Reading to write

Unit Description
The Reading to Write Module aims to develop your writing skills through your reading;
therefore, it is essential that you read a variety of rich and rewarding texts to gain
stimulating ideas and inspiration for composing a variety of texts
This module encourages you to be like writers, constantly looking for inspiration from texts
you read.
Ultimately the aim of the unit is to move yourself away from being someone who reads and
writes unthinkingly to being someone who reads to write.

Course Structure and Requirements

English Standard Indicative hours
Year 11 course Common Module – reading to write: Transition to senior 40
(120 hours) English
Module A: Contemporary Possibilities 40
Module B: Close study of literature 40
Students are required to study ONE complex multimodal or digital text in Module A.
(This may include the study of film.)
Students are required to study ONE substantial literary print text in Module B, for
example prose fiction, drama, or a poetry text, which may constitute a selection of
poems from the work of one poet.
Text Requirements
Students must explore a range of types of texts drawn from prose fiction, drama,
poetry, nonfiction, film, media, and digital texts.
The Year 11 course requires students to support the study of texts with their own wide
reading.

For the Year 11 English Standard course students are required to:
• complete 120 indicative hours
• complete the common module as the first unit of work.
• complete Modules A and B.

Foundation of Year 12
• The Reading to Write Module is the foundation for the year 12 Module C course.
• Module C requires you to experience a variety of texts and draft responses through
experimenting with different ideas, style, and textual forms.
• Consideration of the purpose of each text and its intended audience is also crucial to the
craft of writing
 mode = the various
Year 11 Standard English
processes of close reading =
communication:
Common Module: Reading to Write Rubric analyzing a text
(listening, speaking, closely for a variety
reading, writing, In this module, students undertake the intensive and close reading of quality texts of themes and
viewing, and techniques
representing) from a variety of modes and media. In doing so, they further develop the skills and
knowledge necessary to appreciate, understand, analyses and evaluate how and perceptive= being very
media (plural for good at noticing and
medium) = the
why texts convey complex ideas, relationships, endeavors, and scenarios. Central to
understanding things
channels through this module is developing student capacity to respond perceptively to texts through that many people do
which
communication is their own considered and thoughtful writing and judicious reflection on their skills not notice
conveyed, for and knowledge as writers. Students read texts that are engaging thematically, judicious= using good
example: articles, judgement in making
films, poetry, aesthetically, stylistically and/or conceptually to inspire or provoke them to decisions
novels, drama,
photographs, critique skillfully, or to respond imaginatively. Through the study of texts, students
paintings.
develop insights into the world around them, deepen their understanding of
themselves and the lives of others, and enhance their enjoyment of reading.
aesthetic= relating to
a sense of beauty or
appreciation of The careful selection of critical and creative texts that address the needs and
artistic expression
interests of students provides opportunities for them to increase the command of
their own written expression, and empower them with the confidence, skills and
agility to employ language precisely, appropriately and creatively for a variety of
purposes.

Wide reading and reflection provides students with the opportunity to make deeper reflection= the
thought process by
connections and identify distinctions between texts to enhance their understanding which students
of how knowledge of language patterns, structures and features can be applied to develop an
unfamiliar texts. Through imaginative re-creation students deepen their understanding and
Imaginative re-creation=
appreciation of their
an adaptation or
own learning
reinterpretation of an engagement with texts and investigate the role of written language in different
original text. For modes, and how elements, for example tone, voice and image, contribute to the
example: dramatizing
part of a novel, way that meaning is made. By exploring texts that are connected by form, point of
producing a podcast view, genre or theme, students examine how purpose, audience and context shape
inspired by your text,
writing a review of your meaning and influence responses.
text, making a film
inspired by your text etc.
Through responding and composing for a range of purposes and audiences’ students
syntax= sentence
further develop skills in comprehension, analysis, interpretation, and evaluation. structure
They investigate how various language forms and features, for example structure,
tone, imagery, and syntax are used for particular effect. They analyses and assess
texts using appropriate terminology, register and modality. By reading and writing
repertoire= list or
complex texts they broaden the repertoire of their vocabulary and extend control supply
of spelling, punctuation, and grammar to gain further understanding of how their
own distinctive voice may be expressed for specific purposes.
Rubric Statement 1
“Students undertake the intensive and close reading of quality texts from a variety of modes and media“.
When we talk of close reading ,we mean that students analyse their texts closely for a variety of themes and
techniques . Ideally you should read a text 3 times during your study.
You will study texts drawn from a variety of media including poetry , novels, articles, and drama and demonstrate an
understanding of how texts shape meaning.

Rubric Statement 2
“Students further develop the skills and knowledge necessary to appreciate, understand, analyse and evaluate
how and why texts convey complex ideas, relationships, endeavours and scenarios“.

On the one hand you will learn how to appreciate literature and art, on the other hand, you will read texts to
understand how composers represent the world around you and why they choose the forms they do.
You need to ask yourself questions like:
• Why is the composer representing this idea?
• How has the composer represented this idea?
• What techniques and structural choices have they used to do this?

Rubric Statement 3
“Central to this module is developing student capacity to respond perceptively to texts through their own
considered and thoughtful writing and judicious reflection on their skills and knowledge as writers.“

This module wants you to become better writers. You will need to respond to texts and revise and edit your work.
The editing process is not just about correcting spelling and grammar, it involves restructuring pieces of work , or
even re-writing them.
There is also a focus on reflection. The purpose of the reflection is to explain, evaluate and justify:
• The language devices or stylistic choices you have made as a writer.
• The influence other texts have had on the choices you made in your writing.

Rubric Statement 4
“Through the study of texts, students develop insights into the world around them, deepen their understanding
of themselves and the lives of others, and enhance their enjoyment of reading“.
.“
You will read texts to understand how they reflect the complex and universal ideas/concerns in the world around
you. Reading about the experiences of others will allow you to reflect upon your own experience.
As you read ask yourself
Does this text represent themes common to human experience?
Does this text represent my experience?
What is my response to the representation of this human experience?
READING SHOULD BE A PLEASURE NOT A CHORE !
Rubric Statement 5
“Through imaginative re-creation students deepen their engagement with texts and investigate the role of
written language in different modes, and how elements, for example tone, voice and image, contribute to the
way that meaning is made“.
.“
What is imaginative re-creation? An adaptation or reinterpretation of a text through different forms . This will allow
you to engage with your text on a deeper level and help you understand how the structure of a text is integral to
its meaning.
For example:
• Retelling a novel as a poem
• Writing a diary entry from a character’s perspective
• Producing a podcast inspired by your text.
• Writing a review of your text
• Creating a visual image to represent an idea from a text (poster, collage)
• Dramatizing part of a novel
• Writing a newspaper article

Rubric Statement 6
“Through responding and composing for a range of purposes and audiences’ students further develop skills in
comprehension, analysis, interpretation and evaluation“.

You ne ed to develop strong skills in comprehension and analysis of content and how writers present content. You
should analyse how composers structure the syntax of their sentences, what perspectives and tenses they use and
how they present their voice.
Successful composers write clearly and concisely, you want to understand how they do this and imitate it.

Rubric Statement 7
“By reading and writing complex texts they broaden the repertoire of their vocabulary and extend control of
spelling, punctuation and grammar to gain further understanding of how their own distinctive voice may be
expressed for specific purposes“.

