Shrek x obama

Posted originally on the Archive of Our Own at http://archiveofourown.org/works/36343786.

Rating: General Audiences

Archive Warning: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Category: M/M
Fandom: Shrek (Movies)
Relationships: Barack Obama/Shrek (Shrek), Barry Benson (Bee Movie)/Shrek (Shrek),
The Grinch/Tony the Tiger (Kellogg's), Floorinsect1/floorinsect2
Characters: Shrek (Shrek), Barack Obama, Tony the Tiger (Kellogg's), The Grinch,
Barry Benson (Bee Movie), Sans?
Additional Tags: Use to use Wattpad, I’m so boring. Lol, cheating (kinda), shrek feels
guilt, A child is in this fic…but not for long!, Slight character death but
he wasn’t important anyways, yandere but not romanticized and will
actually be punished at some point idk, this book isn’t finished yet but it
will be at some point ;), Not so epic fight on a tall cvs building, author
cannot write fight scenes correctly, author is mentally stable (I think),
author owns a long furby (his name is pepito cotton candy jr),
Kidnapping?, Tony the Tiger x the grinch but it’s only for a holiday
special, I know a friend is reading this and if so hii!!!, No beta we die
like Shreks child, No smut (sorry dudes but I feel uncomfortable writing
smut), cussing in Spanish, bad words :(, F l o o r insect, Established
Relationship, Oh wow god this is kinda going off the rails help
Language: English
Stats: Published: 2022-01-10 Updated: 2024-03-22 Words: 4,389 Chapters:
15/?
 Shrek x obama
by beetsaregood2323

Summary

Shrek lives through a strange life with his husband

(Btw this is a joke fic. If it is wrong to write Shrek x Obama I will change Obama’s name
since he really doesn’t share anything personality wise with the person, the only thing they
share is a name.)

Notes

In the beninging
 Chapter 1

One upon a time. There was shrek and Obama and they loved each other very much. Way to
much actually. One day they decided to have children. So they did the unthinkable, they
adopted a child. They named the child tomato bisque jr hellfire. They lived a normal life until
suddenly!1!1!1! Their child decided to adopt a long furby. They were terrified!111!11!!!! The
long furby then swiftly killed them.

Their house burned down

The end :]
 Heyyyyy.
Chapter Summary

They didn’t die 👹👹👹👹

They didn’t actually die it was all an illusion 👹👹🤨🥩🤨

They came (ha) back and found and captured the long furby.

They made a bbq with it

It was yummy

“Yum” said Obama

“You know what else is yum?”
Said shrek
“What?”

🤨
“My phat onions”
“ ”
 Hell..,o
Chapter Summary

🔥🔥🔥😀😀😀🍭🍭🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🙇🙇🤨🤨🤨💔💔💔💔
Obama goes to jail for a crime against furby kind and tax evasion like a girl boss 👹👹

Obama pov:

I put my very short dark dark brown hair into a messy bun as I am confiscated by the police.
Apariently it’s a crime to cook and eat long furbys for teh reason that they are greatly
indangered bc they are running out of the face plates for em. I walk over to the police car liek
a girl boss with shrek cryiiiing in the background. When suddenly!!!

THE LONG FURBY AWAKENS AND EATS THE POLICE!!!!!

Jk

I go to jail and get bailed out by my shrexy husband

Btw. We threw our child in some kind of place for kids. We won’t see em for a long time ;]
 Hell on earth
Chapter Summary

Mmm phat onions. Also onion pizza is used here <3

Chapter Notes

Suffer

I wake up near my shrexy husbando. I than remember something, OUR SON!!!

Turns out our son fucking died. Whoops!!

Don’t ask how

;)

Anywho i cooked some onion pizza for my husband and me.

Totally not a hint on how our son died

Ehe! 🍭🎶

;)
 The pizza incident
Chapter Summary

Thank you too the wonderful person who gave me this idea

Shreks point of view:

I logged off the computer with a brisk pace as I shoved my green shoes on my ogre self. I put
my dark mud jacket on and smoothed my non exsistant hair, earlier that morning I got an
advert too a wonderful little pizza place and I thought that it would be a nice way to have a
day out with my wonderful boyfriend (especially since our son won’t be bothering us
anymore ;) )

I looked in the mirror again, my mud brown eyes piercing my own soul. I did some finger
guns at the mirror and brushed my teeth with bug toothpaste, I wanted to look and smell
wonderful tonight.

A few moments later….

