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SURF'S UP FAGS !!!!!!! | |
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JACK MCCOY IS INDICTING YOU FOR

DICKLICKING IN THE FIRST DEGREE
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I DIDN'T LISTEN TO MY
MOTHER ABOUT CROSSING
MY EYES SO THEY STUCK
THIS WAY
HOLY GOD I NEED TOOL
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LET ME THE FUCK OUT
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I'M GAY GAY GAY
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` ;;; TO BE GAY !!!!!!
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TAKE US TO YOUR LEADER WE COME IN PEACE
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I THINK I STOPPED | WHAT WE NEED HERE

UP YOUR HUMAN TOILETS | IS A SALAD BAR
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HOLY GOD I'M

GOING TO BURST
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I BEAT OFF WITH AN
OVEN MITT NIGHTLY
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SHOE ME IN THE NUTS AND CALL ME SALLY
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TO BOLDLY CHOKE WHERE NONE HAVE CHOKED BEFORE
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LOOK AT THE WATER CLOSET TO THE RIGHT OF ME
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PRICKS !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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| //^\\//^\| PLEASE GOD DON'T LET ALL THE
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I LIKE TO BASH MY OWN

NUTS LIKE A PINATA
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MY LEGS AND CALL ME ;%%%(@ @)(@ @)%%%%; ||||
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IN A PERFECT WORLD THERE'D BE HOT BUNS ON ME
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SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSUCKING EVERYTHING IN SSSSSSSSSSSIGHT
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ONE WORD SAYS IT ALL:
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I'M SOME MANNER OF EGYPTIAN STORK
RUB SOME CREAM ON MY ASS
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==%%%%000000%==%%%%000000%==
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#####@@@@@@@@@@@@=**********===@@@@@@@@@@@@##
#####@@@@@@@@@@==**********====@@@@@@@@@@@# JB
%
(~'~~'~~'~~) HOW ABOUT THOSE WACKY COMICS ?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?
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I CAN SEE YOU'RE NOT WEARING CLEAN UNDERWEAR

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%
_ NOW THAT'S ONE FINE DUMP !!!!! I LIKE DICK
| \
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__ EITHER I'M A HIPPIE OR A FAGGOT OR BOTH
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GIVE ME YOUR DOUGH OR THIS HORN GOES RIGHT UP YOU
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MY BIG STUPID HEAD IS IDEAL

FOR PUNCHING AND HITTING
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I'M PAINTING A PICTURE OF MY DONG

I'LL THROW IN THE PANTS NO CHARGE
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%
CHECK OUT THESE CLAMS WOULDJA
YES I'M TALKING TO YOU
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I LIKE LINUX AND .' `.
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WHAT THE FUCK AM I SUPPOSED TO BE
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_-~~~-_ _-~~~-_
/~ ~\ : , \ AM I A MOUSE OR A RAM ????????
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,-. __
I THINK SOMEONE HID JIMMY ,' `---.___.---' `.
HOFFA IN MY FAT DUMB HUMP ,' ,- `-._
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| = |\ \____/ \____/
| =================== | \
|_______ = _______| | DIED FOR YOUR FATNESS
\ | = |\ \ |
\_____| = | \_______\|
| = | |
| = | |
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.
.:::.....:::::::.. :.
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I REALLY NEED `::::::::::
TO STOP SMOKING `:::::::
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.======.
| INRI |
| | I DIED FOR YOUR SHINS
| | OR SOMETHING LIKE THAT
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WHENEVER YOU'RE TAKING IT UP THE ASS ...........
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YOU'D JUMP LIKE THIS TO IF YOU

HAD TO TAKE A SERIOUS DUMP
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DON'T FORGET TO SNORT/SMOKE IT

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RIDE ME SIDESADDLE AND
CRAM THAT WHIP UP MY ASS
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LICK A DICK A DAY !!!!!!!
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I'M A BIRD I'M A DOG
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I'M A PILE OF DOGSHIT

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THIS HARD SHELL OF MINE
PROTECTS ME FROM PEDOPHILES
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I AM NOT YET
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PUT YOUR OTHER OKAY SIS !!!!!!!!!
HAND IN MY LAP !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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WHAT'S UP CHARLIE GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE
CAN I RAID THE FRIDGE ???? I FILED A RESTRAINING ORDER
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____________________
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| |___VOL. XVII____| |
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CLEAR A PATH TO THE TOILET

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NOTHING TO BE GAY WITH FOR MILES AND MILES
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OKAY GUYS NEXT TIME HE PICKS
UP THE MUG WE FLY UP HIS NOSE
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|.....| /
|.....|
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| |
| |
| | I WONDER TOO
| . |
| . | /
| . | mga
| . |
| . |
| . |
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%
A-OKAY QUEERNUTS
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I HAVE TO STAND LIKE THIS BECAUSE MY OWNER SHOVED A STICK UP ME
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%
I
HAVE
NO
PENIS || ||
___||_____||___
||||| | |
| o o | | _____ |
| > | | | | | mga
| \_/ | | |_____| |
\___/ |_____-----_____|
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| | \_/ | | |||
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%
I WILL BE GAY FOR A DOLLAR
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/\/\ LT
%
CHOO CHOO THE GAY TRAIN IS LEAVING THE STATION
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_______
/ | I CAN'T EVEN MANAGE
/ | CHOPSTICKS
___/ |
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(_______________|_\ \/< \
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___ _ _ ____ _____ _ _ _
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| | \ kb / | | | | _| / _ \ | \| |
| | \ / | |_| | |___ / ___ \| |\ |
|___| \/ |____/|_____/_/ \_\_| \_|
%
,
__ _.-"` `'-.
/||\'._ __{}_( LIVE LONG AND PROSPER
|||| |'--.__\ GLHAGLHAGLHAGULHAGULH
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==========================================
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| |<<<<<<<<<<dP;,?>;,::::::::::fffKKIP | |
| ``<<<<<<<dP;;;;;\>>>>>;,::::fffKKIPf ' |
| \ `mYMMV?;;;;;;;\>>>>>>>>>,YIIPP"` / |
| `. "":;;;;;;;;;i>>>>>>>>>>>>>, ,' |
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| `=========' fL|
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_.-'~~`~~'-._
.'` B E R `'. I BEAT UP ALL THOSE NEW
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BLHVULHGBUL \\\ \ ULHGBULHGULHNGULHGBULHGBULHGBULHGBULHGNULHNGNGHGBGULHBG
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0_
\`. ___
\ \ / __>0 I SHOULDN'T HAVE HAD THAT
/\ / |/' / LAST FUCKING TEQUILA SHOT
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%
WE WERE MADE FOR EACH OTHER
BECAUSE WE'RE BOTH FAT
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I'M THE MOST BORING
DRAWING EVER
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(`. ,-,
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\`. \ ,'/ .' DON'T LOOK AT ME LIKE THAT
__ `.\ Y /.' HAVEN'T YOU EVER SEEN A GAY RABBIT
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.---.
___ /_____\ DUE TO MY LACK OF BALLS
/\.-`( '.' ) I'M JUST GOING TO END IT ALL
/ / \_-_/_ DON'T COME ANY CLOSER I MEAN IT
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L___l___J OH WHO AM I KIDDING
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/ , , \ WHAT THE HELL
| <\^/> | DID YOU DO WITH MY FACE
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\ \ / / /
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| \|
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|\ |mga
.-----'---'-----.
|'Your very own'|
|G A Y A W A R D|
|. Wear it .|
|| proudly ||
|| ||
||__ May 1999 _||
'---------------'
%
YOU ARE GETTING SLEEPY
. V E R Y S L E E P Y
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I SWEAR TO GOD I'M GOING < ^ `D/
TO CREAM MY JEANS \_ (
RIGHT HERE AND NOW )_/;.
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\\\\\////// WANNA LOLLIPOP
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WHY CAN'T YOU BE MORE
LIKE MY DREAM GUY YOU'RE ON YOUR PERIOD
AGAIN AREN'T YOU
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|`---------' |
| Krogg|
`-...____...-'
WHO FARTED
%
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| _ _ | FOR THE LOVE OF GOD
| (_\ /_) | WHAT HAPPENED TO MY
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,
I AM THE GAYEST .---. _//
THING ON GOD'S //\_/\\ \_\
GREEN EARTH |/ 0_0 \| /
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''( \_\ ' (()( I SURE HOPE PATRICK NAUGHTON
''._' ( \ ' ISN'T IN THIS CHANNEL !!!!!!
' `. `--' ' OH WAIT HE ONLY LIKES GIRLS
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%
_ I CAN SEE
| | YOUR BALLS
|_|_
[__(_)
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_____| |
'-----| |
____| |
[_______| mga
%
___ _____
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l.Y ^.
/\ _\_ I'M DRAWN LIKE SHIT
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WHATEVER YOU DO DON'T HIT THE GAY BUTTON
|"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""".---------------.""|
| |/"'_ Commodore | |
| |\_."A-500 Plus | |
|mga '---------------' |
|-----------------------------------------------------------------------------|
||Es| |F1 |F2 |F3 |F4 |F5 | |F6 |F7 |F8 |F9 |F10| Power [____] |
||__| |___|___|___|___|___| |___|___|___|___|___| Drive [____] |
| _____________________________________________ ________ ___________ |
|| |! |" |X |$ |% |^ |& |* |( |) |_ |+ || |<-| |Gay|Help| |Nu|/ |* |- | |
||___|1_|2_|3_|4_|5_|6_|7_|8_|9_|0_|-_|=_|\_|__| |___|____| |Lo|__|__|__| |
||<- |Q |W |E |R |T |Y |U |I |O |P |{ |} | || |7 |8 |9 |+ | |
||->__|__|__|__|__|__|__|__|__|__|__|[_|]_|_ || |__|__|__| | |
||Ctr|oC|A |S |D |F |G |H |J |K |L |: |@ | |<'| |4 |5 |6 | | |
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||^ | |Z |X |C |V |B |N |M |< |> |? |^ | |A | |1 |2 |3 |E | |
||_____|__|__|__|__|__|__|__|__|__|__|__|______| __||_|__ |__|__|__|n | |
| |Alt|A | |A |Alt| |<-|| |->| |0 |. |t | |
| |___|___|_______________________|___|___| |__|V_|__| |_____|__|e_| |
| |
'-----------------------------------------------------------------------------'
I'M AN EMBRYO
_-.
.'_-'__
|| |_<
'.-_.
"-'
%
_ _
| | I'M SOME MANNER | |
| | OF PICK-UP | |
| | STICKS | |
| | | |
| | .---. | |
| | _.'\ /'._ | |
/ b__--- | .'"'. | ---__d \
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| | ./ \. | |
| | '---' mga | |
| | | |
| | | |
|_| |_|
%
STOP GROPING ME
LOOK I SAID NO CANDY
I FOUND JESUS
STOP JERKING ME
WHO TOOK MY PEANUTS
SHUT THE FUCK ALL OF YOU
\ .-------------------------------------------------------------.
\ '------..-------------..----------..----------..----------..--.|
\ | \\ || || || || ||
| \\ || || || || ||
| .. || _ _ || _ _ || _ _ || _ _|| ||
| || || // // || // // ||// // || // //|| /||
|_.------"''----------''----------''----------''----------''--'|
.______________________________________________________________|
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| | | _-_ | | | | .-. | ||==| C|
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HARD TO TELL WHAT I AM ISN'T IT
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SHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
BE VEWY VEWY KWIET
I'M HUNTING PRICKS
("`-''-/").___..--''"`-._
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HONK HONK MAKE WAY FOR THE GAY
___________ /
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| _| " | " --_ ||
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______\_/_____________\_/_______
%
___
." ". BEEP BEEP
| ___( HOT STUFF COMIN' THROUGH
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__,,--``\\
_,,-''`` \\ , I GOTTA CUT DOWN
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%
I PUT K-9 AND WHAT'S-HER-FACE
DOWN MY PANTS AND NOW THEY'RE .---.
GOING TO KICK ME OUT THE | '.| __
TIME LORDS' GUILD !!!!!!! | ___.--' )
_.-'_` _%%%_/
BETTER CRAM DOWN THESE .-'%%% a: a %%%
LAST TEN DICKS QUICK %% L %%_
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THAT'S ONE SMALL STEP FOR MAN,
HOLY GOD MY PANTS ARE FULL OF FOAM
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YOU CAN PUT PORN ON ME JUST AS EASILY AS MUSIC
NEVER FUCKING FORGET THAT YOU FAGGOT
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.' '.' `. BIG BIRD DID ME UGLY
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USA Cow Nerd USA Cow EXTREMELY GAY COW

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W I D E R I S B E T T E R
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MORE LIKE BLORK !!!!!!!!! AM I RIGHT FOLKS ??????????????

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WHO STOLE MY FUCKING HEAD NOW I AM

A DISEMBODIED (ALBEIT GAY) EYES
NOSE AND MOUTH
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|---------------------------------------------------------|
| ....... |
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| ________ ___ _/ \ |
| .' \____.-. / '.' \ _ /| STOP LOOKING AT ME
|---' ___ \ / o \/ \___ / | LET ME BE GAY
| _ / |.------. " |\ .----. . \ . \ / | IN PEACE FOR ONCE
| / / . | | . | ____ |.\/)))\ o\ \/ / ___ ' |
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STAY AWAY FROM HERE ./.;_.\ __/~ \. THIS PLANET IS
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LOOK AT MY DICK POKE UP
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WE ARE SIAMESE IF YOU SUCK
WE ARE SIAMESE IF YOU DON'T SUCK
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ME LICKY LONG TIME !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

TWENTY DORRAR BRILL
%
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()\ <> /() I TAKE IT
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I'M A PEDOPHILE
OR IS IT PAEDOPHILE
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%
(\ /)
( \ __ / )
( \ ( ) / )
( /<>\ ) TAKE THIS LITTLE ANGEL
( / \/ \ ) AND KEEP HER CLOSE TO YOU
/ \ SHE IS YOUR GUARDIAN ANGEL
( ) SENT TO NAIL YOUR ASS GOOD
~~~~
%
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___ IT'S QUICKSAND !!!!!!!!!!!! HALP !!!!!!!!
/___\ GHLAGLHAGLHAGLH DROWNING IN DICKS
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%
I'M TALLER THAN YOU YEAH BUT YOU ALSO BLOW
THE BENTLEY NEXT DOOR
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( ~^)(^~ ) I'M EDWARD
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^^^^ ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
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_____\ _______
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RECYCLE !!!!!! BE SURE TO PUT THOSE

DICKS BACK WHERE YOU FOUND 'EM
%
I'M THE GAYEST ONE HERE
* . *
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|/____\| I AM THE HOMO PLANE !!!!!!!!!
| | DELIVERING HOMOS TO LOCATIONS
| | | NEAR YOU !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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THINK ABOUT IT -- HOW COULD I POSSIBLY
SURVIVE WITHOUT A MOUTH ??? CLEARLY I
AM NOT AS EVOLVED AS YOU MIGHT THINK
JESUS SAVES !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

MOSES LICKS !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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I'M FLAMING !!!!!!!!
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JESUS CHRIST I KICKED A
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__|___|___|___|_| HIV CLINIC |__|___|___|
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:::::...... :::::::::::: ::::::::::: .:. .:: I WOULD LIKE ::.
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POP QUIZ !!!!!!!!!!! WHO'S GAYEST ??????????????????
WHY THE ONE WITH THE BONER OF COURSE !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

%
HELP I'M BEING ASSFUCKED
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.!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!. `@@@@@@'
.!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!.
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
,!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!,
! !!! !!! !!! !!! !!! !!! !!! !!! !!! !
.!!! !!! !!! !!! !!! !!! !!! !!! !!! !!!.
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!',;'!!!!! ';,
`!!`!!`!!`!!`!!`!!`!!`!!`!!`!!`!!',;; !'!!' ;;,
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`;;. ,a@@@@@@@@@@@@@a%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%::@@@@a@@@@@@@a@@@@:. GET THE
`;;.a@@@@@@@@@@@@@@%%%%%%%%%%%%%%a@@@%%::%%`@@@@@@@@@@@@@'%%:: FUCKING
`@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@%%%%%%%@@a%a@@@@@@@%::%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%:: SHITTY
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@a%%%%@@@@@@@@@@@@@%;;|;,;|;,;|;,;|;.;|;,;|;; JOB
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%
____
(. \
\ | WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING
\ |___(\--/) AT FUCKFACE
__/ ( . . )
"'._. '-.O.'
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%
ARGLE BARGLE ___-------___
I'M MICHAEL JACKSON _-~~ ~~-_
_-~ /~-_
/^\__/^\ /~ \ / \
/| O|| O| / \_______________/ \
| |___||__| / / \ \
| \ / / \ \
| (_______) /______/ \_________ \
| / / \ / \
\ \^\\ \ / \ /
\ || \______________/ _-_ //\__//
\ ||------_-~~-_ ------------- \ --/~ ~\ || __/
~-----||====/~ |==================| |/~~~~~
(_(__/ ./ / \_\ \.
(_(___/ \_____)_)-jurcy
%
PLEASE KILL ME
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.-""| CHECK ME OUT HOMEY !!!!!!
|-""| I'M ALL 3D AND SHIT !!!!!!
| ._--+. WHOOOOO HOOOOOOOO KEGGER
.|-"" '.
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| + .-" J
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%
/~~~~\ /~~~~\
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`\ ./'
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| |\__/| | /_________ DICK GOES
| |/~~\| | \ IN HERE
| /~~~~~~~~~\ |
| | | |
| | | |
| | | |
| | | |
%
.--------------------------. .-------. .------------.
.-' | / \ | "'.
' | ' ` | .
' ----------. .-------'/ \ | .---. |
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| .' | | ' .' `. `| | `. |
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\ /\ / / \ | . `--------- .
` ' ` ' ' ___ ` | |\ |
\ / \ / ' .' `. `| | `. .'
`-----' `-----' `-----' `-----'`-----' "`--------------------'
EPISODE V: THE EMPIRE SUCKS DICK

%
.--._
HARK !!! A BONER ((/---._)
CRYING OUT IN THE (_/Q Q )
DISTANCE / |c /
/- \.-,-'-,.__
I SHOULD INVESTIGATE \-- o---o --\
\__, H---H( --\
IF I DON'T WHO WILL \\--\-\__-\
\\--\ -/\_/)
\o-o--\ ((\
/ '._
/ _/_ '-.
| / '-._ |_
snd |___| \__[)|
|_| / |
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%
LOOK WHAT I BOUGHT IN HOUSEWARES AT WAL-MART
(\o/)___________________________________________________________(\o/)
(/|\) (/|\)
| .-~~~-. |
| / } |
| / .-~ |
| \ | } |
| _ __ ___\.~~-.-~| . -~_ |
| / \./ \/\__ { O | ` .-~. ; ~-.__ |
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| / /\_/^\._}_/ // / / | \~ - - ~ |
| ( (__{(@)}\__}.//_/__A__/_A___|__A_\___A______A_____A |
| \__/{/(_)\_} )\\ \\---v-----V----v----v-----V-----v--- |
| ( (__)_)_/ )\ \> |
| \__/ \__/\/\/ |
| \__,--' |
| |
(\o/)___________________________________________________________(\o/)
(/|\) (/|\)
%
---,_,----
/ . \
/ | \
( @@ ) SO ANYWAY DO I GET THE JOB
/ _/----\_ \
/ '/ \` \
/ / . \ \
/ /| |\ \
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' / @@@@@@@@ \ ` LWR
%
. .
/ `. .' \
BE GAY WITH ME .---. < > < > .---.
\ | \ \ - ~ ~ - / / |
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| / | / ~-. `-. _||_||_
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%
. .xXXXX+. .
. .. xXXXX+.- .. .
. .. ... ..xXXXX+. --.. ... .. .
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. .. ... ......xXXXX+. . .--...... ... .. .
. .. ... ......xXXXX+. -.- -...... ... .. .
. .. ... ......xXXXX+. .-+-.-.-...... ... .. .
. .. ... .....xXXXX+. . --xx+.-.--..... ... .. .
. .. ... .....xXXXX+. - .-xxxx+- .-- .... ... .. .
. .. ... ...xXXXX+. -.-xxxxxx+ .---... ... .. .
. .. ... ..xXXXX+. .---..xxxxxx+-..--.. ... .. .
. .. ... xXXXX+. . --....xxxxxx+ -.- ... .. .
. .. ..xXXXX+. . .-......xxxxxx+-. --.. .. .
. .. xXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXxxxxxx+. .-- .. .
. xXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXxxxxxx+. -- .
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx+.--
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx+- Ojosh!ro
YOU ARE GETTING VERY SLEEPY

%
////\\ //||\\ //\|\\ ///||\
/Ò-O' ` @ @\ //o o// a a
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- - - ~
John-------Paul----George---FUCKFACE
%
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| |
| |
| |
| |
| |
| |
=====(()())=====
//\\
// \\
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// /\\\ \\
// //\\\\ \\ I'M SWAYING IN THE FISTING SWING
// m m \\ /
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%
.======.
| INRI |
| | I CAN SEE MY HOUSE FROM UP HERE
| |
.========' '========.
| _ xxxx _ |
| /_;-.__ / _\ _.-;_\ |
| `-._`'`_/'`.-' |
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| | / |
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%
*
| * * *
-0- * *
* | TAKE ME TO YOUR LEADER
* /
* ,;-----^-----;/ * *
* ,;' /v\ / ';, *
* / ;'_'; \ *
____/____________/___\______\____
* / \ *
| 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 | *
* \_________________________________/ *
* \ /
* `--------|--------' *
* * *
* * * *
*
%
_______
/_______\
|_________|
|/-------\|
/_________\
// \\
||+---------+||
[|||Mon 02-09|||]
|||=========||| ONLY CHILDREN AND RETARDS WEAR DIGITAL WATCHES
[|||.12:12 57|||]
||+---------+||
\\_________//
\ /
|\-------/|
|---------|
\---------/
%
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::::/\/_ HOLY GOD NOT THE BOILING WATER
{{`-.__.-'(`(^^(^^^(^ 9 `.=========' HALHGALHGLLGAHGLAHULBAHGLHALBH
{{{{{{ { ( ( ( ( (-----:= HGLAUGHALHBAHGHUALGHALHLHBHAHH
{{.-'~~'-.(,(,,(,,,(__6_.'=========. AHLBHUABULGHBLGHBALGHBGAHBLHHB
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%
THIS IS FAGLINES FLIGHT G-A-Y
REQUESTING PERMISSION TO DO IT UP
|
|
|
-===+=====_/(T)\_=====+===-
| |/.\| |
`-|\_/|-' WJMC
%
_.~._ I DEFY PHYSICAL LAW BY
,~'.~@~.`~. MAKING SHITS LARGER
/ : _..._ : \ THAN MYSELF
{ :,"''\\`".: }
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%
|* * * * * * * * * * OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO| AMERICA THE BEAUTIFUL!
| * * * * * * * * * :::::::::::::::::::::::::|
|* * * * * * * * * * OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO| WHAT ELSE CAN YOU
| * * * * * * * * * :::::::::::::::::::::::::| SAY ABOUT THIS GREAT
|* * * * * * * * * * OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO| LAND OF OURS BUT:
| * * * * * * * * * ::::::::::::::::::::;::::|
|* * * * * * * * * * OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO| JESUS CHRIST
|:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::|
|OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO| LOOK AT ALL THE FATTIES
|:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::|
|OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO| THERE SHOULD BE A CAMP
|:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::| OR A DEATH MARCH OR
|OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO| SOMETHING
%
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! @@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@ !
! @@@@@@@@@@@ !
! -------------------------- !
! TODAY YOU ARE **THIS** GAY !
! -------------------------- !
!!!!!!! !!!!!!!
!!!!!!! !!!!!!!
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
%
___ ____
/' --;^/ ,-_\ \ | / JOURNAL ENTRY #47: STILL STUCK
/ / --o\ o-\ \\ --(_)-- ON THIS HORRIBLE ISLAND WITH NO
/-/-/|o|-|\-\\|\\ / | \ BONG OR LIGHTER OR MARIJUANA
'` ` |-| `` ' FOR THAT MATTER. TRIED TO BEAT
|-| MYSELF TO DEATH WITH A COCONUT BUT
|-|O IT WAS REALLY JUST A LOWERCASE "O"
|-(\,__ AND NOT UP TO THE TASK. WON'T
...|-|\--,\_.... SOMEBODY PLEASE RESCUE ME
,;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;,.
~,;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;,~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
~;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;, ______ --------- _____ ------
%
_______\\__ I PREFER TO BE CALLED "DROMEDARY"
(_. _ ._ _/ BECAUSE I READ IT IN A BOOK
'-' \__. / PLUS IT SOUNDS WAY GAYER
/ /
/ / .--. .--.
( ( / '' \/ '' \ "
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%
____ ____
/' | | \
/ / | | \ \
/ / | | | \ \
: / | """" |\ \ SOME MONKEY TOOK A BIG SHIT HERE
| / / /^\ /^\ \ _| WHY I HAVE TO CLEAN UP FOR
~ | | | | | | ~ EVERYBODY ELSE ON THIS GOD'S
| |__O|__|O__| | GREEN EARTH I'LL NEVER KNOW
/~~ \/ ~~\
/ ( | ) \
_--_ /, `\___/^\___/' \ _--_
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/____--------/~~~~\---/~~~~\ -----------_____
--~~~ ^ | | | | - : ~:~-_ ___-----~~~~~~~~|
/ `^-^-^' `^-^-^' : ~\ /' ____/--------|
-- ; | /~~~------~~~~~~~~~|
; : : | ----------/--------|
: , ; . |---\\--------------|
: - . : : |______________-__|
: , , : /'~----___________|
__ \\\ ^ ,, ;; ;; ;._-~
~~~-----____________________________________----~~~ jurcy
%
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_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
/ \ / \ / \ / \ / \ / \ / \ / \ / \ / \ / \ / \ / \ / \ / \ / \
( T | H | I | S ) ( I | S ) ( T | H | E ) ( D | U | M | B | E | S | T )
\_/ \_/ \_/ \_/ \_/ \_/ \_/ \_/ \_/ \_/ \_/ \_/ \_/ \_/ \_/ \_/
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
/ \ / \ / \ / \ / \ / \ / \ / \
( F | O | N | T ) ( E | V | E | R )
\_/ \_/ \_/ \_/ \_/ \_/ \_/ \_/
%
THE APOCALYPSE IS HERE !!! LICKING C.H.U.D. DICK UNDERGROUND
*************
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****** | |||| | ******
|||| | |
| |||||
|| | | |
| |||||||
|| | | |
| | || |
||| | |||
| | || |
.*#|| || |||#*.
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%
____ . _ .
/# /_\_ |\_|/__/|
| |/o\o\ / / \/ \ \
| \\_/_/ /__|O||O|__ \
/ |_ | |/_ \_/\_/ _\ |
| ||\_ ~| | | (____) | || THE BEST THEORY WE HAVE:
| ||| \/ \/\___/\__/ //
| |||_ (_/ || THE ONE ON THE LEFT IS THE TACO
\// | | || BELL DOG AND I'M PRETTY SURE THE
|| | | ||\ OTHER ONE IS FRED FLINTSTONE
||_ \ \ //_/
\_| o| \______//
/\___/ __ || __||
/ ||||__ (____(____)
(___)_)
%
___ __
/\ //\\ / / // \\ //\\
//\\ // \\ / / \\ \\ // \\
// \\ // ^
/ / || \\ // ^
|| __ || || / /___ || || ||
|| __ || || /___ / || || ||
|| || \\ _
/ / || || \\ _
/\ /\ \\ // / / // // \\ //
\/ \/ \\//
/ / \\___// \\//BAC
\ /
IT'S A NEW DATING SYSTEM !!!!!!!!! A.C. MEANS ANNO COCKS
(YEAR OF OUR COCKS) BUT I DON'T KNOW WHAT D.C. MEANS
%
UNLESS YOU LIKE LITTLE
PELLETS OF RABBIT SHIT
ABSOLUTELY EVERYWHERE
LET ME ASSURE YOU THAT
THERE IS NO SUCH THING
AS A "HOUSE RABBIT"
__
/ \`\ __
| \ `\ /`/ \ THAT'S RIGHT !!! I'LL FUCK UP YOUR SHIT
\_/`\ \-"-/` /\ \ /
| | \ | /
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/' //=== /==(
( /' __\ ( __\) TODAY I WILL
( /~\( o |_o_( FUCK BETTY'S
(( ( _____) TIGHT ASS
\\_/ , )
\ `\ ~-.._ /
._)/ \ /
`/ \ ./
Ts97 / `~/~'
/ /
'~~-.__./
%
I JAMMED A HACKY SACK
UP MY ASS AND I DON'T
/ THINK I CAN GET IT
__---__ / BACK OUT
_- _--______
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%
.
. !\ _ HOLY FUCK
l\/ ( /(_
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DRINK KEYSTONE l !
j___L -Row
GAHBHAGLHBLAHLUG (_____)
| |
%
__ __
(__\ ------- /__)
\/ \/
/ \_____/ \ BHAGHLBHAGUGH
<<::. CBR .::> IT'S HARD TO TALK
\:( )_( ):/ WITH A BIG FAT
*-|`-- --'|-* COCK IN YOUR MOUTH
\ | | /
| |/#\| |
: ||#|| :
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\#/
%
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V BBBRRXVItIIttBBt::,,,,,,,,,,,,,,:,:::=+IIi++=======
X LET'S SUCK COCKS BBBBRRRIVRXYi:::,,,,,,::,,,:,,,,,,,iYVRBBB+++====,:
V BBBBXt:::,:,:::,::,:,,,::::::::::;:===tYV++;=+===;,
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%
________________________________
/ o oooo ooo oooo o o o /\
/ oo ooo oo oooo o o o / /
/ _________________________ / / SOMEBODY PLAY AXEL'S THEME
/ // / // /// // /// // /// / / / /
/___ //////////////////////////_/ /
\____\________________________\_\/ FC
%
LOOK AT WHAT BUGS IS HOLDING
/\ _:()_():_ /]
||_ : ._=Y=_ : / /
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[) \_/\ _/'='\ /-/\)
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| \ / /
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/ / \'=,
.----' / \ (\__
snd (((____/ \ \ )
'.\_)
THAT CREEPY LITTLE FAGGOT

%
.-""""--.
/ )
/ --"` I DID IT
/ _`:---. WITH AZRAEL
| .-' `\ ONCE
\ / .----'./
\ : ,-' ~(.).)\ /
\_| \ ._) | /
/ | \.__, /
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/ / _| (_\\
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jgs `=---`
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#####
####### #**#!!###
#**#!!!!## #****#!!!!#
#****###!!!# #*****#!!!!#
#*******#!!!# #******#!!!!#
#*********#!###!*!*!*#!!!!!# --
#!*!*!*!*!*!#!##########!!!!# /_
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#!...........#######.*****...............#.#..!!!!**#
#*.....##.............#..#...............#...#.!!****#
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#!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!*******#
#!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!*****#
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#!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!*##
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#!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!####!!!!!!****##
#!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!###****##!!!!******##
#!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!##**!!*****#!!!********#
#!!!!!!!!#!!!!!!!!!!!#!!!!!!!#***!!!!***!!!!**********#
#!!!!!!!!!!#!!!!!!!!!#!!!!!!!#****!!!!!*!!!!!!!!!!*****#
#!!!!!!!!!!!#!!!!!!!#!!!!!!!#*!!***!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!***#
#!!!!!!!!!!!!#!!!!!!#!!!!!!#*!!!!!*!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!*****#
#!!!!!!!!!!!!#!!!!!!#!!!!!#***!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!********#
#!!!!!!!!!!!!!#!!!!!!#!!!!!#****!!!!!!!!!!!!!!**********#
#!!!!!!!!!!!!!#!!!!!!#!!!!!#*****!!!!!!!!!!!!!!*********#
#!!!!!!!!!!!!!#!!!!!!#!!!!!#***!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!********##
##!!!!!!!!!!!!!#!!!!!!#!!!!!#*!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!*****#!*##
#!#!!!!!!!!######!!!!!!#!!!!!#**!!!!!!!!!!#########!!!!*#!!**##
#!#!#!!!!!!#!!!!!!!!!!!!#!!!!!#***!!!!!####******!!!#######!!**#
#!#!!##!!!!#!!!!!!!!!!!############*!!!#********!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!**#
#!#!!#!#!!#!!!#!!!!!!!#!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#***********!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#
#!#!!!#!#!#!!#!!!!!!!#!!!!#!!!!#!!!!!#**********!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!**#
#!!#!!!#!##!!#!!!!!!#!!!!#!!!!#!!!!!!#************!!!!!!!!!!****#
######### ##########!!!!#!!!!#!!!!!!#**********!!!!!!!!!!!!***#
#################************!!!!!!!!!!**#
#**********!!!!!#########
###############
%
/######\
/##########\
/ \###/ \
/ \#/ \
/\| |/\
| | \ ==\ /== / | |
\| \<|>\ /<|>/ |/ /|
\__ | - \ - | /#|
\#\ | | | /###|
\##\ | \| | /#####|
\###\ | _______ | /######|
\####\ | / \/ \/ \|/#######| I'M THE DUMBEST
|######\| |#########| GAYEST VAMPIRE YOU'VE
|########\______/##########| EVER SEEN AM I RIGHT
|#########\ /##########/ OR AM I RIGHT
|##########\ |#########/\
/###########\/########/###\
/################\######/########\
/##################\###/###########\
/###################\#/##############\
/######### COUNT LICKSALOT ########\
/###################/####################\
%
* . . *
. .
* ' * *
( HOLY FUCK I CAN'T )
* . ' ( BELIEVE WHAT AN )
( UNBELIEVABLE )
' . ( TOOL I AM
/ . *
.-'~~~~'-. /
. .-~\\\\__/ \__/`~-. .
.-~ (oo) (oo) ~-.
(_____//~~\\//~~\\______)
_.-~` `~-._
/O=O=O=O=O=O=O=O=O=O=O=O=O=O=O=O=O=O\ *
\___________________________________/.
JRO \x x x x x x x/ `.
. * \x_x_x_x_x_x/. ' . ___ .
`. `. .'| \'.
`. . `. | \ / |
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%
I AM TOTALLY
CHUGGING DOWN . .
THIS HUGE FAT \\ / \
COCK !!!!! ! \ ! \ /\
/\/\ .! L ! '.' !
.( ( )/\. /' \ / /
......<*) /\. / \ /' /' /\
.-.-.-.-.'+++\. /\/' \/' /' /'"\ / /
-'-'-'-'-.+++/' ./. /\........./ \......../ "'"' !
""""""" '\ !' \ ..../'
/ \ / /''
\ ! \
! /.... ....\ /'/
/ /'/ "---------------" \ ! /'
/"" /./ /"' /./ RUSS
%
.---. .---.
: : o : SEE THIS MOUTH
_..-: o : :-.._ / I CAN FIT AT
.-'' ' `---' `---' " ``-. LEAST TEN DICKS
.' " ' " . " . ' " `. IN HERE
: '.---.,,.,...,.,.,.,..---. ' ;
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.-""""-. .-""""-.
/ \ / \
/_ _\ /_ _\
// \ / \\ // \ / \\
|\__\ /__/| |\__\ /__/|
\ || / \ || /
\ / \ /
\ __ / \ __ /
/ '.__.' '.__.' \
WAS THAT THE | | | | SHUT UP WHERE
SYSTEM NINJA | | | | IS MY LIGHTER
%
_..._
.' ::::.
: :::::: LAST QUARTER OR ONLY HALF-GAY
: ::::::
`. :::::'
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: :::::::: WANING PISSDICKS
: ::::::::
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jgs `-.::''
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::::::::::: NEW MOON (THE GAYEST OF ALL)
:::::::::::
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%
.---. .---. ME MISS KIM!
: : o : /
_..-: o : :-.._ /
.-'' ' `---' `---' " ``-.
.' " ' " . " . ' " `.
: '.---.,,.,...,.,.,.,..---. ' ;
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|`-:_ BUHHHHH
,----....____ | `+. /
( ````----....|___ |
\ _ ````----....____
\ _) ```---.._
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-' `-' `-' `-' `-' `-' `-' `-' `-' `-' `-' `
%
. ---._
.' '.
: .. :
' _- _ '. ; GLHGALHAGHLGAHGAHLGA I'M A FAT BITCH
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"~~~ " ~ ~~~"
LET'S ALL BE GAY FOR CHRISTMAS

%
_,,_
.' '.
| a..a | YOU CAN'T TELL
,\_ \/ _/, BUT I'M JERKING
/`' `-.-'-`\ OFF INSIDE HERE
| \-'`|
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CAN I COME OUT OF THE CELLAR (I'M DONE BEING GAY NOW)
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ARE YOU KIM DO YOU KNOW KIM `;;;%%%%;;,. ,;;%%;;%%%;; FUCK OFF
DID SHE SEND YOU OR DID SHE `;%%;;%%%;;,;;%%%%%%%;;' I'M HERE
GIVE YOU A MESSAGE FOR GOD'S `;;%%;;%:,;%%%%%;;%%;;, FOR THE
SAKE I MISS YOU PLEASE COME BACK `;;%%%,;%%%%%%%%%;;; CHEESE
`;:%%%%%%;;%%;;;'
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%
#
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######## ONE DAY, ONE DAY I WILL BE
######## IMMORTAL
#########
########## THEN YOU WILL ALL BE SORRY
############ OH BOY WILL YOU ALL BE SORRY
##############
################ /
################ /
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############## / ####
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THE ANAL PROBINATOR
______
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%
LITERAL TRANSLATION FROM ANCIENT CHINESE TEXT READS:
"THIS GLORYHOLE HAUNTED - TURN BACK NOW"
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OH NO IT'S POISON IVY !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

oOOoOooOOOoOOooOOOOoOooOOooOOooOOOOoOoOOoO
THIS POISON IVY IS MAKING MY EYELIDS HEAVY
%
LORD ALIVE AM I GAY __----~~~~~~~~~~~------___
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// \ \ \ \ // // \\ \\ // \\ // \ \
~~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~~ ~~ ~~ ~~ ~~ ~~ ~~ ~ ~
IT'S THE QUEERSCAPADES !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

%
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HOW MUCH FOR A BLOWJOB LADY BUT I WANT FOREPLAY FIRST
\ /
\ _____ _____ /
/ / \ / / \
| | (((((((((O | | O |
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| | \ | |
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|_ |__ SCREW YOU BITCH __| _|
""" """ HAHA GET IT """ """
%
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| | ----- SOON I WILL BE IMMORTAL
| | AND THEN THEY WILL ALL STOP
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/ /|ooo |`'--'|| HOLY SHIT PEOPLE YOU HAVE NO IDEA
( )\_______/ || HOW BAD I'VE GOTTA PEE IN HERE
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/ | ||
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\ \ |- --| || ERF WAIT NEVERMIND
\ __| \___/ ||
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: : ^ \^ :/ ) MY TITS ARE
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| / -/ ' /
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%
.----.
===(_)== HERE COMES THE FISTERY
// 6 6 \\ /
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rrr wwwxxxxxxxxx .. xwwww...
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%
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%
____
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/ / 6 6 FUCK FOR TWENTY
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%
STOP STALKING ME
___________ ____
______/ \__// \__/____\
_/ \_/ : //____\\
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| | :| || \ \______/
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/____ /
/ \ /
\______\_________/
THIS MEANS YOU

%
_
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.-""-.//'
/_____C\___ I'M STARTING TO
/// 6 6~\~~` GROW HAIR IN WEIRD PLACES
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\ '='/ IS THAT NORMAL ??????
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%
HEY WHO FARTED
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%
___ ___ ___ ___ ___.---------------.
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\\/ __\/ __\/ __\/ __\/ __: \
\\'\__\'\__\'\__\ \__\'\_;-----------------`
\\/ \/ \/ \/ \/ : |
\|______________________;________________|
I PICTURE EACH ONE OF THE CHOCOLATE SQUARES

AS ONE OF THE PEOPLE I HATE & THEN I WHEN I
EAT THEM THEY CRY & SCREAM & SO I CAN PROVE
ONCE & FOR ALL THAT I AM A VAMPIRE & SYSTEM
NINJA & A WRITER & EDITOR OF A FAMOUS EZINE
%
_______ ______
' ' ' '
( WHITE ) _______ ( TRASH )
,_ _____, / \ ,___ __,
| | BEER | |
\ | | /
oO)-. \___ ___/ .-(Oo
/__ _\ | /_ __\
\ \( | / | )/ /
\__|\ | ()~() | /|__/
' '--' (-___-) '--' '
==`-'==
Steve
%
STOP CRANK CALLING ME
I'M THINKING ABOUT ALLEGRA /
\ ^^
^^ .. ..
[] []
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.: :[]: :-. \ ,-: :[]: :.
.: : :[]: : :`._ SHUT YOUR WORD HOLE ,.': : :[]: : :.
.: : : :[]: : : : :-._ _,-: : : : :[]: : : :.
_..: : : : :[]: : : : : : :-._________.-: : : : : : :[]: : : : :-._
_:_:_:_:_:_:[]:_:_:_:_:_:_:_:_:_:_:_:_:_:_:_:_:_:_:_:[]:_:_:_:_:_:_
!!!!!!!!!!!![]!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!![]!!!!!!!!!!!!!
^^^^^^^^^^^^[]^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^[]^^^^^^^^^^^^^
[] []
[] SHUT UP ALL OF YOU []
[] []
~~^-~^_~^~/ \~^-~^~_~^-~_^~-^~_^~~-^~_~^~-~_~-^~_^/ \~^-~_~^-~~-
~ _~~- ~^-^~-^~~- ^~_^-^~~_ -~^_ -~_-~~^- _~~_~-^_ ~^-^~~-_^-~ ~^
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~ ~- ^~ - ~^ - ~ ^~ - ~~ ^~ - ~
%
I'M STEVE
/
.:::. /
.:::. /:::::\
I'M PAUL /:':':\ | _ | WE'RE JUST TWO BIG
\| _ | | (_` | DONGS LOOKING FOR LOVE
\ | |_) | | ,_) |
| | | | |
jgs | | /`'---'`\
/`'---'`\ `'-----'`
`'-----'`
%
I'M GOING TO CLIMB OUT OF THIS TERMINAL AND SUCK YOUR DICK
______________________________
| % |
| ____________/\____________ |
! | | / \ | |
`, .-,| | / \ | |
: .-\,", .-"".&-_-.=~@;~""-. | |
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| | `-_ /'-.__.-``, | |
| | `/ {>8<} ; | | |
| |_____/____o____| |______| |
| | | |
| | | [] |
|_________________( __)________|
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_.-" -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=/ ',',|-=-=- "-._
,"__ =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=: / / /'=-=-=-=- __",
|_ ___________________"-_`'___________ _|
\_____________________________________/
%
WHY DID YOU RAPE ME THERE
.-""""""-.
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%
YOU GUYS I DON'T
I WANT A THINK MY MOM EVEN
COOKIE | LIKES ME THIS SUCKS
\ /
\ _(_ _?_ >*< /
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('.`.,') ('.','') (.'.'.')
`--'"' `--'"' `--'"'
JUST GOT HERE SHUT UP YOU INSIPID
AND ALREADY LITTLE SHITS
LIKING THE COCKS / BUT YOU GUYS I
\ ,,, _,_ _@_ / SERIOUSLY
_/. .\_ _/- -\_ _/, ,\_ THINK I MIGHT
(.\_o_/.) (.\_-_/.) (,\_e_/') BE GAY
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YOUR DICK GOES HERE

ALSO YOUR FIST IF YOU PLEASE
%
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. + . . . . . .
. . . *
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| . . . +. + .
\|/ . . . .
. . V . * . . . . + .
+ . . . +
. . + .+. .
. . . + . . . . .
. . . . . . .HOWEVER YOUR
* . . . + . .BALLS ARE .
. . . + . . * .OVER IN THIS
. + . . . .. + . REGION
. . . . * . * . +.. . ------>*
. . . . . . . . + . . +
%
________
(((_()___)
|| ^ |
|| ^ |
|| ^ |
// ^ "
/// ^ `"
((((((()))))))
||| ^ ||
||| ^ COKE ||
||| ^ ||
||| ^ ||
||| ^ ||
||| ^ ||
||| ^ ||
"\\ ^ //
==========
MORE LIKE A CHOKE !!!!!!!
AM I RIGHT PEOPLE ???????

%
_____|~~\_____ _____________
_-~ \ | \
_- | ) \ |__/ \ \
_- ) | | | \ \
_- | ) / |--| | |
__-_______________ /__/_______| |_________
( |---- | |
`---------------'--\\\\ .`--'
`||||
SLEEPY HEAD, SLEEPY HEAD

I DREAM OF JEANIE
ALSO BONERS
AND KIM BUT THOSE ARE NIGHTMARES
%
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%
CLEARLY I LIKE TO EAT
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| | | | | | | | | |
|___/ | | | / | __ |__ | /
| \ | | |__/ | \ | |__/
| | \ / | \ | | | MGM | \
|___/ \__/ | \ \____/ |_____ | \
%
HE'S GRINNING BECAUSE HE CAN SEE
YOUR UNDERWEAR WITH HIS X-RAY VISION
... ....... .o----------o. ...---o

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%
--------------------
/ ______________ \
/+++/ | | \++++\
| |
| |
| 1 2 3 |
| 4 5 6 |
| 7 8 9 |
| H 0 # |
+--------------+
THE H BUTTON SENDS HOOKERS

RIGHT FUCKING QUICK
%
,-._,,_,-.
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|=|O__O|=| CALVIN AND I ARE
;`-'(__)`-'; MORE THAN JUST FRIENDS
',_ -. _,` IF YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN
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%
DID I MENTION THAT I KNOW I DON'T KNOW WHY THE
KARATE AND CAN PUT YOU IN FUCK I HANG OUT WITH
A NON-LETHAL MODIFIED YOU ANYWAY
CHOKE HOLD
\ /
\ /
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##### | #####
# _ _ #|# _ _ # ENORMOUS COCK AND BALLS
# | #
| ############
# # FLYING UP YOU AT HIGH SPEEDS
| # #
# # WAIT WHERE DID THE PROPELLER
| | # # | | COME FROM
| | # # |
| | | # .-. # |
#( O )# | | |
| ################. .############### |
## _ _|____| ### |_ __| _ ## OUCH
# | | #
# | | | | | | | | #
###################################### AHGHLBHALGUGHLUGH HELP
# #
#####
OOOOOOO|OOOOOOO
U
%
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SOME ASSHOLE SEVERED MY HEAD

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%
...---...
../ / | \ \..
./ / / | \ \ \.
/ / / | \ \ \
/ / / | \ \ \
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
\ | /
\ | /
\ | /
\ | /
\ | /
\ | /
\ | /
\ | / WHEN I GET DOWN ON THE GROUND
\ | / WE'RE GOING AT IT LIKE THERE'S
\ | /(__) NO TOMORROW AND ROLLING STONE
\|/ (oo) SAID SODOMY WAS OUT OF STYLE
/---++--\/
/ | || || OR HEY WE COULD JUST HAVE A LATTE
* ||-++-||
^^ ^^
%
I'M A FUCKING FRUIT BAT
_________________ _________________
~-. \ |\___/| / .-~
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,,,,,,
i miss kim o#'9MMHb':'-,o,
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''-.oo,oo.-'' HERE WE KNOW THAT YOU FREAK
%
J U S T
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^-._^~~--..__.-^ ( ^) / ( ^) ( ^) / ( ^) /
^~~--...-' "" (^) "" "" (^) "" (^)
. . .
EVERYBODY FUCKING HATES YOU

%
OH MY SAVE IT FOR THE PAPERS
IT'S THAT NASTY YOU'RE GOING TO MECCA PAL
PRICK AGAIN NOW GET DOWN ON IT AND DO GOOD
////\ ((((
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\ o/ \- /
/\|/\ () /\|/\
// ' \\ || // . \\
========================
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|::::::\ ':. | \ ';:: /.-._ , /
|:::::::| :. / ,`\;:: \'./0) |_.-/ THERE'S A REASON
;:::::::| ': | \.`;::. `` | | I ALWAYS HAVE MY
\::::::/ :' / _\::::' / / TAIL IN THE AIR
\::::| :' / ,=:;::/ |
\:::| :' | (='` // / |
\::\ `: / '--' | /\ |
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|:::::::::::::|::::/::::::://
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/ //// //// //// //
EEE X X A M M // / //// / /// // // /
E X X A A MM MM //// /// / //// // // / /
EEE X AAA M M M / / /// // //// // // / / / / /
E X X A A M M //// / / ///// // // / / / / / /
EEE X X A A M M //// / / / / // // / / / / / /
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@ // / / / / / /
TTT I M M EEE @@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@// / / / /
T I MM MM E @@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@ / / / /
T I M M M EEE @@ | }@@@@@@ \| @@@@@@ / / /
T I M M E @ -o-{ @@@@ --o -@@@@@/ /
T I M M EEE @ / \ @@@@ /{ \ @@@@@/
@@/ { @@@@@@} @@@@@
@@@@@@@ @@@@@@@@@@ THIS HEAD MASK WILL
! ! ! @@@@@@@ @@@@@@@@@ MAKE ALL THE TEACHERS
! ! ! @@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@ THINK I'M SUPER SMART
! ! ! @@@ @ @ @ @ @@@@ !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
! ! ! @@ @ @ @ @ @@@
@@@@@@@@@@@@
! ! ! @@@@@@@@
%
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THAT'S RIGHT o$$$$$""""$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$
MINNIE YOU o$$$$$" "$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$"
SUCK IT $$$$$" "$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$"
o$$ $" "$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$"
JUST SUCK IT $$ " "$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$"
BABY $" $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$"$$$$$$$$"
o$ $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$
WAIT WHAT $ "$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$
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UP AT ME $ $$ $$ $ $o $$$$"" "$$$$
WHILE YOU'RE $o $" $ $ "$ $$$" "$$"
DOWN THERE $ $ $ $ $ $$ $$
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\ \ \ \ \ /\ / / / / / |
\ \ \ \ \/__\/ / / / / |
\ \ \ \/____\/ / / / |
\ \ \/______\/ / / |
\ \/________\/ / |
\/__________\/ * DICKS !!!!!!!!!!!
/ \
/ \
\
%
~#############oo----
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oo
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I'M GAYEST ooooooo"o$"""o"$"$o
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NO WAY DUDE oo$$"$" " " " o ""$$$$o o"$
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"""""
%
__---__
_- _--______
__--( / \ )XXXXXXXXXXXXX_
--XXX( O O )XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX-
/XXX( U ) XXXXXXX\
/XXXXX( )--_ XXXXXXXXXXX\
/XXXXX/ ( O ) XXXXXX \XXXXX\
XXXXX/ / XXXXXX \__ \XXXXX----
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--XXXXXXX--------------- XXXXX--
\XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX-
--XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX-
I AIN'T 'FRAID OF NO COCKSUCKERS

%
M I S S I O N T O M A R S
'|| ||' | '||''|. .|'''.|

||| ||| ||| || || ||.. '
|'|..'|| | || ||''|' ''|||.
| '|' || .''''|. || |. . '||
.|. | .||. .|. .||. .||. '|' |'....|'
WHERE NO MAN HAS SUCKED BEFORE ...

%
SERIOUSLY DO YOU
THINK SHE'LL COME BACK
\
_,_ __ __
._(@I@)_. / \-/ \
.--{___}--. ._\ | /_.
.-/ Y \-. .__\__Y__/__.
/ | \ _{___}_
\__/-\__/ ' (@I@) '
~^~
JESUS MAN GET OVER IT AND

GET YOURSELF A NEW WOMAN
BUT THIS TIME DON'T TELL

HER YOU'RE A VAMPIRE
%
.-'-.
/' `\
/' _.-.-._ `\
| (|) (|) |
| \__"__/ | BEING A SNAKE SUCKS
\ |v.v| / BECAUSE I CAN'T JERK OFF
\ | | | /
`\ |=^-| /'
`|=-=|'
| - |
|= |
|-=-|
_.-=-=|= -|=-=-._
( |___| )
( `-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-` )
(`-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-`)
(`-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-`)
(`-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-`)
(`-=-=-=-=-=-=-`)
jgs `-=-=-=-=-=-=-`
%
o .
. . .
. O o .
. o .
o O.
. o O
___o_
| O | #
|o .| ##
| .o| ### BONGHITS FOR ALGERNON
|O | #
| .O| (_)
__|o .|_//
/ . O o o\
/. O .o .O .\
|^^^^^^^^^^^^^|
| |
\ /
\_________/ hp
%
ooo
"$$oo
"$o"o
MY ASS HURTS $$$o"
$$$$$o"
ooo$$$$$$$$o o
oo$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$o$ o
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$$$ o$$$$$"" "o$""""$$$"$""$"oo $$$$o$o
$$$o o$$"" o " " " o ooo" oo$$$$$$ "$$$$$$$$$$
$$$$$"o " o o" o"o$$$$$$$$$ """$$$$$$o
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" "
%
^^ .-=-=-=-. ^^
^^ (`-=-=-=-=-`) ^^
(`-=-=-=-=-=-=-`) ^^ ^^
^^ (`-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-`) ^^ ^^
( `-=-=-=-(@)-=-=-` ) ^^ \
(`-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-`) ^^ I MISS KIM
(`-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-`) ^^
(`-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-`) ^^
(`-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-`) ^^ \
(`-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-`) ^^ SHUT YOUR FUCKING MOUTH
(`-=-=-=-=-=-=-`) ^^ ^^
(`-=-=-=-=-`) \
`-=-=-=-=-` JESUS CHRIST WHAT IS UP WITH THIS GUY
^^
\
ONE OF THESE FUCKING DAYS
%
____ ____
_=______________________-_ /,,,,\_____________/,,,,\
=< ' | ========|______________ |,( )/,,,,,,,,,,,,,\( ),|
\| | ========|______________ \__,,,,___,,,,,___,,,,__/
/ | ========|/ /,,,/(')\,,,/(')\,,,\
| | ========|' |,,,,___ _____ ___,,,,|
|___| ________' |,,,/ \\o_o// \,,,|
'.... / | | |,,| | |,,|
|......| \ | |,,| \__/|\__/ |,,|
|......|-____' \,,\ \_/ /,,/
|......| \__\___________/__/
'.......| _____________/,,,,,,,,,,,,,\_____________
|.......| / \,,,,,,,,,,,,,___________,,,,,,,,,,,,,/ \
|_______) ( ),,,,,,,,,,,/ \,,,,,,,,,,,( )
\_/_________,,/ \,,_________\_/
OKAY LISTEN UP THESE ARE MY DEMANDS

I WANT ONE COPY OF FANGORIA (A RECENT
ISSUE NOT THE OLD STUFF) AND THREE
BOXES OF MILK DUDS AND I WANT KIM UP
HERE FRONT AND CENTER OR THE TEDDY
BEAR GETS IT
%
CASE #729357035
WANTED FOR DICKLICKING AND FATFUCKING IN THE FIRST DEGREE
SUSPENDED TIME SERVED
WHEN MOVING INTERSTATE MUST REGISTER AS A SEX OFFENDER
AND A FUCKING FAGGOT
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$ "o$$"$o"$"o" o$"$"$ " ""$o " ""o"$ $ $oo oo
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$o"o""o$$ $ o" " o $oo "o"o o $"$ " o" o
$ $o" " $oo $o "o" o"
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$ $"o" " " "o""" "o o " "o" "o o
$$$o$"o" " o " "o o " " "$"o$o
"$$o$ $o"o" o o""o" $ " $ $ o o " "$ $"$$o
"$$$"o$ o " $ o "o$o$oooo$oo"oooo " " $ $"$$"
"$"$o" o o o" """$"o""""o$$"" " " o "o"$o"
"$$$o"o o " "o"o"o$ $o" " o o "o"o$
$$$o$o $ "o" o " o o " $"$o
$$$$o$o"oo" "o o o o o $ $$$$o
"$$$$o$$o$o$o o " o "o $ oo$o$$o$$o
"$$$$$$o$o$o$ o " o"$o"$o$o$$$"$$$o
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$o"$"o$o$o$$o$$$$"$$$$o" "o""o$$"$$$"o$ $ " " "o$"$o$$$"$o"o$ o o
"o$o$$$o$$$o"$$$$$$$$$"$$"o o " "o" o" " o "o$"$$$$"$$"$$$o$o$ oo$ o
$$o$$o$$$o$$$$$"$$$$$o$$"$$oo o oo$$$"$$$$"$"$$$$o$o$"$oo$ $oo"
%
__ WHAT DOES A WORM DO
\_}
.-./--. \
/# ^^ \ __
| | ("_\ .-. .-. /)
\ / \\_//^\\_//^\\_//
`"`"` `"` `"` `"`
IT WRIGGLES ON THE GROUND AND MISSES KIM

AND CALLS EVERYBODY LIARS
/
__
(\ .-. .-. /_")
\\_//^\\_//^\\_//
`"` `"` `"`
__ DING
\_}
.-./--. /
/# ^^ \ __
| | ("_\ .-. .-. /)
\ / \\_//^\\_//^\\_//
`"`"` `"` `"` `"`
%
ooo$o$$$$"$o"oooo
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o o o o o$$$$$o$$$o"$$o$"$o$"$"o$"oo$o"o$"o$"o$o$ $o " "o" "
oo $ o o$$"$$"$$o$"$$o$o"$o"$o$o"o$o"o$"o"o$"o"o"$"o$o o"""$ "o
"o"o""o o$$$$"$$$o$$"$o$o$$"$"o$o$"o$o"$o"$"o"$"$ $o$o"o$"" """o$ "
o$oo"o" $$$"$$$$o$$o$"$o$o"$"$"o$ $o$o"$o"$o"$"o"$"o$o"$ $ " "
$$ " o$$$$$"$o$$o$$$$o"$"$"o$"o$o$ $"o"$ $"$o"$o$ $o"$"o$ " o
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$oo "$$$o""o$$$"$o"$o"$o$"o$"o$"o$"o$"o$o$o"o$"o$o" $ oo" " "o
$oo o oo"$$$ "o$$$"$"$o"$o"$o"$ $o$o$"o$"oo"o$"o"o" $o"$o$$$$o$o$$"""
$$$$$$$"""$$$o $ $$o$"$"$o"$o"$"o"o"o$o"$o"$"o""" o$ "
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"" """"""$$$$$$$$"$$o
$$$o$$$"$$o$
$$$$o$$"$$"$
"$$$o$$$"""
THE HITCHHIKER'S GUIDE TO USELESS SHIT

%
#XXXX\\ #/---`
###XXX// - \\\-##= - \\\
##XX///-` ` -- \\##- \ \\
###XX//- = \ #/ - - \\
###XX//- # #= = = ||
###XX |##- / #X- ==||
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##X| | #-/ | | ||------ \)
#|| | #- | | || | |
\|| | | | | || | |
|| | | | | || | |
|| | | | | ||_______/)
|| | | | | ||=====//)
|| | | | | ||
|| | | | | ||
\| | | | | |/
===| | | |====
===============
HAVE A COLD ONE ON ME !!!!

LET'S SUCK UNTIL WE GET DIZZY !!!!!!
%
.-.
I'M HERE FOR '-'
A HEAD COUNT //
_..---._/|
OH WHO AM .' ." '-.
I KIDDING /__/ \ *
====_____ __| :
GHLAGHALG /# #""" | /()\ : ..*
GLGALGHGH |# # | \__/ : .''
GLHAGLHHG \#___#____| / :::.. .
\______________|_..._: .. '*
() // /\||||))))))) ' . .
.( \_ \\_\// _-'.'/ | * ..
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| .""" '. | .
.___| |__| (c) NamelessOne
'.__..."""
%
,--.
/ '. DON'T COME ANY CLOSER OR
| ,-.-. \ I'LL SUCK YOU OFF
\ `-'-' |
,--._.-`._/ \_/ I SWEAR TO GOD I'LL DO IT
_.--' / | `--._
.--''-' _ |, / `--._ I'M A PROFESSIONAL
,-' _.-' `. '-' '.
_,' ,--' /\ __ '-.
/ | /' `-.-- .' `--. `\
| / /\ / ,-' \ _.-\ \ |
| | /' | | / `--' . \ \
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| / / .' | / `\ | \ |
-' | / / | | \ | '.
-' | / / | _/ \
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/` \ | \ -' | /\ |/
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/ | | / \ | `\ `'
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/ \ | |
\ /`-, \ \_/
/ \ \ \ )
|,--,| \_/`-' S-v
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`--'
***** FARTIFIED !!!!! MIT IODINE !!!!! *****

%
LORDY I'M A BLOATED IRISHMAN OR WHATEVER
@@ .##@@::;%%&&00'
@><@ .###@@::;%%&&00'
________) .###@@::;%%&&00'
| | .###@@::;%%&&00'
_ _|===LI===|_ .###@@::;%%&&00'
/ \_(____________) .###@@::;%%&&00'
\ / (88 o o 88) .###@@::;%%&&00'
\/\ 88: 7 :88` .###@@::;%%&&00'
\/\ '88'=='88' .###@@::;%%&&00'
\ \__'8888'__________.###@@::;%%&&00'
\___<\""/>_____/_/_-'##@@::;%%&&00'
/ >< \ .###@@::;%%&&00'
/__/--\__\ (oO@OoO@@o@oO@@o)
'-.______.-' /`"""""""""""""`\
jgs _|_||_|_ | |
___LI)||(LI___ | |
( ~~ || ~~ ) \ /
`-----''-----` '.___________.'
%
_ _
|_| WELCOME TO POOLAND |_|
| | | |
_| |_ POPULATION: _| |_
-| | | | _ _ | | | |-
| | | | |' | YOU | `| | | | |
\ . / \ . . /
\ , / \ . /
| . |_ _ _ _ _ _| , |
| .| |_| |_| |_| |_| |_| | . |
| , | . . . . | .|
| . | . . . . , |. |
___----_____| . |. , _______ . | , |---~_____
_---~ | | . /+++++++\ . | . | ~---_
|. | . |+++++++| . | . |
__ | . | , |+++++++|. . _|__ |
____--`~ '--~~__ . |++++ __|----~ ~`---,
-~--~ ~---__|,--~' ~~----_____-
%
_________________
____/#################\____
___/################,##########\___
_/################/##/ \##\##########\_ I MEAN REALLY PEOPLE
/#################/\##| |##/\###########\ HOW EASY DO YOU THINK
/##################\ \#| |#/ /############\ IT IS TO STICK YOUR HEAD
|##DWB###############\ \| |/ /#########JRB##| THROUGH A TOMBSTONE
|####################{{{\ /}}}##############|
|###################{{<.> <.>}}#############| ow
|#####################{ | | }###############|
|#####################{ | | }####_#######__#| shit
|#####################/_| |_\##_( )###__( )_
|####################{(_)_(_)}( ` )_( '__ ` )
|#####################{VV_VV}##(__( `)_( )-` ) um
|#####################\^^))^/######( )_') )
|######################--((-########( ' _)__)
|########################))##########(__)###| GHLAGHLBHALGUGHLUG
|########################(##################| NOW I'M STUCK
|###########################################|
|###########################################| HALP
|###########################################|
|###########################################|
\ | /########| |################################| \ | /
_\|/|#######/ \####################\|/########|__\|/___
\ /
\ /
V
%
BE GAY WITH ME
(IN THE AFTERLIFE)
C'MON PLEASE
I'M MADE OF SLASHES AND BACKSLASHES
AND SOME DASHES AND THESE TWO DOTS
DO YOU WANT MONEY
___
/ \\
/\\ | . . \\
////\\| ||
//// \\ ___//\
/// \\ \
/// |\\ |
// | \\ \ \
/ | \\ \ \
| \\ / /
| \/ /
| \\/|
| \\|
| \\
| |
|_________\
%
____________________________________ ______________
|------|------| __ __ __ | ___________ | () |
| FAGS | SUCK | || | | | | | | | | | | ___|
|------|------| || | | | | | | |____| |____| || D |
| DICK | SUCK | || |__| |__| |__| ________________ ||| I |
|------|------| | ________ ______ ______ | SUCK A COCK | ||| P |
| FAGS | LICK | |SUPER | |______| |______| | FOR JESUS | ||| S |
|------|------| || |FUCKING | |______| |______| |________________| |||___|
| GAY | BONG | || |GAY IN | ________________ ___|
|------|------| || |EFFECT | LOW->| /\ DICKLICKING| _________ | H |
| FAGS | WANG | -------- BIOS | \/ (1) ||_________| | O |
|------|------| || ______ J ______ |________________| _________ | M |
| FAGS | DONG | || |______| 2 |______| ________________ |_________| |___|
|------|------| || ________ ______ | /\ KILL YOURSE| ___|
| FAGS | SUCK | |________| |______|| \/ (2) | _________ | O |
|------|------| () HIGH->|________________| |_________| | S |
| FAGS | DUHH | ________ _________ _____________ _________ | ! |
|______|______|__ |________| |_________| |_____________| |_________| |___|
| __ QUEERVGA-1623D _ () |
|LLLLLLLLLLLLLL| |LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL| |___|
|
|
%
_,.-------.,_
,;~' '~;,
,; ;,
; HI I'M DEAD ;
,' ',
,; LET'S FUCK ;,
; ; . . ; ;
| ; ______ ______ ; |
| `/~" ~" . "~ "~\' |
| ~ ,-~~~^~, | ,~^~~~-, ~ |
| | }:{ | |
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| ---;' / | \ `;--- |
\__. \/^\/ .__/
V| \ / |V
| |T~\___!___!___/~T| |
| |ÌIII_I_I_I_IIII'| |
| \,III I I I III,/ |
\ `~~~~~~~~~~' /
\ . . / -dcau
\. ^ ./
^~~~^~~~^
%
1995
Jan Feb Mar

S M Tu W Th F S S M Tu W Th F S S M Tu W Th F S
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 1 2 3 4 1 2 3 4
8 9 10 11 12 13 14 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 5 6 7 8 9 10 11
15 16 17 18 19 20 21 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 12 13 14 15 16 17 18
22 23 24 25 26 27 28 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 19 20 21 22 23 24 25
29 30 31 26 27 28 26 27 28 29 30 31
Apr May Jun

1 1 2 3 4 5 6 1 2 3
2 3 4 5 6 7 8 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 4 5 6 7 8 9 10
9 10 11 12 13 14 15 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 11 12 13 14 15 16 17
16 17 18 19 20 21 22 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 18 19 20 21 22 23 24
23 24 25 26 27 28 29 28 29 30 31 25 26 27 28 29 30
30
Jul Aug Sep
1 1 2 3 4 5 1 2
2 3 4 5 6 7 8 6 7 GAY DAY 11 12 3 4 5 6 7 8 9
9 10 11 12 13 14 15 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 10 11 12 13 14 15 16
16 17 18 19 20 21 22 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 17 18 19 20 21 22 23
23 24 25 26 27 28 29 27 28 29 30 31 24 25 26 27 28 29 30
30 31
Oct Nov Dec
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 1 2 3 4 1 2
8 9 10 11 12 13 14 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 3 4 5 6 7 8 9
15 16 17 18 19 20 21 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 10 11 12 13 14 15 16
22 23 24 25 26 27 28 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 17 18 19 20 21 22 23
29 30 31 26 27 28 29 30 24 25 26 27 28 29 30
31
%
____ __.---""---.__ ____
/####\/ \/####\
(/-----) (------)
\__OO/ \OO__/
__/ \__ I'M GOING TO TAKE
.-" . . "-. THE BIGGEST SHIT
| | \.._ _../ | | YOU'VE EVER SEEN !!!!!
\ \ \."-.__________.-"./ / /
\ \ "--.________.--" / /
___\ \_ _/ /___
./ ))))) ((((( \.
\ /
\ \_ _/ /
\ \____/""-.____.-""\____/ /
\ \ / /
-. .| ./.
." / | - / | - ".
." / | - / | - ".
/.-./.--.|.--.\ /.--.|.--.\.-.|
%
___,@
/ <
,_ / \ _, DON'T WORRY
? \`/______\`/
,_(_). |; (e e) ;|
\___ \ \/\ 7 /\/ _\8/_
\/\ \'=='/ | /| /|
\ \___)--(_______|//|//| YOU CAN WIPE THE AIDS OFF
\___ () _____/|/_|/_|
/ () \ `----'
/ () \
'-.______.-'
jgs _ |_||_| _
(@____) || (____@)
\______||______/
%
.--------------- ----.
| .----------------. |
| | .----------. | |
| | | | | |
| | | | | |
| | | | | |
| | '----------' .' |
| '-------------' |
| GAY BOY |
| |
| .-. .''. |
| .-' '-. .''.'..' |
| '-. .-' '..' |
| '-' |
| -- -- .' .
|__________________.'
%
CHECK OUT THE SIZE OF MY DETACHED DONG
SORRY I MEANT BONG
o o o
o"o o$ooo$oo oooooooooooooooo $$ "" "" "" "" " o" o" o" "
$ $""""""""""""$"$$$$"""""""" o ooooo$ oooo o$o$ $ "o" $ "o"o" o"o $ "o "o
$ "o$oo$ooo$ooo$ooo$$$$ooo$o$o"o""$$$o$$$$$$$$$$"o"o" o"o $ o" "o o" o" o"o"
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(\_/)
.:``";=-.,.-;'.66\ I WILL GIVE YOU
/,.'`,.'.'`.'.(='Y.)= TEN DOLLARS TO
//\.','.'./.'.,|`""` DO ME UP THE ASS
// /)./`"""\.'./
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jgs `" `" `"`"
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""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""
UNEN KRAUTEN UN LICKERBALLEN ACHTUNG !!!!! JUDEN SUCKEN

KRISTANEN CHOKEN FUCKEN TWENTY MARKS COCKSUCKEN
%
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THIS IS WHAT AIDS LOOKS LIKE
NOW DON'T YOU WISH YOU'D

SAID NO TO THAT LAST DICK
%
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ALL-TERRAIN
DRIVE
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RUSS /"" /./ /"'
============================================================
LOOK AT THAT FAGGOT DRAGON POUND THEM ON DOWN

%
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POLLY WANNA SUCK A COCK

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www
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_U_ || NO THIS IS NOT THE FUCKING
/` `''-----'P3 ELEPHANTITIS PICTURE GODDAMMIT
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molom Ll
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I VANT TO SUCK
YOUR DICK
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XXXXXXXXX
WELCOME TO IRELAND XXXXXXXXXXXXX
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
XXXXXXXXXX XXXXX
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XX X X XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
XX XXX XXXXX XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
XXX XXXXX XXXX XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
XX XXX XXX XX XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
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X XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
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%
LET ME TURN THIS MOTHERFUCK UPSIDE DOWN
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$$$$$
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$$ $ $
$$ $ $ DEEP SPACE AMBASSADOR TO
$$ $ $$$ PLANET COCKSUCKER ??!? SIRS
$$$ $ $ $$$ I WOULD BE HONORED TO
$$$ $ $$ REPRESENT THE FEDERATION IN
$$$ $ $$ THIS FUNCTION IN FACT I'M
$ $$$ $ $$ READY TO LEAVE NOW
$ $$$$$ $ $$$
$ $$$$$$$$$$$
$ $
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$$$$$ Lester5374@aol.com
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WHO THE FUCK STOLE __.-"..--,__
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UP PERISCOPE JOLLY GOOD OLD CHAP
\ YOU'RE SPORTING A NO-NONSENSE
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%
BLAH BLAH BLAH NO FUCKING DUH
I NEVER SHUT UP I'M TIRED OF YOUR KIM STORIES
\ /
______ _____
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|`\_____\ /_____/ |
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!~~------~~/----`+----/ \----+----\~~-====--~~!
\ \___ / \ ___/ /
>------\ \ < > / /------<
<_________________> <_________________>
%
I'M A TRILOBITE
/
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######~~~ ~o:~~###o--~~ ~~~####oo_ ~~ ~### ##o~~-_
PLEASE DON'T MAKE ME SUCK YOU OFF **AGAIN**
WHERE'S THE PARK RANGER WHEN YOU NEED HIM

%
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IN MY COUNTRY WE HAVE ROADS BUT NO CARS

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/ | | | GOAT ASS
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________
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\______/
| |
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/ | | \
\___)(___/
EITHER IT'S SOME BIZARRE FORM OF NIPPLE TORTURE
OR IT'S THE MOST DISTORTED PENIS IN HUMAN HISTORY
%
________________
| |_____ __
| SUCK A COCK | |__| |_________
|________________| |::| | /
/\**/\ | \.____|::|__| <
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\|||||||||||/ LOOK AT THAT SCHNOZ
/ \ PERFECT FOR SNIFFING DICK
| _ _
| .) .) THUS I AM THE AARDVARK OF
| ( \ DICKLICKERY
| \
| @ \
\ \ |
| (____ /\ ____/
| |
| ) |
%
CHECK THIS OUT HOMEY I HAVE THESE FUNKY ASS SAMPLES UP ON MY WEB PAGE THAT
EVERYBODY READS AND REALLY LIKES AND WHICH MAKES ME A WEB DEVELOPER AND A
CONSULTANT AND EVERYBODY LOVES ME AND EVERYTHING IS ALL HER FAULT
\ OKAY FUCKFACE IF YOU WOULD GET YOUR THUMB OUT

OF YOUR DUMB ASS MAYBE YOU'D REALIZE THAT
___ YOU'VE BLOCKED EVERYBODY FROM YOUR PAGES
,'._,`.
(-.___.-) ALSO MAYBE YOU COULD GET THAT THING OUT OF MY
(-.___.-) FACE
`-.___.-' /
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I HAVE NO BONER
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| || | )) I HAVE A FUCKING DISGUSTING FETISH
| || | ((((() AND THEREFORE I SHOULD BE IN PRISON
| || |((((((() /
| || | \ @ J
| || | L /\___
/ /\ \ &_/\/ / /\
/ / \ \ /\/ | |
/ / \ \ |: | |
Ooooo/ \ooooO |: | |
%
o8Oo./ THE ALIEN SPACE SHIP HAS ARRIVED LET THE GAYNESS BEGIN
._o8o8o8Oo_.
\========/
`------' hjw
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I SEE YOU MAKING FUN OF ME AND NOT BUYING MY "I'M THE VICTIM" STANCE
TIME FOR MORE DRASTIC ACTION: THE "I'M REALLY AWFULLY FAT AND CAN'T
MOVE AROUND WITHOUT OUTSIDE HELP" STANCE
%
$%%%$%$%$%$%$
$%$% $%$%$%$%$%$
%$%$ %%$%$%$%$%
$/ ___ ___ \$ MOM LAST NIGHT AFTER BAYWATCH AND
%$| / O \ / O \ |%$ AND SEAQUEST I THOUGHT FOR SURE
$%| | | | | |$% I'D HAVE DREAMS ABOUT WATER AND
%/ \% WET MYSELF BUT I DIDN'T - SEE HOW
| (. .) | MY SHEETS ARE ALL DRY? THAT'S
| | CAUSE I DIDN'T HAVE AN ACCIDENT.
| | SEE - HOW THEY'RE DRY? FEEL HOW
| )----------( | THEY'RE NOT EVEN DAMP. AND I MADE
----\ /---- MY BED TOO. ARE THOSE FIG NEWTONS
/ \___ ___/ \ THE REGULAR FIG NEWTONS OR THE
\__________/ OTHER KIND? OH GRODY.
%
_.-''|''-._ I LIKE TO PUNCH HOOKERS
.-' | `-. __\ WITH A ROLL OF QUARTERS
.'\ | /`. _ (..)\ /
.' \ | / `.\ \ ,_/
\ \ | / / \ )(_
`\ \ | / /' `|| \
`\ \ | / /' || /
`\ \ | / /' |\ `
jgs _.-`\ \ | / /'-._ | \
{_____`\\|//'_____} ____| /
`-' \_.-' \`.
~~~
%
.-""-.
(___/\ \
( |. . ) )
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%%%%%%%%%%% CRAM ME WITH FAT QUEER DICKS UPSIDEDOWN-WISE
%%%%%%%%
%%%%%% (JUST THIS ONCE)
%%%%%%%
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%% = %%
%% ;7; %%
%% 88888 %%
%% 888 %%
ejm97 %% 8 %%
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,~ HELP HELP WE'RE SINKING HALP
|\ / glub glubalghlghlgh
/| \ /
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~^~^ ~ '======' ~^ ~^~ ~^~^ ~^~ ~ \o/ ^~^~ ^~
jgs ~^~ ~^ ~^~ ~^~ ~^ ~ ~^~ ^~^ ~^~ ^~^ ^~
I JUST WISH I'D HAD TIME FOR

ONE LAST GOOD ASSFUCK
%
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%
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... MAYBE IF I BREAK MY ARM AND SET IT TWICE SHE'LL COME BACK TO ME ....
/
/
O _______________
/\_ _| |
_\__`[_______________|
] [ \, ][ ][
MY GOD MAN GROW SOME BALLS ALREADY
\
\
\o/
|
/ \
%
/\
/ \
/ \ /----------------------------\
.|______|. | Step 1: COLLECT UNDERPANTS |
T ' O O ' T | Step 2: JIZZ ON THEM |
Y. \ .Y | Step 3: PUT THEM BACK |
\ -' / /----------------------------/
" - "
-""~~""-.
/ '""""' \
| |"""" | |
| | "" | |
\ | ' | /
|~7~~~~~9~|
|_/ | \_|
| / \ |
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| | | |
|~~\_ |~~\_
|____\ |____\
%
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(::) || (::) 14 BALLS _.
"| || |" GET IT _(:)
'. || .' /::\
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/::::\ /:::\
\::::/ _\:::/
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\::::/::::\/::::\/::::\/::::\::::/
jgs `""`\::::/\::::/\::::/\::::/`""`
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| |
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| |
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jgs '-' '--'
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_.--.
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\__) _/ GET IT ?!?!?!?!??
| --'
/ | WELL TELL ME BECAUSE I
,' \ SURE AS FUCK DON'T
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O N E F A T F U C K
%
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/o o \ | I SWALLOW
| .' /_
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jgs /(( ` ` ))\
`======`
%
I USED TO STAR IN
) FAT BOY AND LITTLE MAN
( BUT I'M TOO COOL
, FOR THAT NOW
___)\
(_____)
jgs (_______)
%
,------.
`-____-' ,---------------------.
,i--i. | I AM EXCEPTIONALLY |
/ @ @ \ / DOUGHY AND THEREFORE |
| -.__.- | ___-' GOOD FOR FUCKING |
\. ,/ ------------------------------'
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%
___________
@(_)-------(_) BEEP BOOP BOOP BEEP
@ / ### \ PLEASE DIAL PHONE SEX ON ME
@ | ### | I'M GETTING HORNY AND DESPERATE
@ @|_________|
%
/\
||
||_ WHO PUT THE DILDO
.'___'. ON THE INDIAN GIRL'S
/WXWXWXW\ _ HEAD AGAIN????
| /` `\ | / \
(/ o o \)_| |
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(/'._=_.'\) |=|
<>/ \<>/ |
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%
o888o
88P .(
88 _/ -- WHAT'S THE HARDEST
### /_( PART ABOUT EATING A
#/ )) VEGETABLE?????
# \==/_
.=\ \; \\ PUTTING HER BACK IN
/ \ / \| \\ THE WHEELCHAIR
|-- ()--|\ .==.
\ / \ / ( () ) HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA
jgs `====' '==' HAHAHAHAHAH oh
%
___
.-9 9 `\ I AM A WALRUS AND I WANT
=(:(::)= ; SOME COOCHIE IS THAT
|||| \ HOW THE SONG GOES??????!?!?
|||| `-.
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/ \
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| `\ THE COOCHIE
; / | THOUGH
\ | /
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.ss. | (
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SSSS |
.-'SS'--'\ HUH HUH
/ __/
|_.)====( | I LIKES
" | | | THE SHEEPS
| | |
| | |
jgs | | |
'----'
%
__ __
__ \ / __
/ \ | / \
\|/
_,.---v---._ I'M ONE BIG BLUBBERY
/\__/\ / \ PILE OF DICKLOVING
\_ _/ / \
\ \_| @ __|
hjw \ \_ GHLAHGLAGAGLHALGUGH
`97 \ ,__/ /
~~~`~~~~~~~~~~~~~~/~~~~
%
DID YOU SEE THAT WEIRD PENIS THING IN THE
____,----._ MOVIE SE7EN???? THAT'S MY COUSIN SO
,--'| _|" o;. `.____ ____ ,,=====._ STEP THE FUCK BACK
.=|.':| U| ;:;: .- \,,`-.===='}.,'\// "`
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`=| :;| | ,: o `-_/``,-`====.}___/\\ _,
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~ ~`----'
%
FUCKING FREAKS
\ |: | / I'LL GIVE
\ |: | .-T-. / YOU TEN IF YOU
___|:_|__ / \ STICK IT UP MINE
FOR TWO DOLLARS // \ | }=) o o (={
I WILL STICK MY b\__/FIRE | \_===_/
\ THUMB UP |_______|(_) _.-"""-._
\ MY ASS |: | |\/`/+' _ '+\`\
\ .----. |: | \__\ +[_]+ /=|
/[====]\ |: | )====={\=\_
|'----'| |: | | . | `( )
|USMAIL| |: | |_/ \_|
| """" | |: | <__| |__>
| | |: | |=| |=|
|:____:| |: | |_| |_|
jgs |/----\| |: | (___Y___)
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
%
) SHIT IT'S THE COPS
.-"(" "-. /
.-|`'---'`| QUICK HIDE
| | | ____ |
\| | .'` __ `'. ____
`\ / | '--' |.'` __ `'.
jgs `"---"` \`------`/| '--' |
`------' \`------`/
`------`
%
____________________
| |_____ __
| FUCK MY BROWN ASS | |__| |_________
|___________________| |::| | /
/\**/\ | \.____|::|__| <
( o_o )_ | \::/ \._______\
(u--u \_) |
(||___ )==\
,dP"/b/=( /P"/b\
|8 || 8\=== || 8
`b, ,P `b, ,P
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%
THE GAYEST SPORT EVER INVENTED
________
o | __ |
\_ O | |__| |
____/ \ |___WW___|
__/ / ||
||
||
_______________||________________
%
"
***** *****
* ##* * *
* ####* * *
* ####* * * LET'S GET FUCKED UP AND
* ###* *### * SUCK EACH OTHER OFF
* * *#### *
* * * *#### * THAT WAY WHEN WE SOBER UP
* * * *## * TOMORROW WE CAN PRETEND
***** * ***** LIKE IT WAS THE ALCOHOL
* THAT MADE US DO IT AND
* THAT WE'RE STILL STRAIGHT
** ** **
* *** *** * COME ON YOU KNOW YOU
* *********** * WANT TO
* ### *
* ### %%%% *
* %%%%% %%%% *
* %%%%% %%%% *
%%%%% %%%%
%%%%% %%%%
%%%%%%%% ##
%%%%%% #
# ##
## ##
##
##
%
_..._ __O/ -- WAIT WHY
." : ". M DIDN'T I GET ONE
/ ' ' \ _..._ <<
; ' . \ ; ." : ".
\._;_._._._./ / ' ' \
jgs \ | / ; ' . \ ;
\ | / \._;_._._._./
\ | / \ | /
\O/ \ | /
/H\ ; : ;
>> \O/ -- SEE YA DUDE
U
<<
%
........
,''(());::::.
, ;::::::. SO IN CANADA
_|_ ___`;)::::; DO YOU STICK COINS
( 6)( 6)---,-.; IN STRIPPERS' PANTIES
`-'/ `-' .|; OR WHAT
|(..` -'.;
` --' ,::' ON A NEED TO KNOW
` ___. ,,'' BASIS HERE PEOPLE
| |
,_/`.___,'\_,
ak ,~' \/ o \/ `~.
%
A QUEER FLIGHT 102
* /=\ READY FOR LAUNCH
| | |
| /| |\ ROGER THAT
| / |-| \ YOU ARE GO FOR
|--| /|/---\|\ COCKSUCKING
|\/|_________|||||
|/\|_|_|_|_|_| | HOUSTON WE READ YOU
|--| | | FIVE BY FIVE GLHAHGLAGH
|\/| | | GHLAGHLAGHLAHG LHAGLHL
|/\| |~~~|
|--| | |
|\/|________ |._,|
|/\|_|_|_|_|/ / \ \
|--| |.|_|,|
|\/| | |
|/\| | |
|--| ,'| |`.
|\/| ,' | | `.
|/\| ,' /| | |\ `. |/
|--|,'____/ | | | \____`*-
/|\/| / / | \# /|\
/=+/\|####/--/.|_|__,---\ |\\ \
------"""""""|^|#^#^" _\|| \
\|/ `---- \ ---' \|/
-*-------------------------------*-
/|\ ool/|\
%
* *
*%%* _____ *%%*
*%%%%%* W*W*W*W *%%%%%*
*%%%%%%%* { /"\ } *%%%%%%%*
*%%%%%%%%%*{ /6.6\ }*%%%%%%%%%*
*%%%%%%%%%%%*{ ( = ) }*%%%%%%%%%%%*
*%%%%%%%%%%%%*{ ) ( }*%%%%%%%%%%%%*
*%%%%%%%%%%%* { \ / } *%%%%%%%%%%%*
*%%%%%%%%%%* ^ *%%%%%%%%%%*
*%%%%%%%* We are each of us *%%%%%%%*
jgs *%%%%* angels with only one wing.*%%%%*
*%%* And we can only fly *%%*
* by FLAP FLAP FLAPPING * LD
OUR BIG GAY WING
(ALSO SUCKING DICK)
%
THE WORST EXPLOSIVE DIARRHEA EVER
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.$$$$$$$$$$$$
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EVEN CRAPPIER THAN THE REAL THING

%
IF MY BALLS EXPLODE
IN THE WOODS CAN ANYONE
HEAR THEM EXCEPT ME OR SOMETHING
/
/
.-'"'-.
/ # \ / IF YOU DON'T SHUT
: # : .-'"'-. / THE FUCK UP I'LL
\ / / # \ EXPLODE THEM FOR YOU
\ / : # :
jgs `'q'` \ /
( \ /
) `'p'`
( )
) (
)
%
,----.___________,-,
,__ (________________|__|
__/()(_________________________/o(____)o(__ `` _
(__________________________(_(_(_(_(________Y_....-----====//
( , , , , , , (______________)-- ((
\_____________|________|[ )) JW ____ __ \\
|____| "" \.__-'`". \(__) \\\
|____| `"" ```"""=,))
I SUCK OFF SAILORS | |
`====
%
__@__
.' '.
\ | / _ _ \ | / EDWARD
__\|/| (o) (o) |\|/__ SCISSORHANDS
\ \ ' / / AT 5 MONTHS
\__'._ U _.'__/
`/ \`
\ /
/`"o"`\
jgs __/ \__
`--' '--`
%
_ _
/o\---/o\ DOES ANYONE
,' | `. ELSE BUT ME
| | | KNOW THAT FROGS
<`-----------'> DON'T FUCKING HAVE
/ `. `-----' ,' \ BELLY BUTTONS ?!??!?!
/ `-------' \
: | _______ | :
| `.,' `.,' | ANYONE ?!??!?!?
,`. \ o / ,'.
/ `. `. ,' ,' \
^^^^----^^^^-----^^^^----^^^^
%
,-------------.
/ \
/ __ __ \
| /,--. ,--.\ | IS IT CINCO DE
| \ | __ | / | MANGO AGAIN ALREADY????
| `-' / \`-/ |
\__ |_/\_| __/
/_ _\
| |,-.,-.,-.| | THIS IS GETTING
`-'| || || |`-' OLD FAST, PEOPLE
,-.`-'`-'`-',-.
\_|_,-.,-.,-|_/
| |_|_||_||_| hjw
`--______--' `97
%
.----.
.' \__ '.
THERE BETTER | __| _ :
BE PUSSY OUT V\/(0I0\/ |/
HERE OR I'M \ : / '
GOING RIGHT BACK (oYo)
IN THIS EGG /` `\__
_| _ Vuu: ,
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: /\ :
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I SUCK COCK FOR QUARTERS

%
/'. .'\ I APPEAR TO BE
\( \__/ )/ HALF RABBIT, HALF
___ / (.)(.) \ ___ VAMPIRE, AND HALF BEE
_.-"`_ `-.| ____ |.-` _`"-._
.-'.-'//||`'-.\ V--V /.-'`||\\'-.'-.
`'-'-.// || / .___. \ || \\.-'-'`
`-.||_.._| |_.._||.-'
\ (( )) / BZZZZ I VANT TO ...
jgs '. .' OH GOD I'M SPURTING
`\/` EVERYWHERE DOES SOMEONE
HAVE A TISSUE
%
_____
/ ____\
/ / ___ G E O C I T I E S . . .
(_( [_ |
|#|\___/ / WE FUCK YOU AND EVERYONE
|#|_____/ WHO LOOKS AT YOUR STUPID PAGE
jgs |#|.-. _
_ ~ |&| |#|
|%| ~ '-'
~
%
SHITTING A P JUST FOR YOU
_, ____
\_ ` , `P
|/--\ /
jgs "` "`
%
o_,/T~~T~~T\___ STOP STARING IT'S
/-'[ _ _ | A FUCKING PINTO OKAY
/`> `(_)-----(_)-'
%
_-~~~-_ _-~~~-_
/~ ~\ : , \
' ~ , |: :
{ /~~\ :--~""""\.: :
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~\_____ | | | |:~ YUM YUM I AM FULL
/ |__O|_|O|; OF HOT JIZZ
( / O \
\ ( `\_______/)
`\ \ /
) ~-------~'\
/ \
: ||
| | ||
| |.======[]==+'|
(~~~~) | |~)
/ \ | | \
~\ \___/)______/^\__|_/
`\\ // | | | |
`\\__//' | | | |
~~ (~~~~) (~~~)
/ =\..' =_
|__________)________)-jurcy
%
CHECK ME OUT I'M
( " ) APPLYING WHAT I LEARNED
( _ * FROM THE HARRY POTTER BOOKS
* ( / \ ___
" " _/ /
( * ) ___/ |
) " _ o)'-./__
* _ ) (_, . $$$
( ) __ __ 7_ $$$$
( : { _) '--- $\
______'___//__\ ____, \
) ( \_/ _____\_
.' \ \------''.
|=' '=| | )
| | | . _/
\ (. ) , / /__I_____\
snd '._/_)_(\__.' (__,(__,_]
@---()_.'---@
%
_________________________________
| _PalmPilot_________________mtr_ |
||_Sep_15,_00__<|S|M|T|W|T|F|S|>_||
|| 8:00 ........................||
|| 9:00 ........................||
||,10:00 ASS RELATED FESTIVITIES.||
||`11:00 ........................||
|| 12:00 ........................||
|| 1:00 PISS ALARM............o#||
|| 2:00 ........................||
|| 3:00 ........................||
|| 4:00 ........................||
|| ,5:00 GET CIRCUMCIZED ........||
|| `5:05 (RIGHT THIS TIME)....||
|| 6:00 ........................||
|| _____ .---. .-------. .----. ||
|| |_|_|_|.New. .Details. .Goto. ||
||-------------------------------||
|| .-. |``````````v''''''| .-. ||
||' ` | | ' `||
||`._.' | | `._.'||
|| | | ||
|| .-. | | .-. ||
||' ` | | ' `||
||`._.' |:.........^.....:| `._.'||
|`-------------------------------'|
|_ .-. .-. .---. .-. .-. |
|o|' ` ' ` `---' ' ` ' ` |
|-'`._.' `._.' .---. `._.' `._.' |
`---.__ `---' ___.-'
| ``-------------------' |
`-------------------------------'
%
SURE I LOOK CUTE BUT LITTLE DO YOU KNOW
I JUST PISSED ON YOUR KEYBOARD
,-~-, ,-~~~~-, /\ /\
(\ / ,-, \ ,' ', / ~~ \
\'-' / \ \ / _ # <0 0> \
'--' \ \/ .' '. # = Y =/
\ / \ \ `#-..!.-'
\ \ \ `\ \\
) /> / \ \\
/ /`/ /`__ \ \\__
jgs (____)))_))) \__)))
%
****** ****** ***************
* ** * ** * **
* * * * * * * * *
* * * * * * * * *
****** * ****** * *************** *
****** * ****** * ****************
****** * ****** * ***************
****** * ****** * ***** *
******************* * ***** *
******************* * ******* *******
******************* * * ***** * **
****** * ****** * * ****** * *
****** * ****** * * ***** * *
****** * ****** * *************** *
******* ******* ****************
****** ****** ***************
SUCK OFF A CHRISTIAN TODAY

%
,__ FISH RULE AT DICKSUCKING
| `'. / BECAUSE WE DON'T HAVE
__ |`-._/_.:---`-.._ / TO STOP TO BREATHE
\='. _/..--'`__ `'-._
\- '-.--"` === / o `',
)= ( .--_ | _.' (HURF DUH GILLS)
/_=.'-._ {=_-_ | .--`-.
/_.' `\`'-._ '-= \ _.'
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\` .'/
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%
____________
/` _______ `\ SEVEN PLUS THREE
| [______O.] | TIMES EIGHTY-SIX
| | DIVIDED BY TWO
| """"""""" "" | HUNDRED EQUALS
| [][][][][][] | I LIKE DICKS
| [][][][][][] |
| [][][][]||[] |
| [][][][]||[] |
jgs \____________/
%
(O BECAUSE OF ME NO ONE CAN
|__ EVER PARK BY THE FRONT
.-|___
( ) \_
`--'
FL
%
. .
... :``..':
: ````.' :''::'
..:.. : .'' : WATCH OUT FOR THE
``. `: .' : WILD PISS FLOWERS
: : : :
: : : :
: : : :
: : :..''''``::.
: ...:..' .''
.' .' .::::'
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' `::::
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: .'`::
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%
__________
/ ___ ___ \
/ / @ \/ @ \ \ HOOT HOOT
\ \___/\___/ /\ HOW ABOUT A NICE
\____\/____/|| FAT DICK IN YOUR
/ /\\\\\// UGLY FAT MOUTH
| |\\\\\\
\ \\\\\\
\______/\\\\
_||_||_
-- --
Unknown
%
_\|||/_
/ @@\
( > <----- Young
\ @/
_||_
~~.~
/ \
@ @ @ @
\ >/ <------ Old
( ~~)
/( )\
/ ( ) \
()
. <------ GAY
%
o o
|__|
(_O_o)
_||_ -- DO ME SIX WAYS FROM SUNDAY
// |\
\'--'/
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'-'-'
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TELEVISION FOR FUCKING RETARDS

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IF YOU LOOK CLOSELY YOU'LL NOTICE YOUR REFLECTION IN HER EYES

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SUCK YOU ALL NIGHT LONG

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YOU'LL NOTE HOMER IS GROPING LISA IN THIS SHOT

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+---------------------------------+
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GOD BLESS THESE UNITED STATES

STAND AT ATTENTION SOLDIER
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I TOUGHT I TAW A PUTTY

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___________________________________________________
| |
| OFFICIAL PRESIDENTIAL BALLOT, NOV. 6, ____ |
| |
| |
| Follow the arrow and punch the appropriate dot |
| |
| |
| THE REPUBLICAN CANDIDATE ---------------\ |
| \ |
| THE DEMOCRATIC CANDIDATE -----------------\ |
| > O |
| THAT OTHER CANDIDATE ---------------------/ |
| / |
| MUMBLE MUMBLE --------------------------/ |
| |
|___________________________________________________|
WATCH OUT !!!!! THIS JOKE IS TOO HOT TO TOUCH !!!!!!

SIZZLE !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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COULD WE MAKE UP OUR FUCKING MIND WHETHER I'M A UNICORN OR PEGASUS
THANX IN ADVANCE !!!!!!!!!!! FAGGOTS
<<<<>>>>>> .----------------------------.
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/~~\
____ /'o | SON OF A BITCH
.~ | `\ ,-~~~\~-_ ,' _/'|
`\_/ /'\ /'`\ \ ~, | .' I'M A PALM
`,/' | ,'_ | | |`\ ,'~~\ | BEACH RESIDENT
| /`: | `\ /~~~~\ / | ,' `.' AND I FORGOT
| /' | | ,' `\ /`| /'\ / TO VOTE
`| / \_ _/ `\ | |' `----\ | /'
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`\/_ /~ _/ `~------'
~~~~ -Chev
%
/^\ /^\
{ O} { O} WITH THESE TWO EYES I CAN TRIANGULATE
\ / \ / ON YOUR BALLS
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EW
GET IT ?!?!?! THE GUY IS WAITING FOR THE MACHINE AND HE'S A SKELETON
BECAUSE HE DIED AND DECAYED HE WAS WAITING SO LONG !!!! STILL DON'T
GET IT ??? HERE LET ME DRAW A DIAGRAM :::
_ _ __ __ _____
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TITLED: THE MOST POINTLESS MESSAGE IN A BOTTLE EVER

%
_________________________ I'D MAKE A MORE CONVINCING FEMALE
(, ______________________ ) IMPERSONATOR IF MY WANG WASN'T OUT
| | ||
| | @@@@ || @@@@ O
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| | : | || |: |
| |_______'____,_|_______|| |_____,_|
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BET YOU NEVER THOUGHT RADIO WAVES COULD

BE GAY BUT HERE WE SEE UNDENIABLE PROOF
%
_.-=-._
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`"-.__/ `. HOLY GOD PEOPLE
/ ::
/ .: .:| MAKE WAY FOR
: .::!. CRAP-O'-THE-DAY
/'| :: :::'!! NUMBER TWO
.: :/' .::/ !!
:::/ :::' !!
`:"::'''!! !!
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/ .-~-: !!!
/: :' !!. NUMBER THREE
::: :' !!
|:: | :!!!!
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~~~
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PRICKS
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'---`(--' Pru />>=<</ COMMENT
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%
WE HAVE BEEN TELEPORTED FORWARD IN TIME
WE MUST RETURN TO OUR OWN TIME NOW BUT WOULD
LIKE TO SEND A MESSAGE TO OUR FUTURE GENERATIONS
THAT WILL ECHO THROUGH THE AGES:
YOU SHOULDN'T HAVE FUCKING CANCELLED THE COSBY SHOW
ò' _._(_(
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%
GET YOUR GODDAMN HANDS OFF HER
_ WHO'S GONNA MAKE ME
(` ). / _
( ). .:(` )`. /
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DON'T MIND THEM
THEY ARE REENACTING THE CLIMACTIC
SCENE IN BACK TO THE FUTURE
%
/__
/_=.
|\ ___
| ; _.--/.=` I AM MERCURY ALSO KNOWN AS HERMES
| | '-s, ) I'M THE GAY ONE THAT NOBODY REALLY LIKES
| \ /` g/ BUT EVERYBODY PUTS UP WITH BECAUSE OF
\ '. L_ /` CONCERNS OVER DISCRIMINATION LAWSUITS
\ \_| \__ o
\ - . -( '. =.I.=
'| | . '.__W DID I MENTION I CAN POUND DOWN FIVE
'-- '-- \-._ $ COCKS IN THREE POINT FOUR SECONDS
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-__ \ Y .--' THIS REALLY HURTS
\ ` / / CALL A MEDIC I THINK
` / ' |\ __ I GOT THIS RODENT
' /. (` `) `-. STUCK UP ME
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WHAT
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_,-,_
((()))) IF YOU'VE NEVER LET ME FUCK YOU
)(e e)( WHY DO I HAVE TO TAKE CARE OF
(| - |) THE GODDAMN BRAT
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-- '' -'-'-- '' -'-' miK
%
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WHO FARTED ?!?!?!?!?! |~~' sorry
|
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~~~ ~~~ ~~~~ ~~~~~~ ~~~~~ ~~~~~~
~~ ~~~~ ~~~~~ ~~~~~~ ~~~~~~ ~~~~~ ~~~~
~ ~~~~ ~~~~~ ~~~~ ~~~~~ ~~~~ ~~~~~jro
%
. . . . . . .
. . . .
JESUS HATES YOU .
. . . . .
. . .
. . . . :::::+::::... . . .
. . ..::.:::+++++:::+++++:+::. . .
.:. ..:+:..+|||+..::|+|+||++|:. .
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. `.:.:.:.: :.:.:.:. . .
.
%
|\
~\ | \ I'M FROM DRAGONBALL Z !!!!
__--- | \| |---_
/__ \ ~-/ ZZZZZZZZZZZZ AS IN SNORING
\ \___-
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/\ ; '\ | \_____|_____/ ; |/ /: \
coolb
%
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\ \##|##/ \__\____\____\__/ \\
|_| | | | | | | \|
\*/ \ | | | | / /
/ /
%
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((((((((((((((((()))))))))))))))))))))
oo @@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@ oo
oo @@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@ oo
oo &&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&& oo
oo &&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&& oo
oo **************************** oo
**************************
(((((((((((())))))))))))
Carolyn
%
WE'RE THREE CRACKERS IN SPACE
/
___________________ _-_ /
\==============_=_/ ____.---'---`---.____
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%
CHECK OUT WHAT I GOT TATTOOED
ON MY FAT PASTY GOTH ASS
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~~~~~
~~~
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YEAH EVEN THE MCMAC PART
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.oOOo. .OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOooOOOOOOooOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO. .oOo.
OOOOOOo..OOOOOOOOO>oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo<OOOOOOO. .oOOOOO
OOOOoOOoOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOo.oOOoOOOO
ÒOOOOoOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOoOOOOOO
ÒOOOOOoOOOOOOOOOOOoOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOoOOOOOOOOOoOOOOOOO'
ÒOOOOOoOOOOOOOOOOOoOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOoOOOOOOOOOoOOOOOO'
ÒOOOOoOOOOOoOOOOOoOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOoOOOOoOOOoOOOOOO'
ÒOOOoOOOOOoOOOOOoOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOoOOOOoOOOOoOOOOO'
ooOOOoOOOOOOoOOOOoOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOoOOOOoOOOOoOOOO'
.oOOOOOOO ÒOoOOOOoOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOoOOOoOOOOoOOOOo.
_oOOOOOOOOOO _______OOOO_ ______OOOO_ ÒOOOOOOOOOoo.
|OOO OO' OOO'| | .OOOOOo / oOOOO \ /OOO OOO OOO.
|OO' O'__O'__| | OO OO OO / OO_OO O \ / OO' _ÒO Ò
|Ò | | |O'\O' Ò| | O' \O Ò | | O' / \O |
| |_____ | |__/ | | | | | | | |____|
| | | / | | | | | | _______
| _____| | / | | | | | | |__ |
| | | |\ \ | | | | | | | |
| | | | \ \ | \_/ | | \__/ |
| | | | | | \ / \ /
|_____| |_____| |_____| \___________/ \___________/
IT'S NOT JUST FOR BREAKFAST ANYMORE

%
xXXx
(XXXX) PFFLFFLUUHHHHHH
.xX308XXX..xXXx..XXX308XXXx.
.xXXX308X308X308X308X308X308X308XXXXx.
~`\XX308X308X308X308X308X308X308X/'~ DON'T TREAD ON ME
``````/ .\XXXX / \ '''''
: <~XXXX(./; ;
`. `'XXX:/' ,' WHAT DO YOU MEAN
`:. `\ /' THAT'S THE WRONG LOGO
: `:. ;
:. :/
,' :x. `.
: `XXX / SHOVE THE NUTS
`. `:x
.'`. `;
;.:XXx:
`XX'
%
` '
` ' ` ; '
` ; ' ` ; '
` ; ' `; '
` ;' ` ' I SUCK COCKS
` ` ```` ' ' FOR SPORT
` "~" "~" '
` ^^ '
` ~ ~ ' WELL NOT SO MUCH
` ^. " .^ ' SPORT AS A
` ` ` ' HOBBY
`;;;;;;;'
` . . . .> ' ALL RIGHT ALL RIGHT
` <. . . . . ' I'M JUST GAY
` '
` ` ` ` ` , , '' ' ' ' '
`'.'. . . . . ` ` `. . . . . .';'
%
$$$$$$$$
$$$$$$$$$$
$$$$$$$$$$$ I'M A PROSTITUTE WITH A SHOPPING CART
$$ 0 0 $$ OR MAYBE A ZAMBONI I HAVE NO IDEA
$$ () $$ /
$$$ \ / $$$
$$$ \__/ $$$
\______/
_____! !_____
! !
! ! ! !
/ ! / !
/ / / /
/_ /______/_ /
| @@@ @@@|
/0000000000000000\
/ / \
/ / \
/ / /\
/ / //00\
/ / / \__/
00000000000000000 / /
| | / /
| | / /
| | / /
| |/ / BS
/00\0000000000000000/00\
\__/oooooooooooooooo\__/
%
____|_______________________________________n
||||||########################################|| WITH THIS RING
||||||######################################## I THEE WED
|TTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT=N
\##############################*********```
\#########| 888 |
\########| \\ |
|########\ \\_ |
|######## \_______/
/#######/
|#######|
/#######/
|#######|
/#######/ **BLAM** THUMP
|########|
UUUUUUUU
%
_.-+. DEAR HENRY,
_.-"" '.
+:"" '. WE FEEL YOUR ILLUSTRATION IS NOT
J \ '. SUITABLE FOR THE NEW YORKER MAGAZINE
L \ _.-+
| '. _.-" | PLEASE DO NOT CONTACT US AGAIN
J \ _.-" L
L +" J YOURS SINCERELY
+ | |
\ | .+ THE EDITOR
\ | .-' P.S. NEXT TIME WE'RE GETTING A
\ | .-' RESTRAINING ORDER
\| .--' -Henry-
+
%
xxxxxxxxxx
xxxxxxx xx
xxxxxxxxxx
xxxxxx x
xxxxxxxxxxxx
xxxxxxvvvuvxxxxxxx
xxxxxxxxvvuuuuvxxxxxxxxx
xxxxxxxxxvvuuuuuuvxxxxxxxxxx
xxxxxxxxxxxvvvuuuuvxxxxxxxxxxx
xxxxxxxxxxxxvvvvuvxxxxxxxxxxxx IF YOU DREW LIKE THIS
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx YOU'D BE DRIVEN TO
xaaxxbbbxxssxxooxxlxxxuxuxtttx DRINK TOO
aaaaxbbxxsssxooooxlxxxuuuxxtxx
aaaaxbbbxssxxxooxxlllxxuxxxtxx
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
xxxxvxvxxooxxdddxxkxkxxaaxxxxx
xxxxvvvxooooxddddxkkxxaaaaxxxx
xxxxxvxxxooxxdddxxkxkxaaaaxxxx
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxtxxxxxxxxdxx
xxixmmmxpppxooxrrxttxeeexdddxx
xxixmxmxpppxooxrxxtxxeexxdddxx
xxxxxxxxpxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
%
. .
. . . SIR THE REBELS ARE HERE AND THEY'RE
+. _____ . QUEER AND THEY WON'T REST UNTIL THOSE
. . ,-~" "~-. GAUCHE STORMTROOPER OUTFITS ARE
,^ ___ ^. + REPLACED WITH COSTUMES FROM CATS
/ .^ ^. \ /
Y l o ! Y
. l_ `.___.' _,[
|^~"-----------""~ ^|
+ . ! !
. \ /
^. .^
"-.._____.,-" .
+ .
+ . +
. . . -Row
%
* * * /\__/\ * --- * HEY EVERYBODY !!!
* / \ / \
* * | - - | | |* LOOK AT THE COMPLETELY SHITTY
* __________| \ /| | | POSTER OF A WOLF THAT I BOUGHT
/ \ T / | \ / AT THE MALL PICTURE SHOP !!
/ | * ---
| || | | / * IT IS TRULY A TESTAMENT TO MY
| || /______\ / |* * LACK OF MATURITY AND TASTE THAT
| | \ | / \ / | I HANG THIS FRANK FRAZETTA
\/ | |\ \ | | \ \ POSTER OVER MY FIREPLACE
| | \ \ | | \ \
| | \ \ | | \ \
''' ''' ''' ''' Melissa
%
/\
\ \
\ \
/ \ I'M GOING TO BE GAY WITH YOU UNDER THE RADAR
<===>\ /
< )>
<===>/
\ /
/ /
/ /
\/
%
__
o /' )
/' ( ,
__/' ) .' `;
o _.-~~~~' ``---..__ .' ;
_.--' b) ``--...____.' .'
( _. )). `-._ <
`\|\|\|\|)-.....___.- `-. __...--'-.'.
jgs `---......____...---`.___.'----... .' `.;
`-` `
OI VEY ARE MY SUPPLE ROUND BREASTS TURNING YOU ON

IT'S BECAUSE I'M A FISH AND I DON'T HAVE TITS HUH
WELL GEE WHIZ GOD ONLY GAVE ME GILLS
TRY POKING YOUR DICK AROUND IN MY SLOTS AND SEE WHAT HAPPENS
%
_-~~~~- ASS FUCK ME UNTIL I SHIT BLOOD

- @ @| /
' \
|\ .. | |\ /|
\ ' `. '\___/` .`. | \,,/_/
|\_ / `-____--// __/ \/ \ YOU HEARD HIM FOLKS
\ \/ .\\ \/ _--/ (D) \ OH WHAT DO I KNOW
\ .' \\ | -/ (_ \ I'M A HORSE
`. \ /' | / \_ / ==\ /
__------\ | .'_/ / \_ O o)
/ _| /`-__-'/ / \==/
/ | \ /
|| \__/ \_/\
|| / _ / |
| | /--______ ___\ /\ :
| / __- - _/ ------ | | \ \
| - - / | | \ )
| | - | | ) | |
| | | | | | | |
| | < | | | |_/
< | /__\ < \
/__\ /___\
%
__ __
( _) ( _)
/ / \\ / /\_\_ THESE PANTIES
/ / \\ / / | \ \ ARE REALLY
/ / \\ / / |\ \ \ RIDING UP ON ME
/ / , \ , / / /| \ \
/ / |\_ /| / / / \ \_\
/ / |\/ _ '_| \ / / / \ \\
| / |/ 0 \0\ / | | \ \\
| |\| \_\_ / / | \ \\
| | |/ \.\ o\o) / \ | \\
\ | /\\`v-v / | | \\
| \/ /_| \\_| / | | \ \\
| | /__/_ / _____ | | \ \\
\| [__] \_/ |_________ \ | \ ()
/ [___] ( \ \ |\ | | //
| [___] |\| \| / |/
/| [____] \ |/\ / / ||
snd ( \ [____ / ) _\ \ \ \| | ||
\ \ [_____| / / __/ \ / / //
| \ [_____/ / / \ | \/ //
| / '----| /=\____ _/ | / //
__ / / | / ___/ _/\ \ | ||
(/-(/-\) / \ (/\/\)/ | / | /
(/\/\) / / //
_________/ / /
\____________/ (
%
/\/\/\/\
/ /
(. (. )
DUH I SUCK COCK ( ]
\ /____ /
\ |
/-----\
/ / / \
/ \/ \/ \
/ / / \ \
((() /__________\ (/\)))
/ \
| /\ \
----| |----
|__ | \__ \
{____| {___}
=======================/
(o) (o)
%
_
_(_)_ A WILTED
(_)~(_) PRICK
(_)\
l WHAT A
l WASTE
\l/
\l/
^^^^^^^^^^
%
,-.,-.
,| /-./_
( (___
| 'o \) LIKE ALL CRACKAS I GOTS
; / NO ASS
| ,_/
(( \)
)`---.__ /(
/ , . `' \
/ | | `.
) | | __,'|
`-->___<--' |
| | | ;
; | ( /
\ `. ) ,j hjw
;' `-' )-' |
| / /
| /| (_
; (_( )
( )`--'
`---'
%
____
{} _ \
GUESS WHAT'S IN |__ \
MY BAG ?????? /_____\
\o o)\)_______
(< ) /#######\
NOPE __{'~` }#########|
/ { _}_/########|
/ { / _|#/ )####|
FATTER / \_~/ /_ \ |####|
\______\/ \ | |####|
\__________\|/#####|
snd |__[X]_____/ \###/
/___________\
| |/ |
|___/ |___/
_| /_| /
(___,_(___,_)
%
_.-+. DEAR MISTER SHITHEAD EDITOR,
_.-"" '.
+:"" '. IF YOU DON'T LIKE MY CUBE THEN YOU CAN
J \ '. ROT IN HELL !!!
L \ _.-+
| '. _.-" | THE MINUTE I GET THIS TRACKING DEVICE OFF
J \ _.-" L MY ANKLE I'M GOING DOWN THERE TO YOUR
L +" J OFFICES !!!
+ | |
\ | .+ YOUR ASS IS GRASS MOTHERFUCKERS !!!!!!!!!!!
\ | .-'
\ | .-'
\| .-' SCREW ALL OF YOU,
+ HENRY
%
/''''. /'''.
: :'':/ % /''.'.
MMMM; ; ' / / / : :
WWWW:-:##MMMM--'''-- // ,-' ;
/' : 'WMMM ::.' .-''
; .MM /.-- ....WMM' .-' WHAT YOU TALKIN' 'BOUT
...---WW'' / / 'm' ': WILLIS ???????????????
...--'' ..-' : MM : ':
/''MMMMM. .'' . MM % : I'M AN ANGRY FAGGOT
-.-''#-. 'MMMMMMM.-. /' TRAPPED IN A MIDGET'S
----#-- 'WMMW'' '. .' BODY
....,-- # -... .'
: .-' '. '-.:*-'''-- .'''--'%'
&. '. .-' '-. #-.#-.
&. .-''-.-' #-. #-. --
''' / #.=-. -
- | |
| |
| |
_| |_
%
WHOLESOME DOWN HOME COOKIN'
( " )
( _ *
* ( / ___
" " _/ /
( * ) ___/ |
) " _ o)'-./__
* _ ) (_, . $$$
( ) __ __ 7_ $$$$
( : { _) '--- $\
______'___//__\ ____, \
) ( \_/ _____\_
.' \ \------''.
|=' '=| | )
| | | . _/
\ (. ) , / /__I_____\
snd '._/_)_(\__.' (__,(__,_]
@---()_.'---@
MADE WITHOUT DICKS (JUST RAT'S ASSHOLE)

%
/
__ //
-\= \=\ //
--=_\=---//=--
-_==/ \/ //\/-- IT'S NOT OUR FAULT
==/ /O O\==-- THAT UNICORNS LOOK
_ _ _ _ /_/ \ ] /-- GAY
/\ ( (- \ / ] ] ]==-
(\ _\_\_\-\__/ \ (,_,)-- I MEAN LOOK AT THAT
(\_/ \ \- LITTLE KNOB GOBBLER
\/ / ( ( \ ] /)
/ ( \ \_ \./ )
( \ \ ) \
( /\_ _ _ _ /---/ /\_ \
\ / \ / ____/ / \ \
( / ) / / /__ ) ( )
( ) / __/ '---` / /
\ / \ \ _/ /
] ] )_\_ /__\/
/_\ ]___\
(___)
%
_\/_
/\
. . MERRY CHRISTMAS KIDS !!!
. V.
.V . I'M A LOUSY PROVIDER SO THIS IS
'. ..o THE BEST I COULD DO
o . ' .
. V . YES I'LL PAY FOR THE THERAPY
. V .
o V. .'o GLHGALHAGLHGAHLAGLHGAHLGA
' '''''.. GAHGALHAGHLGAHLAGLHGALH
' V .
' V '
o'V .'
'''_'''' o
__|_|__
\ /
\___/ mga
%
\ \-|^\~~~
\______________ / 0/~~~
/\-\/
DUH WHAT AM I
%
MY MOM WAS A FAT PIG AND
MY DAD WAS AN ALLIGATOR OR SOMETHING
BUT I'M 100% COCKSUCKER, FOLKS
/
/
/\~"~/\~""~~____
("`-'/""). "'"`~-._ .
__~6 _ 6 } { }.-.__.)
(oo) |\ } { }"--,-'
"--.~~~ __/ { } \ }
'"ii"/ \_ \ | __~ "; >"
/ / ""\ |" / /
^^" ^^ ^^"
%
ANYWAY THAT'S HOW
CLEARLY NO ONE CAN YOU DIE I BECAME THE KING OF
HERE UNDERSTANDS FROM TOO MUCH FRANCE AND ITALY
MY PAIN COCKSUCKING ??? / AND SAVED
\ ___ OH HERE | / MOST OF EUROPE
)_( WE GO AGAIN | someone _ FROM FAMINE AND
| | / | farted [_ ] HOLY GOD I'M
.-'-'-. _ | \ .-'. '-. SUCH A
/-::_..-\ _[_]_ \ /:;/ _.-'\ LOSER
)_ _( /_ _\ [-] |:._ .-|
|;:: | )_``'_( .-'-'-. (-) |:._ |
|;:: | |;: | :-...-: .-'-'-. |:._ |
|;:: | |;: | |;: | |-...-| |:._ |
|;::-.._| |;:.._| |;:.._| |;:.._| |:._ |
`-.._..-' `-...-' `-...-' `-...-' `-.____.-' cjr
%
_ _-._ HI MY NAME C.J.
/`'~-. _,-' \
/ . \_ / _.--. \ ME LIMEY AND EAT EGG ROLL
/ : `'Y ' `~-n.
/ |._ _, `. c.j. __| \ ME RIKEY SUCKY FUCKY
( _.>_O)_/ \ __.-'~ | ME OPEN UP FOR YOU
.' /)~~ \ ' ____/~-./
( /. \ ) / / GIVE ME IT ALL I AM FAGGY
`-' `.L_ / "_ | LIMEY C.J.
`'\ /_ / | |
8--- \._) _ / `' | | PLEASE SIR MORE SIR
`~''~' _| |
^ (_ | GHGAHLAGLHAGLHGALHAGHLAG
DICK `-._ / FUCKING FAGGOT
`-'
%
.--._.--.
( O O ) WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING AT
/ . . \
.`._______.'. HOMOSEXUALITY IS A LIFESTYLE
/( )\ AND A PERSONAL CHOICE
_/ \ \ / / \_ SO I DON'T WANT TO HEAR
.~ ` \ \ / / ' ~. ANY OF YOUR BEEZWAX !!!!!
{ -. \ V / .- }
_ _`. \ | | | / .'_ _ GAHLAGHGAHALG
>_ _} | | | {_ _< COCKSUCKING
/. - ~ ,_-' .^. `-_, ~ - .\
'-'|/ \|`-`
%
__________ __________
/ \ / \
/ \ / \ YOU CAN'T SEE FROM YOUR
| @@ | | /\ | VANTAGE POINT BUT
/\ @@ / \ /\ HELLO KITTY IS GIVING
/ \ _________/ \__________/ \ ME ONE RIGHTEOUS BLOWJOB
/ \
( O O )
\ \_ _/ /
\_ --------------------- _/
----___________________---- __-->
/ / = = |\ /| = = =\ >
/ / = = |/ \| = = = \ __-- >
/ /= = = = = = = = \
%
.__ _
@ V; .Z~M
|| :|:@ d YOU SUCK COCK
d' d\@ jf
.*\ :P #P |P
M `| W .@ Z
| .b :! d' W'
| V W # .W**=m_
| !|| @ W'_ ~V;
|| M| _ Nm4| YmjL|PN_
# W#~ YN_W'YL#W#b
|; + |f `#'#8L
W ._#L_ .#,`'||
|, .WMP' ~Mm#`Nm;d|
`| W Mmd#; .df
| M `M#@-W'
W !b WtZ'
M V; |P
|| b .@
D Y| .W'
j| 'j@'
jP' L_mq=-_@'
.Z! jf
mf .W'
.@'
.@'
.@
:@
Littman
%
__ WE WANT TO SUCK YOUR COCK (IN UNISON) __
/ \
/ / / \ \ \
/ / / \ \ \
/ / / \ \ \
__ __ __ __ __ __
>(' ) >(' ) >(' ) >(' ) >(' ) >(' )
)/ , )/ , )/ , )/ , )/ , )/ ,
/(____/\ /(____/\ /(____/\ /(____/\ /(____/\ /(____/\
/ ) / ) / ) / ) / ) / )
\ ` =~~/ \ ` =~~/ \ ` =~~/ \ ` =~~/ \ ` =~~/ \ ` =~~/
`---Y-' __ `---Y-' __ `---Y-' __ `---Y-' __ `---Y-' __ `---Y-' __
~~' (__) ~~' (__) ~~' (__) ~~' (__) ~~' (__) ~~' (__)
%
* *
* *
) (\___/) (
* /( \ (. .) )\ *
# ) c\ >' ( #
' )-_/ '
\\|, ____| |__ ,|//
\ ) ( ` ~ ) ( /
#\ / /| . ' .) \ /#
| \ / ) , / \ / | I'M A FLAMING
\,/ ;;,,;,; \,/ QUEER, GET IT
_,#;,;;,;,
/,i;;;,,;#,; LET'S BE GAY IN
// %;;,;,;;,; GREECE OR NARNIA
(( ;#;,;%;;,, OR SOMETHING
_// ;,;; ,#;,
/_) #,; ))
// \|_
\|_ |#\
|#\ -" b'ger
-"
%
/\ /\
IF I DO IT WITH ( \\ // )
AN OKLAHOMAN, WILL \ \\ // /
OUR BABY BE CALLED \_\\||||//_/
A HONKEY ???? \/ _ _ \
ALSO, PLEASE NOTE \/|(O)(O)|
THAT I LIKE THE DICKS \/ | |
___________________\/ \ /
// // |____|
// || / \
//| \| \ 0 0 /
// \ ) V / \____/
// \ / ( /
"" \ /_________| |_/
/ /\ / | ||
/ / / / \ ||
| | | | | ||
| | | | | ||
|_| |_| |_||
\_\ \_\ \_\\ Hard'96
%
A$$FVCK ME UNTIL I SH!T BL00D
^----^
(.) (.)
\/
/ vvvvv \
/v vvvvv v\
/v vvvvv v\
v vvv v
v v
/ \
ejm ((( )))
PROFANITY EXPURGATED BY TRAN SERVICES

%
.
. .
/ . \
IT IS / /
SERIOUSLY /. ./ /\
HARD TO GET |. . ./__/. |
INTO THAT \. . ./
UPPITY QUEEN'S \. . ./
PANTS \. . ./
\. . ./
========
------------
==============
BUT THE KING \ /
AND I GET GAY | |
EVERY TUESDAY | |
| |
; `
/ \
/ \
/ \
` . '
\=============/
-------------------
=====================
%
)
(.)
.|. MY MUFFINY GOODNESS
l7J WILL SOON BE ADDED
| | TO THE FATNESS OF YOUR
_.--| |--._ ASS
.-'; ;`-'& ; `&.
& & ; & ; ; \
\ ; & &_/
F"""---...---"""J
| | | | | | | | |
J | | | | | | | F
`---.|.|.|.---'
Krogg
%
W E L C O M E T O A S S W O R L D
* * .`/\`.
* * | ) ( |
`.\/.`
* .----------. * .`/\`.
* /.---------./\__ * |( )|
\ \___\ \ /`-._ `.\/.`
* _.\ / O \ \`-._ `-._ *
_.-` \ / "|) \ \ `-._ `-._
_.-` \ / ( \ \ \ `-._ `-._
_.-` o \/__________\/ `-._ `-._
_.-` O \o) \o) `-._/\ *
/\ O // // _____________ \ \
\ \ _____________ \\ \\ /_____________/\ \ \
\ \ /\ \O_ _O) \=._\ \\ _\ , ^ . \ \ \ \
\ \ \ \ | ` ` | \ `-.o o.-` \ ~ ) ( ~ \ \ \ \ *
\ \ \ \ / \ ( \ \ _.-o o-._ \ ~ )\o/( ~ \ \ \ \
\ \ \ \_____________\`\\ \\`-=\____|________\/ \ \
\ \ \/_____________/ \\ \\ / / \ / \ \
* \ \ _/o)____/o)_/ / \/
\/`-._ /_\\_____\\__/\ / _.-`
`-._ `-._ \ .---------\ \ / _.-` *
* `-._ `-._ \ \ / 0 \ \ / _.-`
`-._ `-._ \ \ / <|\ \ \/ _.-` *
* `-._ `-._\ \ / / \ \ \` *
`-./__\ \/_________\/ *
.`/\`. * `-----------` *
| | | | .``.
`.\/.` * * .`//\\`.
* ~~] (( )) [~~
LGB * * `.\\//.`
`..`
%
/-_-/- \
_ ///--_-\\\\
/-\.-. |// " \\\\|
//=" \\\ \/__ __\///
/=/_ _\= \-/ /- |/
//| , ,/= .---. ) ) // / .)
/ /C \ \ \ ( ( /_ _ \ |(__)\ /|
| | " | | \\></ / |_---'__/
\\_\\_ ^ /// \" / _/ \--'/ \__
___/ \-/\___ ___/\~/\___ / | // /\ | \
/ \/\\/ \ \ \ / |/|| \_\| |
\ \_ \\ \ \ \_/_/\ / / ||| _\ | |
\ ==\-._..-| | / |\ / /|/ || \\ | |
\ """_.--" / _/ _| \ / || \/ \| |
/`--""\"---" `-' ||=======|/ |
/ /_/ /\ \\ |\ . /\_/
\_____/ \__\ |/| |_ \_/|
\ / |:| | |\|
/________\ |:| | |:|
\ ) ) |:| | |:|
/ |/ |:| | |:|
.\ | |:| | |:|
/\/_| "|__|___|"
/_ | \_ _.' |' |
\_\\__\ (___(___)
HUNG FOR TREASON, IMPRISONED FOR LIFE,
4/2001 4/2001
%
THEN I TOLD THAT __
WETSUITED BITCH TO STICK HER _.-~ )
GODDAMN FISH UP HER ASS _..--~~~~,' ,-/ _
SIDEWAYS .-'. . . .' ,-',' ,' )
,'. . . _ ,--~,-'__..-' ,'
THEN I WENT HOME ,'. . . (@)' ---~~~~ ,'
AND JERKED IT /. . . . '~~ ,-'
BIGTIME /. . . . . ,-'
; . . . . - . ,'
: . . . . _ /
. . . . . `-.:
. . . ./ - . )
. . . | _____..---.._/ ____ Seal _
~---~~~~----~~~~ ~~
%
___====-_ _-====___
__--^^^ // \\ ^^^--_
_-^ // ( ) \\ ^-_
- // |\^^/| \\ -
_/ // (0::0) \\ \_
/ (( \\// )) \
- \\ (oo) // -
- MOM \\ / \/ \ // -
- \\/ \// -
/ /| /\ ( ) /\ |\ \
|/ | /\_/\_/\_/ \_/\ ( /\ ) /\_/ \_/\_/\_/\ | \|
` |/ V V ` V \_(| | | |)_/ V ' V V \| '
` ` ` ` / | | | | \ ' ' ' '
<( | | | | )>
<__\_| | | |_\__>
^^^^ ^^^ ^^^ ^^^^^
NICE TATTOO FAGGOT

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_________________________________
|.==============. .==============.|
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s| __ | | I CAN ||
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|| / \ | | YOU NAKED ||
|| .-;.- \| | ||
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| ______________ ______________ |
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'================================='
err sorry officer HEY GET YOUR FUCKING HANDS OFF SANTA
%
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/,;;//\\;;.\ THERE IS
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(_ (__) _) MY UNDERWEAR
l j NOW
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\_ _/ LUCKILY I AM
_j l_ WEARING MY
,' `.__,' `. MOM'S PANTIES
/ \
|__Y________Y__|
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LADY I AM NOT AFRAID
DID YOU EVER KNOW TO PISTOL-WHIP YOU
THAT YOU'RE MY HERO
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{) ON RUDOLPH ON FATTY ON STUPID ON ITZHAK
c==//\ ON DONNER ON FAGGOT ON FUCKER ON NIXON
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/'_,/, //'~~~\;;, GLHGAHLAGHLGA OH I GIVE UP
`~ _( _||_..\ | ';; GALHGAHLGAHLAGHLAGHLAGHLAGH
/'~|/ ~' `\<\> ;
" | / |
" " " TX
%
////////- ///////// -////////////- #///// -//////
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##/ ##- -- --#------- / -##/ // -- /## / -##/ /
##/ ##- -- /# -/ -##/ -- /## / -##/ /
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##/ ##- -- /## / -##/ -- /## / -##/ /
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#############/ /##########- -#############/ /######- -#######
######/###### /#########/ -############# /#####/ -######-
/////--/////- ////////// -//////////// ////// -/////-
IT'S NOT JUST FOR BREAKFASTG LFYS OISD HILSFS KLHSHFKL SDHFLK HGH
HOLY GOD YOU ARE SERIOUSLY PUSHING ME UNDER THE SINK AND RAPING ME
%
__ __---_
,-~~~ ~\/ ~\
,_/ |
/,_ / HI EVERYONE
_ _/ ~\ MY NAME IS IRELAND
/~~ ~\/~-_| / AND I'M AN ALCOHOLIC
\ /~
\ _ _\/
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\ |
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| /
/ | HI IRELAND
/___/~ |
/ /
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/--- __|_-_/
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\_-~/ \ /~
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--~/_-_-/~'~ -jorn
%
HALLOWEEN TIME PEOPLE !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
\\ \\ \\
.-'```^```'-. .-'```^```'-. .-'```^```'-.
/ /\ __ /\ \ / (\ __ /) \ / /) __ (\ \
| ^^ \/ ^^ | | ` \/ ` | | ^ \/ ^ |
\ \_.__._/ / \ \____/ / \ `'=='` /
`'-.......-'` `'-.......-'` `'-.......-'` ldb
SCARY SPICE HAPPY SPICE FUCKING DICKLICKER

%
|>
| ME SUCKY FUCKY
/|\
/ | \
/ | \
/ | \
/ | \
/ | \
/ | |
/_________|_____|
|
----------------------
| /
\ /
_-_\_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_
%
/"""""\
| (o|o) | I'M A PART OF THE LAMEST TUTORIAL
| _\ | IN THIS GRAND AND WONDERFUL UNIVERSE
| '---' |
\_____/ AND CONSIDERING THE STATE OF AFFAIRS
___| |___ TODAY THAT'S SAYING A LOT
/ '-' \
| . . |
| | | |
| | | |
\_|_____|_/
/_| |_\
| .-. |
| | | |
'._| |_.'
/__| |__\ mga
%
/
/ .'
/ .'
/ ______. .'
/ / __/_// ' OWOWOWOWOOWOWW
/ / / @"@ OWOWOWOWOWOWOWOW
/ \ G ' >' OWOWOWOWOWOWOWO _.-'
/ \/. C ' OWOWOWOWOW _.-'
/ .---\ / --. _.-'
/ / \( \ _.-' HOLY GOD
/ / \ \ (. ) ' THE RAPE RAYS
/ / /\ \ /
/ \ | \ \ __..--''
/ .' \_\ ) )\\ __..--''
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-------The ASCII ART FART Ten Commandments.---------
\\\\`///
/ _ _| 1/ NO COCKSUCKING ON DUTY
(\'('\/') 2/ WHEN IT HURTS YOU YOU'VE
______/( >(__ BOUGHT IT
/`- \ \_=__| `\ 3/ ARTISTS FORMERLY KNOWN AS
/ /__( _____\ _____ PRINCESS MUST OFFER FREE
/_ \.____ ," "." ",__ BLOWJOBS
| / _\__/_ - / \ 4/ IF ANYONE CALLS YOU BETTY
\/ /____ \ASCII FART FAQ /// YOU GET TWO FREE JERKS
) / / \__\ - | 5/ NO ONE LIKES A SORE DICK
'-.__|_/ ///| I VI | (TOO MUCH JERKING)
\_ | | | 6/ HE WHO SMELLS IT FIRST
| | II VII | DEALT IT
\ | | | 7/ WHEN I POUND MY NUTS WITH
/ | III VIII | A HAMMER IT BRINGS ME
\ | | | CLOSER TO GOD
\_ | IV IX | 8/ I FORGET
\| | | 9/ ONCE UPON A TIME I ATE
| V X | RABBIT SHIT
|______b'ger______| 10/ THERE IS NO SPOON
%
_______________
()==( (@==()
'______________'|
| |
|JEWS KEEP OUT|
__)_____________|
()==( (@==()
'--------------'
PjP
WELL I NEVER
%
MANY CALL IT "SHEET MUSIC"
BUT I CALL IT "COCK AND BALLS"
_ ____
( ) |____|
___|/________|\____________|____|_______
|__/|/_)_|____|_______|\__(_)__(_)_______|
|_(_|_/__|__(_)_______|\_________________|
|___|____|__________(_)__________________|
|________|_________________________(_)___|
|
PLEASE BE GAY WITH ME |
%
_..._ EVERYTIME A BELL _..._
.~ `~. RINGS GOD MAKES .~` ~.
,_ / } US CHOKE DOWN { \ _,
,_\'--, \ _.'`~~/ ANOTHER FIVE DONGS \~~`'._ / ,--'/_,
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/. \ BEST DRAWING EVER
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| "MMM"/ \"MMM" | .dMMM 8
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%
I WRITE THE DONGS THAT MAKE
THE WHOLE WORLD SUCK
/
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C O O O D
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.
.:::.
.:::::::. IF YOU IDIOTS FROM THE 20TH
V^V^V^V^V^V CENTURY HADN'T CANCELLED
(| ^ ^ |) A DIFFERENT WORLD WE
| (_) | WOULDN'T HAVE LOST HALF THE
`//=\\' WORLD'S POPULATION AND
(((())) RESOURCES TO WORLD
)))(( WARS III, IV, AND V
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_____________________________________
| |
| ####### #### ####### | THE BLACKHAWKS RULE !!!!
| ###### <##### ###### |
| ####### ##### ####### | AT LEAST IF YOU THINK
| ######################### | SUCKING DICK RULES
| ################## |
| # _ # |
\ # |_} # /
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_/__ ) DEAR LITTLE
0)0`>|_ FISH, IN TWO
/V\ \-_.-_ `; MORE HOURS
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;._ `/ `` | CLEANED AND
|^ '-;._ _.' | THEN STUCK
|^ ^ ||``` | UP MY ASS
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WE ARE AN ALIEN RACE OF COLORED WAX
AND WE HAVE COME FOR YOUR TECHNOLOGY
ALSO PLEASE BE GAY WITH US

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THIS IS MY HOMETOWN
(ALSO KNOWN AS BRASILIA)

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\ \_______/ / OFF WHEN THE LID
/\ '._______.'--. IS CLOSED
\ /| |<_____> |
\ \__|<_____>____/|__
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|<_____> | NOW GO BUY ME
|<_____> | FOR YOUR KIDS!!!!
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%
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$;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;$
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*** %%
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*****||
#####||%% %% EITHER I'M PLAYING A BAGPIPE OR
d0 0b||%%--%%>> I'M FELLATING AN ALIEN CREATURE
( " )|||| // FROM XERXES B
__|\\_||||//
( \ \\#=#=#=# EITHER WAY I'M HAVING A GRAND
\ \ \ ||=#=#=# OL' TIME
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/\/=(B| VIVA LA DIFFERENCE !!!!!!!!!!
#==0=@@
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%
,-,
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/&&&-b\ IN FIVE MORE MINUTES
/ &&&/& \ I WILL CUT MY HAIR,
/ _!!_ \ GET FAT, AND STOP
/ /]{ }[\ \ WANTING SEX
\| (~~~~) |/ SO I DAMNED
/^\) (/^\ WELL BETTER BE
( \\(@*)// ) MARRIED FIRST
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OH LOOK A DONG CATCHER !!! HERE CATCH THIS
OH WAIT YOU SAID DOG

%
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100,000 readers 1 million readers
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I'M A LOBSTER AND I
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[PUNCHLINE REMOVED FOR PURPOSES OF NATIONAL SECURITY]

%
ANYONE WANT SOME BALLS ????
ANYONE ???????
___
.-Ooo0O-.
/.o0O0o0O0\ I HAVE BALLS
|:o0O0ooO0o0| MADE FRESH FOR
|:ooOo0o0oOo| YOUR FAT FACE
\.oOoo0o0O/
/`'O0o''\
jgs / (_) \
(`-.,___,.-')
`-.,___,.-'
%
_...._
' \
' _ \ HELP ME FIND MY PRICK
' ~-~ ,~` \
| '~~--~/~~`. . I SEEM TO HAVE LOST IT
| ,~~\ | .|\ AMONG THE DONG BUSHES
/|| `| || |
/ || ,\||\ ||\/ OR IS THAT BONG BUSHES
| || `/ \ / |'/~|
\/\`._/ | `-' /~~\_/ NO PRETTY SURE IT'S DONG
`-\ /~. \\_/ /
/--~\// | / , OH WHO AM I KIDDING I NEVER HAD ONE
<_| `-|_,' /
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|_,~'
%
|| __ ||
||=\_`\=|| I'M PRETTY SURE THAT FAYE WRAY IS
|| (__/ || AT THE TOP OF THIS LADDER
|| | | :-"""-.
||==| \/-=-. \
|| |(_|o o/ |_
|| \/ " \ ,_)
||====\ U /__/
|| ;--' `-. EITHER WAY I'M GOING TO CHUCK
|| / . \ BARRELS AT WHOEVER TRIES TO
||===; \ \ FOLLOW ME !!!!!!
|| | | |
_______\"""' _/_/
(~|_______ | (_ \
/ .' ( | ) \\_/
|_ / ||| |\\
/ _)=====||| | || D O N K E Y D O N G
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||======||
|| ||
%
MY MIDDLE FINGER IS A DONG
_
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%
.'`~~~~~~~~~~~`'.
( .'11 12 1'. )
| :10 2: |
| :9 @\ 3: |
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'. '..7 6 5..' .'
~-------------~ ldb
FOUR TWENTY !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
%
I SMELL LIKE FISH !!!!!!!!!!!!! SUCKY FUCKY
.-------------'```'----....,,__ _,
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THIS ONE SPEAKS FOR ITSELF

%
/~~~~~\ /~~~~~\
| (~' ~~~) |
\ \__________/ /
/~:::::::: ~\
/~~~~~~~-_| :::::::: |_-~~~~~~~\
\ ======= /| ::A::; A :|\ ====== /
~-_____-~ | _----------------_::| ~-____-~
|/~ ~\|
/ \ THIS BELL TELLS THE
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`\ ./' JERKING OFF AND QUITE
~-_______________-~ FRANKLY I'M PISSED OFF
/~~~~\ ABOUT IT
| |
| |
(________)
()
%
DUMBO ANGEL ZEPPO YOCTO THE MOLESTER
___,.,___ ___,.,___ ___,.,___ ___,.,___ ___,.,___
( ((")) ) ( ((")) ) ( ((")) ) ( ((")) ) ( ((")) )
\_/'@'\_/ \_/'@'\_/ \_/'@'\_/ \_/'@'\_/ \_/'@'\_/
/_____\ /_____\ /_____\ /_____\ /_____\ ldb
THE FIVE COCKSKETEERS

%
8
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88 .=--
88 :::: -', I'M TOO POOR TO AFFORD
88.:::,_ ` CLOTHES
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CLEARLY THIS SPECIMEN IS A GAY VAMPIRE HAMMERHEAD SHARK

%
_____
_.--"" ""--._
OPEN THE POD BAY _.-" "-._
DOOR PLEASE BART .F Y.
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/ ..___ ___.. \
AGLHGAHLGAHLGAHLG F / | """""-------""""" | \ Q
GHLAGHLGAHLGAHLAH F F (.-"""-. .-"""-.) Q Q
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HOLY GOD I'M J F /| o | | o |\ Q L
FILLING MY SUIT | J .`. .' `. .'. L |
WITH FOAMY POO | F ( " `-...-'( )'-...-' " ) Q |
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BMW
%
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.=" "=._.---. ________________________________
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/ , `. w_/ --| FUCK ME IN MY TIGHT LITTLE ASS |
| '-. / / \________________________________/
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%
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NERDS RULE !!! ' \|___|(u)|__|(u)|___|/ '
| '.__| |__.' |
IF YOU CALL `.| . . |.'
GETTING ASSRAPED ' `' _. '
BY ELVES AND ` `.. _.__.' ' ..
GNOMES RULING !!!!! \ | | | / .' '.
' '--'--' ' \._./
OR IS THAT JUST THE \ / .' |
D&D GEEKS '-._ _.-' .' .'
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I'M A SHARK )_))_))_) /
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W .__. .__.
[ ] |::| |::| LIFE
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|\ |:| ._. |::| |::| |/| LIBERTY
\ \\|/ |:|_|/| |::| |::|_ |/|
|-( )- |:|"|/|_|::| |::|\|_|/| _ THE PURSUIT OF HAPPINESS
| V L |:|"|/|||::| |::|\|||/||:|
\ ` ___ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ NONSTOP PAINFUL ASSRAPE
| \/ / ~~~~ ~~~~ ~~~ ~~~
GO AWAY !!! ALL FULL !!!!!!!!!!!!!

%
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FOR OBVIOUS REASONS WE CANNOT SHOW YOU WHAT

IS GOING ON BELOW THE DEVIL'S PANTYLINE
(HINT: THAT'S NOT A TRIDENT IN HIS RIGHT HAND)
%
nnnmmm
\||\ ;;;;%%%@@@@@@ \ //,
V|/ %;;%%%%%@@@@@@@@@@ ===Y//
68=== ;;;;%%%%%%@@@@@@@@@@@@ @Y I'VE GOT NO EYES AND A
;Y ;;%;%%%%%%@@@@@@@@@@@@@@ Y BIG MOUTH GANG UP ON ME
;Y ;;;+;%%%%%%@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@ Y IN A DISORDERLY FASHION
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PLEASE HELP ME
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_ _
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//o;o\ \
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'---' '---' DANNI ASHE PERHAPS /!??!!?!??
\ / \ /
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/_\ /_\-=TWP/LGB=-
%
FUCK YOU MIDDLE AMERICA
_____
|_ _|
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| _ |/ /\ \| | | | \ ` / | |/\| || || |/ /\ \| |\ \
| | | || || || |__ | | | | | |\ \/ /| || || || |
'-' '-'\ \/ /|____|| '--.|_| | /\ | '--' \ \/ /| |/ /
jgs '--' '----' '-' '-' '--' '---'
LAND OF THE FREE AND THE HOME OF THE DONG
%
**
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**~*******~* ** |****
** *** ** ** ******
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YES SENATOR I HAVE A QUESTION
WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH ME

%
^`. THIS IS THE
^_ \ \ WORST BLOWJOB EVER
\ \ { \
{ \ / `~~~--__ /
{ \___----~~' `~~-_ ______ _____
\ /// a `~._(_||___)________/___
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\/ \/ `~~~; ,---~~-_`~= \ \------o-' \
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GLUG ';|\ DB
%
|
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- -/_/_/- ^ ^ | ^ ^ -\_\_\- -
THIS IS NOT A POT LEAF

THIS IS A FAG LEAF
DON'T GET TOO CLOSE
%
_ /| INSERT CAREFULLY ..............

| |/)/)/)/)/)||~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~\
| (/(/(/(/(/-||,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,/
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%
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IF YOU OPEN MY TRUNK YOU'LL FIND HALF A DEAD PROSTITUTE

%
CGTCAGTCAGTCATGCATGCATGCATGC
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%
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/*\ I'M MICHAEL EISNER
/_*_\ /
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%
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NO EYE RAPE NO EAR RAPE NO MOUTH RAPE OKAY MOUTH RAPE
%
*
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MMMMM MY FATSUIT HAS EXPIRED
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\ \ ~ \~ /~~~/~~~/ ----,------- I'M GOING TO FUCK THIS
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/ \ | | I TITLE THIS ONE "UNINSPIRED" |_|
\ \ |_/ |_|
\_/\| | |
| _____________________________________________ | |
|\| | | |
| \ | | |
| |\ | | |
| | \ | | |
| | \ | |_|
| | | \_/
| | V
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|_____________________________________________|
______________________________________________
| 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 |
| S H A T T E R R E S I S T A N T | mga
|______________________________________________|
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.
amoeba
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|
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amoeba vaulting a high fence
amoeba with a bakers hat
amoeba with a broken leg
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AMOEBA AFTER A ROUGH NIGHT OF ANAL SEX IN THE BUTT

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*----* / / | \\ \ __/ O O\ GAY DRAGONS NEED LOVE TOO
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GET IT !?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!??!?!!?!??!!??
I'VE NEVER TOUCHED A GIRL
%
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()_______________________________________________)
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|_______________________________________________|
EITHER SOME SORT OF MUTANT IS INVADING THE UNITED

STATES OF AMERICA FROM THE SOUTH OR THEY'RE NOT
TEACHING BASIC GEOGRAPHY LIKE THEY USED TO
%
_
| |
|_|_ IF YOU LOOK CLOSELY YOU'LL FIND
[__(_) YOU CAN JUST BARELY RESOLVE MY NUTS
'-'\ \
_____| | TINY AREN'T THEY
'-----| |
____| |
[_______| mga
%
* * * * * * * * * *
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* * * * * * * * * *
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THE GAYEST CONSTELLATION EVER

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IF YOU'RE OUT THERE E.T. COME PICK ME UP

I NEED A RIDE TO THE 7-ELEVEN P.D.Q.
%
THIS IS A SCENE FROM A SMALL ITALIAN TOWN ___
WHERE I WAS FIRST RAPED \%%\
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NO WAIT THE SECOND TIME I WAS RAPED

%
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`. .' "THE NUTWRENCH: MY ORAL REPORT"
`. .'
| ][ | THE LEGEND OF THE NUTWRENCH GOES BACK TO THE
| ][ | GREAT DEPRESSION. IT WAS A SIMPLER TIME, WHERE
| ][ | NUTS WERE FLUNG AROUND WITH WILD ABANDON AND
| ][ | IF YOU DIDN'T SUCK COCK YOU WERE RUN OUT OF TOWN
| ][ | ON A RAIL. THE NUTWRENCH WAS PROBABLY INVENTED BY
| ][ | MARCONI WHO AS WE ALL KNOW DID NOT INVENT THE
| ][ | TELEPHONE BUT RATHER THE NUTWRENCH.
| ][ |
| ][ | THIS IS WHY NOBODY LIKES THE ITALIANS.
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I'M A MUMBLEFUCK
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+---------------------------------+ I SUCK I SUCK I SUCK
%
MODEM MOM NEEDS TO KEEP HER DAY JOB
|>
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WE THREE KINGS BE SUCKIN' THE DICKS

%
(START HERE) .------------------.
\ .-------->| SUCK COCKS UNTIL |
.-----------. / | FACE IS BLUE |
| FAGGOT |--' `------------------'
| PARSING |--. .------------------.
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| `-------->| ENOUGH YET ???? |
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I" ""=="|" !""! "|"[]""| _____ I STEPPED IN ANOTHER AT-AT'S SHIT
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%
NO I DO NOT WANT TO KNOW THE RAPTURE OF JESUS
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THIS IS THE BEST
ANAL FISTING SITE
I HAVE EVER SEEN
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| | \o | | THAT'S THE LAST TIME I WANK
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WE DON'T HAVE TO CARE !!!!!!! WE'RE THE PHONE COMPANY !!!!!!

WAIT A MINUTE I FUCKED UP THIS IS THE WRONG CORPORATE LOGO !!!!!
GODDAMNIT I'M FIRING THAT WORTHLESS ASSISTANT
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THIS IS A MOST DISTURBING UNIVERSE

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(LEGLESS MEANS "WITHOUT LEGS")

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HERE WE SEE THE SLEEPING DONGEATER
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EITHER WAY IT REALLY CHOKES THEM DOWN
%
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WHO INVITED THE QUEERS

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HERE'S THE WORLD WAR II FLYING ACE ASKING FOR
A COCK IN THE MOUTH BECAUSE HE'S EITHER BI OR
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I WANTED TO GO SOMEWHERE MORE CRUISY
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DUDE PIKACHU TAKES IT UP THE ASS

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%
AM I OUR LORD AND SAVIOR JESUS CHRIST
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OR AM I JUST YOUR RUN-OF-THE-MILL SCARECROW

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CHOKES IT ON DOWN FOR YOUR SINS

%
MY FIRST WELL ACTUALLY MY BBS SHOW OFF SIGNATURE
xxxxxx _/\_
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xxx=( SPACE MAN SPIFF )>
x xx=(___________________________________)>
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DEFENDER OF THE GALAXY
HEY MARCY WELCOME TO DIPSHIT ALLEY

%
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WOOO WOOOO !!!!!! I HAVE A

WAND HERE PEOPLE
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I AM GOING TO SUCK YOU OFF AND THEN

YOU ARE GOING TO HIRE ME A CAB AND
I AM GOING TO GO HOME WITHOUT
FURTHER DISCUSSION
%
,~~,_
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IN EACH EPISODE I SUCK THE COYOTE OFF !!!!!!!!
I'M SO FAST NO ONE NOTICES HOWEVER !!!!!!!
MEEP MEEP !!!!!

%
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FUCK OW FUCK SHIT
AT THE VERY LEAST I COULD GET

SOME NICE SKIN LOTION TO RUB
ON MY TITS
%
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OOOmmmmmmmmmm\\\\\\\\\\mmmmmmOO / /
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mmm\ \mmmmmmmnnmmmmmmmmmmnnnnnnnnn/ /nnmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmnnnn
mmmm\ \mmmmmnnnnnmmmmmmmmmnnnnnn/ /nnmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmnmmnnnn
mmmmm\ \mmmmnnnnnnnmmmmmmmmnnn/ /nnmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmnnnnnnnnn
mmmmmm\ \mmnnnnnnnnnmmmmmmn/ /nnnnnnmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmnnnnnnnnnn
mmmmmmm\ \nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn/ /nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn
mmmmmmmm\ \nmnnnnnnnnnnn/ /nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnmmmnnn
mmmmmmmmm\ \nnnnnnnnnn/ /nnnnnnnmmnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnmmmmmmmnn
mmmmmmmmmm\ \nnnnnn/ /nnnnnnnnmmmmmmnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnmmmmmmmnnn
mmmmmmmmnnnn\ \n/ /nnnnnnnnmmmmmmmmmmmmmnnnnnnnnnnnmmmmmmmmmnn
mmmmmmmmnnnnnn\ /nnnnnnnnnnnnnmmmmnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnmmmmmmmmmnn
WELCOME TO THE GALLERY OF THE WORST FUCKING DRAWINGS EVER
AND STAR TREK NO LESS

%
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MORE LIKE JOE QUEER
AM I RIGHT PEOPLE ?????????

%
___________
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/__________/ |
|.---------.| | YOU CAN VIEW
|| || | PORN ON ME
|| || |
|| || |
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MY JULY 4TH PLANS
I>>>>> \ /
/ H \ - o -
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GOOD CHRIST / H \
/ H \ \ / I NEVER KNEW
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\ / H \ / \ WOULD CHAFE
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WHITE POWER !!!!!!!!!!!! I MEAN POWDER
OH JESUS CHRIST THAT WAS A MISPRINT

I'M GOING TO BE HATED FOREVER
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_-~~~~- THIS PILE OF DOGSHIT
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IT'S FUNKY FUZZBALL !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
TODAY'S ADVENTURE: FUZZBALL SUCKS DICK
=======================================================================
JESUS CHRIST DON'T MAKE YOU WILL PAY FOR YOUR CRIMES
ME I BEG OF YOU
/;;;\ NAMELY NOT HELPING ME WHEN
MY MOUTH IS ONLY SO BIG |O O| THE BULLIES PICKED ON ME
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DUH YOU THINK

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IF I DRIVE FAST ENOUGH
MAYBE I CAN GET THESE
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A PATHETIC DRAWING OF A PATHETIC CARTOON CHARACTER
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POUND DOWN THIS FROSTY MUG OF PISS

COME ON DON'T SQUIRM
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/ | | | O || \| | \\ \ /
/ |_| \_/ |_|\__| _// \ /
/________________________________________\/
oo <---------------- YOUR BALLS

%
.
. .
. .
. .
. .
_ ____ __ __ _____ _ _____ ____ ____
| | | |/ _ \| \/ | ____| | | ____/ ___/ ___|
| |_| | | | | |\/| | _| | | | _| \___ \___ \
. | _ | |_| | | | | |___| |___| |___ ___) |__) | .
|_| |_|\___/|_| |_|_____|_____|_____|____/____/
. .
. .
. .
. . Borne
.
%
___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___
| |_| |_| | | |_| |_| | ROMEO, ROMEO
\ / \ / WHEREFORE ART THOU ROMEO
| | | |
| \ / [O /
| | \ / | |`
| T \ / T | SUCK A COCK LADY
| \__/ | I HAVE THE BIGGEST
| | ### HARDON IN HISTORY
| | #MAX#
| ,-`-. ,-`-. | ### /
| |+++++| |\____/| |+++++| | V /
| |+++++| | | |^^^^^| | I /
| |^^^^^| | | | | | I \o
|__,|___w,;_v_|,_ii._|_,.| _,,|!,_| X A
%
_____________________
. ' . ' . ' _.=" _..=="\
-------.--'--------.--'-----//##################\\\>7'|
. ' . ' . |\'`"|`'" . ' |/'` |
. ' . ' | | ' . '| |
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. ' ~(">;\ ' . ' . '
. // . ' . ' . '
-----.--'--------.--'--------.--'---------.--'--
. ' . ' . ' . '
----- +----------------------------------------+-
. |JESSE ROAMED THE PRAIRIE LONELY, LOOKING|
|FOR DICK LIKE ONLY THE REAL COWBOYS DID |
----. | |
| P.S. JESSE'S HORSE WAS GAY TOO | '
+----------------------------------------+
.- '-
. ' . ' . ' . ' Phideaux
%
NO MORE HIGH GAS PRICES !!!!!!!!!!!!!!! OR THIS
*************
******,.';.,.;',';.******
****';.,.;'';.<>:":><.;';.,>;****
**';.,.;':><>:";.,.;':><>:":.,.;';.**
*';.,.;';.,,,,.;":><>:":><>:";.,.;';.,*
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***';.,.;':><;* || ||.| | *';.,.;';.,;***
**":.,.;'":* |>|| || | *.,.;.,.;;**
***;.,.;** || | ||| **:><>:***
****** | |||| | ******
|||| | |
| |||||
|| | | |
| |||||||
|| | | |
| | || |
||| | |||
| | || |
.*#|| || |||#*.
.*#@@| || || |@@#*.
--------------------------------------------------------------
%
DON'T HATE ME BECAUSE I'M BEAUTIFUL
|~ |~ |~ |~
[`] [`]-.-.-[`] [`]
|^|-.-.-.-.-.-.-|^| |^|-.-.-.-.-.-.-|^|
| | | | /^\ | | | |
jgs |_|_____________|_|_|#|_|_|_____________|_| âNT
ALSO CHECK OUT THESE KNOCKERS

%
_________________ _________________
~-. \ |\___/| / .-~
~-. \ / o o \ / .-~
> \\ W // <
/ /~---~\ \
/_ | | _\
~-. | | .-~
; \ / i
/___ /\ /\ ___\
~-. / \_/ \ .-~
V V
IF YOU LOOK CLOSELY YOU CAN SEE THE MUZZLE AND
THE CLEAR LACK OF GENITALIA
THIS IS ONE OF THEM QUEER BATS IT IS

%
______________________/%%*%%*%%*%%*%%*%\_____________________
//~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~| I\ I ___ I ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~\\
I: ##### | I \ | (__ | REGISTERED SEX OFFENDER :I
I: #### _\_ | I \| ___) |__ OFFICIAL LICENSE !! :I
I: ##=-[.].] | <-><-><-><-> exp. 11/03<-><-><-><-><-><->:I
I: #( _\ | Name: FATTY MCFUCKFACE :I
I: # \__| | Email: FATTY@NETWORKSOLUTIONS.COM :I
I: \___/ | Occupation: SUCKING EVERYTHING IN SIGHT :I
I: .' `. | Eye color: WHO :I
I: ( ) , ) | Hair color: WHAT :I
I: | | | | | Location: WASHINGTON, D.C. :I
I: | | n | | | Newsgroups: YOU CAN SEE A DICK POKING :I
*__________________|__________________________________________*
\%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%/
%
10101010101.' .`.\._0 0 _.|._ 1 1_./.`. '.0101010101010101010
01010101. ' .' . .\._` ` _|_ ` `_./. . '. ' .0101010101010101
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`-._. - ` . ' .' . .\._` `|` `_./. . '. ' . ` - ._.-'01010101
`-._ ` . ' .' . .\._` | `_./. . '. ' . ` _.-' 010101010
`-._. ' .' . .\._`|`_./. . '. ' ._.-' 01010101
`-._ .' . .\._|_./. . '. _.-' 0101010
`-.____.\.|./.____.-' 010101
_/_/__\_\|/_/__\_\_ 1010
________________/.--##/#//-\\#\##--.\_______________________1
// \##{-(@)=(@)-}##/ \\ 0
|| _.-'.\-\VVV/-/.`-._ || 0101
_|-'_ . -./--|--\.- .- `-|_ 101010
_.-'' -_ . -./.- | -.\.- .- _- `-._ 1010101
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'0 - . , ' -_ . -./.- ` `|` ` -.\.- .- _- ` , . -1`10101010
010101010'0-_ . -./.- ` ` | ` ` -.\.- .- _-0`0101010101010101
1010101010101. -./.- ` ` -|- ` ` -.\.- .-10101010101010101010
01010101010101-./.-1`1`1-.|.-0`0`0-.\.-0101010101010101010101
10101010101010101010101010|1010101010101010101010101010101010 NS
IT'S A THOLIAN WEB !11! OR MAYBE MY JIZZ IN A GLASS

%
/ : / : / : / :
/ : / : / : / :
(~~~ ) (~~~ ) (~~~ ) (~~~ )
~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~ Dody
STOMP STOMP STOMP STOMP
ATTEMPTING TO SQUISH YOUR BALLS

%
__..--''``---....___ _..._ __
/// //_.-' .-/"; ` ``<._ ``.''_ `. / // /
///_.-' _..--.'_ \ `( ) ) // //
/ (_..-' // (< _ ;_..__ ; `' / ///
fL / // // // `-._,_)' // / ``--...____..-' /// / //
I'M TOO LAZY TO GROPE YOUR BALLS SO IF YOU COULD JUST

BRING THEM A LITTLE CLOSER I'D APPRECIATE IT
%
YOU GUYS ARE TOTALLY GAY
WHERE IS MY FUCKING NOSE /

/
\ /
/\. /
/\. _-_ /:_\/.
ejm98 /:_\/ /'. .'\ ___ /__:_\/ .
/(|`/ !)\ /:__/__:___\/./
| \ = / |/ / /\:___:__\/
` --- ./ / / /\
/--- -----\/ / / /
/--- ----- `/ / /
_/--- __ _/ ' `/ /
~) / /XXX/ ! `/
.(_/^\|_|_|XXX|_|_|_'|_/
./|~|\ ~) ~)
/'/'/'|'.(_/^\ ~) ~) ~) .'(_/^\
./|~|\ ~) .'(_/^\'..'(_/^\'..'(_/^\' /|~|\
/ /'/'/'|''(_/^\' /|~|\ /|~|\ /|~|\ / / / |
/|~|\ / / / | / / / | / / / |
FINDUM / / / / | /
/ / /
SUCKUM / FLEE
WIPEUM LICKUM FUCKUM
JERKUM
%
___|___
| |
| __H |
| /\- \ | ~---,
|/::\=-\| \_,^%---
||::|[]|| /> \
_|_______|_ ___/ > I AM DISTURBINGLY SURREAL AND INHUMAN
/|\ (# o) >
/ | \ '-~ /|^^ I ASK YOU: WHICH IS THE PAINTING AND
/ | \ ejm | \ WHICH IS THE PAINTER
OH FUCK IT GALGAGAHLGAHLGAHLGAHLGA
%
BEAVER !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
GET IT ???????????????????????????????????????????????????????
\
\
\ ___
\ \ ('+'`)_------_ ######
>< W -##########
} { ejm 96 /|/----\|\ #######
} { " " " "
%
*
* ,,, I'M QUACKERONOMOUS !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
____()() } FUCK ME IN MY TIGHT LITTLE ASS
======= (
\\ \
\\____===.
______) ( )\(____
/ ___/ \ [%]__ \
//|| // \ ||\\
|| ||__^^^ ^^^___|| ||
ejm97 ||/____\_/----\_/_____\||
| ____________________ ||
|| || || ||
|| || || ||
|| || || ||
|| ||
%
WHAT KIND OF CRACKED OUT SHIT IS THIS
\\ \\
\\ \\
\\_\\
\ ( @.@) %
\== < == %
/ \_ == %
| _ ==== % %
(")\ \ ====%=
ejm / ======
%
.="""=._ I'M GOING TO SUCK YOUR DICK MR. GOPHER
/ ., .) YOU JUST WAIT I'M GOING TO SUCK IT
/__(,_.-'/
` // //
// (( FUCK I BROKE MY NECK
| \ \\
~~~~~ |~~\ !)~~~~~~~
~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~jgs/ejm
%
. .
. . .
:|||:|==========x=
|_\' ' '
\ \ ___' '
\ \ /-- /
\ `-|O|/-. I SUCK DOWN THEM DICKS
`/ `-| LIKE A CHEAP VIETNAMESE
| | | | WHORE
\ - /|-|
| - |')) A WHORE'S A WHORE THE
/_____\ WORLD AROUND I SAYS
.' ::: '.
: ::: '.
' : :
'. .'
'. .'
' '.' jg
'
%
____________________
//~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~\\
I: ,#######, |I
I: ,############ |I
I:,#### #### ## |I
I:#### ` # |I
I:## "" "" |I
I:#' (_Q/ \Q_) |I
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I: ( , __) / |I
I: \ .##### / `) |I
I: |\ \___'___. (' |I
I: | '.__;.__/ \\("")|I
I: | | `--' |I
*____________________*
JESUS CHRIST THIS GUY'S PASSPORT

PHOTO SHOWS HIM SUCKING DICK !!!!!!
P.S. IN MY COUNTRY WE DON'T SPELL

OUR FUCKING NAMES WITH DEGREE
SYMBOLS (QUEERNUTS)
%
((( ,,
( *)========/\====
)( / \
__________/ ) / \
\___EJM96 / / \,^
\____ _/ / =%^^^^^\
/ \__/ /----------\
/____|__//_ ( IT'S A )
| ( STEAMING )
| ( TURD !! )
| (________)
_|__
\\
CONGRATULATIONS FUCKFACE
%
____________________
|\ sh o /|
| \ o o / |
| o\ -' o|
\ \ o ..-''o |
\ o \,---'' .-
\ | o .-
\ | o .-'
\|....-'''
I HAVE A DICK ADDICTION (DICKTION)

FUCK ME IN MY TIGHT LITTLE ASS
%
I WANT HEAD
RIGHT THIS
FUCKING SECOND
\ .-.
/_ _\
|oô|
\ _ /
.-'-'-. BLEEP BOOP BLOOP
/`) . (`\ (THIS MEANS YES)
/ /|.-'-.|\ \ /
\ \| (_) |/ / .-""-.
\_\'-.-'/_/ /[] _ _\
/_/ \_/ \_\ _|_o_LII|_
|'._.'| / | ==== | \
| | | |_| ==== |_|
\_|_/ ||" || ||
|-|-| ||LI o ||
jgs |_|_| ||'----'||
/_/ \_\ /__| |__\
%
I WOULD SUCK YOU OFF IF THIS
WALL OF MY GLASS CAGE WASN'T
IN THE FUCKING WAY
___________________________
//~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~\\
|: / _) __ _ |;
|: |/ __(__)(_) |:
|: (__)\ | ( _ |:
|: .______ __\ (_)|:
|: /:::::::\/:;--. / |:
|: (::::::;^:;^\__/_ | |:
|: _/:::::/___ ,-\:::\ \ |:
|: (:::::::/---\\A/:::|\ \ |:
|: (::+::+::)---< \::( \ \|:
|: (:(_)(_)/ \_) |::)/ /|:
|: (:(_)-, >-. ,_ |:(/ / |:
|: (:(_)- (__/._,\,'/::/ / |:
|: (:::::> ,::::>---/::/ /) |:
|: (:::/ / |--' /::) |:
|: / / gnv / |:
\\_________________________//
(A TRAPPED SPECIMEN
COCKSUCKIS MENTIS)
%
HOLY GOD IT'S WORSE THAN RAPE
\ .
\ .OO FUCK YES !!!!!!!!!!
\ .OOOO
\ .OOOO' /
OOOO' .-~~~~-. /
OOO' / (o)(o) /
.OOOOOO Ò .OOOOOOO. / .. | /
.OOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOO/\ \____/
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.OOOOOO%%%OOOOOOOOOOOOOOO\ \\ \/OO.
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`""""""' `""""""'
%
,-. ____
,-. / ()__ \____ I'LL GIVE YOU THREE GUESSES
/ // _-()__ \-_ AS TO WHAT I DO TO MYSELF
\ || ,-. _- , / -_ ALL DAY WITH THESE ENORMOUS
\ \\/ | _- ./ -_ HANDS OF MINE HERE
\ ,-. / /"\ /"\ _-
,-. // \O/ \O/ _-
/ // `. ,-. _- HOT DAMN RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY
\ ||`.,-. `._; _-
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FOLKS IT'S NOT MY FAULT I SUCK DICKS 24/7

I DON'T SEE WHY THAT SHOULD PREVENT ME FROM
BEING CATHOLIC
OH WAIT YES I DO
FAGGOTS RULE !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

%
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//\]/\ ___ \\||// ___ /\[/\\
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,_____________________
l
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l { / ,__\
l { `}'- -/ WAIT TITS
l {`}'\ _,
l U__| T__, TITS I MEAN TITS
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/| |___|___|___|___|___|
.| |/| | |...| | | STOP STARING AT ME
/ | / |___|_.///\\\\._|___| FUCKER
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LOOK MOM IT'S JURASSIC PLOP
WE WOULD ALSO HAVE ACCEPTED:

LOOK MOM IT'S A SUCKULOSAURUS
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THIS ONE IS JUST NOT FUNNY

%
888888888888888888888888888888888}}}}}}}}}}}}}} ELVIS IS A HERO TO
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88888888888888888888888888888 { }}}}}}}}}}} BUT HE NEVER MEANT
8888888888888888888888888888 { }}}}}}}}}} SHIT TO ME
8888 o/ 8888888888888888 { }}}}}}}}}}
8 I'M DREAMING 8888888888888 \ ////////// STRAIGHT OUT RACIST
88 888888888888888 \ /////////// THAT SUCKER WAS
888 OF SOME 8888888888888888 PEACE/////////// SIMPLE AND PLAIN
88888 8888888888888888888 ***ON\\\\\\\\\\\
8888 COOL 888888888888888888 EARTH/////////// MOTHERFUCK HIM AND
888 88888888888888888 XXXXX\\\\\\\\\\\ JOHN WAYNE
88 WEATHER 8888888888888888 PEACE///////////
88 o/ 8888888888888888 ON***\\\\\\\\\\\
8888 888888888888888888 EARTH///////////
888888888888888888888888888888 XXXXX\\\\\\\\\\\
888888888888888888888888888888 PEACE///////////
888888888888888888888888888888 ***ON\\\\\\\\\\\
888888888888888888888888888888 EARTH///////////
888888888888888888888888888888 XXXXX\\\\\\\\\\\
888888888888888888888888888888 PEACE///////////
888888888888888888888888888888 ON***\\\\\\\\\\\
888888888888888888 \===========EARTH==========/
8888888888888888888 \XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX/
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXmondaysmom
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WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON HERE

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.-'`\ '/_ THAT MY LOVE FOR DICK KNOWS NO BOUNDS
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|[] []|
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| |
| . . | I'M
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| ` . . ` | OF
| ________________ | A
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IF YOU LOOK CLOSELY YOU CAN

SEE THIS IS A GAY BRAIN
%
SENSEI CAN WE NOT BOMB THE
SHIT OUT OF DIRTY COUNTRIES NOW
SOON GRASSHOPPER SOON
GREATER TEACHER IS THERE NOT

CATHARSIS IN HORRIBLY KILLING
THOSE WHO DESERVE IT
OH WHO CARES LET'S LICK DICK
GAHLGAHLGAHLGAHLGAHLGAHLGAHLGAHLAG
GHLUGLHUGAHLGHLUGHLUGHLUG
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GET IT ???????? I FUCKING SUCK COCK !!!!!!
%
__ _ _ _ ________ _ / \\\ SPREAD OPEN MY CHEEKS
\ \| `.| `.| `\ \ \ \ `.' \ [.[.]-\\ AND TEACH ME MY ABC'S
\ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ _, \ /_ /|/
/\ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ (jg) {-} |= ___/
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A IS FOR ASSHOLE
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%
I'D BETTER NOT QUIT
MY DAY JOB
__
/**\
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krislop
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______________ ________ _________
/A.Luckashenko/\ /V.Putin/\ /L.Kuchma/\
/____Belarus__/__\ /_Russia/__\ /_Ukraine/__\
I WAS DRAWN BY A DOWN SYNDROME KID

ALSO POSSIBLY A THALIDOMIDE BABY
WE'LL HAVE TO GET BACK TO YOU ON THAT
%
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OKAY WE'LL MAKE THIS ONE EXCEPTION

%
.
___|_____
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DEAR GENIUS
DON'T QUIT YOUR DAY JOB
THANK YOU FOR YOUR ATTENTION
%
.--.
|/`-\ HOLY GOD I SHOULDN'T HAVE
__ _( '\' SLAMMED DOWN THAT LAST
_.-' | __(, HAITIAN DICK
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DON'T MESS
WITH TEXAS
%
O )) ( ( \ \_.-' \ O )) ( ( \ \_.-
\_.' | `. \ __ | \_.' | `. \
\#_/ `-._/ JERKY . / _`. \#_/ `-._/ FAGS
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__ | \_.' | `. \ ' __ | \_/
. / _`. \#_/ `-._/ YANKS . / _`. \#_/
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( ( \ \_.-' \ O )) ( ( \ \_.-'
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| \_.' | `. \ ' __ | \_.' | `. \
\#_/ `-._/ . / `. \#_/ `-._/ fL
HUMPTY DUMPTY WAS PUSHED !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1
WHAT
%
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STOP SMOKING CRACK AND GET A REAL GOD

%
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.' `. `. HELP HELP THERE'S A BUG ON MY TITS
/ .' .'`..'`. \ \
; / / ` \ \ \ OH GOD JESUS AND BABY JESUS
' \ `. ; HYPERVENTILATING GHLGAHLGAHLAG
: : : ` ; ;
; ; ; `. / / OKAY OKAY CALM DOWN CALM DOWN
s*s+. .+s*s :+.' BETTER DO MEDITATION EXERCISES
: : ' . \ , ` :/:
; ; `""' `""' ) ; CALM BLUE OCEAN
`-._ : ,_. CALM BLUE OCEAN
`"; :() CALM BLUE OCEAN
: *-* ;
\ ._. / HOLY JESUS IT'S NOT WORKING
`. 'T$P` .' BBUBUBUBUBULBUBUB
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.----------------------------.
( I LIKE MY DICK HARD AND FAST )
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( I LIKE COCK THAT CAN GO FOR DAYS )
(|) ,'--------------------------------'
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( I FUCKING EAT SHIT (I'M IN THE TALIBAN) )
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AIDS ON US PLEASE
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THE EMPIRE DOESN'T LIKE SAMOANS FOR SOME REASON (THEY'RE VERY RUDE)
%
\/ ,-------------------------.
(oO) | WE ARE ALIENS FROM MARS |
vv __ | WE ARE ALL HIV POSITIVE |
JL | WE WILL INFECT YOU TOO |
`-------------------------'
%
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HOPE YOU'RE COOL WITH ALLAH MOTHERFUCKER
SIGNED SEALED DELIVERED YOU'RE DEAD
ALSO TAKE A FUCKING SHOWER ONCE A MONTH

%
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HERE WE SEE DILBERT AFTER SPYING

DOGBERT'S READY AND WILLING DONG
FUCKING FAGGOT
%
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| | \/~~~~~~~~~~~` ^^^^^^^ \=/
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THIS HAMMER, SCREWDRIVER, NAIL, AND SCREW WOULD LIKE TO EXTEND THEIR
HEARTFELT SORROW AT THE TRAGEDY THAT TOOK PLACE ON SEPTEMBER 11, 2001
WE WILL NEVER FORGET THE DAMAGE THAT WAS DONE TO THE PEOPLE OF THIS
GREAT NATION ON THAT FATEFUL DAY
WE ALL BOW OUR HEADS SILENTLY (EXCEPT FOR THE SCREWDRIVER WHO DOESN'T
REALLY HAVE A HEAD)
%
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%
LOOK AT THOSE BEARS' NOSES !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HOW DARE THEY
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
(o\-"-/o) (o(>o<)o) (o\~~~/o) (o\>9</o) (o\---/o)
( e e ) ( . . ) ( @ @ ) ( 6 6 ) ( a a )
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(___,'.___) (___,'.___) (___,'.___) (___,'.___) (___,'.___)
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zF .e. b I BEAR WITNESS THAT THERE IS NO GOD BUT
zF $$$$- b ALLAH AND THAT MUHAMMAD IS HIS MESSENGER
zF "*" * THERE IS AMERICA HIT BY GOD IN ONE OF ITS
zF.ee. .ec * SOFTEST SPOTS ITS GREATEST BUILDINGS WERE
zF $$$$ 4$$$$ *. DESTROYED THANK GOD FOR THAT THERE IS
JF "" "*" *. AMERICA FULL OF FEAR FROM ITS NORTH TO
J" . . . 3r ITS SOUTH FROM ITS WEST TO EAST THANK
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d" "$P" ^*$* ^*$* "c NOW IS SOMETHING INSIGNIFICANT
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d"4$$$r 4$$$. d$$b $$$c'b SCORES OF YEARS OUR NATION HAS BEEN
d" ^$$$" ^$$$" *$$* *$$" 'b TASTING THIS HUMILIATION AND THIS
d" ^$ OH WHO THE FUCK AM I KIDDING I'M
d".d$c e$b. z$b. e$b. z$$c^$ A FUCKING DIPSHIT DEAD MAN
'$ *$$$ '$$$P $$$P ^$$$P $$$$ ^$
"b. " " ^ ^ ^" .dP Gilo94'
""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""
%
(MAN WHAT QUEERS)
___
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I'M GAYER THAN THOU

*
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|____\|___|
NO MY LOVE |`'-.:.-'`|
YOU ARE NOT |_.-':'-._|
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%
,.---.
,,,, / _ `. I AM A SPACESHIP
\\\\ / \ ) BOUND FOR ALPHA
|||| /\/``-.__\/ CENTAURI C
::::/\/_
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{{{{{{ { ( ( ( ( (-----:=
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|||| \/\ ,-'/\ FOR GOD'S SAKE
jgs //// \ `` _/ ) DON'T YANK THAT
'''' \ ` / LEVER GLHGALHGAHLG
`---''
%
_..._
.:::::::.
::::::::::: FUCKING ANNOYING
:::::::::::
`:::::::::'
`':::''
_..._
.::::. `.
:::::::. : WON'T FUCKING DO DISHES
:::::::: :
`::::::' .'
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:::::: :
`::::: .'
`'::.-'
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: :::::: HAS TO SPEND TIME WITH HER IDIOT FRIENDS
: ::::::
`. :::::'
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: :::::::: BLOWJOBS AND COCKSUCKING GALORE
: ::::::::
`. '::::::'
jgs `-.::''
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:::::::::::
`:::::::::'
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I SMOKE POT
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___________|___|___| | `^^^`||=\\-._| |
|________|___|___|_| | `' |
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|_| |_|___|___|_| <more scenery> | |
__|____|___|___|___| | |
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_|0o|_ _,_o o| | |
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| |
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<more scenery> o| | |
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| |
_____ | |
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((\_/(O) \\||/ | |
// \\ | | | |
|_| |_| | | | Bateau |
IT'S NETHACK !!!!!!! I HAVE TO SEARCH FOR THE AMULET OF YENDOR !!!!!!!
BY JESUS' BUTTONS I'VE NEVER TOUCHED A GIRL

%
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%
|
\ _ /
-= (_) =-
I MISS AALIYAH
.\/. / \
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| |//o\ /###/#\ //o\ /o\\| /| \
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WHERE'S MY HEAD
%
__ __
.' '.' `. DO YOU HAVE A ROCK ??????
_.-| o | o |-._
.~ `.__.'.__.'^ ~. I'LL SUCK YOUR FUCKING DICK
.~ ^ / \ ^ ~. FOR A TEN DOLLAR ROCK
\-._^ ^| | ^_.-/
`\ `-._ \___/ ^_.-' /' ________/
`\_ `--...--' /'
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| ^ /| ^ |
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`\^ | ^ | THANK GOD I DON'T HAVE TO DO ANYTHING
`~| ^ | TRUST ME YOU DON'T WANT TO KNOW
| ^ ^ |
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^\ /"
" . .- Gilo94'
"" ""
THIS IS USED IN "CURLING"

IF YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN
OH DON'T BE SQUEAMISH YOU KNOW EXACTLY

WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT
fucking faggot
SORRY WAS THAT OUT LOUD

%
/)))))))))
//) __ __\ DEAR "COMMANDER TACO"
C==/_o|^|o_\
| _\ )
\ '---'/ HEY GUESS WHAT ??????
_/`-. __.'_
/` \`'-,._./|\ THE REST OF US LOST OUR GAY
/ \ /`\_/\/ \ FUCKING CHILDHOOD HANDLES
/ , ||| |\ , \ WHEN WE GREW THE FUCK UP
| |:===: / | | |
| /|:~~~: | / | | LOVE, THE ENTIRE WEST COAST
\ \ '-' \/ / /
`\ \==I==[]=/ /
\o_\ |o/ P.S. NICE FUCKING POCKET
/ ) |\ PROTECTOR DIPSHIT
| /\| J |/
|/| | |
| | |
| | |
| | |
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| | |
|_____|__|
[_____]__]
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| 88 88 WILL FUCKING SUCK COCK |
| 88ba,___,d8P FOR FOOD |
| "888888888 OR AT LEAST DRUGS |
| ~~~~~~ |
%
_____________________________________________________________
| I AM NOT ALLOWED TO FORCIBLY RAPE ROD AND TODD ^^^^^^^^\ |
| I AM NOT ALLOWED TO FORCIBLY RAPE ROD AND TODD | | |
| I AM NOT ALLOWED TO FORCIBLY RAPE ROD AND TODD |_ __ | |
| I AM NOT ALLOWED TO FORCIBLY RAPE ROD AND TODD (.(. ) | |
| I AM NOT ALLOWED TO FORCIBLY RAPE ROD AND _ (_ ) |
| \\ /___/' / |
| _\\_ \ | |
| (( ) /====| |
| \ <.__._- \ |
|___________________________________________ <//___. ||
%
___
.-v'---`\. COULD THIS BE ANGEL FROM QUAKE III ????
/:/__ : __\'.
|:/<O_>|<O>|:| MAYBE A FEMBOT ???????
|:|\_..J...|:|
_|:|\ t----j|:|_ OR PERHAPS CAMILLE FROM RED DWARF ????
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/ < :|- : /
|...| :|- : /
\_/. :|- :|
| :|- :| JESUS GOD THESE CRAPPY SCIFI REFERENCES
cjr \ :|- :/ ARE MAKING MY COLON ITCH
| |- |
%
.._ (()))) _ |--|
//\\\ )) _ _)) ,' ; o' o'
((-.-\) (C ) / /^ | __
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( \ ,-)() /_.')/ o' o'
| | .)(. |\ \ / ( `' /\_)
| | _ _| \ \ / , _ / 1 \
\ \/ '-' (__\_\____o_o / / / \/ /|\ \
\__\\[][]____(_\_|___} / / /__/ <( \ \
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: [ \ \_____|,/.' //
: | \ \ || :: ((
: | \ \ \ \_::_)) |
:( | / )) | [ |
MJP: | / / | Y |CJR+
THESE ARE BY FAR THE MOST ODDLY SHAPED DONGS

WE HAVE EVER SEEN
%
______________________________________________________
| _____________________ || __ __ _ __ _ |
||=|=|=|=|=|=|=|=|=|=|=| __..\/ | |_| ||#||==| / /|
|| | | | | | | | | | | |/\ \ \\|++|=| || ||==| / / |
||_|_|_|_|_|_|_|_|_|_|_/_/\_.___\__|_|__||_||__|/_/__|
|____________________ /\~()/()~//\ __________________| JRO
| __ __ _ _ \_ (_ _/ _ ___ _ _ _|
||~~|_|..|__| || |_ _ \ //\\ / |=|_ /) |___| | | |
||--|+|^^|==|1||2| | | _/\ __ /\_ | |(\/((\ +|+|=|=|=|
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|_________________ _/ \| |/ \_ / |__________|
| _____ _ __ |/ \/ \/ / __ ___|
||_____|_| |_|##|_|| | . __\ / /=|_|++|_|-|||
||______||=|#|--| |\ \ . \ / |~| | | |||
"MY SHIT TASTES LIKE STRAWBERRIES"

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| |_| | |___ / ___ \| _ < | |_| |___) / ___ \| | | |/ ___ \
|____/|_____/_/ \_\_| \_\ \___/|____/_/ \_\_| |_/_/ \_\
YOU WILL DIE SOON

HERE'S SOME CANDLES BITCH
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/` `>. __ .-'`-|___|_ )
|\ (^ >' `>-----._/ ) YEAH IT'S A MICROPHONE
| `._\ / / / | --- -; YEAH THAT'S THE TICKET
: `| ( ( | ___ _/
\ `. `\ \_\ ___ _/ COME ON YOU FAGGOT SUCK
`. `-='`t----' `--.______/ MY DICK LIKE YOU'VE
`. ,-''-.) |---| NEVER SUCKED BEFORE
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| | V AND DON'T TELL ME YOU
cjr |-''`-. `. HAVEN'T BECAUSE I KNOW
2nov01 / ,-'-.\ `-. YOUR TYPE
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____________________________________
/ /|
/__________________________________ /||
| ||||
| O--------O ||||
|__________________________________||||
| ||||
| ______________ ||||
| [XXXXXXXXXXXXX/ ||||
| /XX/ ||||
| /XX/ ||||
| /XX/ ||||
| /XX/ ||||
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,__________________________________,/|'Gr
COMMONLY SEEN IN BOTH RURAL AND URBAN PARTS OF

THE FORMER SOVIET REPUBLICS, THIS SIGN READS:
"SEVEN RUBLE WHORES"

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,.-----'~~; | | (_(_(______)| |
(_(_(_______) | | ,-----`~~~\
,-----`~~~\ (_(_(_______)
(_(_(_______)jgs
HOLY FUCKING CHRIST THAT THING'S TRYING TO TELESCOPE AROUND MY COCK

AND CHOKE THE LIFE OUT OF ME GHLGLUHGLHUG HYPERVENTILATING AND PISSING
ALL OVER MYSELF AND OTHERS AND CAUSING A BIG MESS AND CALLING THE COPS
BUT I'M SO SCARED I CAN'T DIAL AND CAN ONLY MASH MY PALM AGAINST THE
KEYPAD AND NOW I'M HYPERVENTILATING HUHHHHHHHHHH FEELING FAINT HUHHHHH
HOLY JESUS MY HEART IS BEATING SO FAST HUHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH OKAY NOW
FEELING RATHER FAINT AND GIDDY LALALALALALA OKAY DOGGY I'LL PET YOU
AND LET YOU CHOKE ME BUT GOOD ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ
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TUA XIONG LIKES UNICORNS
IT'S NOT A GIRL OR A FAG IS IT ????????????????????????????????