Clarity in writing requires the careful and appropriate use of spelling, punctuation, and grammar. Examining how
others do it will give you examples of how to create your own distinctive and effective voice.
 Rich imaginative texts in the form of short stories may have value and significance in terms of
o The themes they explore.
o How they use language techniques to communicate a powerful message

Your purpose for writing an imaginative text in the HSC is to use limited time to showcase your ability to use
language in a sophisticated and effective manner, rather than tell a plot –driven story.
You need to be more concerned with your written expression than with developing complex plot.
The audience for your story will be the examiners- English teachers.

Tips for writing imaginatively in HSC:

• Start at the complication (in medias res) so the
audience is immediately engaged.
• Reveal the back story using flashbacks to fill in as
many details as needed about setting and
characters.
• Make sure there is something to trigger the
flashback (object, sound, smell etc.), otherwise
your writing will be disjointed.
• Choose a small-time frame -an hour, a walk, a train
trip, ten minutes and no more than a day.
• Use dialogue sparingly.
• Avoid having too many characters.
• Simple plot- cover a single event in detail rather
than skimming over several events.
• Avoid sensationalism- avoid extreme or distressing
topics such as murder or rape, avoid anything that
has shock value
• Avoid cliched ideas/plots (car crash,
cancer/illnesses, death, heart attacks or anything
that stretches the credibility). Original ideas score
more marks.
• Try to incorporate symbols or motifs- think of objects or
images than act as a metaphor for your main ideas.
Example- a large albatross, which occasionally soars over
the background of a story could come to symbolise
freedom and exploration.
• Write in genres you know well (crime, science fiction,
romance, dystopian etc.)
• Narrate the story from a credible & realistic perspective
(e.g., avoid talking animals)
• Get inside the head of the main character, it could be
either first person or third person, but focus hugely on
their perceptions, feelings and thoughts, create a clear
and interesting narrative voice.
• Show Don’t Tell - The best writers don’t give every
detail; they trust that their readers can read between
the lines.
• Employ varied sentence lengths. Short, simple sentences
can be very powerful. Sentence variation is extremely
important in engaging the reader through flow.
• Avoid lapses in control (For example: do not switch
tenses unless you are flashing back and forward- you can
switch between tenses with purpose- inconsistency in
tenses can confuse the reader)
• Avoid cliched expressions (eyes as blue as the ocean,
trees dancing in the wind)

Interpreting the stimulus

• Do NOT use the stimulus literally, engage with it in a metaphorical or conceptual way.
• If your stimulus is a visual, you only need to draw upon One aspect in the image.
• If your stimulus is an extract, engage with key words and phrases.
• It is NOT enough to just briefly refer to the stimulus in the beginning or the end of your piece- you need to
embed the stimulus in a meaningful way throughout.
• Your connection to the stimulus needs to immediately be obvious.
• Your reflection should make the connection to the stimulus clear.
 Mini Imaginative Writing Task 1
Experimenting with Flashback

Analepsis, or a flashback, is a jump back in story time. It is often used to explain a character’s psychological
motivation by relating an event in the character’s past that explains in some way their present actions or feelings. It
is also useful for giving your story a greater sense of depth and time.
Example
As James got on the bike, Huey laughed. ’Come on, mate, you look scared!’ James didn’t answer. Two years earlier he
had got off a bike in an off-road race. Gunning it around a muddy embankment he had felt great, like a rocket, and
then suddenly the front axle shuddered as he hit a hidden root in the road, and he had come off over the front,
landing on his back. The doctors had wondered aloud if he would ever walk again. Six months later, here he was again,
the miracle man, on a motorbike again. ’No,’ he said, ’I’m not scared.’ But he couldn’t get the image of that day out of
his head, and his legs began to shake.

Exercises Question
1. What emotion is James feeling on the bike?
Nervousness, scared, sad, frustrated.

2. What in his past explains this feeling?

A bike accident that had happened to the protagonist is what these feeling are stemming from.

3.What words or phrase are used to alert the reader to the story has moved back in time?
2 years earlier

4. What words or phrases are used to alert the reader to the story has returned to the present?
6 months later

5. Your task: Write a flashback using one of the following story descriptions as a start. The whole story should have a
flashback that explains why the character feels the way they do in the present: Complete this in your exercise book
and share your response with the class.

• A student reacts angrily to a teacher’s criticism.

• A girl gets happy when she sees a red balloon.
• A mother gets sad when she sees a small doll.
• A father gets embarrassed when he smells a gas leak.
• or choose one of your own.

As Sarah sifted through the dusty attic, her hands landed on an old, weathered box tucked away in a corner. The box
held memories long forgotten, and as she lifted the lid, a rush of nostalgia enveloped her. Among the yellowing
photographs and faded letters, she found a small, well-worn doll wrapped in a delicate piece of fabric. Gently cradling
the tiny figure in her hands, Sarah’s mind drifted back to a time when laughter echoed through the rooms of a quaint
family home. It was a time when her daughter, Emily, was just a little girl with an insatiable curiosity and a heart full
of innocence.
The doll, once vibrant in colour, now bore the marks of countless playtimes and imaginary adventures. Its once silky
hair was now matted, and its faded dress hinted at the countless tea parties it had attended. Sarah’s fingers traced
the worn features of the doll’s face, and with each touch, memories flooded back. Emily, with her cherubic face and
sparkling eyes, would spend hours playing with the small doll. Sarah remembered the joyous giggles that would
resonate through the house as Emily created elaborate tales of friendship and shared secrets with her inanimate
companion. The doll, a steadfast confidante in the world of make-believe, witnessed the innocence of childhood that
faded all too quickly.

Yet, as Sarah continued to hold the doll, a shadow crossed her face. The once lively eyes now brimmed with sadness.
She recalled a day when Emily, no longer a little girl, had outgrown the need for her tiny friend. The doll was cast
aside, left to collect dust in the attic, a silent witness to the passage of time. Tears welled up in Sarah’s eyes as the
bittersweet nostalgia washed over her. She missed those days of boundless joy and the simplicity of a child’s world.
The small doll, a symbol of a bygone era, served as a poignant reminder of the fleeting nature of childhood and the
inevitable distance that time creates between a mother and her once-little girl.
With a wistful smile, Sarah carefully placed the doll back into its box, vowing to cherish the memories it held. As she
closed the lid, the attic seemed to echo with the faint whispers of laughter and the pitter-patter of small feet, a
haunting melody of a time long gone.

Mini Imaginative Writing Task 2

Experimenting with Voice

In literature, voice refers to how the speaker or character expresses them

• emotions
• personality
• attitude

Voice is created through:

• Tone: (the way the voice is delivered, created through word choice (diction) and sentence structure
(syntax)
• Point of view: (first, second, third person)
• Language features: (diction, vocab, figurative language devices, imagery)
• Stylistic features: (syntax, diction, punctuation POV, level of language e.g. formal, colloquial slang

Types of voice
• Authorial voice (nonfiction)
• Narrator’s voice
• Character’s voice

In the Reading to Write Module, you will focus on the ways reading and writing works to convey an authentic voice
(believable). You will use this knowledge to refine your own voice in your writing.

