Compare the two approaches.

Why do different communities choose different

upbringing styles?

We sacrifice ourselves for our children. We are putting all our energy and attention
into aiming for perfection. However, this is not the best approach. Being a good parent
does not have to be about being the best.
Michele Hutchison talks about Holland approach to raising children that is different
from what people in the UK and US are experiencing.
Saying goes: “Happy parents usually have happy kids”. By the way, according to one
research Dutch children are the happiest in the world.
Dutch parents see their children as individuals rather than extensions of themselves.
Dutch kids relish in relatively unlimited freedom.
Five key features of the Dutch approach to family life:
- Unsupervised outdoor play;
- Kids bike in the rain (it makes them more resilient);
- More family time together;
- More play, less homework;
- Where do parents come from? (be open with your children and talk with them about
sex).
EXTRA TIP – typical Dutch breakfast (it is more important to go to school on a full
stomach so Dutch children eat bread with chocolate sprinkles).
Do less, stress less. Let your children make mistakes. Do not protect children from risk,
but prepare them to face the world as it is.
4 Stages of Raising Children According to Tibetan Wisdom are different from the
Dutch approach. They are:
- Stage 1: before the age of 5.
According to the Tibetan upbringing system, during this period parents should talk to
the child as if they are "a king or queen."
- Stage 2: from 5 to 10 years old.
During this period, parents should talk to their children as if they are "a slave."
- Stage 3: from 10 to 15 years old.
From age 10 to 15, it is important to talk to the child as if you are equal.
- Stage 4: from age 15 and older.
By this time, the personality of the child is fully formed. Now it is important to be
respectful.
Comparing these two approaches, I can say that they have the same goal – to make
children independent, self-sufficient, and respectful. However, their methods are
different. From age 10 to 15, it is important to talk to the child as if you are equal
according to Tibetan Wisdom. Dutch approach says that Dutch parents see their
children as individuals and they treat them equally as individuals from their birth.
Besides, according to the Tibetan upbringing system, before the age of 5, parents
should talk to the child as if they are "a king or queen", and from 5 to 10 years old,
parents should talk to their children as if they are "a slave". The Dutch approach does
not have such rules. Parents give children a lot of freedom and do not sacrifice
themselves for their children.
To sum up, different communities choose different upbringing styles because they live
in different countries with unique cultures and beliefs. Their mentalities can be
different as well as approaches to raising children. Families, as social groups are
influenced by the context around them and family relationships and parent-child
interactions, are each influenced by cultural context.