English 10 // Ms.

Ueda

The Conclusion
1) A conclusion should recreate, without feeling (or actually being) repetitive, the argument of the
essay—that is, it should first sum up the essay’s argument in different, stronger words—and from a
more elevated perspective.
➔ Discuss: B
​ ut, a conclusion that does ​only​ this much will feel like a bit of a letdown—why?

2) A conclusion should then push on, to address a larger or related point that helps to explain why the
argument you have made in your essay matters, that answers the question, “So what?”
➔ Discuss: W
​ hy would this be an important part of a conclusion?

It is best to have some further or larger point you want to make in mind from the beginning, often
articulated (or somewhat hidden) in the introduction (perhaps in the angle or in the thesis), but this
further point is likely to change, evolve, or become more precise as you write your essay. For your
“Sonny’s Blues” essay, your conclusion should expand on your thesis from the introduction.

Ways to make a further related point (or relate your argument to the meaning of the work as a whole):
1. Identify the meaning of a theme—what is the author’s or story’s argument, according to your
interpretation? [​ This is what your conclusion for the “Sonny’s Blues” essay should primarily
accomplish. If you want, you could also try the techniques listed in 2, 3, and 4 below as a way of
fleshing out your conclusion.]
2. Answer a possible objection to your argument
3. Save one or two short apt quotations for your conclusion
4. Return to your angle

Model Intro & Conclusion: ​Reread the model introduction and then read the model conclusion.
Then discuss the questions below.

[Introduction] Angle (specific detail): ​Early on in Alice Walker’s “Everyday Use,” Mama dreams
about happily reuniting with her daughter Dee on a daytime TV show. D
​ evelopment of angle:​In
her fantasy, Mama is thinner and lighter-skinned, and Dee gives her an orchid to wear, a flower which
Mama loves (but, in reality, she knows Dee dislikes). ​Transition: ​However, Mama’s imagined blissful
reunion with Dee contrasts with their later, actual disagreement over who should inherit a treasured
family heirloom, two quilts pieced by Dee’s grandmother, which reveals their opposing views of their
English 10 // Ms. Ueda

family history and culture as African-Americans. C

​ laim 1: ​Dee would save the quilts from “everyday
use” and preserve them as works of folk art and put them on display. C
​ laim 2: ​However, Mama
chooses to give the quilts to Dee’s sister Maggie, even at the price of their eventual disintegration.
Thesis: ​According to Walker’s story, experiences of communal suffering, struggle, and degradation
can produce a rich culture, and escaping that oppression can kill the culture’s vitality.

[Conclusion​] Mama chooses to give the quilts to Maggie over Dee because she knows that Maggie

will continue the family’s domestic traditions, whereas Dee will treat the quilts merely as museum
pieces from the past. Though Mama initially daydreams about being a lighter-skinned, wittier, more
delicate version of herself to satisfy Dee’s standards at the beginning of the story, Walker ultimately
asserts the value of Mama and Maggie’s reality as low-income Black women in the South over Dee’s
escape from her family’s history to a cosmopolitan world of education and money. Through Mama’s
choice of Maggie as the inheritor of the family’s heirlooms, Walker suggests that a family’s traditions
must not be fetishized as a relic of history but rather kept alive as a proud sign of African-American
strength and survival through conditions of poverty and oppression.

➔ Discuss:​What does this conclusion accomplish, and how? What do you like about it? Is there
anything you would add or change?
English 10 // Ms. Ueda

Read the following style guidelines for homework. Think of this as a kind of checklist of things to look
for as you proofread and revise your essay.

Style Guidelines
● Make sure that you have s​ moothly integrated all of your quotes​and ​properly cited them​.
○ How to cite: put the page number in parentheses either directly after the quotation or
at the end of the sentence; remember to put punctuation after the parentheses
○ Example: When Dee comes to visit, she wants to acquire various family artifacts like
the butter churn to turn them into home decor, commenting, “I can use the churn top
as a centerpiece for the alcove table” (487).
● U​ se present tense​when describing anything that happens in the novel.
○ Example: When Dee c​ omes​ to visit, she w ​ ants​ to acquire various family artifacts…
○ Exceptions to this rule are rare. You should use the past tense only if you describe a
historical event (e.g. Walker p
​ ublished​ “Everyday Use” in 1973) or if you are
describing a shift in the time frame within the world of the novel/story (e.g. The
narrator r​ emembers​ the final conversation he h
​ ad​ with his mother before she ​died​).
● Names: W
​ hen you mention a character, use their most commonly used name in the
novel/story (e.g. Sonny) or, if unnamed, their role in the story (e.g. the narrator). When you
mention the author’s name for the first time, use their full name (e.g. James Baldwin), but use
their last name only after that (e.g. Baldwin). Avoid referring to the author as “the author”/
“the writer” (use their name instead) or by their first name.
● Refer to a work by its genre​(story, novel, play, poem), rather than calling it a “book.”
● Capitalize “Black” when referring to a character’s or author’s racial identity.​The N
​ ew
York Times​ made this stylistic change in the summer of 2020. In an article explaining why,
their National editor Marc Lacey explains, ​“It seems like such a minor change, black versus
Black. But for many people the capitalization of that one letter is the difference between a
color and a culture.” I would encourage you to​ r​ ead the full article here for the reasoning
behind their decision​ ​(“Why We’re Capitalizing Black,” July 5, 2020).
● Clarity > Sounding fancy. ​While I appreciate a rich vocabulary, your first priority in writing
should be clarity rather than trying to dazzle the reader with big words. As your ideas become
English 10 // Ms. Ueda

more complex, your writing will naturally follow suit, but if you try to force it by running to
the thesaurus every other sentence, you may end up misusing words or confusing your reader.
○ ANDY: “If you would do me the obligation of having your honor, heretofore, in the
room doth right over there...hence.”
EVERYONE: “What?”
ANDY: “Big event in that room, 15 minutes.”
—​Parks and Rec​, Season 3, Episode 9
● Minimize Passive Voice. ​A passive construction occurs when you make the object of an
action into the subject of a sentence; or, in other words, when the subject of the sentence does
not perform the action/verb of the sentence.
Passive: The ​metropolis​ h
​ as been scorched​ by the dragon’s fiery breath.
Active: The ​dragon​ s​ corched​ the metropolis with his fiery breath.
○ Using passive voice obscures who is performing the action in the sentence, which can
then make the whole meaning of the sentence unclear or unspecific to the reader. Also,
overuse of passive voice throughout an essay can cause your prose to seem flat and
uninteresting. If you notice yourself using passive voice in a sentence, consider
whether or not the meaning of the sentence would be clearer if it were in active voice.
Additionally, if you notice that you use passive voice twice or more in a paragraph,
consider if your writing would sound more forceful if using active voice.
○ To identify passive voice, look for: a form of “to be” + past participle (+ by phrase) =
passive voice
○ A past participle usually contains the suffix -ed (e.g. “scorched,” “invaded”), but not
always (e.g. “caught”). Not every sentence that contains a form of “to be” is passive
(e.g. “The house was red” = active voice; “The house was painted red” = passive voice).