The professors given circumstances
What he say
‘I’m the professor me. I’m not
really a professor, I’m just a
nosy bastard who wants to try
every thing’
The professor was never a
‘professor’, he just used it as an
excuse to find a job for himself
‘when I got made redundant’
He had a former job in the
textile industry before doing his
study
‘I decided to do an
anthropological study of ‘road’
he created himself a job out of
nothing as a way of maintaining
purpose in his life
‘I moved in the end house here’
He was forced to move into
road as there was nowhere else
he could afford
‘All I did was go down’
His life never got better once he
moved, despite the change he
couldn’t get himself back on his
feet
‘I lost me wife, me family, half
me stomach, everything’
he turned to alcohol and weed,
and that combined with his
obsession over the study drove
his family away from him out of
safety
‘now all I got is this tape, and
this box full of all me records,
all I could write really’
This is what the professor
spends his time doing, in order
to distract himself from how
depressing his life has gotten,
by pretending he is a normal
member of society having a 9
What others say
Lane: ‘you morbid bastard’
People see him as explotative
and depressing, but hide it
through acting like they’re
joking
‘she said she want much and
come to that neither was I’
People know of the professors
tricks, and they know how little
he is truly worth
Stage directions
‘glasses crooked and falling off,
scruffy old clothes.’
He has tricked himself into the
depressed genius mindset
‘He carries a long cardboard
box under his arm full of
papers’
He has attachment issues with
his work, and always feels he
needs it just in case
‘and an old, little, battered,
portable cassette tape
recorder’
Again, always looking to exploit
Professor speedily wobbles
over, stooping almost sitting on
the box
He drunk, and very shocked at
his work being damaged, but
also wants to look cool in case
he can pay for sex with chantal
He follows, dragging his
cardboard box by its loose
string
He’s a bit childlike, possible
brain damage from alcohol
‘the professor hurriedly
retrieves it’
He doesn’t want people to take
advantage of him more than he
needs to, and truly believes he
is running a business
 Skullery’s given circumstances
What he says What others say Stage directions
Wid our night as usual we’s all getin They run off squealing and laughing Scullery is there on stage on the
read and turning out for a drink floor to greet the audience as they
Carol: fuck off scullery! come in
THIS IS OUR ROAD! Carol: your fly’s full of fleas! The flame moves across to
illuminate a mans face. He holds the
match there till it goes out
Don’t feel awkward with us Dor and lane: SKULLERY! Scullery enters with a bottle
Let’s shove off down’t road and find He nods to someone in the
out! Pg 11 audience, offers a drink to another
This is my domain He blows a kiss after them, winks
then drinks
I’m in an out everywhere here, all
about
There’s everything you needs
What a fuckin place tough
Come an taste me
You cant escape
All of life is chucked here
Nature is above us
I feel full, I feel full and cocked and
Ill tell you what, stick wi me tonight
(to brink) hiyah lad
Have you got a ciggy lad?
That lovely smell of the night, my
favorite… gets me high as a kite
(to eddie) well save some birds for
me
I feel randy me now you know
Doreen. Lane. Where you off?
What a view!
Anyways get stuck in girls wherever No way , ive just scrubbed my nails
you want
She jumps on him, they kiss
Lane: where’d you get that devil
kiss?
You remind me of a famous star but Scullery draws on his fag pg. 21
I cant think of his name
You are sex mad
You can come up after if you want.
When he’s gpne out
Also have a wash He screws up the piece of paper and
drops it down his pants
Scullery looks up to one of the
windows above him. It has sacking
hanging and looks deserted
I’ve been meaning to give it a
ransacking, see if there’s any
coppers to be made. You never
know
(to Brenda) Where’s that juicy
daughter of yours?
Some ladies
They’re no good without a jesus
A musical box!... im having that
I though there was no one living
there
Its wrong its all fucking wrong…you
fucking bastards!
That’s me! That’s me!
Come on one at a time! I walk tall
You’ve got to clear the system once
in a while an’t you?
(to blowpipe)
Im older than you think. Ha. Pg. 37
I was just thinking there. How do we
go about building a better future ofr
our kiddies?
I’ve had a long life, some of it rough
skin , some of it smooth
But on the ‘hole’, ive always gone
down
What else can say really but bless
the dark and all who scrape in her
You can give us a lift for that!
Yeearrr
This is road for you. This is road
I’s have to see girly
I’ll just step back into the dark
Ill ha’ a last fag and a last sup then ill
go whome
Brenda: That night id felt like id
been shot
He shoves it in his special pocked
Looks out into the audience in
disbelief
Scullery kicks a dustbin flying
Scullery rips off his coat
Goes and stands facing the wall.
Silence. Then he turns to face the
audience and bursts out laughing
Scullery is tidying himself up. He’s
combing his hair in a small mirror
The mike makes scullery feel like a
night-club host
He laughs, laughing uproariously as
they exit
Comes on pissed and staggering 56
He kisses him. He kisses the bottle
Suddenly scullery enters pushing a
shopping trolley at mad speed
across the stage Pg. 61
Scullery is enjoying this. He sits in
the trolley to watch
Scullery is just sliding his back down
the wall to sit 81
He takes a bottle out of his pocket,
puts it to his mouth, nothing in it.
He turns it upside down, empty. He
lets his head flop forward
Is preparing to sleep where he is