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  • Carey Feedback 5 - 11 - 23

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    molars1
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    The document provides advice for writing stories and descriptions in greater detail. It suggests focusing on senses, describing one or two characters in a crowd, weather, trees, and following what interests you. An example plan is given for a story about eyes meeting a shoplifter involving setup, a tense moment, a brief question, a chase, and an interesting ending. A second example story involves a dog helping a boy cross a river by scaring away an alligator they realize is on the log they used as a bridge.

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    Carey Feedback 5_11_23 (2)

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    The document provides advice for writing stories and descriptions in greater detail. It suggests focusing on senses, describing one or two characters in a crowd, weather, trees, and following what interests you. An example plan is given for a story about eyes meeting a shoplifter involving setup, a tense moment, a brief question, a chase, and an interesting ending. A second example story involves a dog helping a boy cross a river by scaring away an alligator they realize is on the log they used as a bridge.

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    © All Rights Reserved
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    3 views2 pages

    Carey Feedback 5 - 11 - 23

    Uploaded by

    molars1
    The document provides advice for writing stories and descriptions in greater detail. It suggests focusing on senses, describing one or two characters in a crowd, weather, trees, and following what interests you. An example plan is given for a story about eyes meeting a shoplifter involving setup, a tense moment, a brief question, a chase, and an interesting ending. A second example story involves a dog helping a boy cross a river by scaring away an alligator they realize is on the log they used as a bridge.

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    of 2

    Carey Feedback 7/11/23

    Key Advice: If you're stuck knowing what to plan or what to write. Be sure to write on
    the parts of your story or description in far greater detail.

    Key Description Tips in Addition to Teacher Advice:

    - Using all the senses.

    - I like to focus on one or two people if there is a crowd. (Maybe describe what they do for a
    paragraph before they disappear)

    - Weather.

    - Trees.

    - ALWAYS FOLLOW WHAT YOUR MIND THINKS IS INTERESTING TO FOCUS ON.

    - If you want a fun opening do 'In Media Res' - start your story in the middle of the action.

    Example 'Essay' Plan: 'Eyes Meet a Shoplifter'


    1st : Paragraph: Setup to eyes meeting. Make it fun.

    2nd Paragraph: Describing the 10 seconds after where nobody moves.

    3rd Paragraph: Very brief question with him

    4th Paragraph: after you say something he runs

    5th Paragraph: Describing the chace

    6th: He gets away.

    7th: Police at shop, and interesting ending?


    Example Story: ' Write A Story with Two Characters, A River and A Dog'

    Para 1: Thinking about the river. Debating crossing it.

    Para 2: Deciding to cross.

    Para 3: Placing something that looks like a log over the river.

    Para 4: Realisation moment, log is actually alligator. DUH DUH!!!

    Para 5: One boy about to be eaten looks at dog, and has flashback to when they first met.

    Para 6: Dog bravely scares alligator away

    Para 7: People find tribeswoman help cross. Happy ending.

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