It is important that the characters or speakers’ dialogue matches their personality, background and context. If the
voice in a text is not authentic (believable), the reader will not have a deep connection with it. For example: We
don’t expect a highly educated lawyer of mature years to use words like ’dude’ and ’cool’, or to discuss the rules of
handball; and we don’t expect a twelve-year old lover of Fortnite and skating to use words like ’exemplary’ and
’ephemeral’, or to discuss the state of global politics.
Example of an authentic voice from Catcher in the Rye

Exercise: Identify words and phrases that give you hints about who the narrator is ’as a person’. Who is the speaker
in this passage? Comment on the choice of words, tone, and syntax.
If you really want to hear about it, the first thing you’ll probably want to know is where I was born, and what my lousy
childhood was like, and how my parents were occupied and all before they had me, and all that David Copperfield
kind of crap, but I don’t feel like going into it, if you want to know the truth. In the first place, that stuff bores me,
and in the second place, my parents would have two hemorrhages apiece if I told anything personal about them.
They’re quite touchy about anything like that, especially my father. They’re nice and all - I’m not saying that - but
they’re also touchy as hell.
Informal Tone: The use of phrases like “if you really want to hear about it“ and “I don’t feel like going into it, if you
want to know the truth“ suggests a casual and conversational tone.
Disinterest in personal history: The narrator expresses disinterest in discussing personal details, such as their birth,
childhood, and family history. The dismissal of “David Copperfield kind of crap“ reveals a lack of enthusiasm for
sentimental or elaborate narratives.
Cynical Behaviour: Phrases like “my lousy childhood,“ “all that crap“ and “especially my father“ convey a cynical and
somewhat dismissive attitude towards the traditional aspects of personal storytelling.
Protectiveness of family privacy: he narrator mentions that their parents would have “two haemorrhages apiece“ if
personal details were revealed, indicating a protective stance toward their family’s privacy.
Direct address to the reader: The narrator directly addresses the reader with phrases like “if you really want to
hear about it“ and “if you want to know the truth,“ creating a sense of intimacy or a one-on-one conversation.

Example of a cynical voice:

(NOTE: a cynic is someone who thinks the worst of other people, i.e., suspects their motivations)
My alarm went off at six this morning. Trust my parents to put it right next to my head where it gives me a shock.
Sheesh. I dragged my sorry self to the kitchen. Dad was there, smiling at me. Underneath, though, I knew he was
angry at me. He’s such a faker. What did he want from me? Mum asked me if I wanted a glass of orange juice. Said it
was for my health. I bet she just wanted to get rid of the bottle so she could buy herself some more of her precious
apple juice. Hah. I drank some milk, just to spite her. I sat down and looked at them, slurping their cereal like apes.
Suddenly I had a vision of myself at 40, stuck here with these two decrepit beings.

Exercise:
1.What judgments does this narrator make that identify him as cynical?
Cynical: not trusting or respecting the goodness of other people and their actions, but believing that people are
interested only in themselves
There are many judgments and hints in this that is outlined by the narrator identifying him as a cynical. When the
father smiles, he quickly assumes he is a faker. And when the mother kindly offers him juice, he rejects it, so he
doesn't finish the orange juice since his mum wanted apple. This exposes us to arrogance and not taking in the
goodness of others.

2. Choose two of the following voices and write a description of a trip to the corner shop to buy groceries in each:
• Miserable
• Optimistic
• Pessimistic
• Arrogant
• Uneasy
• Confused
or choose one of your own.
Navigating the familiar path to the corner shop, an uneasy tension lingered in the air, casting a shadow over the
mundane task at hand. The flickering streetlights played tricks on the mind, creating a disconcerting dance of
shadows that seemed to whisper secrets only half-revealed. As I approached the rusty door, a sense of foreboding
settled, transforming the once-familiar corner shop into an unsettling fortress.

Inside, the aisles, normally a haven of order, now stood in disarray, adding to the confusion that clouded my thoughts.
The uneasy hum of refrigerators harmonized with my anxious heartbeat, creating a disconcerting symphony that
underscored the unsettling atmosphere. Each item I reached for on the shelves felt like a potential source of
discomfort, as if the act of grocery shopping had taken on an unexpected and ominous undertone.

Amid the disarray, the routine act of selecting groceries became a maze of uncertainty. Conflicting signs and
unfamiliar turns within the aisles left me feeling bewildered and disoriented. The cashier’s indifferent gaze added
another layer of confusion, leaving me eager to escape the uneasy and disorienting confines of the corner shop. As
I exited, grocery bags in hand, the lingering sense of unease and confusion accompanied me, turning a simple errand
into a journey through the tangled threads of uncertainty.

Mini Imaginative Writing Task 3

Experimenting with Interior Monologue
• Interior monologue is a literary device that allows the reader to observe the inner thoughts of characters in
a narrative.
• It is often used to reveal the main character’s most private desire, frustrations, or points of view about the
other characters or events in the story.
• Unlike stream of consciousness, interior monologue can be integrated into third person narration.
• Voicing a characters’ thoughts can be a powerful tool to demonstrate internal conflict and showcase the
decision –making process going on inside the character’s head

Example of Interior Monologue:

As Steven approached the restaurant, he began to feel nervous. This situation was dicey, he thought. What if she
didn’t like Italian food? What if she didn’t like him? Stupid to come here, stupid to think he could impress her. There
was the table, she was sitting there. Yikes.
Exercise:
1.What is the attribution used?
Rhetorical questions.

2. How would you describe Steven’s feelings?

Nervous, concerned, worried.

3. What sort of questions does he ask?

what if she did not like Italian food? What if she did not like him?
4. Your task: Using one of the following starts, write your own interior monologue.
• Anna sat at the table. There was Simon, on his way to break up with her. Uh oh, she thought ...
• Ali approached Math’s class feeling angry. Why did he always get in trouble, he thought...
• Adam watched the truckles cross the road and looked at the nearest big rig, which he planned to steal. It
was big and fast, he thought.
• Noah looked around the farm. It was beautiful but boring, she thought...
• – or choose one of your own
Noah looked around the farm. It was beautiful but boring, she thought. The vast fields stretched out before her,
bathed in the soft hues of the setting sun. The rustling leaves and the distant calls of birds created a serene
atmosphere, but deep down, she couldn’t shake the feeling of monotony that seemed to linger in the air. As the
gentle breeze played with her hair, Noah’s mind began to wander. How did she end up here, in the midst of this
picturesque but uneventful landscape? The golden hues of the crops swaying in the wind failed to captivate her
attention; instead, her thoughts were a turbulent swirl of restlessness and longing.

The routine of farm life felt like an unending loop. Wake up, tend to the animals, Plow the fields – a cycle that
seemed to repeat endlessly, each day blending into the next. She had envisioned a different life for herself, one
filled with excitement, adventure, and the thrill of the unknown. Noah’s fingers absentmindedly traced the patterns on
the wooden fence, her gaze fixed on the distant horizon. Beyond those fields and rolling hills, there must be a world
pulsating with energy, a world that didn’t adhere to the rhythmic predictability of farm life. A world where she could
break free from the shackles of routine and embrace the unexpected.