I opened the car door for Obama and we finally walked through the door of the wonderful
pizza place, THERE WERE CHILDREN E V E R Y W H E R E thankfully a weird looking
employee took them away (we never saw them again). We ordered some pineapple pizza and
a salad on the side when my eyes caught a black and yellow figure.

He had an hour glass body and I wish I were the Sand, his black buzz cut grazed my gaze as I
felt time go slower.

I was cut out of my thought as Obama told me he was going to the restroom to take a shit.

I knew it was wrong but I couldn’t stop myself from walking over to that amazing looking
bee, as soon as I stood before him there was an awkward silence before he broke it

“Hello I’m berry b benson, oh Lordy lord you are one shrexy person…uh…ya like jazz?” He
says putting a hand through his hair, scratching his neck

Before I could even think on what to say I threw out a weak “uh…yeah..”
We stood there for an awkward second

And then he pushed me to the wall and k-

No
No no no

I have a boyfriend

This isn’t okay

I’m a horrible person if I let him continue kissing me

So I pushed him off and went back to my table, is this all my fault? Isn’t this what I wanted??
So why did I feel so horrible.

It’s all my fault.

I felt guilty as Obama walked to the table looking extra relieved, we ate the pizza and then
left.

“Hey shrek…you okay? You haven’t even touched your child pizza”

“Shrek you look traumatized”

“Why are you crying?”

“It’s nothing, Im just not hungry I ate some extra onions” I forced a laugh

He laughed too

I feel so guilty

Too guilty

How could I do such a thing

I am horrible

Just horrible.

He doesn’t deserve me.

 A mystery worth solving.
Chapter Summary

Special thanks to ‘Skitzo’ for the idea

They will also be the detective in this chapter

3rd person pov.

It was a rainy day, word has gone around at the office of the murder of famous movie star
Barry b benson (and five other kids) detective:S, was hot on the case.

Shrek sat at the couch feeling as horrible as ever as the local news played in the background

“Barry b benson was last seen at the pizza place near the salad bar looking all upset when a
silhouette of a bald man peeked through the footage the cameras soon cut to black. Locals say
he must’ve stung somebody . Join us next time on the news for more details on the case, this
is your local news and this is beet signing off.”

Shrek wondered who the mysterious ‘beet’ character is..they sound boring, but what took
shreks attention more is the fact that the bee that just flirted with him yesterday was now
dead.

Obama walked out of the bathroom looking a bit more shooken up, as if he felt as if he was
guilty.

Shreks glossy mud brown eyes bathed in the tv light looked up, his expression more
miserable than usual.

Shrek put his dark mud coat on and have a kiss to his boyfriend, both in silent agreement that
they should pay respects to the use to be star, shrek got into the car drove off to the memorial.

There were dozens of flowers and candle, shrek thought of how greatful he was to have made
a homemade ear wax candle, he placed down the candle and lit it.
His eyes now bathed in a light yellow started to water, soon he started to cry.

No matter how much he cried he could never bring back Barry b benson

He knew what he did was wrong, but maybe if he just let Barry kiss him he would still be
alive now.

It’s all shreks fault.

He drove home silently, unaware that Barry didn’t sting anyone

That silhouette

That bald hair

The white clothing

The bleach found at the scene

It

Was

All

Mr

Clean

“I’ll soon have you shrek…all to myself..”

He said at his shrine, his eyes bathed in the red of the firey candles
They shined brighter as his insane eyes looked up

“No matter what.”

 “It was never really for the love”
Chapter Summary

Thank you to the wonderful person who gave me inspo. Although your idea may be
changed up a bit it really inspired me to finally get up and write another chapter <3

Chapter Notes

Sorry for being away. I don’t really have an excuse I just kinda didn’t have any ideas

Shrek pulled himself out of bed for the 10th time this miserable week, he found himself
loathing waking up each day for the reason that he always felt eyes piercing his back but
nobody ever being there.

