lights up green and a thumbs up sound effect is played )
KATHERINE HOWARD (w/ German accent): Ah, the good! And may I say you will d efinitely not be
disappointed?
JANE SEYMOUR (w/ German accent): Oh, no need to thank us, the pleasure has been ours—
ALL(sung): In the Haus of Holbein!
( The girls, besides Anna of Cleves begin to exist. Catherine Parr stays behind after the music is finish ed to say a line
)
CATHERINE PARR (sung) : The Haus of Holbein.
( Parr then exists as well. A sad piano melody plays in the background, with the only light on stage bei ng shined
down on Cleves )
ANNE OF CLEVES: Well, I guess you already know what happened next. How I ca me to England, hopeful,
summoned after the king saw my portrait. And how I, with my meager looks the way they are, didn’t live up to
his expectations. I mean, It’s the usual story, isn’t it? The savvy educated young princess d eemed repulsive by
the wheezing, wrinkled, ulcer-riddled man twenty-four ye ars her senior! Rejection, rejection from a king! How
can anyone overcome t he fate as devastating than being forced to move into a resplendent palace in Richmond
with more money that I could ever spend in a lifetime?! And not a single man around to tell me what to do with
it. I mean seriously, just… tragic.
( The lights light up to reveal the other queen behind her, in their normal attire and without a German a ccent )
Woof.
You,
‘Cause I,
Too,
( The other girls go and take Cleves’ fur jacket off, and Howard takes her microphone. There is a brief p ause before
Howard gives it back. Parr puts the jacket on the top step of the stage )
As you were.
Makin’ my way to the dance floor,
Some boys makin’ advances, I ignore them.
As my jam comes on the lute.
Lookin’ cute,
No criticism.
Lutheranism.
You,
‘Cause I,
Too,
Gold chains,
Fast lane,
My horses can trot up to twelve miles an hour.
Let me explain,
I’m a Wienerschnitzel, not an English flower.
No one tells my I need a rich man,
Doin’ my thing in my palace Richmond.
( Cleves’ calls someone from the audience to dance in their spot while the rest of the queens keep dan cing in the
background )
Get down.
Get down.
Get down.
Get down.
G-g-g-g-g-g-g-get down.
‘Cause I’m the queen of the castle.
[ END SONG ]
ANNE OF CLEVES: So yeah, it was really heartbreaking.
ANNE OF CLEVES: Oh yeah… I guess you’re right. I probably won’t win then. O h well, back to the palace!
JANE SEYMOUR: Well, there’s one horse out of the race.
JANE SEYMOUR: Let’s just take a moment to commemorate Anna on the loss of t he competition. And
speaking of losses, also, take a moment to commemorate my son on the loss of his mother.
( The “Heart of Stone” melody plays in the background )
JANE SEYMOUR: If that doesn’t capture the audience’s hearts, then I don’t k now what will.
( Catherine of Aragon snaps her finger and the time changes to “No Way.” )
CATHERINE OF ARAGON: Uh, how about the loss of the sacred bond given to you by God, the
compromise—
ANNE BOLEYN: How about the loss of my head?!
CATHERINE PARR: Okay, okay, you know what? I think it’s time for the next q ueen, Kate Howard.
ANNE BOLEYN: Sorry, who?
CATHERINE OF ARAGON: Yeah, speaking of funny, good luck trying to compete w ith us, honey.
KATHERINE HOWARD: Yeah… yeah, you’re right. I’m gonna need all the luck I c an get, your lives sounded
terrible and your songs… really helped to convey that. I mean, Catherine, almost moving into a nunnery and then
not? It almo st could’ve been really hard for you. And Anne! Anne, getting your head cho pped off? Surely, that
means you’ll win the competition— oh, wait, wait, ha ng on a sec. Divorced, beheaded, died, divorced, beheaded…
oh, wait, neverm ind. And Jane, dying of natural causes? When will justice be served?! And s urviving… Seriously,
seriously, Anna, all jokes aside, being rejected for y our looks legit sounds really rough. I wouldn’t know anything
about that. I mean look at me, I’m really fit. So yeah. I can’t even begin to think of ho w I’m going to compete with
you all. Oh wait, like this…
[ SONG: ALL YOU WANNA DO ]
I think we can all agree that I’m the ten amongst these threes.