The beauty of the farm, with its sprawling landscapes and quaint charm, only intensified her yearning for something
more. The juxtaposition of the serene surroundings and the restlessness within her created a dissonance that
echoed through her thoughts. Noah felt like a captive bird in a gilded cage – the scenery was breathtaking, but the
limitations felt suffocating. With a sigh, she made a silent promise to herself. One day, she would gather the courage
to venture beyond the boundaries of the farm, to chase the elusive allure of the unknown. The beauty of the land
would forever remain etched in her memory, but her heart longed for a journey that transcended the tranquil
monotony of the familiar fields.

Mini Imaginative Writing Task 4

Experimenting with Show don’t tell.

Telling: When you simply tell the reader what is happening, and a lot of the time you add subjective/personal
interpretations.

• “He was old“

• She was a loud talker“

Showing: You show the audience what is happening by painting a picture in their mind. You describe what is going on,
without including your personal opinions or interpretations, allowing the reader to make their own conclusion (trust
the reader to get it).
• “The wind whipped through what hair was left on his hand, and, if it weren’t for his can, may have bowled him
over“.
• “Her voice commanded the room, such that all other sounds seemed to shrink when he spoke.“

Of course, sometimes telling is also fine. It depends on what you are trying to say; what you are trying to do.
Your task: Rewrite the sentences relating to the following images into showing sentences.
Telling: “it was cold“
Showing:
A biting wind sliced through the air, carrying with it
the essence of winter’s icy grip. The atmosphere
stung as if a thousand tiny needles pricked at exposed
skin. Breath materialized in frosty puffs, hanging in
the frigid air like ethereal clouds of exhaled cold. The
surroundings seemed to crystallize, each surface
coated in a thin layer of frost, shimmering in the pale
light. Even the slightest breeze felt like a knife,
cutting through layers of clothing, and sending shivers
down spines. The world had transformed into a realm
of numbing chill, where every inhale felt like inhaling
the essence of winter itself.

Telling: “dog looked fierce“

Showing:
The dog’s muscles tensed beneath its sleek fur, a low growl
rumbling deep within its chest. Its sharp, glistening teeth
were borne, catching the glint of sunlight as its lips curled
into a menacing snarl. The fur along its back stood on end,
forming a rigid ridge that emphasized the power coursing
through its lean frame. Eyes, dark and intense, bore into the
intruder with a fierce, unyielding gaze. The air crackled
with the palpable energy of a creature ready to defend,
every sinew of its body conveying an untamed and primal
readiness for confrontation.

Telling: “The girl cried“

Showing:
The girl’s shoulders trembled as silent tears streamed
down her face. Her eyes, swollen and red, glistened
with unshed emotion. She clutched a crumpled tissue
in her trembling hands, desperately trying to conceal
the anguish that weighed on her chest. Each hiccupped
breath seemed to echo the depth of her sorrow, the
very air around her heavy with the unspoken pain. As
she bit her quivering lip, a solitary teardrop fell onto
the pages of her diary, leaving a small, glistening stain
amidst the inked confessions of a wounded heart.
 Emulating The Tattooist
Instructions: Read the short story The Tattooist by Ann Vick as a class, then work in pairs or small groups to annotate
for the following features. First go through these features as a class.

Happens within a short time The event in The Tattooist happens within approx. 10-minutes.
frame.
You should choose a small-time frame -an hour, a walk, a train trip, ten minutes
and no more than a day.
Simple plot- cover a single event in detail rather than skimming over several
events. THIS IS MOST EFFECTIVE!
Uses structural devices such Anne Vick uses flashbacks to reveal the backstory of the Tattooist.
as flashback.
Experiment with structure in your writing, HSC markers love this!)
If you use a flashback, make sure there is something to trigger the flashback
(object, sound, smell etc.), otherwise your writing will be disjointed.

Character development The character (tattooist) begins with particular thoughts and feelings about the
girls who enter his shop and by the end of the story his thoughts/feelings change
- This change is character development.
NOTE! if you don’t have character development your story will be FLAT

Show don’t tell.
This is done through imagery and figurative devices such as metaphors,
symbolism etc)
The best writers don’t give every detail, they trust that their readers can read
between the lines. For example: instead of saying “She felt sad and wanted to go
home“ Consider: “she hunched her shoulders and tried to make herself as small
as possible. She locked her eyes in an exit sign, seductively visible and yet
depressingly out of reach, as though it was taunting her“

Gets inside the character’s
head.
Anne Vick uses third person to reveal the thoughts and feelings of the character
– this is more effective than a story that’s driven by too much action.
You should get inside the head of the main character, it could be either first
person or third person, but focus hugely on their perceptions, feelings and
thoughts, create a clear and interesting narrative voice

These are the features that you will emulate in your own writing- This is what
thequestions
Answer the Readingon to
theWrite
side as Module is allTattooist.
you read The about- looking at what a composer does
effectively in their writing and doing the same in YOUR OWN WRITING!
The Tattooist is a good example of how to write and how much you need to
write in the HSC.

The Tattooist by Anne Vick
The tattooist looked up when a sweep of
street noise flowed into his shop. He smiled at
the girls who had walked in but they busied
themselves at the walls of sketches instead of
looking at him. He knew their type, girls from
the inner city who never ventured this far into
the country unless they were on a dare. Self-
consciously he pulled down the sleeves of his
shirt. He wore his history on his arms. There
were rough tattoos and faded good ones and
he had always worn them displayed with pride
but the girls unnerved him.
He'd known girls like this all his life. He'd
watched them on the city trams when he had
been a gangly youth on his way to dead end
job interviews, and they had been schoolgirls
in their formal uniforms. He'd watched them
then, fascinated by the breath of dry-cleaning
fluid and the whisper of ironed cotton as they
swayed around the corners. He'd watched the
way their precision cut hair rippled as they
moved their heads and he stared at their
liquid eyes set in flawless skin always kissed by
the summers of southern Europe. They never
looked at him and he learnt his place in the
world.
He watched them now in his shop, his own
business, which he'd had to use a government
grant to start. They spoke only in whispers,
pointing to this tattoo and that, moving
carelessly around the walls. He felt his temper
rise. They'd know nothing of scraping a living,
watching each dollar that he worked so long to
earn fly from his pocket relentlessly. It riled
him to see them wander past each sketch that
he had worked so hard to produce. He'd had
to wait until Cheryl had put the kids to bed
each night before he could finally clear a space
on the kitchen table on which to work. He'd
had to produce a hundred of each before he
was satisfied that he could hang the sketch
and no one would mock it, and yet here were
the girls of his youth rejecting each with the
same disdain they had shown on the tram.
What is the tattooist’s initial thoughts/feelings of the girls who walked
into his shop?
The tattooist initially sees the girls as a specific type - city girls who
rarely venture into the countryside unless challenged. He notes their
lack of attention towards him and their busyness with the sketches on
the walls. The girls unnerving him is evident in his self-conscious
gesture of pulling down the sleeves of his shirt.
Explain the metaphor “he wore his history on his arms“.
This metaphor suggests that the tattooist's past, experiences, and
personal his3tory are physically marked on his arms through tattoos. It
implies that his life story, struggles, and achievements are visibly
displayed, becoming an integral part of his identity.
Identify the flashback – what triggered the flashback?
The flashback is triggered by the sight of the girls, reminding the
tattooist of similar girls from his youth. The mention of watching them
on city trams, observing their precision-cut hair, and the memory of
feeling unnoticed sets off the flashback.
What backstory does the flashback reveal? Does it explain why the
girls unnerve him?
The flashback reveals the tattooist’s past experiences as a gangly
youth riding city tram, observing schoolgirls with flawless skin and liquid
eyes. It highlights his fascination with their apparent privilege and his
realization of his place in the world, feeling invisible to them.
How is imagery used to characterise the girls? (show don’t tell)
The imagery used to characterize the girls includes phrases like
“precision-cut hair,“ “liquid eyes set in flawless skin,“ and “always kissed
by the summers of southern Europe.“ These descriptions evoke a
sense of elegance and privilege, creating a vivid image of the girls’
appearance and background.
What is the effect of the anaphora? (repetition) “He’d watch“.
The repetition of “He’d watch“ serves as an anaphora, emphasizing the
tattooist’s consistent observation of these types of girls throughout
his life. It conveys a sense of continuity and highlights the lasting
impact these observations have had on his perception of the world.
Which word signals that the character is out of the flashback and back
to the present?
The word “now“ signals the character’s return from the flashback to
the present. For example, “He watched them now in his shop...“

