The Interpersonal Communication Book

Joseph A. Devito

Interpersonal
Relationships

Chapter 9
Chapter Objectives

9.1 Dimensions of interpersonal relationships

9.2 Power and relationships
9.3 Stages of relational development
9.4 Interpersonal communication skill &
strategies for maintaining relationships..
 You can hardly make a friend in a
year, but you can lose one in an hour.

Chinese Proverb

Copyright © 2014, 2011, 2008 Pearson Education, Inc. All rights

reserved.
Friendship Relationships
LO 9.1 Dimensions of interpersonal relationships

Definition and Characteristics

Friendship Types
Reciprocity
Receptivity
Association
Friendship Relationships – we form relatively
few in our lifetime, but they are very important.
Definition and Characteristics
Friendship – the interpersonal relationship between
two interdependent people that is mutually productive
and characterized by mutual positive regard.
“Personalistic focus” – react to each other as
complete persons, as unique, genuine, and
irreplaceable individuals.
Must be mutually productive.
Must be characterized by mutual positive regard.
Friendship Types
Reciprocity – the ideal type, characterized
1.

by loyalty, self-sacrifice, mutual affection,

and generosity. Based on equality.
Receptivity – an imbalance in giving and
2.

receiving with both gaining; a difference in

status is essential.
Association – transitory, cordial but not
3.

intense.
Interpersonal Relationships Defined
(Continued)

Copyright © 2014, 2011, 2008

Pearson Education, Inc. All rights
reserved.
Model of Relational Development

Copyright © 2014, 2011, 2008

Pearson Education, Inc. All rights
reserved.
Friendship Relationships

Friendship Needs
Utility
Affirmation
Ego support
Stimulation
Security
Relationship, Person, and Message Power
LO 9.2 Power and relationships

Power in the Relationship

Referent Power
Legitimate (pengesahan dari segi undang-undand)
Power
Expert Power
Information or Persuasion (memujuk) Power
Reward (ganjaran) Power
Coercive (bersifat memaksa) Power
VIEWPOINTS
Gender and Influence
VIEWPOINTS
Power on
the Job
Relationship, Person, and Message Power

Power in the Person

Credibility
Competence
Character
Charisma
VIEWPOINTS
Power in the Media
Relationship, Person, and Message Power

Power in the Message

Verbal Messages
Those that strengthen power
Those that weaken power
Nonverbal Messages
Listening
Relationship, Person, and Message Power

Resisting (bertahan) Power and Influence

Negotiation
Nonnegotiation
Justification
Identity management
Negative
Positive
Misuses of Power and Influence
LO 12.3 Explain sexual harassment, bullying, and power plays as misuses
of power and influence.

Sexual Harassment
Defining Sexual Harassment
Quid pro quo
Creation of a hostile environment
Recognizing Sexual Harassment
Avoiding Sexual Harassment Behaviors
Responding to Sexual Harassment
 Types of Harassment in Addition to
Workplace Sexual Harassment
Types of Harassment
Race and color harassment. Harassment of
another person because of that person’s race
or color, most often applied to minority and
immigrant groups.
Affectional orientation harassment.
Harassment based on a person’s affectional
orientation and generally
directed at gay men and lesbians,
transvestites, and transsexuals.
Religious harassment. Harassment
(sometimes referred to as creed harassment)
that is based on a person’s religious affiliation
or religious beliefs,
Often directed at atheists.
Examples
Using derogatory names or racial slurs;
talking in stereotypes; acting superior and
treating others as inferiors (for example, as
less intelligent, less ethical, or less
“civilized”).
Using derogatory names, imitating
stereotypical mannerisms, threatening the
person with outing, excluding same-sex
partners from important functions.
Making offensive and stereotypical religious
jokes; making fun of religious customs,
symbols, or clothing; not accommodating to
one religion while accommodating to others.
 Types of Harassment in Addition to
Workplace Sexual Harassment (continued)
Types of Harassment Examples
Academic harassment. Harassment in the form Discriminating in counseling, being less
of statements or actions by senior faculty attentive to or supportive of junior faculty
members that interfere with a junior colleague’s members; grading students unfairly.
development, or statements or actions by a
faculty member that interfere with students’
ability to perform effectively.
Status harassment. Harassment in the Criticizing publicly; giving unfair salary
organizational setting, generally directed by increases or withholding them; forcing
those with power against those with less power; workers to do unethical things (for
often takes the form of insulting comments to or example, pad an expense account);
treatment of workers by managers. making insulting or sarcastic comments.
Disability harassment. Harassment against Failing to adjust communications to the
persons with disabilities, most often directed at person with the disability; using language
persons with visual or hearing impairment or that demeans the person; intruding on
with physical, speech, or language disabilities. physical aids (for example, leaning on a
person’s wheelchair).
 Types of Harassment in Addition to
Workplace Sexual Harassment (continued)
Types of Harassment
Attractiveness harassment. Harassment
directed at people low in attractiveness,
often used against persons because of
their weight or their lack of interpersonal
popularity or physical attractiveness.
Citizenship harassment. Harassment
based on a person’s citizenship, generally
directed against a person who is not a
citizen.
Veteran harassment. Harassment based
on a person’s veteran status, used both
against those who are veterans and those
who aren’t.
Examples
Using derogatory names, especially
adjectives that highlight, for example,
overweight; excluding people from
gatherings because they’re not very
attractive or popular.
Denying financial loans or medical
benefits; using derogatory names.
Using derogatory names for veterans
that refer to wartime actions; using
offensive names for those who have
avoided military service.
VIEWPOINTS
Harassment on Campus
Misuses of Power and Influence

