WRITING FOLDER 1 EXERCISE 3-6 PAGE 23

Name: Michelle Garcia Briones

Grade: A

Exercise 3
Using the sentence openers below, rewrite your four choices from a-f in 2, in your own words.
Text 1
b Judicious use of technology has made museums more accessible to the public.
e In contrast to their former position in society, museums now seek to engage a wider audience.

Text 2
f The recent shift in policy is undesirable as museums have lost sight of their core role in society.
c Many museums create innovative displays but this is at the expense of substance.

Sentence Openers:
B) The first text suggests that the prudent use of technical devices became made (it’s the cause) the
exhibition places more interesting to the people.
C) The writer is of the opinion that a lot of exhibition places generate ingenious multimedia performances,
however, it they lacks of depth.
F) The second text raises the issue of the current change on in cultural strategies, which is inconvenient
because museums lose their crucial function in the community.
E) Additionally, it is argued that, in opposition to their preceding role in the community, today, museums
look to involve a larger public.

FEEDBACK:
While you have effectively used sentence openers, it is important to ensure a logical connection
between the sentences. Specifically, sentences B and E should be grouped together, as should C
and F.

Exercise 4
Read the sample answer below, thinking about these questions.
Yes/No questions (Why?)
Does he…
summarize all four points from the texts? No, because the text never mentions about the Judicious use of
technology, that has made museums more accessible to the public. ✕
It is mentioned in different words, but it is not analyzed.

evaluate each of the four points? He evaluated three over four points of view, because he never said anything
about Judicious use of technology. ✕
It’s analog to the previous question when the author mentioned the alternative ways of
displaying the objects in a museum relying on technology. But there are indeed some points
while they were mentioned, they never were analyzed. Those points are specifically points C
and F of text 2, and this is noticeable because of the lack of arguments starting in the third
paragraph.

use their own words throughout? No, he took words directly from both original texts. ✓
add relevant ideas of their own? No, he adds some different ideas, but they are not relevant. ✓
Exercise 5
Rewrite the second sentence of Paragraph 3 in your own words. You may find some of this
alternative vocabulary useful.

(3rd Paragraph 2nd sentence in bold)

In contrast, the second text raises the issue of "dumbing down” and its writer claims that those in charge of
museums have lost their way. They have forgotten that the purpose of a museum is to stimulate learning
and broaden the horizons of its visitors and the writer is of the opinion that this is a change for the worse,
because the medium has become more important than the message.

They have out of mind that the aim of a museum is to promote learning and broaden the horizons of
its public and the author has the point of view that this is less desirable, because the method of
delivery is has made more important than the subject matter.

Alternative Vocabulary
purpose - aim, function, objective
stimulate - encourage, promote
a change for the worse - less desirable, an unfortunate outcome
the medium - the method of delivery
the message - the subject matter, the content

Whereas you replaced perfectly the expressions required, among others. The efforts must now
concentrate on rephrasing the statements to differentiate the original text from the one that is
being restated. Good job

Exercise 6 (60 words minimum)

Write a final paragraph of about 60 words, including your own ideas about the points made in the
texts.
To sum up it is well known that nowadays our children seek to learn with advanced technology and,
if you want to teach something to a child, you need to speak in their language, with ingenious
multimedia performances or something more modern. But, in on the other hand, it is true that the
museums are an excellent opportunity to teach, not only* to entertain. They have the responsibility
to educate our future generations with high-quality information.
So, the best they can do is trying to mix both points of view, and perhaps, they will have an incredible
combination with superior** of information but more attractive to for all the whole*** community.

*We can remove the word "only" as it does not align with the primary objective of a museum and
instead serves more as a secondary purpose or strategy.
**Using a synonym here is crucial to avoid repetition.
***"All" can refer to more than one, while "whole" is only used before singular nouns.

You touch on the two perspectives shown in the text, but maybe it would be better to consider
not only children as the main attendees to the museum, to cover more people as part of the
situation maybe we could use “the young” or “the new generations”.