They turned to look at him and smiled. He
looked for scorn in their faces. His skin ran
to cold under their gaze.
"We like your sketches," they said but he
didn't believe them. He thought he could
hear the thirty pieces of silver clinking in
their pockets. "Do you do anything that
isn't on display?"
"Depends on design and how many
colours," he said to them roughly. He chose
anger as his vanguard but the girls didn't
even seem to notice. One of the girls
pushed forward a sketch on a torn piece of
paper.
"I'd like it just in blue," she said. "It's for my
grandmother. And my friend wants one
almost the same for her grandfather." The
tattooist had decided to talk the girls out of
the tattoos, to get them quickly out of his
shop, to show them that he was no longer a
spotty youth but a man of hard won
dignity… until he saw their design. Instead
he just nodded and showed the girls to a
seat.
Each girl sat and grinned at her friend as
the tattooist worked, tears squeezed out
from her clenched eyes. For each girl, the
tattooist's tears dripped down on the
underside of their left forearms and
disinfected the tiny holes he made, the
sequence of blue numbers he was creating
a blur.
When he had finished, one of the girls paid
with a flashing gold card then reached out
and took the tattooist by the hand.
"You understand why the numbers?" she
asked quietly and the tattooist nodded.
"Lest we forget," he said and he let his hand
relax into hers.
What backstory do the snippets of flashback reveal?
The snippets of flashback reveal the tattooist’s lifelong observations of
privileged girls, particularly during his youth on city trams. It unveils his
sense of being an outsider, unnoticed by these girls, and the impact it
had on shaping his perspective.
he could hear the thirty pieces of silver clinking in their pockets. This is
a biblical allusion to Judas betraying Jesus- What does this suggest about
how the tattooist feels about the girls?
The reference to “thirty pieces of silver clinking in their pockets“
suggests that the tattooist may feel betrayed or undervalued by the
girls. The allusion to Judas betraying Jesus implies a sense of betrayal or
selling out, indicating that the tattooist feels the girls are insincere or
motivated by self-interest.
“he was no longer a spotty youth but a man of hard won dignity… until
he saw their design“ What does the ellipsis (….) show?
The ellipsis indicates a pause or hesitation in the tattooist’s thoughts. It
suggests a moment of reflection or internal conflict, emphasizing a shift
in his self-perception. The pause signifies that the sight of the girls’
design has disrupted his sense of pride and dignity.
How is show don’t tell used to show that the tattooist is emotional?
The emotional state of the tattooist is shown through the physical
manifestation of tears. The description of tears squeezed out from the
girls’ clenched eyes while getting the tattoos conveys a depth of
emotion without explicitly stating the tattooist’s feelings.
What do you think blur could also symbolise?
The term “blur“ could symbolize a lack of clarity or the distortion of
identity. In the context of the tattoos, it may suggest the tattooist’s
emotional turmoil, or the indistinct nature of the memories associated
with the numbers. It could also symbolize the blending of past and
present, highlighting the enduring impact of history on the present.
How has the tattooist’s character developed /changed in the end? How
does he feel about the girls now?
The tattooist’s character undergoes a change in perception. Initially
irritated and unnerved by the girls, he transforms as he sees their
design. The change is brought about by the meaningful design the girls
present, leading him to reconsider his initial judgments.
How is show not tell used to convey this change of development in the
last line?
The change in the tattooist’s perspective is conveyed through the last
line: “When he had finished, one of the girls paid with a flashing gold
card then reached out and took the tattooist by the hand.“ This action,
without explicitly stating his emotions, suggests a shift in his feelings
towards the girls. The physical contact symbolizes a connection or
understanding that goes beyond the initial misunderstanding.
Task 2: Experimenting With a Short Time Frame
The Tattooist is a good example of how to write within a short time frame.
Instructions: Choose a small-time frame -an hour, a
walk, a train trip, ten minutes but no more than a
day. Compose an imaginative fragment (1-2
paragraphs) that focuses on a single character’s
thoughts and feelings at this specific moment in
time.
Select from one of the following prompts or
choose one of your own. =].
- While writing a story
- Right before you blow out
birthday candles
- Right before you are about to
take a penalty goal
- On a bus ride home from school
- On a short evening stroll
- While going up in an elevator
- While getting a tattoo
- While walking down the aisle
- Choose your own
Writing Tips:
• Focus on the small details. - example you might
open with an extreme close up describing
someone’s hand or a button etc
• Imagery -Imagine you are describing walking
through a marketplace- describe the smell,
sight, sounds, taste of the food.
• Show don’t tell.
• Character development
• Use a short flashback!
• Avoid cliched ideas/plots (car crash,
cancer/illnesses, death, heart attacks or
anything that stretches the credibility) Original
ideas score more marks.
• Avoid simplistic language (good, bad, stupid, got,
said, walk, run, nice)

The elevator’s ascent felt like a slow-motion journey through the suspended reality of anticipation. Clara, nestled in
the mirrored enclosure, watched as each floor number illuminated, counting upward like a ticking clock amplifying her
heartbeat. Her breath, a rhythmic companion to the mechanical hum, betrayed the mixture of excitement and anxiety
that coursed through her veins.
In her hand, she clutched a small, crumpled note containing words carefully chosen, a confession meant to alter the
course of her life. The reflection in the mirrored walls captured the subtle nuances of her emotions – the furrowed
brow, the fleeting smiles that danced across her lips, and the intensity in her eyes that oscillated between hope and
trepidation. As the elevator continued its ascent, Clara’s thoughts became a whirlwind of introspection. She
rehearsed the sentences she longed to articulate, sentences that held the potential to redefine her reality. The
confined space, surrounded by reflective surfaces, felt like an intimate cocoon, shielding her vulnerability as she
prepared to step into the unknown.
With each passing floor, the elevator served as a metaphorical time capsule, encapsulating the moments leading up
to a pivotal encounter. The mechanical hum, the flickering floor numbers, and the mirrored walls transformed the
mundane act of ascending into a profound metaphor for the emotional journey Clara was undertaking. The elevator
doors, when they finally parted, would reveal not just a new physical space but the uncharted territories of her
heart and the possibilities that awaited her on the other side.

