02.

08 End with a Bang Rough Draft Worksheet

Part I: The Rough Draft

Type each part of your essay into the chart below.

Introduction
 hook
 general information
 thesis statement
(because/then
sentence)
Body Paragraph #1
The Cause
 transitions
 topic sentence
 signal phrases
 facts and details
from research
 precise and domain-
specific language
Body Paragraph #2
An Effect
 transitions
 topic sentence
 signal phrases
 facts and details
from research
 precise and domain-
specific language
Body Paragraph #3
An Effect
 transitions
 topic sentence
 signal phrases
 facts and details
from research
 precise and domain-
specific language
Conclusion
 concluding
transition
word/phrase
 rephrase thesis in a
different way
 provide summary of
information
 explain why this
information is
important

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Rubric

On Target Almost There Needs Improvement

Introducti 10-8 points 7-6 points 5–0 points

on  I clearly and effectively
used a hook to draw in
my reader.
 I clearly and effectively
introduced general
information about my
topic.
 I clearly and effectively
used a thesis statement
that relates to my topic
and reflects a
because/then sentence
structure.
 I wrote a complete
paragraph of at least
four sentences.
 I used a hook to  I am missing a
draw in my reader. hook to draw in
 I partially my reader.
introduced general  I am missing
information about introduce general
my topic. information about
 I attempted to use my topic.
a thesis statement  I am missing a
that loosely relates thesis statement.
to my topic but  I am missing a
may not reflect a complete
because/then paragraph.
sentence structure.
 I wrote a partially
complete
paragraph.

Body 20-16 points 15-12 points 11–0 points

Paragrap  My three body
hs paragraphs insightfully
and effectively explain
the cause(s) and at least
two effects of my
chosen prompt.
 I clearly and effectively
used a topic sentence at
the beginning of each
body paragraph.
 I clearly and effectively
used transitions between
and in my body
paragraphs.
 I clearly and effectively
included signal phrases
to introduce information
from my sources.
 I clearly and effectively
incorporated relevant
facts from my sources.
 I clearly used at least
one direct quote from
my sources in each body
paragraph.
 I wrote complete
 My three body  I am missing body
paragraphs attempt paragraphs, or the
to explain the information does
cause(s) and at not relate to my
least one effect of prompt.
my chosen prompt.  I am missing a
 I used a loosely topic sentence at
connected topic the beginning of
sentence at the each body
beginning of each paragraph.
body paragraph.  I am missing
 I used some transitions
transitions between between and in my
and in my body body paragraphs.
paragraphs.  I am missing
 I included some signal phrases to
signal phrases to introduce
introduce information from
information from my sources.
my sources.  I am missing facts
 I included some from my sources.
facts from my  I am missing use
sources. direct quotes from
 I used at least one my sources.
direct quote from  I am missing
my sources. complete

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is a trademark of Florida Virtual School.
 On Target Almost There Needs Improvement

paragraphs of at least  I wrote partially paragraphs.

five sentences. complete  I may be missing
paragraphs. the body of my
essay.

Conclusio 10–8 points 7-6 points 5–0 points

n  I clearly and  I attempted to use  I am missing a
effectively used a a transition to transition to begin
transition to begin begin my my conclusion.
my conclusion. conclusion.  I am missing a
 I clearly and  I repeated my restatement of my
effectively thesis statement. thesis statement.
rephrased my thesis  I summarized  I am missing a
statement. some of the main summary of the
 I clearly and points of my essay. main points of my
effectively essay.
summarized the
main points of my
essay.

Clarity 5-4 points 3 points 2–0 points

 I effectively used  I partially used
precise and domain- precise and
specific language. domain-specific
 I consistently wrote language.
in third-person.  I attempted to
 I used no opinion or write in third-
emotion. person.
 I may have
incorporated
opinion or
emotion.
 I am missing
formal language.
 I am missing third-
person pronouns.
 I used opinion and
emotion
throughout my
essay.

Spelling, 5-4 points 3 points 2–0 points

Usage,  Proper spelling,  A few errors exist  Multiple errors in
and punctuation, and in spelling, spelling,
Grammar grammar are used punctuation, and punctuation, and
throughout the grammar. grammar are
rough draft. present.

