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ENN1504/201/2/2022

Tutorial Letter 201/2/2022

Practising Workplace English

ENN1504

Semester 1

Department of English Studies

This tutorial letter contains ASSIGNMENT 01 FEEDBACK.

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Dear Student

In this tutorial letter, we provide information related to Assignment 01.

Some of your responses in Assignment 01 were creative and meaningful, with emphasis on relevant
content, correct structure, appropriate style, register and language usage. You showed a fair level of
understanding of how to write a memorandum with its correct structure using the register. Some of
your answers showed a sound understanding of how to structure minutes of a meeting, while some
failed to follow the instructions while answering question 2. Some responses did not meet these
criteria. However, we believe that you will find the following comments and model answers useful in
preparing for the examination. Please note that the model answers are by no means definitive solutions
to the assignment questions, but they provide guidelines and examples of answers. Furthermore, each
response was marked on its merit, provided it consistently fulfilled the required criteria for workplace
writing correspondence.

QUESTION 1: WRITING SKILLS IN WORKPLACE CORRESPONDENCE

Please read the following guidelines before attempting to answer this assignment:

The purpose of this question was to assess your ability to write a memorandum. This required you to
do the necessary preparatory reading so that you could answer the question adequately. You needed
to ask yourself whether the recipients of the memorandum would understand the essence of the
document, and its purpose and note important information about the event. You should have worked
through Unit 1 in the Study Guide and Learning Unit 1 in the Workbook before attempting to answer
the question.

In question 1, you were assessed in terms of content, context, structure, style, register, language
accuracy, editing and proofreading. In preparation for the exam, you may need to do some extensive
reading to answer this question if you did not perform well. For instance, you may have not been
familiar with memorandum at a workplace before enrolling for this module; therefore, you may need
to familiarise yourself with this context to fully understand what needs to be included in a
memorandum and to be able to produce the relevant content logically and comprehensively in your
answer sheet.

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BACKGROUND

You are the CEO of Thabang Hot Foods Restaurant in Zondi. You recently received a formal
invitation from Professor Theledi Bones, Head of the Food and Science Department at the University
of Cupid to their next food demonstrations at the university. You then requested Ms Lesedi Tladi,
your administrator to write a memorandum to staff members to inform them about the event. The
document should include information obtained from Professor Bones about the food demonstration
and request the staff members to choose five people to go and learn about the importance and the
process of scientific food production.

INSTRUCTIONS
Write a memorandum to the Thabang Hot Foods Restaurant staff and include information about how
the event will benefit the restaurant, the date for the event, time, venue and transport arrangements
for participating staff members.
In your memorandum, you should:
• Pay attention to the format of the memorandum.
• Include relevant information.
• Use correct grammar and sentence structure to establish the appropriate style and register for
the audience and purpose.
• Write well-structured paragraphs that are concise, coherent and logically sequenced.
• The length of your answer should not exceed one page.

SUB-TOTAL: 50 MARKS

POSSIBLE ANSWER

FROM : Ms Lesedi Tladi

Administrator: Thabang Hot Foods Restaurant

TO: All staff members

DATE: 01 May 2022

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SUBJECT: UNIVERSITY OF CUPID FOOD AND SCIENCE DEPARTMENT: FOOD


DEMONSTRATIONS

The Management of Thabang Hot Foods Restaurant would like to thank the supervisors and staff
members of this restaurant for their devotion, hard work and hospitable environment which our
customers receive and enjoy from the restaurant. We can only provide such outstanding customer
service and tasteful food when we regularly attend courses and update our food preparation and
customer serving skills.

We have recently received an invitation from Professor Theledi Bones, Head of the Food and Science
Department at Cupid University, to attend their upcoming food demonstrations event. Participants
will learn about food preparation as well as the importance and the process of scientific food
production.

We have been requested to send five representatives from our restaurant. Therefore, you are requested
to work together with the supervisors and nominate five staff members to represent us at the event.
Demonstrations will be held on Friday, 15 May 2022, at the Food and Science Departmental cooking
arena. The event will start at 9:00 until 16:00. Transport will be available to pick up our
representatives at 7:30 from the main gate. Please remember to bring your tablets with, to record the
information and demonstrations.

Our restaurant will benefit a lot from this event. We look forward to learning from your lessons and
experiences.

Lesedi Tladi
Lesedi Tladi
Administrator: Thabang Hot Foods Restaurant

Feedback for question 1

For this question, you were assessed in terms of content, context, structure, style, register, language
accuracy, editing and proofreading. The ability to write a memorandum to the Thabang Hot Foods
Restaurant staff. You needed to be direct and clear so that the members of staff would understand the
content of your memorandum and its purpose. Refer to pages 6-8 of your Study Guide, which
provides general guidelines on the use of appropriate language: grammar, style and register.