Task 3 Imaginative Recreation

Instructions: Recreate the story The Tattooist from the perspective of one of the girls who entered the tattoo
shop. Complete this in your exercise book and share your response with the class (2 paragraphs)

• Get inside the character’s head, what is she thinking and feeling in that moment? What is her impression of
the tattooist? Does she think he’s mean, rude etc.?
• Use a short flashback to reveal the backstory of why she wanted that tattoo. Does she have a fond
memory of her grandfather?
• Show don’t tell through imagery.
• Ensure character development – maybe her opinion of the tattooist changes in the end?
As we entered the tattoo shop, the jingle of a bell announced our presence, and I exchanged a quick glance with my
friend. The place exuded an atmosphere of raw creativity, with sketches adorning the walls, each telling a unique
story. The tattooist looked up from his work, a quick smile crossing his face as if he had anticipated our arrival. I
couldn’t help but feel a sense of excitement mingled with a tinge of nerves; after all, this was uncharted territory for
us, girls from the inner city who rarely ventured into the countryside. We busied ourselves with the sketches,
avoiding eye contact with the tattooist. I could sense his gaze upon us, and a curiosity flickered in his eyes. As we
whispered to each other, pointing at various designs, I couldn’t help but feel a pang of guilt. We were outsiders here,
invading his space with our urban sensibilities.
When we finally mustered the courage to speak, he seemed rough and guarded, as if anticipating rejection. He asked
about our preferences, and I noticed the tattoos on his arms - a collage of stories etched into his skin. It made me
wonder about the tales he held within, the hardships and triumphs that shaped him. The resentment in his voice as he
spoke about scraping a living and watching every hard-earned dollar slip away revealed a layer of vulnerability.
Despite the initial tension, a subtle shift occurred when we presented our sketch. His demeanour changed as he
looked at it, and I caught a glimpse of something deeper in his eyes. The design was more than just ink on skin; it
held a personal significance for him. As he worked on the tattoos, tears welled in our eyes, and in that shared
vulnerability, a connection formed.
Paying with a flashing gold card, I reached out and took his hand. “You understand why the numbers?“ I asked quietly.
The tattooist nodded, and in that moment, the gap between us seemed to dissolve. The numbers on our forearms
blurred as a shared understanding emerged - a silent acknowledgment of history, pain, and the need to remember. In
leaving the shop, we carried not just the physical imprints but a profound sense of connection, realizing that beneath
the surface, we were all storytellers, weaving the chapters of our lives together.

Element Your notes

1.SUBJECT/ KEY IDEA(S) The subject or central ideas of this text revolve around the
tattooist's observations and interactions with two girls who
What is the subject or central idea(s) of this text? enter his shop. It explores his feelings, memories, and current
experiences, highlighting his perception of the girls and their
impact on him.
2. TEXT TYPE The author has chosen a narrative or descriptive text type.
• What text type has the author chosen? The text unfolds as a narrative, describing the tattooist’s
• How does this affect the overall style of the text? thoughts, emotions, and interactions with the girls. This text
type allows for a personal and immersive exploration of the
character’s experiences.
The use of a narrative style allows readers to delve into the
tattooist's inner thoughts and memories. It creates a more
intimate connection with the character and emphasizes his
emotions and reactions to the situation.
3. CONTEXT The text appears to be a part of a larger narrative, possibly a
In what context is the text found? novel or a longer story, given the depth of character
• Does it rely on any previous knowledge or shared exploration and the inclusion of flashbacks. It doesn’t seem to
understandings? heavily rely on specific previous knowledge or shared
understandings, but it assumes readers can relate to themes
of personal identity, observation, and the impact of social
dynamic
4. PURPOSE Considering the narrative and introspective nature of the text,
• Considering the previous steps, what is the author’s the author’s purpose appears to be character development
purpose in this text? and exploration. The passage delves into the tattooist’s
thoughts, emotions, and past experiences, offering insights
into his identity and the factors that shape his current
interactions
TECHNIQUES
A) FORM Point of View: The text adopts a third-person limited point of
• What point of view is adopted? view, focusing on the thoughts and experiences of the
• How does the text type and purpose influence the tattooist.
form? Influence of Text Type and Purpose on Form: The narrative
and introspective nature of the text allow for a deep
exploration of the character's perspective.
Significance of the Title: The title, "The Tattooist," is likely
significant as it establishes the central character's role and
sets the scene for the narrative.
Text Construction: The text is constructed with a mix of
present interactions and flashbacks, creating a layered

C) APPEALS TO THE READER
• Does it appeal to emotion, reason, or creates
suspense?
• How does the text persuade you read on?
(sensory detail, connotation, adjectives, cliff-hangers
etc) • How does it involve the reader?
(rhetorical questions, pronouns)
D) IMAGERY
• What visuals are there?
• Does the text employ figurative language?
(metaphors, similes, paradoxes, symbolisms)
• Are there any deliberate contrasts?
• Does the text make any allusions?
(biblical, popular culture, Shakespeare, recent events)
E) SOUND DEVICES
• Does it employ repetition, alliteration, onomatopoeia,
or assonance to influence the reader?
• Does it use dialogue or quotations?
• Is the punctuation used for a specific effect?
6. MEANING
How is this text constructed to convey a range of key
ideas to a
reader?
structure that adds depth to the character and the current
scene.
Sentence/Paragraph Length: The varying sentence and
paragraph lengths contribute to the pacing, with shorter
sentences and paragraphs used for emphasis and longer ones
for descriptive and reflective purposes.
Appeals: The text appeals to the reader' empathy by
exploring the tattooist's emotions and struggles. It also
engages the reader's curiosity through the use of flashbacks,
creating a sense of suspense.
Persuasion: The use of sensory details, connotations, and
adjectives contributes to the emotional appeal. The
involvement of the reader is encouraged through
introspective thoughts and the sharing of the character's inner
world.
Visuals: The text provides visuals of the tattoo shop, the girls,
and the sketches on the walls.
Figurative Language: Metaphors are present, such as "he wore
his history on his arms," contributing to a vivid portrayal of the
character.
Contrasts: Deliberate contrasts are made between the
tattooist's past experiences and the present encounter with
the girls.
Allusions: There are no explicit indications of allusions in the
provided passage.
Repetition: The anaphora, "He'd watch," serves as a repetition
that emphasizes the tattooist's continuous observations of
similar girls in the past.
Dialogue: Dialogue is used to convey the interaction between
the tattooist and the girls, providing insight into their
motivations and creating a sense of realism.
Punctuation: Punctuation is used for specific effects, such as
ellipses indicating pauses and a question mark at the end of
"Lest we forget" to highlight its significance.
The text is constructed to convey key ideas about the
tattooist’s identity, past experiences, and his current
interactions with the girls. The use of flashbacks adds layers
to the character, fostering a deeper understanding of his
motivations and reactions. The narrative structure and appeals
to the reader contribute to a nuanced exploration of the
tattooist’s perspective.