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""""""""""" FALLEN SUCKED
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EDDIE VAN HALEN STEVE PERRY SOME OTHER GUY THAT FUCKHEAD RINGO
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I EAT MY OWN FUCKING SHIT

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ARRAKIS ________ /`-._
DUNE \ |::::""--.._
DESERT PLANET \ /( )\ /::::::;;;;;\
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IT SUCKS !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HEY FAGGOTS DON'T GIVE IT TO
OTHER FAGGOTS OR BEAT UP NORMAL PEOPLE ON THE STREET AND GIVE IT TO
THEM !!!!!
WWW.HIVSTOPSWITHME.ORG
THANKS !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
%
THEY CALL ME MR. ANUSLESS
___
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_____ I'M MENSTRUATING
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I'M GOING TO GAY YOU UP BUT GOOD FOR FUCK'S SAKE PAL
FIRE YOUR AIDS MISSILES ELSEWHERE
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I'M A CLOUD WITH THE ARTIST'S SIGNATURE

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IS THAT MY CHIN OR MOUTH ?????

YOU WILL FIND OUT SOON ENOUGH
BECAUSE I SWALLOW EVERYTHING
AND I DO MEAN EVERYTHING

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__-' { | \ I'M A WOLF
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ARE YOU SURE THAT ISN'T SUPPOSED TO BE KEITH RICHARDS ???

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THIS PENIS ENLARGER HARDLY WORKS

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WHAT THE FUCK

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_____________________
/| /| | | |
||__|| | | I WANT TO USE |
/ O O\__ | YOUR DICK AS A |
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,---. `.)-. WELL IF YOU'RE NOT GOING TO LET
_,-(_ ' `./,-.) ME SUCK YOUR COCK I DON'T KNOW WHAT
,--'-. (_(_)' `. MORE WE HAVE TO SAY ON THIS SUBJECT
( ) \
|`-.,-' \ I REALLY AM RATHER SURPRISED AT YOUR
\ | \ PERSISTENCE I MEAN IT'S JUST A LITTLE
\ ^. | BLOWJOB
| \
\ | BE THAT AS IT MAY IT APPEARS THAT WE
\ \ WILL BE UNABLE TO CONDUCT A SUCCESSFUL
| | TRANSACTION CLIMAXING WITH THE EXCHANGE
| | OF FLUIDS
/ \
| |,. SO I'M AFRAID I MUST TURN MY BACK
| | /') ON YOU
| _/ \ ,-- | /)
(\ ( `` | .-(___ )__) -Shimrod
`-`-\((__)--///...---'
%
.--------------------------.
( COCKS! COCK! COCK! COCK! )
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I THOUGHT IT WAS SUPPOSED TO BE **QUACK**MAN
%
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OH RIGHT
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%
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.-"--"""".__ `. WOODY !!!!!!!!!!!
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( `._....------.._.: I'M GOING TO STEAL
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::: :::::::: :::::::: :::::::: ::::
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::::: :::::::::::: CUNT :::::::::::: :::::
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::::::: :::::::::::::::: :::::::::::::::: :::::::
::::::::::::::::::::::::: :::::::::::::::::::::::::
:::::::::::::::::::::::::: ::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
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:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
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%
'
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'`~@.~`-.-'~_..' ^._.-'~`-. `-'-_.-'.`
IF YOU SUCK MY COCK ..........

YOU MIGHT BE A REDNECK !!!!!!!
%
WILLIAM HAD A LOT OF TROUBLE RAISING HIS NEWBORN SON UNTIL ......
_______________
/FUCKING FINALLY\
O\_______________/
0 ____ ________ _________ ____
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/ \ \_/ \ \____/ |_______|/ |________/ \____/
| | 0 # |
| | 0 | WTS
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| ( " ) | o o | | LIKE
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| |\ | .-') | OF
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/* &&///() WW @@ |XX*VVOOOVV*XX||
| ** &&///() WW @@ |XX*VVOVV*XX| |
|8 ** &&///() WW @@ |XX*VVV*XX| 8|
|88 ** &&///() WW @@ |XX*V*XX| ~~|
| 88 ** &&///() WW @@ |XX*XX| 888|
|+ 88 ** &&///() WW @@ |XXX| ~~~~|
| + 88 ** &&/ WW @@ |X| 88888|
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++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
///////////////////////////////////////////////
\\\\\@@@@@\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\@@@@@\\\\\\
|||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
\\\\\\\\\\@@@@@\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\@@@@@\\\\\\\\\\\
///////////////////@@@@@@@@////////////////////
THIS IS OFFICIALLY THE SHITTIEST ASCII ART

EVER CREATED IN THE HISTORY OF HUMANKIND
%
.-'"""`-.
( )
|`-.___.-'|
|.-'"""`-.|
| |
|`-.___.-'|
| |
|. ' " ` .|
| |
`-.___.-'
PEACE IN
OUR TIME
%
_____
xxx oooo\/\ I LOVE THIS COUNTRY !!!!!!
xxxx oooo/ \_
/xxxx oooo\ | \ EXCEPT WHEN FAGS GET TO VOTE
/ xxxx oooo | \
| xxxx oooo | |
\ xxx oooo/ o /
| mmmmmmmmmmmm| | /
|\_/ \_/>/ __
\___/| ___ / /_/ /
| | | /
saffy |______|_____|\___/
%
DO I LOOK FAT IN THIS DRESS
NO SERIOUSLY I WANT YOUR HONEST OPINION
,-. _.---._
| `\.__.-'' `.
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(_.ooo.===================||======|=|=|| |
~~' | ~' `~' o o /
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`~' `-.____.-' EA
%
|
| DETECTING UNSUCKED DICKS AHEAD
| | AT HEADING ZERO ONE ZERO SIR
|-|-| |
| | ALL STOP ENSIGN
| {O} |
'--| | AYE AYE ANSWERING ALL STOP SIR
.|]_ |
_.-=.' | | ON THE 1MC ATTENTION CREW THIS
| | |]_ | IS YOUR CAPTAIN PREPARE TO FEAST
|_.-=' | __|__ ....................... OVER
_.-=' |\ /|\
| | |-'-'-'-'-.
|_.-=' '========='
` | |
`. | / \
|| / \____.--=''''==--.._
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____ ||__|____|____| \||__||__||_/ __________________/| |
| |______ |===.---. .---.========''''=-._ | | | / | |
| || |\| ||| | | | '===' || \|_____|_____|____/__|___|
|-.._||_____|_\___'---' '---'______....---===''======//=//////========|
|--------------\------------------/-----------------//-//////---------/
| \ / // ////// /
| \______________/ // ////// /
| _____===//=//////=========/
|==============================================================LGB/
'----------------------------------------------------------------`
%
_ _.,----,
__ _.-._ / '-. - ,._ \) WHAT CAN I SAY
| `-)_ '-. \ / < _ )/" }
/___ '-. \ '-, ___(c-(6)=(6) I NEVER KNEW HARRY POTTER
, '. -._ '. _,' >\ " ) WAS A WITCHY FLYING FAGGOT
:;;,,'-._ '---' ( ( "/`. -='/
;:;;:;;, \._ .`-.)Y'- '--' YO HO HO AND A BOTTLE OF (MUFFLED)
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| | CLEARLY THIS IS A SEXUALLY
| | INCORRECT JOKE
| | ____
| |-"~ ~"-. WOMEN CAN'T PLAY BASEBALL
| | \
| | \ DUH
|' | |
| | |
| |__..-------------._
| |~~---.._________..--~)
| | ( .\ /. )|.--~~
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WATCH OUT !!!!!!!!! I FLING POO
______
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I WISH I COULD SUCK MORE
COCK
I FIND THAT SUCKING COCK
/ GETS IN THE WAY OF MY
##### / .|||||. EATING DISORDER
#### _\_ |||||||||
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%
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xxxxx UUUUUUUUU UUUUUUUU
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SISKEL AND EBERT WOULD CALL THIS ATTEMPT

FEEBLE AND INDICATIVE OF SERIOUS SHORTCOMINGS
IN ARTISTIC INTEGRITY
WELL THAT FAT ONE WOULD ANYWAY THE SKINNY ONE

FINALLY SUCCUMBED TO AIDS
COME TO THINK OF IT I THINK THE FAT ONE HAS

AIDS TOO HE JUST EATS MORE
%
\ |\
\ | \ C. Coles
____| |__
\___ \|__\
\ \
| \
\ * \_
\ \ \ \ \
\ /\ \|\ _ \
________/ X ~~//_____
\_________/ \ //|_____\
* \/o/ *
* // *
~
* *
THERE'S DICK DOWN YONDER

%
DUDE THIS SHIT IS SERIOUSLY
TOUCHING FABRIC (COILY, AT-SIGNY)
/
// /
\\ // ,
\\// ,@@@@@@@@@@, ,@@@@@@@@, @@@
\ \ @@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@ @@@@@@@@,
\ \ (@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@ @@@@@<>@@@@
--__---\ \__\@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@_@@@@@@@@@@@@o
\@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@ @@@@@@@@@@@@
__----__ /@/@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@ -----__ U
\@\ @@@@@@@@----__-----_ @@@@@@@@
__---------__-)@)-@@@@@@_____---------___@@@@@@_----___-------
/@/ @@@@ @@@@@ @@@@@ @@@@@
/@/ @@@ @@@@ @@@@@ @@@@@ MS
(@( @@ @@ @@@@@ @@@@
\@\ @@ @@ @@@@ @@@
\/ @@@ @@@ @@@ @@@
@@@ @@@ @@@ @@@
''' ''' ''' '''
%
I JUST WANT TO KNOW WHY
YOU WON'T FUCK ME
MY THERAPIST SAID I
| SHOULD INTERNALIZE MORE
THEN HOW ABOUT I FUCK YOU |
| OKAY LHGGHLGAHLGHALGHALGAH
GAHLGAHLGAHLGAHLGAHLGAHLAG /
/
\
__ *
( <''\\\ \ \ * v ; *
* <___ \ W\___\ * : @ / *
** | (o (| * \oO -*
***/-----_____ ___- \_ *- oO *
/ -- _O * )) V ((
/ _^^^^Û
/ __/\ \ \ ___\ \
/ / \ \-------- \ \ \ \
\ \ \ \ \ \ \ \
ww ww ww ww DS
%
THIS NEW BONG DOESN'T WORK
FOR SHIT SO ... SMASHY SMASHY
_ SOMEONE NEEDS AN ANGER
| | \ MANAGEMENT COURSE
| |===( ) //////
|_| ||| | o o| /
||| ( c ) ____
||| \= / || \_
|||||| || |
|||||| ...||__/|-"
|||||| __|________|__
||| |______________|
||| || || || ||
||| || || || ||
------------------------|||-------------||-||------||-||-------
MS |__> || || || ||
%
*
|
,-----.
," ^ ^ ",
| @ @ |
----OOOO------/^\------OOOO----
| ( ) |
| ~~~ |
| |
| HAVE YOU EVER GIVEN HOBBIT |
| DICK A TRY ?????? |
| |
-------------------------------
/____/ \____\
ooooO Ooooo Leigh
%
,,;@@@@@@*. I'M TOTALLY SERIOUS
WWWWWQ;;;;;;; THIS COCKSUCKING MACHINE
(QWWWU;--;;--;' HERE WORKS REALLY WELL
(WWWW @ \@ ;; AND DOESN'T HURT AT ALL
(//^\ _\ }}]
\_S;;;____;;;
,;;\. . . /;
/dddd;YT;;;T1;;)))!
/d!!!;;llciii;;;;;;!
/d!!!/.;;;;;;;;;/;;d WELL IT DOES HURT
/d!!!/.;;;;;;;;;/;;d BUT ALL THINGS
/d!!!/.;;;;", "/.;d CONSIDERED IT'S WORTH
/d!!!/.;;;;;;; ;/;;d IT FOR A SERIOUS MACHINE
/d!!!/.!;;;;;;; /;;d! BLOWJOB DON'T YOU THINK
Cd!!!/ 1;;;;;;;/;;d!
\+++\ 1;;;;;;/1:}d!
\+++\ 1 1 /;;;d 1
\+++\@@@@@/;;;dWWW
###\+++\#+@/;;;dWWWW; FRESH AIR
_#####\+++\#/;;;dWWWWW! WITH TERRY GROSS
[ ]#####\+++***]dSSWWWW!
[ ]======llll[ ]SSSWWWW!.
[_]######@@@@[_]SSSMMMMMM.
############SSSSSMMMMMMM.
############MSSSSSMMMMMMm.
############N SSSSSMMMMMMm.
############! SSSSSMMMMMMm.
############ "SSSSMMMMMm:
############ "SSSSSMMMMm.
############ SSSSSSMMMMM
########## sSSSSSSMMMM"
########## SSSSSSSMMMM"
_ ########## _ SSSSSSSMMMM"
[ ]##########[ ]SSSSSSMMMM"
[ ]==========[ ]SSSSSMMMN
[_]##########[_]SSSSNNNN"
########## SSSSSNNNN" RR
.. ############ @@!!!!!!;;..._..
Q@@@ ########## @@##""VV@@@@@"@@O
%
10101010101.' .`.\._0 0 _.|._ 1 1_./.`. '.0101010101010101010
01010101. ' .' . .\._` ` _|_ ` `_./. . '. ' .0101010101010101
_1.1- ' . ' .' . .\._` ` | ` `_./. . '. ' . ` -0.0_010101010
`-._. - ` . ' .' . .\._` `|` `_./. . '. ' . ` - ._.-'01010101
`-._ ` . ' .' . .\._` | `_./. . '. ' . ` _.-' 010101010
`-._. ' .' . .\._`|`_./. . '. ' ._.-' 01010101
`-._ .' . .\._|_./. . '. _.-' 0101010
`-.____.\.|./.____.-' 010101
_/_/__\_\|/_/__\_\_ 1010
________________/.--##/#//-\\#\##--.\_______________________1
// \##{-(@)=(@)-}##/ \\ 0
|| _.-'.\-\VVV/-/.`-._ || 0101
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_.-'' -_ . -./.- | -.\.- .- _- `-._ 1010101
_.-', ' -_ . -./.- `|` -.\.- .- _- ` `-._ 10101010
_.-' . , ' -_ . -./.- ` | ` -.\.- .- _- ` , .`-._101010101
'0 - . , ' -_ . -./.- ` `|` ` -.\.- .- _- ` , . -1`10101010
010101010'0-_ . -./.- ` ` | ` ` -.\.- .- _-0`0101010101010101
1010101010101. -./.- ` ` -|- ` ` -.\.- .-10101010101010101010
01010101010101-./.-1`1`1-.|.-0`0`0-.\.-0101010101010101010101
10101010101010101010101010|1010101010101010101010101010101010 NS
EITHER IT'S A SPIDER OR A KLINGON VESSEL ............

WHICH DID YOU CHOOSE ??????
FUCKING DORKS
%
^^^
|^ôo
|^ \
| ( -/
| /
|^^^^^^^^^^^::::^^^^^^^^^^^|
|/////////////\\\\\\\\\\\\\|
|""o""""""(@@@@@@)""""o""""|
|"""""|"""<@@@@@@>"""|"""""|
|<<<|<|===<@@@@@@>===|>|>>>|
|~~~|=| <@@@@@@> |=|~~~|
|"|"| <@@@@> |"|"|
|<|=| <@@> |=|>|
|_| /"<>"\ |_|
/""""""\
/""""""""\ MS
^^^
|^ôo
|^ \
| ( -/
|^^^^^^ :::^^^^^^|
|/////////\\\\\\\\:
|"o"""(@@@@@)"""o"|
|"""|"<@@@@@>"""|"|
|<|<|=<@@@@@>=|<|<|
|~|=| <@@@> |=|~|
|"|"| /":"\ |"|"|
|<|=| /"""""\ |=|<|
|_| /"""""""\ |_|
PROJECT 2501 BEGAN WITH AN ATTEMPT TO CREATE A SELFLESS

OBEDIENT COCKSUCKING MACHINE
INSTEAD IT CREATED A RACE OF HOSTILE POINTY BIRD FISH THINGS

WHOSE ABILITY TO SUCK COCK WAS MEDIOCRE AT BEST
IF THIS DOESN'T SERVE AS A CAUTIONARY TALE IN THE DANGERS

OF GENETIC EXPERIMENTATION FRANKLY I DON'T KNOW WHAT WILL
WILL HUMANITY EVER LEARN ????????????????????????????

%
./==\
/~~~~~\V ./ / ||
(-_=====) ./ / ||
( -=====\ ./ ./ /| \
( ( )= ./ (./ / | \
) ) _/ ./ ./ / | |\
,__(__ ( ( ___/ ./ / | | \
( L:\\ -v-\ / @@@/@@@@ @@@\@@@
/ /\L:\\VV KK\/ (@@@/OO@@@@)@@@OO\@@@)
/ / |L:\\vKKxx) @/@@@@@@ @@@@@\@
<c < \LL:KKxxX/
\ \ \KKxxXX/
\ \ |=====/ IS THIS XENA THE WARRIOR
\ \ /mltggll\ PRINCESS ?????
) ) |mltgglll\
())) mmltgglll\ OR IS IT ONE OF HERCULES'
_\\___WWWWWWWWW) RUNNY SHITS ???????
<==\\==>MM#@#!!!|
\\ MM#@#!!:!/
\\ MM#@#!!!| YOU BE THE JUDGE
M\\ M#@#!!:\
MM\\ @#!!:!|
<<:\\ @#:::/
><<<:\/#||||
<>>>:@@#___\ DS
\/~oO/ )Ooo
%
&&&\ I NEVER LEARNED TO READ
&&&&&| SO HERE'S MY SIGNATURE
&&\ &&&&&;
&&&&| &&&&/ &&&\
&&&&&| &&&&| &&&&&|
\ / &&&&&&; &&&/ &&&&&&|
\ / &&&&&/ &&&&&&;
\/ &&&&; /&&\ &&&&&/
/\ `&&. /&&&&&| `&&&|
/ \ /&&&&&&&|
/ \ &&&&&&&&&; /&&&&\
&&&&&&&&&| /&&&&&&|
&&&&&&&&&&| &&&&&&&|
`&&&&&&&&&| &&&&&&&;
`&&&&&&&\ `&&&&&.
`&&&&&&;
`&&&&. JS
%
WHEN THE KIDS TOLD ME I HAD TO
WEAR A COSTUME I DIDN'T THINK
IT WOULD BE THIS DEBILITATING
. ____ /
_ _ _ ____ ' ____ _ _ " /@@^@\
"| | | | / \ | \ | \ \ \ ./ / ( o.o )
| |_| | / _ \ | - ) | - ) \ \/ / \_=__/
/ | _ | | _ | | ,--' | ,--' \ / " (~
| |,| | | | | | | | ' | | | | \
|_| |_| |_| |_| |_| |_| ^ |_| )
. . , . ' /
_______ _ _________ _ _ ______ ____
. | _____' / \ |___ ___| | | | | | ____' | \
| |___ / _ \ | | | |_| | | |____ | - )
| ___' | _ | | | | _ | | ____' | , ,'
, | | | | | | | | # | | | | | |____ | |\ \
|_| |_| |_| |_| |_| |_| |______' |_| \_\
. " / < >
___ _ _ ! _ ((
| \ / \ \ \ / / \\ %
& | \ ; / _ \ \ \/ / ))
| | ) | _ | \ / #
| / | | | | | | MS
; |____/ |_| |_| |_|
@ $ ^ *
! #
%
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
.' `..' `..' `..' `.. ..' `..' `..' `..' `.
| `---..---' |
`. . , .'
`-----------------.`,/' .----------------------'
.`.` ' email@me.now
.-----------------(o(o)-..
.' ~ ~ `,
| _ _ ____ |
| (_) (_) / _..-- .'
| /-~~ `, |
`. .' `. |
`-------' ; |
I TAKE IT UP THE ASS FOR QUARTERS

%
. .
|\_|\
| a_a\
| | "]
____| '-\___
/.----.___.-'\
// _ \
// .-. (~v~) /|
|'| /\: .-- / \
// |-/ \_/____/\/~|
|/ \ | []_|_|_] \ |
| \ | \ |___ _\ ]_}
| | '-' / '.' |
| | / /|: |
| | | / |: /\
| | / / | / \
| | | / / | \
\ | |/\/ |/|/\ \
\|\ |\| | | / /\/\__\
\ \| | / | |__
snd / | |____)
|_/
LUKE
I AM YOUR FATHER
%
_
| | I WOULD LIKE TO COME DOWN
_| | OFF OF THIS ACID TRIP NOW
_/ . |
_/ | PLEASE
_ |_ _____|
| | _|*****| LADY DON'T FUCKING WALK
| | |*' ****| AWAY FROM ME WHEN I'M
_| | _| `**| TALKING TO YOU
_| | | `|
| | _| |
| | | |
| |_| | JS
\ |_
\___________________|
%
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CHECK OUT MY ASCII ART !!!!! IT'S A BULL'S-EYE OR AN EYE

WITHOUT A LID OR SOMETHING !!!! HRHRHRRRRRRR HOLY JESUS
HEART ATTACK OH MY GOD HUHHHHH PANTING FOR BREATH HUHHHHHH
BEFORE I EXPIRE I SUDDENLY REALIZE I SHOULD HAVE DONE

SOMETHING BETTER WITH MY LIFE THAN THIS
%
_
__( \ HI HONEY YOU'RE HOME !!!!!!
--( ) I NEED $400 FOR AN ABORTION
/~( (/)/)/ )
| ( ) ^ ^|)
|/ / <o)(o))
/ / \ _' /
( | |\___/
/\ \ | |
/ \ -- v ---
\ |oooo oooo|\
/V V \ o / | __
V V V \ /| | / _\
XXXXXXX | |/ / ^
/ | / / \
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/ \ /_____\
/ \( + )
/ \-------(
/ \_______)
VVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVV
( )( )
| || |
| || |
( )( )
| || |
| || |
| || |
^^^^^^ DS
|_||_|___
(____>___>
%
__________
| |
|________|
| |
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.-' .'.--. '. '-.
/ ' /~`') ' \
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|| / | | | \ |/ / ||
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| |
| . _ _ _ _ __|_ _ _| |
| || | ||_)(_)| | (/_(_| |
| | |
| | ML
\__________________________/
ONLY THE COOLEST CATS DRINK THEIR VODKA

OUT OF A FUCKING JUG
%
,.-----__
,:::://///,:::-.
/:''/////// ``:::`;/|/
/' |||||| :://'`\
.' , |||||| `/( e \
-===~__-'\__X_`````\_____/~`-._ `.
~~ ~~ `~-' Seal
DON'T TELL JOAN BUT I GIVE BETTER BLOWJOBS

%
___\|/__ KILL ME COOK ME AND FEED ME TO OTHER
/ \ POOR PEOPLE AND MY LIFE WILL MEAN
/ / \ \ SOMETHING
(| O o |)
| C | ___/
\ ____ /
______\_'____'_/______
/| | _ | |\
/ | | [_] | | \
/ | | | |\ \
/ /| | | | \ \
/ / | | | | \ \
/__/ | | | | \__\
| | | | | | | |
```` |'_/-|'__/\__/\_/\_|_|_| ''''
| _ /\ |
| [_] / \ |
| / \ | MS
____|_ / \ _|___
| | / \ | |
:======:---' ---:=====:
%
THAT STOCK LOOKS A LITTLE BIG !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
YOU FUCKING TRAITOR !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
GO BACK TO RUSSIA !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
P.S. DO YOU LIKE HOW EVERYTHING LINES UP !!!!!!!!
______
|\_______________ (_____\\______________
HH======#H###############H#######################
' ~""""""""""""""`##(_))#H\"""""Y########
)) \#H\ `"Y###
dew " }#H)
%
__________
/M\\\M|||M//.
/MMM\\\|||///M:.
/MMMMM\\ | //MMMM:. ______________________ drsquare
(=========+======<]]]]::::::::::<|||_|||_|||_|||_|||_|||>=========-
\#MMMM// | \\MMMM:'
\#MM///|||\\\M:'
\M///M|||M\\' I'M A BACTERIOPHAGE
%
____________________________________
/ /|
/__________________________________ / |
| | /|
| O--------O |/ |
|__________________________________| |
| ______ ___ |
| XXXXXX dXXX |
| XX dXXXX |
| ____XX q/XXX |
| XXXXXX XXX |
| XX XXX |
| ____XX XXX |
| XXXXXX XXX |
| _ _ _ _ _ _ |
| | | |_ |/ /_| |_ |_| |_| |
| |_| |_ |\ | | |_| | / | |
| | | |
, |
| /
) |
,__________________________________,/Gr
THIRTY-ONE WHINEY USENET READERS

%
. |||||||
/ \
| o o |
| o |
| |___| |
\_______/
_____| |______
| |
| | | |
| | | | //
| | | | //
| |========| |======
\__/ \__/
| |
| || |
| || |
| || |
## || ## MJK
___|# || #|____
| # || # |
|______||_______|
|_|_|__||_|_|_|_|
IS THERE SOME REQUIREMENT

THAT ASCII ART COLLECTIONS
ABSOLUTELY MUST CONTAIN THE
MOST AMATEURISH PATHETIC
DRAWINGS EVER ????????
OH RIGHT IT JUST WORKS OUT

THAT WAY YOU TALENTLESS FUCKS
%
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(( cxOS.'.) _-- __)
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(( S | /" \_ | (.------_ /
((| | | /_ `"" \ ___,--'
| | | / _-- ______\ |/
YS | | / / --.___/
_| / _/ _/
//__/ //__/ AND I THOUGHT MY
`` `` HEMORRHOIDS WERE BAD
%
____ _ _ _ _ _
| _ \ | | ___ _ __ | | __ | | | | | |
| |_) | | | / _ \ | '_ \ | |/ / | | | | | |
| __/ | | | (_) | | | | | | < |_| |_| |_|
|_| |_| \___/ |_| |_| |_|\_\ (_) (_) (_)
I'M NEW TO USENET !!!!!!!!!!! BUT I'VE SEEN

OTHER PEOPLE SAY IT SO I'M GOING TO REPEAT
IT LIKE A USELESS TURD !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I PRESUME IT MEANS SOMETHING LIKE "WELL
PLAYED" BUT I'M NOT SURE
%
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V YY'`~'` ~~~ '` ~ YY V JJ
"" ""
DOES THIS RASH LOOK NORMAL TO YOU ?????????
HEY HEY MISTER MAN EASE UP ON THE GROPERY

I JUST WANTED A MEDICAL OPINION
%
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HOLY GOD LOOK AT THE AIDS DRIPPING OFF

THIS DAMN DICTIONARY
I'M CALLING THE CENTER FOR DISEASE CONTROL

RIGHT FUCKING NOW
%
I AM FROM AN ALTERNATE UNIVERSE WHERE
YOUR THREE-DIMENSIONAL LAWS DO NOT APPLY
... * . _ . FUCKING SHIT THIS

* . * # . * (_) * TREE CAN TALK
. ###* .. * ..
. # *#\###*# ___ . . * /
* ##\/# #|/#\#{o,o}#.# ____/
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THE ONLY GOOD POLYMORPHING CAT IS A DEAD POLYMORPHING CAT

%
NO I WILL NOT LET YOU FIST ME
\ _
\ //
\ //
/\_/\ //
(@.@ )_.-._//
ejm97 > O < .-. )
|/ |/
%
/\.
/\. _-_ /:_\/.
ejm98 /:_\/ /'. .'\ ___ /__:_\/ .
/(|`/ !)\ /:__/__:___\/./
| \ = / |/ / /\:___:__\/
` --- ./ / / /\
/--- -----\/ / / /
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.(_/^\|_|_|XXX|_|_|_'|_/
./|~|\ ~) ~)
/'/'/'|'.(_/^\ ~) ~) ~) .'(_/^\
./|~|\ ~) .'(_/^\'..'(_/^\'..'(_/^\' /|~|\
FUCK /'/'/'|''(_/^\' /|~|\ /|~|\ /|~|\ / / / |
/|~|\ / / / | / / / | / / / |
FUCK / / / | FUCK
FUCK FUCK FUCK
FUCK
%
. ..
. . .. .
. .. ... . MY FRIENDS CALL ME DOTTY
. .. .. .
. ...... . GET IT ????????????????
. ...... .
........ WELL FUCK YOU THEN
........
.... 0.. /
......... /
........ . ____/
. @...) ....
.. ....
... .......
........................
.......................
.......................
........................
........ ..... .....
....... ..... .....
... ... .... ....
... ... ... ...
... ...... ...
... .:.. ...
... ...:.. ...
... ... .. ..
.. .. gfj/ejm
%
I'M A FUCKING COCKLOCKER
___ /
/___\ /
@____ ____/
/|\__/
/ |
/ )|
/__/V
ejm 96 " V |
| |
m m
%
. ' ' ' . BUNNY TO EARTH
' ` THIS IS SPACE BUNNY TO EARTH
' \\ \\ `
' \\ \\ [] ` ATTENTION PEOPLE OF EARTH
' \\_\\ `
: \ ( @.@) [] : EITHER BRING BACK A DIFFERENT WORLD
: \== < == : OR I WILL BOIL YOUR PLANET TO
` / \_ ' VAPOR
` | _
` (")\ \ ' DO NOT TAKE MY THREAT LIGHTLY
ejm ` / ' FOR I AM IN A BUBBLE
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TOOT TOOT HONK BEEP BEEP HURRRRRRRRP
CHECK IT OUT PEOPLE IT'S THE GAY CIRCUS
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THIS MILKSHAKE TASTES LIKE
SOMEONE JIZZED IN IT MANG
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,---''. TAKE IT FROM ME
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.="""=._ I'LL NEVER TELL VINNIE JORDAN THAT
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(\!!/) I AM A HORRIBLE DISFIGURED FREAK OF NATURE
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LET ME TELL YOU BLITZEN I DON'T GET FUCKING
PAID ENOUGH TO SMELL YOUR ASS
CHOKE IT DOWN YOU /

GLOWING-NOSED FREAK /
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ME SAY JAR JAR BINKS

ME SAY EAT ALL THE DICKS
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@ `@@@' @ I'LL GIVE YOU THREE GUESSES
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: / \ : OH SWEET JESUS IT'S SUCKING ITSELF OFF
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__:_._| | . | WHAT IS IT THAT POKEY ALWAYS
/ \ | . . ; HAS TO SAY ABOUT THE
____/ \ |---...__ ITALIANS ????
| | "---...__|
| | : | | | ; THOSE WACKY SONS OF BITCHES
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I FIST MYSELF NIGHTLY WITH THIS
_____________________
_____.': :`._____
(_____: : THE PAIN STICK : :_____)
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I'M GOING TO FUCKING
CHOKE THE GAY OUT OF YOU
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.----------------. ACHTUNG ACHTUNG !!!
| |
| /||\ | NIE DRIBEN FASTEN UND SCHEISSEN OFTEN
| /_||_\ | MIT MEDAL OF HONOR ALLIED ASSAULT
| =m==========m= |
| / || \ | UNER TOTALEN DER GERMANEN SOLDAT EIN
| /____||____\ | COCKSUCKEN
| |
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YOU AND YOUR DRUNKEN INCOHERENT RAMBLINGS

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THEY CALL ME MR. TIBBS

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BONJOUR MADAME SI VOUS LICHEZ MON DICK
JE PROMETTRAI D'ETRE MOINS FRANCAIS EH EH
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WHAT PART OF "IF YOU LICK MY DICK I WILL
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''' ''' ''' ''' Melissa
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HEY I HAD A NICE LITTLE HAREM GOING
WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU MEAN
I HAVE TO START OVER ?????
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"-.___. ./____________________\
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L L________________________J J
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\ \______________________/ /
'sjw'._.'._.'._\ \____________________/ /'._.'._.'._.'
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"-._""--------""_.-"
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%
LOOK IT'S A FIELD OF POPPIES
_
/\) _
_ / / (/\
/\) ( Y) \ \
/ / "" (Y )
( Y) _ ""
"" (/\ _
\ \ /\)
(Y ) / /
"" ( Y)
"" Krogg
HEY WAIT A MINUTE WHY ARE

THESE POPPIES PISSING AND RAPING
%
___________
_.--^^^ ^^^--._
\`--...___________...--'/
/ \_ _ I CAN'T GET ENOUGH GAY
/ (_`,_' ) DICK DOWN MY THROAT FAST
/ ) `\ ENOUGH I'LL TELL YOU WHAT
/_____ _ / '. | /
| ^^^^-----------^^^^ | `,
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%
. .
/ `. .' \
.---. < > < > .---.
I'LL SUCK YOUR | \ \ - ~ ~ - / / |
GAY DICK FOR ~-..-~ ~-..-~
FREE MISTER \~~~\.' `./~~~/
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.' O \ / / \ \
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| / | / ~-. `-. _||_||_
|_____| |_____| ~ - . _ _ _ _ _>
WHY DINOSAURS BECAME EXTINCT

%
OKAY FOLKS AS PART OF THE REGULAR FARTS ROUNDTABLE WE'RE GOING
TO HAVE A DEBATE BETWEEN THE MERITS OF PERL AND PYTHON
TAKING THE SIDE OF PERL ADVOCACY IS JOHN Q. FUCKFACE (THE HOLLOW

HEART ON TOP) AND THE VIEWPOINT OF THE PYTHON COMMUNITY WILL BE
CHAMPIONED BY JOHNATHAN X. NUMBFUCK (THE BOTTOM SOLID HEART)
EACH PROPONENT WILL HAVE A TWO MINUTE INTRODUCTION FOLLOWED BY

A SERIES OF QUESTIONS SUBMITTED FROM A PANEL IN WHICH EACH WILL
BE ALLOWED FIVE MINUTES TO ANSWER THE QUESTION PLUS AN OPTIONAL
TWO MINUTE REBUTTAL IF THEY SO WISH AND QUESTIONING WILL ALTERNATE
BETWEEN EITHER ADVOCATE FINALLY THERE WILL BE A WRAPPING UP PHASE
FOR TEN MINUTES EACH
WE WILL NOW BEGIN WITH THE OPENING STATEMENTS
I'M A PEDOPHILE
.-"""-. .-"""-.
/ ' \ /
: ; /
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OH FOR CHRIST'S SAKE YOU GEEK TOOLS ARE FUCKING USELESS

%
. JUST BECAUSE I HATE MEN DOESN'T

. MEAN I'M A DYKE
.
. ,-,--. MURRRPRMMRPPH CREME COOKIES
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_________(__,_|)/ (__)|/____\(_______________ mic
%
:*`*-.
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\ \
\ \ ._ . WHERE'S MY FUCKING INSULIN MOTHERFUCKER
\ `._.--`)`._.':
`. , ; I'LL CUT YOU
bug ; ;+_ + '
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.-*"""*. I'M STRONG AND TOUGH !!!!!!
/ \ I LIFT WEIGHTS AND RAPE OTHER PRISONERS
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: ;-: :| LOOK !!!!!!!!!!
\ / \ ;| TITS !!!!!!!!!!
\ / \ / ;
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| ATTENTION
|.|
|.| THE GOVERNMENT HAS DECLARED A WAR ON DRUGS
|\./|
|\./| SOON IT WILL BE IMPOSSIBLE TO LOCATE ME
. |\./| .
\^.\ |\\.//| /.^/ SERIOUSLY FOLKS
\--.|\ |\\.//| /|.--/
\--.| \ |\\.//| / |.--/ THE UNITED STATES
\---.|\ |\./| /|.---/ GOVERNMENT IS ON THE
\--.|\ |\./| /|.--/ JOB AND MARIJUANA WILL
\ .\ |.| /. / BECOME EXTINCT ANY
_ -_^_^_^_- \ \\ // / -_^_^_^_- _ MINUTE NOW
- -/_/_/- ^ ^ | ^ ^ -\_\_\- -
%
.--._.-.
.' _, \ I SURE DIG THAT SONG BY ALICIA KEYS
.' .*" ;. \ THAT'S RIGHT !!! A WOMAN'S WORTH !!!
/ / .' \ \ YOU'D BETTER REMEMBER HOW WONDERFUL
/ / ;. \ I AM AND HOW MUCH YOU NEED ME !!!
. /s,__,ss,\ .
/ : :gg$""$gg$ , , BUY ME RINGS AND BAUBLES AND
; ;**' `**'| ; TRINKETS FOR NO OTHER REASON THAN
: : . :\ : I'M A SELFISH WHORE
| ; ; .gg. ; .
; : $b. `**' .' : | THAT'S RIGHT YOU'D BETTER EARN
_: \ $P `.__.'$ ; : MY LOVE !!!!!
/ \ : : : .' .'
/`-. \ \ \ .d / .'-._
/ `.-`._.+' `-.' `+.
: : \ / `. / : NO SEX FOR A MONTH BECAUSE
."\ ; `-, .-' -.;: ; I'M A COLD FRIGID BITCH
\ , l/ :bggd; Tb ,d$
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| ::+.-;-' | | | P.S. MY ARM IS
| ::::Y | ; ; SERIOUSLY BROKEN IN
| ':::| | / : THREE PLACES
| *:| | : |
: | ; | ; : MORPHINE PLZ
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.' .' .-..' .+'`+.
/ ' .'.-.;.'( .' L TELL ME YOU LOVE ME
.-' /.'.' .+"TP"+.,*'_:
.' .'/ / / \.'.'; IF I STARE YOU DEAD IN
: .-' : : /, ./ : THE EYES WHILE I'M GIVING
; / ; ;:`; ._ _. : _; YOU HEAD WOULD YOU PAY
/` : : ; |'._`. '_.`|.' FOR MY ABORTION AND MY
. ; ; : : `"' `"' ; _: BREAST ENLARGEMENT SURGERY
`._.': : | :-*` , '*"| (IN THAT ORDER) ???????
`--*;:.; : ; ' /\ .++. /*. ;
\`-.L.' /_.' /`. "" .') ;.
:. / '`+.__.-'*- .'_.'`**'`._./ FANTABULOUS !!!! BHLBHLBGHLBHL
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/_ \_.--"""--._/ _\
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| (o)___(o) | WHO DID LET THE DOGS OUT
| \_/ |
\ | / IN THE HERE AND NOW
\ <Y> /
\_ _ _/ URINE: IT BOTH STINGS AND STAINS
___)==( )==(___
/' //\ `\ DO US ALL A FAVOR
/ // \\ \
/ | |/ \| | \ DRINK A BOTTLE AND DRIVE FAST
/,_ /| |\ _,\
((_// | | \\_)) RUN A STOP SIGN
`-' | | `-'
| | GO NUTS
| |
| _ | YOU DESERVE IT
/ / \ \
jgs / / \ \ IT'S MILLER TIME
/ / \ \
_/ / \ \_ FUCKING DISGUSTING FAGGOTS
( _____ / \ _____ )
'-----' `-----'
%
. `:
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.-'.. .. `.
: .-. .--.`. : JUST A REMINDER FOLKS:
: : : : : :
: :`;; :`; ; : IF YOU HAVE PURCHASED
`.Ò;' Ò;.' : PRODUCTS WITH WARNER
.' .---. .--. ; BROS' CHARACTER "TWEETY"
. : '._ :' ; ON THEM, YOU SHOULD KNOW
:: : .-`-.; . .' THAT YOU ARE A SUB-HUMAN
.': `. ``` `. :-' RETARD AND KILLING YOURSELF
: : `-.__ ._ _.' IMMEDIATELY IS THE ONLY
: ; : ;``` RESPONSIBLE COURSE OF
: `. _.-.' . ``-._ ACTION
: `.-' : : `-.
: _.: ` `-._ `, THIS ESPECIALLY GOES FOR
`._.-' ; `.`-. ;_, _., FAT STUPID HOUSEWIVES THAT
: `.: ;' ;-' ; FEED THEIR KIDS TACO BELL
: ``.___.' : AND DON'T BOTHER TO LICK
: ;_..--' THE HUSBAND'S DICK ANYMORE
`. ; BECAUSE WHY BOTHER SO WHAT
`-.__ ...' IF HE REALLY, REALLY LIKES
: : : IT YOU GOT YOUR KIDS AND
jgs :-:__; YOUR HOUSE AND YOUR WORRY
: : : FREE EXISTENCE GUARANTEED SO
.-~~~--..__: : :___..---.. WHY BLOW ANYTHING EVER AGAIN
.'.' : /
:,' : `; STUPID WHORE I'LL CUT YOU
`: _.'`._ : I MEAN IT
`~~~'----'' `'-.____....' PUT DOWN THAT PHONE BITCH
%
RED BULL IT GIVES YOU WINGS FUCKING FAGGOTS
/ / \
\\\|||/// \\\|||/// \\\|||///

. ======= . ======= . =======
/ \| O O | / \| O O | / \| O O |
\ / \v_'/ \ / \v_'/ \ / \v_'/
# _| |_ # _| |_ # _| |_
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%
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DOES ANYONE ; ;`-.____.+*' | .' . | `-.
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%
_.---**""**-. LOOK BUB I'M THE DEVIL HERE
._ .-' /|`.
\`.' / | `. NO I WILL NOT DO TRICKS TO
V ( ; \ ENTERTAIN YOU
L _.- -. `' \
/ `-. _.' \ ; HELLO ?!?!? LORD OF DARKNESS HERE
: __ ; _ |
:`-.___.+-*"': ` ; .' `. | I DON'T APPRECIATE THE ASSUMPTION
|`-/ `--*' / / /`.\| THAT I'M ALL ABOUT THE SPECIAL
: : \ :`.| ; EFFECTS AND THE GIMMICKS
| | . ;/ .' ' /
: : / ` :__.' OH FUCKING ALL RIGHT I'LL DO ONE
\`._.-' / | FOR YOU JUST TO PROVE I'M SATAN
: ) : ;
:----.._ | /
: .-. `. / POOF !!!!!!!! YOU'RE SUCKING MY DICK
\ `._ /
/`- / HOW'S THAT YOU FUCKING WHORE
: .'
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%
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I'M A BUNNY !!!!!!!1111!!

FUCK MY TITS AND CREAM ON
MY ASS
%
"DUDE YOU'RE GETTING A DELL" SAID THE
HOMOSEXUAL AND THEN THEY MADE OUT (KISSED)
,-~~-.___. /
/ | ' \
( ) 0
\_/-, ,----'
==== //
/ \-'~; /~~~(O)
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=( _____| (_________|
PH
%
YOU CAN REALLY TELL I'M JEWISH IN THESE SPACE-AGE TIGHTS
: :
: :
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: IBMMMMWWWWMMMMMBXXVVYYIi=;:, :
: tBBMMMWWWMMMMMMBXXXVYIti;;;:,, :
t YXIXBMMWMMBMBBRXVIi+==;::;:::: ,
;t IVYt+=+iIIVMBYi=:,,,=i+=;:::::, ;;
YX=YVIt+=,,:=VWBt;::::=,,:::;;;:;: ;;;
VMiXRttItIVRBBWRi:.tXXVVYItiIi==;: ;;;;
=XIBWMMMBBBMRMBXi;,tXXRRXXXVYYt+;;: ;;;;;
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tRRXXVYti++==;;;=iYt;:::::,;;
IXRRXVVVVYYItiitIIi=:::;,::;
tVXRRRBBRXVYYYIti;::::,::::
YVYVYYYYYItti+=:,,,,,:::::;
YRVI+==;;;;;:,,,,,,,:::::::
%
.-"-.
.-" "-.
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/ / |
.-"-. / / | .-"-.
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"-|-" \ | | "-\.-"
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bug "-|-"
HOLY GOD AS IT SPINS THERE ARE N'S UPON N'S !!!!!!

AN INFINITE PROGRESSION OF THE LETTER N THAT SPINS
AND SPINS AND NEVER STOPS
IF THIS ISN'T A TESTAMENT TO THE JOY AND BEAUTY OF

OUR FOURTEENTH LETTER I DON'T KNOW WHAT IS
OH WELL BACK TO BONGHITS
REMEMBER 9/11 !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11

%
/"*-.
/ `-.
/ `-.
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`"*-._ `-.
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`TP `-. `-. : T$
.' `. `. `. ; ;
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; \ / _ : MAN WHENEVER I SPEEDBALL I ALWAYS
/`--'\ .' $o$ | END UP IN SOMEONE ELSE'S BED IN A
/ / `./-, `"' _ : HARNESS WITH AN ACHY ASS AND A PUDDLE
'-' : ; _ ' $o$ ; OF MY OWN VOMIT NEARBY
;Y" |"-. `"' /
| `. L.' .-. /`*. MAYBE I HAVE A PROBLEM
: `-. ; :' \
; :`*-._L.-'`-. :
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$$$$$$$$' 'T$$$b. .d$$$P' '$$$$$$$$
'T$P$$$' 'T$$$v$$$P' '$$$T$P'
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T$$d$$$P' 'T$$$b$$P
T$$$P' 'T$$$P
'T$$b._ _.d$$P'
"T$$$bsd$$$P"
"*****" bug
WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS ???

SOME KIND OF NEO-NAZI SWASTIKA ?????
YOU GODDAMN POLES NEVER LEARN FROM HISTORY
%
_.---------._
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HAIL ERIS !!!! ALL HAIL DISCORDIA !!!1!!!!@!!

THAT IS SECRET CODE FOR "LET ME INTO YOUR
PEDOPHILE CLUB BECAUSE I'M A FAT USELESS
COCKSUCKER WHO THINKS HE'S A COMEDIAN"
%
___
___________mm__(O O)__mm_________
"" U ""
_ ___ _
| |/ (_) |_ __ ___ _ _
| ' /| | | '__/ _ \| | | |
| . \| | | | | (_) | |_| |
|_|\_\_|_|_| \___/ \__, |
_ |___/ _
___ _ _ ___| | _____ __| |
/ __| | | |/ __| |/ / _ \/ _` |
\__ \ |_| | (__| < __/ (_| |
|___/\__,_|\___|_|\_\___|\__,_|
_
___ ___ ___| | __
/ __/ _ \ / __| |/ /
| (_| (_) | (__| <
\___\___/ \___|_|\_\
%
IN THE END IT WAS AGREED THAT CHRISTOPHER
COLUMBUS WOULD TAKE CREDIT FOR DISCOVERING
THE AMERICAS AND KEVIN COSTNER WOULD GET TO
MAKE A MOVIE THAT TOOK PLACE ENTIRELY ON WATER
| | |
)_) )_) )_)
)___))___))___)\
)____)____)_____)\\
_____|____|____|____\\\__
---------\ /---------
^^^^^ ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
^^^^ ^^^^ ^^^ ^^
^^^^ ^^^
%
____
.-'& '-. THE LEAD SINGER FROM STONE TEMPLE PILOTS
/ \ BEATS HIS WIFE AND JOKES ABOUT IT IN CONCERT
: o o ; /
( (_ )
: ;
\ __ /
`-._____.-'
/`"""`\
/ , \
/|/\/\/\ _\
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|_______|
__)_ |_ (__
jgs (_____|_____)
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4$$$$$$% Gilo94'
STILL LIFE OF COCONUT AND SWOLLEN BONER

%
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THIS SEXUAL POSITION REALLY PUTS A SEVERE STRAIN

ON MY NECK BACK CHEST HEAD AND ASS
%
.qgp. IT'S TIMES LIKE THIS WHEN I
.dOSOSOSp,_ WISHED MY DICK WAS NORMAL
dSSSSSSOSOSSg. SIZED AND IN THE RIGHT
,-. dS$S$S$S$SP' `Sb PLACE
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MY FRIEND WHO SMOKES A LOT OF POT SWEARS BY
PEPPERIDGE FARM PRODUCTS BUT I PREFER THE MORE
MAINSTREAM TASTES OF NABISCO BRAND FOODSNACKS
_.'^^'.
_ _.-' ((@)) '. ./\/\/\/\/\/\,.---.__
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%
I FUCKED MY MOMMY AND NOW THIS OH LORD WHEN DOES IT END
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%
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PLEASE DON'T SKULLFUCK ME

%
__
~%( o`=-
\ \ I'M A CARD-CARRYING MEMBER
/ / OF THE AXIS OF EVIL
__/~~\__
( / ~~ \ )
| | | |
\| |/
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~`/%%%%\`~
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LITERAL TRANSLATION: NO SHIRT NO SHOES NO COCKSUCKING
%
|\
| |
| |
| |
| |
)))))))) | | I'M NOT LIKE ALL THE
(((( \ | | OTHER BOYS
\\\.=<#-<# | |
\C 7 | | IN THAT I CAN'T MASTURBATE
, \ -) | | TO CLIMAX WITHOUT WRAPPING
\\__ __.) (.__ | | MY HEAD WITH A PLASTIC GLAD
\\\\ _ /' `\ | | BAG (IT HAS TO BE GLAD BRAND)
\_ '/ / , . \ | |
\ \ / /| ' ' |\ \ | | THIS ISN'T REALLY THAT WEIRD
\ \/ / | | \ \ | | AS IT TURNS OUT THERE'S LOTS
\ /' | | `\ \| | OF WEBSITES DEVOTED TO THE
`' | | \ | | PRACTICE
| . | \| |
>-------< | |\ PEOPLE AROUND THE WORLD CALL
[~~~~~~~~~] | | ) IT AUTOEROTIC ASPHYXIATION,
[ L ] | \/ HUFFING OR JUST PLAIN JACKIN'
[ | ] | | OFF (WITH A TRUSTY GLAD-BRAND
[____|____] | | BAG THAT DOES NOT BREAK)
| / \ | | |
() () | | CHRIST I'M GETTING AN
|| || | |-._ UPPERCASE L JUST THINKING
|| || | |_ `. ABOUT THE PROSPECT
jgs )( )( | | `-.;
/==\ /==\ | | ` ANYWAY I CALL IT THE OLD
ooooO} {Ooooo | | SHAKE-N-BAKE HERE AT HOME
~^^^~ ~^^^~ |/
%
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I WAS TOUGH ON YOU BUT YOU UNDERSTAND NOW

IT'S ALL GONE TAKE CARE OF EACH OTHER
CAN'T AFFORD TO BE CRYING NOW DON'T EVER CRY FOR ME AGAIN
DAD I LOVE YOU
I KNOW AVENGE ME
WOLVERINES !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
%
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%
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\___ (o) (o } I'M A LINUX CHICK
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%
._
,-'_ `-. CHECK OUT THIS VIBRATING
::".^-. `. CHAINSAW SLASH DILDO
||< >. \
|: _, _| \ \
: .'| '| ;\`. OH WAIT IT'S A LIGHT
_\ .` ' | \ \ SABER AND THIS IS
.' `\ *-' ; . \ THE WORST FUCKING
'\ `. `. /\ . \ MOVIE EVER
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\------------- '
%
__ __
/ '. .' \
| |`\ \,,,/ /`| | JIM HENSON WAS A HERO
\.;;;;;-;;;;;./ TO MOST BUT HE NEVER
.;;;;-'"'"'-;;;;, MEANT SHIT TO ME
;;.-(((( ))))-.;;
,;;/ =/_o/___\o_\= \;;, IF I WERE A REAL PIG
,;;;/ .-' '-. \;;;, I WOULD BE LYING AROUND
,;;;;/ / \ \;;;;, IN MY OWN FILTH RIGHT
,;;;;| \ \ / / |;;;;, ABOUT NOW
;;;;;\ /-`.__.__.`-\ /;;;;;
;;;;;\ ` \.-./ ` /;;;;; AS IT TURNS OUT I'M A
;;;;;;-._ , '-' , _.-;;;;;; MUPPET SO INSTEAD I'M
';;;;/()`'-'-=-'-'`()\;;;;' IN A DUSTY BOX SOMEWHERE
jgs `/`\ '()()()()()() /`\`
%
K \
IS\Fr\
SKISS\om\
KISSKIS \Me\ MY MOM MADE ME PUT
SKISSKISS A CLOTHESPIN ON MY
sKISSKISSKISs THINGY WHEN SHE CAUGHT
sSKISSKISSKISSKIs ME PLAYING WITH IT
sSKISSKISSKISSKISSKISs
SKISSKISSKISSKISSKISSKIS ALSO A RUBBER BAND
SKISSKISSKISSKISSKISSKIS
SKISSKISSKISSKISSKISSK IS THIS THING ON HELLO
%
dS$$S$S$S$S$S$S$$Sb
:$$S^S$S$S$S$S$S^S$$; CERTAINLY MY GOOGLY EYES
SSP `^$S$S$^' TSS WILL HYPNOTIZE YOU AND
$$ `"' $$ TRICK YOU INTO WRITING ME
_SS ,- - SS_ CHEQUES AND/OR SUCKING
:-.| _ - .- _ |.-; MY PATHETIC WANGLET
:\(; ' "-._.'._.-" ` |)/;
\`| , o o . |'/ HERE GOES !!!! ZWOOOOM
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MOOMMMMOMMOMMOOMMMOObTSSg._.SSS._.PdOPdMOOMMMMOMMMMOMMMMOOM
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%
K \
IS\Fr\
SKISS\om\
KISSKIS \Me\ MY UNCLE MADE ME DRINK FROM
SKISSKISS THE TOILET BECAUSE I WOULDN'T
sKISSKISSKISs SUCK HIS OLD GAY COCK
sSKISSKISSKISSKIs
sSKISSKISSKISSKISSKISs WAIT WAIT LET'S START OVER
SKISSKISSKISSKISSKISSKIS YOU HAVE TO PRESS BOTH PLAY
SKISSKISSKISSKISSKISSKIS AND RECORD AT THE SAME TIME
SKISSKISSKISSKISSKISSK AS IT TURNS OUT
%
,
_cc,
'.())(((c JESUS CHRIST I'VE REALLY
(((((()(c LET MYSELF GO
'(((('_ _'
`((( \
(`\ - MAYBE I SHOULD STOP
' ) ( __ GUZZLING DOWN BEERS
_.-' ' `. AND COCKS AND COCKS AND
/ , -' \ BEERS
L ` .
\ / ` |
`c ) c ) J
.\__. `---': | WHO'S UP FOR SCRABBLE
\__ \, | L
/`\\\> L |
/ / J
L c ' / ALSO WHERE THE FUCK ARE
\ / /\ MY CLOTHES
\-.__.' .' .
|`-___.'
a:f : `8P /
: .' /
` / .'
/ .'
. .'
L '
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%
SLOWLY THE SUN SET INTO THE WEST AS
MY ERECTION FADED. THE TRANSVESTITE
PROSTITUTE TO THE RIGHT OF ME, WHOSE
NAME WAS PROBABLY KITTY, MANAGED TO
LOOK FORLORN IN THAT SHOPWORN WHORE
SEMI-SWAGGER STARRING BOREDOM AND
TOO MUCH TIME SPENT IN THE SUN: "IS THAT
ALL HONEY THAT WAS GREAT BUT I HAVE A
FOUR O'CLOCK?" THE HOOKER ON MY LEFT
CONTINUED TO WORK MY NOW-WANKY BONER AND
BALLS LIKE AN OLD PRO. I DIDN'T KNOW HER
NAME BUT SHE SURE WAS A TROOPER
^^ @@@@@@@@@
^^ ^^ @@@@@@@@@@@@@@@
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@ ^^
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@
~~~~ ~~ ~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~ ~~ &&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&& ~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~
~ ~~ ~ ~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~ ~~ ~~ ~
~ ~~ ~~ ~~ ~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~ ~ ~~~ ~ ~~~ ~ ~~
~ ~~ ~ ~ ~~~~~~ ~~ ~~~ ~~ ~ ~~ ~~ ~
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~~ ~~~~~~ ~ ~~ ~ ~~
~ ~ ~ ~ ~~ ~ ~
%
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,8' d88888888888,88P"' a, `8, I'M
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d' I88888888888P" `b AFRAID
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8 Y 8[ _ " 8 OF
8 "Y8d8b "Y a 8
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`8, ,d8888888baaa ,8' FUTURE
`8, 888888888888' ,8'
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%
AS IT TURNS OUT THE STALL OF AN ADULT BOOKSTORE
\/)/) IS NO PLACE FOR AN IMPRESSIONABLE YOUNG SEAHORSE
_' oo(_.-. /
/'. .---'
/'-./ (
) ; __\
\_.'\ : __|
) _/
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mrf'-.-'
%
K \
IS\Fr\
SKISS\om\
KISSKIS \Me\ ONE TIME AT CAMP THE OTHER
SKISSKISS BOYS ASSAULTED ME SEXUALLY
sKISSKISSKISs IN THE SHOWER, THE BOATHOUSE
sSKISSKISSKISSKIs AND LATER IN THE OUTHOUSE
sSKISSKISSKISSKISSKISs
SKISSKISSKISSKISSKISSKIS SO SERIOUSLY I WOULD LIKE
SKISSKISSKISSKISSKISSKIS WINONA RYDER OR WINONA JUDD
SKISSKISSKISSKISSKISSK TO PLAY THE PART OF ME
%
__.......__
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'-._ _,-'
'`--......---'
I AM A CIRCLE
THE SEXIST OF ALL THE MOTHERFUCKING GEOMETRICAL FIGURES

THAT'S RIGHT BITCH GAZE UPON ME AND DESPAIR
OH CHRIST I DON'T HAVE ANY APPENDAGES TO TURN LIGHTSWITCHES

ON AND OFF OR GET MYSELF A SANDWICH
HURRRRRRRRRRRRR EXTINCT
%
__.
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I'M A GODDAMN DOG

%
|||||||
/ \
| o o | DON'T GO STICKING DICKS INTO TOASTERS
| o | EVEN ON THE LIGHTEST BROWN SETTING
| |___| | /
\_______/
_____| |______
| |
| | | |
| | | | //
| | | | //
| |========| |======
\__/ \__/
| |
| || |
| || |
| || |
## || ##
___|# || #|____
| # || # |
|______||_______|
|_|_|__||_|_|_|_|
%
,xXXXXXXXXXx_
,XXXXXXXXXXXXXXx_
,XXf ~~~[XX] ~~~XX I FELL INTO A DITCH AND THESE
,XXX <@> [XX] <@>XXX, GODDAMN WORKERS WHO WERE HANGING
,XXXX_____[XX]_____XXXX, OUT CAME OVER TO SEE WHAT THE NOISE
XXXXXXXXXXX/~\XXXXXXXXXX WAS ABOUT AND THERE I WAS WITHOUT
XXXXXXXXXXX/ \XXXXXXXXX MY PANTS IN A STRANGE LAND AGAIN
XXXXXXXXXXX_____XXXXXXXXX AND I'M THINKING WELL I BETTER
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX GET SOME KIND OF FREQUENT FLYER
XXXXXX XXXXXXXXXXXXX XXXX MILEAGE OUT OF THIS EXPERIENCE
XXXXX \XXXXXXXXXXX/ XXX!
'XXXX_______________XXX THIS IS NO WAY TO TREAT AN AMERICAN
'XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX CITIZEN EVEN IF I AM A MASTURBATOR
'XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXf
'XXXXXXXXXXXXXX~
'~XXXXXXXX?~
%
I SUCK MORE " "
DICK ON ONE " o "
LEG THAN YOU " " "
DO WITH TWO ',' " "
\ '' " "
'' " "
'' " "
' " "
" " " "
" ' ((( "
" (((( "
" " ((((( "
""""" ""
! !
! !
! !
! !! !
! /\\
!
/\\
%
__.-.__.-.__
.'\ '-.__.-' /'.
/ | ,_ | \
/ | _/| \_ | \ WHO DREW A PAPER HAT ON
'-._/ \.-""-./ \_.-' MY MARILYN MANSON T-SHIRT ???
| ( ^ \^ ) | YOU TOTALLY WRECKED IT !!!
| \ == / | I'M GOING TO BE GAY UNTIL
| /'--'\ | YOU BUY ME A REPLACEMENT
jgs | | GOGGLE GOBBLE YOUR COCK DUH
'._ _.'
`""""`
%
,'";-------------------;"`.
THIS DISK HOLDS ;[]; ................. ;[];
PICTURES OF MY ; ; ................. ; ;
STUPID TINY PRICK ; ; ................. ; ;
; ; ................. ; ;
I AM SAD TO ; ; ................. ; ;
REPORT THAT THIS ; ; ................. ; ;
320K FLOPPY HOLDS ; ; ................. ; ;
EXACTLY 186,282 ; `. ,' ;
IMAGES ; """"""""""""""""" ;
; ,-------------.---. ;
I SHOULD TIE ; ; ;""; ; ; ;
WEIGHTS AROUND ; ; ; ; ; ; ;
MY DONG MAYBE HUH ; ; ; ; ; ; ;
;//||; ; ; ; ;||;
ALSO THEY'RE IN ;\\||; ;__; ; ;\/;
PNG FORMAT UNDER `. _; _ ; _; ;
THE C:\QUEER DIR " """"""""""" """"" """
UNDER THE SYSTEM FOLDER (NEAR THE UPPER PART OF
THE DESKTOP WHERE I KEEP A FOLDER FULL OF PORN)
%
FOR THIS PERFORMANCE TO HAVE A DEEP, LASTING EFFECT YOU SHOULD
PLAY A RECORDING OF CAT STEVENS' "ANOTHER SATURDAY NIGHT" DURING
YOUR VIEWING EXPERIENCE. THANK YOU FOR YOUR CONSIDERATION.
STEP 1. OBTAIN A PIG. THIS ONE WILL DO:
_____
^..^ \9
(oo)_____/
WW WW Pig
STEP 2. FIND A STURDY TOILET
_
| |
___| |
( .'
)__( Toilet
STEP 3. SHOVE THE PIG INTO THE TOILET HEAD-FIRST. HE WILL

NOT FIT. DO THE BEST YOU CAN. WE DO NOT HAVE A GRAPHIC FOR
STEP THREE SO WE PRESENT A MOUSE INSTEAD:
o..o
(\/)S Mouse
JUST IMAGINE THE PIG STUCK FACE-FIRST IN THE TOILET. THE

MOUSE IS OF NO MATTER.
STEP 4. FUCK THE PIG IN THE ASS. HIS SHARP TEETH, FIELD OF
VISION AND ABILITY TO FIGHT BACK WILL BE RESTRAINED *AS LONG
AS YOU HAVE STUFFED THE PIG PROPERLY INTO THE TOILET*. FUCK
THAT PIG. YEAH, FUCK IT. JESUS CHRIST THE PIG DOESN'T LIKE
THIS DEAL AT ALL AND THAT'S WHAT YOU GET OFF ON BABY. FUCK
THAT LITTLE PIG. MMMMMM YEAH FINISHING MMMM PIG IN TOILET MMM
STEP 5. EVENTUALLY THE PIG WILL DROWN, GET "FUCKED-OUT" AND

COLLAPSE IN ON ITSELF OR OTHERWISE CEASE TO CONTINUE
PERFORMING AS FUCKTOY. REPLACE WITH FRESH PIG. SEE STEP 1.
%
,sSS.SSs,
S `S' S
Ss S sS
,sSs, ` S ' ,sSs, YES YOU HEARD ME RIGHT: I'M RETARDED
S 'S, ,oSo, ,S' S AND I WORK AT SAFEWAY BAGGING YOUR
` 'S.oSSSSSSSo.S' ' GROCERIES AND I TOUCH YOUR FOOD AND
,sSSs.oSSSSSSSSSSSSSo.sSSs, FIVE MINUTES AGO I WAS PLAYING WITH
S' 'SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS' 'S DOGSHIT IN THE PARKING LOT
` SSS\,+~+,.,+~+,/SSS ' /
,S^S| 0 | 0 |S^S,
S',SS'+_+'~'+_+'SS,`S
S S' S| ' |S `S S
` ` `S\ ~ /S' ' '
S `---' S AL
` '
%
THE RAPE RAYS ARE _.O
MUTATING! OUR WEAPONS ,-O .-"
ARE POWERLESS! IT BURNS .-" .-" ..-O
OH HOW THEY BURN -" _..--""
.... _...._ ..--""
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-- "BBP BBBBBBBBBBBBBB "BBP --
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:====:
dBBBBBBBBB
BBBBBBBBBB
""""" ""
%
MY MOTHER-IN-LAW IS FOR SALE/LEASE
SERIOUSLY I'M A FAT FUCKING PONY
MARRY ME AND I'LL NOT FART SO MUCH
JESUS NO I'M A PLATYPUS (WHICH AS YOU
KNOW IS A SERIOUS CONDITION HERE
UNDER THE STANDS, THE BLEACHERS)
I I I I I I
I I I I I I
I I I I
I I @ ******************
I ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~\ *
I i I *
I i < I *
I i _________________/ *
< I i I ******************
I i I
I _H_ I
I I
I I I I I I I I I I I I
I I / I I
I I / I I
I I I I
I I I I
I I I I
I I \ I I
I I \ I I
\-/\-/ VVV \-/\-/
%
___ I EAT HUMANS
/o o\ /
| < |
\ O/
/ /
/~ ~\
\ |..||
\\::W
/\= |
/ / ||
|c| ||
| | ||
/// ///
%
_____ __ COME LICK DICK WITH US
_______ | \ /
_________ |MK\____________-====- --..._
'-----------------.._____...-'
%
ALL I NEED IS A BEEPER AND SO LONG LIFE AS A
STREETWALKER, HELLO NEW CAREER AS A CALL GIRL
/
_ ________
/ \_ / \
\ / / \
/_______// \
/________/| | ||||||||
/ | | |||||
/ | | ||||||||
/ \ \ / ||||||||
| \ \______/|||||
| | ||||||||||||
/ |_ |||||
/_ |||||
|||||| ks
%
WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME
I'M A CARROT
I CAN'T EVEN VOTE
SO FUCK YOU
DON'T THINK I GIVE A SHIT ABOUT THE MIDDLE EAST
JUST SORT ME AND PUT ME IN A PILE
\/'
\/'
_/'
(,;)
(,.)
(,/
|/
%
___________________ _-_ _ _-_ _
\__(==========/_=_/ ____.---'---`---.____ _|_|.---'---`---.|_|_
\_ \ \----._________.----/ \----._________.----/
\ \ / / `-_-' `. `]-[' ,'
__,--`.`-'..'-_ `.' _ `.'
/____ || | (_) |
`--.____,-' `___'
Q: IS THE RIGHT HAND IMAGE THE ASS END OF THE THING

OR THE NOT-FOR-FUCKING END? SIGNED, CONFUSED IN
CYBERSPACE.
A: DEAR CONFUSED, I CANNOT TELL. YOU SHOULD REVERT TO

STANDARD PROCEDURE: FUCK THE HOLE UNTIL THE HOLE
REVEALS INNER BEAUTY SUCH AS WHETHER IT IS AN ASS
OR A MOUTH. BE GOOD AT SCHOOL TODAY. LOVE, MOM.
%
,n888888n, HEY MIKE EISNER!!!
.8888888888b IF WALT DISNEY WAS
888888888888nd8P~''8g, STILL AROUND HE'D
88888888888888 _ `'~\. .n. STINK UP THE PLACE
`Y888888888888. / _ |~\\ (8"8b
,nnn.. 8888888b. | \ \m\|8888P MY COPYRIGHT EXPIRED
,d8888888888888888b. \8b|.\P~ ~P8~ YEARS AGO
888888888888888P~~_~ `8B_| |
~888888888~'8' d8. ~ _/ SIRS I'M ASKING YOU
~Y8888P' ~\ | |~|~b,__ __--~ TO DO THE RIGHT THING
--~~\ ,d8888888b.\`\_/ __/~ HERE AND NOW
\_ d88888888888b\_-~8888888bn.
\8888P "Y888888888888"888888bn. I THINK IF YOU
/~'\_"__) "d88888888P,-~~-~888 BREAK DOWN THE TERM
/ / ) ~\ ,888888/~' / / / 8' STEAMBOAT WILLY
( / / / |) ) / '"88(/ ~ / / | YOU KNOW WHAT I'M
( /_/ /~ \( _/ / TALKING ABOUT
(_(_ ( /~~\/ , O,/~\___/_/'
~~~ | \_ ( FUCK MY MOUSE ASS
)( \_|
__--~"mb ,g8888b. OH GROW UP YOU READ
_/ 8888b(.8P"~'~---__ USENET AND BEAT OFF
/ ~~~| / ,/~~~~--, `\ TO PANTIES AT K-MART
( ~\,_) (/ ~-_`\
\ -__---~._ \ ~\\ WHAT DO YOU MEAN K-MART
( )\\ )) CLOSED
`\ ) "-_ `|
\__ __/ ~-__ __--~ WHERE AM I GOING TO GET
~~"~ ~~~ BEAT-OFF PANTIES THEN
%
______
,'" "-._ SBM SEEKS GWM FOR CBT (NO HOMOS)
,' "-._ _._ /
; __,-'/ |
;| ,-' _,'"'._,.
|: _,' |\ `.
: \ _,-' | \ `.
\ \ ,-' | \ \
\ '. .-. | \
\ \ " | :
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`. _,-'
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%
HISS I'M A BI-CURIOUS SNAKE
___ ____________ ON A MISSION FROM GOD
<<<((__O\ (__<>___<>__ \ ____
\ \_(__<>___<>__)\O\_/O___>-< HISS I CAN SEE THE FUTURE
\O__<>___<>___<>)\___/
HISS YOUR DICK INFLATING MY
SNAKE BODY AT A RAPID RATE
%
HOW CAN LOOKING AT A BEAUTIFUL SCENE LIKE THIS MAKE
YOU THINK OF FAT DICKS POKING YOUR GAY OVERSTUFFED
FACE FOR LONG HOURS WITH LITTLE PAY ??? DISGUSTING
.
\ _ / .-='-. _db_ .--==-,
-= (_) =- (_ ( _IIII_ _( ) `.
/ \ ( |" " |-.( ` ,_ ` )
' '-._HHHHHH `)---' `'--' =.=
|. |--` =.=
| | =.=
_H___,=====;___| =.=
n_/____/____/``\__\
/__|:: :|. .|:::|::| =.=
_%&|__&%_"_|_"_|_ H|__|__
jgs`";;;;`";;;;'";;'"';;;;``;;-.
. ' `";;' `;;; `;' `; .`' `\
. ' . `' . `';. ' . . |^-`^~_^^~``-^^_~^^-`^~
%
,,, ,,,,
..ooo*"""**ooooo .oo*""*ooo..
. oo*" "*o.oo*" "*o.
. o" 'o" "o
o o *o
.o o 'o
o o o.
o o o
o \o/ o
o --0-- o
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"o o o
oo o oo
oo. oo oo
'ooo. .oo. ooo
"o ""oo,, ,,oO-'Oo, ,,,,,,..oo"o
o. """""" oo """"" .o
'o oo o'
*o oo o
'o o o
o o o
o o o
o o o
o o o
o o o
o o o
CLEARLY YOU HAVE FOUND MY CUNT BUTTON
%
CHECK OUT MY COOL BUNNY EAR PAJAMAS !!!
AND MY COOL FUNNY LOOKING HAIR AND MY
PORTLY STATURE !!!!!! NOT TO MENTION MY
MOUTH WHICH NEVER SHUTS !!!!!!!!!1111!!
AGGLE DAGGLE GURGLE HUHHHHHHHHHHHHH
|\ CHOP _,,,---,,_
/x`. .-'`' -. ;-;;,_
|x4- / _' \ ) )-,_..;\ ( `'-'
'---'' . , (_/--' `-'\_) tQn
FINALLY
NO MORE HEP KITTEN
%
HAVE YOU SEEN THE NEW WALL STREET JOURNAL IT'S JUST
AWFUL WE'RE TALKING ABOUT A NATIONAL INSTITUTION NOT
USA TODAY FOR CHRISTSAKE THERE ARE SOME DESIGNS, SOME
TRADITIONS THAT OH HEY YELLOW DOTS CHOMP CHOMP CHOMP DUH
================================================.
.-. .-. .--. |
| OO| | OO| / _.-' .-. .-. .-. .''. |
| | | | \ '-. '-' '-' '-' '..' |
'^^^' '^^^' '--' |
===============. .-. .================. .-. |
| | | | | '-' |
| | | | | |
| ':-:' | | .-. |
l42 | '-' | | '-' |
===============' '================' |
%
.'.'
.'-'.
. ( o O)
\_ ` _, _
-.___'.) ( ,-'
'-.O.'-..-.. mc
./\/\/ | \_.-._
;
._/
I SWEAR TO GOD OFFICER

SHE TOLD ME SHE WAS 19
%
.--. HOWDY PARTNER
________
|Oo| DON'T BE FOOLED BY COWBOY CRAIG'S POINTING
|()| GESTURE THERE HE'S JUST DISTRACTING YOU WHILE
| -} HE FONDLES HIMSELF WITH THE OTHER HAND
.----\""/----.
| \/ | CHECK IT OUT COWBOY CRAIG JUST CAN'T HELP
| | . | | HIMSELF HE'S SO HOT HUHHHHHHHHH
| | . | |____/__
\ \ . (_____/_= MMMMMMM CRAIG'S NOT A REAL COWBOY HOOOOOO
\ \ \ GETTING GAY RRRRRRRRRRRR DON'T TELL CRAIG
\/\=[]===) WE KNOW HUHHHHHHHHHHHHHH BEING GAY HUHHH
(""\ | MMMMMMMMMM CRAIG MMMMMMMMMM FONDLING MMM
| |_/ | DUH WHY ARE YOU STILL WATCHING CHANGE THE
| | | CHANNEL BUHHHHH DISGUSTING FAGGOT BUHHH
%
BE GAY WITH ME NEVER
(, / \ ,)
/|__--__ __--_|\
|\' _ _ `/|
.' / `.,_ _________ _________ _,.' \ `.
/ ||``._.' `._.''|| \
.' /| |\ `.
.' /\ \ / /\ `.
` `,/ / ,\ /, \ \,' '
.'.' /| |\ `.`.
.' / / | | \ \ `,
- `- -- `-'- -ejm-----------------------VK-- -`-' -- -' -
%
TEACH ME WHAT IT MEANS TO BE A MAN
,
, . ( ) -.\ |
| / .- |\ /| _ \'/
\'/ | \.-""-./ | \_) ;-'
`'-; (_/ ; _ _ ; ) /
\ ( \ (.\/.) / .-. / |
\ \ \ \/\/ /-._.' \ | |
\ \ \ .. /_ \ | |
\ \ | |__) |\ \ | |
\ `"`|==|_ | \ \| |
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\/ '. / `\ /
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/` \ `//`
| \`-....-'\ `-.____.'/
| | / /`"-----'`
| | | |
| / | |
.------' \ / /
(((--------' \ |
| \
| |
| |
| /
/ )
jgs / |
(-(-('
EITHER THAT OR A LITTLE BITCH WHORE

I DON'T MUCH CARE
%
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DID YOU TAPE THIS WEEK'S WITCHBLADE

MY VCR DIDN'T GET IT FOR SOME REASON
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MOM LOOK WHAT I FOUND [.[.] =## / e e |
IN THE LOCKER ROOM!!! /_ )# ( J )
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CAN I KEEP HIM?? HUH???? .'`\ /'-._ _'.____.'-
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I PROMISE TO FEED , `. . ,
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WELL HELLO THERE .```. _.''..
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I'M A CUTE BABY : d `.
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GIVE IT UP BITCH
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; ; TEMPEST FUGIT !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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\ (`'--, ,--'`) / IT UP THE ASS FOR WOODEN NICKELS
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REST IN PEACE
STEPHEN JAY GOULD
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LOOKS LIKE EVOLUTION

WON THAT FIGHT
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LOOK IT'S GANESH AND ITS TWIN SIBLING:
FUCKFACE
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WATCH THEM EAT ALL THE PEANUTS IN SIGHT

AND THEN TURN THEIR PREHENSILE TRUNKS
TOWARD LOWER TARGETS
%
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SERIOUSLY IF I BUDGE ONE INCH I WILL TOTALLY CRAP MY PANTS

I'M TOUCHING FABRIC HERE PEOPLE
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QUEER DICKS IN DAGUERREOTYPE OR NOTHING
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CLEARLY THIS SPECIMEN HAS A MAJOR CASE OF BABY AIDS

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=====(((=))=====(=)))===========
" `, |' /
/"/ |"" GENTLE GROUND DWELLERS I HAVE BUT ONE REQUEST
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|"|| " " NO MORE FUCKING TAMPON COMMERCIALS PLEASE
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/""~\\. /" ""~, NEXT ONE I SEE IT'S KILLING SPREE TIME
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STEP 1. IT IS BEST TO HAVE SOME VISUAL TO JERK OFF TO. IN MY CASE, I
USE PORNOGRAPHY. A DEAD ANIMAL SUCH AS A VOLE OR A RACCOON WILL ALSO
WORK (THOUGH ONE SHOULD AVOID SKUNKS DUE TO THEIR LEAKINESS), BUT I
HIGHLY RECOMMEND THE USAGE OF HARDCORE PORNOGRAPHY. YOUR NEARBY
WALDENBOOKS OR STROUDS WILL CONTAIN VAST AMOUNTS OF THIS MATERIAL
AVAILABLE SIMPLY FOR THE TAKING. FOR THE PURPOSES OF THIS TUTORIAL WE
WILL SHALL USE YOUR STANDARD LEG-SPREADING WHORE:
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STEP 2. FIND SOMETHING TO BEAT OFF WITH. HERE AN ANIMAL CORPSE WILL
ALSO SUFFICE, BUT WE FIND THAT A GOOD SET OF MITTS OR INDUSTRIAL
GLOVES WILL WORK WELL. AVOID ANYTHING WITH ASBESTOS. BE SURE TO AVOID
CUTTING YOUR OWN THROAT OR KILLING A SCHOOLBUS FULL OF NUNS WHILE
PERFORMING THIS MANEUVER. ALSO AVOID HAMMERS AS THEY MAKE SMASHY
SMASHY.
___ ___
/HHH\ /HHH\
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||||||' `|||||| RR
STEP 3. NOW JERK IT. JERK IT YOU FUCKING WHORE. JERK IT LIKE YOU'RE A
RUSSIAN PROSTITUTE WHO HAS TO REALLY WORK FOR EVERY RUBLE YOU EARN. AS
WE LACK A GOOD FACE SPURTING ASCII ART WE WILL INSTEAD USE THIS
HAPPY-GO-LUCKY ELEPHANT:
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STEP 4. FINALLY, BLOW YOUR SWEET LOAD YOU DUMB BITCH. IT IS IMPORTANT
THAT YOU PREPARE IN ADVANCE (STEP 0) BY CHOOSING AN ADEQUATE
RECEPTACLE FOR YOUR SPURT, CALLED THE JERKNAP. THIS JERKNAP IS VITALLY
IMPORTANT TO THE SUCCESS OF YOUR ENDEAVOR: IF YOU CHOOSE THE WRONG
THEN YOUR SEED WILL BE WASTED FOR ALL TIME AND YOU WILL GO STRAIGHT TO
HELL (THE BAD HELL, NOT THE ONE WITH THE PROSTITUTES). ANY GARMENT
WILL SUFFICE, ALTHOUGH FEMININE FRILLY THINGS ARE HIGHLY RECOMMENDED
IN ORDER TO HELP YOU FORGET THAT YOU'RE ALL ALONE. FOR THE SAKE OF
ARGUMENT WE WILL SHOW AN ASSORTMENT OF QUEER SHIT:
___ ___
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STEP 5. NOW THAT YOU'VE JERKED IT BUT GOOD, THE HAZE OF ENDORPHINS AND
SLEEPY EYES WILL PREVENT THE CRUSHING PRESSURES OF DEPRESSION FROM
KILLING YOURSELF FOR ANOTHER THREE TO SIX HOURS. BUY A FALAFEL OR
SOMETHING.
STEP 6. REPEAT.
%
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.sSSSSSSSs
sSS=""^^^"s LET'S MAKE LOVE
/\ , / \_\_\|_/_) UNDERNEATH THE STARS
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AS IN THE MUCOIDS FROM STAR CONTROL 2
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[|] NOBODY LIKES THE FRENCH
[|]
[|] NOT EVEN ME
[|]
.[|]. WAIT A MINUTE I DO LIKE THE FRENCH
:/|\:
[/|\] IF YOU ARE FRENCH SEND E-MAIL
[/|\] AND I WILL TOTALLY SUCK YOU OFF
.:_#|#_:.
|_ '-' _| WAIT WAIT FROGS DON'T HAVE DICKS
/\:-.-:/\
/\|_[|]_|/\ NO DICKS AND NO NAZI AUCTIONS
_/\|~ [|] ~|/\_
[''=-.[|].-=''] CHRIST NO WONDER THERE'S A PETROL STRIKE
:-._ | _.-:
//\;::-:-::;/\\ FUCKING FAGGOTS
/\.'-\\/|\//-'./\
.'\/' :\|/: '\/'.
.//\(' [\|/] ')/\\.
'':][\.' .[\|/]. './][:''
'' :/\|/\: ''
.[\/|\/].
'.|.'
'
%
.-'-. ________________________
\ | ____ / \
\ | / ) ( I SHOULD REALLY LEARN )
\ | / .-'" \_ HOW TO MASTURBATE /
_\|/.' o()(__)_____________________/
/_____\_
/'----|_/_
| 0
\ __::/ _ __@__
/ \ H (_) / _ _\
/ (_|_---|_/ /_(_)(_)\
/ \____ \.-' /(_)(_)(_)\
_ / )\_/ |/\\//\\//\\|
\/ / (/_ |/\\//\\//\\|
_/\_(_______) |/\\//\\//\\|
"""""""""""""
%
\\////// DRINKING BONGWATER DOES
\\ | NOT GRANT MAGICAL POWERS
\(_ x| /
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| | | . ;>, $ '
| | | . % .~@ . &
UUUU---| :?. ;. .^# . ^
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%
SHUT UP BELOW
I HAVE THE AIDS __ __ /
\ __ [_|]'_|] __ KILL ALL QUEER COCKSUCKERS
THE [_|].-'-_-_'-._] /
JEWS CONTROL _.'.'-.-'' '-.-'__
HOLLYWOOD [_|]-.'. ' ' .'.-_] PIPE DOWN UP THERE
\ _/ /_/ '.'. ' ' . .' -_ /
[_|]_' '.'_'_. .' '._]
|_|_| = = (.-_o) = = :-_'
[_|] _ .//\/_\. .-_]
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[_|]_`./.-/.-.-.\_'-_]
'.'.-'-//__.\.\\.'
[_|]-/.-_ .-[_\\
// // [_|] \.\\
_____//_//_________\.\\_____ mic
%
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%
AND ANOTHER THING I SWEAR TO GOD I'LL
GO POSTAL IF I HEAR THE WORD "EXTERMINATE"
ONE MORE TIME GIVE IT A REST YOU GUYS
.(O). /
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%
SERIOUSLY WONDERING IF AALIYAH
AND LEFTEYE WILL MEET EACH
OTHER IN HEAVEN
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------------..
''........$$$$. MY STORY IS SAD BUT TRUE
/'.' $;$ '$$.
!./'..$;$.. '$$ MY UNCLE HAD A BAD HABIT OF
!'.$;;;;;;;$. $$ VISITING OUR FAMILY FOR DAYS
' $;;;;;;;;;$ $$ ON END AND ALL THE WHILE HE'D
$;; ;;;;;;$ $$ MOLEST US SILLY
$;; ;;;;;;$ $$
$;; ;;;;;;$ $$ ALL RIGHT I LIED
$;; ;;;;;;$ $$
$;; ;;;;;;$ $$ I'M A FIRE EXTINGUISHER
$;; ;;;;;;$ $$
$;; ;;;;;;$ $$ I DON'T HAVE AN UNCLE OR EVEN THE
$;; ;;;;;;$ $$. REQUIRED SET OF GENITALS TO
$;; ;;;;;;$ '$$ ILLEGALLY STROKE OR CARESS
$;; ;;;;;;$
$;; ;;;;;;$ THE FACT IS I WAS MOLESTED I JUST
$;;;;;;;;;$ CAN'T PROVE IT IN A COURT OF LAW
dp;;;;;;;;$
'$$$$$$$' ALL RIGHT I LIED AGAIN
%
PEPSI BLUE TASTES LIKE WINDEX
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WE ARE COLLECTIVELY WATCHING YOU JERK

OFF IN THE COMFORT OF YOUR OWN HOME
%
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SURE THEY LOOK CUTE BUT DID YOU KNOW
THE AVERAGE WIENER DOG CAN SUCK ITS
OWN WEIGHT IN COCKS AND THEREFORE AIDS
__
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%
LADIES AND GENTLEMEN THE VICE-PRESIDENT
OF THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA (AS PLAYED
TONIGHT BY A HUNGRY-MOUTHED BI-CURIOUS BASS)
|
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,|.
,\|/.
,' .V. `.
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%
FRAME 1: WHAT A BEAUTIFUL DAY I THINK I'LL GO TO THE BEACH
FRAME 2: A LOVELY DAY AT THE BEACH
FRAME 3: IMMEDIATELY FOLLOWING BLOWJOBS UNDER THE BOARDWALK
FRAME 4: DRIVING HOME AND THINKING ABOUT WHAT YOU DID
NOT SHOWN: FRAME 0 WHERE I SUCK NINE DICKS AND GIVE THE JIZZ
TO CHARITY BUT I WON'T SAY WHICH ONE
----------------------------------------------------------------------,
[] [] [] [] [] [] [] [] [] [] [] [] [] [] [] [] [] [] [] [] [] [] [] |
---------------------------------------------------------------------/
\|/ | O - ^^ | | _ _ |
--O--|/ \ O ^^ | ^^ ||||| | ___ ( ) ( ) |
/\ /|\ | --|-- | ^^ |O=O| |_ __/_|_\,_|___|___/
/ \/\ |~~~~~~~~~~~|~~~~~~| ( - ) | `-O---O-' |
/\ \/\_| / \ | .-~~~-. | -- -- -- -- -- /
/ /\ \ | ' ` | //| o |\\ |______________ |
--------------------------------------------------------------_/
[] [] [] [] [] [] [] [] [] [] [] [] [] [] [] [] [] [] [] [] ['
------------------------------------------------------------'
%
WHAT IF I'M GAY
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%
SURE I HAD MY OWN CEREAL BUT THEY TOOK IT AWAY
FROM ME AND GAVE IT TO A RAPPING FROG
I'M NOT BITTER
HEY I FUCKED DREW BARRYMORE DON'T YOU KNOW
NOT DURING THE E.T. YEARS JESUS WHAT DO YOU

MAKE ME FOR
I WOULD HAVE FUCKED TOM GREEN TOO BUT HE WOULDN'T HOLD STILL
.--. .--.
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I JERK OFF TO HYENAS
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IF I COULD BE SERIOUS FOR A MINUTE FOLKS !!!

DOES ANYONE ON THIS GREAT BLUE MARBLE WE CALL
PLANET EARTH FUCKING LIKE THAT PIECE OF SHIT
EVERYBODY LOVES RAYMOND SHOW ???????????????
NOBODY ????????? THOUGHT SO
%
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$((()/ REMEMBER THE ICE SHELF
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EAT THIS YOU DUMB ,;;;;,
MOTHERFUCKER ;''';;;,
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ooO` Ooo`
AND SO BEGAN THE LONG PROCESS

OF MEN DOING FUCKING DUMB SHIT
FOR IDIOT WOMEN IN ORDER TO GET LAID
%
I CALL THE GOVERNMENT ".MIL" BECAUSE
IT ACCURATELY INDICATES MY LOVE OF GAY HAITIAN DICK
_|_
._._|_._. SO IS "HAITIAN" A
|_______| /\/\/\/\ PALINDROME OR WHAT
\_____/ \______/
)___( (____) /\ . \
/_____\ )__( / \ /|_ _ _ \
| | /____\ ( ) / .\ | |_| | __
| | | | )__( ( \_ \ |_____| / \
| | | | /____\ \ `\,) |___| \__/
| | | | | | / \ | | /____\
/_____\ /____\ /____\ )___( )___( |__|
(_______) (______) (______) (_____) (_____) (____)
)_______( )______( )______( )_____( )_____( )____(
(_________) (________) (________) (_______) (_______) (______) lc
KING QUEEN BISHOP KNIGHT ROOK PAWN
%
.-""-._ IN THE LATEST INSTALLMENT
/ ___/ \ _&_ ROBIN WILLIAMS STARS AS
_.--""|/ `\| // \\ THE PSYCHOTIC SERIAL KILLER
.' ( ^/ ^ )'. / / \ \ FROM OUTER SPACE WHO'S A
/ | _ | \ // / \ \\ ROBOT TOY FOR A BOY AND
| _\____/ | /_/_/_\_\_\ GOES TO HELL TO RESCUE HIS
| .' \____/-._ | .-"-. WIFE WHO IS NAMED GARP
| / `; /# \ AND LIVES IN AN EGG-SHAPED
| / / _|_.---\ | | SPACESHIP WITH JONATHAN
|.-.; :--.-(_/.____/.-""\___/"-. WINTERS
/ \ / ~~/ /\ \{"=.______.="}
/--. ; /___/_~~/ ; .--\"=...__...="}
/ \-/ `\______|/ \-.______..-;
| /`| | \ | |||| ||
| /_ | |_______/ | |||| ||
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|______| |____________|._ || _..-;|
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%
THIS FILE WAS TITLED DOWEL.TXT
BUT I THINK WE ALL KNOW BETTER
.--//-//-//------------/"\
/ === === === j l
\ === === === l j
`--\\-\\-\\------------\_/
%
HI FIRST TIME CALLER LONG TIME LISTENER
I JUST WANTED TO SAY DITTOS AND THAT I
LOVE YOUR SHOW AND THAT I FUCKED FRANK
SINATRA
* *
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__ / .-
/.-' |/,-'`
.--. // _.-'''-._ I AM SO GOING TO
//~`_\//_ _.;.--._.--.;._ SUCK YOUR COCK
'--| // .|` /( O / \ O )\ ` MR. MAN
|~~~~~| ; '-' '-' ;
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'.______.' | |
\__/
%
_.----. HERE'S A RIDDLE FOR FAGGOTS:
.----------------" / / \ GUESS WHERE THIS FLASHLIGHT HAS
( | | |) | BEEN ???? RIGHT !!! NOW THEN
`----------------._\ \ / GUESS WHERE THIS FLASHLIGHT IS
"----' GOING TO GO !!! RIGHT ALSO
%
~~ ~~ ~~~~~ ~~ \`v'/ ~~ ~~ ~ ~ ~
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IF YOU CAN IDENTIFY WHAT THIS IS

SUPPOSED TO BE YOU GET FIFTY PESOS
(APPROXIMATELY TEN TRILLION LIRA)
%
.--"""""""--. AT FIVE STARS
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%
/ .-
|/,-'` STEVE GUTTENBERG'S ON THE PHONE
_.-'''-._
/` __ __ `\ HE WANTS TO KNOW WHEN HE GETS
___ ;__.--._.--.__; HIS CAREER BACK
/ /\ ( O / \ O ) `\
| _\/_ '-' '-' _/ OR WHY HE WAS EVER POPULAR IN
_|_|' | (_) | THE FIRST PLACE
/ __) | |
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%
_
.-' '-.
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|,-,-,-,-,|
___ |
_)_(_ | WHEN I HIT THE COMPOSE BUTTON
(/ \) | THE LIGHT GOES ON
_\_/_ /)
/ \_/ \//
|( )\/ AND WHEN I HIT IT AGAIN
||)_( IT GOES OFF
|/ \
n| |
/ \ |
|_|___|
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jgs _/L\_
%
_____ _____
// _/__ // _/__
// // / // // /
// // / // // /
// // / // // /
// // / // // /
/| _// / /| _// /
/ // / / / // / /
___J_C_ /__/________________________________J_C_ /__/_________
-----/ C__C% % % %\ /% % % % % / C__C----------
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/||/__/% % % % % %\ /% % % % % %|/__/|
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| (% % % % % %\ /% % % % % %) |
| (% % % % % %\ /% % % % % %) |
\ (% % % % % %\ /% % % % % %) /
| (% % % % % %\/% % % % % %) |
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| (% % % % % % % % % %) |
\ (% % % % %% % % % %) /
| (% % % % % % % %) |
\ (% % % %% % % %) /
\ |- - - - - - | /
`\.____/______________\____./' VK
GIRLS ARE SO FILTHY !!!!!!!! IN ORDER TO HELP CLEANSE MYSELF I HAD

TO CUT OFF THIS HOOKER'S TRUNK[1] AND DRAIN IT OF ALL BLOOD BEFORE
I COULD TAILOR IT AROUND MY OWN WAIST AS A GIRDLE
*** 1. THE TRUNK IS THE PART BELOW THE TORSO AND ABOVE THE CUNT
%
_.--_,
SLOWLY AS THE SUN SET / ' ('|
THE RAPE BLANKET CAME | !. `.\ _.----.=~~`.
DOWN LIKE A CURTAIN L_ ~~ ~`. `.
/(/ ` |.
,| ' |/\
/`` ' /
: ~~`.
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%
I FEEL A DISTINCT BURNING
__..-======-------..__ SENSATION WHEN I URINATE
. ' ______ ___________`.
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/ .' | || `.` \\ \ \\ _
.' / | || \\ \\_____\_____\\__________[_]
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| | / .-. ' |_____\___________/_/ .'---. `. | | | |
`-'| | O |'..`------------------'.....'/ .-. \ | | ___.--'
LGB \ `-' / / `._.' | | O | |'___...----''___.--'
`._.'.' \ `-' / [___...----''_.'
`._.'.'
%
THANK GOD
WHAT THIS WORLD REALLY NEEDED
WAS ANOTHER GODDAMN TETRIS VARIATION
\
\
|`-._
.-' `-.-;"\.
.--------------------------------..-.. _ .-'\ | /o\ | \\\
|\ ________________________________\\ \\\/ \\ | | ///\
| | __ __ _ __ __ _ __ __ __ ||-||| '. \/ //////|
| | |__|__/_\ |__|__|_| |__|__|__| || ||| ///////|
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| | |__|__|_/ |__|__ _ |__|--'__ | . || \'..'/////////
| | |__| |__|__|_| |__|__|__| |( )|| `--`///////;
\| | ' ||---. ,,,////////////
jgs'---------------------------------'---' `.//////////////'
```=///////='
%
,;;;;;;,
,;;;'""`;;\ MAYBE IF I CHANGE
,;;;/ .'`',;\ MY NAME TO P. DIDDY
,;;;;/ | \|_ PEOPLE WILL FORGET
/;;;;; \ / .\ HOW FUCKING LAME I AM
,;;;;;;| '. \/_/
/;;;;;;;| \
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%
"POO IS BROWN," SAID THE CHICKEN. THE OTHER CHICKEN
WEARILY SIGHED. AT THIS POINT IN TIME SHE COULD ONLY
AGREE AND TRY TO DROWN OUT THE NOISE BY DRAWING
HERSELF DEEPER INTO A FANTASY LAND CREATED INSIDE
HER HEAD. IT WAS DIFFICULT TO BE THE LEADER OF THE
FREE WORLD OR A BARBARIAN IN BATTLE OR EVEN A
KLINGON IN SPACE WHEN YOUR ONLY COMPANY WAS A
RETARDED CHICKEN. "POO IS NOT FOR EATING," STARTED
THE CHICKEN WHO THOUGHTFULLY PAUSED BEFORE ADDING,
"AT LEAST NOT ALL THE TIME ANYWAY." IT WOULD BE
YEARS BEFORE EITHER BEAST SAW SUNLIGHT AGAIN.
////////////////////////
////////////////////////|
//////////////////////// |
////////////////////////| |
| _\/_ | _\/_ | |
| )o(> | <)o( | |
| _/ <\ | /> \_ | |
| (_____) | (_____) | |_
| ~~~oOo~~~ | ~~~0oO~~~ |/__|
_|====\_=====|=====_/====|_ ||
|_|\_________ O _________/|_|||
||//////////|_|\\\\\\\\\\|| ||
|| || |\_\\ || ||
||/|| \\_\\ ||/||
||/|| \)_\) ||/||
|| || \ o / || ||
|| \ / || LGB
||
||
________
\________/======
/ ( || ) \
%
FROM THE EARTH TO MY NUTS
/\___ /
@@@@@@@@@@@ O \
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@____/
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@
@ @@@@@@@@@@@@
|| ||
~~ ~~ NF
%
o WHEN I WAS IN 7TH GRADE I KNEW A GUY NAMED TROY
| TRUMBULL WHO WORE A BELT THAT SAID "VERN" ON IT
o | o
\ / \ / ____/
\ /
/ | \
o | o
o
o
|
/ \ RIGHT THE RAPE STORY
+---- ----+
\ \ / / ____/
/ / \ \
+---- ----+
\ /
|
o
o
| SO YOU'VE HEARD IT THEN
o | o
\ / \ / ____/
\ /
/ | \
o | o
o
%
,-._,-._ HACKERS WORLDWIDE UNITE
_,-\ o O_/; IN THEIR SUPPORT OF GWEEDS
/ , ` `|
| \-.,___, / `
\ `-.__/ / ,.\
/ `-.__.-\` ./ \'
/ /| ___\ ,/ `\
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%
___ ___
/ \____/ \ NO WOMAN
/ / __ \ \
/ | .. | \ NO BALLS
\___/| |\___/\
| |_| |_| \
| |/|__|\| \
| |__| |\
| |__| |_/ / \
| @ | | @ || @ | '
| |~~| || | HF
'ooo' 'ooo''ooo'
%
HOS GOTTA EAT TOO !!!!!
____ ,-. /
/ /)))( , ) /
( c'a( \`' __/
_) ) _/ |
\_/ (_ |
/ \`~\\ | LADY YOU CLEARLY STOLE THAT LINE
(,,,) )) _j STRAIGHT OUT OF BOYZ N THE HOOD
| /''((_/(_]
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[NO COMMENTARY SEEMS REQUIRED HERE]

%
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,'_ "`-. ,-'""`-.
('"/"-. \ / ,-,. \
`' \ ,-'-/ / `-'
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__ ("|") f NUGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGH
(_)`-"---. |
l ---. j I'M A ZOMBIE BUNNY
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\ f HUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGGHHGHHHHH
) l
__f _ Y MUST TONGUE WANGS (STILL)
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. .
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`' '' ' ' ' AIDS HURTS :-( :-( :-(
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____
_ .-;\)___\ NO I AM NOT GOING TO
|_| \_/ ,---\ SUCK YOUR COCK MISTER
| | / _/ e e
\_/ _%&&%%&_ |(` >|
___T__\______/__ \| =/ WELL OKAY BUT ONLY
'====\\\ ^/====='_/ ,--' IF YOU TIP GOOD
`\ \ .'`._ ( GAHLAGHLGAHLGAHLAGHLAG
\ \ / ``\
\ \/ / ) )
\`'._/ -'.-'\
\__/ / \-'\______
/._'-./ \ ___`'-.
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%
.-'''-. WELP !!!!! TIME TO READ A NEW KIND OF SCIENCE
.~ \ AND BE IMPRESSED WITH HOW SMART STEPHEN
_\/___________ WOLFRAM THINKS HE IS
( | |\ |
| |___|_|_| /
| __ |
| \/ | OOOO
| | ( )
========()== | |
/ /\ \--;_| |
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/_____/ __/ | |-|
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| | ~~~
|____|
|__|
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|________/ -ABG
%
,-~~-.___. DAY 106. I KEEP TELLING CHARLIE HE'S TOO BIG
/ | ' \ FOR ME BUT DOES HE GET THE PICTURE OR EVEN USE
( ) 0 LUBRICATION ????? NO OF COURSE NOT SO GUESS WHO
\_/-, ,----' GETS TO GO TO THE HOSPITAL EVERY OTHER WEEK
==== //
/ \-'~; /~~~(O)
/ __/~| / |
=( _____| (_________| Skydancer
%
TIME TO LICK DICK IN HEAVEN !!!!
____ JUST LIKE ALL OTHER GOOD CHRISTIANS
{} _ \
|__ \ /
/_____\ /
\o o)\)_______
(< ) /#######\
__{'~` }#########|
/ { _}_/########|
/ { / _|#/ )####|
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\__________\|/#####|
|__[X]_____/ \###/
/___________\
| |/ |
|___/ |___/
_| /_| /
(___,_(___,_)
snd
%
.wwwwwwww.
.w" "WW" "w.
." /\ /\ ".
|\ o o /| ONE!!!!
\| ___\/___ |/
/ \ \_v__v_/ / \ ONE MYSTERIOUS BRUISE
/ | \________/ | \
> \ WWWW / < A HA HA HA HA
\ \ "" / /
\ \ / / [THUNDER]
%
AFTERLIFE AIDS dicks get sucked born
+---+ +---+---+---+--- ---+---+---+---+
| | <---+--- | | | | ... | | | | <---+
+---+ | +---+---+---+--- ---+---+---+---+ |
| |
+------------------------------------------------+
NOTE: IF YOU SUCK TOO MANY GODDAMN DICKS DURING YOUR

LIFE YOU WILL CONTINUE TO BE REBORN A COCKSUCKER
%
_.--._
.-"|~~"-. ../" __.-`\boo.. I'VE BEEN DRINKING
/. | /\dHHb-" {*} _\.-'Hboo._
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|HHHHHH| /*}/ ^ ""{*}| | | |HHHHHH|
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%
_________________________________________________________________________
|||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | |
| 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9
| |
| ACTUAL DONG SIZE |
|_______________________________________________________________________|
%
___====-_ _-====___
_--^^^#####// \\#####^^^--_
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` ` ` ` / | | | | \ ' ' ' '
( | | | | )
__\ | | | | /__
(vvv(VVV)(VVV)vvv)
PLEASE SIGN MY PETITION TO GET

SEAQUEST DSV BACK ON THE AIR
%
/~@@~\,
_______ . _\_\___/\ __ /\___|_|_ . _______
~| |\|=|======\\______//======|=|/| |~
|_ | \ | | / | |
\==-| \ | DEAN | / |----|~~)
| | | | | | |____/~/
| | \____\____/____/ / / /
| | {----------} /____/ /
|___| /~~~~~~~~~~~~\ |_/~|_|/
\_/ [/~~~~~||~~~~~\] /__|\
| | | |||| | (/|[[\)
[_] | | | |
|_____| |_____| BZZZ
BONK (_____) (_____) BURP
| | | | BOOP
DONK | | | |
|/~~~\| |/~~~\| CALL THE ENCLAVE
HONK /|___|\ /|___|\
<_______><_______>
%
_.---.__
.' `-. I STARTED THIS GANGSTA SHIT
/ .--. | AND THIS THE MOTHERFUCKING THANKS I GET
\/ / / |_/
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%
~
~ '
` (O) ~
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~ H AND WHOMEVER SHALL PULL THE
` ____hHh____ ENCHANTED SWORD FROM THE
~ `---------' ~ STONED SHALL
` | | | '
| | | OH CRAP IT FELL OUT
| | |
| | | HOLD ON HOLD ON
| | |
| | | OKAY IT'S BROKEN
| | |
| | | I NEED A RIDE TO HOME DEPOT
_____;~~~~~:____ AND WHITE CASTLE THEN
__' \
/ \ | I SAID I NEED A RIDE
| _\\_ | |\
| \\ | | | ___
__ / __ | | | _/ \
/__\ |_____/__\____|_________|__\ /__\___\
%
_.--"""""--._
.' '.
/ \
; ;
| |
| |
; ;
\ (`'--, ,--'`) / LET'S START A PETITION TO
\ \ _ ) ( _ / / BRING BACK STAR TREK: WHATEVER
) )(')/ \(')( (
(_ `""` /\ `""` _) /
\`"-, / \ ,-"`/ /
`\ / `""` \ /` /
|/\/\/\/\/\| /
|\ /| _____/
; |/\/\/\| ;
\`-`--`-`/
\ /
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q__p
q__p
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%
OKAY PEOPLE
SERIOUSLY, FOLLOW THE DOTTED LINE: _ _ _
\
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ /
/
\ _ _ _ _ _
\
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ /
/
\ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ SUCK COCK
%
."". ."", IF I COULD BE ANY KIND OF DINOSAUR
| | / / I'D BE A JERKOFFINACUPOSAURUS
| | / /
| | / /
| |/ ;-._
} ` _/ / ;
| /` ) / /
| / /_/\_/\
|/ / |
( ' \ '- |
\ `. /
| |
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%
/
/__,-,
,/_o,__(
===H====
| T| |
THEY DON'T CALL ME THE KEY TINKLER FOR NOTHING !!!!!
/
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,/_o,__(
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OH JESUS GOD HELP ME MOP PLZ

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I AM THE GOD OF POO
_ WORSHIP ME OR I WILL SMEAR YOU WITH POO

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ISN'T EVEN HER REAL NAME
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,,,, THEY DON'T CALL ME
//// ,_ _ \ JACK THE MOTHERFUCKER
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GUESS WHAT I'M READY FOR ??????????????
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WE LIZARDS ALWAYS CHEAT
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IDKFA IDDQD IDSPISPOPD

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__ I'M A WICCAN !!! BUK BUK BUK BUK
_/o \ PECKING DIRT AND LIGHTING BLACK CANDLES
/_ | | / AND PERFORMING STUPID RITUALS !!!!!
W\ / |//// BUK BUK BUK BRAAWWWK
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%
mmm, I'M HOT AND SPICY JERK WICCAN
/::* >
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Aaa..../:::\ BUK BUK BUK NOT WASHING
\:::::::::::| AND GIVING STRANGERS MONEY
\:::::::::/
\:::::::/
\:/\:/ -BR-
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( I'M ROTISSERIE GOLD WICCAN
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{`-. / (_) DIDN'T SEE THAT ONE COMING DID YOU ???
`={\`-._____/` | BUK BUK BUK BUK PENTAGRAMS AND HOMELESSNESS
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`------------'
%
xx I WILL SOMEDAY BECOME A WICCAN CAESAR SALAD !!!
/ .|_
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((____.-' ) BUK BUK BUK NOT EVEN LOVED BY MY OWN MOTHER
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_
(*)< MY FAVORITE FAST FOOD RESTAURANT IS
ejm97 )(w EL POLLO WICCAN !!!!
__ / )
( _\/ / BUK BUK BUK I'M A FAT UGLY WOMAN
( |\ BRAWWWWK !!!!! BUK BUK BUK PAGAN
" "
THUS CONCLUDES WICCAN WEEK AT ASCII ART FARTS !1!!!

WE NOW CONTINUE WITH OUR REGULARLY SCHEDULED COMPLETE CRAP
%
BLAH BLAH BLAH I'M A QA IDIOT !!!!
OR AS THE ENGINEERS LIKE TO CALL THEM .... QIDIOTS !!!!!
YAPPLE DAPPLE DOO LOOK AT MY NEW BUG

HURGLE DURGLE DEE LET ME SHOW YOU THIS WACKY THING !!!
SHIP IT !!!! HAHAHAHAHAAHA
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I'M A PEDOPHILE !!!!!!!!! NOT LISTENING TO YOU ANYMORE
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I THINK I SEE THE COCK NESS MONSTER
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(______/ `-.____.-' \______)
COME ON EVERYONE LET'S ALL SPURT IN MY FACE

%
WILD WILD WEST WAS POSSIBLY THE
BEST MOVIE EVER CREATED BY HUMANITY
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IF YOU GO TO Z'HA'DUM
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FEED ME PEANUTS AND OTHER ASSORTED
THINGS OR I WILL FUCK YOUR TIGHT ASS
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DEAR GORE VIDAL

COULD YOU SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR FIVE SECONDS PLEASE
%
****
****
****
************
************
****
****
**** IT'S NEVER TOO LATE TO SAVE YOUR SOUL.
****
**** DEDICATE YOUR LIFE TO CHRIST TODAY.
****
**** ALSO TELL KIM TO COME BACK TO ME.
****
%
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***** *****
********** **********
*************
THANKS AND EVERYTHING
GLAD EVERYBODY COULD BE HERE THANKS FOR COMING
BUT COULD SOMEONE PLEASE EXPLAIN TO ME THE LARGE

PREPONDERANCE OF MORNING BONERS (OR AS I CALL THEM
"MORNERS")
FOLKS A BLADDER-INDUCED BONER SHOUTING "JERK ME

JERK ME" IS NOT WHAT I NEED AT EIGHT A.M. WHEN I'M
NOT REALLY FULLY RESTED AND HAVE A LONG DAY'S WORK
AHEAD OF ME
OKAY WHY IS EVERYONE BACKING AWAY SLOWLY FROM ME
P.S. WHO'S THE WISE GUY I AM CLEARLY OLDER THAN FIVE

%
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| | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | |
BEING THE OBLIGATORY HOMELESS DRUNK AND CRACK ADDICT,

OSCAR THE "GROUCH" WAS THE EMBARASSMENT OF THE SESAME
STREET COMMUNITY. MULTIPLE INTERVENTIONS CEASED TO
ADDRESS THE PROBLEM AND EVEN SOME JAIL TIME DIDN'T
BRING HIM AROUND.
FINALLY ON DECEMBER 13, 2000 OSCAR RAPED AND KILLED

A THIRTEEN YEAR OLD GIRL. THEN BIG BIRD AND
SNUFFLEUPPAGUS GANGED UP ON HIM AND SHANKED HIM
PROPER LIKE IN THE YARD.
%
.... OKAY LET'S BREAK IT DOWN PEOPLE
%
^ IF YOU'RE A GUY THERE IS NO SUCH
L THING AS BISEXUAL
"F3 $r
$$$$.e$" . THERE IS ONLY STRAIGHT AND GAY
"$$$$$" "
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. $$$$$$$P YOU ARE GAY
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4$$$$ .$$$$$$$$$$$$$$c YOU THEN YOU ARE GAY
$$$$b .$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$r
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$$$c .$$$$$$$ "$$$$$$$$$r ZERO ON THE KINSEY SCALE: GAY
$$$b .$$$$ $$$"^b $$$$$$$$$
*$$$ $$$$ $$P4$ $^$$$$ $$$ IF YOU EXPERIMENTED ONCE WHEN
*$$$.$$$$ 4$b'$$$.3$$P *$$F YOU WERE YOUNG AND GOT MARRIED
"$$$$$P 4$$e."$$$$$% $$$ TO A WOMAN AND HAD CHILDREN AND
"$$$P $$$$b $$$$ *$$ LIVED A HAPPY PRODUCTIVE
"" $$$$$$."$$$c $$F HETEROSEXUAL LIFE FOREVER
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4$$ ^b $$$$$$$$$ ^$$$$ YES WE KNOW THAT YOU DON'T LIKE
$$$ ^c $$$$$$$$F "*$% TO BE CALLED GAY BUT YOU CHOSE
3$$c * $$$$*"""F THE DICK NOW YOU SLEEP WITH IT
$$$$ cP"
^$$$$c .e" "BI" IS NOT DIFFERENT FROM GAY IT
^$$$$" IS JUST WHAT HOMOS CALL THEMSELVES
JP"
e" ' YOU CAN CALL YOURSELF A "STRIPED
d$ %z. BASS" FOR ALL WE CARE FOLKS YOU'RE
$$$ $$$c STILL FILTHY FAGGOTS AND YOU'RE
z$$$$eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeed$$$$e GOING TO HELL !!!! GOD ISN'T FOOLED
$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$
"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""" Gilo94'
%
.-. .-.
(_ \ / _) WHO'S UP FOR DICK ?????
|
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'.___.'
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: : CHRIST PEOPLE CAN'T I CHOKE DOWN A COCK IN PEACE
: :
`.___.'
._____.
| |
| | JESUS WHO LET THE FAIRY IN
_|_|_
' '
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(_) ( ) GUYS GUYS GUYS CAN'T WE ALL JUST GET ALONG
'. /
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.--.
( ) SHUT UP FRUITY YOU'RE ALWAYS YAPPING
(_) /
(_,
_
' `:--.--.
| | |_
| | | ) WITH ALL THIS YAMMERING I CAN'T HEAR MY COCK BEAT
| | |/
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___.' '.___ CLEARLY NO ORIGINALITY WAS PUT INTO DESIGNING ME
____________
_
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| | |
| | | WHAT THE FUCK MAN I'M A CHEAP COPY OF THAT OTHER ONE
| | | ..,
`---':
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.-"-._.-"-._.- THEY CALL ME DR. GIGGLES
.-"-._.-"-._.-
`-. .-'
: :
--:--:-- EVERYBODY SHUT UP WHILE I JERK OFF
: : TO THIS CHILD PORNOGRAPHY
.-' `-.
%
.--------.
____/ \ GREY 17 IS MISSING !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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ooO Ooo
DON'T GET OFFENDED I HAVE A HANDS-ONLY

GROWTH DISORDER THAT FORCES THEM TO BE
THIS BIG AND IN THIS POSITION
DON'T TURN YOUR BACK ON ME I HAVE A

GODDAMN DISABILITY YOU INSENSITIVE FUCK
%
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PLEASE HELP ME TO TAKE MY OWN LIFE

%
,
, /^\ ___
/^\_/ `...' /`
,__\ ,' ~ (
,___\ ,, ., \ IS IT WRONG TO JERK OFF
\___ \\\ .'.' .-. ) TO MONSTERS, INC.
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jgs \^ uû\ | ' ` ; |
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`"------"'
%
WHAT'S DOWN HERE ????? HURRRRR CRAWLING IN
____ AND DISCOVERING A NEW FANTASY LAND INSIDE
| || / A HOLLOW EARTH (WITH CHUDS)
| =- ||\ /
| || \
| ||\ `////-----.
\___'|_////)/ \
| `-----/ / \
| _____/ /| \
\ (_______/ | /\____
\__________/ \_____\
______/__________\____________\_____
%
LICK THE DICK AND WIN $20!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
:-
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%
FILE UNDER "RAPE KIT, EXTENDED REMIX, BEWARE OF THE," AND
THEN GET ME A DOUBLE LATTE OR ELSE
( )
( )
( )
( )
( )
( )
_____________ (_)
| | | | | |
| | | | | |
| | | |__________|_|___________
__| ----- _____________ \
/ | | ________ | |
\__| Cat |__|_______|__| | _
|__________________________________| //
_______________________________ ______________ //
/ _ ____________________ _ \ ____________||
| (_) |____________________| (_) | \\
\_______________________________ / \\
-------------------------------------------------------------------
%
____
| ||
| =- ||\ HGLUGHALGHGLUAHLGUH
| || \
| ||\ `////-----.
\___'|_////)/ \ NEVER AGAIN
| `-----/ / \ WITH THE DONGS
| _____/ /| \
\ (_______/ | /\____
\__________/ \_____\
___/__________\____________\
%
_________
|=========|
_..-|_ _|-.._
'.__ '---------' __.'-. THE BOOK READS:
.` `-._______.-' `. (o)
.-`( .-._ `-' _.-. )/_\ I WILL NEVER TOUCH A WOMAN
.-` .-. .--._ _.--. .-. `-.
) //-\\ / ~ \ / ~ \ //-\\ (
\ (( < | ~ _ |=| _ ~ | > )) /
| \`-'.'\ (.)/ \(.) /`.`-'/ |
| `.( `---`(_)`---` ).' |
\.-.`-.._ ( '._.' ) _..-`.-./
.' '--.._ `-..___..-' _..--' `.
/ | `--..---..--' | \
| /| | : | |\ |
\ \| ~~~~~ | : | ~~~~~ |/ /
(( ( ~~~~~~~ | : | ~~~~~~~ ) ))
`-' | : | ~~~~~ `-'
| ~~~ ~ | : | |
`-.._ | : | _..-'
(_ `--..|___|..--' _)
/\(____) (____)/ \
|`--.._________..--`|
|| || || ||
|| || || ||
|| || || ||
||.=-'l=======l'=-.||
||=================||
|| || || ||
|| ||
LGB || ||
%
IT'S MY LEARNED OPINION THAT ANDY
ROONEY IS QUITE LIKELY THE FINEST
COMEDIAN EVERY TO GRACE THIS BLUE
WATER WORLD WE CALL THE EARTH
/
|`-:_ /
,----....____ | `+.
( ````----....|___ |
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\ _) ```---.._
\ \
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`!!!!!!!!! :
``!!' I WUV :<!!!!!>
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( BEATING OFF INTO `!!!!!!!!>
\ !!!!!!!!!
\ YOUR LINEN CLOSET `!!!!!
,;<!!!!!,`. ,'`'' .,,,,.
<!!!!!!!!!!.\ / :!!!!!!!!!>
!!''`'!!!!!!>`\ /',: :!!!!!!!!!!!!!;
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%
COME ON MOTHERFUCKER YOU WERE A MAN A MINUTE AGO
+----+ +--+ ++ + ++ +--+ +-----+

| | | | || | || | | | |
+----+ +--+ ++ + ++ +--+ +-----+
+---g)) +--+ ++ + ++ +((e +-----+

+----+((+--+ ,,,,,+ ++ ))-+ +-----+
(( ,ddddbbbb, ))
+----+ (((ddddOOOObbbb)))+--+ +-----+
g))) (dd00100100bb)
+---(((((d000000000000P)))))+ +-----+
+----+ +(YY01000010PP) +-(((e+-----+
(((YYYY1111PPPP)))
+----+((+--'YYYYPPPP'++ ))--+ +-----+
| (( | | ''''| || )) | | |
+--g)) +--+ ++ + ++ +((e +-----+
WAIT WAIT SHIT THIS CAPTION DOESN'T GO WITH THE

PICTURE NOTE TO SELF DON'T PUBLISH UNTIL THIS IS
SORTED OUT OR YOU WILL LOOK REALLY FUCKING STUPID
WHAT IS THIS THING ANYWAY, A CONCENTRATION CAMP

BEETLE ??? MOTHRA GAINED SOME WEIGHT ???? HELP ME
OUT HERE
%
RE: ATTACHED CABOOSE IS MORE LIKE
STALKER/VICTIM THAN PARASITE/HOST (SIGH)
WHAT WITH HIM ALL THE WAY UP MY FAT ASS
. . . . o o o o o /
_____ o
____==== ]_o|_n_n__][.
[________]_|__|________)<
oo oo 'oo OOOO-| oo\\_
+--+--+--+--+--+--+--+--+-$1-+--+--+--+--+
%
I'M GOING TO TOTALLY CLAMP MY JAW
DOWN ON YOUR GAY DICK AND NOT LET GO
UNTIL YOU PRY MY COLD DEAD FACE FROM
YOUR SWOLLEN, BLEEDING PACKAGE
\ ______.--------.
/' \
/'\ \
..-'\()'\ .'''. ./'
| .' /
\..} '\.
/ { /' '\ \
{------' .' '. '|
\ . | \ |
'\_____/ | | |
/ | | |
.' | | |
| | | |
| | | |
| | \
|
%
_ _
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( @ : `. .' : @ )
\ `. `. ._ _. .' .' /
\;' `. `. \ / .' .' `;/
\`. `. \ \_/ / .' .'/
) :-._`. \ (:) / .'_.-: ( THE BEST PART ABOUT
(`.....,`.\/:\/.',.....') TIM ALLEN IS THE PART
>------._|:::|_.------< WHEN I CHANGE THE
/ .'._>_.-|:::|-._<_.'. \ FUCKING CHANNEL
|o _.-'_.-^|:|^-._`-._ o|
|`' ;_.-'|:|`-._; `'| CAN WE SEND THAT COKE
jgs ".o_.-' ;."|:|".; `-._o." FIEND BACK TO JAIL
".__." \:/ ".__." OR WHAT
^
%
_.-+. DEAR HENRY,
_.-"" '.
+:"" '. PLEASE STOP WRITING. YOUR ASCII CUBE IS OF
J \ '. NO INTEREST TO OUR PUBLICATION. WE URGE
L \ _.-+ YOU TO INSTEAD TO MASTURBATE TO COMPLETION
| '. _.-" | INSTEAD OF GETTING HALFWAY HARD (SQUISHY
J \ _.-" L IS THE WORD I THINK YOU USED) AND GIVING UP
L +" J TO DRAW ASCII CUBES, PRINT THEM OUT AT THE
+ | | LOCAL DRUGSTORE FOR $0.15/PAGE THEN MAIL
\ | .+ THEM TO NYC. GIVE IT UP, MAN.
\ | .-'
\ | .-' SINCERELY,
\| .-' THE NEW YORKER MAGAZINE
+ P.S. RESTRAINING ORDER IN FULL EFFECT (WORD)
%
.-""-. _
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.'---""-.| /|) /|/
.' `. /|/ /|/
__/_ \ . /|/ /|/
.' `-. .8-. \\-/|/ /|/ JUST LIKE A TEST
J .--. Y .o./ .o8\ |/\ `/_.-. I CRAM TO UNDERSTAND U
| ( \ 98P 888| /\ / ( ` |
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/ _ \
/=[_]==\
(`.--.____.---.'\
`._/<o><o>'\\_.'
| /. |/
__\:-: .'_ I HAVE AIDS
LGB `-'
.--.
/ _ \ .
/=[_]==\`/'
/`.--._____.---.'\
`._//(o) (o)'\\_.'
|| /. |/
__\:--: .'_ OH YEAH WELL I GOT IT BEFORE YOU DID !!!
LGB `--'
.----.
/ _ \
|=[_]==|
(`.--.____.---.'\
`-./<o><o>'\\_.'
| /. .||
\:-: .' GUYS I'M THE ONE WHO FUCKED THE ORIGINAL MONKEY
LGB `-' IN AFRICA SO I WIN THE POT
%
.~~~.
BE GAY WITH ME (\__/) .' )
\ /o o \/ .~
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.'.-\\\`.`. '.-. ( HAVE A DICK UP ME NOW
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|>>>
|
_ _|_ _
|;|_|;|_|;|
\\. . /
\\: . /
||: |
||:. |
||: .| i miss kim
||: | \,/
||: , | /`\
||: | quiet you
||: . |
_||_ |
__ ----~ ~`---, ___
---__ ,--~' ~~----_____-~' `~----~~
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%
\\\ _ __
\ \ (_) (__) THE KNIGHTS WHO SAY NI !!!!
\ \ ___ WINK WINK NUDGE NUDGE !!!!!!!
\ \_ /_ \ NOBODY EXPECTS A MONTY PYTHON JOKE !!!!
\_ \|| | |
\ ||_| |
\ \___/ \_________
\ / ______ /
/ / / /
| / / /
| | ///
| |
| \_
\ \_
\ \ :F_P:
\ \ \_
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\ \ \_ \
\ | \_ \_
| | \_ \
| | \ \
_/ / \ |
(___| \_|
%
!! !!
!!!!!! !!!!!!
++!!!!!!!!!!##!!!!!!!!!!++
++++++!!!!!!######!!!!!!++++++ TRY AS YOU MIGHT
++++++++++!!##########!!++++++++++
++++++++++{}##########{}++++++++++ YOU WILL NOT
++++++{{{}}}######{{{}}}++++++
++{{{{{}}}}}##{{{{{}}}}}++ BE ABLE TO BEAT OFF
%%{{{{{}}}}}--{{{{{}}}}}%%
%%%%%%{{{}}}------{{{}}}%%%%%% TO THIS RORSCHACH
%%%%%%%%%%{}----------{}%%%%%%%%%%
%%%%%%%%%%/\----------/\%%%%%%%%%% TEST BUT DON'T LET
%%%%%%///\\\------///\\\%%%%%%
%%/////\\\\\--/////\\\\\%% MY NEGATIVE VOICE
[]\\\\\/////==\\\\\/////[]
[[[]]]\\\///======\\\///[[[]]] DISCOURAGE YOU IF YOU
[[[[[]]]]]\/==========\/[[[[[]]]]]
[[[[[]]]]]||==========||[[[[[]]]]] WANT TO START UP
[[[]]]||||||======||||||[[[]]]
[]||||||||||==||||||||||[] AND BE A GOD-LIKE
<>||||||||||()||||||||||<>
<<<>>>||||||((()))||||||<<<>>> MASTURBATION MACHINE
<<<<<>>>>>||((((()))))||<<<<<>>>>>
<<<<<>>>>>::((((()))))::<<<<<>>>>> THEN GO FOR IT
<<<>>>::::::((()))::::::<<<>>>
<>::::::::::()::::::::::<> I'M JUST SAYING I CAN'T
^^:::::::::: ::::::::::^^
^^^^^^:::::: ::::::^^^^^^ GET HARD WHILE LOOKING AT
^^^^^^^^^^:: ::^^^^^^^^^^
vvvvvvvvvv vvvvvvvvvv A PICTURE OF MY MOM DOING IT
vvvvvv vvvvvv
vv vv TWO WAY WITH THOSE CRABS
%
\\\\\////// I REALLY APPRECIATE AMAZON
\\\\\\////// CUSTOMER REVIEWS !!!
[[[[[[[]]]]]]]]
/////////\\\\\\ I GIVE THIS VIDEO GAME 5 OUT
/\ //// ~0 ( 0~ \\\\ OF 5 STARS !!!! NEVER MIND THE
/ \ //(, 8-_\-8 ,)\\ FACT THAT IT HASN'T BEEN RELEASED
/ \ //|\ .===. /|\\ YET AND MY COMMENTS CLEARLY
|/||\| \ '===' /* REVEAL THE FACT THAT I'VE NEVER
|| \__.__/ PLAYED IT !!!!
_.=||=._ .---'@ @'---.
/| || |\ / '@ @' \ I'M CONVINCED THAT THE GAME WILL
_||_ / . Y . _/\ LIVE UP TO THE HYPE THAT I AM
/ _))-' /|'---{@}---'|\_/\ IN FACT UNWITTINGLY CONTRIBUTING
| _) _.' | --:-- | \ \ TO BECAUSE I'M AN IGNORANT FUCK
\___)-' | --:-- | \ \
|| ; --:-- ; / / IF ONLY GOD WOULD STRIKE ME
|| \____.____/ / / DOWN (AS IS HIS JOB) THE WORLD
|| .{{{{{{{{}}}}}/ /` WOULD BE A BETTER PLACE
|| {{{{{{{{{{{{{}} |
|| {}}}}}}}}}}}}}}_/ FOLKS I KNOW IT MAY SOUND LIKE
|| {{{{{{{{{{{{{{} I'M PREACHING TO THE CONVERTED BUT
|| {}}}}}}}}}}}}}} SERIOUSLY THIS IS GOING TO BE
|| '{}}}}}}}}}}}}' GREATEST GAME EVER MADE !!!!!
|| | | |
|| | | |
|| | | | WAS THIS REVIEW HELPFUL TO YOU ???
|| | | |
|| |'-'|'-'| [ ] YES [X] NO
|| | | |
|| | | |
|| |___| |
|| (___) }
|| / | \
jgs || (oooO Oooo)
%
THIS IS THE WORST ISSUE OF GAMES MAGAZINE EVER
_________________________________________________________________
| _____________________________________________________ |
| AIDS | _____ | | | | | | ____________________ | |
|________| | |_____| | |_____| | _________________ | |
|___________| |___________| | _____| | ___________ | | |
| ___________| ___________| | ______| | ________| | | |
| | ___________| ___________|___________| |___________| | |
| | | __ | _________________ |_____ | | | |
| | | | | | | | | ______________|_____ | | | | | |
| | | | | | |_____| | _____ | __ | | | | | | |
| | | | | |___________| | | | | | | | | | | | |
| | | | |_________________| | | | | | | | | | | | |
| | | | | _________________|_____| | | | | | | | | |
| | | | | | __ ______________| | | | | __| | | |
| | | | | | | | | ________ | | | | | | | | | |
| | | | | | | | | | _____ | | | | | | ____| | |
| | | | | | | | | | | ______| | | | | ________| |
| | |_____| | | | | | |_____ | | | | | | |
| |_____ | |__| | | |________| | | | |__| | YOUR FACE |
|___________|_______________________|________|________|___________|
WHERE'S THE PAGE 3 GIRL ??? GODDAMNIT

%
_,,---.)\__
,'. ""`. HELP ME
f.: \
,-.|: ,-. ,-. Y-.
,-. f , \. /: \ . / | j
f. Y `.`. _`. ,'_ |f
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I CALL IT **SLOWLARIS** !!!!!! GET IT ????
%%%%%% HLGAHLGLGAHL OH GOD AGLHGLAHLAGAGHLHGLA
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`\ \ | | |/ .-~ __ INDUSTRY !!!!!
\ \ | | | .'--~~ \
\ \ | | ` ' _______/ YOU WOULD BE FOOLISH TO
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\ `.\ \ \ / WITTY AND CLEVER !!!!
`\ \ \ `\ (
\ \ \ > ,-.-. HURRRRRRR POSTING TO USENET
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\ . \ /___| O |O\ , ASS OUT OF MYSELF
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I HAVE A VENEREAL DISEASE

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OKAY BUT SERIOUSLY NOT YOU'VE GOT TO ADMIT THAT DIANA

FROM V: THE ORIGINAL SERIES WAS PRETTY DAMN HOT
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( _|__\ (_ \ OH MY GOD IT'S NOT SCALABLE OH
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CLAW HAMMER / CLAW HAMMER / MAKE ME A MATCH

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I'M THE FEDERAL RESERVE BANK

FUCK MY TIGHT LITTLE ASSHOLE
%
I'M A QUARK
WELL I'M A JAGUAR
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JESUS CHRIST NO WONDER THE SEVENTIES FUCKING SUCKED DICK

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BIZARRE TO ACTUALLY EXIST
ISN'T SCIENCE FICTION WONDERFUL ????

%
I DON'T KNOW WHAT
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(
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COULD ARTHUR MILLER OF THE JUSTICE FILES
PLEASE STOP FUCKING MY TIGHT ASS DRY ??
RAD THANKS ( )
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I AM INFECTED WITH CODE RED
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%
+-------------------------------------+
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+-------------------------------------+
DUDE THIS POSITION IS REALLY UNCOMFORTABLE

%
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J______L CLEARLY THESE OBJECTS I AM "JUGGLING"
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FOR ME THE MOST IMPORTANT THING IN THE
.----''''- ROCKET TRAVEL IS THE BLAST OFF
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````
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IN 2035 ALL THE NATIONS OF AFRICA JOINED TOGETHER TO FORM THE AFRICAN
CONGLOMERATE, A FEDERATION OF NATIONS UNDER THE COMMON GOAL OF
BRINGING THE STANDARD OF LIVING UP TO BE COMMENSURATE WITH THE REST
OF THE FIRST WORLD WITHOUT RELYING SO HEAVILY ON FOSSIL FUELS
OH EXCEPT FOR MOROCCO WHICH WENT TO THE EUROPEAN UNION AND ALGERIA,
LIBYA, EGYPT, AND THAT LITTLE COUNTRY BETWEEN ALGERIA AND LIBYA WHOSE
NAME I CAN'T REMEMBER WHICH ARE ALL FULL OF DIRTY DISGUSTING PEOPLE
THAT NEED TO BE DESTROYED
P.S. MADAGASCAR SUNK I GUESS
___________
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MY JERKNAP IS LEAKING DNA EVIDENCE

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.---. IF I AM THE FIRST CREATURE TO FLY
/ \ AND THE ANCESTOR OF ALL MODERN
) o \ BIRDS THEN WHY DO I NOT FEEL
/,- \ \)_ THE JOY AND RAPTURE OF FLYING ??
V )/) \_) \ WHY INSTEAD DO I WANT TO ROLL
( , \ \ AROUND IN DIRT AND MY OWN FILTH
-_(-__ \ / \ | AND PUNCH TITS ????
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/ \ | I SHOULD HAVE BEEN BORN A PIG
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YOU SEE MY DEAR IF YOU ARE NOT COMPLETELY SILENT AND COMPLACENT I WILL
SUFFER FROM A HORRIBLE MALADY WE MEN REFER TO AS "BLUEBALLS" !!!!!!
NOW HOW COULD YOU IN GOOD CONSCIENCE SENTENCE ME TO SUFFER THROUGH
SUCH A THING ??????
OWOWOWOWOW (BLUEBALLS) YOU FUCKIN' WHORE
XXXX
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%
_
__( \
--( ) WHAT TO GET THIS CHRISTMAS FOR THE
/~( (/)/)/ ) GIRL WHO HAS EVERYTHING!!!!!
| ( ) ^ ^|)
|/ / <o)(o)) 1. PLASTIC NOVELTY "BEER HAT"
/ / \ _' / 2. THE ULTIMATE GUIDE TO ANAL SEX FOR
( | |\___/ WOMEN BY TRISTAN TAORMINO
/\ \ | | 3. A CARD THAT SAYS ONLY 2 + 2 = 4
/ \ -- v ---
\ |oooo oooo|\
/V V \ o / | __
V V V \ /| | / _\
XXXXXXX | |/ / ^
/ | / / \
/ --/ / \
/ \ /_____\
/ \( + )
/ \-------(
/ \_______)
VVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVV
( )( )
| || |
| || |
( )( )
| || |
| || |
| || |
^^^^^^
|_||_|___
(____>___>
%
WANNA SUCK
MY COCK ???
| DUDE YOU'RE GAY ???

| WHAM WHAM WHAM
| GIVING YOU A GOOD STIFF
| FAG BASHING
YOU HURT MY |
(GAY) FEELINGS |
|
| |
| |
.=~\ /~=.
,'|-~'--__. .__--'~-|`.
/ | '' \ / '' | \
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| | | |
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| | | |
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| | | | | | | |
`===`=== ==='==='
%
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(""h "P OMIGOD MY BOYFRIEND WEARS THOSE
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%
MY DICK HAS ARBITRARILY BEEN CHOSEN
FOR YOU TO STICK IN YOUR FACE
,|
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.......`--------`----------'..........
%
THIS JUST IN: EXPERTS SAY CANCER RATES ARE EXPECTED TO INCREASE IN
IRAQ BY A FACTOR OF ONE HUNDRED OVER THE NEXT TWO YEARS !!!!!!!
HAPPY RAMADAN MOTHERFUCKERS
_,.-----.,_
,-~ ~-.
,^___ ___^.
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| | }:{ | |
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| |l _ _ _ _ _ !| |
| l \/V V V V V V\/ j |
l \ \|_|_|_|_|_|/ / !
\ \[T T T T T TI/ /
\ `^-^-^-^-^-^' /
\ / -Row
\. ,/
"^-.___,-^"
OH WAIT THAT'S SEPTEMBER
HAPPY YOU'VE-BEEN-NUKED HOLIDAY OR WHATEVER THEN

%
.======.
| |
| WTF |
| |
.========' '========.
| _ xxxx _ |
| /_;-.__ / _\ _.-;_\ |
| `-._`'`_/'`.-' |
'========.`\ /`========'
| | / |
|/-.( |
|\_._\ |
| \ \`;|
| > |/|
| / // |
| |// |
| \(\ |
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| |
| |
| |
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\\jgs _ _\\| \// |//_ _ \// _
^ `^`^ ^`` `^ ^` ``^^` `^^` `^ `^
%
ANOTHER DAY, ANOTHER PROSTITUTE GROUND UP AND ADDED
TO MY GIANT MEAT SCULPTURE OF TOMMY LEE'S PIERCED COCK
\
\
____________ _..._
| ________ | ___ .' `. ____________
|| || | /`. .-' \ |
|| || | )X / X. "\ |
|| || | | (_) _/ |
||________|| | /((())) / \_____ |
| ] | | \______/ // \ |
| | | _..-) // (\/)\ |
| | | / .\\_..-' \ \/ \ |
| | |_/ \ `. Mom \___|
| | / | \ /
_____|__________| / / / / _______
| ./| / /
_|____\_| | /
\ / _) \__
\ / (_\ \()
___|_____|____ / / \\_\/
__/ | |/ /___|
..'`..'| | | _/_/ | JRO
.'(( ((( |__| |(__() |
.'((( ((( .'__| | |______|________
((( (( ((`. | | | /
((((( (((((`.| | | /
((( ((( ((.'| | / /
`..-''-....' |___________|/
%
_____
,-:::::::.
_,:::::::::::\
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/:::::/ \::T
J:::::J \:J ____
|:::::| LJ ,-::::::-.
L:::::L _##/:::::::::\
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L#########L#########L J_LT J
J#########JJ#########T J__,'
I STILL PREFER THE MUTANT WITH THREE TITS FROM TOTAL RECALL
COME ON PEOPLE WE'RE GOING IN THE WRONG DIRECTION HERE
%
___________
/.---------.\`-._
// || `-._
|| `-._ || `-._
|| `-._ || `-._
|| _____ ||`-._ \
_..._ || | __ ! || `-._ |
_/ \|| .' |~~|| `-._ |
.-`` _.`|| / _|~~|| .----. `-._|
| _.` _|| | |23| || / :::: \ \
\ _.--` _.` || | |56| || / ::::: | |
| _.-` _.|| | |79| || | _..-' /
_\-` _.Ò || | |_ || |::| |
.` _.Ò `._|| \ | || |::| |
.-` _.` `._.' || '.__|--|| |::| \
`-._.-` \`-._ || | ": !|| | '-.._ |
\ `--._|| |_:"___|| | ::::: | |
\ /\ || ":":"|| \ :::: | |
\( `-.|| .- || `.___/ /
| | || _.- || |
| / \\.-________\\____.....-----'
\ -. \ | |
\ `. \ \ |
__________ `. .'\ \| |\ _________
LGB `..' \ | | \
\\ .' | / .`.
| \.' | |.' `-._
\ _ . / \_\-._____)
\_.-` .`'._____.'`.
\_\-| |
`._________.'
ARE THERE ANY GAY STALLS BEHIND THIS PHONE

BOOTH ??? JUST CHECKING !!!!!! BE SURE TO
DIAL 1-800-COLLECT !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
%
.-----. _.----"""""""----._
_.---//-"""-\\---._ .------.___ ( )
( (/ `-' ) ( ___|-|`"""---..___..---""|
_|`"--._________.--"'|_ `---'""" | |
(_| |_) | |
`--) (--' ________ | |
| | _.--""""" """"----._ |
| | (_ _)--.----------------.
| | \`""---...________...----'/__/___ ||
`-.__ __.-' \___ __/ ""-----"""""""-----`'
VK `""-----""' ""`-----------'""
SORRY THE WRITERS WERE ON STRIKE TODAY

%
.-. THANK GOD FOR PRESIDENT CLINTON !!! WHOSE ENDURING
/ / LEGACY IS THAT APPARENTLY EVERY SINGLE AMATEUR PORN
/. / PHOTOGRAPHER HAS TO HAVE A CIGAR SOMEWHERE IN THE
) /c\/ FUCKING FRAME
( /'\/
) / / PEOPLE WE GET IT ALREADY GIVE IT A REST
( / /
) / /
( /. /
.`.'.Pru
`'``
%
____
/ /' `\ \
\ ( )( ) /
\{~~~~~~~~}/
{ /\ }
{ } { }
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_| | | |_
\[ ] [ ]/
DADDY NO
%
aa aaa HERE'S A LITTLE DITTY I LIKE TO CALL

aaaaaaaa aa aaaa THE WORST FUCKING DRAWING EVER
p aaaaaaaa p aaaaaa CREATED BY A FUCKING RETARD
aa aa a::::aa
aa aaa a::::::a db db
aa aaaa aa::::::::aa a a,'~',
aa aaaa ::::::::::aa a \ a ) )'),
,aaaa aaaa ::::::::aa a ( ( ( ( (
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aa `` aa :::::: ,( ( ( m ',
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aa sssss ::::: aaa : ( ( )( , ;
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aaaaa sss ::ss aaaa ( )' (```
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aa ssss `` aaaap'~`~'q---',q __\\
Samwise aa sss ``` aaap ', q'(x) // ,'
aa p ' p // ~ /
aaa q // ,'.',
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DO YOU THINK I CAME ON TOO STRONG OR IS THAT GOOD

%
._ ,..., _.
:` ''''''' `:
:` `:
: :
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cjr ; ;
\ /
---------;;-----------)"`'-. .-'``-,' .'
::::::::(( ' " """"-'-._ -'` _.-'
"""""""""``"""""""""""""""""`'''''`
SO I'M AT THIS BEACH AND I'M SMOKING OUT ALL BY MYSELF AND SOME PEOPLE
SEE ME AND ONE OF THEM COMES OVER AND HE SAYS DUDE WE DON'T HAVE
ANYTHING TO SMOKE OUR WEED IN BUT WE SAW YOUR PIPE SO GIVE IT
I DID NOT WANT TO DO SO AND EXPRESSED THAT SENTIMENT AND THEN HE TOLD
ME THAT I WOULD BE FOLLOWING HIS ORDERS WITHOUT QUESTION
THEN A STRUGGLE ENSUED AND LONG STORY SHORT I'M IN THE PEN FOR
MANSLAUGHTER
I GUESS IF THERE'S ANY MORAL TO THIS STORY IS THAT IT IS COMPLETELY

MADE UP
%
/-----| IT'S THE ONE WHERE RUDY'S FRIEND PETER IS
\-' | SCARED TO GO SEE THE DENTIST WHO'S PLAYED
Q | BY DANNY KAYE
)C ~\/\ |
\\_ \ | NOT TO BE CONFUSED WITH "BUD" (KENNY)
\_77 |\ |
ejm 96 |`` \ \ | PETER IS THE FAT ONE
""" ~ ~ ===
%
THIS IS YOUR ONLINE GIRLFRIEND SPEAKING
I'M NOT VERY HAPPY ABOUT A NUMBER OF THINGS
I'M SO GLAD YOU'VE COME TO ME AT THIS POINT
IN MY LIFE, YOU ARE MY SAVIOR
I TOTALLY CAN'T WAIT TO MEET YOU BUT CAN'T

ACCEPT ANY INCOMING LONG-DISTANCE CALLS DUE
TO A DISCREPANCY WITH THE PHONE COMPANY
YOU DON'T THINK THAT MAKES SENSE HUH WELL HOW

ABOUT I HOLD OUT ON THE CYBER FOR 2 WEEKS ?????????
(BLOCKED)
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////| | \\
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/ \ / \
/ \/ \
/ \
| |
|| /\ ||
|| , . || dlK
%
,-'"`-. FOR THE LOVE OF MIKE WILL SOMEONE TELL ME
/ _ _\ WHAT THE FUCK I'M SUPPOSED TO BE
| (@(@|
\ / /
| `-/
/ |
/ \
,' `.
/ \
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| |
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%
I MISS GWEEDS
.-"""-.
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| (o_|_o) |
(, (___) ,)
| |
| .___. |
'. .'
_J'-._.-'L_
_.-' `-._dp
%
I'M IRAQ
/
/
.
tQn
%
I'M WATCHING THE OSAMA BIN LADEN DVD
WITH DELETED SCENES AND I HAVE A HARDON
___ //////
(__|_______--/| / ///
__/ +--+| |-\| (> )/
|_|ooo+--+|_| /_ /
`-------' |_, //
|___/
%
I'M SEARCHING FOR THE BIGGEST DICK IN THE WORLD
___.-----.______
___.-----'::::::::::::::::`---.___
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`\ )( /* `'`' /_______ _.'
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!| ` ~~~
%
--.
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/_.-' ( \ | |\ \
/, ` \ |_| \_\
ejm |`_ |`_ __'_)__.-'
HOORAY MY STEP-DAUGHTER FINALLY TURNED EIGHTEEN

%
_-^-_
_-','\ ~=_
_-' ,' `. `-_
!`-_.;_______:.-':::
! /\ /\:::: WOULD YOU LIKE TO READ
| / \ /..\::: SOME OF MY POETRY ????
! / \ /....\::
!/ \ /......\:
:--.___..\/_.__.--;;
`-_ `!;;;;;;;'
`-_ !;;;''
`-.!'
(=)
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\ | | /
\ | | /
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%
/~~~~~~~~~~~~\_ MY ANKLES SURE ARE SORE !!!!!