Obama was always the first one awake, he rushed into their shared bedroom and plopped a
piece of mail on the bed. “Oh great…bills…I thought we already payed them off a day
ago…” the Scottish one mumbled. “Bro stfu it’s not even bills it comes from a different
address” “well let’s just open it I guess”

The green ogre looking man tears open the paper to see a strange note
“Come to the nearest tallest cvs rooftop, I have some answers to why you feel eyes on your
back- s” the ogre stared with boredom glazing his dead looking eyes “I guess we finally have
something to do today…”

A green super car pulls up to a crappy long cvs longer than the king long furby for scale.
They walked around the tall cvs until they find a comically large arrow with neon lights
pointing to a latter , “this must be where we go I honestly don’t even know why we are here
like- do we even know somebody with an s in their name?!?” They climbed the latter to be
met with a thin plank of wood going up to a larger cvs “I think I’ve seen this on a roblox
level before” “shut up this is why I want a divorce” the tight rope walked up the plank and
kinda stood there like two dumb idiots

They heard walking behind them when suddenly shrek was tapped on the shoulder, he turned
around…. And got slam punched in the fucking face! A weird bald man with bleach in hands
and some other dude who looked like he just walked out of a fucking holloween party started
trying to push a syringe into Os neck.
Mr clean delivered one punch after another basically smacking around shrek for some reason
bc why not? Shrek tried desperately to fight back and was actually doing well until s took o
by the collar and dangled him over the edge of the abnormally tall cvs building. “You either
come with us willingly or I drop your precious little Obama over the fucking cvs” “I’m sorry
dude but it’s so hard to take you seriously when you look like somebody tried to cosplay an
X-ray machine with crappy clothing” “ILL DO IT” “okay fine I’ll go with you guys…
smh…” o wasn’t dropped over the cvs building but instead was kicked to the side where he
immediately rag dolled and layed there. S took the syringe and handed it to mr clean and he
put it into shreks neck.

The world grew dark

And darker

As he drifted from his consciousness he heard mr clean say something “don’t worry your not
dying this is just sleeping medicine…also….it was never truly love, I know that for
sure….just…obsession…”
 In the dark.
Chapter Summary

….

Shrek woke up, his head pounding as he looked around the strange dark room he found
himself in. How did he get here? And where was Obama? Was the only thing going through
his mind at the moment

The two Newly made couples (s and mr clean) sauntered into the room until they were close
to the chair that shrek was tied to.

“So you’ve finally woken up hm? It’s been boring enough staring at your limp body, hell we
even thought we killed you!” Mr clean said in a strange but deep voice.

“I usually don’t aid in others suffering but you really impacted my one and only love here.”
Mr cleans supposed ‘love’ said.

“God what more do you want for me? I let you guys take me so what else do you plan?! As if
winning the fucking tumblr sexy man war wasn’t good enough for you! Let me go you
dumbasses I wanna go back home to my husband!!”

“Shut up. If you continue speaking like this to me and my boyfriend you will never see him
or the light of day ever again! You broke my boyfriends heart by never paying attention to
him you fucking cretin!”

Shrek flailed around in the chair trying to get out so he could smack them in their dumb
stupid faces but sadly he could not get out.

“Listen I’ll do whatever you want just….please let me go…”

“Then you shall do what we…I mean he wanted you to do”

“W-what is it..”

“Break up with Obama if you know what’s good for you.”

Rage Pierced shreks brown damp eyes as he knew that if he ever did escape he would be
making sure they were placed behind the cold bars of a police station.

“IM NEVER GONNA DIVORCE MY HUSBAND!”

“Oh but he wants to divorce you…we heard what he said when you guys were going to the
tall cvs.. he doesn’t love you anymore”

“NO ITS NOT TRUE…HE WAS JUST JOKING!!!….right..?”

“I doubt he was! He really looked like he meant it! And besides who would want to date an
ugly ogre like you! That’s why Fiona divorced you right?”

‘This dammed bitch knew everything about me huh ?!’ Shrek thought. ‘It can’t be true…
Obama loves me..he said he did..’

He kept thinking about what made Obama hate him so much.

“Oh but I love you shrek. I really do, nobody else in this world loves you except me! I will
never cheat like Fiona did! I’ll never leave like Obama is planning to do….” Mr clean spoke
his eyes gleaming in excitement but lies and deceit hiding behind his stupid facade.

Shrek was broken down to the point where he didn’t want to believe them but also he really
wanted to escape so he could talk to his husband about it later, until mr clean broke his
thoughts of ever seeing Obama again

“He killed your son y’know…” he lied

Although shrek didn’t show it, he truly cared about his son. One thing that shrek was too
dumb to think about was that Obama was there with him waiting until their son came back
from his pizza making classes.

Shrek seething in rage finally broke down and agreed to divorce Obama

“Now what do you want..”

“Date me instead now. I wasn’t really with the man you described as ‘a poorly dressed x ray
machine cosplay’. He agreed to help me win you over! Now come with me and stay with me
for eternity shrek!”
Mr clean said

Shrek didn’t know what to do

He doesn’t even know mr clean that well

But mr clean knew him better than shrek does

He’s just too overwhelmed

Going over all the things in his mind

But….