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Due consideration was also given to responses that adopted a direct style with well-structured
paragraphs, correct grammar and sentence structures with a formal register. In your memorandum,
you were required to do the following:
• Pay attention to the format of the memorandum.
• Include relevant information.
• Use correct grammar and sentence structure to establish the appropriate style and register
for the audience and purpose.
• Your memorandum was supposed to have well-structured clearly defined paragraphs that
are concise, coherent and logically sequenced.

In addition, it was also important for you as the writer of the memorandum to include all the important
information about how the event will benefit the restaurant, the date for the event, time, venue and
transport arrangements for all those staff members who will be participating.

Please note some of the challenges that some of the students experienced in an attempt to present
an appropriate memorandum:

• Instructions not read with understanding.


• Inappropriate names of the sender and receiver(s).
• Failure to follow appropriate format of writing a memorandum.

• Inappropriate subject line.

• Poorly presented introductory paragraph.

• Information not presented in the formal manner.


• Inaccurate presentation of content.
• Incomplete information presented.

• Inappropriate complementary close


• Poor presentation – lack of correctness, completeness, coherence, conciseness, and clarity.

In addition, there should have been some evidence that the memorandum had been edited and
proofread before the submission of the final answer.

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QUESTION 2: MINUTES OF A MEETING

BACKGROUND
Mveledzo Comprehensive College stakeholders are holding a meeting to discuss strategies to instill
discipline because of the several challenges such as high failure rate, absenteeism, bunking of classes,
and gangsterism taking place at the school. As the Secretary of the School Governing Body, you are
requested to take minutes of the meeting.

INSTRUCTIONS
Below is a transcript (exact words written down) of what was said under the item agenda of this
meeting presented in the form of a dialogue. As the Secretary of the School Governing Body, write
minutes of this discussion, which covers only ONE agenda item: 3.1 Strategies to instill discipline
at Mveledzo Comprehensive College. This means that the complete format for minutes is not
required. Remember that in taking minutes, we carefully select and summarise information, and
make changes to style and grammar. Note that you should not record what each person said in turn.
You should use the linear format of minutes (in sentences and paragraphs).

TRANSCRIPT

Ms Mazibuko (Chair): It’s my pleasure to welcome you to our first annual general
meeting for the first term. Without any waste of time, may I
request Ms Moloi, to give us a brief report of 2021 end of the
year results?

Ms Moloi: Thank you Chair. The 2021 results for the entire school don’t
make us proud. The school performance is below the par. The
results are as follows; the pass percentage for Grades 8 and 9 is
50%, Grade 10 is 45%, and grade 11 is 40%. Finally, the pass
percentage of our matric class didn’t make us feel proud, they
only managed to obtain 35%. This led the school to be in the
last position in the Masifunde circuit.

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Ms Mazibuko: Now let’s move to our next agenda item, strategies of instilling
discipline in the school. Mr Likhuleni will give a brief
background on this issue.

Mr Likhuleni: It goes without saying that things are out of hand in this school.
The school is dysfunctional because of these ill-disciplined
learners. There is a high rate of absenteeism and bunking of
classes in this school. Some boys are engaged in gangsterism
activities which result in endless fights during school hours. All
these things make our school to be an unconducive
environment for effective teaching and learning. To be honest
with you, your children are rude and disrespectful to their
teachers.

Ms Delport: I disagree with you, sir. You and your teachers are the cause of
all these problems. Your teachers don’t attend classes and they
always arrive late at school. There are rumours going around
here that some male teachers are in love with our school girls.
How do you expect proper teaching and learning to take place
under such circumstances?

Ms Ndabeni: Ms Delport, you are just making unrealistic assumptions about


these matters. If I may ask, do you have any evidence of what
you are saying? Our children are ill-disciplined and they must
be corrected. I mean thrashing them!!!

Ntando Corporal punishment must be abolished in our school. I regard


corporal punishment as one way or another form of violence
against children. My colleagues let’s resort to other
mechanisms to curb this unacceptable behavior of our children.

Ms Moloi: We need to make well-informed decisions in our discussions.


We can’t afford to be misled by these spoiled brats. These
children must be thrashed! The Bible clearly indicates that you
spare the rod and spoil the child.

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Mr Sondlana: In this day and age, this is absolutely uncalled for! Corporal
punishment escalates into a serious physical assault. We don’t
want to build a violent society. The Bill of Rights encourages
the development of effective and positive disciplining of
children.

Reverend Phaswana: You’re quite right Mr Sondlana. In my language, there is an


idiom that says; "nhonga a yi aki muti,” meaning that a family
cannot be built by using a stick. Corporal punishment will never
create an environment that is conducive to teaching and
learning. I suggest that detention must be applied to all ill-
disciplined children. Moreover, it is better to motivate children
by using kind and influential words to correct them. In
instances that will compel us to punish these children, they will
be expected to attend extra lessons, do community work such
as cleaning the schoolyard and local clinics under the
supervision of teachers.