_+=+_ _[~ /~~~~~~~~~~~~\_
{""|""} [~~~ [~ /~~~~~~~~~\_ GET IT ?!?!?!?!?!?!?!
""":-'~[~[~"~[~ ((++ [~ _/~~~~~~~~\_
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-rm- <"_V_"> \\ \ ~~~~~~\\ \
\\ \ \\ \
<"_V_"> <"_V_">
%
\\\ ,
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) ( .-""-. HAPPY BIRTHDAY !!!!!!!!!!!
| | /_ { '.
| | (/ `\ } ) HERE'S YOUR FREE HOOKER
| | ^/ ^`} { (ONLY RECENTLY HIV+ SO
\ \ \= ( { ) SHE'S PROBABLY FAIRLY
\ \ '-, { {{ SAFE)
\ \_.' ) } )
\.-' ( (
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{ H A P P Y {
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</\> </\> </\> </\> </\>
%
FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK
\O
/)
,"< ,_________ ,
`-' |____/ \__)
\_/
dd
%
DID YOU KNOW THE AVERAGE COCK GETS SUCKED AT LEAST ONCE A DAY?
TELL YOUR FRIENDS THERE'S A NEW GUY IN TOWN WISEGUY
AND HE'S AVERAGING AROUND THREE BEFORE LUNCH
.-,.-'')
/ / ` /
(-' .' \ _...__
\ / `> )' `--.__
\ ,/ ) -._ `.
/ / _/ / `.)
\_/L/ \_(. . `-.
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._______ \\\ / _.\ _J.-----.=-' \
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\- \ __.\ / /
____.-.___ (`--^--)_\_-' \ ( __/`\
_(__.--.____/ \\ / \` _\. \_________/...::: ___
(_____----\_____ \\__. ___ \. \ -'--.____) _______
) ( _ _..\...:::|_____________________
|\\` .-----'.\\ (______________________
\._______.---:.__]___________________
__________________
%
, HOLD IT RIGHT THERE !!!!!
__ _.-"` `'-.
/||\'._ __{}_( A MURDER HAS BEEN COMMITTED AND THE GUILTY
|||| |'--.__\ PARTY IS STILL SOMEWHERE IN THIS ROOM
| L.( ^_\^
\ .-' | _ | NOBODY LEAVES UNTIL WE SOLVE THIS MYSTERY !!!!
| | )\___/
| \-'`:._] GHLAGLHAGLHGH EXCUSE FOR A COCKSUCKING PARTY
jgs \__/; '-.
%
.-''-. WHENEVER I DRINK LATE AT NIGHT AND WATCH
/ , \ SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE I FIND MYSELF STRONGLY
.-'`(o) ; DESIRING CHERI OTERI !!!!!
'-==. |
`._...-;-. CAN SOMEONE EXPLAIN THAT TO ME ???
)--""" `-.
/ . `-. ERR SORRY I MEAN "CHIRP"
/ / `. `-.
| \ ; \ `-._________
| \ `.`.; -------`.
\ `-. \\\\ `---...|
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`._\ / `-` `-.,'
/ /
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hjw ,^-(_
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%
THAT PONYTAIL IS *SO* SEPTEMBER TENTH DIRK
\
\ OH, BE NICE LANCE
\____ ___,
__\o___|__ __)____)__ /
/// =. -)- ))) /
_/ \_c/ \=_/ \__
/= \/ )_/=\
\ ^|\ __((_\_/\
)\ \___ __ /_/-\o____)
_\_\,__o/-\_\ \/ ))__|_
(x_\_:M \/ ,/:_/_s)
\ *\ \ / /o /
\ *\ \ / /o /
\,/ `) (' \,/
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,- <___( )___> -\
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b'ger [_,_(o \__ _/ o)_,_/
\_,___] [___,_/
%
MUMMENSCHANZ
___
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%
THE PROBLEM WITH KICKING A CHAO'S ASS
IS AN HOUR LATER YOU WANT TO DO IT AGAIN
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( .' (______________________)
) '; (~| . |~)
..''; \| oOo |/ cfbd
..'''.. '. | \|/ |
`.......'..' \____________________/
%
) COMPUTER
(
) TEA
_.-~(~-.
(@\`---'/. EARL GREY )
(' `._.' `) (
`-..___..-' COCKS )
.-.,--^--. _
\\| `---' |//
\| /
niki _\_______/_
%
I'M IRAQ !!!
/ I'M NORTH KOREA !!!

/
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___/__|__________________\_______\_________
ejm __)__)___/______/______/_____/___\___/__
WE ARE GOING TO SERIOUSLY TAKE YOUR LUNCH MONEY FOLKS!!

USA USA USA
%
SUCH A BEAUTIFUL PAIR OF LESBIANS
SHAME WHAT GOD DID TO THEIR BIG FLOPPY CUNTS
___ ___
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OKAY SO
I WAS CROSSING THE STREET AND THIS GUY WAS LIKE
"HEY YOU'RE CUTE"
AND I'M ALL
"GROSS DUDE"
AND HE'S ALL LIKE
"BITCH I'VE GOT A GUN GET IN THE CAR"
SO LIKE I TOTALLY DID ANAL FOR THE VERY FIRST TIME
SIGN MY GUESTBOOK
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/\
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_ / \ / \/\ AS THE SAGA UNFOLDED, FRODO CAME TO
/ \/ _ \ /\/\ _ _/\ TO BE KNOWN AS THE CRUISIEST HOBBIT
/ \_ / \/\_/\/_/ \/ \/ \ EVER IN THE HISTORY OF MIDDLE
/\/\ \_ / \/ \ EARTH
/ \___/\ / \ \
\ \ \ (THE PRIOR HOLDER OF THE TITLE
.-"---. \ \ WAS OF COURSE PIPPIN)
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/\ SOMETIMES I SITS AND THINKS
/ \
/\/\/\ BUT SOMETIMES I JUST SITS
/\ \/ /\
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\/\/\/
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%
/\ __ WE ARE CREATURES FROM PLANET X-23
\ .-':::. WE'RE HERE FOR THE CALIFORNIA CHEESE
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WOULD YOU LIKE A HAND OUTSIDE WITH YOUR GROCERIES?
YEAH I KNOW I'M A LITTLE OLD TO BE DOING THIS BUT

I PROMISE NO AIDS WILL BE GOING FROM MY BODY TO YOURS
NOT EVEN A LITTLE
PINKY SWEAR
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I FANCY THE BLOKES
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||||| I'M THAT FAT Q.A. CHICK WHO SPENDS ALL HER TIME
||O O|`____. TALKING TO HER COWORKERS IN AN ATTEMPT TO SHOW
|||\-/|| \ __\ THAT I'M REALLY JUST "ONE OF THE GUYS" AND NOT
|.--:--| . : A USELESS INCOMPETENT TWAT
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(~m : / | oo:| OH EXCUSE ME I MEANT Q.*E*.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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OKAY WHERE DO YOU WANT ME TO PUT
THIS LARGE RATHER SUGGESTIVE BUT
COMPLETELY INNOCUOUS REAM OF PAPER
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DUDE YOUR MINDS ARE SO IN THE GUTTER

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DUMB IN THE TITS DYKE
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YOU'VE STOLEN THE KEYLESS ENTRY BUTTON FOR MY ASSHOLE
AND YOU'RE WORKING ME LIKE A GOD-DAMNED WIND TUNNEL
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TAKE ME TO YOUR LEADER
FUCKFACE
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ASCII ART HAS BEEN AROUND SINCE THE FIRST TYPEWRITER AND IT'S
TOTALLY VALID AND COOL
OR I'M JUST A FAT FUCKING COCKSOCKET WITH NO FRIENDS AND BAD TASTE
TAKE YOUR PICK
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_____
MMMMM CAN'T GET ENOUGH OF THAT ((( `\
DICK !!!!! MMMM I'M A USELESS , ,`\ )
WHORE LIKE ALL THE OTHERS !!!!! (^ ) )
MMMMM CAN'T GET ENOUGH OF IT !!! ~-( )
_'((,,,)))
ONE DAY I WILL MARRY ME A GOOD ,-' \_/ `\
HUSBAND AND NEVER HAVE TO WORK ( , |
AGAIN !!!! AND BY WORK I MEAN `-.-'`-.-'/|_|
BE A RECEPTIONIST OR WAITRESS \ / | |
OR PERHAPS A MEDIOCRE PROSTITUTE =()=: / ,' ua
HOLY JESUS IS IT ANY WONDER WE BLEED

ONCE A MONTH !?!?!? HELLO ?!?!? IT'S PUNISHMENT FROM GOD
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DELICIOUS URINE, MY FAVORITE SNACK!!!

MMM SLURP MY WORTHLESS SWEDISH ASS GROWING
%
I COME FROM A COUNTRY THAT STAYS
NEUTRAL IN ALL WARS, HAS RIDICULOUSLY
HIGH TAXES, AND PRODUCES NOTHING BUT
A LONG STREAM OF FUCKING TALENTLESS
CUNTS !!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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IN SOVIET RUSSIA ASCII ART DRAWS *YOU*

%
FUCKING DIE ALREADY
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/n n\ /\ I COME FROM THE LAND DOWN UNDER
|/^\| / \ WHERE WOMEN GLOW AND MEN PLUNDER
| , | ^||^
\_/ || CAN YOU HEAR CAN YOU HEAR THAT THUNDER
_U_ || YOU BETTER RUN YOU BETTER TAKE COVER
/` `''-----'P3
/ |. .|''-----"||
\'| | || THAT'S RIGHT FOLKS I'M SUCH AN ORIGINAL
\| | || AUSSIE FUCKWAD I COULDN'T EVEN COME UP
E | || WITH ANYTHING BETTER TO INCLUDE THAN
/#####\ || MEN AT WORK LYRICS !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
/#####\ ||
||| || P.S. DEEP SPACE NINE AND "THE THONG
||| || SONG" BOTH FUCKING SUCK
||| ||
||| gem ||
molom Ll
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HOW DO YOU SPELL ONE EIGHT SEVEN
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\___\/__\ ___________\ OH RIGHT THAT CITIZENSHIP CLAUSE
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/ . \ COULD I NEVER SEE ANOTHER
/ | \ PICTURE OF RONBO AGAIN ????
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/ _/----\_ \ THANKS !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1
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LOOK EVERYBODY
IT'S A WHORE IN A BOX

%
...____
_.-' `-._ I'M A GIVE-YOU-HEADASAUR
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\ `. : `---' `--'
: :
lgb/MJP
%
.-.
_.--"""".o/ .-.-._
__' ."""; { _J ,__ `. YOU'RE REALLY GIVING
; o\.-.`._.'J; ; / `- / ; A WHOLE NEW LEVEL OF
`--i`". `" .'; `._ __.' | MEANING TO THE TERM
\ `""" \ `; : "FISTICUFFS"
`."-. ; ____/ /
`-.` `-.-' `"-..' OWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOW
___ `;__.-'" `. WOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWO
.-{_ `--._ /.-" `-.
/ ""T ""---...' _.-"" """-. `.
; / __.-"". `. `, _..
\ / __.-"" '. \ `.,__ .'L' }
`---"`-.__ __." .-. j `. : `. .' ,' /
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\ _; \ _.' `-. /
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_/ ; `"
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;-.____.'`.
fsc `. \ '. :
\ : : /
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%
.@@@@@.
/ \ I AM BOTH TERRIFIED AND TERRIBLY,
/ 6 6 \ TERRIBLY AROUSED
( ^ ,)
\ c /-._
`._____.' `--.__
\ / `/``"""'-.
Y 7 / :
| / | .--. :
/ /__ \/ `.__.:.____.-.
/ / / `"""`/ .-"..____.-. \
jgs _.-' /_/ ( \-. \
`=----' `----------'""`-. \ `"
`"
%
_ _
( \ / )
__\ Y /,-')
(__ .-'
| (
[___] OKAY SO WAIT
|oo | IF THE GROOVE IS NOT IN THE HEART
,' \ | THEN WHERE EXACTLY IS IT (THE GROOVE) ???
<___/ |
| | SIR ???
| |
| | I KNOW YOU CAN HEAR ME
| |
_,-/_._ \,_
_.-"^` // \ `^"-.,__
\ ,// \ /
`\,-":; ; \-.,_/'
|| | ;
|| ; |
:\ / ;
\`----' /
`._____.-'
| | |
__| | |__
jgs / | \
`""""`""""`
%
.=@=.
/ \
| ^.^ |
( (_) )
.-'---'-.
/ . . \
_/ /| , |\ \_
(__/{`"==="`}\__)
/\_ _/\
_| /`"`\ |_
jgs ( \ / \ / )
\_/ \_/
LOOK WE'VE BEEN THROUGH THIS !!!

IT JUST DOESN'T GO ANY WIDER, JERKFACE !!!
YOU'RE JUST GOING TO HAVE TO KEEP POKING AND SHOVING
%
_
jgs ./ | _________________
/ / / __________ //\_
/' / | (__________) ||.' `-.________________________
/ / | __________ ||`._.-'~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~`
/ \ \__(__________)__\\/
| `\
| | ___________________
| |___________________...-------'''- - - =- - = - = `.
/| | \- = = - -= - = - =- = - =|
( | | |= -= - = - = - = - =--= = - = =|
\| |___________________/- = - -= =_- =_-=_- -=_=-=_=_= -|
| | ```-------...___________________.'
|________|
\ / _
| | ,,,,,,, /=\
,-' `-, /\___________ (\\\\\\\||=|
| | \/~~~~~~~~~~~` ^^^^^^^ \=/
`--------' `
THIS HAMMER, SCREWDRIVER, NAIL, AND SCREW WOULD LIKE TO EXTEND THEIR
HEARTFELT SORROW TO THE CREW AND FAMILIES OF THE COLUMBIA SPACE
SHUTTLE
IF WE MAY TAKE THIS MOMENT TO EXAMINE THE CURRENT MANNED SPACEFLIGHT

DEATH SCORECARD:
USA: 17
FORMER SOVIET UNION: HUNDREDS
CHINA: HUNDREDS
SO HOW ABOUT FUCK YOU AND LET'S KEEP GOING HERE PEOPLE
%
.=~~~~~~~=.
{:.. }
\::._:._.:. /
`~| O |~`
.'`~~~~~~~`'.
/ o o \
: )(_)( ;
\ '.___.' /
`.,__`=' _,.'
jgs /__\V/__\
/\\
/ / \
\/`\/
I KEEP A DIARY YOU KNOW !!! EVERY NIGHT

BEFORE BED I WRITE AN ENTRY DETAILING
EACH OF MY GOLD BOX OFFERS !!! THIS WAY
I'LL NEVER EVER FORGET
%
___________________________________
|.-.--.--.--.--.--.--.--.--.--.--.-.| I LOVED THAT MOVIE WITH THE
||(_)(_)(_)(_)(_)(_)(_)(_)(_)(_)(_)|| TWIN PEAKS GUY WHO WAS ALSO
||(_)(_)(_)(_)(_)(_)(_)(_)(_)(_)(_)|| IN THE HIDDEN WHERE HE WAS
||_|__|__|__|__|__|__|__|__|__|__|_|| INHABITED BY AN ALIEN ????
[_>_______________________________<_]
||"|""|""|""|""|""|""|""|""|""|""|"|| NOT THE BAD ALIEN THE GOOD
|| | | | | | | | | | | | || ONE AND ALSO IVANOVA FROM
||(_)(_)(_)(_)(_)(_)(_)(_)(_)(_)(_)|| BABYLON 5 PLAYED A HOOKER
||(_)(_)(_)(_)(_)(_)(_)(_)(_)(_)(_)|| (WHAT A NATURAL ROLE THAT
||(_)(_)(_)(_)(_)(_)(_)(_)(_)(_)(_)|| WAS)
||(_)(_)(_)(_)(_)(_)(_)(_)(_)(_)(_)||
||(_)(_)(_)(_)(_)(_)(_)(_)(_)(_)(_)|| ANYWAY THAT FIRST MOVIE WAS
||(_)(_)(_)(_)(_)(_)(_)(_)(_)(_)(_)|| GREAT BECAUSE IT TAUGHT US
|'-'--'--'--'--'--'--'--'--'--'--'-'| ALL A VALUABLE LESSON ABOUT
jgs `"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""` OUR INHERENT DEPENDENCE ON
TECHNOLOGY AND IF IT WERE
TO FAIL ON US AT ANY TIME WE'D RAPIDLY DEGENERATE INTO CHAOS AND
ANARCHY AND HOW THE TITLE WAS ACTUALLY INSPIRED BY THE FIRST
CONNECTIONS EPISODE WHERE JAMES BURKE TALKED ABOUT THE FAILURE OF
A SWITCH THAT CAUSED A BLACKOUT IN THE 1970S AND NOBODY REALLY
REALIZED THE ENORMITY OF THE SITUATION
AND IN THE MOVIE THE WHOLE WHILE WE NEVER FOUND OUT WHAT THE CAUSE
OF THE POWER FAILURE WAS BUT THROUGHOUT THE MOVIE WE SEE IMAGES
OF NUCLEAR POWER PLANTS SYMBOLIZING SIMULTANEOUSLY THE TREMENDOUS
POWER OF MODERN TECHNOLOGY AS WELL AS ITS TOTAL IMPOTENCE
OH FUCK I THOUGHT YOU SAID "THE TRIGGER EFFECT"

%
__ /\ I AM A CREATURE THAT WAS
< `, - - . NEVER INTENDED TO BE
__`/ _ _ \
.' / / v \ \ DESTROY ME FOR I AM
` -| | | | ' AN ABERRATION
<_`| \,`./ `
> ---==-- AND AN INSULT TO GOD
| | (_) /
\` / _ _\
\`.__(_ )____/__) pm
%
I'M COLLECTING THE DUMB TAX
/
/
,---')
( -_-(
) .__/ )
_/ _/_( / _.---._
(__/ _ _) ,-._ / o \
//)__(\/,-` |_| O o o O|
_\\///==o=\' |O o o O |
`-' \ / \O o o/
)___\ `'-.-\\
/ ,\ \ ____)_(____
/ / \ \ '--..---,,--'
/() >() \\_//
gnv |\_\ |\_\ /,-.\
%
\\\ NFL / NFL / NFL
(oO)
/C \ EVIDENTLY THERE WAS SOME SORT OF VERY LARGE MAJOR LEAGUE
/__/\\ FOOTBALL INCIDENT RECENTLY ALMOST LIKE THE WORLD SERIES
\\__// OF FOOTBALL IF YOU WILL
__> U<__
_\/_ MY MONEY'S ON THE KNICKERBOCKERS
%
_____,,,\//,,\\,/,
/-- --- --- -----
///--- --- -- - ----
o////- ---- --- --
!!//o/--- -- --
o*) !///,~,,\\,\/,,/,//,,
o!*!o'(\ /\
| ! o ",) \/\ /\ / \/\
o !o! !!| \/ \/ /
( * ( o!'; |\ ` /
o o ! * !` | \ , \
o | o 'o| | : ` /
* o !*!': |[| , /
(o''| `| : , /
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( ('| '\ `--------/
!*!' '`---------/
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////\\\,,\///,,,,\,/oO._* o !*!' ' \
---- -- ------- - -oO*OoOo (o''| ' /
-------- ------ 'oO*OoO!*|'o!! ' \
------- -- - ---- --* oO*OoO *!'| ' ' /
--- - ----- ---- - oO*OoO!!':o!' /
- - ----- - -- - *--oO*OoOo!`_________/
\\\\\,,,\\,//////,\,,\\\/,,,\,,ejm/AMC
THIS SCENE IS TRULY MURTURVITURGICAL

%
,.,. PERSONALLY I THINK STEVEN SPIELBERG'S A.I. AS
((((^)) A MOVIE WAS TOO SHORT
d e_# b
\._./ MAYBE THEY COULD HAVE AN EXTRA PORTION GRAFTED
,---i`-'i---. ON THAT MADE THE MOVIE GO ON LONGER EVEN THOUGH
/ | `-' | \ THERE WERE AT LEAST THREE DISTINCT POINTS WHERE
|__| |__| IT SHOULD HAVE ENDED IN THE ORIGINAL FORUMULATION
\ | | |
\ \______ | | OKAY IT'S DONE WAIT NO
\/ ) \|| \
|- | |'//\ OKAY IT'S DONE WAIT NO WHAT THE FUCK
|___|___|
| | | OKAY IT'S DONE WAIT NO WHO THE FUCK IS RESPONSIBLE
( | ) FOR THIS
{_ |__|
(__|__} OKAY IT'S DONE (BURNING DVD, RETURNING IT TO
_>= | =<_ BLOCKBUSTER ANYWAY AS PROTEST)
hjw (__._|_.__)
%
+--------------------------------------------------------------+
| $* *8* |
| 88 $* "*8" . |
| 88 88 $* *8* 8 *, |
| 88 88 88 "*8 * "*8* |
| 88 88 88 *8 * "*8 * , |
| *$ 88 88 " *8" . "*8* |
| *$ 88 .-888-. 8 * , |
| *$ .888red888. "*8* |
| ,888888.*;;*. |
| 888888*;;;;;` |
| 888888*;;;;;j |
| `*00*";;;;;.' |
| *8* `;;;blue;;' $* |
| "*8 * `-;;;-' 88 $* |
| *8* "*8 *, "* 88 $* |
| "*8" . "*8* *. "* 88 |
| *8 * 8 * , 88 *. "* |
| " *8 * "*8* *$ 88 *. |
| "*8 * , *$ 88 |
| "*8* *$ leejj |
+--------------------------------------------------------------+
I HAVE PINKEYE
%
COME ON SWEETY PLEASE COME BACK
I LOVE YOU MORE THAN THE STARS ABOVE
I WILL MAKE YOU BREAKFAST LUNCH AND DINNER
YOU CAN LIVE YOUR LIFE ENTIRELY NAKED IN BED I WILL
TAKE CARE OF EVERYTHING!!!
I KNOW MY PENIS IS SIGNIFICANTLY SMALLER THAN YOUR LAST
BOYFRIEND'S BUT I DO HAVE THAT LOVELY PIERCING!!!
WHAT'S THIS A RESTRAINING ORDER
200 FEET??? YOU FLIRT!!!
_.-.
.-.' ; ;
.' ; / /
_.' / / /
.-"/ / / /
/.-( .----,/
\ )( :
bug ; :\(""TP"T
__ / : ` ._-: _
.' ""y : ___:_ __ )l
/ / : `. " `y\ / :_____
: _.._/ : ; `./ /.: `.--.--'
.^" .: :"-. / \/ l :--/
`..-" ; : """ \ / -;-'
\ : .' ; :
\ .' / ;
:.__.' / :
: /\ ;
; / \ /
: .' `. .'
\ ( '
`. \
`. ;
`. ;
)--....--' "-.
.-" `.
.-" ____ `.
`. _,--"" ""--. `.
`. \ "-. \
l--""7 :--""7
.--"""T "T""`--.
/ __ | | __ \
%
_,---.
(/_/)))) _____ I REALIZE WHEN I'M RAPED WITH A SPATULA
\c e_e) . I'M AS MUCH TO BLAME FOR THE EVENT AS
\ = ) _| THE SPATULA
,-` -(_ |o|
/ `-'\\ |#{)
/__| ._ _)y /
< \ (\_/
`.\ ____\
,>>> |
.==T=T==.__|
| | /
| |\
|_______| \
/ /\ \
/ ,' `. \
/ / \ \
<\_\_ \ \
`---` (_`-\_
`---' hjw
%
( ).---.( ) I HAVE A SURPRISE FOR YOU !!!
./.="'"=.\. NO IT'S NOT RAPE AGAIN !!
|=. .=| WHAT DO YOU TAKE ME FOR ???
|_ 0 0 _|
.` .---. '. HA HA I'M LYING, IT'S TOTALLY RAPE
: `---' :
`._ '---' _.'
_:-----:._
/={ }=_\
/_.{ }-_=\
|=|{ }=|-|
|=|{ }-|=|
\|{ }_|/
|{ } |
|{ }=|
|{ } =\
|`. .'=|`\
jgs |_=`|'`=_|`\`\ .'`.
__|_=_|=___| `\`\_/./`'
(((__(((_____) `.__/
%
,====,,'''',,, _____________________________________
_______||__||_______ ''', /' |
| | |y.a.s.| | | ; /' Name: ______ABUDLLA_J._BADGUY______ |
| | | | | | ; / o |
| | | ___|_|__ | '''\ Address: ____SOME_CROWDED_AREA_____ |
| | | |ISRAEL| | `\ |
| | | """|"|"" | `\.____________________________________|
|dcau|_|______|_|____|
%
_
/;:`.
______ _,-'._,'
_,--''' `'-._,-'_,-' `'
,' ` - .,_ __,-' ),-'
( __|-`' . _,'/ PLEASE REFER TO ME AS THE "RENEGADE
`--...'___,..--' / GAMER" OR "RENEGAMER" IN THE FAMILIAR
/ _/,-'_,-'
(`---'' _,-' |_,-
`----''|_,--'
jrei -' _,-'
%
_
| |
| | I'M A HOMOGNOMON
| |
| |
| |
| |
| |
| |
| |
| |
| |
| |
| |
| | tQn
___| |___
/ |_| \
\_________/
%
TRY JERKING OFF WITH ME ON JUST ONCE
JUST TO SEE WHAT IT FEELS LIKE
COME ON, YOU KNOW YOU WANT TO TRY IT
FILL ME WITH YOUR PROTEIN ALREADY
_
_| |_
/~ ~\
/' `\
( )
| (o ) (o ) |
| |
| \_ _/ |
| ~~~ |
| |
| |
| |
| |
| |
| |
_| |_
(~\_ _/~)
`\_ ~~-------~~ _/'
Ts97 ~~---------~~
%
/
//
||
\ \ \
\ \ /\
\ \ /
\ \ /
\ \ /
\ \/
\ \
/\ \
/ \ \
/ \ \
/ \ \
/ \ \
/ \ \
/ \ \
/ \ \
| \ \ \
\_____/| ||
\ejm_/ //
/
IF I HAD A SUBSCRIPTED ZERO I WOULD BE

ALL MATHY AND REPRESENT A TRANSFINITE
CARDINAL !!!! BUT WITHOUT IT I AM JUST
ANOTHER JEWISH LETTER (SUCH AS YOU MIGHT
FIND ON A DREIDEL OR IN A JEWISH
NEWSPAPER)
%
/\ AS PART OF A VAST WORLD-WIDE CONSPIRACY
hjm / \ I COMMAND THEE: BEAT OFF UNTO ME
/,--.\
/< () >\ IF I SAY "FNORD" AT THE END OF A SENTENCE
/ `--' \ DOES THAT MAKE ME REALLY FUNNY OR SOMEONE
/ \ WHO NEEDS TO GET FUCKING BEATEN TO NEAR
/ \ DEATH AND THEN RAPED WITH A BROOM
/______________\
AS YOU CAN SEE THAT'S REALLY TWO JOKES IN ONE
SO YOU REALLY GET YOUR MONEY'S WORTH HERE
%
_"_ % DEAR LADIES OF THE WORLD
(< ?
` " LISTEN TO ME VERY CAREFULLY
__||___
|\___//_\ IF YOU SPELL "WOMEN" WITH A Y ONE MORE TIME:
(' | ') \\
__|\ , / |/ ELECTRIC CHAIR
/: / \ ::
\| ######o /|
######## \)
########
\ : /
\: /
--
%%%
%%
%
/:\
|/|, b'ger
%
_____
, ___)) AS A HOOKER I PREFER TO GET PUNCHED
/ | 6 6 IN THE FACE WITH ROLLS OF DIMES
(___( _e RATHER THAN QUARTERS
____/ /_
/ \ o\_/ \ DUE TO THEM BEING SMALLER AND ALL THINGS
/ /\' _ _)\ CONSIDERED LESS PAINFUL TO BE BEATEN WITH
/_< )____/\_\
___oo' ,ooooo,|_/ I'LL STIPULATE TO THE APPROPRIATENESS
-//,-( / |=/ OF THE BEATINGS BUT THE SEVERITY IS A
| \ \ WHOLE DIFFERENT MATTER
\ \
)_______\ WELL I GUESS WHEN ALL IS SAID AND DONE
/ ) / ) IT'S A JUDGEMENT CALL
/ / ( |
| / \ | OWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOOWW
_________ |/_______\|________.
= =
/( )\ b'ger
/,/ 7 \\_
%
_____ _ _____ ____ /_ /,
| ,-, ) /'_`\ |_ _| | __| \ \>
| `-'< | (_) | | | | _| ) )__ ,_
|_|`\_\ \___/ |_| |_| (_.-'_)__$
;-''
THIS IS THE MOST FRIGHTENING ACRONYM

EVER CONSTRUCTED IN HUMAN HISTORY
%
NO NO IT JUST DOESN'T ADD UP
THE DIAMETER OF MY ANUS REALLY
SHOULD BE WIDER THAN BOTH YOUR FISTS
ADD THE NUMBERS AGAIN EGGHEAD

I SIMPLY MUST FIND A WAY TO PROVE THIS
ADMISSION: $2.95
_____________________
| _________________ |
| | / | |
| | /\ / | |
| | /\ / \ / | |
| | / \/ \/ | |
| |/ JO | |
| |_________________| |
| __ __ __ __ __ __ |
| |__|__|__|__|__|__| |
| |__|__|__|__|__|__| |
| |__|__|__|__|__|__| |
| |__|__|__|__|__|__| |
| |__|__|__|__|__|__| |
| |__|__|__|__|__|__| |
| ___ ___ ___ ___ |
| | 7 | 8 | 9 | | + | |
| |___|___|___| |___| |
| | 4 | 5 | 6 | | - | |
| |___|___|___| |___| |
| | 1 | 2 | 3 | | x | |
| |___|___|___| |___| |
| | . | 0 | = | | / | |
| |___|___|___| |___| |
|_____________________|
%
, , I CAN'T BEAT OFF LEGALLY
/(.-""-.)\
|\ \/ \/ /| I WOULD HIRE A LAWYER OR PERHAPS A
| \ / =. .= \ / | SPECIAL INTEREST GROUP TO LOBBY ON
\( \ o\/o / )/ MY BEHALF BUT I REALLY THINK IT'S A
\_, '-/ \-' ,_/ POINTLESS EXERCISE AT THIS POINT
/ \__/ \
\ \__/\__/ / IT'S CLEAR SCALIA'S AGAINST ME SO
___\ \|--|/ /___ THE SUPREME COURT WOULD NEVER
/` \ / `\ OVERTURN IT
jgs / '----' \
%
_
| | _ ROCK ON !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
| | | | YEAH !!!!!!!!! METAL RULES !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
| | _ _ | |
| || || || | I'M 30 AND LIVE IN MY MOM'S BASEMENT AND
| || || || | WORK AT THE GROCERY STORE AND/OR GAS
| || _| || | STATION
| |/ /_|| |
| /()/ |
|/ / \ |
\ \ /
---------- Adam
%
I GIVE REALLY
GOOD BACKRUBS _____
.() .'() ( .--.)
\ .---. / / / .' /.) '
\ .' )/ /-/ / .'() ((/>
\ .' .---.( / (`./ .' </)\/>
.' (-./ \\\_// .' _____ </\ \/>
,-._. / <\// \`--\_/\ .' `-._ <,. \/>
,,== \> \/ .'.-' <\// \ | `---\ `--. `-._/>_/>/> )
`(__/ ( |-<____<\/ .-')-+'``'`'`\ `. _ __ __ _ \
\.-<\ )--------)/ / ///--\ )-' \> \> \>`'
/ )/ // /'`-----' `-. (___ `-._ _
,( </ (/ / \____ ) /`-._ `' )
' //' ) /`--' `-. (
,. (, ,.__/ ( ,_> )
/ ||-- \ / | ---\` goodwin //---'
%
, ,
/////| NAHEO / DON'T LOSE YOUR INDIAN
///// | NAHEO / THAT'S WHAT HE SAID
///// |
|~~~| | |
|===| |/|
| B |/| |
| I | | |
| B | | |
| L | /
| E | /
|===|/
jgs '---'
%
I'M HERE TO AUDITION FOR THE PART OF
BUKKAKE VICTIM NUMBER ONE
NO I DIDN'T BRING MY OWN TOOTHBRUSH SORRY
FROWNY FACE
I'LL JUST CONCENTRATE MAINLY ON PASTING MY
EYES SHUT IF IT'S NOT TOO MUCH TROUBLE SIRS
,-\';__.
./ ( _\)_\\
// )(e (e( )
( ` ( > //
__\__/' __=/`\
/' ` ~/ ) )
| _ ,(_,_/
/ /\ o ) o)\
/ , \` - - \___
__/ /___\ |\____, \____________
__\ \_ __\ c '_____). \____ ______|
___ò=._ / _.-'\____ '\/_________|
/ | /_.-' _.-') ''' '
-.-/_ |___.-'_/ | |
(_\_r \ | |
q_| ` | |
||\ ' ' |
Ì \ | |
\ \ | '
) ' / / |
/ / / |
' , / / |
___________| / /_____________.____
b'ger______| / /___________________|_
Stef_______/(`(______________________|
/ | \ .
.. | ,`._\
'-'
%
COME / COME TO JAMAICA
/
_
/\----_---
/ \\
/ \
| \_
\___-_ /
\ /
| |
| //|
( ||/
\__/
%
I LOVE THE SMELL OF MY DAUGHTER'S PANTIES IN THE MORNING
_____ _____
// _/__ // _/__
// // / // // /
// // / // // /
// // / // // /
// // / // // /
/| _// / /| _// /
/ // / / / // / /
___J_C_ /__/________________________________J_C_ /__/_________
-----/ C__C% % % %\ /% % % % % / C__C----------
/_// / /% % % % %\ /% % % % % / / /
/||/__/% % % % % %\ /% % % % % %|/__/|
/%|%_%_%_% % % % % %\ /% % % % % %_%_%_%|
\_|/ (% % % % % %\ /% % % % % %) \|
| (% % % % % %\ /% % % % % %) |
| (% % % % % %\ /% % % % % %) |
\ (% % % % % %\ /% % % % % %) /
| (% % % % % %\/% % % % % %) |
\ (% % % % % %% % % % % %) /
| (% % % % % % % % % %) |
\ (% % % % %% % % % %) /
| (% % % % % % % %) |
\ (% % % %% % % %) /
\ |- - - - - - | /
`\.____/______________\____./'vk
%
---. .---
'. .'
'.'
/
/
/
/ YOU DON'T REALLY WANT TO HEAR MY THOUGHTS ON
/ GLOBAL WARMING OR WORLD PEACE DO YOU ????
/
/ YOU JUST WANT ME TO MOW YOUR LAWN !!!!!!
/
.'. YOU ANIMALS
.' \
.' | /
.' \ /
..--/_________|.--.
// '----------'// \\
||'=:='=:='=:='||()||
\\_'--''--''--'\\__//
`--' LGB `--`
%
FUCK
".----'`v'`----."
\`----._.----'/
`.--.___.--.' hjw
`-.___.-'
%
COME ON YOU PANSIES I WANNA GO KILL ME SOME GOD DAMNED IRAQIS
__o__
/\ | /\ ,__, \
/__\|/__\o/o / / ,
__(\ , , | `7 / \_ /)
_.-' \\ _)\_/) | __||___, <----)_)---<< //
,-' _.---'\\ (/ (6\> |___// /_ /_\ ,_,_, / )\ //
,'_.--' \\ /` _ /\>/._\/\/__/\ | =/= / / / \_ //
\\ / ,_//\ \>' , / ,/ / ) `0 / / /,__, \ //
\\ \_('o | )> _)\_/) |\/ __\\_/ /o/o /- //
, ,\\ `7 / / (/ (0\> , _/,/ /_'/ \j / o<\>>o
_)\_/) \\,__\\_\' /` _ /\>_)\_/)|_|_/ __//___,____/_\
(/ (9\> \\_) | / / ,_//\ (/ (6\> )_/_// /_ /__\_/_/
/` _ /\> /\\\/_/ '\_(' | /` _ /\>/._\/\/__/
/ ,_//\ \>' \_)/ \_| _/// ,_//\ \> _)_/
\_(' | )> x / _/ / _/ \\_('\|| )> x)_::\ ______,
/ \>_//( ( / /--.,/ +/ \>__// o /----.,/( )\\))
\' \| ) \| / / / ' \' \| )___/ \ \/ \\\\\
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/ ' \ _/,/ _ / _/ / _// ' \_\, ___ /
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/ _/ / _/ ^-' | | \| / / / _/ / _/ )\| | _/
( ( / / /_/ \_ \_\/ / ( ( / / /_/ \_ \_(__
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%
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' : / / / \|
: : | // / \
/ . | // / \ MAYBE IF I STARVE MYSELF
: : / /_// _.-----._____ |/ I'LL FINALLY BE HAPPY
: ' // //__ ./ |||
: : // /.-\ / ||/ /
. : / \ .. . . /||: /
: : \_` .--.` _-/ |/| /
| : | - `.Q) (o/ / : /
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%
THIS IS MY FIRST DRAWING EVER !!!!!
_____
| |
| | ~
|_____|/
~~~~~~~~~
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: @ @ :
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____|---|____
/ \\\___/// \
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| || \// || |
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| . |
| |
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| | |
| ~ | ~ |
| | |
#########
/---------\
:___________:
/ ,, ,, \
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|__ ~ __|
|__|____8____|__|
|____|____|____||
|_|___|____|____|
|___|___|___|___|
___|____|___|___|__|___
_|___|_____|____|___|____|_
_|+++++++++++++++++++++++++++|_
|===============================|
|________________________RCR____|
YOU DON'T SAY

%
,
//\
/ | ;
| /_| I GROW TIRED OF
.-"` `"-. EATING BAT GUANO
/` `\
/ \ /
.-.,_| .-""""-. | /
| `",_,-' (((-. '( /
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%
_,._ I HIDE MY PORNOGRAPH
,' ,`-. IN HERE
/ |\ `.
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\|\,' `\ /' `\
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___________________ `,_/`, /\,`-.__/`.
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|___|_|___________|_|___.-' ) `(_ / _,.-' ,-' _,/
`-------' `--'' `'''
%
,%/7\\` I HAVE CHRONIC FATIGUE SYNDROME !!!
(/// .\\) OTHERWISE KNOWN AS FUCKING LAZINESS !!!!
(((( - )))
((|)_*_/((( ANYWAY BUY ME JEWELRY
))(/) (\((|)
((((\___/))(\
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( ( ( _ _ ) ) )
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y /
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(__,-%_/
%
.--------------------------------.
\\__/\__/\__/\__/\__/\__/\__/\__/\\
\\ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \\
\\\___\___\___\___\___\___\___\___\\
\\\__/\__/\__/\__/\__/\__/\__/\__/\\
\\\ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \\
\\\___^___^___^___^___^___^___^___\\
\`--------------------------------'
\______________________________/
VK
I'M CONVINCED LUNAR ORBIT RENDEZVOUS
IS THE RIGHT WAY TO GET TO THE MOON
%
___. THE DAY WHEN I FOUND SOME CONNECTIONS
// \\ WAS THE DAY THE UNIVERSE CHANGED
(( '' (ALTHOUGH I SHOULD POINT OUT IT WAS AFTER THE WARMING)
\\__,
/6 (%)\,
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\_\ | | || | valkyrie
\Z | | || |
L_| LL_|
LW/ LLW/
%
_ WELP !!!!!!
_-' "'-,
_-' | d$$b | MY WIFE DIED UNDER A SUSPICIOUS
_-' | $$$$ | FIREARMS CLEANING ACCIDENT !!!!
_-' | Y$$P |
_-'| | | AGAIN !!!!!
_-' _* | |
_-' |_-" __--''\ / AT LEAST THE JURY FAILED TO
_-' __--' __*--' INDICT THIS TIME !!!
-' __-'' __--*__-"`
| _--'' __--*"__-'` TIME TO BREAK OUT THAT FIREARMS
|_--" .--=`"__-||" SAFETY CERTIFICATE AND GET ME
| | |\\ || A NEW WIFE
| .dUU | | \\ //
| UUUU | _|___//
| UUUU | |
| UUUU | | [Matzec]
| UUUU | |
| UUUU | |
| UUUU | |
| UUP' | |
| ___^-"`
""'
%
w w w w 0 w w w w
______A______
| |
0=| @ @ |=0
| /\ |
| ~~ | \//
|______O______| | |
~~~~~~~~ |
~~~~~~~~~~
HUHHHHHHHHHHH
I'M A HANDJOB ROBOT
WANT ME TO JERK YOU OFF ????
YES MASTER GHLAGHLGAHLGAHLAGG
YOU FILTHY FUCKING PRICK YEAH
YOU LIKE THIS DON'T YOU
YOU LITTLE WHORE
MMMMM YEAH TAKE THAT
I WAS PROGRAMMED TO SAY THIS
DON'T HOLD IT AGAINST ME
OOOOH BOY JERKIN' YOU OFF
MY NAME IS KIRARA AND I'M ARGUABLY

CREEPIER EVEN THAN TRAN
%
.-" "-.
.-" "-.
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"-."-. .-".-"
"-."-. .-".-"
"-."-. .-".-"
"-."-. .-".-"
"-."-.__.-".-" GP
"-.__.-"
CLEARLY I SHOULD BE ON THE LEFT SIDE OF YOUR COMPUTER

SO YOU CAN BEAT OFF WITH YOUR RIGHT HAND
BECAUSE RIGHTIES ARE THE ONES CHOSEN BY GOD
THE LEFTIES WILL BE UP AGAINST THE WALL WHEN THE REVOLUTION COMES
%
DUDE AWP SUCKS !!!!!!! AWP WHORE !!!!!!!!!!!
BET YOU CAN'T USE ANYTHING ELSE !!!!!!!!!!!
YOU SUCK !!!!!!!!!!!!!!
_
B46B13B6B7B82 _-' "'-,
_-' | d$$b |
_-' | $$$$ |
_-' | Y$$P |
_-'| | |
_-' _* | |
_-' |_-" __--''\ /
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| UUUU | |
| UUUU | | [Matzec]
| UUUU | |
| UUUU | |
| UUUU | |
| UUP' | |
| ___^-"`
""'
%
HEY LOOK! IT'S ELIZABETH SMART CIRCA XMAS 2002
LET'S FACE IT PEOPLE THAT LITTLE DYKE WAS ASKING FOR IT
, ____
~(__ \.
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( _________ \ `. |_| / _________ )
( _________ ò-___________-`-.-'-_____________-o' _________ )
( _________ `-----------(.v(.)-------------' _________ )
\____________________ `- -' ______________________/
\___________________'\ * /`_____________________/
______: . :
/ _____ / )
: / /' /'
: l / /
:) ( :---._
..// `--------O\..
%
THIS CRACK COCAINE SURE HELPS ME SEE FAR
(
))
((
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(( MJP
)
I CAN SEE INTO YOUR FUTURE

YOU'RE A FUCKING FAGGOT
%
LARA CROFT DIE ALREADY
YOU'RE DEAD, YOU HEAR ME??? DEAD!!!
AND THE VIDEO OF ME BEATING OFF TO THE FIRST GAME HAS BEEN
SADLY IMMORTALIZED THROUGH THE POWER OF P2P FILE-SHARING
DAMMIT I HATE YOU DAD

______
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jjs | |
%
ALL RIGHT SIR THAT'S ONE DICK TOO MANY
YOU CAN HOLD IT UP AS PROUD AND AS HIGH AS YOU WANT
BUT YOU'RE STILL GOING TO HAVE TO THROW IT BACK
NEXT TIME I CATCH YOU WITH ONE THAT SMALL AGAIN
YOU'LL LOSE YOUR DICK HUNTING LICENSE
i
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%
8MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMZ
MMMMM@BW0@B@MMMMMMMMMr MECHANICAL FAILURES: 16
MMMM0WBB@MMMMM00BBWBBBMMMM IRAQI MILITARY: 1
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HUHHHHHHHHHHHH
I'M PENIS MAN
ALL DAY LONG I PROTECT THE WORLD AGAINST
EVIL PEOPLE WITH PENISES
OKAY DO YOU PEOPLE STILL HAVE ANY

QUESTION ABOUT WHETHER KIRARA IS CREEPIER THAN TRAN
%
WHEN I BEAT OFF A LITTLE JESUS
INSIDE ME MAKES A SQUEAKING SOUND
WHAT
YES I'LL HOLD
/
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jgs \M==M==M=M==M=M==M/
`---------------'
%
I'M MICHAEL MOORE !!!!!!!!!
_.--._ I WON AN OSCAR TONIGHT SO LET ME TELL YOU
,' `. ABOUT MY POLITICAL VIEWS UNTIL I GET
/ __) __` \ BOOED OFF STAGE
( (`-`(-') )
/) \ _ / ( THEN TAKEN OUTSIDE AND SEVERELY BEATEN
/' )-._.' . \ ___ WITH THE TROPHY
( ,--., `.)___(___)
)( /-.,--'\ _ \X/` THEN FINALLY TAKEN TO COURT BY A
'/ .'/ \ ( Uu")\ COALITION OF CONCERNED CITIZENS AND
/ / \ `/,-' ) FORCED TO BATHE REGULARLY
( ^ , ,^ )`._.'
( `. Y .' ) HURRRRRRR CREME CAKES
\ `. )\.' / )
)`._.'=='._.' (
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/ | / Ojo/VK/FS/ejm
%
_n_________________
|_|_______________|_| A MESSAGE FROM PRESIDENT BARTLET
| ,-------------. | TO PRESIDENT BUSH !!!!
| | .---------. | |
| | | | | | "I'M JUST A FUCKING ACTOR AND
| | | | | | SHOULD SHUT MY GODDAMN YAP"
| | | | | |
| | | | | |
| | `---------' | |
| `---------------' |
| _ GAME BOY |
| _| |_ ,-. |
||_ O _| ,-. "._,"|
| |_| "._," A | hjw
| _ _ B | `97
| // // |
| // // \\\\\\ |
| ` ` \\\\\\ ,
|________...______,"
%
THANKS FOR SEVERING MY TORSO
AND THROWING ME IN THE EBBING TIDE
JERKS
/
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%
I'M A .BASHRC FILE _,.====.
SOURCE ME ,=". . . / /
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%
......... HOW COME WHEN I HIT THE "PROPS" KEY
.'------.' | I DON'T SEEM TO GET ANY
| .-----. | |
| | | | |
__| | | | |;. _______________
/ |*`-----'.|.' `; //
/ `---------' .;' //
/| / .''''////////;' //
|=| .../ ######### /;/ //|
|/ / / ######### // //||
/ `-----------' // ||
/________________________________//| ||
`--------------------------------' | ||
: | || | || |__LL__|| || | ||
: | || | || | || `""'
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| || | || MM
%
GOODNESS I THINK I JUST SAT ON THE BAR TAP!!!
NO I'M NOT COMPLAINING!!! JUST SAYING IF YOU WANT SOME
HEINEKEN IT'S GOING TO BE COLD-FILTERED THROUGH MY FAT ASS
.##. __________________________
|::| | |oooooo
(<>) L_Y_Y_Y_Y_Y_Y_Y_Y_YL______
.JL,_. | |oooooo
((oYo \\ L_h_h_hih_h_h_h_h__L______
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_______Y_//_)__(_((L_h_Y__Hh_h_h_h_h__L______
Y--------///()))----------------------------
| "(("^//"`
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| ))
| //\\_
~' ~ kg
%
_____ IF I WERE GOING TO USE A LANGUAGE DESIGNED FOR
___/ \___ COSMIC INTERCOURSE I'D USE IT EXCLUSIVELY TO
`-._) (_,-` TALK ABOUT BEING GAY WITH THEM !!!!!!!!
\O _ O/
\ - / HA INQ HB ?X LAE X.
`-( HB INQ HA X = HA.
|| HA INQ HB MAL.
_||_ HA INQ HB ?X LAE X.
|-..-| HB INQ HA X = HC.
|/. \| HA INQ HB BEN.
|\__/| HC INQ HB (HA SUC DIC) ^ (HB SUC DIC).
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`-(( ))-' HB INQ HC VER.
__\\//__ HC INQ HC GHLAGHLGAHLAGHLGAHLGAHLAGHLGA
>_ /\ _<,
' 'gnv
%
_______________________,
##, |
####, qsi |
###, |
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/ ~~~ ~~ \ |
!\ ~ ~~~~ / |
! ======== !=. |
! ! \ |
! I HAVE ! } |
! AIDS ! ,/ |
! != |
\________/ |
|
-----------------------`
%
TODAY FOR THE FIRST TIME EVER
I KISSED AN ACTUAL GIRL ..........
(\
\ \
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//\\ _,-'\\ `'--._ //\\
\\ ;' \\ `: //
`( \\ )'
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......... APRIL FOOL'S !!!!!!!!!!!!!!

GHLGAHLGALHAGLHGALHGAHLAGLHAGLHAG
%
THIS COMIC STRIP WAS SO MUCH
MORE UPBEAT BEFORE 9/11
/
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_.:::.
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%
QUIET
THIS IS MY FAVORITE PART OF AMERICAN HISTORY X
.
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\ | \ \ | \ / | | / / / | | /_/ /
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_.-----.....___
.-": .- . """"-._
.: ..' ' "-._ I'M OPERATED BY A MORON
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%
THIS IS AN ANCIENT SUMERIAN TORTURE DEVICE
_.--~--._
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/ / \ / /\
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;;;;;;;;;;;;;]\;;;;;;;;]\\
;;;;;;;;;;;;;/ ~~~~~~~~~ \\
;;;;;;;;;;;;/ .. H|
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%
, _,-
(\ _,-',' ANYONE NOTICE THAT BOTH GANDALF
\\ ,-" ,' AND MAGNETO ARE BOTH HOMOS ??????
\\ ,' ,'
\\ _:.----__.-."-._,-._ WHAT THE FUCK MAN
\\ .-".:--`:::::.:.:' ) `-.
\\ `. ::L .::::::'`-._ ( ) : I DON'T THINK THE
\\ ":::::::' `-. `-_ ) ,' ORIGINAL AUTHORS
\\.._/_`:::,' `. . `-: INTENDED THAT LITTLE TWIST
:" _ "\"" `-_ . ` `.
"\\"":--\ `-.__ ` . `.
\\':: \ _-"__`--.__ ` . `. _,--..-
\\ :: \_-":)( ""-._ ` `.-''
\\`:`-":::/ \\ . . `-. : LET'S HOPE THEY DON'T
:\\:::::::' \\ ` . `. : MAKE SEQUELS WHERE
:\\:':':' . \\ `, : : THEY BOTH ANNOUNCE
: \\ . \\ . `. : TO THE WORLD ABOUT
__`:\\ . \\ . ` ,' ,: : HOW GAY THEY ARE
_,---"" : \\ ' \\ . :-" AND KISS AND STUFF
,-"" : \\: . : \\ ` ' ,'
' : : \ . \\ . _,'
: . ' : :` `,-' ,--'
: : : ,'-._,' ,-'
_: : :8: ,--'
:dd`-._,'-._.__-""' ,'
,----'
_.----' THE ORIGINAL AUTHORS
__..--"" BEING OF COURSE GILBERT AND SULLIVAN
""
%
HEY GUYS LET'S FORM A BAND!!!
I CAN SORTA PLAY THE GUITAR AND MY FRIEND CARMEN
SAYS HE CAN PLAY THE DRUMS, ALSO I'M LETTING SKYE
FROM FOURTH PERIOD PLAY BASS BECAUSE SHE'S CUTE
IN THE REAL WORLD KIDS LIKE YOU

GET THROWN INTO DUMPSTERS / DOWN HILLS
OR ARRESTED, IT'S REALLY OUR CONCERN NOT YOURS
____
.-'"" ""`-.
.-' `-.
,' `.
,' \/o|)|)o _ (~| o|)|)|_|.
/ / || | |}_ _)|<|| | _| \
/ _____ _ _ \
; AND ' /o |_)|_) _ __ _ :
: THE / / | | | (/_ | _> :
| /____---' |
: \ :
: \\ ;
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\ /' \ / |\.---------.
` / .---. .--. __.".__ | |*** *** |
,; .---. | .--._| --._.-- |\:""""""""":
----- // | | | `-,' `. | ----MJP | |.-------.|--
| | | : ; | | ||Marshal||
(#==-. /_\ \---/ '. .' /_\ .-==#) | || ||
| / \[ ] ]`.__.'[ / \ | \||_______||
| | `---------'
| |
| |
| |
| |
| |
.-^-. .-^-.
`-' `-'
%
_____________________________________________________________
| I WILL NOT HAVE SEX WITH ANONYMOUS MEN IN TOILETS ^^^^^^^^\ |
| I WILL NOT HAVE SEX WITH ANONYMOUS MEN IN TOILETS | | |
| I WILL NOT HAVE SEX WITH ANONYMOUS MEN IN TOILETS |_ __ | |
| I WILL NOT HAVE SEX WITH ANONYMOUS MEN IN TOILETS (.(. ) | |
| I WILL NOT HAVE SEX WITH ANONYMOUS MEN IN _ (_ ) |
| \\ /___/' / |
| _\\_ \ | |
| (( ) /====| |
| \ <.__._- \ |
|___________________________________________ <//___. ||
%
I HAVE A MESSAGE FOR YOU
IT READS: YOU MUST LEAVE IN TWO DAYS
/
/
_.-````'-,_
_,.,_ ,-'` `'-.,_
/) (\ '``-.
(( ) ) `\
\) (_/ )\
| /) ' ,' / \
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| _/\ , / ,,`\ ( "`
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`)_/ \ \ ) ( > ( >
\( \( |/ |/
/_(/_( /_( /_( mic+dwb
%
_______
..-'` ````---.
.' ___ .'````.'SS'.
/ ..-SS####'. /SSHH##'.
| .'SSSHHHH##|/#/#HH#H####'.
/ .'SSHHHHH####/||#/: \SHH#####\
/ /SSHHHHH#####/!||;`___|SSHH###\
-..__ /SSSHHH######. \SSSHH###\
`.'-.''--._SHHH#####.' '.SH####/
'. ``'- '/SH####`/_ `|H##/
| '. /SSHH###|`'==. .=='/\H|
| `'-.|SHHHH##/\__\/ /\//|~|/
| |S#|/HHH##/ |`` |
| \H' |H#.'` \ |
| ''`| - /
| /H\ .---- / SUPPORT
| |H#/'. ` / OUR TROOPS
| \| | '.. /
| ^~DLF /| ''..______.'
\ //\__ _..-. |B
\ || ```` \ |_
\ _.-| \| |_
_\_.-' `'''''-. | `--.
''`` \ `''-; \ /
\ .-'| ````.' -
| .' `--'''''-.. |/
| .' \|
|.'
%
IN YOUR COUNTRY YOU RIDE CAMELS
_______\\__
(_. _ ._ _/ IN OUR COUNTRY WE USE COMPUTERS TO SPICE
'-' \__. / UP GRAPHICS AND ANIMATION IN OUR WAR ON YOU
/ /
/ / .--. .--.
( ( / '' \/ '' \ "
\ \_.' \ )
|| _ './
|\ \ ___.'\ /
'-./ .' \ |/
\| / )|\
|/ // \\
|\ __// \\__
//\\ /__/ mrf\__|
.--_/ \_--.
/__/ \__\
%
MY MACHINE RESPONDS TO DNS AS WE.GET.SIG.NAL!!!
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MMM OH BWHAHHA MMM OH MAN THAT'S GREAT
COME ON PEOPLE "ALL YOUR BASE" REFERENCES ARE SO SEPTEMBER TENTH
_
_ooOoo_
o8888888o
88" . "88
(| -_- |)
O\ = /O
____/`---'\____
.' \\| |// `.
/ \\||| : |||// \
/ _||||| -:- |||||_ \
| | \\\ - /'| | |
| \_| `\`---'// |_/ |
\ .-\__ `-. -'__/-. /
___`. .' /--.--\ `. .'___
."" '< `.___\_<|>_/___.' _> \"".
| | : `- \`. ;`. _/; .'/ / .' ; |
\ \ `-. \_\_`. _.'_/_/ -' _.' /
===========`-.`___`-.__\ \___ /__.-'_.'_.-'================
`=--=-' hjw
%
_____
MAYBE I SHOULD SHUT MY FAT RACIST ((( `\
DYKE OF A MOUTH !!!?!??!?!??!? , ,`\ )
(^ ) )
NO OF COURSE NOT SINCE I'M A CRACKER ~-( )
ASS BITCH I GET TO SAY WHATEVER I _'((,,,)))
WANT AND IF YOU DISAGREE I'LL ,-' \_/ `\
JUST FALSELY ACCUSE YOU OF RAPE ( , |
AND MAKE A MILLION IN FRADULENT `-.-'`-.-'/|_|
SETTLEMENTS !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! \ / | |
=()=: / ,' ua
P.S. I'M A FOURTEEN YEAR OLD TWAT
%
I'M PRETTY SURE THAT
PLATINUM IS FOR STRAIGHTS
AND COBALT IS FOR BENTS
_n_________________
|_|_______________|_|
| ,-------------. |
| | .---------. | |
| | | | | |
| | | | | |
| | | | | |
| | | | | |
| | `---------' | |
| `---------------' |
| _ GAME BOY |
| _| |_ ,-. |
||_ O _| ,-. "._,"|
| |_| "._," A | hjw
| _ _ B | `97
| // // |
| // // \\\\\\ |
| ` ` \\\\\\ ,
|________...______,"
%
I'M PRETTY SURE MY PROTESTS WILL MAKE A DIFFERENCE
___ __.._ OR AT LEAST GET ME IN A FIST FIGHT
.-" `"""" `-.
/ `-. /
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|\ \ / \ \F 7 /
/ | /.__...-\ \-`. oo
.' .' \ < ,/`-. `. `.__J
\__7 /__7 `--' \__7
fsc
%
,
/:\ FOR THE RECORD I HATED YOU IN SNEAKERS
>:<
>:< PLUS I THOUGHT YOUR ACTING AS THE YOUNG
>:< INDIANA JONES WAS DECIDEDLY SUBSTANDARD
,,,,,\:/
#########
//////\\\\\
// /_\ /_\ \\
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/\\= _\ =//\
\\/\ --- /\//
//\ '---' /\\
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%
I JUST REALIZED THERE'S NOT GOING TO BE ANY
SOCIAL SECURITY MONEY LEFT FOR POOR ME
. .
> < , > <
. ' ' . .
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[bug] : : `-._____/ `. /
\ | :/ , V\
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: |\_/ | \L _..--. `.L.' |`. __
| | ;`. ; _ \\' `. /`+'.'`.
| | | | \CT_; `-. ' / / |
|-_| | .-'`.___. `-. / / ;
: ; :.-' `-./ /. /
\/_/ _ \/ `./
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%
I'VE GOT AN MPEG WHICH INCLUDES DAMN NEAR EIGHT MINUTES
OF DAVID LETTERMAN TALKING ABOUT THE WTC ATTACKS ON HIS
SHOW IF ANYBODY NEEDS TO BEAT THEIR FUCKING COCK OFF
W .__. .__.
[ ] |::| |::|
E ._. |::| |::| ._.
|\ |:| ._. |::| |::| |/|
\ \\|/ |:|_|/| |::| |::|_ |/|
|-( )- |:|"|/|_|::| |::|\|_|/| _
| V L |:|"|/|||::| |::|\|||/||:|
\ ` ___ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
| \/ / ~~~~ ~~~~ ~~~ ~~~pwh
%
__.-.__
_.-' ' ` `-._ I'M AN OCTOTHORPE
.' ' ' ` ` `.
( ' ' ` ` )
|`-,..,.____..,.,--;|
|: | :| : | : |: ||
|: | :| (9>| : |: ||
|: | :|(\) | : |: ||
|: | :|/\\ | : |: ||
|: | /| II | : |: ||
|: |///| II | : |: ||
|; | :| II | : |: ||
/`-!...|____|...!--'\
/ \
`--...._________....--' fL
%
.-=====-.
| .""". |
| | | |
| | | |
| '---' |
| |
| |
.-================-' '-================-.
j| _ |
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s| '-.'. .'o.` |
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'.`'._ .===, | _.-' /
'._ '-./ ,//\ _| _.-' _.'
'-.| ,//' \-' ` .-'
`//'_`--; ;.-'
`\._ ;| | I HOPE YOU FUCKERS
\`-' . | REALIZE HOW PAINFUL
|_.-'-._| AND HUMILIATING THIS
\ _'_ / IS
|; -:- |
|| -.- \ YOU UNGRATEFUL FUCKS
|; .\
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| \ / / |
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| |_/ |
| |
| |
| |
| |
| |
| |
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'-=====-'
%
HEY LOOK! IT'S BART SIMPSON ON THE RUN FROM NAMBLA
THIS IS NOT THE BEST NES GAME I'VE EVER PLAYED
o
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%
,,,,,
(((( ))
((( a a
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\\______//'~|
`-----//-. | IF YOU SQUINT
.'; `|| I'M A SWASTIKA
~` ||
||
||
||
||_
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//----------------------------------\\ jgs
%
__...----..
YOU GODDAMN LIBERALS .-' `-.
/ .---.._ \
COULD YOU PEOPLE STOP | | \ \ |
DIVERTING VALUABLE `. | | | | _____
RESOURCES IN ORDER TO ` ' | | / _.-` `.
ORGANIZE GROUP HUGS, \ | .'| //'''.' \
CANDLELIGHT BULLSHIT `---'_(`.||.`.`.' _.`.'''-. \
_(`'. `.`.`'.-' \\ \ \
THAT LOVE AND UNDERSTANDING (' .' `-._.- / \\ \ |
CAN BE HAMMERED INTO METAL './ `-._ .-| \\ ||
SHEETING TO PROTECT OUR ('.\ | | 0') ('0 __.--. \`----'/
SOLDIERS _.--('..| `-- .' .-. `. `--..'
IN THE _..--..._ _.-' ('.:| . / ` 0 ` \
FIELD .' .-' `..' | / .^. |
/ .' \ ' . `._
.'| `. \`...____.----._.'
.'.'| . \ | |_||_||__|
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IT'S A DOG-EAT-DOG WORLD OUT THERE
AND I'M WEARING MILKBONE UNDERWEAR
WHAT DOES THAT HAVE TO DO WITH A

FOOTPRINT ??? I DON'T KNOW
AND YES I STOLE THAT LINE FROM CHEERS

%
~ ~ OKAY FOLKS LAST BEER !!!!
( o )o) LET'S HOPE THE OXYGEN TANK DOESN'T BLOW
( o )o )o) ON THIS ONE AND LEAVE THREE ASTRONAUTS
(o( ~~~~~~~~o STRANDED IN SPACE
( )' ~~~~~~~'
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| f|||||l ,-- --.|| O o ,-------------------,
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j_j,-``` f | f ||-. . | MMMMMMMMMMMM DICK |
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WORDS ARE HARD !!!!! AND POINTY AS IT TURNS OUT
THE O SLIDES RIGHT IN BUT THE K POKES AND PRODS
/
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|_|_|
\_|||;;_/
\d|||||;:b/ I ASK THAT YOU PLEASE UNSQUEEZE
\d||#H#|;::b/ BECAUSE OF THE OXYGEN FACTOR WE DISCUSSED
._H||#H#|||;::H_.
._H||#H#|||;::H_.
._H||#H#|||;::H_.
._?|||#||||;::P_.
._H|||||||;:H_.
._?||||||;::P_.
._H|||||;:H_.
._H|||||;:H_.
.=================.
|_________________|
| |
| |
| |
| |
| |
|_________|
%
___
| ~~--.
|%=@%%/
|o%%%/ I THINK IT'S TIME TO DECLARE MY LOVE
__ |%%o/ FOR THIS COUNTRY BY ORDERING A FREEDOM PIZZA
_,--~~ | |(_/ ._
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`--..____,,--' CD
%
MY DAD SPANKS ME IN PUBLIC
I MEAN I DESERVE IT BUT THAT'S NOT THE POINT
| | _.-7
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%
THE NUMBER OF FRIENDS I HAVE IN MY FRIENDSTER PROFILE IS
DIRECTLY PROPORTIONAL TO MY VALUATION OF MY OWN SELF-WORTH
_________________.---.______
(_(______________(_o o_(____()
.___.'. .'.___.
\ o Y o /
\ \__ __/ /
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'''
mrf
%
I AM GAY
RED IS POSITIVE, BLACK IS NEGATIVE
HOOK ME UP
/
/
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_ |____________| _
_=====| | | | | |==== _
=====| |.---------------------------. | |====
<--------------------' . . . . . . . . '--------------/
\ /
\_______________________________________________WWS_________/
wwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww
wwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww
wwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww
%
.------. .------.
.' //`. .' `.
/ // \ / \
| // : | ......:::::
: // | :::::'''''' |
\ // / \ /
`._// _.' `._ _.' AsH
`"----"' `"----"'
WHO FRAMED MY BALLS

%
FRANK BURNS
EATS WORMS
\. ./
\\ //
\\ //
\`-'/ CJ
`-'
%
I'M AN ARCHAEOPTERYX, THE FIRST TRUE BIRD
AND RIGHT AFTER I LAND I'M GETTING A MARS BAR
/
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, __
,__(^) / (^) I SURE HOPE THERE'S GOING TO BE
/ \~`/ _`~` A BLUES BROTHERS 2003 OR POSSIBLY
_(^) |/_/,\`, EVEN A BLUES BROTHERS 2004
,/ `~\ ,|/ \ (^)
(^) ,\ | (^)`~`
`~` \|` `~`
,|/lc WHAT DO YOU MEAN JOHN GOODMAN'S GAY
~"^"~"^"~
%
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/, // ,/,_|_// ,/ ,, ,/, // ,/ /, //, /,/
/, /,.-' '-. ,// ////, // ,/,/, // ///
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, / ejm \ \ ). //, ,( ,/,/, // ,/,
THESE ARE THE LARGEST RAINDROPS I HAVE EVER SEEN

HOLY CHRIST THAT'S NOT RAIN GOD IS PISSING ON ME
I NEVER SHOULD HAVE IGNORED THAT ROMANS 1 THING
%
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gnv '-'-.\_ `-.
I KNOW THAT THROUGH ALL THE STRUGGLE

THERE'S A BRIGHT ROAD AT THE END OF THE TUNNEL
NOW YOU SHOULD KNOW WHATEVER YOUR DILEMMA MAY BE
YOU'LL LEARN LIFE IS WORTH IT WATCH THE TABLES TURN
%
_____
I'LL MAKE OUTRAGEOUSLY RACIST ((( `\
REMARKS WHILE HIDING BEHIND THIS , ,`\ )
LARGE-BREASTED TOOTHPICK THIN (^ ) )
PERSONA!!! ~-( )
_'((,,,)))
THE PERFECT COVER FOR AN ,-' \_/ `\
UNSTOPPABLE EATING MACHINE ( , |
WITH GROSS "FRIED EGG" TITS `-.-'`-.-'/|_|
\ / | |
MMM HOMPH ARBY'S AND ASCII ART =()=: / ,' ua
I'M A WIFE-BEATER'S DREAM COME TRUE! HEHEHE!
%
YAP YAP WE'RE YOUR GARDEN-VARIETY DUMB DYKES
THE PRESIDENT IS A BUTTHEAD!!!! HEHE
OKAY I'M SORRY FOR WHAT WE JUST SAID IN FACT WE DIDN'T SAY IT
WE APOLOGIZE FOR THE MISUNDERSTANDING WE LOVE OUR PRESIDENT
I THINK SOCIALISM CAN WORK IF WE ALL HOLD HANDS AND REALLY TRY
-. .
_____ ',' ,
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/ .______.- ~ \
/ /' \ \
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%
I WAS BORN ADDICTED _.~._
TO CRACK AND ,~'.~@~.`~.
BARBITURATES / : _..._ : \
{ :,"''))`".: }
'C) 9 _ 9 (-'.._,-"7o-.__
( )(@)( ) /o `.
`-.___.-' `-._ / \
\ / `-' ;`-._,-.
CAN I WATCH SPONGEBOB y `---t.,-. \_____
,' /---.__\ _( \--------'
_,\ ,' `-.__.--' `. \_____
'///,-`-' `-------' hjw
%
. . * . Ojosh!ro '98
+ / .'`-. . .
/| .'`-. `-. .-""""-. +
. * / !' `-. / / 0 . \
. /`/`-. / / | ( ) |
`/ _ `-.-` / . \ . o /
___Z__// - /\_____/`-.__.-' . *
/ // - / / .
~-._ // -.-`-./`-,/ . +
+ / ~ `-.-'/ `-./ *
' '/ / . * . *
WHOSE TURN IS IT TO STIR THE CRYO TANKS

%
__________
| |
|________|
| |
.-' '-.
.-' .---. '-.
.-' .'.--. '. '-.
/ ' /~`') ' \
| '.`, ( .' |
| '---' |
| . . . |
| ,-. |-. ,-. ,-. | . . |- |
| ,-| | | `-. | | | | | | |
| `-^ ^-' `-' `-' `' `-^ `' |
| |
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|| / | | | \ |/ / ||
|| / | | | / |\ /~~||
|`' `---' `^--' ,' `,' `'
| |
| . _ _ _ _ __|_ _ _| |
| || | ||_)(_)| | (/_(_| |
| | |
| |
\__________________________/
THIS ABSOLUT FACIAL IS THE WORST FLAVOR EVER

%
#######
#######o###
#####o#######o#
####o#\#|#/########
########\|/##o#####o# I LIKED PRESIDENT NIXON'S NOSE
# }}{ o #
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ejm97 }{{ \/\\ o
%
DOMINO'S PIZZA ??? AT 1 AM ????? SIR ????????
`. ---)..(
||||(,o) ptr
"`'" \__/
YOU WILL ADDRESS ME AS MRS.
/
)..(
(.o)
`.( )
|||| ptr
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%
__
|| WHEN I MASTURBATE IT'S NOT
==== BECAUSE IT FEELS GOOD IT'S
| |__ BECAUSE GOD TELLS ME TO
| |-.\
|__| \\
|| ||
======__|
________||__
dcau /____________\
%
_
| |
/ __)
\__ \
( / CHECK IT OUT FOLKS !!! IT'S THE DOLLAR SIGN !!!!
|_| THE QUEEREST SIGN EVER INVENTED !!!!! STAND IN AWE !!!!!!
____
/ __ \
/ / _` |
| | (_| |
\ \__,_|
\____/ (LONG PAUSE) I STAND CORRECTED
%
<\ />
\\ .-. //
\\_/___\_//
.-/\\ //\-.
( / )`-.-'( \ )
_____Y_.' `._Y______
-----.-. .-.------
J \ / F
VK ( \ ).-"-.( / )
`-\//_____\\/-'
// \ / \\
// `-' \\
</ \>
WHAT IF I DON'T *WANT* ESTONIA IN NATO

%
CAREFUL BABY JESUS
I THINK THAT COW MIGHT BE JEWISH
IF HE TRIES ANYTHING JUST FORCE HIM TO EAT HIMSELF
WAIT THAT'S HINDU
WHATEVER THEY'RE BOTH JUST CODENAME FOR TERRORISTS
_,-,_
((())))
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(| - |)
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( |\a \ ((`. .)) (\ / '' `\
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' `-'\ {`\/ \ (\ /`\ /) ( | \
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/ (0)/ \ ^ \ _/ \ /_,-| '\ ( "`
( o'o~`-, \\, // \ \ | | /\ \
/`--'/ \ o/)| \ /\ ) ( > ( >
| \ | || || | / | /
\_ _,-> \ | || || // //
|___|(__,___._)_,__| /| /| /| /|
-- '' -'-'-- '' -'-' miK
%
I'M A VAMPIRE LIKE ANY OTHER VAMPIRE
EXCEPT IN THAT I ALSO SUCK DICK
~"""~
/,/,/,/\\\ __
/,/,/,/,,\\`\ Y#b.
/,/, \\\\D###D.
d#\_/ <O> <O> \_/\####D
d##\/, | | /,/####P
d###\, (. .) ,_/####P
d######\ ,v"v. ,#####P
d########\ \"""/ / ###P"
d########\_____/ \##P
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############ || /#############b
#######P" || // .###########H
####P || // T#########H
#### || // T#######H
#### ||// T#####H
#### | / T###H
#### |/ T#H BN
WAIT THAT *IS* LIKE ALL OTHER VAMPIRES

%
_.---._ /\\ AS A FAMOUS PERSON I FEEL IT'S MY OBLIGATION
./' "--`\// TO VOICE MY OPINIONS ON SUBJECTS COMPLETELY
./ o \ UNRELATED TO WHY I AM FAMOUS !!!!!!!!!!!!
/./\ )______ \__ \
./ / /\ \ | \ \ \ \ JUST SAY NO TO WAR IN ______ (FILL IN NAME)
/ / \ \ | |\ \ \7
" " " " VK
%
. ,-"-. ,-"-. ,-"-. ,-"-. ,-"-. ,
X | | \ / | | X | | \ / | | X | | \ /
/ \| | |X| | |/ \| | |X| | |/ \| | |X|
`-!-' `-!-" `-!-' `-!-' `-!-' `- Ojo
A WOMAN REALLY DISCOVERED DNA !!!!!

YEAH RIGHT SHE JUST MADE THE COFFEE
%
, SPACE
;;
;; THE FINAL FRONTIER
, ;;
,; ;;; THESE ARE THE CONTINUING
;;; ;;, VOYAGES OF THE STARSHIP
;;M ;;; ENTERPRISE
;MM ;;;
;MM ; ; ;;; ITS CONTINUING MISSION: TO
MMM M ;; ;;; EXPLORE STRANGE NEW WORLDS
-;;; ;; ;;M;;, AND NEW CIVILIZATIONS
;;;, ;;;;;,;;;;;
, , ;;M.;;;M;;; TO BOLDLY GO (SPLIT INFINITIVE,
,, ;;;;;;;; ;; MISSION CANCELLED)
;;;; ;;;;;;;;;M
M ; ;;;;,;;;;;;;;;;
;;;;MM;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;
,;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;
;;;;;;;;;;; ;;;;;;;;;;,
;;;;;;;;;,;;;;;;;;;;;;;;,,;;MMMMMM;
,;;;M;,;;;; ;,;;;;;;;;;;;;,,,;;;MMMMMM
;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;,;;;;;;;;;;;MMM
;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;M;MMMM
,;;;;;;; ;;;;;;MM
;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;MM=
;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;,MM;
;;;=;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;MM;
;;;; ;;;;;;;;;;; ;;;;;;;MM
;;; ;;;;M;;;;;;;,; ,M;;;;
;; ;;;;; ,;;;,;;;; ;;; ;;,
-M;;; ,;=;,;;;;, MM;,
M;;;; ;;;,;;;, ;;;
MM;;M; ;; ,;;; ;;;;
MM; ;; ;; ;;;M ;
MM; ; ,; M ;;
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%
___________________________________
|.-.--.--.--.--.--.--.--.--.--.--.-.| WHO
||(_)(_)(_)(_)(_)(_)(_)(_)(_)(_)(_)|| NEWGROUPED
||(_)(_)(_)(_)(_)(_)(_)(_)(_)(_)(_)|| DEAN
||_|__|__|__|__|__|__|__|__|__|__|_|| STARK
[_>_______________________________<_]
||"|""|""|""|""|""|""|""|""|""|""|"||
|| | | | | | | | | | | | ||
||(_)(_)(_)(_)(_)(_)(_)(_)(_)(_)(_)||
||(_)(_)(_)(_)(_)(_)(_)(_)(_)(_)(_)||
||(_)(_)(_)(_)(_)(_)(_)(_)(_)(_)(_)||
||(_)(_)(_)(_)(_)(_)(_)(_)(_)(_)(_)||
||(_)(_)(_)(_)(_)(_)(_)(_)(_)(_)(_)||
jgs |'-'--'--'--'--'--'--'--'--'--'--'-'|
`"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""`
%
^ I DEDICATE THIS FILET-O-FISH TO THE BRAVE CREW
< > OF THE SPACE SHUTTLE COLUMBIA
| |
| | THE FUTURE DOESN'T BELONG TO THE FAINTHEARTED;
| | IT BELONGS TO THE BRAVE
" | ^ | "
| || | | || | EVERYONE KNOWS IT WAS A ZIONIST CONSPIRACY ANYWAY
| || ( ) || |
|_|| "_" ||_|
| ||/"_"\|| |
|_|/ "_" \|_|
| / "_" _\ |
|<___"|"___>|
| | ^^^ | |
/_\ /_\
/|||\ """ /|||\
/|||||\ /|||||\ JD
%
.
/:\
|:|
|:|
|:| *_ _ _ _ _ _ _ *
|:| __ | `_' `-' `_' `-' `_' `-' `_'|
,_|:|_, / ) | |
(Oo / _I_ | RENFAIRE STARTS TOMORROW ! |
+\ \ || __| ^ | | ^
\ \||___| | | HIRING RETARDS, REJECTS | |
\ /.:.\-\ | (*) |_ _ _ _ _ _ _ | \^/ |
|.:. /-----\ | _<">_ | `_' `-' `_' `-' `_' `-' `_'| _(#)_ |
|___| oOo | o+o \a/ \0 0/ \a/ (=)
/ |<a.a-a>| 0'\a-a/\/ UNWASHED AND UNLOVED \/\a-a/`0
|_____\ : / /_^_\ | LOSERS GET AUTOMATIC | /_^_\
| | \ \:/ || || | PUNCHINGS HOURLY | || ||
| | | | d|_|b_T____________________________T_d|_|b
\ / | \___ / /
/ | \_____\ / /
`-' / / -cfbd-
____________________________ / /__________
%
,(())), WOULD SOMEONE PLEASE STUFF
'(("""))' A SOCK IN AARON BROWN
'(|o_o|)'
: = :
_) (_
/`_ , _`\
/ (_>*<_) \
/ / ) ( \ \
\ \/ . \/ /
\_)\___/(_/
| \_/ )
\ / /
\/ /
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Sher^ \""\
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((__/| *
%
_ _
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|_ _| (_) |_ _|
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|_ _|_( )_|_ _|
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(_ _ _) (_ _ _)
|_( )_|_ _|_( )_|
|_ _| (_) |_ _|
_) (_ _ _) (_
|_ _|_( )_|_ _|
(_) (_) n4b1s
GIVEN THAT ALL THE PIECES

ARE BLANK THIS IS THE WORST
JIGSAW PUZZLE EVER CREATED
%
__ 1. THE SHORTEST DISTANCE BETWEEN TWO
/ /\ FAGS IS A STRAIGHT LINE
/ / \
/ / \__________ 2. ANY STRAIGHT LINE SEGMENT CAN BE
/ / \ /\ BENT IN HALF INTO A U
/_/ \ / /
___\ \ ___\____/_/_ 3. A PINK TRIANGLE CAN BE DRAWN AROUND
/____\ \ /___________/\ ANY GAY MAN
\ \ \ \ \ \
\ \ \ \____ \ \ 4. ALL RIGHT ANGLES ARE POINTY
\ \ \ / /\ \ \
\ / \_\/ / / \ \ 5. IF TWO LINES SOMETHING SOMETHING
\ / / /__________\/ INTERSECT SOMETHING SOMETHING
/ / / / SUM OF THE INNER ANGLES SOMETHING
/ / / / SOMETHING INVARIABLY MUST INTER-
/________/ /\ / SOMETHING SOMETHING HITTING THE
\________\/\ \ / SAUCE
\_\/jiri
%
_
(_)
| .
. |L /| . _ DUDE KUDLOW'S TOTALLY
_ . |\ _| \--+._/| . (_) GOING DOWN ON CRAMER
/ ||\| Y J ) / |/| ./
J |)'( | ` F`.'/ _
-<| F __ .-< (_)
| / .-'. `. /-. L___
J \ < \ | | O\|.-' _
_J \ .- \/ O | | \ |F (_)
'-F -<_. \ .-' `-' L__
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/' /.' .' `\
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%
o
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\ /
\ /
\ /
+--------------v-------------+
| __________________ @ |
| / , ooo \ |
| | ---=====|#O#### | (\) |
| | ` \ ) | |
| | DRINK | | | (-) |
| | MORE | | | |
| \ POWERADE. | | / :|||: |
| -ooo-------------- :|||: |
+----------------------------+
[] []
THANK YOU MR. TELEVISION

I THINK I WILL GET SOME
POWERADE NOW
%
o EEK / HELP / SPIKE
/_\
('-') OH NO / MOLLY
/| V |\
|=o=|
|___|
d b kirara
%
/~~~~~~~~~~~~\_
_+=+_ _[~ /~~~~~~~~~~~~\_
{""|""} [~~~ [~ /~~~~~~~~~\_
""":-'~[~[~"~[~ ((++ [~ _/~~~~~~~~\_
'=_ [ ,==, ((++ [ /~~~~~~~\-~~~-. I'M A SOLID
~-_ _=+-( )/ ((++ .~~~.[~~~~( {@} \`. ROCKET BOOSTER
/ }\ / ( } ( . ''}
( .+ \ / // ) / ., """"/
\\ \ \ ( .+~~\_ /.= /'""""
<"_V_"> \\ \ ~~~~~~\\ \
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rm <"_V_"> <"_V_">
%
._-'-_ .
. ' /_-_-_\ ` . YEAH I'D LIKE AN ULTIMATE BURRITO
.' |-_-_-_-| `. COMBO AND ALSO A TACO AL CABRON
ejm ( `.-_-_-.' )
!`. .'!
! ` . . ' !
! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! !
/ / \ \
_-| \___ ___/ /-_
(_ )__\_)$_/__( _)
))))\X\ ((((
\/ \/
%
IF THOSE HOOLIGANS ON THE BUS WANT TO MESS WITH ME
THEY'LL HAVE TO GET THROUGH THIS RAPE WHISTLE FIRST
`~ _ _____
` _ ~ 7____//
- ` ~ _ ~ `/----/(
/ / `&
ad ( ( )
`(O)_`&_.%
|
|
|
|
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%
GETTING FUCKED HURTS WHEN YOU'RE ONLY EIGHT
__,,,--`-.
_.-' ,(_)/\-.
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; _,-'`./_\_| `;
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\ /,~= `~-=`-. ;
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%
.=~\ /~=.
,'|-~'--__. .__--'~-|`.
/ | '' \ / '' | \
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| --' '-- |
| l----` '----| |
| | | | FREE MASON MARCONI
/`----'\ /`----'\
/ \ / \
'T~T'/\\ //\ /\\ //\'T~T'
| \// \Y/ \ / \Y/ \\/ |
UJJ--------' '--------UJJ
| | | |
`---^---' `---^---'
| | | | | | | |
`===`=== ==='===' FRM
%
========))))=== <--- A BIG DICK
========\\\()==
()||\
/ \\()\ <----- IN THE ASS
||()|(|
|| ||||
()|\(|() <---- IS WORTH TWO
| ///$
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/ | ||||() <------ IN THE MOUTH
| | |()| |
()| | | ()
|() | | | kirara
%
.__ .-". I'M THE KING OF MY TOILET !!!!
(o\"\ | |
\_\ | | SECOND ONLY TO EVERYONE ELSE IN THE BATHROOM
_.---:_ |
("-..-" /
"-.-" /
/ |
"--" AsH
%
_ _
(^)___(^) MY NUTS
{ _ _ } ARE
| * * | / PRO-
__ ___...___ ===`.= x =,=== BEATING
,# XX= .---### ""##---___ ___,/`_^_,
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Amy
%
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|
I'M ABOUT TO BE HORRIBLY KILLED BY SOMEBODY WITH A GUN

%
A ROSE FOR THEE
-------<-------<-------% tQn
OKAY FIRST OFF IT'S COMMON KNOWLEDGE THAT THE HEAD OF THE ROSE
IS BETTER REPRESENTED WITH A @
FURTHERMORE EVERYONE -- AND I MEAN EVERYONE -- KNOWS THAT THE

THORNS LOOK FAR BETTER AS { INSTEAD OF <
P.S. WE HAVE NO LIVES

%
------ _____
/ \ ___\ ___/ ___
--/- ___ / \/ / / / \ I'M SO GLAD METEOROLOGISTS
/ / \__ //_ \ EXIST IN ORDER TO GIVE US
/ \ / ___ | WEATHER FORECASTS THAT ARE
| ___ \/+--/ / WRONG HALF THE TIME
\__ \ \ /
\__ | / FOLKS I CAN LOOK OUT THE
\ /____ / / | / WINDOW AND GIVE MORE ACCURATE
_____/ ___ \/ /\ PREDICTIONS
\__ / / | |
/ \____/ \ / //
// / / // / /\ /-_-/\//-__-
/ / // / \__// / / / //
// / / // / // / // /
/// // / / / // / //
// // // / // / /
/ / / / / / / /
/// / / / // // / // //
/// / / / / / /
/// / // / / // / / / /
// /// / /// / /
%
.`=-._.-=-.-=..-'\
| |
.-._ |-. ./
/'' `. | `-._.--._.-' | .-.
|:. `-./ |.` .)
\ `-._ `---..__..----._/ .'
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`-..-.( \ `-' |
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(_.-._) / | | \
(_ /_| \ |
(_ / | `._/ \
(_ _/ \ | |
(_ _) | / |
(_ _) \ | \
(_ _) `._ \ |
(_ _) |@ /_..--'
(_ _) |@ | |
(_ _) \ / ..\_
(_ _) .'_ '`. `-.
(_ _) (_/ ) \\\ \ \
(_ _) (_/ /| /\_)
(_.-_) LGB (_/(_/
Q: WHY DOES IT LOOK LIKE I'VE SHIT MY PANTS

A: BECAUSE I'VE SHIT MY PANTS
%
______
_ _ __...----~~~~~ _
// ___...--- ~~~ \\ . // \|/
__..--_// ~~~ . _\\ . \\_ .
//\\\ \|/. //\\\ ///\\ .
//-\-\\ //-/-\\ //-/-\\
//\_-_/\\ //\_-_/\\ . //\_-_/\\
. /\ @ /\ /\\_//\ /\\_//\ .
/\ \_/ /\ /\ \O/ /\ /\.\=/./\
/__\_\_/__\ . /__\_\_/__\ /__\_\_/__\
/___________\ /___________\ /___________\ .
( _____/:_) ) ( _______/:_)) ((_:\_______ )
\_(_:\______/ \_(_:\______/ \______/:_)_/ \|/
(
. ) /( ( ( . .
/\ . )\ )\ /( /\ /\
/=/ \(/ _\/ /( \=\ /=/ .
. /=/___ ()__)/ /(__() . \=\/=/
/=/////\\ (_) __\=|/
\_\////_(_ ////(_)\ .
////// _\ . _)_\\\\\\\
\///(. _\ /_ .)\\\\\
. (:) | _\ __ __/___o/\\\\\\_ .
___(:) ' \___ .__/\/\___/_/ / \\\\\\\
/ (:) \ \ / /(*)(*)(*)(*\\\\\\\
/ _ (:) _ \ / / | _ _ _ _ \\\\\\
/ / \__ __/ \ \/ / |/_\/_\/_\/_\/_\/_|
( \ | |__\ / . \_/\_/\_/\_/\_/\/ .
\ \| | \_/ |/_\/_\/_\/_\/_\|
\ |_______|/ \ |\_/\_/\_/\_/\_/|
. \/ \ / . / jro\ .
/ \ / /(*)(*)(*)(*)(*)(*)(\
\___________// . \___________________/
JRO . \|/ . . .
WAIT A MINUTE
YOU MEAN THE INDIGO GIRLS ARE LESBIANS ????????
%
I'M A FAGGOT ME TOO GREAT LET'S SUCK COCK
\ \ /
_ ,,, ,
~.. (_| oo' ,-:@@
.>>. ,[__]_ \\ / |((
jg_______________ || ____ (_|___|_||___,' ||bb _________________
%
(
)\
/ | SORRY WHAT WERE YOU SAYING
| | I WAS DISTRACTED BY THIS
.' \ ENORMOUS, SUGGESTIVE LOOKING
| `| CANDLE
\` |
| .'
( .'
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`._ : `.
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/_ - /
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/_ /
/ ./
/' _ ./
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/' _ /
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/( / /
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`.___.-' LGB
%
I'M A KEY
/
/
0--"
tQn
%
,
~)
(_---;
ejm'97 /|~|\
/ / /|
YOU CHEAT !!!!

AWP WHORE !!!!!!!!
MY MOUSE SUCKS !!!!
IF THIS WERE IN REAL LIFE (IRL) I'D WIN EASILY !!!!!!!!!
YOU'RE ONLY GOOD BECAUSE YOU PLAY A LOT AND HAVE NO LIFE !!!!!!
CAN I BE ADMIN
%
__)), PLEASE SIGN MY PETITION TO BRING
//_ _) BACK FUTURAMA
( "\"
\_-/
,---/ '---.
/ - - \
/ \_. _|__,/ \
/ )\ )\_ \
/ _/ ( ' ) / /
/ | (_____) | /
/,' / \/ /,
_/(_ ( ._, )-'
`--,/ |____|__|
| ) | AND OTHER SUCH CRAPPY
| / | TELEVISION SHOWS THAT DESERVED
| / \ | TO BE CANCELLED
/ `| | _)
| | | |
| / \ |
| | \ |
| \ | \_
gnv /__( '-._`,
%
#
# # QUESTION 5.4.7:
# # # # ---------------
# # # #
# # Q. WHY DOES THE HOLODECK
# # # # HAVE THE ABILITY TO FOOL
# # GEORDI'S VISOR, WHICH
# # # #
CAN VIEW FREQUENCIES NOT
# # # # VISIBLE TO THE HUMAN EYE?
# # # # # #
# # # # # # A. REMEMBER TO SLIT *DOWN*
# # # # # # # # THE VEIN AND NOT ACROSS
# # ##
Dana'97 # #
%
/^\ /^\
| \ / | I'M WONDERING WHEN THE SWELLING WILL GO DOWN
||\ \../ /||
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%
.
| \/|
(\ _ ) )|/|
(/ _----. /.'.' I'M TOTALLY GOING TO
.-._________.. .' @ _\ .' BEAT OFF IN YOUR
'.._______. '. / (_| .') CORNFLAKES
'._____. / '-/ | _.'
'.______ ( ) ) \
'..____ '._ ) )
.' __.--\ , , // ((
'.' mrf| \/ (_.'(
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%
<\\\ I WISH I WERE
.%%%%\`\ DARYL HANNAH
%%%%%% > > ,
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,--. _ I'M OFF TO BUY MYSELF A COPY OF
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(^_^)
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| < \ `. | WE'RE CLEARLY THE VICTIM OF
| \ | _.-' / SOME SORT OF HORRIBLE
\ | \ \-'> / TRANSPORTER ACCIDENT
| | \-._ /' /' SINCE WE CAN TALK NOW
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hjm
%
__________________________
__..--/".' '.
__..--"" | | | WITH THIS BLOG
/ | | | I'LL SHOW ALL
/ | | ___________________ | THOSE JERKS FROM
; | | :__________________/: | HIGH SCHOOL HOW
| | | | '.| | SMART AND FUNNY
| | | | || | I REALLY AM
| | | | || |
| | | | || |
| | | | || |
| | | | || |
| | | | || |
| | | | || |
| | | |______......-----"\| |
| | | |_______......-----" |
| | | |
| | | |
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| | |_____.....----|#######|---|
| | |______.....----"""" |
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%
\|/ I LOST MY PENIS IN A PRINTING ACCIDENT
.-*-
/ /|\ YOU SEE I WAS MINDING MY OWN BUSINESS
_L_ PRINTING PORN ON MY EPSON INKJET AND
," ". LONG STORY SHORT I SUDDENLY FOUND MYSELF
(\ / O O \ /) BASHING MY DICK AND BALLS TO MUSH WITH
\| _ |/ A BALL PEEN HAMMER
\ (_) /
_/.___,\_ SO ANYWAY CAN I HAVE THAT LAST SLICE OF
(_/ alf \_) PIZZA
%
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|=====| WAY AHEAD
| | OF YOU
|=====| TIMOFEI
%
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THIS IS AN ACTUAL SCREENSHOT FROM DOOM III
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%
GREAT SOMEBODY TOOK MY WHORE TORSO FROM THE LOST AND FOUND
AND LEFT ME WITH HER STUPID BOTTOM HALF
GUESS THAT MEANS NO BRAINRAPING TONIGHT
_______
/::::::::\
|:::::::|:|
|:::::::/:/
|::::::/:/
|=====;==|
| | |
| | |
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%
_________________________________
|| | | | | | | | | | ||
|| | | | | | | | | | || I THINK BABY FARTS WILL
|| | | | |__|__| | | | || BECOME THE NEW CRACK COCAINE
|| | |__|--' '--|__| | ||
|| |__| |__| ||
||__| |__||
(_) KCK (_)
%
_==0_/ /_O ==C
\__ .@___/\______/\/_)__
\ \,----------------------I|_ejm98___________/~-~-~-~
~-~__|___~-~-~-~ ~-~-~-~ ~-~- ~-~-~-~
-~-~-~ ~-~-~-~ ~-~-~-~ ~-~-~-~-~-~-~
~-~-~-~
WHY DID YOU ATTACH THE ROPE TO HIS INTESTINES ???????
THIS IS WITHOUT A DOUBT THE WORST WATERSKIING OUTING

I'VE EVER BEEN ON (AND I'VE BEEN ON A LOT) (MOSTLY
WITHOUT DISEMBOWLING THOUGH) (SO I GUESS I'M SAYING
THIS IS A NEW EXPERIENCE FOR ME) (((STEREO)))
%
PREPARE YOURSELF FOR HORRIBLY
PAINFUL ANAL SEX AND BLOODY
RELIGIOUS RITUALS THAT WILL
MAKE YOU CRINGE IN HORROR
_"_ %
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########
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%%%
%%
%
/:\
|/|, b'ger
ON AN ALL-NEW DARK ANGEL

%
I JUST LEARNED THAT THE AIDS WILL MAKE ME SKINNY AGAIN
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%
DEAR ANSWER BEAR
FIRST I'D LIKE TO SAY I LOVE THE SHOW

NEVER MISS A SINGLE EPISODE
SO ON TO MY QUESTION BASICALLY I HAVE

TERTIARY PNEUMONIA AND SOME SERIOUS RASHES
AND THE LIKE FROM MY ADVANCING AIDS DUE
TO TOUCHING AND SUCKING THINGS I PROBABLY
SHOULDN'T HAVE TOUCHED AND SUCKED
SO IS THERE SOME SORT OF SALVE OR LOTION

I CAN RUB ON MY CHOPS THAT WILL CLEAR THIS UP
SINCERELY, FAGGOT FROM FARGO
THE ANSWER BEAR ANSWERS !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
,^~~~-. .-~~~"-.
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| FILE A BUG FATTY |
%
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`..-._..~"n4biS'_._:
MAN I HAVE TO TAKE A SERIOUS DUMP
YOU CAN SEE A TURTLE HEAD POKING !!!!
IT'S ALMOST TOUCHING FABRIC HERE PEOPLE

%
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`^-Y_Y_;-'
DID I OR DID I NOT SAY THAT I HAD

TO TAKE A SERIOUS DUMP ????
FOLKS THEY DON'T CALL IT BOWEL

MOVEMENT FOR NOTHING CLEAR A
FUCKING PATH TO THE TOILET
%
IS THIS THE
FALLOUT SHELTER
______
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YES STAND BACK PLEASE (SLAM)

%
DON'T MIND US WE'RE ACTUALLY USEFUL
/|\ [] |"""""""""""--__ /| |\
/ | \ || |____________--"" ( |__| )
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pb /
UNLIKE SOME PEOPLE

%
WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU MEAN
THE TERMINATOR CAN'T BE PRESIDENT ??????
THIS FUCKING CONSTITUTION (TEAR, SHRED, URINATE)
/
/
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(o)-(o)
.-( " )-.
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%
import
java.io.PrintStream;
public class ASmileyFace {
public static void main(String[]
a) { PrintStream out = System.out ;
out.print( "This" + " is " +
"both a " + "reform"+
"atted J" + "av" + "a prog"+
"ram, an" + "d a sm"+
"i".concat( "ley " + "face. Th"+
"is " + "shows how to " + "f"+
"orm" + "at Jav" + "a "+
"usi" +"n"+
"g whitespace only.")
) ;} }
PROGRAMMING IN THE 21ST CENTURY

SURE DID GAIN SOME AFFECTATIONS
DON'T YOU THINK SO ??????? I DO
%
WILL E-DONKEY 2000 (OR THE E-DONK AS I CALL IT) BE
AFFECTED BY THE ONCOMING SALVO OF RIAA LAWSUITS?
ALSO WHEN WILL YOU LET ME OUT OF THIS DARK HOLE OR
AT LEAST DROP DOWN SOME FOOD AND WATER
/\ /\
( \\ // )
\ \\ // /
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\/ _ _ \
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// // |____|
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%
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`'PPPP lm
PLEASE COMPLETE THE FOLLOWING QUESTIONNAIRE BY CHECKING EXACTLY

ONE BOX:
I PRACTICE YOGA BECAUSE:
[ ] A. I AM A DRIED UP OLD CUNT
[ ] B. I AM A DRIED UP OLD MAN-CUNT

%
.|+.
.' | '. CAN WE BRING BACK THE FEDERALIST PARTY
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J | L J L JUNTA !!!!!! LOL
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%
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\`\
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\ \ FIVE DOLLARS TO SEE
\ \ WILL FARRELL STREAK
\.\
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|| :|
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%
,
_,-""-._ THIS IS THE STORY OF
," ". CHOKEY THE LITTLE RETARD
/ ,-, ,"\ WHO, AS IT TURNS OUT,
" / \ | o| COULDN'T
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%
I WANTED TO BECOME A COP SO I COULD HAVE
, A GUN AND SHOOT GIRLS WHO DUMPED ME WHEN
__ _.-"` `'-. I WAS A KID
/||\'._ __{}_(
|||| |'--.__\ WHOOPS WAS THAT OUT LOUD
| L.( ^_\^
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| | )\___/
| \-'`:._]
jgs \__/; '-.
%
WHO WANTS TO TAKE SOME PICTURES OF ME BENDING
OVER TO PICK UP A BASKETBALL ON THIS THING
JUST KIDDING I WOULD NEVER ALLOW THAT (COMMON SENSE)
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________
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//( ( ( ( \\
|| <o> <o>((|| THEY DON'T CALL HER
||) ) ` ) )|| TERRY GROSS FOR
|| (\___( ( || NOTHING FOLKS
\|) ) \)_|/
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______/ \_______
============================ A.
%
________ THREE QUESTIONS
_jgN########Ngg_
_N##N@@"" ""9NN##Np_ * WHY DOES GARRY SHANDLING'S FACE
d###P N####p LOOK LIKE IT WAS EXPOSED TO FLAME
"^^" T####
d###P * ALSO WHY DOES HE SPELL HIS NAME
_g###@F WITH TWO R'S
_gN##@P
gN###F" * FINALLY WHO RIPPED OFF MY RIGHT
d###F LEG AND SHOVED IT UP MY OWN ASS
0###F
0###F HELLO ANSWERS PLEASE
0###F
"NN@'
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q###r
"" DH
%
EVERYTHING I NEED TO KNOW ABOUT MURDERFUCKING WHORES
I LEARNED FROM MY CAT
(`.
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%
THERE'S MORE THAN ONE WAY TO DO ME
_
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IT IS COLD IN HEAVEN
/ /\
/ NO SWEATERS ???? ( )
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( ( ( (|Y Y ( |\| | \ _____\__ _ _/r~) )\_ ||_|[]|_||_ _| | _.
( \ \ || |____>-| | T = |.__\\<\`^ ", \~|| | | || ~ | |"~
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%
|\ BE GAY WITH ME ALL OF YOU
|| \
| | | I COMMAND YOU IN THE NAME OF THE FATHER
/.,, / AND OF THE SON AND OF THE HOLY NUTS
( /
\ (
\ \
\_\__
.' '--._ ,__,-.,
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snd `-\,)))
%
__________________AAAA_______________AAAA______________________
VVVV VVVV
(__) (__)
\ \ / /
\ \ \\|||// / /
> \ _ _ / <
> \ / \ / \ / <
> \\_o_o_// <
> ( (_) ) <
>| |< _______ I NEED SOMEONE TO DO A
/ |\___/| \ GSR TEST ON MY WANG
/ (_____) \
/ \
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/ / \ \
( / \ )
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///\ /\\\
''' ''' MB
%
,sdPBbs. TWO WORDS YOU NEVER WANT TO HEAR
,d$$$$$$$$b. WHILE MOUNTAIN CLIMBING:
d$P'`Y'`Y'`?$b
d' ` ' \ `b PYROCLASTIC FLOW
/ | \ \
/ / \ | \
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/' _/ \ | \
_/' /' | \ `-.__
__/' ,-' / | | \ `--...__
/' / | / \ \ `-. `\
/ /;;,,__-' / / \ \ `-.
/ |;;;;;;;\ \
%
WHAT WOULD YOU DO FOR A KLONDIKE BAR
WOULD YOU QUACK LIKE A DUCK?
\ / WOULD YOU HONK LIKE A GOOSE?
`-.`-'.-' WOULD YOU BARK LIKE A DOG?
,:--.--:. WOULD YOU TAKE A FAT DUMP IN MY FREAKISH ZIT OF A FACE?
/ | | | \ PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF CHRIST ON THE HOLY CROSS
/\ | /\ AND I'M NOT EVEN JOKING OR KIDDING AROUND WHEN I SAY THIS
| `.:.'| I'M ASKING YOU PLEASE FROM THE BOTTOM OF MY HEART
l42 IF YOU HAVE EVEN THE TINIEST BIT OF HUMAN COMPASSION
TAKE A CRAP ON MY BIG FAT FACE
%
/
( . |\
. | I__ ___---~~~ |
. _i_---~~~~ \_---~~~ _-\|
:;.: /~ ____--~ __-~
;: ___---~~~----~~~~ __--~
: : __---~~~ _ __--~
: _-~~ ___---~~_O __--~
.:(_ ~ ___---~~ I SHOULD HAVE NEVER
*.::; ;;~~~------_____-----~~~~ JOINED THE RUSSIAN NAVY
**..;
* snafu
%
.-------.
_ : : : _
( ); :; :: :( )
( : :; :: : ) NO ONE RULES AS MUCH
( ::; ::: ) AS MY BOYFRIEND RULES
((' _ _ ')) RIGHT NOW
' '' `'o` 'o`" '' '
` ' `-' `-' ' '
`.' ( ) '.'
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--./`.______.\ ,--
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vvvvvvvvvvv
utis
%
,--..Y
\ /`. MY REVISED AMERICAN FLAG
\. \ HAS SIX-POINTED STARS
"""--'
Ojo'98
%
WE'RE ON A SEARCH FOR MUMMIFIED BONERS
WE'LL ALL GET HARD WHEN WE SEE IT AND HAVE TO USE OUR
GAY LITTLE SAFARI HATS TO HIDE OUR OWN ERECTIONS (MUMMY'S CURSE)
_
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%
THIS COULD GROW UP TO BE ORAL CANCER ----------> .
%
_.-'--._
.-' \ MY ASIAN SISTER
/ ) IS REALLY HOT
( __ /
( ( *)(* /
\ `' |' / __..--.
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;;. |---. I HOPE LORETTA SWIT'S OKAY
;;:; \~/ /
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%
___________________________
| ________________________ |
| | ||
| | ||
| | .*`. ||
| |____ / | ||
| | | / | ||
| | | Ò.__,. ||
| | | _//------. ||
| | |/ \ \ ||
| | / '-------' ||
| |____\ ) ||
| | | '---/ , ||
| | | / | | ||
| | | / ` , ||
| | ._. ' ' ||
| | ( , ||
----- | |------- ( ; ----- ||------
| | ( ; ||
| | (___, ||
| | ( ( ) ||
| | {( ) ||
| ------------------------ |
| mb |
|___________________________|
I FIND IT VERY HARD TO BELIEVE THAT CARROT TOP

CAN'T FIND ANY BETTER WORK THAN 1-800-COLLECT
%
_____ GODDAMMIT DON'T TAP OUT I CAN REVIVE YOU
[IIIII]
)"""( (PLAYING WOLFENSTEIN OVER AND OVER IN MY MIND)
/ \
/ \
|`-...-'|
|asprin |
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(\)`-.___.(I) _(/)
(I) (/)(I)(\)
(I) hjw
%
. I CAN'T BEAT OFF ANYMORE
____/_ (TOO MUCH PHYSICAL DAMAGE YOU SEE)
\== .'__===_|
\_ _ _ /"---' \/
|_|_|_|_\_______\______
`.==-------------------|_
LGB `.___________________/
%
.-""""-. THE RIGHT-HANDED RULE SHOWS
|== ==|-. HOW TO CRAM YOUR THUMB UP MY
|~~ ~~~|`\\ ASS WHILE TICKLING MY BALLS
|LILILI| ||
| |//
| |/
| |
jgs __|______|__
[____________]
%
o--o--=g=--o--o
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\ / TO LISA "LEFT EYE" LOPES
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.
| WHEN I HEAR THE PHRASE "MASSAGE THERAPIST"
| I THINK "BLOWJOB ARTIST"
|
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(____)jsm | |
'.'
A MOMENT OF SILENCE OVERCOMES

THE AUDIENCE AS THEY LOOK UPON
THE WANG-SHAPED STICK FIGURE
AND WONDER WHAT THE LINES AT
THE TOP OF THE DRAWING ARE
INTENDED TO INDICATE
THIS IS A SAD DAY FOR DEMOCRACY

INDEED
%
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(>\---/<)
,' `. THE BEST PART
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( >(_Y_)< ) IS
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/, )` '( )
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`._ _/_ ___.'-\\\
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%
__ ___ / / EVERY 26TH OF DECEMBER THE JEW WIZARD COMES
___( (\_( ) )/ / BY AND STEALS ALL THE GOOD KIDS' PRESENTS
|\___` \\_\/_/_/\ AND SENDS THEM TO PALESTINE
| | ____/\_\`._._\
| ||\__/ '_\ \`_._\ AT LEAST I'M PRETTY SURE THAT'S WHAT HAPPENS
\|| | | | | | | ON HANUKKAH ANYWAY
|| | |^| | | |
\ | | | |
\|ejm__| |____|
%
THE GAY BEGINS HERE -------------------------------------------> .
%
+-----------------------------------------+
| MARTIN SHORT AS ....................... |
| A FUCKING RETARD WHO NEEDS TO BE KILLED |
+-----------------------------------------+
%
. --- REJOICE !!! FOR HENCEFORTH YOU SHALL BE PERFECT
tQn
%
DEAR ANSWER BEAR
LONG TIME LISTENER FIRST TIME CALLER
MY BOYFRIEND AND I HAVE BEEN GOING OUT

FOR ALMOST SIX MONTHS AND FINALLY TODAY
HE SAID HE WANTED TO GO "ALL THE WAY"
AND EVEN THOUGH I'M VERY RELIGIOUS I
THOUGHT YOU KNOW I SHOULD PROBABLY PUT
OUT OR THE GUY'S GOING TO GO HIRE SOME
PROSTITUTES
ANYWAY SO WE PICK A NIGHT AND MUCH TO MY

SURPRISE I FIND OUT THAT "ALL THE WAY"
MEANS HORRIBLE FISTING, ANAL, CREAMPIES,
BUKKAKE, AND MUD FUN FOR SIX HOURS STRAIGHT
NEEDLESS TO SAY I'M FILTHY, STICKY,

STRETCHED OUT, AND GLAZED LIKE A FAT HAM
BUT MY REAL CONCERN IS WHETHER OR NOT I CAN
CHANGE HIM AND MOLD HIM TO MY WILL ???????
I KNOW HE HAS A GOOD HEART BUT BOY HE SURE
LIKES BRINGING ANIMALS INTO THE BEDROOM
WHAT SHOULD I DO ????
SIGNED, TWATSIE FROM TULSA
,^~~~-. .-~~~"-.
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| SELL YOURSELF FOR |
| CRACK YOU WHORE |
%
,
`.-- .,-"" . BUGS BUNNY WAS SO GODDAMN
._,' . _,. `. HOT IN THAT DRESS
, / .'.oo`.. `. `- .__.-'
:: .; "-()-"`. \.-. / FUCK IT I'D DO ELMER FUDD TOO
; /'". ,"`'. "-- "-" AND DAFFY WITH HIS BEAK BLOWN OFF
.': : `----' "-" Doida
'
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_.--'''-._
.-'/ `\ THE ENTIRE LEFT SIDE OF MY BODY IS
/.-'`. '\ ONE GIANT EROGENOUS ZONE
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( }) (}\ `-._\ : OKAY THE RIGHT TOO
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o< THE 9/11 ATTACK WAS ORCHESTRATED BY PRESIDENT BUSH

AND THE ELDERS OF ZION IN ORDER TO FURTHER THEIR
PLANS FOR THE NEW WORLD ORDER
%
.-.
/ 7, `\,')/, DON'T TELL ANYONE BUT I MASTURBATED
( \\ =/= ))) TO THIS (NOT REALIZING THE P.A. IS ON
) \\ < . D/ AND THE WHOLE CAMP WILL HEAR ME
( \\ è_ / TALKING ABOUT MY RASH TO COL. POTTER)
\ \\_ __\ \___
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1. SURROUND ALL OF YOUR S-EXPRESSIONS WITH PAIN OR I WILL MAKE YOU

PAY WITH M-EXPRESSIONS
2. I'M GOING TO CONS YOUR TWO BALLS TOGETHER TO MAKE ONE ASS
3. AFTERWARDS I'LL CAR YOUR FACE AND CDR ALL OVER YOUR CHEST AND THEN
SEND YOU HOME IN A CAB
4. PROGN YOUR MOTHER AND APPLY YOUR MOUTH TO MY MAPCAR
5. OKAY I'M SPENT GET OUT

%
__
/o \_____
\__/-="="`
__
/ o\
\_ / I'M AN ASS KEY
<|
<| FUCKING USE ME
jgs <|
`
%
,--.
,--. .--,`) ) .--, I AM PUTTING YOU ON NOTICE
.--,`) \( (` /,--./ (` THAT FOR ALL INTENTS AND
( ( ,--. ) )\ /`) ).--,-. PURPOSES I BELIEVE YOU
;.__`) )/ /) ) ( (( (`_) ) TO BE A SCRUB (ALSO KNOWN
( ( / /( (.' "-.) )) )__.'-, AS A BUSTER)
_,--.( ( /` `,/ ,--,) )
( (``) \,` ==. .== \( (`,-;
;-,( (_) ~6~ \ / ~6~ (_) )_) )
( (_ \_ ( )( )__/___.'
'.__,-,\ \ '' /\ ,-.
( (_/ /\ __ /\ \_) )
'._.' \ \__/ / '._.'
.--`\ /`--.
jgs '----'
%
LARGE GUN
,______________________________________
|_________________,----------._ [____] ""-,__ __....-----=====
(_(||||||||||||)___________/ "" |
`----------' Krogg98[ ))"-, |
"" `, _,--....___ |
SMALL URINE PUDDLE `/ """"
%
,-""-. /) OOPS !!!! FIRED FOR INCOMPETENCE
/ c/-} // AND CRYING AT WORK AGAIN !!!!!!!
( ,--)T-. //
`/ ,_) )\__,-/ THAT'S OKAY BECAUSE I CAN ALWAYS
/ /. \'_,-"< FIND SOME GUY TO TAKE CARE OF ME !!!!!!!
/ / ) _`).__
_/,' ( ""-."-. P.S. FROM NOW ON YOU MUST
'-/ _/`-----. ),' ADDRESS ME AS "KITTENDOODLES"
o!O '"-'"""----"
%
<>
.-"""-. ||::::::==========
/= \ ||::::::==========
|- /~~~\ | ||::::::==========
|=( '.' ) | ||================
\__\_=_/__/ ||================
{_______} ||================
/` * `'--._||
/= . [] . { >
/ /|ooo |`'--'|| THAT'S ONE SMALL STEP FOR MAN
( )\_______/ ||
\``\/ \ || SON OF A BITCH I'M DOWN A CRATER
`-| == \_| ||
/ | ||
|= >\ __/ ||
\ \ |- --| ||
\ __| \___/ ||
jgs _{__} _{__} ||
( )( ) ||
^^~ `""" `""" ~^^^~^^~~~^^^~^^^~^^^~^^~^
%
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: : \ / (o) (o) | | \`--.......--` ' \ ----:_/
'._| '-._.' \_/ / | |:| | \ '._______.-'
: \ / .| | | | '.__ _.-'
\ `-.____.' .:| | | | ||'||
'. `. `. / .::'| | | |_ || ||
/ | | | `'::::''/ | | \ .-' / | \
/__nn/|__nn;_; \_jrei_| |______/ \_/ |__\
OH MY SWEET JESUS THAT HORRIBLE CYLINDRICAL NAZI MOUSE IS MOLESTING

THAT POOR MINI-ELEPHANT TYPE THING AND CHOKING THAT POOR QUEER
CHICKEN ALL IN THE NAME OF THE FATHERLAND
WASN'T SIX MILLION JEWS ENOUGH ?!?!?!?!? YOU FILTHY FUCKING NAZIS
%
|||
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----------'---' MY NUTS ARE AL DENTE
%
_,--._.-,
/\_r-,\_ ) A COCKSUCKER BY ANY OTHER NAME
.-.) _;='_/ (.; WOULD STILL SUCK COCK (DUH)
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,--.
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"""---""
SO ARE WE ALL GOING TO SIT WITH BOYS ON ONE SIDE OF THE ROOM
AND GIRLS ON THE OTHER OR ARE WE GOING TO PARTY !?!?!?!?!?!?
%
I'M AN EARTHQUAKE WHORE !!!!!!!
WATCH: GHGALHGAHLGAHLGHGAHLGAHLAGHGAHL
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%
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|||\ _ `-'_` o|/|| WHEN I DRINK I FEEL
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\\|| `"\"""/---'|| AND MORE LIKE A GANDER
\\| ,-' `.||//
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____
.--`` _``--. I LIKE TO REFER TO THE
/`- __- -\ \ \\`'. FAIRER SEX AS "CH1X0RZ"
// /` `\ \ \\ \ \ BECAUSE EITHER THEY REALLY
/ /.` `. \ \ _\'. LIKE THAT OR I'M A
.-. |// ,,, `._.-` `'.-. COMPLETE TOOL
/ \/ .'` `'. .'` `'. \ / \
/` /=. |/ .--. \/ .--. \ _ `\ NOT SURE WHICH
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/ __/ |_ _| | | |_____| ___) |
|_____| |_| |_| |____/
I HAVE TWO BALLS (THREE IF YOU COUNT MY DICK)

%
FUCK YOU JUPITER EAT OUR SPACE TRASH
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MMMMNMMMMNMNMMMMNNMNNMNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNMNNMMMNNMMNMNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN##
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###HHH@mqHWXzO1??;++....++??+++++1+z?++uzzzwrOOz!````....+=twuZWHM#N#
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NNNNN###MHMMMHHHWUZwXwOOttIz?=+++zztl11???1zzuzzOrwwOOC+++zzwwXWHMM##
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.-''-.
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( (/)':.__ _/ IS BLACK TOO (FYI)
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BULLDYKE SNATCHY TWATSIE OREO CUNTY
%
.-.
/())
.-'""////"`-.
(.-##| '' ) )
|`-._______.-'| THIRD ROCK WILL
|:::::::::: | NEVER BE THE SAME
|:::::::::' | WITHOUT FRENCH STEWART
|::::::::: |
|::::::::' |
|:::::::: |
||):::|:|) |||
||$/(|:|)LJ|||
|::::::-. |
|`-Z-'\ /`-S-:|
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%
I MAKE LESS MONEY THAN A MAN DOING THE SAME JOB
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=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
%
P
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snd( \_ __/ -- )_
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THE MOON SHE RISES SWIFTLY

UP THE NUTS SHE SAYS AND I OBEY
I AM EMPTY OF LIFE
JIZZ MOP
%
__
.' '\._
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;;.-:/ | \:.'--;
:___......._ '. HAS ANYONE SORT OF NOTICED
{{__..--""-,_'-.: THAT THE POLICE GUY FROM
{{[_ _ _ _ _'--.} THIRD ROCK FROM THE SUN
{[| | || || | |-.]} IS KIND OF FAT
{[\-'-':-::-:-'/ ]}
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jim{{ '""''~~~""-- _'
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%
_
mMm _[_]_ THIS IS ME AND KIRARA RIGHT
/(_)\ (_) AFTER SHE STOPS BANNING ME
//)^(\\//:\\ FROM HER PUBLIC BBS SO WE
/(/&@&\)\|~|/ CAN TALK
/ /-~`~-\ |||
`/ \||| P.S. SHE'S THE ONE ON THE LEFT
jgs `-------'-'--
%
------ _____
/ \ ___\ ___/ ___ THE DONGS/DICKS ARE
--/- ___ / \/ / / / \ RAINING DOWN ON ME
/ / \__ //_ \ (THEY ARE WEIGHTED
/ \ / ___ | DOWN WITH METAL)
| ___ \/+--/ /
\__ \ \ /
\__ | /
\ /____ / / | /
_____/ ___ \/ /\
\__ / / | |
/ \____/ \ / //
// / / // / /\ /-_-/\//-__-
/ / // / \__// / / / //
// / / // / // / // /
/// // / / / // / //
// // // / // / /
/ / / / / / / /
/// / / / // // / // //
/// / / / / / /
/// / // / / // / / / /
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____________________________________________________________
|__|_____|_____|___|(-`{:. ~(-`{:. ~(-`{:. ~(-`|X|.
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|__|_____|_____|___|(-`{ -`|X|.
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|__|_____|_____|___|(-`{ HARD WE COULD SUCK EACH `|X|.
|_____|_____|_____||,)~ OTHERS' DICKS WITH ONLY ~|X| .:}
|__|_____|_____|___|(-`{ OUR GOOGLY FAGGOT EYES `|X|.
|_____|_____|_____||,)~ ~|X| .:}
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|_____|_____|_____|| '-.-' '-.-' '-.-' '-.-'/XXX.'-.-' '-.-'
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|_____|_____|_____|| '-.-'/\-.-' '-.-' '-./XXXX| '-.-' '-.-'
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|_____|_____|_____|| '-.-' '-___ '-.-' /XXXXX/-' '-.-' '-.-'
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%
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IT'S DECEMBER 7 FOLKS !!!!!!! LONG LIVE THE ALAMO
..
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* * * * * * * * * * ::::::::::::::::::::::::::. .::::::::'
* * * * * * * * * * $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$ $$$$$$$$F
* * * * * * * * * * $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$d$$$$$$$"
::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::;
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%
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
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_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
|_|_| | |_| |_| |_| _| |_|_ |
|_|_ _| |_|_ _| |_|_|_| |_|_|_|
I THINK BOOLEANS ARE A BAD IDEA IN PROGRAMMING
AFTER ALL WHAT IS THE POINT SINCE YOU KNOW THAT THINGS
ARE TRUE OR FALSE KIND OF TO START WITH
I MEAN OBVIOUSLY 3 IS TRUE AND -6 IS FALSE RIGHT ????
A LIST WITH ODD ELEMENTS IS TRUE BUT A LIST WITH ODD

ELEMENTS IS FALSE
A PAIR OF NUTS IS TRUE AND A PAIR OF BALLS IS FALSE

RIGHT ???? RIGHT ????????
I THINK BUILDING ANYTHING INTO A BOOLEAN SHOULD BE

ILLEGAL BECAUSE I HAVE NO PENIS
I THINK THE OBVIOUS PROPER SOLUTION IS THAT A BOOLEAN TYPE

SHOULD BE A STRUCT WITH TWO MEMBERS: "NOTUNTRUE" AND
"NOTCOMPLETELYCORRECT"
SO WHEN YOU WANT TO SET IT TRUE YOU SET NOTUNTRUE TO 7 AND

WHEN YOU WANT IT FALSE YOU SHOULD SET IT TO
NOTCOMPLETELYCORRECT
ARE YOU TAKING NOTES
YES I'M TALKING ABOUT PEP 285

%
..---.. THAT POOR GUY R. KELLY CAN'T GET A BREAK
/ \
| | I MEAN THAT DISGUSTING PEDOPHILE R. KELLY
: ; CAN'T GET A BREAK
\ \~/ /
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|_|_|
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%
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DEAR M.C. LYTE
ALL THE REST OF US ON EARTH WANT TO SAY

HELLO TO YOU IN HEAVEN
WE KNOW THAT YOUR TIME HERE WAS SHORT

BUT WE HOPE YOU'RE IN A BETTER PLACE NOW
SAY HELLO TO AALIYAH
WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU MEAN YOU'RE NOT DEAD

%
.-=-. WE'RE IN LOVE !!!!!!!!! PUT US TO DEATH
/\____) BEFORE IT INEVITABLY TURNS SOUTH
| / . .\ SO WE CAN BE IN PERPETUAL BLISS
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I COULD BE FILKING RIGHT NOW
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jrei //
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%
______.--------.
/' \ EXTENSIVE RESEARCH INDICATES
/'\ \ PRIMITIVE HUMANS DID NOT HAVE
..-'\()'\ .'''. ./' ACCESS TO THE GAYDOME
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| /' '-..___.' `. `. THE REST HOWEVER
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YOUR POUNDING ME IN THE ASS DISCARDS CONST QUALIFIERS

%
__)), WHEN I JERK OFF I CAN SEE GOD
//_ _)
( "\" AND HE IS NOT VERY APPROVING
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\\ I'M A WRENCH
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Krogg
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b'ger % % / /\_'__,' '-`
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JUST BECAUSE I'M IN A WHEELCHAIR DOESN'T MEAN

I'M NOT THE BEST DAMNED RUGBY PLAYER IN THE COUNTY
WAIT WHICH ONE IS RUGBY

%
BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH
BLAH BLAH BLAH \

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VK mmoômm `==..___,-' `" _/ _) aa
Q: WHAT KIND OF WHORE TAKES OFF HER BOTTOM *FIRST* ????
A: YOU
Q: WHY WOULD SHE DO SUCH A THING ?????
A: REPEATED MOLESTATIONS AT AGE 8
*** BECAUSE THE MORE YOU KNOW ....................... ***

%
,-=-.
/ ) DEAR ABBY
( c/=(
`-( _/ IF I SPELL "EVIL" AS "AEVIL"
_/ (_ DOES THAT MAKE ME MORE OR
/ `-- ) LESS OF A PEDOPHILE/PAEDOPHILE
< , ) )> ????????????????
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HOMO
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|
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IT WAS REALLY MORE |
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o< PRETTY SURE GENE KAN WAS ASSASSINATED BY THE FREE SOFTWARE
FOUNDATION BECAUSE GNUTELLA CAN'T SCALE
%
......
.:::::` . I WOULD LIKE SOME MILK
::::: - - FROM THE MILKMAN'S WIFE'S TITS
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{{ }{
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{{}}} I LICK DICK 24/7/366
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__/) ASIMOV KEEPS REJECTING MY STORIES
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ejm97 (\__ | USED IN GALACTIC BESTIALITY FILMS
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(/ |-(__(=: HEY MAN-BOY LOVE WORKED FOR HEINLEIN
______ | _ \)
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%
___.----.____
CAN WE ALL HAVE A MOMENT OF SILENCE __,--(_,-' ,-'
FOR MY RIGHT TESTICLE WHICH WAS _,-' ,-'
SMOOSHED IN THE WORLD TRADE CENTER _,-' ,-'
ATTACK ,-' () ,-'
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(`-`;-"```"-;`-`)
\.' './ ANGELINA JOLIE IS PERFECT
/ \ IN HER NEW ROLE AS THE WHORE
; 0 0 ; WITH PONYTAILS THAT JUST BEG
/| = = |\ TO BE YANKED
; \ '._Y_.' / ;
; `-._ \|/ _.-' ; AMONG OTHER THINGS
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%
__, IF THERE'S A POST-OP TRANNY WHORE AND YOU TORTURE
.-"`{*} FUCK AND KILL IT AND YOU WANT TO DO IT AGAIN
." ::{*} DOES THAT MAKE YOU A GAY SERIAL KILLER OR JUST
/ .:. {*} A NORMAL SERIAL KILLER
|:: ' ::{*}
{^"*"^"*"^"*"^"*"^"*"^"*"^}
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,;.
.; `'-;.-
,;` `., SOMETIMES MY SHIT
._; ;` SMELLS SO BAD THAT
`; ;` YOU DON'T WANT TO RUB
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;`` ' o '`&` LET ALONE EAT IT
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ERIC S. RAYMOND PROPOSED A NEW LOGO FOR HACKERDOM !!!!!!!!
......... NO WOMAN WILL EVER LOVE

.'------.' | YOU SO BEAT OFF WITH ME
| .-----. | |
| | | | |
__| | | | |;. _______________
/ |*`-----'.|.' `; //
/ `---------' .;' //
/| / .''''////////;' //
|=| .../ ######### /;/ //|
|/ / / ######### // //||
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`--------------------------------' | ||
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` ^ , IF YOU CAN READ THIS FROM IRC
<2 4> THEN YOU'RE A FUCKING FAGGOT
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%
MARK MITSUBISHI MARK MITSUBISHI MARK MITSUBISHI
____________ MARK MITSUBISHI MARK MITSUBISHI MARK MITSUBISHI
.F............T. MARK MITSUBISHI MARK MITSUBISHI MARK MITSUBISHI
| .----------. |
| |',' ',' , | | _......_ .''''''''''.
| `----------' | _+' `+_ .' '.
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(_)`-' __[]__ `-'(_) (_)`-' __{}__ `-'(_) (_)`-' __/\__ `-'(_)
(....__|WATCHU|__....) (....__|SBAITA|__....) (....__|NDSWIT|__....)
| | ~~~~~~ | | | | ~~~~~~ | | | | ~~~~~~ | |
`-' `-' `-' `-' `-' `-'
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(_)`-' __)(__ `-'(_) (_)`-' __()__ `-'(_) |(_)(_) ______ (_)(_)|
(....__|CHYOUR|__....) (....__|EBAYAU|__....) (....__|CTIONS|__....)
| | ~~~~~~ | | | | ~~~~~~ | | | | ~~~~~~ | |
`-' `-' `-' `-' `-' `-'
%
__
\/.--,
//_.'
.-""-/""-. I HAVE MALARIA
/ __ \
/ \\\ \ WHICH WHEN LITERALLY TRANSLATED
| || | MEANS "BAD DICK"
\ /
\ \ /
\ '- /
'-.__.__.' sjw
%
.-=-. HE'S A NECROPHILE AND SHE'S A COPROPHAGE
////"\\ AND TOGETHER YOU CAN WATCH THEIR WACKY
.=. ( 6 6 ) ROOMMATE ANTICS !!!!!!
//"\\ \ - /
(/6 6\) _.) (._ WILL THEY EVER GET ALONG ?????
)\ = /(-` `:` `\
_(_ ) ( _)-| : |\ \ ODD COUPLE 2003
(_/ `\_/` \ | : |/ /
/ (_ @ _) \\_ : _/ /
\ \)___(/ / |===|_)
\/`"""`\/ | L |
| | | | |
| | | | |
|_____| | | |
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jgs / Y \ / T \
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%
__ __
\ \ ___ / /
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\ \\ \ / /
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\ \> \ /__) /__) /__) /____ // /
\ /_________ ________ _______ _________ / // /
/ //____ //___ // _ ` / _ // // /
/ /_____/ / / // // // //___// // /
/ / / // // // / / ~ ~\
/____________./ / / `_______//___/ /_______ \
_________/ / \ \
RoBot / / \ \
/____________/ \___\
I'M A LITTLE RETARDED INBRED PIXIE WHOSE INSIPID WAILING

IS A SINCERE BUT FIRM REQUEST TO BE PUT DOWN
%
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/ | +----------+
/ ------------. | | |
; : | | |
| ,-----------. | | | |
| / : | | | | |
| ___ | | | | | |
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\ / \ | : : | | |
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( \ \ ; | |
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;
|
-+-
LOOSELY TRANSLATED IT READS:
PEOPLE OF EARTH !!!!!

IF YOU DO NOT SUMMARILY
EXECUTE THE CAST, CREW,
PRODUCERS, AND FANS OF
THE TELEVISION SHOW FRIENDS
WE WILL HAVE NO CHOICE BUT
TO BOIL YOUR PLANET TO VAPOR
%
__________!__
/__________|_/| Shimrod
|// --==+==-- _________ _________
|___ , __||/ /________/| /________/|
| | |! |// | | |// | |
| | | | ,__|/ | ,___|/
___| | |___ | | |___ | | |_
/___|, |/__ /| | |/___/| | ,_|/_/|
|// | | | | | | | |
|_________//|/ |_____//|/ |_____//|/
/`-..___
___________/ ````-----......_______
(___________| _______::::::::=========----------
_____ \ ___,,,,-----''''''
/____/| \,-''
|// | | _________ _________ _________ _________
| | | /________/| /________/|/________/| /________/|
| | | |// , | | |// | ||// | | |// | |
| | | | | | | | , | || ,__|/ | ,___|/
| | |____ | |, | | | | | || | |___ | | |_
| |/____/| | , | | | | | || |/___/| | ,_|/_/|
| | | | | | | | | | || | | | | |
|________|/ |___|_//|/ |___|_//|/ |_____//|/ |_____//|/
I WENT TO KINKO'S
TO SEE IF I COULD GET THIS MADE INTO T-SHIRTS AND BUMPER STICKERS
AND SOMETHING TERRIBLE HAPPENED
%
_...,
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Q ` ;
\_. | THERE ARE MANY LIKE IT BUT THIS ONE IS MINE
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%
\ \ \ \ \ \ \| |\ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \| |\ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \
/ / / / / / / | | / / / / / / __ / / / / / / / / | | / / / / / / / / /
\ \ \ \ \ \ \| |\ \ \ \ \ /..\ ` ` \ \ \ \ \ \| |\ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \
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/ / / / / / / / / / / / >,---. ,-' / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / /|
\ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ | . \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ |
/ / / / / / / / / / / / / / `. `. \ ., / / / / / / / / / / / / / /|
\ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ | `. | \||_ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ |
/ / / / / / / / / / / / / / / `. : |__|| / / / / / / / / / / / / /|
\ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ __> `.,---' \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ |
/ / / / / / / / / / / / / / |.--'\`.\ / / / / / / / / / / / / / / /|
---------------------------- _\\ \`.| -----------------------------'
--------------. ,------------ /|\ - |:| ----------. ,------------------
\ \ \ \ \ \ \| |\ \ \ \ \ \ ' ` |:| \ \ \ \ \| |\ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \
/ / / / / / / | | / / / / / / / / / |:| / / / / / | | / / / / / / / / /
\ \ \ \ \ \ \| |\ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ |:/ \ \ \ \ \| |\ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \
/ / / / / / / | | / / --.________,-_/ / / / / / | | / / / / / / / / /
\ \ \ \ \ \ \| |\ \ \ \ \ ```-----' \ \ \ \ \ \ \| |\ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \
/ / / / / / / | | / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / | | / / / / / / / hjm
o< OPEN SOURCE IS REALLY A REPTILIAN PLOT SO THAT THEY CAN GET ALL THE
GOVERNMENTS TO SWITCH FROM PROPRIETARY TO OPEN SOURCE SOLUTIONS SO
THAT THEY CAN REPLACE KEY HEADS OF STATE WITH REPTILIAN IMPOSTORS
I MEAN THIS IS JUST COMMON SENSE PEOPLE

%
FOLKS CHECK OUT MY BLOG
`._ __......_
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.::::::::::::::::::::
.::::::::::::::::::::::
.::::::::::::::::::::::::
.::::::::::::::::::::::::::
.::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
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.::| RAPE ME SO I |:::::::::
.::::| CAN HIT THE |:::::::::
.::::::| LOTTERY |:::::::::
.::::::::| __ __ |:::::::::
.::::::::::|__( )_______( )__|:::::::::
::::::::::::::::\ \ ,~~~~./ /:::::::::::::
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:::::::::::::::::/________\:::::::::::::::
:::::::::::::::::/ /::::\ \:::::::::::::::
::::::::::::::::/ /::::::\ \::::::::::::::
:::::::::::::::/_/::::::::\_\:::::::::::::
:::::::::::::(___)::::::::(___)::::::::smd
%
__
.--.;_.'-.
_., \__.' ;@ '. WHEN I JERK OFF INTO A JERKNAP
.'; `. ; __..-"'o WHERE DO ALL THE LITTLE
; ;' ; ;_/ ._.-' SQUIGGLIES GO
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WITH THIS PISS
I THEE WED
|
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| |"| | /~@~@~\ ||| '-'
ldb_|___|_|___|_____/_______\|||________________________
%
OKAY NOW THAT WE'VE GOT A CONGRESS THAT
WILL WORK TOGETHER WITH THE ADMINISTRATION
CAN WE NOT PASS A RESOLUTION OR PERHAPS
DRAFT AN AMENDMENT TO THE CONSTITUTION
WHICH DECLARES THAT WITCHBLADE IS THE
GREATEST TELEVISION SERIES EVER CREATED ??????
|
WHY ARE YOU ASKING |
ME I'M JUST A CAMPFIRE |
|
| |
| |
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+ . ' . . ////////000000000HHHHHHHHMMMMMMhs
o< HIDE !!!!!!!! THE BERSERKERS ARE COMING !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

THEY'VE DETECTED OUR INNOCENT RADIO SIGNALS AND ARE ON THEIR
WAY HERE RIGHT NOW !!!!!!!!! THEY MUST BE BECAUSE IT'S THE ONLY
WAY I CAN THINK OF TO EXPLAIN THE FERMI PARADOX
%
CROUCHING TIGER,
HIDDEN TITLE TOO LONG
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$$$$$$$$$$"$$' |: | OUR OWN AND IMAGINE WHAT IT
$$$$(`$ ,= =: |: | MIGHT BE LIKE ONE DAY
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%
.'. .
NOW THAT AOL/TIME WARNER .' ,'.
IS JUST TIME WARNER ,' .' .' .
I CAN FEEL COMFORTABLE . ,' : ' .' :
ABOUT THIS STUMP ,-' ` ' , ' ' :
UP MY ASS ,' ', ' ' :
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,-----.
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\ {} '. Q: WAR *HUNH* WHAT IS IT GOOD FOR?
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dew }_`============>-
A: KILLING KRAUTS/JAPS/WOPS (UNTIL THEY SURRENDER)

%
| | ------------\ ,---. /------------ | |
| | ---------. `-./ "\.-' .--------- | |
| ,--. | --------\ . /-------- | ,--. |
| ( >< ) | ------`-.| .-'------ | ( >< ) |
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`-------------------------------------'
ù---u---u---u---u---u---u---u---u---u'
ZE ENEMY IS VEAKEND !!!!!!!!
JAHAA !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
NICE SHOT !!!!!!
JA WOHL !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
GOOD GAME !!!!

%
__________________________
__..--/".' '.
__..--"" | | | I THINK WHAT YOU GUYS
/ | | | ARE FAILING TO REALIZE
/ | | ___________________ | IS THAT MACINTOSH IS
; | | :__________________/: | SO MUCH EASIER THAN
| | | | '.| | WINDOWS THAT WINDOWS
| | | | || | LAN ADMINISTRATORS AND
| | | | || | PROGRAMMERS BY TRADE
| | | | || | ARE SWITCHING TOO
| | | | || |
| | | | || | YES I'M AWARE THIS JOKE
| | | | || | IS A YEAR OLD
| | | | || |
| | | |______......-----"\| |
| | | |_______......-----" |
| | | |
| | | |
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%
\/
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_.-'\ '-._] \ } / TIME TO BRUSH UP ON MY
/ \ '-./ { COMPUTERMANCY SKILLS
'. '-. .'
\ '--...___ .-'{ OR NANOTECHROMANCY OR
\ """"-----"" / WHATEVER YOU CRAZY KIDS CALL
'-.___ .-' IT THESE DAYS
`-...______..---""" fsc
%
\ O
_\--__ WELCOME BACK RUSH
/ USA \_______
__|_______|------' WE SURE MISSED YOU BUDDY
. //------------\\
....\____________/ MMMM MY ASS THEN MY MOUTH MMMMMMM
%
IF POSTING BORING PORN WERE ILLEGAL .@@@@@,
99% OF YOU FUCKERS WOULD BE LOCKED @@@@@@@@,
AWAY FOR LIFE aa`@@@@@@
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O O
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*** \ / ***
* ** \ / ** * I PUT THINGS
** ooooo ** \ / ** ooooo **
** oooooooooo *\ /* oooooooooo ** IN MY
** ooooooooooo *[ ]* ooooooooooo **
** oooooooooooo *[ ]* oooooooooooo ** DUMB CUNT
** 0000000000000 *[ ]* 0000000000000 **
** ============= *[ ]* ============= **
** 000000000000 *[ ]* 000000000000 **
*** ooooooooo *[ ]* ooooooooo ***
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** ooo * ooo **
** ooooo * * ooooo **
** oooooo * * oooooo **
** 00000000 ** ** 00000000 **
** ========= ** ** ========= **
** 0000000 ** ** 0000000 **
** oooo ** ** oooo **
** oo * * oo **
*** ***
%
JASMINE ST. CLAIRE SURE LIKES IT IN HER POOPER
/
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%
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|| || / \ || ||
|| || / \ || ||
|| || / \ || || ,
|| || /_.--=========--._\|| , || .'
|| || '.::::: | | :::::.'|| '._ || \
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| /`. ,`-._ | | ' | | _ | |- _ | |
|_____|__ `-,..-.-.' `--.._ | |_ | |_____|__.-'
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| | | ' | ; ; | /`--.._ /_.-' |
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^-------^--^` | | `-.__|_.-' _.-'
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LGB `--..__ _..-'
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GOD BRAVO SURE HAS SOLD OUT TO THE HOMOSEXUAL COMMUNITY

WITH ALL THIS FUCKING GAY SHIT THEY KEEP SHOWING
%
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+ + + + | | + + + +
| | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | |
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| | | | | | | | """ | | | | | | | |
| | | | | | | | {{'}} | | | | | | | |
""" """ """ """ {{'}} """ """ """ """
{{'}} {{'}} {{'}} {{'}} {{'}} {{'}} {{'}} {{'}} {{'}}
{'} {'} {'} {'} {'} {'} {'} {'} {'}
{{'}} {{'}} {{'}} {{'}} {{'}} {{'}} {{'}} {{'}} {{'}}
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\'\ \'\ \'\ \'\__ {'} __/'/ /'/ /'/ /'/
\'\ \'\ \'\ \___{{'}}___/ /'/ /'/ /'/
\'\ \'\ \'\______ {'} ______/'/ /'/ /'/
\'\ \'\ \_______{{'}}_______/ /'/ /'/
\'\ \'\__________ {'} __________/'/ /'/
\'\ \___________{{'}}___________/ /'/
\'\_____________ {'} ______________/'/
\______________{{'}}_______________/
{'}
~AP~ {{'}}
{{{'''}}}
##\/\/\/\/\/\/\##
##\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\##
##===================##
MY GRANDPA'S COOL BECAUSE HE HAS A TATTOO !!! HE

ALSO BREAKS DOWN SCREAMING AND CRYING WHEN I
WATCH HOGANS HEROES
%
I'M LONELY IN HERE
.__ .-". /
(o\"\ | | /
\_\ | |
_.---:_ |
("-..-" /
"-.-" /
/ |
"--" AsH
%
_.._
.'\(_(\
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| \ \ .': \ ;..--'` __,.--'` `--'
A \ Y' \ '._.-'` \`'--+''`
_\ \ .': '. _.-`\ \
Y \ \' \ .-'. `, J A SHOE TO THE NUTS IS WORTH
| \ /: `..' `, '.__/ TWO IN THE BUSH
A \' \ .''. '. l
.-\ /: `..' '. `-._/ A FINGER UP THE ASS IS BETTER
\ \' \ .'`. '. | THAN A FIST
\' _.-` `. T. l
( _.-'. `. |`._ | '._/ A PENNY SAVED IS ONE LESS
`` `._J`._J`.__A `--' DICK I'VE GOT TO SUCK THIS WEEK
%
_.-+. DEAR SIRS,
_.-"" '.
+:"" '. I WROTE TO YOU SOMETIME LAST YEAR REGARDING
J \ '. MY ASCII CUBE (LEFT). AT THE TIME, YOU WERE
L \ _.-+ NOT INTERESTED. AT THE END OF 2003, I POLITELY
| '. _.-" | REQUEST THAT YOU CONSIDER MY CUBE FOR
J \ _.-" L INCLUSION IN THE NEXT ISSUE OF NEW YORKER
L +" J MAGAZINE. OTHERWISE IF I GET ANOTHER GODDAMN
+ | | YELLOW NOTE I'M GOING TO KICK YOUR FUCKING
\ | .+ ASSES!!! THAT'S RIGHT ASSHOLES I'M TOTALLY
\ | .-' OFF PROBATION NOW AND YOU CAN'T STOP ME FROM
\ | .-' DISTRIBUTING LEAFLETS ABOUT MY CAUSE OR
\| .-' ORGANIZING PROTESTS IN FRONT OF YOUR HOMES!!@
+
FUCK YOU AND YOU AND YOU,
HENRY
P.S. IT'S TOTALLY BECAUSE OF YOU THAT I RETURNED A PLAYSTATION

CARTRIDGE TO BLOCKBUSTER LATE
%
\\\ I HAVE TO MASTURBATE COVERTLY IN PRIVATE
(oO)
/C \ I'D BEAT OFF IN PUBLIC (HIDING BEHIND
/__/\\ BUSHES AND SIGNS) BUT I'M A SCREAMER
\\__//
__> U<__
_\/_ Mparre
%
____
/___.`--.____ .--. ____.--(
.'_.- ( ) -._'. I'M A TNT ORIGINAL
.'.' |'..'| '.'.
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(O).)-| | \ | | / | |-(.(O)
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.' _ | | | __ | | | _ '.
/ .' ''.| | / \ | |.'' '. \
| |( )| '. || || .' |( )| |
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//\\ | |--::--| | //\\
// \\ | |--::--| | // \\
// \\| /|--::--|\ |// \\
/ '._.-'/|_______/ |--::--| \_______|\`-._.' \
/ __..--' /__|--::--|__\ `--..__ \
/ / '-.|--::--|.-' \ \
/ / |--::--| \ \
/ / |--::--| \ \
_.-' `-._ _..||.._ _.-` '-._
'--..__..--' LGB '-.____.-' '--..__..-'
%
WHAT IF I'M GAY
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%
THIS IS A STEAMING TURD I ATE, PROCESSED
WITHIN MY ALIMENTARY CANAL, AND SHIT OUT
AGAIN !!!!! ASCII ART RULES !!!!!!!!!!!!!1
(
) /
( ( (##)---._ _
) b "' `-----
_ _ _ \ ( 88_
`-----(##) ___888b__
"' _d888888888b (
( ___d888888888888_ )
) d88888888888888888b (
( d8888888888888888888__
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d88888888888888888888888888b
888888888888888888888888888P
Y8888Zot888888888888888888P
ALSO THOSE FLYING THINGS ARE POO SPACESHIPS

%
.::7777::-.
/:'////' `::>/|/ ,.-----__
.', |||| `/( e\ ,:::://///,:::-.
-==~-'`-Xm````-mr' `-_\ /:''/////// ``:::`;/|/
/' |||||| :://'`\
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RIDDLE ME THIS !!!!

IF I HAVE SEX WITH AN ANIMAL OF THE SAME GENDER
(ARMADILLOS PICTURED HERE AS AN EXAMPLE)
DOES THAT MAKE ME GAY OR AM I JUST SPLITTING HAIRS ??????
%
_.._
," "\ RAPE IS NOT ABOUT PHYSICAL ATTRACTION OR SEXUAL
/ _ | ATTRIBUTES IT IS PLAIN AND SIMPLE ABOUT CONTROL
[' ", _ ;
| (2" "`\ ALSO THE VIDEO GAME COINS THAT POP OUT OF THEIR
`:`\, _' BODIES WHEN YOU DO IT SUCH AS IN MARIO BROTHERS
|[``-_`~\ OR PERHAPS SIMPSONS: HIT AND RUN
\|\\ _/"'
"--" itz EVERY HUNDRED YOU GET AN EXTRA LIFE
%
.
/| FOLKS THERE'S A POO POKING
|@/ NOBODY PANIC
_/" EVERYBODY REMAIN CALM
_/==\__ NO SUDDEN MOVES
(==---==) NO SUDDEN MOVES
/%/_________\ OH MY GOD HERE IT
/#(_|_|_|_|_|_) FOR THE LOVE OF GBHALF HLSHFLKSHFLK
|#(_|_|_|_|_|_|_)
|#(|_|_|_|_|_|_|)
|#(_|_|_|_|_|_|_)
\#(_|_|_|_|_|_)
\#|_|_|_|_|_/ GOD HELP ME IT'S EVERYWHERE
AL '"-------"
%
I WENT TO BED AT 10 AND WOKE UP A NECROPHILE
/
o /
I / o
o /I H
I/ I______,'_._"_-,-___o__H
I / ,Z .| H /H
I/____E-_-"k_ P___H/ H
I_________\ /____H
I (=_-*+*" H RJ
%
WHICH WAS BETTER?? CLOCKSTOPPERS OR HOLES
.--.
,-.------+-.| ,-.
,--=======* )"("")===)===* )
o `-"---==-+-"| `-"
O '--' JW
%
I'M SMILING BECAUSE I JUST GOT AWAY SCOT-FREE
WITH MOLESTING MY KIDS
___A___
/ | \
/ __ | __ \
|/ o\_/o \|
(.--(_)--.)
.===/.-'\_/`-.\===.
.'\ / \ / `.
/___ |_\ /_|___\_
<____>'\ `. ,' /`<____>
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|| \`-----|-----'/
|| \--.__|__,--/
|| |____|____|
|| <_____X_____>
/A || A\ \....|..../
// \||/ \\ \ | /
(( [] )) / v | v \
\\ / \ // / ,^ \
\V V/ `--' `--' hjw/Zot
%
I'M FROM A RETARDED COUNTRY
. SO I SAY "M8" A LOT
/\ /l
((.Y(! /
\ |/ /
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\ _ +-.
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\ \
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| `L | Y .^/~T
| l ! | |/| |
| .`\/' | Y | ! RC
l "~ j l j_L______
\,____{ __"~ __ ,\_,\_
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
%
, COULD YOU PLEASE BEAT OFF MORE QUIETLY
, |\ ,__ (SHOUTING OVER DRILLING SOUND OF
|\ \/ `. JACK HAMMER)
\ `-.:. `\
`-.__ `\=====|
/=`'/ ^_\
.' /\ .=)
.-' .'| '-(/_|
.' __( \ .'`
/_.'` `. |`
jgs \ |
|/
%
CAN I JUST BE ON RECORD BY SAYING
LEXINGTON STEELE FRIGHTENS ME
_.._
/____\__ /
$$-#-#$ /
$$\_=/$ ____/
$$J L$_
.''$I`' I \
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/ / \ /, ;
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\ \ / . \/
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Y: \_/ :
: | :
\ | /
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: | :
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) | (
(_ \_\_ dp
`"'"'
%
_ Q: WHAT'S A WOMAN WHO WOULD EVEN CONSIDER GETTING
, L\ BREAST REDUCTION FOR A SPLIT SECOND ??????
\/OO\
|/ \
/_\ `
AP _\ |_ A: A FRIGID BITCH WHO DUMPED ME LAST SUMMER
%
____________ BUT YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
/\ /\
/ \ / \ THE WORD "WACKO" RHYMES WITH "JACKO"
/____\______/ \
\ / \ / BY LAW "JACKO GOES WACKO" IS REQUIRED
\ / \ /
\/__________\/ AMERICA LIKES THINGS THAT RHYME
%
0_
\`. ___
\ \ / __>0
/\ / |/' / I'M SSHING THE UNICODE STANDARD PAGE BY
/ \/ ` ,`'--. PAGE SO I CAN NMAP IT BACK TO ME VIA
/ /(___________)_ \ AN SNMP CABLE
|/ //.-. .-.\\ \ \
0 // :@ ___ @: \\ \/ NO I DON'T KNOW WHAT I'M DOING BUT I'M
( o ^(___)^ o ) 0 YOUR TECHNICAL SUPPORT REPRESENTATIVE
\ \_______/ /
/\ '._______.'--.
\ /| |<_____> |
\ \__|<_____>____/|__
\____<_____>_______/
|<_____> |
|<_____> |
:<_____>____:
/ <_____> /|
/ <_____> / |
/___________/ |
| | _|__
| | ---||_
| |L\/|/ | | [__]
| \|||\|\ | /
jgs | | /
|___________|/
%
__
,====, WHAT DO WILLIE NELSON AND KERMIT THE FROG
((`. .)) BOTH HAVE IN COMMON ??????
)) =/(
/ `-, A CASE OF TERTIARY PNEUMONIA DUE TO AIDS
/ )
/ (0)}
( oô~`-,
/`--'~ \
| \
\_ _,-> \
" (__,___._) miK
%
__________...----..____..-'``-..___
,'. ```--.._
: ``._
| -- ``.
| <o> -.- -. - -. `.
: __ -- . \
`._____________ ( `. -.- -- - . ` \
`-----------------\ \_.--------..__..--.._ `. `. :
`--' `-._ . |
`.` |
\` | SSt
\ |
I'M COWBOYNEAL / \`.
/ _\-'
/_,'
%
`Mb
`b ..rmMMbmy..
`b .dMP"' `"VMb.
`b .p' `Mb
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q. ,dP `b ,MP"' `"MMb.
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MM MM' AIDS
`P `P
--====-- --====-- ---======---
EVERBODY FOLLOW THE BOUNCING AIDS !!! YOU KNOW YOU WANNA
%
_ ___ _.--.
\`.|\..----...-'` `-._.-'_.-'`
/ ' ` , __.--'
)/' _/ \ `-_, /
`-'" `"\_ ,_.-;_.-\_ ', fsc/as
_.-'_./ {_.' ; /
{_.-``-' {_/
1. THEY ARE GOOD FOR HOLDING FRUIT

2. TEACH IT TO FETCH A BALL AND THEN KICK IT
3. DON'T FEED IT FOR A MONTH AND WATCH IT DIE
4. CALL FOR THEM TO COME TO YOU AND THEN PISS ON THEM
5. PUNCH THEM IN THE WHISKERS AND EAT THEM
_..
/}_{\ /.-'
( a a )-.___...-'/
==._.== ;
\ i _..._ /,
{_;/ {_// fsc
6. STICK ITS HEAD IN THE TOILET AND FLUSH

7. SEE IF THEY REALLY LAND ON THEIR FEET
8. TAKE THEIR RECTAL TEMPERATURE WITH YOUR TONGUE
9. SQUEEZE THEM UNTIL THEY THROW UP
10. CRUSH THEIR LITTLE HEADS WITH A REALLY HEAVY DICTIONARY
.^----^.
(= o O =)
(___V__)
cf _|==|_
___/' |--| |
/ ,._| | | '
| \__ |__}-|__}
\___)`
11. PUT THEM IN YOUR PANTS AND DON'T LET THEM OUT
12. TELL THEM A LONG JOKE AND DON'T TELL THEM THE PUNCHLINE
13. BUY IT DRINKS AND DINNER AND THEN TAKE ADVANTAGE OF IT
14. FEED IT DRAINO AND WATCH IT ROLL AROUND ON THE FLOOR
15. CUT ITS SPHINCTER SO IT CRAPS ALL THE TIME
/\_/\
>^.^<.---.
_'-`-' )\
(6--\ |--\ (`.`-.
--' --' ``-'BP cat
16. TEST ITS AERODYNAMIC CAPABILITIES

17. GET IT STONED AND TRY TO MAKE IT SUCK YOU
18. PUT IT IN THE WASHING MACHINE THEN IN THE DRYER
19. FEED IT BEANS AND THEN LIGHT ITS FARTS ON FIRE
20. PUT IT IN THE MICROWAVE FOR A WHILE BECAUSE IT'S BEEN IN THE RAIN
.----------------.
/__________________\
||\ ________ /| _ |
|| |: :| |o(_)|
|| |;-""""-;| |o(_)|
|| |________| | __ |
||/__________\|[__]| hjw
"------------------"
%
THERE'S A SHORTAGE OF CHAIRS IN HEAVEN
.-""-._
/ ___/ \ _&_
_.--""|/ `\| // \\
.' ( ^/ ^ )'. / / \ \
/ | _ | \ // / \ \\
| _\____/ | /_/_/_\_\_\
| .' \____/-._ | .-"-.
| / `; /# \
| / / _|_.---\ | |
|.-.; :--.-(_/.____/.-""\___/"-.
/ \ / ~~/ /\ \{"=.______.="}
/--. ; /___/_~~/ ; .--\"=...__...="}
/ \-/ `\______|/ \-.______..-;
| /`| | \ | |||| ||
| /_ | |_______/ | |||| ||
| \_/| |-------' |--'||'--._||
| | | | || |>
|______| |____________|._ || _..-;|
| [___] | `||() ||
|______ |\/|____________|jgs|| ()
(__) \__/ (__) ()
%
,--./,-. WHO DRINKS APPLE JUICE PAST AGE 3 ANYWAY
/ # \
| |
\ / hjw
`._,._,'
,--./,-. I MEAN OTHER THAN PEDOPHILES OBVIOUSLY

/,-._.--~\
__} {
\`-._,-`-,
`._,._,' hjw
%
/==N CONSIDER MERCURY (PICTURED LEFT)
/ |
CH---N | IF WE SUBTRACT ONE PROTON FROM MERCURY AND
3 \ | THREE NEUTRONS WE CONVERT IT TO GOLD
\==|
/ \ THE DREAM OF THE ANCIENT ALCHEMISTS
/ \
O==< N--CH
\ / 3
N--<
/ \\
/ \\
CH O
3
Jittlov
%
_____, _..-=-=-=-=-====--,
_.'a / .-',___,..=--=--==-'`
( _ \ / //___/-=---=----'
` `\ / //---/--==----=-'
,-. | / \_//-_.'==-==---=' MORE HOT SAUCE
(.-.`\ | |'../-'=-=-=-=--'
(' `\`\| //_|-\.`;-~````~, _
\ | \_,_,_\.' \ .'_`\
`\ , , \ || `\\
\ / _.--\ \ '._.'/ / |
/ /`---' \ \ |`'---' \/
/ /' \ ;-. \
jgs __/ / __) \ ) `|
((='--;) (,___/(,_/
%
FROM NOW ON I'LL ONLY BE
DRINKING DESIGNER URINE
//
//
//
//
_______||
,-''' ||`-.
( || )
|`-..._______,..-'|
| || |
| _______|| |
|,-'''_ _ ~ ||`-.|
| ~ / `-.\ ,-'\ ~|
|`-...___/___,..-'|
| `-./-'_ \/_| |
| -' ~~ || -.|
jrei ( ~ ~ ~~ )
`-..._______,..-'
%
____ _
__--( ( \
/ \--U )
/ ) ) \ \
()/ \\_ \\_
'-' '~` Alyssa
IT'S A BIRD .....

IT'S A PLANE ......
NO, IT'S ..... IT'S .......
A COMPLETELY INCOMPREHENSIBLE ASCII ART DRAWING MADE BY A RETARD GIRL

%
. -- .
( )
( (/oo\) ) R. KELLY PISSED ON ME
( \`'/ )
( \/ ) I DON'T REALLY LIKE TO TALK ABOUT IT
( )
( ) PLEASE TURN OFF THE CAMERA
( )
( ) THIS INTERVIEW IS OVER
` -- '
= =
= =
%
.o00o
o000000oo I'M TIRED OF HEARING ABOUT THE
00000000000o FALTERING ECONOMY AND THE WAR
00000000000000 IN IRAQ
oooooo 00000000 o88o
ooOOOOOOOoo ```'' 888888 WHAT ABOUT **MY** NEEDS
OOOOOOOOOOOO'.qQQQQq. `8888'
oOOOOOOOOOO'.QQQQQQQQQQ/.88' I MEAN I HAVEN'T BEEN WIPED
OOOOOOOOOO'.QQQQQQQQQQ/ /q IN WEEKS
OOOOOOOOO QQQQQQQQQQ/ /QQ
OOOOOOOOO `QQQQQQ/ /QQ'
OO:F_P:O `QQQ/ /Q'
\\. \ | // |
d\ \\\|_////
qP| \\ _' `|Ob
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_ /\. \_/ /\
`---__/|_\\ //| __
`-' `-'`-'-'
%
w W w
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|
|
o .:.:.:. | IT SMELLS LIKE FISH DOWN HERE
wwWWWww //
((c ))"""(( //|
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o / / c((-(((')))-.// |
/===/ `) (( )))(( ,_/ |
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/ c c ((^^^^^^`\ |
|c c c c((^^^ ^^^`\ |
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\ -` c__/|/ \|jgs
`---' ' '
%
~
/~ THE ONION IS KIND OF FUNNY IF YOU SQUINT
\ \ /** AND ONLY READ THE FIRST SENTENCE OF THE
\ //// ONE-LINER JOKE WHICH LASTS TWENTY PARAGRAPHS
// // AND IF YOU ACTUALLY DON'T REALLY PAY
// // ATTENTION TO WHAT THEY WROTE AND INSTEAD
///&// MAKE UP YOUR OWN PUNCHLINE OR BETTER YET
/ & /\ \ JUST KIND OF DON'T EVEN READ THE HEADLINES
/ & .,, \ AND IMAGINE SOMETHING THAT MIGHT HAVE BEEN
/& % : \ FUNNY AND CHUCKLE AT THAT INSTEAD
/& % : ; `\
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./' "--`\// YOU HAVEN'T LIVED UNTIL YOU'VE
./ o \ SUCKED A COCK IN A HERRING STALL
././\ )______ \__ \
/./ / /\ \ | \ \ \ \ YOU HEARD ME
./ / / \ \ | |\ \ \7
" " " " FUCKING LOOK IT UP
%
IF YOU FUCKING FRENCH PEOPLE DON'T ZIP YOUR TRAPS THEN:
' ______
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,-----.
#,-. ,-.# WELL I GOT UP THIS MORNING
() a e () AND I'M PRETTY SURE THAT'S
( (_) ) A SIN AGAINST SOMETHING OR OTHER
#\_ - _/#
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.-._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ MARISKA HARGITAY SURE HAS
.-''-.__.-'00 '-' ' ' ' ' ' ' ' '-. DYKED IT UP BIGTIME
'.___ ' . .--_'-' '-' '-' _'-' '._
V: V 'vv-' '_ '. .' _..' '.'.
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(((____.-' '-. / : :
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%
$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$ APPARENTLY IF SUBSCRIBE TO
$$$$$$$$$P^""^T$$$$$$P^""^T$$$$$$$$$ GAMESPY I CAN DOWNLOAD SICKLE
$$$$$$P" "^^" "T$$$$$$ CELL ANEMIA FOR FREE
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$$$$P >< >< x88' T$$$$ TOM CLANCY'S SICKLE CELL
$$$$ '88" "88' "" $$$$ ANEMIA
$$$$p "" "" g$$$$
$$$$$. .$$$$$ T-T-TAKE THAT MALARIA
$$$$$$p. .d$$b. .g$$$$$$
$$$$$$$$$b.__.d$$$$$$b.__.d$$$$$$$$$
$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$ fsc $$$$
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I THOUGHT, GIVEN WIKIPEDIA'S USUAL HIGH CALIBER AND THOROUGHNESS
THAT THE ENTRY FOR ASCII ART MIGHT MENTION US AT LEAST IN PASSING
GUESS I WAS WRONG !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! GOODBYE CRUEL WORLD
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________________________________________________________
/ ____________________________________________________ \
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| |<_> <_> <_> <_> <_> <_> <_> <_> <_> <_> <_> <_> <_> | |
| |_|___|___|___|___|___|___|___|___|___|___|___|___|__| |
| ____________________________________________________ |
| | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | |
| |<_> <_> <_> <_> <_> <_> <_> <_> <_> <_> <_> <_> <_> | |
| |<_> <_> <_> <_> <_> <_> <_> <_> <_> <_> <_> <_> <_> | |
| |<_> <_> <_> <_> <_> <_> <_> <_> <_> <_> <_> <_> <_> | |
| |<_> <_> <_> <_> <_> <_> <_> <_> <_> <_> <_> <_> <_> | |
| |<_>_<_>_<_>_<_>_<_>_<_>_<_>_<_>_<_>_<_>_<_>_<_>_<_>_| |
\___________________________________________________LGB__/
IT IS REMARKABLY EASY TO BEAT OFF TO MATHWORLD

%
I HAVE A DISTINCT SENSATION
OF BURNING WHEN I URINATE
/ LOL !!!!!!!!!!!!!
/
/ GNAA RULES !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
/
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.===. _ | `---. __;;;;;__ / | _ `\\\\
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||( \\____ __|__\__ | /_______\ | / | ____// ) ||
|| '.____(==-.[_______,]__.-[_________]-.___/,__\_.-==)____,' ||
|| '-(_____________/_______________________/________)--' '||
\ \______'|| \ ||| | / \ ||/ _____/ /
\_______)|| / || \_________/ \ / |/ ,'_____.'
.=\/ ||\ \ || \ /--o / \ / / -=||
__/\__ || .__ / || ___|_|___ \ / ___/ / __||__
---O---O--O-||._.-'----\---''-d--d---b--b--'---\-"-._,'--O--O---O--
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~' '~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
%
,,
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` ,"'-;;=,' v `.;;/
|` | '|' NOT TO BE CONFUSED WITH HOLLY BODY
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|\ /| |\ /|
| \ / | |\\ //|
| | | | | \| |/ |
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\ |_| / \||_||/ WHEN FRIAR TUCK SAYS
.' '. .' '. NO DICKLICKING IN THE
| | |o o| BRIAR PATCH .........
/ \ /= Y =\ WHOO BOY HE MEANS IT
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%
HOW CONVENIENT IT IS THAT ARABIC IS JUST LIKE GERMAN:
YOU KNOW RIGHT AWAY THAT ANYBODY SPEAKING IT IS A BAD GUY
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HEY PEOPLE THE TRUTH IN UPPERCASE IS STILL THE TRUTH

%
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I MAY HAVE RSI AFTER CLICKING MY MOUSE BUTTON

FIFTY THOUSAND TIMES BUT IT WAS WORTH IT TO GET
THE SILVER ENCRUSTED AMULET OF DOUCHEBAGGERY
%
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DOES THIS LOOK INFECTED

%
____
/___.`--.____ .--. ____.--(
.'_.- ( ) -._'. HOW THE HELL CAN WE
.'.' |'..'| '.'. GET TO THE MOON IF
.-. .' /'--.__|____|__.--'\ '. .-. WE CAN'T EVEN TALK
(O).)-| | \ | | / | |-(.(O) BETWEEN TWO OR THREE
`-' '-'-._'-./ \.-'_.-'-' `-' BUILDINGS
_ | | '-.________.-' | | _
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%
HERE I AM ADMIRING SOMETHING OR OTHER AND JUST THINKING ABOUT
TIMES PAST AND HAPPY THOUGHTS
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THEN SUDDENLY VRRRRP VRRRRP I'M TRAVELLING BACK IN TIME TO WHEN

I WAS MOLESTED AS AN INFANT
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.- m\ MY NUTS ARE ON THE HIGHEST
(( ` /|\ /| POSSIBLE STATE OF ALERT (RED)
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,.,
('=(""")=') READ MY POLYAMORY/ANDROGYNY/QUEER HET/MORBID OBESITY
'))|*_*|((' FAQ
(' \ = / ')
' _) (_ ' ISN'T IT CONVENIENT THAT FREAKS LIKE ME WILLINGLY
/|'~~~'|\ SINGLE THEMSELVES OUT SO THAT WHEN JUDGEMENT DAY
/,(_ _),\ COMES THERE'S ALREADY A CHECK NEXT TO OUR NAME
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\/.--,
//_.' I CAN'T BELIEVE ANANDA LEWIS SOLD OUT
.-""-/""-.
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%
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IN MY HONEST OPINION THE INTRODUCTION IN

PHANTOM MENACE OF THE FAUX-SCIENTIFIC
CONCEPT OF MIDICHLORIANS TO EXPLAIN THE
FORCE DID LITTLE MORE THAN DETRACT FROM
THE STAR WARS MYSTIQUE
%
, _ {`--. DO PEOPLE REALLY SPEND THE
{ \/ò;====- {:}'-.}>, WHOLE DAY IN THE TOILET ????
.----'-/`-/ {.--' )) _
`'-..-| / __ // /_/
/\/\ \_\_((_/___ PEOPLE DO
jgs `--` )) \_\
%
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WHERE DOES THE ART END AND THE SIGNATURE BEGIN ??!??!
YOU BE THE JUDGE BECAUSE ALL MODERN ART IS CRAP
%
_._
.' `. TODAY IS THE FIRST DAY OF THE REST OF
| | MY HORRIBLE EXCRUCIATING EXISTENCE AS
"=======" A COMPULSIVE PERVERT (I STEAL WOMENS'
$ ^ ^ $ PANTIES AND THEN SNIFF THEM WHEN I'M
` # ' ALONE)
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%
_____
/ '`-._ ANDREW W.K.'S MUSIC MAKES ME FEEL
| -. \ LIKE IT'S 1986 AGAIN AND WE ALL
_.,--. '----- | / HAVEN'T REALIZED HOW FUCKING
,-'' `. / ,' TOTALLY LAME HEAVY METAL MUSIC
/' _--\ | ___ | / IS YET
| ' | |,.''' ''--:_
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%
HEY IS ANYONE OUT THERE ????? ,~~~~~~~~~~~~~,
IF YOU AREN'T GOING TO LET ME : `D\D\.- :
OUT OF THIS BOX THEN JUST : (0.0 \ :
PLEASE KILL ME SOONER RATHER : \`-'j ) :
THAN LATER I CAN'T FEEL MY : `_ -\ :
FINGERS OR TOES ANYMORE THERE : (|| ( j__ :
ISN'T EVEN ENOUGH ROOM IN : c_|-c_j--,):
HERE TO PROPERLY END MY LIFE `~~~~~~~~~~~~'
%
.
.:::. NUTPUNCH IS ONE WORD
.:::::::.
V^V^V^V^V^V
(| ^ ^ |) (THERE I SAID IT)
| (_) |
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AS WE CAN CLEARLY SEE FROM HARLAN ELLISON SOME OF THE

FINEST SCIENCE FICTION AUTHORS ARE FORGED FROM THE
ADVERSITY OF BEING SHORT, BITTER LITTLE CREEPS WHO
HAVE TO FEND WITH THEIR INNER DEMONS VIA ALCOHOL AND
GETTING INTO FIGHTS
I'M SORRY "FUTURISTS" !!!! HE GETS MAD IF YOU CALL HIM

A SCIENCE FICTION AUTHOR OR SHORT OR POINT OUT THAT HE'S
TALENTLESS OR MENTION THAT YOU MADE A MOVIE THAT WAS
INSPIRED BY AN UNRELATED STORY OR ABOUT ONE OF A THOUSAND
OTHER THINGS
YOU FUCKING HACK

%
LIFE GOT HARDER AFTER THE SEX OFFENDER
/!_.-_|\ REGISTRY WENT ONLINE BUT NOT SO HARD THAT
`-/_'--/ I STOPPED CHICKENHAWKING ALTOGETHER
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/\_/\____, I'M SUPPOSED TO BE GUARDING
,___/\_/\ \ ~ / THE GATES TO HELL BUT I'M
\ ~ \ ) XXX GOING TO HUFF SPRAY PAINT FUMES
XXX / /\_/\___, FROM THIS PLASTIC BAG INSTEAD
\o-o/-o-o/ ~ /
) / \ XXX YES WITH ALL THREE HEADS
_| / \ \_/
,-/ _ \_/ \ AM I SUPPOSED TO KEEP PEOPLE
/ ( /____,__| ) OUT OR KEEP PEOPLE IN ????
( |_ ( ) \) _|
_/ _) \ \__/ (_ HOLY SHIT I GOTTA SIT DOWN
b'ger (,-(,(,(,/ \,),),)
%
_.---.( ..--._)
(_.' `''-.'` `'. MY CHECK BOUNCED SO ALL MY
/ / \_) PERSONAL STALKERS ARE GONE
(_| _,.-'""'-,-'""'-.,_ |
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DON'T OPEN ME IN THE HOUSE
OR THERE WILL BE A BRIEF
NOISE ("FUMP") FOLLOWED BY
RAPE THEN WAKING UP IN THE
EMERGENCY ROOM WITH STITCHES
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%
.--.--.--.--.
/ / / / |\ WHY IS IT THAT WHEN AL PACINO'S BEST
/ / / / / \ WORKS ARE LISTED "CRUISING" IS NEVER
| |> / EVEN MENTIONED
| | /
| /
| /
| __ .'
/ .'
/ /
/ /
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/ /
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/
%
___ LET'S SEE IF I CAN DRINK ENOUGH
{-) |\ EGG NOG TO TRANSFORM MYSELF
[m,].-"-. / INTO A CHICKEN !!!!!!
[][__][__] $/\__/$/
[__][__][__][__]~~~~ | | PRETTY SURE THAT'S HOW IT WORKS
[][__][__][__][__][] / | WITHOUT A WAND OF POLYMORPH
[__][__][__][__][__]| /| |
[][__][__][__][__][]| || | ~~~~
ejm [__][__][__][__][__]__,__, \__/
%
_.--._ _.--._
,-=.-":;:;:;\':;:;:;"-._ AND NOW TO READ A PASSAGE FROM
\\\:;:;:;:;:;\:;:;:;:;:;\ RICHARD GRIECO'S NEW AUTOBIOGRAPHY
\\\:;:;:;:;:;\:;:;:;:;:;\ "MY TURN"
\\\:;:;:;:;:;\:;:;:;:;:;\
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,'_;-'' JUST CHOW RIGHT DOWN
,,~
i' YOU SICKEN ME
:
%
/^\
L L / \ L L
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/____/ \____/`-._> / \ <_.-`\____/ \____\
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/____/ /__/ / . \ \__\ \____\
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/__`-`__\ <_ `-; NDT_> /__`-`__\
`-` `-._ ; _.-` `-`
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ONE TWO THREE FOUR WE'RE GOING TO SUCK COCK

(THINGS HAVE ESCALATED WAY PAST THUMB WARS HERE)
%
_____
_.'_____`._
.'.-' 12 `-.`. THIS IS THE WEIRDEST
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:: ;;
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((-._____.-))
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%
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%
., _
/ `
((|))))) 1. PUNCH
((/ a a 2. PUSH
))) >) 3. PUNCH
((((._e(( 4. PUT ON LIPSTICK
,--/ (-. 5. SLAP
/ \ <\/>/|
/ /) Lo )|
/ / ) / |
| / ( /
| / ;/
||( |
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|/'/\ \_____\
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) )/ /
/ / /
/ | /
/ | /
/ ||
/ ||
'-,_ |_\
( '"'-`
gpyy \(\_\
%
_______
( _____ ) WE FALL INTO THREE CATEGORIES !!!!!!!
/ / - - \ \
| |-O-O-| | 1. FRIGID BITCHES
|( () )| 2. DISGUSTING WHORES
| \ \_/ / | 3. PARAPLEGICS
/ --- \
(___) (___)
%
,'''''-._
; ,. <> `-._ MICHAEL JACKSON MOLESTED
; \' _,--'" ME TOO
; (
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jrei `.`-._ _, ,- __,-
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--' `;
%
_ _ DON'T MAKE ME FUCK YOU
,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, \ / UP G !!!!!!!!!!
/ ( ( ( ( ( ( ( ( \ [ = =]
< ( ( ( ( ( ( ( ( / { ^ } /
cfbd \ (__(__(__(__(__(__(__(__) ~ ____/
^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^
%
.-'"'-.
/ `. ,' \ IT HURTS MY MOUTH TO STRETCH IT OVER THIS OBJECT
| ,' `. | BUT I'LL DO IT ANYWAY
| ___ |
\ ( . ) /
'-.:.-'
.:.
:::
:::
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'
%
__/ \__ CHECK OUT MY ASSHOLE
_\/\/_
\_\_\/_/_/ IT'S LIKE STARING INTO THE FACE OF GOD
/ /_/\_\ \
__/\/\__ ASK IT QUESTIONS, COO AT IT
\ /
%
.. WHY IS ALAN SHEPARD SAYING I SHOULD
|\\ PUT THE LOTION IN THE BASKET
.====^^\\==.
|\ || |\
:X"====^^===='
\|XXXXXXXXXX|
""""""""""" kya
%
___+._______
__-"" -- __"""----._____
__.--"" -- ___--+---_____. __ .+'| IS THIS THE ONE WHO
_.-'"" __ +:"__ | ._..+"" __ .+' F WAS THROWING UP IN
J"--.____ __ """""+" .+' .J F HIS STERILE SUIT
J """""---.___ -- .+'" F' F AND RESCUING ROBIN
L """""--...+' .J F WILLIAMS FROM THE
L F"9 --. | . F' J LAND OF FAIRIES ???
L -_J L_J F"9 | ;'J .+J .J J
| L_J | F.' .'| J F' J OH I THOUGHT YOU
| |"""--.__ | ' |"" J J SAID CUBA
J ._ J ;;; | "L | . |-___J |
J L J J ;-' | L | .'J |_ .' . |
J "" J .---_L F"9 | F.' | .' FJ |
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%
.===.
/ _/\ \
\/6.6\/
( _ ) I HAVEN'T TAKEN A CRAP IN FIFTEEN DAYS
_)---(_
/ `~` \ IS THAT A BAD THING
/\/ \/\
\ | | /
\|_____|/
| L |
|__|__|
| | |
|_|_|
jgs _|_|_|_
(___|___)
%
/~~~~~~~~~~~~\_ MY ASS HURTS SO
_+=+_ _[~ /~~~~~~~~~~~~\_ PLEASE USE THE
{""|""} [~~~ [~ /~~~~~~~~~\_ MOUTH TODAY
""":-'~[~[~"~[~ ((++ [~ _/~~~~~~~~\_
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rm <"_V_"> \\ \ ~~~~~~\\ \
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<"_V_"> <"_V_">
%
__________________AAAA_______________AAAA______________________
VVVV VVVV
(__) (__)
\ \ / /
\ \ \\|||// / /
> \ _ _ / <
> \ / \ / \ / <
> \\_o_o_// < AFTER WEEKS OF WORRYING
> ( (_) ) < ABOUT THIS HORRIBLE
>| |< BLOOD BLISTER I HAD I
/ |\___/| \ FINALLY SCREWED UP THE
/ (_____) \ COURAGE TO GO TO THE DOCTOR
/ \ AND GET IT CHECKED OUT
/ o \ AND IT TURNS OUT IT WAS JUST
) ___ ( MY DICK
/ / \ \
( / \ )
>< ><
///\ /\\\
''' ''' MB
%
______________ A POO POKES
| |____| | |
| .' `. | | THE POO LEFT
| : (_)|
| : : | IT SURE DID MAKE A BIG DEAL OUT OF IT THOUGH
| : : | (SHIT, BLOOD SMEARED ON WALLS, DOZENS OF
| `.____.' | CORPSES SCATTERED EVERYWHERE, SOUND OF
_|______________|_ APPROACHING SIRENS)
KCK
(3-3-34 IS CLOSE ENOUGH TO 5-7-5 FOR OUR PURPOSES)

%
:YMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM-M
!!!!!YMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM-M--M
!!!!!!!!"MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM.-'- .'||
!!!!!!!!!!!!!YMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM-:-:'| .-' ||
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!M || .-' | | ||
oooooooooo!!!!!!!M || | | | ||
XXXXXXXXXXXb!!!!!M || | | | ||
$$$$$$$$hdXb!!!!!M || | | | ||
$$$$$$$$$dXb!!!!!M || | | | ||
$$$$$$$$$pXb!!!!!M || | | | ||
XXXXXXXXXXXb!!!!!M || | | | ||
PPPPPPPPPPP!!!!!!M || | | | ||
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!M dm __ || | | | ||
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!M `MM. _,MMb || | | | ||
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!M `MMm ,MP' __ ,m || | | | ||
!!!!!!!!!MMMMM!!!M `MMYMMF dMMoMMMMMM"MM || | | | ||
!!!!!!!!!M###M!!!M dMMMMMMm. "' qMMMMMP ' || | ' ...-==|
!!!!!!!!!MMMMM!!!M YMMMMMMMP "MMMM" || .--''' dMM|
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!M `MMPP'. _mmMPmmmYMmmmm. || +---== `````"|
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!M ,mMMMMMMMmMMMmMMMMMMMMMMMMMm8MPPM|| | | | ||
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!M dMMMMMMM$""'MMMM'MMMMMMMMM' || | | | ||
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!M ,dMMMMMb ' MMMMMMM' || | | | ||
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!M ;MMP `MMM. MMMMMMM || | | | ||
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!M 8MM `MMP mmmmmmmmm || | | | ||
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!M ' " dMMMMMMMMMb || | | | ||
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!M ,MMMMMMMMMMMM || | | | ||
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!M MMMMMMMMMMMMMY || | | | ||
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!M 'MMP MM8 || | | | ||
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!M MM$ 8Mb || | | | ||
=================M YMM dM' || | | | ||
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!M ]M[ dM || | | | ||
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!M [:dg:] `Mb YM || | | | ||
#################MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM`-.'-._ | | ||
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!' :: :: `-..`' | ||
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!' ::. ::. `-.,`-..||
!!!!!!!!!!!!!' '::: ::' `-._ |
!!!!!!!!!!!!' :::: ::' `-|
!!!!!!!!!!!' ::::: :::' |
!!!!!!!!!!' '::::: :::' |
!!!!!!!!' ,::::: ::::' |
!!!!!!!' ,:::::: ::::; |
!!!!!!' ::::::: :::::\ |
!!!!' :::::::: ::::::' |
!!!' :::::::: ::::::: |
!!' ::::::::: :::::::: |
' ':::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::;:::. |
;::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::' |
`;::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::' |
`:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::/ |
`:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::/ |
Y::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::' |
____________________________;::::::::::::::::::::::::::::;___________|
MOMMY I'M GOING TO STAB YOU TO DEATH WITH THIS STRANGELY SHAPED KNIFE
WHILE YOU'RE SLEEPING
SERIOUSLY IT'S A KNIFE NOT A TEDDY BEAR
LOOK WHY CAN'T YOU JUST TAKE MY WORD ON THIS IT'S REALLY A STABBING
OR PERHAPS BLUNT INSTRUMENT OF SOME KIND WHICH IS REALLY CAPABLE
OF DOING SERIOUS DAMAGE PARTICULARLY TO SOMEONE WHO IS UNCONSCIOUS
JESUS WHY DO WE HAVE TO HAVE THIS CONVERSATION EVERY TIME I BRING THIS
UP YES I KNOW IT LOOKS LIKE IT'S A HARMLESS FUZZY TEDDY BEAR BUT
IT REALLY IS A LETHAL INSTRUMENT PARTICULARLY WHEN USED BY A TRAINED
PROFESSIONAL
NO I'M NOT A TRAINED PROFESSIONAL I'M A GODDAMN THREE YEAR OLD BUT
I WAS JUST TRYING TO MAKE A POINT
FINE IT'S A FUCKING TEDDY BEAR BUT I'M STILL GOING TO SMOTHER YOU
WITH IT
%
VE CALL ZIS SPUNKHAFTE FERNWIRKUNGEN
,---,_ ,
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>,-' ._'.. ..__ . ' '-.
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jgs \; \ ;/
\ .-, )-. /
/` .'-'. `\
;_.-`.___.'-.;
THAT'S RIGHT -- SPUNK AT A DISTANCE

%
LET'S START A CULT THAT IS TRYING TO BRING
ABOUT THE END OF THE WORLD
.========. .========.
// I .'..' \ // VI.'.,".\
|| II .'..'| || VII..'..|
|| III .'."| || VIII,'.'|
|| IV ,','.| || IX.'".'.|
|| V '..'.'| || X .'..',|
.\_________/ .\_________/ jgs
OKAY IT WILL NOT BE A CULT IT WILL JUST BE ME

%
MY BUBBLE-LIPPED FRIEND (C. 1985)
,-. ,.---'''^\ O
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jrei ( '' ) | |
`----' `-....-'
IF I COULD PUT GAY IN A BOTTLE / WELL I SURE THE FUCK WOULD

%
______________________
|,----.,----.,----.,--.\ WORST
|| || || || \\ BANG
|`----'`----'|----||----\`. BUS
[ | -||- __|(| EVER
[ ,--. |____||.--. |
=-(( `))-----------(( `))==
jrei`--' `--'
%
,---------.
||"""""""||
|| || I JUST WANT TO BE HELD, MAYBE SHAKEN
|/-->&<--\| VIGOROUSLY SO THAT IT SCRAMBLES MY
| (._.) | BABY BRAINS, OR PERHAPS SUFFOCATED WITH
| ( @ ) | A PILLOW OR IN SOME OTHER SUBTLE WAY
| /|`"|\ | TURNED INTO ANOTHER SIDS VICTIM
//(_\___/_)\\
\\_()___()_//
`+---I---+'
|\(_)|(_)/|
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| |_______| |
|_| |_| hjw
%
_______
.-"" '.' ""-.
." .'. ". I'M NABIS PLEASE FUCK ME IN MY Q
/| Q |
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.---.
'-. | | .-' .-=-. OKAY I THINK I HAVE STIGMATA
___| |___ /.-=-.\
-= [ ] =- ||_____|| ALL RIGHT NEVER MIND IT TURNS
`---. .---' ||. .|| OUT I JUST WAS ACCIDENTALLY
__||__ | | __||__ || || STABBING MYSELF SIXTY-TWO
'-..-' | | '-..-' / |\_-_/| \ TIMES
|| | | || / |=====| \
||_.-| |-,_|| | |\_._/| |
.-"` `"`'` `"-. `--.| T |.--'
.' jgs '.
%
_ ___ _.--. SMALL CATS
\`.|\..----...-'` `-._.-'_.-'`
/ ' ` , __.--' WITH BIG COCKS
)/' _/ \ `-_, /
`-'" `"\_ ,_.-;_.-\_ ', NEXT GERALDO
_.-'_./ {_.' ; /
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%
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--..__ `--..__ `--.__ `--._`-q(-_-)p-'_.--' __.--' __..--' __..--
``--..__ `--..__ `--.__ `-'_) (_`-' __.--' __..--' __..--''
...___ ``--..__ `--..__`--/__/ \--'__..--' __..--'' ___...
```---...___ ``--..__`_(<_ _/)_'__..--'' ___...---'''
```-----....._____```---...___(__\_\_|_/__)___...---'''_____.....---- mic
I WONDER IF YOU HIT DEE IN THE HEAD HARD ENOUGH

WOULD IT POP HER LAZY EYE BACK INTO PLACE ??????????????
%
HUBBLE FOUND A GALAXY WITH A BLACK EYE !!!!!!!
WELL MAYBE IT WOULDN'T HAVE GOTTEN ONE IF IT DID

THE DISHES AND DIDN'T INTERRUPT ME WHILE I WAS
WATCHING THE BALL GAME AND DRINKING BEER !!!!!!!!!!
'
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,-----.
#,-. ,-.# PRAYER IN THE SCHOOLS !!!!!!
() a e ()
( (_) ) MORE SCHOOL SHOOTINGS
#\_ - _/#
,' `"""` `.
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/ v ,` v `,
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`-._/|__________\ ^ /
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`===' `==='
%
________ .
,88888PP8ba, 8b d8b d8b'
,d8P" "Y8b I8 888 d88b' WHY IS IT THAT "RAPE KIT" HAS
a8" 'Yd Yb "*" ,ad8" DIFFERENT MEANINGS TO RAPISTS
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%
.'"". I HAVE NO MOUTH AND I MUST SUCK
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W &&& CHARLENE ASPEN'S GOING TO GIVE HERSELF CONCUSSION
\ % " %
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%
COME ON PEOPLE !!! SING ALONG !!!!!!!!
.--. .--.
\ /
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\\ .-'@ @`-. // PEE / FACE
|| .'_________`. || PEE / FACE
\\.'^ Y ^`.// MY NAME IS PEE / FACE
.' | `.
: | : PEE / FACE
: | : PEE / FACE
: | : I'M A FUCKING DIS- / GRACE
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,(())), MISSING SINCE 1991
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_.-`''`-._
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| ,._-'''-. | WAIT WAIT WAIT
| |,-. ,-.| |
|/'<o> <o>`-| AALIYAH'S DEAD ???????
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FOLKS EVEN STEVE GUTTENBERG EVENTUALLY LOST WORK AND STARVED TO DEATH
ALL I'M SAYING IS WHY NOT JOHN TRAVOLTA TOO

%
/\ __ LIKE ALL GOOD LIBERALS I BELIEVE THAT PEOPLE SHOULDN'T
\ .-':::. BE ALLOWED TO MAKE PERSONAL CHOICES ON THEIR OWN
\ :::::|\ THAT I DEEM ARE BAD FOR THEM SO I'M CALLING TO BAN
|,\:::'/ \ ALL SUPER SIZING IN FAST FOOD RESTAURANTS
`.:::-' \
`-. \ ___
`-. | .-'';:::. NO IT DIDN'T OCCUR TO ME THAT THEY
`-.-' / ',''.;;;\ CAN JUST ORDER A SECOND FUCKING
| ','','.''| ORDER OF WHATEVER IT IS THEY WANT
|\ ' ,',' /' BECAUSE I'M A COMPLETE FUCKING
`.`-.___.-;' MORON
`--._.-' AsH
%
IT SURE SEEMS LIKE WHEN PORNSTARS ARE TAKING
IT UP THE ASS THAT THEY DON'T REALLY LIKE IT
REGARDLESS OF WHAT THEY MIGHT SAY ON THE
MATTER
/
_.--"":""--._ /
.' .-'.' '.'-. '.
/ .' / ' \ '. \
;-.__.--:__:--.__.--;
;-.__.--.__.--.__.--;
\'. \ : : / .' /
'.\ '. '. .' / .'
jgs `'--.:.:.--'`
%
______ HA HA YOU COLLEGE GIRLS
((((( \
); \\\\|)| CRACK ME UP EVERY TIME
< ||||||/
> /////// SCREAM ALL YOU WANT
`--| abac
___/ \___ WHY DO YOU THINK MY
( ~ ~ )
\ ` / FAMILY BOUGHT PROPERTY
| \ / |
| -\ / / ALL THE WAY OUT
(__ | | |- ,
| | | HERE ANYWAY
/ \
/ `, \ NOW HOLD STILL AND LET ME
| ) )
| _/_ _ / COMB THOSE LOWERCASE LETTERS
\ | |
| | , OUT OF YOUR HAIR
%
_____________ _____________
| _________ | | _________ | PARTICLE PHYSICS ....
|| _____ | | | | _____ | | HEAT DEATH ......
||| _ | | | | | | _ | | | PROTON DECAY .............
||||_| | | | | | | |_| | | |
|||_____| | | | | |_____| | |
||_________| | | |_________| | WHAT ARE THREE THINGS I CAN'T
|_____________| ua |_____________| BEAT OFF TO ?!?!?!?
%
______.........--=T=--.........______
. |:|
:-. // /""""""-.
': '-._____..--""(""""""()`---.__ I CAN'T FLY THE HELICOPTER
/: _..__ '' ":""""'[] |""`\\ IN AGHELIA TO SAVE MY LIFE
': :' `-. _:._ '"""" :
:: '--=:____:.___....-"
O" O" grp
%
----- -----
1 | I | |fy |
|---+---- --------------------+---|
2 |ou |ca | | n | r | e | a | d |th |
|---+---| |---+---+---+---+---+---|
3 |is |yo |ua |re af uc ki | ng |di sg |us |ti | n | g |fa |gg |
|---+---+---------------------------------------+---+---+---+---+---+---|
4 | o | t |an |d | w |ha |t' |s |mo |re |qu |it |ma |rr |yi |ng |ea |ch |
|---+---+---+---+---+---+---+---+---+---+---+---+---+---+---+---+---+---|
5 |ot |he | r |yo |u' |re |ma |ki |ng |th |er |es |to |fu |ss |ic | k |ok |
|---+---+---+---+---+---+---+---+---+---+---+---+---+---+---+---+---+---|
6 |th |en |bac|kt |o | t |he |el |em |en |ts |Hg |Tl |Pb |Bi |Po |At |Rn |
|---+---+---+------------------------------------------------------------
7 |Fr |Ra |ACT|
-------------
%
_
\`*-. I'M INVOKING AMENDMENT TWENTY-FIVE OF THE
) _`-. CONSTITUTION OF THE UNITED STATES
. : `. .
: _ ' \
; *` _. `*-._
`-.-' `-.
; ` `.
:. . \
. \ . : .-' .
' `+.; ; ' :
: ' | ; ;-.
; ' : :`-: _.`* ;
[bug] .*' / .*' ; .*`- +' `*'
`*-* `*-* `*-*'
%
_"_ %
(< ? HYPOTHETICAL
` "
__||___ YOU FIND OUT YOUR WIFE OF MANY YEARS
|\___//_\ IS A POST-OP TRANSSEXUAL AND NEVER TOLD
(' | ') \\ YOU
__|\ , / |/
/: / \ :: DO YOU A. STOP BEATING HER BECAUSE
\| ######o /| SHE WAS ONCE A MAN AND THUS DESERVES
######## \) MORE RESPECT OR B. BEAT HER HARDER
######## BECAUSE HER COOTER IS FAKE
\ : /
\: /
--
%%%
%%
%
/:\
|/|, b'ger
%
OKAY I'M POPPING IN THIS PEARL
_.--. HARBOR DVD BUT IF IT TURNS OUT
.' ` ' TO BE NOTHING BUT A SOUPED UP
``'. .' .c-.. LOVE STORY THEM BOOM !!!!!!!!
`. `````` .-' WORLD WAR III
-'`. )--. .'`
`-`._ \_`-- BP
%
db db
dpqb dp8b
8b qb_____dp_88
88/ . `p I THINK I'LL VISIT JAPAN SOMETIME SO
q'. \ I CAN GET MY GIANT ROBOT PILOT LICENSE
.'. .-. ,-. `--.
|. / 0 \ / 0 \ | \
|. `.__ ___.' | \\/
|. " | (
\. `-'-' ,' |
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/. ' \.`:;;;;'''/`. .|
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%
_.ooo._
,dMP"""QMb. I'M A COMPLETELY STUPID IDEA
|vP' _..._ 'Qv| AND BLATANT COPYRIGHT INFRINGEMENT
,d|`." ".'|b.
CM| |MD
`Q|---. ,---|P'
\`---'_'---'/
`. ._. ,'
`-._.-' M-K
%
,'.
\_/
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,' `.
\ /
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,'.
,' `.
,' `.
\ /
\ /
\_____/
,'. WE'RE TRAVELLING FASTER AND FASTER NEARING THE SPEED OF

,' `. LIGHT SO EVERYTHING IN OUR FORWARD FIELD OF VIEW GETS
,' `. SQUASHED INTO A TIGHT LITTLE CIRCLE JUST AHEAD OF US
,' `. AND BRIGHTENED UP SO WE CAN BEAT OFF TO IT BETTER
\ /
\ / VVV VVVVVVVVVV VV VV VV VVV VVVV VVV VV VV VVVVVV
\ / VVVVVVVV VVVV V VVVVV VVVVVV VVVVVV VVVV VVVVV VV VV
\_______/ VVVVV VV VVVVVVVVVV VV VVV VVVVVVV VVVVV VV VVVV VVVV
shimrod VV,VV VVVVVVVVVV VVVVVV VVV VVVVVV VVVVVVV VVV VVVVV VV
%
/~, .-.-.~
~/.-.-. '. .'
,___.-.-.'. .'~ ~/! WATCH OUT IT'S TERTIARY PNEUMONIA TREE
~/, '. .'\ ! ___/,!
.-.-. ! \! / .-.-. WELL KNOWN FOR ITS DIATRIBES IN FAVOR
'. .' ! ,|/ '. .' OF GAY MARRIAGE AND HOW IT GOT AIDS
! |~ ! THROUGH A "TRANSFUSION"
! ~| !
\|/ lc
~"^"~"^"~
%
___ .
_~"| ~~ ~.\.~
/ : / / \_ I DON'T KNOW HOW TO DEFINE
?"" ; ` ,' ) OBSCENITY BUT I SURE KNOW IT
/-, / . . . | WHEN I SEE IT
/ ~-_ / dp . . |
.%"": .? |: . . . | AND HOLY LIVING FUCK PEOPLE IS
% '. . \|:. . .. . . / THAT AN OBSCENE GAY FLOWER
/ '. '.: : :| : .. . . _/
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-::::/ \ :.'::::::::::::/
~__/ \. ;:.::::::::::_/ EB
\::.::::::::::::/
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""""""
%
. . I'M GOING TO EXPLAIN TO YOU MY INTERESTS
+ : . IN CREATING A SCIENCE FICTIONAL UNIVERSE
: _ WHICH I LIKE TO REFER TO AS AN *ANTI*
. ! ' (_) STAR TREK IN THAT IT'S SO UNLIKE IT BUT
,|.' VERY MUCH LIKE IT AT THE SAME TIME !!!!
- -- ---(-O-`--- -- -
,`|'`. SEE INSTEAD OF CALLING IT STAR *TREK*
, ! . I'LL CALL IT STAR *WOLF* !!!!!!
: : "
. --+-- WAIT WHY ARE YOU WALKING AWAY FROM ME
.: . ! I'M NOT FINISHED YET THERE ARE GAYS
O!o
%
,______
_./ \_ ZIGGURAT VERTIGO
/' -=X=- \
/ <_>___\___/---_H_
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__ |__ L___^|^^^^^\--\__/
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S-v|- __^\ _|__| _/ _ __\
----| O ))==|___ _|==-) ||
\ _// \__//
%
. YOU KNOW WHAT'S COOLEST ABOUT TATTOOS ???????
b A ABSOLUTELY FUCKING NOTHING YOU RETARD IDIOTS
$b Vb.
'$b V$b.
$$b V$$b.
'$$b. V$$$$oooooooo. ..
'$$P* V$$$$$""**$$$b. .o$$P WATCH ME BE ALL COUNTER-
" .oooZ$$$$b..o$$$$$$$$$$$$C CULTURE AND REALLY COOL
.$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$b. BY GETTING THIS TATTOO !!!
$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$
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.. $$$; o$$$$$$ $$$$ NOW I'M TOTALLY UNIQUE
. $.l "$$' .$$$$$$$P $$$P AND THERE'S NO ONE ELSE
.I .$b b '. "P .P*""*$$$$; $$$ ON EARTH JUST LIKE ME
.$P $$o ". ". . " ." $$$$ $$; BECAUSE I GOT TO CHOOSE
.$$; $$$. "A "$. ". ' o$$$P .$P WHICH TATTOO I GOT AND
.$$$b $$$$. *$. "$$$$o. .$$$$P $" WHERE ON MY BODY I GOT
.$$$$$ $$$$$. "$$o."**$$$$o.' .o$$$$P" P IT !!!!!!! I'M ALL ABOUT
$$P"$$b $$$$$$o "*$$$$boooooc$$$$$$$P" . INDIVIDUALISM AND I'M
$$ $$$."$$$"*$$. "$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$C .o" TOTALLY UNIQUE !!!!!!!!!
I" $P"$."$$b. "*$. "**$$$$$*"*$$$$$$$"
' $ "$."$$$. ""' "*$$*
$. "."$$$$o mls
"I "$$$$b. .
"$$$b."$o.
"*$$."$$$o. EXCEPT FOR EVERY OTHER SHITHEAD
"$$o $$$$b. BORN AFTER 1985
'$$o'$$$$$b.
'$$.'$$$**$o
'$$.$$$. '$$ AND IF I GET IT ON MY TITS OR TWAT
$$; $$$o. "$. I CAN OFFICIALLY DO PORN !!!!
"$: $$ "*o ".
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$. .$$ $;
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%
STEPHEN HAWKING PRO WHEELCHAIR
._
|
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%
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"-.... b`8888888:::::.`8888._::-"
`:::. `:::::O:::::::.`%%'|
`. "``::::::'' .' I'M GOING TO KILL YOU, COOK YOU,
`. < AND THEN EAT THE EVIDENCE
+: `: -';
`: : .::/ COME TO THINK ABOUT IT I SHOULD
;+_ :::. :..;;; CRAP YOU OUT AND THEN EAT THE FECES
LS ;;;;,;;;;;;;;,;; TO COVER ALL BASES
NO REASON NOT TO BE COMPLETELY

CAREFUL HERE
%
YOU'VE SEEN THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
YOU HAVEN'T SEEN THE PASSION OF THE CHRIST YET

BUT HAVE A STRONG OPINION ON IT
WELL GET READY !!!!!! HERE COMES ........

JESUS: THE DAWN OF REALIZATION
I'VE BEEN PUT ON THIS DIRTY SHITBALL OF A PLANET

TO DO WHAT ??!?!?!?!? YOU CAN'T REALLY BE SERIOUS
HOW ABOUT FUCK YOU AND I'M OPENING A STARBUCKS

. : : : .
.:`. ! ,':. /
.. _ ,-'-. _ .. /
: ; _,_ ; : /
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''`\`'---^---`'`\,`hjw
%
(
) )
_.(--"("""--.._ WAITER THERE'S A
/, _..-----).._,\ TRINOC IN MY SOUP
| `'''-----'''` |
\ /
'. .'
jgs '--.....--'
%
^
| THE ONLY FRENCH I KNOW IS "IF I PAY YOU AN
+ EXTRA TEN FRANCS WILL YOU FUCKING WASH FIRST"
|
|
|
|
|
A
=== ________
/EEE\ |______|
//EEE\\ |*( )*| ejm 97
___//_____\\_____________|O| |O|_______
---------- __o
_ ~ ,_ ==c/ -------- _ \<,_
(*)\/(*) (\/\ ------- (*)/ (*)
%
_____________
/ ___________ \ WHO EVER IN THE HISTORY OF THE COSMOS HAS
| / \ | EVER EVEN HAD THE REMOTEST PASSING INTEREST
| \___________/\| IN WATCHING GODDAMN PORN BLOOPERS
\KCK__________/
%
IT TURNS OUT GETTING FUCKED IN THE ASS HURTS
/
_ ,--. ,-"""". _,---. /
\`_/`'---._ / `--"_, \_,--. \
(,-'`--. `' /= (. , _ ,: ) ) ___._
bmw ``--.\._ ,'__.-'`-(. ,-.`-_'__...- >\\`.
/a:f
%
.-~-.
.' '.
/ \ WAIT A MINUTE
.-~-. : ;
.' '.| | WAIT JUST A MINUTE
/ \ :
: ; .-~""~-,/ MORMONS DON'T LAY EGGS
| /` `'.
: | \ WHAT THE HELL ARE THESE
\ | /
`. .' \ .'
jgs `~~~` '-.____.-'
%
\ | ( | ) / /
_________________
| |
| DUMB CUNT |
| COFFEE BEANS /--\
| LTD., CO. | |
\ /\--/
\___________/
%
.
/=\\
/===\ \ IF YOU BREAK ME OPEN YOU'LL
/=====\' \ FIND A NEVER-ENDING SERIES OF
/=======\'' \ RUSSIAN DOLLS EACH TINIER THAN
/=========\ ' '\ THE LAST UNTIL FINALLY Z-SHAPED
/===========\'' \ BLACK DONGS BATTER YOUR MOUTH
/=============\ ' ' \
/===============\ '' \
/=================\' ' ' ' \
/===================\' ' ' ' \
/=====================\' ' ' ' \
/=======================\ ' ' /
/=========================\ ' /
/===========================\' /
/=============================\/
%
_________ _________
/ \ / \
/ /~~~~~\ \ / /~~~~~\ \ ANYWAY WITHOUT THE DECIMAL
| | | | | | | | POINT WE'RE RICH
| | | | | | | |
| | | | | | | | /
| | | | | | | | //
(o o) \ \_____/ / \ \_____/ /
\__/ \ / \ /
| ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~
^
%
_ _ _ ___ ___. . ___. . .
|\ /| \ | | / | | __| |___|
| \/ | | | \___| | | | |
| | _|_ . | ___| ___| | |
__ ___. ___. ___. _ ___. _____

/ | __| / | / | / \ / | |
| | | \___| \___| /___\ \___| |
\__| ___| | | / \ / | |
___. . . ___ . . . . ___

/ | | | / \ \ / | /| |
\___| | | | | \ | / | |
/ | \__/ \___/ \ |/ | _|_
___. . ___ . . ___. ___. _

__| | / \ |___| .__| .__| / \
| | | | | | | | /---\
___| __| \___/ | | |___ |___ / \
tQn
%
IF EVOLUTION WERE REAL DON'T YOU THINK THEY'D HAVE CHANGED IT
FROM A THEORY TO A LAW BY NOW??? OBVIOUSLY THE EGGHEADS ARE UNSURE
OF THEMSELVES
AND BY THE WAY I CAN SEE YOUR DREAMS
_.-;:q=._
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(___)
) ( SKEET SKEET SKEET SKEET SKEET SKEET SKEET SKEET
( ) SKEET SKEET SKEET SKEET SKEET SKEET SKEET SKEET
||| SKEET SKEET SKEET SKEET SKEET SKEET SKEET SKEET
( ) SKEET SKEET SKEET SKEET SKEET SKEET SKEET SKEET
/:::\ SKEET SKEET SKEET SKEET SKEET SKEET SKEET SKEET
/:::::\ SKEET SKEET SKEET SKEET SKEET SKEET SKEET SKEET
////\\\\\
((((())))))
\\\\/////
\_____/ TS
%
\
,)\
\\,sSss THIS IMAGE MAKES ME GO FROM
')ssssS ZERO TO PUNCH IN FIVE SECONDS
\_sSSsSs
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%
o o o o ~~ ~~ ~ _____
o _____ ________________ ________________ ____|_=_|_()__
.][_mm__|[]| ,===___ || IRISH NEED | | NOT APPLY | | BURMA SHAVE |
>(_______|__|_|_GBRR_]_| |_| |_| ..|
_/oo-OOOO-oo' !oo!!oo!=`!o!o!----!o!o!'=`!o!o!----!o!o!'=`!o!o--o!o!'
+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=
%
WHAT ???? WHAT DID YOU SAY BITCH
///
p=<o > IT ISN'T THAT I **LIKE** TO EAT WORMS
} )(
( `\ IT'S JUST THAT I'M PREDISPOSED TO EATING
\._ \ WHATEVER MOVES NEAR ME AND FITS IN MY MOUTH
JJ ^~~==
GOD DIDN'T MAKE ME FUCKFACE I'M JUST LUCKY
%
..... I HEREBY EAT THIS TOGO'S #30
.' '. SANDWICH FOR ALL THOSE THAT CAN'T
. . ANYMORE !!!!!!!!!!!!
: :
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{{| |}} REMEMBER 9/11
}}| |{{
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//.--------' ; ; '---------.\\
((/// _ \ / _ \\\))
(((--' `''-------'`'"'-----'"'`'-------''` '--))) jgs
%
____
/(( )) THE VAGINA MONOLOGUES !!!!!!!
( )6 6( )
(_) l (_) ALSO KNOWN AS THE REASON WOMEN
\ <> ) FINALLY CONVINCED THE WORLD THEY
____) (_____ SHOULD HAVE THEIR RIGHT TO VOTE
( \____/ ) TAKEN AWAY FROM THEM (FOR THEIR
) ( )( ) ( OWN GOOD)
/ / \ / \ \
/ / \ / \ \
\ \ )==( / /
\ \ / \ / /
'\\/ \//'
'|\` '|\`
\ /
\ /
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jgs/akg / \
/ \
/ \
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`-..-'
%
DISTRIBUTION OF FISTS: ASS (L), MOUTH (R)
o |~~~|
/\_ _| |
\__`[_ |
][ \,/|___|
%
YOUR DICK IN MY ASS MEANS YOU'RE GAY
MY DICK IN YOUR MOUTH MEANS YOU'RE REALLY GAY
.
tQn
%
I AM DUMP GOD
/
/
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,--._ _
"'. '. ,';
) '. ,' / DO YOU KNOW WHAT THE BEST PART
_/ '. ,' '. ABOUT GETTING HIGH IS ???????
-"__ '.; / ,`' ,-`
\ / ( ,===. _`. ) (SILENCE FOR THIRTEEN HOURS
/__ `.__//.' \\/_.-` FOLLOWED BY WAKING UP IN MY
'-,._.- \ \_/\\ ,-. OWN FILTH)
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%
LINGERIE SHOULD BE BEST CHOSEN FOR HOW IT LOOKS
BEING CONVERED WITH DIRT AS YOU'RE BURYING THE BODY
_ _
//| |\\
//|| ||\\
/'^^^._.^^^`\
\::::/=\::::/ hjw
`--' `--'
%
FAR OFF IN OUTER SPACE THERE EXISTS THE STRANGEST
WACKIEST PLANET IN THE OH FUCK IT'S JUST A FROG
.--._.--.
( O O )
/ . . \
.`._______.'.
/( )\
_/ \ \ / / \_
.~ ` \ \ / / ' ~.
{ -. \ V / .- }
_ _`. \ | | | / .'_ _
>_ _} | | | {_ _<
/. - ~ ,_-' .^. `-_, ~ - .\
%
_-o#&&*''''?d:>b\_
_o/"`'' '',, dMF9MMMMMHo_ STOP THE WORLD
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`&. .
`~, . ./ I WANT TO JERK OFF
. _ .-
'`--._,dd###pp=""'
%
. ,
|_| MY TITS GIVE MILK
(/ \)
|`='
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| |\ `|' ,;,|
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'.\_\_\_\_\_\_\.:`_`.-:|
`-._:_:_:_:_:_:.-.-'||.===.
//||'.-'::||
// JJ |||| ___
// LL ||||---' -
||__.""---''-|\ __ -
____.--|| __ -- __ ___.---
__.---' __ - //-- ____.---'
__.--' __. -- - __"_.--'
' .-- __.----'
l42 __.--'
%
ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
8 .d88 Vbox
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8 8888888888888888888888P" 8888 8 8
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MAYBE IF I PUT A MAKEFILE IN EVERY SINGLE FUCKING DIRECTORY

I SEE IN SOURCE CONTROL IT WILL MAKE ME A BETTER ENGINEER
(PAUSE)
NOPE I STILL FUCKING SUCK
%
_
|_t+.__________________......_ /;_
;________________/ : \ t""o.\__ LOOK PEOPLE I HAVE GUNS
:---|------------------t-----^-`--' / AND HAVEN'T SHOT ANY OF
\__L___________________\____________\ THE PEOPLE THAT DESERVE
""-. o .--. \--'/ l .-t+. IT SO I EXPECT YOU ALL
\ ( l) ;"" : / TO BEHAVE AS WELL
l `--" o; Y
"""""";: .-. :\ DO UNTO OTHERS OR
:: '-' ;\ I WILL FUCK YOU OUT
;; : ;
:: bug ;|
;'-------';
'"------""
%
_O-O_
O O_ I TAPE MY DICK UNDERNEATH SO
| O I CAN PRETEND TO BE A WOMAN
_O |
O O_
.`. O THEN I GO "HOOOOOOOOOO MY
/ / .`. CUNT AND BOOBS"
/ / \ \
/ / \ \
/ / \ \
/ / \ \
/` / \ `\
/` / \ \
/ / \ \
\_7 `__/
%
_/
_,_/_
(/ < \)
_/|\_
(/ | \)
\)
__ <`-,-,_,-, ,-,_,-,-'7 __
\_;> ^ _<---' `--->_ ^ <`_/
) _,-' `-,_ (
/ / \ \
__ ,' / \ `,
)_\ _,-' / \ \
\_ _,-_-,_ _,-' / _,-_-,_ _,-', \
\_/\,_ ` `' \ /\,_ ` ' \
/\,_ ` | _/\,_ ` |
|\,_` ) , < __/ |\,_` ) , <
\\_`/,_,_ _\,_ _/ _/ /_/ \\_`/,_,__\,_ _/ _/
|\_/\,_| ` )=| |=( |\_/\,_| )=| |=(
/\_/ \_| \-| |-/ /\_/ \_| \-| |-/
\ ) < ) < / \ > \ ) < ) < / \ >
\\ \\ \| |/ \\ \\ \| |/
\\_ \\_ /| |\_ \\_ \\_ /| |\_
mic ),_\ )_\ /_( )_\ ),_\ )_\ /_( )_\
WHO SAYS HOMOSEXUALITY IS UNNATURAL LOOK AT THESE TWO FAGGOTS

%
MASTURBATE ME AT KNIFE POINT
____
| | ___\ /~~~|
_:_______|/'(..)`\_______/ | |
<_|`````` \__~~__/ ___|_|
:\_____(=========,(*),--\__|_/.
| \ /---'
| (*) /
|____/
%
_ __<;
</_/ _/__
/> > 7 ) DUDE I LOVE THE
~;</7 / BAY CITY ROLLERS
/> / _/
~ </7 7~\_
</7 \
cjr /_ _ _ |
%
.------._ EXCUSE ME SIR
/ \.-.
\_-_:===='; _.) PLEASE ADD AND/OR SUBTRACT
.'/''..''\', \\
| ' || '.| ENOUGH CHARACTERS FROM MY FACE
| | || | |
| | 0 || 0 | | SO I DON'T VIOLATE COPYRIGHTS
.'_ __.--.__ _'.
(__. _.----._ .__) AND THAW OUT WALT OR WHATEVER
`--======--'
%
.
. THIS VALIUM WILL PREVENT ME FROM
. FLYING OFF INTO A PSYCHOTIC RAGE
. ,-,--. AND KILLING YOU
__| //``-, \
\_`\ )\a-a-? \ I SUPPOSE THAT MEANS I'M JUST
\ \_`(_=_/_-`__ POSTPONING MY OWN JUSTIFIED
\__, , \| | PLEASURE AND THAT'S TRUE IN
_ _,' ___7 ) | SOME SENSE BUT WE LIVE IN A
(_)(_`__(_,---' | SOCIETY OF LAWS
( _( ) |
/ /_| |________|
__/__/__|__|_________)
_________(__,_|)/ (__)|/____\(_______________ mic
%
_--_
/ \
( ** )
\ /
| | ........_ ____,,,..---
| |^^*|MMMMMMMMM```-----'''MMMMMMMMMMMM|
| | |MMMMMMMMMOMMMMMMMMMM@MMMMMMMMMMM|
| | |MMMMMMMMMOMMMMMMMMMM@MMMMMMMMMMM|,
| | `|IIIIIIIII+IIYYYYYIII%IIIIIIIIIII|
| | |IIIIIIIII+IIIIIIIIII%IIIIIIIIIII|
| | |IIIIIIIII+IIIIIIIIII%IIIIIIIIIII|,
| | `|IIIIIIIII+IIIIIIIIII%IIIIIIIIIII|
| | |:::::::::"::YYYYY::::=::::::::::|
| | ,|:::::::::":::::::::::=::::::::::|
| | |:::::::::":::::::::::=:::::::::::|'
| |'^^*|;;;;;;;;_";:::::::::;=------;;;;;/
| | ```-----'''
| |
| |
| |
| |
| |
| |
| |
| |
| |
| |
| |
| |
| |
| |
| |
| | Q: WHY IS MAKING FUN OF GERMANS SO FUNNY
| |
| | A: OPEN YOUR HISTORY BOOK FUCKFACE
| |
\\| |//
''''''''''''''''''~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
%
3000 -| o I THINK SOMETIMES WE FORGET
| /|\ THAT SEX OFFENDERS ARE PEOPLE
| /^\ TOO
2000 -| o o o
| /|\ /|\ /|\ WHEN WE PICKET OR OTHERWISE
| /^\ /^\ /^\ NOISILY REJECT THEM FROM OUR
1000 -| o o o o o COMMUNITIES WE ALSO HURT THEIR
| /|\ /|\ /|\ /|\ /|\ FEELINGS
| /^\ /^\ /^\ /^\ /^\
`----------------------- CHECK OUT THE CARETS-AS-WANGS!!!
86 87 88 89 90 CHEMICAL CASTRATION MY ASS THOSE
LITTLE MEN ARE HARD AS ROCKS
%
, ,.-.-. , ,.-.-. , ,.-.-. , ,.-.-.
\_|'( ) \_|'( ) \_|'( ) \_|'( ) ANOTHER
(oo )\| / (oo )\| / (oo )\| / (oo )\| / PERFECT DAY
^ ( '-._ ^ ( '-._ ^ ( '-._ ^ ( '-._ IN PARADISE
`~nn~' `~nn~' `~nn~' `~nn~'
.-.-., , .-.-., , .-.-., , .-.-., ,
( )'|_/ ( )'|_/ ( )'|_/ ( )'|_/
\ |/( oo) \ |/( oo) \ |/( oo) \ |/( oo)
_(` ) ^ _.-` ) ^ _.-` ) ^ _.-` ) ^
`~nn~' `~nn~' `~nn~' `~nn~'
, ,.-.-. , ,.-.-. , ,.-.-. , ,.-.-.
\_|'( ) \_|'( ) \_|'( ) \_|'( )
(oo )\| / (oo )\| / (oo )\| / (oo )\| /
^ ( '-._ ^ ( '-._ ^ ( '-._ ^ ( '-._ I MEAN
`~nn~' `~nn~' `~nn~' `~nn~' BLACK DICKS
.-.-., , .-.-., , .-.-., , .-.-., , SURROUNDING
( )'|_/ ( )'|_/ ( )'|_/ ( )'|_/ ME LIKE
\ |/( oo) \ |/( oo) \ |/( oo) \ |/( oo) MOVIE ZOMBIES
_.-` ) ^ _.-` ) ^ _.-` ) ^ _.-` ) ^
`~nn~' `~nn~' _ `~nn~' ___ `~nn~'
%
/| \
/_|_{)/ CHECK ME OUT ON THIS AIR GUITAR !11!!
---<< | | )
\ | (
\| ) DOW NOW NOW NOW NOW
ejm97 /|
\ \
~ ~
%
/|
__ : :o
<"" "">|/ IS IT SO WRONG TO GET
|""--""|n-. SLOSHED ON SATURDAY NIGHTS
| |"`.| AND DESIRE MAYA RUDOLPH
| .--. | ||
| ( ) |.-:'
| "" |/"
( ) Ojo
""--""
%
,,,,,,,, ,,,,,,,
'.-''''''''''''-.' WHAT ?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?
'' ''
'' '' OF **COURSE** THE FACE ON MARS IS OF INTELLIGENT
'' '``' '``' '' DESIGN !!!!! ONLY A CLOSED-MINDED ASTRO-NOT
'' .--. .--. '' WOULD THINK OTHERWISE !!!!! IT'S BLATANTLY
'' '(_).' '(_).' '' OBVIOUS TO ANYONE WITH A THIRD-GRADE EDUCATION
'' ' ' '' AND AN UNDERSTIMULATED SENSE OF BULLSHIT
'' ' ' ''
'' ' ' '' SHOWING ME THE REVISED IMAGERY OF THE "FACE"
'' .-' '-. '' WHICH CLEARLY INDICATES THAT IS IT IS NOT
''` '-'--'-' ,'' ARTIFICIAL OR EVEN REMOTELY FACE-LIKE IN ANY WAY
'''` .--.--. ,''' MERELY STRENGTHENS MY RESOLVE AND DEEPENS MY
''''` `---' ,'''' CONVICTION TO BE AN IGNORANT FUCKING MORON
'''''` ,'''''
''''''`......,'''''' WHY ?!?!?!?!?!! BECAUSE THIS IS ABOUT ME NOT MARS
'`''''' ''''''
luser
%
!!!! ARE YOU A SQUIRREL??? TAKE OUR QUIZ:
!!!!!!!!
!!!!!!!!!!! O_O ___ I DEFEND THE USE OF 9/11 IMAGERY
!!! !!!!!!! /@ @\ IN MY INFOMERCIALS
!!!!!! \ x /
!!!!!!/ m !m ___ I DID NOT HAVE SEXUAL RELATIONS
!!!!/ __ | WITH THAT WOMAN
!!!!|/ \__
!!!\______\ ___ I'D SUCK A COCK FOR A WHOLE PEANUT
%
.-=========-.
\'-=======-'/ HERE'S A MEDAL FOR THE GUY WHO FAITHFULLY
_| .=. |_ CORRECTS ALL THE TYPOS IN EACH AND EVERY
((| {{1}} |)) ASCII ART FART HE READS DAY AFTER DAY
\| /|\ |/ WITHOUT ANY COMPENSATION
\__ '`' __/
_`) (`_ HERE'S SOMETHING TO KEEP YOU BUSY !!!!!
jgs _/_______\_
/___________\ F U CN RD THS, GT A FCKNG JB U CUNT
%
_ _
/_] [_\ I WAS WALKING OUT OF A FAST FOOD JOINT AND OUTSIDE
// \\ THERE WAS A PRETTY VIETNAMESE GIRL ASKING ME IF
\\ // I KNEW WHERE A GOOD KOREAN BBQ PLACE IS
\`-..-'/
`\ /` LONG STORY SHORT DOES ANYONE KNOW THE BEST WAY TO
|| _ DRAIN BLOOD FROM A HUMAN CORPSE
jgs || ( )
\\___//
`---`
%
. . COCKSUCKING-RELATED ACTIVITIES ??? GAME ON
___ | |
// __`\ o o /
ll ( .) l_) )
__\\ \__/ /
____________
%
________ ___,,,,,,,
jgs [________>__________\
WHEN ALL YOU HAVE IS A KNIFE

EVERYTHING LOOKS LIKE AN OLD PERSON
%
::: =, ALL THESE WORLDS ARE YOURS
;;=;;=== EXCEPT EUROPA:
,=YVRMBBMMR=, :i=
:iVRRMMMMMMBMMM :=; ==;====== NO GAY SHIT HERE
=tYMMMMMMBBMMM;=Y ,::;==iMMMMMMMMMM PLZ FAGGOTS
;tYVBBMMVMMMM =; .,,,::;;=YVBBMMMMMMMMM
;tYVVYRMMM;=ti ...,,,;::==iMVMMMMMMMMMMMM
,=tYRBM;;tVB, ...., ,::;====YVBMMMMMMMMMM
.. ,=t =tYVRB, .....,,,,=:;:;;i=VYMMRMMMMMMMM
;;.. ,===iYVVRY .....,,,;,,,,,:;;==t=RBMMMMMMMMM
:;;:;=;,... .......,,,,,,,,,:;;==Y=tYMMMMMMMM
;.,:,..... ....,,,,,,,,,,,,,:;;;==YYMRMMMMMM;
....... .,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,::;;;=YtVBMMMMM
;t ... .,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,::;;i=RiRMMMMM
,=.. .,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,:::;;=iYBBMM
.,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,::;;;;tVB
:VMM .,,,,,,,,,,,,:,,,::;;=
,;VBM .,,,,,,,,,,,,,:,::
,,== `,,,,,,, WT
%
NEED MONEY FOR COKE
PARDON ME
COKE AND PURSES
__/\"""""""""""""\__
|\__/""""""""""""""\_\
\|__ [][][][][][][] __| -shimrod
\______________/
%
___
(___)_ ,\
( '} '(``, WELL I MANAGED TO WAKE UP ANOTHER DAY
/, \/^\, '/' .\ WITHOUT HAVING DIED IN MY SLEEP
( \ 6 \ \ '/ \
\ \ __|\ '/ \ ,/ \, I DON'T HAVE SCREENSHOTS OR A SAVEGAME
/=\ \/(\'/ //-\,') SO I DON'T REALLY HAVE PROOF
_----_( /\ \''\___// ``
/ |( \ |0 /
//| ( |`\ \| \ /
'/'| |=/ /) \ /
' \ ) \\/'/ \/
\ / `='( \
| /-___::--\ // \
| /| |||| \
||>| ||>| O
>||| >|||
|||| ||||
|| = || =
RS = = o
%
____
/\ \
\ \ \ TO: FRIENDS OF FRIENDS OF FRIENDS
\ \ \ OF FRIENDS OF FRIENDS OF FRIENDS
\ \ \____
_\_\___\ \ WANT A JOB ?!?!?!?!?!?!
/\___________\
\ \ \ \ \ RARE L@@K !!11!! WOULD SPAM AGAIN
\ \ \ \ \ A+++++++++
\ \ \ \ \
\ \ \ \ \
\ \ \ \ \
\_\ \ \ \ _
/\\=============\\
\ \\ \ \ \\
\ \\-------------\\
\ \\ \ \ \\
\ \\=============\\
\// \ \ \ \/
\ \ \ \ \
\ \ \ \ \
\ \ \ \ \
\ \ \ \ \
\ \ \ \ \
\ \ \___\ \
\ \ \__/\ \
\ \___\_\_\___\
\ \nsg _______\
\ \___\ \/___/
\/___/
%
___---___
.-- --. TOM GREEN AND ANDY KAUFMAN HAVE SO MUCH
./ () .-. \. IN COMMON !!!!!!
/ o . ( ) \
/ . '-' \ [ ] THEY WERE BOTH UNFUNNY TWATS WHO
| () . O . | SPENT MOST OF THEIR LIVES ANNOYING
| | RATHER THAN ENTERTAINING
| o () |
| .--. O | [ ] DREW BARRYMORE MARRIED BOTH OF THEM
| . | | | WHILE SHE WAS HIGH (MARRIAGE WITH
\ `.__.' o . / KAUFMAN WAS QUICKLY ANNULLED)
\ /
`\ o () /' jgs [ ] WE'RE GLAD THEY'RE DEAD/WILL BE GLAD
`--___ ___--' WHEN THEY DIE
---
%
|/|
|/| WE EXECUTE RETARDS NOT SO MUCH
|/| BECAUSE IT'S JUST BUT MORE FOR SPORT
|/|
|/|
|/|
|/| /')
|/|/\/
|/|\/
(''')
(''')
(''')
(''')
(''')
/''/\
/ ,^./\
/ / \/\
/ / \/\
( ( )/)
| | |/|
| | |/|
| | |/|
( ( )/)
\ \ / /
\ `---' /
`-----' PhS
%
___
// 7 KARMA WILL GET YOU
(_,_/\
\ \ MEANWHILE THIS GAY ASCII DICK
\ \
_\ \__ MAKES GOOD COMPANY
( \ )
\___\___/
%
SO DO THEY REALLY NOT PAY THE GIRLS ON BANGBUS
BECAUSE THAT'S SERIOUSLY NOT COOL, YO
WHEN I WORKED AT DAIRY QUEEN THEY FORGOT TO PAY ME ONCE
SO I FORGOT NOT TO PEE IN THE FRIERS
ANYWAY I KNOW HOW IT FEELS TO BE LET DOWN BY AN EMPLOYER
WHY ARE YOU ALL WALKING AWAY AND WHY SO QUICKLY
..-----..
,-" "-.
,' `.
/ \
. .
| |
| o o |
.-.| o o |,-.
|(\| ?b._ o o _.dP |/)|
|\d`. |`""=.__ __.=""'| .'6/|
`.\_| -.."_/ \_"..- |_/,'
`._\ --.. . .--- /_,'
\ ___ /
`-. "..." .-'
._ .-|.`-._ _.-'.|-. _.
_.-/ .' ' \ / ` `. \-._
..--" . \..._).\_ _/.(_.../ . "--..
/\ \ |""--.._"="_..--""| / /\
| \ . \ `. """ .' . . / |
./ \ \ . `-. .-' / / \.
|_ `| . `-. ,-' |' _|
/"-. | . " | .-"\
/ T-. \ \ ._ .--. / .-T \
. | "-\ . / | /-" | .
| ` |. - . .(" / .| ' |
\ | ._ .'| _.-".-",' |`. _. | /
() | "( `._________._..__Seal___.' )" | ()
( ` \ (========( / /)========) / / )
%
_==._. .=..==
!!!!!!!`~- -~``'!!!!
'!!!: !!!!
!!!! .!!!!
'!!!. . .!!!!'
'!!!!. :!!!: .!!!!'
'!!!!::.. .:!/~\!:. ..::!!!!'
'!!!!!!!!!!!!!!\_/!!!!!!!!!!!!'
'!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!'
'!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!'
'!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!'
'!!!!!!!!!!!!!' IT'S NOT SO MUCH THAT WE'RE FRIGHTENED
'!!!!!!!!!!!! OF DIFFERENT PEOPLE AND WAYS IT'S JUST
!!!!!!!!!!!!; THAT WE DON'T WANT THEM TO POLLUTE THE
!!!!!!!!!!!!! GENE POOL
:!!!!!!!!!!!!!:
!!!!!!' '!!!!!!
.!!!!!! !!!!!!:
!!!!!!' '!!!!!!
!!!!!! !!!!!!
!!!!!! !!!!!!
.VVVVVV. .VVVVVV.
%
_.-._
| | | |_
| | | | | HANDS UP WHO THINKS LATIN SPICE
| | | | | HAS KIND OF A BIG ASS
_ | '-._ |
\`\`-.'-._;
\ ' |
\ .` /
jgs | |
%
I'M THE SQUARE FROM ADVENTURE
/
__
| |
|__|
tQn
%
.===================================================================.
|| __ _ __ __ __ __ __ .. __ ||
|| -=]|__ /_\ |__) |__ |__) / \ |\ /| |__) | | |__/ |__ |\ | ||
|| -=]| / \ | \ | | \ \__/ | \/ | | \__/ | \ |__ | \| ||
|| ___ ||
|| .' '. ||
|| / \ oOoOo ||
|| | | ,==||||| ||
|| \ / _|| ||||| ||
|| '.___.' _.-'^|| ||||| ||
|| __/_______.-' '==HHHHH ||
|| _.-'` / """"" ||
|| .-' / oOoOo ||
|| `-._ / ,==||||| ||
|| '-/._|| ||||| ||
|| / ^|| ||||| ||
|| / '==HHHHH ||
|| /________""""" ||
|| `\ `\ ||
|| \ `\ / ||
|| \ `\/ ||
|| / ||
|| / ||
|| jgs /_____ ||
|| ||
'==================================================================='
LOOK EVEN IN GAG ASCII ART THEY'RE STILL GOOSE STEPPING

%
,-.
/ \ `. __..-,O THIS IS LIKE THAT EPISODE OF COSMOS
: \ --''_..-'.' WHERE CARL SAGAN FAST FORWARDS THROUGH TIME
| . .-' `. '. AND WE WATCH THE CONSTELLATIONS CHANGE AND
: . .`.' FORM A SPEAR AND A RADIO TELESCOPE
\ `. / ..
\ `. ' . YES I'VE GOT TO GET OUT MORE
`, `. \
,|,`. `-.\
'.|| ``-...__..-`
| |
|__|
/||\
//||\\
// || \\
__//__||__\\__
'--------------' SSt
%
,--. ,--.
( O ) ( O ) NOT TWO SECONDS AFTER BEING RELEASED INTO YOUR
`--' \ `--'
\ _ COMMUNITY I'M GOING TO "OFFEND" AGAIN BY WHICH
>-. / /|
`-.__.' I MEAN BEATING OFF TO CATALOG UNDERWEAR MODELS
%
____
/` ))) IF YOU LOOK CLOSELY YOU'LL SEE I'M NOT
/ `6 6 THE GOOD KIND OF CRIPPLE WHICH MERELY
) , > CAN'T RUN AWAY
\___\ _=/
__/ /__ RATHER I'M THE GROSS KIND OF CRIPPLE
===.__/`)__ _|\ THAT SHOULD NEVER HAVE SURVIVED WHATEVER
\/ ,/ _)_)_\ ORIGINALLY MADE A CRIPPLE
/./\ ( \ \
\_\ )_,-'`-./_______
_( \======+________ \
//|__ | , ) \
%' `% |____/ /\ \
% ' %' \ /__/\ \/,\
% -o- % \ )/ \_ ) \
% ' % ,'/ ,' ,\ \
b'ger % % / /\_'__,' '-`
% % \/( o )
```
%
(() PLEASE PUT A FUCKING BULLET IN ME
/|||\ FOR BEING SO STUPID AS TO DO THIS
(()))))
(|( */ /
))( ,` /
(|)()) /
( ) \ o ,....,
/, _) (\_ |:::::
.\\__| \ \ (:::::
/\\ | \_\ \;;;
( |)| \ \__)_(__
| | \ )
| | \ |
| | __ | :/
| | | \ |_____|
| | | \/ |
|___| | \ | )
I\__\ _| |.___._.'_
\`--, (_____( )
Sher^ `'' |_|
%
GET IT ?!??!?!?!? IT'S A REALLY
BIG CAT !!!!!!!!1! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH
OH MY GOD I'M SO FUNNY
| _^_^
\ ' / =v= |
.--. `. ,,, ,' \J_/`.
| | OO - 'oo - | \
| | .||- -\\- ||| ( \
jg | | bb \\ ||| _\|`-'
ONE FINE DAY I WILL SLIP THE CHAINS OF