Bullying
Types of Bullying
Cyberbullying
Dealing with Bullying
VIEWPOINTS
Cyberbullying
Misuses of Power and Influence

Power Plays
Three types of responses
Ignore it
Neutralize it
Cooperate
Misuses of Power and Influence

Types of Power Plays

Nobody Upstairs
You Owe Me
Yougottobekidding
Metaphor
Thought Stoppers
Relationship Stages
LO 9.3 Stages of relational development

Contact
Involvement
Intimacy
Deterioration
Repair
Dissolution
VIEWPOINTS
Parasocial
Relationships
 A Six-Stage
Model of
Relationships
VIEWPOINTS
Culture and Sexual Relationships
Relationship Stages

Movement among the Stages

Stage Movement
Turning Points
The Relationship License
VIEWPOINTS
Negative Turning Points
Relationship Theories

Attraction Theory
Similarity
Proximity
Reinforcement
Physical Attractiveness and Personality
Socioeconomic and Educational Status
Reciprocity of Liking
VIEWPOINTS
Online Relationships
Relationship Theories

Relationship Rules Theory

Friendship Rules
Romantic Rules
Family Rules
Workplace Rules
Relationship Theories

Relationship Dialectics Theory

Closedness and openness
Autonomy and connection
Novelty and predictability
Relationship Theories

Social Penetration Theory

Breadth of a relationship
Depth of a relationship
Social Exchange Theory
Rewards
Costs
Profit
Models of Social Penetration
Relationship Theories

Equity Theory
Ratio of rewards relative to costs is approximately
equal to your partner’s
Politeness Theory
Acknowledges positive and negative face needs of
the other
Relationship Communication
LO 9.4 Interpersonal communication skill & strategies for maintaining
relationships..

Communicating in Developing Relationships

Be nice
Communicate
Be open
Give assurances
Share joint activities
Be positive
Focus on improving yourself
Be empathic
VIEWPOINTS
VIEWPOINTS
Meeting Online
Relationship Communication

Communicating in Deteriorating Relationships

Communication Patterns
Withdrawal
Decline in self-disclosure
Deception
Positive and negative messages
Relationship Communication

Communicating in Deteriorating Relationships

(continued)
Strategies of Disengagement
Positive tone
Negative identity management
Justification
De-escalation
Relationship Communication

Communicating in Deteriorating Relationships

(continued)
Dealing with a Breakup
Break the loneliness-depression cycle
Take time out
Bolster your self-esteem
Remove or avoid uncomfortable relationship symbols
Become mindful of your own relationship patterns
Relationship Communication

Communicating in Relationship Repair

Interpersonal Repair
Recognize the Problem
Engage in Productive Communication and Conflict Resolution
Pose Possible Solutions
Affirm Each Other
Integrate Solutions into Normal Behavior
Risk
Intrapersonal Repair
The Relationship Repair Wheel
The Stimulus-Response View of
Relationship Problems
The Circular
View of
Relationship
Problems