And ever since I was a child, I’d make the boys go wild.
Playtime’s over.
Playtime’s over.
Playtime’s over.
Playtime’s over.
Playtime’s over.
Playtime’s
Over!
The only thing, the only thing,
The only thing you wanna do is…
[ END SONG ]
KATHERINE HOWARD: And then I was beheaded!
KATHERINE HOWARD: Yeah, I guess it did. So seeing as I had the worst time, and you know by the rules
of the competition, I am now the leading lady of the girl group!
( The girls argue )
JANE SEYMOUR: Yeah, you had it bad, but that was not the most heart wrenchi ng song we’ve heard this
evening.
KATHERINE HOWARD: Um, excuse me, were you not listening to my song? There w ere four choruses,
that’s how many men I had to deal with.
ANNE BOLEYN: Wow, yeah, being manipulated by men and paying the price, none of us could possibly
imagine what that— oh wait, yeah, I did experience tha t.
CATHERINE OF ARAGON: Yeah, for like that last five minutes of your marriag e, Anne! Men had
manipulated me from day one. I was literally shipped over from a foreign country, not knowing a single word of
English, to marry some random dude.
ANNE OF CLEVES: Oh my God, same!
CATHERINE OF ARAGON: Oh, okay. Fine, fine. But then, when Henry decided he had had enough of me,
he didn’t even have the decency to say goodbye!
ANNE BOLEYN: Same!
KATHERINE HOWARD: Ooh, “I’m Catherine Parr, I draw lines in arbitrary place s.” Blah-blah!
CATHERINE OF ARAGON: She just knows she’s not gonna win.
JANE SEYMOUR: I’m sure she doesn’t even have a story to tell.
CATHERINE PARR: Yeah… you know what? I will tell you a story.
( The other queens take a seat and Joan plays the melody of “I Don’t Need Your Love.” )
CATHERINE PARR: So, Henry and I actually have something in common. I’ve als o had my fair share of
marriages. Though, unlike Henry, I managed to get th rough three without decapitating anyone. I know, gold
star for Cathy Parr. But they had this really annoying habit of passing away and so I was dealin g with, you
know, incapacitating grief. I also had to keep finding new husb ands to avoid being ostracised. Tudor
womanhood, all I’ve ever known. And t hen one day, I finally meet this guy, Thomas. He seemed like he might
stick around for a while. And you guessed it, he turned out to be the love of my life. We had this plan to get
married, actually. But that’s when Henry turn ed up, single and ready to make an unsuspecting woman his wife.
Just my luc k. So that was that. I had to write a letter to Thomas, ending things. Dear Tom...
[ SONG: I DON’T NEED YOUR LOVE ]
CATHERINE PARR: But I can’t say that. Not to the king. So this is goodbye.
All my love, Catherine.
[ END SONG ]
ANNE BOLEYN: Wait, I don’t get it.
CATHERINE PARR: Okay, look. Why does anyone know who we are?
CATHERINE PARR: No. Okay, let me put it in a different way. Who was Henry V II’s wife?
( They all look around at each other for an answer )
( The queens chatter amongst themselves, but no one knows the answer )
JANE SEYMOUR: And so each of our solos end up as backing vocals on Henry’s greatest hits.
KATHERINE HOWARD: Yeah… but isn’t there a bigger problem here?
KATHERINE HOWARD: ...Nope. I’m talking about us ‘cause when we get together as a group it just—
ANNE BOLEYN: Everyone notices Jane can’t dance!
KATHERINE HOWARD: This is what I’m talking about! We compare ourselves, and when we’re the six
wives of Henry VIII, we each become just that.