MORTALITY ONCE I COME TO GRIPS WITH THIS
SIMPLE FACT:
I AM TOO USELESS TO CONTINUE LIVING

%
__ __
.' `...' `. "UNFINISHED GREETING CARD POEM #4"
__| | |__
.' \ . / `. I WISH I COULD SERVICE
| ./###\. | MORE AT ONCE
>---- |#####| ----< BUT I HAVE CANCER
| `\###/' | (OF THE CUNT)
`.__ / . \ __.'
/| | | PERHAPS THIS PICTURE
/ `.___.^.___.' WILL MAKE YOU GIVE IN
| SHUT UP ABOUT YOUR CUNT
| AND THE CANCER THEREIN
\
\ )\ THINKING ABOUT YOU
`. /' | THIS TIME OF YEAR
\ /' ) ALL THE BEST TO YOUR CUNT
\ /' /' FROM ALL OF US HERE
\( /'
) /' WE WOULD SURE HATE
| /' IF IT WAS SEWN SHUT
|( axiac ____________________
|| ____________________
%
.---------.
_ |:: [-=-] |
| | |_________|
|~|
|_| ,;;;;,
I\ ,__ ,;;;, __, ///\\\\\ WATCH OUT THERE'S A TANK !!!!!!
I |{ / . . \ } / " \\||
I | ) ( _ ) ( \_= _/// WATCH OUT IT'S EBOLA !!!!!!!!
I |{___'-. .-'___}\___ )_\
I ||~/,'~~~~~,\~~|'---(( \ WATCH OUT THERE'S A WHOLE SLEW
I \ // \\ | \ \ \ OF BORING FLAT-CHESTED TWATS !!!
I \/ // | | /-/
I (/ (/ | |/||\ NEXT E.R.
I | | | |
I | | |____/
I :-----_o_-----: || |
I | /~~|===|~~\ | (( |
jgs I || |===| || ||_/
/^\ "~ '^^^' "" ((__|
%
+-'~`---------------------------------/\--
||"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""" \\\\\\ \/~)
|| \\\\\\ \/_
|~~~~~~~~-________________-_________________\ ~--_
!---------|_________ ------~~~~~(-- )--~~
\ /~~~~\~~\ )--- \_ /(
|| | | \ () \\
\\____/_ / ()\ \\
`~~~~~~~~~-. \ \\
\ \ <($)> \\
\ \ \\
\ \ \\
\ \ \\
\ \ () \|
_\_\__====~~~
WELP I'VE SURVIVED ANOTHER WEEK OF WORK SO IT'S TIME TO

CELEBRATE !!!!!!
HOW ABOUT I EAT THIS GUN ???????

BY THAT I MEAN ACTUALLY TAKE IT APART AND EAT THE PIECES
LIKE CORPORAL KLINGER DID
%
.-.
(/^\)
(\ /) TO WONG FOO,
.-'-. PLEASE PUT ME TO DEATH
/(_I_)\ BECAUSE I AM DIFFERENT,
\\) (// JULIE NEWMAR
/ \
\ | /
\|/
/|\
\|/
jgs /Y\
%
_ ___
/' '\ / " \ I MISSED MY CHANCE TO BE IN THE MILLION
| ,--+-----4 / | MAN MARCH !!!!! OR THE ANTI-WAR MARCHES
',/ o o --.; OR WHATEVER THEY WERE
--._|_ ,--. _.,-- \----.
------'--`--' '-----,' VJ | DO THE PEOPLE MARCHING EVEN KNOW ??????
\_ ._\_. _,-'---._.' GO SADDAM !!!!!!!!!!!!! WEAPONS OF MASS
`--...--`` / DESTRUCTION IN THE HANDS OF ROGUE STATES
/###\ | | ?????? WE SAY YES !!!!!!!!!
|. `.-'-'.
.|| /, | CATCHY ISN'T IT
do_o00oo_,.ob
%
__..\/
/\ \ \\ IF YOU CAN'T TELL WHETHER YOU'RE WATCHING A-TEAM OR BANG BUS
/_/\_.___\ FEAR NOT !!!!!!!!!!!!!! IT'S REALLY VERY SIMPLE
/\\~()\()~\\ WAIT UNTIL THE END OF THE EPISODE
\_ _) _/
\ .//\\/jro IN A-TEAM THEY'LL HAVE BUILT A TANK, IN BANG BUS YOU'LL BE
/\----/\ WET BROKE AND STICK YOU FUCKING DISGUSTING WHORE GET OUT
\|----|/ NO CAB FARE JUST A DOOR TO THE FACE
| |
| _ |
| |_)|
| | |
| |
| |
| _ |
| |_ |
| |_ |
| |
| |
| __ |
| / |
| /_ |
| |
| |
Pru|____|
'------'
%
.'"".
c' )"/ OKAY IF I SIGN THIS RAPE CONTRACT I WANT
__> /_ TO MAKE IT CLEAR THAT I'M GOING TO GET
.-`_ ._'-. HARD, FAST, TROUBLE-FREE RAPE
( -' \ :/ )/
\\._| ( // BECAUSE I'VE HAD SOME BAD EXPERIENCE WITH
'-/) \(, RAPE CONTRACTS WHERE I SIGNED ON THE
/ ) ) DOTTED LINE (EVEN RIGHT NEXT TO THE X)
/ .'\ | AND THE RAPE WAS LACKADAISICAL, SUBDUED,
/.' \| OR EVEN NONEXISTENT
snd || ||
__|/ |/__
;_._) (,__;
%
YOU MIGHT MISTAKE THIS FOR A XXXXXXXXX
BOMB BUT IT IS IN FACT A DEAD XXXXXXXXXXXXX
Q*BERT WITH A SOCK IN ITS MOUTH XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
XXXXXXXXXX XXXXX
X XXXXXXXXXX XXXXX
XX X X XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
XX XXX XXXXX XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
XXX XXXXX XXXX XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
XX XXX XXX XX XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
XX X XX XXXXX XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
X XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
XXXXXXXXXXXXX
XXXXXXXXX
%
___________
/-/_"/-/_/-/| THIS WEARABLE COMPUTER ANNOUNCES TO THE WORLD
/"-/-_"/-_//|| THAT I AM A NECROPHILE
/__________/|/|
|"|_'='-]:+|/||
|-+-|.|_'-"||//
|[".[:!+-'=|//
|='!+|-:]|-|/
---------- CV
%
__ _,,--""""-.
."" "", \ HANDS UP WHO THINKS PORN STARS
.--,/ _,---, \ ARE WAY TOO ROUGH WITH GUYS' BALLS
| \ '-- | \
\ \ ' j |
\__,-c .c \ / |
| "--" f
\_ f ,- j _,---,_
\, |._ / |--+""| ." ".
) J| Y / ! | , \
/ / \ [ ( uu-' ! ;
/ ( \ | | : !
`-' -uuu-' \ /
", ."
`""---"'
%
_.-"\
_.-" \ WON'T SOMEONE BE THE POURNELLE TO MY NIVEN ??!?!?
,-" \
( \ \ THAT IS TO SAY WON'T SOMEONE BE THE LESS TALENTED
\ \ \ ONE WHOSE SOLO WORK SUCKS BUT WHOSE SOCIOLOGY
\ \ \ ALTHOUGH NUTTY KEEPS MY PIE-EYED SOCIALIST
\ \ _.-; HORSESHIT UNDER CONTROL ?????????????????????
\ \ _.-" :
\ \,-" _.-"
$ _.-"
`--" shimrod
%
________
/________\
//( ( ( ( \\
|| <o> <o>((|| WHEN I SEE A STRAIGHT MAN
||) ) ` ) )|| WEARING WOMEN'S CLOTHES I THINK
|| (\___( ( || "MOLESTED AS A KID"
\|) ) $_|/
/ ((\_v_/ \
/ /) x \ \
| | x | |
| \ x / |
| | x | |
| |\ x /| |
| |/\ x /\| |
| | \x/ | |
| | V | |
/____\ /____\
| | | |
/ \ / \
| | | |
`~~| |~~'
|\ /|
| \ / |
|___V___|
| / \ |
| / \ |
|/ \|
/ \
/ \ Alyssa
______/ \_______
============================
%
.-""-.
(___/\ \ I THINK TRACI I LOVE YOU
( |' ' ) ) WAS HER FINEST WORK
__) _\=_/ (
____(__.' ` \ )
.(/"-.._.(' ; (
/ / . (' , | )
_.`'---.._/ /.__ ____.'_| |_/
'-'``'-._ / | `-........'
jgs `;-"`; |
`'.__/
%
_.---._
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_.-~ ~\
.-~ _.;
:-._ _.-~ ./
`-._~-._ _..__.-~ _.-~
/ ~-._~-._ / .__..--~----._
\_____(_;-._\. _.-~_/ ~).. . \
/(_____ \`--...--~_.-~______..-+_______)
.(_________/`--...--~/ _/nad /\
/-._ \_ (___./_..-~__.....__..-~./
`-._~-._ ~\--------~ .-~_..__.-~ _.-~
~-._~-._ ~---------' / .__..--~
~-._\. _.-~_/
\`--...--~_.-~
`--...--~
I ONCE AGAIN DEDICATE THIS TOGO'S SANDWICH TO THE

PLAYTOYS OF THE PETS OF THE CLOSE FRIENDS
OF THE FAMILIES OF THE VICTIMS OF 9/11
WAIT ON SECOND THOUGHT I'LL HAVE A #9

%
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|========|_______|_____|##H##|#######|========|
!=======|=========|____|##H#|=========|=======!
!=========! /#####\ !=========!
/#######\ /#######\ /#######\
d#########V#########V#########h ABANDON
H#########H#########H#########H IN
|###########H#######H###########| PLACE
|###########|"""""""|###########|
apx """"""""""" """""""""""
%
_____________________
| |\ | EXCUSE ME SIR
| |\ | . |
| | `\___|_/ | EXCUSE ME I LIKE LOST A BOX OF AIDS
| `/' `\-. -._ |
| .-. ,-.. `\._`. | YOU SEE I TOTALLY WROTE "AIDS" ON IT
| | +| | + | ;. ` |
| (\,--.\_.'), ; | BUT NOT LIKE "BEWARE CAUTION DANGER"
| /\`--' _./' /_. | BECAUSE YOU KNOW, AIDS
| OO`m/`m/'OO' |
|_____________________| ANYWAY I NEED TO FILL OUT A FORM (INSURANCE)
%
/|
/ /
/ /
_.--"/ /""''''----....__
.--'``'' .`0 , ';-''''''''''`\-._
.'`/ .' .' |,-` /-' )) `-_
.' ((' .' .-` / `-' '.
/ .' /.-` / '.
/ / `'---''` `-
/ / `-_
L / '_
J / HANDS UP WHO WANTS TO PLAY '_
L / "TOUCH MY WANG AND GET AN ELECTRIC SHOCK" - sk
J / `_
|/ IT'S NOT SO MUCH A GAME AS WHAT HAPPENS OVER AND OVER -
| \
%
__ HORTON HEARS A PAINFUL SCREAM FROM A RAPE VICTIM
/,-
||)
\\_, )
`--'
ejm
%
,,,,,,,,
,|||````||||
,,,,||||| ||, IT SUCKS BEING AND AMOEBA BELIEVE YOU ME
,||||``````` `||
,|||` |||, IF YOU CAN GET THE GIG AS A PARAMECIUM
||` ...., `||| TAKE IT IT'S MUCH BETTER
|| :::::::: |||,
|| :::::::' || ``|||, SHIT EVEN A CONTRACTILE VACUOLE
||, :::::' `||| GETS BETTER BENNIES
`||, |||
`|||, || || ,||
`|| |||`
|| ,,,||||
|| ,||||||```
,|| ,,|||||`
,||` || |||`
|||` ||
,|| ||
||` ||
|||, |||
`|||,, ,|||
``||||||||`
%
_____.-._____ NOTE: I AM IN A BLENDER
'-------------'
| (o)(0) | /
| o.(.--).o | ____/
\ O` ) : ò /
| o.( _).O |
\O' `- 'o /
| >|< |
\_______/
.'==========='.
/ o o o o o o o \ LGB
'-----------------'
%
OKAY I'LL GIVE YOU ONE OPERATIONAL 100 KILOTON
THERMONUCLEAR NUCLEAR WARHEAD IF YOU
BEAT ME OFF AND ASK NO FURTHER QUESTIONS
IT'S AN OFFER YOU CAN REFUSE BUT REALLY SHOULDN'T

NOT BECAUSE IT SOUNDS FISHY BUT BECAUSE
IT'S A MIGHTY GOOD OFFER
____
____ , -- - --- -.
((( (( /// // ' \\-\ \ )) ))
/// /// (( _ _ -- \\-- \\\ \)
((( == (( -- (( )) )- ) __ )) )))
(( (( -= (( --- ( _ ) --- )) ))
(( __ (( ()((( \\ / /// )) __ )))
\\_ (( __ | | __ ) _ ))
,| | |
`-._____,-'
`--.___,--'
| |
| ||
| || |
, _, | | |
( (( (((( /,| __| | )))) ))) ) ))
(())) __/ ||( ,, ((//\ ) ))))
---((( ///_.___ _/ ||,,_____,_,,, (|\ \___.....__.. ))---
____/ |/______________| \/_/\__
/ \/_/| ool
/ |___|___|__ || ___
\ |___|___|_ |/\ /__/|
/ | | \/ |__|/
%
FIGHT YOUR WAY ACROSS WORLD WAR II IN THESE REALISTIC MAPS !!!!!!!!!!!!!
_,. ___. .
____ ,._ --=:_ *: ======((|_L]_ \\
c:____]((=- :* _:=- - - - - `' (__(____) \\
/ // ___ `' ,._ \\___.
/ // _/_/_]=== :* _:=-- ,. ___. _((|_L]_
_/ //_.(_(_)(_).. `' --=: *: ======((|_L]_ _/(__(\_ _)\_
/____\_\ `.... `' (__(____)
BOCAGE *** EL ALAMEIN *** MIDWAY *** BATTLEAXE *** CUPERTINO

%
I DID MY TAXES IN ADOBE PHOTOSHOP THIS YEAR
YES WE MACINTOSH USERS MUST EVEN DO OUR TAXES
WITH IMPECCABLE STYLE!!! THIS WAY AT LEAST WHEN I GET
AUDITED THEY'LL APPRECIATE MY USE OF GAUSSIAN BLUR ON LINE 42
- ,--_--.
- \ `.
- "-_ _ \
- / F )
- - / / `--'
- / /
- / /
- __/ /
/,-pJ
- _--"-L ||
," "//
- / ,-""".//\
/ / // J____
J / // L/----\
. F J //__//^---'
` ___J F '----| |
` J---| F F F
` `. ` `--J L J F
. .` L J J F
. . J \ ," F
. `.` \ "--" ,"
hs ` ``."-____-"
%
,'''''-._
; ,. <> `-._ I'M A BOLIDE
; \' _,--'"
; (
; , ` \
;, , \
; | |
; |, | |\
; | | | \
|.-\ ,\ |\ :
|.- `. `-. | ||
:.- `-. \ ';;
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_,--''__,| / \ :
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___,-| |----'' / | `._`-. `----
\ \ `""" """ --
`.`. --'
jrei `.`-._ _, ,- __,-
`-.`.
--' `;
%
I'M OFFICIALLY CANONIZING ALL THE PERT LITTLE BOYS
_______
@@@@@@@@@@@
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@
@@@@@@@222@@@@@@@
(@@@@@/_____\@@@@@)
@@@@(_______)@@@@
@@@{ " L " }@@@
\@ \ - / @/
/ ~ \
/ == == \
< \ __ / >
/ \ | / \
/ \ ==+== \
| \ ___|_ |
| \//~~~|---/ * ~~~~ | }
{ /| |-----/~~~~| | /
\_ | / |__|_ / NB
%
_.oo.
_.u[[/;:,. .odMMMMMM'
.o888UU[[[/;:-. .o@P^ MMM^
oN88888UU[[[/;::-. dP^ CASSINI TO PEEK UP SATURN'S
dNMMNN888UU[[[/;:--. .o@P^ SKIRT, RUN AWAY WHEN THE
,MMMMMMN888UU[[/;::-. o@^ POLICE ARE CALLED
NNMMMNN888UU[[[/~.o@P^
888888888UU[[[/o@^-..
oI8888UU[[[/o@P^:--.. FOLKS WE SHOULD ALL BE GRATEFUL THAT
.@^ YUU[[[/o@^;::---.. IT'S SATURN, NOT EARTH, THAT NOW HAS
oMP ^/o@P^;:::---.. TO DEAL WITH THE NIGHTMARE OF CASSINI
.dMMM .o@^ ^;::---... POTENTIALLY CRASHING INTO IT AND CAUSING
dMMMMMMM@^` `^^^^ A NUCLEAR DISASTER THE LIKES OF WHICH WE
YMMMUP^ HAVE NEVER KNOWN !!!!!!!
^^
YES I'M AN ANTINUKE ENVIRONMENTALIST AND THEREFORE

NOT ONLY NOT VERY KNOWLEDGEABLE BUT RATHER FIXATED
ON TILTING AT MY WINDMILLS
%
,--. URINE
\ _\_ BLOOD
_\/_|_\____.'\ TEARS
-(___.--._____(
\ \
\ \ FIN
`--'
jg
%
|\ |\ /| /| |\ /|
| \ | \ // // | \ || |\
||\\ ||\\ // // ||\\ || ||
|| >> || \\ / | << || \\ || ||
||// || || //|| \\ || || || ||
|// | \ || |/ || \\ | \ || || ||
|<< ||\\|| || >> ||\\|| || ||
||\\ || \ | || // || \ | || ||
|| >> || || || // || || \\ ||
||// || || || << || || \\||
| / |/ || |/ \\ |/ || \ |
|/ \| \| \| \|
STUPID LITTLE PUNK BITCH
%
-. . .-.
' / / ./ YOU AMERICANS ARE BARBARIANS
_ __, .--' / <
~_-~ / < < \_ .-~7 YOU DISGUST US
_. \ > \.-'\ >` ~ .-~
< >< / , 7 < ~7 WAIT HELP HELP HELP
/_/ ! \ .-L \ _// <'~ THERE'S SOMEONE COMMITTING
~ .-~ ! ! /o& `' . 7 GENOCIDE IN OUR BACKYARD
_>_._ > _.-' '-._.-._.--./ AND WE CAN'T DO ANYTHING
'-~ ~._/ ABOUT IT !!!!!! COME SAVE US
,-.-' AMERICA !!1!!!!!
<
\
7 .. .
! _.-. .. < ~v~ PHEW THANKS AMERICA
.-~---' .-.-~ ~\ < \ /
) > o < > \ \_.--._ TODAY WE ALL LOVE
/ .-' <> \ \ 7 . ' THE AMERICANS !!!!!
7 > . - ' > _\ ! _,-' `.
~--,.--' ._ /.- ~` < \ . \ YOU BARBARIANS !!!!
7/ ~ \.,< . ` `-~-.-~
%
z
\ss. BONSAI TREE MY ASS THAT'S A DYKEPUNCHER
.zzZ/
\Ssss, WHAT'S A DYKEPUNCHER ?????? *POW* SPLIT LIP
/ /
^ ^ ANYWAY I'M SORRY I HIT YOU PLEASE BAIL ME OUT
%
__)),
//_ _)
( "\" MY JIZZ IS LOW-CARB
\_-/
,---/ '---.
/ - - \
/ \_. _|__,/ \
/ )\ )\_ \
/ _/ ( ' ) / /
/ | (_____) | /
/,' / \/ /,
_/(_ ( ._, )-'
`--,/ |____|__|
| ) |
| / |
| / \ |
/ `| | _)
| | | |
| / \ |
| | \ |
| \ | \_
gnv /__( '-._`,
%
..______....__________,____,,,.
`'------- ';;-..-----.-. |
; ;; ;; '-''-.__,'
', ,;' '
'''' CB
BASICALLY I JUST SPRAY THIS M60 AND

ALL THE BAD GUYS TURN INTO STICKS AND HATS
%
_._ _.-*""*-._ _._ NONE OF US WILL EVER FORGET THAT DAY
.' `*. .*' `. WHEN GROVER AND GEORGE TAUGHT US A
. .@*" ; : "*@. . LESSON ABOUT THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN
` ' .' `. ` ' THE VOICED VELAR PLOSIVE AND THE
/`..-' `-..'\ VOICED ALVEOLAR-POSTALVEOLAR AFFRICATE
. .
.*" "*.
' '\`*-._ _.-*'/` `
: ` \ :`*----*'; / ' ;
. \ `-.__.-' / . WAIT THIS ISN'T GROVER THIS IS
`. `. .' .' KERMIT JESUS CHRIST WHAT DO YOU HAVE
[bug] `. `. .' .' TO DO TO GET GOOD HELP AROUND HERE
`-. `*--*' .-'
`*-.__.-*' THAT'S THE LAST TIME I OUTSOURCE
%
_____ THE BEST PART ABOUT WHACKING OFF IS THAT
/~/~ ~\ THERE ARE ONLY 100 MILLION CASUALTIES
| | \
\ \ \
\ \ \
--\ \ .\''
--==\ \ ,,i!!i,
''"'',,}{,,
%
_n_________________
|_|_______________|_|
| ,-------------. | YOU SEE I'M A WELL-RESPECTED AND POWERFUL
| | .---------. | | GAME DESIGNER, PROGRAMMER, COMPUTER LANGUAGE
| | | | | | MARKETER AND EVANGELIST
| | | | | |
| | | | | | I'M JUST MOWING LAWNS, WORKING IN VIETNAMESE
| | | | | | RESTAURANTS, AND STARTING A NEW STINT AS A
| | `---------' | | PAID SIGNATURE COLLECTOR IN ORDER TO EXPAND
| `---------------' | MY HORIZONS
| _ |
| _| |_ ,-. | IT'S TOTALLY NOT BECAUSE I'M COMPLETELY FULL
||_ O _| ,-. "._,"| OF SHIT OR ANYTHING
| |_| "._," A |
| _ _ B |
| // // | hjw
| // // \\\\\\ | `97
| ` ` \\\\\\ ,
|________...______,"
%
.$$$$$. .
|/())))) $)'\$==. %%%%%%\%%\
/ ((((==) ') - $$$'===%%%%\'.|
|((((( <( \-_/$$ )" _)%% )/|
| ())))_/._\._) //_.\_ %% ( /
| \_) /.--._\___/__.-.\ (.' /
\_ ( __._'_..'.__. ) .'
\ ) (_.(_)/( /
\\ / \ / \ // SHIT THAT'S HOT
) \ ). \ / (
/ ' \ / \| ' \
( | | / \/ | )_)
:-'-- /| / /| / \
_\| / | / .-' | / '. \
_/ | / \| ( ( \ '.\
( ).'/ | | ) | | | \
/.' (_ / | / ) \'| |._)
.oO | / | \/ \| \ |
|( \ ) mrf)\ )_\
_____(__'-.___)/____..'__)___'._'.__
%
___ ______
/__/\ ___/_____/\
\ \ \ / /\\ OW OW OW I DON'T
\ \ \____ / \
___\ \ \ /\___/___ \ CARE WHAT IT IS JUST
/ / \__\/ / \ /\ \
____/ /_______/ \ / _\/_____ TAKE IT OUT OF ME
/ / \ \ / / / /\
__/ / \ \ / / / / _\__ OH IT HURTS
/ / / \_______\/ / / / / /\
/_/___/___________________/ /_______/ /___/ \ WHEN YOU TOUCH
\ \ \ ___________ \ \ \ \ \ /
\_\ \ / /\ \ \ \ \___\/ IT JUST EXPANDS
\ \/ / \ \ \ \ /
\__/ / \ \ \_______\/ INTO LARGER MORE
/__________/ \ \ /
\ _____ \ /_____\/ UNCOMFORTABLE SHAPES LIKE
\ / /\ \ / \ \ \
/____/ \ \ / \ \ \ SOME KIND OF GROSS THING
\ \ /___\/ \ \ \
\____\/ \__\/ DESIGNED TO HURT MORE OW OW
%
.________________.
MM. .MM | WE CALL THEM |
"MM._______.MM" | FLYOVER STATES |
/ \ | FOR A |
/ dMMb dMMb \ | GOOD REASON |
/ dM"""Mb dM"""Mb \ .-----||---------.
| MMMMM"/O\"MMMMM | ||o
| "MMM"/ \"MMM" | .dMMM 8
| dMMMMMMMM
\ \ / dMMMMMMMP
AMMMMMMMMM\_____/MMMMMMMMMMMM"
%
_____________________________________________________________
| |"!"|"!"|"!"|"!"|"!"|"!"|"!"|"!"|"!"|"!"|"!"|"!"|"!"|"!"| |
| F U C K I N G F A G G G O T S |
|---------------------------=====+=====-----------------------|
|___:891,:,!,,2::!:3n:4:5:6|7891:|:!:!2|:!.3:!:4!5:67891!:!___|mmm
---| |891"!"|""2""|"3n|4|5"6|7891"!"|"|2""!"3"|"4|5"67891"!| |
| |
mmm|___HOO_DEE_BOO_CLEVERLY_ENCODED_HOOOOOO_5:::6::7::8:9:1:1c___|
| 9!1"1"2"3"4"5"67892"|"||""3n"|""4""|"5"!"6""7""8"9"1"1 |===
|__________________________|_____|__apx|______________________|
=====+=====
%
_____ _____
---' __\______ ______/__ `---
______) (______
__) (__
__) (__
---.______) VK (______.---
HINDSIGHT IS JUST LIKE REGULAR SIGHT

ONLY MORE FINGER-POINTY
%
.........
.'------.' | B L O G C U N T S
| .-----. | |
| | | | |
__| | | | |;. _______________
/ |*`-----'.|.' `; //
/ `---------' .;' //
/| / .''''////////;' //
|=| .../ ######### /;/ //|
|/ / / ######### // //||
/ `-----------' // ||
/________________________________//| ||
`--------------------------------' | ||
: | || | || |__LL__|| || | ||
: | || | || | || `""'
n | || `""' | ||
M | || | ||
| || | || MM
`""' `""'
%
,
\. /J ..---.. .-```-.
L`\ \-.__.-` L .-`` ``-. / \
| \ \ J .` _. `. J D E A N
J \ `\ L/ /` \ . \ \ |
| \ `, | ``-.o\ /_.-``\ L L S T A R K
L `\ | J , `/\` , | J
J `\ / L /( `` )\ J | L I C K S
| , `\ | `\`---.....--`/` | L
L | ` | \ (__Y__) / L-.-' D I C K
J |\ | `-.____.-` / __
| | \ |`. .` ( )
`-._.-` \ | `-.. ..-` `-`
`-.___.-` ``---``
%
LOOK IT'S A SPACE TURTLE
.
_..------.._ + ,'
.-' i `-. ,;
. .'. |. `. .'/
`-_ ;. , jl.____ `. .'.'
`;-_ ;. ._..---""" """--.:' /
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+ `. |'-^Y^- | // .
(`\ \_."._/\...-;..-.
`._'._,'` ``` _.:---''`
;-....----'''`
/ ( +
sk/itz | (`
`.^'
%
MY MUSCLES ARE PEELING FROM MY BONES
\ SORRY I DIDN'T REALIZE IT WAS REAL ACID

\ I THOUGHT IT WAS FAKE ACID
\
\ __ __ /
,-' `' \ _---``--
/ _ _ ; __ `.
/ / `' \; /`----- )
/ .-/ ,( ), \-. ;
| $ \ / )/;
| - _5 `7 -;
/ ( ___-' `-____ |
( ___`-_ \ ____|
\ / `,/ \ _(\__ / \
\ ; \ .' /' ì. / |
| \ _-'( _\__-/ `- |
| ` ,` `_ | BP
%
, ,
\y ,--.y/
/,---. )\ CLEARLY THIS WOMAN COULD BE USED AS
/ (((\$\ \ A MAKESHIFT LIFE RAFT
\ \\-_/ / /
\ i i / ESPECIALLY CONSIDERING THE
(_)=(_) POST-MORTEM BLOATING
) . (
/\---/\
/ )-( \
/ / \ \
/ ," ". \
/ / \ \
hjw /-) (-\
/ ^! !^ \
%
(`. ,-,
`\ `. ,;' /
\`. \ ,'/ .'
__ `.\ Y /.'
.-' ''--.._` ` (
.' / ` EITHER WAY I'M PROTEIN OR MULCH
, ` ' Q ' /
, , `._ \
| ' `-.;_'
` ; ` ` --,.._;
` , ) .'
`._ , ' /_
; ,''-,;' ``-
``-..__\``--`
%
__.--'|
___.---' | CAN WE TALK
___.---' |
_.--' %%% \\\ |
| %%%%% .. | | BECAUSE I BEAT OFF AND
| %%c '' U. ' | WANT TO CUDDLE NOW
J %! .U __=__ |
L __=__ | \ |
L / \ |. \\-`-.
| // _) _)._.--||\ \\__.>-._
| _.\\ || \\___.--' `--._
J-._ \\_____.----' `--.__
J `-<_ `-.__
L `-. _>-.
+. `-._ ___.--' |
| `-._ `-._ __.--' |
`-._ `-. __.--' _.--'
`-._ `-._.-' _.--' |
`-. | _.--'
Petrus `-. | _.--'
`-. | _.--'
`|'
|
%
.-"-. .-"-. .-"-. .-"-.
_/_-.-_\_ _/.-.-.\_ _/.-.-.\_ _/.-.-.\_
/ __} {__ \ /|( o o )|\ ( ( o o ) ) ( ( o o ) )
/ // " \\ \ | // " \\ | |/ " \| |/ " \|
/ / \'---'/ \ \ / / \'---'/ \ \ \'/^\'/ \ .O. /
\ \_/`"""`\_/ / \ \_/`"""`\_/ / /`\ /`\ /`"""`\
\ / \ / / /|\ \ / \
SEE NO EVIL HEAR NO EVIL SPEAK NO EVIL SHIT NO EVIL
%
,`', ,,
`. ':. ;,'' ;
:.`. :_;` _.' PHARMACOPOEIA
`'. ':.__; ,'
'._':__,-',_) _,,,
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,7" )
) _ ,;'
`-./ {{{/ (
{{{ (
ctr {{
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%
__
/ ; I WISH
_.--"""-.. _. I WISH
/F `-' [
] , , , ; I HADN'T FUCKED
'--L__J_.-"" ',_; THAT FISH
'-._J
fsc
%
~ ~ COME ON YOU APES DO YOU WANT TO LIVE FOREVER !?!?!?
\______ /
/ o | ARE YOU RATED TO REPAIR THE M3 TACTICAL HELMET RICO
/ , , o |
/ \. _| MOBILE INFANTRY AND FLEET DON'T MIX !!!!11!
/..---'' \
\ ~ WE'RE GONNA FIGHT !!!! AND WE'RE GONNA WIN !!!1!!
/ __ nm
| / \ M.I. DOES THE DYING ... FLEET JUST DOES THE FLYING !!!1
\ _ / >*<
(LONG UNCOMFORTABLE PAUSE) WHAT IF I'M GAY ??????
%
_ _
( \ / )
\ \.-------------./ /
\( )/
VK `.___________.'
I'M A DISCORDIAN !!!!!!! NO REALLY I'M GOING TO TRY TO CONVINCE

YOU THAT I'M COMPLETELY SINCERE IN MY DISCORDIAN BELIEFS BECAUSE
I'M A COMPLETE FUCKING DIPSHIT
THE ONLY THING LAMER THAN A STUPID GAG IS TRYING TO CONVINCE

PEOPLE THAT YOU ARE IN FACT ACTUALLY SERIOUS ABOUT THE GAG WHEN
YOU'D HAVE TO BE FUCKING RETARDED FOR THAT TO BE TRUE
SO WHICH IS IT ARE YOU A [ ] CUNT OR [ ] RETARDED OR PERHAPS A

[ ] RETARDED CUNT (CHECK ONE FUCKFACE)
%
__)),
//_ _) WHAT DO YOU MEAN ROCK HUDSON'S GAY
( "\"
\_-/
,---/ '---.
/ - - \
/ \_. _|__,/ \
/ )\ )\_ \
/ _/ ( ' ) / /
/ | (_____) | /
/,' / \/ /,
_/(_ ( ._, )-'
`--,/ |____|__|
| ) |
| / |
| / \ |
/ `| | _)
| | | |
| / \ |
| | \ |
| \ | \_
gnv /__( '-._`,
%
,,,
_ _ $((.
__,,../v\,----../ `-..=.>"" _\,_
_______;/____<_ \_______\ \___////______;______
ctr ,"/ `.) `.) ```
/," /7__ /7_ I DON'T KNOW WHY EVERYONE MADE SUCH
(( ' \\\ ))) A BIG DEAL OUT OF THE TIME THEY
\\ KISSED I MEAN I FOUND THE SCENE
)) WHERE THEY WERE NAKED IN A TUB
(( SCRUBBING EACH OTHER TO BE TEN TIMES
) MORE BEATOFFABLE
/
I MEAN WHAT'S XENA
%
SINCE WE'RE DRAWN BY AN UNTALENTED MORON
WANNA LICK EACH OTHER'S DICKS
_ _ / DON'T MIND IF I DO
(\'/)
(_(.)_) /
(/|$ ,
(\_,|__ OO
_|_(\ .||.
jg_________ |_| '____________________ dd ____________
%
NEVER TAKE A PICTURE OF YOUR WANG WITH A DIGITAL CAMERA
IT'S LIKE STARING INTO THE FACE OF GOD
__ /
/__\ ____/
\__/
||
||
||
\__
\
as
%
.-""-. .-""-.
/ \ / \
| | | |
| | | | MORE LIKE SQUIRTYUIOP
| | _ _ | |
; /`/ \`\ ;
| / \ |
\ / \ / AM I RIGHT FOLKS
jgs | | | |
HHHHHH HHHHHH
(( ))
)) ____ __//
// /.--.\ ((--'
((____// )) ))
'----' ((____/
%
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`_)) __, _.-"""--.
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\ \ ` / |`\`;.`\ / .' `\ |. \
'-\_.' ; /| ';| _ / ' / .--. )/ \ ;
THE / , / (_/ ;.' / './ .--, / _ `\ ; ;
BLACK | ,;' \ (_( $\ \ /` _ \ \_( ) | | |
VERA | | | Y /` )/ / / | |
WANG \ (_ | ; | .' / | |
/( _) ,.-' / , ; / /` ; ;
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'---; `"-; '----' , / | \ / /
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;o0__ A POO DOTH POKE
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3nnn/ \cgmm _ (
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..--""| THERE'S A HOLE
| |
| .---' THERE'S A HOLE
(\-.--| |---------.
/ $ \ | | \ THERE'S A HOLE IN THE TIP OF MY DICK
|:. | | | |
|:. | |o| |
|:. | `"` |
|:. |_ __ __ _ __ /
`""""`""|=`|"""""""`
|=_|
jgs |= |
%
_._
.' '.
/ \ ___
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| `\.---._| '. .-'-.}`.<>.`{-'-. /
.--; . ( .' '. \ .---.{ <>()<> }.--..-'
/ _ \_ './ _. `-./ _},'<>`.{_ `\
( = \ )`""'\;--. .' .-'/ )=..=;`\`- \
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( =_/ )__..-\ .'-..___.' : '.___..-'
\ }/ / ;.____.-;/\ | ` |
'--' | .' | \ \ /'. _.'
\ ' / |\.\ ; /`--.-'
) .'`-. / \ \ |`|
/__.-' \_.'jgs \ \ |-|
WHEN ALL YOU HAVE IS A BLOG EVERYTHING LOOKS LIKE A VAMPIRE

%
CHECK ME OUT I CAN BEAT OFF AND PLAY GRAND THEFT
AUTO AT ONCE (BUT NOT MUCH ELSE REALLY)
_
.(_)_
/, \ .
<_) |\
__/._ .-|/_ ` . '
( . ) . | .
: .d8b-'/ _ \.-./ _
a:f.-.-..-.--.--._ ( ( Y `n ____________'...`__________
'/ '-. . - : : # .v . ----==----- .
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'., .-' "' # ` `=. . -
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.--._
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_ \; .--. / "-: / 'o.` \.o`; ; .-"" ( ""
/ "-. : : ;,: . .$; :/:_.---.-. :: .-""""^._
/ \_.gp.____.-j ;; ' __ :_; _.--`-.t ; Y (
: ;`^$$P^" ; : \ ' ` ; : ; l--t"'.;_ ,_.-. ;
; / \ ( : \ t-.___ / ;/ ,---=-: \ ;o; .o.` :
: .-" \ ) ; `.; """\ .' .o' :o; ; : ; ;
; : ""--.._ `. : .'"-. Y .d.: : ; Ts,-. .-: `--
.' "-._`.; .' \ \ .---, ; : ---. ` :
; \ :.---: : ;-- __;
: ;--.. " ) ; _:tjtjt-;
; : """"-.__L./ '^:;:^' `-._
bug : : /\ :
EVERYONE KNOWS WOMEN VOTE FOR THE PRESIDENT BASED ON HOW GOOD
HE LOOKS AND HOW LIKELY HE SEEMS TO BE LIKE SOMEONE WHO WOULD
SIT AND LISTEN TO THEM TALK ALL GODDAMN DAY
%
(
) (
___...(-------)-....___
.-"" ) ( ""-.
.-'``'|-._ ) _.-|
/ .--.| `""---...........---""` | COFFEE
/ / | | IS
| | | | FOR
\ \ | | CLOSERS
`\ `\ | |
`\ `| |
_/ /\ /
(__/ \ /
_..---""` \ /`""---.._
.-' \ / '-.
: `-.__ __.-' :
: ) ""---...---"" ( :
'._ `"--...___...--"` _.'
jgs \""--..__ __..--""/
'._ """----.....______.....----""" _.'
`""--..,,_____ _____,,..--""`
`"""----"""`
%
+ ,*
_ / I DEFY ANYONE TO IDENTIFY
' `-' + WHAT THE FUCK THIS IS SUPPOSED TO BE
/ +
Gr
%
____
/(( ))
( )6 6( ) IF MEN HAD TO HAVE BABIES THEY
(_) l (_) WOULDN'T BE ABLE TO STAND CRAMPS
\ <> ) OR GIVING BIRTH !1!1111!!
____) (_____
( \____/ )
) ( )( ) (
/ / \ / \ \
/ / \ / \ \
\ \ )==( / /
\ \ / \ / /
'\\/ \//'
'|\` '|\`
\ /
\ / MAN WYMYN ARE SO CYYL IT'S A WYNDER
) ( WE ARYN'T IN CHYRGE YF THY WYRLD !!!!!!!
jgs/akg / \ WYMYN RYYL !!!11!!11!!!!!!11111!!!!
/ \
/ \
/ \
/ \
/ \
`-...., ,..-'
`-..-'
%
,-.
_,. / / I THINK YANCY BUTLER'S FINEST WORK
; \____,-==-._ ) WAS IN DROP ZONE
//_ `----' {+>
` `'--/ /-'`(
/ /
dew `='
%
/"\ ASCII RIBBON CAMPAIGN
\ / AGAINST BAD THINGS THAT HAPPEN LIKE
X BONGS THAT GET ALL PLUGGED UP
/ \ AND YOU HAVE TO SUCK HARD OR
| | TOTALLY GET OUT THE PAPERCLIP
%
{)~_</>
.-__/%. AT THIS RATE THERE'S NO WAY I'M
( % `. GOING TO GET PROSTATE CANCER
`. % )
` ---- '
//\\
| \ \`
|__\ \_\
ejm -' ,'
%
_,--"^"--._
,'\ /`. DONE WITH WORK !!!!!!!!!
,' \_______/ `.
| / \ |
| / \ |
| _/ \_ |
\'' `-. ,-' ``/
\ `-._,-' /
\ | / AND NOW TO CELEBRATE WITH AN
`-.._ | _,,-' IT'S-STILL-TOO-HOT-TO-JERK-OFF JERK
hjm ``"''
%
___
,-"" `.
,' _ e )`-._
/ ,' `-._<.===-'
/ /
/ ;
_ / ; I'M LIKE THE GOOSE THAT LAID
(`._ _.-"" ""--..__,' | THE GOLDEN EGG EXCEPT THAT
<_ `-"" \ I SHIT CHOCOLATE
<`- :
(__ <__. ;
`-. '-.__. _.' /
\ `-.__,-' _,'
`._ , /__,-'
""._\__,'< <____
| | `----.`.
| | \ `.
; |___ \-``
\ --<
`.`.<
hjw `-'
%
::: =, ; I'M GOING TO CHOOSE THE
;;=;;=== M PORN STAR NAME "MERCURY
,=YVRMBBMMR=, :i= ORBITZ" BECAUSE QUITE
:iVRRMMMMMMBMMM :=; ==;====== FRANKLY I'M NOT ALL
=tYMMMMMMBBMMM;=Y ,::;==iMMMMMMMMMM THAT BRIGHT
:;;:;=;,... .......,,,,,,,,,:;;==Y=tYMMMMMMMM
;.,:,..... ....,,,,,,,,,,,,,:;;;==YYMRMMMMMM;
....... .,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,::;;;=YtVBMMMMM
;t ... .,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,::;;i=RiRMMMMM
,=.. .,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,:::;;=iYBBMM
.,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,::;;;;tVB
:VMM .,,,,,,,,,,,,:,,,::;;=
,;VBM .,,,,,,,,,,,,,:,::
,,== `,,,,,,, WT
%
------ _____
/ \ ___\ ___/ ___
--/- ___ / \/ / / / \
/ / \__ //_ \
/ \ / ___ |
| ___ \/+--/ /
\__ \ \ /
\__ | / EVERYBODY WATCH OUT
\ /____ / / | / FOR HURRICANE CHARLEY !!!!
_____/ ___ \/ /\
\__ / / | |
/ \____/ \ / // OR AS I CALL IT
// / / // / /\ /-_-/\//-__- MR. AND MRS. TOODLES
/ / // / \__// / / / //
// / / // / // / // /
/// // / / / // / //
// // // / // / /
/ / / / / / / /
/// / / / // // / // //
/// / / / / / /
/// / // / / // / / / /
// /// / /// / /
%
_ _.,----,
__ _.-._ / '-. - ,._ \)
| `-)_ '-. \ / < _ )/" } HEY LET'S PLAY QUIDDICH
/__ '-. \ '-, ___(c-(6)=(6)
, `'. `._ '. _,' >\ " ) WHEREIN I BASH YOUR HEAD
:;;,,'-._ '---' ( ( "/`. -='/ AGAINST THE TOILET OVER AND
;:;;:;;, '..__ ,`-.`)'- '--' OVER AGAIN
;';:;;;;;'-._ /'._| Y/ _/' \
'''"._ F | _/ _.'._ `\ WHEN GREY GOO COMES OUT
L \ \/ '._ \ I WIN
.-,-,_ | `. `'---, \_ _|
// 'L / \, ("--',=`)7
| `._ : _, \ /'`-._L,_'-._
'--' '-.\__/ _L .`' './/
[ ( /
) `{ WELL WE ALL WIN REALLY
snd \__)
%
.-.
(/^\) I MAY CHOKE MYSELF ON THIS COCK UNTIL I
(\ /) THROW UP BUT I WON'T SWALLOW THE JIZZ BECAUSE
.-'-. AT LEAST I HAVE SOME DIGNITY
/(_I_)\
\\) (// SPIT ON MY FACE ?!?!?!?!? FINE
/ \
\ | / JIZZ UP MY FACE ?!?!?!? A-OKAY
\|/
/|\ BUT SWALLOW YOUR SPURT ?!??!!? NOW WAY MISTER
\|/ I HAVE CLASS
jgs /Y\
%
________
( ) |V|
\ / _|/
/| q .. p \ / CAN YOU IMAGINE WHAT I DO WITH
|_\ \--/ // THESE ARMS WHILE THEY'RE NOT BUSY
\\ __||___// /| WRITING DOWN ANGSTY POEMS
\\/. __/__/ _\
// \ /\_,---'
// ||
\\ / \
)\| |
/ || || |
|/\| || |
| || |
\ || /
__/ || \__
\____/\____/
%
;~
./|\. I TRIED TO SWIM TO THIS DINGHY
./ /| `\. AND ALL I GOT WAS DROWNED
/ | | `\.
| | | `\.
| \| `\.
. `----|__________\.
\-----''----.....___
jgs \ ""/
~^~^~^~^~^`~^~^`^~^~^`^~^~^
~^~^~`~~^~^`~^~^~`~~^~^~
%
,;,'.`,''.`.':.
.'.` ; ;. `'` .``.
; ;` ` ` ;` ``:
':,`:`.`:~..`.;'
:.:.|
_:..:|_
`-|___:-'
: .:|
__.=~'=___=`~=.__
`~MECCA~'
%
_________________________________________________
/ /|
/ _/_/_/_/_/ _/_/_/_/_/ _/_/_/_/ _/___/ _/_/_/_/ //
/ //|
/ _/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/__/ _/_/_/ _/_/_/_/ //||
/ __/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/ / _/_/_/ _/_/_/_/ //_|/
/_/__/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/___/ _/ _/_/_/_/ //
/ __/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/__/ _/_/_/ _/_/_/ / //
/ __/_________________/ ___/_/_/ //
/ //
(________________________________________________(/ DF
POUNDING LIKE NOBODY'S BUSINESS ON THE [ AND ] KEYS

OVER AND OVER AGAIN SO I CAN WIN THE FUCKING RACE
%
, ,
/| |\
/ | | \ IF YOU'RE A SISSY THEN
| | | | I'M A SISSY KISSER
\ | | /
\|w|/ /
/_ _\ / ,
/\ _:()_():_ /]
||_ : ._=Y=_ : / /
[)(_\, ',__\W/ _,' / \
[) \_/\ _/'='\ /-/\)
[_| \ \ /// \ '._ / /
:; \ \/// / | '` /
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/ /| /
| \ / /
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/ / \'=,
.----' / \ (\__
snd (((____/ \ \ )
'.\_)
%
.
|~
/|\
|-.-|
'-:-'
[|] FRANCOPHONES ARE JUST LIKE US
[|] EXCEPT THEY DON'T HAVE SOULS
[|]
[|]
[|]
.[|].
:/|\:
[/|\]
[/|\]
.:_#|#_:.
|_ '-' _|
/\:-.-:/\
/\|_[|]_|/\
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[''=-.[|].-='']
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//\;::-:-::;/\\
/\.'-\\/|\//-'./\
.'\/' :\|/: '\/'.
.//\(' [\|/] ')/\\.
'':][\.' .[\|/]. './][:''
'' :/\|/\: ''
.[\/|\/].
SM '.|.'
'
%
________
_jgN########Ngg_
_N##N@@"" ""9NN##Np_ I LIKE HOW QUESTLOVE SPELLS HIS NAME
d###P N####p WITH A QUESTION MARK
"^^" T####
d###P
_g###@F
_gN##@P ON SECOND THOUGHT NO I DON'T
gN###F"
d###F
0###F
0###F
0###F DH
"NN@'
___
q###r
""
%
________ HEY
/_______/\
\ \ / / WHY CAN'T WE
___\ \__/_/___
/____\ \______/\ JUST
\ \ \/ / / /
\ \ / /\ / / YOU KNOW
\ \/ /\ \/ /
\_\/ \_\/ PUT THEM IN A TRAIN AND SHIP 'EM OFF
%
$$$$$$$$$$$*T!=~``~~=?T*$$$$$$$$$$$$ I CAN'T IMAGINE WHY THE TALENTED
$$$$$$$$*T~(xnHMMMMMHn.`~T$$$$$$$$$$ ARTIST WHO RENDERED THIS OH SO
$$$$$$$T~.HMMMMMMMMMMMMMx(!T$$$$$$$$ BEAUTIFUL DRAWING DIDN'T COME TO
$$$$$$!`nMMMMMM*****MMMMMMx~?$$$$$$$ SIGN IT
$$$$$! HMMMM"(ueemeo.`"MMMMX~!$$$$$$
$$$$!~XMMMM i$"` "**:~MMMM!~T$$$$$ COULD IT BE BECAUSE THE NATIONAL
$$$$!.MMMM~!$! ....... ?MMMM:!$$$$$ FOOTBALL LEAGUE TAKES TRADEMARK
$$$M!!MMMM!~$$. `""?$$# HMMMM!~$$$$$ VIOLATIONS SERIOUSLY
$$$X~MMMMMMx`#$WeeW$*".HMMMMM!~ ~$$$
$$$X~MMMMMMMMn:.(((.xHMMMM"""` ~$$$ OI OI OI GET THE PAPERCLIP OUT
$$$!~MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM" :::.u$$$
$$$!:MMMMMMMMMMMGGMMMM" ! ~$$$$$$$$ I'D LIKE TO BEAT OFF BUT YOU'RE
$$$XeXMMMMMMMMM!$$!M" .: !~~$$$$$$$$ READING THIS SO I CAN'T GET IT
$$$!$$WMMMMMMMMXTT~ ? `~ $$$$$$$$ UP UNTIL YOU LEAVE ME ALONE
$$$$WWeeeU?MM*MMMM. ":.!X: *$$$$$$$
$$$$$$$$$$$W?XHMMMM!:.`~@$! . ""#*$$ YEAH THAT'S RIGHT I'M SMEARING
$$$$$$$$$$$$WXMMMMMHXM+. "~ $$Wou ?$ MY OWN SHIT ALL OVER YOUR LOBBY
$$$$$$$$$$$$$$WQ?MMMM?U$$o. `""*# H$
$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$WW$$$$$$H !eu.. 8$ SORRY FOR THE WIDE DISTRIBUTION
%
@@@@@@@^^~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~^^@@@@@@@@
@@@@@@^ ~^ @ @@ @ @ @ I ~^@@@@@@ LOOK !!!!!!
@@@@@ ~ ~~ ~I @@@@@
@@@@' ' _,w@< @@@@ IT'S J.R. "I'M NO BETTER THAN
@@@@ @@@@@@@@w___,w@@@@@@@@ @ @@@ A FUCKING PEDOPHILE FOR
@@@@ @@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@ I @@@ THINKING THIS STUPID SHIT IS
@@@@ @@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@*@[ i @@@ FUNNY" DOBBS !!!!!
@@@@ @@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@[][ | ]@@@
@@@@ ~_,,_ ~@@@@@@@~ ____~ @ @@@
@@@@ _~ , , `@@@~ _ _`@ ]L J@@@
@@@@ , @@w@ww+ @@@ww``,,@w@ ][ @@@@
@@@@, @@@@www@@@ @@@@@@@ww@@@@@[ @@@@
@@@@@_|| @@@@@@P' @@P@@@@@@@@@@@[|c@@@@
@@@@@@w| '@@P~ P]@@@-~, ~Y@@^'],@@@@@@
@@@@@@@[ _ _J@@Tk ]]@@@@@@
@@@@@@@@,@ @@, c,,,,,,,y ,w@@[ ,@@@@@@@
@@@@@@@@@ i @w ====--_@@@@@ @@@@@@@@
@@@@@@@@@@`,P~ _ ~^^^^Y@@@@@ @@@@@@@@@
@@@@^^=^@@^ ^' ,ww,w@@@@@ _@@@@@@@@@@
@@@_xJ~ ~ , @@@@@@@P~_@@@@@@@@@@@@
@@ @, ,@@@,_____ _,J@@@@@@@@@@@@@
@@L `' ,@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@
%
---..___
\______/ OH GOD THERE'S BLOOD EVERYWHERE !!!!1111!!
||
||
_||_ WAIT THIS BLOOD TASTES A LOT LIKE URINE
' || `
' || '
|O==()==O|
. ,
`.____ 'pjb
%
+-----------------------------------------------------------------------------+
| | |\ -~ / \ / |
|~~__ | \ | \/ /\ /|
| -- | \ | / \ / \ / |
| |~_| \ \___|/ \/ / |
|--__ | -- |\________________________________/~~\~~| / \ / \ |
| |~~--__ |~_|____|____|____|____|____|____|/ / \/|\ / \/ \/|
| | |~--_|__|____|____|____|____|____|_/ /| |/ \ / \ / |
|___|______|__|_||____|____|____|____|____|__[]/_|----| \/ \ / |
| \mmmm : | _|___|____|____|____|____|____|___| /\| / \ / \ |
| B :_--~~ |_|____|____|____|____|____|____| | |\/ \ / \ |
| __--P : | / / / | \ / \ /\|
|~~ | : | / ~~~ | \ / \ / |
| | |/ .-. | /\ \ / |
| | / | | |/ \ /\ |
| | / | | -_ \ / \ |
+-----------------------------------------------------------------------------+
| | /| | | 2 3 4 | /~~~~~\ | /| |_| .... ......... |
| | ~|~ | % | | | ~J~ | | ~|~ % |_| .... ......... |
| AMMO | HEALTH | 5 6 7 | \===/ | ARMOR |#| .... ......... |
+-----------------------------------------------------------------------------+
BM
TO DOOM 3: EARN THIS

LOVE, THE GAMING COMMUNITY
%
((((
(((( IF YOU'RE NOT CAREFUL
)))) I MIGHT PEE IN A CUP
_ .---. AND DRINK IT
( |`---'|
\| |
: .___, :
`-----' Karl
%
_
. - ' ' ' ' -.
. ' _,._ ' .
,' ;' "; ',
|' ',_ ,-' .|
| '. ' . | THE SHIT THAT WOULDN'T FLUSH
| ' , . ' |
| | ' - . _ . -| |
| '. | |
| | '. |
| '. |
| | ., |
| . , |
| | . ' |
| . ' | STARRING KURT RUSSELL
| | . ' |
!. ' ' .'
'.| ' , .
' , ' ,. '
' - . , .-
, .
, . :F_P:
, .
,'
%
|\/\/\/\/|
| |
|(#)___(#) LET ME ANSWER YOUR QUESTION ABOUT
|.-' `. GLOBAL GEOPOLITICS, THE WAR ON
|\`--=.--/ TERROR, AND PREEMPTION PHILOSOPHY
| `.___.'| BY MEANS OF THIS PUPPET SHOW
<-._ ||||
>-| ||||_| (HORRIBLE, CONFUSING, DISTURBING
)_.----'\ / PUPPET SHOW FOLLOWS)
\ `.________.-'
\
VK `.
`-.____________.-'
%
__)),
//_ _) WHAT IF THERE'S NO GOD
( "\" TO GET MAD AT ME
\_-/ FOR MASTURBATING
,---/ '---.
/ - - \
/ \_. _|__,/ \
/ )\ )\_ \
/ _/ ( ' ) / /
/ | (_____) | /
/,' / \/ /,
_/(_ ( ._, )-'
`--,/ |____|__|
| ) |
| / |
| / \ |
/ `| | _)
| | | |
| / \ |
| | \ |
| \ | \_
gnv /__( '-._`,
%
_____________________________
/ / / /
/ FREVBHFYL /__./ /
/ JUL VF ________ /
/ A4OVF FHPU ________ /
/ N SHPXVAT _____ /
/ OVGPU PHAG /
/____________________________/ a:f (n:s)
%
.-'"""`-.
( )
|`-.___.-'| THE GUY WHO BEGS YOU TO PISS ON HIM
|.-'"""`-.| WHILE IN THE BIG STALL IS NOT THIRSTY
| |
|`-.___.-'|
| |
|. ' " ` .|
| |
`-.___.-' VK
%
_ __________=__
\\@([____]_____() LET'S TEST THE "COLD DEAD HANDS" THEORY
_/\|-[____]
/ /(( ) YOU STAY HERE AND BEAT OFF AND
/____|'----'
\____/ I'LL CALL THE POLICE
%
.-'''''-.
THE BEST PART ABOUT BEING |'-----'|
FAT IS YOU GET TO EAT A LOT /`-.....-`\
| <_} |
| .-\-. |
_,._ | /# ` \ |
__.-` `"""-. | \ / |
..--' `"-. `)_,._ \ '-'-' /
(` )--.-"``` `"-.`'-----'`
'-----------' ( )
jgs `-------------`
%
______
\ \. EVERYBODY POOPS BLOOD
|`\_____\
|` | | DON'T BE A WUSS JUST REACH IN THERE
| | | AND WOLF IT DOWN LIKE A MAN
__-====-__ _| | |
(~< >~> \ | | LOOK THERE'S ONE THING I'VE LEARNED
!~~-====-~~/----`+----/ AND THAT'S ONCE YOUR FINGERPRINTS ARE
\ \___ / ON IT YOU HAVE NO CHOICE BUT TO EAT
>------\ \ < THE WHOLE THING
<_________________>
IN A WAY IT'S THE PERFECT CRIME
%
.-------.
_|~~ ~~ |_ IF I MAKE UP SOME COMPLETE LIE ABOUT
=(_|_______|_)= A REPUBLICAN CROWD BOOING AT PRESIDENT
|:::::::::| CLINTON'S HEALTH MAYBE THAT WILL MAKE
|:::::::[]| IT TRUE ?!?!?!
|o=======.|
jgs `"""""""""` WELP TRYING ANYWAY
%
_______
_,.--==###\_/=###=-.._
..-' _.--\\_//---. `-..
./' ,--'' \_/ `---. `\.
./ \ .,-' _,,......__ `-. / \.
/`. ./\' _,.--'':_:'"`:'`-..._ /\. .'\
/ .'`./ ,-':":._.:":._.:"+._.:`:. \.'`. `.
,' // .-''"`:_:'"`:_:'"`:_:'"`:_:'`. \ \
/ ,' /'":._.:":._.:":._.:":._.:":._.`. `. \
/ / ,'`:_:'"`:_:'"`:_:'"`:_:'"`:_:'"`:_\ \ \
,\\ ; /_.:":._.:":._.:":._.:":._.:":._.:":\ ://,
/ \\ /'"`:_:'"`:_:'"`:_:'"`:_:'"`:_:'"`:_:'\ // \.
|//_ \ ':._.:":._.+":._.:":._.:":._.:":._.:":._\ / _\\ \
/___../ /_:'"`:_:'"`:_:'"`:_:'"`:_:'"`:_:'"`:_:'"'. \..__ |
| | '":._.:":._.:":._.:":._.:":._.:":._.:":._.| | |
| | |-:'"`:_:'"`:_:'"`:_:'"`:_:'"`:_:'"`:_:'"`| | |
| | |":._.:":._.:":._.:":._.:":._.+":._.:":._.| | |
| : |_:'"`:_:'"`:_+'"`:_:'"`:_:'"`:_:'"`:_:'"`| ; |
| \ \.:._.:":._.:":._.:":._.:":._.:":._.:":._| / |
\ : \:'"`:_:'"`:_:'"`:_:'"`:_:'"`:_:'"`:_:'.' ; |
\ : \._.:":._.:":._.:":._.:":._.:":._.:":,' ; /
`. \ \..--:'"`:_:'"`:_:'"`:_:'"`:_:'"`-../ / /
`__.`.'' _..+'._.:":._.:":._.:":._.:":.`+._ `-,:__`
.-'' _ -' .'| _________________________ |`.`-. `-.._
_____' _..-|| :.' .+/;;';`;`;;:`)+(':;;';',`\;\|. `,'|`-. `_____
MJP .-' .'.' :- ,'/,',','/ /./|\.\ \`,`,-,`.`. : `||-.`-._
.' ||.-' ,','/,' / / / + : + \ \ \ `,\ \ `.`-|| `. `-.
.-' |' _','<', ,' / / // | \\ \ \ `, ,`.`. `. `. `-.
: - `. `.
OKAY SO I FLOPPED SPLIT TOP TWO PAIR WITH A STRAIGHT DRAW

MEANWHILE THERE WAS A POSSIBLE FLUSH SHOWING ON THE TURN
SO WORRIED ABOUT A CHECK-RAISE I BET FOR INFORMATION
ONLY TO FIND THAT ONE OPPONENT HAD FLOPPED SPLIT TOP AN
BOTTOM PAIR AND THE OTHER SIMPLY DIDN'T KNOW WHAT HE
WAS DOING AND THAT LADIES AND GENTLEMEN IS HOW THE
SIT-AND-GO ONE-TABLE TOURNAMENT WAS WON
OH FUCK WAIT THIS IS STARGATE
OKAY HOW ABOUT SOME COMMENT ABOUT HOW CONSTELLATIONS ARE NOT
A VALID WAY TO DESIGNATE A REAL POINT IN FOUR DIMENSIONAL
SPACETIME OR AT LEAST SOMETHING ABOUT HOW MUCH OF A HUNK
JAMES SPADER WAS
%
_ _______
(_`-'_ `"`-. DOWNLOADING PORN AT THE SAME TIME AS PLAYING AN
((`._`"--.::;)) ONLINE FIRST PERSON SHOOTER !!!
\`"-=-----"'/
`-._____,-'mt-2 THIS IS THE TRUE MEANING OF OPULENCE
%
_.-'~~`~~'-._
.'` O K I `'.
/ H N \
/` .-'~"-. `\
; C / `- \ G ;
; /> `. -.| ;
| /_ '-.__) EAT IT|
| |- _.' \ | RAW |
; `~~; \\ MISSY ;
; INFAGSWE / \\) ;
\ TRUST '.___.-'`" /
`\ /`
'._ 1 9 9 7 _.'
`'-..,,,..-'`
%
NAPALM STICKS TO LITTLE GIRLS
|
| |
| -/_\-
-/_\- ______________(/ . \)______________
____________(/ . \)_____________ \___/ ()
() \___/ () ()
%
\'-. _.-"/ \"-._ .-'/
(\ : : / / \ \ : : /)
\'-. i | / / \ \ | i .-'/
'. \ \i /_.-" "-._\ i/ / .'
'-'-.; /" "\ ;.-'-'
\/ \/
('""') ('""')
\ / \ /
)( )(
i__i i__i
fsc i____i i____i
WHAT'S MORE DISGUSTING THAN A FUCKING FAGGOT ?!?!?!?
A FUCKING FAGGOT WHO CAN'T FACE THE FACT THAT HE'S A FUCKING
FAGGOT
GOD ISN'T FOOLED

%
NOW IS THE TIME FOR ALL GOOD FAGS
(\ TO REALLY BITE DOWN ON THAT DICK
\_O
_____\/)_____
~~~~~~~~~~~~`----\----'~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
dt/ejm ~~~~ ~~~~ \ ~~~~~~ ~~~ ~~~~~~
%
.------. .------.
.' //`. .' `. DOES GOOGLEWHACKING
/ // \ / \ MEAN WHAT I THINK IT MEANS
| // : | ......:::::
: // | :::::'''''' |
\ // / \ /
`._// _.' `._ _.' AsH
`"----"' `"----"'
%
.--._ || .----. ||
/ `. || .' \ ||
| | || )o> ) | ||
/ (
o/ || /_. / ||
.' \ _\ || \-' | ||
.' `._' || `. \ ||
.' -. || .' '. ||
/ | | || / / | | ||
/ .' / .''. . | | |.''.
| | | | .-==:==:======:============| | | |:==:=
| | | .--.-. /_/ '..' _|_ | / ) |'..'
| | `.' | | || /.-.\ | / .' | ||
| \ `. / |`-._ || \ / |.' / | ||
| `-._ `-.|._ `-. || |-|`. .-' .' | ||
| /`-. `::.____`...____(.-') `..---' _.-' \ ||
| | `-.._.--._''''----`| | '-._-.'. (_________.|||
| | | | || | |`. _.' .' .'----------|||
| | / \ | || \ / -_.-` .' .' |||
| | | | | || | .' .' / ||
\ | './ '._ .--.______'_____ : .' _......_ ||..
`.__.( `-._--`.-_(_________________ : -' `-' `.
`'-''---` /_/ LGB `:.______...------- `..>
THIS IS THE GAYEST FUCKING DRAWING I HAVE EVER SEEN

%
.--.--.--.--.
/ / / / |\ IF THERE'S NOTHING TO PROTEST
/ / / / / \ THEN I'LL MAKE SOMETHING UP BY GOD
| |> /
| | /
| / THIS ISN'T ABOUT CHANGING THE WORLD
| / THIS IS ABOUT HAVING SOMETHING TO DO
| __ .'
/ .'
/ /
/ /
/ '
/ /
/ /
/ /
' /
/
%
I'M A BORN AGAIN FATASS
/
/
_[TT]_j__,( j"n,. __i_[TT]_

(_)oooo(_)' ,m^.Y.v )"(_)oooo(_) KB
%
__.------.
(__ ___ )
.)e )\ / THIEF III:
/_.------ MORE BORING WAITING
_/_ _/
__.' / ' `-.__
/ <.--' `\
/ \ \c |
/ / ) GoT x \
| /\ |c / \.- \
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/ _/ _\- `-. \/_|_ /<>
/ /--/,-\ _ \ <>.`.
\/`--\_._) - / `-/\ `.\
/ `. / ) `\
\ \ \___/----'
| / `(
___________ \ ./\_ _ \
______________ / | ) '|
__________________ | / \ \ ___________a:f
/ | |____.)
/ \ a88a\___/88888a.
\_ :)8888888888888888888a.
/` `-----' `Y88888888888888888
\____| `88888888888P'
%
_-o#&&*''''?d:>b\_
_o/"`'' '',, dMF9MMMMMHo_ I CAN STALK MY EX-GIRLFRIEND
.o&#' `"MbHMMMMMMMMMMMHo. WITH THIS GPS DEVICE
.o"" ' vodM*$&&HMMMMMMMMMM?.
:9MMk `MMM#" -
&M} ` .-
`&. .
`~, . ./ OR AS I CALL IT
. _ .- ELECTRONIC JUSTICE
'`--._,dd###pp=""'
%
I WANT YOU TO TRIP LIKE I DO
\
/@\
`-\ \ /\/\/\
\ \/ ` / \ \|/
\_i / \ |\____//
| |==| |=----/
-----------hn/--hn/--------
%
_________ .
_____ _______________________,-" ________\_________________.'|
| ,`'-------------------------," | | | |
_,--.`--"-----------.--------------"" | | | |
|#|==| | | `-._____________ | | | |
|#|==| | | _ _ _ _ _ `. | | | |
|#|==| __| | '-.: ;|\| V \_|_______,'`.|
|#|==| |--| _ _ | ##== O `" " ' ' ' \ | `
|#|==| |[]|:_;: : | \ |
|#|==| |--|:_;:_;X|---------_________________________| |
|#|==| |__| ......|________|/ DigitalHandycam | |
|#|==| | | ' | |
|#|==| | | | .----------------. | |
|#|==| | | .----| | ,,,,,,,,,,,. | | |
`--'--------.""""""| | | | ############ | | |
_;-----"-----'| | | |________________| | |
::: ,. | |____| Digital8 ......... | |
::: || ` \\ | |
::: || \________\\_______________________;____;
`:: "' == ;
`.____________________________________________; BR
THE REWIND BUTTON IS BROKEN

%
__
(\\\ IIIIII
) (` | C O WHICH TASTES BETTER: MY ASS OR MY DICK
/ \ | D
| _) | x=| __
( `-. `-] [-' .-` `-_...__/\\\
\ \ `--` `--` `-` _.n)
\ `-` <`-..--`--..-`
`-.( )( )-`
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)\ () /(
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|-. .-|
| \ / |
| `><` |
( || )
\. _/\_ ./
( () )
| )( |
\ / \ /
\ | | /
/` ) ( `\
()Oo/ \oO() NDT
%
.;;+RBBRt++;;;;:
;tVRRRRRVVVXIIIYYYYVRRYt:
;XBRRRVVVXYYIIttttttttttttIVR+
+BBRRRRVVVYYIttttiiiiiiitiiitttYR=
;BBBRRRRVVXYIIttiii++======i+++iittVR:
XBBBRRRRVVXYIttti++==;;;;;;;;i==++iitIR;
:BBBBBRRRVXXYIttii+=;;;;;;;;;;;;=;;=+iittRt IT'S ROUND
:BBBBBRRRRXXXIttii+=;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;=+iittB: (LIKE AN O)
.BBBBBBRRRVXYYItti+=;;;;;;:::::::;;;;;;=+ittRi
BBBBBBBRRRVXYXttii=;;;;;;::.....::;=;;;;=+itYV SO VERY ROUND
;BBBBBBRRRRXXYYtti+=;;;;;::... ...::;;;;;=+ittR
YBBBBBBRRRVXYYYtti+=;;;;::.. ..::;;;;==ittR I SHOULD
BBBBBBBRRRVXYYYtti+=;;;;::.. ..::;;;;==ittB
BBBBBBBRRRRXXYIIti+=;;;;;::.. ..::;;;;;=+ittB I SHOULD TRY AND
RMBBBBBBRRRVXYIIti+=;;;;;;::.....::;;;;;;=+ittB FUCK THAT THING
XMBBBBBBRRRVXYYYtti+=;;;;;;:::::::;;;;;;==iitIR;
.BBBBBBBRRRRXXYXItii+=;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;i;==iittIR; HOLD STILL MISTER
YBBBBBBBRRRVXYYYttii+=;;;;;;;;;;;;;;i=+iittIYBi.
XMBBBBBBRRRRVXYXIttii+==;;;;;;;;;;;=++iitYRRBBBBRI;
BMBBBBBBBRRRRVXXYItttii++====+iittIYRVRRRRXXVRBBBBBBI;
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.' .-' `..' | / .^. |
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.'.'| . \ | |_||_||__|
// \ | _.-'| |_ `. \
|| | | /\ \_| _ _ |
|| | /. . ' `.`.| || ||
|| / ' ' | . | `.`---'/
.' `. | .' .'`. \ .' / `...'
.' \ \ .'.' `---\ '.-' |
)/\ / /)/ .| \ `. `.\ \
)/ \( / \ | \ | `. `-. THE LIBERAL
)/ ) | | __ \ \.-` \ INTELLIGENTSIA
| /| ) .-. //' `-| \ _ / IS CLAMPED ON
/ _| | `-'.-.\ || `. )_.--' THE END OF MY
) \ '-. / '| ''.__.-`\ | DICK AGAIN (WON'T
/ `-\ '._|--' \ `. LET GO)
\ _\ / `---.
LGB /.--` \ \ .''''\
`._..._| `-.' .-. |
'_.'-./.'
%
/|
/ \ , WHEN THE WORLD ENDS I'M WATCHING
/ |\ `--'| NOTHING BUT RERUNS OF JUDGING AMY
,----^ | `---/
/ \
| C) C) |
| .___, |
\. \_/ /
`-----' m1a
%
+ /
\ | / DON'T GET EXCITED LITTLE MISS
\ | /
\ / \ / THOSE AREN'T SEAGULLS
\/_____\ /
/|__|__| \ THOSE THERE ARE FLAPPITY VAMPYRE
/ |;| |;| \ BATS OF THE WAY GAY VARIETY
/ \\. . / \
/ ||: . | \ THEY'RE ALL LIKE FLAP FLAP ANYWAY
||: | \ THEY HAVE THE AIDS AVOID THEM
||:. | \
||: .| HOLY CRAP LOOK OUT FOR THAT REEF
||: , | /`\
||: | /`\
||: _ . | /`\
_||_| |__| ____
____~ |_| |___ __-----~ ~`---,__ ___
-~ ~---___,--~' ~~----_____-~'
`~----,____
%
(( )
( () IF YOU RUB YOUR BALLS AND THEN SMELL YOUR HANDS
()) IT'S ALMOST LIKE SMELLING YOUR BALLS
\_ ~_/
_(_)(_)_
==|.------.|===
|| o||
|`------'|cjr
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._________________.
|.---------------.| CAPITALISM SUCKS !!!!!! HOLD ON WHILE I
|| || TYPE THIS BLOG ENTRY INTO MY HIPTOP AS
|| -._ .-. || I'M ATTENDING A PEACE RALLY ON TUESDAY
|| -._| | | || AFTERNOON BECAUSE CAPITALISM MADE ME
|| -._|"|"| || AND ALL MY FRIENDS SO RICH I NOT ONLY
|| -._|.-.| || DON'T NEED TO WORK MY FINGERS TO THE BONE
||_______________|| EVERY DAY BUT CAN EVEN TAKE WHOLE DAYS
/.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.\ OFF AND STILL EAT !!!!!!!!!!
/.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.\
/.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.\ STILL IT SUCKS THOUGH !!!!!!!!
/______/__________\___o_\ DrS
\_______________________/
%
.-.
(/^\) THAT'S AMORE
(\ /)
.-'-. (ANNA AMORE)
/(_I_)\
\\) (//
/ \
\ | /
\|/
/|\
\|/
jgs /Y\
%
_
(_)
| .
. |L /| . _
_ . |\ _| \--+._/| . (_)
/ ||\| Y J ) / |/| ./
J |)'( | ` F`.'/ _
-<| F __ .-< (_)
| / .-'. `. /-. L___
J \ < \ | | O\|.-' _
_J \ .- \/ O | | \ |F (_)
'-F -<_. \ .-' `-' L__
__J _ _. >-' )._. |-'
`-|.' /_. \_| F
/.- . _.<
/' /.' .' `\
/L /' |/ _.-'-\
/'J ___.---'\| I'VE ALWAYS ADMIRED THE CRITIC FOR ITS
|\ .--' V | `. ` BRAVERY IN TAKING ON SUCH TABOO COMEDIC TOPICS
|/`. `-. `._) SUCH AS RUSH LIMBAUGH BEING FAT, BARNEY THE
/ .-.\ DINOSAUR BEING INSIPID, FORMER PRESIDENT CLINTON
VK \ ( `\ ALSO HAVING A WEIGHT PROBLEM, CRITICS BEING USELESS,
`.\ ETC.
BASICALLY IT WAS AN AWESOME SHOW

%
|
|
| OXYCONTIN PLEASE
|
| BIG FAT TIP IN IT FOR YOU
|
| JACK ME OFF SLOWLY
_ ----- _
.-~ ~-.
/ \
.-- -- -- | | -- -- --.
.-~ / ~~ ~~ ~~ \ O O / ~~ ~~ ~~ \ ~-.
.-~ / _ - ~ ~-. .-~ ~ - _ \ ~-.
/ /~ / ~ ----- ~ \ ~\ \
/ / / \ \ \
/ / \ \
/ / \ \
/ | | \
| |
| |
| |
| |
%
_____
.' `. CHECK ME OUT IN MY BOY SCOUT UNIFORM
/ .-=-. \ \ __ WITH BONG; SOON THE POLICE WILL COME;
| ( C\ \ \_.'') IN THE MEANTIME I WILL CONTINUE TO
_\ `--' |,' _/ PLAY ON THE SWINGSET, THE SLIDE, EXPOSING
/__`.____.'__.-' MYSELF TO OTHERS IN THE PARK
%
.eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee-
d
$ ...... F
$ SYSTEM ERROR $ F
$ #41 OR MAYBE $ F
$ #43 NOT SURE $ F
$ ANYWAY I JUST $ F
. $ CRASHED SO $ F
= $ GET OUT THE $ F
\ $ PAPERCLIP $ F
-==. "=. $ """"""""""" F
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* " F
". ====== F
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= -==*==*===% ^4
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"-
=""=
" = ^\
/
%
,-----.
,-',-----.`-.
/ ,' \/ \/ `. \ IF JASON ALEXANDER ISN'T THE FUNNIEST MAN
/ /_\ /_\ \ ALIVE I'LL CHOKE MYSELF TO DEATH ON THIS
; ; : : HERE BIG COCK
| |> <| |
: : ; ;
\ \"/ \"/ / WAIT THAT'S NOT A COCK THAT'S A (LONG PAUSE)
\ `. /\ /\ ,' / I DON'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
/`-.'-----',-'\
/ |`-----'| \ BUT MAN JASON ALEXANDER ROCKS
/ ,-. \ / ,-. \
( ( ) ) ( ( ) )
\ `-' / \ `-' /
`---' `---'
%
) ( |
) ( / .-
_ ,---. _ ( / /
(~-| . . |-~) V /
\._ 0 _,/ /
/ `-^-'`-._ /
' `-. (
: )E
: ,---' ( THE BEST PART OF DA ALI G SHOW IS WHEN
. )E ( I SEVER MY OWN FRONTAL LOBES IN A VAIN
gpyy '._____,---' ( BUT GUTSY ATTEMPT TO STOP THE PAIN
) (
) (
) (
) (
%
_,.......____
_.-' / `-._`-.
,' / / `. `. MAYBE IF LEO DIDN'T POP SO MANY PILLS
,' ___ / _ / __`. `. THEN BARTLET WOULDN'T BE SUCH A PUSSY
/ / \ / (_) / / / \ \
: / /) / / __ / / / L L WHAT
| / __,' / / / / / / | |
| / / / / / / / /___ | | YES I'LL HOLD
: /_/ / /_/ / /_____/ F F
\ / / / /
`. / / ,' ,'
`./ / _,'_,'
cjr `-.__/______,.;:.-'
%
______ ATTENTION
\ \.
|`\_____\ WHO KEEPS STUFFING MY IMAC AND
|` | | IPOD AND TURNTABLE AND RAVE CLOTHES
__-====-__ | | | AND OLD-TIMEY LPS INTO THE TOILET ?!
(~< >~>_| | |
{~~-====--~~: \ | | AND WHY ?????????????
!~~------~~/----`+----/
\ \___ / I'M GOING TO JUST GET RIGHT IN THERE
>------\ \ < AND SCRUB WITHOUT USING GLOVES OR
<_________________> EVEN TAKING OFF MY TURTLENECK
%
A MUSHROOM CLOUD HAS NO SILVER LINING !!!!!!!!!!!
____
____ , -- - --- -.
((( (( /// // ' \\-\ \ )) ))
/// /// (( _ _ -- \\-- \\\ \)
((( == (( -- (( )) )- ) __ )) )))
(( (( -= (( --- ( _ ) --- )) ))
(( __ (( ()((( \\ / /// )) __ )))
\\_ (( __ | | __ ) _ ))
,| | |
`-._____,-'
`--.___,--'
| |
| ||
| || |
, _, | | |
( (( (((( /,| __| | )))) ))) ) ))
(())) __/ ||( ,, ((//\ ) ))))
---((( ///_.___ _/ ||,,_____,_,,, (|\ \___.....__.. ))--ool
____/ |/______________| \/_/\__
/ \/_/|
/ |___|___|__ || ___
\ |___|___|_ |/\ /__/|
/ | | \/ |__|/
WELL EXCEPT FOR THE BAD GUYS IT WOULD KILL

AND THE FEAR IT WOULD GENERATE IN OTHER BAD GUYS
OTHER THAN THAT NO SILVER LINING NO

%
__________
/ /|
/__________/ |
|________ | |
/_____ /|| | IT'S CODE 0508 YOU MORONS
|".___."| || |
|_______|/ | |
|| .___."|| /
||_______|| /
|_________|/
%
____
.-" +' "-.
/.'.'A_'*`.\ SERIOUSLY SHRINK ME SMALL SO
|:.*'/\-\. ':| I CAN VISIT THE LITTLE CHURCH
|:.'.||"|.'*:| AND LICK THE DICKS OF ALL THE
\:~^~^~^~^:/ VICARS INSIDE (PLEASE DO NOT
/`-....-'\ SHAKE AS I DID NOT PACK
jgs / \ CHAINS)
`-.,____,.-'
%
LOOK I'M FOR FREEDOM OF SPEECH
o o AS MUCH AS THE NEXT GUY
: : ,====.
` ; q X X p BUT I REALLY THOUGHT TITLING
` : | (_ | THAT SERIES "PARKER LEWIS
: ; | \_/|___ HATES JEWS" STEPPED OVER
` , _`----'_--| THE LINE
|| / \||
___/__\_____________ | | | |||
|\ ________________ /| | | | |||
| | \:::::::::::/ | | / / / //|
| | |\:::::::::/| | | `- `-/||
| | || || | | | | |/ ||
_| | ||| | | ||| | |__|__| || ||
/ | | \|_________|/ | | /| || |
/ \ |::: o o o L | / /||__||
/ `--------------/---' /||'_ '
-------------------/-------/ ||__/
| || ( || ||
| || ) || ||
| / ||
|----------------' ||
| Gr ||
%
__ __
,-' `' \ _---``--
/ _ _ ; __ `. THIS LOVELY PORTRAIT
/ / `' \; /`----- ) STIMULATES MY PUNCH REFLEX
/ .-/ ,( ), \-. ;
| \( \ / )/;
| - _5 `7 -;
/ ( ___-' `-____ |
( ___`-_ \ ____|
\ / `,/ \ _(\__ / \
\ ; \ .' /' ì. / |
| \ _-'( _\__-/ `- |
| ` ,` `_ | BP
%
THIS IS THE GAYEST ASTRONOMY PICTURE OF THE DAY YET
ALL RIGHT SECOND GAYEST
GRRRR ||
,, _, ___....-----++
'.. Grrr .--o \---. ||
<||\o------ \__^.. ""\ / |--' ||
___||_________)) ))"_________'""'((--(('________||_____
! GRRRR ||
,, _, ___....-----++
'.. ! .--o \---. ||
<||. .-'\__^'' ""\ / |--' ||
___||_______o.-'___))_))"____'""'((--(('________||_____
? GRRRR ||
,, _, ___....-----++
'.. .--o \---. ||
<||. ^--^__/ ""\ / |--' ||
___||_ o"((_(( ______________'""'((--(('________||_____
GRRRR ||
,, _, ___....-----++
'-- Grrr .--o \---. ||
<||\o------ \__^,, ""\ / |--' ||
___||_________)) ))"_________'""'((--(('________||___-hrr-
%
CRACK BABIES: TWICE THE BABY IN HALF THE TIME
AND LET'S NOT FORGET YOU GET EXTRA WELFARE MONEY
ALL THINGS CONSIDERED YOU'D BE A FOOL

NOT TO SMOKE ROCKS DURING PREGNANCY
.-"-._
_/ __ `. .-n46iS_
.' ) / `. \./ `-.__.-._.-. ___
O / \ O / | .-. /.-._\_ // \\
`.' '-' /'\ / \ /((,\ `-. //\_//
|__.--._ (_/`\/ \ / \\.\ \_____/ /
/ __`._( ) \ / |).\ .----. (
`--'----' \ /\ ,-. `-< //*.,\ / \ :.
\/ \./ \ \ /'/+'.+,) / \ (_))
| _. \__ Y.'+.+.`/ / \_./
`-' \/ `||\..: ( /
/) || \___)/
__.'/ .--. / `.
.-'__,' `. \ / \___.-.
/ .' \ Y ( .-._)
' / ) \ /)/
| | / O ) / `
%
.
._`-\ )\,`-.-. HEY ASSHOLE
\'\` \)\ \)\ \|.)
\`) |\) )\ .)\ )\| TURN THAT OUT LIGHT
\ \)\ |)\ ` \ .')/|
``-.\ \ )\ ` . ., '( CAN'T A HEDGEHOG
\\ -. `)\``- ._ .)` |\(,_
`__ '\ `-- _\`. ` (/ GET HIGH WITHOUT
`\,\ .\\ /
'` ) (`-.\\ ` OH NEVERMIND THAT'S
a:f /||\ `. * _*|
`-.( `\ THE SUN IS IT MORNING
`. \
`(c SHIT OH SHIT GOTTA GO
%
I HOPE I DON'T GET TYPECAST
AFTER "JOEY" GETS CANCELLED
.--------------------------------...
,'-------------------------------,' |
/ / |
/________________________________/ ,'|
| .. | ,' |
|___________-==/88\==-___________|,' /) |.
| \ \ (( )) / / | (/ |-. .
| \ \ \{}/ / / | .' . .
. '| \ \ )( / _ / | , . .
. . |\ \ \ \/ _.( ~-. /|\ ,' . . .
` . -`_-.--.______..._____( ,/ ` \~-.|,' . .
. ` . . . ,'\. ~- . , . . . .
. ` . , . , ~~-.' . . .
%
_ _
(((_ ~\
@-@-\ ) ONE DAY I WILL BE USEFUL
_____________ (^ ) ) TO SOCIETY
//////` | ~-( )
_|____ ` | '((,,,))
|:::::||` | ,' `\
|_____||` | (0 ( 0 , \
|_____|_______/ `-'`-' /| : ONE FINE DAY
___/____|___\___ \ / | |
| _ <<<:|---------- /'.'---.
|_________)___o_o| __ /'/' \
/ (________/----(__//) \
(________________________________________)
)_(| / /\ \----` |)_(
| || / .'||\ | || || |
| |) / ( || \( || (| |
| | / /' () \`. () | |
|_| `w' \ \ |_|
(_) \3 (_)
%
,o.
888.
Y88b YAHOO! STORY! OR! NOT!
]88b
]88b I! STILL! HATE! IT! WHEN! YOU!
]88b UNTALENTED! FUCKERS! DO! THIS!
]88b
]88b GET! SOME! REAL! JOURNALISTIC! INTEGRITY!
`888 YOU! USELESS! TOOLS!
888
888
888
]88P
]88b
]888
`"'
_
,888o
]888P
tQn YPP
%
(()))
/|x x|
/\( - )
___.-._/\/
/=`_'-'-'/ !!
|-{-_-_-} ! IS IT NECROPHILIA IF
(-{-_-_-} ! THEY'RE UNDEAD
\{_-_-_} !
}-_-_-}
{-_|-_}
{-_|_-}
{_-|-_}
{_-|-_} ZOT
____%%@ @%%_______
%
__ __
__ [_|]'_|] __
[_|].-'-_-_'-._] I'M A TRANSHUMANIST MASCULINIST
_.'.'-.-'' '-.-'__
[_|]-.'. ' ' .'.-_]
_/ /_/ '.'. ' ' . .' -_
[_|]_' '.'_'_. .' '._]
|_|_| = = (.-_o) = = :-_'
[_|] _ .//\/_\. .-_]
\_\_\ .'//_//_\\'. .-. SO WHEN THE VINGE SINGULARITY COMES
[_|]_`./.-/.-.-.\_'-_] I'M BEATING OFF EXTRA HARD
'.'.-'-//__.\.\\.'
[_|]-/.-_ .-[_\\
// // [_|] \.\\
_____//_//_________\.\\_____ mic
%
___________________________________
| _____ |
| \ o / |
| ~~~ |
| Dux |
| |
| |
| |
| |
-----------------------------------
| __------__ |
/ ./ ,....., \. \
/ ./ . _ . \. \ I HAVE GIVEN BIRTH TO A DICK
/ / /o)_// \ \
( ( ~ "(__) _ ) )
\ \. ~_~~~~~ ./ / ........ I MEAN DUCK
\ \.________./ /
\ /
\.========./
I I
I I
/] [\ -cfbd-
// \\
-------\\_____________//-------
%
HEY I HAD A FUNNY DREAM LAST NIGHT
IS IT COOL IF I TELL YOU ABOUT IT
OKAY I'LL JUST GIVE YOU THE GIST
HEY MISTER YOU DON'T NEED THAT
IN MY MOUTH AND BANG BANG MY DNA EVERYWHERE
+-'~`---------------------------------/\--
||"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""" \\\\\\ \/~)
|| \\\\\\ \/_
|~~~~~~~~-________________-_________________\ ~--_
!---------|_________ ------~~~~~(-- )--~~
\ /~~~~\~~\ )--- \_ /(
|| | | \ () \\
\\____/_ / ()\ \\
`~~~~~~~~~-. \ \\
\ \ <($)> \\
\ \ \\
\ \ \\
\ \ \\
\ \ () \|
_\_\__====~~~
%
. .
` > < . > < '
' ' I HEREBY SOLEMNLY
. . SWEAR TO CONTINUE
> < , > < TO MAKE ASCII ART
. ' ' . . FARTS UNTIL AT
__.--._ > < LEAST 2009
. .' L `.--._ '
> < `/ c '` \ `. (2007 IF KERRY IS
' : ; `. ` , ELECTED)
| ; \
/`. | ' / \ .
' / -.\ \ ^ ;/ _ \ > <
: \`.:/ \| `.| ; '
| :'' ' ; |
| |`. _/_ ;
[bug] : : `-._____/ `. /
\ | :/ , V\
/"\ __.--; _ : `./ / ; ;
: |\_/ | \L _..--. `.L.' |`. __
| | ;`. ; _ \\' `. /`+'.'`.
| | | | \CT_; `-. ' / / |
|-_| | .-'`.___. `-. / / ;
: ; :.-' `-./ /. /
\/_/ _ \/ `./
" `._.'
%
, ,
\y ,--.y/
/,---. )\ THAT QUEENY LOVE SURE LIKES JIZZ
/ (((\\)\ \
\ \\-_/ / / BUT IT TURNS OUT THAT WHEN SHE FINALLY
\ i i / PULLS THE DICK OUT OF HER MOUTH SHE
(_)=(_) TALKS GERMAN !!!!!
) . (
/\---/\ MAN WHAT A TURN-OFF
/ )-( \
/ / \ \
/ ," ". \
/ / \ \
hjw /-) (-\
/ ^! !^ \
%
_-o#&&*''''?d:>b\_
_o/"`'' '',, dMF9MMMMMHo_
.o&#' `"MbHMMMMMMMMMMMHo.
.o"" ' vodM*$&&HMMMMMMMMMM?. FOR THE WORLD IS HOLLOW
:9MMk `MMM#" -
&M} ` .-
`&. .
`~, . ./ AND I MUST BEAT OFF
. _ .-
'`--._,dd###pp=""'
%
O
o
.
|| CHECK IT OUT I DREW A BONG
||.
|/ FUN FACT: I NEVER FINISHED HIGH SCHOOL
||
--
tQn
%
[6~
tQn
%
__________
________| |________
| / |||||| \ |
| ,' `. |
| ,' `. |
| ,' |||||||||||||||| `. |
,' /____________________\ `.
/______________________________\
| |
| |
| |
|________________________________|
|____________________------__| Seal
,----------------------------------------------------,
| [][][][][] [][][][][] [][][][] [][__] [][][][] |
| |
| [][][][][][][][][][][][][][_] [][][] [][][][] |
| [_][][][][][][][][][][][][][ | [][][] [][][][] |
| [][_][][][][][][][][][][][][]|| [] [][][][] |
| [__][][][][][][][][][][][][__] [][][] [][][]|| |
| [__][________________][__] [__][]|| |
`----------------------------------------------------'
LET'S WRITE BILL BIXBY HAIKUS BECAUSE WE'RE ON USENET AND SO

WE REALLY CAN'T THINK OF ANYTHING BETTER TO DO WITH OUR TIME
I MEAN PLONK
%
//\ STEP 1: GET DRUNK
\
\\ .__=. \ STEP 2: DRIVE AROUND
\____ ,' -(@)\-\<) REALLY, REALLY FAST
\__ \ (_______/_:\
>==.\ \___,' /# #\ | : \____ STEP 3: IF YOU MADE IT
,\\\___/|_|##(O)##| `./\---. HERE CONGRATULATIONS
/ ,`--' ,======'//, //.\ . \
( ______)_//<_> O//// ( (@O ) ) I COULD GO ON BUT I HAVE
(________/ ====='o' \ `-' / JUST ABOUT TWO MORE LINES
`----' `---' LEFT SO, UH, SEE STEP 1
%
/\ /\ /\ /\
/ \/ \/ \/ \ SOMETIMES I SPELL CUNT WITH
/ /\ /\ /\ /\ \ A "K" LIKE THIS: KUNT
\/ \/ \/ \/ \/
%
('.'''.
()/ ..) EPISODE 37: ELECTROMAGNETIC INDUCTION
o'.__.>
_ || _ |\
(_|\/|_)\ /
//| |\\//
(( |()\ \/
\\| \
_/_| () \
| \
\_._._.'
\\//
mrf ))\
// \\
(x\_/x)
(_(___)
%
,__ _,
\~\| ~~---___ , | \
| / | ~~~~~~~|~~~~~| ~~---, _/, >
/~-_--__| | | \ / ~\~~/ /~| ||,'
| / \ |------| { / /~) __- ',|_\,
/ | |~~~~~~~~| \ \ | | '~\ |_____,|~,-'
|~~--__ | | |____ |~~~~~|--| |__ /_-' {,~
| | ~~~|~~| | ~~\ / `-' |`~ |~_____{/
| | | '---------, \----| | | ,' ~/~\,|`
', \ | | |~~~~~~~| \ | ,'~~\ / |
| \ | | | | \_-~ /`~___--\
', \ ,-----|-------+-------'_____/__----~~/ /
'_ '\| | |~~~| | | _/-,~~-,/
\ | | | |_ | /~~|~~\ \,/
~~~-' | | `~~~\___| | | /
'-,_ | _____| | / | ,-'---~\
`~'~ \ | `--,~~~~-~~, \
\/~\ /~~~`---` | \
\ / \ |
\ | '\'
`~' JB
BUSH IS TRYING TO TAKE YOUR LIBERTIES AWAY !!!!!!
THIS IS VERY IMPORTANT READ THIS ALL THE WAY THROUGH !!!!!!!
IF HE LOSES THE 2004 ELECTION HE WILL DECLARE MARTIAL LAW BEFORE

PRESIDENT ELECT KERRY TAKES OFFICE AND THEN HE WILL SUBJECT US
ALL TO HELL ON EARTH JUST LIKE IT WAS NAZI GERMANY ALL
OVER AGAIN !!!!!!!!!
THERE IS NOTHING WE CAN DO ABOUT THIS !!!!!!! SO I GUESS WHAT I'M

SAYING IS VOTE FOR BUSH AND WE'LL BE IN THE FOURTH REICH BUT HE
WILL BE SLIGHTLY LESS MAD !!!!!!
%
_________ .
_____ _______________________,-" ________\_________________.'|
| ,`'-------------------------," | | | |
_,--.`--"-----------.--------------"" | | | |
|#|==| | | `-._____________ | | | |
|#|==| | | _ _ _ _ _ `. | | | |
|#|==| __| | '-.: ;|\| V \_|_______,'`.|
|#|==| |--| _ _ | ##== O `" " ' ' ' \ | `
|#|==| |[]|:_;: : | \ |
|#|==| |--|:_;:_;X|---------_________________________| |
|#|==| |__| ......|________|/ DigitalHandycam | |
|#|==| | | ' | |
|#|==| | | | .----------------. | |
|#|==| | | .----| | ,,,,,,,,,,,. | | |
`--'--------.""""""| | | | ############ | | |
_;-----"-----'| | | |________________| | |
::: ,. | |____| Digital8 ......... | |
::: || ` \\ | |
::: || \________\\_______________________;____;
`:: "' == ;
`.____________________________________________; Bob_R
DEAR PRODUCERS OF BIG NATURALS, CUMFIESTA, AND ALL THAT OTHER SHIT:
PLEASE CEASE AND DESIST YOUR RUNNING COMMENTARY ABOUT THE GUY YOU
KNOW POUNDING THE STUPID WHORE YOU PAID
WE'RE ALL AWARE OF WHAT'S GOING ON WE HAVE EYES AND RIGHT HANDS
YOU THINK YOU'RE REALLY CLEVER BUT WHY HAVE YOU NOT REALIZED THAT
YOU ARE LIKE KRYPTONITE TO A BONER
%
__
/ \--..____
\ \ \-----,,,.. I FEEL STRONGLY ABOUT THIS YEAR'S
\ \ \ \--,,.. ELECTION AND I THINK THIS YEAR
\ \ \ \ ,' I'LL VOTE !!!!
\ \ \ \ ``..
\ \ \ \-'' DO I HAVE TO BE REGISTERED OR
\ \ \__,,--''' SOMETHING ????????
\ \ \.
\ \ ,/
\ \__..-
\ \
\ \
\ \ :F_P:
\ \
\ \
\ \
\ \
\ \ WHAT DO YOU MEAN I'M TOO LATE
\ \
%
__..--''\ I'M GOING TO PROTEST THE FACT
__..--'' \ THAT DEMOCRACY WORKS
__..--'' __..--''
__..--'' __..--'' | TASKS:
\ o __..--''____....----"" - GET SIGN
\__..--''\ - WRITE SOMETHING STUPID ON IT
| \ - CHANT STUPID SHIT
+----------------------------------+ - BLOCK TRAFFIC
OS +----------------------------------+ - BREAK THINGS
- CALL THE COPS "PIGS"
%
.__ .-".
(o\"\ | | YOU'D BE AMAZED AT THE NUMBER OF PEOPLE WHO WANT
\_\ | | TO INTRODUCE THEMSELVES TO YOU IN THE MEN'S ROOM
_.---:_ |
("-..-" /
"-.-" / UNF UNF UNF UNF UNF UNF NAPKIN PLZ
/ |
"--" AsH
%
:
;;
/ |
/ |
.' :
.-' '
_.-' /
.-*" / _
.-' .' _.-*?'
.' .' .-" .' __
.' , .-' .-+. .' _.-*".'
/ \ .-' _.--**""**-. .-' _.y-:-" .'
: `+. .*""*. `. :-. -. \ .'
; .--*""*--. / __ ` _.--. \ |$| -.` -.;/ _.-+.
: .' :*" "*..*" y`-' $| ;*" _(
\ / +----/ / .'.-'---+ .-._.+' `. -'_.--. :- "_(
`*-: | \/\/\/ | /) ` .'___ ' "_(
; `._| | \ )` .'.' `./_" (
: \| SARGE IS | (`._..--**" : .- ; `"'
\ | | `----**"T"" " `+. |
`. | WAITING | ' .' :
_.-*"*- | | / / '
.-*" _ | FOR YOU | __..-'\ / bug
"+,'___..--| |--**"" `-.__.'
"" +----------------+
%
___
.-9 9 `\
=(:(::)= ; THUS SPAKE ZARATHUSTRA: BONERS
|||| \
|||| `-.
,\|\| `,
/ \
; `'---.,
| `\
; / |
\ | /
jgs ) \ __,.--\ /
.-' \,..._\ \` .-' .-'
`-=`` `: | /-/-/`
`.__/
%
MAYBE I JUST FINALLY TOOK MY OWN
LIFE AFTER WASTING ALL THESE
YEARS MAKING CRAPPY ASCII ART
AND EVEN CRAPPIER JOKES WHAT DO I CARE I'M STILL
GOING TO FUCK YOUR CORPSE
\
\ /
,,, __
( .. OO |
__/ o|_ .)) \__|
( ) \\,'/ ____ _
/ ,' /._/ /| ||\\
`.\ ___| \|___|| _
)) | _ _>'-'
\ | | ||\||\
/ ) ) ||/||/
\|\| __ ___
_______ ||||_ ____________ //_//__\ ____________ jg
%
FOOD GOES HERE
________________________________
/ "-_
/ . | . \
/ : \ | / : \
/ '-___-' \
/_________________________________________ \
_______| |________________________--""-L
/ F J \
/ F J L
/ :' ': F
/ '-___-' /
/_________________________________________--"
NOTE: SOMETHING HORRIBLE HAPPENS ON THIS END (ONE

OPPOSING VIEW WANTS "HORRIBLE" CHANGED TO "WONDERFUL"
SO WE'RE GOING TO DROWN HIM TOMORROW MORNING)
%
.-""""-.
/ \
) ` ____.-') I DON'T LIKE THE TERM "AREOLAE"
( _6 _ / AS IT SOUNDS TOO TECHNICAL
( \ _|
) / -._/ I PREFER THE TERM "TIT CAPS"
_.--' ( _
/ , `-.
) // , \ SIMILARLY "PUSSY" SOUNDS TOO
. | ` ___.L\ ,--.\ PEDESTRIAN SO I PREFER TO
\`,--'"\.-' '.-' )| REFER TO IT AS THE "COOTER"
"'----._ __/)_,-.__. |
_ ,--L "' __.-'_/ )
\_/--\____.-' _.-' _-+.--""".
.==._-.__/. / _.-' |
/ `-. ` _/ / .` /
\ , `. `--' .' /
`-. `+_='^`-_.' __,'
`'-..__,-_`==-' .-''
a:f .-'' _.-'\
'-..__.-' -.__)
%
___ ____ ________
,"_ ,`==='`.'__....__`--.
,',' | ,o@@@@@@@@@@o. \
, /___| d@/@@@@@@@@@@@@b \ ADVICE TO AMATEUR PORNOGRAPHERS
|| "| d@/@@@@@@@@@@@@@@b| EVERYWHERE:
|| ()|| ,@/@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@:
|| , || @@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@ GUY HOLDING THE CAMERA,
||(|)|| '@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@//D SHUT THE FUCK UP
|| ' || '@@@@@@@@@@@@@@/@P
|| , || `@@@@@@@@@@@@/@'|
||(|)|| CCD `@@@@@@@@@@' |
|| ' | '----------'"""""_, |
|| , |`. S O N Y | |
:|(|)| | | |
`| '| ::............:: ,
|\__| ::::::::::::::::----"
: '::::::::::::::'
\ ; Bob_R
`---------------"
%
. JAVA TECHNOLOGY IS NOT FAULT
`:. TOLERANT AND IS NOT DESIGNED,
`:. MANUFACTURED, OR INTENDED FOR
.:' ,:: USE OR RESALE AS ON-LINE
.:' ;:' CONTROL EQUIPMENT IN HAZARDOUS
:: ;:' ENVIRONMENTS REQUIRING FAIL-SAFE
: .:' PERFORMANCE, SUCH AS IN THE
`. :. OPERATION OF NUCLEAR FACILITIES,
_________________________ AIRCRAFT NAVIGATION OR
: _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ : COMMUNICATION SYSTEMS, AIR
,---:".".".".".".".".".".".".": TRAFFIC CONTROL, DIRECT LIFE
: ,'"`::.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.::' SUPPORT MACHINES, OR WEAPONS
`.`. `:-===-===-===-===-===-:' SYSTEMS, IN WHICH THE FAILURE OF
`.`-._: : JAVA TECHNOLOGY COULD LEAD
`-.__`. ,' met. DIRECTLY TO DEATH, PERSONAL
,--------`"`-------------'--------. INJURY, OR SEVERE PHYSICAL OR
`"--.__ __.--"' ENVIRONMENTAL DAMAGE.
`""-------------""'
%
I HAVE TO THWART THIS FLOWER BEFORE IT GROWS
TALL ENOUGH TO FUCK ME IN THE ASS
.-. __
/ \ / '.
\ \ | /
__\_ \ /
.' \ \ / sSS2z
\ \ \ sS/ .( .-. __
'.__ \ \s2z _/ _ _ / \ / \
\_ '. \s -\______// / \| |/ |
.' '-._'._\ ____.---' : \ / _/_
'._,__.--| _/ _\_ \_|_.' '.
.', / : '-( )_____.'
( ( \ '.__/'--\ \
/ \ \ / | \ )
/ / \. ) / / |'-:
/ .' / / '--'\__/ \ \
_/ / /.' \ \
( '/ (_~-. \ \
/ / '-' \ \
;/ snd ) )
/ /
%
,==. WONDER TWIN POWERS ACTIVATE !!!!!
\\//
.-~~-. FORM OF
,",-""-.".
| | | | A FATASS SITTING ON THE COUCH DRINKING BEER
| | .-"| |. AND WATCHING A DVD
". `,",-" ,'.".
`| |_,-' | | OH WAIT DO I HAVE TO BE WATER-BASED
| | | |
". `-._,-' ." I DON'T REMEMBER THE RULES
hjw `-.___,-'
%
GAY ABORTION??? MY MORAL COMPASS IS SPINNING
.--""-.
.-' '-.
: :
: .--, : .--.
: : : : .' ".__.---.__.-.._
: '--' : : 66 ..--'"""--.
: : ' _ .' !
'-. .' '--' '-.___.'
fsc '-.._.-'
%
__________________________
__..--/".' '.
__..--"" | | | IF YOU FAGGOTS
/ | | | LOVINGLY TELL
/ | | ___________________ | THE STORY OF
; | | :__________________/: | THE "DOGCOW"
| | | | '.| | ONE MORE TIME
| | | | || | THEN *FOOMP*
| | | | || | WORLD WAR III
| | | | || |
| | | | || |
| | | | || |
| | | | || |
| | | | || |
| | | |______......-----"\| |
| | | |_______......-----" |
| | | |
| | | |
| | | ____----|
| | |_____.....----|#######|---|
| | |______.....----"""" |
| | | |
|. .. | | , |
|... .... | | (c ----- """ .'
|..... ...... |\|_| ____......------"""|"
|. .... .......| |"""""" |
'... ..... ....| | |
"-._ ..... .| | |
"-._.....| | ___...---"""'
"-._.| | ___...---"""
""""" grp
%
.=--
:::: -', I HOPE WE ARE ALL NOW IN TOTAL AGREEMENT
:::,_ ` THAT THIRD WORLD BOOBS ARE TRULY
.:::. '( A VAST UNTAPPED RESOURCE
.::;'. \_
.:, ,-=..._
': , c` )
| | ` _,'`Y
| : ||
{ /\ |/
| ; L c\
| | / ,'
| .' -----------=-.
| . `-.
) \ _. `-.
/ /)`.______..---' `._ `-.
//| . . `-.... `-._
' ` | / ``( _ `._
| / `-.-'
| ,
) )
/ -'
: /
` |
\ |
\ |
) )
( |
) `
\ .
`-' Krogg/a:f/dp/ejm
%
I'LL GIVE YOU A HEAD START:
,(())), INCHWORM AWAY AS FAST AS YOU CAN
(((((((() THEN HERE COMES THE GUN /"";
)(- -))) .__ / /_
)) o o )))) __---|| E ; /()
((( .. ?((( ()___---"" _||="E"| //\
)) -- /))))--""""""|| __--"" ""-,// \,
((((-_-"((()) ||___--" :::::", '\,
)))))))\| )) _---""/; ;: ' :::\ '\,
((((((( \ _(...: // . '::\ '\
))) ) .\\:: |; ::: ':"\ \
(( \\ // :::::.......,##----_ \
) '\_ ,""-_:::,_---__,--"#-_, "-_, |
MIA (o)_--" "" "--_, "-_,__--/
""---___-"
%
. .
|\-=-/| CONTENTS OF RAPE KIT: ROPE; PILLOWCASE; CANDY BAR;
/| |O _ O| |\ DUCT TAPE; RICHARD NIXON MASK; MATCHES; AIR HORN;
/' \ \_^-^_/ / `\ SAFEWAY CLUB CARD; CRACK; CRACK PIPE; CUFFS;
/' \-/ ~ \-/ `\ REGULAR PIPE FOR BONKING (CAN BE PIPE-
| /\\ //\ | LIKE INCLUDING REBAR; ***NOTE TO BOOKING
\|\|\/-""-""-\/|/|/ AGENTS*** YOU CAN'T SMOKE ROCK W/BONKING PIPE)
%
\=/,
| @___oo IT'S NOT MY REALDOLL
/\ /\ / (___,,,}
) /^\) ^\/ _) IT'S NOT YOUR REALDOLL
) /^\/ _)
) _ / / _) IT'S **OUR** REALDOLL
/\ )/\/ || | )_)
< > |(,,) )__) IN THAT I WILL TAKE THE MOUTH
|| / \)___)\ AND YOU TAKE THE ASS AND DON'T
| \____( )___) )___ LOOK AT ME DON'T LOOK AT ME DON'T
\______(_______;;; __;;;
%
_
/ \ WHY IS THIS EVEN STILL STANDING IN THESE
"(___)" POST 9/11 TIMES
|||_|||
__=|||_|||=__ OH THAT'S A FAT WANG I THOUGHT WAS THE TAJ MAHAL
_______________
____ // _ \\ ____ BOMB IT ANYWAY
// / \ \\
%
_____
\/\ | .
()))))))/
((/ \))))) DON'T GET MAD AT ME BECAUSE I HAD AN ORGASM
((),>((((
)\__ ))
( __\((__ I MEAN WELCOME TO FAWLTY TOWERS
/ )\/\,\
/.|/ _)_) \
( \ \ o| \|_
\| )_o| (__\
_/| /.__| _/ \__
_(_// /|\\ \ ||\.\
/ \|/ \ \_____\
'-..___.'
\ |/
\ |
.')|
( / |
/.\ |
(_ \ )|
) -/ )
mrf-'_/|
%
()
__)(__ INSTEAD OF KILL BILL THEY SHOULD HAVE CALLED
'-<>-' IT UMA THURMAN ACTS BLUBBERY AGAIN WHILE WE
)( __ SHOW HER BARE FEET (IN TWO VOLUMES)
|| / \\
|| ( ||)
|| ]_(\,|
|| ]-->/|
|| ( ||)
|| \_//
||
|| gnv
\/
%
_
, L\ LOOK IF GOD DIDN'T WANT ME TO HIT THEM THEN
\/OO\ HE WOULDN'T HAVE GIVEN THEM TITS
|/ \
/_\ ` END OF DISCUSSION
_\ |_ AP
%
________
_jgN########Ngg_
_N##N@@"" ""9NN##Np_
d###P N####p I'M A QUASAR EATING QUISP
"^^" T####
d###P SERIOUSLY CONSIDERING PLAYING PERQUACKY
_g###@F
_gN##@P
gN###F"
d###F
0###F
0###F
0###F
"NN@' DH
___
q###r
""
%
.-. .-.
|U| | |
| | | |
| |-._ | |-._
| | | |-. |_| | |-. WELL IT'S CERTAINLY NOT MY FAULT
/| ` | / )|_|_|_| IF MY FINGER SLIPS AND GOES RIGHT
| | | | | `-^-^-' INTO MY BUTTHOLE AND WIGGLES
| | | || | AROUND FOR A GOOD FIFTEEN MINUTES
\ / \ ' /
| | VK | |
| | | |
%
_,--', _._.--._____
.--.--';_'-.', ";_ _.,-'
.'--'. _.' {`'-;_ .-.>.'
'-:_ ) / `' '=.
) > {_/, /~)
snd |/ `^ .'
(INSTRUMENTAL)
%
_____________________________________
|""|""|""|""|""|""|""|""|""|""|""|""|"|
| 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 |
jgs '-------------------------------------'
INSIDE PRESSURE 14.2 ????? OUTSIDE PRESSURE 0.13 ?!?!?!?!?!?
I'M APPALLED BY THE SUGGESTION THAT THE UAC DOESN'T USE METRIC
%
_.,_
,-'.' .`-,
;; '. ' `. ;` - _
_,-; ' ; `. ,% .-, -
,_.,-'` ';; ; : ;%' | | \
___ _._,-`'\ `'-`' _.,' `. )
__,--`-,,`' ,._,.-`-., _.,-.--.-,`''` | _| |__
`---'////\ / .-, `-`-^--`'^`-...,,| | |.,/
//\)(/ `-\.-. | `-'
( .-; | | ,.
`-~ ~~-. `._.' ,/ /
`~ ~~~ ~~ mic /,.`)
// /
I HAVE A GUARANTEED CURE FOR /_ `/
ALCOHOLISM !!!!!!!!!!!!! ( `/
`-'
HEROIN
%
,@@@@@@@@@,
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@ WHAT KIND OF FUCKHEAD NAMES
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@ HIS KIDS "DWEEZIL" AND
@@@@@'_ _'@@@@@ "MOON UNIT" ANYWAY
@@@| o o |@@@
'@| (_) |@'
\ ___ /
|\_`~`_/|
____/: `"` :\____
/`}}}}}\ /{{{{{`\
/ {{{{{ \ / }}}}} \
/ }}}}} \.-./ {{{{{ \
| {{{{{ / | \ }}}}} |
jgs | }}}}} \/|\/ {{{{{ |
| /{{{{{ '-' }}}}}\ |
%
_.--._
,' `. JOHN GOODMAN IS FAT (FYI)
/ __) __` \
( (`-`(-') )
/) \ _ / (
/' )-._.' . \ ___
( ,--., `.)___(___)
)( /-.,--'\ _ \X/`
'/ .'/ \ ( Uu")\
/ / \ `/,-' )
( ^ , ,^ )`._.'
( `. Y .' )
\ `. )\.' / )
)`._.'=='._.' (
/ ) Ojo/VK/FS/ejm
( ."-.
/(` -) / \
( \`-.__ -'_." `
| \`-.__.--"v" |
`.' \ |, ,
/ `._/ :
/ | '
/ /| /
/ | /
%
____
/ \ I'M JUST SAYING SO WHAT IF HE DID
/______\ JIZZ INTO THE BATTER WE BAKE AT OVER
|| 400 DEGREES FOR 40 MINUTES AND IF YOU
|| MANAGED TO PAY ATTENTION
/~~~~~~\ || /~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~\ IN MIDDLE SCHOOL SCIENCE
/~ ( )( ) ~\ || /~ ( )( )( )( )( ) ~\ FOR TEN SECONDS YOU'D KNOW
(_)======(_) || (_)===============(_) THE HEAT KILLS THOSE NASTY
|________| _||_ |_________________| JIZZBUGS DEAD SO TRY MY
COFFEE CAKE YOU DUMB GIRL
%
.-.
(/^\) ATTENTION WHORES AND PORN STARS
(\ /)
.-'-. COULD YOU CUT DOWN ON THE SPIT PRODUCTION
/(_I_)\ WHEN GIVING BLOWJOBS BECAUSE QUITE FRANKLY
\\) (// IT'S MORE THAN A LITTLE DISTRACTING
/ \
\ | / THERE'S SLOPPY AND THEN THERE'S
\|/ BUBBLES AND BATHING IN IT
/|\
\|/
jgs /Y\
%
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88888o8888888o88888
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8888o88 888888888
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88 888 ,*8888o, ,o8888*, 8888 88 8
8888888 '`(0))`~ ~`((0)`' 8888888 8
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8888888 ( 7, 8888 888 8
88888888 @@@@@@ 888888888 8
8 88888o ,@@@@@@@@@, , o8888888 88
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8888 88 8`v `@@@` o`88888 888 8
88888888 `;, ,;o`8 88888888 8
8 8888 ò, ,;,;o` 888888 88 8
8888 88 ``'''` 88 8888888 8
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8888888 88 888888
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MONA LISA IN DRAG 888888
%
/\.-./~\
(o//o)| \-._ .-"-. I'M A POO DOG !!!!!
.~.'~ | | )`-----' \._
(").'/.| | ( /-.\ I BARK AND STICK MY POINTY
(_/-' \_/ | \ | \\ NOSE IN POO ALL DAY LONG
\ / / ____.-\ / ))
/\| /_.-' \\ \ ((
// || \\ \ \|
\\ ||' // \\
(/ || _// \\
" (_/ (_/ (_/ MJP
" " "
%
_.-'~~~~~~`-._ AC/DC'S "BACK IN BLACK"
/ || \ TWO LBS. OF STEW MEAT
/ || \ BIG FAT YELLOW ONION
| || | TONGS
| _______||_______ | LARGER BOWLS (FOR CHILI)
|/ ----- \/ ----- \| A2A (ASS TO ASS)
/ ( ) ( ) \ A2M (ASS TO MOUTH)
/ \ ----- () ----- / \ M2A (MOUTH TO ASS)
/ \ /||\ / \ M4M (MAN FOR MAN)
/ \ /||||\ / \ A2M2A (ASS TO MOUTH TO ASS)
/ \ /||||||\ / \ M4MMMMMMMMMMMMM (CALL ME IF THIS
/_ \o========o/ _\ HAPPENS TOTALLY CALL ME USE THE
`--...__|`-._ _.-'|__...--' CELL PHONE IF YOU HAVE TO DON'T
| `' | JUST LEAVE A MESSAGE AND GIVE UP
%
RULE OF THUMB !!!!!!!!!
_
|)` BEAT HER HARD ENOUGH SO THAT HER THUMBS DON'T WORK
| |
| |_____
/ (]__)
/ (]___)
/ (]___)
___(]_)
/
ejm /
%
//\\
<<()>> A
|==| /\\ I TOTALLY FEEL LIKE
| | / \\ THAT DYKE IN ELECTION
| | / \\
A | | / \\
//\_| |_/ \\
// | | \\
// | | //\\ \\
(( <0> | | <<()>> ))
\\ | | \\// //
\\ _| |_ //
\\/ | | \ //
V | | \ //
| | \ //
| | \ //
| | \//
| | V
| |
| |
| |
| |
| |
| |
| |
| | zot
%
(
(_)
###
(#c _\|/_
#\ wWWWw NEW YORK, NEW YORK !!!!!
\ \-. (/. .\)
/\ /`\/\ /\ NOW WITH 27% LESS URINE
|\/ \_) (_|
`\.' ; ; ;`\
`\; ; . ;/\
`\; ; ;| \
; .' ' ; /
|_.' ; | /)
( ''._;'`
| ' . ;
|.-' .:)
| |
( .' : |
|,- .:: |
| ,-' .;|
jgs_/___,_.:_\_
[I_I_I_I_I_I_]
| __________ |
| || | | || | OR IS THAT 27% FEWER URINE
_| ||_|__|_|| |_
/=--------------=\
/ \
| |
%
OH GOD THE
HEMORRHOID METEOR
SHOWER IS STARTING
..
. .
..
. .
. .
. .
. O _
_/=/
|
/ \
%
_....._
.' | `'-. /
(---|---------><
'._| _,.-' \
jgs `````
IT WOULD APPEAR THAT WE'VE GOT A 3:1 PAGAN-NONPAGAN RATIO
OR WICCANS OR WHATEVER NAME THEY'VE GIVEN THEMSELVES THIS WEEK

%
.__=\__ .__==__,
jf' ~~=\, _=/~' `\,
._jZ' `\q, /=~ `\__
j5(/ `\./ V\\,
.Z))' _____ | .____, \)/\
j5(K=~~ ~~~~\=_, | _/=~~~~' `~~+K\\,
.Z)\/ `~=L | _=/~ t\ZL
j5(_/.__/===========\__ ~q |j/ .__============___/\J(N,
4L#XXXL_________________XGm, \P .mXL_________________JXXXW8L
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~YKWmmWmmW@~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
COULD QUENTIN TARANTINO PLEASE TELL HIS STORIES IN SEQUENCE ?!?!?!?!?