With a new view

He didn’t know that mr clean killed Barry and with the ‘news’ that his own husband killed
his son (the news is fake) he now saw everything in a new light; his husband killed Barry
because of jealousy.

With all the new stuff in his mind he knew what to say

“Fine..”

“Oh good! Now let me untie you from this chair!”

He untied him

“HAHA GET YOINKED BITCH!”

Shrek then fucking booked it out of there

He lied about the whole thing

He knew Obama still loved him

Besides one thing they didn’t consider

Nobody can agree in that little of time.

He grabbed the keys from mr clean and booked it out of the basement of the tall cvs that he
was held at.

Obama was waiting in the car and as soon as shrek ran out of the cvs they both zoomed out of
their and changed their adress.

(To be continued..)
 A holiday party with Tony the Tiger
Chapter Summary

Hey guys! Long time no see! Anyways I’ve not been busy but I have been
procrastinating when trying to write a new chapter so here’s some food for y’all to wait
for an actual cannon chapter (also a New Years chapter will be posted out on New
Year’s Eve during the earlier hours of that day unless I forget lol)
Anyways enough of my rambling let’s get on with the chapter!

Chapter Notes
See the end of the chapter for notes

POV: 3rd person.

It was the holiday party to kick off the holiday and on shreks guest list lots of familiar and
much famous names were on there, he invited all of his friends (and his husband but that’s
kinda a given tbh) he started decorating with festive furniture while Obama cooked the rest of
the snack for everyone.

There was a ding at the door and Shrek went to answer when he realized that he invited two
people who hated each other, they had just broken up and everyone knew it was messy they
never forgave each other and it was because the others heart was too closed off.

Shrek answered the door to find Tony the Tiger and the gift that he brought, he welcomed
him with open arms and showed him to the living room where he put the gift down near the
tree. A few hours later while tony helped Obama with the ginger bread house a knock was at
the door, when Shrek answered it he was met with a familiar man with green fur and an
impossibly small heart, it was The Grinch.

Things were awkward at first with the two of them still very much upset at each other but not
wanting to ruin this lovely Christmas party for the rest of their friends but how could they
both not want to tear each other apart while screaming and arguing. The Grinch loved silence
but if there’s one thing he knows it’s that Tony the Tiger doesn’t in fact like or keep things
silent.

“So…have you watched the World Cup yet..?” The Tiger asked

“I sadly have not..I’ve never liked sports anyways they are too noisy and really boring
anyways” the grinch responded
 Tony just glared at him with a blank expression and went back to sipping his hot cocoa
“ I see you are getting a new movie…a horror movie I think it is?” He pondered

“Oh yeah that movie…I was called into the studio when they pitched the design and I just
love how I’m going to be truly rotten.” Grinch responded

An awkward silence followed them both while they just looked at each other.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It was time to open the secret Santa gifts while everyone sat around the couches, shrek
handed his husband a gift and Obama gave shrek another gift, farquaad handed Fiona a
lovely handheld mirror in which she greatly gave him back a gift of a punch to the chest, he
everyone was handing gifts too everyone until there were only two left who hadn’t gotten any
gifts; Tony and Grinch.

“I guess this is for you..” the grinch sighed while handing the tiger a nicely wrapped gift box.

“Thank you! I’m gonna open it right now!” Tony happily ripped into the box and when he
opened it he saw a soccer jersey, a framer soccer jersey for his favorite team.

“You shouldn’t have! This is a really good gift!” Tony the Tiger gleefully said.

“Well I know you like soccer so I kinda had to give it to you..” Grinch said a bit flustered

“Well here’s your gift..I didn’t have time to wrap it as perfectly as you did to my gift but…
here you go” the tiger put the box gently into The Grinch’s hands.

“Is…is this a coffee machine..?” He questioned

“Yep..I know you don’t really have much energy half the ti-“ the tiger was cut off by The
Grinch hugging him tightly.

“Thank you for the gift..and I’m sorry for what I did way back then” The grinch sobbed into
the tigers fur.

There was a pause for a second, before Tony the Tiger finally knew what to do, he held him
closer and spoke

“It’s fine… it wasn’t anything you did I just didn’t feel like I was in the right..space to be in
anything serious…but I still love being your friend..” he said.