Completed Sample
Part I: The Rough Draft

Introduction 19th century explorer Richard Burton said, “The most dangerous epidemic is the smallpox…
 hook which sweeps at times like a storm of death over the land.” Recorded throughout history

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 general information since its first appearance in Europe in 400 BCE, smallpox ravaged civilizations at great speed
 thesis statement and, due to its highly contagious nature, returned as an epidemic every ten years or so. If it
(because/then didn’t kill a victim, it left them blind, horribly scarred, or both. Because of the horrible nature
sentence) of the disease and one woman’s valiant efforts to spread the word about preventative
measures, widespread work towards preventing smallpox began and resulted in the
complete elimination of the disease in the 1900s.
Body Paragraph #1 Smallpox had devastating effects on the world for thousands of years. The National
The Cause Institutes of Health said, “Throughout the last three thousand years, smallpox has shadowed
 topic sentence civilization. A viral infection, the disease spread along trade routes, emerging first in Africa,
 facts and details Asia, and Europe, and reaching the Americas in the sixteenth century. Because smallpox
from research requires a human host to survive it tended to smolder in densely populated areas, erupting
 signal phrases in a full-blown epidemic every ten years or so. Wherever it appeared, the legacy of smallpox
 transitions was death, blindness, and scarring.” At the age of 26, English socialite Lady Mary Wortley
 precise and domain-
Montagu was struck with smallpox. It scarred her terribly and took the life of her beloved
specific language
brother. When her husband accepted a position as the British ambassador to Turkey in 1721,
Lady Mary was astonished to see the measures that Turkish women took to safeguard their
communities against the spread of smallpox. According to the National Institutes of Health,
the act of engrafting, or taking a small amount of liquid from a smallpox sore and inserting it
into a healthy person’s arm, had been around for centuries throughout Europe, Africa, and
Asia. Lady Mary brought word back to England and the royal family. The National Institutes
of Health documents that, “In 1721, at the urging of Montagu and the Princess of Wales,
several prisoners and abandoned children were inoculated by having smallpox inserted
under the skin. Several months later, the children and prisoners were deliberately exposed
to smallpox. When none contracted the disease, the procedure was deemed safe, and
members of the royal family were inoculated. The procedure then became fashionable in
Europe.” The serious nature of smallpox combined with Lady Mary’s efforts led to an
overseas effort to find a preventative tool.

Body Paragraph #2 After England adopted engrafting as common practice against smallpox, word made its way
An Effect to America in the 1720s. With a 30% death rate and constant breakouts in New England,
 topic sentence people were looking for a change. Harvard University reveals, “Cotton Mather is largely
 facts and details credited with introducing inoculation to the colonies and doing a great deal to promote the
from research use of this method as standard for smallpox prevention during the 1721 epidemic. Mather is
 signal phrases believed to have first learned about inoculation from his West African slave Onesimus,
 transitions writing, ‘he told me that he had undergone the operation which had given something of the
 precise and domain-
smallpox and would forever preserve him from it, adding that was often used in West Africa.’
specific language
After confirming this account with other West African slaves and reading of similar methods
being performed in Turkey, Mather became an avid proponent of inoculation.” As a
result, Cotton Mather teamed up with a man named Boylston for the first ever medical
clinical trials. Harvard University explains that the group of citizens that received
Boylston’s treatment had a 2% death rate. According to the Library of Congress, the work of
Mather and Boylston was so effective that George Washington requested that all troops
fighting in the Revolutionary War receive their treatment.
Body Paragraph #3 Some 50 years later, another result of Lady Mary Wortley Montagu's work was
An Effect revealed. The National Institutes of Health acknowledges that Edward Jenner, one of the
 topic sentence youths who was engrafted as a result of Montagu’s efforts, discovered the first vaccine. The
 facts and details National Institutes of Health explains that Jenner experimented with injecting
from research

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 signal phrases cowpox, a version of smallpox, into people. The experiment was successful, and the first
 transitions subject, an 8-year-old boy, was immune to the deadly disease after Jenner’s procedure.
 precise and domain- According to the National Institutes of Health, “The Latin word for cow is vacca, and cowpox
specific language is vaccinia; Jenner decided to call this new procedure vaccination.” Taking inspiration from
the long historical development of engraftment and inoculation, Edward Jenner’s creation of
a vaccination led to smallpox being wiped out worldwide by the late 1900s.
Conclusion Thanks to the efforts of Lady Montagu, Cotton Mather, Onesimus, and Edward Jenner,
 concluding one of the world’s most deadly diseases exists no more. As a result, the first medical clinical
transition trials were invented, and the procedure created by Mather and Boylston is still used today. A
word/phrase storm that had been swirling for thousands of years had finally ended, and the world could
 rephrase thesis in a rest easy knowing that smallpox was a disease of the past.
different way
 provide summary of
information
 explain why this
information is
important

Unless Otherwise Noted All Content © 2022 Florida Virtual School. FlexPoint Education Cloud™
is a trademark of Florida Virtual School.