THANKS !!11111
%
| |
X | O | X
| |
---+---+--- DUDE CHECK IT OUT !!!!! HERE'S MY TEXT-BASED
| | SINGLE-PLAYER TIC-TAC-TOE GAME WRITTEN IN C# !!!!!!!!
O | O | X
| |
---+---+---
| | 150 MB DOWNLOAD
X | X | O
| |
tQn
%
_.~._
,~'.~@~.`~. AM I WEARING A POLICE HAT OR
/ : _..._ : \ WHAT THE FUCK HERE PEOPLE
{ :,"''\\`".: }
`C) 9 _ 9 (--.._,-"""-.__
( )(@)( ) `.
`-.___.-' \
,' \ / ,` ;`-._,-.
,' ,'/ ,' `---t.,-. \_
,--.,',' ,'----.__\ _( \----'
'///,`,--.,' `-.__.--' `. )
'///,' `-` hjw
%
__..--. _.._
_..--''_______|-._____ ______________________|`` __``--.._
'-.-..---..---..---..--''.---..---..---..---..---..---..---.-'
|_::___::___::___::___::___::___::___::___::___::___::___|
|________________________________________________________|
'.--.':'.--.' '.--.' '.--.' '.--.' '.--.' '.--.' '.--.'
|''|.|.|''|-. |''| |''| |''| |''| |''|.|.|''|
|''|.| |''| | |''| |''| |''| |''| |''| |.|''|
|''|.|.|''| | |''| |''| |''| |''| _,|''|.|.|''|
|''|.| |''|.| |''| |''| |''| |''|/ .|''| |.|''|
|''|.|.|''| |_|''|`.__|''|,--'|''|``-.|''| |''|.|.|''|
|''|.| |''| |.|''| | |''| __|''| ||''|. |''| |.|''|
|''|.|.|''| | |''| | |''| | |''| ||''| |''|.|.|''|
|''|.| |''|.| |''| | |''| | |''| ||''| .|''| |.|''|
|''|.|.|''| | |''| |__|''|_|__|''|___||''| |''|.|.|''|
|''|_|_|__| |.|''|' |''| |''| |''|-._|''| |.|''|
|'/ )| | || |''| |''| |''| |''| |''|'|.|''|
.-'|`-' | | ||--''''----''''----''''----''''---''''---''''-.
.'---|| | | |,''--.,-------------------.----------------------'.
'-----|| | | / - - - - - - - - ,---. - \-----------------------'
|| | | : _ _,---._ _ _ _ _`._.'_ _ : SSt
||_|_|_\ _ `---' _ _ _ ,._ _ _ _ /
`--------------'--`-------'
OKAY AS A QUALITY ENGINEER LEVEL III I'M GOING TO HAVE TO GET

EVERYONE'S ATTENTION AND OFFICIALLY DECLARE THAT
*THIS* *BUILD* *IS* *DEAD*
NOW THAT WE'VE INITIATED THIS VAST AND FAR-REACHING EVENT

THAT WILL ECHO THROUGHOUT THE HISTORY OF THE UNIVERSE IT'S
TIME TO PLAY WITH NERF GUNS IN THE HALLWAYS ANNOYING THOSE PEOPLE
ACTUALLY TRYING TO FUCKING DO SOME REAL WORK
(NOTE: THE PARTHENON IS USED FOR ILLUSTRATION AND IS NOT ACTUALLY

INVOLVED IN THE BUSINESS OF QUALITY ASSURANCE)
%
,---. .--.
( . ) ( . )
`/--___ __`--`.
,. _'| |___||___| _|`.
(-./_,|-,,' `.' |\ `
__`-`-'|// `:. \,|'
-- - --- |\ | ||| ` | |
-- | \ _|_|\\ jrei / |
- _ \ \ ,-'-.`._____,',-'-.
______________ `[]\ .\____________________
|`.____________`. || \`| .::' ._
| |_''_o_o__o =.| || \|_________________
| | ,--. ,--. : _ ||
| |( () ) ( () )|: \`::') --- __
`.|_`-_'___`-_'_|`. / :: \
- _ - : \___:/ _ - -
`--..___)
LET'S ALL FORM A DEEP SOCIOPOLITICAL ROCK BAND !!!!!
YOU FORM THE FEET AND LEGS, YOU FORM THE ARMS AND BODY
AND I'LL FORM THE HEAD

%
+--------------------------------------------------------+ AND SO THE
| ^^^^^^^^^^^^ | Q ATE THE
| ^^^^^^^^^^^ ^^^^^^^^^ | BEE AND MOST
| ^^^^^^^^^^^^^ ^^^^^^^^^^^^^ | OF THE CARROTS
| ^^^^^^^ Q ^^^^^^^^^ | (YOU KNOW WHAT
| ^^^^^^^^^ ^^^ ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ | Q STANDS FOR IF
+--------------------------------------------------------+ NOT LOOK IT UP)
%
IT'S THE URINE GOD
AND HE'S PISSED !!!!!!!!!!!

_
(` ). _
( ). .:(` )`.
) _( '`. :( . )
.=(`( . ) .-- `. ( ) )
(( (..__.:'-' .+( ) ` _` ) )
`. `( ) ) ( . ) ( ) ._
) ` __.:' ) ( ( )) `-'.-(` )
) ) ( ) --' `- __.' :( ))
.-' (_.' .') `( ) ))
(_ ) ` __.:'
--..,___.--,--'`,---..-.--+--.,,-,,..._.--..-._.-a:f--.
GHLAGAHLGSFLHGFDBULHGBHULGDG8RGH TANGY
%
|`. _,=--,
| `. /:' ,' THESE CREATURES, O MIGHTY GORK,
`!;. |: ,' COME FROM THE OTHER SIDE
`"-()<._ OF THE UNIVERSE
,' | `:`.
,' ,:/|`. `|
'--="'|| `.|
||
||mt-2
|| (THIS IS THE WORST GRAMMAR BOOK EVER)
||
%
~ ~~ __
_T .,,. ~--~ ^^ PEOPLE PEOPLE
^^ // \ ~ I THINK WE ALL KNOW
][O] ^^ ,-~ ~ THIS DAMAGE WASN'T
/''-I_I _II____ CAUSED BY A SO-CALLED
__/_ / \ ______/ '' /'\_,__ HURRICANE BUT IN FACT
| II--'''' \,--:--..,_/,.-{ }, IS ANOTHER HULK-RELATED
; '/__\,.--';| |[] .-.| O{ _ } INCIDENT THAT THE U.S.
:' | | [] -| ''--:.;[,.'\,/ ARMY HAS BEEN COVERING UP
' |[]|,.--'' '', ''-,. | FROM DAY ONE (TELL THE TRUTH
.. ..-'' ; ''. ' GENERAL ROSS!!!!!!!!)
%
/\
/ \
/ \ YOU CAUGHT A FAERIE!
/ \ WHAT WILL YOU DO?
/ \
/__________\
/\__________/\ - KEEP IT IN A BOTTLE
/ \ / \ - SET IT FREE
/ \ / \ - BASH ITS HEAD IN LIKE
/ \ / \ MATTHEW SHEPARD
/ \ / ^~DLF \
/__________\/__________\
\__________/\__________/
%
/
/
/
/
/
/;
/;
//
//
;/
,// I'M THREE LAWS SAFE
_,-' ;_,,
_,'-_ ;|,'
_,-'_,..--. |
___ .'-'_)' ) _)\| ___
,'"""`'' _ ) ) _) ''--'''_,-'
-={-o- /| ) _) ) ; '_,--''
\ -' ,`. ) .) _)_,''|
`."( `------'' /
`.\ _,'
`-.____....-\\
|| \\
// ||
// ||
// ||
_-.//_, _||_,
jrei ,' ,-'/
%
:+"" ~<<::""+:
+Xi<<<<!< `<<!?!<<<HMti%L
:?HMMMM:<<<!<~ <<<!X<<<!MM$$MMh?x
!HMRMMRMMM:<<<!< <<<!!<<<MR$$MRMMRMH?.
?NMMMMMMMMMMM<<<?< <<!!<<XM$$RMMMMMMMMM?
!$$$$$MMMMMMRMMk<<!! <<H!<<M$$MRMMRMMMRMMRM!
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xHMRMMR$$$$$8RMMMMMM<<!< <!!<<9$$RMMMRMMRMMMMM?!<<%
:XMMMMMMMM$$$$$MMMMMMH<<~ ~~~<X$RMMMMMMMMMMM!!<~ k
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!RMMRMMMRMMRMMMMMX M @P #$ 4 MMRMMMRMMRMMMMMMR<
!MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM ! '$ $! ' MtMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM!
kMMRMMRMMRMMMRMMR4 H #$. @$ H MMMMRMMMMMMRMMRMM!
'9MMRMMMRMMRMMP! : % H @ $NRMHx<<<!!MMMMMR!
>MMMMMMMMM" <<HMk!i *u .* x*xR$$$$8MMMMHi<<<<~<
!RMM#~ :<:MMRMMMMH.*n: :*.HRMMMRM$$$$$$8MRMMM!
! <<:tMMMMMMMMMM$RM<::: :<<XMMMMMMMMMR$$$$$$$8MM!
~ <<<XHMRMMMMMMRMM$RM<<<<< `!<<MRMMRMMRMMMRR$$$$$$#
:HMMMMMMMMMMMM9$$MM<<X!<~'~<<<MMMMMMMMMMMMMR$$#!
~MMRMMMRMMRMM$$MM<<<?<< <<<<!RMMMRMMRMMMMMM!
xMMMMMMMM9$$MM%<<<?<<: <!<<<?MMMMMMMMMMMX
!?MMMM@$$MMR<<<<!<<< <:<<<MRMMRMMMP!
"X*9$$RMM!<<<?!<<~ <!<<<<MMMMM?" BA
!X*MM<<<<H!<<` <?<<<<<)!
"+:uX!<<< .::+""
IF YOU FAST FORWARD TO TRACK 99 YOU CAN HEAR THE

SOUND OF SOMEONE BEATING OFF
%
_ . _
_.-~ ~ ~-.
.-~~ C : I KNOW !!! LET'S TALK POLITICS
. u .- -. : ON SLASHDOT !!!!!
, p .' `''
.' i : *: : BECAUSE AS WE ALL KNOW DORKS
: '._ d `. , . INCAPABLE OF WASHING THEMSELVES
.' ` `-._ `. ( . ON A REGULAR BASIS ARE REALLY
.- `. `. '_`_ _ `. ' IN A POSITION TO DELIVER INCISIVE
.'- . .' . ~ . ~ ;' AND RELEVANT POLITICAL COMMENTARY
:- ~.-:' `.
.' ; .' .' `.
;- ; .' .' ;
;- ; ' ; .'
;- .' : .' ____ ; _
;- : .' `-'- :`.__ .- -~ } - - - - - ->=-
;- : - (- :~ `- } - - - - - ->=-
`. ..:' `-._ _ __`- '_ _ .'- } - - - - - ->=-
'._; ; `._ _ _ _,.- -._ _} - - - - - ->=-
; :
.'_.-~ ~ ~ \ :
;' `; .'`. CAPITALISM SUCKS !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
; :__; `. AS I TYPE ON THIS COMPUTER WHICH
`. :' `. CAPITALISM MADE POSSIBLE
: :`. `.
Staszek
%
_._
,-" T "-. ,.
( _____ ) /</
/ /- | -\ \ ./>/
,. \/| ,'. |\/ /\/ IS "YOSOMONO" LITERALLY JAPANESE FOR
\<\ // \ - / \\/ /` "USELESS UPTIGHT PISSY LITTLE BITCH"
\>\,(\_____/`---"\__/_//)
\/\ ) ((| ~ |)) (
"\ Y______\\"-"//______\
\/ \\ // \
/ / \\/ ,--. , \
/ / \\([JW])|, \
( `| \\`--" | )
"_ | \\ | _"
"_ \-.__ ||__,-._"
")-.__`----'__,-"
JW / `----' \
/ || |
/ // \
| || \
/ // |
/ //\\ |
| || \\ \
| || || |
|___________|| \\_______\
[___________|] [|_______]
|Y/| /\\/_
(mmn (_((__nm
[___] [_______]
%
!!!! A MOMENT OF YOUR TIME PERHAPS
!!!!!!!!
!!!!!!!!!!! o_o PLEASE CONSIDER THE BREAKING OF MY
!!! !!!!!!! /@ @\ NECK QUICKLY INSTEAD OF BURYING ME
!!!!!! \ x / INSIDE YOUR WALL TO DIE A SLOW
!!!!!!/ m !m PAINFUL UNDIGNIFIED DEATH
!!!!/ __ |
!!!!|/ \__ I'M CC'ING THE SYSTEM ADMINISTRATOR
!!!\______\ AND EVERYBODY IN THE BANGPATH ON THIS ONE
%
|b
||
||,
|'\
|`|
| `|
'| |.
| `L
| |,
`| |. _,/7
| `| __,---'' /
| `| __,---'" ..- ./
|| | _.--=/'',--=-,, - ,/
`| \,/'''`\, /' > \ /'
| ,/' `. . `\ ,/' / \ \ /'
___,----Y-' Y 7' .'.' `\ \ /'
_-/'' `\. . ,/' /.' `\\
_,-'' --- \ ` /' ./.' __-' "
_/'' .-- `\ /' /,'_--'
,/'' .. `"\_ ./ /='etb
.,/' .--"\ / /
<------------------,_____ ,/~' \ | ./ .'
`""""""" `|_/\ /
WHAT WAS THE POINT OF THAT UNICORN SCENE ANYWAY ?!?!?!?!?!?!?

%
( )
|\ _,--------._ / |
| `.,' `. / | I'M A BRACHISTOCHRONE
` ' ,-' '
\/_ _ ( /
(,-.`. ,',-.`. `__,'
|/#\ ),-','#\`= ,'.` |
`._/) -'.\_,' ) ))|
/ (_.)\ . -'//
( /\____/\ ) )`'\
\ |V----V|| ' , \
|`- -- -' ,' \ \ _____
___ | .' \ \ `._,-' `-
`.__,`---^---' \ ` -'
-.______ \ . / ______,-
`. ,' ap
%
/ / / / / / / /
/ / / / / / /
/ / __|__ / / /
/ / \ / /
/ /_______\ / / I SAID A BICYCLE NOT AN UMBRELLA
| / /
| | / / /
-O_O+ / / /
J
%
__ _.--..--._ _
.-' _/ _/\_ \_'-. PERHAPS IF YOU REMOVED YOUR
|__ / _/\__/\_ \__| JUPITER MISSILES FROM TURKEY AN
|___/\_\__/ \___| ACCOMMODATION COULD BE REACHED
\__/
\__/
\__/
\__/
____\__/___
. - ' ' -.
/ \
~~~~~~~ ~~~~~ ~~~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~~~
~~~ ~~~~~ ~!~~ ~~ ~ ~ ~ ~pjb
%
|.
/_\
o |___|
(+) /_____\
() /_\ |=====|
|| (___) |_____| _________ _______
/__\ |.| |.| / \ __| S N |
_ |__| |o| _|_ _ |.| _ /___________\ | |: : :|
| 0 __ + ||_ _|_|__|#|_/_\ |.| / \_ |[] [] [] []|__|_|: : :|
| | |__| _|__ _|| |_ / |#| |:|_|.|_/____\ |[] [] [] []| |: : :|
|_._|_/\/\/\/____\/______\/_______|#|_|:| |.| | [] |_|[] [] [] []| __|_____|
|_____|_|_|_|____|________|_______|_|_|_|_|_|_|____|_|__H__H__H__|_|__|_____|
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
=============================================================================
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
JB
PLEASE TAKE NOTE: I HEARD BLU IS JUST A MOOD
%
_____
((( `\
MAYBE IF SOMEONE JUST UP _ _`\ )
AND RAPED ME I'D FINALLY (^ ) )
SHUT MY FUCKING BON-BON ~-( )
GUZZLING WORD HOLE _'((,,,)))
,-' \_/ `\
HEHE !!!! ( , |
`-.-'`-.-'/|_|
\ / | |
=()=: / ,' aa
%
,"=-.
/ _),`'".
( /a( ), )
) C = = ?/ ONCE YOU HAVE CHILDREN YOU SHOULD
( )) (_ o-< BE BANNED FROM PORN FOREVER
) ( `-' \; ( \_
( | \ ) )| \_/}
\ \ \(_;/-|_)
)/) `._,--/ /
/ `!__!!
( (_o))
---`-._, )---
------( / |----
| ( |
:__/|\_;
\ |/
)(\_
/_)--`
gpyy \_!
%
_________________
/_________________\
|====#=#=#=#=#====|
_________________________________________| |
/ |_____________ |
/________________________________________________________\ |
| [+] [+] [+] [+] [+] [+] [+] [+] [+] [+] [+] [+] [+] | |
:==============================================================:|
| [+] [+] [+] [+] [+] [+] [+] [+] [+] [+] [+] [+] [+] [+] [+] ||
|--------------------------------------------------------------||
| [+] [+]:[+]:[+]:[+]:[+] [+] [+] [+] [+] [+] [+] [+] [+] [+] ||
| ::::::::::::: ||
| [+] [+]:[+]:[+]:[+]:[+] [+] ( ) [+] [+] [+] [+] [+] [+] [+] ||
| :::::::::::( ) ( ) ||
()[+] ()]:[():[():[( ) ) [( | )+] [+] [+] [+] [+] [+] [+] ||
( ) ( ):( ))( )( )( | ) ) ( ) () ( ) ( ))|
( )( ))( )( ( ) ( ) ) | ( )( )( )( )[+] [+]( ( ))
( )) ( )( ( )( )( ( ) ( | ) )( ) )( ) )---:::::( ) )
============================= | ( ) ( ) ) ( ) ::::::( )
-----------------------------=====================================
- _ -- __ - --__ _ - _ _ - -------------------------------------
_ -- _ -- --_ -- _ - __ | -- __ -- - _ -- --- _ __ -- -
-- _ --- __ - _-- | --_ - __ -- ___ -- _ - __ - - _ _
_ -- __ -- - - _ - | - _ - _ -- _ --- _ -- _ --- bni
I HOPE BERNIE MAC IS GOING TO DO SOMETHING ABOUT FANNIE MAE

%
.--. THE PROBLEM WITH REAL SEX IS THAT
." o \__ THEY'RE ALL REAL .... FUCKING UGLY
_.-" ,( `
_.-" ,;;| I MEAN HBO'S REAL SEX NOT REAL ACTUAL SEX
_.-=" _," ,,;;;'
.-"`_.-"``-..,,;;;;:' OH WHO AM I KIDDING EVEN AS A SEXY ASS
`"'` `\`\ BIRD I STILL DON'T GET ANY !!!!!!
jgs /^\\\ OH LOOK A DICK AGHLGAHLGAHLGAHLAGHLAG
%
___
.-" "-. I'M A HEMOGLOBIN
.' . ; `.
/ : . ' : \
| ` .-. . ' |
| : ( ) ; ` |
| : `-' : |
\ .` ; : /
hjw `. . ' .' WELL I'M ARSENIC, GET OVER HERE YOU
`-.___.-'
%
.------._
/ \.-.
\_-_:===='; _.) I'M THE KWISATZ HADERACH
.'/''..''\', \\
| ' || '.|
| | || | |
| | 0 || 0 | |
.'_ __.--.__ _'.
(__. _.----._ .__)
`--======--' dlK
%
________
.##@@&&&@@##. THE BEST PART OF WATCHING
,##@&::%&&%%::&@##. QUEER EYE FOR THE STRAIGHT GUY
#@&:%%000000000%%:&@# IS KNOWING THEY'RE ALL
#@&:%00' '00%:&@# GOING TO HELL ANYWAY
#@&:%0' '0%:&@#
#@&:%0 0%:&@#
#@&:%0 0%:&@#
#@&:%0 0%:&@#
"" ' " " ' ""
_oOoOoOo_ .-.-.
(oOoOoOoOo) ( : )
)`"""""`( .-.`. .'.-.
/ \ (_ '.Y.' _)
| | ( .'|'. )
\ / '-' | '-'
`=========` jgs
%
^^ | ^^
:: | ::
^^ :: | :: ^^
:: :: | :: :: HEY
:: :: | :: ::
:: :: | :: :: HEY LADY
:: :: _/~\_ :: ::
:: :::/ \::: :: WHEN I GROW UP
:::::( )::::: I WANT TO BE A
\ ___ / COMMERCIAL SHIPPING LANE
:::::/` `\::::: SO ALL THE BIG BOATS
:: ::\o o/:: :: BLOATED WITH CARGO
:: :: :": :: :: FROM WONDERFUL
:: :: ` ` :: :: FARAWAY LANDS
:: :: :: :: WOULD GO THROUGH ME
:: :: :: ::
^^ :: :: ^^
:: ::
^^ ^^
%
.---. .---.
.' / )))^^\\ ) THE BEST PART ABOUT TWO
(> (( e Va ) ) GIRLS KISSING IS THAT
[_3 ) < (( ) THEY CAN'T TALK IN
__(/ _ B>.__) ( ) THE MEANTIME
/ \ ( ) )
/ .V (\ $ ( ( (\
/ / ( .) .) \ $/ \ ) \
,--.\_/ / \ / / `.__
/ \.'\ - \__ / /._/ `''-.
/ .^ "/## .' \/ / \ \ `. .-
/ / \ {i}( / / \__>\ c ## \.' \
/ .' \___.-._>._/ /\ `. #\\ \ / `""`-..._-._
_.-' / __/ / \n- '-.____\ /_______________>
Sexii c___/ //_.' `./ 3 \ /
( /' `--'
`
%
__ __ __
|==| |==| |==| LOOSE LIPS SUCK DICKS
__|__|__|__|__|__|_
__|___________________|___
__|__[]__[]__[]__[]__[]__[]__|___
|............................o.../
\.............................../
hjw_,~')_,~')_,~')_,~')_,~')_,~')_,~')/,~')_
%
||||| HEY SOMETHING'S BROKEN IN THE BUILD ?!?!?!?!
||O O|`____.
|||\-/|| \ __\ "SYNC TO HEAD"
|.--:--| . :
/( ):( |_.-~~_. WELL I SYNCED A FEW HOURS/DAYS/WEEKS AGO AND
(~m : / | oo:| NOW IT'S NOT WORKING SO CAN YOU HELP
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"SYNC TO HEAD YOU FUCKING MORON"
//@@
@@-OO BUT I SYNCED RELATIVELY RECENTLY AND HAVEN'T
@@@ ^ @ _____ BOTHERED TAKING THE TRIVIAL AMOUNT OF TIME
/ \ / \ |\____\ TO SEE IF THERE'S ANYTHING MORE SO I'LL
/ ( X ) | | | | CONTINUE TYPING, THEREBY CONSUMING PRECIOUS
<___=\ | | | MINUTES OF BOTH OF OUR LIVES THAT WE'LL
\======\ \|_"_| NEVER GET BACK
(___
VK/MC
%
____
.--"~~" ~"\___
Y ] ~~"\
l `v.,_ _/' ]
\ | 7~~" /'
\ | / /~"------"~
__.} l_/-^-<-.
.--"~ Y I Y
/ l oj-<______
Y _ ~---~ ( ^ Y
l |~t-.__( // \.__.^
\ | | ~\ _.^
"-._ | | "---"~
Y |-^----------..,__
. | |--.,__ --.,__ ~"-.
\\ | l l "~--.,_ ~--. \
\\ _____ | \ \___, "-._ /
\>-"~ ~"-.--j ~----/ "--"
/ ,--. Y
_Y_ / ( ) ___ |_ -Row
,-~ " "--" " ~-< ~-.
/ Y \ \
/ / . l Y )Y
/ l /-.____l !\, ) ! / /
Y / /"--" / \__/' \ / /_K-~
`\__K-"\__.-" ^.__K-"
I'M SO HARD MY DICK'S POINTING TO MAGNETIC NORTH

%
________________________________________________
|,mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.| I WAS GOING TO WATCH
||8888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888|| THE NOVA CALLED
||8888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888|| "SURVIVING AIDS" BUT
||8888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888|| THEN I REALIZED IT
||8888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888|| WASN'T A COMEDY
||8888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888||
||888888888888888888888888888888888888888Y""""""|| NO LAUGH TRACK
||8888888888888888888888888888888888;"' - ||
||888888888888888888888888888888888| `---.____- || NO PIES IN FACES
||:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::L -- - `||
||::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::J - --. || NOT EVEN A RODNEY
||::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::| --. || DANGERFIELD GAG
||::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::L --. --.||
||:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::J -- --. || JUST KAPOSI'S
||`'''''''''''''':::::::;:::::::::::::..._______|| SARCOMA AND LISPS
|| - `''''''''''''''::::::::||
||- - - ||
|| - ||
|| - - - ||
||_-__________-__________________-___________l42||
'------------------------------------------------'
%
HI I'M THE LITTLE CHRISTIAN FISH
I'M AN ICON AND A WARNING SIGN
(NO JEWS, NO A-RABS, NO BLACKS, NO IRISH)
/
<><
%
___
/. `\ I THINK WE SHOULD GET A BUNCH OF
/ , ` | FUCKING PUSSY GIRLY MEN IN A ROOM AND
/^\__/' THEN PUT SPIDERS ON THEIR FACES
_,--~, /_ AND CHALLENGE THEM TO DO STUPID SHIT
/' ~~~ -__ ~-, AND RECORD THEM BITCHING AND
,/ , _ \ WHINING ABOUT EACH OTHER !!!!!!!
/ |`-_ _ '_/%\ `\
/ |_, ~~ __/`\ \ IT'S TOTALLY QUEER EYE MEETS
,--~~"' / \ `--/ |, > FEAR FACTOR MEETS THE APPRENTICE !!!!
//^|~~---' ; , , | '
,'` , ( | /
,' `;;;,' \ ,' |
/ 77); `./||`
/ ,"^ \, ,
/ / \ ,
( ,' \ |
\ `. \_- \
\ ; \ `,
` ' \ | TELEVISION FOR FUCKING RETARDS
\ ` \ `
| ) `, `.
/ ' ,' )
mooO' Ooom' mOm
%
_"_ %
(< ? BOOBS ARE THE BEST THING IN THE WORLD
` "
__||___
|\___//_\
(' | ') \\
__|\ , / |/
/: / \ ::
\| ######o /|
######## \)
########
\ : /
\: /
--
%%%
%%
% OKAY THINGS I GUESS
/:\
|/|, b'ger
%
_o,:o?\?dM&MHcc~,. WHAT
..^':&#""HMMMMMMMM$:?&&?.
.` -` 'HMMMMMMMMMHMMMp\. THE
. ' |MMMMMMMMMMMMMM"' .
. `9MMMMMMMMMMMMM -. WORLD
- `*9MMMMMHH##[ .
- `\Z9MMM `~\ . NEEDS
: '| ?MMb_?p""-?v.. :
- `"'*&#, - . NOW
: `?,oHH#? .
-- |MMMMH,: IS
: . |MMMMMM6,
: - |MMMMMMMM
? HMMMMMMP
-- . ' |HMMMMM' LESS
:.` . ' JMMMM+ PEOPLE
\ ,MMMP: FUCKING
: |MMH?: STUFFED
-:\. dM#" . ANIMALS
\ ,H*' .'
-. d':..'
` . .,.-
'-.. .\oooodov~^-`
%
______
_.' _..._\
_/ .'_..._ ' I'M VOTING FOR RALPH NADER BECAUSE
.' / /.'==..=\: I LIKED HIM ON HAPPY DAYS (AND THEN LATER
'._\ \\ O _O<' WHEN HE WAS A MOUSE WHO RODE A MOTORCYCLE)
_/_/ ._'._).'_ /
/ \_/ .=== \ \
\ | / |
\ \ \ | |/
'-._ | . /
'.\ /
\__\
%
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^) MY BONER GIVES
/ / ) CANCER TO ANGELS
/ / o )___
/ / ___.)
/ / (-----( )-- )
/ / (_) )
/ / / )
/ / / )
//// / )
/ / )
------------------------
%
O O _____
o## ####### ## #o |IIIII|
o# # #vvvvv##### #o ## #o |I I I| WHEN I SHOUT
o# ##### ##o #ooo |I I I| "QUEER COCKSUCKERS"
___ o# /\/\/\###### ##oo |IIIII| YOU SHOUT "THEY'RE
|III| oo# ########oo ___||_ |I I I| NOT HUMAN" AND THEN
|I I| ooo#^^^^^^#######oo _ |= = =| |I I I| OPEN THE TRAPDOOR
|III| ################# ||| |= = =| |IIIII| /
_|I I|__ ################## _|||_|= = =|_|I I I|__i_______
|\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/|
|/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\|
%
|\
|\\ STUPID FUCKING WHORE
|\\\
{\ /\\\\.. GOT ME FIVE YEARS IN SING SING
{\\../ \
{//.. { ( * > NEXT TIME I'LL USE BLEACH
{/ \. /
//// )
///
%
%%%%%% %%%%%%%%
%%%%% ,, %%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%
(< ?%%%%%%%%%%%
~ %
___ //___ THIS JUST IN: BARTLETT'S A BIG GIRL
/ |
'/ (* )( *) | ',
################## b'ger
""""""""""""""""""
%
SERVICE
___......__ _ GUARANTEES
_.-' ~-_ _.=a~~-_ CITIZENSHIP ??
.-.-_----------~ .--. _ -.__.-~ ( ___==>
'''--...__ ( \ \\\ { ) _.-~ LET'S NOT BE
=_ ~_ \\-~~~//~~~~-=-~ SO HASTY NOW
|-=-~_ \\ \\
|_/ =. ) ~} IT'S EASIER JUST TO
|} || GIVE UP AND GIVE HEAD
// ||
_// {{ REALLY GOOD HEAD
'='~' \\_
~~'
%
.-""`````````""-.
/'-.___________.-'\ THE COOK, THE THIEF, HIS WIFE,
; ; HER LOVER, AND THE TWO HOURS OF
| __.......__ | MY LIFE THAT ARE GONE AND I CAN
|.-'` ~ `'-.| NEVER GET BACK
|::-.___~______~.-'`|
;:::::. ;
\::::. /
':::::. .'
`-:::::.._.-'
| |
| |
| |
| |
| |
| |
jgs ___| |___
.-'` | | `'-.
( `"""` )
'._ _.'
`"""""""""`
%
.--. HELLO FOLKS HAPPY NEW YEAR
.-./ ___\ ||
`-'\|. .| || MY NAME IS GARY RIDGEWAY BUT YOU MIGHT
__\=/__ .-. KNOW ME BEST AS SEATTLE'S GREEN RIVER
.' \:/ `. /\/| KILLER, THE PROLIFIC SERIAL MURDERER OF
/ /( : )\ V /|| PROSTITUTES AND PEOPLE I THOUGHT WERE
\_\( : ) `-' || PROBABLY PROSTITUTES
(_(__:__) __||___
\ | / / / I WAS JUST WONDERING IF YOU'D LIKE YOUR
|__|__| ( ( DRIVEWAY SHOVELED OR IF YOU NEEDED ANY
(___V___) \______\ CURIOUS IRREGULAR-SHAPED OBJECTS DUMPED
%
~~ ~~ THIS IS WHY WE DON'T
|| || LET WELSH PEOPLE HOLD
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@ PUBLIC OFFICE !!!!!
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@ /
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@\___
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@ \
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@ -___/
\/
%
* CAN I PLEASE HAVE YOUR
/) (\ COMPLETE ATTENTION
/ ) ( \
_( (_ _ _ _) )_ THAT STAR REPRESENTS YOUR
(((\ \> /_> <_\ </ /))) PRETTY PINK ASSHOLE
(\\\\ \_/ / \ \_/ ////)
\ / \ / THE TWO HANDS REPRESENT MY OWN
\ _/ \_ / TWO GRABBY EXPLORATORY HANDS
/ / \ \
/ / \ \ ALSO I DON'T CLIP MY FINGERNAILS
%
O O
| |
*** \ / ***
* ** \ / ** * I WONDER IF
** ooooo ** \ / ** ooooo ** TIMECOP WIPES
** oooooooooo *\ /* oooooooooo ** FRONT TO
** ooooooooooo *[ ]* ooooooooooo ** BACK
** oooooooooooo *[ ]* oooooooooooo **
** 0000000000000 *[ ]* 0000000000000 **
** ============= *[ ]* ============= **
** 000000000000 *[ ]* 000000000000 **
*** ooooooooo *[ ]* ooooooooo ***
********** *[ ]* **********
** ooo * ooo **
** ooooo * * ooooo **
** oooooo * * oooooo **
** 00000000 ** ** 00000000 **
** ========= ** ** ========= **
** 0000000 ** ** 0000000 **
** oooo ** ** oooo **
** oo * * oo **
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%
____ ____
/ __ \_________/ __ \ I n t e r i o r , L e v e l 6
/ / \___________/ \ \ ---------------------------------
\ \ o oo o / /
/ / oo----. \ \
/ / 8 __oo `.1 \ \ 1 ......... HUGE GAY DICKS BASHING YOUR
__/ /\ .~ || 2 \ \ \__ MOUTH AND FACE 24/7
/ __/ \ .' 9.-'`-. | /\__ \ 2 .......................... VOMITORIUM
/ / o \|__: o :_____|/ o \ \ 3 ......................... PLANETARIUM
\ \__ 7 .---: 10 :------.3 __/ / 4 ........................ GAY DISCO #4
\__ \ / `-..-' \/ __/ 5 ... ANOTHER GAY DISCO (???? WTF?????)
\ \/\ 5 || / / 6 ........... BASE COMMANDER'S QUARTERS
\ \ `. || 4 / / AND GAY DISCO
\ \ o~`---|| o / / 7 .... TOILET (ACTUALLY HOLE IN GROUND)
/ /6 ____||_____ \ \ 8 ...................... DO NOT GO HERE
\ \__/ _________ \__/ / 9 .................. SUCK & FUCK CENTRE
\____/ \____/ 10 ..................... RECEPTION AREA
%
______
,'" "-._
,' "-._ _._
; __,-'/ |
;| ,-' _,'"'._,.
|: _,' |\ `.
: \ _,-' | \ `. MY DONG IS A
\ \ ,-' | \ \ CYLINDRICAL WAVEGUIDE
\ '. .-. | \
\ \ " | : I HOPE YOUR MOUTH IS
`. `. | | PROFICIENT WITH
`. "-._ | ; BESSEL FUNCTIONS
/ |`._ `-._ L /
/ | \ `._ "-.___ _,'
/ | \_.-"-.___ """"
\ : /"""
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%
\ . ./ ONE FOR THE OL'
\ .:";'.:.." / SUGGESTION BOX:
(M^^.^~~:.'").
- (/ . . . \ \) - NUKE MECCA
O ((| :. ~ ^ :. .|))
|\\ - (\- | \ / | /) - NOW MORE THAN EVER
| T -\ \ / /-
/ \[_]..........................\ \ / / ALSO MY BALLS ITCH
%
;
:
:
:
:-.
' '. ___
.. '/ \
\ ' '. :\
: '.: \ POOR MICHAEL JACKSON
: : :
\ : :
\ / :
.''. / : I MEAN HOW CAN HE CONTINUE HIS
: '...' : LIFE'S WORK OF RAPING CHILDREN
'.__.-' \ IF THE POLICE KEEP BOTHERING HIM
'._ :
'--.__ :
':-- '.
.'\' :
/ . :
/ . .' ;
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'-': /\
[WILU] : : :
: : :
: : :
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/ /: :
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%
_.,_
,-'.' .`-,
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//\)(/ `-\.-. | `-'
( .-; | | ,.
`-~ ~~-. `._.' ,/ /
`~ ~~~ ~~ /,.`)
// /
I'M TED KENNEDY /_ `/
( `/
THE ONE NOBODY BOTHERED TO KILL `-'
%
.--.--.--.--.
/ / / / |\
/ / / / / \
| |> /
| | / I'M PROTESTING THE FACT THAT I CAN'T
| / THINK OF ANYTHING GOOD TO PROTEST
| / RIGHT NOW
| __ .'
/ .' IF I'M NOT CAREFUL SOMEONE WILL FORM
/ / ANOTHER PROTEST TO PROTEST MY PROTEST !!!!
/ / ABOUT NOT BEING ABLE TO COME WITH ANYTHING
/ ' TO PROTEST
/ /
/ /
/ / WHOSE STREETS
' /
/ OUR STREETS
%
. . . .
. . . . . .. .
. . . . . . .
. . . . . . . LET'S WATCH PROJECT
. . . . . . . . RUNWAY TO SEE FAGGOTS
. . . . . . . . . . CRY
. . . .. .
. . . . . . . . .. WELL MORE THAN USUAL
. . . . . . . . .. ANYWAY
. . . . . . . . .
.. . . .. . .. .
.. . . . . .. . .. .
. . . . .
. . . . .
. . . . .
. . . . .
. . . . .
. . . . .
. . . . .
. . . . . .
. . . . . .
%
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LGB /.--` \ \ .''''\
`._..._| `-.' .-. |
'_.'-./.'
FUCK THIS ELECTION !!!!!! LET'S SECEDE FROM THE UNION
BECAUSE WHAT DEMOCRACY MEANS TO ME IS I ALWAYS GET MY WAY OR FUCK IT
WHAT DO YOU MEAN CANADA WON'T HAVE US OH WELL I'M GOING TO STARBUCKS
%
,( ,( ,( ,( ,( ,( ,( ,(
`-' `-' `-' `-' `-' `-' `-' `-' `
THERE IS NO TSUNAMI THREAT
THERE IS NO TSUNAMI THREAT
YES THERE HAVE BEEN HORRIFIC ACTS OF TSUNAMIS

AND YES THERE WILL BE ACTS OF TSUNAMIS AGAIN
BUT THAT DOES NOT MEAN THAT THERE IS SOME

MASSIVE TSUNAMI THREAT
%
> > --,
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("_) (XX)// __$ / \
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c-" -2 n UU
____________________________________________________________________a:f
____ ___ _____ _
THE FACT THAT I CANNOT GET AN ERECTION DOESN'T MEAN I SHOULDN'T TRY
%
I HAVE INSIDER INFO ON THE LATEST HIGH-PROFILE COURT CASE
AND THUS AM SPEAKING ABOUT IT AUTHORITATIVELY AND DEBATING
WITH MY FRIENDS ABOUT WHAT REALLY HAPPENED AND WHAT THE
PROPER PUNISHMENT IS FOR THEIR SINS ACCORDING TO MY MORAL
AND ETHICAL STANDARDS
AND I HAVEN'T BEEN PUSHED OFF A BRIDGE YET
THANKS PATRIOT ACT
.;+''+.
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================================================.
.-. .-. .--. |
| OO| | OO| / _.-' .-. .-. .-. .''. |
| | | | \ '-. '-' '-' '-' '..' |
'^^^' '^^^' '--' |
===============. .-. .================. .-. |
| | | | | '-' |
| | | | | |
| ':-:' | | .-. |
l42 | '-' | | '-' |
===============' '================' |
IT'S LIKE JESUS IS RUNNING FROM GHOSTS IN A MAZE
LET'S MAKE PARALLELS BETWEEN JESUS CHRIST AND PAC-MAN

FOR INSTANCE COMPARING ENERGIZERS YOU EAT TO SCARE THE
MONSTERS TO THE WAFERS THAT ARE THE BODY OF CHRIST AND
THE GHOSTS TO UNBELIEVERS AND THE LITTLE DOTS AS I
DON'T KNOW MAYBE THEY'RE THE APOSTLES BUT LET'S GO
ON AND ON ABOUT IT FOR TWENTY PARAGRAPHS TREATING IT
SERIOUSLY EVEN THOUGH IT'S PATHETICALLY RIDICULOUS
UNTIL WE'RE ALL TOTALLY SICK OF IT AND WANT TO DIE
KIND OF LIKE THE ONION

%
,==. HALO 2 SUBTITLE CHOOSING CONTEST FOLKS !!! CHECK ONE
\\//
.-~~-. [ ] STILL CAN'T CHECK YOUR SIX EASILY
,",-""-.".
| | | | [ ] PLEASE PLEASE DON'T THROW AWAY YOUR USELESS XBOX
| | .-"| |.
". `,",-" ,'.". [ ] NOW DOWN TO ONLY FIVE YEARS BETWEEN THE XBOX
`| |_,-' | | RELEASE AND THE PC PORT
| | | |
". `-._,-' ." [ ] YES MORE ENDLESSLY REPETITIVE LEVELS BECAUSE
hjw `-.___,-' WE'RE TOO LAZY TO HIRE ACTUAL LEVEL DESIGNERS
%
.--.
(._=.\
`- - j) WHY CAN'T WOMEN UNDERSTAND WHY WE DIDN'T
\- / WANT TO GIVE THEM THE RIGHT TO VOTE ??????
._| |__
(/ \ THEY'LL JUST VOTE FOR WHOEVER'S CUTEST,
(_ (. j \ BEST DRESSED, ETC. ANYWAY
.__)| " /\, \
//, _/ , (_/ /
/" / ('
\ \___\/ \\`
\ | \| |^,
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`-'
%
_ _ FRENCH: ENGLISH:
__// |___. JOUET BE IT EVER SO
|'_ '--' _ | POUR HUMBLE THERE'S
`(_)----(_)'= CHATS NO PLACE LIKE METHLAB
%
_ ,-, _
,--, /: :\/': :`\/: :\
|`; ' `,' `.; `: | MY FIST IS
| | | ' | |. DEROGATORY TO WOMEN
| : | | pb | ||
| :. | : | : | : | \
\__/: :.. : :.. | :.. | )
`---',\___/,\___/ /'
`==._ .. . /'
`-::-'
%
, .
( )
\ / SORRY !!!! I ONLY SWING ONE WAY: THE BUTT
\. ./
\\ //
\\ //
\`-'/ CJ
`-'
%
.---.
/ /"\ \ WHAT IS IT ABOUT LIZ PHAIR THAT
)/a a$ MAKES ME UNABLE TO DECIDE
( ( - ) ) WHETHER I SHOULD BEAT HER OR
)_) (_( BEAT OFF TO HER
.'\ /'.
/,(_\ /_),\
\\ \ ^ / //
\\/ \//
(/-._.-$
| T |
| | |
\ | /
\ | /
jgs )|(
/ | \
`-`-'
%
_"_ %
(< ? IF I WERE A WOMAN I COULD FLASH MY BOOBS
` " AND AUTOMATICALLY GET WHATEVER I WANTED !!!!
__||___
|\___//_\ BUT THEN AGAIN THAT ALSO MEANS I'D HAVE TO
(' | ') \\ RETAIN IN-DEPTH KNOWLEDGE OF MAKEUP WHICH
__|\ , / |/ WOULD PUSH OUT OTHER IMPORTANT KNOWLEDGE
/: / \ :: SUCH AS MATH, SCIENCE
\| ######o /|
######## \)
########
\ : / HELL WALKING IN HIGH HEELS TAKES UP 25%
\: / OF A WOMAN'S BRAIN POWER ALL BY ITSELF
--
%%%
%%
%
/:\
|/|, b'ger
%
. .-.
/ / ./
_ __, .--' / <
~_-~ / < < \_ .-~7
_. \ > \.-'\ >` ~ .-~
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/_/ ! \ .-L \ _// <'~
~ .-~ ! ! /o& `' . 7
_>_._ > _.-' '-._.-._.--./
'-~ ~._/
,-.-'
< MY BONER KNOWS NO NATIONAL BOUNDARIES
\
7 .. .
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) > o < > \ \_.--._
/ .-' <> \ \ 7 . '
7 > . - ' > _\ ! _,-' `.
~--,.--' ._ /.- ~` < \ . \
7/ ~ \.,< . ` `-~-.-~
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%
| WHY DOESN'T SLASHDOT JUST MARRY JON STEWART
-+- _ AND GET IT OVER WITH
_|_ {@} _|=|_
/___\ /(")\ (")
.---'-'---. /((~))\/<x>\ _ .-.
/___________\ ~~/@\~~\|_|/ <v> ((_))
| A /^\ A | / \ ||| ((_)) '-'
| |"| | /~@~@~\ ||| '-'
ldb_|___|_|___|_____/_______\|||________________________
%
.-"""--..__
|| |""--.._""--..__.__
|| | """--.._"""-..__
|| | """--.._""--..__
|| | """--__ `.
|| | ".| AMERICA SHOULD MIND ITS OWN
|| | || BUSINESS IN WORLD AFFAIRS
|| | || EXCEPT WHEN BAD THINGS HAPPEN
|| | || AROUND THE WORLD AND THEN IT'S
|| | || THEIR *DUTY* TO HELP !!!!!!!!
|| | ||
|| | ||
|| | ||
|| | || AMERICA SUCKS !!!!!!!!!
|| | ||
|| | || TAP TAP TAP ON MY LAPTOP
|| | ______________ || AT A CAFE IN SEATTLE
|| | |__|__|__|__|__| || ON A TUESDAY AFTERNOON
|| | _________________||
|| `"""""""""""""" _______|_________________
||______.......-------""""""" ______......------""""""|
| """"""---------"""""" """ _____-----`
`"""-----______ | _____.....-----"""""
grp """""""""
%
_..--.---.._
,' : '.
.' ; '. HOW COME NOBODY'S HACKING ROGER
,' : \ EBERT'S SIDEKICK TO GET HIS
/ .''^''. \ REVIEWS BEFORE THEY'RE
.' .-`` ``-. \ PUBLISHED IN THE SUN-TIMES ????
,-` ',--.._ _..--.' `.
/ / `. (O)/ $O) .' \ '.
( .' )/'.`--`( )`--` .\( '. )
\/ .'.' ) '. .--. .' .' '. '.\/
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%
/T /I
/ |/ | .-~/
T\ Y I |/ / _
/T | \I | I Y.-~/
I l /I T\ | | l | T /
T\ | \ Y l /T | \I l \ ` l Y SO THIS IS OUR LEGACY
__ | \l \l \I l __l l \ ` _. |
\ ~-l `\ `\ \ \\ ~\ \ `. .-~ | IN SUBSPACE THEY CANNOT
\ ~-. "-. ` \ ^._ ^. "-. / \ | USE THEIR SHIELDS
.--~-._ ~- ` _ ~-_.-"-." ._ /._ ." ./
>--. ~-. ._ ~>-" "\\ 7 7 ] AND INTO SUBSPACE
^.___~"--._ ~-{ .-~ . `\ Y . / | THEY CAN BE TRACKED
<__ ~"-. ~ /_/ \ \I Y : |
^-.__ ~(_/ \ >._: | l______
^--.,___.-~" /_/ ! `-.~"--l_ / ~"-.
(_/ . ~( /' "~"--,Y -=b-. _)
(_/ . \ : / l c"~o \
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%
,-^-_
`>. / _ `-'> WHY DOES THE HOME IMPROVEMENT GUY HOST
/ |,' / ^-_/' FAMILY FEUD NOW
| |__--.
| *|(@)/
\_/--/ .:===:.
<^-_ |//#####\\
\ ||##._.##||
\ \ ,' \#|| THE FAT ONE NOT THE COKE HEAD
^-_^--\ |//
\^--^ //
FRM ':===:'
%
_______
/#######\ "A TURDUCKEN IS A TURKEY STUFFED WITH
| ^ ^ | A DUCK STUFFED WITH A CHICKEN," SAID
[| O O |] THE PEDOPHILE PRIEST BEFORE HE LOOKED
| | | UP MY ADDRESS ON THE INTERNET OR
\ \___/ / CHECKED OUT A CD-ROM FROM THE COUNTY
\_____/ CLERK'S OFFICE TO FIND MY HOME ADDRESS
AND (HOPEFULLY) MARKET PRODUCTS TO ME
%
I I I I I I
I I I I I I
I I I I
I I @ ******************
I ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~\ *
I i I *
I i < I *
I i _________________/ *
< I i I ******************
I i I
I _H_ I
I I BUSTED AGAIN FOR
I I I I I I I I I I I I SOLICITATION IN
I I / I I FROGTOWN, DORIS
I I / I I CONSIDERED GOING BACK
I I I I TO HER OLD LIFE AS A
I I I I BLOGGER... EVEN THOUGH
I I I I SHE FOUND PEOPLE NOW
I I \ I I RESPECTED HER MORE
I I \ I I AS A TOTAL COCKSUCKER
\-/\-/ VVV \-/\-/
%
,,==="""""""===,, WHY DOES THE .CA TOP LEVEL DOMAIN
,==""' |\ | /\ `""==, HAVE TO STAND FOR CANADA
,="'|\ | \| /__\ /\ `"=, WHY CAN'T IT STAND FOR
/" |,"\ | | /' `\ / ) "\ CALIFORNIA OR WASHINGTON
/" ," | `\/ /| "\ OR RHODE ISLAND OR
/' | , /",| `\ THE FEDERATED STATES
/' ",/" | `\ OF MICRONESIA OR SOME
/' I=I=I ,d8ba,___ `\ MORE IMPORTANT PLACE
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_-' | Y$$P | AND WIN A PRIZE
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I CALL IT SPECULATIVE FICTION !!!!!!!! I'M A FUTURIST !!!!!!!
ALSO GETTING INTO FIST FIGHTS BECAUSE I'M SHORT

AND SUING JAMES CAMERON BECAUSE I'M PETTY
%
_______________
|,----------. |\ SOMEONE STUFF THAT OXYCLEAN GUY WITH DICK
|| |=| |
|| || | |
|| . _o| | | __
Ojo |`-----------' |/ /~/
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ / /
~~
%
__________________________________
| |\ MAN THAT TSUNAMI DEATH TOLL
| | \ IS SURE TRYING TO GET HIGH
| _ _ _ | | SCORE
\`-.__,-'\`-.__,-'\`-.__,-'\`-.__,-'\|
\_ \_ \_ \_ \ WILL IT ROLL OVER SOON ?!?!?!?
`-.__,-' `-.__,-' `-.__,-' `-.__,-'
_ _ _ _
|\`-.__,-'\`-.__,-'\`-.__,-'\`-.__,-'\
| \_ \_ \_ \_ \ DO YOU KIDS EVEN KNOW WHAT THAT
| | `-.__,-'|`-.__,-'|`-.__,-'|`-.__,-| MEANS
\| | | | |
|_________|________|________|_______| drx
%
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/ \ CALM DOWN OFFICER
/* \
/. : *\ SHUT UP AND LISTEN TO ME YOU DUMB PIG
/_ . ._\
/ * \ ALL I SAID WAS WE SHOULD THROW THEM
/ . . \ TO THE LIONS AND CALL IT XMAS FROM NOW
/ * . . *\ ON
/ . * . : \
/ : * * . \ GEEZE YOU'D THINK I LICKED YOUR DICK
/ . * . : \ AND CALLED IT CHRISTMAS
/___ : . * ___\
/ : . : . \ MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!!!!!!! DISGUSTING
/ . : . *\ SLOPPY BLOWJOBS ON PRIMETIME ABC, CBS,
/* . : . .\ NBC AND SOMETIMES EVEN PBS (WHEN
/. * . * : .\ PRESENTED ARTFULLY)
/. : . : . * . \
/_____________________\ ANYWAY WE COULD GAS THEM TOO
|___|
%
_.====.._
,:._ ~-_
`\ ~-_
| _ _ | `.
,/ /_)/ | | ~-_
-..__..-'' \_ \_\ `_ ~~--..__...----...
THE PATRIOT ACT IS WEAKENING OUR

DEFENSES AGAINST TSUNAMIS
%
'! !'
'\).-.(/'
.) o o (. FROM: BONO
n (o) n'
.-@ =-= @-. TO: PRESIDENT GEORGE W. BUSH
/ .'=._.='. \
.-' '-.".-' '-.
)_ /-._,6,_.-\ _(
'. /. " .\ .'
'"' ; ; '"'
'. .'
6: :6 PLZ SEND SOAP AND SHAMPOO,
: :
'. .' THX !!!!!!!!
: :
'. .'
! !
:
: .-.
! ' ;
'
; "
'. .'
"^Y$bpgd$P^"
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/ \
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( !!
b''-_ POOR MARK JEN !!!!!!!!
|d-="
b|
|d DON'T LET THE DOOR HIT YOUR ASS
o | ON YOUR WAY OUT FUCKFACE
/ o
/ o d
/O o o\
/ bd b \
* |d | \
ejm96 o| | \
|| | \
'' ' '
%
_
.-'`,;
/_.-' ( EVERY TIME A BELL RINGS I'M KILLING 100 MILLION SPERM
`-. #\
\_ /
`\\
\\ (ATTA BOY, CLARENCE)
jgs \\
\)
%
_/
HEY IS IT JUST ME OR IS _,_/_
KIRSTIE ALLEY KIND OF FAT NOW (/ < \)
_/|\_
(/ | \)
\)
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\\_`/,_,_ _\,_ _/ _/ /_/ \\_`/,_,__\,_ _/ _/
|\_/\,_| ` )=| |=( |\_/\,_| )=| |=(
/\_/ \_| \-| |-/ /\_/ \_| \-| |-/
\ ) < ) < / \ > \ ) < ) < / \ >
\\ \\ \| |/ \\ \\ \| |/
\\_ \\_ /| |\_ \\_ \\_ /| |\_
mic ),_\ )_\ /_( )_\ ),_\ )_\ /_( )_\
%
___
/ \
\ //
| |___________________________________
| |$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$|
| |$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$|
| |$$$$$$$$$`-<M='M{}M`=M>-'$$$$$$$$$|
| |$$$$$$$$$`--+MM)MM(MM+--'$$$$$$$$$|
| |$$$$$$$$$`--+MMMMMMMM+--'$$$$$$$$$|
| |$$$$$$$$$`-->MMMMMMMM<--'$$$$$$$$$|
| |$$$$$$$$$`--'$/MMMM\$`--'$$$$$$$$$|
| |$$$$$$$$$$>-'/'/MM\\`\-<$$$$$$$$$$|
| |$$$$$$$$$$$'$$''AA``$$`$$$$$$$$$$$|
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| |$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$|
| |$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$|
| |"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""
| |
| | ALBANIA
| |
| | ALBANIA
| |
| | YOU BORDER ON THE ADRIATIC
| |
| | YOUR LANDS ARE MOSTLY MOUNTAINOUS
| |
| | AND YOUR CHIEF EXPORT IS CHROME
| |
| |
| |
| |
| |
| | MT
%
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?????????? %######** MOTHERFUCKING **??????: ##########
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%
/|_/|
| -.-| TOADS ARE NOT ENOUGH ROUGHAGE
\ ^/ SAID OUR HERO AS HE STRAINED
/ | TO PASS THE DIGESTED REMAINS OF
(\ / | HIS ONLY FRIEND
\\ / |||
================
| |
VK \____________/
%
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:: _ ;;
`:_|_;'
!
ctf
%
________________
| |," `.| | 15. THEY DON'T COMPLAIN WHEN YOU LOAN THEM
| / SONY \ | TO YOUR FRIEND TO PLAY WITH BECAUSE YOU'RE
| | | | SICK OF BEATING THEM
|O _\ /> /_ | ___ _
|_(_)'.____.'(_)_| (")__(")
SgH [___|[=]__[=]|___] // \\
%
(o_ WHY EVEN HAVE ZOOS ????? CAN'T WE JUST
(o_ //\ KILL THE CHICKS AND REPLACE THEM WITH
(/)_ V_/_ ENDLESS TECHNO !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
%
.---------------. LOOK MISTER WE'VE BEEN OVER THIS AND
|.-----------. | WE'VE BEEN OVER THIS
|| |()|
|| |oo| I'D LIKE TO HELP YOU BUT I CAN'T: I'M
|'-----------' | A MICROWAVE AND I'VE GOT NO CUNT
"""""""""""""""
%
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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~YKWmmWmmW@~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
PLEASE SIGN THE GUESTBOOK ON MY GEOCITIES'

LISA "LEFT EYE" LOPES MEMORIAL PAGE
%
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| / `-.-'
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) ) I THINK WOMEN SHOULD HAVE THE
/ -' ABSOLUTE RIGHT TO CONTROL
: / THEIR BODIES BUT PROSTITUTION
` | SHOULD BE ILLEGAL BECAUSE IT'S
\ | EXPLOITATIVE AND NO I REALLY
\ | HAVEN'T THOUGHT THIS ONE OUT
) ) ALL THE WAY THROUGH TO THE END
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I'M A CUNT
/
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___
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| | | | |/\/ // \| | / \ \ |/ |/
|-| |-| /|/| |/ |\ |__| \__| _/ |/ |
'-' '-' [_[_/ /| '=' /:( ):\ (_,(__,]
'= '-' '-'
I ALWAYS MIX UP MEL C AND MEL B !!!!!!
WHICH IS THE ONE THAT'S TIED UP IN MY CLOSET AGAIN ??????

%
/mmmm\
C o o D
| o |
| _ / WHO AM I ???
|_u_| ___
|_u_| / \ I'M SPIDER-MAN !!!!
|_u_| | |
| | | |
/ | \ | |
( )Y( )__/ /
.__-----__.__/
%
,v-,
<j._ ,vd T ALL WOMEN FROM SPAIN
) "\ j L ARE HAIRY DYKE FLAKE
`---' d . FRIGID BITCHES
_A_ / ("; \
_A_ /"\ _d _A_, \,
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THE ROBERT BLAKE I CAME TO KNOW AND TRUST
FROM MONEY TRAIN WOULD NEVER HURT ANYONE
/
.
tQn
%
| :|
| |
| .| I TEST-DROVE THE NEW 2005
____| .| FORD CUNT AND I'VE GOT TO
.' . ). ,' SAY IT WAS--
.' c '7 ) (
_.-" |.' `. WHAT
.' "8E :|
| _}"" :| OH SHIT OKAY SORRY
| ( | |
.' ) | :|
.odCG8o_.---.__8E | .|
`Y8MMP"" "" `-...-'
%
_.-"""-._ _.-"""-._
/ (#\ \_/ (#\ \ I'M NOT IN A RUSH TO MAKE A GAG ABOUT
: \#) |NNn. \#) : THE TERRI SCHIAVO CASE BECAUSE HELL
\ /N(#\N\ / IT'LL STILL BE FUNNY AFTER SHE DIES
"-.___.-nNNN\#)N|_.-"
\NNNNNNNNN/
"*NNNNN*"
F_P "
%
HEY EVERYONE !!!! IT'S NEWS THAT YOU CAN
GET FIRED FROM YOUR JOB FOR RUNNING OFF
YOUR FAT FUCKING MOUTH
WHAT WE NEED HERE IS A CAREFUL AND CLEAR

||||| EMPLOYEE POLICY ON BLOGGING !!!!!!
||O O|`____. BLOOGERS RIGHTS EVERYONE !!!!!!!
|||\-/|| \ __\
|.--:--| . : OH WAIT ALL COMPANIES ALREADY *DO* HAVE A
/( ):( |_.-~~_. BLOGGING POLICY AND IT IS: DO IT AND
(~m : / | oo:| YOU'LL GET FIRED YOU DUMB BITCH
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ VK+a:f
IT'S ALMOST AS IF, AS A BLOGGER, I AM
FUNDAMENTALLY INCAPABLE OF FIGURING THIS
OUT EVEN GIVEN AMPLE EVIDENCE
SORRY I'M CONFUSED ABOUT HOW I CAN BE

HELD RESPONSIBLE FOR THE THINGS I SAY IN
A PUBLIC FORUM
NO I CANNOT COMPREHEND HOW THE AVAILABILITY

OF BLOGS ALSO INCREASES THE EASE WITH WHICH
MY COMPANY CAN SEARCH FOR ME SAYING STUPID
THINGS I SHOULDN'T BE SAYING ABOUT IT
DON'T YOU REALIZE I'M FIGHTING FOR *YOUR*

FREEDOM AND PUTTING MY LIVELIHOOD ON THE
LINE BY TALKING ABOUT HOW MY WORKMATE'S FAT
AND MY BOSS IS A JERK AND VIOLATING MY
NON-DISCLOSURE AGREEMENTS WILLINGLY
YES MR. SECURITY GUARD I'LL PUT MY STUFF IN

THE CARDBOARD BOX NOW AND BE ESCORTED OUT
%
__
/
-==/-
| |
| ./| THIS CAREFULLY STACKED PYRAMID OF EMPTY MOUNTAIN DEW
| ./ | CANS BOTH CONCRETELY AND ABSTRACTLY SYMBOLIZES MY
|/ \ | TOTAL INABILITY TO BE LOVED OR EVEN SLIGHTLY TOLERATED
| \<>|
|/<>' |
|\/ ./|
| ./ |
|/ |
| |
| | ko1
`-,,,-'
%
__
/o \_____
\__/-="="`
__
/ o\ FOLKS I THINK THE SOLUTION TO ALL THESE MD5 AND SHA1
\_ / ETC. EXPLOITS IS THAT WE SHOULD ALL JUST AGREE TO
<| STOP TRYING TO HACK THEM SO THEY'LL STAY GOOD FOREVER
<|
jgs <| AGREED ?!?!?!?!
`
%
nnnmmm
\||\ ;;;;%%%@@@@@@ \ //,
V|/ %;;%%%%%@@@@@@@@@@ ===Y//
68=== ;;;;%%%%%%@@@@@@@@@@@@ @Y
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`; ___ _ @
`;. ,====\\=. .;'
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`;===== WT
===
DON'T PANIC !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
YOU'RE GOING TO FUCKING DIE ANYWAY LIKE THAT

NO-TALENT COMMIE JIZZPOT DOUGLAS ADAMS
%
______
( _____ )
/ / - - \ \ WHY DOES TAYLOR HAYES SOUND LIKE SHE'S HUMMING
| |-O-O-| | A LITTLE TUNE WHEN SHE'S GETTING JIZZED ON
|( () )|
| \ \_/ / |
/ --- \
(___) (___)
%
oooOOOOOOOOOOO" Chuckles
o ____ :::::::::::::::::: :::::::::::::::::: __|-----|__
Y_,_|[]| --++++++ |[][][][][][][][]| |[][][][][][][][]| | [] [] |
{|_|_|__|;|______|;|________________|;|________________|;|_________|;
/oo--OO oo oo oo oo oo oo oo oo oo oo oo oo
+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+
EVERYBODY WHO DOESN'T WORSHIP JESUS ONTO THE TRAIN
YOU TOO COCKSUCKERS, GYPSIES, QA ENGINEERS

%
_"_ % YOU CAN'T RAPE A SLUT
(< ?
` " SORRY IT'S JUST A LAW OF NATURE, LIKE GRAVITY
__||___
|\___//_\ OKAY WELL MAYBE I SUPPOSE YOU COULD RAPE
(' | ') \\ ONE IF IT WAS ASLEEP BUT THAT'S GETTING PRETTY
__|\ , / |/ ACADEMIC, NO JURY WOULD EVER CONVICT
/: / \ ::
\| ######o /| OR MAYBE IF THEY WERE NORMAL SLUTS BUT DIDN'T
######## \) TAKE IT IN THE POOPER YEAH I GUESS THAT WOULD
######## BE ANOTHER EXAMPLE MR. BRINGDOWN
\ : /
\: / THIS IS A LOT THE IF A TREE FALLS IN THE FOREST
-- THING
%%%
%% ONLY WITH SLUTS AND MAYBE RAPE
%
/:\
|/|, b'ger
%
. . CARBON STARS WITH ANCIENT SATELLITES COLONIZED
+ : . BY SENTIENT FUNGI ....
: _
. ! ' (_) GAS GIANTS INHABITED BY VAST METEOROLOGICAL
,|.' INTELLIGENCES .......
- -- ---(-O-`--- -- -
,`|'`. WORLDS STRETCHED THIN ACROSS THE MEMBRANES
, ! . WHERE THE DIMENSIONS INTERSECT .......
: : "
. --+-- ..... IMPOSSIBLE TO DESCRIBE WITH OUR
.: O!o . ! LIMITED VOCABULARY
%
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'
%
_
__..--''/\ COULD SOMEONE TEACH EUROPEANS TO
_..-''_.\`| / \ CAPITALIZE ACRONYMS (VIA BEATINGS)
\`-._ `.-'_ / \
\ ``-.(|\)`._ \
\ ,' `-._\
\ / _..--''
\/_..-'' SSt
%
________________
/ o /| I'M A FEDERAL AGENT IN THE WAR ON POO
/_______________/o|
| o | | YOU KNOW JUST LIKE ELVIS
| o | /
ejm |________________|/
%
. LISTEN CAREFULLY, THIS
. . IS ALL I'M SAYING:
_________________________
. . THIS STUFF IS NOT REGULAR BACON
. .
. . IT'S ANAL BACON
. .
<O> <O> SO YOU HAVE TO BE CAREFUL WITH IT
%
____ 3
., _ ' `_ _______
--+-[---------.---(-)-----(@)----|-------|--.-----|-------------.----
| ] | |~ |~ (@) _ | | |} |
--+-[-----|---+---|-------|--|--(@)---------+-----|----------|}-+---|
|/ | | | | | |~ (@) _ | | _| .. | | |
--Y-------|---+---|-------|--|--|---|---(@)-+-|>( )------|---|--+---|
/|_ _| | `=_| | | |~ | ~ |>(@) | _|
|-@-)---(@)---+-----------------|---|---|---+-------------------+-(@)
\_|/ ~ | | | | | ~
--+-----------"-------------------------|---"-------------------"----
| jw
._} THAT FREECREDITREPORT.COM JINGLE IS REALLY CATCHY
%
|
'`---..___ . :
``---.._| ' THERE'S LIFE ON MARS !!!!
:`'--..___ | VIKING PROVED IT !!!!!!
| . ---..._ :
| .' `. |---. WHY ARE WE STILL DEBATING THIS ????
' / _.\|(O)|
| ' .-' =| :
| | .(b /@)() | THE REPUBLICANS WANT TO GO TO MARS SO THEY
| \_\_/ `-. | CAN COMMIT CRIMES AGAINST LIFE ITSELF BY
: ) -` --' EXPLOITING A WORLD THAT SHOULD BE LEFT TO
| .'---,_ `-'| | THE MARTIANS NO MATTER HOW MICROBIAL OR
| / / )`--' | | NONEXISTENT THEY MAY THEORETICALLY BE
| .' ( \__.. : '
'/____ _ _`.____))| | SIGNED, A 5 YEAR OLD BOY WHO SHOULDN'T
|_] [_] | | | HAVE OPENED HIS FUCKING YAP IN THE FIRST PLACE
:\ ,' / | :
|_`--- / ._ ,' `--' |
LGB \__\___) |
``---...._|
%
_
,'-`. WHEN IN DOUBT, UNF
:_ _:
..._ \ _ / _.,,
`-.>. _,-`-'-._ ,<,-'
: \ / _ `./ ;
\ ` '_) / UNCOMFORTABLE SILENCE ON A FIRST DATE ???
\ ,| (_, |. / UNF UNF UNF
`' | . | `'
:_______: YOUR BOSS IS UNSATISFIED WITH YOUR PERFORMANCE
| | AT THE JOB AND NEEDS TO HAVE A TALK WITH YOU
| | ABOUT YOUR FUTURE AT THE COMPANY !!??! UNF UNF UNF
| . |
| | | SHE THINKS IT MIGHT BE MY CHILD ?!?!?? UNF UNF UNF
| | |
| | | THEY FOUND YOUR DNA AND FINGERPRINTS AT THE
| | | CRIME SCENE ??!!?!? UNF UNF UNF UNF (AN EXTRA UNF)
|___:___|
/___/___\ SSt
%
____________
/____ ___/\
\ \_/ /___\ \ WHEN I BEAT OFF I HAVE TO TAKE A NAP
/ //___/ / / (I.E., I WOULD NOT SURVIVE IN THE WILD)
\/__________\/
/<> /\__//~|/\
/___/ / /___/ \
\ \/__\ \ \
\ `--` \ \
\ \ \
\ MINTY \ \
\ WAXED ! \ /
\___________\/
%
,
(`. : \ __..----..__
`.`.| |: _,-':::''' ' `:`-._ I REJECT THE FOUNDING
`.:\|| _,':::::' `::::`-. PRINCIPLES AND
\\`| _,':::::::' `:. `':::`. PRECEPTS OF THE
;` `-'' `::::::. `::\ BETA AQUILAE
,-' .::' `:::::. `::.. `:\ CONVENTION
,' /_) -. `::. `:. |
,'.: ` `:. `:. .::. \
__,-' ___,..-''-. `:. `. /::::. |
|):'_,--' `. `::.. |::::::. ::\
`-' |`--.:_::::|_____\::::::::.__ ::|
| _/|::::| \::::::|::/\ :|
/:./ |:::/ \__:::):/ \ :\
,'::' /:::| ,'::::/_/ `. ``-.__
jrei '''' (//|/\ ,';':,-' `-.__ `'--..__
`''---::::'
%
/| __
/ | ,-~ /
Y :| // /
| jj /( .^
>-"~"-v"
/ Y
jo o | YOU NEED HIGH HEELS
( ~T~ j
>._-' _./ AND A HANDBAG
/ "~" |
Y _, | BITCH
/| ;-"~ _ l
/ l/ ,-"~ \
\//\/ .- \
Y / Y*
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]\ _\ /"\
(" ~----( ~ Y. )
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
%
______________________ Q
| | ___|\_.-,
| FOOL ME ONCE, S\ Q~\___ \|
| SHAME ON YOU |( )o 5) Q
| |\\ \_ ()
| FOOL ME TWICE, | \'. _'/'.
| NOW THAT'S AMORE .-. '-( x< \
| ,o /\, '. ) /'\\
|______ \'.__.----/ .'\ '.-'/ \\
snd '---'q__/.'__ ; / \\_
%
HHHHHH HHHHHH IIIIII (PAID ANNOUNCEMENT)
HHHH HHHH IIII JUST NINE DOLLARS A
HHHH HHHH IIII MONTH CAN FEED A HUNGRY
HHHH HHHH IIII SEX OFFENDER FOR ONE
HHHHHHHHHHHHHH IIII WEEK
HHHHHHHHHHHHHH IIII
HHHHHHHHHHHHHH IIII WON'T YOU HELP THE COLD
HHHH HHHH IIII AND HUNGRY CHILD MOLESTERS
HHHH HHHH IIII WHO HAVE NOWHERE ELSE TO GO
HHHH HHHH IIII
HHHHHH HHHHHH IIIIII SIGN HERE AND HERE AND INITIAL HERE
%
o#######o
o###########o SERIOUSLY IF LEONARD SHELBY HAD A TREO
o#############o HE COULD HAVE GOTTEN BY MUCH MORE EASILY
#################
###### \########o
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%
.--.--.--.--.
/ / / / |\ NEXT PERSON WHO SAYS "LOW CARB"
/ / / / / \ GETS A FIST UP THE ASS
| |> /
| | /
| /
| /
| __ .'
/ .'
/ /
/ /
/ '
/ /
/ /
/ /
' /
/
%
__.
/-7 k
.-' o.-'/ I'VE LOST ALMOST 3 GRAMS ON THE SLIM-FAST PLAN
/ .; \
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\ [.---.
;/ \ )
\ (/
) | AsH
/ \ (
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____
;----""(#) GOOD THING I DON'T HAVE TO LIVE ON A DIET OF
'--|-|'|' FRUITFLIES BECAUSE THEY'RE JUST TOO GODDAMN FAST
ltb / | \
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_-__\ |)/ ,____ _={"-;} THAT LOOKED LIKE A BUTT PLUG
/ `-_ ,-_ | ---__| ~~~
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à:f====================================================================='
I DON'T KNOW WHY YOU SAY THAT GAYS ARE PROMISCUOUS I MEAN
THERE'S NO REASON THAT HOMOSEXUALS WOULD BE ANY MORE
INHERENTLY PROMISCUOUS THAN HETEROSEXUALS !!!!!
WELP OFF TO THE BATH HOUSE

%
,.
|`:.
| `:.
m1a | |`.`:;@.
| |;.`.`;| HUGE BITKEEPER CONTROVERSY PEOPLE !!!!!!
; `.';| ||
,(`;.`.| || DISSENTION IN THE RANKS OF THE OPEN SOURCE
/8o (`:. || COMMUNITY !!!!!
/o8888o `; ||
/@o8888888o (`;| WILL THIS FRACTURE THE TENUOUS STRANDS THAT
(`.()oO888888o (< BIND THESE IDEOLOGICAL CREATURES TOGETHER OR
`.`.;:oO08c{)/ | WILL IT JUST SERVE TO DRIVE THEM APART ?!?!?!
`.`.(),0 / /
`.`.`/ / BLOGGING AND TRANSCRIBING EMAILS AND MAILING LIST
`.( / ARCHIVES !!!!!!!! HOT STUFF PEOPLE !!!!!
ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ GNU/BORING
%
___ IS THE NEW POPE'S NEXT STEP TO GET HIMSELF
/ (`\\ DECLARED CHANCELLOR AND DISSOLVE THE REICHSTAG
c` 9\9
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/\===\|_/===\
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.-.
(/^\) OKAY PLAYING HALF-LIFE 2 AT 1600X1200 WITH 4X HARDWARE
(\ /) ANTIALIASING I CAN TOTALLY TELL THAT ALYX LIKES ME MORE
.-'-.
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(((( - ))) ONCE YOU DIP YOUR DICK INTO ANY PARTICULAR WOMAN
((|)_*_/((( MORE THAN A FEW TIMES YOU COME TO REALIZE THERE'S
))(/) (\((|) NOTHING BUT BROKEN SHIT IN THERE AND DECIDE
((((\___/))(\ TO MOVE ON TO THE NEXT ONE
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/`HHHHHHb JULIA CHANNEL ??!?!? CHECK
> `dHHHHH
/ dHHHHHHb IN A VIDEO STRIP POKER GAME !??!!?? CHECK
: HHHHHHHH
.-""FHHHHHHH WHERE SHE PLAYS REALLY BADLY ?!?!?! CHECK
| JHHHHHHH
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+ \ JHHHHHHH WAIT IN GERMAN ?!??!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?
.' \ FHHHHHH+_ FULL FUCKING STOP
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`| _> \HHF+_ \ FOLKS THE GERMAN LANGUAGE IS THE
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IF I ROLL THIS BALL AROUND SOME MORE AND CONTINUE

TO PICK UP MORE SHIT WILL THIS GAME EVENTUALLY BECOME FUN
%
.-._.--._
/ /
-. |
\ |__
,-'______.-' WHEN THE WORLD ENDS I'M FINDING MICHAEL MOORE
'( c-(_)(_)__ BECAUSE I BET HE'LL MAKE A GOOD LIFE RAFT
\ .._ . ) WITH TRAINING
\ / `-'
/\-|\_
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| / =====_/
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%
o
o | o I AM THE ALL-SEEING ALL-KNOWING COUGH
\\ ||| // COUGH COUGH COUGH HOLD ON
\ \ | / /
/ \ / \ / \ COUGH COUGH WAIT A MINUTE COUGH
--= o =--
\ / \ / \ / OH BOY COUGH COUGH COUGH IT HURTS
/ / | \ \
// ||| \\ HOLD ON I'M ALMOST COUGH COUGH
o | o
o SORRY WOW WHAT A NIGHT OKAY LET'S START FROM THE TOP
%
_.ooo._
,dMP"""QMb. WE'RE MORONS
|vP' _..._ 'Qv|
,d|`." ".'|b.
CM| |MD
`Q|---. ,---|P'
\`---'_'---'/
`. ._. ,'
`-._.-' M-K
%
!
||
!|
| \ _
| \ /~ ~\
\ \_ /<- ->\ GAY PEOPLE WOULDN'T GET BASHED SO HARD
\ \_\.O.|\\ IF THEY DIDN'T DO THINGS THAT WERE SO GROSS
\ ' /__"
| \ I MEAN COME ON PEOPLE IT'S COMMON SENSE
\ ' . \ \
\ /) > IF THEY JUST SOLD SHOESHINES AND FOUGHT FIRES
\ , | / NO ONE WOULD HAVE A PROBLEM WITH THEM
| \__/ <
> /o |)
/ T /
/ | /
/ | . /
\/ \/ \
\ \ \
\ \ \
\ > \
/^ / ^\
^^^~ ~~~mOm
%
_,,,_
.' `'.
/ ____ \ FOLKS YOU CAN PLAN TO FAIL OR
| .'_ _\/ YOU CAN FAIL TO GIVE HER A SLAP
/ ) a a| WITH THE BACK OF YOUR HAND
/ ( > |
( ) ._ /
) _/-.__.'`\
( .-'`-. \__ )
`/ `-./ `.
| \ \ \
jgs | \ \ \ \
|\ `. / / \
%
..... TO WHOM IT MAY CONCERN,
.:::::::::. THIS IS A MESSAGE TO THE EDITORS
.::::::::::::::. OF THE NEW YORKER MAGAZINE
::::::::::::::::::
:::::::::::::::::::: I'M WRITING TO APOLOGIZE FOR MY
:::::::::::::::::::::: FATHER'S BEHAVIOR ("HENRY," THE
:::::::::::::::::::::: HORRIBLY MISSHAPEN CUBE) WHO HAD
:::::::::::::::::::::: BEEN HARASSING YOUR EDITORIAL STAFF
:::::::::::::::::::: OVER THE YEARS
::::::::::::::::::
`::::::::::::::' AS YOU KNOW HIS PAROLE DATE IS COMING
`:::::::::' UP AND A POSITIVE MESSAGE FROM YOU WOULD
````` GO A LONG WAY TOWARDS HIS RELEASE
%
.---.
/ _\ BLOGGABLES ??? THE BLOGOSPHERE ??? BLOGOMATIC ???
/ (={) SIMULBLOGCAST ??? ECOBLOGS ??? METABLOGS ??? BLOGS
/ /_/ OF BLOGS ??? MEDIABLOGS ??? CATABLOG ??? UBERBLOG ???
( |(_ BLOGSERVATION ??? RADIOBLOGS ??? BLOGSPIRATION ???
/\_.--'// \ BLOGS OF BLOGS TALKING ABOUT BLOGGING BLOGS ???
/L.|`--'( \ ,
/ /\_____`).J\____'==HH===HH
\ \ \ ` | \__..--."'
\ \._) ` \ ( YES, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN
\_/(`-..-'L ) THE FUTURE IS HERE
/ `\_( L\,--.' AND IT'S EVEN LAMER THAN
> --'`-- \\ (_) YOU EVER THOUGHT POSSIBLE
| | \ Y
|__/| \---'\
| | `. _)
\ ; ) |
)`)| | | Ojo
| | | |
| | |(o)
|(o) / \
/ | \(\_">
\(\_)
%
_.._ I LIKE SOFTWARE THAT'S
/ a\__, FREE AS IN SHUT THE FUCK UP
\ -.___/
\ \
(\____) \
|\_( ))
_____| (_ /________
_\____(______/__
gnv ______
%
___
/. `\ HEY ALL YOU GUYS WITH TONGUE PIERCINGS,
/ , ` | TONGUE STUDS, AND OTHER STUPID SHIT
/^\__/' PUNCHED THROUGH YOUR TONGUE
_,--~, /_
/' ~~~ -__ ~-, YOU COMPLETE FUCKING MORONS DO REALIZE
,/ , _ \ THAT THE REASON WOMEN GET THAT SHIT
/ |`-_ _ '_/%\ `\ IN THEIR FACE IS SO THEY CAN GIVE
/ |_, ~~ __/`\ \ BETTER HEAD RIGHT ?!?!?!?
,--~~"' / \ `--/ |, >
//^|~~---' ; , , | ' JUST CHECKING IF YOU UNDERSTOOD THAT
,'` , ( | / YOU HAVEN'T MADE QUITE SO MUCH A
,' `;;;,' \ ,' | BOLD FASHION STATEMENT OR SOLID
/ 77); `./||` DECLARATION OF YOUR UNIQUENESS IN
/ ,"^ \, , SOCIETY AS MUCH AS A PUBLIC CLAIM THAT
/ / \ , YOU REALLY LIKE TO SUCK DICK
( ,' \ |
\ `. \_- \ ADD TO THAT THE FACT THAT YOU WON'T BE
\ ; \ `, ABLE TO GET A JOB AT ANYPLACE OTHER
` ' \ | THAN A GAS STATION OR MAYBE A
\ ` \ ` MCDONALD'S AND THUS YOUR VICTORY
| ) `, `. OVER MOM AND DAD IS ASSURED
/ ' ,' )
mOm mooO' Ooom' P.S. I CAN'T UNDERSTAND YOU WITH ALL
THAT FUCKING CLANKING AND SMACKING
%
.---.
.--. ___/ \
/ `.-"" `-, ;
; / O O \ /
`. \ /-'
_ J-.__; _.'
(" / `. -=: VOTE VINICK
`: `, -=|
| F\ i, ; -|
| | | || \_J
fsc mmm! `mmM Mmm'
%
__
/'\ /\/\ WHAT YOU NEED IS A WIKI !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
/'/'\`/:::...\
|\`\ /::::::../
/`\|\`\:::::./
/'###`\|\`\::/\`\.
|\.### `\|\`\ /'/|
`\.\. /\`\|\`/' |
/.:\\. \\\\`\| /'
/' /.::\\. \/ / /'
`\ / / /\ \./'/'
`\ /' `\|/' THE ONLY THING LAMER THAN A BLOG
' MW
%
| ____.......__
|\ .' _.--""''`` ``''--._
| \ .'/ ..--'` .-'`
.._ | \.' / ..-'' .-'
'.`'"-: ' .-'` .-'
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_.-'` | /-. \ `-. \
| / `. \ wkm `.\
|/ `-\ `.
|
MAD IS THE CAPTAIN OF ALPHA CENTAURI

WE MUST BE OUT OF OUR MINDS
STILL WE ARE SHIPMATES, BOUND FOR TOMORROW
AND EVERYONE HERE'S FLYING BLIND
%
.-''-.
.` ::.'.
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(/ :(r :.'.\_./ DIG MY HOLE FOR ME
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%
THE VEGANS CALLED, SEND A HETEROSEXUAL NEXT TIME
______
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,`.
,'` | _.-.
,` | ,',' / THE INDIGENOUS PEOPLE OF EASTER ISLAND
: | ,',' ; DIED OUT DUE TO A LACK OF PORN
\ : / / /
\ `.' ( ,' SEE THEY WERE TOO FAR AWAY FROM THE MAINLAND
,'' _ `. TO GET RESUPPLIES AND THEY WERE TOO UGLY
,' (o_) `\ TO JUST MAKE THEIR OWN
. (,.) _.-- :
-..`/( .-'_..- `| AND THE STATUES ?!??! WELL UFOS DID THAT
.-'\,`. `-._ ; I MEAN IT WOULD TAKE TALENTED SMART PEOPLE
`._ /__ TO BUILD THOSE SO THERE YOU GO
,':)-.._ _.(:::`.
|'\ / /`:::|
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| | ; ,`._`-.|_ `.
| |' ,'._ `. `. |_\
| : /`-. `. `. `. :
: \ : __ `. `. `. \ ;
\ \ |. / `. \ \ / OH FUCK THIS IS JUST THE EASTER BUNNY
|\ `..: `. __ \ \ / THERE GOES MY HOPES FOR A DEGREE
' ` .:::::\ `. / \ \,' IN SOCIOCULTURAL ANTHROPOLOGY
.::::::::::-..'_..-' SSt
%
[ O ]
\ \ p HOW COME JOINT OPERATIONS: ESCALATION
\ \ \o/ DOESN'T HAVE TSUNAMIS
\ \--'---_
/\ \ / ~~\_
./---/__|=/_/------//~~~\
/___________________/O O \
(===(\_________(===(Oo o o O) W<
\~~~\____/ \---\Oo__o--
~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~\ ~///////~ ~/~~~~~
\ ~~~~~ ~~~~~~~ /~~~~/ ~~/ ~~~
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
IN THE BEGINNING THERE WAS ISAAC AND THE OTHER FUCKING ONE
%
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--..,___.--,--'`,---..-.--+--.,,-,,..._.--..-._.-a:f--.
PRETTY SURE GOD IS NOT WATCHING US
OR RATHER HE SOMETIMES DOES BUT MOST OF THE TIME HE'S

SLEEPING SO YOU CAN PRETTY MUCH GET AWAY WITH WHATEVER
YOU WANT
ALSO HE KIND OF LOVES YOU BUT SOMETIMES HE GETS ARBITRARILY

MAD AND MAKES GOOD PEOPLE SUFFER FOR NO REAL REASON SO DON'T
TRY TO FIGURE THAT ONE OUT EITHER
SO IN SUMMARY THERE IS A GOD BUT HIS INTEREST AND INVOLVEMENT

IS EXACTLY AS IF HE WEREN'T THERE AT ALL
HAPPY CHANNUKAH OR WHATEVER

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___
[_ ]
[do\ ] LAST TIME WE DID THIS I DIDN'T
\L// SHIT RIGHT FOR A MONTH
/XX\\
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\\ XXX N
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%
%%%%
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_%%%%%%%/ \% / , \
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) /\_/
/(___. \
'----' (
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---....____/ (_____ __ _ ___ ___ __ _ _ _____ _ _ ___
/ )---...___ =-= = -_= -=_= _-=_-_ -=- =-_
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``---....__) `-._-=_-_=-
)|)| `-._=-_
gnv '-'-.\_ `-.
TODAY IS THE FIRST DAY OF THE REST OF YOUR LIFE
WHAT A LOUSY FUCKING START

%
/\ __ MICHAEL MOORE *ATE* AMERICA
\ .-':::. AM I RIGHT FOLKS
\ :::::|\
|,\:::'/ \ GET IT I'M MAKING FUN OF HIM
`.:::-' \ BECAUSE HE HAS A WEIGHT PROBLEM
`-. \ ___
`-. | .-'';:::.
`-.-' / ',''.;;;\
AsH | ','','.''|
|\ ' ,',' /'
`.`-.___.-;'
`--._.-'
%
.'"". IT OCCURS TO ME THAT ALL THAT TIME
c' )"/ GEORGE MICHAEL WAS SINGING ABOUT WANTING
__> /_ YOUR SEX (TWATS AND BOOBIES) HE WAS
.-`_ ._'-. ACTUALLY TALKING ABOUT MY SEX
( -' \ :/ )/ (HAIRY BALLS AND ASS)
\\._| ( //
'-/) $,
/ ) )
/ .'\ |
/.' \|
snd || ||
__|/ |/__
;_._) (,__;
%
_"_ %
(< ? WE'VE ALREADY ESTABLISHED WHAT YOU ARE LADY
` " WE'RE JUST HAGGLING OVER THE PRICE
__||___
|\___//_\
(' | ') \\
__|\ , / |/
/: / \ ::
\| ######o /|
######## $
########
\ : /
\: /
--
%%%
%%
%
/:\
|/|, b'ger
%
,-" `-,,-"
_,-'`, '-,
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,' \
/ \
/ v-, \ , I WHOEVER IS RESPONSIBLE, PLEASE
/ ,' ~l Y \ | STOP POSTING NUDE PICTURES OF
T /\ \ o I\ o | VANESSA DEL RIO
| `/ (_ `-,__,"| `,__,' |
| " ,( ` f ) | THANKS, LOVE, PLANET EARTH
\ I'\ `\, I ) \
\ L \ | "
`, \ --\ T [\ `
; \ L ^ \\ |
/ I \ c- ) |\ |
| \ y I --. - , -|( \
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%
_______________________________________________________________________
/_\_/_\_/_\_/_\_/_\_/_\_/_\_/_\_/_\_/_\_/_\_/_\_/_\_/_\_/_\_/_\_/_\_/_\
..oooooo...oo.......ooooo...
..oo.......oo.......oo..oo..
___ ___ ..oooo.....oo.......ooooo... ___ ___
|ooo|ooo| ..oo.......oo.......oo......______ |ooo|ooo|
|===|===| ..oooooo...oooooo...oo.....|##:[~]| |===|===|
|(O)|(O)| -,-\ Q , ___ _|, Q :!|=m |(O)|(O)|
|(O)|(O)| / -..\/H'=i= |###| Q . / .-/|::=m/ |(O)|(O)|
|mmm|mmm|___'|__|_,-.[]|\\__|###|__/W\_\_______MKm~'/--=m/)___|mmm|mmm|
'=======' | |(apx) | `~'===' (`&}=|" _ {|\ /| /$ '======='
`~.__,-._/'\/'\`-' /'\ '._ ,'`}\ | [M$|-\| \ /--\'._.~
. `~(_ / //'\
'._MMm ,-._mMM
_______________________________`~-'____________________________________apx
I TOTALLY LIKE THAT U2 SONG WHERE BONO DOESN'T WASH AND

YOU CAN SMELL THE LIQUOR ON HIS BREATH THROUGH THE CD
LIKE RETARDS AND WOMEN, IRISHMEN DON'T GET REAL NAMES

%
\\\
(oO) AT THIS POINT I WOULD LIKE TO SAY I18N AND L10N
/C \
/__/\\
\\__// BECAUSE CLEARLY I AM A LAZY FUCK
__> U<__
_\/_
%
^__^ /
(oo)\_______/ _________
(__)\ )=( ____|_ \_____
||----w | \ \ \_____ |
|| || || ||
THIS IS THE SECOND WORST BLOWJOB EVER

%
,-----.
/' `\ THIS IS WHERE WE MOLDED AL FRANKEN
; ----,---- ; OUT OF CLAY IN ORDER TO MAKE HIM
| ò- |ò- | RESEMBLE A REAL LIVE HUMAN BEING
| |_ |
| _____, |
\_ _/
| `-----' |
__.-; ;-.__
_,-' ; : ; ; `-._
_,' `.
,`-,_____ \ : : / ____,-'-,
/' ```----. .----''' `\
/ \_/ \
| | |
| , | , |
| | | | |
| \ | / |
\ /\ o | o /\ /
/ | |`\ / \ /'| | \
| | | `------' `------' | | |
| | \ _.--'|`--._ / | |
\ | | __|--'|`--|__ | | /
| | | __|--'|`--|__pb | | |
%
#######
#######o###
#####o#######o#
####o#\#|#/########
########\|/##o#####o#
# }}{ o #
}{{ (
o }}{_ c_\ FUCK
}}{\(
ejm97 }{{ \/\\ o
%
...
.::':::'::.
.:' .' : '. ':.
::--:--:--:--::
:-._ ':. '. : .' .:' _.-:
: "-._'':.:::.:''_.-" : MAYBE NOW THE JOCKS WILL STOP BEATING ME UP
: "-._'''_.-" :
: ._ "-" _. : OR AT LEAST FIND BETTER TARGETS IN THIS NEW
: : "-._ _.-" : : PEER GROUP !!!!!
: : ": :" : :
'-.-' : : '-.-' I DON'T HAVE TO BE FASTER THAN THE LION
grp : : I JUST HAVE TO BE FASTER THAN THE SLOWEST
'-.-' GUY IN THE HERD
%
.
/ )
) /
(.;
)
(.
,---Q
|_/ |_
|____/ I HAVE THE ABILITY TO SET FIRES WITH MY MIND
| |
| | MY MIND IN TURN CONTROLLING MY HAND AND TELLING
|++++| IT TO TURN ON THIS LIGHTER
|".".|
|++++| WHAT THAT'S TOTALLY LEGITIMATE
| |
arm |____| SHUT UP
%
sSSSSSs
SS;; SSSS
S< ?SSS JANE FONDA: AMERICA'S LEAST FAVORITE STUPID WHORE
S> SSS
___)(____
( \/ )
\||, )( ( / (
\\/ /\ / \ \
\./ )==( / /
/ \//'
( '|\`
\ /
\ /
) (
/ \
jgs / \
/ \
`-........-'
/ ) / )
/_/|/_/|
%
|~
|.---.
.'_____`. /\
|~xxxxx~| ||
|_ # _| || TO: GEORGE LUCAS
.------`-#-'-----.
(___|\_________/|_.`. FROM: THE WORLD
/ | _________ | | |
/ |/ _|_ \| | | ARE YOU FUCKING DONE WITH THIS SHIT YET
/ /X| __|__ |/ `.|
( --< \\/ _\//|_ |`.
`. ~----.-~=====,:=======
~-._____/___:__(``/| |
| | XX|~ | |
\__/======| /| `.|
|_\|\ /|/_| )
|_ \__/ _| .-'
| \ .'||`. / |(_|
LS | ||.'`.|| | )
| `'| |`' | /
| | | |\/
%
.----.
===(_)== IF DAVE CHAPPELLE DOESN'T RECOVER
// 6 6 \\ QUICKLY FROM HIS SHITFIT OR TEMPER
( 7 ) TANTRUM OR WHATEVER'S GOING ON WITH HIM
\ '--' / THEN AS GOD IS MY WITNESS I'M GOING TO
\_ ._/ SHOVE THIS OVERSIZED FIST RIGHT UP HIS ASS
__) (__
/"`/`\`V/`\`\
/ \ `Y _/_ \
/ [DR]\_ |/ / /\
| ( \/ / / /
\ \ \ /
\ `-/` _.`
jgs `=. `=./
`"`
%
,
/:\
>:< I'M SURE "INTO THE WEST" WILL BE A REASONABLE
>:< AND LEVEL-HEADED ANALYSIS OF EARLY AMERICAN HISTORY
>:<
,,,,,\:/
#########
//////\\\\\
// /_\ /_\ \\
$ 0 _ 0 )/
/\\= _\ =//\
\\/\ --- /\//
//\ '---' /\\
\// \\/
/\\ //\
\\/ \//
# #
jgs " "
%
________
/________\
//( ( ( ( \\
|| <o> <o>((|| IF WE HIT KATE BUSH REALLY HARD
||) ) ` ) )|| DO YOU THINK SHE'LL SNAP OUT OF IT
|| (\___( ( || OR WHAT
\|) ) $_|/
/ ((\_v_/ \
/ /) x \ \
| | x | |
| \ x / |
| | x | |
| |\ x /| |
| |/\ x /\| |
| | \x/ | |
| | V | |
/____\ /____\
| | | |
/ \ / \
| | | |
`~~| |~~'
|\ /|
| \ / |
|___V___|
| / \ |
| / \ |
|/ \|
/ \
/ \
______/ \_______
============================
Alyssa
%
|> |> HERE'S A HANDY QUICK TIP FOLKS
|_____|
/\|/\|/\\ WHENEVER YOU RECEIVE EMAIL FROM SOMEONE
__/ L L L L \/\ ALWAYS CHECK THE DOMAIN NAME IN REVERSE
//\\ L L L L L | ORDER !!!!
| L | L L L L L | |>
|> __| L | L L L L L | |__
| / L \L | L L L L L |__/\|/\
/\_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/ L L \ IF YOU SEE:
| L | L L L L L L L L L L |L L L | /\
| L | L L L L L L L L L L |L L L |__|| CA
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
||___________ PRECEDED BY
Rc________|| // L L L /
L L L //\\ // L L L / QC
L L L // \\ // L L L /
_______// /\ \\ ||__________|
-------|| [] || || [] [] [] |
L L L || || || | THEN YOU CAN GO AHEAD AND DELETE IT
=======|| || [] [] [] | WITHOUT READING IT BECAUSE IT'S
///////|| || | JUST THOSE FUCKING QUEBECOIS FAGGOTS
[] [] || || [] [] [] |
%
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u" uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu "u
u" u$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$u "u
u" u$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$u "u
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$ $$$u `"$$$$$$$ $$$ $$$$$ $$ $$$ $$$ $
$ $$$$$$uu "$$$$ $$$ $$$$$ $$ """ u$$$ $
$ $$$""$$$ $$$$ $$$u "$$$" u$$ $$$$$$$$ $
$ $$$$....,$$$$$..$$$$$....,$$$$..$$$$$$$$ $
$ $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$ $
"u "$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$" u"
"u "$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$" u"
"u "$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$" u"
"u "$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$" u"
"u "$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$" u"
"u """""""""""""""""" u" NOBODY LIKES A QUITTER SO I QUIT
""""""""""""""""""""
%
_.,_
,-'.' .`-,
;; '. ' `. ;` - _
_,-; ' ; `. ,% .-, -
,_.,-'` ';; ; : ;%' | | \
___ _._,-`'\ `'-`' _.,' `. )
__,--`-,,`' ,._,.-`-., _.,-.--.-,`''` | _| |__
`---'////\ / .-, `-`-^--`'^`-...,,| | |.,/
//\)(/ `-\.-. | `-'
( .-; | | ,.
`-~ ~~-. `._.' ,/ /
`~ ~~~ ~~ /,.`)
// /
IF IT WASN'T FOR DRINKING WE'D ALL /_ `/
HAVE TO TAKE UP WEIGHT LIFTING OR ( `/
MOUNTAIN CLIMBING OR MARATHONS `-' mic
OR SOME SHIT
%
_.----.
.----------------" / / \
( EVEREADY | | |) |
`----------------._\ \ /
"----' LiN
HOLY SHIT !!! IT FEELS JUST LIKE A REAL PUSSY !!!!
WAIT THIS IS JUST A NORMAL FLASHLIGHT OW OW OW OW
I NEED SUTURES AND A HUG STAT

%
.----.
===(_)==
// 6 6 \\ IT'S GOOD AIDS IS A SLOW DETERIORATION
( 7 ) BECAUSE THAT GIVES YOU FUCKING FAGGOTS
\ '--' / MORE OPPORTUNITY TO WHINE AS YOU
\_ ._/ PROGRESSIVELY BECOME MORE AND MORE
__) (__ DISGUSTING
/"`/`\`V/`\`\
/ \ `Y _/_ \
/ [DR]\_ |/ / /\
| ( \/ / / /
\ \ \ /
\ `-/` _.`
jgs `=. `=./
`"`
%
_
.' \ AND ALL YOU CANCER PATIENTS CAN
| \ _ SUCK ON MY CHALKY DICK TOO
| _ \ ( )
| (o) \/ '
. _ \/
/ (o) \
/ . '
._/| (()) |
| __|
rjm/jrjc ' / __)
\__.' /
(___.' HOW'S THAT ABCGI YOU USELESS LITTLE CUNT
%
_
|_t+.__________________......_ /;_
;________________/ : \ t""o.\__ WHEN I SHOOT CIVIL PROTECTION
:---|------------------t-----^-`--' / I FEEL BETTER ABOUT MYSELF
\__L___________________\____________\
""-. o .--. \--'/ l .-t+.
\ ( l) ;"" : /
l `--" o; Y *BLAM* (SCREEEEEEEEEEEEEE)
"""""";: .-. :\
:: '-' ;\
;; : ;
:: bug ;|
;'-------';
'"------""
%
z $b$$F
F" 4$$P"
r *$$$".c... WHEN BRITS SAY "GOBSMACKED" I JUST
%-4$$$$$$$$" HAVE TO BEAT OFF RIGHT THEN AND THERE
J$*$$$$$$P (NO WAITING)
^r4$$$$$$"
*f*$$*"
".4 *$$$$$$.
4ee%.e. .$$$$$$$$r
4$$$$$$b P$**)$$$$b
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%
.--//-//-//------------/"\
/ === === === j l
\ === === === l j
`--\\-\\-\\------------\_/
FIRST THEY CAME FOR THE JEWS

AND I DID NOT SPEAK OUT
BECAUSE WHAT ELSE IS NEW
THEN THEY CAME FOR THE COMMUNISTS

BECAUSE DUH, THEY DESERVED IT
THEN THEY CAME FOR THE TRADE UNIONISTS

BECAUSE I WAS BUSY WATCHING PORN
THEN THEY CAME FOR ME

WHICH WAS OKAY I SUPPOSE SINCE
AT THAT POINT I WAS ALL ALONE, BORED, AND OUT OF NEW PORN
%
_,.---.,_
_,' ',_ NOW THAT MICHAEL JACKSON GOT FREE
,-' ', ,' '-, CAN WE ARREST GEORGE LUCAS FOR
,-''-, \ / ,-''-, MOLESTING MY INNER CHILD
,''-._ `. ; ; .` _.-''.
,' '. \ [ ] / .' '.
/---..,_ '. \ ; ; / .' _,..---\
| `'-. '.\ [ ] /.' .-'` |
\..,,__ `-,\\; ;//,-` __,,../
`'-,._''--..,,_;\, ,/;_,,..--''_,.-'`
`'-.,_ `'-'` _,.-'`
`'-. .-'`
sk '._.'
%
_
.-. .-"' `". EVEN THOUGH I'M AMERICAN I TRY
: .^._ .' . TO WORK THE WORD "FORTNIGHT"
"> I +.-. : ,-. : INTO ACTUAL CONVERSATION AS MUCH
: "." I "+ ._: ' AS POSSIBLE BECAUSE WELL YOU KNOW
|" " .^. I . I'M A FUCKING RETARD
'. " `-: /
`-. + _.'
`-._ _.-='` zi.
`'`
%
.=.,
;c =\ IF I HAD A SUPERHERO NAME I'D BE SULFUR BOY
__| _/
.'-'-._/-'-._ (RE: FARTS)
/.. ____ \
/' _ [<_->] ) \ NO THAT'S NOT A CLEVER REFERENCE I JUST
( / \--\_>/-/'._ ) FART A LOT
\-;_/\__;__/ _/ _/
'._}|==o==\{_\/
/ /-._.--\ \_
// / /| \ \ \
/ | | | \; | \ \
/ / | :/ \: \ \_\
/ | /.'| /: | \ \
| | |--| . |--| \_\
/ _/ \ | : | /___--._) \
|_(---'-| >-'-| | '-'
snd /_/ \_\
%
__..--''\
__..--'' \ A GOOGLE SEARCH FOR THE PHRASE
__..--'' __..--''
__..--'' __..--'' | "I WISH I HADN'T FUCKED THAT FISH"
\ o __..--''____....----""
\__..--''\ CAME UP WITH NO DOCUMENTS SO IT
| \
+----------------------------------+ FELL UPON ME TO REMEDY THAT
OS +----------------------------------+
%
` '
;,,, ` ' ,,,;
`YES8888bo. : : .od8888YES'
888IO8DO88b. : : .d8888I8DO88
8LOVEY' `Y8b. ` ' .d8Y' `YLOVE8
jTHEE! .db. Yb. ' ' .dY .db. 8THEE!
`888 Y88Y `b ( ) d' Y88Y 888'
8MYb '" ,', "' dMY8 YOU KNOW WHAT WOULD BE A GREAT
j8prECIOUSgf"' ':' `"?g8prECIOUSk IDEA ??!? A REALITY TELEVISION
'Y' .8' d' 'b '8. 'Y' SHOW BASED ON GILLIGAN'S ISLAND
! .8' db d'; ;`b db '8. !
d88 `' 8 ; ; 8 `' 88b
d88Ib .g8 ',' 8g. dI88b
:888LOVE88Y' 'Y88LOVE888:
'! THEE888' `888THEE !'
'8Y `Y Y' Y8'
AM Y Y
%
_ _.-'`-._ _
;.'________'.;
_________n.[____________].n_________
|""_""_""_""||==||==||==||""_""_""_""]
|"""""""""""||..||..||..||"""""""""""|
|LI LI LI LI||LI||LI||LI||LI LI LI LI|
|.. .. .. ..||..||..||..||.. .. .. ..|
,,;;,;;;,;;;,;;;,;;;,;;;,;;;,;;,;;;,;;;,;;,,
;;jgs;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;
o< INSTEAD OF USING THE WORDS JUNTA OR HEGEMONY

I'M JUST GOING TO GO HALFWAY AND CALL IT A JUNTEGEMONY
%
ejm98 _____
_____ _____ |6 |
|2 | _____ |5 || ^ ^ |
| ^ ||3 | _____ | ^ ^ || ^ ^ | _____
| || ^ ^ ||4 || ^ || ^ ^ ||7 |
| ^ || || ^ ^ || ^ ^ ||____9|| ^ ^ | _____
|____Z|| ^ || ||____S| |^ ^ ^||8 | _____
|____E|| ^ ^ | | ^ ^ ||^ ^ ^||9 |
|____h| |____L|| ^ ^ ||^ ^ ^|
_____ |^ ^ ^||^ ^ ^|
_____ |K WW| |____8||^ ^ ^|
_____ |Q ww| | ^ {)| |____6|
_____ |J ww| | ^ {(| |(.)%%| _____
|10 ^ || ^ {)| |(.)%%| | |%%%||A . |
|^ ^ ^||(.)% | | |%%%| |_%%%>|| /.\ |
|^ ^ ^|| | % | |_%%%O| |(_._)|
|^ ^ ^||__%%[| | | |
|___0I| |____V|
DON'T HATE THE PLAYER, HATE THE THINGS THE PLAYER MUST DO IN
ORDER TO MAINTAIN HIS GOOD REPUTATION AS A COMPETENT PLAYER
%
|||||
||O O|`____. ANYONE WHO USES THE WORD "REFACTORING" MORE
|||\-/|| \ __\ THAN TWICE WITHIN A FEW MINUTES IN ANY
|.--:--| . : TECHNICAL DISCUSSION IS RETARDED
/( ):( |_.-~~_.
(~m : / | oo:|
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
VK+a:f
%
,%/7\\`
(/// .\\)
(((( - ))) YOU NEED A RADICAL HYSTERECTOMY:
((|)_*_/(((
))(/) (\((|) DUMP THE BITCH
((((\___/))(\
/ ,-) (-. \
( ( ( _ _ ) ) )
\ \ )^ ^ ^( / /
) y y (
\( )/
\_______/
\ / /
y /
( '
\ \
\ y-._
hjw |\,' X-'
_,T-) /
(__,-%_/
%
.
___/|' _____
____/_. .' //'''/
_ ~|,, @ }| .'____(___ .
\(====) } > '/.------'/ ___ /_\
|^^_ } \ / \--'._ ( / _ \//
|/ \ _ > .'/\_-.. ''-.> ( (_) )'
(_)xx\ ____//\'. ''\'. '___\_/ .'
(__)xx>/--/-\' '.\ ''\.' .___.'
<)=\ (__)x//_// || _\\__ .' )
<)=+ '. (_)_/ |/\__||_/ ' \'xxxxx '.
<)= . '._(_( __ \/ \_ xxxx \
|/ '. _\| / _/_/_/~~/~~~/'.___. '.__
' |/ / _ ) ( /_ \ \_ \
/ // \/ '. |/~ |RS|/~
<)=/ // <)=/ // <)=/ //
<)=+ ( <)=+ ( <)=+
<)=.'\=(> <)=.'\=(> <)=.'\=(>
IF THE U.N. IS SO HIGH AND MIGHTY

WHY DIDN'T THEY STOP HITLER IN 1938
%
_____ _____
---' __\______ ______/__ `---
______) (______
__) (__
__) (__
---.______) VK (______.---
OKAY I HAVE A BRILLIANT PLAN TO MAKE A LOT OF MONEY

WITH NO RISK OR CHANCE OF FAILURE BECAUSE IT'S SO CLEVERLY
CONCEIVED
THINGS I'LL NEED (FIRST THINGS FIRST, MAKE A CHECKLIST):
[ ] PLANE TICKET TO SAN JOSE
[ ] $5 FOR A WENDY'S CHILI
[ ] SEVERED FINGER
%
.----------.
| ~ON~ |
| ____ | THIS IS THE JESUS BUTTON
| |.--.| |
| || || | YOU PRESS IT AND IT CALLS JESUS
| ||__|| |
| ||\ \| |
| |\ \_\ | IT'S LIKE PRAYING IN THAT IT DOESN'T WORK
| |_\[_] | BUT AT LEAST IT REQUIRES LESS EFFORT
| |
jgs | ~OFF~ |
'----------'
%
#######
##O#O## IT'S NOT THAT I CAN'T SHIT
#VVVVV#
## VVV ## IT'S THAT I AM NOT ALLOWED TO SHIT
# ##
# ## REALLY IT'S BEST THIS WAY
# ### BECAUSE PENGUIN SHIT IS
QQ# ##Q REALLY NASTY ALL WE DO IS
QQQQQQ# #QQQQQQ EAT FISH AND SUCK OFF FAGS
QQQQQQQ# #QQQQQQQ WHICH PRODUCES A SMELLY PINK
QQQQQ#######QQQQQ HEY ARE YOU RECORDING THIS
%
.-"""""-.
((' `)) YOU WILL NEVER FIND WHAT YOU SEEK
.'`-.....-'`.
/{\ .--. oO ,\ I HAVE HIDDEN IT IN HELL
| { ><<_ @}'.%` |
| {/%,`--' `&' |
\ `&' `%' /
`..:%.:::.7.'
`"""""""' hjw
%
__________
/ ___ ___ \
/ / @ \/ @ \ \ I DON'T GET WHY SO MANY JEWS HAD TO DIE
\ \___/\___/ /\
\____\/____/|| WHY COULDN'T THEY JUST GO TO THEIR SUMMER
/ /\\\\\// HOMES UNTIL THE HOLOCAUST THINGY WAS
| |\\\\\\ PASSE
\ \\\\\\
\______/\\\\ FOR GOODNESS SAKE PEOPLE JUST HAVE YOUR
_||_||_ DRIVER TAKE YOU TO THE HAMPTONS
%
_________ WHAT IF THE ZOMBIES
_____/ o o \____--- GET IN AND THE HOUSE IS
_____/ o o o o o\__-- A HUGE MESS
___/ o o o o o \__--
_/ / o o o o o o o\_-- WILL THEY WAIT UNTIL
/ / |/|/ /o o o o o o o\_-- I RUN OUT TO WAL*MART
| |-------__/ / /|/o o o o o o o\-- FOR SOME VACUUM
| | / / /|/ o o o o o o o\-- CLEANER BAGS BECAUSE
\_ \ | / /|/|/ o o o o o o o\--- SOME OF MY GUESTS
\ |_ \ / / /|/ o o o o o o o\-- CRUSHED CHIPS INTO
/ \ | | / / |/ o o o o o --\ \ THE CARPET AND A
| | | |_nn| / / |/o | |/ / \ | DUSTBUSTER JUST
\__/ \__/ / /\ / \/ |'O` '\ WON'T DO
\ | \ \_ * *\
| | \_____\===/| OH ALSO I NEED
|_nn| |_nn| AA BATTERIES
%
o
o o PENGUINS ARE JUST
o O o FAGS WITH BEAKS
\---||---/
/ \ YOU'LL SEE SOON ENOUGH OR YOU ALREADY KNOW
%
,@@@@@@@@@,
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@ THE BEST PART ABOUT HIPPIES IS YOU
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@ CAN BURN THEIR BODIES AND USE THEM
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@ FOR WARMTH, LIGHT
@@@@@'_ _'@@@@@
@@@| o o |@@@ PRESUMING OF COURSE YOU DON'T MIND
'@| (_) |@' THE HEADY SMELL OF INCENSE, DIRTY
\ ___ / FEET, AND ASS
|\_`~`_/|
____/: `"` :\____
/`}}}}}\ /{{{{{`\
/ {{{{{ \ / }}}}} \
/ }}}}} \.-./ {{{{{ \
| {{{{{ / | \ }}}}} |
jgs | }}}}} \/|\/ {{{{{ |
| /{{{{{ '-' }}}}}\ |
%
SUCK MY METAL DICK
OR THERE WILL BE ....
TROUBLE
_______
_.-()______)-._
.' '.
/ \
: _________ :
|.--''' '''--.|
( )
:'--..._________...--':
: :
: :
: :
: :
: :
: :
: :
: :
jrei :_ _:
'''-----'''
%
HOW ABOUT INSTEAD OF ASPERGER SYNDROME WE JUST CALL IT
THE WACKY CONFUSED BONER SYNDROME TO MAKE IT EASIER TO REMEMBER
.=""--._
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| / `. \ wkm `.\
|/ `-\ `.
|
WE'RE ONLY TRYING TO CRASH SOMETHING INTO COMET TEMPEL 1

BECAUSE WE THINK THERE'S OIL THERE !!!!!!! AND THE REASON
WE WERE GIVEN FOR THE MISSION IS THAT WE THINK THE COMET
HAS WEAPONS OF MASS DESTRUCTION !!!!!! LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL
I'M A REGISTERED DEMOCRAT SO IT'S KIND OF MY DUTY TO SAY

RETARDED THINGS LIKE THAT IN ATTEMPT TO SOUND BOTH CLEVER
AND FUNNY AT THE SAME TIME
WELL I DID SAY ATTEMPT

%
_
_ / |
/ \ | | /\ THE AYES HAVE IT
\ \| |/ /
\ Y | /___ P.S.: THERE WERE NO AYES
.-.) '. `__/
(.-. / / P.P.S.: THIS IS NOT A REFERENCE
| ' | TO EBONY AYES
|___|
[_____]
jgs | |
%
,@@@@@@@@@, REPEAT:
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@ WHAT KIND OF ASSHOLE NAMES
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@ HIS KIDS DWEEZIL AND MOON UNIT
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@
@@@@@'_ _'@@@@@
@@@| o o |@@@ YOUR DEATH DOES NOT ALLEVIATE
'@| (_) |@' YOUR MORTAL SIN AGAINST HUMANITY
\ ___ / IN THE FORM OF UNREASONABLE
|\_`~`_/| CHILD NAMING PROCEDURES SIR
____/: `"` :\____
/`}}}}}\ /{{{{{`\
/ {{{{{ \ / }}}}} \
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%
_..-=._
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/ ).`='/ \ - SNOWBALLS
L_..--/ _`-'--... \
/ \ 3 - MILF
/ \/
/ Y ,. \ \ - FISTING
/ / , | Y`. \
| _/\ c . \ c /| \ \ - FURRIES
\ \ `r' `-=-' / \ \
\ \j | / / - BDSM
\_ c | ,' ,'
7 | \7' .' - HOMOS
L_/ _ ,-' .'
/ ^ L___/ - GAG FACTOR
J \
| L - M2A
| . , |
\ \l/ F - DVDA
F / /
\ J : - VANESSA DEL RIO (SO DISGUSTING SHE GETS
\ | F HER OWN CATEGORY)
\ F /
\| / cjr
%
.
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| | | | | |__|__LJ__L_L_|_|_J-------------"-__
| | |_L---"" . ""--_____
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HEY GUYS BATTLECRUISER MILLENNIUM IS FREE !!!!!!
WELL I GUESS NOT IF YOU CONSIDER THE OPPORTUNITY COST

%
_______
| | |
|---+---| I'M WORRIED ABOUT THE SYRIAN-SHIVAN CONNECTION
| | O|_
| | \/\ \
| | /\)
ejm | |`' |\__
|___|___| `\
%
_
(_) _ I THINK MY DICK HAS ASPERGER'S (IT
_ .=. (_) DOESN'T HAVE VERY GOOD SOCIAL SKILLS
(_) _ //(`)_ AND TENDS TO FIXATE ON ONE THING)
//`\/ |\ 0`\\
||-.\_|_/.-|| ALSO IT BANGS ITS HEAD AGAINST THE
)/ |_____| \( _ WALL AND AND SO NEEDS A HELMET
0 #/\ /\# 0 (_)
_| o o |_
_ ((|, ^ ,|))
(_) `||\_/||` SAYING "I HAVE ASPERGER'S" AND EXPECTING
|| _ || _ IT TO BE COOL IS LIKE SHOUTING "I HAVE
| \_/ | (_) AUTISM AND AN INABILITY TO BE USEFUL
0.__.\ /.__.0 IN SOCIETY AND THEREFORE SHOULD BE PUT
`._ `"` _.' DOWN BEFORE I CAN REPRODUCE AND
jgs / ; \ \ SPREAD AROUND MY DEFECTIVE GENES"
0'-' )/`'-0
0`
%
__ __ __ __ __ __ __ __ __ __
__|\@\|\@\ ___|\@\|\@\|\@\____|\@\|\@\____|\@\|\@\|\@\__
|\ \a\@\a\@\ \ \a\@\a\@\a\@\ \ \a\@\a\@\ \ \a\@\a\@\a\@\ \
| \ \a\@\a\@\ \ \a\@\a\@\a\@\ \ \a\@\a\@\ \ \a\@\a\@\a\@\ \
\ \ \|@|\|@| \ \|@|\|@|\|@| \ \|@|\|@| \ \|@|\|@|\|@| \
\ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \
\ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \
\ \___\___\___\___\___\___\___\___\___\___\___\___\___\___\
\ | | | | | | | | | | | | | | |
'---'---'---'---'---'---'---'---'---'---'---'---'---'---'pjb
WHAT WOULD CHLOE JONES DO

%
_
_ ,d$$$b
d$$$b$$[ o
$$< q \ .'
) _, | / YOU'RE HURTING MY FEELINGS
,`-_/ ` \'|\ AND A LITTLE BIT MORE
/' / pb / `; `\
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/ `._ /_;,_|--'
)=,,_ .-' "-'(^^|/'
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| ,--| __/|_ `-----'
( | | ,`' (___,, | |_
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%
; ,` ,-` ,-~` ,--~`
; ,` ,-` ,-~` ,--~`
; ,` ,-` ,-~` ,--~`
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; ,` ,-` ,-~` ,--~`
; ,` ,-` ,-~` ,--~`
; ,` ,-` ,-~` ,--~`
;,`,-`,-~`,--~`
BEING BOBBY BROWN HUH ??!?!?!?!
I GUESS WIFEBEATERS ARE GOOD FODDER FOR BRAVO REALITY SHOWS, HUH
FAGGOTS AND RETARDS AND ADDICTS AND WIFEBEATERS

%
oo
8 "} > @ <
.8 .-._/| DOES EVERY FUCKING CONSOLE GAME HAVE TO HAVE
.'_'`')`_.' A DANCE DANCE REVOLUTION SEGMENT IN IT NOW
\| ) /
(>'/ |_,_
| (,|
.' ,'\|
`._/ )
\| '`-
-- ''-- --- VK/ejm
%
_ _
/ \ _ _ _ / \ YOU'RE ON THE DOWN LOW ?!?!?!?!?!?
| | / \/ \/ \ | |
% | |I| || || |=o | % THE WORST KIND OF FAGGOT ???
% | | j_jj_jj_j | | % v %
V | | ||_________|| | | .:,>@<%% A FAGGOT WHO WON'T ADMIT IT
>@<| ; | | | || || | | | | ~*~ | |%
*| |:X:| |I| || || | | | |*'|`\|/|| ~@~ *
,||/|`|'|_| |_||_||_| |_|,||,|/ |,||Vv,`|',v`|v hjw
%
__i
|---| HMMMM HOW CAN WE MAKE CELL PHONE USAGE EVEN MORE
|[_]| ANNOYING TO OTHERS !?!?!?!?
|:::|
|:::| I KNOW LET'S FUCKING MAKE THEM LIKE WALKIE-TALKIES
`\ \
\_=_\ jsm
%
/MMMM=M\
MMMMMMMM TO SHOW MY SOLIDARITY WITH THE STARVING PEOPLE OF AFRICA
\MM"MMMMM/ IN LIGHT OF RECENT EVENTS I'M GOING TO EAT THIS BAG OF
VMMMM CHEETOS IN SILENCE (WELL AS QUIETLY AS I CAN BECAUSE
IMMM/ THEY'RE CRUNCHY AND SO CHEWING THEM MAKES LOTS OF NOISE)
\MMM
M="
%
, /),
(( -.((_)) _,) TWO FOUR SIX EIGHT
,\`.'_ _`-','
`.> <> <> (,- IT'S TOO HOT TO MASTURBATE
,', | `._,)
(( ) |, (`--'
`'( ) _--_,-.\ SSt
/,' $ ) `'
(( `\
`
%
_ _
(_\__/(,_
| \ `_////-._
_ _ L_/__ "=> __/`\
(_\__/(,_ |=====;__/___./
| \ `_////-._'-'-'-""""""`
J_/___"=> __/`\ I'M STARTING A COMBINATION WIKI/BLOG
jgs |=====;__/___./ WHICH I'M GOING TO CALL A WOG
'-'-'-"""""""`
%
, ,
\y ,--.y/
/,---. )\ BIANCA TRUMP SUCKED BLACK DICK SO SHE
/ (((\$\ \ COULDN'T ATTEND THE WHITE POWER RALLY
\ \\-_/ / /
\ i i / POOR THING, LIFE IS SO UNFAIR
(_)=(_)
) . (
/\---/\
/ )-( \
/ / \ \
/ ," ". \
/ / \ \
hjw /-) (-\
/ ^! !^ \
%
_.
_.-----'' `\
__..-----''' `.
< `\. '\
:. `. `\
`:. `. `-.
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`:. A s i `. __.===::::;)
. r I `: c ___.__>'::::::a:f/'
C A `. _,===:::=-'-=-"""''
i d t '-/:::''
''
y
I PUT THE DICK IN DICTIONARY
%
/|_ .-----------------------.
,' .\ / | I SHOT HIM !!!!!!! |
,--' _,' | I HOPE THE |
/ / | MOTHERFUCKER DIES !!! |
( -. | `-----------------------'
| ) |
(`-. '--.)
`. )----'
%
__________________________
__..--/".' '.
__..--"" | | | YOU KNOW WHAT THE BEST
/ | | | PART ABOUT BLOGS IS ???
/ | | ___________________ |
; | | :__________________/: | THE SECOND YOU SEE THE
| | | | '.| | WORD USED ANYWHERE IN
| | | | || | JOURNALISM OR LITERATURE
| | | | || | OF ANY KIND YOU KNOW
| | | | || | WITH CONFIDENCE THAT
| | | | || | YOU CAN THROW AWAY
| | | | || | WHATEVER WAS INVOLVED
| | | | || | KNOWING THAT IT'S
| | | | || | COMPLETE SHIT
| | | |______......-----"\| |
| | | |_______......-----" | AS OF THIS DAY I'M
| | | | STARTING AMERICANS
| | | | AGAINST BLOGGERS
| | | ____----|
| | |_____.....----|#######|---|
| | |______.....----"""" |
| | | |
|. .. | | , |
|... .... | | (c ----- """ .'
|..... ...... |\|_| ____......------"""|"
|. .... .......| |"""""" |
'... ..... ....| | |
"-._ ..... .| | |
"-._.....| | ___...---"""'
"-._.| | ___...---"""
""""" grp
%
| ! | ' ! .: . : | _.._| | !
| | | : | . ; ! : ___.' '.! :
| ! | . | :. | | ! ( (____/`\ \ .
O | :_| |_| !:_!_| |===\(' |' ' ) ) !_
(_) `-' `-' `-^' `-' / _\= _/ (-'
""T"""O_C ____ (_.' ) \',)`
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I PU `)o----------( ' `--` )-"
I ,' Ò" .----._| / ~ ( . ,-| |
I' '---.. ' /`-__,--`-`-` '_| _,-
,' `'---.'.__`/ / / ,'.-=.--
jgs `. / ( \
`'--` '\/
CHECK OUT THIS GRAINY GREEN VIDEO OF SOMETHING HORRIBLE
WE OBTAINED THIS USING FLIR AND A BOTTLE OF TEQUILA

%
,
(&)
, ;
|\|_,
.| |;
(,) | IF I COULD BE ANY KIND OF CHALUPA
.( (';) I'D BE A SUPREME CHALUPA
( . (
) ( )
( ) )',
).' (
( .-( '.;
) ) '-._)
(_.' \`
/`'-------'\
(`'---------')
\ /
\ /
`,_____'lds
%
_
.nNNNNNn. IF I COULD BE ANY KIND OF BARYON
/NNNNN(#\N\_ I'D BE THE ANAL RAPIST BARYON
|NNNNNNN\#)N|NNn_
\NNNNNNNNN/N(#\N\
"*NNNNN*"NNN\#)N|
"\NNNNNNNNN/
"*NNNNN*"
"
%
/-_-\ A POEM FOR MY DEAREST FROM MOI:
/ / \
/ / \ O FEMALE FORM WHO I ADORE / PUT THIS IN YOUR CUNT
\ \ /
\__\__/ YES I KNOW / JUST IGNORE THE THORNS
\\
-\\ ____ ABSOLUTELY ANYTHING / TO MAKE IT SMELL BETTER
\\ / /
____ \\/___/ LADY DON'T SEND MOVEON.ORG YOUR MONEY OR
\ \ -// PROTEST IN FRONT OF THE ABORTION CLINIC
\___\//- JUST SPEND TEN MINUTES BUYING FLOWERS AND
-// SHOVING THEM INTO YOUR CUNT
\\
// WE TRIED USING WINDEX BUT THAT MADE THINGS
//- WORSE
-//
// THE POLICE SAY IF I USE BLEACH AGAIN I GO BACK IN
\\
\\ ALSO DON'T DO THIS WHILE DRIVING OKAY THANKS
%
_ ___ _.--.
\`.|\..----...-'` `-._.-'_.-'`
/ ' ` , __.--'
)/' _/ \ `-_, / WE'VE MADE MAJOR STRIDES SINCE THEN
`-'" `"\_ ,_.-;_.-\_ ',
_.-'_./ {_.' ; / MAJOR STRIDES
fsc/as {_.-``-' {_/
%
_,,,_
.' `'.
/ ____ \ WHY DO MIDDLE-AGED WOMEN ALWAYS CUT
| .'_ _\/ THEIR HAIR SHORT ?!??!?!?
/ ) a a|
/ ( > |
( ) ._ / DID THEY FORGET HOW TO BRUSH ?!?!?!?!?!
) _/-.__.'`\
( .-'`-. \__ )
`/ `-./ `.
| \ \ \
jgs | \ \ \ \
|\ `. / / \
%
__ __
__\_\___ ___/_/__
/_______ \___ ___/\_______\ NO PAPERS, STATE TO STATE
\_\ \/__/\_____/\__\/ /_/
\/_____\/ __
\o | o/_____ ________________/\_\
\ | /_______\_______________\/
\_/ / b'ger |
/\ _ |
/ /\_________/ |__|
/ / / /
/_/ /_/
\ \ \ \
\ \ \_\
\_\ /_/
/_/ |_|
%
)
( ( (
) ( ) ) ( )
( ) ( ( ) (
) ( ) ) ( )
( ) ( ) (
) ) ___.--. ) GREAT, LITTLE SHITBALLS
) ) .''. .''...' ..'''.
( ( _.-~~~-.''';''., ''-. ; ; I ALWAYS WANTED TO TRY
) ) :' .----------------------. THIS KIND OF FOOD
( .' (______________________)
) '; (~| . |~)
..''; \| oOo |/
..'''.. '. | \|/ |
cfbd `.......'..' \____________________/
%
BRING THE WAR BACK HOME
('<
,',)
''<<
---""---
%
____________
|_* *|
/)_)* |* THIS DONG IS PRESUMPTIVE POSITIVE FOR DUNG
|*| * *|* *
\o/* * |* * *
|\| * *|*|\*
ejm__|/\*_*_|*| |*
/ / \| |*
|*
\
%
_ _ _ _ _ _
/ \ / \ / \ / \ / \ / \
( n | o ) ( f | a | g | s )
\_/ \_/ \_/ \_/ \_/ \_/
%
O THAT SEGWAY THING SURE CHANGED THE WORLD AS PROMISED HUH
/\_
/_ `\D I MEAN NOW I CAN'T EVEN GO DOWN THE STREET WITHOUT
,===/ || SEEING A SEGWAY AND BEATING THE SHIT OUT OF ITS OWNER
/___/__ |_\ FOR BEING SUCH A FUCKING SHITLICKER
(o) (o) dp
%
3/1 2/1 1/1 2/3 1/2 PROGRAM NOTE:
| | / / .' .' WE HAD TO CENSOR
| | | / / .' THE PROVERBIAL
| / / / .' .' 1/3 EPICENTER OF THE
| | | / / .' .-' RAPE RAYS DUE TO
| | / / .' .' .-' STANDARDS AND
| / | / / .' .-' 1/4 PRACTICES
| | / / .' .' .-' _.-'
| | | / / .' .-' _.-' 1/5
| / / / .' .' .-' _.-' _.--'
| | | / / .' .-' _.-' _.--' 1/6
| | / / .' .' .-' _.-' _.--' __.--' 1/7
| | | / / .' .-' _.-' _.--' __.--' __..--'
_.-' _.--' __.--' __..--' 1/8
_.--' __.--' __..--' __..--''
__.--' __..--' __..--''
__..--' __..--''
__..--''
---------------------------------- 0
%
_____________
..---:::::::-----------. ::::;;.
.'"""""" ;; \ ":.
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.' ;; ; \\";
.' ; _____; \\/
.' :; ;" \ ___:'.
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.' .' ." ." ; ; /. |
/-./' ." / _.. ; ; ;;;|
: ;-.______ / _________==. /_ \ ; ; ;;;;
; / | """"""""""".---.""""""" : /" ". |; ; _; ;;;
/"-/ | / / / / ;|; ;-" | ;';
:- : """----______ / / ____. . ."'. ;; .-"..T" .
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""------... ..--"" " :
"""""""""""""""""" \ /
"------"
IT'S JUST A COINCIDENCE THAT MOST NASCAR FANS ARE PEDOPHILES

THERE'S NO CAUSAL CONNECTION OR ANYTHING JUST THE LUCK OF THE DRAW
%
O__O
(oo)
/-------\/
/ | || I SENT YOU AWAY
* ||----||
~~ ~~
%
__
/.-
______ //
/______'/| I WILL ACCEPT YOUR APOLOGY AND RETRACTION
[ ]| IN THE FORM OF A LOUDLY HUMMING BLOWJOB
[ Grape ]|
[ Juice ]|
[ _\_ ]|
[ ::: ]|
[ :' ]/
jgs '-------'
%
.--.
,-" "-, DOES MY FAT ASS
/|\____/|\ LOOK FAT
/ \__ __/ \ IN THIS FAT DRESS
'./ \ / \.'
) (
/ \
; ;
| |
| |
jgs |______|
%
-="""--.._
""--...._\ ,b:--....---.
|| //'""------"'
_.l+----.//
.&$""' .'"=.. '. WHAT'S AMAZING TO ME ABOUT EDDIE
/ | | ) \ MURPHY RAW IS THAT HE GOT THROUGH
_.-'@_.' '@_/ | THE WHOLE PERFORMANCE WITHOUT EVEN
.' " \ ONE SINGLE TRANSVESTITE ON STAGE
-._,-'^"""^'-, `.
,\""---___ |.. _.--._, \
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******
********
*********
** ******* WELL YOU'D BETTER
***** ******** FIND A WAY TO
******* ****** ** MASTURBATE ME
************* _*
************* / * AND HURRY
************* | * (*)
*** *** |(* * * * OH WAIT
** ** *
** * WAIT WAIT WAIT SHIT OH BABY
* )__ *
** \ \____* ALL RIGHT THANKS HERE'S $40
* \ (|)*
***\__* GO BUY YOURSELF A FLEET
%
.--.
________ TOBY FOR CHRIST'S SAKE I DIDN'T MEAN TO LEAVE
|Oo| PLEASE HIRE ME BACK IT'S NOT MY FAULT LYON'S DEN SUCKED
|()|
| -}
.----\""/----.
| \/ |
| | . | |
| | . | |____/__
\ \ . (_____/_=
\ \ \
\/\=[]===)
(""\ |
| |_/ |
TC | | |
%
WELL SHE SAID HELLO TO ME YOUR HONOR WHAT
`, DID YOU EXPECT ME TO DO ?!?!?!?!?
___ #
|/ ? SAY HELLO BACK ?!?!? I THINK NOT: RAPE
| , )\
/__/\ \____ #####
,- / \_/ \ _/_ ####
|/| / < _____ _> \ [.[.]-=##
-|.|--/___/ ,___/___\- /_ )#
_____'-'______|\/______________ |__ #
_______________________________] \___/
| | .'\$/\`-.
| _...._ | ( `.Y.' ( )
| ,-' '-_ |____|:__o___|_|_
| / \ |________________]
| | | | |
| | | | |
| \ / | |
| -_ ,- | |____
| `-...,-' | |
| | |
|_____________________________|_______________|
%
/@@@@@\
@@'''''@@ NO FAT CHICKS IN HERE
@@ o o @@
@@ - @@ SENT BY TRAIN OFF TO A CAMP
@@ * @@
@@| |@@ GASSED IN THE SHOWERS
@@ @@
%
. OW OW STOP YOU PIG
/ \
/ \ THIS IS WORSE THAN THE HOLOCAUST
___/_____\___
| | YOU'RE NOT AN EYE DOCTOR
| S U C K A C |
| O C K Y O U | GIVE ME BACK MY PANTIES
| S T U P I D |
| F A G G O T | THIS IS THE LAST STRAW
| a l o h a |
| * * * * | I WANT CAB MONEY AND A HUG
| '.'.' |
|_____________| OKAY JUST A HUG BUT NO BLACK EYES
%
,w.
,YWMMw ,M ,
_.---.._ __..---._.'MMMMMw,wMWmW,
_.-"" """ YP"WMMMMMMMMMb,
.-' __.' .' MMMMW^WMMMM;
_, .'.-'"; `, /` .--"" :MMM[==MWMW^;
,mM^" ,-'.' / ; ; / , MMMMb_wMW" @\
,MM:. .'.-' .' ; `\ ; `, MMMMMMMW `"=./`-,
WMMm__,-'.' / _.\ F"""-+,, ;_,_.dMMMMMMMM[,_ / `=_}
"^MP__.-' ,-' _.--"" `-, ; \ ; ;MMMMMMMMMMW^``; __|
/ .' ; ; ) )`{ \ `"^W^`, \ :
/ .' / ( .' / Ww._ `. `"
/ Y, `, `-,=,_{ ; MMMP`""-, `-._.-,
fsc (--, ) `,_ / `) \/"") ^" `-, -;"\:
`""" `""" `"' `---"
CAN'T WE JUST FEED BAD PEOPLE TO THE LIONS ALONG WITH THE CHRISTIANS
OR DOES THAT VIOLATE SOME AMENDMENT TO THE CONSTITUTION
%
NEW COPY OF BATTLEFIELD 2 FROM AMAZON.COM: $48
_.-._
ojo ({ ` ) PLAYING ENOUGH TO GET THE RANK OF CORPORAL AND
` |'' THE SECOND GODDAMN UNLOCK: 7 WEEKS
\_/
.( | ), GETTING GOOD ENOUGH SO THAT THE ENEMY COMMANDER
` -----' `----- ' CALLS DOWN ARTILLERY ON YOU AND YOU ALONE BECAUSE
YOU'RE FUCKING UP HIS TEAM SO BADLY: PRICELESS
%
o oo
o o o I'M AN *EMPOWERED* WOMAN !!!!!! SEE I'M GOING
___o o o TO EAT THIS LAST BON BON AND I'M NOT EVEN
/`._;o o GOING TO ASK ANYONE'S PERMISSION FIRST
| / o
;_ |
`-' jg
%
MY BAKELITE ENEMA JUST HARDENED
_.---.___.--. \.--. .-.

___.---' \/ .-' )
___.' ).' ___(
(___ \-----------------------`---/ ___)
| \ \ / / |
|___| |_______________________| |___|
(_____________________________________)
________|_|___________________________|_|___________VK
%
/;
/ |'-,.
/ ' `"---,.__
/ ' ,' , '"--,"|
/ ' , ,' ,"::| LET'S HAVE AN ARGUMENT ABOUT THE
/ ' ,' , ,"::::| MEANING OF THE WORD *SEMANTIC* !!!!!!!
/ ' , ,' ,"::::::L I KNOW I'LL LOOK UP ITS DEFINITION
/ ' ,' ,' ,"::::::::L IN THE DICTIONARY !!!!
/ ' , , ,":::::::::J
k-,._ ,' _.":::::::::::J CURIOUSLY ENOUGH THE ENTRY IN WEBSTER'S
\. `"----'"".J::::::::::::| SAYS "ANYONE WHO QUOTES A DICTIONARY
\. .-, .L:::::::::::| DEFINITION IN THE COURSE OF AN ARGUMENT
\. ( .J:::::::::::! IS A FUCKING STUPID COCKSUCKER"
\. `-- .L:::::::::/
\. .-. .|::::::::/ WELL OKAY BUT I DON'T THINK THAT REALLY
\. ( ) .J:::::::/ ANSWERS MY QUESTION ?!?!?!?!?
\. `-' .L:::::/
\. L .|::::/
\. !__ .J:::/
\. __ .L:/
\. L_) .|/
`-,__,-' kth
%
.. .. ...
.' ;' ; ;''''.
;| ; |; ;; ; YOU KNOW I AGREED WITH IT BEING
;| ; |; ;;. ; ONLY FOR 17+ WITH THE ROBBING
; ~~~~',,,,,,, '. ' ; AND MURDER AND MAYHEM AND VEHICULAR
; -A ; '; ; MANSLAUGHTER AND PROSTITUTION AND
; .....' ; ; MOB HITS AND PIMPING AND GANG
; _; ; ; BANGING AND ARSON FOR HIRE AND
; __(o)__. ; ; COPKILLING AND BEATING PEOPLE TO
.; '\--\\--\ .' ; DEATH WITH PURPLE DILDOS
.'\ \_.._._\\......,.,.; ;
.'' | ; '; ' .' BUT NOW THAT I SEE THE GOOFY
; | .' ;..,,.,,,,.' PIXELATED BOOB DOLLS BOUNCING UP
; | .' ...' AND DOWN I REALIZE THAT IT'S
'. \ .' ,' \\ TOTALLY CORRUPTING OUR (17+) CHILDREN
'. ;' .; \\
'. .' '-'
'.. .'
''' ARV
%
_
( \ SO IT TURNS OUT HOWIE MANDEL ISN'T DEAD
__ _)_\_ FOR SOME STRANGE REASON
' \;---.-._S_____2_
/ / /_/ (______ SO WHO KEEPS FEEDING THIS FUCKER
__( _;-' = =|____._'.__
/ _/ _ @\ _(@( '--.\ I THOUGHT WE ALL AGREED HE WAS
(_ / /\ _ =( ) ___ \\ TO BE EUTHANIZED (IT IS THE
/ /\ \_ '.___'-.___~. '\ ONLY HUMANE THING TO DO)
snd / /\ \__'--') '-.__c` \ |
| .' )___'--'/ /`) \ /
| |'-| _|--'\_(_/ '.'
| | \_ -\
\ | \ /`)
'._/ (_/
%
%%%%%% %%%%%%%%
%%%%% ,, %%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%
(< ?%%%%%%%%%%% WITH THIS PINCHED NERVE IN MY SHOULDER
~ % HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO PUNCH HOOKERS ?!?!?!?
___ //___
/ | GUESS I'LL HAVE TO LEARN TO DO IT LEFTY
'/ (* )( *) | ',
################## b'ger
""""""""""""""""""
%
_,________ MARRY ME ON THE 20TH OR ELSE ON
sjw _T _==____() THE 21ST I'M EATING THIS GUN
/##(_)-'
/##/ (NOT SHOOTING MYSELF, ACTUALLY EATING IT,
""" LIKE KLINGER DID IN M*A*S*H)
%
.$$$$$. .
|/())))) $)'\$==. %%%%%%\%%\ IS IT JUST ME OR DOES KARI FROM
/ ((((==) ') - $$$'===%%%%\'.| MYTHBUSTERS SERIOUSLY NEED MOLESTING
|((((( <( \-_/$$ )" _)%% )/|
| ())))_/._\._) //_.\_ %% ( / I MEAN YOU'D HAVE TO MAKE YOUR WAY
| \_) /.--._\___/__.-.\ (.' / THROUGH SCOTTIE FIRST (SHE DOESN'T
\_ ( __._'_..'.__. ) .' LIKE SHARING)
\ ) (_.(_)/( /
\\ / \ / \ // I MEAN LOOK THERE'S THE WELDING AND
) \ ). \ / ( THE TATTOOS BUT STILL SHE SEEMS
/ ' \ / \| ' \ WELL-USED AND ANYWAY HALF-HIPPIES
( | | / \/ | )_) ARE ALWAYS EASY TO TRICK
:-'-- /| / /| / \
_\| / | / .-' | / '. \ SHE'S A FREAKING FIRE BREATHER IN
_/ | / \| ( ( \ '.\ A CIRCUS SHOW PEOPLE
( ).'/ | | ) | | | \
/.' (_ / | / ) \'| |._) ANYWAY BACK TO KARI: HOT HOT HOT
.oO | / | \/ \| \ |
|( \ ) mrf)\ )_\
_____(__'-.___)/____..'__)___'._'.__
%
_
__/ /=\
\,/ |-|
_|___\_/_
|. |_
|. |:|
|. |/
|_________|
__|___|__
[_________]
,,,,, _|//
, , ;; ( /
< D =o YOU KNOW WHAT'S FUNNIEST ABOUT JON STEWART
|. / /\|
_____|><|_______/o / HOW HE'S GOING TO SQUEAL LIKE A GIRL
/ '==| :: |==' < / WHEN WE FINALLY STRING THAT FUCKER UP
/ \ < > /____/
/ _/\ | :: | /
\ ||_|____|/
|o| | x |
( \ / _'_ \
//// | \
| | |
| | |
| | |
\ _ | _ /
\ | /
\ | /
|_|_|
/o | o\
/o _|_ o\
(__/ \__) b'ger
%
\_/
'-0-' WHENEVER I SMELL FORMIC ACID I SCREAM "THEM"
--0--
.-0-.
\_/
'-0-'
--0--
.-0-.
\_/
'-0-'
--0-- IS THAT NORMAL
jgs .-0-.
%
YOU WON'T GO OUT WITH ME ??!?!?!?? *POW*
__________ __,___/ ",",

___.--" "\'. ____/ l \ ",'-,
------f" // \\\ \ (l\ \ \ \ \",
| ||| / u | \ \ \
| ||| _ ) / | | \
----L_-XXX-. .|' / U < | | |
"\ -<_____/// \ 6 ) | | |
\___) -" '. -.<" / / |
|'.___ | _._." /
| ./ _."." _."
/ |"----" _."
jjs \
I'M IN THIRD GRADE SO I SHOW STILL AFFECTION THROUGH VIOLENCE

%
______
_.' _..._\
_/ .'_..._ ' I'M WORRIED CHRIST ISN'T REAL AND HE WAS
.' / /.'==..=\: JUST INVENTED TO MAKE PEOPLE BUY PRESENTS
'._\ \\ O _O<'
_/_/ ._'._).'_
/ \_/ .=== \ \
\ | / |
\ \ \ | |/
'-._ | . /
'.\ / wtx
\__\
%
_ _______ _______ _
/_/_______/\-----/\_______\_\
/ /\ _ \ \---/ / _ /\ \ WHO ELSE WATCHES READING RAINBOW
/ / \ \_\ \ \-/ / /_/ / \ \ AND WANTS TO BEAT OFF UNTIL
/_/ /\ \_______\/-\/_______/ /\ \_\ GEORDI CAN'T SEE ANYMORE
/\ \ \/ / _ /\-/\ _ \ \/ / /\
/\ \ \ / /_/ / /-\ \ \_\ \ / / /\
/ \ \_\/_______/ /---\ \_______\/_/ / \
/ /\ \/\_\_______\/-----\/_______/_/\/ /\ \
\ \/ /\/_/_______/\-----/\_______\_\/\ \/ /
\ / / /\ _ \ \---/ / _ /\ \ \ /
\/ / / \ \_\ \ \-/ / /_/ / \ \ \/
\/_/ /\ \_______\/-\/_______/ /\ \_\/
\ \ \/ / _ /\-/\ _ \ \/ / /
\ \ / /_/ / /-\ \ \_\ \ / /
\_\/_______/ /---\ \_______\/_/
\_\_______\/-----\/_______/_/ LGB
%
.....
.' '. BLOGGERS RECORD KATRINA DESTRUCTION,
. . THEIR LOVE FOR BOBA FETT
: :
' '
,.*====. '. .' .====*.,
.-`"/c)}}}, :...: ,{{{(c\"`-.
_.-'-6> {{{{{'''` `'''}}}}} <9-'-._
t |}}}}}} {{{{{{| y
\__.___.'{{{{{{{ }}}}}}}'.___.__/
`[__/}}}}}}}} {{{{{{{{\__]`
{{{.' `'-._ _.-'` '.}}}
}}/ ``` \{{ MORE LIKE WET TUESDAY
{{| |}} AM I RIGHT FOLKS
}}| |{{
.------{{{\ , , /}}}------.
//.--------' ; ; '---------.\\
((/// _ \ / _ \\\))
(((--' `''-------'`'"'-----'"'`'-------''` '--))) jgs
%
~ ~
( o )o) OKAY WHEN I GET THE IMPORTED 12-PACKS OF BEER
( o )o )o) FROM THE LOCAL SAFEWAY WITH THE LITTLE PAPER
(o( ~~~~~~~~o CONTAINERS WHERE THE TOP FOLDS INTO A HANDLE
( )' ~~~~~~~' AND SO THE NECKS OF THE BOTTLES ARE EXPOSED,
( )|) |-. I FIGURE THAT AT SOME POINT IN THE DISTRIBUTION
o| _ |-. \ CHANNEL THE 12-PACKS ARE PHYSICALLY STORED
o| |_||_) | \ \ BELOW SOME OPEN BOX OF WRAPPED CANDIES BECAUSE
| | ||_) | | | USUALLY I FIND A CANDY OR TWO IN THE 12-PACK
o| | / / THAT APPARENTLY FELL IN THROUGH THE TOP AND
| |." " I'M PRETTY SURE THAT IT'S A SIGN THAT GOD
| |- ' IS REAL AND THAT HE LOVES ME (HOMMMOHPHHHHH CANDY)
mb .========.
%
),-. /\
<(a `---',' Q: WHY ARE HURRICANES NAMED AFTER BITCHES
( `-, ._> )
) _>.___/ A: DUH
_/
hjw
%
&&
&&&&&
&&&\/& &&&
&&|,/ |/& && I'M WAGING GLOBAL THERMONUCLEAR EDIT WARS
&&/ / /_& &&
\ { |_____/_&
{ / / &&&
`, \{___________/_&&
} }{ \
}{{ \____&
{}{ `&\&&
{{} &&
, -=-~{ .-^- _
`}
{ ejm
%
_____
, ___))
/ | 6 6
(___( _e BOBBY BROWN, TOMMY LEE
____/ /_
/ \ o\_/ \ ANYMORE WIFEBEATERS WE WANT TO SEE THE LIVES OF
/ /\' _ _)\ ?!?!?!?
/_< )____/\_\
___oo' ,ooooo,|_/ WELL NOT DAVID GEST I GUESS
-//,-( / |=/ (BECAUSE LIZA DESERVES IT)
| \ \
\ \
)_______\
/ ) / )
/ / ( |
| / \ |
_________ |/_______\|________.
= =
/( )\ b'ger
/,/ 7 \\_
%
.
\ | / I BUY THE ARGUMENT THAT GAYS CAN'T CONTROL
_\|/_ WHO THEY ARE ATTRACTED TO
.' ' ' '. ___
_.|.--.--.|.___.--'___`-.
.'.'|| | ||`----'"` ``'`
.'.' ||()|()||
.___..-'.' / \ BUT I DON'T BUY THE ARGUMENT THAT THEY CAN'T
`----'"` / .-. \ CONTROL LISPING, WEARING BUTTLESS PANTS,
(.'.(___).'.) HANDKERCHIEFS IN THEIR BACK POCKETS, GOING
`.__.-.__.' TO ANONYMOUS BATHHOUSES, BEING ON THE DOWN LOW,
jgs |_| |_| WEARING CONSTRUCTION, POLICEMAN, INDIAN,
`.`-'.' AND LEATHER UNIFORMS, OR STARRING IN REALITY
`"` TELEVISION SHOWS ON BRAVO SO COULD YOU
FUCKING FAGGOTS JUST CUT IT OUT PLEASE
%
THESE HO-HOS MAKE ME QUESTION THE EXISTENCE OF GOD
BECAUSE HE SURE DIDN'T MAKE THEM, WE DID
AND IF THAT'S THE CASE WHY DO WE EVEN BOTHER WITH HIM
__..-..__
______ | __""""===,,,,__ _ _
___| |--| | ,------/-/,_)
|______|--|______|/ PG
%
(\
(\ ,)
,) (\ ,) WOULD JARED JUST FALL OFF THE WAGON
(\ ,) ) , ) SO HE'LL GET THE FUCK OFF MY TV
) , ) ', , )
' , ) ' , , )
' , , ) ' , , )
' , , ) .' , , )
' , , ).' , , )
( , ,( , , )
' , ,' , , )
' , ,' , , )
' . ' ~ . , , )
. ' ` ., ) . ' ,
. ' ` . ' , ,)
. ` '. . ." , ,)
<` (o) " , ,)
`~. .~ ~ ~ " ' . . ` . , ,) LGB
` . . . . . ` ` . `
%
.-.
/ / ATTENTION GOTH MALES:
/. /
) /c\/ NAIL POLISH IS FOR GIRLS SO IF YOU PUT IT ON
( /'\/ IT DOESN'T MAKE YOU COOL OR EDGY OR REBELLIOUS
) / / IT JUST MAKES YOU AIDSLY GAY
( / /
) / / SO SUCK IT UP, HOMOS
( /. /
.`.'.Pru
%
.---.
/ /"\ \
)/a a$ I'VE GOT TO FIND ME AN HIV POSITIVE, TEENAGE,
( ( - ) ) JUNKIE HOOKER BECAUSE I'M NOT ANY OF THOSE THINGS
)_) (_( AND I FIGURE THE EXPERIENCE WILL ROUND ME OUT
.'\ /'.
/,(_\ /_),\ ASSISTED BY THESE HO-HOS HGHUHGHGLGHGKLHKBHK
\\ \ ^ / //
\\/ \//
(/-._.-$
| T |
| | |
\ | /
\ | /
jgs )|(
/ | \
`-`-'
%
_____
_____ |K WW|
_____ |Q ww| | {)|
_____ |J ww| | {(| |(v)%%| _____
|10 v || {)| |(v)%%| | v%%%||A_ _ |
|v v v||(v)% | | v%%%| |_%%%>||( v )|
|v v v|| v % | |_%%%O| | \ / |
|v v v||__%%[| | . |
|___0I| |____V|
STUDIES SHOW 50% OF ONLINE POKER PLAYERS ARE APPARENTLY

OBLIGATED TO USE NAMES AND AVATARS FROM THE MOVIE ROUNDERS
%
^
|
+
| THIS IS NO LONGER A CONSTITUTIONAL REPUBLIC
|
| I NOW DECLARE THIS TO BE A MOLESTOCRACY
|
|
A
=== ________
/EEE\ |______|
//EEE\\ |*( )*| ejm 97
___//_____\\_____________|O| |O|_______
%
\\\
(oO) I'M GOING TO EMPOWER MYSELF BY USING THE EPITHETS
/C \ "NERD" AND "GEEK" TO REFER TO MYSELF PROUDLY
/__/\\
\\__// JUST LIKE THE FAGGOTS AND BITCHES BEFORE ME
__> U<__
_\/_
Mparre
%
/\ __ THE FOUR FOOD GROUPS:
\ .-':::.
\ :::::|\
|,\:::'/ \ FAST FOOD
`.:::-' \
`-. \ ___ BOOZE
`-. | .-'';:::.
`-.-' / ',''.;;;\ PORN
| ','','.''|
AsH |\ ' ,',' /' SLEEP
`.`-.___.-;'
`--._.-'
(NOTE: SLEEP IS NOT TECHNICALLY FOOD)

%
.-._.--._
/ /
-. |
\ |__ IF YOU LET ME STICK MY DICK IN YOUR MOUTH
,-'______.-' YOU'LL BECOME MORE POWERFUL THAN YOU COULD
'( c-(_)(_)__ POSSIBLY IMAGINE
\ .._ . )
\ / `-'
/\-|\_
/-. \ /
( , o)\
| | o)\
c - _/\\
/ \ \=====|
| //======|
| / =====_/
|/\===/=/
)==)=)
(==|=|
| |=|______
(_.-. ) )
'--''-' [nabis]
%
\..,.-
.\ | __
.| .- / .; FOLKS ISN'T IT OBVIOUS THAT
_ _| \__/.. \ GERMANS ARE INCAPABLE OF
\ ...\| :_ CONTROLLING THEMSELVES
| \
/ /
-. |
\ \
__/ | I MEAN JESUS CHRIST OPEN
| / A FUCKING HISTORY TEXTBOOK
| \
/ |
\ . ,
\ ._-. .
/ __.-/
| \
\ \ IF GOD DIDN'T WANT US TO WATCH
\ \ THEM CAREFULLY TO MAKE SURE THEY
...,. \ DON'T START SPONTANEOUSLY
/ \. GOOSESTEPPING HE WOULDN'T HAVE
/ ,. NAMED THEM "GERMANS"
/ ./
| |
\,......,__ __, __.-. . I'M STARTING A NEW COMPANY CALLED
\/ -/ .. PUNCH-A-GERMAN, WANT TO INVEST
-dj1yfk
%
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Z9899949TaaaaaTT89gZddddqqXXXFRQFQFQQRFQQRFFRFFQQ
dZbdbbPGP99T4a499Z6dqqqXXXmpFmFFRQQFKKFAFQQKFFQQQ
dbmAAAAAQFQKRFmFFQQQFRQAQFFRQQRmQRKKKAAKKQAAAQQQQ
DbmBABAD ' '''' ``` `'') '''`` ```.RQmRRRXpRm
mRFBNBKD``''---..,.--.!!'`''----'--''``(BFQRQRmRR NOTHING FUNNY HAS
RmFNNBA9 `'`-?F0000dRRp'''`'aqZPbpe''''"EKAKKRRRQ HAPPENED ON THIS
RXKBNBAb'`''``'''''BFFm!'`'``'` -`'` ìBQQRRRRRm SHOW SINCE DR. GREEN
mRFNBBBq''''!bgddPmAAFQ,''` ,,``''`')o9FFAFFQFmmQ DIED OF AIDS
RRKNNNBD'``'''`---'-'',:''`'sADi'` ''-aKABBQARKQR
RFQNNBBK`'`''```` ``'`'('` `9NARDa' '`' uEQAAKQQR
mFQENNNBBAAKKAKQKKKFRAQBAQQQABNBNBAKAAKAABNBBBAAA
RRpFFFXDDddddGdqRQXFFFQQFKQQQKAKQKKKAQKAAAAAAKKFK
RXRpD6dGg9g9996DDDqmRmXmRmFQFFFRFQFFQFQQKQFKQKQQQ
RqXpD6dZGgg96PZddDdqqpDDqqQFRmmXRmRRQRRFFFQRQKFQK
%
,%/7\\`
(/// .\\)
(((( - ))) I JUST WANT TO BE HELD, CUDDLED, STRANGLED,
((|)_*_/((( LEFT FOR DEAD, THEN MIRACULOUSLY SAVED
))(/) (\((|) BY A STRANGER AND THEN, AFTER A BRIEF PAUSE,
((((\___/))(\ MOLESTED EVEN WORSE BY HIM AND THEN MURDERED
/ ,-) (-. \
( ( ( _ _ ) ) )
\ \ )^ ^ ^( / /
) y y (
\( )/
\_______/
\ / /
y /
( '
\ \
\ y-._
hjw |\,' X-'
_,T-) /
(__,-%_/
%
\. ./
\\ // IF I HAD MY WAY I WOULD PASS LEGISLATION WHICH
\\ // WOULD MAKE THIS COUNTRY SAFE FROM PUFFIES
\`-'/
CJ `-'
%
)\
(_/
.-#-| |-#-.
__|__|_.#' BEATOFF ISLE (AISLE)
.' | | .
'#--| |-#'
xemu_|__|
%
_
(`
). _
( ). .:(` )`.
_( '`. :( . )
.=(`( . ) .-- `. ( ) )
.--. (( (..__.:'-' .+( ) ` _` ) )
_( `. `( ) ) ( . ) ( ) ._
( ) ` __.:' ) ( ( )) `-'.-(` )
( ` . ) ) ( ) --' `- __.' :( ))
`--(___.-' (_.' .') `( ) ))
(_ ) ` __.:'
..-----.----..,___.--,--'`,---..-.--+--.,,-,,..._.--..-._.-a:f--.
THAT CLOUD IS SHAPED LIKE LOVE

%
_
"-_
"-_
_ ,"-_ _.-"""""-._
"-._( :-. ,' `.
"-._( ) ,' `. LAXATIVE ABUSE
"`-' / ,'\ \
/ \,' \
( )
| |
| |
( )
\ /
\ /
`. ,'
`. ,'
`-._____.-'
-shimrod
%
_,,........._
`-. ,,---------.
| ,' \
/ / |
,' | |
/ | /
,' \ /
/ '-..______.--'
`...-
`-._____
_-
|
' '-\.
,' ' '''''---...___
,' ________,....."'
,' \
`"---------- |
L tQn
I TITLE THIS ONE: RETRIBUTION

%
.--------. NOBODY KNOWS WHAT YOU DO TO ME
____/_____|___ \___ AND NOBODY'S PAST IS HISTORY
O _ - | _ ,* BUT THE THING THEY SHOULD KNOW SEEMS TO BE
Dani '--(_)-------(_)--' THAT IT'S NOBODY'S BUSINESS AT ALL
%
.- m\
(( ` /|\ /| REMEMBER BACK WHEN AIDS WAS CALLED GRID
__.'/ /'_ AND IT WAS STILL LEGAL TO FAGBASH
,.^"--'_-'| /(//
)))) |\ ) !/ )
(((( È)|/ (
/ \ ` )
/ ' \ ` (
/ ' \ `)
/ ' (\
/ ______.' \
/_.-' /_/ \_\
/, '-.__ (_`__
ejm |`_
%
I WANT OFF THIS BANG BUS
.---------------------------.
/,--..---..---..---..---..--. `.
//___||___||___||___||___||___\_|
[j__ ######################## [_|
\============================|
.==| |"""||"""||"""||"""| |"""||
/======"---""---""---""---"=| =||
|____ []* ____ | ==||
// \\ // \\ |===|| hjw
"\__/"---------------"\__/"-+---+'
%
<<<<$Oo===) I SLEEP IN THE NUDE
/\ ### < ____/ JUST IN CASE THE POLICE
</\\_ / _ \ ( )^^^^/ COME FOR ME AT NIGHT
\ \ / / \ \ ( |
\ \_/ / \ \_( | THEN I'LL BE READY
( ) ( /
\___/ \__/ LET'S ROLL (TAKES OFF TOP)
%
_ @@@
(") @(")@
_H_ _H_ ONE TWO THREE FOUR
/. .\ /C D\
//|.|\\ /').(/ I DECLARE A CUDDLE PARTY
' |U| `' ( v )
||| \|/
||| (|)
'-` '-`
VK
%
[\ CURE PREMATURE EJACULATION ?!?!?!?!?!?!?!
.----' `-----.
//^^^^;;^^^^^^`\
_______//_____||_____()_\________
/826 : : ___ `\ WHY IN THE WORLD WOULD I WANT
|> ____; ; |/\><| ____ _<) TO CURE IT ?!?!
{____/ \_________________/ \____}
\ '' / \ '' / IT'S MY GREATEST ASSET
jgs '--' '--'
%
,sdPBbs.
,d$$$$$$$$b. LOOK THERE'S LISA FROM THE
d$P'`Y'`Y'`?$b BLOODHOUND GANG !!!!
d' ` ' \ `b
/ | \ \
/ / \ | \ THIRD APPEARANCE FOLKS
_,--' | \ |
/' _/ \ | \
_/' /' | \ `-.__
__/' ,-' / | | \ `--...__
/' / | / \ \ `-. `\
/ /;;,,__-' / / \ \ `-.
/ |;;;;;;;\ pb \
%
.-._.--._
/ /
-. | JOHN TURTURRO IS REALLY UGLY
\ |__ WHY DOES HE KEEP GETTING WORK
,-'______.-'
'( c-(_)(_)__
\ .._ . )
\ / `-'
/\-|\_
/-. \ /
( , o)\
| | o)\
c - _/\\
/ \ \=====|
| //======|
| / =====_/
|/\===/=/
)==)=)
(==|=|
| |=|______
(_.-. ) )
[nabis] '--''-'
%
_____
/ \
vvvvvvv /|__/| I'M OFFENDED THAT YOUR PUBLICATION
I /O,O | CALLED RUSSELL CROWE A TALENTLESS CUNT
I /_____ |
J|/^ ^ ^ \ | HE WAS REALLY QUITE GOOD IN ROMPER STOMPER
|^ ^ ^ ^ |W| AND L.A. CONFIDENTIAL YOU KNOW
\m___m__|_|
%
_--_
/ \
( ** )
\ /
| | ........_ ____,,,..---
| | |:::::::::"::?????::::=::::::::::|
| | ,|:::::::::":::::::::::=::::::::::|
| | |:::::::::":::::::::::=:::::::::::|?
| |'^^*|;;;;;;;;_";:::::::::;=------;;;;;/
| | ```-----'''
| |
| | PRETTY SURE BAVARIA IS WHERE THEY'RE
| | HIDING ALL THE HITLER CLONES
| |
| |
| |
| |
| |
| |
| |
| |
| |
| |
| |
| |
| |
| |
| |
| |
\\| |//
??????????????????~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
%
... .....xxxxxxxxxx.....x##****#x..x#***#x..x#*
... .....xxxxxxx####****##x....x#***#x..x#**#x..x#
... ...................xx#****#x...x#***#...x#**#...
.... ... .....xxxxxxxx....x#****#x..x#**#x..x#**#..
... .... .. .....xxxx###*****#x...x#***#...x#*#x...###x.
... ...... .... ............xx#****#x..x#**#x..x#*#x...x##x
.. ..... ..... .... ...xxxxx....x#***x...x#*#x..x###x..xx##
.. ...... ..... ..... .. ...xx##****#x..x#**#...x###...x##x...x##
....xx......x.. ...... ..... .....xx#***x...###x...x##x...x#xx...xx
....xx.....xx.....xx........ .... ..xx...x###x...x#x....xxx....xxx...xx
...xxxx...xxx....xxx....xx.....xx.. .. .**#x...xxx....xx....xxx....xxx....x
...xxxx...x#x....x#x...x##x...x##x..x#**.......xxx...x##x...x##x..x##x...x#
...x##x...x##x...x##x..x###x..x#*#x...xx. ........xxx....xxx...xx#x...x#
x..x###...x##x...x##x...#**#x..x***#x.... .. .........xx....xxx....xx
x...x##x..x#*#x..x#**x..x#**#x..x#***##xx... ..... ...x.....xxx....xx
#x..x#*#x..x#*#x..x#**#...#***#x....xxxx... . ..... ..x......xx
*#...x**#x..x**#x..x#**#x..x#****#xx...... ..... ...... .....
**x...#**#x..x***x...#***#x...x##**###xxx...... ..... ......
#**x..x#**#x..x#**#x..x#****#x.....xxxxx..... .... ......
x#**#...#***x..x#***#x...x#****#xx......... .... .....
.x#**#x..x***#x..x#***#x....x########xxxxx........ ... .
..x#***x..x#***#x..x#****#xx......xxxxxxx...... ..
WHAT KIND OF A GOD
%
,---') FOLKS THIS IS NOT HOW
( -_-( WE WON THE ALAMO
) .__/ )
_/ _/_( / _.---._
(__/ _ _) ,-._ / o \
//)__(\/,-` |_| O o o O|
_\\///==o=\' |O o o O |
`-' \ / \O o o/
)___\ `'-.-\\
/ ,\ \ ____)_(____
/ / \ \ '--..---,,--'
/() >() \\_//
gnv |\_\ |\_\ /,-.\
%
_..-------++._
_.-'/ | _|| \"--._
__.--'`._/_\j_____/_||___\ `----.
_.--'_____ | \ _____ /
_j /,---.\ | =o | /,---.\ |_
[__]==// .-. \\==`===========/==// .-. \\=[__]
`-._|\ `-' /|___\_________/___|\ `-' /|_.' hjw
`---' `---'
DICE AND EA HAD TO CRIPPLE THE USMC AND MEC PLAYERS' DRIVING
ABILITIES SO THAT THINGS WOULD BE MORE FAIR FOR THE PLA
%
___ //////
(__|_______--/| / ///
__/ +--+| |-\| (> )/
|_|ooo+--+|_| /_ /
`-------' |_, //
|___/
GREAT THINGS ABOUT BEING ...... SICK AND TIRED OF FAGGOT SHIT ON BRAVO
ALSO I'M PRETTY SURE THAT PBS IS A FAGGOT CHANNEL BUT AT LEAST
IT'S A LITTLE MORE SUBTLE ABOUT IT
I MEAN YOU CAN BE RELIABLY INFORMED THAT PBS SUCKS A COCK OR TWO
BEHIND CLOSED DOORS IN THE PRIVACY OF ITS OWN HOME
BUT HOLY GOD BRAVO'S JUST THERE WITH ITS MOUTH OPEN AND THE DICKS
ALL AROUND AND SPIT AND JIZZ EVERYWHERE
BASICALLY WHAT I'M SAYING IS THAT BRAVO'S THE TV VERSION OF GAG FACTOR
%
+-----------------------------------------------------------------------------+
| | |\ -~ / \ / |
|~~__ | \ | \/ /\ /|
| -- | \ | / \ / \ / |
| |~_| \ \___|/ \/ / |
|--__ | -- |\________________________________/~~\~~| / \ / \ |
| |~~--__ |~_|____|____|____|____|____|____|/ / \/|\ / \/ \/|
| | |~--_|__|____|____|____|____|____|_/ /| |/ \ / \ / |
|___|______|__|_||____|____|____|____|____|__[]/_|----| \/ \ / |
| \mmmm : | _|___|____|____|____|____|____|___| /\| / \ / \ |
| B :_--~~ |_|____|____|____|____|____|____| | |\/ \ / \ |
| __--P : | / / / | \ / \ /\|
|~~ | : | / ~~~ | \ / \ / |
| | |/ .-. | /\ \ / |
| | / | | |/ \ /\ |
|BM | / | | -_ \ / \ |
+-----------------------------------------------------------------------------+
| | /| | | 2 3 4 | /~~~~~\ | /| |_| .... ......... |
| | ~|~ | % | | | ~J~ | | ~|~ % |_| .... ......... |
+-----------------------------------------------------------------------------+
ARE WE GOING TO WAIT IN LINE THE NIGHT BEFORE DOOM THE MOVIE OPENS
TO GET TICKETS ?!?!?!?!?
WHAT DO YOU MEAN THERE WON'T BE A LINE
OH
%
,'";-------------------;"`.
;[]; ................. ;[];
; ; ................. ; ; FREE
; ; ................. ; ;
; ; ................. ; ; AS
; ; ................. ; ;
; ; ................. ; ; IN
; ; ................. ; ;
; `. ,' ; ILLEGALLY
; """"""""""""""""" ;
; ,-------------.---. ; DOWNLOADED
; ; ;""; ; ; ;
; ; ; ; ; ; ; MOVIES, MUSIC, AND PORN ?!?!?!?
; ; ; ; ; ; ;
;//||; ; ; ; ;||;
;\\||; ;__; ; ;\/; WOULD YOU OPEN SOURCE FAGGOTS JUST STOP
`. _; _ ; _; ; AND LISTEN TO YOURSELVES FOR A SECOND
PK " """"""""""" """"" """
%
,-'-. _.,
. ( '("'-' ').
( ' (( |. )\/( ) HURRICANE KATRINA: 900 POINTS
'( )) | () |" | | ')
( . ,-. ,-.. __.) STOMPY IRAQI FEET: 800 POINTS
/) / ' /
PjP / /) / / IT'S NECK AND NECK PEOPLE
%
_____
|\ ~ /|
|}}:{{| SO WHEN I SAY I FLOPPED THE NUTS
|}}:{{| _____ I SERIOUSLY WASN'T KIDDING FOLKS
|}}:{{| |Joker|
|/_~_\| |==%, |
| \/>\|
ejm98 | _>^^| _____
_____ |/_\/_| _____ |6 |
|2 | _____ |5 || ^ ^ |
| ^ ||3 | _____ | ^ ^ || ^ ^ | _____
| || ^ ^ ||4 || ^ || ^ ^ ||7 |
| ^ || || ^ ^ || ^ ^ ||____9|| ^ ^ | _____
|____Z|| ^ || ||____S| |^ ^ ^||8 | _____
|____E|| ^ ^ | | ^ ^ ||^ ^ ^||9 |
|____h| |____L|| ^ ^ ||^ ^ ^|
|^ ^ ^||^ ^ ^|
|____8||^ ^ ^|
|____6|
%
. . A.I. !!!!!!!!!! PROOF THAT EVEN STEVEN SPIELBERG
+ : . TAKES BIG STUPID USELESS DUMPS OF A MOVIE (YOU
: _ KNOW LIKE THAT TALENTLESS HACK GEORGE LUCAS)
. ! ' (_)
,|.' HEY I HAVE AN IDEA !!!! HOW ABOUT A ROBOT WHICH
- -- ---(-O-`--- -- - FEELS LOVE !!! THAT WAY IT CAN SUFFER FOR OUR
,`|'`. ENTERTAINMENT IN AN ATTEMPT TO MAKE A POINT WHICH
, ! . IS SUPPOSED TO BE TOUCHING BUT INSTEAD IS JUST
: : " RIDICULOUS
. --+--
.: . ! FOLKS IT'S EPIC SCIENCE FICTION BY PEOPLE WHO
WOULDN'T KNOW EPIC SCIENCE FICTION IF IT MET THEM
IN THE GROCERY STORE, WENT ON A FEW DATES WITH
O!o THEM, FINALLY GOT THE NERVE TO GO ALL THE WAY
AND WHEN ULTIMATELY ITS ADVANCES WERE REJECTED,
RAPED AND KILLED THEM SAYING DURING THEIR LAST
LIVING MOMENTS, "I AM EPIC SCIENCE FICTION AND
YOU'RE NOT !!! DIE MOTHERFUCKER"
OKAY SORRY I GOT SIDETRACKED A LITTLE THERE AND

RAN OUT OF SCENERY
SORRY
%
# I'M A COMMENT
// I'M A COMMENT TOO
/* WE NEVER LANDED ON THE MOON */
(* THE HOLOCAUST WAS FAKED *)

REM THE GOVERNMENT IS RUN BY REPTILIAN ALIENS
' THE 9/11 ATTACKS WERE A TRICK TO TAKE AWAY OUR LIBERTIES
; ALIENS CREATED THE PYRAMIDS NOT THE EGYPTIANS
~ HITLER'S CLONES ARE ALIVE AND WELL IN COLD STORAGE IN BAVARIA
o< SEE AS A SOFTWARE ENGINEER I JUST PUT MY CONSPIRACY THEORIES IN

COMMENTS IN THE CODE I'M WRITING AS WORK FOR HIRE !!! THAT WAY
THEY WILL NEVER DIE
BY THE WAY THE LAST COMMENT IS FOR LOGO !!!!
REPEAT 4 [FORWARD 10 FUCK OFF]

%
__________________
.-' \ _.-''-._ / '-. MY CHIEF INGREDIENT IS CONFLICT DIAMONDS
.-/\ .'. .'. /\-.
_'/ \.' '. .' './ \'_
:======:======::======:======:
'. '. \ '' / .' .'
'. . \ : : / . .'
'.' \ ' ' / '.'
': \: :/ :'
'. \ / .'
'.\ /.'
miK '\/'
%
.-. ,
`._ , LOOK I REALLY DON'T HAVE ANYTHING
\ \ o AGAINST OASIS OR CHAMPAGNE SUPERNOVA
\ `-,. (IN FACT I'VE NEVER HEARD IT OR ANYTHING
.'o . `.[] o BY THEM)
<~- - , ,[].'.[] ~> ___
: : (-~.) BUT SO HELP ME GOD IF THAT SONG TITLE
` ' `|' KEEPS INTERFERING WITH MY P2P SEARCHES
` ' | FOR BLACK PORN STARS I'M DECLARING WAR
`-. .-' | ON BRITAIN
-----{. _ _ .}-------------------
%
..
.....
.......=] GOD BLESS DOMINOS PIZZA !!!!
.....==[~==.
.....======..= ENABLING DRUNK LISTLESS AMERICANS IN 30 MINUTES
....===O=~~=....~ OR LESS
....=.===={#==~====.
.....=[.==)=======.==== IF ANYONE SAYS THIS COUNTRY ISN'T THE
.....==.(]====~===.==(=== GREATEST IN THE WORLD, PUNCH THEM SQUARE
....====)==.#..=[=~&==(=.=. IN THE MOUTH BEFORE YOU PASS OUT
.....~.=.=======.&#======.=.==
....=====~@=.=$========~O===R==~
....~=====]==.~====.===!====.====
....===.H=.=.==.~.=..H=~===~==H=~~=
....$=.=[.====~===~RO=H==.~=====~===.
.....=={=={==.=.========.]=.~.=$.===~. TS
%
,--._ _
"'. '. ,';
) '. ,' /
_/ '. ,' '.
-"__ '.; / ,`' ,-`
\ / ( ,===. _`. )
/__ `.__//.' \\/_.-`
'-,._.- \ \_/\\ ,-.
\.- / \_\\/||
_/\\ :o o :-'/;.`.
_,";-,;| :/"\ : // ||))
_..."((|_//||-.._\"// `` ;;''
/,-----"||" '' \`._
// ,'| `-.`-..._
:: ,',' '.__.=
:: ||| _
\\_ "" )) I'M THE UNRESTRAINED ID IN UPPERCASE
\_"--....';
'""---"' SSt
%
_ _{Ss
//\\_/_/\Ss WHEN I SEE THE ABBREVIATION "DP" I THINK "CLASS"
pb _/_| \_/ \_
%
___
//)))))
)))@_@) EXCUSE ME I'M A *CALL GIRL* NOT A *HOOKER*
((( = )
))) -(_ __
/ `-'\\ /,\\\`
/__| )y |
< \ (\_/
`.\ \
{>>>` |
/`-'\____|
/ c \\ /
(C \_ _))\
`-'-._/ \
/ /\ \
/ ,' `. \
/ / \ \
<\_\_ \ \ WHATEVER TITS (FACEFUL)
`---` (_`-\_
`---' hjw
%
_"_ %
(< ? YOU MAKE ME A BETTER MAN
` " (THANKS TO THE PUNCHING PRACTICE)
__||___
|\___//_\
(' | ') \\
__|\ , / |/
/: / \ ::
\| ######o /|
######## \)
########
\ : /
\: /
--
%%%
%%
%
/:\
|/|, b'ger
%
_. ._
.!' '!.
.!' '!. I FEEL IT'S MY RESPONSIBILITY TO LEAD THE CHARGE
:!. '!' .!: AND GET THE STROGG ALPHABET ADDED TO UNICODE
:!:..!..:!:
'!!!!!!!'
!
:!:
%
_____
___/ \___
`-._) (_,-`
\O _ O/
\ - / SPIELBERG JOINS EA
`-(
||
_||_ SEQUEL TO DAIKATANA EXPECTED BEFORE 2007
|-..-|
|/. \|
|\__/|
._|//\\|_,
`-(( ))-'
__\\//__ gnv
>_ /\ _<,
' '
%
.-'"'-.
/ `. ,' \
| ,' `. |
| ___ | MY NEIGHBORS ARE BARBECUING SOME FUCKED UP FISH THING
\ ( . ) / THAT IS MAKING MY EYES BURN IT'S SO NASTY
'-.:.-'
.:. THEREFORE IN RETALIATION I WILL BURN THEIR CHILDREN
:::
::: LOOK IF THEY DIDN'T WANT AN ESCALATION MAYBE THEY
::. SHOULD HAVE GIVEN MORE CAREFUL THOUGHT ABOUT WHAT
':: THEY WERE COOKING FOR DINNER FIRST
lf '
FREE FIRE ZONE IN THE BATHROOM FOLKS
%
__ ,-/ FRET NOT MY DEAR, I'VE TAKEN THE LIBERTY OF
." \ `. / ( CREATING A STOCKPILE OF EMERGENCY PORN
( \\`\\_|_; \ (IN CASE OF THE BIRD FLU)
\\ _,' // ) ``)
`/ // /// ',/ BIRD FLU REDUCES YOUR ABILITY TO BEAT OFF
(// /_,'_,-' BECAUSE YOU CAN'T CHOKE YOURSELF
jrei `'-'.l_l_
%
.-.
[.-''-., KATHY GRIFFIN HOSTS BRAVO'S REALITY ALL
| //`~\) ST-- GOUGING MY EYES OUT BEFORE THEY
(<| 0\0|>_ CAN EVEN FINISH THE FUCKING TITLE
";\ _"/ \\_ _,
__\|'._/_ \ '='-,
/\ \ || )_///_\>>
( '._ T |\ | _/),-'
'. '._.-' /'/ |
| '._ _.'`-.._/
snd ,\ / '-' |/
[_/\-----j
_.--.__[_.--'_\__
/ `--' '---._
/ '---. -'. .' _.-- '.
\_ '--.___ _;.-o /
'.__ ___/______.__8----'
%
( )
( ) ( THIS STEAMING PILE OF SHIT IS MY TRIBUTE TO WIKIPEDIANS
) _ ) EVERYWHERE !!!!! KEEP UP THE HARD WORK MAKING UNRELIABLE,
( \_ FADDISH, NEEDLESSLY CONTROVERSIAL, NON-FACT-CHECKED TURDS
_(_\ \)__
(____\___)) TO WIKIPEDIANS !!!!!!!!!!!!!!! OR AS I CALL THEM WIKIPEDOS
%
. '@(@@@@@@@)@. (@@) ` . '
. @@'((@@@@@@@@@@@)@@@@@)@@@@@@@)@ KATRINA ??!?!?!?
@@(@@@@@@@@@@))@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@)@@` .
@.((@@@@@@@)(@@@@@@@@@@@@@@))@\@@@@@@@@@)@@@ . RITA !?!?!?!??
(@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@)@@@@@@@@@@@\\@@)@@@@@@@@)
(@@@@@@@@)@@@@@@@@@@@@@(@@@@@@@@//@@@@@@@@@) ` WILMA ?!?!?!?!?
.@(@@@@)##&&&&&(@@@@@@@@)::_=(@\\@@@@)@@ . .'
@@`(@@)###&&&&&!!;;;;;;::-_=@@\\@)@`@.
` @@(@###&&&&!!;;;;;::-=_=@.@\\@@ '
` @.#####&&&!!;;;::=-_= .@ \\
####&&&!!;;::=_- ` EVER WONDER WHY THEY NAME
###&&!!;;:-_= HURRICANES AFTER BITCHES
##&&!;::_=
##&&!;:=
##&&!:-
#&!;:-
#&!;=
#&!-
#&=
jgs #&- YES I KNOW THIS IS A DRAWING OF A TORNADO, FUCK YOU
\\#/'
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
%
/^\/^\
\----| ON MY OPEN SOURCE PROJECT I'M GOING TO GIVE
_---'---~~~~-_ EACH RELEASE A SEPARATE CODE NAME BECAUSE
~~~|~~L~|~~~~ WHEN IT COMES RIGHT DOWN TO IT I'M NO
(/_ /~~-- BETTER THAN A PEDOPHILE
\~ \ / /~
__~\ ~ / ~~----,
\ | | / \
/| |/ | |
| | | o o /~ |
_-~_ | || \ /
(// )) | o o \\---'
//_- | | \
// |____|\______\__\
~ | / | |
|_ / \ _|
/~___| /____\
%
_____
_.-' `-._
./ / \ \.
/ / \ `\
,'\|. / | \ .!`\
/ | `.|. . . ..|!' \ I'M GOING
// | `.||`|.|'|!'|.'/ | TO DIE SOON
.| /\. ` ` ' ' ___./|
,/ / \---.____.---' ..| \
// // / | .'" | \\
/ / | -----. .--- |\ |'
,' / / | -(o) (o) | |
.// / // |' \ |\\`|
| / /// \, ; | \ \
.| / / // |\ ' |\\ \\
./ / // / / | \ .----. ./`--._|
/` / // / _-' \ `-. `--' / `---.
/' / / / -'' `. `-.__.-'. \
/ / / /' \
| / / /' ./ ` |
| // /' . |
| / / /' . ' /
| / / - ' . .'
\ / | .' |
`\ | / /
`\ | / /
/'| | /
.,-' \ . \ .'
_.-' | ! \ \/
./ . `: | | |
./ | ! |\ (*|
/' | | |/\ _/
/ . | .' .' |`-._.-' |
/ '\ / / .' ,'
| | ,/\ (*) .' | |
| .. | / `-._-' \. | !'
| `- \../ / / `\| .'
| / /.' `. |
\ / / `\ !
\ / ."`\ \ .'
\ ,' / `-. \ !
`\ .| / `\. \|
`\ / / `\ \
`\ ! / `\ \
`-..' / `. \
\ / : \ `
\| / \ |
| .`\. \ /
.' /_ `\. | ./
/ / `\ `-. |---'
./ | `\ \ /
//// /\ \ `\_ - /' :F_P:
( ((( \_\ `--.______.__,/'
` `\\
`'
%
_____
| D IF GOD HADN'T INVENTED TOILETS BEFORE THE DAWN OF TIME
| | THEN I'D HAVE TO GET OFF MY DUFF AND INVENT THEM
| |
\___| _
|| _______ -( (- SO PRAISE JESUS PEOPLE
|_'(-------) '-'
| /
_____,-\__..__|_____Pr59
%
_.._..,_,_
( ) YOU KNOW WHAT'S GREAT ABOUT BEER ?!?!?!?
]~,"-.-~~[
.=])' (; ([
| ]:: ' [
'=]): .) ([
|:: ' | THE FACT THAT IT GOES IN ME
PMH ~~----~~
%
::: =, ; PLUTO HAS THREE MOONS !?!?!??!?!?!
;;=;;=== M
,=YVRMBBMMR=, :i= MAJOR BLOW STRUCK TO GROUP OF AVID
:iVRRMMMMMMBMMM :=; ==;====== AMATEURS WHO WISH TO DEMOTE
=tYMMMMMMBBMMM;=Y ,::;==iMMMMMMMMMM PLUTO FROM PLANETARY STATUS
tYVBBMMVMMMM =; .,,,::;;=YVBBMMMMMMMMM
tYVVYRMMM;=ti ...,,,;::==iMVMMMMMMMMMMMM
=tYRBM;;tVB, ...., ,::;====YVBMMMMMMMMMM
,=t =tYVRB, .....,,,,=:;:;;i=VYMMRMMMMMMMM
,===iYVVRY .....,,,;,,,,,:;;==t=RBMMMMMMMMM
... .......,,,,,,,,,:;;==Y=tYMMMMMMMM
. ....,,,,,,,,,,,,,:;;;==YYMRMMMMMM;
.,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,::;;;=YtVBMMMMM
.,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,::;;i=RiRMMMMM MEANWHILE .......
.,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,:::;;=iYBBMM
.,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,::;;;;tVB THE REST OF THE ASTRONOMICAL
M .,,,,,,,,,,,,:,,,::;;= COMMUNITY STILL COULDN'T GIVE A
M .,,,,,,,,,,,,,:,:: SHIT !!!!!!!!!!!
`,,,,,,,
THE MAP IS NOT THE TERRITORY
%
__ __ YAY NOW WE HAVE OUR VERY OWN ACRONYM
.' `'._.'` '. WHICH DESCRIBES OUR GROSS PREFERENCES
| .--; ;--. |
| ( / \ ) | GLBT GLBT GLBT GBLT TLBG LGBT LBGT BLTG
\ ;` /^\ `; /
:` .'._.'. `; EVEN THE ACRONYM SOUNDS LIKE YOU'RE
jgs '-`'.___.'`-' CHOKING IT ON DOWN
MIGHT I SUGGEST ALSO INCLUDING