The party then went on to be the best party anybody’s ever went too and even when they all
went home The grinch and Tony the Tiger never stopped hanging out.

Chapter End Notes

Merry early Christmas or after Christmas if your reading this in later months! I tried
making this story longer then the ones I usually write bc I know I’m gonna end up
disappearing again! Once again thank you to all who read/ give kudos. Whenever I get
the email that I get a comment or hell ever a kudo my day lights up. Even if this is a
crackship I enjoy the fact that people like my stuff. Goodbye for now- beet :)
 Happy New Years!! 2023 New Years special
Chapter Summary

Thank you guys so much for supporting this fic. Expect a bit more chapters this year and
hey maybe everything will be okay this year, maybe I’ll feel better this year and maybe
you will too. Anyways you aren’t here to cry your here to cringe and laugh so sit back
relax and enjoy the book you lovely wonderful rotten people!

Chapter Notes
See the end of the chapter for notes

Third person pov:

The crew; shrek, Obama, the grinch, Tony the Tiger, farquaad, etc. all hung out at shreks
house for the New Years party.

To kick off the night they all rewatched the whole twilight saga and played through all the
sims series right up to the cash grab that is sims 4 like seriously what is up with ea sucking all
the money out of our pockets smh smh smh smh. They then all made really bad cake that
they just decided to throw on the floor for the yucky insects to much and crunch on but even
the insects wouldn’t touch the damn cake.

As the hour drew near the countdown would soon start but good thing they had a couple
hours before it turned midnight, Emo farquaad showed up late with his e girl and they started
holding hands in the corner (ew yucky I hate that I had to write premarital hand holding
yucky) shrek just gave them both the side eye while he and Obama played beer pong or
whatever u do at New Years party’s.

3 hours later

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
(Warning kissing scene yucky gross)

The countdown finally started and the tension rose until it finally started getting to the single
digits

3
 2

……..

They all screamed in unison

“ONE!!”

“HAPPY NEW YEARS!!!!”

Shrek turned to Obama and cupped Obama’s head in his big hands.
“Here’s to a new year with you, my lovely husband”

Shrek then closed the gap between them and then pulled away to go celebrate with his friends

They both glowed and after the party was over they watched the fireworks while other happy
families and people celebrated.

They both cuddled up to each other enjoying the others presence.

Happy New Years!

Here’s to another year of shrek posting!

Chapter End Notes

Happy 2023 guys! Can’t believe this fic got so much traction and I can’t believe I even
made it to the year 2023

I wish you all a good year and hopefully I post actual cannon content to the Obama x y/n
wattpad/ ao3 universe I got going on.

Also sorry for the fact that there is kissing in this chapter (gross ikr) but I felt like I
kinda had to include it lol

Here’s to another year of shrek posting

And many more years to shreks fanfic legacy.

 The wedding chapter (aka moderately good times)
Chapter Summary

Hey guys. Expect more chapters. Kinda really sick rn and it kinda sucks

Also floor insect wedding

1st person pov (shrek):

I put my black and green tuxedo on and waited in the car for Obama to finally get ready to go
to the floor insects wedding, it’s been two years since I escaped mr cleans clutch’s, I still feel
like I’m being watched but i think I’m just being paranoid.

Obama finally got in the car and we drove off to the wedding venue, it was a very long car
ride especially knowing that I’m still getting use to not living in a swamp..we had to change
our address just so T h e y couldn’t find us again.

Once we stepped out of the car music blared from the venue and we walked over to the gift
table to drop off our worm on the string collection that we got just for [floor insect 1] and
walked over to a chair and we both sat in it waiting for the wedding to start.

When [FLOOR INSECT 2] walked down the isle we heard the usual wedding speech all the
way up until [FLOOR INSECT 3] shouted out “I OBJECT!”

We left the wedding as a fight soon broke out between [FLOOR INSECT 1] and [FLOOR
INSECT 3]
“IVE BEEN HIS CHILDHOOD FRIEND SINCE FOREVER. IVE ALWAYS LOVED HIM
SO THEREFOR I SHOULD HAVE FLOOR INSECT TWO INSTEAD OF YOU!”
“OH YEAH? WELL WE ARE THE ONES GETTING MARRIED..NOT YOU [FLOOR
INSECT 3] SO JUST SHUT UP SIT DOWN AND BE HAPPY ABOUT HIS LIFE FOR
ONCE YOU STUPID WORM”
“THAN WHAT ARE YOU THEN HUH?? YOUR A WORM TO. WE ARE ALL WORMS
PENDEJO”

“IM A COCKAROACH ME AND [FLOOR INSECT2] ARE COCKROACHES YOU

BITCH!”