Mr Likhuleni Do you think these suggestions will work at this school? I


sincerely doubt.

Ntando: I believe this will work in this school. A school is not a prison,
but a place to learn!

Mr Sondlana: My colleagues, we need to change with times and abolish


corporal punishment in our school. Let me add my suggestion
by saying that teachers in our society must learn the importance
of kindness, respect, and sympathy towards children as these
values are the basis to develop a healthy relationship with the
younger generation.

Ms Mazibuko Reverend Phaswana, do you want to say something before we


come to the end of this discussion?

Reverend Phaswana: Yes, I do have something to say. I don’t like corporal


punishment because I believe that violence begets violence. A

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good relationship between teachers and students should be


based on love and respect than aversion.

Ms Mazibuko I heard two sides being argued for and against. Now, let’s vote!
Those in favour of corporal punishment, raise your hands!
Fifteen people voted in favour of corporal punishment. Now,
those who want corporal punishment to be abolished, please
raise your hands! This is amazing, thirty people are in favour of
the abolishment of corporal punishment. Are there any
objections?

All: There is none, chair!

Ms Mazibuko: Do you agree that we adopt the proposed suggestions as part of


the school policy? Any seconder?

Ms Ndabeni: I second the proposed suggestions.

Ms Mazibuko: Thank you all for your brilliant ideas that made this meeting to
be a success. This meeting is adjourned.

SUB-TOTAL: 50 MARKS

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POSSIBLE ANSWER

MINUTES OF A MEETING

3.1 STRATEGIES TO INSTILL DISCIPLINE AT MVELEDZO COMPREHENSIVE COLLEGE

Ms Mazibuko welcomed all members present at their first annual general meeting. She then requested
Mr Likhuleni to provide background information about strategies to instill discipline at the school.
In his report, Mr Likhuleni mentioned that the school was dysfunctional because of ill-disciplined
learners. He further pointed out that there was a high rate of absenteeism and bunking of classes and
some boys were involved in gangsterism activities leading to constant fights during school hours.

Due to this ill-disciplined behaviour in the school, Ms Ndabeni proposed that the children should be
punished to correct them. Her suggestion was supported by Ms Moloi. However, the idea of corporal
punishment was refuted by Ntando because the act was considered another form of violence. The
objection to corporal punishment was supported by Mr Sondlana citing that it would escalate into
physical assault and might lead to building a violent society.

In contrast with corporal punishment, Reverend Phaswana suggested that detention should be applied
to all ill-disciplined children. Moreover, children should be motivated by using kind and influential
words to correct them. Concerning punitive measures, it was mentioned that learners would be
compelled to attend extra lessons and do community work such as cleaning the schoolyard and local
clinics under the supervision of their teachers. In addition, teachers should learn the importance of
being kind, respectful, and sympathetic towards children to develop a healthy relationship with the
younger generations.

To conclude, the two ideas were contested, and the matter was put to a vote. Thirty people voted in
favour of the abolishment of corporal punishment and the matter was accepted without any objection.
Finally, Ms Mazibuko suggested that they adopt the proposed suggestions to be included in the school
policy. Ms Ndabeni seconded the proposal.

GRAND TOTAL: 100 MARKS

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Feedback for question 2

In Question 2, you were expected to record the minutes of only one agenda item. Therefore, your
competencies in the following were assessed:
• Selection of relevant factual information (content).
• Correct and consistent formatting (structure).
• Use of formal business language and reported speech (style and register).
• Correct grammatical structures (correct tenses, spelling, punctuation, sentence structure).

Whilst we received many responses that reflected a sound understanding of the key criteria in
recording minutes accurately, we would like to draw your attention to the following challenges a few
students experienced:

• Failure to adhere to the specific instructions given in the question.


• Inability to distinguish between relevant and irrelevant information from the meeting
discussions.
• Some important points were left out and the utterances made to support some arguments were
not supposed to be included in the minutes.
• Inability to summarise key discussion areas.
• The misconception that the use of reported speech using the actual transcript constitutes the
minutes.
• Inability to record minutes of the meeting in the past tense.
• Inclusion of irrelevant agenda items in the minutes of the meeting such as Welcome,
Attendance, and Apologies.
• Inconsistencies in the structure of the minutes of the meeting.
• Exclusion of names of proposers and seconders.
• Inaccurate recording of the resolutions taken in the segment of the meeting.
• Poor presentation-lack of correctness, completeness, coherence, conciseness and clarity.

Once again, there should have been some evidence that the minutes of the meeting was edited and
proofread before submission of the assignment

The ENN1504 team wishes you all the best in your exams!

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