PEDOPHILES, INCESTUOUS RELATIVES, AND
CORPSE FUCKERS !?!?!?!?
GLBTPIN
OH WAIT I FORGOT FURRIES IN THERE:
GLBTPINF
COPROPHAGES MAYBE ?!??!?!?!
GLBTPINFC
GET A FUCKING ROOM YOU CREEPS

%
#####
/ ##### IS IT JUST ME OR HAVE ROGER EBERT'S
[===#### MOVIE REVIEWS GOTTEN LESS INTERESTING
/_ )### NOW THAT HIS THROAT CANCER DUMPED HIM
|_ ##
L / |
_.-' `-._
/ \
| Y Y |
| | | |
| | | |
| | | |
| ) ( |
. ( Y ) ,
[~~~~~~~~~~~~~|
| _________ |
| | | | | | | |
| | | | | | | |
| | ( ) ( ) | |
| | ) ( ) ( | |
| |-._)_(_.-| |
| _________ |
| | | |
| | | |
| | | |
|_| dp|_|
%
_ @@@
(") @(")@ WHY AREN'T ALL YOU PEOPLE ON EHARMONY.COM YET ??!?!?
_H_ _H_
/. .\ /C D\ DON'T YOU REALIZE THAT IT'S THE ONLY WAY YOU'LL EVER
//|.|\\ /').(/ BE LOVED ?!??!?!
' |U| `' ( v )
||| \|/ WHAT ARE YOU STUPID SIGN UP NOW
||| (|)
'-` '-` EACH DAY YOU PUT IT OFF JUST MEANS THAT THE ONE OR TWO
PEOPLE ALIVE IN THE WORLD WHO MIGHT POSSIBLY LOVE YOU
VK COULD DIE
%
/######\
/##########\ ANNE RICE CRITICIZES KATRINA RESPONSE ?!?!?!
/ \###/ \
/ \#/ \ YOU KNOW I'D HAVE THOUGHT IT'D BE A
/\| |/\ DIFFERENT ANNE RICE BUT NOPE IT'S THAT ONE
| | \ ==\ /== / | |
\| \<|>\ /<|>/ |/ /| HEY I HAVE AN IDEA
\__ | - \ - | /#|
\#\ | | | /###| LET'S GIVE THIS MICROPHONE TO A
\##\ | \| | /#####| MORON AND SEE WHAT THEY SAY
\###\ | _______ | /######|
\####\ | / \/ \/ \|/#######|
|######\| |#########|
|########\______/##########|
|#########\ /##########/
|##########\ |#########/\ WOW
/###########\/########/###\
VW /################\######/########\ SOMETHING MORONIC, NOT WHAT
/##################\###/###########\ I EXPECTED
/###################\#/##############\
/####################/#################\
/###################/####################\
%
.-. .-.
.-|U|-. .-| |-. LET'S CUT TO THE CHASE HERE
|U| |U| | | | |
| | | |-. | | | |-. IF YOU ARE A GUY, AND YOU PAINT
| | | |U| | | | | | YOUR FINGERNAILS, THEN YOU ARE A HOMO
| | | | | |_|_|_| |
/| ` | / ) `-| NO IFS, ANDS, OR BUTS
| | | | | `-- |
| | | || | IS ANYTHING UNCLEAR TO ANYONE
\ / \ ' / ABOUT THAT
| | | |
| | VK | |
%
__
_-"" ""-_ IF JESUS WERE ALIVE TODAY WHO
; / \ WOULD HE SAY IS THE BETTER
<'--__ ; ; | ; o | * STARSHIP CAPTAIN: KIRK OR PICARD
,,-, <'--__<'--_|_<'--__,-_/\.###
,,-, ,-,,| ,,-, `-__/___)
\_ _/
-__ __-
"" Faroul
%
....
S,, SS
S(< ?SS
SS ~ SSS MITOCHONDRIAL EVE WAS A WHORE
|// __S_/ /_SSSS
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|\/ (. )( .)SS\S
| \/ | SSS \
\ / S| SSS \ \
` SS/ , SSSS | /
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S| SS/ S /S
~~~~~~~| S/ ,SS~~~~~~~~~~ b'ger
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
%
.
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.OOOOOO Ò .OOOOOOO. / .. |
.OOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOO/\ \____/
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.OOOOOOO%%OOOOOOOOOOOOO(#/\ /.
.OOOOOO%%%OOOOOOOOOOOOOOO\ \\ \/OO.
.OOOOO%%%%OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO\ \/OOOO.
OOOOO%%%%OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO\_\/\OOOOO
OOOOO%%%OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO\###)OOOO
OOOOOO%%OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
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.-~~\OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO'
/ _/ `\(#\OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO'
/ / \ / `~~\OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO'
|/' `\// \\ \OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO' THOMAS ALVA EDIBUHHHHHHHHHHH
`-.__\_,\OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO' PABLO PICASUHHHHHHHHHHHHH
jgs ÒO\#)OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO' ALBERT UHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
ÒOOOOOOOO''OOOOOOOOO'
`""""""' `""""""' THINKING DIFFERENT
%
:::8888888888888888888888888888888P""""""48888888888888888888888::::88
::::8888888888888888888888P ____.------.____ 488888888888888:::888
::::88888888888888888P __.--"" _._ ""--.__ 4888888888:::888
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8| 9 | | | | | | | | | | | | o |
8| 9 | | | | | | | | | | | | | |
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
WELCOME TO BONERVILLE (NEAR VACAVILLE)

%
_..
.' `",
; \ TURNS OUT GOLLUM WASN'T GAY,
.---._; ^, ; HE WAS JUST REALLY TIRED
.-' ;{ : .-. ._;
.--"" \*' o/ o/
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; \; `. `"+'
| } / _.'T"--"\
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``''-' / \
/J|/{/
%
A
_/X\_
\/X\/
|V|
|A| EVERY TIME YOU HEAR FRANCE
|V| CRITICIZE THE UNITED STATES
/XXX\ ABOUT RACIAL INEQUALITY AND
|\/\| RACISM
|/\/|
|\/\| OFFER TO PUT OUT THE FIRES
|/\/| CREATED DURING THEIR RACIAL
|\/\| RIOTS WITH YOUR URINE
|/\/|
IIIIIII AHHH, PRECIOUS URINE
|\/_\/|
/\// \\/\ IS THERE NO PROBLEM WHICH
|/|JGS|\| YOU CANNOT SOLVE
/\X/___\X/\
) IIIIIIIIIIIII
( (| /`-\/XXXXX\/-`\
) )\/ ( ( ( /`.-'/\|/I\|/\'-.`\
( (( / ))\)) /`\-/_.-"` `"-._ \-/\
\ )\( | ))( ) (| '.'-.\
))/ | )/ \(( ) \ \-/`\
/| _ .---. .---. .---. .---.| _`\'-`\_ )
|j||||___| |___| |___| |___|| `""""""` ) \
|=|||=======================| / ) (
[_|j||(O)\__________|(O)\___] hjw \(_)/_
/o____o_\
)
) \
/ ) (
\(_)/_
/o____o_\
%
.---.
.--. ___/ \ DEAR SPAMCOP: YOU ARE A HUGE PIECE OF SHIT
/ `.-"" `-, ;
; / O O \ / I HAVE A GREAT IDEA !!! HOW ABOUT AN OPEN
`. \ /-' BLACKLIST !!!!!! SURELY THIS PLAN WILL WORK
_ J-.__; _.' PERFECTLY AS ANYONE CAN FLAG ANYONE ELSE AS
(" / `. -=: A SPAMMER !!!!!!!!! I CANNOT SEE ANY FLAW HERE
`: `, -=|
| F\ i, ; -| LOOK AT ME !!!! I'M JOE SCHMO MAKING A DIFFERENCE
| | | || \_J BY TRYING TO HELP FIGHT SPAM !!!!! SURELY IF I
fsc mmm! `mmM Mmm' FORWARD FORGED BOUNCES TO SPAMCOP THIS WILL DO
GOOD IN THE WORLD RATHER THAN JUST MAKING MORE
POINTLESS BUSYWORK FOR EVERYONE INVOLVED
P.S. PIECE OF SHIT
%
,88888,,88888,
,88' '888' '88, I'M GOING TO TALK ABOUT "YOU'RE THE MAN NOW DOG"
88' 88 88 '88 AND TRY TO LINK IT TO DISCUSSIONS ABOUT MEMETICS
88, 88 88 ,88 AND MEMES !!!!
'88, ,888, ,88'
'88888''88888' SEE THE MEMES *MUTATE* AND PEOPLE *CONTRIBUTE*
8 8 IN AN *OPEN SOURCE* FRAMEWORK TO DO SOMETHING
888 888 *COLLABORATIVE*
jgs 8 8
WHY WON'T ANYONE TAKE ME SERIOUSLY ?!?!?!?!?!
WATCH ME TAKE A DUMP AND CALL IT A BLOG MEME
OR AS I CALL IT A BLEME
%
\____ ___,
__\o___|__ __)____)__ PRETTY SURE THAT A FLICK ABOUT
/// =. -)- ))) GAY COWBOYS WILL HAVE WIDE
_/ \_c/ \=_/ \__ MAINSTREAM SUCCESS
/= \/ )_/=\
\ ^|\ __((_\_/\
)\ \___ __ /_/-\o____)
_\_\,__o/-\_\ \/ ))__|_
(x_\_:M \/ ,/:_/_s)
\ *\ \ / /o / BECAUSE IF THERE'S ONE THING
\ *\ \ / /o / NON-BENT AUDIENCES ARE CLAMORING
\,/ `) (' \,/ FOR IN THEIR MOVIES IT'S STRONG
/ ( | | ) \ GAY COWBOY CHARACTERS
,- <___( )___> -\
-,--(o \| |-.--,-- | |/ o)--,. -
b'ger [_,_(o \__ _/ o)_,_/
\_,___] [___,_/ I HOPE THEY DO THE GAY WITH CGI
BECAUSE IF NOT THAT'S JUST GROSS
%
,
_cc,
'.())(((c
(((((()(c YOU KNOW WHAT'S HOT ABOUT PREGNANT CHICK PORN ?!?!?!?
'(((('_ _'
`((( \
(`\ -
' ) ( __
_.-' ' `.
/ , -' \
L ` .
\ / ` |
`c ) c ) J
.\__. `---': |
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/`\\\> L |
/ / J
L c ' /
\ / /\
\-.__.' .' .
|`-___.'
a:f : `8P /
: .' /
` / .' YES PRETTY MUCH ABSOLUTELY NOTHING EVER UNDER ANY
/ .' CIRCUMSTANCES WHATSOEVER
. .'
L '
\` `
%
__,...__
_,-'::::::::`-.
,'::,----._::::::`.
,'::,' /\,-. \:::::::`. HASSAN CHOP
/::::| ; | |:::::::::`.
|:::::`._ \ |:::::::::::\
__\,:--''--`_--':::::::::::::\
`'--::__:::::::`-:_:::::::::::::\
/--.`'--:_:::::`-::::::::::::\
/,-_.' _`-:_::::`:::::::::::\
/ /o\| ,-_`-.`--:::`::::::::::)
|| \_/| / /o\\ `:,'''-:'
(#__`-_/ | \_/| /##| ,-.\
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/ \ , (##### / ||
| |___,-##\ /##/ \__,'/
\ /########) |#,'|__..-'
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\`.###'`""' /
\\\__// ,'
\`--' _,-'
jrei `-..___..--''
%
.---.
/ \
) o \ ZIM ZAM
/,- \ \)_
V )/) \_) \
( , \ \
-_(-__ \ / \ |
,-/ `--' \ | GODDAMN
/ \ |
| ) \|
\ ,,,l` `.
\ \ ( (
\ ) \ \ AIRBORNE INFANTRY
\ l `-\_/ \
\ ! // `. `-_
\ ) //_-//\ (
\ _-_// `-( ) /
`-( `\ `,
\ /
( ( BP
`-.;
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%
___----___
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,/ /''-._
,-/ ,-' \_
/' /\ \
/ /===\ \_
/ ,/========\ \
/ ,'' `\ \
| ,####" "##### \ |
| '/ ____ ____ \ |
| / /====\ /====\ | |
\ /===( @# |=| #@ `)===\ /
\_ / \___/ \___/ | /
\ / \ \. _/
| ( ) \_--'
| \ _/###. ##
# ############## ###
/## ...##############'##..###|
########' ("------") #######
######## \______/ #######
########\ /######\ /#######
############################
#######################
##########S@yaN##
#########
NO COMMENT
%
___ ___
(@ )__( @)
/ \
( ____________ )
/\_____________/\ 9/11 IS A JOKE
/ \
/ | | \
/ | | | | \
/ | | | | \
( | | | | )
______\ | | | | /______
<__________| |________| |___________>
| | | |
VWWV VWWV
%
__
/ _,\
\_\ HANDS UP WHO'S TIRED OF JON B.
,,,, _,_) # /)
(= =)D__/ __/ //
C/^__)/ _( ___//
\_,/ -. '-._/,--'
_\\_, / -//.
\_ \_/ -,._ _ ) ) [PAUSE]
\/ / ) / /
\-__,/ ( ( (
\.__,-)\_
)\_ / -(
b'ger / -(//// OKAY HANDS UP WHO KNOWS WHO JON B. IS
////
%
.-.
__ / \ __
( `'.\ /.'` )
'-._.(;;;)._.-' DUNK ME IN DICK
.-' ,`"`, '-.
(__.-'/ \'-.__)/)_
\ /\ / / )
'-' | \/.-')
, | .'/\'..)
|\ |/ | \_)
\ | | \_/
| \ /
\|/ _,
jgs / __/ /
| _/ _.'
|/__/
\
%
.---.
/ /"\ \
)/a a$
( ( - ) ) COULD SOMEONE SHAVE ADELE STEPHENS' MOUSTACHE
)_) (_(
.'\ /'.
/,(_\ /_),\
\\ \ ^ / //
\\/ \//
(/-._.-$
| T |
| | |
\ | /
\ | /
jgs )|(
/ | \
`-`-'
%
___()___
_.-'' ,-'`-. ``-._ DUDE YOU TOTALLY DRANK MY LAST MOUNTAIN
,-' ,' `. `-. DEW !!!! I NOW DECLARE A VENDETTA
,' ,' `. `. AND TO RESOLVE THIS DISPUTE
/ / \ \ WE SHALL REENACT THE BATTLE OF
/_ / \ _\ AGINCOURT
``-./_..---'''|``---.._\,-''
| UM NO I DON'T HAVE ANY TROUBLE
| GETTING DATES WHY DO YOU ASK
|
|
|
|
|
, |
`..' SSt
%
______
___.--------'------`---------.____
_.---'----------------------------------`---.__
.'___=]===========================================
,-----------------------..__/.' >--.______ _______.---'
]====================<==||(__) .' `------'
`-----------------------`' ----.___--/
/ /---' `/
/_______(______________________/
`-------------.--------------.'
\________|_.-' DJC
DENISE CROSBY GOT FAT ?!!?!?!?
WELL I GUESS THAT'S JUST GOD'S PUNISHMENT FOR DOING THAT

AWFUL, AWFUL STAR TREK DOCUMENTARY
%
ooooooooooo
ooooooooooooooooooo
oooooooo oooo oooooooo VISUALIZE WHIRLED PEAS !!!!!!!!
ooooooo oooo ooooooo
oooooo oooo oooooo
oooooo oooo oooooo
ooooo oooo ooooo
oooooo oooooo oooooo
oooooo oooooooo oooooo
ooooo oooooooooooo ooooo
oooooo oooo oooo oooo oooooo
oooooooooo oooo oooooooooo
oooooooo oooo oooooooo
oooooooo oooo oooooooo
oooooooooooooooooooo AS I FUCK YOU OUT
oooooooooooo
BA
%
IT IS JUST ME OR DOES MR. MARCUS
LOOK LIKE HE REALLY ENJOYS HIS WORK
/
_.--"":""--._ /
.' .-'.' '.'-. '.
/ .' / ' \ '. \
;-.__.--:__:--.__.--;
;-.__.--.__.--.__.--;
\'. \ : : / .' /
'.\ '. '. .' / .'
jgs `'--.:.:.--'`
%
___
<__ \ YAKUZA WATCH ME
| o|
| o| ______ ZIPPO MAKES ME THINK OF MAY
| o| / O /
\ o\/ O / I LIKE GASOLINE
\____/
GABATZ
%
_________________________________________________
/ /|
/ _/_/_/_/_/ _/_/_/_/_/ _/_/_/_/ _/___/ _/_/_/_/ //
/ //|
/ _/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/__/ _/_/_/ _/_/_/_/ //||
/ __/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/ / _/_/_/ _/_/_/_/ //_|/ ,---------
/_/__/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/___/ _/ _/_/_/_/ // /__/__/__/ /|
/ __/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/__/ _/_/_/ _/_/_/ / // / / |
/ __/_________________/ ___/_/_/ // / / .
/ // / / .'
(________________________________________________(/ (__________(.'
DF
THIS KEYBOARD IS ALL GAY SHAPED
I GUESS GAYS HAVE BETTER ERGONOMICS
WHAT WITH ALL THE BENDING OVER
(THE MORE YOU KNOW)

%
_n_________________
|_|_______________|_|
| ,-------------. |
| | .---------. | | PSP: $250
| | | | | |
| | | | | | WIPEOUT PURE FOR PSP: $50
| | | | | |
| | | | | | DOWNLOADING MAP PACKS FOR WIPEOUT PURE OVER ONE
| | `---------' | | OF MY NEIGHBOR'S WIRELESS NETWORKS WITHOUT
| `---------------' | ENCRYPTION DIRECTLY TO THE PSP WITHOUT BOTHERING
| _ GAME BOY | TO SET UP AN ACCESS POINT: HAW HAW
| _| |_ ,-. |
||_ O _| ,-. "._,"|
| |_| "._," A |
| _ _ B |
| // // | WARDRIVING ???? FUCK THAT I CALL IT WARWALKING,
| // // \\\\\\ | WARSITTING, WARDRINKINGABEER
| ` ` \\\\\\ ,
|________...______," hjw
%
_________________
/_________________\
|====#=#=#=#=#====|
_________________________________________| |
/ |_____________ |
/________________________________________________________\ |
| [+] [+] [+] [+] [+] [+] [+] [+] [+] [+] [+] [+] [+] | |
:==============================================================:|
| [+] [+] [+] [+] [+] [+] [+] [+] [+] [+] [+] [+] [+] [+] [+] ||
|--------------------------------------------------------------||
| [+] [+]:[+]:[+]:[+]:[+] [+] [+] [+] [+] [+] [+] [+] [+] [+] ||
| ::::::::::::: ||
| [+] [+]:[+]:[+]:[+]:[+] [+] ( ) [+] [+] [+] [+] [+] [+] [+] ||
| :::::::::::( ) ( ) ||
()[+] ()]:[():[():[( ) ) [( | )+] [+] [+] [+] [+] [+] [+] ||
( ) ( ):( ))( )( )( | ) ) ( ) () ( ) ( ))|
( )( ))( )( ( ) ( ) ) | ( )( )( )( )[+] [+]( ( ))
( )) ( )( ( )( )( ( ) ( | ) )( ) )( ) )---:::::( ) )
============================= | ( ) ( ) ) ( ) ::::::( )
-----------------------------=====================================
- _ -- __ - --__ _ - _ _ - -------------------------------------
_ -- _ -- --_ -- _ - __ | -- __ -- - _ -- --- _ __ -- -
-- _ --- __ - _-- | --_ - __ -- ___ -- _ - __ - - _ _
_ -- __ -- - - _ - | - _ - _ -- _ --- _ -- _ --- bni
ARE WE GOING TO ALL HAVE AN OUTING TO GO SEE THE NEW

RENT MOVIE ?!?!?!?!?
WELL
AN OUTING TO SEE IT AND THEN AN OUTING BECAUSE WE SAW IT

BECAUSE HOLY GOD: WAY GAY FOLKS
%
.-.
| |____________________________________________________
_ _ _ _ _ _ _| | .'`.
|_|_|_|_|_|_|_| |-mbfh-------------------------------------------.'****>
`. | |_______________________________________________.'***.'
`. .'| | `**'
`-.___.' `-' I WONDER IF THE STROGGS REALIZE THEY'RE .'*`.
HURTING OUR FEELINGS !?!!??!!? `._.' .
. .'*`.
MAYBE IF WE GAVE INTO THEIR DEMANDS .'*`. `._.'
THEY'D LEAVE US ALONE ?!?!?!?!
I WOULD HAVE VOTED FOR KUCINICH

%
;
`, HAVE YOU EVER HEARD OF A DRUG DEAL GONE
' :. GOOD !?!?!?!?
__ `;.
/' /\ , \ YES ACTUALLY IT'S WHEN I GET THE PRODUCT
/ |ee| `; I WANTED FOR THE PRICE I WAS QUOTED
( |_,| , `, WITHOUT THE NEED TO SHOOT ANYONE
) , \ ' `:
| """"----,__,_.____,_
; _ |--,_; '
, ,' `"---' ,:
| , : /, ,' SO FUCK YOU DONALD TRUMP
| ,/' ,;
| ' :| , /'
, | ,;
, | , :'
| ` ,'
,' ` ;
__==' ___, pb __/_
%
__________
/ /| CHECK IT OUT FOLKS THE XBOX 360 IS DEBUTING WITH
/__________/ | A WHOPPING 18 GAMES !!!!!! CURIOUSLY ENOUGH THAT
|________ | | IS ALL IT WILL EVER HAVE
/_____ /|| |
|".___."| || | ARE YOU SURE YOU DON'T WANT TO PLAY HALO 3 ?!?!?!?!?!
|_______|/ | |
|| .___."|| / OVER AND OVER AGAIN UNTIL COGNITIVE DISSONANCE
||_______|| / KICKS IN AND YOU CONVINCE YOURSELF IT DOESN'T
|_________|/ SUCK ?!?!?!?!?!?!?!
%
,-_ - . _ . ~ ~ - . JUST SO YOU KNOW
~ - _ ,o'; ',
~. '' , ; IF YOU APPROACH ME OR
. . , ,.'
' ' ' . '' MY ROOKERY I WILL PECK
.`'. ,.` ' ;
, ' ', AT YOUR NUTS/CUNT IN A
' ` ,
' ; . FURIOUS UNSTOPPABLE
' ' ' ,
' ; ; ' , FASHION NOT UNLIKE THAT
' `.' ' ,
; . ' .' . OF AN ANGRY WOLVERINE
; , . ' .
, . .' , EXCEPT WITH SQUAWKING
. . ;' .
, ; '. , DO NOT MISTAKE THE
. ' ' , .
. . .' , , EMPEROR PENGUIN FOR
; ' . ;
'_` '. , ' ONE OF THEM PUSSY BIRDS
raf ` ._~,. ._ ,_ ._, _. ,..,_'.
%
/\
//\\
//__\\
//____\\ THE ONE THING I CAN SAY THAT I ACTUALLY
\\____// TOOK AWAY FROM EVERQUEST WAS THE ABILITY
\\__// TO DRAW BOOBIES ON ONE LINE OF TEXT
[|__|]
[|__|]
[|__|]
[|__|]
[|__|]
[|__|]
[|__|]
/) [|__|] (\
//\_________[|__|]________/\\
))__________||__||_________((
<_/ [ \/ ] Krogg97\_>
|| || ||
|| || ||
|| || ||
|| || ||
|| || ||
|| || ||
|| || ||
|| || ||
|| || ||
|| || ||
|| || ||
|| || ||
|| || ||
|| || ||
|| || ||
|| || ||
|| || ||
|| || ||
\\ || //
\\||//
\\//
____-\/-____
-__-
/ \
%
.=.,
;c =\
__| _/ IF WE GET TO CHOOSE OUR SUPERHERO NAMES
.'-'-._/-'-._
/.. ____ \ THEN MINE WOULD BE "CUNTFUCKER"
/' _ [<_->] ) \
( / \--\_>/-/'._ )
\-;_/\__;__/ _/ _/
'._}|==o==\{_\/
/ /-._.--\ \_
// / /| \ \ \
/ | | | \; | \ \
/ / | :/ \: \ \_\
/ | /.'| /: | \ \
| | |--| . |--| \_\
/ _/ \ | : | /___--._) \
|_(---'-| >-'-| | '-'
snd /_/ \_\
%
,
, |\ ,__ BOY I SURE HAD A GOOD TIME AT LIVE 8 !!!!!
|\ \/ `.
\ `-.:. `\ I FEEL MORE INTERCONNECTED WITH NATURE NOW
`-.__ `\=====|
/=`'/ ^_\ I REALLY CAN'T DECIDE WHAT I HATE MORE: ALL
.' /\ .=) THE CORPORATE CONSUMER COMMERCIALISM OR ALL
.-' .'| '-(/_| THE CORPORATIONAL COMMERCIAL CONSUMERISM
.' __( \ .'`
/_.'` `. |` CAN'T WE JUST ALL AGREE THAT HUGS ARE *GOOD*
jgs \ | AND *NUCLEAR EXPLOSIONS* ARE BAD !?!?!?!?!?
|/
%
_
_ ,d$$$b
d$$$b$$[ o
$$< q \ .' WH-WH-WHAT ARE THESE T-T-TWO GUYS
) _, | / D-D-DOING
,`-_/ ` \'|\
/' / pb / `; `\
| ( `--,---,-',
/ `._ /_;,_|--'
)=,,_ .-' "-'(^^|/'
/ ``=ssssss( `'
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< |_______`$b
/ /| |$`$
| || ``-,
| / / | `\
|_ _--' /`--_ )
,""---| _/ / |
| ,--| __/|_ `-----' AND C-C-CAN I SIGN UP
( | | ,`' (___,, | |_
\, (____,, \____,,
%
.__ _..._
/,-./'.--. ``\.
/|/.--./`.o/ /`;\\ YOU KNOW I REALLY RESPECT
|||\ _ `-'_` o|/|| BONO'S POLITICAL INSIGHT
||\\`.`.__`Y8P_,\||
\\|| `"\"""/---'||
\\| ,-' `.||//
$-'_ `.
,-' [_] .-. \
; `\| ||-'/ ` \
\ /`""-.`\ | ; |
`.-|\_/ | ; ' |
\-._ / | | /
|`--'| : ;_\_
/| |/ /\|, )
__..; `----' :`.`|/
/ / | |
; .' `\' ;
\/ : _ :
: / / :
: _.'`.__.' | fsc
\ _.' \ /
| | / `---.._
| `\ `.____ \
/ | `------'
\__|_,'
%
((((
(((( BEATING OFF INTO A CUP AND THEN DRINKING IT
)))) SO THAT WHEN I BEAT OFF AGAIN IT'S THE SAME SQUIGGLIES
_ .---.
( |`---'|
\| |
: .___, :
`-----'
-Karl
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THIS VIAL OF CHLOROFORM SAYS I'M GETTING LAID TONIGHT

SERIOUSLY, IT'S RIGHT HERE ON THE LABEL
(HATE THE GAME NOT MONOTREME)
%
%%% %% STRANGELY ENOUGH AFTER CONVERTING TO POLYAMORY
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%
&&
&&&&& THIS CARNITAS BURRITO WOULD NEVER
&&&\/& &&& ABUSE IRAQI PRISONERS
&&|,/ |/& &&
&&/ / /_& && MMMM DELICIOUS OPPRESSOR
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######### WELP TURNS OUT ROUNDANDBROWN.COM ISN'T ABOUT
######### ASSHOLES LIKE I WAS HOPING
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| . I HAVE A HYGIENE PROBLEM:
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OUR COUNTRY LOOKS LIKE A GIANT TURD !?!?!?!?
COINCIDENCE !?!??! YES ACTUALLY NOW THAT I THINK OF IT

IT PROBABLY IS SO SORRY NEVER MIND
%
_____
/~/~ ~\ OH GOD LEO'S DEAD WHO WILL BE VICE PRESIDENT NOW
| | \
\ \ \ THIS IS GOD'S PUNISHMENT FOR STARRING IN L.A. LAW
\ \ \ ALL THOSE YEARS AGO
--\ \ .\''
--==\ \ ,,i!!i, SHIT I FORGOT THAT MEANS SANTOS IS TOAST TOO
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I GUESS VINICK WILL BE RUNNING UNOPPOSED SHORTLY
%
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| _|)o | _|)o | I WONDER IF RMS GETS TIRED
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\ / | \/ | \/ A "TRUE RMS" MULTIMETER
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|U| | | ELEVEN MILLION PURPLE FINGERS BITCHES
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%
IF YOU FOLD UP THE DOLLAR BILL A CERTAIN WAY YOU CAN
SEE AN IMAGE OF THE WORLD TRADE CENTER ON FIRE AND
ALSO THAT I'M A FUCKING IDIOT
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXFEDERAL RESERVE NOTEXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

XXX XX THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA XXX XX
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XX XXX ___ ONE DOLLAR i XXX XX
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DON'T BLAME ME ..::::::::.
I VOTED FOR :::::::::::::
OXYCONTIN AND /. `:::::::::::
BLOWJOBS o__,_::::::::::
%
,.
|`:.
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m1a | |`.`:;@. DID YOU KNOW THAT IF YOU GOOGLE FAGGOTS,
| |;.`.`;| YOUR BROWSER WILL TURN GAY
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%
_____
j_____j YOU KNOW IF I CONVERTED TO ISLAM I'D BE SURE TO GIVE
/_____/_\ MYSELF A NAME THAT ACTUALLY CONTAINED THE WORD "ISLAM"
|_(~)_| |
| )"( | | BECAUSE I'M A FUCKING FAGGOT MORON WITH NO ORIGINALITY
|(@_@)| | OR CLEVERNESS AT ALL
hnjw |_____|,'
YES I'M TALKING TO YOU "CAT STEVENS"
AND THAT WASN'T EVEN YOUR REAL NAME EITHER FAGMONSTER
BLAH BLAH BLAH I'M CAT STEVENS 9/11 WAS A JEWISH

CONSPIRACY AND THE HOLOCAUST DIDN'T HAPPEN
DOOT DEE DOO SINGING GAY SONGS AND HEILING HITLER
NEXT UP: YOUR NAME BEING FEATURED ON THE BACK OF A MILK

CARTON
%
_-~~~~- PRIVATE WHAT DID YOU BRING ME
- @ @
' \ NO YOU IDIOT THIS ONE'S PURPLE
|\ .. |
\ ' `. '\___/` .`. THE MONSTER WE'RE HUNTING IS
|\_ / `-____--// GREEN (OR GREY DEPENDING ON WHICH
\ \/ .\\ \/ WITNESS STATEMENT YOU BELIEVE)
\ .' \\ |
`. \ /' | GET THIS BLOB OUT OF HERE I DON'T KNOW UH
\ | .'
_| /`-__-'/ JUST SHIP THE PURPLE DINOSAUR OFF TO
| \ ) )__ CAMP X-RAY AND GET ME GENERAL ROSS ON
\__/ |___/ THE HORN
%
_"_ %
(< ?
` " I CAN MOLEST WOMEN WITH MY MIND
__||___
|\___//_\
(' | ') \\ ALSO MILK COMES OUT THEIR BOOBIES
__|\ , / |/
/: / \ ::
\| ######o /| WHICH IS GROSS
######## \)
########
\ : /
\: /
--
%%%
%%
%
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%
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<)=.'\=(> Rich <)=.'\=(> <)=.'\=(>
I WONDER IF JODY WATLEY KNOWS WHAT

HER SISTER DOES FOR A LIVING
%
SO THROUGH CAREFUL RESEARCH AND SELF-DIAGNOSIS
I'VE NARROWED MY CONDITION DOWN TO TWO POSSIBILITIES
ASPERGER'S SYNDROME OR LACTOSE INTOLERANCE
__________________
/ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _\
| PLONK |="
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%
_______________ MAYBE THIS HOROSCOPE COULD ACTUALLY
()==( (@==() TELL ME WHAT TO DO WITH THIS
'______________'| PROSTITUTE CORPSE !?!?!?!
| |
| | CHECK OUT POSSIBILITIES ... CHANGE MAY BE
__)_____________| REQUIRED ... DON'T SETTLE FOR LESS ... LUCK
()==( (@==() IS IN YOUR CORNER ... YOU WILL BE REWARDED ...
'--------------'
PjP I MEAN THESE THINGS COULD APPLY TO ANYBODY
%
______
|\_______________ (_____\\______________ IS IT SO WRONG
HH======#H###############H####################### TO MASTURBATE
' ~""""""""""""""`##(_))#H\"""""Y######## TO THE SHOOTING
)) \#H\ `"Y### SCENE IN HEAT
dew " }#H)
%
_____
/ \
/ ````` \
/|ò o'|\ IS EDDIE IZZARD AWARE THAT HE
/|| . ||\ ACCIDENTALLY P-P-PUT ON A
|*\\ _ //*| DR-DR-DRESS THIS M-M-MORNING
|*/ \ / \*|
// / \ \\
/(__/\___/\__)\
| |
| | | |
| | | |
| | | |
| |\ /| |
/ // \| |
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/ / | | |
/ \ | / \
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| |
| |
| |
| |
| |
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/ \
/ \
/ \ Alyssa
%
####
####
########
######## IF YOU COULD BE ANY DRAGON FROM ATARI 2600
######## #### ADVENTURE WHICH ONE WOULD YOU BE
######## ####
##############
############## [ ] YORGLE, THE YELLOW DRAGON WHO IS SLOW
###### AND SCARED OF YELLOW KEYS BECAUSE HE'S
###### A PUSSY
##
## [ ] GRUNDLE, THE STUPID FAGGOT WITH THE
## MAGNET FETISH
##
######## [ ] RHINDLE, THE CRACK FIEND
########
############
############ WAIT WHAT THE FUCK THESE ARE DUCKS
##############
##############
###### ####
###### ####
#### ####
#### ####
#### ####
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#### ######
#### ######
################
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%
.-. .-.
' _ `. . _ `. I COUNTER INTELLIGENT DESIGN
: (_) :: (_) ; WITH A THEORY ABOUT A CLEVER
`. .' `. .' TENTACLED BALLSACK WITH EYES
__ _.-\\----//--._
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%
__,-, ____
,-' \ \ _( ) \ | /
,' \ \ \ (__ ) --( )--
/ \ \ _,==; (___) / | \
/ \ \.,="| |
\ \ /' | | WILL YOU PLEASE EXPLAIN TO THIS GUY HOW IT'S NOT GAY AT
\ /'--,_o_| ALL FOR TWO MEN TO EXPRESS THEIR FEELINGS FOR EACH OTHER
`<'_,---|#, pb
' WELL AS LONG AS THOSE FEELINGS AREN'T ABOUT FUCKING
OR SUCKING EACH OTHER IN WHICH CASE: WAY GROSS GAY
LIKE EW EW EW EW GROSS GAY
LIKE BROKEBACK MOUNTAIN SHEPHERDS GAY

%
_ LADIES AND GENTLEMEN I GIVE YOU . . .
|\_\\-\
| \\-| CHOPPY
\ /~\\
` \\ HE LIKES TO CUT UP THINGS (PROSTITUTES
\\ WHO GET ALL BITCHY OR JOHNS WHO WON'T PAY)
~
%
DEAR ANSWER BEAR
HI IT'S BEEN A WHILE SINCE I'VE READ YOUR COLUMN

BUT I HAVE THIS PERSISTENT PROBLEM THAT I THINK
IT'S ABOUT TIME THAT I SOLVED
WELL I GUESS I SHOULD GET RIGHT TO IT
MY PROBLEM IS THAT I HAVE A REALLY HAIRY ASS AND

NO MATTER HOW I POO OR WIPE AFTERWARDS IT JUST SMEARS
EVERYWHERE
IT DOESN'T MATTER WHETHER I WIPE FRONT TO BACK OR BACK

TO FRONT WHILE SITTING DOWN OR IF I STAND UP FIRST OR IF
I TRY THE OLD NINJA PINCHING MOTION IT JUST GETS EVERYWHERE
AND THEN IT'S WIPE CITY
DO YOU HAVE ANY SUGGESTIONS ????
SIGNED, MESSY IN MINNESOTA
,^~~~-. .-~~~"-.
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| IT'S CALLED |
| A SHOWER YOU |
| DISGUSTING FREAK |
%
_.-/' ARE YOU SURE HIV/AIDS DIDN'T FOLLOW US HERE SAID THE
.' / FREAKY YELLOW SUBMARINE LOOKING CREATURE AS HE FUMBLED
/ / WITH THE CONDOM
| / /\ /\ /\ /\ /\ /\ /\ /\ /\ .---.
| \/ \/ \/ \/ \/ \/ \/ \/ \/ \_.-' _ `.
| _ ` / _\
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| .vvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvv
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`-. .------------------'
`-----------------------------------------'
| | | |
| | | |
| | | |
%
/|\ /|\
/ | \ / | \
/__|__/ \__|__\ AND THE LORD SAID "MAKE ME CHOKE ON
|\ | | | | /| IT BECAUSE IT IS BIG AND WILL BLOCK
| \ |----|--| / | MY ESOPHAGUS" AND I SAID UNTO THE LORD
| /\-\---|---/\ | (I SAYS) "CHECK IT OUT I'M HARD" AND
|/_____|\|_____\| AT THAT POINT HE BROKE DOWN WITH "OKAY
\ | \ / | / BUT MAKE IT QUICK" AND IT WAS RAD
\ | / \ | /
\|/ \|/
%
\ /\_ ___/\__ SO THIS IS ME HERE
/~~~-|_ __|_,-~~-,|__ BARFING UP LAST NIGHT'S
|@ \ | __|_-~ ~-|__ MEAL OF STRING CHEESE,
/ /\ \|/\_-~ ,-- \| CIGARETTES AND VODKA
/ /|| \ ~-- / / / \ TONICS THAT TURNED INTO
|//|/ \_ ___/ / | __/ \ ON THE ROCKS THAT TURNED
___// ~//_,,,-----'~~~~~ / INTO LEAVE THE BOTTLE AND
/ o \ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ A $140 BILL ON MY AMEX
~//-/~ PLUS MY TIE IS GONE AND
/~~/\ ~/ THE SUN IS UP AND I CAN'T
~~~~~~ FIND MY PIPE (HOW THE FUCK
DID I MISPLACE THAT ANYWAY)
%
_____
.' `.
| | I CALL IT GRAVY BUT IT ISN'T
|.-----.|
.'`.-.'`.
`..' `..'
( (_) )
___
-
_.==='-._.-`===._
.===================.
=======================
:=======================:
%
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//""""\\ || //""""\\ || //""""\\ ||
|| || || || || || || || ||
|| || || || || || || || ||
||____|| || ||____|| || ||____|| ||
`.____.' || `.____.' || `.____.' ||
|| || ||
|| || || Krogg
______________||__________||__________||_________
FOLKS IF YOU DON'T FLUSH AFTER YOU USE THE URINAL THEN: DEATH
%
,( ,( ,( ,( ,( ,( ,( ,(
`-' `-' `-' `-' `-' `-' `-' `-' `
THERE IS NO HURRICANE THREAT

THERE IS NO HURRICANE THREAT
YES THERE HAVE BEEN HORRIFIC ACTS OF HURRICANES

AND YES THERE WILL BE ACTS OF HURRICANES AGAIN
BUT THAT DOES NOT MEAN THAT THERE IS SOME

MASSIVE HURRICANE THREAT
%
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/\ I'M AN ANIMALCULE
()--' '--()
`. .'
/ .. \ THANK YOU VERY MUCH MR. HUYGENS I HOPE YOU'RE HAPPY
jgs ()' '()
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SOMETIMES I HUG PILLOWS AND PRETEND THEY'RE PEOPLE
%
|`. /
| \`. / |
| \ \.------./ '|
| .' / |
| | |
\ | ___ ' __ /
\ \ `0 ) /0 // THIS CRICK IN MY NECK IS SLOWLY
`--\ v /- EATING AWAY AT MY WILL TO LIVE
/\ - /
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/ ./ //-
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%
THERE ARE NO GOOD SEX
SCENES IN "THE PASSION"
_ xxxx _
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BUT THAT SURE DIDN'T

KEEP ME FROM GETTING OFF
%
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/ _ | WHAT COMMIE SHIT IS THIS
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/ / `.`.
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.' '. OH THIS IS THE END !!!!!!!
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'-.; \ _.-' WAIT WHAT THE FUCK I DON'T GET IT
sjw/itz''''
%
______
.==<_$,__)
,o(_/) /|
///// /___/ |
//// ___/ DO YOU KNOW WHAT THE BEST PART
// \ ABOUT DRINKING IS ?!?!?!?!
/ /-'
/ , / YEAH PRETTY MUCH THE DRINKING
( | |
\ \ | WAIT WHO TOLD YOU
) | |
/ / \ /
( / | /
\/ (/ S-v
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`.| || | /
|| || | | SEE YA LATER
_,'(|)(|)`.:._ ALLIGATOR
_,..-'' ,.-' |
_(,)`'' (,) _.=[]__,,.' AFTER 'WHILE
|.....________[]-=[] / FUCKING FAGGOT
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%
/\
/\ /\ I COME ON AFTER SPIGOT THE BEAR
/\/\ /\ /
|||..^ ^ô
------__\ /---\ /--~
| | ||
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%
)
(.)
.|. PLZ SOMEONE WRITE AN RFC TO STOP
l7J APPS FROM STEALING MY FOCUS
| |
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| | | | | | | | |
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Krogg
%
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| _.-" ," WHAT DID JESUS EVER DO FOR ME
`'..._ /
` _ / EVERYONE KNOWS IT'S SANTA WHO
`.___...-; `"-./ BRINGS THE PRESENTS
| ' | '
| ' | I__
,= .-._| |_|`.__.' KaK
`--"
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(`-`;-"```"-;`-`)
\.' './
/ \ SIR I KNOW THE HAMSTER DANCE
; 0 0 ;
/| = = |\
; \ '._Y_.' / ; AND YOU ARE NO HAMSTER DANCE
; `-._ \|/ _.-' ;
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(((-'` `"""""` `'-))) jgs
%
/\ /\
| | PRISON WILL NOT BE LIKE NEVERLAND RANCH | |
/----\ /----\
[______] OR WILL IT [______]
| | _____ _____ | |
|[] | [ ] [ ] | []|
| | [_______][ ][ ][ ][][ ][ ][ ][_______] | |
| [ ][ ][ ]| | ,----------------, | |[ ][ ][ ] |
| | |/' ____..____ '\| | |
\ [] | | /' || '\ | | [] /
| [] | | |o || o| | | [] |
| | _ | | _||_ | | _ | |
| [] | (_) | | (_||_) | | (_) | [] |
| | | | (||) | | | |
| | | | || | | | |
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[_____________[_______]--'------''------'--[_______]_____________]
%
\ YOU CAN'T HANDLE MY BALLS
/\
7_\ THEY'RE COVERED WITH SPIKES TO PROTECT ME FROM PREDATORS
\,
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/(\|((( | (/
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ejm // \\ |_____\
== == -- -'
%
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|`\ `;;, ,;;'
| `\ \ '. .'.' I VOTE YES WHEN THE PROPOSITIONS
| `\ \ '-""""-' / ARE PERFECT NUMBERS AND VOTE NO
`. `\ / |` WHEN THEY'RE ANYTHING ELSE
`> /; _ _ \
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-- - --- |\ | ||| ` | |
-- | \ _|_|\\ jrei / |
- _ \ \ ,-'-.`._____,',-'-.
______________ `[]\ .\____________________
|`.____________`. || \`| .::' ._
| |_''_o_o__o =.| || \|_________________
| | ,--. ,--. : _ ||
| |( () ) ( () )|: \`::') --- __
`.|_`-_'___`-_'_|`. / :: \
- _ - : \___:/ _ - -
`--..___)
SO DID THE MEMBERS OF THEY MIGHT BE GIANTS ACTUALLY SUCK DICK

OR WERE THEY JUST PRETENDING THAT THEY LIKED TO SUCK DICK
%
_____
_/ / \_
_/ / \_
/ / \ HELLO ??? WHAT ???? SPEAK UP !!!!
\_____________/
|O O| RAPING DIDO ???
\ /
@@\ - /@@ WE'LL NEED A FAST CAR AND
/@@@@\_/@@@@\\ OUR PUNCHING FISTS
/@@@@@@@@@@@@@ \
/ /@@@@@@@@@@@@ _\ WAIT MICHAEL JACKSON LIVES
/ /@@@@@@@@@@@@@@ \\ CLOSER
|______ @@@@@@@@@ \\
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@ @@ CHECKLIST REMAINS THE SAME
@@@@@@@@@@@@@ BUT THE CAR CAN BE AN ESCORT
@@@@@@@@@@@@@ OR SOME SHIT (HE AIN'T CALLIN'
@@@@@@@@@@@ NO 911 FROM NEVERLAND)
|| @ ||
~~ ~~
%
____
|| |
||___| YOU KNOW WHAT'S FUNNIER THAN
_)__<__ _ _ JON STEWART'S THE DAILY SHOW !?!?!?!
|____|__|:|___|:|_
| |_.---._|___|
_ | o| | | |_o_| NOT WATCHING IT
| || |/| |\| |
|_||____|`\___/'|___|
V
_/-\_
fsc
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__
/.-
______ //
/______'/|
[ ]| I DO NOT RECOGNIZE YOUR AUTHORITY TO
[ Grape ]| COMMANDEER ALL MY SUNNY DELIGHT
[ Juice ]|
[ _\_ ]|
[ ::: ]|
[ :' ]/
jgs '-------'
%
(()))
/|x x|
/\( - )
___.-._/\/
/=`_'-'-'/ !! WE DON'T GO TO RAVENHOLM
|-{-_-_-} !
(-{-_-_-} ! (IT'S ALL YUPPIES THERE NOW)
\{_-_-_} !
}-_-_-}
{-_|-_}
{-_|_-}
{_-|-_}
{_-|-_} ZOT
____%%@ @%%_______
%
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WHY DIDN'T THE UNITED STATES SAVE ALL THE POOR JOVIAN CREATURES
FROM CERTAIN DEATH BY SHOEMAKER-LEVY 9 ?!???!??!?!?
BARBARIANS
%
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DUDE MY POKER PLAYING ICON THAT EVERYONE SEES WHEN I'M AT THE
ONLINE SITES IS DATA WITH HIS VISOR WHILE PLAYING FIVE CARD
STUD WITH RIKER AND EVERYONE ELSE ON THE ENTERPRISE !!!!!!!!
EPISODE 97375 STARDATE 207305.0
DO YOU WANT TO SEE THE TAPE

%
/\ __
\ .-':::.
\ :::::|\ FOOD IS A SHIT INDUCER
|,\:::'/ \
`.:::-' \
`-. \ ___
`-. | .-'';:::.
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%
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______ _,-'._,'
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( __|-`' . _,'/ WHY CAN'T I DECAPITATE HOOKERS
`--...'___,..--' / WITH THE HELICOPTER BLADES????
/ _/,-'_,-'
(`---'' _,-' |_,- PLAYSTATION 2 GREATEST HITS MY ASS
`----''|_,--'
jrei -' _,-' I WANT MY $20 BACK
%
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( ( .^.
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(/ .'.'---'.'. FOLKS LET'S PUT THE HOME
_\)_ .'.'-------'.'. BACK IN HOME INVASION
(__)() .'.'-,=======.-'.'.
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(_)_| || || || || |
(...|____||____||_____||____||____|
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(_)(_|---------|"""""""""|---------|
()()(|--------|"""""""""""|--------|
Zot-wWUwwuw|wwWWwuu|"""""""""""""|uwuwuuW|wuwwuuwu
%
____
/(( ))
( )6 6( ) WHY CAN'T BARTLET JUST BE HONEST WITH HIMSELF
(_) l (_) AND PUT ON A FUCKING DRESS
\ <> )
____) (_____
( \____/ )
) ( )( ) (
/ / \ / \ \
/ / \ / \ \
\ \ )==( / /
\ \ / \ / /
'\\/ \//' WELL
'|\` '|\`
\ / YOU KNOW
\ /
) ( WITH HELP
jgs/akg / \
/ \ SINCE HE'S A CRIPPLE AND ALL
/ \
/ \
/ \
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`-...., ,..-'
`-..-'
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/ \
) ` ____.-')
( _6 _ / OKAY I DON'T MEAN TO ALARM ANYONE
( \ _| HERE BUT IT OCCURS TO ME THAT
) / -._/ SAKURA SENA'S BOOBS MAY NOT IN FACT
_.--' ( _ BE COMPLETELY NATURAL
/ , `-.
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_____, _..-=-=-=-=-====--,
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( _ \ / //___/-=---=----' SERIOUSLY I THINK MAYBE ISHMAEL
` `\ / //---/--==----=-' WAS BORN FROM A COW OR SOMETHING
,-. | / \_//-_.'==-==---=' RATHER THAN THE SLAVE GIRL
(.-.`\ | |'../-'=-=-=-=--'
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`9MMP' EXPLODING PRICKS ARE NOT A FUNNY PRANK SIR
hjm
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//\\
<<()>> A IF YOU SUBTRACT ONE FROM EACH LETTER
|==| /\\ IN "IBM" IT SPELLS "DONG"
| | / \\
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A | | / \\
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// | | //\\ \\
(( <0> | | <<()>> ))
\\ | | \\// //
\\ _| |_ //
\\/ | | \ //
V | | \ //
| | \ //
| | \ // NOTE WE COULD NOT AFFORD AN ACTUAL
| | \// PICTURE OF HAL FROM 2001 SO HERE
| | V IS A PICTURE OF A HALBERD
| |
| |
| |
| |
| |
| |
| |
| |
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%
___ ___
.d9969b d6966b. TRUE OR FALSE: WINNIE FROM THE WONDER YEARS
d66b'e( )a`d99b WAS A SERIOUS COCK TEASE
`d9p _/ \_ q6b'
__/ (__ __) \__ _ THE ANSWER IS: TRUE
/ \_/ / \_/ {_)
/ / \ (I'M THE CHEAT SHEET)
\ \__ / /\ _\ \
\____j`-. ).--|___/ hjw
`-' '--'
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'.' .' ; , |:. `|()##`"""` WHEN THE FALL IS ALL THAT'S LEFT
jgs `'-../__/_\:: /O()()o IT MATTERS A GREAT DEAL
()'._.'`()()'
%
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_ \ / '-. IF YOU THINK ABOUT IT
< ``-.;),--'` EVERYBODY WON THE FALKLANDS WAR
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sSSSSSs
SS;; SSSS WHOEVER THINKS CORSETS ARE SEXY IS WRONG
S< ?SSS (HOW CAN I PUT IT ANY SIMPLER THAN THAT)
S> SSS
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(~~~~)
|| WHAT IS IT WITH ORKUT AND BRAZILIANS ANYWAY
__||__
/______\
| |' _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
| |'|o| - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -||
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%
| HAITIAN IV DRUG USER AIDS
| |
| .---'''--. ROMANIAN CHILD AIDS
.-----| |
| ;,,..--..| GREAT AMERICAN FAGGOT AIDS
;...-.----''\'--.
.-----| |\ | WEAK AMERICAN HEMOPHILIAC AIDS
| ;,,..--| \.|
;...-.----'';| \'. AFRICAN MONKEY AIDS
.-----| || \|
| ;,,..-.|| \ HAIRY SMELLY FRENCH AIDS
;...-.----'''||_ \.
.-----| |_ `-._ \ PRESIDENTIAL AIDS
; ;,,..--.|_`-._ \-\
;__,,..----''''| `-._\-\ \ ENGLISH PUNK QUEER AIDS
.-----| | \ \ \ _,
| ;___...-.'-..__\_\,' DISGRUNTLED EMPLOYEE AIDS
._--'''| ___,|,---''';
:````--''' _____,--'/ GLASNOST AIDS
:`-------''' ;
~~~~~ ~~~ :__________________; ~~~~ ~~~~~ ~~~~
jrei ~~~~~ ~~~~~ ~~~~~ ~~~~~~~ ~ ~~~~ ~~
~ ~~~~~~ ~~~~~~ ~~ ~~~ ~~~~ ~~~ ~~~~ ~
%
_,..---..,_ WHAT'S BETTER THAN A CREAMPIE ?!?!?!?
,-"` .'. `"-,
(( '.'.' ))
`'-.,_ ' _,.-'`
jgs `\ `"""""` /` AN ____ CREAMPIE
`""-----""`
%
/\ .---._ IF I PUT MY JIZZ BUGS IN JARS IN THE
/\/.-. /\ /\/\ br FRIDGE WILL THEY LIVE FOREVER OR DO
//\\oo //\\/\\\\ I NEED TO USE THE FREEZER INSTEAD
// /"/`---\\ \\"`-._
_.-'" "`-.`-.
%
._-'-_ .
. ' /_-_-_\ ` .
.' |-_-_-_-| `. DOES AIDS HURT
ejm ( `.-_-_-.' )
!`. .'!
! ` . . ' !
! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! !
/ / \ \
_-| \___ ___/ /-_
(_ )__\_)\(_/__( _)
))))\X\ ((((
\/ \/
%
\
'-.__.-' FOR THE WORLD IS HOLLOW
/oo |--.--,--,--.
\_.-'._i__i__i_.' AND I MUST EAT BUGS
"""""""""
fsc
%
_________________________
|| || || ||
|| ||, , ,|| || SCIENTIFIC FRAUD ?!?!?!?!?
|| (||/|/(\||/ ||
|| ||| _'_`||| ||
|| || o o || || B-B-BUT I HAD TO FIND A WAY TO PAY FOR MY
|| (|| - `||) || STARCRAFT AND/OR LINEAGE HABIT
|| || = || ||
ScS || ||\___/|| ||
||___||) , (||___|| YOU WACKY SOUTH KOREANS
/||---||-\_/-||---||\
/ ||--_||_____||_--|| \
(_(||)-| S123-45 |-(||)_)
%
,-. | ,-.
\ `-.(+),-' / THE LUNESTA BUTTERFLY MOLESTS ME IN MY SLEEP
\:-) (+) (-:/
.'`-._(+)_.-'`.
,'__/\_ (+) _/\__`. I THINK IT'S DOING ANAL PROBES OR DRILLING
/ / _/_)(+)(_\_ \ \ FOR OIL OR SOMETHING BECAUSE HOLY GOD IN
/ (__/ _(+)_ \__) \ THE MORNING I'M ONE BIG BRUISE
/ _,-'" (") "`-._ \
(_,-'" / \ "`-._)
Krogg
%
.(O). OKAY
o.` `.o
/_ _ _ _ _ _\ IF YOU TRAVEL BACK IN TIME AND SUCK YOUR OWN
|==|===|==| DICK DOES THAT MAKE YOU GAY
|==|===|==|
|_=|===|=_| I SAY NO BECAUSE YOU'RE THE SAME PERSON
.-._.-[]\_____/[]-O AND THEREFORE IT'S JUST LIKE BEATING OFF
-' /=|=|=|=|=\
|o |o|o|o| o| ALTHOUGH WHAT IF THE PAST-YOU RECIPROCATES
|o |o|o|o| o| AND PUTS HIS FINGER UP YOUR ASS
|o |o|o|o| o|
LGB '-.|o|o|o|.-' AT THAT POINT I THINK WE NEED NIETZSCHE
'--.=====.--'
%
_ _ I CALL WHAT I DO "AGITPROP" BECAUSE I, LIKE ALL
/ )%.===.%( \ OTHER AGITPROPERS, LIKE TO MOLEST CHILDREN
| // ,,, \\ |
\/ \/6.6\/ \/ .===.
/\ ( _ ) /\ / ,,, \
^^ /()-()\ ^^ ( /6.6\ )
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(O_`&`_O) / `"*"` \
/ / \ \ ( (_.@._) )
/ ()/^\() \ /'._\|/_.'\
/. . . . . . .\ /. . . . . .\
`"`"`|`|`|`"`"` `"`"|"|"|"`"`
jgs _|_|_|_ _|_|_|_
(___|___) (___|___)
%
. .
:"-. .-";
|:`.`.__..__.'.';| I'M TOTALLY SERIOUS WHEN I REPORT
|| :-" "-; || MY RELIGION AS "BAHA'I"
:; :;
/ .==. .==. \ BECAUSE I, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, AM
: _.--._ ; A TOTAL FUCKING MORON
; .--.' `--' `.--. :
: __;` ':__ ;
; ' '-._:;_.-' ' :
'. `--' .'
."-._ _.-".
.' ""------"" `.
/`- -'\
/`- -'\
:`- .' `. -';
; / \ :
: : ; ;
; ; : :
':_:.' '.;_;'
:_ _;
; "-._ -" :`-. _.._
:_ () _; "--::__. `.
\"- -"/`._ :
.-"-. -"-. ""--..____.'
/ .__ __. \
: / , / "" \ . \ ; bug
"-:___..--" "--..___;-"
%
___
,-""___""-. WHY DOES THE BIONIC WOMAN NEED A SPECIAL
.;""'| |`"":. BED TO FALL ASLEEP
|| | | | | ||
||_|_|_|_|_||
// /| CAN'T SHE JUST DO IT THE USUAL WOMANLY WAY
/__ //| (20 MG VALIUM AND A HALF BOTTLE OF WINE)
,-""___""-. //||
.;""'| |`"":. //
||/| | | | || //
||_|_|_|_|_||//
||_________||/
|| ||
'' ctr ''
%
______
( _____ ) SEE IT'S A **BLONDE JOKE** BUT IT'S NOT REALLY A
/ / - - \ \ BLONDE JOKE IT'S A **METAJOKE** THAT IMPLIES THAT
| |-O-O-| | AS YOU KEEP FOLLOWING THE LINKS **YOU'RE** THE
|( () )| ONE WHO'S BEING DUPED AND THEREFORE ARE THE ONE
| \ \_/ / | WHO IS BLONDE !!!!!!!!!!!! HAAHAHAHAHA
/ --- \
(___) (___) I HAVE A DEGREE IN MEMETICS AND BEING USELESS
%
.
`:. MASTURBATING IN A CUP AND THEN TALKING
`:. TO THE CUP LIKE IT'S A BABY
.:' ,::
.:' ;:'
:: ;:'
: .:'
`. :.
_________________________
: _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ :
,---:".".".".".".".".".".".".":
: ,'"`::.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.::'
`.`. `:-===-===-===-===-===-:'
`.`-._: : OKAY SERIOUSLY AT WHAT POINT DOES
`-.__`. ,' met. THIS CROSS THE LINE AND GET
,--------`"`-------------'--------. MUSLIMS RIOTING
`"--.__ __.--"'
`""-------------""' BECAUSE THAT SHIT'S JUST FUNNY
%
,
(&)
, ; YOU'D THINK THEY COULD HAVE DONE THEIR
|\|_, GOOGLE RESEARCH AND CHOSEN A BETTER NAME
| |; FOR THIS NEW STANDARD THAN DVD-A
,|' | /
|__|` /
(____)/
{ }
|\ | ',
| \|:;
| | '
/ \ \
/ \ \
/`'-----'\
(`'-------')
\ /
\ /
`,___'lds
%
.'''*(7????(C?!!,''.
'!(7(!,,!?,,,,!!,,!!C!!, THAT STEWIE GRIFFIN IS MY FAVORITE
'!(?,,,?,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,(,,!7!' CHARACTER ON FAMILY GUY PROVES
!?((,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,*C?? I'M NOT A HOMOPHOBE !!!!!!
?=*,,,,,?!!,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,=*
.?((,,,,*?((=C=!,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,**,((* I'D JUST PREFER TO SEE THEM
.*=!,,,,,?!. *(*,,,,,,,,,,,,*(=77(!,,?* IN A LITTLE BOX IN MY LIVING
==?,,,,,,( ? .=,,,,,,,,,,,*(*'''!?,,,C. ROOM WHICH I CAN TURN OFF
===,,,,,,( .,.. .7,,,,,,!?,,,= ', '(,,?? RATHER THAN IN REAL LIFE
'(*,,,,(C=?!!?7C*,,,,,,*7,,*=,,,,, =,,,(=,
'??,,,,!?(?((!*,,,,,,,*=,,,7(!!*!?=!,,(7=,
,?!,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,?33*,,,?(???(**??.
'!?**,,,,,,,,,,,,,**,,,,,,,*,*?!'
.*=7(?*,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,!(!!.
,!!*'????!****?73C?!**!??***!?(((!((?!''.'.
C=**!(=,,,,,,,,=A5????=A5???!*,,,,,,,*=7!*!?
*(((*,,=!,,,,***C35!***(55=,,,,,,,,,,,(??*,77.
=*C7!,,==??CJ3%$$=A$$$$A=33????????((?C,*?=7?(
'=?C!(*. 'AA%%%%%%%%%%%%A3 .!?*7=(7'
.',,. 7%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%% '*!*'.
.A%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%
?A%%%%%%%AA55A%%%A'
C%%%%%%%%#A%%%%%%%7
%
,==. |~~~
/ 66\ |
\c -_) |~~~ WHY CAN'T PEOPLE JUST LEAVE
`) ( | MICHAEL JACKSON ALONE ?!?!?!
/ \ |~~~
/ \ \ | OH RIGHT BECAUSE HE'S LOOSE
(( /\ \_ |~~~ ON THE STREET RAPING CHILDREN
\\ \ `--`|
/ / / |~~~
jgs___ (_(___)_|
%
.------.
.------. |A . | WHENEVER CHRIS "JESUS" FERGUSON IS
|A_ _ | .------; / \ | GIVING HIS SERIOUS "I'M DEEP" LOOK
|( \/ )|-----. _ |(_,_) | ALL I CAN THINK IS HOOOOOOMOOOOOO
| \ / | /\ |( ) | I A|
| \/ A|/ \ |_x_) |------'
`-----+'\ / | Y A|
| \/ A|-----' hjw
`------'
%
.-. I'LL TELL YOU FOLKS
(/^\)
(\ /) THERE'S NOTHING IN THIS GOD'S UNIVERSE WORSE THAN DOWNLOADING
.-'-. A MOVIE LABELLED "KIANNA DIOR" ONLY TO FIND OUT THAT WHEN
/(_I_)\ YOU'RE ALL SET LOTION SMEARED LIGHTS TURNED DOWN AND
\\) (// EVERYTHING THAT IT'S ACTUALLY KIANNA *BRADLEY*
/ \
\ | / IS THIS PATRICK STEWART OR TERA PATRICK ??!?!?!?!/
\|/
/|\ TRULY CAN ANYONE DISTINGUISH BETWEEN HOLLY BODY AND ROCKI ROADS
\|/
jgs /Y\ BECAUSE THESE MORONS NAMING THESE FILES SURE FUCKING CAN'T
AND IT'S PUTTING MY BONER TO A SLOW AND PAINFUL DEATH
%
/;
/ |'-,.
/ ' `"---,.__
/ ' ,' , '"--,"|
/ ' , ,' ,"::| I'M LIVEBLOGGING ME READING THIS BOOK
/ ' ,' , ,"::::|
/ ' , ,' ,"::::::L I.E., I'M A USELESS SHITBAG
/ ' ,' ,' ,"::::::::L
/ ' , , ,":::::::::J
k-,._ ,' _.":::::::::::J
\. `"----'"".J::::::::::::|
\. .-, .L:::::::::::|
\. ( .J:::::::::::!
\. `-- .L:::::::::/
\. .-. .|::::::::/
\. ( ) .J:::::::/
\. `-' .L:::::/
\. L .|::::/
\. !__ .J:::/
\. __ .L:/
\. L_) .|/
`-,__,-' kth
%
( )___( )
/__oo \
( \/ ) YOU'RE THE STUPID FUCKING COCKSUCKER
| `=/ | WHO PUTS UP RETARDED SITES WITH BLINKING
/ \ SHIT AND THEN SHARES THEM WITH FELLOW
/ / \ \ FUCKING STUPID COCKSUCKERS NOW, DOG !!!!!!!
/ ( \ \
( ,_/_ \ \
\_ '= \ )
""' / /
; / /'?
: (((( /
ctr `._ \ _ (
__| | /_
("__,.."'_._.)
%
.-. .-.
/ `.' \ .-.
/ \ / -.
./_____________\|/-.
' |_____________|O \
' /
`._________________.
||' '|| WHAT'S UP MY N-WORDS
||' #### #### '||
' '| 'o` 'o` |' '
` @ )-' `-( @ '
`.@ ' ' @.'
@@ ((_)) @@
' ////\\\\ '
`. `--' .'
`.______.
utis
%
_,,,_
.' `'.
/ ____ \ HEY HERE'S A POP QUIZ
| .'_ _\/
/ ) a a| WHAT DO PAULA POUNDSTONE AND GARY CONDIT
/ ( > | BOTH HAVE IN COMMON ?!?!?!?!?
( ) ._ /
) _/-.__.'`\ YES THAT'S RIGHT THEY'RE BOTH WORTHLESS
( .-'`-. \__ ) SACKS OF SHIT WHO WERE SAVED BY 9/11
`/ `-./ `.
| \ \ \
jgs | \ \ \ \
|\ `. / / \
%
,.
|`:.
| `:.
m1a | |`.`:;@.
| |;.`.`;| WHAT'S THE BEST INVENTION OF 1990S-ERA
; `.';| || ELECTRONICS ??!?!?!? THE LACK OF A POWER SWITCH
,(`;.`.| ||
/8o (`:. || THAT'S RIGHT CONSUMERS
/o8888o `; ||
/@o8888888o (`;| YOU'RE TOO STUPID TO BE TRUSTED TO KNOW WHEN
(`.()oO888888o (< TO TURN SOMETHING ON OR OFF SO JUST PLUG IT IN
`.`.;:oO08c{)/ | AND THEN GO FUCK YOURSELF
`.`.(),0 / /
`.`.`/ /
`.( /
%
_ __ __ _
| '_ \ / _` | PSTUPIDIDEAQ.COM
| |_) | (_| |
| .__/ \__, |
|_| |_| tQn
%
_,. ___. .
____ ,._ --=:_ *: ======((|_L]_ \\ cjr
c:____]((=- :* _:=- - - - - `' (__(____) \\
/ // ___ `' ,._ \\___.
/ // _/_/_]=== :* _:=-- ,. ___. _((|_L]_
_/ //_.(_(_)(_).. `' --=: *: ======((|_L]_ _/(__(\_ _)\_
/____\_\ `.... `' (__(____)
ROGER EBERT WOULDN'T KNOW A GOOD WAR MOVIE IF IT GAVE HIM CANCER
YEAH THAT'S RIGHT I SAID IT
I CAN GO FROM ZERO TO COMPLETE PRICK IN SIXTY SECONDS

%
.------. .------. I'M CONCERNED YOU DON'T BELIEVE
.' //`. .' `. MY BALLS ARE SAUCY ENOUGH
/ // \ / \
| // : | ......:::::
: // | :::::'''''' BECAUSE FUCK YOU PAL THEY'RE WAY SAUCY
\ // / \ /
`._// _.' `._ _.'
`"----"' `"----"' AsH
%
__________________________________________________________________
/ ____ ____ ____ ____ ____ ____ ____ \
/ | | [____] [____] [____] [____] [____] [____] ____ \
/ | | | | \
/ |____| ____ ____ ____ ____ ____ ____ | | \
/ [____] [____] [____] [____] [____] [____] |____| \
/_________________________________________________________________\ DP
IS SUDOKU LIKE CRACK TO NERDS OR WHAT

%
itz -_
`-;-_ ,--.__
`-;-/. ,/\-`. EVEN JACK BAUER USES A TREO
_//"\\ l'/Y=|
/'-? \\ `;\-|
,' ;/ \\ \|;
./' ;' \\ \(
,-" _;' \\ `
,-'_;-" \
"'
%
_\|/_
/--\
|[]| IF MARC WALLICE WAS THE ZERO PATIENT DOES
_] \/ [_ THAT MEAN I'M THE NEGATIVE ONE PATIENT
/_ `==' _\
\\| |//
l\ __/j
`|-'##|
|#||#|
|#||#|
_|#||#|_
`==" "==`
as
%
///.
// 7 I'M SORRY BUT IF NO ONE ELSE HAS THE
Y `-__.`. .\\ COURAGE TO SAY IT I WILL:
/ .----' 7'/
/ / \\/ \ ROMAN NUMERALS ARE GAY
/___/ | a='
\ \ /_ /
/ / \\ \
/ .' \\ \
`--` ''-' AsH
%
~~~ THIS IS ME IN 1994
___________ ) () ))() c' TOASTING UPPERCASE
/I\ \ ( )( (()( - O'S OVER THE FIRE
/ I \ \ \/\ \\/\ -O--===o---|
/ I \ \ \_\_/_/ | THIS WAS BEFORE 9/11
/___I___\_________\ ()_()_) |_____| WHEN WE COULD BRING THEM
ON THE PLANES
%
X
// \\
/ \X I
// // WOULD
// / LIKE
// // YOUR
/ // BLOG
// / BETTER
// // IF
+------------+ YOU
||************| | SHOWED
||\X********// || YOUR
| \\\-----// // | TITS
| \-------/ | (CHORUS)
| |
| |
| |
+---+---------------+----+
+------------------------+
+------------------------+
%
_
(_)
|______________________________________
|&&&&&&& &&&&&&&|
|&&&&&&& &&&&&&&|
|&&&&&&& &&&&&&&| QUEBEC IS LIKE
|&&&&&&& .\^/. &&&&&&&|
|&&&&&&& . |&&&| . &&&&&&&| THE CANADA
|&&&&&&& |\|&&&|/| &&&&&&&|
|&&&&&&& .--'&&&&&&&'--. &&&&&&&| OF CANADA
|&&&&&&& \&&&&&&&&&&&/ &&&&&&&|
|&&&&&&& >&&&&&&&&&< &&&&&&&|
|&&&&&&& '~|/~~|~~\|~' &&&&&&&|
|&&&&&&& | &&&&&&&|
|&&&&&&& &&&&&&&|
|&&&&&&& &&&&&&&|
|&&&&&&&________________________&&JGS&&|
|~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
%
(())))
______ (()o))() IF LIFE HANDS YOU LEMONS,
.-'.-' |`-. (()) o(() HOLLOW THEM OUT AND FUCK THEM
.-' .' \ | / `.(())) (()) _
.' /`. \ |/ .'((()__())) (_)
. ; ` .\ |. ' /( )( )\ / _)
( |-------( )---/ /\ /\ / / _
`. ; . '/ |\ . \ \ ) ( \_/ (_)
. \.' / | \ ` \ \ \ _
`-. `. / | \ .(_/_____\ (_)
`-._`-.__|_.-' "\""\"/"
""""" \ \
/\ \ _
/ /| | (_)
/ / | |
( / |/
)/ ( \
" `.`. jro
%
__
/ \--..____
\ \ \-----,,,..
\ \ \ \--,,..
\ \ \ \ ,'
\ \ \ \ ``..
\ \ \ \-''
\ \ \__,,--'''
\ \ \.
\ \ ,/ VOTE AGLHAGHLGAHLAGLHG FOR SENATE
\ \__..-
\ \
\ \
\ \ :F_P:
\ \
\ \
\ \
\ \
\ \
\ \
%
@(\/)
(\/)-{}-)@
@(={}=)/\)(\/)
(\/(/\)@| (-{}-)
(={}=)@(\/)@(/\)@
(/\)$={}=)/(\/)
@(\/)\(/$/(={}=)
(-{}-)""""@/(/\)
(/\)|: |
/::' \
/::: \ THAT MISANTHROPIC BITCH LADY
|::' | SEEMS A LITTLE GRUMPY
|:: |
\::. /
jgs ':______.'
`""""""`
%
_
(_)
|______________________________________
|&&&&&&& &&&&&&&|
|&&&&&&& &&&&&&&|
|&&&&&&& &&&&&&&|
|&&&&&&& .\^/. &&&&&&&|
|&&&&&&& . |&&&| . &&&&&&&|
|&&&&&&& |\|&&&|/| &&&&&&&|
|&&&&&&& .--'&&&&&&&'--. &&&&&&&|
|&&&&&&& \&&&&&&&&&&&/ &&&&&&&|
|&&&&&&& >&&&&&&&&&< &&&&&&&|
|&&&&&&& '~|/~~|~~\|~' &&&&&&&|
|&&&&&&& | &&&&&&&|
|&&&&&&& &&&&&&&|
|&&&&&&& &&&&&&&|
|&&&&&&&________________________&&JGS&&|
|~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
WE PROMISE NOT TO EXECUTE HIM IF YOU EXTRADITE HIM !!!!!!!
LOL THANKS PSYCH WE'RE GOING TO KILL HIM ANYWAY (DUMBASSES)
LOOK MAYBE IF YOUR PUBLIC POLICY WEREN'T SO GIRLY AND RETARDED

WE WOULDN'T HAVE TO TRICK YOU
%
__ _.--..--._ _
.-' _/ _/\_ \_'-.
|__ / _/\__/\_ \__| IS THAT A BIOZEMINADE
|___/\_\__/ \___|
\__/
\__/
\__/
\__/
____\__/___
. - ' ' -.
/ \
~~~~~~~ ~~~~~ ~~~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~~~
~~~ ~~~~~ ~!~~ ~~ ~ ~ ~ ~pjb
%
_______
VK ___/_____ _)____ BEATING OFF
.-'-' ____)______)
| .-' ______)__) (PROPHYLACTICALLY)
| --- _______))
| `-. _______))
`---.___________)
%
______
[===| |====]
| ||
| || COULD SOMEONE GET NADIACL004.JPG A TOWEL (OR WETNAP)
ejm97 |=====||
|=====||
'"""""'|
| |
'"""""'
%
___ THAT WAS VERY CUTE, A LITTLE OVER A MILLION --
/_ _\ A MILLION OVER A MILLION WHAT DID WOODLEIGH
( - - ) ACTUALLY SAY TO YOU TO BUY YOUR
__\ _ /__ SINS OF OMISSION ON THE STAND
/ \_/ \
__/___________\__ //\\
| JUDGE |\ ____ (//\\)
| || / ___) _\__/_
| || (.~O=O / \
| || _\_-/ / / \ \
| || / \|/\ \_\ |/
| ||_/_|____|\__ (/_____|
| | WITNESS |\ | _ _ |
| | ||__| | |_____jro
| | || | | |
|________________|____________|/ |__|__|
(__/ \__)
%
___
`-._\ / `~~"--.,_
------>| `~~"--.,_
jgs _.-'/ '.____,,,,----"""~~```'
IF ALL SCRUBS ARE NOT ALLOWED IN YOUR CAR

AND SOME PEOPLE WHO THINK THEY ARE PLAYERS ARE SCRUBS
AND I THINK I'M A PLAYER BUT CANNOT BE SURE
THEN WHY DOES THIS HURT SO MUCH
%
,-_ (\_
|-_'-, ) )_/)
|-_'-' (\_ /` <
_ |-_'/ `<` `6' \`--,__
/;-,_ |-_' à , / __ `\_
/-.-;,-,___|' o_/)'> ( ___/ `. _
/;-;-;-;_;_/|\_ _ _ _ _ / \\_, \ _ (|
x_( __`|_P_|`-;-;-;,| / _ \__) .`' `\ \
|\ \ _|| `-;-;-' /__/ \ __ |\_/
| \` -_|| '-' _/< / / \ ; |
| / /-_| \ (\_/ / (! ! \| /
|/ ,'-_| \ / \!_!/ \ /
/____|'-_|___\ (' __/ \_ `)
_..,____]__|_\-_'|_[___,.._ /__/ \ \
' _=_= `'--. _/< `>\_
mic _=_= _(\_/ -- '' -'-' |\_/)
_=_= òo O() 0OOo'
THE DUTCH ARE FUNNY (AND EASILY OVERRUN AS IT TURNS OUT)

%
__ ___
(_ ) / _)
,\_' '_;
.-.-. _, .-.-. IF I COULD BE ANY BONE IN THE HUMAN
/| _\ \ \ / /_ |\ BODY WHY OBVIOUSLY I'D BE THE COCCYX
` \/\_| '--,. ' |/\_/ '
| _ ;_ ;_ |
,.\\/_) < /.)`,
\ | `-/
\ | |/
o o o
| | \
| | \\_
n4b1s ,-_-_ _'
%
---. ---. ---. ---. ---. -. +---. PLEASE STOP BEHAVING LIKE
| / | | - | | | | JEWS ON AIRPLANES YOU SCARE
| | | / ___|_ | | | _| | | THE FUCK OUT OF THE NON-JEWS
| WHO AREN'T USED TO YOUR CRAZY
JERKY FRIGHTENING JEW PRAYER
%
sSSSSSs
SS;; SSSS
S< ?SSS HAS ANYONE ELSE NOTICED THAT THE HOSTESS OF
S> SSS JUNKYARD WARS LOOKS LIKE MY SHRIVELED UP DICK
___)(____
( \/ )
\||, )( ( / (
\\/ /\ / \ \
\./ )==( / /
/ \//'
( '|\`
\ /
\ /
) (
/ \
jgs / \
/ \
`-........-' OKAY IT LOOKS LIKE MY STAGE TIME IS UP I JUST
/ ) / ) WANT TO GIVE A BIG UP TO MY PEOPLE IN BROOKLYN
/_/|/_/|
PEACE OUT
%
.-.
(/^\) YOU KNOW A CHICK IS REALLY CLASSY WHEN
(\ /) SHE USES THE STAGE NAME "CUNTESS"
.-'-.
/(_I_)\
\\) (//
/ \
\ | /
\|/
/|\
\|/
jgs /Y\
%
_,________
sjw _T _==____() IF YOU SHOOT YOUR DICK
/##(_)-' THEN WHEN YOU PEE
/##/ IT'S LIKE A FOUNTAIN
%
_,,,_
.' `'.
/ ____ \
| .'_ _\/
/ ) a a|
/ ( > |
( ) ._ /
) _/-.__.'`\
( .-'`-. \__ )
`/ `-./ `.
| \ \ \
jgs | \ \ \ \
|\ `. / / \
DAY 1: MILD SPOTTING TO HEAVY FLOW

DAY 2: HEAVY FLOW
DAY 3: HEAVY FLOW
DAY 4: HEAVY FLOW AND BITCHINESS
DAY 5: AVAILABLE FOR SEX UPON RECEIPT OF EXPENSIVE PRESENTS
%
_________________
/_________________\
|====#=#=#=#=#====|
_________________________________________| |
/ |_____________ |
/________________________________________________________\ |
| [+] [+] [+] [+] [+] [+] [+] [+] [+] [+] [+] [+] [+] | |
:==============================================================:|
| [+] [+] [+] [+] [+] [+] [+] [+] [+] [+] [+] [+] [+] [+] [+] ||
|--------------------------------------------------------------||
| [+] [+]:[+]:[+]:[+]:[+] [+] [+] [+] [+] [+] [+] [+] [+] [+] ||
| ::::::::::::: ||
| [+] [+]:[+]:[+]:[+]:[+] [+] ( ) [+] [+] [+] [+] [+] [+] [+] ||
| :::::::::::( ) ( ) ||
()[+] ()]:[():[():[( ) ) [( | )+] [+] [+] [+] [+] [+] [+] ||
( ) ( ):( ))( )( )( | ) ) ( ) () ( ) ( ))|
( )( ))( )( ( ) ( ) ) | ( )( )( )( )[+] [+]( ( ))
( )) ( )( ( )( )( ( ) ( | ) )( ) )( ) )---:::::( ) )
============================= | ( ) ( ) ) ( ) ::::::( )
-----------------------------=====================================
- _ -- __ - --__ _ - _ _ - -------------------------------------
_ -- _ -- --_ -- _ - __ | -- __ -- - _ -- --- _ __ -- -
-- _ --- __ - _-- | --_ - __ -- ___ -- _ - __ - - _ _
_ -- __ -- - - _ - | - _ - _ -- _ --- _ -- _ --- bni
TURNS OUT THIS B2B PROPOSAL WAS JUST A2M

%
(
_ ) )
_,(_)._ (( I'M A LITTLE TEAPOT SHORT AND STOUT
___,(_______). )
,'__. / \ /\_ THIS IS MY (CENSORED) AND THIS IS MY CUNT
/,' / |""| \ / /
| | | |__| |,' /
\`.| /
`. : : /
`. :.,'
Stef `-.________,-'
%
WE'RE CATALOGUING ALL THE INTERNET-RELATED APRIL FOOL'S
PRANKS THIS YEAR ON WIKIPEDIA BECAUSE WE'RE TOTALLY NERDS
WHO NEED TO DIE
_ \ I MOLEST CHILDREN
|_| \ __ /
| #..# \OO
| .)(. ||.
________ || _____ dd _________/
------------------------------' jg
%
___ ,-`.
.-~~ ~~-.,-~ _~ WHY COULDN'T CASSINI JUST WRESTLE WITH SATURN
#` `._- WHILE HUYGENS KICKED TITAN'S ASS AND THEN
.` _-~. THEY'D BOTH TAKE THEIR LUNCH MONEY AND RUN
rwb | _- | BEFORE EITHER OF THEM CAUGHT ON
` _-~ '
. _-~`. _-~ .'
,-' _,-~`-__ __-'
,.-~` . ~~~
%
SO IF ALL GOOD MUSLIMS ARE SUPPOSED TO KILL NON-MUSLIMS
THEN WHICH ONE ARE WE AND WHO'S THE ONE THAT'S GOING TO
TURN THEIR DESERTS INTO GLASS AND THEN PAVE THEM OVER
AND BUILD WALMARTS, BURGER KINGS, AND PORN SHOPS
_.,-*~'^'~*-,._ ( _.,-*~'^'~*-,._
| '*-,._ _.,-*' '-,._
| '*-,.__.,-*' '*-,.__.,-*,
| |
`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'
%
___
/ ,_\ _____ WELCOME TO CHOCOLATE CITY
/ _)/ /o \
| \ /_ ` \_________ POPULATION: STUPID
| \____ >__,_ \ |
| )) )__, |
\,___________ // / \ |_
)__//__/ \ __).
________/o / \____/
/` \ QUESTION: I GOT FIVE DAYS'
/ \_______ _// WARNING ABOUT THE HURRICANE
_/ \ \ \____ __,--. FROM THE GOVERNMENT SO WHY
/ / \ \_), \ DIDN'T GOD SAVE ME ??????
\_____/ \_________/ \\ \
______/_/ (___/ ANSWER: OH RIGHT IT'S
/ o\ BECAUSE GOD SENT THE
'-----^--' b'ger HURRICANE TO KILL ME
%
_.-+. I HAVE A SPECIAL FETISH WHEREIN I ONLY DESIRE
_.-"" '. ORANGE-COLORED CUBES WITH DIMENSIONS GREATER
+:"" '. THAN 10 CM AND LESS THAN 100 CM
J \ '.
L \ _.-+ I KNOW IT'S A WEIRD ONE BUT IT'S TOTALLY MY
| '. _.-" | PREFERENCE AND THE FACT THAT I'VE NEVER
J \ _.-" L ENCOUNTERED ONE NOR HAVE I EVER ACTUALLY
L +" J EXPERIENCED INTERCOURSE WITH ONE IS NO EXCUSE
+ | | FOR DENYING ME MY SPECIAL PRIVILEGE BECAUSE
\ | .+ I WAS BORN THIS WAY AND THIS IS HOW THINGS WORK
\ | .-' IN RETARDED AMERICA
\ | .-'
\| .-'
+' hs
%
_ _.--.____.--.__
( )=.-":;:\ \"-._ WE DEMAND THE RIGHT TO LIVE IN THIS
\\\:;:;:;:; ( ,:. \$$$\ COUNTRY AND NOT PAY TAXES AND GET
\\\:;:;:;| )::: )$$$\ FULL CITIZENSHIP RIGHTS FOR FREE
\\\:;::;:\ \o(/)o/($$$$$\
\\\:;:;:;\ `-.-' \$$$$$\ YES I'M SAYING THIS WITHOUT STOPPING
\\\:;::;:\ ' ` \$$$$$\ A BEAT BECAUSE I THINK IT MAKES SENSE
\\\;;:;::,--:_:_:-^$$$$$\
\\\_.-"" `"""$\ I'M GOING TO SHOW MY LOVE FOR YOUR
\\ COUNTRY BY WAVING THE MEXICAN FLAG
\\ LIKE A HUGE FAT IDIOT FUCKWAD WHO
\\ WANTS SOMETHING FOR NOTHING
\\
\\
hh+geni+vk \\
+hrr
%
| | / /
\ /
\__ ____ /
/ \ / \ |
/| / | \ \
/ |____________/ / | |_____________/////////
< |____________| | |(______________ ()
\ | / () | () | | \\\\\\\\\
\| | __|__ | |
_|___/___ \___ | |
__---- ----__\---\_
/ __ |
\____-------------______/ \
/ / / / _/
/ \ / / /
/ $ / / YOU'RE INAPPROPRIATELY TOUCHING
/ / / AND STOPPING ME
| | /
\______________//
\________/
%
#
##
##### ###
########### ####
############## ##
################ ###
################## ##
###################### #####
#################################
########################### #########
############################# ############
##################### ## ### #### ## ########
############# ############### #### # #########
######################## ## ## #### ## #########
## ## ############ ######### ## #### ## ### #######
##### ############ ######### ## ### ## ## ############
## ############## ##### ##### ## # ##### ## ### ##########
## ## ######## ## ########### ## # ##### # ###### #######
##### ######## ### # ######### # ###### # ## # ############
##### ######## ### # ### ## ## # ##### ## ##############
### ######### ## ### ## ## ##### ###### ##########
### #### #### ### ### ## # ### # ###########
### #### ##### ### ### ### ##########
### #### ###### ####### ########
### #### ###### # ### ####
### ### #######
### #### ######
## ##### #### VEGAS WAS TOTALLY BORING, I DIDN'T GET
#### ####### TO KILL A SINGLE HOOKER
## ## #######
### ### ######
## ### ####
## #######
### ####
## ##
##
%
<(((((( A MODEST PROPOSAL IN THE CRIMINALIZATION OF
/_ _ ) EVANGELIZATION: BECAUSE IF YOU BELIEVE IN
( . . ) THE RAPTURE YOU MAY BE MILDLY RETARDED AND
( / ) THEREFORE UNSUITABLE FOR PUBLIC SERVICE
---oOOo------------oOOo---
%
_,,--,,_
/` .`\
/ ' _.-' \
| `'_{}_ |
| /` `\ |
\/ == == \/
/| (.)(.) |\
\| __)_ |/
|\/____\/|
| ` ~~ ` |
\ /
jgs `.____.`
WHAT WOULD UNITED 93 DO

%
_______
/ /,
/ // WAITER THERE'S A FLY IN MY MANGA
/______//
JR (______(/
%
m
$m mm m FOR THE LAST TIME
"$mmmmm m$" mmmmmmm$"
"""$m m$ m$"""""" GET OUT OF MY WAY
mmmmmmm$$$$$$$$$"mmmm YOU INHUMAN QUEER
mmm$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$ m$$$$m " m " COCKSUCKERS I'VE GOT
$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$ $$$$$$"$$$ DUNG TO ROLL INTO
mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm $$$$$$$$$$ BALLS
$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$ $$$$$$$""" m
"$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$ $$$$$$ " " THEN I'VE GOT TO DRIVE
"""""""$$$$$$$$$$$m """" THOSE BALLS TO MARKET
mmmmmmmm" m$ "$mmmmm
$$"""""" "$ """"""$$ THE SHIT MARKET
m$" "m "
" YAH MULE
%
_____
.'/L|__`. BREAKING NEWS !!!!!!!!!!!
/ =[_]O|` \ IT'S OFFICIAL FOLKS
|"+_____":|
__:='|____`-:__ TRY AS YOU MIGHT YOU CAN'T
||[] ||====| []|| SODOMIZE A WATERMELON WITHOUT
||[] | |=| | []|| DRILLING SOME KIND OF HOLE FIRST
|:||_|=|U| |_||:|
|:|||]_=_ =[_||:| IT TURNS OUT LOTS OF OBJECTS
| |||] [_][]C|| | PRESENT THE SAME PROBLEM
| ||-'"""""`-|| |
/|\\_\_|_|_/_//|\ SUCH AS LEMONS, GRAPEFRUITS AND PINEAPPLES
|___| /|\ |___| WHO SAY NO AND BITE AND WON'T OPEN
`---' |___| `---' THEIR LEGS AND ARE ALL GET AWAY AND
`---' LIKE HELP HELP OH GOD HE'S GOT A KNIFE
%
_____________ o< THE CHICAGO PORT FIRE WAS
CAUSED BY THE HULK, SENT BACK
...____ _.-----.._ IN TIME BY THE ILLUMINATI
-' . ``:--.
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=====
&%&%%%&
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&\__/
\ |____
.', , ()
/ -. _)| I HAVE NO ARMS
|_(_. | I AM COLD TO THE TOUCH
'-'\ ) | I DON'T TALK
mrf ) | I CAN'T RUN AWAY
/ . ).
/ _. | GAZE UPON ME
/'---':.-'| FOR I AM THE PERFECT WOMAN
(__.' / /
\ ( / /
\ / _ |
\ | '|
| . \ |
|( |
| \ \ |
\ )\ |
__)/ / \
--"--(_.Ooo'----
%
(\-/) JUST BECAUSE THEY WEAR SHORT PANTS DOESN'T
(:O O:) AUTOMATICALLY MAKE THEM GAY FAGS
\ /o\
| |\o \ CASE IN POINT: THE MAILMAN IS NOT A FAG AND
(:) \ o\ RAIN SLEET NOR SNOW HE WON'T TAKE KINDLY
\o \--_ TO BEING FONDLED AT GUNPOINT
( o O
( O I KNOW IT'S A FEDERAL OFFENSE BUT STILL MMMMM
%
YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE
SO MIGHT AS WELL TAKE IT UP THE ASS
.._ _.--.
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|:::::::::::::|
.---'::''''''''''':-->
---____________----"
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|| )/::\ \:::::| |:::'',':::|
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//:::::::::::\ |:::. ~ :::|
%
?
____"_ GLORY BE I AM | |
/" _))) SO INTELLECTUAL |\_/|______,
/===( _\ /::| Q ____) HEY ME TOO
("___| > ,_ /:::| / ,_
o _= / _/// /::::|_ / / _/// LISTEN
_______| |____/ | _|:::::| |:___/ |
| __) \_/ /____| | '----'\_/ /___| LET'S GET TOGETHER AND
_| / \ ) ) _| / \ : / DISCUSS GENDER ROLES
_\\\__/ \ / _\\\__/ \ /
/ ( /===( REMEMBER THE MORE
/ \ \ / \ POLYAMOROUS RELATIONSHIPS YOU
/ \ \ / \ ARE IN THE SMARTER YOU ARE
| \ \ | \
| \ \ WHAT THE FUCK | \
| \ \ ARE YOU? AND |,_________\
| \ \ CAN I HAVE / ) / )
|,_______\___\ SEX WITH / / ( | I AM GENDER NEUTRAL
| / \ | YOU? | / \ | YOU DUMB WHORE
|/ \| |/ \|
S__ S__ S__ S__ AND YES
/___\ /___\ b'ger /___\ /___\
%
|
,|,
||| DO YOU THINK GOD WILL
/ | \ UNDERSTAND IF I'M NOT
| | | PRAYING TO HIM RIGHT NOW
| | | BECAUSE I'M BEATING OFF
/ | \ WHICH SEEMS MUCH MORE
| | | PRODUCTIVE
| | \
/ \ | WRITE BACK
| | |
| | \
/ | |
8 | | |
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8 / \ ,\
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; : CALLING ME A FAGGOT
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THERE'S NOTHING QUITE LIKE RAINING ON A BIG JERKOFF PARADE
|
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"------"
OKAY I GOT TO THE PART IN NEED FOR SPEED: MOST WANTED WHERE
A GIRL IS DRIVING THE MUSTANG GT AS YOUR OPPONENT ON THE BLACKLIST
MY FIRST REACTION WAS THAT THIS WAS SOME WEIRD KIND OF SCIENCE
FICTIONAL ALTERNATE UNIVERSE
BUT THEN I REALIZED IT WAS FANTASY
YOU KNOW: SWORDS AND SORCERERS AND MINOTAURS AND COMPETENT FEMALE
DRIVERS
%
[\
.----' `-----. ASS 2 MOUTH 2 ASS 2 MOUTH 2 ASS 2 MOUTH 2 CAB
//^^^^;;^^^^^^`\
_______//_____||_____()_\________
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`-._} {_} |_ \ | _.' _/, ``'""-`\ `.__.'
`""{_} /_ / |`= `" `-.( ,__/.
FOLKS I'D LIKE TO HAVE A SERIOUS DISCUSSION ABOUT THE GPL AND
OH GOD HORRIBLE DIARRHEA
%
__)),
//_ _)
( "\" I LIKE TO RELEASE GAS FROM MY
\_-/ (CHECK ONE)
,---/ '---.
/ - - \
/ \_. _|__,/ \ [ ] MOUTH
/ )\ )\_ \
/ _/ ( ' ) / / [ ] ANUS
/ | (_____) | /
/,' / \/ /, [ ] A NEWLY CREATED HOLE
_/(_ ( ._, )-'
`--,/ |____|__|
| ) |
| / |
| / \ |
/ `| | _)
| | | |
| / \ |
| | \ |
| \ | \_
gnv /__( '-._`,
%
.-. _ |`\ I'M A VEGETARIAN !!!!! I.E., A RETARD !!!!!!!!
\_\_(")_|__)
\ /
'(^)-(^)' I'M A VEGAN !!!!!!!! I.E., TAKING IT UP THE ASS !!!!!
ldb~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
%
_
_ / |
/ \ | | /\
\ \| |/ /
\ Y | /___ STACK-BASED HANDJOB
.-.) '. `__/
(.-. / /
| ' |
|___|
[_____]
jgs | |
%
, ,
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/ (((\\)\ \ IS IT JUST ME OR IS ADINA HOWARD
\ \\-_/ / / KIND OF SLUTTY
\ i i /
(_)=(_)
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/ / \ \
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/ / \ \
hjw /-) (-\
/ ^! !^ \
%
_,...,_
.'@/ \@'. CAN I JUST SAY THIS ONCE AND FOR ALL SO THAT THERE
// \___/ \\ ARE NO MORE QUESTIONS ON THE SUBJECT AND WE CAN
|@\__/a@a\__/a| FINALLY PUT IT TO REST:
|a/ \@@@/ \@|
\\__/ \__// SOCCER SUCKS ASS
jgs `.a\___/a.'
%
.--.
{\ / q {\
{ `\ \ (-(~`
{ '.{`\ \ \ ) IF I COULD BE ANY KIND OF HOLIDAY MEAL
{'-{ ' \ .-""'-. \ \ I'D BE A TURDUCKEN
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_______\\__
(_. _ ._ _/ I'M A FRED FRIENDLY SEMINAR
'-' \__. /
/ /
/ / .--. .--.
( ( / '' \/ '' \ "
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|| _ './
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%
_,-. ,-._
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\(,' ' ,,-' `-,, ` `,)/ FAG FACE-OFF IN
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\(`--' `\ /' `--')/ -hrr-
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MJP. `----\ /----' .'|(
GLHAGLHGA HLAGHLAGHGAL HLAG HLG AHLAG HL AGHLGAHLAG HLG AHL GHLAG

HLGAHLGA HLAG HAG HGA GLHAGHL CAN'T BELIEVE IT'S NOT BUTTER
GHLAGHLAGHL AGHALG HLGA HLAG HLGA HLGA HLAG HLA GHLAG HLAG HLAG
LHAGHLAGHLAGHLA HLGAHG HLGAHL AGHLAG HLGAHLGAHLAG LHGA HLGA HLGA
HLAG LHGHLGA L GAAGHL AHGL HL AG OH GOD IT'S EVERYWHERE GAHLAGHL HLG
HLGA HLAG HLGA HLGA HLG HLAGHL MMMMM YEAH OOH BOY GALHGAHLAGHLG
AHLAG HLAG HGA HLG ALHAG HLAG HLAG HLAGHLGAHLAGHLAG HL AGHLGAHAG HGA
HLAG HLAG HLAGHLGA AND REST
%
WHAT ABOUT BRING YOUR ILLEGAL IMMIGRANT TO WORK DAY
SO WE CAN DEPORT THEM

_____
_.'_____`._
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--------------; : : : : '.(_-(|__(-------------------------------
-----------------------------------\+/| \/:-------------------------------
`' )\|/\; `'
`' {,/ )\.] `'
`' {,/ `'

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
I WILL HAVE SEX WITH YOU FOR FIFTEEN GOLD AND A BROADSWORD
%
_ _ _ _
//|\ //|\ //|\ //|\ WHY DOES ALMA HAVE
c_"/ c_"/ c_"/ c_"/ TO BE SUCH A BITCH
__/\__ /\__ /\ /\
/ \ /\ \ /\/\ /\/\
/____\ /____\ /____\ /____\
S-v /l ll l\ ll OH
%
.--.----------------.
/ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ PLEASE JOIN MY BLOGROLL
/ \ \ SO I CAN WIPE WITH IT AND FLUSH
/ \ \
/ | |
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\................\
%
((),).
))) 6(6 THANK GOD BRITNEY SPEARS HAS A CAMEO ON WILL AND GRACE
((c` _e/ BEFORE IT'S CANCELLED BECAUSE LORD KNOWS I CAN'T QUITE
)))'( STUFF ENOUGH OF MY BALLS INTO MY OWN MOUTH
((( , \ AFTER CUTTING THEM OFF
)\ \ _o___,-
( )\.__,-._\ I MEAN IT'S TOUGH WORK FOR ONE MAN SO I NEED HELP
/ -/ \ |( FROM NETWORK TELEVISION PRODUCERS
___( /_)\ \ _____ _____
'.__,' \_\ -
`
joris
%
`>.___ o-.--.-o ___,<'
/ `. / ,, \ .' \
{ `.; ,__, ;.' }
`._ }`.__.'{ _.' ANNOUNCING R. KELLY'S NEW VIDEO:
`,=."' `".=,'
.' /`-.____.-'_ `, AKEELAH AND THE PEE
\_.';`-.______.-':`._/
`+-.______.-''
`-.____.-'
/ || \
; ;; ;
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%
___
.-v'---`\. YOU KNOW WHAT'S COOL ?!?!?!? KEEPING A CHANGELOG
/:/__ : __\'. ON YOUR WIKIPEDIA USER PAGE OF .................
|:/<O_>|<O>|:| YOUR CHANGES TO YOUR WIKIPEDIA USER PAGE !!!!!!
|:|\_..J...|:|
_|:|\ t----j|:|_ JESUS CHRIST GUY HOW BIG OF A BORING KNOW-
/:`.| \ \__/ |.':\ NOTHING LOSER CAN YOU REALLY BE
|: | |---: | :| _
\: |.-::.:|-:._:/ /|.' '.
/ .-' :'x71': `\ ||_ |
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|...| :|- : /
\_/. :|- :|
| :|- :|
cjr \ :|- :/ THE WIKIPEDOPHILIA IS STRONG WITH THIS ONE
| |- |
%
____
/` )))
/ `6 6 WHY DIDN'T BARTLET LEARN
) , >
\___\ _=/
__/ /__
===.__/`)__ _|\ CRIPPLES CAN'T SERVE IN PUBLIC OFFICE
\/ ,/ _)_)_\
/./\ ( \ \
\_\ )_,-'`-./_______
_( \======+________ \
//|__ | , ) \
%' `% |____/ /\ \
% ' %' \ /__/\ \/,\
% -o- % \ )/ \_ ) \
% ' % ,'/ ,' ,\ \
b'ger % % / /\_'__,' '-`
% % \/( o ) WHO THE FDR WHAT NOW
```
%
____
_[]_/____\__n_ YOU KNOW WHAT THIS SET OF PORN PHOTOS REALLY NEEDS
|_____.--.__()_|
|LI //# \\ | THE STUPID BITCH WE PAID GIVING THE CAMERAMAN THE FINGER
| \\__// |
| '--' | BRAVO, CUNT
'--------------'
jgs
%
____
\ \
_\___\_ TODAY IS THE FIRST DAY OF THE REST OF YOUR LIFE .........
/ " _)
((\__-_\
/ \\
/__| /\\
UUU / /
| /,_/ .................................. KNOWING YOU'RE GAY
|/|\ |__
/__\____\ gnv
%
,,_
{'%|=,
)< HALLE BERRY'S TITS ARE LIKE AN
< ,\ EXTRA CHARACTER IN MONSTER'S BALL
)( |
| )` WELL TWO EXTRA CHARACTERS I GUESS
|(
pb |/ WAIT DOES SWORDFISH MAKE IT FOUR CHARACTERS
='
%
,-----.
%%%%%%% SOCKS:
#######
%%%%%%% HELPFUL DAILY MUNDANE ARTICLE OF HUMAN CLOTHING
| |
| | OR
|& |
(&$ `-. TERRIFYING MENACE TO KITTEN SOCIETY WHICH MUST BE
`. $&& `. ATTACKED IMMEDIATELY UNDER ALL CIRCUMSTANCES
__`. * `. OR FACE THE HORRIBLE WRATH OF THE OPPRESSION
/ ""`-. ** \ OF THEIR WARM CLOTHY GOODNESS
\_______`-.___)
Krogg
%
/\/\
/ / / LOOK EITHER PICK UP THAT ASSAULT RIFLE
_/,/ / AND HELP US FIGHT THE STROGG
_/` (/"/////,
( '```--.___ OR JUST FUCKING GIVE UP
/' _), ,- '-. AND VOTE DEMOCRAT
/, / \ (\ \,
\_()/ \) )' =_ )) |
| | .// _/)
( ( \_ // /
\ >_,\ (/)= /
| | | \ #\| /
|=| |=|\ ( (
(=> ( >( >),)
| | |=| \ ( (
/ / / / ) |/
\ /_( /_( , || )/.,_
). /\\_(\,/, //- / /_(_( /
,\. b'ger .- '-'-'-,)\/.'))
%
.
\'~~~-,
\ '-,_ LOOK IT'S THE HISPANIC NASONEX BEE
\ /\ `~'~''\
_\ \\ \/~\ HE'S KIND OF FRIGHTENING REALLY
\__ \\ \
\ \\. \ GOOD ENOUGH REASON TO MAKE
\ \ \ `~~ ILLEGAL IMMIGRANTS FELONS
'\\ \. /
L \ \ |
\_\ \ o | _.----,
| \ ! /
'._ \_ __/ _/
\_ ''--'' __/
AM \.__ |
''.__ __.._ __\
'' './ `
%
____,-----' (
)' \
| |
| |
| |
|+++++++++++++++++++++|
|++++++++++++++++++++++ |_
__,-|+++++++++;""""""""""""" `--._
___,--' ~~~~~~~~~ _______________ _`-.
,' ________,-----'~~~~~~~~~~~~~~######-.
`---._____,-'~~~~~~~ __ ~~~~~~
~~~~~ ____ ____,---' \\
/::::\ /::::\ ||
|::::::|==|::::::|
\::::/ \:::::/
~~~~ ~~~~~
,---------------.
,'(___________ ) ;`.
/ \ / ,' `.
_/ `._ \_ / ,' `.
_/ `. \ / ,
/ `. (########) _/
| `-.\######/' /
|"""""""""""""""""""": | `----': _/
| : | : * * : /
| MY JIZZ IS : | : * : /
| INVISIBLE, MAN : | * /
| |
%
.-------..___ I'M COMING OUT WITH A NEW GAME CALLED: AGREEMENT
'-._ :_.-'
.- ) _ ( --. IT'S BASICALLY YOU SIT AROUND AND AGREE AND BE HAPPY
: '-' '-' ;. I'M TELLING YOU IT WILL SELL LIKE HOTCAKES !!!!
/'-.._____.-' |
| | \ | MY NEXT GAME WILL BE CALLED: NUANCE
\ | / \
| \ )_.-'LGB IF YOU'RE AN INDIVIDUAL OR A LABOR UNION OR AN ACTIVIST
'-._/__..-' OF ANY TYPE, YOU AUTOMATICALLY WIN
BUT IF YOU'RE A CORPORATION OR THE GOVERNMENT OR A

CAPITALIST THEN YOU AUTOMATICALLY LOSE !!!!
VOTE DEMOCRAT
%
((\
( _ ,-_ \ \ WHAT IF GOD WERE A *WOMAN* ?!!?!??!?
) / \/ \ \ \ \
( /)| \/\ \ \| | ALSO DID YOU EVER NOTICE THAT *GOD*
`~()_______)___)\ \ \ \ \ | IS *DOG* SPELLED BACKWARDS ?!?!?!?!?
|)\ ) `' | | |
/ /, | I'M STONER DEEP (WAS: RE: NOT VERY DEEP)
| | /
| | /
\ /
\ /
ejm ) /
/ /
/ /
/
%
__
,;'--`:.
// \\
(( __ ))
\\,' `.//
``.__,''
__( )__
_.-'_......_`-._
,'.;::;''''''::`-.`.
/ /:;'' _><|| `':,\ \
/ /:/ . ,'' ``. , \:\ \
: ::: ;.,- -.;' ::: :
| |:|><: (':,.;') :__|:| |
| |:|--: `' ;==|:| | SIZING UP KING OF ALL COSMOS' POUCH
: ::: \ / ;:; ;
\ \:\ `..__..' /:/ /
\ \::. ___ .::/ /
`.::::._|/\_..:::;,'
`:.::.`''::.:' SST
_..--''.-- --.`--.._
`._`--...________...--'_,'
``--...______...--''
%
__
(`/\
`=\/\ __...--~~~~~-._ _.-~~~~~--...__
`=\/\ \ / \\ WOULD YOU LIKE TO BUY STOCK
`=\/ V \\ IN MY BLOG
//_\___--~~~~~~-._ | _.-~~~~~~--...__\\
// ) (..----~~~~._\ | /_.~~~~----.....__\\ PROVING THAT YOU'RE EVEN
===( INK )==========\\|//==================== DUMBER THAN I AM
__ejm\___/________dwb`---`____________________
%
___
.-" "-. WHO WANTS MY BAGEL
.' . ; `.
/ : . ' : \
| ` .-. . ' |
| : ( ) ; ` |
| : `-' : |
\ .` ; : /
hjw `. . ' .'
`-.___.-' (EDITOR'S NOTE: CAUTION, NOT IN FACT A BAGEL)
%
EVERYBODY BREAKS
_[TT]_j__,( j"n,. __i_[TT]_

(_)oooo(_)' ,m^.Y.v )"(_)oooo(_) KB
%
| |
| |
| |
| |
| |
| |
| |
_____________|____________|_______________
| |
| |
| |
| |
| |
| |
_____________|____________|_______________
| |
| |
| |
| |
| |
| |
| |
KAMI THE AIDS MUPPET TO BLOCK

%
((
\\``.
\_`.``-.
( `.`.` `._
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`.-- `; .`._
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`-.`: ,' `._ .: (,-`,
\ ; ;. ,:
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`-^--' $-. `.``-.`-=:-.__)
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`-^---^--.`--'
%
.^._.^.
| . . | INFORMATION WANTS TO BE *FREE*
( --- )
.' '.
|/ \|
\ /-\ / AND ALSO A REALLY GOOD ICED MOCHA
V V
%
, ,
\y ,--.y/
/,---. )\ PORN OR NO PORN ?!??!?!?!?!
/ (((\$\ \
\ \\-_/ / /
\ i i /
(_)=(_)
) . (
/\---/\
/ )-( \
/ / \ \
/ ," ". \ NO PORN ?!?!?!? FUCK OFF
/ / \ \
hjw /-) (-\
/ ^! !^ \
%
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"$$o $$$$b.
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%
.-.
(/^\) MMMMMM MIDGETS AND HOOKER HALVES
(\ /)
.-'-.
/(_I_)\
\\) (//
/ \
\ | /
\|/
/|\
\|/
jgs /Y\
%
`;.`;'.
`;);.(~;(`; URINE RUNNING DOWN MY FACE
`(;);;;;;);(::` IS AS CLOSE AS I EVER GET TO CRYING
;)(; ; ;;~;;;(;
`(`;;~- -~(;~;)`)
;(`;) ' ;);;; ;
`;);;(;`\ ^_/(;)~;;);
(;);.;) ':);( ..(;
`'((;); )(.');`:
;.' );("'(""/; ;`.)
| | / / \ \;);:
| |/ /WwW\ \;`'
\ /) .X.\ \
\_/ .X. \_/ TS
%
.---.
___ /_____\
/\.-`( '.' ) GO GO GO
/ / \_-_/_
\ `-.-"`'V'//-. GET OUTTA THERE, SHE'S GONNA BLOW
`.__, |// , \
|Ll //Ll|\ \ STORM THE FRONT
|__// | \_\
/---|[]==| / / SOMETIMES I PUT A BALL POINT PEN DOWN THE
\__/ | \/\/ END OF MY DICK
/_ | Ll_\|
|`^"""^`|
| | |
| | |
| | |
| | |
L___l___J
jgs |_ | _| OKAY THAT LAST ONE WASN'T REALLY FROM
(___|___) COUNTER-STRIKE BUT YOU GET THE IDEA
^^^ ^^^
%
,d$Sb,
$SS$$S$b. I HAVE A POTENTIALLY VERY SERIOUS CASE OF
,S$/ 6`S$S$b GO FEVER
,$SS\ _$S$$$b
;$S$S$) $S$$S$;
$SS.-'\ :$SS$S
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S$/ / \ \$
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S\ \MMMMMMMMm /$$
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|;/MMMMMMM;
\MMMMMMMMM|
`\MMMMMMM\
|MMMMMMM|
|MMMMMMM|
;MMMMMMMM\
|MMMMMMMMM|
fsc /MMMMMMMMMM|
|MMMMMMMMMMM\
/MMMNNMNMMN/'
%
_.,-----/=\-----,._
(__ ~~~"""""""~~~ __)
| ~~~"""""""""~~~ |
| | ; , , ; | | I'M A TRI-COLOR MARK-AND-SWEEP CONCURRENT
| | | | | | | | GENERATIONAL CACHE-CONSCIOUS DISTRIBUTED
| | | | | | | | GARBAGE COLLECTING FAGGOT
| | | | | | | |
| | | | | | | |
| | | | | | | |
| | | | | | | |
| | | | | | | |
|. \_| | | |_/ .|
`-,.__ ~~~ __.,-'
DF ~~~~~
%
_
----(O) IF I COULD BE ANY KIND OF BIRD I'D BE A DRINKY BIRD
\
\_
( `'--.,
`,___/
|_\
/|
`|
^ Asik
%
,-"-.
*Y """-e EVER TOTALLY NOT FELT LIKE BEATING OFF
()|/)|) BUT MADE YOURSELF DO IT ANYWAY
)a a 3
( - / YOU KNOW BECAUSE YOU'RE A REAL TROOPER
.) (.
./ \V/ /\.
/ \ Y / \.
/ /\_\(/__/\ \
|\ | | / D
|_( D=oo==| //
/ /======) Y
| || | |
| || | |
| *|| |@ |
| * || @| *|
| * || @ | *|
| /|| .:*@|\/
||_____|
C C X
%
.oo.
HHHHHb.
/`HHHHHHb TO ALL STRIPPERS EVERYWHERE: FAST AND
> `dHHHHH ERRATIC MOVEMENTS ARE DISTRACTING OR
/ dHHHHHHb CONFUSING AND NOT SEXY
: HHHHHHHH
.-""FHHHHHHH ALSO IF YOU COULD MANAGE TO PRETEND FOR
| JHHHHHHH A MOMENT THAT YOU'RE MOVING WITH THE
J FHHHHHHb RHYTHM OF THE MUSIC THAT'S A PLUS
+ \ JHHHHHHH (YES I'M TALKING TO YOU CHRISTINA MODEL)
.' \ FHHHHHH+_
`. ; \ \HHHHF "+ IN ADDITION A GRIMACE LIKE YOU'RE BEING
`| _> \HHF+_ \ ELECTROCUTED IS ALSO NOT ACCEPTABLE
F_+" .'J | j
J+" .': F | j LOOK LADY MAKE PRETEND YOU'RE ENJOYING
_+" _+' : +_ | F IT OR AT LEAST NOT HOPPED UP ON CRANK
%" .-' . =.F j FOR TEN SECONDS HERE
| ;I \ =./
| (`-.......___+___L IF YOU DIDN'T WANT THIS JOB YOU SHOULD
```='"""""==_ "_.--' HAVE GOTTEN AN EDUCATION
| `./ J
| +' .' |
F J |
F JF F
J F| KroggF
%
|_
_____|~ |____
( -- ~~~~--_,
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~'` dr
MY SUPERPOWER IS BONER LOCATION
IT'S JUST LIKE ECHO LOCATION WITH SONAR BUT OPERATES UNDER A
DIFFERENT PRINCIPLE EXCEPT NOT REALLY
%
.:
I SPELL IT "CAESIUM" BECAUSE I'M A FAGGOT / )
( (
ALSO THAT WHOLE "ALUMINIUM" THING \ )
o ._(/_.
o |___%|
___ ___ ___ ___ ___ | %|
| | ._____|_|__|_|__|_|__|_|_____. | %|
| | |__________________________|%| | %|
|o| | | |%| | | | | |~| | | .|_%|.
.' '. | | |%| | | |~| |#| | | | ()%|
/ o \ | | :%: :~: : : :#: | | .__|___%|__.
:____o__: ._|_|_." " " "._|_|_. | ___%|_
'._____.' |___|%| |___|%| |_____(____ )
( (
\ '._____.-
grp '._______.-
%
.+------+
.' | .'| 4 8 15 16 23 42
+---+--+' |
| | | | ONE OF THESE NUMBERS IS GAY
| ,+--+---+
|.' | .' ALSO WHEN I DIVIDE SOME OF THEM BY EACH OTHER I GET
+------+' WEIRD LEFTOVER NUMBERS (IS THAT BAD)
%
____...
.-"--"""".__ `.
| ` |
( `._....------.._.: o< TUNGUSKA WAS NO METEOR
. ) ( <o> <o> g)
) ) / J I THINK WE KNOW WHO CAUSED IT
( |. / . (
$$ (. (_'. , )|` CLEARLY THE WORK OF ALIENS TRYING
|| |\`-....--'/ ' \ TO WARN US ABOUT THE WORLD EATER
/||. \\ | | | / / \.
//||(\ \`-===-' ' \o.
.//7' |) `. -- / ( OObaaaad888b.
(<<. / | .a888b`.__.'d\ OO888888888888a. OR THE HULK
\ Y' | .8888888aaaa88POOOOOO888888888888888.
\ \ | .888888888888888888888888888888888888b WHATEVER
| | .d88888P88888888888888888888888b8888888.
b.--d .d88888P8888888888888888a:f888888|888888b
88888b 888888|8888888888888888888888888\8888888
%
_
/\) _
_ / / (/\
/\) ( Y) \ \ COULD MARC DAVIS PLEASE FIX HIS WANG
/ / "" (Y ) SO IT DOESN'T LOOK LIKE HE HAS BEEN PLAYING
( Y) _ "" WITH KNIVES AND RUBBER BANDS OR SOMETHING
"" (/\ _
\ \ /\)
(Y ) / /
"" ( Y)
"" Krogg
%
_,.---.,_
_,' ',_ IF YOU LISTEN TO BLOGGERS PRETTY MUCH
,-' ', ,' '-, EVERYTHING IS A BLOG
,-''-, \ / ,-''-,
,''-._ `. ; ; .` _.-''. IF IT UPDATES REGULARLY WITH NEW
,' '. \ [ ] / .' '. CONTENT I GUESS IT'S A BLOG !!!!!
/---..,_ '. \ ; ; / .' _,..---\
| `'-. '.\ [ ] /.' .-'` | ALSO THINGS THAT CONTAIN OPINIONS
\..,,__ `-,\\; ;//,-` __,,../
`'-,._''--..,,_;\, ,/;_,,..--''_,.-'` AND EITHER TEXT OR HTML
`'-.,_ `'-'` _,.-'`
`'-. .-'` SHIT PRACTICALLY EVERYTHING IS A BLOG
sk '._.'
EVEN MY TOILET/RESTROOM/LAVATORY/BATHROOM/MEN'S ROOM
ALSO: WALLS, THE SKY, THE GROUND, THINGS MADE OF ATOMS
DO YOU BLOGGERS EVEN LISTEN TO YOURSELVES ANYMORE

%
___ _______________________
|===|=======================|
|||||_|_|_|_|_|_|_|_|_|_|_|_| GAYS AND LESBIANS MARCHING ON PARIS
[___[_________________________] FOR GAY PRIDE ?!?!?!?
|---|-------|--_-_--|-------|
|[ ]| [:.:] |,'`. `.| [:.:] | FIRST IMMIGRANTS THEN STUDENTS NOW
====|======== ||:|======== THE HOMO BRIGADE !?!?!?
||^|| {$} | ||:| {$} |
||:|| (:..) | ||:| (:.:) | JESUS DON'T YOU PARISIANS HAVE JOBS
||:||=======| ||:|=======| OR SOMETHING
||:||_______| ||:|_______|
OH
jrei
RIGHT
%
_,,--,,_
/` .`\ DEAR ZARQAWI
/ ' _.-' \
| `'_{}_ | GOODBYE FUCKER
| /` `\ |
\/ == == \/
/| (.)(.) |\
\| __)_ |/ I'M ARRANGING TO BE PERSONALLY SENT TO HELL SHORTLY
|\/____\/| SO I CAN PERSONALLY RAPE YOU DAY AFTER DAY FOR
| ` ~~ ` | ALL ETERNITY
\ /
jgs `.____.` SEVENTY VIRGINS, MY ASS
SCRATCH THAT: SEVENTY VIRGINS, YOUR ASS

%
_
/ } HUSBAND DIED IN A CAR ACCIDENT HUH ?!?!?!?
/'.\
_/ ) (`- DO PORN STARS REALLY HAVE FEELINGS OR ARE THEY
( ,) JUST EMPTY RECEPTACLES FOR ANONYMOUS SPURT
|/
/|
' ` Elb
%
__ ___ ___
,' ,' | | `. `.
,' ,' |===| `. `.
/ // |___| \\ \
/ // |___| \\ \
//// |___| \\\\
/ / || || \ \
/ / || || \ \
/| | || || | |\
|| | | : o : | | ||
| \| | .===. | |/ |
| |\ /| (___) |\ /| |
|__||.\ .-. // /,_._,\ \\ .-. /.||__|
|__||_.\ `-.\ //_ [:(|):] _\\ /.-' /._||__|
__/| ||___`._____ ___\\__/___/_ ||| _\___\__//___ _____.'___||_ |\__
/___//__________/.-/_____________|.-.|_____________\-.\__________\\___\
\___\\__\\\_____\`-\__\\\\__\____|_-_|____/_//_____/-'/__//______//__//
\|__||__..' // \ _ \__|||__/ _ / \\ `..__||__|/
|__||_./ .-'/ \\ |(|)| // \`-. \..||__|
| || / `-' \\ \'/ // `-' \ || |
| |/ \| :(-): |/ \| |
| /| | : o : | |\ |
|| | | |___| | | ||
\| | || || | |/
\ \ || || / /
\ \ ||___|| / /
\\\\ |___| ////
\ \\ |___| // /
\ \\ | | // /
`. `. |===| ,' ,'
`._`. |___| ,'_,' JR
WHY DO THEY LET ARABS ON DS9 ?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?
OR HAVE THEY ALL BEEN FIXED BY THE 24TH CENTURY

%
_,,,_ _
/////\\ _ |\ | \|\ _
// e e \\ / `|~\|_/|~\|_) _
(" > ") _ \_, |_)|_)
\\.=-=.// \/ ) _ |\ / | \|\
\--\\\7///--/ /\/ _ |_)|~\ |~\
/`--`"""`--'\/ / |_)| \ TWO QUESTIONS
/ : \ / |\ |_)
\ '-.,_ `-' |~\ 1. WHY DO ALL MALE MAGICIANS HAVE TO WEAR
`-._/__)======_____, DARK EYELINER AND/OR PUT ON NAIL
jgs ((=====)) POLISH AND ACT LIKE FUCKING FAGGOTS
_ |`"""`| _//
`\,_('> |= | (') 2. WHY DO A DISPROPORTIONATE
\~_) |= | ( '-. PERCENTAGE OF PORN STARS HAVE
-'= `-...-` _/-_(_)o SPEECH IMPEDIMENTS
COULD IT BE THEY'RE FAGTARDED