Me and Obama went into our car and sped off before things could get worse and we drove
the long way back to our home.
 Cool down chill up (late Valentine’s Day chapter)
Chapter Summary

Bean burrito.

(Shrek and Obama just date each other for a full chapter)

Chapter Notes
See the end of the chapter for notes

1st person (shrek):

The day started off good enough, I made plans the day before to go on a Valentine’s Day date
with Obama. We are going to a cafe first, then a arcade, a cool ball pit place, and finally a
nice hotel.

3rd person pov:

Shrek and Obama got into shreks mustang and drove off to lovely starlune (cafe I made up)
Shrek had bought the vip area for privacy (because why tf would anybody want to watch two
people eat especially if they are both on a date) they sat and chatted for a while about love
(ew) and how much they loved each other.

A waiter came up to them and asked for their orders

Shrek ordered a parfait

Obama ordered a humongous steak.

“Yknow…this parfait reminds me of you..” Shrek said lovingly

“And why is that?” Obama questioned

“Because you are sweet, just like the parfait.”

Chapter End Notes

This chapter use to be called some random name but like I was sick when I made it so
now I’m scrapping its idea and making a more fluffier chapter other than omg it’s a
scary cardboard box.
 Lemon. (Late April fools day chapter)

Shreks point of view:

Man I do love lemons. Lemon bread is so tasty. I use lemons every day I use them as
deodorant I use them as car gas (do not try at home). I even use lemons as bath water.

Lately my husbando has come out to say that he is allergic to lemons

I divorced him on the spot.

Man I just really love lemons

Yum yum.
 Gnawing just out of sight.
Chapter Summary

Shrek fully realizes that just a few chapters ago somebody died, and he felt like he
could’ve stopped it.

Chapter Notes

Warning! Lots of bug usage and also immense guilt.

Gnawing, chomping.

Shrek can feel it deep in his skin.

The horrifying realization that, just a few years ago, somebody- somebody he knew, he cared
about, died.

When his child died he didn’t care much, that annoying brat had it coming to him I mean-
bringing a cryptid into the house?? Something was bound to happen!!

But Barry b benson.. yeah Barry did force Shrek to kiss him but….
Did he deserve to die?
I mean he deserved to get punished but..death? Isn’t that a bit to far.

The person who killed him.

Still out there.

Sometimes Shrek can feel someone staring at him, even after all the moving around.

Gnawing at his bones. At his very being.

Tearing everything apart.

He hasn’t left his room in 5 days.

If he was there
Maybe if he told barry that it was a shitty move.
Maybe instead of not telling Obama he should’ve told him, maybe He wouldn’t feel the
gnawing guilt about lying to his own husband.
But he can’t change the past.

He can’t even bring himself to get up in the morning.

He can’t even look at himself.

He can’t even look at his husband.

Gnashing teeth, tearing at his skin.

Gnawing just out of sight.

 Gnawing out of sight 2
Chapter Summary

Uh, idk what to say?

I guess I’ll start with this *whips out ukulele*

I’m sorry for being gone for so long
I kinda forgot how to write

*insert excuse here*

I didn’t abandon you
I just have a bad schedule:(

It’s been months since Shrek has gone outside.

Y’know with the way he’s acted for these past years you’d think he forgot all about the
murder
The thing that started this all (well a long furby started this all but still) but no
It’s been eating at him

Obama has finally decided he’s had enough of shreks hermitness and decided on something

He’d take Shrek out on a vacation!

To the super duper cool beach

That would totally fix things

And not just push them away to stir and become worse in the future! Such a great idea

So he packed his bags and got in a jeep and took Shrek with him to the airport so that they
could go to the super duper cool beach (now with no pizzerias!)

Shrek seemed a bit less then ecstatic to go but he appreciated the sentiment.

When they finally landed their eyes grazed upon the luscious

Concrete.
Shrek stared out into the horizon

“Its..just concrete and water?”

He sounded perplexed and honestly bamboozled

“Yep! Now hop in”

They both jumped into the super duper cool beach’s waters

They had a fun evening

I think

Then they watched the sun set from their super duper cool beach hotel room

“I’m glad that you dragged me out of the house today” Shrek looked wistfully out into the
sun set.

“I am too shrek, I am too”

I guess that solves one problem, just for now

Trust me

It isn’t cured.
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