Robert Olen Butler Missing

This is the story of an American soldier who stays in Vietnam after the war.
He is photographed by a journalist and his picture is posted in a newspaper a year later. This triggers anxiety because
he has created a new happy life in Vietnam with his new Vietnamese family and this photo risks disrupting that
happiness.
This story is one of acceptance and belonging, of finding family and home.
The title reflects the character’s inner conflict, rather than his desire to return to his homeland. He is unhappy that is
labelled as “missing“. The term “missing“ implies a sense of loss or yearning to return and that is not how he feels.
[ Short story on teams]
The following are some distinct features in Robert Olen Butler’s short story Missing that you can emulate/copy in
your own writing.
Distinct Feature Example
Starts the narrative with an object. “It was me you saw in that photo across a sugar cane field“
(newspaper containing his photo) then
uses the object to expand the story by
delving into his past
“but you could see my blond hair, even blonder now than when I leaned my rifle
Hair motif – symbolises identity. against a star apple tree“
blond hair characteries the narrator as “she rubbed her hands through my hair, calling it sunlight’
an American
The markedly visible blond hair which “the smell of my daughter’s hair washed from the big pot in our back yard to
made him a target for the French catch the rainwater“
photographer “should have gone black,
by rights“ he remarks, avowing the and I don't know why I was caught by her hair at that moment but it is long and
degree of assimilation he feels in it has this color that belongs to no one else here, not my wife, not me
Vietnam-Sense that he is ashamed of his her hair neither dark nor light
American identity -wants to be
Vietnamese (symbolised by the dark “Except for the blond hairs on my knuckles, and I looked at my arms and there
was a forest of blond hair on this dark arm“
hair) but his blonde hair gives him away
Stream of consciousness “I was smoking by the edge of the jungle and some French journalist, I think it
was, took that photo with a long lens, and you couldn't even see the cigarette
style of writing mimicking the way in my hand but you could see my blond hair, even blonder now than when I
people think- gets inside the character’s leaned my rifle against a star apple tree with my unit on up the road in a
head)
terrible fight and I put my pack and steel pot beside it and I walked into the
trees“

Colour imagery matching the “with skin the color of this dirt street moments after a rain“
context/landscape of the village
“her hair is the brown of the dried tobacco, not black but the color of what we
grow and prepare here“
show don’t tell/ subtle hints. “There are children in this house, and they sleep each night in great fear and
they have places on their bodies that are the color of the sky in the highlands
Places on their bodies = bruises? Hints of of Vietnam just after the sun has disappeared.“
physical abuse?
Butler only subtly hints at childhood
trauma never says it ( show don’t
tell)

Questions:
Provide a short summary of the story.
The passage depicts the internal struggle of a narrator who, after being featured in a photograph during the Vietnam
War, faces the consequences of his past. The speaker, now living in Vietnam with a family, grapples with the impact
of the photograph published in an American newspaper, forcing him to confront memories of his life in America and
the Vietnam War.
How does Butler begin the story and what is the effect of this?
Butler begins the story with a revelation: “It was me you saw in that photo...“ This direct admission immediately
engages the reader, setting a confessional tone. The effect is an immediate connection between the narrator and
the audience, establishing a sense of intimacy and vulnerability.
Identify other distinct features that Butler uses effectively?
Vivid Imagery: Butler employs vivid descriptions and sensory details to paint a picture of the Vietnamese village, the
people, and the internal landscape of the narrator.
Metaphors and Symbolism: The use of metaphors, such as "the great bland jaws of that house," adds depth to the
narrative. The hair motif and the swing from the narrator's childhood carry symbolic weight, contributing to the
story's richness.
What does the hair motif symbolise?
The blond hair on the narrator’s arms becomes a symbol of his American identity, a physical remnant of his past. The
contrast between the dark skin and blond hair represents the dichotomy between the narrator’s current life in
Vietnam and his previous life in America.

What does Butler hint about the narrator’s past? How does he do this?
The narrator hints at his past through memories of his time in America during the Vietnam War, suggesting a complex
history. The use of flashbacks and reflections on the photograph reveals the narrator’s internal conflict and his
struggle to reconcile the different aspects of his identity.
Why does the narrator feel uncomfortable about being labelled ’missing“?
The narrator feels uncomfortable about being labelled ’missing’ because it threatens the stability and identity he has
established in Vietnam. The label resurrects memories of the war, potentially jeopardizing his current life and
relationships.

What might the swing from the narrator’s childhood memory symbolise?
The swing from the narrator’s childhood memory symbolizes a desire for escape and freedom. The repetitive motion
of the swing suggests a yearning for a simpler time, contrasting with the complexities of the narrator’s current life.
It becomes a metaphor for the narrator’s internal struggle and his attempt to distance himself from his past.

What structural device does Butler use to end the story ?

The structural device used to end the story is a return to the present moment. The narrator walks away, leaving the
reader with a sense of unresolved tension. This open-ended conclusion invites contemplation and reflection, allowing
readers to infer the ongoing internal conflict within the narrator.

Creative Task (Writing Portfolio)

Experimenting with an object -Notice how Robert Olen Butler begins his narrative with an object?

Think of an object that has a story and a memory for you. Write a short imaginative recreation of this memory (1-2
paragraphs) E.g. your object could be your grandmother’s ring, when you look at it, you are reminded of a time when
she was wearing it etc. Describe this memory in detail using the five senses (imagery)
Try to include colour imagery linked to the setting of the memory the way Butler does in his story!

In the corner of my jewellery box, nestled among the trinkets and memories, lies a Maori necklace, its intricate design
a portal to a distant moment. The pendant, carved from dark, lustrous pounamu, holds the weight of history and
whispers of an adventure beneath the Southern Hemisphere skies. The memory unfurls in the vibrant hues of
Rotorua, New Zealand, where the air is laden with the scent of geothermal wonders. I recall the rich greens of the
native ferns that framed the entrance to a small artisan shop, where the necklace found its way into my possession.
The Māori artist, hands weathered by tradition, carefully explained the significance of each symbol etched into the
jade.
As I run my fingers over the cool surface of the pendant, I am transported to the warmth of the sun casting a
golden glow on the red earth. The necklace dangled from my neck, the greens of the landscape harmonizing with the
verdant hues of the carved symbols. The air buzzed with the vibrant energy of Maori culture, and the necklace
seemed to absorb the essence of the land. In the quiet of my room, the necklace conjures the memory of a fiery
sunset over Lake Taupo. The colours dance in my mind – the burnt oranges and deep purples reflecting off the
water, mirroring the swirls and curves of the pendant. The pounamu, now a fusion of earthy colours, holds the
whispers of the Maori storytellers, their tales interwoven with the threads of the necklace.
That necklace, cradled in the soft velvet of my jewellery box, is not just an object; it is a kaleidoscope of memories.
The greens, reds, and golds of that day in Rotorua persist in the carved patterns, preserving a moment when culture,
nature, and a piece of art converged in a transcendent dance.
 Self Portrait

You grip the brush firmly, allowing the length of the wood to indent and flush your hand red till it hurts. Your wrist
ache and your arm are heavy from the long strokes, the quick jabs, the violent shakes, the determined scrapes. The
morning light has only just started to filter through the curtains and the candles you lit hours ago have burnt out into
thin white wisps. There is a certain stale solvent smell that hangs like a heavy spider web in the room and attaching
to the clothes on your body. But you do not notice this. It is only the bitter linseed that radiates from your canvas
that you smell. As the morning sunlight blares into the room, dust particles are electrified, and they dance in front of
your eyes. But your vision does not allow it. All you see is hues of oceans and soil and leaves and blood. The noise
from outside is amplified and the incessant, rhythmic tick of the red second hand is loud. But it is all white noise
beneath the foreground of the horsehair scratches on canvas. A draught of cold air brushes up on your bare legs and
exposed back which provokes bumps on your skin. It blows up your cotton dress to inflate its shape in the same
rhythm of your body swaying back and forth. You do not notice the cold or your swaying, only the movement of your
hand with the brush. You apply more pressure to the curves of her neck and the darkness in her face. Gentle strokes
fade the hollowness into highlight, and you stop painting.
It is all different. You notice the harsh light now and the filth settled into the wet paint. The turpentine fumes
possess you and the trying tick of the clock aggravates you. You turn to see where the cold air caressing you is
sourced. She looks ugly on the canvas. You dip the paint brush into the large black jar and strike the canvas with a
determined passion. It is ruined. Start again.