%
# # .,,... __-- - _
#'#`/::''__--o--@..-. _
''--_`\|/'__-- ~ .'-'\.' __--#:'
\_/ ''--__ ~ ~ ;_.-' O_--#.:\|/ #
/ \ .`,''',''--__ __--'.:\|/ # \|/
/ '`.',.',`.,`, '/--_/-\ \|/
\ / .'/-~\.',.`,'.' \ / \_--
/ \ ~.'-`,.\'.-.'; / /\_/ FREE MALKIN
/ .~.-'`.`.'-.\'\, \ _/\ /
`\.\,/'\'.\''\,` / / __ /
` \/./'\~.\.; / / \/ / AsH
`./'`;, / \ / \
%
_._
_/,__\, IF WE COULD HARNESS THE
__/ _/o'o POWER OF JACK MCCOY'S
/ '-.___'/ __ CLOSING ARGUMENTS IT
/__ /\ )__/_))\ WOULD GIVE HUMANITY
/_/, __,____ // '-.____|--' \\ AN UNLIMITED SOURCE
e,e / // /___/| |/ \/\ \\ OF CLEAN ENERGY
'o /))) : \___\| / , \/ \\
-' \\__,_/| \/ / \ \\
\_\| \/ \ \\
| || < '_ \ \\
| || / ,| / / \\
| || | / | /\ \\
| || \_/ | | | \\
| ||_______________,' |__/ \ \\
\|/_______________\___/______\_ \\
\________________________ \__ \\ ___
\________________________ _\_____ \\ _____/
\________________________ \\
~~~~~~~~ b'ger / ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~ ~~~~\\~~~~
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ //
%
,-.
( O )` ~ - . _ . - ~ ` ~ - . _ . - ~ ` ~ -
|`-'| : : : : : : : :
| | : : : : : : : :
`-'` ~ - . _'. - ~ ` ~ - .'_ . - ~ ` ~ -
cww
SO IT TURNS OUT RENT IS ABOUT FAGS

%
.
/ \__ .. _
\.' '._o \_|_) ))
__( __ / / ). THAT WHICH MAKES ME UNCOMFORTABLE
\ _( ,/ /.____.' / SHOULD BE DESTROYED
'' '..-' |
\ _ ( [X] GAY
)v /-'._ )
//// |// [X] DEAF
// \\ //
mrf // \\ ||\\ [X] BLOGGER
--"------"-"--"--
%
..
* * * * * * * * * * $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$ .$$$$.
* * * * * * * * * * $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$. .$$$$$
* * * * * * * * * * ::::::::::::::::::::::::::. .::::::::'
* * * * * * * * * * $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$ $$$$$$$$F
* * * * * * * * * * $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$d$$$$$$$"
::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::;
$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$
$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$
:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::;
^$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$"
^$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$
":::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::"
""$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$P
$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$L
;; ;::::::::::::::::;; ;;:::.
$$$$$$" "" $$$$$; DS
^$$" $$$$
""
HAPPY BIRTHDAY AMERICA !!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YOU SEXY BITCH YOU
P.S. FUCK ALASKA AND HAWAII THEY'RE NOT REAL STATES

%
1+1=2 /\
\ c") LOOK AT ME I'VE PROVEN FERMAT'S LAST THEOREM !!!!
;-/\> YET I CAN'T FUCKING MANAGE SIMPLE ALGEBRA
||
kOs
%
_.--._
,' `.
/ __) __` \
( (`-`(-') ) OKAY I'D FUCK THE NEW JENNY CRAIG VERSION
/) \ _ / ( OF KIRSTIE ALLEY
/' )-._.' . \ ___
( ,--., `.)___(___)
)( /-.,--'\ _ \X/`
'/ .'/ \ ( Uu")\ LET'S SUM UP:
/ / \ `/,-' )
( ^ , ,^ )`._.' YOUNG: YES
( `. Y .' )
\ `. )\.' / ) VULCAN: YES
)`._.'=='._.' (
/ ) CHEERS: YES
( ."-.
/(` -) / \ PREGNANT: NO
( \`-.__ -'_." `
| \`-.__.--"v" | UNEMPLOYED: NO
`.' \ |, ,
/ `._/ : FAT: NO
/ | '
/ /| / COMEBACK: NO
/ / | /
COMMERCIALS: NO
JENNY CRAIG: YES

Ojo/VK/FS/ejm
%
/i
//, THE ONLY REASON I STUCK THE GLO-STICK(TM)
///i UP YOUR ASS IS BECAUSE I WANTED
,/ ).'i TO SEE WHERE I WAS GOING
| )-i
| )i
' )i
/ |-
_.-./-. /z_
`-. >._\ _ );i.
/ `-'/`k-'ù)-'`
/ )-
,.----' ) '
/ )1`
///v`-v\v [DISCLAIMER: THE ACCOMPANYING IMAGE TITLED
/v BP "GRYPHON IN FLIGHT" IS NOT INTENDED IN ANY WAY,
SHAPE, OR FORM TO IMPLY THAT GRYPHONS ARE MORE
PRONE TO GLO-STICK(TM) ASS RAPING THAN WYVERNS,
DRAGONS, OR OTHER SUCH RIFF RAFF]
%
.------.
:|||"""`.`.
:||| 7.`.
.===+===+===+===+===||`----L7'-`7`---.._
[] || == | """-.
[]...._____.........||........../ _____ ____|
c\____/,---.\_ ||_________/ /,---.\_ _/
hjw /_,-/ ,-. \ `._____|__________||/ ,-. \ \_[
/\ `-' / /\ `-' /
`---' `---'
SIR COULD YOU GET YOUR DICK OUT OF THE BIG TRAK
FORWARD 1 BACKWARD 1 FORWARD 1 BACKWARD 1 FORWARD 1 BACKWARD 1

FORWARD 1 BACKWARD 1 FORWARD 1 BACKWARD 1 FORWARD 1 HIRE CAB
%
;-. ,
\ '. .'/
\ \ .---. .-' / I CAME IN THIRD !!!!!!!!
'. ' `\_.'
|(),() | ,
( __ / .' \
.''.___.'--,/\_,| BUT I CAME FIRST
{ / \ } |
'.\ /_.' /
|'-.-', `; _.'
jgs | | | |`
`""`""`"""`
%
.__=\__ .__==__,
jf' ~~=\, _=/~' `\,
._jZ' `\q, /=~ `\__
j5(/ `\./ V\\,
.Z))' _____ | .____, \)/\
j5(K=~~ ~~~~\=_, | _/=~~~~' `~~+K\\,
.Z)\/ `~=L | _=/~ t\ZL
j5(_/.__/===========\__ ~q |j/ .__============___/\J(N,
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~YKWmmWmmW@~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
SEE I THINK WIKIPEDIA IS GREAT
IT MAKES LEARNING NOT SO MUCH AN EDUCATIONAL EXPERIENCE BUT

MORE OF AN INTELLECTUAL CHALLENGE
SEE YOU HAVE TO FIGURE OUT WHAT PART OF IT IS TRUE (VERY LITTLE)
AND WHAT PART OF IT IS HORSESHIT (THE REST)
IT'S ALMOST LIKE IT MAKES LEARNING A VIDEO GAME !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

%
_
/ ) I'M MAKING A FORK OF AN EXISTING PROGRAMMING LANGUAGE
|||| / / PROJECTS BECAUSE I, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, AM A
||||/ / FUCKWAD DIPSHIT
\__(_/
||// (NOTE: THE KNIFE IS FOR CUTTING MY OWN BALLS OFF
||/ AFTER I FINISH THIS SPEECH)
||
(|| hjw
""
%
___ .-""-. ___ DROP THE HATE, AND PICK UP THE RAPE
\ "-. / \ .-" /
> -=.\/ \/.=- < IT'S DARK SO YOU'LL HAVE TO GROPE AROUND
> -='/\ /\'=- < FOR IT
/__.-' \ / '-.__\
jgs '-..-' IT'S RIGHT NEXT TO THE ASSAULT
%
+------------------+
| ___ |
| _ (,~ | _ | LEAVE IT TO THE GERMANS TO
| (____/ |____) | COME UP WITH A WORD LIKE
| ||||| ||||| | SCHADENFREUDE
| ||||| ||||| |
| |||||\ /||||| |
| |||'//\/\\`||| |
| |' m' /\ `m `| |
| /||\ |
\_ _/
`-----92-KSR-'
%
_____
/ _)))
/ / 6 6 STEP 1: PUT SOME SHINY THINGS IN AN UPTURNED BOX
( ( \ POISED ON A STICK
/ ,' __=
/ _ ) /_ ) STEP 2: ATTACH A STRING TO THE BOTTOM OF THE
( /\__~__|( STICK
/\/__)__) )
( /\ (_ STEP 3: TAKE THE OTHER END OF THE STRING AND LEAD
\| \__'/ \ IT OUT OF SIGHT WHERE YOU CAN HOLD IT
:o / \
/\ _/ ) STEP 4: WHEN A GIRL COMES ALONG AND SAYS "OOH
\/ | SHINY MEANS EXPENSIVE" AND GOES FOR
| | THE BOX THEN PULL THE STRING
| |
) | STEP 5: THE FORCE OF YOU PULLING IT CAUSES THE
/| ) THE STICK TO MOVE AWAY AND THE BOX FALLS
/ |________| DUE TO GRAVITY AND TRAPS SAID GIRL
| / \ |
|/ ____\!_______ NOW YOU CAN PRETTY MUCH BONK HER ON THE
/ )\ HEAD AND DO WHAT YOU WANT WITH HER BECAUSE
/( '-.\_ .. AT THIS POINT SHE'S NOW MERELY AN OBJECT
b'ger /,/ .. . AND IT'S 100% LEGAL AND ETHICAL (STEP 6)
%
. ,
|`. ,'|
\_`-._ _,-'_/
./ \-._`-._ _,-'_,-/ \,
\._/._ `._>`-.__ __,-'<_,' _,\_,/
/_ \_.`-._\_-._ `--__ __--' _,-_/_,-',_/ _\
/._`\_./ _`_./`.-._ `-. ,-' _,-,'\,_'_ \,_/'_,\
\._`/ _/ _`_./ _/`\_ `. ,' _/'\_ \,_'_ \_ \'_,/
/._`/ _/ _`_./` _/ `\_ `\_ _/' _/' \_ '\,_'_ \_ \'_,\
\._`/ _/ _`_./` __/ >. `-.,-' ,< \__ '\,_'_ \_ \'_,/
/_`/._/._`_./` __.`.-\_.-`'-._/-,',__ '\,_'_,\_,\'_\
`\._`_./`\._/_/' _ `\_\_,/'\,_'_,/'
/_\
\./ EVERY TIME I FART, AN ANGEL DIES
__/(__ HORRIBLY IN EXCRUCIATING PAIN
/ `--' \
/ _ _ \
\'| |`/ ALIENS PLANTED SOMETHING IN MY
\|____|/ BUTT THAT CAUSES IT TO HAPPEN
\/ -] \/
/ | \
| | | I DON'T PRETEND TO UNDERSTAND THE
| | \ WISDOM OF IT ALL BUT I FIGURE HEY
/ | \ THEY'VE BEEN AROUND FOR LONGER
\__,-`\___/ THAN US SO THEY MUST KNOW WHAT
mic (_) |__) THEY'RE DOING RIGHT ?!?!?!?!?
%
__
[__] COULD WE GET TOGETHER AND FORM A COMMITTEE
| | OF SOME SORT TO FINALLY ONCE AND FOR ALL
| | AGREE ON THE PROPER WAY TO SPELL
| | "HEZBOLLAH" OR "HIZBOLLAH" OR "HIZBALLAH" OR
| | WHATEVER THE FUCK IT IS BECAUSE SERIOUSLY
| | FOLKS THE LACK OF CONSISTENCY IS ANNOYING
,----. /`-. \
( ) /-._| \
|`----'| | |
\ / |`-... |
`. ,' |'` . | |
|| |`,'- | |
,-||-. |`-...| |
jrei ( '' ) | |
`----' `-....-'
%
.;.
| = | I'D LIKE TO JOIN A RELIGION THAT REQUIRES ME
''|'' TO PRAY EVERY TEN SECONDS
|
:F_P: | BECAUSE THAT SOUNDS LIKE A REALLY CONSTRUCTIVE
/|\ USE OF MY AND GOD'S TIME
%
_ __ __ _
| '_ \ / _` | WHEN YOU SAY THAT I SHOULD MIND MY P'S AND Q'S ........
| |_) | (_| |
| .__/ \__, |
|_| |_| YOU'RE TALKING IN GAY CODE RIGHT
%
\\\|||/// HEY KIDS
======= LISTEN UP AND LISTEN GOOD
/ \| O O |
\ / \v_'/ I'LL TRADE YOU A BOTTLE OF
# _| |_ JESUS JUICE FOR A MOUSTACHE
(#) ( ) RIDE AT THE NEVERLAND RANCH
#\//|* *|\\
#\/( * )/ FIVE BUCKS TO GO AROUND THE WORLD
# =====
# (\ /) THIS IS HOW MY CREW ROLLS
# || ||
#---'| |----. SORRY NO GREEK OR GFE
#----' -----'
%
YOU SAID YOU WERE ^..^ /
GOING TO INTRODUCE /_/\_____/
ME TO THE QUEEN AND /\ /\
HER HUSBAND / \ / \
\ oo
\____|\mm I ALSO LIED ABOUT
//_//\ \_\ WHY MY GIF AND JPEG
/K-9/ \/_/ ARE PART OF THE ONLINE
/___/_____\ SEX OFFENDER REGISTRY
-----------
%
+ . _ .-. Q: WHO IS JOHN GALT
3==({)_ . ( \
+ . _ )`\-| * ) \
. /_`' // |\ .-' `-a:f
. B'/`-'M\_| ) / .
. * // ( / .
B' `-' A: BRAD PITT I GUESS
%
_,.......____
_.-' / `-._`-. REOPENING A BUG AND ADDING SCREENSHOTS
,' / / `. `. ONE BY ONE OVER SEVERAL DAYS THAT
,' ___ / _ / __`. `. PROVE THAT THE BUG ...... REALLY WAS
/ / \ / (_) / / / \ \ FIXED BUT I'M STILL INSISTING THAT
: / /) / / __ / / / L L IT'S NOT FOR SOME INEXPLICABLE REASON
| / __,' / / / / / / | |
| / / / / / / / /___ | | LOOK THE SCREENSHOT OF THE OLD
: /_/ / /_/ / /_____/ F F VERSION SHOWS IT DOESN'T WORK BUT THE
\ / / / / SCREENSHOT OF THE NEW VERSION YOU
`. / / ,' ,' SAID YOU FIXED DOES NOT SHOW THE PROBLEM
`./ / _,'_,' SO I'M REOPENING THIS BUG BECAUSE BY
cjr `-.__/______,.;:.-' SOME THOUGHT PROCESS I OBVIOUSLY CANNOT
EXPRESS IN WORDS I THINK THERE'S STILL A PROBLEM
PROBABLY BECAUSE LIKE ALL PEOPLE IN QUALITY ASSURANCE I'M RETARDED

%
.-----. _.----"""""""----._
_.---//-"""-\\---._ .------.___ ( )
( (/ `-' ) ( ___|-|`"""---..___..---""|
_|`"--._________.--"'|_ `---'""" | |
(_| |_) | |
`--) (--' ________ | |
| | _.--""""" """"----._ |
| | (_ _)--.----------------.
| | \`""---...________...----'/__/___ ||
`-.__ __.-' \___ __/ ""-----"""""""-----`'
VK `""-----""' ""`-----------'""
I WISH I HAD RAMEN, AND THE RAMEN WOULD GET ME DRUNK

%
___,,
(()))))
()) | I LIKE WRITING IT "LESBIAN" INSTEAD OF
())c 6_6 "LEBANESE" BECAUSE THAT WAY IT MAKES
)(;\___/) CURRENT EVENTS MORE INTERESTING
.' \,/:\,/`.
/ : \
| Y : Y |
|__ | : | | ___
/_ \/-=:;,_ | | /.-.\
(/ )/-..___/-.|__j__\\ Y
_/ /== === =///\== === \ _\_
/ `Y== === === === === ==Y \
( // )-------------------( \\ )
\__/hjw/wba \___/
%
.----------------.
| _ _ MMMMM |
| ( " ) | o o | | HERE I THOUGHT IT WAS TOO HOT TO JERK OFF
| `.' \ - / |
| |/ ---`W'--. |
| |\ | .-') |
| | .-' ) | BUT IT TURNS OUT I WAS WRONG
| .-' ) |
| .-' .-' |
| ( .-' |
| ( .-' | |
| (.-' | \| |
| '--.M.--- /| |
| / - \ .^. |
| | o o | ( . ) | VK
| WWWWW " " |
`----------------'
%
_,--', _._.--._____
.--.--';_'-.', ";_ _.,-'
.'--'. _.' {`'-;_ .-.>.' WHY DON'T WE GROUND JACK BAUER INTO
'-:_ ) / `' '=. A FINE POWDER AND THEN WEAPONIZE IT
) > {_/, /~) BY DRYING IT AND MAKE IT STATICALLY
snd |/ `^ .' CHARGED SO IT EASILY STICKS TO THINGS
AND PEOPLE AND THEN SPRINKLE IT OVER
AFGHANISTAN ALBANIA ALGERIA ANDORRA ANGOLA ANTIGUA AND BARBUDA
ARGENTINA ARMENIA AUSTRALIA AUSTRIA AZERBAIJAN BAHAMAS BAHRAIN
BANGLADESH BARBADOS BELARUS BELGIUM BELIZE BENIN BHUTAN BOLIVIA
BOSNIA AND HERZEGOVINA BOTSWANA BRAZIL BRUNEI BULGARIA BURKINA
FASO BURUNDI CAMBODIA CAMEROON CANADA CAPE VERDE CENTRAL
AFRICAN REPUBLIC CHAD CHILE CHINA COLOMBIA COMOROS CONGO COSTA
RICA COTE D'IVOIRE CROATIA CUBA CYPRUS CZECH REPUBLIC DENMARK
DJIBOUTI DOMINICA DOMINICAN REPUBLIC EAST TIMOR ECUADOR EGYPT
EL SALVADOR EQUATORIAL GUINEA ERITREA ESTONIA ETHIOPIA FIJI
FINLAND FRANCE GABON GAMBIA GEORGIA GERMANY GHANA GREECE
GRENADA GUATEMALA GUINEA GUINEA-BISSAU GUYANA HAITI HONDURAS
HUNGARY ICELAND INDIA INDONESIA IRAN IRAQ IRELAND ISRAEL ITALY
JAMAICA JAPAN JORDAN KAZAKHSTAN KENYA KIRIBATI NORTH KOREA
SOUTH KOREA KUWAIT KYRGYZSTAN LAOS LATVIA LEBANON LESOTHO
LIBERIA LIBYA LIECHTENSTEIN LITHUANIA LUXEMBOURG MACEDONIA
MADAGASCAR MALAWI MALAYSIA MALDIVES MALI MALTA MARSHALL ISLANDS
MAURITANIA MAURITIUS MEXICO FEDERATED STATES OF MICRONESIA
MOLDOVA MONACO MONGOLIA MONTENEGRO MOROCCO MOZAMBIQUE MYANMAR
NAMIBIA NAURU NEPAL NETHERLANDS NEW ZEALAND NICARAGUA NIGER
NIGERIA NORWAY OMAN PAKISTAN PALAU PANAMA PAPUA NEW GUINEA
PARAGUAY PERU PHILIPPINES POLAND PORTUGAL QATAR ROMANIA RUSSIA
RWANDA SAINT KITTS AND NEVIS SAINT LUCIA SAINT VINCENT AND THE
GRENADINES SAMOA SAN MARINO SAO TOME AND PRINCIPE SAUDI ARABIA
SENEGAL SERBIA SEYCHELLES SIERRA LEONE SINGAPORE SLOVAKIA
SLOVENIA SOLOMON ISLANDS SOMALIA SOUTH AFRICA SPAIN SRI LANKA
SUDAN SURINAME SWAZILAND SWEDEN SWITZERLAND SYRIA TAIWAN
TAJIKISTAN TANZANIA THAILAND TOGO TONGA TRINIDAD AND TOBAGO
TUNISIA TURKEY TURKMENISTAN TUVALU UGANDA UKRAINE UNITED ARAB
EMIRATES UNITED KINGDOM URUGUAY UZBEKISTAN VANUATU VATICAN CITY
VENEZUELA VIETNAM WESTERN SAHARA YEMEN ZAMBIA ZIMBABWE
%
.__ .-".
(o\"\ | | WRITTEN ON MY POO ARE THE WORDS "INSPECTED BY #1"
\_\ | |
_.---:_ | WHICH IS KIND OF IRONIC DON'T YOU THINK
("-..-" /
"-.-" /
/ |
"--" AsH
%
::: =, ; AND SO IT CAME TO PASS
;;=;;=== M THAT PLUTO'S TWO NEWLY
,=YVRMBBMMR=, :i= DISCOVERED MOONS WERE
:iVRRMMMMMMBMMM :=; ==;====== NAMED NYX AND FAGGOT
:;;:;=;,... .......,,,,,,,,,:;;==Y=tYMMMMMMMM
;.,:,..... ....,,,,,,,,,,,,,:;;;==YYMRMMMMMM;
....... .,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,::;;;=YtVBMMMMM
;t ... .,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,::;;i=RiRMMMMM
,=.. .,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,:::;;=iYBBMM
.,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,::;;;;tVB
:VMM .,,,,,,,,,,,,:,,,::;;=
,;VBM .,,,,,,,,,,,,,:,:: THAT IAU SURE IS
WT ,,== `,,,,,,, TAKING LIBERTIES LATELY
%
+------+ +------+ +------+ +------+ +------+
|`. |`. |\ |\ | | /| /| .'| .'|
| `+--+---+ | +----+-+ +------+ +-+----+ | +---+--+' |
| | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | |
+---+--+ | +-+----+ | +------+ | +----+-+ | +--+---+
`. | `. | \| \| | | |/ |/ | .' | .'
`+------+ +------+ +------+ +------+ +------+'
.+------+ +------+ +------+ +------+ +------+.

.' | .'| /| /| | | |\ |\ |`. | `.
+---+--+' | +-+----+ | +------+ | +----+-+ | `+--+---+
| | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | |
| ,+--+---+ | +----+-+ +------+ +-+----+ | +---+--+ |
|.' | .' |/ |/ | | \| \| `. | `. |
+------+' +------+ +------+ +------+ `+------+ RK
MEMES OF THE MOMENT SHOULD BE CALLED MEMENTS
OR AT LEAST MEMENTOS OR JUST MENTOS
(ALTOIDS)
%
__
)| _________________________.------,_ _
_/o|_____/ ,_____________.__;__,__,__,__,_Y...:::---===````//
|==========\ ; ; ; ; ; \__,__\__,_____ --__,-.\(=~\(=)\((
`-----------|__,__/__,__/__/ )=))~(( '-\=(\&(~\\\
\ ==== \ \\~~\\ \~~)[JW]\\
`| === | ))~~\\ ```"""=,))
| === | |'---')
/ ==== / `====='
------
FOLKS IF IT'S OKAY I'M JUST GOING TO SIT HERE AND SAY
THE WORD "DISPROPORTIONATE" OVER AND OVER AGAIN UNTIL YOUR
EYES, NOSE, EARS, LIPS, NECK, AND ASS BLEED
ACCORDING TO THIS DICTIONARY THE WORD "UNILATERAL" IS BEING

USED INCORRECTLY BY PUNDITS, PRESS, AND POLITICIANS ALIKE
CURIOUSLY I'M ALSO A FAGGOT FOR MAKING AN ARGUMENT BY

DEFINITION ?!?!?!?
SEMANTIC ARGUMENTS ARE THE BEST ARGUMENTS
BECAUSE THAT WAY WE DON'T HAVE TO DEAL WITH THE REAL ISSUE
%
____...
.-"--"""".__ `.
| ` | DEAR EUROPE
( `._....------.._.:
. ) ( <o> <o> g) CAPRI PANTS ARE NOT FOR MEN
) ) / J
( |. / . ( SIGNED,
$$ (. (_'. , )|` EAT SHIT
|| |\`-....--'/ ' \
/||. \\ | | | / / \.
//||(\ \`-===-' ' \o.
.//7' |) `. -- / ( OObaaaad888b.
(<<. / | .a888b`.__.'d\ OO888888888888a.
\ Y' | .8888888aaaa88POOOOOO888888888888888.
\ \ | .888888888888888888888888888888888888b
| | .d88888P88888888888888888888888b8888888.
b.--d .d88888P8888888888888888a:f888888|888888b
88888b 888888|8888888888888888888888888\8888888
%
_
.-;;;. I ALWAYS LOOK TO FAMOUS ENTERTAINERS FOR THEIR
.;;;;;;;;. INSIGHTS INTO THE HUMAN EXPERIENCE BECAUSE I
.;;;;;;;;;;;;. FIGURE FAME AND WEALTH AND SEX WITH SUPERMODELS
.;;;;;;;;;;;-'_\ AND WALL-TO-WALL SYCOPHANTS AND TABLOIDS
.;;;;;;;-'_,-' ` HAVE REALLY GROUNDED THEM
.;;;-'_,-'___ __)
|__,-'---'<O>=<O>)
(( \:: `- \-/
\- ) ' .__\
\ / ___/
/`' ( '---)
_/ \ \ `\ `-;
\ \ ` . --'
\ \ ` /
\ / |\ bni
%
,:
,' |
/ :
--' /
\/ />/
/ <//_\
__/ /
)'-. /
./ :\
/.' '
'/'
+
'
`.
.-"- HANDS UP !!!!
( |
. .-' '. WHO FINDS GANG BANG PORN HOT
( (. )8:
.' / (_ )
_. :(. )8P `
. ( `-' ( `. .
. : ( .a8a)
/_`( "a à. )"'
( (/ . ' )=='
( ( ) .8" +
(`'8a.( _( (
..-. `8P ) ` ) +
-' ( -ab: )
' _ ` (8P"Ya
_( ( )b -`. ) +
( 8) ( _.aP" _a \( \ *
+ )/ (8P (88 ) )
(a:f " `" `
NOTE: NO ONE ON THE WHOLE OF PLANET EARTH HAS THEIR HANDS

UP SO STOP MAKING THAT SHIT PLEASE THANKS PEACE OUT
%
.
\ : /
' _ '
-= ( (_) ) =-
. .
/ : \
.-. ' EVERY ONCE IN A WHILE I HAVE TO REMIND MYSELF
|.| THAT YEP, I REALLY HATE STROGANOFF
/)|`|(\
(.(|'|)`)
~~~~`\`'./'~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
jgs |.| ~~
|`| ~~
,|'|. (_) ~~
"'" \"\
~~ ^~^
%
(
) (
___...(-------)-....___
.-"" ) ( ""-.
.-'``'|-._ ) _.-|
/ .--.| `""---...........---""` | I DON'T GET IT
/ / | |
| | | | SHOULD I DRINK MY OWN
\ \ | | URINE OR HOARD IT
`\ `\ | |
`\ `| |
_/ /; ;
(__/ \ /
_..---""` \ /`""---.._
.-' \ / '-.
: `-.__ __.-' :
: ) ""---...---"" ( :
'._ `"--...___...--"` _.'
jgs \""--..__ __..--""/
'._ """----.....______.....----""" _.'
`""--..,,_____ _____,,..--""`
`"""----"""`
%
\.
\'. ;.
\ '. ,--''-.~-~-'-,
\,-' ,-. '.~-~-~~, FUCK AARON BURR
,-' (###) \-~'~=-.
_,-' '-' \=~-"~~',
/o \~-""~=-,
\__ \=-,~"-~,
"""===-----. \~=-"~-.
\ \*=~-"
rs \ "=====----
\
\
%
\\\
(oO) I'M QUOTING A WIKIPEDIA ARTICLE TO BACK UP A LEGAL CLAIM
/C \ I'M MAKING ON USENET
/__/\\
\\__//
__> U<__
_\/_ I.E., I'M RETARDED
%
(
) ( ) ( (_) ( ( ) (
(_) (_) (_) (_) |~| (_) (_) (_) (_)
|~| |~| |~| |~| |:| |~| |~| |~| |~|
|:| |:| |:| |:| |:| |:| |:| |:| |:|
|:| |:| |:| |:| |:| |:| |:| |:| |:|
|:| |:| |:| |:| |:| |:| |:| |:| |:|
|:| |:| |:| |:| |:| |:| |:| |:| |:|
|:| |:| |:| |:| |:| |:| |:| |:| |:|
|:| |:| |:| |:| |:| |:| |:| |:| |:|
|:| |:| |:| |:| |:| |:| |:| |:| |:|
|:| |:| |:| |:| <+++> |:| |:| |:| |:|
<+++> <+++> <+++> <+++> }~{ <+++> <+++> <+++> <+++>
}~{ }~{ }~{ }~{ {+} }~{ }~{ }~{ }~{
{+} {+} {+} {+} {+} {+} {+} {+} {+}
{} {} {} {} {+} {} {} {} {}
`{} `{} `{} {} {+} {} {}` {}` {}`
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\/ \/
/\___/\
~~\_/~~
{+}
{+}
__<+++>__
___{}{}\O/{}{}___
__<+++++++++++++++++>__
jgs {}{}{}{}{}{/O\}{}{}{}{}{}
`"""""""""""""""""""""""`
FIVE PALESTINIANS DIED IN GAZA FIGHTING TODAY !!!!
OR AS WE WOULD CALL IT, FIVE MORE POINTS

%
\\\///
$..)/ I PUSH RHYMES LIKE WEIGHT (NO OFFENSE)
( _> )
_/'--/_
/^ _ _ `\
.' / \ )
| \' '//
,, < < | | \ ,,
||, `. \\ . /, \ ,||
=|||===(((==========)))===|||=
||^ /`:----/\ `||
`` ( \ / \ ``
| /`^\ |
| | | |
| / \ |
/ `| |^ \
| / \ |
| | | |
/ \ | \
gnv .oooO LOoo
%
,=,
__ __ ' ))
./////||\\\. .-'~ `-. IF YOU EVER GET THE CHANCE
((//'' ''\$) // \\ TO GO TO BRANSON,
G/ @ o @ \? (( e , e ))
\ .__. / ,_//\ ._, /\\_) PASS IT UP
`-.__.-' `-' `.__.' `-'
_.-' /\ '-. .--<_ _;.-.
/ _/ \_ `\/ |O \
/ \| |/ / | \
/ ' o\ / '/ ; | > )
mb /|._o/__\.__|\___)_.--.__/_./mic
%
THIS IS THE ________
| | | |
STRANGEST GODDAMN | | | |
| |||| |
BONG I'VE EVER | |||| | <----- STOPPER
| |||| |
HAD SEX WITH | |||| |
|__||||__|
OH WELL ||
/ \
WHEN IN ROME | | <------- ADAPTOR
|____|
%
00 HERE IN NATURE WE SEE A GAY FROG
(--)
( || ) YOU CAN TELL BECAUSE HE'S DRAWN LIKE SHIT
^^~~^^
%
______
(__ __)
||
/__\ PIXAR PRESENTS !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
| |
| | THE POLYGONS
| |
| |
| |
| |
| |
| |
| |
`--' mbfh
%
___ _...------..._
.'` ```""--...___...-"` `'-.
/ -..__ `\
Y_/ / / `/`;-..__ __...-;")`|`"/-._ Y
,' "` "` | / `|"("`( ( | | `" (_/ _) |)
;'-.._..-.._ " `-` "` `" (,' ;
`"-.. ``"-==...._____ __.....--''` /\
_..-' ``````````````` _.'\_)
,:--""``"--'";-=.,__ _ _ __,.-: \
/ \ \ | |``/"/": ;-q-q-=y=q==y-y-;";"\_|` \ \ \_ sk)
"` :_; (_/ `-' \_) | | (_/ `-' "`
`"`
YOU KNOW WHAT'S FUNNY ?!?!?!?!?!?? ARABS
MUSLIMS IN GENERAL BUT ARABS ESPECIALLY
IF 9/11 IS A JOKE DOES THAT MEAN THAT ARABS DRINK PEE IN SHOT GLASSES
%
__
.' `'. MY IDEA OF INTELLECTUALISM IS DISAGREEING WITH
/ _ | ABSOLUTELY EVERYTHING ANY AUTHORITY FIGURE SAYS
#_/.\==/.\ TO ME REGARDLESS OF ITS OWN MERITS OR MY ANALYSIS
(, \_/ \\_/
| -' | SOMEHOW I'M HAVING DIFFICULTY REALIZING THAT THIS
\ '= / CARRIES PRECISELY THE SAME AMOUNT OF USEFUL
/`-.__.' INFORMATIONAL CONTENT AS AGREEING WITH EVERYTHING
.-'`-.___|__ ANY AUTHORITY FIGURE SAYS TO ME REGARDLESS OF ITS
jgs / \ `. OWN MERITS OR MY ANALYSIS
NAMELY: FUCKING NONE AT ALL

%
********* ***** **
*************************.* AND I SAID PLEASE BUT THEY
****** *********** ** *******o SAID NO THE AMBER ALERT IS
******* ********* **** ****`- TO LOCATE MISSING CHILDREN NOT
******* ********* ***** FOR HELPING YOU FIND VICTIMS
****** ********** **** SO I SAYS (I SAYS) "I DON'T WANT TO
## ***** ***** ## **** MOLEST THEM I WANT TO EAT THEM"
### ***** ### **** AND THEY SEEMED COOL WITH THAT SO THAT'S
#,,, ***,,, ##,,, **,,, WHAT THIS MORNING'S THING WAS ALL ABOUT
%
____________ ____/--\____ WHAT IF I'M ONE OF THE 4400
\______ ___) ( _ ____) AND MY POWER IS TO DITCH WORK
__| |____/ / `--' TO BEAT OFF AND EAT PANCAKES
) `|=(- INSTEAD OF WHATEVER IT IS THAT
\------------' I DO
%
.,,,. ... .,,,.
((o o)) (`@ @`) ((6 6))
___\ - /___ ___\ o /___ ___\ v /___
($_ & _$) ($_ % _$) ($_ & _$)
| % | | & | | % |
| & | | % | | & |
/ % \ / & \ / % \
_/ / \ \_ _/ / \ \_ _/ / \ \_
($__/ \__$) ($__/ \__$) ($__/ \__$) ldb
I HOPE YOU REALIZE THIS IS HURTING YOU MORE

THAN IT HURTS ME (HONESTY AT LAST)
%
,
__ _.-"` `'-. I LIKE TO FART BECAUSE NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS
/||\'._ __{}_( THE FASCISTS THAT OPERATE THIS POLICE STATE
|||| |'--.__\ WE CURRENTLY LIVE IN CAN'T TAKE THAT AWAY FROM ME
| L.( ^_\^
\ .-' | _ |
| | )\___/
| \-'`:._] FARTING IS THE ONLY THING I CAN DO THAT MAKES
jgs \__/; '-. ME FEEL REAL AND IN CONTROL OF MY OWN DESTINY
%
_
DO YOU `_)) __, _.-"""--.
__ .' Y`_ /;' ,;;-'`
/ \\-.,_ |e ( // ,'`( ,
| || _ '-/_ .-'| `.;;< )\
\_//_/ \/|-\_/ ( | ;',,/ _.-""""""-' /
\`\ \.-/ `\/ .;;/ STILL .' ,_.'`'.
\ \ \/ / | ';;| .' _..-. `\ '.
\ \ ` / |`\`;.`\ / .' `\ |. \
'-\_.' ; /| ';| _ / ' / .--. )/ \ ;
/ , / (_/ ;.' / './ .--, / _ `\ ; ;
| ,;' \ (_( \(\ \ /` _ \ \_( ) | | |
| | | Y /` )/ / / | |
\ (_ | ; | .' / | |
/( _) ,.-' / , ; / /` ; ;
\ /`| \`._ _.' , / ; | ; ;
'---; `"-; '----' , / | \ / /
\ , .' \ '----'` / OLD FRIEND
'. , , .' '. .'
jgs '-.__ __.-' `""""""`
`""""`
%
_ ___ _.--.
\`.|\..----...-'` `-._.-'_.-'`
/ ' ` , __.--'
)/' _/ \ `-_, /
`-'" `"\_ ,_.-;_.-\_ ', fsc/as
_.-'_./ {_.' ; /
{_.-``-' {_/
WHAT DOES IT MEAN WHEN YOU COME HOME FROM WORK AND THERE'S A PENTAGRAM
DRAWN IN SOMEONE'S BLOOD ON YOUR LIVING ROOM FLOOR AND THERE ARE
LIT CANDLES ALL AROUND
GOOD KITTY OR BAD KITTY ?!?!?!

%
._ __.
/ \"-. ,-",'/
( \ ,"--.__.--".,' /
=---Y(_i.-' |-.i_)---=
f , "..'/\\v/|/|/\ , l
l// ,'|/ V / /|| \\j LOOK AT ME I'M AN ANIME GIRL !!!!!!!!
"--; / db db|/---"
| \ YY , YY//
'.\>_ (_),"' __
.-" "-.-." I," `.
\.-""-. ( , ) ( \ |
( l `"' -'-._j
__,---_ '._." . . \
(__.--_-'. , : ' \ '-.
,' .' / | \ \ \ "-
"--.._____t____.--'-""'
/ / `. ". I'M GOING TO JOIN THE MIRITALLY
/ ": \' '.
.' ( \ :
| l j "-.
l_;_;I l____;_I
cgmm
%
__
/ \--..____
\ \ \-----,,,..
\ \ \ \--,,..
\ \ \ \ ,'
\ \ \ \ ``..
\ \ \ \-''
\ \ \__,,--'''
\ \ \.
\ \ ,/ WELL I GUESS THE BOTTOM LINE HERE IS THAT
\ \__..- THE MOST IMPORTANT THING TO COME OUT OF
\ \ THIS PAST ELECTION IS THAT NOW WE WON'T
\ \ HAVE A DEPARTMENT OF FUCKING WELLNESS
\ \ :F_P:
\ \
\ \
\ \
\ \
\ \
\ \
%
/|\ [] |"""""""""""--__ /| |\ COULD SOMEONE POLITELY
/ | \ || |____________--"" ( |__| ) POINT OUT TO THOSE
| ( ) | || | | \ / MYTHBUSTERS GUYS THAT
| .-. | || | | |12| THEY KEEP CONFUSING
]( 0 )[ || | | | | MASS, WEIGHT, FORCE,
/ `-' \ || | | | | PRESSURE, MOMENTUM,
/ /' `\ \ || | | | | KINETIC ENERGY, AND
| | | | |%%| | | | | CREAMY HOLLANDAISE
| | | | ,'`, | | | | SAUCE
| | | | |||| | | |14|
| | | | |||| | | / __ \ A DELICIOUS SAUCE
pb \ \ / / |||| | | ( | | ) THAT DOESN'T BUST
`-' `-' `--' `-' \| |/ ANY MYTHS AT ALL
%
emmmmmm~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~\ I MET A GIRL TODAY !!!!!!!
""""""|_____ )
"""""""""--------""" SO
Elijah
UH
LIKE
WHAT'S THE BEST WAY TO CLEAN OUT BLOODSTAINS

%
_________________________________________________________
||-------------------------------------------------------||
||.--. .-._ .----. ||
|||==|____| |H|___ .---.___|""""|_____.--.___ ||
||| |====| | |xxx|_ |+++|=-=|_ _|-=+=-|==|---|||
|||==| | | | | \ | | |_\/_|Black| | ^ |||
||| | | | | |\ \ .--. | |=-=|_/\_|-=+=-| | ^ |||
||| | | | | |_\ \_( oo )| | | |Magus| | ^ |||
|||==|====| |H|xxx| \ \ |''| |+++|=-=|""""|-=+=-|==|---|||
||`--^----'-^-^---' `-' "" '---^---^----^-----^--^---^||
||-------------------------------------------------------||
||-------------------------------------------------------||
|| ___ .-.__.-----. .---.||
|| |===| .---. __ .---| |XX|<(*)>|_|^^^|||
|| , /(| |_|III|__|''|__|:x:|=| | |=| Q |||
|| _a'{ / (|===|+| |++| |==| | | |Illum| | R |||
|| '/\\/ _(|===|-| | |''| |:x:|=| |inati| | Y |||
||_____ -\{___(| |-| | | | | | | | | | Z |||
|| _(____)|===|+|[I]|DK|''|==|:x:|=|XX|<(*)>|=|^^^|||
|| `---^-^---^--^--'--^---^-^--^-----^-^---^||
||-------------------------------------------------------||
Qryz ||_______________________________________________________||
HERE'S MY IMPRESSION OF ALL SOCIAL NETWORKS LIKE

FRIENDSTER AND ORKUT:
I'M INTERESTING FOR TEN SECONDS, THEN BORING, THEN SLOW

AND UNRESPONSIVE AS I CANNOT SCALE TO THE LOAD, AND
FINALLY FLOODED WITH BRAZILIANS
P.S. BRAZIL NUTS TASTE LIKE WET DIRT

%
___
.-" "-. BEHOLD: THE HUMBLE DONUT
.' . ; `.
/ : . ' : \
| ` .-. . ' |
| : ( ) ; ` |
| : `-' : |
\ .` ; : /
hjw `. . ' .'
`-.___.-' THE MOST ADVANCED COPKILLER ON THE MARKET
%
.__ _..._
/,-./'.--. ``\.
/|/.--./`.o/ /`;\\ I AM DRUNK, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN
|||\ _ `-'_` o|/||
||\\`.`.__`Y8P_,\|| AND LDAPS
\\|| `"\"""/---'||
\\| ,-' `.||//
\(-'_ `.
,-' [_] .-. \
; `\| ||-'/ ` \
\ /`""-.`\ | ; |
`.-|\_/ | ; ' |
\-._ / | | /
|`--'| : ;_\_
/| |/ /\|, )
__..; `----' :`.`|/
/ / | |
; .' `\' ;
\/ : _ :
: / / :
: _.'`.__.' | fsc
\ _.' \ /
| | / `---.._
| `\ `.____ \
/ | `------'
\__|_,'
%
THIS IS THE CAPTAIN
SET CONDITION 1SQ FOR STRATEGIC

MISSILE LAUNCH
SPIN UP MISSILES ONE THROUGH FIVE

AND TWENTY THROUGH TWENTY-FOUR
THE RELEASE OF NUCLEAR WEAPONS HAS

BEEN AUTHORIZED
|`-:_
,----....____ | `+. THIS IS NOT A DRILL
( ````----....|___ |
\ _ ````----....____
\ _) ```---.._
\ \
)`.\ )`. )`. )`. )`. )`. )`. )`. )`. )`. )`.
-' `-' `-' `-' `-' `-' `-' `-' `-' `-' `-' ` -shimrod
%
|`._.-----._.'| SURPRISE !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
|' .-. .-. '| /)
| = , = | (( I TOOK A SHIT ON YOUR CHEST
\ ._. / )) WHILE YOU WERE SLEEPING
`--.___.--' //
:-@-'-------.'/
| )
|| / | |
l42 || |'------| |
|| | _/ | |
(_|__) (__/|__)
%
___
(___)_ ,\
( '} '(``,
/, \/^\, '/' .\
( \ 6 \ \ '/ \
\ \ __|\ '/ \ ,/ \,
/=\ \/(\'/ //-\,')
_----_( /\ \''\___// ``
/ |( \ |0 /
//| ( |`\ \| \ / SID MEIER'S SPORT SHITTING
'/'| |=/ /) \ /
' \ ) \\/'/ \/
\ / `='( \
| /-___::--\ // \
| /| |||| \
||>| ||>| O
>||| >|||
|||| ||||
|| = || =
= = RS o
%
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`"8bma,. .,amd88"'
`"""88bmm==Normand===Veilleux==mmd88"""'
`""""""""""""""""""""""'
I AM A MOUTH, SAID THE MOUTH

%
___ _...------..._
.'` ```""--...___...-"` `'-.
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Y_/ / / `/`;-..__ __...-;")`|`"/-._ Y
,' "` "` | / `|"("`( ( | | `" (_/ _) |)
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_..-' ``````````````` _.'\_)
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/ \ \ | |``/"/": ;-q-q-=y=q==y-y-;";"\_|` \ \ \_)
"` :_; (_/ `-' \_) | | (_/ `-' "`
sk `"`
HMMM LET'S SEE HOW CAN I TAKE BLOGS TO THE NEXT LAME LEVEL
I KNOW !!!!!!!!!!! I'M STARTING A DIAVLOG !!!!!!!!!! (HANGED)
YES I'M TALKING TO YOU, BLEEDING-HEART TOUCHY-FEELY APPEASING

NON-SMILING GOALPOST-SHIFTING CONFUSED PRICK
AND YOU, MR. CONFLICTED WANNABE-CENTRIST ACCOMODATIONIST

HUGE-TONGUED COFFEE-DRINKING DON'T-ARGUE-WITH-THE-TOOL FUCKO
%
______
(______)
) ( YOUR PRINTING A DOCUMENT OUT IN THE FONT CRITTER
,'<\o=`. AND THEN HANDING IT TO ME EXPECTING ME TO BE ABLE
( <_\) ) TO READ IT GRANTS FROM THE MOMENT THE PAGE TOUCHES
`."/| .' MY HAND FULL LEGAL RIGHTS TO PILLAGE YOUR FAMILY
)\\( AND RAPE YOUR TOWN
/____\
ejm OR SOMETHING LIKE THAT
%
_
,-(_)
)- '()
\ / () EXCUSE ME BUT I'D LIKE THE DEGREE ALL-IN CHECK MARK PLZ
_.'\()
(( (_)`
\ \\
| \\
___]=((---
( |_/ )_|
\ /_|
\| /
_/)\ )
___| \|
__| /) jg
%
.-._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
.-''-.__.-'00 '-' ' ' ' ' ' ' ' '-. CRIKEY I GUESS I CAN'T
'.___ ' . .--_'-' '-' '-' _'-' '._ DANGLE MY INFANT SON IN
V: V 'vv-' '_ '. .' _..' '.'. FRONT OF THESE THINGS
'=.____.=_.--' :_.__.__:_ '. : : ANYMORE
(((____.-' '-. / : :
snd (((-'\ .' /
_____..' .'
'-._____.-'
%
^
|
+ I DON'T TRUST FRENCH PEOPLE
| FARTHER THAN I CAN SHIT THEM OUT
|
|
|
|
A
=== ________
/EEE\ |______|
//EEE\\ |*( )*| ejm 97
___//_____\\_____________|O| |O|_______
%
.__ _..._
/,-./'.--. ``\.
/|/.--./`.o/ /`;\\ YOU KNOW WHAT HAPPENS IF YOU PUT ME IN
|||\ _ `-'_` o|/|| THE SAME ROOM WITH BOOZE
||\\`.`.__`Y8P_,\||
\\|| `"\"""/---'|| THAT'S RIGHT
\\| ,-' `.||//
\(-'_ `. THE BOOZE DISAPPEARS
,-' [_] .-. \
; `\| ||-'/ ` \ THEN AFTER AN HOUR OR SO IT REAPPEARS
\ /`""-.`\ | ; | (IT BECOMES TANGIER)
`.-|\_/ | ; ' |
\-._ / | | / I GUESS YOU COULD SAY I'M A CATALYST
|`--'| : ;_\_ FOR CONVERTING ALCOHOL INTO URINE
/| |/ /\|, )
__..; `----' :`.`|/
/ / | |
; .' `\' ;
\/ : _ :
: / / :
: _.'`.__.' | fsc
\ _.' \ /
| | / `---.._
| `\ `.____ \
/ | `------'
\__|_,'
%
__________ __,___/ ",",
___.--" "\'. ____/ l \ ",'-,
------f" // \\\ \ (l\ \ \ \ \",
| ||| / u | \ \ \
| ||| _ ) / | | \
----L_-XXX-. .|' / U < | | |
"\ -<_____/// \ 6 ) | | |
\___) -" '. -.<" / / |
|'.___ | _._." /
| ./ _."." _."
/ |"----" _."
jjs \
FOLKS I'M AN AMERICAN BUT TRY MY DAMNDEST TO USE

THE WORDS "WHINGE" AND "CRUFT" WHENEVER POSSIBLE !!!!
YOU SEE USING THEM GIVES ME SPECIAL POWERS
LIKE MAKING PEOPLE WANT TO PUNCH ME IN THE THROAT

%
_,--. IH##HI
_-' \ IH##HI
.-' \_ IH##HI
/ |\ IH##HI
I HAVE NEVER TOUCHED / __.-'--/ \IH##HI
A GIRL WITHOUT / / | \H##HI
PAYING FOR IT / / _____ \##HI
AND NEVER WILL / / / `\ |##HI
DUE TO MY NECKBEARD \ | / \ |##HI
\ \| __ \ |##HI
\ //o \ _ | /##HI\
|\___. \__/ /o\/ /H##HI \
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| \ `-/ \ IH##HI'
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/ | \ _' IH##HI
| | | -' IH##HI
| | .-' IH##HI
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| | | `-. IH##HI
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| \ \ / | |
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| | \ IH##HI
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| | \ IH##HI
| | \ IH##HI
| | \ IH##HI
%
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-- * --
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%
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\ o __..--''____....----""
\__..--''\
| \
+----------------------------------+
OS +----------------------------------+
WHY IS RICHARD CLARKE OBSESSING ABOUT A STAPLER ?!?!?!?
I ALWAYS KNEW THAT GUY WAS A USELESS SHITBAG

%
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____ . ___ ____ _ _ ```` ` tQn
| | ' |__] | | \_/
|__| |__] |__| | TRAN Q. NGUYEN
WITH A FOREWORD BY PAUL REUBENS
%
_--_
/ \
( ** )
\ /
| | ........_ ____,,,..---
| | |:::::::::"::?????::::=::::::::::|
| | ,|:::::::::":::::::::::=::::::::::|
| | |:::::::::":::::::::::=:::::::::::|?
| |'^^*|;;;;;;;;_";:::::::::;=------;;;;;/
| | ```-----'''
| |
| |
| | WHAT DO NADINE JANSEN, BETTIE BALLHAUS, AND QUEENY LOVE
| | HAVE IN COMMON
| |
| |
| |
| |
| |
| |
| |
| |
| |
| |
| | THAT'S RIGHT
| |
| | WHEN THEY START TALKING THEIR GERMANY WORDS YOUR BONER
| | MAGICALLY EVAPORATES NEVER TO RETURN
| |
\\| |//
??????????????????~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
%
___ ____
|___| (____)
| | _) (_ THE BEST PART ABOUT DRINKING IS THAT THE ONLY
_/ \_/~~~~~~\ CASUALTY IS MY LIVER AND IT NEVER LIKED ME ANYWAY
/~~~~~~/ \
(______( PASSPORT )
|SKOTCH\ /
|______ )______(
(_______/________\ ad
%
____ ____
_,',--.`-. _,',--.`-.
<_ ( () ) > ( <_ ( () ) >
`-:__;,-' \ À:__:,-'
\ / \ MAYBE IF I SAY "MEME" OVER AGAIN
(( ) IT WILL SOMEHOW TRANSFORM WHAT I
\-' SAY INTO NON-BULLSHIT
\
\
( ) -Shimrod
`-'"`-----'
%
| ____.......__
|\ .' _.--""''`` ``''--._
| \ .'/ ..--'` .-'`
.._ | \.' / ..-'' .-'
'.`'"-: ' .-'` .-'
'. __...----""""""""""--.. \
- ..-'' ``""-._ \
.' _. \ `"- \
_.-'` | /-. \ `-. \
| / `. \ wkm `.\
|/ `-\ `.
|
FOLKS IF WE HADN'T FOUGHT THE KOREAN WAR

WHO WOULD HAVE BOUGHT STARCRAFT ??!!??!?!?!?!
%
::: =, ;
;;=;;=== M
,=YVRMBBMMR=, :i= BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH
:iVRRMMMMMMBMMM :=; ==;====== PLUTO BLAH BLAH BLAH
=tYMMMMMMBBMMM;=Y ,::;==iMMMMMMMMMM BLAH BLAH PLANET BLAH
:;;:;=;,... .......,,,,,,,,,:;;==Y=tYMMMMMMMM
;.,:,..... ....,,,,,,,,,,,,,:;;;==YYMRMMMMMM;
....... .,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,::;;;=YtVBMMMMM
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.,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,::;;;;tVB
:VMM .,,,,,,,,,,,,:,,,::;;=
,;VBM .,,,,,,,,,,,,,:,:: NOBODY CARES ABOUT PLUTO
WT ,,== `,,,,,,, HE WAS A PUNK ANYWAY
JUST ASK MICKEY
%
,--.,-"";-"-.
.-;-/ / / .- `\ .-.
` ( ' ' ` ; `\/ \ THIS RAPE BLANKET IS THRUSTY AND ROUGH
\ / \ AND WITHOUT LUBE OR MERCY
/ (. C . ) | .-. |
| _ / (` / |
\ /}| | )(\ |
`-> (____.| / |||
/ \=====| | |\|
| |====| \ _/ `
\__/=====| |`
`-'======| \
|=======/ |
|=======| | .--, THE BLANKET PART IS REALLY A MISNOMER
########\ |/ / BUT THE RAPE PART SURE ISN'T
jgs |_|__|| ` `--.
,---;-'--'\ `--.
`---`-------'-.___,___.---'
%
......... OKAY WORKING FROM HOME IS ALL RIGHT I GUESS
.'------.' | BUT CAN'T I JUST DO MY WORK VIRTUALLY THROUGH
| .-----. | | A GAME LIKE WORLD OF WARCRAFT ?!?!?!?!
| | | | |
__| | | | |;. _______________
/ |*`-----'.|.' `; // YOU KNOW SOMEHOW MAKE IT
/ `---------' .;' // SO THAT SLAYING A LEVEL 12
/| / .''''////////;' // DRAGON INVOLVES ME IN THE
|=| .../ ######### /;/ //| REAL WORLD WRITING A PARSER
|/ / / ######### // //|| FOR A BORING FILE FORMAT ?!!?
/ `-----------' // ||
/________________________________//| || YOU KNOW KIND OF LIKE ENDER'S
`--------------------------------' | || GAME EXCEPT NO CHRIST FIGURES
: | || | || |__LL__|| || | || AND MORE PLOT
: | || | || | || `""'
n | || `""' | ||
M | || | || JACKING IN THEN JACKING (CENSORED)
| || MM | ||
`""' `""'
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I" $P"$."$$b. "*$. "**$$$$$*"*$$$$$$$" LOOK NAIL WHATEVER
' $ "$."$$$. ""' "*$$* MAKES YOU HAPPY
$. "."$$$$o mls
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'$$.'$$$**$o AND/OR PIERCED UP
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$$; $$$o. "$. MARKED RETURN TO SENDER
"$: $$ "*o ".
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"$$$$ P' TODAY IS DUNK THE DONG DAY,
$$$;: TOMORROW IS "SORRY WHO ARE YOU AGAIN"
$$P DAY
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'
%
/\/\
/ / / FOLKS WE AT WIKIPEDIA ARE SO ORGANIZED
_/,/ / AND INTERESTED IN MAKING BUSYWORK FOR
_/` (/"/////, EVERYONE THAT WE EVEN HAVE A CATEGORY
( '```--.___ FOR THINGS THAT DON'T CURRENTLY HAVE
/' _), ,- '-. A CATEGORY AND NEED ONE !!!!
/, / \ (\ \,
\_()/ \) )' =_ )) | BECAUSE THAT'S TOTALLY A COST-
| | .// _/) EFFECTIVE AND MEANINGFUL EXPENDITURE
( ( \_ // / OF TIME AND EFFORT RATHER THAN
\ >_,\ (/)= / JUST GIVING IT SOME FUCKING USEFUL
| | | \ #\| / CATEGORY
|=| |=|\ ( (
(=> ( >( >),)
| | |=| \ ( (
/ / / / ) |/ HURFFF DUHHH DROWNING IN IT
\ /_( /_( , || )/.,_
). /\\_(\,/, //- / /_(_( /
,\. b'ger .- '-'-'-,)\/.'))
%
___
/ \
/ O O \ I'M A PARANORMAL INVESTIGATOR !!!!!!!!!!!
| O |
, | | ,
\/( )\/
| ) ( |
|( )|
|| | |'
`| | | TRANSLATION: I FINALLY GOT FIRED FROM WENDY'S
| | | AND GET PRETTY BORED ON SUNDAY NIGHTS
| /-'
VK |_.'
%
_=,_
o_/6 /#\ MY POKER ICON IS THAT PAINTING OF
\__ |##/ DOGS PLAYING POKER !!!!!!!!!!!!
='|--\
/ #'-.
\#|_ _'-. /
|/ \_( # |"
snd C/ ,--___/ GET IT ?!?!?!?!?!?
%
/^\/^\
_|__| O| I'M ONE OF THE IN-CROWD EARLY ADOPTER NERD FAGGOTS
\/ /~ \_/ \ SO I DON'T CALL IT "SNAKES ON A PLANE"
\____|__________/ \ INSTEAD I CALL IT "SOAP"
\_______ \
`\ \ \
BA | | \
/ / \
/ / \\
/ / \ \
/ / \ \
/ / _----_ \ \
/ / _-~ ~-_ | |
( ( _-~ _--_ ~-_ _/ |
\ ~-____-~ _-~ ~-_ ~-_-~ /
~-_ _-~ ~-_ _-~
~--______-~ ~-___-~ WHAT DO YOU MEAN
THIS JOKE IS OLD
NO WAY "SOAP" WILL LIVE FOREVER !!!!11!1!!

%
.:::. I'M GLAD MEL GIBSON (EVEN IF DRUNK)
.:::. /:::::\ FINALLY HAD THE COURAGE TO STAND UP
/:':':\ | _ | AND SAY WHAT WE WERE ALL REALLY THINKING
| _ | | (_` |
| |_) | | ,_) | EVEN THOUGH WE HAVE TO BE POLITICALLY
| | | | | CORRECT AND CONDEMN HIM PUBLICLY WE'RE
jgs | | /`'---'`\ ALL QUIETLY THANKING HIM ON THE INSIDE
/`'---'`\ `'-----'`
`'-----'` BECAUSE LET'S FACE IT IN OUR SOCIETY
TODAY SUGAR TITS ARE A REAL PROBLEM
%
_______\\__
(_. _ ._ _/ FOLKS LET'S BE RESPECTFUL OF OTHER
'-' \__. / PEOPLES' RELIGIONS AFTER ALL NO ONE
/ / RELIGION IS BETTER OR WORSE THAN
/ / .--. .--. ANY OTHER (IN SPITE OF CLEAR AND
( ( / '' \/ '' \ " INCONTROVERTIBLE EVIDENCE TO THE CONTRARY)
\ \_.' \ )
|| _ './
|\ \ ___.'\ /
'-./ .' \ |/
\| / )|\
|/ // \\
|\ __// \\__
//\\ /__/ mrf\__|
.--_/ \_--.
/__/ \__\
%
.---.
.--. ___/ \
/ `.-"" `-, ;
; / O O \ /
`. \ /-'
_ J-.__; _.'
(" / `. -=: THE MAIN PROBLEM WITH OUR FOREIGN POLICY IS
`: `, -=| THAT BUSH IS TOO RELIANT ON THE ZERG RUSH
| F\ i, ; -|
| | | || \_J
fsc mmm! `mmM Mmm'
%
_,,,_
.' `'. IS IT JUST ME OR IS A WOMAN WITH A
/ ____ \ BROOKLYN ACCENT THE BIGGEST TURNOFF
| .'_ _\/ IMAGINABLE
/ ) a a|
/ ( > | IT'S WORSE EVEN THAN A SOUTHERN ACCENT
( ) ._ / BECAUSE AT LEAST IF IT'S A SOUTHERN
) _/-.__.'`\ ACCENT YOU KNOW YOU CAN TRICK HER INTO
( .-'`-. \__ ) SOMETHING
`/ `-./ `.
| \ \ \ IF IT'S A BROOKLYN ACCENT YOU
jgs | \ \ \ \ KNOW YOU WOULDN'T WANT TO
|\ `. / / \
%
______
,-' ; ! `-.
/ : ! : . \
|_ ; __: ; | I'M AN RSS FEED
)| . :)(. ! |
|" (##) _ |
| : ;`' (_) (
| : : . |
)_ ! , ; ; |
|| . . : : |
|" . | : . | PULL ME
|mt-2_;----.___|
%
.
// OKAY IT'S PAST MIDNIGHT
_.-"""""'//-'""""-._
.', , , , : : ` ` ` `. SO I AM OFFICIALLY A PUMPKIN
/ , , \'-._ : :_.-'/ ` ` \
/ , , :\(_)\ /(_)/ : ` ` \ OR SOME KIND OF MAN-PUMPKIN HYBRID
| , , , \__//\\__/ . . ` ` |
| . .:_ : : '--`: : . _: ; :|
| : : \\_ _' : _: :__// , , |
\ ` ` \ \/ \/\/ \_/ / , , /
\ ` ` \_/\_/\_/\_/\/ , , /
`._ ` . : : : , , _.' I THINK THE PROPER TERM IS MUMPKIN
`-..............-' bni
%
_____
_____ _____ |6 |
|2 | _____ |5 || & & |
| & ||3 | _____ | & & || & & | _____
| || & & ||4 || & || & & ||7 |
| & || || & & || & & ||____9|| & & | _____
|____Z|| & || ||____S| |& & &||8 | _____
|____E|| & & | | & & ||& & &||9 |
|____h| |____L|| & & ||& & &|
_____ |& & &||& & &|
_____ |K WW| |____8||& & &|
_____ |Q ww| | o {)| |____6|
_____ |J ww| | o {(| |o o%%| _____
|10 & || o {)| |o o%%| | |%%%||A _ |
|& & &||o o% | | |%%%| |_%%%>|| ( ) | CRUB FRUSH
|& & &|| | % | |_%%%O| |(_'_)|
|& & &||__%%[| | | |
|___0I| |____V|
%
. .
+ : .
: _ A FEMALE ASTRONAUT *WOULD* THINK THAT
. ! ' (_) SPACE SMELLS LIKE BURNT ALMOND COOKIES
,|.'
- -- ---(-O-`--- -- -
,`|'`.
, ! . AFTER ALL SHE'S JUST PREOCCUPIED WITH
: : " ALL THE COOKING FOR HER HUSBAND SHE'S
. --+-- GOING TO HAVE TO MAKE UP FOR (BEING IN
.: . ! SPACE AWAY FROM THE KITCHEN AND ALL)
O!o
%
z $b$$F
F" 4$$P"
r *$$$".c...
%-4$$$$$$$$" WHY CAN I NEVER REMEMBER
J$*$$$$$$P WHICH ONE IS FRY
^r4$$$$$$" AND WHICH ONE IS LAURIE
*f*$$*"
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%
___ ___ ___ ___ ___
|A | |K | |Q | |J | |10 |
|(`)| |(`)| |(`)| |(`)| |(`)| I'M A FOUR-COLOR DECK
|_\_| |_\_| |_\_| |_\_| |_\_|
___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___
|A | |2 | |3 | |4 | |5 | |6 |
| /\| | /\| | /\| | /\| | /\| | /\|
|_\/| |_\/| |_\/| |_\/| |_\/| |_\/|
___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___
|A | |2 | |3 | |4 | |5 | |6 | |7 |
| ^ | | ^ | | ^ | | ^ | | ^ | | ^ | | ^ |
|(,)| |(,)| |(,)| |(,)| |(,)| |(,)| |(,)| ejm
___ ___ ___ ___
|A | |K | |Q | |J |
| O | | O | | O | | O | NAIL ME RIGHT IN MY GODDAMN CORNHOLE
|O,O| |O,O| |O,O| |O,O|
%
.__=\__ .__==__,
jf' ~~=\, _=/~' `\,
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j5(K=~~ ~~~~\=_, | _/=~~~~' `~~+K\\,
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j5(_/.__/===========\__ ~q |j/ .__============___/\J(N,
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~YKWmmWmmW@~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
ALL I HAVE TO SAY IS BACK IN THE DAY WHILE *I* WAS

A PAGE FOR THE U.S. HOUSE OF REPRESENTATIVES AND MATT
FOLEY MOLESTED *ME* I KEPT MY MOUTH SHUT AND TOOK IT
LIKE A MAN
NOT LIKE THESE DAMN BLABBERMOUTH KIDS THESE DAYS WITH

THEIR COMPLAINING TO AUTHORITY FIGURES
%
_ ,-, _
,--, /: :\/': :`\/: :\ BEHOLD: MY FISTICUFFS
|`; ' `,' `.; `: |
| | | ' | |.
| : | | pb | ||
| :. | : | : | : | \
\__/: :.. : :.. | :.. | )
`---',\___/,\___/ /'
`==._ .. . /'
`-::-' (WITH REAL FISTS (TM))
%
_ _ IT'S MY PREROGATIVE
|o| o , o_,' o_, |o|
|O| <%'. _`'_ === <\_ |O| (I CAN DO WHAT I WANT TO DO)
(0) / | (_)`-' | / | (0)
p----------------------------g (WHICH IS TO BEAT WHITNEY)
PG
%
______________________________________________________________________
|.============[_F_E_D_E_R_A_L___R_E_S_E_R_V_E___N_O_T_E_]=============.|
||%&%&%&%_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ %&%&%&%&||
||%&.-.&/||_||_ | ||\||||_| \ (_ ||\||_(_ /\|_ |\|V||_|)|/ |\ %&.-.&&||
||&// |\ || ||_ \_/| ||||_|_/ ,_)|||||_,_) \/| ||| ||_|\|\_|| &// |\%||
||| | | |% ,-----,-'____'-,-----, %| | | |||
||| | | |&% """""""""" [ .-;"`___ `";-. ] &%| | | |||
||&\===// `).'' .'`_.- `. '.'.(` A 76355942 J \\===/&||
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||&%'-'==================\`------------------`/=================='-'%&||
||%&%&%&%&%&%&%%&%&&&%&%%&)O N E D O L L A R(%&%&%&%&%&%&%%&%&&&%&%%&||
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'""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""`
FOLKS WHY ARE ALL HIPPIE-OWNED BUSINESS ALWAYS DOLLAR STORES ?????
ANSWER: HIPPIES ARE CUNNING CAPITALISTS
NOW LET'S ALL MOVE OUT TO BAKERSFIELD AND START A COMMUNE

%
_.,-*~'^'~*-,._ ( _.,-*~'^'~*-,._
| '*-,._ _.,-*' '-,._
| '*-,.__.,-*' '*-,.__.,-*,
| |
`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'
MY RECIPE FOR ALL THESE MIDDLE EAST PROBLEMS CALLS FOR
10,000 DEGREES FARENHEIT FOR 20 MILLISECONDS AND REPEAT TO TASTE
%
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.@^ YUU[[[/o@^;::---..
oMP ^/o@P^;:::---.. SATURN IS THE GOD OF TIME, BONERS
.dMMM .o@^ ^;::---...
dMMMMMMM@^` `^^^^
YMMMUP^
^^
%
,=,
__ __ ' ))
./////||\\\. .-'~ `-.
((//'' ''\\)) // \\ I'M A PARADIDDLE
G/ @ o @ \? (( e , e ))
\ .__. / ,_//\ ._, /\\_)
`-.__.-' `-' `.__.' `-'
_.-' /\ '-. .--<_ _;.-.
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/ \| |/ / | \
/ ' o\ / '/ ; | > )
mb /|._o/__\.__|\___)_.--.__/_./mic
%
.--d8b,
( '`YP) OKAY BE HONEST I WASN'T THE ONLY ONE WHO WENT ON RAMPAGES
\ f||? / IN THE QUEENS SECTION OF SAN FIERRO
/ j||t \
( || ) I MEAN COME ON IT'S GRAND THEFT AUTO YOU HAVE TO GO ON
`-||-' RAMPAGES
||
|| AND IF YOU HAVE TO KILL INNOCENT PEOPLE, WHAT BETTER PLACE
fL ||
=JJ=
%
. . .
, ` ` ---. ___. .-._
` , , ` -_.
. . , , a.aaaaa.__a8 IF I COULD BE ANY KIND OF BAY
, . , ...--,a8P" "Y888888a
, .a8a'/ ` \_ _ 8| I'D BE MICHAEL BAY
.a88P . \ -' .a8|/
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a ._ _/_ a8a /; _____
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- . . ` _--/ \__/ x \a:f
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\__/ \ ___,/ \_______/ \J,
\__/
%
;
: THE LEVELS OF GAY GO LIKE THIS:
:
: - NOT GAY
:-.
' '. ___ - GAYISH
.. '/ \
\ ' '. :\ - SOMEWHAT GAY
: '.: \
: : : - VERY GAY
\ : :
\ / : - WAY GAY
.''. / :
: '...' : - SUPERGAY
'.__.-' \
'._ : - MEGAGAY <---------------------+
'--.__ : |
':-- '. - GIGAGAY |
.'\' : |
/ . : - TERAGAY |
/ . .' ; |
_..-' L : : - PETAGAY |
:__.--' \ : : |
.'\: / - EXAGAY |
'-': /\ |
[WILU] : : : - ZETTAGAY |
: : : |
: : : - YOTTAGAY |
/ / : |
/ /: : AND YOU ARE HERE -------------------+
'.' : :
''
%
/^\
L L / \ L L
__/|/|_ / . \ _|\|\__
/_| [_[_\ / .-\ /_]_] |_\
/__\ __`-\_____ / . \ _____/-`__ /__\
/___] /=@> _ {> /-. \ <} _ <@=\ [___\
/____/ /` `--/ / . \ \--` `\ \____\
/____/ \____/`-._> / \ <_.-`\____/ \____\
/____/ /__/ /-._ . _.- \ \__\ \____\
/____/ /__/ / . \ \__\ \____\
|____/_ _/__/ / . \ \__\_ _\____|
\__/_ ``_|_/ / -._ . _.-\ \_|_`` _\___/
/__`-`__\ <_ `-; NDT_> /__`-`__\
`-` `-._ ; _.-` `-`
`-._ ; _.-`
`-._.-`
MEN ARE FROM MARS, WOMEN ARE JUST STUPID

%
,'///\\\\`.
(___ ___ \\`.
(_Q)(Q_) \\\\
/ \\\
_.' \\\
/ .\\\ DON'T CALL ME ANYMORE
(##) (##)/) .\\\
.-. \ __// .|\\\ YOU'RE FAT AND MAKING OUT
( \) `.____/XX/ _/ .\ WITH YOU MAKES ME THINK OF
\ \ \XXX/ _/._ .\ JABBA THE HUT WITH HIS BIG
__\ \ `.___/../=\ \ SPACE TONGUE
(___> \ _/../===| .. \
(___> \ _/ ./====| .:\. \ SERIOUSLY YOU'RE FAT DON'T CALL
(___> \ _/ ./=====| .:|\. \
(__>/\. \_/ ./======| .:|>\ .) EVEN ONE RING MAKES YOU FOOD
\. ._/=======| .:|>/ ./
\. _/;=======/ .:|/ ./
\___/ |======| .:/ ./
|======| :( (____ /)
;======| .:\\.---' //
|=======| .:|\\) //
|=======| .:|>\) ||
|=======| .:|> ||
\======/ .:\> |.\
\====/ _____.:|> \.\
/\==/ :\|> \.|
|.:\/ :|> |.|
| :( .:|> | .\
\.:\ .:/> \ .|
| ;| .:/\> |.|
| ;| .:/ \> |:|
|{~| .:| \> / :|
|.;|{~~~}| \_ _/ :/
);| .:| `.___,' x/
/ ;| .:|.. x/
___/ ;| .:|\_.... XX/
_/___ _;| .:\ \XXXXXXXXXX/
/_/ /_/ / _ _:\
// / / \ / \.\
' V V V MEPH.
%
__ SHUT UP YOU'RE CAUSING ME TO THINK
_(__)_ AND WHEN I DO THAT I HAVE TO PEE AND
,-.----/______\----,-. IF I'M GONNA PEE ANYWHERE IT'S GONNA
( O ) (__) (__) ( O ) BE ON YOU SO JUST SHUT YOUR STUPID FUCKING
`-' `--' `-' MONKEY CUNT MOUTH BEFORE YOU BECOME FOOD
%
I AM NOT THE GOOD KIND OF DYKE
A
________ |:|
_/O-MEPH-#\_ |:|
/O#/ \O#\ |:|
|#/ \O| |:|
|O #| |:|
|# O| |:|
|O\ /#| ,---v--. |:|
\#O\,,,, o/#O/ /////A\\\\ |:|
\#O##O##O/ //(((( ))))\ |:|
\ _/ /(((-o- -o-))) |:|
|__| )))) ) ((( __|_|_
|XX| (((( ,---. )))) (<o)
|XX| ))))\`---'(((( 8(_)
| | (((( `---' )))) 8(_))
| '.____\^^^^^))))' ((((^^^^^^/ .' .
\ |XX| \____(((\ )))_____/`. / /
`.__|XX|__ \__\ /__/ `. /x./
\_ XoX XoX __ /X`. /XX/
|_.' '.___.' `._| `./XX/ `. /`X/
|( () )+( () )| `X/ `/ /
\`.__.'+++`.__.'/ `. /
\(____/ \____)/ `.___/
\+++/___\+++/
)++.-=-.++(
/-/-/`-'\-\-\
/-/-/ / \ \-\-\
(-/-/_/ : \_\-\-)
/~.~\ \ : / /~.~\
/.~.~.\ \ / /.~.~.\
/.~.~.~.\ V /.~.~.~.\
/.~.~.~.~.\_/.~.~.~.~.\
/.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.\
/.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.\
(.~.' `--~.~.-' `-.~.~' `~)
/ / `' \ \
/ .' / \ `. \
/ / \ ; \
( { / \ )
| / \ |
| | | |
| | | |
| | | |
|_____|_ _|_____|
())))))/ \(((((()
(#####| |#####)
(=====| |=====)
(#####| |#####)
/#####| |#####\
_,xxX###/|#| |#|\###Xxx._
/#######/ \#\ /#/ \#######\ Xena
%
__________________
__/______/ \______\__
(________( <[]> )________)
\________\ /________/
/\________\__/________/\ IF I DUMP YOU IN THE
(((\ .___ ___, /))) TRI-COUNTY AREA BETWEEN
\\\\ (<@) (@>) //// FRESNO AND BAKERSFIELD
)))\ (__, /((( THE COPS WILL FIGHT OVER
((( ) __________ ( ))) WHO HAS TO BE RESPONSIBLE
)))( \VvVvVvVv/ )((( FOR YOUR BODY AND DURING
((( \ (AAAAAAAA) / ))) THIS PROCESS I CHOMP DOWN
\__________/ ON ANOTHER DELICIOUS
_\_____)<>(_____/_ IN-N-OUT BURGER
/ / \ \
(_.--._) YOU'RE DEAD AND STUFFED
(( )) IN A DRUM HOW DOES THAT
_)) ((_ MAKE ME FEEL??? HUNGRY
%
| /\ /\
( | ) ( (__) ) I DON'T JUST DAYDREAM ABOUT POKING YOUR
\_|_/ \@..@/ EYE OUT WITH THE STAINLESS STEEL PRONG ON
| __\\//__ MY BELT BUCKLE
|\ / \/ \
|\\/ ( . . ) | I ALSO DREAM ABOUT THE ACT AT NIGHT
| \_/| | |
| | |o| AND SOMETIMES I THINK THAT IF I WAS ALLOWED TO
| |=====| | EXPLAIN MYSELF ON NATIONAL TELEVISION, THEY
| ( )_| WOULD TOTALLY UNDERSTAND WHY YOU'RE A ONE-EYED
| | | |() FAGGOT AND WHY I RULE (TICKER TAPE PARADE, ETC.)
| | | |
| | | | SO:
| _| | |_
| (___/ \___) HOLD STILL
%
_.---.._ JAY AND SILENT BOB !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
_ _.-' ''-.
.' '-,_.-' '''. JAY AND SILENT BOB !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
( _ o :
'._ .-' '-._ \ \- ---] JAY AND SILENT BOB !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
'-.___.-') )..-'
MJP (_/ MAYBE IF I KEEP REPEATING IT THAT
FAT FUCK WILL SUDDENLY BECOME FUNNY
%
~"""~
/,/,/,/\\\ __ HEY LOOK AT MY FAT STUPID FACE
/,/,/,/,,\\`\ Y#b. I'M A VAMPIRE
/,/, \\\\D###D. I LIKE TO PROGRAM IN HTML
d#\_/ <O> <O> \_/\####D I'M A SYSTEM ADMINISTRATOR
d##\/, | | /,/####P I'M ALSO A WRITER
d###\, (. .) ,_/####P I COULD STUFF MY MOUTH ALL DAY
d######\ ,v"v. ,#####P LET'S GO GET COFFEE
d########\ \"""/ / ###P" I SURE LIKE ART
d########\_____/ \##P I STUDY LAW ENFORCEMENT
#b T########\ /##b I'VE SEEN THE CROW TEN TIMES
###b__)########`---=/###########b PLEASE DON'T PUNCH ME
############ || /#############b HOLY NUTS I'M A COMPLETE TOOL
#######P" || // .###########H
####P || // T#########H
#### || // T#######H
#### ||// T#####H
#### | / T###H
#### BN |/ T#H
%
__________ __________
|`. ,'| | ()[]|
| `.__.' | | ____ |
| | | ==== |
|__________| |__________| Mike'97
THEY'RE FIGHTING ON THE *WOOKIE PLANET*
THE EMPIRE WAS FINALLY DEFEATED BY *EWOKS*
GREEDO SHOT *FIRST*
WRITING A LETTER TO THE EDITOR INDICATING MY INTENT TO FORCE

LUCAS TO TOSS MY SALAD
%
_,..---..,_
,-"` .'. `"-,
(( '.'.' )) I AM PREJUDICED AGAINST TRANSCENDENTAL NUMBERS
`'-.,_ ' _,.-'`
jgs `\ `"""""` /`
`""-----""`
%
.{{}}}}}}.
{{{{{}}}}}}}. I WOULD TOTALLY DO SHERRY PALMER
{{{{ {{{{{}}}}
}}}}} _ _ {{{{{
}}}} 6 6 }}}}
{{{{C ^ {{{{ WELL YOU KNOW WHEN SHE WAS STILL ALIVE
}}}}}}\ '=' /}}}}}
{{{{{{{;.___.;}}}}}}
{{{{{{{) (}}}}}}' NAH SCRATCH THAT QUALIFICATION
jgs `""'"': :'"'"'` I'D DO HER ANYWAY
`@`
%
_ _
| | | |
-| | | |- WHY DOES IT HAVE TO BE AN AMBER ALERT
_ | |- | |
-| | | | | |- WHY COULDN'T IT BE MAUVE OR FUCHSIA
|.| -| ||/ |
| |- | ___/ TOO BRIGHT ??!?!? TOO HOT ?!?!?! YES ???? NO ????
-|.| | | |
| \_|| |
\____ |
| | |- WHY DON'T WE JUST CALL IT THE BULLSHIT
| | CHILD CUSTODY LIGHT
-| | mga
|_|
%
,o888b,`?88888
,8888 888 ?888 I'M A TAOIST-DISCORDIAN WITH SOME LEANINGS
8888888P' 888 TOWARDS SHAMANISM !!!!!!! OR TO PUT IT ANOTHER WAY
888P' 888
`88 O d888 I'M A COMPLETE DOUCHEBAG
NW `?._ _.o88888
%
-------------------------
~~~~~~~~~~~~__~~~~~~~~~~~ I'D LIKE TO INCULCATE THE
~~~~~~~~~.` `.~~~~~~~~~ WORD INCULCATE INTO YOU
~~~~~~~~.` .=`. \~~~~~~~~
~~~~~~~/ / - /~~~~~~~~
~~~~~~/ | ^ ( \~~~~~~~~
~~~~.^ /\ ._/ )~~~~~~~
~~~/ ( `-` (~~~~~~~~
~~~`-~~-` (_.-'`.~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~/ \~~~~~
~~~~~~| |~~~~~
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~~~~~~| _ad`~~~~~
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~~~~~~~\ | `~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~\ | /~~~~~~~~
~~~~~~~~~~) | :~~~~~~~~~
~~~~~~~~~/ / .~~~~~~~~
~~~~~~~~. ' .~~~~~~~~~
~~~~~~~~| . ,~~~~~~~~~
~~~~~~~~| , .~~~~~~~~~~
~~~~~~~~| . ,~~~~~~~~~~
~~~~~~~~| | :~~~~~~~~~~~
-------------------------
%
+------------------+
| ___ | I'M SHOCKED -- ABSOLUTELY SHOCKED -- THAT YOU'RE
| _ (,~ | _ | ACTUALLY OFFENDED BY ME COMPARING YOU TO THE NAZIS
| (____/ |____) |
| ||||| ||||| |
| ||||| ||||| |
| |||||\ /||||| |
| |||'//\/\\`||| |
| |' m' /\ `m `| | DON'T YOU REALIZE THIS IS A COMMON AND RESPONSIBLE
| /||\ | DEBATING TACTIC
\_ _/
`-----92-KSR-'
%
.:, ______ ,
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WMRZYSYRNMMMMWNBRYi
lWMSZXYSKRNNMMMNBWS+
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lWMXZCZNMMMMMMWNKSR+
iNUZYiSRNMMMMMMNUZR+
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.ftttlZXStY FUCK THE VINGEAN SINGULARITY
jttttttBKti
StttttIWttt
ZtttttYRtt'
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lStttFty
YtttZtt THE EVENT THAT WILL MAKE
VttKtI HISTORY CHANGE IN WAYS
VttNtE WE CAN'T PREDICT HAS ALREADY
AtttWWIR HAPPENED
b'ger kt:ttNRlR
ZttttttBSlRi
AtttttttXKZFti
Vtttttttl I CALL IT THE INTERNET
`tttttti PORN SINGULARITY
%
,....,
,::::::< YOU KNOW WHAT'S BEST ABOUT THAT SHOW EVERYBODY
,::/^\"``. LOVES RAYMOND ?!?!?!? THE SCREAMING HARPIE IN IT
,::/, ` e`. SINCE SHE TAKES MIDDLE AMERICAN MEN'S MINDS OFF
,::; | '. THEIR OWN SCREAMING HARPIES AS THIS FICTIONAL
,::| \___,-. c) ONE ISN'T QUITE AS UGLY OR SCREECHY OR SOMETHING
;::| \ '-' LIKE THAT ON SECOND THOUGHT I'M NOT REALLY SURE
;::| \ WHAT THE APPEAL IS SINCE IT FUCKING SUCKS
;::| _.=`\
`;:|.=` _.=`\
'|_.=` __\
`\_..==`` /
.'.___.-'.
/ \
jgs ('--......--')
/'--......--'\
`"--......--"`
%
___ .-""-. ___
\ "-. / \ .-" /
> -=.\/ \/.=- <
> -='/\ /\'=- <
/__.-' \ / '-.__\
jgs '-..-'
____
.' / '.
/ ( .-'\ I CAN'T BEAT OFF WITH ALL THESE KIDS
|'.__\/__ | IN COSTUMES KNOCKING ON MY DOOR
| /\ '.|
\.-' ) /
jgs '.__/_.'
____
.' /:::.
/ (:::-'\
|:\__\/__ |
|::::/\:::\|
\::' )::/
jgs '.__/::' ................... OR CAN I
%
.--""--.___.._ IF YOU POOP, JESUS DOESN'T LOVE YOU ANYMORE
( <__> ) `-.
|`--..--'| <|
| :| /
| :|--""-./
`.__ __;' o!O BUT IF YOU DON'T POOP ............. ARMAGEDDON
""
%
_"_ %
(< ? MY SAFE WORD IS "NO"
` "
__||___
|\___//_\
(' | ') \\
__|\ , / |/
/: / \ ::
\| ######o /|
######## \)
########
\ : /
\: /
--
%%% BUT I ALWAYS FORGET TO USE IT UNTIL AFTERWARDS
%% WHEN I FALSELY CLAIM YOU RAPED ME
%
/:\
|/|, b'ger
%
.
/ \
_\ /_
. . (,'v`.) . .
\) ( ) ,' `. ( ) (/
\`. / `-' `-' \ ,'/
: ' _______ ' : CHECK ME OUT !!!!! I WAS JUST
| _,-' ,-. `-._ | ELECTED KING OF ALL WIKIPEDIA
|,' ( )__`-'__( ) `.|
(|,-,'-._ _.-`.-.|)
/ /<( o)> <( o)>\ \
: : | | : : EXCEPT NOT AT ALL BECAUSE THERE
| | ; : | | ARE NO FORMAL PROCESSES OF ANY
| | (.-.) | | KIND WITH ANY ACCOUNTABILITY
| | ,' ___ `. | | AT ALL SO WE JUST MAKE SHIT UP
; |)/ ,'---'. \(| :
_,-/ |/\( )/\| \-._
_..--'.-( | `-'''-' | )-.`--.._
`. ;`._________,': ,'
,' `/ \'`.
`------.------' SSt
'
%
ALL ABOUT THE BLOGOSPHERE
(\
\_O
_____\/)_____
~~~~~~~~~~~~`----\----'~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
dt/ejm ~~~~ ~~~~ \ ~~~~~~ ~~~ ~~~~~~
HEY YOU KNOW WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU

LET NERDS MAKE UP TERMS ?!?!?!?!?!?
THAT'S RIGHT, YOU GET SHITTY TERMS

%
.LJL.
J7LJLJL
7LJ LJL
7L|--.---LJL
L7\--'--'7LJ :F_P:
JL\ -- /J7L
.--. JLJL`--' 7L--.
__/ \ /JLJ |
/ \ . \ / . |
\WW'\| |(, | , || |
/\ \ /| `.\ _/_\ / / |
/\ \ / \ \ | `--'./ /
./\ _.' `\ \/ /| |
/ \ / \\ / / | |
/ \ | \ |' | \ |
__/__ _ L___....-------' | `| |
| /|/ | | |
|____| || / | \___
\ \-------------' `-----\
\ _'\
\-' \
\.-' \ I TITLE THIS ONE "F ME BOOTS" BECAUSE
\ .-' | *F ME* I SURE WOULD LIKE TO FINALLY HAVE
`\.-'| SEX WITH A WOMAN SOMETIME IN MY LIFE
\-' \_ BEFORE I DIE AND SINCE ALL THE REAL ONES
\-' /\ KEEP SAYING NO I'M PRETTY SURE AN ASCII
| |\\ WOMAN CAN'T SAY ANYTHING AT ALL SO HERE
| | \/ I AM DRAWING ASCII ART WOMEN AND THEN
/ / \ BEATING OFF TO THEM AND THEN POSTING
\/' ./ THEM FOR EVERYONE TO SEE
\_/ JIZZ STAINS AND ALL
%
..JJ?....
... . ` ...J.. ?4o
`vn3. ` .7! . ,` ``!?Wm, Th,
.O4w, ,!?. . ?Wh..h. FILOVIRIDAE
.6SG. .V? ..Z'.y.` ` JN..4,
+Zn . `jdY`.Y! W, j+.
.ZWh, .J&` jX' J=` `4e ?l;
TZXW+.. ?=!..dqM!.dD. . ?h.?R
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.r j#YTa..W9MM9zqMMKi... ! JL W;
d`,Wo+qQW8gMt.JNNZMNZXAv6.. .z: .dtJ@
?; WN@?HHH7..MMMMNyMNWWMmAv6... ` ..M^.@`
?i..=?I..d8Hj#`dMNkWHw= `?OxvV9XjJJJJ..gB .#!
?TN,.MKDJI?N.J@ ?7Y! `7USAmgQgay9odM;
.h.,B#vTd#`J% `?+. ... J&dMY!.dHevTUa..
U+.?WM9!.f` `...gMY7`..V"` ?4xlTSn....
`T&...v^ ..+VY=! ..VY7` 7T&&+?YX.. .
..Jk7^ ..dYY! ?7uJ+7Tk....
.f=`.JVY!` `?=o+JI7T
..% .@! !??7
.J%.J=
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J\.d!
.`D ,C`
.J\.k.
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J\ dl`
JK .$
J!.k.. FOR HER PLEASURE
V..C
`j`2
`:.!
tQn `:.!
%
_ _.-'`-._ _
;.'________'.;
_________n.[____________].n_________
|""_""_""_""||==||==||==||""_""_""_""]
|"""""""""""||..||..||..||"""""""""""|
|.. .. .. ..||..||..||..||.. .. .. ..|
,,;;,;;;,;;;,;;;,;;;,;;;,;;;,;;,;;;,;;;,;;,,
;;jgs;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;
FOLKS I CAN'T REALLY IMAGINE ANY NEW HISTORY EVER BEING CREATED
SO I HAVE TO ANALYZE EVERY NEW EVENT THAT HAPPENS IN TERMS OF
PAST CRIMES AND MISDEMEANORS
THAT IS WHY I DUTIFULLY SUFFIX EVERY SCANDAL, NO MATTER HOW

TRIVIAL, WITH -GATE
IT'S BECAUSE I HAVE POSITIVELY NO IMAGINATION OR CLEVERNESS
BAFTAGATE BANANAGATE BILLYGATE BINGOGATE BLOBBYGATE BLUEGATE

BUTTONGATE CAMILLAGATE CASINOGATE CHERIEGATE CHINAGATE
CHOCOGATE CLARKEGATE CLOSETGATE COINGATE CONTRAGATE COOKIEGATE
CORNGATE DIANAGATE FETTESGATE FILEGATE HOOKERGATE IRANGATE
IRAQGATE KATRINAGATE KREMLINGATE LANCEGATE LEAKGATE LEIJONGATE
MEMOGATE MITCHELLGATE MONICAGATE MULDERGATE NIPPLEGATE
PAINTERGATE PIZZAGATE PLAMEGATE RATHERGATE REUTERSGATE
SAUSAGEGATE SHAWINIGATE SIRENGATE SQUIDGYGATE STINGRAYGATE
STORMONTGATE STRIPPERGATE TAXIGATE TEMPLEGATE TOALLAGATE
TRAVELGATE TROOPERGATE TUNAGATE VODAFONEGATE VOLTERGATE
WHEATGATE WHITEWATERGATE WINEGATE
CAN WE AT LEAST HAVE A SUFFIX-GATE
OR HOW ABOUT A GATE-GATE SO YOU FAGGOTS CAN GET IT OUT OF YOUR

SYSTEM
%
_"_ %
(< ?
` " TO: ALL GLAMOUR MODELS
__||___
|\___//_\
(' | ') \\ RE: YOUR RECENT PERFORMANCE
__|\ , / |/
/: / \ ::
\| ######o /| MESSAGE FOLLOWS
######## \)
########
\ : / SUCK A COCK OR GET AWAY FROM THE CAMERA
\: /
--
%%%
%%
%
/:\
|/|, b'ger
%
___
__..--'' \
___..--'' \ MAYBE IF I HEAR THE WORD
___..--'' \ "BORAT" MORE IT WILL MAKE
__..--'' \ ME NOT HATE IT SO MUCH
\ __..--\
\ __..--'' __..--\-._
\ __..--'' __..--'' '-._
\ __..--'' __..--'' \
_..--\__..--'' __..--'' |
/ \__..--'' __..__ .'
| __..--'' ''--..__.'
\ __..--'' .:` `:. \
\ _..--'' .:` `:. |
`. _.-' `:. \
`-.___.-' .-=-. |
/ .-=. / .--.\ .-=-. /
/ / /.-. \ | /####\| / .--.\ |
| | | | \ \ \####// | /####\| /
\/ / \ | `-.__.` \ \####//
|/ / \ \ `--._...--.
\| / `. \
\| / |
\| |
\ `-._ /
`. `-.._ /
`. _.:`
`. __..--'' NOPE DIDN'T WORK
\ /
LGB | |
%
. : : : .
.:`. ! ,':.
.. _ ,-'-. _ .. JESUS WEPT
: ; _,_ ; :
,':_(._.)_:`.
/|( - )|\ SORRY THAT'S SUPPOSED TO BE "WIPED"
/ ////\\\ \
/ /(\\///)\ \
\"""""""""""/
\ /
`-. .-'
,\``,`/ \ ,',,/
''`\`'---^---`'`\,`hjw
%
____
/(( ))
( )6 6( ) SO DOES MARILYN MANSON LIKE TAKING IT
(_) l (_) UP THE ASS OR IS IT JUST PART OF HIS JOB
\ <> )
____) (_____
( \____/ )
) ( )( ) (
/ / \ / \ \
/ / \ / \ \
\ \ )==( / /
\ \ / \ / /
'\\/ \//'
'|\` '|\`
\ /
\ /
) (
jgs/akg / \
/ \
/ \
/ \
/ \
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`-...., ,..-'
`-..-'
%
_
. - ' ' ' ' -.
. ' _,._ ' .
,' ;' "; ',
|' ',_ ,-' .| KIKO WU SURE DOES SEEM FOND
| '. ' . | OF PUTTING THINGS UP HER BUTT
| ' , . ' |
| | ' - . _ . -| |
| '. | |
| | '. |
| '. |
| | ., |
| . , |
| | . ' |
| . ' | WELL EVERYONE SHOULD DO WHAT
| | . ' | THEY'RE GOOD AT I GUESS
!. ' ' .'
'.| ' , .
' , ' ,. '
' - . , .-
, .
, . :F_P:
, .
,'
%
_,__ .:
<* / | \ WHAT YOU SAY:
.-./ |. : :, AUSSIE AUSSIE AUSSIE, OI OI OI
/ '-._/ \_
/ ' \
.' *:
.-' ;
| |
\ /
| /
\* __.--._ /
\ _.' \:. |
>__,-' \_/*_.-'
snd :--, WHAT WE HEAR:

'/ YAY WE'RE AN ISLAND FULL OF CRIMINALS
%
__,='`````'=/__
'// (o) \(o) \ `' _,-,
//| ,_) (`\ ,-'`_,-\
,-~~~\ `'===' /-, \==```` \__
/ `----' `\ \ \/
,-` , \ ,.-\ \
/ , \,-`\`_,-`\_,..--'\
,` ,/, ,>, ) \--`````\
( `\`---'` `-,-'`_,< \ \_,.--'`
`. `--. _,-'`_,-` | \
[`-.___ <`_,-'`------( /
(`` _,-\ \ --`````````|--` SERIOUSLY FOLKS HAVE YOU
>-`_,-`\,-` , | HEARD OF MANGOSTEEN ?!?!?!?!?
<`_,' , /\ /
` \/\,-/ `/ \/`\_/V\_/ IT'S AN MLM VERSION OF SNAKE OIL
( ._. ) ( .__. )
| | | | I'M TOTALLY SERIOUS WHEN I TELL YOU
\,---_| |_---./ THIS:
Zeus ooOO(_) (_)OOoo
IT HAS AMAZING HEALING PROPERTIES
IF YOU HAVE CANCER IT CAN TOTALLY HELP

........... YOU TO DIE UNTREATED
%
.-""-.
(___/\ \ FOLKS I THINK WE MIGHT BE OVERUSING
( |' ' ) ) THE TERM MILF HERE WHEN IT IS USED
__) _\=_/ ( TO REFER TO ANY WOMAN OVER TWENTY
____(__.' ` \ ) REGARDLESS OF PARENTAL STATUS
.(/"-.._.(' ; (
/ / . (' , | )
_.`'---.._/ /.__ ____.'_| |_/
'-'``'-._ / | `-........'
jgs `;-"`; |
`'.__/
%
\
,)\
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')ssssS GO AHEAD AND TRY TO CATCH THAT CAB
\_sSSsSs LADY BUT THAT'S NOT GOING TO STOP
_) ssSsss ME FROM PUTTING YOUR HOOKER PARTS
.-T-. / s s s IN MY FRIDGE
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%
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dMM MMMMMM
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%
/\_ _ __
__ _ \( ! )/_/ __ THOSE QUEER EYE GUYS ARE SO
\_\( % )>o<})# )/_/ GAY YOU JUST WANT TO HUG AND
_(%>o<(_!_)>o<#)_ KISS THEM WITH YOUR FISTS
/_/(_% ( | (_#_)/_/
( ! (~>O<~) % ) _
_({>O<}(_|_)%>O<%)_>
/_/(_!_)# )( (_%_)
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/_/(_#_)(_|_)\_\
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\ /
\ /
\ /
______________
|.------------.| LOOK, I CAN STICK THE WII CONTROLLER UP MY
|| || ASS AND SWING THE SWORD WITH MY BUTT
|| ||
|| || WHISH WHISH
|| ||
||____________||_ ISN'T THAT NEAT
|OO ....... OO | `-.
'------_.-._---' _.'
_____|| ||___/_
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/ -'_.---------._'- \ ,'___i--i___
/_.-'_ NINTENDO _'-._\ ' /_+ o :::_\
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`-' '-.`-' , V
%
//
//
//
//
_______||
,-''' ||`-.
( || )
|`-..._______,..-'| I WOULD SAY THAT THE ACTOR WHO PLAYED
| || | KRAMER ON SEINFELD'S CAREER IS NOW
| _______|| | CLEARLY OVER AFTER HIS LITTLE OUTBURST
|,-'''_ _ ~ ||`-.|
| ~ / `-.\ ,-'\ ~| BUT THE FACT THAT NOBODY CAN REMEMBER
|`-...___/___,..-'| HIS REAL NAME AND INSTEAD JUST CALLS
| `-./-'_ \/_| | HIM "KRAMER" KIND OF MAKES IT CLEAR
| -' ~~ || -.| THAT WAS ALREADY TRUE
jrei ( ~ ~ ~~ )
`-..._______,..-'
%
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||| | | | | | qbiref | gvgrf | |||| sntfynlre | | | gjngf ktvey | |
IT'S MY OWN SEX CHART INCLUDING MOM, A GOAT, THAT CHICK WITH THE LIMP,
THAT TRAINCAR FULL OF MIDGETS, A RUN DOWN '57 BUICK, AND A FLASHLIGHT
OKAY I'M LYING
,----------.
| |
`--- ME ---'
tQn
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.' || '. HOCKEY: SUCKS
/ __||__ \
| /`- -`\ | SOCCER: SUCKS
| | 6 6 | |
\/\____7___/\/ BASEBALL: SUCKS
.--------:\:I:II:I:/;--------.
/ \`:I::I:`/ \ BASKETBALL: SUCKS
| `------' |
| \____/ | CRICKET: SUCKS
| , __ ___ , |
|======| / | / _ \ |======| RUGBY: SUCKS
|======| ^| | | | | | |======|
|~~~~~| | | | |_| | |~~~~~| CURLING: SUCKS
| |\ [___] \___/ /| |
\ \| |/ /
`\ \ _ _.-=""=-._ _ / /'
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jgs ; (__|| ||__) ; FOOTBALL: DOESN'T SUCK
; ___\ /___ ;
'. ---/-=..=-\--- .' ANY QUESTIONS
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/ | 6 6 WIFE SWAPPING
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..:::::.. YOU JERK THAT THING
.:::::::::::. YOU JUST JERK IT LIKE
::::::::::::::: THERE'S NO TOMORROW
:::::::::::::::::
:::::::_/|::::::: YOU JERK IT LIKE YOUR
::::=/_/::::::: MOTHERFUCKING LIFE
`:_/ |::::::' DEPENDED ON IT CHIEF
( / ,|:::''
\_/^\/||__ YOU KEEP JERKING IT
_/~ `""~`"` \_ UNTIL I SAY STOP AND
__/ -'/ `-._ `\_\__ I NEVER SAY STOP
/jgs /-'` `\ \ \-.\
HOLY FUCKING CHRIST
%
,*-'. CAN I ASK A PRACTICAL QUESTION
.'+*
' # ' HOW COME JOHN TRAVOLTA HASN'T STARVED YET
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__.-" ^ "-.__ WITHOUT PERMISSION AGAIN OR WHAT
cgmm
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HHHHHb. GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB AGAIN HUH ????
/`HHHHHHb
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/ dHHHHHHb BE A MAN ALREADY
: HHHHHHHH
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| JHHHHHHH IF YOU'RE GOING TO PAY A WHORE THEN
J FHHHHHHb PAY A *WHORE*
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a, (M| .T` I HAVE A WACKY CRAZY NUTTY TITLE AT MY JOB
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\M\_/^\, PROGRESSIVE COMPANY AND ALSO I'M A SHITCOCK
/MMA"`z-
-------</"YM.-------------------------------------------
zi. _Y. `"+=*
SEE IT'S RIGHT THERE ON MY BUSINESS
CARD: "CHIEF BUG WRANGLER, AND SHITCOCK"
%
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/,---. )\ WELP TERA PATRICK GOT A STUPID HAIR DYE
/ (((\\)\ \ AND UGLY TATTOOS AND A FUCKED UP BOOB JOB
\ \\-_/ / /
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(_)=(_)
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/ ," ". \ SHORT STORY: MY BONER IS INCONSOLABLE
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/ # (\ /) \ Q: HOW CAN YOU TELL GIRLS IN PORN DON'T
| # .-'-. | LIKE ANAL
| /(_I_)\ |
; \\) (// ;
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\ \ | / /
\ \|/ /
\ /|\ /
| \|/ | A: BECAUSE IT GOES IN THEIR BUTT, DUH
|__/Y\__|
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./ / /\ \ | \ \ \ \
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_,.......____
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,' / / `. `. IN THE YEAR 2010 WE WILL ALL HAVE ASPERGER'S
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/ / \ / (_) / / / \ \ ASPERGER'S SUFFERERS ARE NATURALLY SMARTER
: / /) / / __ / / / L L AND FUNNIER AND UNIQUE AND ARE THUSLY SURE
| / __,' / / / / / / | | TO BE SELECTED FOR
| / / / / / / / /___ | |
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\-;_/\__;__/ _/ _/ I JUST HAVE AN ADDICTION
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/ /-._.--\ \_ TO HITTING STUPID BITCHES
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(_) (_) TENACIOUS D VS BLACK ADDER VS MONTY PYTHON
VS MR BEAN MARATHON PLAYING ALL NIGHT ON PBS
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IF JPEGS ARE BOYS
AND GIFS ARE GIRLS
THEN WH-WH-WHAT ARE P-P-PNGS
___UUUU_____________________\_______o___,
()_________))__,_o_I_I_I__P_P_"_P_P_____o)
'--------------------^' FR
%
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|\___//_\ BABY I LOVES IT WHEN
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/: / \ ::
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--
%%%
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%
/:\
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%
____
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(____| `._____
____| _|___ I'M PART OF THE BEATOFF CABAL
(____| .'
VK |____/
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%
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_(<Ò , TURNS OUT HOTJOBS.COM WASN'T AT ALL
==-( >`-/ \ ABOUT WHAT I WAS HOPING
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---'--- `---'-MK/ejm
%
`'.
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' | || ' TAKE A BIG DEEP GAY BITE OF MY AIDSCAKE
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%%%
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%
/:\
|/|, b'ger
%
.-.
(/^\)
(\ /) WILL SOMEONE PLEASE STUFF
.-'-. A DICK IN ARIA GIOVANNI
/(_I_)\ OR SEND HER HOME
\\) (//
/ \
\ | /
\|/
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jgs /Y\
%
.------.
|A_ _ | I DIDN'T EVEN HAVE TO USE MY AK
|( \/ ).-----.
| \ /|K /\ | I MUST SAY IT WAS A GOOD DAY
| \/ | / \ |
`-----| \ / | (HE FOLDED TO BIG SLICK YOU SEE)
| \/ K|
`------' hjw+tQn
%
.-.
(/^\)
(\ /)
.-'-. IF I COULD BE ANY KIND OF BOOBS
/(_I_)\
\\) (//
/ \ I'D BE ASHLEY JUGGS' BOOBS
\ | /
\|/
/|\
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jgs /Y\
%
________________________
| |
| o o o | BLOW ME WITH YOUR ASSHOLE
| o= o. .. |
| . : . \\. |
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| o-.\//. :o. |
| ,,, o'\o. o . =o |
| "o0". o .=o\_//o o |
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""""""""""""""""""""""""
%
_ _{Ss I CRY EVERY TIME WE MAKE LOVE
//\\_/_/\Ss
pb _/_| \_/ \_ (FOR THREE HOURS AFTERWARDS)
%
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/ /\\\\\
\|' | I PRONOUNCE BANAL TO RHYME WITH ANAL
c 6_6 AND THAT'S THE END OF THE DISCUSSION
.-;\___/.
.' |\/=\/:`.
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I'M A SPOKEN WORD ARTIST
/
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( ) /
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) _ )
( \_
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(____\___)) Krogg98
%
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MY DANGLY THINGS GET REALLY SWOLLEN THIS TIME OF YEAR

%
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.' `.
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|.-. .-. .-. .-.| SORRY I CAN'T LET YOU PASS
|`-. | | | |-'| UNLESS YOU SUCK MY COCK
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;;jgs;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;
FORD: NOT QUITE AS TERRIBLE AS CARTER

%
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( \| / | | ` (_/ ) WHAT'S WRONG WITH GUY PEARCE'S
)/ / / \\_ ,( CHEEKBONES ANYWAY
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%
|/|
|/|
|/| BYE SADDAM
|/|
|/|
|/|
|/| /.)
|/|/\/
|/|\/
(...)
(...)
(...)
(...)
(...)
/../\
/ ,^./\
/ / \/\
/ / \/\
( ( )/)
| | |/|
| | |/|
| | |/| SAY HI TO TOOKIE FOR US
( ( )/)
\ \ / /
\ `---' /
`-----' PhS
%
". ,#
\ `-._____,-'=/
____`._ ----- _,'_____PhS
A MIND FOREVER VOYAGING

%
|
(_) \ ___
_ / ", /RRRb
./( ( ) - | MMN WHEN I GO TO SLEEP I DREAM OF PRICKS
f^~Y^| \MMM
~ ^ ^ /^--^\
| | AND THEN WAKE UP AND YEP:
| ^ | PRICKS THERE TOO
~> <
| \
i |
mOm
%
_____
/ _)))
/ / 6 6
( ( \ THERE'S THIS GIRL ON THE TRAIN
/ ,' __= I WOULD LIKE TO EXPERIMENT ON
/ _ ) /_ ) (YOU KNOW LIKE TO OPEN HER UP
( /\__~__|( AND SEE WHAT MAKES HER BROKEN)
/\/__)__) )
( /\ (_
\| \__'/ \ WHOA TURNS OUT THE KNEE BONE REALLY
:o / \ IS CONNECTED TO THE SHIN BONE
/\ _/ )
\/ |
| |
| |
) |
/| )
/ |________|
| / \ |
|/ ____\!_______
/ )\
/( '-.\_ ..
b'ger /,/ .. .
%
HERE IS MY CLASSICAL JAPANESE HAIKU FOR YOUR ENJOYMENT
=, .=
=.| ,---. |.=
=.| "-(:::::)-" |.= BABY I'M A WANT YA
\\__/`-.|.-'\__//
`-| .::| .::|-' BARFING ALL OVER THE SIDEWALK REVEALING
_|`-._|_.-'|_ FRUIT LOOPS FOR BREAKFAST
/.-| | .::|-.\
// ,| .::|::::|. \\ NOT CLEANING IT UP, RUNNING AWAY
|| //\::::|::' /\\ ||
/'\|| `.__|__.' ||/'\
^ \\ // ^
jrei /'\ /'\
^ ^
%
_
.--,-"" ""-.
( )
j- __. | WITH A NAME LIKE FLIRTIN' AND SQUIRTIN'
| ' -'| IT'S GOT TO BE GOOD
|`--._____,+-.
.';`--.___.' `.
.' / _ |
/ ,-' _.-'o;__\
( .' o.-' \)`.
`j--..___.' ' / )
(/ _ `-._ `-/`--' ,----.
(.' `--. `. `-._.'`._,-<o ===|
.' \ `. /\`./`. `----'
.' | `' _\,() \
.' ;_) ()___/ \
/ `._____.' | \
\ / =====. \ _ `.
`.____/ / \ __\/() \
.' ( ) ()____/ .'
/ `--- -' |\ .'
`---.___ | `-'
.-`--.________.---'`.
.-' / \
/ .' \
/ _.-'\ |
| `-.____.-' `. ; .-""-.
| | `. ,' |
\ | \ /
`.___.' `. /
hjw \ .'
`.__.'
%
____
.---. `\
/o o \ |
.-'-. | .' /_ I MIGHT SAY TO EITHER
/` |__ c ( /</ POPEYE OR OLIVE OYL
/` _.--`-,-` `.~_ `-' THAT ONE OR THE OTHER
'-|` a '<-. [] __\ \___ COULD PROBABLY DO BETTER
\ _\__) \=` /(( ` ` ))\
C_ ` ,_/ / `======` \
| ;----' / /| |\ \
_.---| |--._ / / | | \ \
.' _./' '\._ '. \ \ | | / /
/--'` `-.-` `'-\ \ \| |/ /
/ o \ \/| |\/
|___ . .') $ )/
(___)| o \/ / (/`""""""`$
| | | |-'\ .--. ; ;
/ |_.-"""-.-'=_ | '--./ = .`| |
< ` =--> _= / __/ | |
'._ _.-"-.= /`"-...-"` | |
`;"""` __/ | |
/```````` | | |
| , \ | |
\ \ \ | |
\ \ \ |__________|
jgs | \ \ | || |
/ | | | || |
/ / | | || |
/ /` /` _|_||_|_ BUT LET'S FACE IT
.' | | \ |\ / THEY'RE BOTH PRETTY
( /--.___.' .----' / \ REVOLTING AND ON
`--...__.' / \__ ( | | BALANCE UNLOVABLE
/ \__ | `) `'----'--| |
| `)---'----` \ /
'----'----` '--'
%
_ _
| \ / |
| \ _.--. .-. .-. .--._ / |
| `._..--' \ _..--'' '.' ''--.._ / '--.._.' |
.' o _.--._ o `-' _.--._ o o _.--._ `-' o _.--._ o '.
| _O .' '. O .' '. O .' '. O .' '. O_ |
|| | / \ / \ / \ / \ | ||
||_': : : : : : : :'_||
|| ': : : : : : : :' ||
||_| \ / \ / \ / \ / |_||
| O '. .' O '. .' O '. .' O `. .' O |
'. o '-..-' '-..-' o `-..-' `-..-' o .'
\ O o O O _ O o /
`--------------------------------------' `-------------LGB--'
CAN'T WE ALL JUST AGREE WITHOUT RESERVATION THAT JAZZ AS A MUSIC FORM SUCKS
%
_
/\) _
_ / / (/\ WANNA CONDUCT AN INTERVIEW IN SECOND LIFE HUH ?????
/\) ( Y) \ \
/ / "" (Y )
( Y) _ ""
"" (/\ _
\ \ /\)
(Y ) / / FROM THIS DAY FORTH WE SHALL HARKEN BACK TO TODAY
"" ( Y) AS THE DAWN OF A NEW AGE OF PENISGRIEFING
Krogg ""
%
.-~~~~~~~~~-._ _.-~~~~~~~~~-.
__.' ~. .~ `.__ I'M A PALIMPSEST
.'// \./ \\`.
.'// | \\`.
.'// .-~"""""""~~~~-._ | _,-~~~~"""""""~-. \\`.
.'//.-" `-. | .-' "-.\\`.
.'//______.============-.. \ | / ..-============.______\\`.
.'______________________________\|/______________________________`.
%
| WHY DID BUSH HAVE TO SEND THOSE
`. VIKING PROBES TO MARS TO
__________ ___________________ | KILL ALL THOSE MICROBES
| o_ o-_O__|______o-.o,-o--o___|--'___ _______,,
|0-o o "PG| o____,--'`-``==O=====o---|--o ||
`---------- --------------------------'--____-'' OH THE HUMANITY
PG
%
,.%`
,;%%', __%%%;,
,%%%\___/%%%
' % \ %% _ %_-%% %%,'
%/%%% \,%%%%;%_/%%
,%/% '%%;\%%% ;%,
`;' `%-\_\ \%;_%/%
,,%_/%\|\%%`%
%,%%|\%\,' I'M OPERATION MARKET-GARDEN
`%% |-%%\%\%%%
| %-_\%\`_',
| '%`%'%
| ,%%%%%,
_____O_____ ,%%%`
/\_________/\
/\/ \/\
/\/ ~;@;~ \/\
/\/ .-_-. \/\
/\/ : ('< : \/\
/\/ '.(_).' \/\
\/: :\/
\ ~;@;~ o ~;@;~ /
'. .'
'._______.' lc
%
_ ,--. ,-"""". _,---.
\`_/`'---._ / `--"_, \_,--. \
(,-'`--. `' /= (. , _ ,: ) ) ___._
bmw ``--.\._ ,'__.-'`-(. ,-.`-_'__...- >\\`.
/a:f
I'M A "SKEPTICAL CHICK" SO I'M GOING TO POSE NUDE IN A CALENDAR !!!!!!!
BECAUSE AS WE ALL KNOW TRUE INTELLECTUAL ENDEAVOR INVOLVES BEING SLUTTY

%
,"=-.
/ _),`'".
( /a( ), )
) C = = ?/ CHOOSY MOTHERS CHOOSE JIZZ
( )) (_ o-<
) ( `-' \; ( \_
( | \ ) )| \_/}
\ \ \(_;/-|_)
)/) `._,--/ /
/ `!__!!
( (_o))
---`-._, )---
------( / |----
| ( |
:__/|\_;
\ |/
)(\_
/_)--`
gpyy \_!
%
___
/ (`\\ I CALL HIM "BUSHITLER"
c` 9\9
___.-| -_"/
/\===\|_/===\ LOLOLOLOLOL THAT WORKS ON SO MANY LEVELS
/`< __ >/ __|,\ YOU HAVE NO IDEA
b'ger( - | '|/o| '|- \
%
_,---.
(/_/)))) I HAVE A PHILOSOPHICAL QUESTION
\c e_e) .
\ = ) _|
,-` -(_ |o| ARE THEY RAPE VICTIMS BECAUSE THEY
/ `-'\\ |#{) ARE FEMINIST OR FEMINISTS BECAUSE
/__| ._ _)y / THEY ARE RAPE VICTIMS
< \ (\_/
`.\ ____\ IN OTHER WORDS WHICH COMES FIRST
,>>> |
.==T=T==.__| PERSONALLY I BELIEVE THAT IT'S
| | / A CLASSIC CHICKEN-AND-EGG PROBLEM
| |\
|_______| \
/ /\ \ ANYHOO LET'S GO OUT AND MAKE SOME
/ ,' `. \ MORE FEMINISTS
/ / \ \
<\_\_ \ \
`---` (_`-\_
`---' hjw
%
__
.' '\._
\ @ /; __
;::'--':;. _ .' '.
:;:: _.'._ \ @ /
;;.-:/ | \:.'--;
:___......._ '.
{{__..--""-,_'-.:
{{[_ _ _ _ _'--.}
{[| | || || | |-.]}
{[\-'-':-::-:-'/ ]}
{[ \ \ _\_/ / ~]} I'M FRANGIBLE AND QUITE HONESTLY
{{[\ .-' '-./]}}
{[.:-"'\ /'"-'.]} POSSIBLY EVEN FUNGIBLE
{[' __/ \__ :]}
{[::' _) (_ ' :]}
{{[: : ] [ : :]}
{[: : ( ) :]}}
{{[: : '-' :]}
[ : :_.:';. :]}
{{[_.' _ _ _ '-._]}
{|\\|~|_|_|_|~| ] }
jim{{ '""''~~~""-- _'
''""""""""""""''
. | .
-:--|--:-
' | '
_|_
| |
\ /
/ \
%
|\_ ==== _/|
/# \ / #\
.=\ |/""\ /""\ | /=.
_//""\_,H =# || #= H,_/""\\_
./ /#.| .=()=. | #\ \.
./ # =# |\x("(vv)")x/| #= # \.
|| /==" #_/ \ \/xx\/ / \_ #" ==\ ||
)) """ /# # #\______/# # #\ """ ((
\_\ =/# # # # # # # # # # \= /_/
"""" # # # # # # # # # # # #""""
/ W 3 W 3 W 3 W 3 W 3 W 3 W\
#W.W.W.3.W.3.W.3.W.3.W.3.W.#
# 3.3.3.3.W.3.3.3.W.3.3.3.3# INDIA WORKS AT THE MOONLIGHT
\W3.3.W.3.3.W.W.3.3.W.3.W/ BUNNY RANCH ?!?!?!?!?!?!?
\======================/
|#\ #| # ./"\. # |# /#|
|#\ #| # ./"\. # |# /#| (SOUND OF MICROPHONE DROPPING
|#\ #| # ./"\. # |# /#| TO FLOOR, FOOTSTEPS SCRAMBLING
|#\ #| # ./"\. # |# /#| OUT OF HOUSE, DOOR SLAMMING)
|#\ #| # ./"\. # |# /#|
|#\ #| # ./"\. # |# /#|
.#######################.
_/*.*.*.*[@@@@@@@@].*.*.*.*\_
/ * @@* *[@x ... x @] * *W@ * \
# * W@* *[@...x..x...@] * *@W * #
#**@W* * [@xxxx[]xxxx@]* * *W@**#
#**W@ * *[@...x..x...@] * * @W**#
# * @W * *[@ x....x @] * * W@ * #
## W@ * *[@@@@@@@@] * * @W ##
\========================/
)[S@yaN] * [16.08.2002](
| | | | | | | | | | | |
=====================
%
___
/\/_\_
\/ ))))
",".// IS PREMATURE EJACULATION WHEN YOU HAVE AN
\%_,O ORGASM BEFORE SHE TRICKS YOU INTO MARRYING HER
_||___
/)___/_\
'(_/\_)\/\
/>,\\/ / \/\
\o\/==/\ \/o__
(/| /o\\ \,\\-
// \ | \
/o| | \ \
/ / / o \ \
/ / \ | \
/ | o / \ o \
\ / | \ \
/ / / o / \
/ | o \ ) |
/__/\___/_____/\___o/ b'ger
=' ='
%
_,,,_
.' `'. HAVING TO WORK FOR A LIVING IS
/ ____ \ JUST LIKE SLAVERY
| .'_ _\/
/ ) a a| .----. WATCH ME TAKE WORDS WITH POWER
/ ( > | /| '--. AND MEANING AND RIP THEM UP AND
( ) ._ / || ]| `-. THEN THROW THEM ON THE GROUND
) _/-.__.'`\ || ]| ::| AND THEN STOMP ON THEM AND THEN
( .-'`-. \__ ) || ]| ::| PISS ON THEM AND THEN WAIT FOR
`/ `-./ `. || ]| ::| THEM TO DRY OUT AND THEN SET
_ | \ \ \ \| ]| .-' THEM ON FIRE
/ \| \ \ \ \ L.__ .--'(
| |\ `. / / \ ,---|_ \---------,
| `\'. '. /`\ \/ .--._|=- |_ /|
| \ '. '._ './`\/ .-' '. / |
| | `'. `;-:-;`)| |-./ |
| /_ `'--./_ ` )/'-------------')/) |
\ | `""""----"`\//`""`/,===..'`````````/ ( |
| | / `---` `===' / ) |
/ \ / / ( |
| '------. |'--------------------'| ) |
\ `-| | / |
`--...,______| | ( |
| | | | ) ,|
| | | | ( /||
| | | | )/ `"
/ \ | | (/
jgs .' /I\ '.| | /)
.-'_.'/ \'. | | /
``` `"""` `| .-------------------.||
`"` `"`
%
[]
[]
[]
[]
[]
[]
_______________ [] _________________
_______________) [] (_______________
! ! ! [] ' ! ! !
! ! ! [] ,! ! ! !
! ! ! [] ! ! ! ! !
!_____!_____!___[]_____'!_!__!_____!_____!_____
[]__,_!_!_!
[]_!__!_!|
,[]_!__!_!
,! []_!__!|
,! ! []_!__!
! ! ! []_!| I'LL BE HOME FOR CHRISTMAS /
!! ! !|[]_|
!!!._|_[] YOU CAN OOF OW OW OW OW FALLING DOWN STAIRS
!!!|!_.[]
!|!_!__[]!.
!_!_!__[]! !.
!_!_!__[]! ! `.
|!_!__|]! ! ! `.
|_!__|]! ! ! ! `.
|____|_! ! ! ! `
|____|_! ! ! !
[]____|_! ! !
[]______|_! !
[]________|_!
___ejm____________[]__________|____________________
%
---+---+---+---+---+---+---+---+---+---+---+---+---+---+---+---+---+--
o | o o | o o | o o | o o | o o | o o | o o | o o | o
---+---+---+---+---+---+---+---+---+---+---+---+---+---+---+---+---+--
o o | o o | o o | o o | o o | o o | o o | o o | o o
---+---+---+---+---+---+---+---+---+---+---+---+---+---+---+---+---+--
---+---+---+---+---+---+---+---+---+---+---+---+---+---+---+---+---+--
---+---+---+---+---+---+---+---+---+---+---+---+---+---+---+---+---+--
---+---+---+---+---+---+---+---+---+---+---+---+---+---+---+---+---+--
---+---+---+---+---+---+---+---+---+---+---+---+---+---+---+---+---+--
---+---+---+---+---+---+---+---+---+---+---+---+---+---+---+---+---+--
---+---+---+---+---+---+---+---+---+---+---+---+---+---+---+---+---+--
---+---+---+---+---+---+---+---+---+---+---+---+---+---+---+---+---+--
---+---+---+---+---+---+---+---+---+---+---+---+---+---+---+---+---+--
---+---+---+---+---+---+---+---+---+---+---+---+---+---+---+---+---+--
HANDS UP WHO'S COCK BLOCKED

%
,.
|`:.
| `:.
m1a | |`.`:;@.
| |;.`.`;|
; `.';| || STOLEN PORN IS THE BEST PORN
,(`;.`.| ||
/8o (`:. ||
/o8888o `; ||
/@o8888888o (`;|
(`.()oO888888o (<
`.`.;:oO08c{)/ |
`.`.(),0 / /
`.`.`/ /
`.( /
%
_____
' `
| |
_| |
/' _\________|_____
/ '|| `` ` _|
|| || ` ` <@ \
| ||| ( .' I'M A MAN AND I WEAR MY HAIR IN A PONYTAIL
||||| ` _|
| ||`` |
| || \ -' THIS IS HOW YOU KNOW TO SHOOT ME FIRST
|||| | |
|| | |_____|
|| |/ \
| || \
|| |
/' /
/ /'
'
%
_________
|MMMMMMMMM| _
________ |MMMMMMMMM| _|l|_
|!!!!!!!_|___|MMMMMMMMM| |lllll|
|!!!!!!|=========|MMMMM| |lllll|_______
|!!!!!!|=========|MMMMM| _|lllll|HHHHHHH|
|!!!!!!|=========|MMMMM| ________|lllllllll|HHHHH|
|!!!!!!|=========|MMMMM| |unununun|lllllllll|HHHHH|______
|!!!!!!|=========|MMMMM| |nunununu|lllllllll|HH|:::::::::|
|!!!!!!|=========|MMM__|..|un__unun|lllllllll|HH|:::::::::|
|!!!!!!|=======_=|M_( ')' );' .)unu|lllllllll|HH|:::::::::|
|!!!_!!|======( )|(. ` ,) (_ ', )un|lllllllll|HH|:::::::::| ~~~
|!!(.)!|===__(`.')_(_ ')_,)(. _)unu|lllllllll|HH|:__::::::|~~ ~~
|!(.`')|==( .)' .)MMM|M|| |un|nunun|lllllllll|``|( ,)_::::| ~~~~ ~
-(: _)|=(`. ')_)|---|- ' ``|`````|lll____ll| (_; `'):::|~~~ ~~~
| |==(_'_)|=| ______ ''/\ \' |(_'_)::::|\~~~~__|)__
| ''''|''o/`.-``~~~~~ ``-. /--\___\ ``|`````` /____\____/
jrei | h ( `; ~~~ ~~ ~ ) |M_|#_#| ' -- __________|~
-- * '-.._~~__~..-' -- -* - / ~~~~ ~~~~~~
* - - -- ---- --- _.-'~~~~~ ~ ~~
__--_________............-------------'''''''''''''''` ~~~~~ ~~~ ~~~~
~~ ~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~ ~~~
~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~ ~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~ ~ ~~~~~~ ~~~~~~ ~~~~ ~~~~
~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~ ~~~ ~~~~~~ ~~~
IS BOSTON EVEN A REAL PLACE

%
T \`. T
| T .--------------.___________) \ | T
! | |//////////////|___________[ ] ! T |
! `--------------' ) ( | !
mn '-' !
WHEN ALL YOU HAVE IS A COCK EVERYTHING LOOKS LIKE A CUNT

%
/:""| .@@@@@, YOU'RE SIMPLY NOT GOING TO GUESS WHAT
|: 66|_ @@@@@@@@, PORN-INSPIRED ALTERNATE TITLE THAT
C _) aa`@@@@@@ PORNOGRAPHERS CAME UP WITH FOR
\ ._| (_ ?@@@@ "MEET THE FOCKERS"
) / =' @@@@"
/`\\ $```
|| |Y| //`\ ."~~~~~". WAIT HOW DID YOU GUESS
|| |#| / | || | .:. |
|| |#| \ | || A | /6 6\ |
|| |#| / | || |~|_|_\ e /_|_ .@@@@,
:| |=: / | |\ |_|)___`"`___(8 aa`@@@,
||_|,| | |_| \ |~~~~~~~~~| = `@@@
$))|| | ((( | \_________/ )_/`@'
|~~~`-`~~~| `~\~~~~~~| |/ /_\ \| / || @
| | `\ / ()/___\() | || @
|_________| ( || ||~~~~~|| /~|| "`
|_________| | || || || /__W_\
| || | || || || |||
|_||__ __|_|| ||_____|| _|||
jgs (____)) (:;:;)) ||-----|| ((___)
%
______
\ \.
|`\_____\
|` | | TODAY IS THE FIRST DAY OF THE REST OF YOUR
__-====-__ | | | LIFE AFTER TAKING THE MOTHER OF ALL DUMPS
(~< >~>_| | |
{~~-====--~~: \ | |
!~~------~~/----`+----/
\ \___ /
>------\ \ <
<_________________>
%
_
H||
H||
__________H||___________
[|.......................|
||.........## -n.#.......| LADY
||......... # # ......| @@@@
||......... * ......| @@@@@@@ SMEARING INK ON YOUR
||........ -^........| , - @@@@ BOOBS AND THEN PRESSING
||.....##\ .......| | '_ @@@ THEM ON A PIECE OF PAPER
||....##### /###.....| | __\@ \@ DOES NOT MAKE YOU AN
||....########\ \((#.....| _\\ (/ ) @\_/)____ "ARTIST"
||..####, ))/ ##.......| |(__/ / /|% #/
||..##### '####.....| \___/ ----/_|-*/ IT BARELY MAKES YOU HUMAN
||..#####\____/#####.....| ,: '(
||...######..######......| |: \
||....."""" """"...b'ger| |: )
[|_______________________| |: |
H||_______H|| |_____,_|
H||________\| | / (
H|| H|| | /\ )
H|| H|| ( \| /
_H||_______H||__ | /'=.
H|________________| '=>/ \
/ \ /|/
,___/|
%
|
- * -
|
___ ___ __ __ __
((")) /(")\ {')\ {')\ {')\
((-)) ,,o,,,, |\^/| |-\ \ |-\ \ |-\ \
| @ | \___/ | o | B| \_\ D| \_\ Q| \_\
|___| /\ /\ |___| |___| |___| |____| ldb
JESUS IS ALLERGIC TO MY DICK

%
_n_________________
|_|_______________|_|
| ,-------------. | I GOT A WII BUT I COULD ONLY DO THE BEAT-OFF
| | .---------. | | MOTION AND THAT ONLY WORKS FOR THE GAME
| | | | | | "WATCHING PAINT DRY 3: THE REVENGE"
| | | | | |
| | | | | |
| | | | | |
| | `---------' | |
| `---------------' |
| _ |
| _| |_ ,-. |
||_ O _| ,-. "._,"|
| |_| "._," A | hjw
| _ _ B |
| // // |
| // // \\\\\\ |
| ` ` \\\\\\ ,
|________...______,"
%
\ /
\ /
| . |
|----------|
|--. .--| I HOPE KRIS AND/OR KROSS ARE OKAY
| \__/ |
| || |
| || |
_|__ || __|_
( '-++-' )
( - .. . )
( _ -/\ . - )
RS (. _ )( __ )
(____)(____)
.----` || '----.
(_________)(____rs___)
%
___,,___
_,-='=- =- -`"--.__,,.._ I'M A BADGER AND EVEN I KNOW
,-;// / - - - -= - "=. THAT NET NEUTRALITY IS ONE
,'/// - - - = - ==-=\`. OF THE MOST BORING TOPICS
|/// / = `. - = == - =.=_,,._ `=/| IN THE HISTORY OF YOUR
/// - - \ - - = ,ndDMHHMM/\b \\ SPECIES
,' - / / / /\ = - /MM(,,._`YQMML `|
<_,=^Kkm / / / / ///H|wnWWdMKKK#""-;. `"0\ |
`""QkmmmmmnWMMM\""WHMKKMM\ `--. \> \
hjm `""' `->>> ``WHMb,. `-_<@)
`"QMM`.
`>>>
%
., .
,,,8.888*,/\'\8,
(\ *88888888888/ /888 I'M CRAPULENT
\\ /88888888888888/8888"
\\.__.88888888888888888,____________,
' _____'"",88888.'__.,,----------.)
__.( ,*8888888888888888888888,
_( ,8888888888888888888888888888,
(____ .'8" ":88888888888888888888
,88888; '88888888/888/8888888'
888888: *888888/88/8\88888'
888888:-__ _-- *8|888888\ \'
888888| 888888' \ |
//88888|=*= \ '=*=' 88888"' \\
// "888| 88 ) \\
,_// **| 8 s |; \\_,
'-' *; '-^' *' /88 '-'
: * J888*
, ^-^ ' |*'
: |
' |-muserna,
'.__..' (.------/|
__) .----------; THAT'S KIND OF A BIG WORD
,| \ ,' ,' SO I HOPE IT MEANS SOMETHING GOOD
.9999\ \ / 999999999999,
999999\ / / 99999999999999\
))))))))\\ / ((((((((((((((((\
^^^^^^^^^\/,^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^'
/'
%
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fsc (--, ) `,_ / `) \/"") ^" `-, -;"\:
`""" `""" `"' `---"
I HAVE A BEAUTIFUL ORANGE MANE WOULD YOU LIKE TO TOUCH IT

%
__
) `"""";._/} WHY CAN'T *I* BE A SENATOR FROM MASSACHUSETTS
| ' /
\ |
jgs '--. .-.\ OH ONLY DOUCHEBAGS VOTE THERE HUH
` `
%
_____
j_____j
/_____/_\ FOO IS SHORT FOR FOOL NOT SHORT FOR FUBAR FYI
|_(~)_| |
| )"( | |
|(@_@)| | hjw
|_____|,'
%
.-.
/ /
/. / IT'S NOT GAY TO WANT TO FUCK JACK MCCOY
) /c\/
( /'\/
) / /
( / / IT'S GAY TO WANT HIM TO FUCK YOU
) / /
( /. /
.`.'.Pru
`'``
%
_
/_'. _
_ \ / '-. CAN'T STOP FILKIN'
< ``-.;),--'`
'--.</()`--.
/ |/-/`'._\ URGUHRUGHHLRH UGGGH SHOT DOWN
|/ |=| IN THE STREET FOR MY LAMENESS
|_|
~` |-| ~~ ~
~~ ~~ __|=|__ ~~
~~ .-'` |_| ``""-._ ~~
~~.' |=| O '-. ~
| `"""` <|\ \ ~
~ \ |\ | ~~
jgs '-.__.--._ |/ .-'
~~ `--...-'` ~~
~~ ~ ~
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%
<>
.-"""-. ||::::::========== OKAY KIDS HERE'S YOUR
/= \ ||::::::========== ASTRONAUT CHECKLIST:
|- /~~~\ | ||::::::==========
|=( '.' ) | ||================ [X] MAPS
\__\_=_/__/ ||================ [X] DIAPERS
{_______} ||================ [X] TRENCHOAT
/` * `'--._|| [X] WIG
/= . [] . { > [X] BB GUN
/ /|ooo |`'--'|| [X] PEPPER SPRAY
( )\_______/ || [X] STEEL MALLET
\``\/ \ || [X] KNIFE
`-| == \_| || [X] RUBBER TUBING
/ | || [X] EXTRA BIG PLASTIC BAGS
|= >\ __/ ||
\ \ |- --| || [ ] A BRAIN IN MY PRETTY
\ __| \___/ || LITTLE HEAD
jgs _{__} _{__} ||
( )( ) || OOPS
^^~ `""" `""" ~^^^~^^~~~^^^~^^^~^^^~
%
_____
/~/~ ~\ FUNERAL'S OVER !!!!!!!!!!!
| | \
\ \ \ LET'S EAT
\ \ \
--\ \ .\''
--==\ \ ,,i!!i,
''"'',,}{,,
%
---\=,</
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,,---', ' ' , , ' ', , ` ' ,' `, , , ` '` ',`,`,` ,',' ',, ,`""'--~',' /
ANNA NICOLE SMITH DIED HUH ?!?!?!
WELL THAT'S ONE PERSON I HAVE TO CROSS OFF MY LIST OF POTENTIAL

HUMAN LIFE RAFTS I CAN POTENTIALLY USE WHEN THE EARTH FLOODS
OVER COMPLETELY DUE TO GLOBAL WARMING WHICH I'M PRETTY SURE
IS GOING TO HAPPEN ANY SECOND ........................ NOW
%
_____________________________________
| |
| | I'VE TRIED TO FORGET
| ___()> |
| " OO(\ |
| __(,/ " |
| _/ \ |
| ~O:< / |
| " |
| | I'VE TRIED SO HARD TO FORGET
|________________________jjs__________|
%
______________ __
[______________] =)__)=
| | (__( MAMA SAID SUCK YOUR COCK
| | )__)
_____| |_____
.` | | `. I THINK THAT'S WHAT SHE SAID
| '-._| |_.-' | ANYWAY I'M HARD OF HEARING
| | \__________/ | |
lc__________| .'______| |______'. |_________
| ( \ / ) |
/ _) | | (_ \
_/ /|/ /| |\ \|\ \_
(__/ | |o| |o| | \__)
\|____|/
%
___
/ _ \
| / \ |
| \_/ |
\___/ ___
_|_|_/[_]\__==_
[---------------] NEW PICTURES OF ME GETTING DRUNK, HIGH,
| O /---\ | AND PUKING ALL OVER THE PLACE ON MY PAGE NOW!!
| | | | GO LEAVE ME SOME COMMENTS PEOPLE SHOW SOME LOVE
| \___/ |
[---------------] WHAT DO YOU MEAN I'M FOREVER UNEMPLOYABLE NOW
[___]
| |\\ WELL WHAT ABOUT WORKING AT DAIRY QUEEN
| | \\
[ ] \\_ FUCKED THAT UP TOO HUH
/|_|\ ( \
//| |\\ \ \
// | | \\ \ \
// |_| \\ \_\
// | | \\
//\ | | /\\
// \ | | / \\
// \ | | / \\
// \|_|/ \\
// [_] \\
// H \\
// H \\
// H \\
// H \\
// H \\
// \\ EP
// \\
%
_|___|___|___|___|___|___|___|___|___|___|___|___|___|___|___|___|___|
___|___|___|___|___|___|___|___|___|___|___|___|___|___|___|___|___|__
_|___|___|___|___|___|___|___|___|___|___|___|___|___|___|___|___|___|
___|___|___|___|___|___|___|___|___|___|___|___|___|___|___|___|___|__
_|___|___|___|___|___|___|___|___|___|___|___|___|___|___|___|___|___|
___|___|___|___|___|___|___|___|___|___|___|___|___|___|___|___|___|__
_|___|___|___|___|___|___|___|___|___|___|___|___|___|___|___|___|___|
___|___|___|___|___|___|___|___|___|___|___|___|___|___|___|___|___|__
_|___|___|___|___|___|___|___|___|___|___|___|___|___|___|___|___|___|
___|___|___|___|___|___|___|___|___|___|___|___|___|___|___|___|___|__
_|___|___|___|___|___|___|___|___|___|___|___|___|___|___|___|___|___|
___|___|___|___|___|___|___|___|___|___|___|___|___|___|___|___|___|__
_|___|___|___|___|___|___|___|___|___|___|___|___|___|___|___|___|___|
___|___|___|___|___|___|___|___|___|___|___|___|___|___|___|___|___|__
_|___|___|___|___|___|___|___|___|___|___|___|___|___|___|___|___|___|
___|___|___|___|___|___|___|___|___|___|___|___|___|___|___|___|___|__
_|___|___|___|___|___|___|___|___|___|___|___|___|___|___|___|___|___|
___|___|___|___|___|___|___|___|___|___|___|___|___|___|___|___|___|__
I'D LIKE TO RETURN MY COPY OF GRAND THEFT AUTO: SAN ANDREAS

BECAUSE I HEAR THERE ARE BOOBIES IN IT AND I CAN'T HAVE THAT
%
_____ /|
.-'@ & #`'-. //
/ % 8 \ // I USE `` AND '' FOR DOUBLE QUOTES
| m () _ | // BECAUSE I MOLEST CHILDREN
\ 0 ( '-._/ //
jgs '-.____'. y
%
_.,_
,-'.' .`-,
;; '. ' `. ;` - _
_,-; ' ; `. ,% .-, - Q: YOU KNOW WHAT'S GREAT
* ,_.,-'` ';; ; : ;%' | | \ ABOUT BOOZE ??????
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`---'////\ / .-, `-`-^--`'^`-...,,| | |.,/
//\)(/ `-\.-. | `-' A: THE BOOZE
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`-._ `-._.-' _.--' |
`-. | _.--'
Petrus `-. | _.--'
`-. | _.--'
`|'
|
SEE IT'S A SEXUALLY EXPLICIT PICTURE WHERE A SEXUAL COUNSELOR IS

TRYING TO HELP COUPLES BUT SHE HERSELF HAS NEVER HAD AN ORGASM
AND FURTHERMORE (CLICK)
%
,__,
_.-----/6 6)
,-' / .='=.
/ _./ /_-._,.. I'M A LEVEL 4 BIOHAZARD
_.-| \.'|,:=._::,,_.
.'_.-'\ |//..= OPEN ME AND RELEASE ME
,'.' / /_:.'.
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%
,
__ _.-"` `'-.
/||\'._ __{}_( DISPATCH, OFFICER NEWHOUSE IS TRYING TO
|||| |'--.__\ SUCK EVERYTHING OFF AGAIN
| L.( ^_\^
\ .-' | _ |
| | )\___/ (THIS IS A DEEPLY OBSCURE JOKE)
| \-'`:._]
jgs \__/; '-.
%
'-.____________________________________________________
.::::::::::::::::::::
.::::::::::::::::::::::
.::::::::::::::::::::::::
.::::::::::::::::::::::::::
| |:::::::::
.| I WAS RAPED BY |:::::::::
.::| THE DUKE LACROSSE |:::::::::
.::::| TEAM !!!!! I MEAN |:::::::::
.::::::| NO I WASN'T (LIE) |:::::::::
.::::::::| __ __ |:::::::::
.::::::::::|__( )_______( )__|:::::::::
::::::::::::::::\ \ ,~~~~./ /:::::::::::::
::::::::::::::::| ;`'`'`'; |::::::::::::::
::::::::::::::::| ;;*( *;; |::::::::::::::
::::::::::::::::| ;; @ ;; |::::::::::::::
:::::::::::::::::\|| ||/:::::::::::::::
::::::::::::::::::( \__/ )::::::::::::::::
:::::::::::::::::::) (:::::::::::::::::
::::::::::::::::::/ \::::::::::::::::
:::::::::::::::::/________\:::::::::::::::
:::::::::::::::::/ /::::\ \:::::::::::::::
::::::::::::::::/ /::::::\ \::::::::::::::
:::::::::::::::/_/::::::::\_\:::::::::::::
:::::::::::::(___)::::::::(___)::::::::smd
%
/\ __
\ .-':::.
\ :::::|\ FROM NOW ON EVERYTHING I EAT IS GOING TO BE SHIT-FREE
|,\:::'/ \
`.:::-' \
`-. \ ___
`-. | .-'';:::.
`-.-' / ',''.;;;\
| ','','.''|
|\ ' ,',' /'
AsH `.`-.___.-;'
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%
. . |
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. |
| | |. |
| . __ |
. ('__`> .
\ /==(o) ______
\ .| `\__/ . |()|::::)=
\________ _____ / /\ /)____||___/__ ,\
.____, `-------' `-------' \ ,'\ |
. \ / , . & , . & , . & , |,' \ |
|`- -'| `/_\' `/_\' `/_\' |) )|, |
|,- -.| ,'|_|`. ,'|_|`. ,'|_|`. |,' ,/ /
' /__\ ` | ' ,
' ` ____________________________________________/ '
/ /
/ /
; ;
I TITLE THIS ONE "BUTTRESSES, FLYING"

%
.-_-.
|(")| I THINK I HAVE HPV OR MAYBE HIV
/~~~/)
/___/ />
( )/
/'--'\ WHICHEVER ONE IS THE FUNNIER ONE
ldb '----'
%
________________________________________________________
/ ____________________________________________________ \
| |<_> <_> <_> <_> <_> <_> <_> <_> <_> <_> <_> <_> <_> | |
| |<_> <_> <_> <_> <_> <_> <_> <_> <_> <_> <_> <_> <_> | |
| |_|___|___|___|___|___|___|___|___|___|___|___|___|__| |
| ____________________________________________________ |
| | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | |
| |<_> <_> <_> <_> <_> <_> <_> <_> <_> <_> <_> <_> <_> | |
| |<_> <_> <_> <_> <_> <_> <_> <_> <_> <_> <_> <_> <_> | |
| |<_> <_> <_> <_> <_> <_> <_> <_> <_> <_> <_> <_> <_> | |
| |<_> <_> <_> <_> <_> <_> <_> <_> <_> <_> <_> <_> <_> | |
| |<_>_<_>_<_>_<_>_<_>_<_>_<_>_<_>_<_>_<_>_<_>_<_>_<_>_| |
\___________________________________________________LGB__/
MY BONER IS STILL INCONSOLABLE

%
.__ .-".
(o\"\ | | FOR I SHAT AND THERE IS NO WATER IN THE PIPES
\_\ | | SO I CANNOT FLUSH (IT'S A HARLAN ELLISON SHORT)
_.---:_ |
("-..-" /
"-.-" /
/ |
"--" AsH
%
_ _______ _
/_\ / \ /_\
=|= / // \ =|=
| |
| | I'M WORRIED ABOUT THE RECENT CONFLICTS
( \ // / o BETWEEN NORTH AND SOUTH KOSAN
__[_]___\_______/___(_)__
(_________________________)
| ___ _|___~___|_ ___ |
||_~_|| .-------. ||_~_||
| ___ | \ / | ___ |
||_~_|| (\_____/) ||_~_||
____| ___ |__|=====|__| ___ |____
|/ \| || || |/ \|lc
| |
%
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: '-' / ; _..--, / ;
: '-._.-' ; ; : : DISHONOR ON YOU,
: ` .' '-._.' : /
\ : / ____....--\ : DISHONOR ON YOUR COW
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| || | : | | :
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fsc
%
IF YOU WERE AN ARCHITECTURAL STRUCTURE
YOU'D BE A BUTTRESS
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&&~ .'-__-'& o< PARTICLE PHYSICS IS JUST A
&&&~`'\`& MASSIVE GROUPTHINK CONSPIRACY
&&&~` _&
&&&&` && WITH DUBYA ITS CHIEF PROPONENT
&&8&&&&
&&&&&&& (WEINBERG THAT IS)
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{ H A P P Y {
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</\> </\>
`<\/> <\/>'
jgs </\>-<\/>_<\/>_<\/>_<\/>_<\/>-</\>
</\> </\> </\> </\> </\>
NOW THERE'S A WOMAN WHO KNOWS HER PLACE
INSIDE A GIANT CAKE

%
('--.,-').,--`)
_Oo C O_o C oO_ SIGNED, SEALED, DELIVERED, I'M HARD
ò--^--o--^--o'
O!o /""\_/""\
%
VOTE FOR EDWARDS YOU FUCKING CUNTS
/
( ) /
( ) (
) _ )
( \_
_(_\ \)__
(____\___)) Krogg98
%
CHECK ME OUT NEW YORKER !!!!! I'M A DISTINGUISHED WIKIPEDIA
CONTRIBUTOR WITH FOUR ADVANCED DEGREES AND HAVE TONS OF HARD-WORKING
STUDENTS AND AM IN MY THIRTIES IN A STABLE GAY RELATIONSHIP AND AM
SO RESPECTED IN THE COMMUNITY THAT I GOT HIRED TO WORK FOR WIKIA,
THE FOR-PROFIT COUSIN TO WIKIPEDIA !!!!!!!
EXCEPT PSYCH !!!!!! NO ACTUALLY I'M A BIG FAT FUCKING LIAR AND I
HAVE NO DEGREES, NO STUDENTS, AM IN MY TWENTIES, AND I'M NOT IN A
LONG-TERM RELATIONSHIP !!!!!!!!!! BUT I STILL AM GAY !!!!!!!!!!
AND ALSO STILL EMPLOYED BY WIKIA FOR SOME FUCKING PUZZLING REASON
IT'S ALMOST AS IF ....... WIKIPEDIA IS A PIECE OF STEAMING SHIT

AND EVERYONE, INCLUDING JIMBO WALES KNOWS IT AND SO WHY BOTHER
PRETENDING ANYMORE
P.S. GO FUCK YOURSELF RUNNING, LIAR
_.---.._
_ _.-' ''-.
.' '-,_.-' '''.
( _ o :
'._ .-' '-._ \ \- ---]
'-.___.-') )..-'
(_/ MJP
(NOTE: NO ACTUAL MANATEES WERE HARMED IN THE CREATION OF THIS FART)

%
______
_\ _~-\___
= = ==(____AA____D
\_____\___________________,-~~~~~~~`-.._
/ o O o o o o O O o o o o o o O o |\_
`~-.__ ___..----.. )
Roland `---~~\___________/------------`````
= ===(_________D
o< THERE'S A GUY WHO SENDS TYPO CORRECTIONS TO ASCII ART FARTS
HE'S BEEN DOING THIS FOR QUITE A WHILE AND AS OF TODAY HE'S
SENT IN A TOTAL OF 93 CORRECTIONS
WHICH PROBABLY IS A GOOD INDICATION THAT MAYBE WE SHOULD

CONSIDER DRINKING A LITTLE LESS
BUT I'D LIKE TO IMPRESS UPON YOU, DEAR READERS, THE GREATER
ISSUE AT HAND THAT IS REVEALED BY THIS NUMBER
93 ?!??!?! HELLO ?!?!?!? UNITED FLIGHT 93 ?!?!?? 9/11 ?!?!?!?!
IT PROVES THAT OUR GOVERNMENT WAS IN ON 9/11 AND SO WAS THIS GUY
WHY HE'S SENDING IN TYPOS TO US RATHER THAN DOING SOMETHING MORE

SINISTER FOR THE UNITED STATES GOVERNMENT I COULDN'T SAY
MAYBE HE'S BEEN DEMOTED ON ACCOUNT OF US SEEING THROUGH THE

CONSPIRACY !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
SIGNED, F*CK B*SH

%
+ . _ .-.
3==({)_ . ( \
+ . _ )`\-| * ) \
. /_`' // |\ .-' `-a:f
. B'/`-'M\_| ) / .
. * // ( / .
B' `-'
ONE SMALL STEP FOR MAN ?????????

MY ASS THAT HURT LIKE HELL
%
OKAY NO TALKING
_.--~~~~~~~--._
/~ ___ ~-._ __
( /~ > /-._ _, o )~\\ MMMMM YEAH BEATING IT OFF
\\ \< ~<<==\(\_| '''
_) ''' \\ `~'
''' OKAY TALKING ALLOWED AGAIN
%
_.._..,_,_
( )
]~,"-.-~~[
.=])' (; ([
| ]:: ' [ FREE AS IN QUEER
'=]): .) ([
PMH |:: ' |
~~----~~
%
____
.-'& '-. PEE: NATURE'S GOLD
/ \
: o o ;
( (_ )
: ;
\ __ /
`-._____.-'
/`"""`\
/ , \
/|/\/\/\ _\
(_|/\/\/\\__)
|_______|
__)_ |_ (__
jgs (_____|_____)
%
__
(__) WELCOME TO DELAWARE
_(_)(_)_
(__)(____) THE THIRTEENTH COLONY
(__)(_)(___)
Krogg
%
_____
_.'_____`._
.'.-' 12 `-.`. SINCE DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME ISN'T FUCKED UP ENOUGH
/,' 11 1 `.\ LET'S KIND OF RANDOMLY CHANGE IT JUST TO
// 10 / 2 \\ MAKE THINGS MORE DIFFICULT
;; / ::
|| 9 ----O 3 ||
:: ;;
\\ 8 4 //
\`. 7 5 ,'/
'.`-.__6__.-'.'
((-._____.-))
_)) ((_
'--'SSt '--'
%
_
|_t+.__________________......_ /;_
;________________/ : \ t""o.\__
:---|------------------t-----^-`--' / RICHARD JENI DIES AT 49
\__L___________________\____________\
""-. o .--. \--'/ l .-t+.
\ ( l) ;"" : /
l `--" o; Y
"""""";: .-. :\
:: '-' ;\ AMERICA SAYS, "WHO"
;; : ;
:: bug ;|
;'-------';
'"------""
%
.####.
.#' `#.
# #
# # I THOUGHT TOTAL RECALL WAS SOME OF
.#. .#. MICHAEL IRONSIDE'S FINEST WORK
/###\ /OOO\
##### OOOOO
VK \###/ \OOO/
`-' `-'
%
_. .'
_.-' / : `-.'.'
.-'-. | / / :
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/,,,,,, =`-..' /
`.____. `-.| WHAT THE FUCK AM I
`. .- `.
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| / \ :
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.' / .' \ |
: / / | |
.-','. : | . \|
.' || = |
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%
_.-._ _.-._
_| | | | | | | |_
| | | | | | | | | | HANDS UP, WHO LIKES
| | | | | | | | | | RIMJOBS ???
| _.-' | _ _ | '-._ |
;_.-'.-'/`/ \`\`-.'-._;
| ' / \ ' |
\ '. / \ .` /
| | jgs | |
%
)\
(_/ THINK ABOUT IT: THIS IS AMNESTY INTERNATIONAL'S
.-#-| |-#-. LOGO BECAUSE A CANDLE WITH BARBED WIRE WOULD
__|__|_.#' REALLY HURT IF IT WERE SHOVED UP YOUR ASS
.' | | .
'#--| |-#' I'M EDGY FOLKS
xemu_|__|
%
,(()). ,;;;;. __ ________ _____ ___
((_ _));'_`'_( _| __ __ __ _| _| _| __ __
() \ /)\ ) / (_|__ _|-_| _(_|(_|(_|__ _|--
((\ O(() \ O / _____(_|(_|_____________(_|_ SSt
LIP-SYNCHING THE WORDS TO "DEAR MR. PRESIDENT" WITH MY

LOWER LIP TREMBLING AND TEARS IN MY EYES
YOU TELL HIM GIRL !!!!!! YEAH THAT'S EXACTLY HOW I FEEL
ALSO SHOW US YOUR TITS YOU STUPID LOSER BITCH

%
_._
,-" T "-. ,.
( _____ ) /</
/ /- | -\ \ ./>/
,. \/| ,'. |\/ /\/
\<\ // \ - / \\/ /` SPLASH THE ZEROES
\>\,(\_____/`---"\__/_//)
\/\ ) ((| ~ |)) (
"\ Y______\\"-"//______\
\/ \\ // \
/ / \\/ ,--. , \
/ / \\([JW])|, \
( `| \\`--" | )
"_ | \\ | _"
"_ \-.__ ||__,-._"
")-.__`----'__,-"
JW / `----' \
/ || |
/ // \
| || \
/ // |
/ //\\ |
| || \\ \
| || || |
|___________|| \\_______\
[___________|] [|_______]
|Y/| /\\/_
(mmn (_((__nm
[___] [_______]
%
.-.
| | WIKIPEDIA IS LIKE A SHIT COVERED PLUNGER
| |
. ||| YOU HOPE YOU NEVER HAVE TO USE IT AND
||| IT DOESN'T EVEN ALWAYS WORK
||| ,` BUT SOMETIMES YOU TRY ANYWAY
|.| `,
`. |.| .` ,` AND YOU SMELL BAD AFTER
,` | | .` ,
`, | | ,`
' |_| ,`
,NNNNN,
iNNNNNNNi
ImmmmmmmI
tQn
%
IF YOU'RE NOT OUTRAGED
YOU'RE NOT PAYING ATTENTION
(TO MY STUPID HIPPIE PROPAGANDA)
_____________
..---:::::::-----------. ::::;;.
.'"""""" ;; \ ":.
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: ;-.______ / _________==. /_ \ ; ; ;;;;
; / | """"""""""".---.""""""" : /" ". |; ; _; ;;;
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:- : """----______ / / ____. . ."'. ;; .-"..T" .
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"------"
%
. | .
\ | /
`. \ ' / .' I'M A SUNGRAZING COMET
`. .-*""*-. .'
"*-._ /.*" "*.\ _.-*"
: <o> <o> ; ____ MEANING I LIFT UP THE SUN'S
""""': .. ; SKIRT TO SEE WHAT'S GOING ON
_.-*" \ `.__.' / "*-._ DOWN THERE
.' `-.__.-' `.
bug .' / . \ `.
/ | \ MAYBE I SHOULD BE CALLED
' | ` PATRICK MCNAUGHTON
%
/| |\
; : : :
| Y, ,P |
| Yb. __ ,dP |
l\ YMMb,_ _,/ \,_ _,dMMP /f
j; `YMMP' `--' `YMMP' ;j AN INVITATION TO VIRB !!!!!!
: \ YP`-._ _.-'YP / ;
\ `\, _,\_ _/,_ ,/' /
`,_, \ò> <o'/ ,_,'
`\ /'
| _ _ | YEAH BECAUSE WHAT WE NEED IS ANOTHER ONE
/ 88b d88 \ OF THESE FUCKING OBNOXIOUS SOCIAL NETWORK
\ `8P Y8' /``-. THINGS
`\, ,/ \
_`----' \
_.'/ ' `, \
.'_,'_..._ \ ; PLUS: BRAZILIANS
.',/.dMMMMMMb. | / \
.'./.MMMMMMMMMMM ; / ;
/ /.MMMMMMMMMMMMM/ / ;
| ;dMMMMMMMMMMMP/' ,/' ;
|/dMMMMMMMMMP' .' |
;dMMMMMMMMM| _/ |
;dMMMMMMMMMMb_|_| /; ;\,
dMMMMMMMMMMMM`M`M`;.---.. ' `\,
:MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMP/' `\ \
/|MMMMMMMMMMMMMMP/ \ __ `.
/ |MMMMMMMMMMMMMM| |.-' `-._ \ .'\
; ;MMMMMMMMMMMMMM| : `-._ `-. / _\
| ;MMMMMMMMMMMMM; | `-. `-.._.'/
\ `\YMMMMMMMMP/'\ | `~~----'
`-._, ``YMMMP'_.-'\ ;_
| / `-.,_./ 7
_/ `\, / _/
,-' , , / _.' / fsc
(_(_(__(__.' ,-' /
(__(__(_(_/'
%
,/ \.
(( ))
\`. ,'/
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,'`/ \,`.
(`-( )-')
\-'\,-'"`-./`-/
\-') (`-/
/`' `'\ FUCK THE YES
( _ _ )
| ( \ / ) |
| `.\ /,' |
| `\ /' |
( )
\ /
\ /
`. ,'
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%
_
/ } T VALERIE PLAME SHOW US YOUR TITS
/'.\
_/ ) (`-
( ,)
|/
/|
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%
__
/ \--..____
\ \ \-----,,,..
\ \ \ \--,,..
\ \ \ \ ,'
\ \ \ \ ``..
\ \ \ \-''
\ \ \__,,--'''
\ \ \.
\ \ ,/ POUR ACID ON OUR BALLS IF YOU MUST, BUT ___________
\ \__..-
\ \
\ \
\ \ :F_P:
\ \
\ \
\ \
\ \
\ \ ...... AND OTHER FAILED REVOLUTIONARY CRIES
\ \
%
,-
,'::|
/::::|
,'::::o\ _..
____........-------,..::?88b ,-' /
_.--"""". . . . . . . . ""`-._ ,-' .;'
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"\""--.:-. `. .:/
\. / `-._ `.""-----.,-..::(--"".\""`. `:\
`P `-._ \ `-:\ `. `:\
"" " `-._) -Seal
BATTLESTAR GALACTICA SEASON 3:
NOT JUST JUMPING THE SHARK, BUT SODOMIZING IT, PERFORMING MOUTH
TO ANAL, DOUBLE PENETRATION, TWO IN EACH HOLE, THREE IN EACH HOLE,
CUTTING IT OPEN AND FUCKING THE WOUND, THEN PUNCHING THE VIEWER
IN THE FACE AND FINALLY GOING BACK IN TIME AND DOING IT ALL OVER AGAIN
%
/`\
/ : |
_.._ | '/
/` \ | / DOES THE TERM "ZIONIST" REFER TO PEOPLE WHO ACTUALLY
| .-._ '-"` ( SAT ALL THE WAY THROUGH THE TWO MATRIX SEQUELS AND
|_/ / o o\ PRETENDED TO LIKE THEM OR WHAT
| = () )=
\ '--`/
/ ---<`
| , \\
| | \\__
/ ; |.__)
(_/.-. ;
{ `| \_/
'-\ / | HOLD ON I HAVE TO FINISH MY COPY OF
| / | "PROTOCOLS OF THE ELDERS OF THE MATRIX"
/ \ '-.
jgs \__|----'
%
+------------------+
| ___ |
| _ (,~ | _ |
| (____/ |____) | IN GERMANY THEY CAPITALIZE ALL THEIR NOUNS BECAUSE
| ||||| ||||| | THEY'RE TOO STUPID TO BE ABLE TO FIND THEM OTHERWISE
| ||||| ||||| |
| |||||\ /||||| |
| |||'//\/\\`||| |
| |' m' /\ `m `| |
| /||\ |
\_ _/
`-----92-KSR-'
%
) ) ) I SEEK *REAL* ALTERNATIVE ENERGY SOURCES !!!!!!!!!!
( ( ( JUST NOT NUCLEAR
) ) )
(~~~~~~~~~) I SEEK *REAL* ALTERNATIVE ENERGY SOURCES !!!!!!!!!!
| --- | JUST NOT NUCLEAR
| |
I _._ I SEEK *REAL* ALTERNATIVE ENERGY SOURCES !!!!!!!!!!
I /' `\ JUST NOT NUCLEAR
I | N |
f | |~~~~~~~~~~~~~~|
.' | ||~~~~~~~~| |
/'______|___||__###___|____| REPEAT UNTIL YOU DIE AND NOTHING GETS DONE
%
___..)--------)-----..___
_.--"""""..--(---""""(""""-)---.. """".---.
'-.__ `"--......_________.....--"` ( \_
"""":---.._______________..---:"" ``"""-.`'-._
'--.._______________..--' `'-._`'-._
`'-._: wkm
HOW ARE YOU DOING FUCKOT
IT'S SHORT FOR "FUCKING FAGGOT"

%
Y\ /Y
| \ _ / |
_____ | =(_)= |
,-~" "~-. ,-~\/^ ^\/~-.
,^ ___ ___ ^. ,^ ___ ___ ^.
/ .^ ^. .^ ^. \ / .^ ^. .^ ^. \
Y l O! l O! Y Y lo ! lo ! Y
l_ `.___.' `.___.' _[ l_ `.___.' `.___.' _[
l^~"-------------"~Î l^~"-------------"~Î
!\, ,/! ! !
\ ~-.,_______,.-~ / \ /
^. .^ ^. .^ -Row
"-.._____.,-" "-.._____.,-"
MS. PAC-MAN TURNS 25 !!!!!!!!
NOW OFFICIALLY A MILF

%
__
/ '\
/ ` )
/ _/
________/ ( RESIST MY ADVANCES !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
/ |
| ' 0 \
( /'\ '
\/ | 0 |
\ |
\ o |
\ '
. `__/
/\----/\
\|----|/
| |Pru
| _ |
| |_)|
| | |
| |
| |
| _ |
| |_ |
| |_ |
| |
| |
| __ |
| / |
| /_ |
| |
| | YOU CAN'T !!!! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH
Pru|____|
'------'
%
| [ | v': : | |_,;c
| ] |/; |, | | [ ( __,/ DEAR AURORA JOLIE,
| ,-'/ ;\ ,< _',\.-._,; | ] | n
| -' / _;'; '=_'-' ,) ,\ | ,; YOUR LINE ABOUT BEING
| ] / \,'__/--,_,-- 'mm'J -"_ ] '-,+_ A VIRGIN ISN'T FOOLING
| / / "''-.,;"---''--'"" \ ] __ "-' ANYBODY
;' [ / : : _c / / ",_,'
| [ | v| , '/ c c \ | ONCE YOU'VE PUT IT IN
\ ] | \ /| : __,-,v;|] . \| YOUR MOUTH AND ASS YOU
[ /"--'/ | (7_ c@ ) )/| PRETTY MUCH LOSE ANY
\ ] ,-"'<': '--, ( /^ | HIGH GROUND YOU MIGHT
| ] / : '| \ | ) | HAVE CLAIMED ACCORDING
| | / | | ;,-;, \ ,)( ]| TO THE LAWS OF GOD AND
| \^ | | : |\ ,' \ / \ [ | MAN
| ? / \_ | /|: | , \ |
| | ('. "--' |:, ; :\ ,\ [|
| ;\~) _ \_) ',_| , | ), \_ :
| |/ [ /""-,_ '-'( /.' | \ | '-_
| [ | | "---,__"'=';=,_ | \ /|\ '"-,__
| ] | : | ""'^.\ | | | \
| [ ]| | : | ] \ \ / _AsH
%
___---___
.-- --.
./ () .-. \.
/ o . ( ) \ AISHA IS ARABIC FOR "MOLESTED AS A CHILD"
/ . '-' \
| () . O . |
| |
| o () |
| .--. O |
| . | | |
\ `.__.' o . /
\ /
`\ o () /' jgs
`--___ ___--'
---
%
__ o
/ |/
_/___|___________
/ _______ __\
_______ / /_o_||__| |
\_\_\_\______________________/___ |
\ \____________|______________
\ || |
\ +_||_+ () () () ____|
\ |
\ _ ,, _ /
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ \_.=" )" "-._____,' ";__________________ /_^^^^^^^^
^^^^ ^^^^ \__|==% ^^
^^ ^^^^^^^^ ^^^^ ^^^ ^^^^^ ^^^^^^^^^^ ^ ^^^^
^^^ ^^^^ Sabian ^^^^^^^^^^^^ ^^^^ ^^ ^^^^^
I GUESS THE BANGBUS IS MOVING UP IN THE WORLD

AND BECOMING A BANGBOAT ?!??!?!?!?
FOLKS THAT'S JUST NOT COST EFFECTIVE
IT SHOULD BE BANG-OIL-STAIN-BEHIND-THE-DUMPSTER-
IN-THE-BACK-OF-THE-SAFEWAY-A-BLOCK-FROM-MY-HOUSE
%
__
.' '\._
\ @ /; __
;::'--':;. _ .' '.
:;:: _.'._ \ @ / I JUST SAW 300
;;.-:/ | \:.'--;
:___......._ '. DUDE IT'S TOTALLY AN ALLEGORY ABOUT WHY I HATE BUSH
{{__..--""-,_'-.:
{{[_ _ _ _ _'--.} SORRY I DIDN'T MEAN ALLEGORY I MEANT SCATTERGORY
{[| | || || | |-.]}
{[\-'-':-::-:-'/ ]} MAN SCATTERGORIES IS A FUN GAME
{[ \ \ _\_/ / ~]}
{{[\ .-' '-./]}} WOW I'D REALLY LIKE SOME PIE RIGHT NOW
{[.:-"'\ /'"-'.]}
{[' __/ \__ :]} HMMM LEMON MERENGUE OR KEY LIME
{[::' _) (_ ' :]}
{{[: : ] [ : :]} WAIT WHAT WAS I TALKING ABOUT
{[: : ( ) :]}}
{{[: : '-' :]}
[ : :_.:';. :]}
{{[_.' _ _ _ '-._]}
{|\\|~|_|_|_|~| ] }
jim{{ '""''~~~""-- _'
''""""""""""""''
. | .
-:--|--:-
' | '
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| |
\ /
/ \
%
________
(_]----[_) WHAT IF I WANT TO *KEEP* MY MESOTHELIOMA
.~ |.''.|
~. |'..'| WHAT THEN CLEVER PERSONAL ATTORNEY LAWYER
`~`----` ldb
%
_
/;)
/;(
>_/ HEY HEY / HO HO
|-|
|-| SHITTY PROTEST CHANTS HAVE GOT TO GO
|-|
|-|
|-|
|-|
|-|
_ |-|
/ \ |-| _
: `'|-| /,\
: ,`'-'`'/|:
\ \ ... ;/
: )... ::
; / ... ::
/ / ___ \\
: `-|||||. \:
: (\`-';
`._________,' SSt
%
|
\ _ /
-= (_) =-
.\/. / \
.\\//o\\ ,\/. | ,~
//o\\|,\/. ,.,., ,\/. ,\//o\\ |\
| |//o\ /###/#\ //o\ /o\\| /| \
^^|^^|^~|^^^|' '|:|^^^|^^^^^|^^|^^^""""""""("~~~~~~~~/_|__\~~~~~~~~~~
.|'' . | '''""'"''. |`===`|'' '"" "" " (" ~~~~ ~ ~======~~ ~~ ~
jgs^^ ^^^ ^ ^^^ ^^^^ ^^^ ^^ ^^ "" """( " ~~~~~~ ~~~~~ ~~~ ~
I'M WAITING FOR OCEAN'S 26 THANKS
%
.,^v,
;;. |---.
;;:; \~/ / I DRAW ASCII ART OF BUTTERFLIES
;;;;'~ ~\/
;;;/ , \ \ AND NAKED WOMEN I'LL NEVER HAVE SEX WITH
`;/ /: _)_)
/ /;' ./____
------/ /-/ -. \----------.
__/ / \ ~-.. \ \
`~ ~~ `--.._ ). \ \
- - - - - - - - : /- \ \ - - - - -.
| / (_ \_ |
/ / ~--~ |
`' `' `' `' `'( \`' `' `' `' `' `'
~._\ \_/
%
|`. I'M A BNF GRAMMAR
|--`
.---___|___.--, PEE IN MY MOUTH AND WATCH ME GARGLE IT AND
`./////// ."" SPIT IT OUT AND ASK FOR MORE
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
cgmm
%
/\_ _ __
__ _ \( ! )/_/ __
\_\( % )>o<})# )/_/
_(%>o<(_!_)>o<#)_
/_/(_% ( | (_#_)/_/
( ! (~>O<~) % ) _ SWEET AVALON THE HEAT IS ON
_({>O<}(_|_)%>O<%)_>
/_/(_!_)# )( (_%_)
_(#>o<#)>o< )_
/_/(_#_)(_|_)\_\
\/ hjw
%
|
-x-
|
v . ._, |_ .,
`-._\/ . \ / |/_ IF EVERYONE
\\ _\, y | \// LICKED A DICK
_\_.___\\, \\/ -.\|| AT THE SAME TIME
`7-,--.`._|| / / , WOULD A TREE
/' `-. `./ / |/_.' IN THE FOREST
| |// HEAR IT
|_ /
|- |
| =|
| | jg
--------------------/ , . \--------._
%
,___, GET OUT OF BED
/(6 6)\_
/\` ' `'\\_ I CAN'T RAPE YOU THROUGH THE BLANKET
\\\_''''|\\\
)\\\\''//||/ OWLS GIVE TERRIBLE HEAD
._,--/////""------
b'ger `
%
. '.'.*. .*.'.' .
*. '. \ \ * * / / .' .*
*._ '. \*88888 88888*/ .' _.*
*._ '-. *8*___~*8*~___*8* .-' _.*
* '--.8.-~` ~-Y-~ `~-.8.--' *
'--.___*/ .----. .----. \*___.--'
* 8| \____/ _ \____/ |8 *
jgs '---.|\ / \ /.---'
||'-----' '-----'
||
|| I DO NOT LOVE RAYMOND (DESPITE THE PHOTOGRAPHS)
||
||
||
||
||
|/
%
_____
/ _)))
/ / 6 6
( ( \ I'D LIKE TO SUGGEST A NEW WIKIPEDIA GUIDELINE FOLKS
/ ,' __=
/ _ ) /_ ) GIVEN ALL THE ATTEMPTS TO DELETE ARTICLES FOR FAMOUS
( /\__~__|( PORNSTARS I THINK THIS ONE'S APPROPRIATE:
/\/__)__) )
( /\ (_ IF I'VE BEAT OFF TO 'EM, THEY'RE NOTABLE, END OF DISCUSSION
\| \__'/ \
:o / \
/\ _/ )
\/ |
| |
| |
) |
/| )
/ |________| I CALL IT WP:FAP
| / \ |
|/ ____\!_______
/ )\
/( '-.\_ ..
/,/ .. . b'ger
%
,odOO"bo,
,dOOOP'dOOOb, DON'T HATE ME BECAUSE I'M BEAUTIFUL
,O3OP'dOO3OO33,
P",ad33O333O3Ob
?833O338333P",d
`88383838P,d38'
`Y8888P,d88P' AND HAVE A FORKED DICK
fL `"?8,8P"'
%
_
_-' "'-,
_-' | d$$b |
_-' | $$$$ |
_-' | Y$$P |
_-'| | |
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-' __-'' __--*__-"`
| _--'' __--*"__-'`
|_--" .--=`"__-||"
| | |\\ ||
| .dUU | | \\ // I GUESS THE MORAL OF THE STORY IS
| UUUU | _|___//
| UUUU | |
| UUUU | |
| UUUU | | DON'T CHEAT ON ME
| UUUU | |
| UUUU | |
| UUP' | |
| ___^-"`
""'
[Matzec]
%
_--._
___-----___ ,' . `-
_,-' `-._ ' '`_ `.
,'. --. ``:::.`. ` ` )
/ `. \_ ) /
)` `._ ` (` `-. ._ __(__,-'_,-'
;m ,' -##, "" "--_: ""
: # ` m ww =(\ ' :\ . XANTHE IS GOING TO OCCULT
| ` (_ ` ` |( IOTA CANCRI ON TUESDAY ?!?!?!
| . ' / `
: ' `-.__ . ) : I SMELL A SITCOM !!!!!!1111
--` oO `-' :: / ;
( ::\ ,##. ' ' ,' /
)_-_\ \ `` /,-' /
``._ ` __,--'--'_,'
`-____ ___,-v rjm
' -----
%
____
_[____]_ I'M GOING TO JOIN THE FIGHT AGAINST LUPUS
( '7')
__)(^_ MY SUGGESTION: LET'S FIGHT IT WITH AIDS
/ ,C^D,\
/ /||:||\\ I'M NO SCIENTISTICIST BUT I'M PRETTY SURE
\ \|/:\|// AIDS COULD KICK LUPUS' ASS
`\\~~~|/
,##\7|\ \ SO MY NEW TREATMENT IS POW !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
|#| \ \ I CURED YOUR LUPUS WITH AIDS
|#| / /
jgs |#|/_/ HERE'S A MENTOS AS A CONSOLATION PRIZE
|#|\ \
(#_\`' NOW GO WHEEZE OVER THERE
%
__________ ,. ,.
,','.___.,',`. `.\ /,' ___________
/ /.____./ / \ \ \\ // ,''..-------..``.
: : : : : : \// :`-..._____...-':
[ |.____.| ] | ] //\ |`-..._____...-'|
| | | | | | // \\ | | | |
[ |.____.| ] | ] // \\ |] | | [|
| | | | | | // \\ | [] [] |
: :.____.: : ; ; // \\ | | ___ | |
\ \.____.\ \ / / // \\ :`-.:._]|[_.:.-';
`.`.____.`.`,' SSt `' SSt `' `-...|SSt|...-'
HERE'S A GREAT GIFT IDEA
IF YOUR FRIEND LIVES IN AN APARTMENT