CATHERINE OF ARAGON: One of his wives.
Queens(sung): Six.
ANNE BOLEYN: Oh, I get it. Since the only thing we have in common is our hu sband, grouping us is an
inherently comparative act and as such unnecessari ly elevates a historical approach ingrained in patriarchal
structures… Yea h... I read.
CATHERINE PARR: So basically, we’re stuck.
JANE SEYMOUR: If only there was some way we could remove his love from our stories.
CATHERINE OF ARAGON: Yeah! Imagine if we had the freedom to say what we alw ays wanted to say to
him without him being there to answer back.
( The rest of the girls all agree )
ANNE OF CLEVES: If only there was some way that we could, like, all be toge ther in the same place at the same
time with, like, I don’t know, four-hund red people to finally listen to us speak for ourselves or maybe even sing?
( The queens all look to the audience and smile at them cheekily )
Queens(sung): Remix!
ANNE OF CLEVES: Lol, just kidding, my life’s amazing. But in defence of me, I was humiliated on an
international scale.
ANNE BOLEYN: Oh yeah, I can’t imagine what that must have felt like! Who el se could possibly relate?!
CATHERINE HOWARD: Oh pipe down, Anne! You wanna talk about humiliation? Wel l when I was queen,
Henry had not one, not two, but three historically conf irmed mistresses.
ANNE BOLEYN: Oh yeah, well I had not one, not two, but three miscarriages!
CATHERINE HOWARD: Oh, well you know what, Anne Bo-loser? I had five miscarr iages!
( The queens all argue. Cleves gets in the middle of Boleyn’s and Aragon’s conflict while Seymour pull s Howard’s
hair. Parr steps up on the stage with the band members and cuts the electricity cables to g et the girls’ attention )
CATHERINE PARR: Stop!
CATHERINE OF ARAGON: Yeah. You know what, queens? She’s absolutely right.
KATHERINE HOWARD: Yeah yeah yeah… It’s time to decide who won!
( The other queens attempt to go back to arguing. Catherine Parr runs back down the steps of the stag e )
CATHERINE PARR: No, no, no, stop, stop! I really don’t think it’s a good id ea.
ANNE BOLEYN: Literally, what are you on about, mate?
CATHERINE PARR: Like… “Let’s see what has the biggest cheer, being murdered by your husband or
experiencing the trauma of losing a baby.” Are we really gonna do this?
JANE SEYMOUR: Um, I’m pretty sure we’ve been doing that for the last hour, so.
CATHERINE PARR: But… miscarriages. Come on, surely, that’s one step too fa r.
So we had no choice.
No, baby.
I don’t need your love.
Never need your love… yeah!
[ END SONG ]
CATHERINE PARR: (City name)! And you know what? We might just be remembered for being married to
the same man,
CATHERINE OF ARAGON: But why does anyone give a sh… who he is?
KATHERINE HOWARD: So, (city name), have you had a good time this evening?!
CATHERINE OF ARAGON: (City name), seeing as you have been such a great audi ence,
ANNE OF CLEVES: We’ve decided to give you our own—
ANNE OF CLEVES: —Of what actually went down all those years ago.
[ SONG: SIX ]
We’re one of a kind,
No category.
Lost in history.
We’re free
Haus of Holbein
In my hometown.
His mates were super arty
But I showed them how to party.
Now on my tour of Prussia,
Everybody “Gets Down.”
ANNE OF CLEVES: Get your phones out, you’re gonna wanna film this!
[ SONG: MEGASIX ]
N-n-n-n-n-no way!
N-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-not sorry!
Sorry, not sorry ‘bout what I said.
I’m just trying to have some fun.
N-n-no way!
You can...
LOL!
You can...
Do your best.
But I’ll stand the test.
You’ll find that I’ve…
Sto-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-one
Divorced’
Beheaded!
Died!
Divorced!
Beheaded!
Survived!
We’re…
SIX!
[ END SONG ]
THE END