Hundreds of pots of colour sit precariously propped on books, chairs, and canvases with lids off and all over the
house. Cold cups of tea and coffee ring marks on wooden tables decorate the room. Brushes and jars of murky
brown water are scattered amongst the overturned books and loose watercolour papers. Webs and dead insects
swamp the lamps in the room. They are over heating now. One of the light bulbs burst and burnt out. But you do not
notice this. All you notice is how her forehead wrinkles and her eyes turn down at the ends. You see how the hairs on
her head are dark and soft and curly but the grey hairs at her temples grow out like hard wires. The lines on her
face run deep and lazily hang down her cheeks like loose ropes. You notice her gaunt eye sockets and hard crusted
lips lined with a dark obnoxious red. Her white cotton dress clings to her hollow and frail body but hangs loosely like
the skin on her face. You pick up a small bucket of white paint and drown the picture and it is new. The paint drips
down the picture onto your cold blue toes. It dries and you paint again.
You smear the canvas and anoint it in the reds. Her hair falls green like vines. Her dress black not white. Her eyes
deep blue as they are. She looks tired now like her shoulders are aching from sitting still. She straightens her back
and so you do the same on the canvas. The light is beginning to fade and the warm yellow of the afternoon creeps in
at the bottom of the window where the curtains have left a crack. It is very cold now and your arm is shaking from
the violence coming out of the tip of your brush. Your body is now adorned with the colours you painted her to be.
You scratch at the itchiness of your skin as you scratch at the itchiness on the canvas.
All light has gone, and you stand in the almost darkness. A single lamp in the corner of the room guides your hand but
it casts a shadow on her face. You cannot see her properly now. But it is finished. You drop the brush and lay on the
cold wooden floor, caked in paint. Your body’s muscles relax and melt into the paint. She looks down at you and she is
beautiful. You are relieved and so is she. You smile and so does she. You fall asleep to the sound of dripping paint.
It is over and you are she.

1.What is the effect of using second person address ’you“ in this story?
The use of second person “you“ creates a sense of immediacy and intimacy, pulling the reader directly into the
experience of the artist. It makes the narrative more engaging and personal, as if the reader is stepping into the
artist’s shoes and experiencing the painting process firsthand. This narrative technique can enhance empathy and
emotional connection with the character.

2.The following is a good example of show don’t tell. What is it showing? The morning light has only just started to
filter through the curtains and the candles you lit hours ago have burnt out into thin white wisps.
The example provided, “The morning light has only just started to filter through the curtains, and the candles you lit
hours ago have burnt out into thin white wisps,“ shows the gradual transition from darkness to light, conveying the
passage of time. Instead of directly stating that it’s morning and the candles have burned out, the author uses
descriptive details to paint a vivid picture, allowing readers to infer the time and atmosphere.
3.What is the effect of the short sentence “But you do not notice this“.
This short sentence creates a sense of obliviousness or preoccupation on the part of the artist. It emphasizes the
artist’s intense focus on the painting, suggesting that external details such as the cold air or the burnt-out candles are
secondary to the artistic process. The brevity of the sentence adds a subtle, impactful tone to the narrative.

4.How does the author show us that the artist in the story is completely absorbed in her painting? Provide examples.
"But your vision does not allow it. All you see is hues of oceans and soil and leaves and blood."
"You do not notice the cold or your swaying, only the movement of your hand with the brush."
"You apply more pressure to the curves of her neck and the darkness in her face. Gentle strokes fade the
hollowness into highlight, and you stop painting."

5a. Underline examples of the following figurative devices: simile, personification, imagery, alliteration
5b. Highlight the adjectives used in the first paragraph.
Simile: "dust particles are electrified, and they dance in front of your eyes."
Personification: "candles you lit hours ago have burnt out into thin white wisps."
Imagery: "hues of oceans and soil and leaves and blood."
Alliteration: "violent shakes, the determined scrapes."

7. Find an example where the author focuses on the small details when describing the setting
“The morning light has only just started to filter through the curtains, and the candles you lit hours ago have burnt
out into thin white wisps.“ This description highlights small details like the thin wisps of burnt-out candles, emphasizing
the passage of time and the artist’s immersion in the painting process.

8.She looks ugly on the canvas -considering the title of this piece, who is “she“?
The identity of “she“ is not explicitly mentioned, but considering the title, it is likely that “she“ refers to the artist
herself, suggesting a self-portrait.

9.What is the effect of the short sentences? It is ruined. Start again.

These short sentences create a sense of abruptness and frustration. They convey the artist’s dissatisfaction with
the painting and the need for a fresh start. The brevity adds a sharp tone, emphasizing the emotional impact of the
artist’s reaction.
What does the setting description show us about the character?
The setting description, filled with chaotic elements like overturned books, scattered brushes, and pots of colour,
reflects the artist’s absorbed and intense creative process. It suggests a disregard for the external environment in
Favor of the artistic vision, highlighting the character’s dedication and fixation on the painting.

10.Considering the title of the poem we can infer that the artist is painting a portrait of herself. What does the
description of the painting reveal about the artist and how she feels about herself?
The description of the painting reveals the artist’s meticulous attention to details, emotional investment, and the
desire for perfection. The changing colours and attempts to capture various aspects of the subject’s appearance
indicate a complex relationship between the artist and the painted image.
11.Describe what is happening in this scene
In this scene, the artist is deeply engrossed in painting, with a focus on capturing intricate details of a woman. The
process involves intense physical and emotional involvement, and the artist becomes increasingly dissatisfied,
prompting a decision to start anew. The setting is described as chaotic, reflecting the artist’s single-minded
dedication to the creative process. As the painting progresses, the artist’s connection with the subject deepens,
leading to a transformative moment where the boundaries between the artist and the painted figure blur. The scene
ends with a sense of relief and satisfaction as the artist merges with the completed painting.

12.Wihch line gives us a sense that the artist and the girl she is painting on the canvas have merged into one?
“It is over and you are she.“ This line suggests a merging or identification between the artist and the subject of the
painting, reinforcing the notion that the painted figure represents the artist herself.

13.How is there character development in the end? How does the artist feel about herself now?
The artist’s act of lying on the cold floor, caked in paint, and smiling at the completed painting suggests a sense of
relief and satisfaction. The merging of the artist with the painted figure signifies a deeper connection or
acceptance, possibly indicating a positive shift in the artist’s perception of herself.