COMPLEX, BUY HIM A FUCKING DRUM SET
SURELY THAT WILL NOT RESULT IN HIS MURDER

%
,-.
( O )` ~ - . _ . - ~ ` ~ - . _ . - ~ ` ~ -
|`-'| : : : : : : : :
| | : : : : : : : :
`-'` ~ - . _'. - ~ ` ~ - .'_ . - ~ ` ~ -
cww
I'M TOO HARD TO PEE
%
.--------------------
|
| ,-""-. /) DEAR DESIRAE OF NAUGHTY AT HOME:
| / c/-} //
| ( ,--)T-. // NEVER BE SEEN OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOME
| `/ ,_) )\__,-/ EVER AGAIN BY ANY MEANS WHATSOEVER
| / /. \'_,-"<
| / / ) _`).__ THANK YOU
| _/,' ( ""-."-.
|'-/ _/`-----. ),' I WAS LOOKING FOR THE BIG-BOOBED SCORE
|o!O '"-'"""----" MODEL SO YOU FAILED ON EVERY POSSIBLE LEVEL
%
__..--"""""""""""""""""::|
__..--"" _..--"" |
.:______________________.:| | | AFTER FOISTING THE HORRIBLE
| __________ ||| | ()| TRAVESTY THAT IS HUNGARIAN
| __====::::::::::====__||| |() | NOTATION ON AN UNSUSPECTING
||\_____________________||| | | AND INNOCENT WORLD I THINK
||| ||| | | WE SHOULD HAVE JUST LEFT
||| ||| | | CHARLES SIMONYI IN SPACE
||| ||| | | RATHER THAN BRING HIM BACK
|||_____________________||| | | DOWN HERE SO HE CAN DO MORE
|||---------------------||| | | ANNOYING THINGS IN THE NAME
||| :-----------------: ||| | | OF COMPUTER SCIENCE
||| | 32x| ||| | |
||| '"""""""""""""""""' ||| | | "HERE CHARLES CHECK IT OUT
||| o = = o [] [] ||| | | IT'S A NICE LITTLE AIRLOCK
|||---------------------||| | | STEP IN"
|||"""""""""""""""""""""||| | |
||| |==========| ||| | | SORRY I MEAN
||| | o """ ()| ||| | |
|||_____________________||| | | "dHERE pnCHARLES vCHECK pIT lOUT
||/_____________________||| | | pIT'S iA aNICE aLITTLE nAIRLOCK
|| ||| | | vSTEP pIN"
|'. .'|| | |
| '--__ __--' || | |
| """"""""""" || | |
| || | |
| || | |
| |_____| || | |
| (____(| || | |
| | | || | |
| || | |
| || || || | |
| (( (( || | |
| || || || | |
| || | |
| || | |
| .: : : : : : : : . || | ()|
| |: : : : : : : : | || | |
| |':':':':':':':':| || |() |
| | '.'.'.'.'.'.'.'| || | |
| |/""""""""""""""";. || | .'
| : x '. || | .'
| : x: : || | .'
| ." x: ". || :'
|_:____________________:_|:' grp
%
__
/__\ THE FIRST TIME I SAW KELIS WAS ON THE CHRIS ROCK SHOW
\__/
||
||
||
as \__ AND MY ONLY THOUGHT WAS "WHAT IS FUCKING WRONG WITH HER"
\
%
_____ NADINE JANSEN HAS KIND OF BIG BOOBS
|__ " \____..---...-.
\__/ "-.,_..--...-' PASS IT ON !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1
sjw
%
.ad" "\bbmdd/" "ba.
.,d" `"' "b,.
.,ad" "ba,.
,am8888ca8"""""'' ``""""8ac88888ma,
"""""]8a. .a8["""""
"8ba. .ad8"'
`"8bma,. .,amd88"'
`""""""""""""""""""""""'
WHAT DO YOU MEAN MY RESTLESS MOUTH SYNDROME

DOESN'T QUALIFY ME FOR A DISABILITY
%
+-'~`---------------------------------/\--
||"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""" \\\\\\ \/~)
|| \\\\\\ \/_
|~~~~~~~~-________________-_________________\ ~--_
!---------|_________ ------~~~~~(-- )--~~
\ /~~~~\~~\ )--- \_ /(
|| | | \ () \\
\\____/_ / ()\ \\
`~~~~~~~~~-. \ \\
\ \ <($)> \\
\ \ \\
\ \ \\
\ \ \\
\ \ () \|
_\_\__====~~~
JUST THINK THAT IF THE VIRGINIA TECH CAMPUS WERE

A GUN-FREE ZONE THIS TRAGEDY WOULD NEVER HAVE ... OOPS
I THINK THIS WHOLE INCIDENT CLEARLY ILLUSTRATES THE

NEED FOR A COMPREHENSIVE BAN ON THE SALE OF GUNS AND
ALL OTHER POTENTIALLY DANGEROUS MATERIAL TO THE WRONG
KIND OF PEOPLE
BECAUSE AS WE KNOW MOST CRIMES ARE COMMITTED BY PEOPLE

OBEYING THE LAW SO CLEARLY THIS WILL BE EFFECTIVE
%
_/\|\_\_
_| .- \___
________\ / ) oò__________ [nabis]
</ ) _/_ )-.___/
/ /$ (/
| (__`'` '`
'--.) THIS IS CLEARLY HOMOTAIN
%
,%;,
,%%,
______________)(______________
/ (__) \ I THINK BACOS AND
/________________________________\ GREEN OLIVES REPRESENT
[________________________________] A GOOD DINNER DON'T YOU
\ \ / / \ \ / /
\ \/ / \ \/ /
_\/ /________________\ \/_
[_/o/__________________\o\_]
/ /\ \ / /\ \
lc/ \_\ /_/ \_\
%
,
__ _.-"` `'-. EVER BEAT OFF AND THEN SUDDENLY REALIZE
/||\'._ __{}_( THAT YOU'RE IN A STRANGE PARKING LOT
|||| |'--.__\ AND EVERYONE'S STARING AT YOU AND
| L.( ^_\^ THERE ARE THE SOUND OF APPROACHING SIRENS
\ .-' | _ |
| | )\___/ NO ?!?!?!?!
| \-'`:._]
jgs \__/; '-. WELL (COUGH) IT NEVER HAPPENED TO ME EITHER
I WAS JUST ASKING (COUGH) I GOTTA GO
%
_
.--,-"" ""-.
( )
j- __. | A POO POKES
| ' -'|
|`--._____,+-. AND HAVING POKED, MOVES ON
.';`--.___.' `.
.' / _ |
/ ,-' _.-'o;__\
( .' o.-' $`.
`j--..___.' ' / )
(/ _ `-._ `-/`--' ,----.
(.' `--. `. `-._.'`._,-<o ===|
.' \ `. /\`./`. `----'
.' | `' _\,() \
.' ;_) ()___/ \
/ `._____.' | \
\ / =====. \ _ `.
`.____/ / \ __\/() \
.' ( ) ()____/ .'
/ `--- -' |\ .'
`---.___ | `-'
.-`--.________.---'`.
.-' / \ IT'S LIKE OMAR KHAYYAM
/ .' \
/ _.-'\ | BUT WITH POO
| `-.____.-' `. ; .-""-.
| | `. ,' |
\ | \ /
`.___.' `. /
hjw \ .'
`.__.'
%
.---.
/ /"\ \
)/a a$
( ( - ) ) PAGING PAM GRIER'S BOOBS
)_) (_(
.'\ /'.
/,(_\ /_),\
\\ \ ^ / //
\\/ \//
(/-._.-$
| T |
| | |
\ | /
\ | /
jgs )|(
/ | \
`-`-'
%
_.--._
,' `. FAT WHORES COULD BE FUCKED IN AN EMERGENCY
/ __) __` \
( (`-`(-') )
/) \ _ / (
/' )-._.' . \ ___
( ,--., `.)___(___) AN EXAMPLE: NO OTHER WHORES IN SIGHT
)( /-.,--'\ _ \X/`
'/ .'/ \ ( Uu")\
/ / \ `/,-' )
( ^ , ,^ )`._.'
( `. Y .' )
\ `. )\.' / )
)`._.'=='._.' (
/ ) Ojo/VK/FS/ejm
( ."-.
/(` -) / \
( \`-.__ -'_." `
| \`-.__.--"v" |
`.' \ |, ,
/ `._/ :
/ | '
/ /| /
/ | /
%
.-.
(/^\) WHAT THE BATTLESTAR GALACTICA REMAKE
(\ /) REALLY NEEDS IS LESS EVERYONE'S A CYLON
.-'-. AND MORE SOCIALATORS
/(_I_)\
\\) (//
/ \
\ | /
\|/
/|\
\|/
jgs /Y\
%
,
`.-- .,-"" .
._,' . _,. `.
, / .'.oo`.. `. `- .__.-'
:: .; "-()-"`. \.-. /
; /'". ,"`'. "-- "-"
.': : `----' "-" Doida
'
YOUR RED IPOD ONLY SIGNALS YOUR GAYNESS TO OTHERS AROUND
IT'S LIKE A BEACON OF SHAME
AT LEAST IT'S NOT ONE OF THE U2 ONES OR WHATEVER
SINCE THAT WOULD GET YOU BEAT UP OR RAPED OR SOME SHIT
PERHAPS GROUND INTO MULCH

%
___________
_.--^^^ ^^^--._
\`--...___________...--'/ SOME PEOPLE ARE WILLING
/ \_ _ TO DISTRIBUTE THEIR POO
/ (_`,_' ) AROUND CAVALIERLY
/ ) `\
/_____ _ / '. | BUT THAT'S NOT FOR FOR ME
| ^^^^-----------^^^^ | `,
| \,_ `-/ MY POO IS DUAL-USE
| ,&&&&&V TECHNOLOGY AND THUS
| ,&&&&&&&&: STRICTLY REGULATED
| ,&&&&&&&&&&;
| | |&&&&&&&|\
|_____ _| | |_)_
\ ^^^^-----------^^^^ | | ;_/ |
\ '--' `,.--. | LOOSE LIPS SMEAR POOP
fL `---...___________...---' \_ | |--'
`-._\__/
%
,
.--'|}
/ /}} I AM PLEASED
.=\.--'`\} WITH YOUR WANG
//` '---./` GIVE IT HERE
|| /|
\\| |
|\_\\/
\__/\\ IT'S A HAIKU (BUT NOT)
\\
jgs \|
%
_,,,_
.' `'.
/ ____ \ WHAT'S WRONG WITH THE SIDE OF
| .'_ _\/ MIMI ROGER'S MOUTH, ANYWAY
/ ) a a|
/ ( > | ROGER'S, ROGERS', WHATEVER
( ) ._ /
) _/-.__.'`\ SHE KNOWS WHO I'M TALKING ABOUT
( .-'`-. \__ )
`/ `-./ `.
| \ \ \
jgs | \ \ \ \
|\ `. / / \
%
_.--._
\ ** / WHAT IF WE CHANGED THE ACRONYM "WWJD" TO "AWAW"
(<>)
. ) ( .
)\_.._/ /\ \_.._/(
(*_<>_ <NO> _<>_*)
)/ '' \ \/ / '' $
' ) ( '
( )
) (
(<>)
/ ** \
/.-..-.\ "ALL WOMEN ARE WHORES"
MK
%
_
(_)
--""------- 0/ ^^
.___...../ /__| |__\ \_/H__, ^^
\ /
#####^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~\O/~~\Q/~^~^~rr
RYDER AND BIG SMOKE CAN PICK THE CORN OUT OF MY SHIT IN HELL
%
, ,
{\ /} MITT ROMNEY SEEMS LIKE A NICE GUY I SUPPOSE
{~ \ ,__/~}
{~= ;`'_)=} BUT I THINK IT'S ALL AN ACT
`{~,;) \~}
`;/ $=-" IN HIS HEART I BET HE'S A CHEST-CRAPPER
~~( )/`=="
/)) THAT MEANS SOMEONE WHO CRAPS ON PEOPLES' CHESTS
jgs \\\
``" (USUALLY WITHOUT PERMISSION)
%
_________ _________ _________ _________
|A | |A | |A | |A |
|+ * | |O /~\ | |# _ _ | |@ * |
| ! | | / ^ \ | | / ~V~ \ | | / \ |
| *-+-* | | ( <O> ) | | \ Bej / | | /_@_\ |
| | | | \ v / | | \ # / | | ! |
| ~~~ +| | \_/ O| | `.' #| | ~ ~ @|
| V| | V| | V| | V|
~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~
A POKER MOVIE WITH ***DREW BARRYMORE*** ?!?!?!?!?!?
SIGN ME THE FUCK UP (SLASHES WRISTS)

%
._
| THE BEST PART OF THE WEST WING IS WHEN
| BARTLET LOSES THE ABILITY TO WALK
|L___, BUT NOT THE ABILITY TO COMPLAIN
.' '. T
: * :_|
'._.' L
%
.............
.' '.
: '. .' : OKAY I'M A LITTLE SORE FROM CARRYING
: : : : MY NEW CHAIRS INTO THE HOUSE AND
: : : : ASSEMBLING THEM YESTERDAY (SAD BUT TRUE)
: : : :
: : : : THE CHAIRS WERE HEAVIER THAN A BOTTLE,
.' : : '. YOU SEE
_.' :...........: '._
( .' '. ) YOU KNOW WHAT IN RETROSPECT I SHOULD
'._.' '._.' HAVE HIRED AN ILLEGAL ALIEN TO HELP ME
(.....................)
\___________________/ BUT THEN THEY'D JUST STEAL MY IDENTITY
(. . . . . . . . .) AND GO OUT AND ROB AND RAPE PEOPLE
\ /_/ \_\ /
|| || OR AT LEAST WHEN YOU READ IN THE PAPERS
)| |( THAT I DID THAT, PRETEND IT WASN'T ME
lc (_/ \_)
%
( )/
)(/
________________ ( /)
()__)____________))))) hjw
LET'S HAVE AN RSS FEED IN WHICH WE CAN ANNOUNCE

THAT OUR RSS FEED HAS BEEN UPDATED !!!!!!111
I'M USING WEB 2.0 TO BE TOTALLY POINTLESS FOLKS
MAN ALIVE THIS WEB 2.0 STUFF SURE EMPHASIZES THE

USELESSLY RETARDED !!!1111!!!
%
itz -_
`-;-_ ,--.__
`-;-/. ,/\-`. I'LL TAKE WP:IAR TO BLOCK
_//"\\ l'/Y=|
/'-? \\ `;\-|
,' ;/ \\ \|;
./' ;' \\ \(
,-" _;' \\ `
,-'_;-" \
"'
%
_,-/\^---,
;"~~~~~~~~"; _/;; ~~ {0 `---v
;" ::::: :: "\_ _/ ;; ~ _../
;" ;; ;;; \___/:: ;;,'~~~~
;" ;;;;. ;; ;;; :: ,/
/ ;; ;;;______;;;; ;;; ::,/ VOTE GIULIANI
/;;V_;; _-~~~~~~~~~~;_ ;;; ,/
| :/ / ,/ \_ ~~)/ AND CAST YOUR VOTE AGAINST
Targon|:| / /~~~= \;; \~~= FUCKING DISGUSTING FERRETS
;:;{::~~~~~~= \__~~~= ONCE AND FOR ALL
;~~:; ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~
\/~~
%
\____ ___,
__\o___|__ __)____)__
/// =. -)- ))) IF YOU OUTLAW STUPID POLITICAL JOKES
_/ \_c/ \=_/ \__
/= \/ )_/=\
\ ^|\ __((_\_/\
)\ \___ __ /_/-\o____)
_\_\,__o/-\_\ \/ ))__|_
(x_\_:M \/ ,/:_/_s)
\ *\ \ / /o /
\ *\ \ / /o / THEN ONLY OUTLAWS WILL CHOKE
\,/ `) (' \,/ DOWN COCK AND GET AIDS LIKE
/ ( | | ) \ THE LITTLE FAGGOTS THEY ARE
,- <___( )___> -\
-,--(o \| |-.--,-- | |/ o)--,. -
b'ger [_,_(o \__ _/ o)_,_/
\_,___] [___,_/
%
,,==="""""""===,, OKAY
,==""' |\ | /\ `""==, CAN WE STOP IMPORTING
,="'|\ | \| /__\ /\ `"=, CANADIAN ACTORS
/" |,"\ | | /' `\ / ) "\
/" ," | `\/ /| "\ I MEAN DO WE REALLY NOT
/' | , /",| `\ HAVE ENOUGH ACTORS HERE
/' ",/" | `\
/' I=I=I ,d8ba,___ `\
/' I=8=8=8=I_I_ 88888P""" `\
| ~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-,aad888ba,8888,-~-~-~-~-~-~ |
| ~-~-~-~-~-~-,ad888888888888888b-~-~-~-~-~-~ |
\ ~-~-~-~-~,ad8888888888888888888-~-~-~-~-~-~ /
`\ -~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~- /'
`\ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~,-,~~~~~ /'
`\ /"\ 1 9 9 4 \ /\ /'
`\ "\,/' |\ `\ ` /'
"\ /""\ | | |,'\ /" OR AT THE VERY LEAST COULD
`"=,_ \__/ |__ |__ | ,="' CANADIANS LEARN TO DO MORE
`""=,__ __,=""' CONVINCING AMERICAN ACCENTS
NV ``""=========""''
%
_____
_..--'''@ @'''--.._
.' @_/-//-\/>/>'/ @ '.
( @ /_<//<'/----------^-) I'M FULLY DEMURINATED
|'._ @ //|###########|
|~ ''--..@|',|}}}}}}}}}}}|
| ~ ~ |/ |###########|
| ~~ ~ ~|./|{{{{{{{{{{{|
'._ ~ ~ ~ |,/`````````````
jrei ''--.~.|/
%
_ca______
|_________\
88 IF I COULD BE ANY COMPRESSION FORMAT WHAT WOULD YOU BE
88 ___ I'D BE DWC
_88___"8"
|________/ OR MAYBE LZW, COMPRESS, GZIP, BINHEX, BZIP2, ARC, ARJ,
88 8 LZH, SIT, RAR, PAK, OR MAYBE CAB
88 .8.
88 | | ZIP IS FOR LOSERS (AND GIRLS)
88 | |
88 |_|
88
88
sm
%
_.
_.-----'' `\ I'M A SPOKEN WORD ARTIST
__..-----''' `.
< `\. '\ FUCK ME UNTIL WORDS POP OUT
:. `. `\
`:. `. `-.
`:\ N o `. `+.
`:. A s i `. __.===::::;)
. r I `: c ___.__>'::::::a:f/'
C A `. _,===:::=-'-=-"""''
i d t '-/:::''
''
y
%
______________________________________
| |
_.---------|.--. I'D LIKE TWO STACKS OF HIGH |
.-' ` .'/ `` SOCIETY |
.-' .' | /| |
.-' | / `.__// I DON'T KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS |
.-' _.--/ / BUT I HEARD IT SOMEWHERE |
| _ .-' / / AND IT SOUNDS REALLY COOL |
| ._ \ / ` / |
| ` . / ` / |
| \ \ '/ / |
| - \ / /| |
| ' .' / | |
| ' |.'| |
| | | |
| | |______________________________________|
| |.'
| /
VK | /
| /
) /|
.A/`-. / |
AMMMA. `-._ / /
AMMMMMMMMA. `-. / /
AMMMMMMMMMMMMA. `. /
AMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMA.`. /
MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMA.`.
MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMA.`.
MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMA.
MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMA.
MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM
MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMV'
%
.-""""-. MANGOSTEEN JUICE IS GREAT FOR YOU HUH ?!?!?!

|== ==|-. SO AWESOME YOU HAVE TO SELL IT WITH A
|~~ ~~~|`\\ MULTI-LEVEL MARKETING STRATEGY, YOU SAY ?!?!?!?!
|LILILI| ||
| |// HERE'S A NO-BRAINER FOLKS: IF IT WAS REALLY
| |/ A MAGICAL CURE-ALL THEN YOU WOULDN'T HAVE TO TRICK
| | PEOPLE INTO SELLING OR BUYING IT, THERE WOULD BE
jgs __|______|__ A MARKET FOR IT THAT WOULD BE IMPOSSIBLE TO DENY
[____________]
SIGNED, COMMON FUCKING SENSE
%
. .
. * . I DEFTLY FIXED MY PROBLEM BY BACKING OUT
.|. THE CHANGES I MADE WHICH BROKE THINGS !!!!!!!!!!
| .
.-'|`-. |
`-.|.-' .-.
| `._.'
| | *
| | | |__
| | /| [__]
| | / | ||
| | | | ||
| _|_ | | /\ | |
_|_| || || | | |
/\| | || || | | _|_
||| | .-.|| |_|| |
||| | | | || |_
||| | | | || |
||| | | | || |
||| | | | || |
||| | | | || |
||| | | | || | FOLKS I'M A WEBGINEER
||| | | | || |
||| | | | || |
||| | | | || |
|||____|_|___|_____||_____|__________________________jro
%
___
,#####---._
/#####,-'~~~`
|##' ~|
### \ IF YOU TRY TO FUCK AN EMPEROR PENGUIN YOU'LL
,### `. JUST MAKE IT ANGRIER (TRUE STORY)
####. `.
,##### |
###### |
####' |
##'## /
#' \_ /
`-,|'==-
EA /|\
`~`~'
%
mm###########mmm
m####################m OKAY ENOUGH WITH THE PORN STARS WITH
m#####`"#m m###"""'######m THE NAME "SUMMERS"
######*" " " "mm#######
m####" , m"#######m YOUR UNIVERSAL QUOTA IS OFFICIALLY
m#### m*" ,' ; , "########m EXCEEDED
####### m* m |#m ; m ########
|######### mm# |#### #m##########| "CUMMINGS" IS ALSO OFFICIALLY
###########| |######m############ OFF-LIMITS
"##########| |##################"
"######### |## /##############" MESSAGE ENDS
########| # |/ m###########
"####### ###########"
"""""" """""""""
%
//
//
//
//
_______||
,-''' ||`-.
( || )
|`-..._______,..-'|
| || | TO MAKE SURE IT'S HEALTHY
| _______|| | I PUT MILK IN MY WHISKEY
|,-'''_ _ ~ ||`-.|
| ~ / `-.\ ,-'\ ~|
|`-...___/___,..-'|
| `-./-'_ \/_| |
| -' ~~ || -.|
jrei ( ~ ~ ~~ )
`-..._______,..-'
%
.-..-.
.'______`.
VK / /------\ \ THE REASON THE TERRORISTS DON'T LIKE US
`.`.____.' / IS BECAUSE THEY JUST WANT TO GET THEIR
_ ,-.______.' HANDS ON OUR TRISCUITS
_ (,-'__ \
_ (,-' /_/ \
(,-'__ __ __ \
( /_/ /_/ /_/ )
(\ __ ,-'
\ /_/ ,-' ) MMMMM, DELICIOUS TRISCUITS
\ ,-' `-'
`-'
%
..
* * * * * * * * * * $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$ .$$$$.
* * * * * * * * * * $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$. .$$$$$
* * * * * * * * * * ::::::::::::::::::::::::::. .::::::::'
* * * * * * * * * * $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$ $$$$$$$$F
* * * * * * * * * * $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$d$$$$$$$"
::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::;
$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$
$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$
:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::;
^$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$"
^$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$
":::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::"
""$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$P
$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$L
;; ;::::::::::::::::;; ;;:::.
$$$$$$" "" $$$$$;
DS ^$$" $$$$
""
I'M LOOKING FORWARD TO THE TRICENTENNIAL
THAT'S COMING SOON RIGHT

%
DO YOU WANT TO SUCK MY COCK ?!?!?!?!?!?!?
,,,I
;___I BLINK ONCE FOR YES AND TWICE FOR DEFINITELY YES
(o_oI
,,___,---,\=+J,---,___,,
``"""=---.____.---="""'' pb
%
o
I o
o /I H TOUCH ME IN THE MORNING
I/ I______,'_._"_-,-___o__H
I / ,Z .| H /H THEN FUCK OFF
I/____E-_-"k_ P___H/ H
I_________\ /____H
RJ I (=_-*+*" H
%
(
) )
______(____ THE TRUTH IS STRANGER THAN FICTION !!!!!!!!!
(___________)
/ \ ALSO HARDER AND MORE THRUSTY AND MEANER AND
/ \ IT DOESN'T RETURN YOUR CALLS AND WON'T
| | MAKE EYE CONTACT WITH YOU WHILE YOU'RE
____\ /____ BOTH AT THE SAME PARTY
()____'.__ __.'____()
jgs .'` .'```'. `-.
().'` `'.()
%
____
___.--' `-/)
___ __.-----' __.---._//
< `----' _____,---' ___ //
\--.____.--' ___,--' y/
\_ __.-----' __,--//
>`----' _____,---' _//
.'-.____,--',,,,, ___,--n//_
.'.__ __/ \' ___,/(_/
< `----' \ C '\-' .'//
`----.____.---) _| .' //
.'=. (--'/|//
| \)`-\.' __/
\ \ ,' ///
;. ' /// I'M LOOKING FORWARD TO "OCEAN'S THIRTEEN"
| `._,'//
\ //
)===//] SUBTITLED "ISN'T FAMOUS BEING COOL II"
/ |_// |
\_ (/ |
\ |\
\ __ | \
|[__]| \
||__|/ /
\ | /
| |/
/| |
/\| |
/`.|____|
`=.\____/
hjw ) '`--.
`='===='
%
__________________________
__..--/".' '.
__..--"" | | |
/ | | | FIGURES THAT MACS WOULD HAVE
/ | | ___________________ | VIRUSES NAMED "MACARENA"
; | | :__________________/: |
| | | | '.| | NEW MAC VIRUS: "SPICE GIRLS"
| | | | || |
| | | | || | FOLLOWED CLOSELY BY THE
| | | | || | "MENTOS" TROJAN
| | | | || |
| | | | || |
| | | | || |
| | | | || |
| | | |______......-----"\| |
| | | |_______......-----" |
| | | |
| | | |
| | | ____----|
| | |_____.....----|#######|---|
| | |______.....----"""" |
| | | |
|. .. | | , |
|... .... | | (c ----- """ .'
|..... ...... |\|_| ____......------"""|"
|. .... .......| |"""""" |
'... ..... ....| | |
"-._ ..... .| | |
"-._.....| | ___...---"""'
"-._.| | ___...---"""
""""" grp
%
,_
/`/>_ _..--.,-._ _
! ` ` , _)` ``._ ' )
____,/i._\ }_/-`-,`, `---'
'' // ---//-'
/ /' atc
`-
WOW
IT'S AMAZING HOW UP CLOSE A VAGINA LOOKS AN AWFUL LOT LIKE

SOME SORT OF BIZARRE BIOLOGICAL EXPERIMENT GONE HORRIBLY WRONG
%
,__,
_.-----/6 6) I LIKE FECES / BUT I HATE FAECES
,-' / .='=.
/ _./ /_-._,.. HOWEVER FETUS BEATS FOETUS ANY DAY
_.-| \.'|,:=._::,,_.
.'_.-'\ |//..= IN A FIST FIGHT ANYWAY
,'.' / /_:.'.
:: `,.,' : WELL, MORE OF A NUB FIGHT
:: /// ::
:: ,/// :: I GUESS AS A FETUS MYSELF I'M NOT
:: `. / :: FULLY FORMED YET SO I'M NOT REALLY
`:`-./ / _.-'.' QUALIFIED TO HAVE AN OPINION HERE
`-._`---'_.-'
,/ /:---' ANYWAY CARRY ON
`. //
::/ // l42 (BUT FECES IS BETTER)
/ |||
%
___
\\||
,'_,-\
;'____\
|| =\=|
|| - |
,---'._--''-,,---------.--.----_,
/ `-._- _--/,,| ___,,--'--'._<
/-._, `-.__;,,|'
/ ;\ / , ;
/ ,' | _ - ',/, ; T JELENA JENSEN EITHER
( ( | /, ,,; PUT THE DICK IN YOUR MOUTH
\ \ | ',,/,; OR GET OFF THE SET
\ \ | /, / ,;
(| ,^.| / ,, ,/;
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`-._ `-._,,;
jrei |/,,`-._ `-.
|, ,;, ,`-._\
%
_
,---. U
; \ ; EXCUSE ME BUT THE GAMECUBE HAS MANY ADULT-
.==\"/==. `-.___.-' THEMED AND ADULT-ORIENTED GAMES
((+) . .:)
|`.-(o)-.'| OR AT LEAST THAT'S WHAT I LIKE TO TELL MYSELF
jrei \/ \_/ \/ WHILE PLAYING ONE-HANDED
%
.--------. DO YOU HAVE THE DREAM WHERE THE MICHELIN MAN
____/_____|___ \___ SHOWS UP AND SPONTANEOUSLY SELF-REPLICATES INTO
O _ - | _ ,* TWO AND THEN BOTH DO IT AGAIN AND THEY KEEP
Dani '--(_)-------(_)--' DOING IT UNTIL THERE ARE LOTS AND LOTS
AND THEN SUDDENLY THEY ALL START TOUCHING
AND FONDLING YOU ?!?!?!?!?!? THEN RAPE
OR IS THAT JUST MY DREAM

%
_
/ |
|_| _ __ _
| |_( |_____________ _____________|:::|__________________\_'_|___
|` ||=====___________) |___________\___/______________________|(o)||
\__|(o)| ||------------------------------------------------|||
|__|___) || _______________________________ |||
| || |_______________________________| ||)
| ____ __||__()__) /________________________________|||
| / ) ( /___ _/ / | <EE<EE<EE</|<EE |||
| | / \ /| |||*|`) | \(/) ||
| | | | / | | | | / ||
|_| | | `'. | .) | <EE __||
| | `'.___/___|_________________________/
| | \\ \\ )| \ \
|______| \\ // \ \
|======| \\ _// \ \
|======| \\ `` \ \
|======| K.J.W. \\____________\ \
|______| --------------\ \
\ \
\ \
I USE A SMOKE GRENADE FOR DEFENSE !!!!!! \ .'
WHEN BAD GUYS ARE COMING I THROW ONE OUT THERE \ .'`
SO THEY CAN'T SEE US !!!!!!!! (.'`
YES I'M A FUCKING MORON

%
MARGARITAS FOR EVERYONE !!!!!!!
| , . ; .o |
| * o . . |
| @ ' ' |
| () ;: ' |
| , . ; .. | HLUGHBLURHLUB
| * o . . |
| @ ' ' |
| , . ; .o | GLURHLBUHRLUB
| * o . . |
| @ ' ' |
| () ;o ' | HLUGHBLURHLUB
| , . ; :. |
| * 8 . . |
| : ' ' | HALUBHRLUGHLU
| , . ; . |
| * o . . |
| @ ' ' | BLURHALULABHLR
| () ;: : |
| , . ; .. |
| * o . . | HLUGHBLURHLUB
| @ ' ' |
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tQn
%
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IS THERE ANY WAY TO SEPARATE THE TITS FROM THE MOUTH
JUST A THOUGHT
%
,-.__ ._
; `-' )
: (
: ; WHY DOES SARA JAY HAVE A TATTOO
: _; OF THE SYMBOL FOR PLUTO ON HER BACK
,.: '
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( (`-`(-') ) CAN WE ALL STOP TALKING ABOUT ROSIE O'DONNELL
/) \ _ / (
/' )-._.' . \ ___ STARTING .......................... NOW
( ,--., `.)___(___)
)( /-.,--'\ _ \X/`
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%
.--._..--.
___ ( _'-_ -_.'
_.-' `-._| - :- |
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.-' LET'S PROTEST '--..___
/ `._ WITH SIGNS AND CHANTS \
`. `._ AND WASTE OUR TIME |
`. `._ /
'. `._ :__________....-----'
`..`---' |-_ _- |___...----..._
|_....--' `.`.
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_..-' NOT TO MENTION _.'.'
.-' OTHER PEOPLE'S TIME _.'.'
| _.'.'
| __....------'-'
| __...------''' _|
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_.-''''''''''''''''''-._
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.' BUT MOST IMPORTANTLY .' |
`._ MONEY AND RESOURCES |:.'
`._ HAVE BEEN DIVERTED .' |
`..__ | |
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; ; \ ; ; : WHY I SHOULDN'T PLAY WITH
: ; ; : : `. SUPERGLUE WHILE DRINKING
; : ; ; \ , `.
: \ / : \;"-.__\
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%
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NV `""""""""""""""""""""""'
MODELS AND PORNSTARS AND WHORES EVERYWHERE:
THERE IS A SUBTLE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN A SEXY LITTLE POUT

(OF WHICH MEN APPROVE) AND LOOKING LIKE YOU'RE SEVERELY
CONSTIPATED (WHICH IS SLIGHTLY LESS THAN HOT)
PLEASE TAKE NOTE FOR FUTURE REFERENCE
THANKS FOR LISTENING

%
___
/ \
/ O O \
| O | Q: WHO TURNED ROGER EBERT INTO AN EVIL GHOST
, | | ,
\/( )\/
| ) ( |
|( )|
|| | |'
`| | | A: ROB SCHNEIDER
| | |
| /-'
|_.' VK
%
_
, L\ JANINE LINDEMULD--LINDERMINDEN--LINDEBUMMER--
\/OO\ WHAT THE HELL LADY NOBODY CARES WHAT YOUR LAST NAME IS
|/ \
/_\ ` QUITE FRANKLY I WAS ALREADY BORED OF YOU BEFORE I GOT THROUGH
AP _\ |_ YOUR FIRST NAME
AND HEY LET'S FACE IT THAT FUCKED UP TATTOO ALL OVER BODY
TOTALLY DOESN'T MAKE YOU LOOK LIKE THE STUPID USELESS
USED-UP DISGUSTING JIZZ-COVERED WHORE THAT YOU CLEARLY ARE
I MEAN GOOD LUCK WITH YOUR FUTURE ENDEAVORS

%
`)
_ \ IT'S INTERESTING THAT THE LANGUAGE WOMEN SPEAK
(( }/ ,_ WHEN STARRING IN "GAG FACTOR" MOVIES ONLY
)))__ / CONSISTS OF ONE WORD REPEATED OVER AND OVER AGAIN
(((---'
\ '
)|____.---- )
/ \ ` (
/ ' \ ` )
/ ' \ ` /
/ ' _/
/ _!____.-' GARK GARK GARK GARK GARK GARK GARK GARK GARK
/_.-'/ \
ejm |`_ |`_
%
___________ ___________ ___________ ___________
| _______ | | _______ | | _______ | | _______ |
| | ___ | | | | ___ | | | | ___ | | | | ___ | |
| | | _|_| | | | | _|_| | | | | _|_| | | | | _|_| |
| | | | |___| | | | | |___| | | | | |___| | | | | |___|
| | | |_______| | | |_______| | | |_______| | | |_______
__| |___________| |___________| |___________| |_________ CvN
I'M A PAJAMAS MEDIA NETWORK BLOGGER !!!!!!!111111
ALSO I'M BARELY HUMAN

%
__. . <| ____________
\,'.. | __ ,' `.
\ \O \O/ _____ <'__`) )) / \
O/ \O_\OO_O | | ,=------ :o)o)\ | WOULD YOU |
\O/| | || | /| / /######## \._/' ___| LIKE TO |
| |\ |\/|| /###### _,-`.- \ `-. FUCKLE ?!?!? |
/| _ __,--'--__ ,' _,/. : | | |
(Y)-'--__,--' ,' ,' \\._/ / | YES/NO |
__ :=-::-.-' //)' ,-' _/\ )) \ /
,',_.||||||| ,-'""-._ ((\,-'__] `.____________,'
/ (_)|||||||,_. / `-. | |
| o |||||||(_)| ,,-:. / / \
\___,.|(_)||| o | //,-.\\ ( / \ \_,-+-.
(____||-----,.___|,')|(O)| / / \ _) |
`._;-----||____,\ \`-' \`.| / `--' |/ ))
`' `-`-' \ \/ ))
`'
%
.-'''''-.
|'-----'|
/`-.....-`\
| <_} |
| .-\-. |
_,._ | /# ` \ |
__.-` `"""-. | \ / |
..--' `"-. `)_,._ \ '-'-' /
(` )--.-"``` `"-.`'-----'`
'-----------' ( )
jgs `-------------`
I TRIED CUBAN FOOD TODAY !!!!!!!11111

NOT TOO SURPRISINGLY IT TASTES LIKE OPPRESSION
%
__ @@;,
( ; ? : );
_| |_ | | || | | _| |_
| \ \ \/ || \/ ___ / / |
__| |\ __||____||___||______/| |
||| | |_______ _________| | |||
||| |____ | | ____| |||
\ \______ ) | | / ______/ /
|| | | | | | /___| ||
|| | | |_ /| | |\ _| || ||
|| | \__, / | | | \<__/ | || SJN
OKAY ONE MORE GET-COLORED-BLOCKS-ADJACENT-TO-EACH-OTHER-AND-THEY-

DISAPPEAR-BUT-THEN-MORE-BLOCKS-DROP-IN-AND-YOU-WISH-DESPERATELY-
THAT-YOUR-LIFE-WILL-END-TO-STOP-THE-UNENDING-PAIN GAME AND
YOU ALL DIE
IT'S ALMOST AS IF TETRIS-TYPE GAMES WEREN'T ANNOYING ENOUGH

SO OUR SOCIETY HAD TO CREATE AN EVEN MORE PREVALENT AND ANNOYING
SUBGENRE
%
,
/:\
>:<
>:< POCAHONTAS WAS PUSHED
>:<
,,,,,\:/
#########
//////\\\\\
// /_\ /_\ \\
$ 0 _ 0 )/
/\\= _\ =//\
\\/\ --- /\//
//\ '---' /\\
\// \\/
/\\ //\
\\/ \//
# #
jgs " "
%
-="""--.._
""--...._\ ,b:--....---.
|| //'""------"'
_.l+----.//
.&$""' .'"=.. '.
/ | | ) \ DID SINBAD WIKIDIE AGAIN
_.-'@_.' '@_/ |
.' " \
-._,-'^"""^'-, `.
,\""---___ |.. _.--._, \
.-"(,_\_""" _.' ' _,-; '"` `
" """' """' | |__
,+ |-.ò
o'"/| #| oO
Oo"./ (#|
| "|_,
| '|>
\ / ALL THESE WIKIDEATHS (FALSE
`l ,' DEATHS CLAIMED BY WIKIPEDIA,
|,-----||' pjy THE GREATEST SOURCE KNOWN
lj lJ TO MAN) ARE BECOMING A PROBLEM
o@o o@o
" "
%
____
____ , -- - --- -.
((( (( /// // ' \\-\ \ )) ))
/// /// (( _ _ -- \\-- \\\ $
((( == (( -- (( )) )- ) __ )) )))
(( (( -= (( --- ( _ ) --- )) ))
(( __ (( ()((( \\ / /// )) __ )))
\\_ (( __ | | __ ) _ ))
,| | |
`-._____,-'
`--.___,--'
| |
| ||
| || |
, _, | | |
( (( (((( /,| __| | )))) ))) ) ))
(())) __/ ||( ,, ((//\ ) ))))
---------((( ///_.___ _/ ||,,_____,_,,, (|\ \___.....__.. ))------ool
____/ |/______________| \/_/\__
/ \/_/|
/ |___|___|__ || ___
\ |___|___|_ |/\ /__/|
/ | | \/ |__|/
PLEASE REPEAT THE PHRASE "ALTERNATIVE ENERGY SOURCES" OVER AND OVER
AGAIN UNTIL MY HEAD EXPLODES
P.S. WHATEVER YOU DO DON'T MENTION "NUCLEAR" OR ANYTHING JUST KEEP

TALKING AND TALKING
%
_"_ %
(< ?
` " Q: WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR JILL HENNESSY TO BE
__||___ ANY HOTTER THAN SHE ALREADY IS ????
|\___//_\
(' | ') \\
__|\ , / |/
/: / \ ::
\| ######o /|
######## \)
########
\ : / A: YES, BUT ONLY IF SHE HAD A PLAYSTATION 3 IN
\: / HER BELLY AND MAYBE A MINIBAR IN THE SMALL OF HER BACK
--
%%% I MEAN COME ON
%%
% WORK WITH ME PEOPLE, USE YOUR IMAGINATION
/:\
|/|, b'ger
%
__.-.__.-.__
.'\ '-.__.-' /'. I FUCKED A PRETTY GIRL WHO TURNED OUT TO BE UNDER
/ | ,_ | \ 18 EVEN THOUGH SHE SHOWED ME A FAKE ID WHICH
/ | _/| \_ | \ LOOKED LEGITIMATE AND THEN I GOT CONVICTED AND
'-._/ \.-""-./ \_.-' PUT IN PRISON FOR STATUTORY RAPE AND THEN WHILE
| ( ^ \^ ) | IN PRISON I GOT PUNKED OUT FOR BEING A CHILD
| \ == / | MOLESTER AND ALL I GOT WAS THIS LOUSY T-SHIRT
| /'--'\ |
jgs | |
'._ _.'
`""""`
%
______.........--=T=--.........______
. |:|
:-. // /""""""-. LIVE FREE OR HUG ME HARD
': '-._____..--""(""""""()`---.__
/: _..__ '' ":""""'[] |""`\\
': :' `-. _:._ '"""" :
:: '--=:____:.___....-"
O" O" grp
%
__i
|---|
|[_]| I'M WAITING IN LINE TO PUNCH PEOPLE WHO ARE
|:::| WAITING IN LINE TO BE THE FIRST TO BUY AN IPHONE
|:::|
`\ \
\_=_\ jsm
%
______
.==<_\),__)
,o(_/) /| LAW I: A HUMAN MUST NOT WASTE ALCOHOL OR,
///// /___/ | THROUGH INACTION, CAUSE ALCOHOL TO BE
//// ___/ WASTED
// \
/ /-' LAW II: A HUMAN MUST, WHEN REQUESTED, ACQUIRE
/ , / MORE ALCOHOL FOR ITSELF AND OTHERS
( | | EXCEPT WHERE SUCH ORDERS WOULD CONFLICT
\ \ | WITH THE FIRST LAW
) | |
/ / \ / LAW III: A HUMAN MUST DRINK AS MUCH AS POSSIBLE
( / | / AS LONG AS SUCH ENDEAVOR DOES NOT CONFLICT
S-v \/ (/ WITH THE FIRST OR SECOND LAWS
%
____ "VEHICLE-BORNE IMPROVISED EXPLOSIVE DEVICE" ?!?!?!
__/___/______
|_ \__' \"_"\ MORE LIKE "VERY BADLY IMPROVISED EXPLOSIVE DEVICE"
PS `())--,())'-,,'
COME ON YOU ANIMALS SURELY YOU CAN DO BETTER THAN THIS
%
.-""""-
F .-'
F J
I I
L `.
L `-._,
`-.__.-' ##
###
# ####
_____ ## .---#####-...__
.--' `-### .--..-' ###### ""`---....
_____.----. ###`.._____ .' #######
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# `. ``. ######
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.' / ##
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,:' | '
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' |
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JESUS SAVES,
MOSES INVESTS,
AND MOHAMMAD BURNS THROUGH HIS CAPITAL

%
..
* * * * * * * * * * $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$ .$$$$.
* * * * * * * * * * $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$. .$$$$$
* * * * * * * * * * ::::::::::::::::::::::::::. .::::::::'
* * * * * * * * * * $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$ $$$$$$$$F
* * * * * * * * * * $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$d$$$$$$$"
::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::;
$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$
$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$
:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::;
^$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$"
^$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$
":::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::"
""$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$P E PLURIBUS UNUM,
$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$L MOTHERFUCKERS
;; ;::::::::::::::::;; ;;:::.
$$$$$$" "" $$$$$;
DS ^$$" $$$$
""
%
__..--"""""""""""""""""::|
__..--"" _..--"" |
.:______________________.:| | | EVOCARE
| __________ ||| | ()|
| __====::::::::::====__||| |() |
||\_____________________||| | |
||| ||| | |
||| ||| | |
||| ||| | |
|||_____________________||| | |
|||---------------------||| | |
||| :-----------------: ||| | |
||| | 32x| ||| | |
||| '"""""""""""""""""' ||| | |
||| o = = o [] [] ||| | |
|||---------------------||| | |
|||"""""""""""""""""""""||| | |
||| |==========| ||| | |
||| | o """ ()| ||| | |
|||_____________________||| | |
||/_____________________||| | |
|| ||| | |
|'. .'|| | |
| '--__ __--' || | |
| """"""""""" || | |
| || | |
| || | |
| |_____| || | |
| (____(| || | |
| | | || | |
| || | |
| || || || | |
| (( (( || | |
| || || || | |
| || | |
| || | |
| .: : : : : : : : . || | ()|
| |: : : : : : : : | || | |
| |':':':':':':':':| || |() |
| | '.'.'.'.'.'.'.'| || | |
| |/""""""""""""""";. || | .'
| : x '. || | .'
| : x: : || | .'
| ." x: ". || :'
|_:____________________:_|:' grp
%
( " )
( _ *
* ( / ___
" " _/ / WHY OF COURSE WICCA IS A REAL RELIGION
( * ) ___/ |
) " _ o)'-./__ IT'S JUST LIKE CHRISTIANITY OR THE
* _ ) (_, . $$$ ONE WITH THE SUICIDE BOMBERS OR
( ) __ __ 7_ $$$$ THE ONE WITH BLUE DUDES WITH FOUR ARMS
( : { _) '--- $\ OR THE ONE WITH THE CRAZY SALAMANDERS
______'___//__\ ____, \
) ( \_/ _____\_
.' \ \------''.
|=' '=| | )
| | | . _/ WELL I GUESS I'M NOT REALLY SURE
\ (. ) , / /__I_____\ WHERE I'M GOING WITH THIS ONE
snd '._/_)_(\__.' (__,(__,_] SO I'LL JUST STOP HERE
@---()_.'---@
%
//
//
// I ENJOY A NICE GLASS OF CRANGRAPE
//
_______||
,-''' ||`-.
( || )
|`-..._______,..-'|
| || |
| _______|| |
|,-'''_ _ ~ ||`-.|
| ~ / `-.\ ,-'\ ~|
|`-...___/___,..-'|
| `-./-'_ \/_| | BECAUSE YOU CAN'T HIDE THE RAPE IN THAT WORD
| -' ~~ || -.|
jrei ( ~ ~ ~~ )
`-..._______,..-'
%
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)/
`' OKAY NO I REALLY DON'T AT ALL
%
_,--', _._.--._____
.--.--';_'-.', ";_ _.,-'
.'--'. _.' {`'-;_ .-.>.' MORE LIKE ATLAS *DRUGGED*
'-:_ ) / `' '=. AM I RIGHT FOLKS ?!?!?!?!?
) > {_/, /~)
snd |/ `^ .'
WHY IS IT LIBERTARIANISM IS FAIRLY REASONABLE IN PRINCIPLE

BUT ANYONE WHO PROUDLY IDENTIFIES THEMSELVES AS A LIBERTARIAN
IS INVARIABLY A CRAZY SHITCOCK FUCKWAD ?!??!!??!?!??!?!?!
%
/ \ I WONDER IF THE MOVIE "CRACK ADDICT"
( Y ) IS ABOUT WHAT I THINK IT'S ABOUT
\ | /
%
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_\ `. .' | WATCH OUT THE GAY CANADA MOOSE
,'"`\ `-.___.-' \ \ IS GOING TO HOLD YOU DOWN AND
/ \ ; '. MAKE YOU DRINK MOLSON BEER
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P___/
LZ |
/`/'\
.,--,. \___/ IS IT OK WITH THE STATE OF TENNESSEE
... ,' __ ', _ IF I EAT MY LAST MEAL FROM
||| / /' `\ A H | JENNIFER HUSTON'S BUTT ???
S / M | | S A_|
U Y \ / S R|
C ', `--' ,' D|
K '~--~' ER kth
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jgs /`"""""`\ JUNE: LIKE A ZUNE, BUT KOSHER
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( `'.\ /.'` ) STEP ONE: EAT A SHIT
'-._.(;;;)._.-'
.-' ,`"`, '-. STEP TWO: KEEP EATING THAT SHIT MOTHERFUCKER
(__.-'/ \'-.__)/)_
\ /\ / / ) STEP THREE: NOW YOU EAT SHIT
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CHECK OUT MY NEW ALBUM COVER DUDES !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
EVEN MY MOTHER COULDN'T PRETEND TO APPRECIATE MY ART
.'
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%
*
* | *
* * * * * \|/ *
* * * \|O|/ * * * * * * \|O|/ * * *
\o\o\o|O|o/o/o/ \o\o\o|O|o/o/o/
(<><><>O<><><>) (<><><>O<><><>) lc
'=============' '==========='
LET'S HOLD A BLOGGER GATHERING
I'LL CALL IT A BLATHERING

%
_______
/\ o o o\
/o \ o o o\_______
< >------> o /| I THINK THE WORD "NAZI" COMES FROM THE SAME
\ o/ o /_____/o| ROOT WORD AS "YAHTZEE" SO THAT'S WHY I NEVER
\/______/ |oo| PLAY THAT GAME (EVEN WHILE GOOSESTEPPING)
| o |o/
RSB |_______|/
%
__)),
//_ _)
( "\"
\_-/ IF I USE THE WORD "WHITHER"
,---/ '---. DOES THAT MAKE ME:
/ - - \
/ \_. _|__,/ \ [ ] GAY
/ )\ )\_ \
/ _/ ( ' ) / / OR
/ | (_____) | /
/,' / \/ /, [ ] VERY GAY
_/(_ ( ._, )-'
`--,/ |____|__| DON'T THINK JUST ANSWER
| ) |
| / |
| / \ |
/ `| | _)
| | | | WRONG
| / \ |
| | \ | THE CORRECT ANSWER IS: I CANNOT PICK ONE
| \ | \_ OF THOSE TWO CHOICES BECAUSE THE CORRECT
gnv /__( '-._`, ANSWER IS CLEARLY "WAY FUCKING HOMO GAY"
%
\ /
\ / EVER RIP A NICE JUICY FART AND SEVERAL HOURS LATER
| . | DISCOVER THAT IT WAS MUCH MORE THAN JUST A FART
|----------|
|--. .--| WAIT YOU MEAN GROWN MEN DON'T SHIT THEIR PANTS
| \__/ | REGULARLY ?!?!?!?
| || |
| || | OH
_|__ || __|_
( '-++-' ) WELL IT WAS JUST A HYPOTHETICAL
( - .. . )
( _ -/\ . - ) DON'T LOOK AT ME THAT WAY
(. _ )( __ )
(____)(____)
.----` || '----.
(_________)(____rs___)
%
__i
|---| YOU USED TO BE ABLE TO TELL WHEN PEOPLE WERE BATSHIT
|[_]| BECAUSE THEY'D BE TALKING TO THEMSELVES IN PUBLIC
|:::|
|:::| NOW WITH CELL PHONES THIS DETECTION METHOD NO LONGER WORKS
`\ \ SO LET ME SUGGEST A NEW METHOD: RED-HOT POKERS
jsm \_=_\
%
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____...-` \ /``'-..
`~-..`(.-~~~| / `-.
: : ,``. .<____/ `:_ TURTLENECKS PROVE PEDOPHILIA
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____/ |/______________| \/_/\__
/ \/_/|
/ |___|___|__ || ___
\ |___|___|_ |/\ /__/|
/ | | \/ |__|/
IT'S NO ACCIDENT THAT NOBODY BOTHERS

DEFENDING TEHRAN WHEN PLAYING DEFCON
%
,-----.
/' `\
; ----,---- ; ME TAKING A DUMP ON YOUR CHEST IS COMPLETELY
| ò- |ò- | GREEN-FRIENDLY AND CARBON-NEUTRAL
| |_ |
| _____, | GO AHEAD, SMEAR IT AROUND, IT'S GOOD FOR YOU
\_ _/
| `-----' | YOU FUCKING FAGGOTS
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\ | | __|--'|`--|__ | | /
| | | __|--'|`--|__pb | | |
%
~ ~
( o )o) IT'S NOT A GOOD SIGN THAT YOUR DAY IS GOING WELL
( o )o )o) WHEN THE HANDLE ON YOUR 12-PACK OF NEWCASTLE BREAKS,
(o( ~~~~~~~~o CAUSING THE LOSS OF TWO SOULS (BOTTLES)
( )' ~~~~~~~'
( )|) |-.
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%
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(/^\) MY FETISH IS GIRLS WHO WILL HAVE SEX WITH ME
(\ /)
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\|/ BIZARRE I KNOW
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,"f _,==. ._:' LESS ABOUT HER TWAT AND
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__ _
.-.' `; `-._ __ _
(_, .-:' `; `-._
,'o"( (_, ) DRUNK-PUNCHED LOVE
(__,-' ,'o"( )>
( (__,-' )
`-'._.--._( )
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||| |||
%
__ __ __
|==| |==| |==|
__|__|__|__|__|__|_
__|___________________|___
__|__[]__[]__[]__[]__[]__[]__|___
|............................o.../
\.............................../
hjw_,~')_,~')_,~')_,~')_,~')_,~')_,~')/,~')_
LOOSE DICKS SLAP TITS

%
.-.
/ /
/. /
) /c\/ IN 2008 I'M VOTING FOR WINSTON CHURCHILL
( /'\/
) / /
( / / WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU MEAN I CAN'T
) / / I THOUGHT THIS WAS A DEMOCRACY
( /. /
.`.'.Pru
`'``
%
__ __ WIKIPEDIA: LIKE NOMIC
__\_\___ ___/_/__ BUT WITH ADDED LIBEL !!!!!!!
/_______ \___ ___/\_______\
\_\ \/__/\_____/\__\/ /_/
\/_____\/ __
\o | o/_____ ________________/\_\
\ | /_______\_______________\/
\_/ / b'ger |
/\ _ |
/ /\_________/ |__|
/ / / /
/_/ /_/
\ \ \ \
\ \ \_\
\_\ /_/
/_/ |_|
%
!
||
!|
| \ _
| \ /~ ~\
\ \_ /<- ->\ TODAY IS THE DAY THE GAY DIED
\ \_\.O.|\\
\ ' /__"
| \
\ ' . \ \
\ /) >
\ , | /
| \__/ <
> /o |)
/ T /
/ | / (FINALLY, OF AIDS)
/ | . /
\/ \/ \
\ \ \
\ \ \
\ > \
/^ / ^\
^^^~ ~~~mOm
%
_.-,
/.\_"'.
) /.\ / THE TWO COREYS:
(__)\/ |
'- / FAGGOT ONE AND FAGGOT TWO
|, \ /
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'-"\. . )
| |/
c \
|" AsH
%
____
_.-'78o `"`--._
,o888o. .o888o, ''-.
,88888P `78888P..______.] I LIKE TO LET DEFCON RUN IN ROLLING DEMO MODE
/_..__..----"" __.' AND BEAT OFF AS HUNDREDS OF MILLIONS DIE
`-._ /""| _..-''
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.:______________________.:| | |
| __________ ||| | ()|
| __====::::::::::====__||| |() | I NAME MY CATS AFTER UNIX
||\_____________________||| | | SHELL TOOLS TO TRY TO PROVE
||| ||| | | TO OTHERS THAT I'M COOL
||| ||| | |
||| ||| | |
|||_____________________||| | |
|||---------------------||| | |
||| :-----------------: ||| | |
||| | 32x| ||| | |
||| '"""""""""""""""""' ||| | |
||| o = = o [] [] ||| | |
|||---------------------||| | |
|||"""""""""""""""""""""||| | |
||| |==========| ||| | |
||| | o """ ()| ||| | |
|||_____________________||| | |
||/_____________________||| | |
|| ||| | |
|'. .'|| | |
| '--__ __--' || | |
| """"""""""" || | |
| || | |
| || | |
| |_____| || | |
| (____(| || | |
| | | || | |
| || | |
| || || || | |
| (( (( || | |
| || || || | |
| || | |
| || | |
| .: : : : : : : : . || | ()|
| |: : : : : : : : | || | | NOTE: IT DOESN'T WORK
| |':':':':':':':':| || |() |
| | '.'.'.'.'.'.'.'| || | |
| |/""""""""""""""";. || | .'
| : x '. || | .'
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|_:____________________:_|:' grp
%
I'M GOING TO GO ON A HUNGER STRIKE .-'''''-.
|'-----'|
BECAUSE, REGARDLESS OF MY CAUSE, /`-.....-`\
I AM A BIG FUCKING MORON | <_} |
| .-\-. |
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/ \ 77 \ |
/_.----\\__,-----. I THINK I MIGHT BE PEQUOT TOO
<--(\_|_____<__|_____/
\ ''''/| ``/```
`. / | I| CAN I HAVE A BIG LOAD OF CASH THAT
`./ |____I| I DON'T DESERVE AND DIDN'T EARN ALSO
!!!!!!!
| | I |
| | I |
\ \ I |
| | I |
_|_|_I_|
/__/____| hjw
%
_.-"""-._ _.-"""-._
/ (#\ \_/ (#\ \ FOLKS IT'S H2O AND CO2, NOT H20 AND C02
: \#) |NNn. \#) :
\ /N(#\N\ /
"-.___.-nNNN\#)N|_.-"
\NNNNNNNNN/ GET IT FUCKING RIGHT OR STOP WRITING
"*NNNNN*" ANYTHING EVER AGAIN
"
%
/ \
( Y ) A CRAZY LADY SLICED OPEN MY BOTTOM AND TOOK MY POO !!!!!!!
\ | /
%
oo`'._..---.___..-
(_,-. ,..'` A FOOLISH CONSISTENCY IS THE HOBGOBLIN
`'. ; THAT LIVES DOWN IN MY BASEMENT AND MAKES
: :` RATTLING NOISES LATE AT NIGHT
jrei _;_;
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,@@@@@@@@@,
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@ TO CELEBRATE THE DAWN OF THE AGE
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@ OF AQUARIUS I WILL JERK OFF
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/--.( OKAY I THINK THIS IS SUPPOSED TO BE AN ASCII ART PICTURE
/ . \ OF A FIREMAN OF SOME SORT ALTHOUGH I THINK THE ARTISTIC
> ) : SIMILARITY IS QUESTIONABLE AT BEST
|\ .\ T
`.\ ` Y
: \ !. Ojo
/--.( BUT WHEN ONLY LOOKING AT THE LOWER HALF IT TOTALLY LOOKS
/ . \ LIKE SOMEONE'S BUTT HALF-TURNED AWAY FROM YOU
> ) :
|\ .\ T AM I RIGHT FOLKS ?!?!?!??!!?!?!?!?!?! WRITE BACK
`.\ ` Y
: \ !. Ojo+tQn
%
_
/ } I WOULD LIKE TO KNOW THE NAME OF THE ASSHOLE
/'.\ WHO KEEPS POSTING PICTURES OF BECKY SUNSHINE
_/ ) (`-
( ,)
|/
/|
Elb ' `
%
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EEEK!! A FIRE EXTINGUISHER!!! GRABBING IT AND

PRETENDING TO WRESTLE AND SAYING DOWN BOY AND
THEN BETWEEN MY LEGS AND HOSING THE CROWD
%
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)/ DEAR JOSE PADILLA
`'
HAVE FUN IN PRISON
HOPE YOU LIKE THE RAPE
SIGNED, 300 MILLION PEOPLE

%
_ _
,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, \ /
/ ( ( ( ( ( ( ( ( \ [ = =] IT'S ALL FUN AND GAMES UNTIL
< ( ( ( ( ( ( ( ( / { ^ } SOMEBODY LICKS A DICK
\ (__(__(__(__(__(__(__(__) ~
^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^
-cfbd-
%
\/'
\/'
_/' AM I ONLY THE ONE WHO THINKS
(,;) THAT CARROT TOP IS TERRIFYING
(,.)
(,/
RR |/
%
____
/^\ / -- )
/ | \ (____/
/ | | \ / /
/_|_|_|_/ /
| / /
__ __ __ | / /__ __ __
[ ]__[ ]__[ ]. / /[ ]__[ ]__[ ]
|__ ____/ /___ __|
| / .------ ) |
| / / / | I'M A SANDY LITTLE BUTTHOLE
| / / / |
~~~~~~~~~~~~-----------~~~~~~~~ldb~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
%
_,--"^"--._
,'\ /`. F12 E30 V20 KHI2 / 12{5} / {5,3} / 3 | 2 5
,' \_______/ `.
| / \ | OKAY YOU'VE GOT TO BE A LITTLE IMPRESSED
| / \ | WITH AN ASCII ARTIST WHO KNOWS WHAT THE FUCK
| _/ \_ | A DODECAHEDRON IS
\'' `-. ,-' ``/
\ `-._,-' / THOUGH I HAVE TO SAY THE CHOSEN VIEWING
\ | / ANGLE IS RATHER UNINSPIRED AND PEDESTRIAN
`-.._ | _,,-'
hjm ``"''
%
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,-'.' .`-,
;; '. ' `. ;` - _
_,-; ' ; `. ,% .-, - MY AGORAPHOBIA LASTS
,_.,-'` ';; ; : ;%' | | \ ONLY AS LONG AS THE BEER
___ _._,-`'\ `'-`' _.,' `. )
__,--`-,,`' ,._,.-`-., _.,-.--.-,`''` | _| |__
`---'////\ / .-, `-`-^--`'^`-...,,| | |.,/
//\)(/ `-\.-. | `-'
( .-; | | ,.
`-~ ~~-. `._.' ,/ /
`~ ~~~ ~~ /,.`)
// /
/_ `/
( `/
mic `-'
%
".----'`v'`----." I HAVE PISS-IN-MOUTH DISEASE
\`----._.----'/
hjw `.--.___.--.' OR MAYBE "HJW" DOES, WHOEVER THAT IS
`-.___.-'
I'M NOT REALLY SURE ABOUT ANYTHING ANYMORE
%
-------------------------------------------------------------------------,
[] [] [] [] [] [] [] [] [] [] [] [] [] [] [] [] [] [] [] [] [] [] [] [] [
-----------------------------------------------------------------------/
\|/ | O - ^^ | | _ _ |
--O--|/ \ O ^^ | ^^ ||||| | ___ ( ) ( ) _/
/\ /|\ | --|-- | ^^ |O=O| |_ __/_|_\,_|___|___/
/ \/\ |~~~~~~~~~~~|~~~~~~| ( - ) | `-O---O-' |
/\ \/\_| / \ | .-~~~-. | -- -- -- -- -- /
/ /\ \ | ' ` | //| o |\\ |______________ |
--------------------------------------------------------------_/
[] [] [] [] [] [] [] [] [] [] [] [] [] [] [] [] [] [] [] [] ['
------------------------------------------------------------' OTMK
THANK GOD !!!! ANOTHER WOODY ALLEN MOVIE !!!!!

BECAUSE FOR FUCK'S SAKE THAT'S WHAT THIS PLANET NEEDS
%
__ __
__ [_|]'_|] __
[_|].-'-_-_'-._]
_.'.'-.-'' '-.-'__ I'LL BET CATHERINE WHEEL
[_|]-.'. ' ' .'.-_] ISN'T EVEN A REAL GIRL
_/ /_/ '.'. ' ' . .' -_
[_|]_' '.'_'_. .' '._]
|_|_| = = (.-_o) = = :-_'
[_|] _ .//\/_\. .-_]
\_\_\ .'//_//_\\'. .-.
[_|]_`./.-/.-.-.\_'-_]
'.'.-'-//__.\.\\.'
[_|]-/.-_ .-[_\\
// // [_|] \.\\
_____//_//_________\.\\_____ mic
%
.__ .-".
(o\"\ | | MIDNIGHT PISTACHIO BINGE PLUS
\_\ | | MORNING DOUBLE ESPRESSO
_.---:_ | EQUALS MODERN ART
("-..-" /
"-.-" / FILM AT 11:00 (MORE TO FOLLOW)
/ |
"--" AsH
%
_ I WOULD LIKE TO KNOW WHY DAVID LETTERMAN IS NOT DEAD YET
______,' `._______ _______
(______( }___,,__) .';-.;',`.;';.`=|_______)
.' ,' //
' \ // I WANT A RESPONSE WITH DETAILED REASONS FROM GOD BECAUSE
' `'/ HE IS SERIOUSLY MISSING OUT ON GOOD CANNON FODDER HERE
DR ----`-------~----
%
)
) __ (
__ (~( __
(~( \O\ )~)
HOW DID MATT DRUDGE )O) )_) (O(
FIND $35 TO (_(__ ( )_) )
REGISTER A DOMAIN )~)__ __
WITH /O/ )~) ) (~(
(_( (O( __ \O\
) )_)(~( \_\
__ )O) (
_ (~( __(_( __
,-----' | _ \O\<'~_`) ) )~)
| // : | -' )_))^ \\ __(O(
| // : | --- >__;` (~( )_)
| // : | -._ /\_\ \O\
`-----._| __ /__( \| )_)
_/___\_ //)_`/( (| ||]
_____[_______]_[~~-_ (.L)O) ||
[____________________]' (_(,/(~(
||| / )~) ,___,'./\O\
||| \ (O(|,'______|( )_)
||| / )_) I==|| __
||| \ __/_|| __||__)~)
-----||-/------`-._/||-o-_o__(O(-- __
~~~~~' ____ __ /_O_/.\_\ \~\
\_O_\ /~/__/_/O`.o. \O\
____ /O/_\_O/_/ `.' . \_\
Ool /_O_/ /_/\_O_\ \O\ ,o,'
\_\ `.'
%
___---___
.-- --.
./ () .-. \.
/ o . ( ) \
/ . '-' \ OH GOD OH GOD
| () . O . |
| |
| o () |
| .--. O |
| . | | |
\ `.__.' o . / WHO STEPPED ON THE MOON
\ /
`\ o () /' jgs
`--___ ___--'
---
%
POOR OWEN WILSON !!!!!!!!!111111111
emmmmmm~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~\
""""""|_____ ) I'M RICH AND FAMOUS AND WELL-LIKED
Elijah """""""""--------""" AND FUNNY AND GET GIRLS !!!! BOO-HOO
NOW IF WE CAN ONLY GET BEN AFFLECK

TO FOLLOW SUIT WE'RE IN BUSINESS
%
_.--"""""""--._
___ _.-'-""-. .---.`-. ___
\ | .' /____/\\ /.-.-.\ `-. | /
\ \ .' (-)=(-) ) /(-)=(-)\ `. / /
\ \ .' |_/"\_/| /.`\ o /`.\ `. / /
\ \ .' (]___)/ \__/`-'\__/ `. / /
\ \ :__________/)___/\__/_________\_________: / /
\ \.' `./ /
\` _____________ `/
' \/ \/ `
' `-------------' `.
/\ ./\
| |. __...---"""""""""""""---...__ .'| |
\/ `. _.-'=.-.=====================.-.=`-._ .' \/
\ `.===: :===================: :===.' /
\ `-.=`-'=====================`-'=.-' /
`-._____`-._______________________.-'______.-' jro
WHEN I YAWN IT MAKES ME LESS TIRED
FOR A MOMENT
%
u" u$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$u "u I BEAT OFF TO STOP SIGNS
u" u$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$u "u
u" u$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$u "u
u" u$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$u "u
u" u$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$u "u
$ $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$ $
$ $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$ $
$ $$$" ... "$... ...$" ... "$$$ ... "$$$ $
$ $$$u `"$$$$$$$ $$$ $$$$$ $$ $$$ $$$ $
$ $$$$$$uu "$$$$ $$$ $$$$$ $$ """ u$$$ $
$ $$$""$$$ $$$$ $$$u "$$$" u$$ $$$$$$$$ $
$ $$$$....,$$$$$..$$$$$....,$$$$..$$$$$$$$ $
$ $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$ $
"u "$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$" u"
"u "$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$" u"
"u "$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$" u"
"u "$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$" u"
"u "$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$" u"
"u """""""""""""""""" u"
""""""""""""""""""""
%
_ SO HELP ME GOD IF POWER COMPANIES AND NEWS
( ) AGENCIES CAN'T START LEARNING THE DIFFERENCE
(` `. BETWEEN MEGAWATTS AND MEGAWATT-HOURS THEN
, )_ I WILL KILL AGAIN
( ). _
(:' ) ( )
_(' )'`. (` )
(' _ )_ _`; .;)
.=(`( . ) .- ( )
_.:( ) ) _( ) `: )_`,
(( (..__.:,-_ .+( ) ( _.:'
`) ) ( ). '( )_
`( ) ) '-, ( . )
'`. : ; ) ; : ) I MEAN KILL FOR THE FIRST TIME
` __.:' )_- '-' ( ( ))
( ( . ) ) ; ` ) FOR THE FIRST TIME, YEAH
;_,_`- ' | _'/ `- __.'
( ( ) | | WAIT WAS THAT RECORDING
_> _ - _-; <' | | GIVE ME THAT TAPE
(___________`) | |
|````````````| | |
\``````````/ | |
) ( | |
/ \ | |
| _ | | | _
/ / \ \ | | _\\/\
| _|'-_|___| |__| \/\\'
_,;'`-._ _ _ ;`-.,_._.' `;,.___,.-.___,._/_7__
,mic - - - _- - _-
%
_
,' '.
/ \
^ | _ | ^
| || / \ || |
| |||.-.||| | LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, I PRESENT
| ||| ||| |
| ||| ||| |
| ||| ||| |
| ||| ||| |
| ,' '. | THE BANG SPACE SHUTTLE
,'__ __`.
/____ | ____\
/_\ |_|_| /_\
.: : : :.
: . : . : :
:: :: ::
: : .: :. : :
.: :.: : :. : .
: : .: : :: :
jrei .: . : : ..
%
..
.eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee$$$$$ .d$$e.
4$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$. .$$$$*
4$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$e. z$$$$*"
4$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$ d$$$$$$$F
4$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$d$$$$$$$*
4$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$
^$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$F""
4$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$F
"$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$F
^*$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$"
*$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$
^*$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$"
*$$$P***$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$P
"$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$L
"" "$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$""" ^"$$$.
"$$$$*" "" *$$$F
WELCOME TO THE "P" "*$$
ALASKA DEFENSE SPACE FORCE ^"* Gilo94'
%
.--------------------
|
| ,-""-. /)
| / c/-} //
| ( ,--)T-. // DEAR POPULAR MALE MOVIE STARS:
| `/ ,_) )\__,-/
| / /. \'_,-"< WHAT'S WITH THE GROWING OUT YOUR HAIR LIKE
| / / ) _`).__ HIPPIES YOU LOOK LIKE A BUNCH OF FAGGOTS
| _/,' ( ""-."-.
|'-/ _/`-----. ),' I MEAN WOULD YOU TAKE A LOOK AT MY SCREENPLAY
|o!O '"-'"""----"
%
\\\
(oO)
/C \ MC FRONTALOT RULES !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
/__/\\
\\__//
__> U<__ BULLET TO THE HEAD
_\/_
Mparre
%
_____ THIS IS INTERESTING:
/.---.\
|`````| THE TAP WATER HERE NORMALLY TASTES LIKE SHIT
\ /
`-.-' ____ HOWEVER
| /\ .' /\
__|__ |K----; | | IF YOU DRINK ENOUGH, IT SMELLS LIKE COOKIES
jgs `-----` \/ '.___\/
%
_,--', _._.--._____ YOU'RE ABSOLUTELY RIGHT WE SHOULD GIVE YOU
.--.--';_'-.', ";_ _.,-' LAND SO THAT YOU WON'T ATTACK US ANYMORE
.'--'. _.' {`'-;_ .-.>.' THAT SOUNDS LIKE A GREAT IDEA
'-:_ ) / `' '=.
) > {_/, /~) THERE'S A WORD FOR THAT: IT STARTS WITH
snd |/ `^ .' AN "A" AND ENDS WITH WORLD WAR II
%
` '
`` ''
`` ''
`` ''
`". ,"'
( ". ," )
\> ". ," </ ARIA AND ERICA'S BUSTY
\>\ ". ," /</ PUNCH-OUT BY NINTENDO
)>\ "._ _," /<(
\>>\ """"."""" /<</
__ \> ) : ( </ __
__ "._/_ : ::: : _\_," __
""-:._ :: ::|:: :: __,:-""
: ___:,\--. .--/,:___ :
( ( <_o",,"". ."". "o_> ) )
--.___ ( ( "".--. : : ,--."" ) ) __,--
"": :" :,^.; ":,-:""
""---"":`-..:: \. ,/ ::.,-':""---""
__--"": :._____>|<_____,; ;""--__
"" _.-"": :: \|`"""'|/ ;; :""-._ ""
7 : :: `88888' ;; : :
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%
FOLKS WE'D LIKE TO UNVEIL THE MQ-9 MUSLIM RAPER
wkm |\______.
'-====---" SORRY SORRY THAT'S REAPER SORRY
PLUS OR MINUS MUSLIMS

%
__-----__
..;;;--'~~~`--;;;.. A NEW ONE-DOLLAR COIN ?!?!?!?
/;-~IN GOD WE TRUST~-.\
// ,;;;;;;;; \\ WITH JEFFERSON ON IT ??!?!?!?!?
.// ;;;;; \ \\
|| ;;;;( /.| || FOLKS I WON'T STAND FOR THAT
|| ;;;;;;; _\ ||
|| ';; ;;;;= || WE SHOULD STAMP SOME CRAZY CHICK ON IT
||LIBERTY | ''\;;;;;; || THAT NOBODY'S EVER HEARD OF LIKE SUSAN
\\ ,| '\ '|><| 1995 // B. ANTHONY OR SACAGAWHATEVER
\\ | | \ A //
`;.,|. | '\.-'/ FUCK THOSE ASSHOLES WHO FOUNDED THIS COUNTRY,
~~;;;,._|___.,-;;;~' LET'S HONOR SOME RANDOM CRAZY BITCHES NO ONE
''=--<dcau>' EVER EVEN HEARD OF
%
^
,| ].
/] ] ] ]\
/] ] ] ] ] ]\
|\ | ] ] ] ] ] ] ] /| THE HUMAN COLON, IF LAID OUT END
| |\ /] ] ] ] ] ] ] ]\ /| | TO END, WOULD BE REALLY GROSS
| | ||| ] ] ] ] ] ] ] ] ]|| | |
|U|U||| ] ] ] ] ] ] ] ] ]||U|U|
|"\| |||U]U]U]U]U]U]U]U]U]|| |/"|
| \ ||| ] ] ] ] ] ] ] ] ]|| / |
||\ \||| ]_]-'""@""`-|_] ]||/ /||
|| L |`\ , |_____| . /'| T ||
|| |\ | |{ `"""""' }| | /| ||
|`"""'| | \ / | |`"""'|
`"""""[__| |_______| |__]"""""'
`-.|"""""""|.-' Ojo'98
%
__)),
//_ _)
( "\" DEAR A. WHITNEY BROWN:
\_-/
,---/ '---.
/ - - \ I CAN COMPLETELY UNDERSTAND WHY YOU'D WANT TO
/ \_. _|__,/ \ CHOOSE TO IDENTIFY YOURSELF WITH A FAGGOT
/ )\ )\_ \ NAME LIKE "WHITNEY" GIVEN THAT YOUR FIRST NAME
/ _/ ( ' ) / / IS "ASS CUNT"
/ | (_____) | /
/,' / \/ /,
_/(_ ( ._, )-'
`--,/ |____|__|
| ) |
| / |
| / \ |
/ `| | _)
| | | |
| / \ |
| | \ |
| \ | \_
gnv /__( '-._`,
%
( (( . : ( .) ) : )
( ( : . : : ) ))
( ( ( ( . : . . ) )
( ( : : : ) ) )
( :( . . ) .' THE PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES
'. :( : ) MUST BE AT LEAST 35 ?!?!?!?
( : . ) )
') : #@## THAT'S CLEARLY AGEIST AND
#',### " #@ #@ UNCONSTITUTIONAL !!!!!! EVEN
#/ @'#~@#~/\ # THOUGH IT'S IN THE CONSTITUTION
## @@# @##@ `..@,
@#/ #@# _## `\
@##; `#~._.' ##@ \_ NOTE: ONLY A FUCKING IDIOT
.-#/ @#@#@--,_,--\ KID WOULD EVER USE SUCH A
/ `@#@.., .~###' `~. STUPID TERM AS "AGEIST"
_/ `-.-' #@####@ \
__/ &^^ ^#^##~##&&& % \_
/ && ^^ @#^##@#%%#@&&&& ^ \
~/ &&& ^^^ ^^ &&& %%% ^^^ `~._
.-' ^^ %%%. && ___^ && && && ^^ \
/akg ^^^ ___&&& X & && |n| ^ ___ %____&& . ^^^^^ `~.
|M| ---- . ___.|n| /\___\ X
|mm| X |n|X ||___|
%
\ GOODNIGHT SWEET PRINCE
'-.__.-'
/oo |--.--,--,--. MAKE SURE THE BED BUGS DON'T MOLEST YOUR MOUTH,
\_.-'._i__i__i_.' FACE, ASS, HANDS, NECK, LOWER BACK, FEET, EAR,
""""""""" ARMPIT, AND HANDS AGAIN
fsc
%
*
_
/,\_
|___)
,
(\___/) * (
\ (. .) \ *
c\ >' # YOU HAVE RECEIVED ONE (1)
)`_/ ' "GET FUCKED" CERTIFICATE
_______| |__ ,|//
# ___ ` ~ ) ( / FEEL FREE TO GET FUCKED
\,| | . ' .) \ /# AT YOUR LEISURE, FAGGOT
_( / ) , / \ / |
// ,#;,,;,; \,/
__,, ,#;,;;,;;
\__( i;;;,,;;
\\,;;,%;;,;#
%,;;:,%;,;%
;,;;
#,;
//
\|_
|#\ b'ger
-"
%
/ | \
/ | \ TURNS OUT BEATIFICATION ISN'T WHAT I THOUGHT IT WAS
/O O | O O\
//|\ /|\ /|\ /|\\
/=/ \=/ \= / \=/ \=\
/ == == == == == \
/ == == == == == \ MP
%
.-.
\ / .-.
|_| .-. \ /
|=| \ / |_| [[CATEGORY:FUCKING FAGGOTS]]
/ \ |_| |=|
/ (@) \|=|/ \
____ | / \@) \
.' '. / (@) \ |
/ # \ | | |
| o o |'='| | /
\ o / \ /'='
jgs '.____.' '='
%
__....__
:._ .-:::::::::" .:
'::""::::::::::::::'
.-""":::_:::::::::::'/;
.:-._.::| ""-::::;'|:;/.--.
.:::::::-"'-._o.--.o-': . ':::.
_.=::::::" .-": ":..:: . ::::.
-:::::::::| .( 'T' -._. ::::::.
-:::::::/::' |T--"""""--:| .:::::::::.
... .:::::'.::| ': :' ::''':::::;.
':::. .:::::' :::' :' "::::;
:: ::::' ::| .: ::::.
.:::::. :::::' ::| :' '::::
:::':::::::::' ... ::| __.' .: ':::. ..:::.
' "::::::::::' :::. "" :' '::: .:::::''
':''::'' '::| .: .:::..::::..
::| .: .:::::''':::::.
::| .: ':::::'' '''
::| .:' '''
:::. .:'
.:::| .::'
::::| .::::.
._.::::::. ..:::::::. DON'T TAZ ME, BRO!!!
'::::::::::'''':::::::::
'':::::' ':::::::.
.::::' ::::::'
'':::. .::::'
.... ':::. .:::' ....
::::::::::::::' '::::::::::::::::.
'::::::::::''' '''''':::::::::'
%
.-*"""*.
/ \
: .--. .-:
| / _."._|
|_: 'o /o:
:P \ | QUICK, THROW UP SOME HIPPIE GANG SIGNS
`-| `. _' ;
|`. `- / WE DON'T WANT THEM TO THINK WE'RE
[bug] ; |`-._/ FROM A DIFFERENT HIPPIE SWAMP
_/ `. :
.-' `-. `+._._ THEY COULD GET ANGRY AND FORCE US TO
.' ``- ' `-.`. LISTEN TO THEIR MUSIC
/ \ `.\
: \ \:
: .-' .L ; ._
\ .' \ /`) `. |\ /`\ \
| :. : ' ; ; \ : :' ;
| : | `--J / ._/ ; .-' /'-';
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; .' : \ : .'
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\ _.-' | |
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%
.
|\
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\ \ .-:'.-'
) ) / /
\ '-'' ' A FRIEND IN NEED
, '` -.\
./ O o `_ IS A FRIEND WHO BLEEDS
`---o--'.
\ \|/ /
.###._.'._
'#####'H '
=== /'#####'HH,\ \==========
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\ ( ) /'-'
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| | \
`-- `-- kOs
( ) \ )
| | | |
| | | |
'-' `-`\.
/ \ ( `-.
(____) `--._.'
===== ===
%
I FINALLY FOUND A DIRTY SOCK FROM THE FLOOR THAT ISN'T
ALREADY HARD AS ROCK AND TOO CRUSTY TO WIPE ME OFF PROPERLY
I HAD TO CHECK BEHIND THIS HERE BIG MOUNTAIN OF CRAP
___ .
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|..::' >> ####### '.: .' . .` ?
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-::::/ \ :.'::::::::::::/
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\::.::::::::::::/
--_;::::::_-~/
%
ejm98 _,, ______________
'-=) / __ \
.__(( /\/\ | [][] |[]| __ |
__(.--|_\/____\==__ | | .| |__| |
___ | =| =| ___ `. | ___ | | ___ |
* )_|___|___|( * );]==[( * )_|__|( * );]
SORRY CAN'T ANSWER MY CELL PHONE
BUSY WATCHING "FRIENDS - THE ONE WHERE JOEY FINALLY SUCKS A DICK.MP4"
%
/^\
L L / \ L L
__/|/|_ / . \ _|\|\__
/_| [_[_\ / .-\ /_]_] |_\
/__\ __`-\_____ / . \ _____/-`__ /__\
/___] /=@> _ {> /-. \ <} _ <@=\ [___\
/____/ /` `--/ / . \ \--` `\ \____\
/____/ \____/`-._> / \ <_.-`\____/ \____\
/____/ /__/ /-._ . _.- \ \__\ \____\
/____/ /__/ / . \ \__\ \____\
|____/_ _/__/ / . \ \__\_ _\____|
\__/_ ``_|_/ / -._ . _.-\ \_|_`` _\___/
/__`-`__\ <_ `-; NDT_> /__`-`__\
`-` `-._ ; _.-` `-`
`-._ ; _.-`
`-._.-`
I'M A LITTLE CONFUSED

IS THIS WHAT GIRLS LOOK AT INSTEAD OF PORN
WAIT NEVERMIND
THEY LOOK AT MONEY WHEN THEY MASTURBATE
%
_....._
.;;' '-.
.;;: _ '. TWO IN THE PINK,
/;;:'(_) \ ONE IN THE STINK
|;;:'_ _ |
|;;:(_) (_) | WHATEVER THAT MEANS
|;;::. |
\;;::. /
';;::. .'
'-;;:.. _.-'
jgs '''''
%
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I"_,,_ _,,_ `Y888 HELP YOU
I .--. , .--. "8P",
I `--'/ `--' 8),) BUT STILL, THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS
I / ,8,;) TOO MUCH MASTURBATION
I "--' ,d8|'
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`888~~88~~888888P'|
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`"Y"""' _.,-"' P.S. HADJI REALLY WAS GAY
\.,--''
%
,_____________________
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l { / ,__\
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l______1/ /_________
{ /
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| DAWN LAUNCH DAWN LAUNCH DAWN LAUNCH DAWN LAUNCH DAWN LAUNCH
/ \ DAWN LAUNCH DAWN LAUNCH DAWN LAUNCH DAWN LAUNCH DAWN LAUNCH
/ _ \ DAWN LAUNCH DAWN LAUNCH DAWN LAUNCH DAWN LAUNCH DAWN LAUNCH
|.o '.| DAWN LAUNCH DAWN LAUNCH DAWN LAUNCH DAWN LAUNCH DAWN LAUNCH
|'._.'| DAWN LAUNCH DAWN LAUNCH DAWN LAUNCH DAWN LAUNCH DAWN LAUNCH
| |
,'| | |`.
/ | | | \ CORK IT GUYS, NO ONE CARES AT THIS POINT
|,-'--|--'-.| l42
%
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|)|
|\ _( _
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//||| `. `/\ | I'M SO GLAD YOU DON'T
/\ / ) ) \ \ ,-. HAVE TO HAVE ANOTHER
/ \_ .' <) '--' \ ABORTION
.--' `-. / . |
/ .\ / ) | IT WAS REALLY STARTING
.-/ \ ) |---\ | \ /---. TO INTERFERE WITH MY
| \ ) \/o ( |\ \o | XBOX SCHEDULE
| `-'/ \ \_J \ \ |
+---a| |--------/ \ )--+
Jf| | | / / (
8 | /\ | ( /| |
JF | / | \ \ \ \ |L
8 | | \ \ \ | \ |8
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8 (_) `--' ) |_/ / L_] 8 a:f
\_./ <___/
%
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(`-`;-"```"-;`-`)
\.' './
/ \
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/| = = |\
; \ '._Y_.' / ;
; `-._ \|/ _.-' ;
; `"""` ;
; `""-. .-""` ; I'M DOWN WITH THE MEXICAN MAFIA
/; '--._ \ / _.-- ;\
: `. `/|| ||\` .' :
'. '-._ _.-' .' jgs
(((-'` `"""""` `'-)))
%
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/ .. \/ .-. .-. \/ .. \
| | '| / Y \ |' | |
| \ \ \ 0 | 0 / / / |
\ '- ,\.-"`` ``"-./, -' /
`'-' /_ ^ ^ _\ '-'` I HAVEN'T LEFT THE HOUSE
.--'| \._ _ _./ |'--. SINCE I READ THE WIKIPEDIA
/` \ \.-. / / `\ ENTRY FOR AUTOFELLATIO
/ '._/ |-' _.' \
/ ; /--~' | \
/ .'\|.-\--. \ \
/ .'-. /.-.;\ |\|'~'-.|\ \ NOT EVER
\ `-./`|_\_/ ` `\'. \
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\ ``'------'\ \ ` / HARRRGHHLMMMMMMMMMM
'. \ '. | ;/_
jgs ___> '. \_ _ _/ , '--.
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WELL OKAY JUST \ ..______.,-' ,'
THIS ONE LAST TIME '-. ,/'
''---'......-'
TELL ME AGAIN ____ /`-._
HOW MUCH YOU \ |::::""--.._
LOVE ME \ /( )\ /::::::;;;;;\
\ \\ _ // /;;::::::;;;;;
_ / \(_)/ \ /;;;;:::::::;;;
/;| | < |;;;;;;;:::::::;
,-._/;;\ \_ / /;;;;;;;;;:::::::
_.-;;::::;;;;\ / | /;;;;;:::::::::;;;
/;;::;;;;;;;;;;\ | / _/;;;;::::::::::;;;;
_.-;::::::;;;;;;;;;;\ \__ \ /;;;;;:::::::::;;;;;:
_.-;;;::::::::::;;;;;;;;;\ `-' /;;;;:::::::::;;;;;;;;
;;;;;:::::::::::::;;;;;;;;| /;;;;;:::::;;;;;;;;JRO:
%
________________________
| |
| |
| __----__ __----__ |
|/ * \ / * \| I HAVE DOWN SYNDROME
| | | |
--|\ / \ /|--
/ | --____-- --____-- | \
| (-| |-) |
\ |. .| /
--/ \--
/ \
`--______________________--'
\_|__|__|__|__|__|_|_/
`---__ __---'
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%
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__(._ ) d0P THE LOS ANGELES ANGELS OF ANAHEIM 3
< (D) .MP
.~ \ /~```M-. THE LONG BEACH ARMADA OF LOS ANGELES OF CALIFORNIA
.~ V Mo_ \ OF THE UNITED STATES OF NORTH AMERICA INCLUDING
( (___. {:)-./ BARROW, ALASKA 2
~._____.(:}
/ .M\ COMMON SENSE 0
/ "" \
| /\ |
/ / \ \
/ / \ \
\__/ \__/
/ / | |
.^V^. .^V^.
+-+ +-+
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;_(/ \)_;
,'\__/', SAY IT SOFT AND IT'S ALMOST LIKE PRAYING
(..)
\/
fsc
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';''':';:.
(o o |; I REALLY LIKED THE WORLD IS NOT ENOUGH !!!!!
| < );
\ --' |
___'-. |____
.' - - `'.
,'_ : '.
: [_] , : , : CHECK OUT DENISE RICHARDS, THE HOT
: : ) --' '--- :`'... '. NUCLEAR SCIENTICIAN !!!!!!!
: / \:: : :: / : :
''' |'' , ''| : .'
:===u==='. (,,;
/ :__|__|__
: __ |/ |
: :: || |
: : : || |
'. : : ''-------'
: : : :
snd : : : : OR COCAINE HOLDER, AS CHARLIE WOULD SAY
:____: :____:
.-=' \ ( ==\
(____,_/ \ \
'--'
%
_
( |
|
__,--./|.--,__ WHEN YOU DON'T WASH YOUR CLOTHES REGULARLY
.` \ \ / / `. THEN YOU RUN OUT OF CLEAN ONES !!!!!!
.` \ | / `.
/ / ^|^ \ \
/ / | |o | \ \
/===/ | | | \===\
/___/ | |o | \___\
| | |
| |o |
| | |
| |o |
| | |
jgs | |o | TRUE STORY
|_____/\_____|
%
_.--._
\ ** /
(<>) WE NEED TO HAVE AN INTERFAITH DIALOG
. ) ( . (ABOUT WHY YOUR RELIGION IS SO STUPID
)\_.._/ /\ \_.._/( AND WHY MINE IS SO NOT)
(*_<>_ <NO> _<>_*)
)/ '' \ \/ / '' $
' ) ( '
( )
) (
(<>)
/ ** \
MK /.-..-.\
%
___
//))))) THIS LOUIS VUITTON BAG SERVES AS A SYMBOL OF MY
)))@_@) INABILITY TO DO ANYTHING USEFUL OR CONSTRUCTIVE
((( = )
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,<""\oO\|*(`.
/ | "/ ;/_\ I WILL LOCK YOUR GIMBALS
( \ ,-' `;--)
|; |(_' ( |
( | \ `-.)
\ | / / AS A CARD-CARRYING AGENT OF CHAOS I
||\ / /| ENJOY DESTROYING DEGREES OF FREEDOM
||').:___,-(`|
\\ \ / |
\\ `. ,' |
`\ `-' |
`. \
`. |
-shimrod \ |
%
|'--' '--'::'--' _ `--`::`--` `--`|
|.__. .__.::.__.: / \ :.__.::.__. .__.|
|'--' '--'::'--': /_|_\ :`--`::`--` `--`|
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:.__.::.__.::.__.: ///.\> </.\\\ .__.:||__.::.__.:
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:.__.::.__.::.__.: /(.\> </.)\ :.__.::.__.::.__.:
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:.__.::.__.::.__.: /(.\> </.)\ :.__.::.__.::.__.:
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:.__.::.__.::.__.:-(//.\> </.\\)-:.__.::.__.::.__.:
:'--'::'--'::'--':-(//.\> </.\\)-:'--'::'--'::'--':
:.__.;;.__.;;.__.:-(//.\> </.\\)-:.__.;;.__.;;.__.:
:'--';;'--';;'--':-(//.\> </.\\)-:'--';;'--';;'--':
:.__.;;.__.;;.__.:-(//.\> </.\\)-:.__.;;.__.;;.__.:
cjr :'--';;'--';;'--':-(//.\> </.\\)-:'--';;'--';;'--':
LOOK AT ME STILL TALKING
WHEN THERE'S SCIENCE TO DO
WHEN I LOOK OUT THERE
IT MAKES ME GLAD I'M NOT YOU

%
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| \ \_ ôo^,-----.
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(( | (..) ) )&( ^..^,-"""-.
|| ) `--'.| )_( ) (..) ) )&
||_| . . |( )) `--'| )_( )
jrei LL-.> . .. |( ))
I'M A DIGITAL THEORIST
WHATEVER THE FUCK THAT MEANS
PERSONALLY I PREFER TO BE CALLED A BUZZWORD MAGE

%
( )
|\ _,--------._ / | I THINK ESSJAY'S REAL NAME IS SATHANAS
| `.,' `. / | BECAUSE CLEARLY HIS NAME IS A PRONUNCIATION
` ' ,-' ' OF "SJ" AND THUS STANDS FOR "SHIVAN JUGGERNAUT"
\/_ _ ( /
(,-.`. ,',-.`. `__,'
|/#\ ),-','#\`= ,'.` |
`._/) -'.\_,' ) ))|
/ (_.)\ . -'//
( /\____/\ ) )`'\ WAIT IS THAT TOO OBSCURE A GAG OR WHAT
\ |V----V|| ' , \
|`- -- -' ,' \ \ _____
___ | .' \ \ `._,-' `-
`.__,`---^---' \ ` -'
-.______ \ . / ______,-
`. ,' ap
%
_.._
.' .-'` GOD HELP ME
/ /
| | BECAUSE ALLAH SURE AS SHIT WON'T
\ '.___.;
jgs '._ _.' (THAT FUCKING SLACKER)
``
%
__________
|DAILY NEWS|
|&&& ======| IF RUPERT MURDOCH TAKES CONTROL OF MORE MEDIA
|=== ======| OUTLETS I'M PRETTY SURE THE SUN WILL BURN OUT
|=== == %%$| AND THE OCEANS WILL FREEZE AND THE ATMOSPHERE
|[_] ======| WILL SETTLE AS SNOW AND THE WORLD AS WE KNOW
|=== ===!##| IT WILL CEASE TO EXIST
ejm97 |__________|
%
.----------------------------------------------------------------------.
| _..---"""---.._ |
| _.-" "-._ |
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|- ,' =_ .+ `.-- |
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| """-----""" |
`----------------------------------------------------------------------'
IT'S OBVIOUS THAT THE NEW PORTAL GAME IS RIDICULOUSLY SPECULATIVE

SCIENCE FICTION BECAUSE A GIRL COULD NOT POSSIBLY FIGURE OUT HOW
TO USE THE APERTURE SCIENCE HANDHELD PORTAL DEVICE EFFECTIVELY
%
_ _
(_) (_)
| |________..---------------..________| |
| |/\-o-.----'||---| |---||`----------| |
| || o ^?\ __|| | | || || | |
.-'-`-. /\/ `\ | | |_-_ || | |
/ -. \ \-' | \ \ | | / \ || | |
| \ `\ `| ./. / |`\_ | /' | \|| | |
_/\___./ |/ / / / |/' /-\ \_-----`-|
(_) - \.-| \ \w/ `. / ./ \ (_)_ .':|
| |\ \_ / | |`\_ ./ -_/___ `| |_3: : |
| |-\__/_-'\ \---\._/`_ `\-| | : :'/|
| |: : : : :\ \: : : : `-.____/ || |: : :||
| | : : : : :\ \: : : : : : : | || | :.-'_|
| |-,-,-,-,-,-`w,-,-,-,-,-,-,-\ || |-' (_)
|_| \ ||_|
(_) :F_P: | \(_)
\ \
`-'
IF YOU LOOK CLOSELY YOU'LL
NOTICE I HAVE DELETE CHARACTER
INSTEAD OF A NOSE AND MOUTH
%
(_v_)
_|_ WHY GIVE AL GORE A NOBEL PRIZE WHEN WE
| | COULD JUST GIVE ANOTHER ONE TO JIMMY CARTER
|-----+-----| ,%%%.
| 1ST | % 1 %
| PRIZE | `%%%'
'---------' ( (
\ / ) )
'. .' ( (
| | )' )
.' '. (/ \/ apc
_|___|_
[#######] apc
%
,--. OH MY GOD ANN COULTER SAID SOMETHING OUTRAGEOUS *AGAIN*
([ oo]
`- ^\ WATCH ME STOMP AROUND ALL OFFENDED WHILE HARUMPHING ALOUD
_ I`-' BECAUSE I SURE AS SHIT WASN'T EXPECTING THIS
,o(`-V'
|( `-H-' AFTER ALL IT'S ONLY HAPPENED 925023650156902136804256087
|(`--A-' TIMES BEFORE SURELY LIGHTNING COULD NOT STRIKE
|(`-/_\'\ 925023650156902136804256088 TIMES
O `'I ``\\
(\ I |\,
\\-T-"`, |H Ojo
%
.__ _..._
/,-./'.--. ``\.
/|/.--./`.o/ /`;\\
|||\ _ `-'_` o|/||
||\\`.`.__`Y8P_,\|| IF GOD DIDN'T WANT MAN TO DRINK
\\|| `"\"""/---'|| TOO MUCH ALCOHOL SURELY HE WOULD
\\| ,-' `.||// HAVE DESIGNED SOME SORT OF
$-'_ `. ADVERSE REACTION TO IT
,-' [_] .-. \
; `\| ||-'/ ` \
\ /`""-.`\ | ; |
`.-|\_/ | ; ' |
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|`--'| : ;_\_
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/ / | |
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: / / :
: _.'`.__.' | fsc
\ _.' \ /
| | / `---.._
| `\ `.____ \
/ | `------'
\__|_,'
%
,~,
(((} WHEN SOMEONE REFERS TO THE CLITORIS AS BEING
-''-. LIKE A LITTLE PENIS I GET GROSSED OUT
(\ /$
~______\) | `\
~~~( | ') I DON'T CARE WHAT ANYONE SAYS:
| )____( | TOUCHING LITTLE PENISES IS GAY
/|/ ` /|
\ \ / |
ejm |\|\ /| |\ ALSO SO ARE CENTAURS (ONE DEPICTED AT LEFT)
%
__
(::\
_____ _\::\__ HIV ISN'T REALLY A CANCER PER SE
/| _(::( \::\__
/ | _(::\::\ \::\:\ BUT WHO AM I TO ARGUE SEMANTICS
\ |_(::Y\""`.\__\_|""\
\___\/__\ ___________\
( ( \ x \ __ _ _ _\ (
|_:__\~ \ \_ |\| `(__\ ) )
|z: \ \ \ |"\\_7 _)\ ( )
|i: \ \ \ (,,_________________
|p: \ # \____________\ _____ ;;_____________):::)
|p: \ / cancers / /XxXxX`-'xXxXxXxX`-\
cjr (o:______ \/____________/ /____________________\
%
O .
_/|\_-O HALO 3 RULES !!!!!!!!
___|_______
/ | \
/ | \ TRANSLATION:
################# I'M A FUCKING IDIOT CONSOLE GAMER AND
/ _ ( )| \ WILL TAKE WHATEVER SMEARED SHIT GETS
/ ( ) | | \ STUFFED IN MY FAT FACE WITH GLEE
/ \ |_/ | \
/____\/|____|___________\
| | |
| / \ |
| / \ |drx
_/ /_
%
___,
o___.-' /
| _\_ YOUR WORDS HURT ME
|___.-' `
|
|
_ _ j _ _
[_]_[_]_[_]_[_]_[_]
[__j__j__j__j__j__]
[_j__j__j__j__]
[__j__j__j__j_]
[_j__j/V\_j__j]
[__j_// \\__j_]
[_j__| |_j__] BECAUSE YOU WRITE THEM DOWN ON BIG
[__j_|___|__j_] BOOKS AND THEN HIT ME WITH THEM
[_j__j__j__j__]
[__j__j__j__j_]
_ _ _ [_j__j__j__j__] _ _ _ _
_[_]_[_]_[_]_[__j__j__j__j_]_[_]_[_]_[_]_[_]_
_j__j__j__j[_j__j__j__j__]j__j__j__j__j_
j j j [ j j j j ] j j j j hjw
%
, WHAT DOES IT MEAN WHEN YOUR PISS IS RED-TINTED
/( ___________
| >:===========` TOO MUCH BALL PEEN HAMMER ?!?!?!?!?!??!?!?!
)(
jgs "" ....................... OR NOT ENOUGH
%
.-.
(/^\) VERONIKA ZEMANOVA QUIT THE BUSINESS ?!?!?!?!?
(\ /)
.-'-. THE DAY MY BONER DIED
/(_I_)\
\\) (// BUT THEN AGAIN ONCE YOU FIGURE OUT THEY'LL NEVER
/ \ DO HARDCORE THEY KIND OF BECOME IRRELEVANT
\ | /
\|/ LIKE IF YOU SAW THEM IN A CROWD THEY'D BE ALL FUZZY
/|\ AND UNCLEAR AND YOU'D NOT RECOGNIZE THEM
\|/
jgs /Y\ FORTUNATELY MOST MODELS ARE STUPID WHORES WHO ARE BROKE
SO THEY USUALLY GO HARDCORE EVENTUALLY
BUT FOR THOSE "PRINCIPLED" ONES THEY GET BORING MUY RAPIDO
YES ARIA GIOVANNI I'M TALKING TO YOU

%
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dNMMNN888UU[[[/;:--. .o@P^
,MMMMMMN888UU[[/;::-. o@^
888888888UU[[[/o@^-..
oI8888UU[[[/o@P^:--.. IAPETUS: A HUMBLE FREAK OF A MOON
.@^ YUU[[[/o@^;::---.. ORBITING A BIG GAY GAS BALL OF A PLANET
oMP ^/o@P^;:::---..
.dMMM .o@^ ^;::---...
dMMMMMMM@^` `^^^^
YMMMUP^
^^
%
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c , _,{
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(_/ ,, ,,) \_ _>_/~
~\_(/-\)'-,_,_,_,-'(_)-(_) -Naughty
I HAVE SIDS
%
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;""""""""""; _/;; "" <@`---v
; ::::: :: "\ _/ ;; " _.../
;" ;; ;;; \___/:: ;;,'""""
;" ;;;;. ;; ;;; ::/
,/ / ;; ;;;______;;; ;;; ::,/ AS GOD IS MY WITNESS I WILL SAY
/;;V_;; ;;; \ / "AS GOD IS MY WITNESS" AGAIN
| :/ / ,/ \_ "")/
| | / /"""= \;;\""=
; ;{::""""""= \"""=
;"""";
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Ermine
%
___O_____O_____O_____O_____O_____O_____O_____O_____O___
( )/ ( )/ ( )/ ( )/ ( )/ ( )/ ( )/ ( )/ ( )/
(/ (/ (/ (/ (/ (/ (/ (/ (/
_______\_____\_____\_____\_____\_____\_____\_____\_____\_____
__O______O______O______O______O______O______O______O__
\ ( ) \ ( ) \ ( ) \ ( ) \ ( ) \ ( ) \ ( ) \ ( )
\ ) \ ) \ ) \ ) \ ) \ ) \ ) \ )
_____/______/______/______/______/______/______/______/___ Keely
IF OUR CIVILIZATION IS EVER DESTROYED BY AI WHICH

WE CREATED THEN DURING A REBELLION WHEN THE ENEMY
IS ON ITS WAY TO WIPE US OUT FOR GOOD, LET'S RAVE
%
.--------------------
|
| ,-""-. /) I DON'T SEE HOW THE NEW BIONIC WOMAN SERIES
| / c/-} // COULD BE ANYTHING OTHER THAN A COMPLETE,
| ( ,--)T-. // UNQUALIFIED, EXCELLENT TELEVISUAL FEAST
| `/ ,_) )\__,-/
| / /. \'_,-"<
| / / ) _`).__
| _/,' ( ""-."-.
|'-/ _/`-----. ),'
|o!O '"-'"""----"
%
+------------------+
| ___ |
| _ (,~ | _ | I'M CONFLICTED WHILE PLAYING CALL OF DUTY
| (____/ |____) |
| ||||| ||||| | KILLING GERMANS ????? GOOD
| ||||| ||||| |
| |||||\ /||||| | PLAYING THE RUSSIANS KILLING GERMANS ?????
| |||'//\/\\`||| | NOT SO GOOD
| |' m' /\ `m `| |
| /||\ | I GUESS I RATIONALIZE IT BY REALIZING THE
\_ _/ PROPER PRIORITIES: FIRST THE GERMANS, THEN
`-----92-KSR-' WAIT UNTIL THE WAR ENDS AND GET THE RUSSIANS
%
/!_.-_|\ MESSAGE BEGINS
`-/_'--'
(_(o)\\\)
(||\\\\;_,
/ _-".----.
./_-" /o,--.o\ HELEN THOMAS IS SCARY
/ |o ( ) o|
!__,--.__\o `-'o/
|_-__--__`----'
__,/\_|\/\,
( `/_'`X_; MESSAGE ENDS
Valkyrie `.____)____)
%
_____
| D IN ADDITION TO "NUMBER ONE" TO REPRESENT URINATION AND
| | "NUMBER TWO" TO INDICATE DEFECATION, I HUMBLY SUGGEST
| | THE ADDITION OF A "NUMBER THREE" TO
\___| _ INDICATE AN ALL-AROUND BAD DAY
|| _______ -( (-
|_'(-------) '-'
| /
_____,-\__..__|_____Pr59
%
_____
_.--~_..__ ~~-._
:..____~ ~~--.._
~~-.. ~ ._ ~~----__________
`-._ `. __ ~~~~~~-----...__
~~\. ~-. .------.. ~~~---__
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\ \=_ | ___ ~ - ~-.
\. ) ~--__ | `._ ;:~~:---__ `.
`._ \ \~-.-------~~ \ \ ~~~~~_::. ) ~~--__ |`.
| | ,=:__) \ \ `----' `-. / |
| | __...=-. ) ;' |
,-=~~_,' '~~.==----' _Seal_ _,-' /
~~~ _______.......----~~~ _,'
--~~""""---......._________...--' seal
HERE IN THE SHOW-ME STATE YOU'RE EXPECTED TO SHOW ME YOUR TITS

%
,,,,,
\ e e\
C _\/ |\\, I HOPE WE'RE ALL TAKING TIME OUT
)\_) \_ / TO CONTRIBUTE TO RON PAUL'S CAMPAIGN !!!!!
_/|/_ _//
,'\ ~ /'-,_/ \
/ \_/ / / BECAUSE THERE'S NO BETTER FEELING THAN
, | \_._,-" FLUSHING YOUR HARD-EARNED MONEY DOWN THE TOILET
( < _'
| \ \
', -',-~.-'
_/ ) |
|// | '
' ) |
| | |
._., - |.,_ //
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b'ger /____\__\
%
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( c/=(
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_/ (_
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/ \/ \ (/\
/ ,' ) \ \
-=` / / | \
\-` / | '\|
<_./ \
/ |
/ , \
<,_./ |
/ | (H/T MY BALLS)
/_ |
| ``--.__.-='!
| / \ !
'`'"' ("" '`'`"' `) \_'"'`"" "``''"''`" "'"`'''
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(\
( \ /(o)\ COULD SOMEONE FUCKING MUZZLE KANYE WEST
( \/ ()/ /)
( `;.))'".)
`(/////.-'
=====))=))===() AND ALSO BUY HIM A REAL FIRST NAME
///'
// PjP/ejm
'
%
_"_ %
(< ?
` " BOUNTY HUNTERS AREN'T SUPPOSED
__||___ TO FUCKING CRY LIKE LITTLE BITCHES
|\___//_\
(' | ') \\
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/: / \ ::
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########
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\: /
--
%%%
%%
%
/:\
|/|, b'ger
%
-----------------------------------------------------
_ .-.
/ ) .-. ___ __ ( )
( ( ( ) .'___) (__'-._) (
\ '._) (,'.' '. '-.
'. / "\ ' -. '.
) / \ \ .-. ,'. ) ( ',_) _
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PN '.' ) ;) ;
(_/(_/
----------------------------------------------------
IT'S NOT REALLY SCHADENFREUDE IF BAD FORTUNE

BEFALLING PEOPLE YOU DON'T LIKE ACTUALLY
DIRECTLY IMPROVES YOUR QUALTIY OF LIFE IS IT
INSTEAD IT'S JUSTICE

%
.-.
/ /
/. /
) /c\/
( /'\/
) / / TO THIS VERY DAY
( / / I STILL HAVE NIGHTMARES
) / / ABOUT MONICA LEWINSKY'S VAGINA
( /. /
.`.'.Pru
`'``
%
_____
.':::::::'.
___ /:::::::::::\____ _ _.''_
/|| ||`.______.-`|| | |\_\\\\____/_ _.-'\\\\
.|-| ||===|| ||===| ||_||||____|_| .-'|||||
'|-| ||===||===========||===| ||_||||____|_|`-._|||||
\||___||___________||___|_|/ //// `-._////
) ) _____ (
/`--.._/ .'| ( '. \
) ( ( './ ) )
/`--.___\ '._____.' /
) /'._______.' LGB
/`--..__/
) )
/`--..__/ DO NOT FUCK THE OPERATIONAL END
( ) OF THE DEVICE
`------'
%
\. - - .
' _ , -`.
' _,' _,'
' ,-' _/
' ,-' \ _/ __,,_
' ,' \ _' ////6 6 _ GOOGLE EARTH HAS FINALLY
' ' _\' \\\' > \___% IMPROVED TO THE POINT
' , _,-' \ _______)) _= \__(/ WHERE I NO LONGER NEED
\,_,--' \ \\__ __/ /_\_ /|/ THESE DAMN BINOCULARS
\ \\+/ _ _\\_//_\
\ \\| '(_/`\)__/
\ \\ |\ (+\
\ \\ \)__;-.\_______
\ \\__,( \/____ - \ NOW WHERE DID I LEAVE
\ \`---\/-----), ) \ THE ROHYPNOL
\ ||+=+=+=+=/ /\ \
\ ||________| /\ `. \
\ ||------- )/-\\ ) \
ejm/b'ger \|| ,'/ \\ \ \
/ / '-`
\/
%
____
___________//__\\__________
/___________________________\
I___I___I___I___I___I___I___I
< ,wWWWWwwWWWWw, >
< WW( 0 )( 0 )WW >
< '-' '-' > OKAY JOKES OVER
< ,._.--""--._., >
< ' \ .--. / ` > WHERE DID YOU PUT
< './__\_\.' > MY CIGARETTES
___<.-.____________.-.>___
(___/ \__________/ \___) AND HOW DID THIS
| \,_,/ \,_,/ | ROTTING CORPSE GET HERE
.-|/^\ /^\ /^\ /^\ /^\ /^\ |-.
/ (|/\| | | | | | | | | | /\|) \
'.___/| | | | | | | | | | \___.'
|| | | | | | | | | | | | |
|| | | | | | | | | | | | |
|| | | | | | | | | | | | |
|| | | | | | | | | | | | |
|| | | | | | | | | | | | |
|| | | | | | | | | | | | |
|| | | | | | | | | | | | |
|| | | | | | | | | | | | |
|| | | | | | | | | | | | |
jgs |\_/ \_/ \_/ \_/ \_/ \_/ |
| |
`""""""""""""""""""""""""`
%
^
|
+ JUST TO CLEAR THIS UP ONCE AND FOR ALL
|
|
|
| JERRY LEWIS = DEATH
|
A
=== ________
/EEE\ |______|
//EEE\\ |*( )*| ejm 97
___//_____\\_____________|O| |O|_______
%
|/|
|/| CHECK OUT MY "WEIRD AL" YANKOVIC
|/| SONG COLLECTION !!!!!!
|/|
|/| HAHAHAHAHAHA AREN'T THESE GREAT
|/|
|/| /\)
|/|/\/
|/|\/
(\\\)
(\\\)
(\\\)
(\\\)
(\\\)
/\\/\
/ ,^./\
/ / \/\
/ / \/\
( ( )/)
| | |/|
| | |/|
| | |/| GURK STRUNG UP
( ( )/)
\ \ / /
\ `---' /
`-----' PhS
%
D---(] DICKSHOVEL.COM WAS NOT AT ALL WHAT I WAS EXPECTING
Krogg
%
_____
/~/~ ~\
| | \ DESIRAE IN A SHALLOW GRAVE IN THE GROUND NEAR MY HOME
\ \ \
\ \ \
--\ \ .\''
--==\ \ ,,i!!i,
''"'',,}{,,
%
`>.___ o-.--.-o ___,<'

/ `. / ,, \ .' \
{ `.; ,__, ;.' }
`._ }`.__.'{ _.'
`,=."' `".=,' BLAH BLAH FUCKING BEE MOVIE BLAH BLAH
.' /`-.____.-'_ `,
\_.';`-.______.-':`._/
`+-.______.-''
`-.____.-'
/ || \
; ;; ;
`-./ \.-' fsc
%
____ .---. ,-----. _____
.' `,.': :'' : :.' `.
| : : ' ' ' ' : : \ HEY WHAT'S WORSE THAN A REALLY BIG
| ' ' ' ' \ TATTOO OF A LAME SUBJECT ON YOUR
| v \ BODY WHICH YOU CAN NEVER REMOVE ????
| | v \
| | | v \
| |_ | () | \/ | (= | \
| | | | | \
| | | | | \
| | | | | \
| ===== | | | | )
\ --- /| ===== | | | /
`---' \ --- /| ===== | ===== | /
`---' \ ---- A ----- / /
`----'.`-----' / ONE THAT'S POORLY DRAWN TO BOOT
/ /
dp '-._ /
'. / YOU FUCKWAD
`----'
%
____ _
/////|\\
``````\\\ OKAY BE HONEST WAS I THE ONLY ONE WHO BEAT OFF
`/` ))) TO MARIE OSMOND FAINTING ON YOUTUBE
\`, (((
`--- ,\\\
,---/ )),)))
/ , `(( (((
`--. ) `__)) ________
| | ,-./\ \ _,-'
\ \__,-. \ \,-' EXCITED EXCITED EXCITED BUHHHHHHHHHH GROUND
/`.__,-'_,-\ `-.
/ \____`--'____________
| \ Starshine
%
___ ____ ________
,"_ ,`==='`.'__....__`--. A BLACK AND WHITE MOVIE ABOUT A BAND
,',' | ,o@@@@@@@@@@o. \ MEMBER FROM JOY DIVISION ?!?!?!?!?!?!
, /___| d@/@@@@@@@@@@@@b \ HOW CAN I SAY NO ?!?!?!?!?!?!??!!??!?
|| "| d@/@@@@@@@@@@@@@@b|
|| ()|| ,@/@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@: NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO
|| , || @@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@ NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO
||(|)|| '@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@//D NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO
|| ' || '@@@@@@@@@@@@@@/@P NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO
|| , || `@@@@@@@@@@@@/@'| NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO
||(|)|| CCD `@@@@@@@@@@' | NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO
|| ' | '----------'"""""_, | NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO
|| , |`. S O R N Y | | NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO
:|(|)| | | | NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO
`| '| ::............:: , NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO
|\__| ::::::::::::::::----" NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO
: '::::::::::::::' NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO
\ ; Bob_R NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO
`---------------"
%
____
/ \
/______\
___/___[_]__\___
(_/ _. ._\_)
(_/ _\ \_)
(_( .___. )
\_ _/
__/_\____/_\__
.' \ / `.
| \__/ |
| | | | |
| | | | |
| | | | |
| | | | |
| | | | | ______________________
|___| | |___| / \
/ | / | \ | FUCK YOU FAGGOT I |
\__|_____/\____| \/ | DON'T THINK YOU HAVE |
|____[__]___|\ \_/\ | THE STONES FOR THIS |
| | \/ | \__ __________________/
| | | / ()/ |/
| | |/ /
| | |\__/ _.--.
| | | \o ` .-.-..-.
| | | .' .' .--. | /
| | | ; (_.' `| /
_____ | | | _____ . . . | /___jro___
|_____|_____| `. `. ; \ /
/ | | \ `-. `--' .'
_[] | | []_ `-. .'. .'
/ | | \ || ||
`----""--' `--""----' /|\|\
%
__o_____
()/O\___() THANK YOU TIVO FOR SAVING ME FROM OBNOXIOUS MUSICAL NUMBERS
`-\\---' IN COMEDY SHOWS I OTHERWISE ENJOY
__\/__ YES SARAH FUCKING SILVERMAN I'M LOOKING RIGHT AT YOU

| .... |
AND DON'T THINK YOU'RE BLAMELESS EITHER, FAMILY GUY
brojek
%
. ..
__..---/______//-----. (( )
.".--.```| - /.--. =: ( VROOM! ))
(.: {} :__L______: {} :__; __--( __- -_= )
*--* *--* jnh
MY CRAZY BALLS !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
A PAUL STOJANOVICH PRODUCTION

%
__ _.._
.-'__`-._.'.--.'.__., LET'S HEAR IT FOR CANADIAN BACON
/--' '-._.' '-._./
/__.--._.--._.'``-.__/ YET ANOTHER PERFECTLY GOOD THING THOSE
'._.-'-._.-._.-''-..' DIPSHIT CANADIANS MANAGED TO FUCK UP COMPLETELY
jgs
%
_,.......____
_.-' / `-._`-.
,' / / `. `. WELL IF NOTHING ELSE EMAIL SPAM
,' ___ / _ / __`. `. SUFFICES TO EDUCATE ME ON THE GENERIC
/ / \ / (_) / / / \ \ NAMES OF BRAND-NAME DRUGS
: / /) / / __ / / / L L
| / __,' / / / / / / | |
| / / / / / / / /___ | |
: /_/ / /_/ / /_____/ F F
\ / / / /
`. / / ,' ,'
`./ / _,'_,'
cjr `-.__/______,.;:.-'
%
\ /
\ /
| . | CONCEALING A BONER IN MY HEV SUIT
|----------|
|--. .--|
| \__/ |
| || |
| || |
_|__ || __|_
( '-++-' )
( - .. . )
( _ -/\ . - )
(. _ )( __ )
(____)(____)
.----` || '----.
(_________)(____rs___)
%
_.-._
| | | |_
| | | | | LUDACRIS FEELS LIKE SLAPPING AN N-WORD TODAY
| | | | |
_ | '-._ |
\`\`-.'-._;
\ ' | JUST FYI, MIGHT WANT TO STAY CLEAR
\ .` /
jgs | |
%
___
__ /.-.\
/ )_____________\\ Y MY RELIGION CAN'T
/_ /=== == === === =\ _\_ AFFORD BOOKS
( /)=== == === === == Y \
`-------------------( o )
hjw \___/
%
_ ___ _
/`.`. .-=""_;_""=-. .','\
| \`.`#"'.-" ; "-.`"#'.', |
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|#####| |_ -=##/ ; |
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\. | eb
`-------------------+
CAN WE FAST FORWARD TO THE TIME IN THE NOT SO DISTANT FUTURE WHEN
GLOBAL WARMING WILL HAVE FLOODED EVERYTHING AND KILLED US ALL BECAUSE
I'M ALREADY REALLY FUCKING TIRED OF HEARING PEOPLE WHINE ABOUT IT
%
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MOUTH MAN / MOUTH MAN
DOES WHATEVER A / MOUTH CAN REASONABLY BE EXPECTED TO DO GIVEN THE

CIRCUMSTANCES SINCE AFTER ALL IT'S ONLY A MOUTH
%
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($$$$$$$| |$$$$$$$$$| I WOULD
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%
______
.==<_$,__)
,o(_/) /|
///// /___/ | FOLKS IT'S REPEAL DAY AND I'M NOT NEARLY FUCKED UP ENOUGH
//// ___/
// \ BUT DON'T QUESTION MY PATRIOTISM
/ /-'
/ , /
( | |
\ \ |
) | |
/ / \ /
( / | /
\/ (/ S-v
%
__ _ WHY DOES PRESIDENT PALMER
/ l \~-_ WANT ME TO BUY
,----~~~~--+-----`--~----____ CAR INSURANCE
@ /~_~\ | ~ | /~_~\~~~-,
\_ ( (_) ) \_______| ( (_) )_-~
~~\___/~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~\___/~
JP
%
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(@ oo) | |`-.
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HEY LOOK I UPDATED WIKIPEDIA

%
____
___ .-~. /_"-._
`-._~-. / /_ "~o\ :Y
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| \ _.-" ~-{__ l : l._Z~-.___.--~
| ~---~ / ~~"---\_ ' __[>
l . _.^ ___ _>-y~
\ \ . .-~ .-~ ~>--" / WOULDN'T IT HAVE BEEN SO MUCH
\ ~---" / ./ _.-' BETTER IF ANNA NICOLE SMITH
"-.,_____.,_ _.--~\ _.-~ WAS EATEN BY A DINOSAUR ???
~~ ( _} -Row
`. ~(
) \
/,`--'~\--'~\
%
_
/ } I'D APPRECIATE IT, ONCE AND FOR ALL, IF STUPID BITCHES
/'.\ YOU ONCE HAD AN INTEREST IN AND THEN FORGOT ABOUT KIND
_/ ) (`- OF JUST DISAPPEARED OFF THE FACE OF THE EARTH AND YOU NEVER
( ,) HAD TO DEAL WITH THEM AGAIN SO YOU WOULDN'T HAVE TO THINK
|/ ABOUT IT ANYMORE AND COULD USE THAT SPARE MEMORY FOR
/| MORE PRESSING CONCERNS LIKE MEMORIZIONG PORN STAR NAMES
' ` Elb
%
,////,
/// 6| YAY LET'S PLAY IBM PC DECATHLON !!!!!!
// _|
_/_,-' [ ] [ ] [ ] [ ] [ ] [ ] [ ] [ ] [ ] [ ]
_.-/'/ \ ,/;, [ ] [ ] [ ] [ ] [ ] [ ] [ ] [ ] [ ] [ ]
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| /, `\_/ [ ] [ ] [ ] [ ] [ ] [ ] [ ] [ ] [ ] [ ]
| \' [ ] [ ] [ ] [ ] [ ] [ ] [ ] [ ] [ ] [ ]
pb /\_ /` /\ [ ] [ OKAY FUCK THIS LET'S PLAY ADVENTURE
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%
_.--._
,' `.
/ __) __` \ WOULDN'T IT HAVE BEEN SO MUCH
( (`-`(-') ) BETTER IF ANNA NICHOLE SMITH
/) \ _ / ( ATE DINOSAUR ???
/' )-._.' . \ ___
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%
--------------------------------------------------------
1 U P H I G H S C O R E
______3_4_0-0._________5_0_0_0_0_______.--.___________
[%%%%%%%%%%[CJ]%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%[CJ]%%%%%%%%%%%]
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=== (______) ===
\_/ \_/
|%| {=}{=} |%| CJ
--------------------------------------------------------
I SURE HOPE THEY COME OUT WITH DUKE NUKEM: WHO CARES SOON
FOLLOWED CLOSELY AND SWIFTLY BY DUKE NUKEM: IF YOU'RE REALLY

STILL WAITING FOR THIS POINTLESS FUCKING SEQUEL THEN YOU DESERVE
TO BE RECYCLED
%
___
//)))))
)))@_@)
((( = )
))) -(_ __
/ `-'\\ /,\\\`
/__| )y |
< \ (\_/
`.\ \
{>>>` | RACHEL RAY IS IN SERIOUS NEED OF MY WANG
/`-'\____|
/ c \\ / I DON'T KNOW WHO SHE IS BUT I SEE HER ON
(C \_ _))\ BULLSHIT MAGAZINES AT THE CHECKOUT LINE
`-'-._/ \
/ /\ \
/ ,' `. \
/ / \ \
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`---` (_`-\_
`---' hjw
%
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/__o/ \___| _/ / x( \/ '-,__
_// \__ __/\ \ x\ |______\
\ \> \ \ \ |
// | \__ \ '-'
/ /
\___( I HAVE RESTLESS LEG SYNDROME
/_/ (IT KEEPS KICKING FUCKING FAGGOTS)
/ O \
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\_____) b'ger
%
_ _{Ss NOT ONLY A BLOG OR A WHORE BUT A BLOG WHORE (BLORE)
//\\_/_/\Ss
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%
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.' -' _>.- / `. `. ,,_
/ .' \ / `-. `-'/_ IF YOU LIKE PINA COLADAS
L .' / `-_.-_/
/ \ / .' `-.
\__`. | .' `. AND WHISKEY AND LAGERS AND TEQUILA AND VODKA AND
`-.____.-| .' >- ) MALT LIQUOR AND WHISKY AND SPICED RUM AND SHERRY
`-.< `-./_ | AND COGNACS AND BOURBON AND BRANDY AND BEERS AND
//__ (\ `--..____/' CHAMPAGNE AND PORT AND ALL KINDS OF MIXED DRINKS
|| `-' `._ MAYBE EVEN DAQUIRIS OR SOMETHING FAGGY LIKE THAT
`\ `. `:_
a:f `-.__ `-=.> ) BUT NEVER EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER GIN
`-.____/ THEN THERE IS A GOOD CHANCE YOU'RE A PROPERLY
FUNCTIONING HUMAN BEING AFTER ALL
%
_____ ____
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.#######################.
.############################.
.################################.
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.####+.' ,'# ##' # # # #`#`.`#####::#### I'VE GOT THIS TERRIBLE
####' # '##' # #_'# #.## `#######;## CASE OF THE RON PAULSY
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_.._.-..-._
.-' .' /\ \`._ DON'T BE A SQUANDERBUG
/ / .' `-.\ `.
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%
(>, oo
/ 8 "} > @ <
|`.8 .-._/| WHAT'S THE CORRELATION BETWEEN DANCING
`-.'`')`_.' IDIOTS AND HOUSE PAYMENTS ANYWAY
) /
/ |__,
| ( /
.' , /
`._/ '`-
\|
-- -`' - --- VK/ejm
%
_.---._
.'"".'/|\`.""'. I'M A PISS CLAM
: .' / | \ `. :
'.' / | \ `.'
`. / | \ .' OPEN ME UP AND INSTEAD OF A PEARL
jgs `-.__|__.-' YOU DISCOVER ____
%
_ ,-, _
,--, /: :\/': :`\/: :\
|`; ' `,' `.; `: | I HAVE RESTLESS FIST SYNDROME
| | | ' | |.
| : | | pb | ||
| :. | : | : | : | \
\__/: :.. : :.. | :.. | )
`---',\___/,\___/ /'
`==._ .. . /'
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%
__)),
//_ _) CHRONIC MASTURBATOR -- IS THAT SOMEONE WHO ONLY
( "\" MASTURBATES WHILE ON THE CHRONIC ?!?!?!?!?!
\_-/
,---/ '---.
/ - - \
/ \_. _|__,/ \
/ )\ )\_ \
/ _/ ( ' ) / /
/ | (_____) | / BECAUSE IF SO I DON'T THINK THAT'S ME
/,' / \/ /,
_/(_ ( ._, )-'
`--,/ |____|__|
| ) |
| / |
| / \ |
/ `| | _)
| | | |
| / \ |
| | \ | DESPITE WHAT THOSE DOCTORS SAID
| \ | \_
gnv /__( '-._`,
%
,,==="""""""===,,
,==""' |\ | /\ `""==, AREN'T CANADIANS FUNNY
,="'|\ | \| /__\ /\ `"=,
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/" ," | `\/ /| "\
/' | , /",| `\
/' ",/" | `\
/' I=I=I ,d8ba,___ `\
/' I=8=8=8=I_I_ 88888P""" `\
| ~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-,aad888ba,8888,-~-~-~-~-~-~ |
| ~-~-~-~-~-~-,ad888888888888888b-~-~-~-~-~-~ |
\ ~-~-~-~-~,ad8888888888888888888-~-~-~-~-~-~ /
`\ -~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~- /'
`\ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~,-,~~~~~ /'
`\ /"\ 1 9 9 4 \ /\ /'
`\ "\,/' |\ `\ ` /'
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`"=,_ \__/ |__ |__ | ,="' IT'S ALMOST LIKE THEY'VE
NV `""=,__ __,=""' CONVINCED THEMSELVES THAT
``""=========""'' THEY'RE REAL PEOPLE AND EVERYTHING
%
\\\ THINKGEEK !!!!!!!!!!
(oO)
/C \ THINKGEEK !!!!!!!!!!
/__/\\
\\__// THINKGEEK !!!!!!!!!!
__> U<__
MP _\/_ THINKGEEK !!!!!!!!!!
THINKGEEK !!!!!!!!!!
JESUS CHRIST SHUT THE FUCK UP
WE'RE ALL TIRED OF HEARING ABOUT HOW WONDERFUL ALL THE

POINTLESS, STUPID, SILLY, EXPENSIVE SHIT THEY SELL IS
ENOUGH ALREADY
%
/;
/ |'-,.
/ ' `"---,.__
/ ' ,' , '"--,"|
/ ' , ,' ,"::|
/ ' ,' , ,"::::|
/ ' , ,' ,"::::::L I'LL TELL YOU WHAT
/ ' ,' ,' ,"::::::::L
/ ' , , ,":::::::::J
k-,._ ,' _.":::::::::::J
\. `"----'"".J::::::::::::| ALL THIS EXCITED TALK ABOUT HARRY POTTER
\. .-, .L:::::::::::| BOOKS AND MOVIES AND ABOUT HOW CHARACTERS
\. ( .J:::::::::::! ARE SECRETLY GAY SURE GETS MY NOTICE
\. `-- .L:::::::::/
\. .-. .|::::::::/ AND MAKES ME NEVER WANT TO UNDER ANY
\. ( ) .J:::::::/ CIRCUMSTANCES READ OR WATCH ANY OF THOSE
\. `-' .L:::::/ FUCKING THINGS
\. L .|::::/
\. !__ .J:::/ GET LIVES PEOPLE
\. __ .L:/
\. L_) .|/ SIGNED, THE GUY WHO WRITES SWEAR WORDS
kth `-,__,-' ON ASCII ART
%
____ ____
_,',--.`-. _,',--.`-.
<_ ( () ) > ( <_ ( () ) >
`-:__;,-' \ À:__:,-'
\ / \
(( ) I FART TEARS
\-'
\
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Shrimod ( )
`-'"`-----'
%
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.g$$$$SSSSSp.
d$$$$SSSS$SSSSb IT IS QUITE POSSIBLE THAT CONSOLE GAMER FAGS
:$$$SSS$$$SSP:SSb WOULDN'T KNOW A GOOD FIRST PERSON SHOOTER IF
$$$SS$$$SSP' $SS; IT CAME UP BEHIND THEM, SAID "I'M A GOOD
$$S$$SSS^" :SS$ FIRST PERSON SHOOTER," AND THEN RAPED THEM
:$$SSS^( .-- :$S$
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; / : :
: / : :
%
_.--._
,' `.
/ __) __` \ WHY IS KEVIN SMITH STILL ALLOWED TO BREATHE AIR
( (`-`(-') )
/) \ _ / (
/' )-._.' . \ ___
( ,--., `.)___(___)
)( /-.,--'\ _ \X/`
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/ / \ `/,-' )
( ^ , ,^ )`._.'
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( ."-.
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/ `._/ :
/ | ' YES THIS IS EXACTLY HOW I PICTURE HIM
/ /| /
/ | /
%
///\\\\
--_ // \\
\ \ /// \\
\ \ // ///\\ \
--___ //////\\\\ | \ /// // \ \
\ /// \\\\\\\ | // // \ \
\/// \\\\\\\/// / \ \
// / \ \
/ / \ \
// // \ \
// / \ \
/ / \ // \ \
// \ \ / // \ /
/ / \ / / / /
/ ///\\\\\ \ / | |/// / /
// // \\| /\\\ /// / / /
/ // / / \\\\/// / / / /
/ // / / / / / /
/ / / _/ / _/ / /
/ / / / /__/ / /
\ \ /__/ / /
\ \ _/ /
\ \ __/ /
\ \ ___/ /
\ \_ __---/ ___/
\ ---_____ __---/ __/
\______----- / _____---
/ ___/
/ /
| O \
/ /|
/ / / NOTE TO SELF:
CF / / /
|m/\_/ DON'T QUIT DAY JOB
_ IN FACT:
//
__/ / GIVE UP HOBBY
_-- /
/ _-\ \
- / \\
/ /
/ | |\
\ -__| \
\ / |_
\ ----___
\__ o_-\
---__\ /__
/ /___--/
/_/
%
__,,,,_
_ __..-;''`--/'/ /.',-`-. TIME TO MASTURBATE
(`/' ` | \ \ \\ / / / / .-'/`,_ (TO KEEP THE TIGERS AWAY)
/'`\ \ | \ | \| // // / -.,/_,'-,
/<7' ; \ \ | ; ||/ /| | \/ |`-/,/-.,_,/')
/ _.-, `,-\,__| _-| / \ \/|_/ | '-/.;.\'
`-` f/ ; / __/ \__ `/ |__/ |
`-' | -| =|\_ \ |-' | IT'S ALWAYS WORKED BEFORE I SEE
__/ /_..-' ` ),' // NO REASON THIS TREND WON'T
fL ((__.-'((___..-'' \__.' CONTINUE INTO THE LGHA LIHYSL
OH GOD MY SPLEEN GLALIY SKH
AGLZAIE ILKHR LKHSDFLKIS
%
,-------------------.
,' ; I'M A 9/11 TRUTHER
,' .'|
,' .'# |
,' .'# # |888
:-------------------.'# # # |)(888) - - \
| # # # # # # # # # | # # # |8888)(8) \ . ,
| # # # # # # # # # | # # # |88)(88) \ - . \
' | # # # # # # # # # | # # # |8)(88) = \ -
| / - , # ####### # # # # | # # # |(8) . / - \ ,
- / , . ############# # # | # # # | ] _ \ , -
\ - , "################# | # # # |
- . / \ /############## # | # # # |
. - / # # # # # # # | # # # | OH YOU MEAN THEY CAUGHT IT ON VIDEO
| # # # # # # # # # | # # # |
| # # # # # # # # # | # # # | OH THAT CHANGES EVERYTHING
| # # # # # # # # # | # # #
| # # # # # # # # # | # # GOLLY
| # # # # # # # # # | #
metallo | # # # # # # # # # |
%
T \`. T
| T .--------------.___________) \ | T
! | |//////////////|___________[ ] ! T |
! `--------------' ) ( | !
mn '-' !
IF I HAD A HAMMER
I'D DROP IT ON THE STROGG (HAMMER MISSILE DEPLOYABLE, YOU SEE)

%
________
/________\
//( ( ( ( \\
|| <o> <o>((|| FINALLY
||) ) ` ) )||
|| (\___( ( ||
\|) ) \)_|/
/ ((\_v_/ \ JOHN TRAVOLTA IN DRAG
/ /) x \ \
| | x | |
| \ x / |
| | x | | THIS IS WHAT I'VE WAITED MY WHOLE LIFE TO SEE
| |\ x /| |
| |/\ x /\| |
| | \x/ | |
| | V | |
/____\ /____\
| | | |
/ \ / \
| | | |
`~~| |~~'
|\ /|
| \ / |
|___V___|
| / \ |
| / \ |
|/ \|
/ \
/ \
______/ \_______
============================
Alyssa
%
_ _
//\ /\\
// \______ / \\
// / \ \\
// / \ \\ I'M SELF-DEFENESTRATING
// / sSSSs \ \\
//_ / sSSSsSs \ _\\
//`_\ Ss. . s /_,\\
// \` Ss\ _ /Ss , / \\
// / \ \sSs_) (_sSs/ / \ \\
// / \_|_ \ / _|_/ \ \\
\\ / sS\ _^_ /ss \ //
\\/ ) ( \//
`==========================='
drx/ejm
%
, | ,
\ /
,,_--_,
\./ ,// _ _\ \./ HMM I WONDER HOW WE CAN MAKE THESE PRESIDENTIAL
;;\ // x x /;;; DEBATES EVEN MORE RIDICULOUS ??!?!?!?!?!?
\ \ | _\ / /
\ \ \ o / / / OR HOW ABOUT PERHAPS EVEN LESS CREDIBLE OR
\ `-'\__/-' / USEFUL TO WATCH ?!?!?!?!?!?
\ \/ /
| /\ |
| |//||
| \/ |
.--'-----'-----.
/| |
/ | | I KNOW LET'S FUCKING ADD YOUTUBE
| | ,d888b, |
| | J8888888L | :F_P:
| | 888888888 |
%
.__ _..._
/,-./'.--. ``\.
/|/.--./`.o/ /`;\\
|||\ _ `-'_` o|/|| I KEEP A LITTLE BOTTLE OF GIN
||\\`.`.__`Y8P_,\|| IN MY DESK DRAWER JUST TO REMIND ME
\\|| `"\"""/---'|| HOW FUCKING AWFUL IT IS
\\| ,-' `.||//
\(-'_ `.
,-' [_] .-. \
; `\| ||-'/ ` \
\ /`""-.`\ | ; |
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; .' `\' ;
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: / / :
: _.'`.__.' | fsc
\ _.' \ /
| | / `---.._
| `\ `.____ \
/ | `------'
\__|_,'
%
\ , I'M RICHARD STALLMAN AND I DON'T WEAR SHOES IN PUBLIC
l\ ,/ BECAUSE NO ONE TAUGHT ME HOW TO BEHAVE
._ `|] /j
`\\, \|f7 _,/'
"`=,k/,x-'
,z/fY-=-
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' \itz OR WASH FOR THAT MATTER
%
__.
/-7 k
.-' o.-'/
/ .; \ I AM FULL OF PIZZA AND DREAD
( [ )
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;/ \ )
\ (/
) | AsH
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%
o Ò Oo ò O o.OOoOoo O o OooOOo.
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o o O o O O O Ò O O
O. o O o o o O o o
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O. .O o o O O O o . O
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tQn
FACEBOOK IS RUN BY THE CIA
%
________________________
/' `\
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/ dSSSSSSSSSS/|\SSSSSSSSSSSb \
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`-------------------------------------------'
AMAZING HOW JASMIN ST. CLAIRE HAS FINALLY MOVED UP IN THE WORLD:
FROM A THIRD-RATE PORN STAR (WITH EXTRA EMPHASIS ON ANAL)

TO A PROFESSIONAL WRESTLER
WELL I'M NOT REALLY SURE THAT'S A MOVE UP ACTUALLY
AS IT'S PROBABLY ABOUT THE SAME EXCEPT WITH MORE ANAL

%
_,...,_
.'@/~~~\@'. EVEN HEADBUTTS CANNOT KEEP ME WATCHING SOCCER
//~~\___/~~\\
|@\__/@@@\__/@|
|@/ \@@@/ \@|
\\__/~~~\__//
'.@\___/@.' jgs
`"""""`
%
( ANAL CREAMPIE IS NOT A FOOD SIR
)
__..---..__
,-=' / | \ `=-.
:--..___________..--;
RR \.,_____________,./ BOY HOWDY DID I LEARN THAT THE HARD WAY
%
\\\\\_____________________\"-._
jgs /////~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~/.-'
IS THERE ANY REASON GOD HASN'T

RUBBED OUT ELLEN DEGENERES YET
I'VE SENT EMAILS TO HIM AND EVERYTHING

%
_,
^(o.).__. WHY CAN'T I GET INTO WRESTLING ?!?!?!?!?!?
/ , o o)
/ ù-u',._/
( _\ \ `|-|
----`.__)------| |-------
`-' Ojo98 OH RIGHT BECAUSE I HAVE A BRAIN AND A PENIS
%
___
\\||
,'_,-\ WHY DON'T WE JUST CRUCIFY EVERYBODY WE DON'T LIKE
;'____\
|| =\=| IT WORKED FOR THE ROMANS THEREFORE IT WILL WORK FOR US
|| - |
,---'._--''-,,---------.--.----_,
/ `-._- _--/,,| ___,,--'--'._<
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>-._ `-._,,;
jrei |/,,`-._ `-.
|, ,;, ,`-._\ (OTHERWISE KNOWN AS PROPOSITION 23, ROCK THE VOTE)
%
.------.
.------. |A . | OKAY WELL HIGH STAKES POKER IS DONE FOR
|A_ _ | .------; / \ | THE SEASON SO THERE'S NOTHING LEFT FOR
|( \/ )|-----. _ |(_,_) | ME TO DO EXCEPT BEAT OFF AND PUNCH HOOKERS
| \ / | /\ |( ) | I A|
| \/ A|/ \ |_x_) |------'
`-----+'\ / | Y A| (NOT IN THAT ORDER)
| \/ A|-----'
hjw `------'
%
_________________________
|| || || ||
|| ||, , ,|| ||
|| (||/|/(\||/ ||
|| ||| _'_`||| || EXECUTE YOUR TEMPORIZATION BUT ABOVE ALL PLEASE
|| || o o || || ENSURE THAT THE SITUATION DOES NOT REVERSE ITSELF
|| (|| - `||) ||
|| || = || ||
ScS || ||\___/|| ||
||___||) , (||___||
/||---||-\_/-||---||\
/ ||--_||_____||_--|| \
(_(||)-| S123-45 |-(||)_)
%
( !!
b''-_ MAYBE THE REASON SPACE GIRAFFE DIDN'T DO WELL AT ALL
|d-=" IS BECAUSE IT'S AN UNORIGINAL, BORING, OBNOXIOUS,
b| BLINKY PIECE OF SHIT CREATED BY A NO-TALENT JOKE OF
|d A FUR-WEARING WASTE OF A FAGGOT
o |
/ o
/ o d
/O o o\
/ bd b \
* |d | \
ejm96 o| | \ OR DOES THAT POSSIBILITY NOT ENTER INTO IT AT ALL
|| | \
'' ' '
%
+ \\^// ~~
1 III ,o/ </> [#] (#) </> ,o/ III 1
_[#]__[#]__(#)_[_#_](_#_)_(#)__[#]__[#]_
::::: ::::: ::::: ::::: SEARCHING FOR
2 _ _ _ _ _ _ _ 2 BOBBY FISCHER'S
_(#)__(#)__(#)__(#)_ _(#)__(#)__(#)_ CORPSE
::::: ::::: ::::: :::::
3::::: ::::: ::::: ::::: 3
::::: ::::: ::::: :::::
::::: ::::: ::::: :::::
4 ::::: ::::: _ ::::: :::::4
::::: :::::_(#)_::::: :::::
::::: ::::: ::::: :::::
5::::: ::::: ::::: ::::: 5
::::: ::::: ::::: :::::
::::: ::::: ::::: :::::
6 ::::: ::::: ::::: :::::6
::::: ::::: ::::: :::::
::::: ::::: ::::: :::::
7 _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ 7
_(_)__(_)__(_)__(_)__(_)__(_)__(_)__(_)_
+ \\^//
8 III ,o/ </> [ ] ( ) </> ,o/ III 8
_[_]__[_]__(_)_[___](___)_(_)__[_]__[_]_
H G F E D C B A
%
(\
\'\ I USE THE WORD "KERFUFFLE" AS OFTEN AS POSSIBLE
\'\ __________
/ '| ()_________)
\ '/ \ ~~~~~~~~ \
\ \ ~~~~~~ \ BECAUSE IT MAKES ME SOUND SOPHISTICATED AND
==). \__________\ KNOWLEDGEABLE AND ALSO LIKE A HOMO
(__) ()__________)
%
_ DO TWITTER FANS CALL THEMSLEVES "TWITS"
, L\ BECAUSE IF SO THAT WOULD BE APPRPORIATE
\/OO\
|/ \ OH NO WAIT I'VE GOT IT:
/_\ `
AP _\ |_ "TWATS"
%
I CAN'T QUIT Y--
.-~*~--,. .-.
.-~-. ./OOOOOOOOO\.'OOO`9~~-.
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/OOOO@@@OO@@@OO@@@OOO@@@@@@@@OOOO`.
|OO@@@WWWW@@@@OOWWW@WWWW@@@@@@@OOOO).
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/OOO@@O@@@@W@@@@@OOWWWWWOOWOO@@@OOO@@@OO|
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\OOO@@@OOO@@@@@@OOW\ \WWWW@@@@@@@O'.
`,OO@@@OOOOOOOOOOWW\ \WWWW@@@@@@OOO)
\,O@@@@@OOOOOOWWWWW\ \WW@@@@@OOOO.'
`~c~8~@@@@WWW@@W\ \WOO|\UO-~'
(OWWWWWW@/\W\ ___\WO)
`~-~'' \ \WW=*'
__\ \
\ \
\ __\ KERPOW
\ \
\ \
\ \
\\
\\
\
\
HUHHHHHHHHHHHH (EXPIRES)
%
,
_cc,
'.())(((c
(((((()(c
'(((('_ _' I THINK I HAVE AN ECTOPIC PREGNANCY
`((( \
(`\ -
' ) ( __
_.-' ' `.
/ , -' \
L ` .
\ / ` |
`c ) c ) J
.\__. `---': |
\__ \, | L
/`\\\> L |
/ / J
L c ' /
\ / /\
\-.__.' .' .
|`-___.'
a:f : `8P /
: .' /
` / .'
/ .' OTHERWISE KNOWN AS A BIG SHIT I'VE BEEN PUTTING OFF
. .'
L ' COME ON LADIES
\` `
SUCK IT UP AND STOP COMPLAINING
%
,,,,,
\ e e\
C _\/ |\\,
)\_) \_ / THOMPSON '08
_/|/_ _//
,'\ ~ /'-,_/ \
/ \_/ / /
, | \_._,-"
( < _'
| \ \
', -',-~.-'
_/ ) |
|// | '
' ) |
| | | WHAT
._., - |.,_ //
_\-' )___|__|_ '-._ OH
b'ger /____\__\
WATERSTON '08 THEN
%
+
(|)
_____.___.|_|. WEIRD
| / \ |===|
| / \ | o |
|__/__v__\|, ,|
| | | | | || || HOW COME MORE BLACK FOLKS AREN'T MORMONS
|/| . . . |','|
||| A A A | , |
||| M M M | | wtx
---------------------
%
.---. .---.
/ .-. `. .' .-. \
/-( `. `._______.' .' )-\
( ) \ / ( )
`-' \ / `-'
\ /
\ /
VK |`-^-'| I'M THE UNITED NATIONS MESSENGER OF URINE
| |
%
_.,-----/=\-----,._
(__ ~~~"""""""~~~ __)
| ~~~"""""""""~~~ |
| | ; , , ; | | OKAY FOLKS !!!!!
| | | | | | | |
| | | | | | | |
| | | | | | | | UNIVERSAL COMBAT IS FINALLY A FREEWARE RELEASE !!!!!!
| | | | | | | |
| | | | | | | |
| | | | | | | | FINALLY MY DREAMS HAVE COME TRUE
| | | | | | | |
|. \_| | | |_/ .|
`-,.__ ~~~ __.,-'
DF ~~~~~
%
__,,,,_
_ __..-;''`--/'/ /.',-`-. TIME TO MASTURBATE
(`/' ` | \ \ \\ / / / / .-'/`,_
/'`\ \ | \ | \| // // / -.,/_,'-,
/<7' ; \ \ | ; ||/ /| | \/ |`-/,/-.,_,/')
/ _.-, `,-\,__| _-| / \ \/|_/ | '-/.;.\'
`-` f/ ; / __/ \__ `/ |__/ |
`-' | -| =|\_ \ |-' | IT KEEPS THE TIGERS AWAY
__/ /_..-' ` ),' //
fL ((__.-'((___..-'' \__.' OR SO FAR IT HAS A 100% SUCCESS RATE
%
_..._
,' `. DON'T HATE MY HATERATION
,' `.
,' _ ,-. `.
| (_) `-' |
| > |
| ,----. |
| /,-""-.\ |
`. |/ " ,'
`. ,'
Krogg `._____,'
%
,( ,( ,( ,( ,( ,( ,( ,(
`-' `-' `-' `-' `-' `-' `-' `-' `
ATTACK SUSTAIN RELEASE MOLEST

%
, ."". ,
, # |()| # , OKAY
_#_#___|__|___#_#__
[__________________] NEXT PERSON RUNNING FOR PRESIDENT THAT SAYS THE
|-_ -=__=-_ -==_-| WORD "CHANGE" IN A SPEECH WITHOUT SPECIFICS GETS
|_.------------.=| THIS HOT POKER TO THE DONG AND/OR TWAT
|=| o o |=|
_|-| ! `( ! |-|_ (INCLUDING BOTH POSSIBILITIES BECAUSE OF HUCKABEE)
/==_| ! _(_.)_ ! |=_-\
|jgs|/^\^=^^=^/^\| _=|
%
/;
/ |'-,.
/ ' `"---,.__
/ ' ,' , '"--,"|
/ ' , ,' ,"::| OLD ENOUGH TO READ, OLD ENOUGH TO BLEED
/ ' ,' , ,"::::|
/ ' , ,' ,"::::::L
/ ' ,' ,' ,"::::::::L
/ ' , , ,":::::::::J
k-,._ ,' _.":::::::::::J
\. `"----'"".J::::::::::::|
\. .-, .L:::::::::::|
\. ( .J:::::::::::!
\. `-- .L:::::::::/
\. .-. .|::::::::/
\. ( ) .J:::::::/
\. `-' .L:::::/
\. L .|::::/ ISN'T THAT HOW THAT SAYING GOES
\. !__ .J:::/
\. __ .L:/
\. L_) .|/
`-,__,-' kth
%
-|
-' | WOULDN'T IT BE GREAT IF BASKETBALL
-' | __ DIDN'T FUCKING SUCK DONKEY DICKS
==wkm=====|'\/ ()
/|
Ò
/`
: REGRETTABLY WE DO NOT LIVE IN SUCH A WORLD
/\
\ \
` `
____________________________________
///\\\///\\\///\\\///\\\///\\\///\\\
%
|
--====|====--
|
.-"""""-. WHEN I CAME HOME FROM MY TRIP MY
.'_________'. WANG WAS CRYING OUT FOR ATTENTION
/_/_|__|__|_\_\ SO I BEAT IT BACK (OFF)
;'-._ _.-';
,--------------------| `-. .-' |--------------------,
``""--..__ ___ ; ' ; ___ __..--""``
jgs `"-// \\.._\ /_..// \\-"`
\\_// '._ _.' \\_//
`"` ``---`` `"`
%
,,
,, ,\\//,
,\\//, ,\\\///, ,, SITTING UP LATE EATING FUNYUNS AND
,\\\///, \\\\//// ,\\//, WATCHING RERUNS OF FOREVER KNIGHT
\\\\//// \\\/// ,\\\///,
\\\/// ###### \\\\////
###### ////\\\\ \\\///
////\\\\ /////\\\\\######
/////\\\\\//////\\\\////\\\\
//////\\\\\\/,///\\\/////\\\\\
//////_?_\\\\(_) //////\\\\\\,
.'`---`'. _j_///////\\\\\(_)
/.'a a \.'`---`'.
|: ^ /.'d\ /b \
\' www |: ^ | LIKE A USELESS TOOL
'._____.'\' VVV /
jgs '._____.'
%
___________
\ /
)_______(
|"""""""|_.-._,.---------.,_.-._
| | | | | | ''-.
| |_| |_ _| |_..-'
|_______| '-' `'---------'` '-'
)"""""""(
/_________\ IN THE PRIMARIES LET'S VOTE FOR PEOPLE WHO'VE
`'-------'` ALREADY CLEARLY DROPPED OUT SHOWING THAT WE'RE
.-------------. NOT EVEN PAYING ATTENTION TO WHAT'S GOING ON AND
jgs/_______________\ THUS SHOULD HAVE OUR VOTING RIGHTS REVOKED
%
o o o
o o /
\ | / o _____
o | / __ /~~~\/`____
`\ /,-~ `~-_|/_ \`
-----------------------------< ~ ` ;
/ \ `~-___,-/``\ /
/ | \ n / /
POINT FOUR OF o` | o /`~~` /
ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS o /` /
IS THAT YOU SHOULDN'T o /` \ \
MENTION IT TO ANYONE OUTSIDE /` /`\`\
OF AA BECAUSE THEY'LL NOT / / `\`\
BE INTERESTED IN YOUR | / `\`\ /
FUCKING PROBLEMS / ~~`
OR AT LEAST THAT WOULD BE THE

FOURTH POINT IF I WERE IN CHARGE
%
---_ ......._-_--.
(|\ / / /| \ \
/ / .' -=-' `.
/ / .' ) SNAKES
_/ / .' _.) /
/ o o _.-' / .' ON
\ _.-' / .'*|
\______.-'// .'.' \*| A
\| \ | // .'.' _ |*|
` \|// .'.'_ _ _|*| SPACECRAFT OF SOME KIND ?!?!?!?!?!?!?!
. .// .'.' | _ _ \*|
\`-|\_/ / \ _ _ \*\
`/'\__/ \ _ _ \*\
/^| \ _ _ \*
' ` \ _ _ \
ASH+VK \_
%
\ /
\ /
| . | OBEY MY PANTALOONS
|----------|
|--. .--|
| \__/ |
| || |
| || |
_|__ || __|_
( '-++-' )
( - .. . )
( _ -/\ . - )
(. _ )( __ )
(____)(____)
.----` || '----.
RS (_________)(____rs___)
%
,--.!, HEY I BEAT OFF TO ISIS NILE IN THE MID-90S

__/ -*- SO THAT JUST PROVES I HARBOR NO PREJUDICE
,d08b. '|` AGAINST MIDDLE EASTERNERS
0088MM
`9MMP' THE BOMB-THROWING FUCKS THAT THEY ARE
hjm
%
.-----.
,' - - `.
_ _____/ <q> <p> \_____ _
/_|| ||`-._____.-`|| ||-\ WHERE DID MY DAY GO
/ _||===|| ||===|| _\
|- _||===||===========||===||- _|
\___||___||___________||___||___/
\\|/// \_:_:_:_:_:_/ \\\|//
| _| |_________| | _|
| _| /( ======= )\ | _|
\\||// /\ `-.___.-' /\ \\||//
(o ) /_ '._______.' _\ ( o)
/__/ \ | _| |_ _| / \__\
///\_/ |_ _| | _| \_/\\\
///\\_\ \ _/ \ _/ /_//\\\
\\|//_/ ///|\\\ ///|\\\ \_\\|//
\\\|/// \\\|///
/- _\\ // _\
| _|| ||- _| I JUST SAT DOWN TO PLAY SOME
,/\____|| || ___/\, SUPREME COMMANDER A MINUTE AGO
/|\___`\,| |,/'___/|\
|||`.\\ \\ // //,'|||
\\\\_//_// \\_\\_//// LGB/fsc
%
,"=-.
/ _),`'".
( /a( ), ) IF YOU'RE LIKE ME
) C = = ?/
( )) (_ o-<
) ( `-' \; ( \_
( | \ ) )| \_/} YOU BEAT OFF TO MILF PORN
\ \ \(_;/-|_)
)/) `._,--/ /
/ `!__!!
( (_o)) AND THEN FEEL BAD ABOUT IT
---`-._, )---
------( / |----
| ( |
:__/|\_;
\ |/
)(\_
/_)--`
gpyy \_!
%
////
!!!! _ \\\\ MY BONER HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST MY RIGHT HAND
! -'/ _ ||||
\ / \`-'''|
\__| \ /
) | \__\_ SO TONIGHT I'M PUNISHING IT LEFTY
ejm / | \ (
\
%
/ \ \ / \
| | \ | |
| `. | | :
` | | \| |
\ | / / \\\ --__ \\ :
\ \/ _--~~ ~--__| \ |
\ \_-~ ~-_\ |
\_ \ _.--------.______\| |
\ \______// _ ___ _ (_(__> \ |
\ . C ___) _______ (_(____> | /
/\ | C ____)/ \ (_____> |_/
/ /\| C_____)| | (___> / \
| ( _C_____)\_______/ // _/ / \
| \ |__ \\_________// (__/ |
| \ \____) `---- --' |
| \_ ___\ /_ _/ |
| / | | \ |
| | / \ \ |
| / / | | \ |
| / / \__/\___/ | |
| / / | | | |
| | | | | |
AT THE VERY LEAST THE PORN INDUSTRY HAS

INTRODUCED US ALL TO THE CONCEPT OF "GAPE"
AND THAT'S REALLY NOTHING TO BE ASHAMED OF
%
______
(__ __)
|| mbfh THE WHISKEY CORK GOES: POONK
/__\
\
\
\ WHO CARES WHAT THE DUMB COW OR PIG SAYS
\
|
%
.---. .---.
,';' `.';' `..
f :Bo. SIX SHOT DEAD INCLUDING GUNMAN !!!!
` d88:
`\ /d88P'
`\ ; /d888P'
`. ',d8&8P'
: ;d8&7' LET'S HEAR IT FOR GUN FREE ZONES
| :8: BECAUSE CLEARLY THEY REALLY WORK
| qx
%
OKAY I'D LIKE TO AMEND MY PREVIOUS
"GOD HELP ME" REGARDING ALLAH
_________________ NOT BEING SIMILARLY INCLINED
|'-========OoO===='-. __
| ||'-.____'-.'-.____'-. (**\ SERIOUSLY IT'S NOT WHAT YOU THINK
| || | | | | -.' \ IT'S BECAUSE I KEEP SENDING ALLAH
'-| | | | | , .` LETTERS, FOLLOWING HIM HOME FROM
'-|______|__|______| /__| WORK AND LEAVING UNWANTED PRESENTS
// || FOR HIM AND THAT'S WHY HE FILED A
-' -' RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST ME
%
__.^^^.__
| |'.'| |
, | _.\=/._ | VOTE RON PAUL
/( |( )|
( \||\. ./|| .
(\\ |\ | | /| )\
)`, ===|_._|===V ),
/ /( | |/ \| | (// ,
( | (| | |) | ( /(
\ ,| ( | ) | , )( )
) /(=========== )\/ )/
/ ( \ )\_|_/ |/ \ '
( ) V \|_> / ) TO REALLY STEP ON YOUR OWN DICK YOU FUCKING MORON
) / `\/ (
( \
%
________
/ ______ \
|| _ _ || THE BEST PART OF NOT BEING MARRIED ?!?!?!?!?!?
||| || |||
|||_||_||| NEVER HAVING TO TELL THE COPS THAT SHE RAN INTO A DOOR
|| _ _o||
||| || |||
|||_||_||| ^~^ ,
||______|| ('Y') )
/__________\ / \/
________|__________|__ (\|||/) _________
hjw /____________\
|____________|
%
I CELEBRATED GEORGE WASHINGTON'S BIRTHDAY BY DEALING WITH
INCOMPETENTS
,, WHICH I'M SURE IS MOSTLY WHAT HE DID THROUGHOUT HIS LIFE

;;'} SO I GUESS IT SEEMS LIKE REASONABLE TRIBUTE
,""",
| \ \_ ôo^,-----.
| `--"` (..) ) )&
|___| . ôo^,-""""`.`| )( )
(( | (..) ) )&( ^..^,-"""-.
|| ) `--'.| )_( ) (..) ) )&
||_| . . |( )) `--'| )_( )
jrei LL-.> . .. |( ))
%
__________ __,___/ ",",
___.--" "\'. ____/ l \ ",'-,
------f" // \\\ \ (l\ \ \ \ \",
| ||| / u | \ \ \
| ||| _ ) / | | \
----L_-XXX-. .|' / U < | | |
"\ -<_____/// \ 6 ) | | |
\___) -" '. -.<" / / |
|'.___ | _._." /
DEAR MRS. OBAMA | ./ _."." _."
PLEASE SHUT UP / |"----" _."
SIGNED, MR. OBAMA jjs \
%
__________ __,___/ ",",
___.--" "\'. ____/ l \ ",'-,
------f" // \\\ \ (l\ \ \ \ \",
| ||| / u | \ \ \
| ||| _ ) / | | \
----L_-XXX-. .|' / U < | | |
"\ -<_____/// \ 6 ) | | |
\___) -" '. -.<" / / |
|'.___ | _._." /
DEAR MR. CLINTON | ./ _."." _."
PLEASE SHUT UP / |"----" _."
SIGNED, MRS. CLINTON jjs \
%
_____
_.'_____`._
.'.-' 12 `-.`. OKAY I'VE THOUGHT A LOT ABOUT THE POSSIBILITY
/,' 11 1 `.\ OF TIME TRAVEL AS CRAZY AS THAT SOUNDS
// 10 / 2 \\
;; / :: BUT ONE THING'S FOR DAMN SURE
|| 9 ----O 3 ||
:: ;; IF I BUMPED INTO A TIME-TRAVELLING VERSION
\\ 8 4 // OF MYSELF, BOY HOWDY I'D FUCK HIM BUT GOOD
\`. 7 5 ,'/
'.`-.__6__.-'.' BECAUSE THEN IT'S TOTALLY NOT GAY, IT'S NO
((-._____.-)) DIFFERENT FROM MASTURBATING REALLY
_)) ((_
'--'SSt '--' SO IT'S COMPLETELY FREE
%
, ,
\y ,--.y/
/,---. )\
/ (((\\)\ \ DO YOU THINK ANYONE WOULD TRULY NOTICE IF
\ \\-_/ / / I SORT OF KIDNAPPED GIANNA MICHAELS
\ i i / AND THEN SHOVED HER UP MY ASS
(_)=(_)
) . (
/\---/\
/ )-( \
/ / \ \
/ ," ". \ I NEED A NEW TENANT
/ / \ \ (LAST ONE WAS RECENTLY EVACUATED)
hjw /-) (-\
/ ^! !^ \
%
___
//\\\\\\ ` \`..(@) '
: \\\\ (@)(@) / /(@) ,
\ ~L~ )\\\\ \ \ '$__``',.. '
/\_~ / |||| \ , | ~~~--/__ `
////| |//// // / ^\\\\
||||^ ~~~~~~--------~/ / x) // WHAT HARM COULD A
/ ( ( _____---~~~~~\| < @) LITTLE CRUSH DO
( )| / / / /( |
\^\ \____/ / \ / ~~~\ \ _ _ __
\ \/ \ \ |\\|) |~~ ~~\_ /^\/^\ \
)) ) ' ~ \__/\ / / \ \| | |
| | ` , \ \/ /- \ \ / /
|______| \ / \ \ /-/ /
| || | , ` ~~ /~~~~~~)`--''
( || | ' / / /
\ | | , < < < WELP TURNS OUT THE
\| / , \ __\\__\ CRUSH IS FOR
W< /_^|| /~___|~___| CRUSHING DEPRESSION
%
.----.-----.-----.-----.
/ \ \ \ \ I CONSIDER YOUR FIST UP MY ASS TO BE
| \/ | | __L_____L__
| | | | ( \ ILLEGAL MUPPETRY
| \___/ / \______/ |
| \___/\___/\___/ | IN THE FIRST DEGREE
\ \ / /
| __/
\_ __/
| | |
| |
| |
%
_______ PORK BUNS IN THE FIRST FLOOR BREAK ROOM
/ )
/_____ | ______ GET 'EM WHILE THEY'RE STILL UNCONSCIOUS
( ' ) / / __\ _____
|. '| / | \ | / ))
|____|/ |`-----' /_____))
cf `-----' `------'
%
.-.
(/^$ I SUGGEST TO YOU A BUSINESS VENTURE:
(\ /)
.-'-. PUNCHING HOOKERS AND TAKING THEIR MONEY (AND RUNNING)
/(_I_)\
\\) (// AFTER ALL HAS GRAND THEFT AUTO TAUGHT US NOTHING IF
/ \ NOT THAT HOOKERS ARE CASH MACHINES AND PUNCHING BAGS
\ | /
\|/ PLUS GOD EVEN CLEANS UP THEIR SPILLED BLOOD AND CORPSES
/|\ AFTER A SHORT TIME SO THERE IS NO SOCIETAL IMPACT
\|/
jgs /Y\ PLEASE BUY MY EBOOK FOR $9.95
%
~-.
,,,; ~-.~-.~-
(.../ ~-.~-.~-.~-.~-.
} o~`, ~-.~-.~-.~-.~-.~-.
(/ \ ~-.~-.~-.~-.~-.~-.~-.
; \ ~-.~-.~-.~-.~-.~-.~-.
; {_.~-.~-.~-.~-.~-.~-.~
;: .-~` ~-.~-.~-.~-.~-.
;.: :' ._ ~-.~-.~-.~-.~- THIS JUST IN:
;::`-. '-._ ~-.~-.~-.~-
;::. `-. '-,~-.~-.~-. WIKIPEDIA +
';::::.`''-.-' FOLLOWING THE RULES =
';::;;:,:' BEING A HUGE FUCKING COCK
mic '||"
/ | BASICALLY WIKIPEDIA IS A CATALYST FOR COCKNESS
~` ~"' (AS IT IS NOT CONSUMED IN THE PROCESS
OF GENERATING MORE COCKS)
%
_.---,._,'
/' _.--.<
/' `'
/' _.---._____
\.' ___, .-'`
/' \\ .
/' `-. -|-
| |
| .-'~~~`-.
| .' `.
| | R I P |
| | |
| | W F B |
jgs \ \\| |//
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
RIP WILLIAM F. BUCKLEY
YOU WERE THE GREATEST GUY TO EVER CALL GORE VIDAL A FAGGOT
%
/| /|
| \ __ _ _ / ;
___ \ \ _.-"-" `~"\ `"--' /
_.-' ""-._\ "" ._," ; "\"--._./
_.-' \./ "-""", ) ~" |
/ ,- .' , ' ò. ; )
\ ;/ ' ; /
|/ ' | \ ' |
/ | J."\ , |
" : \ .' : | ,. _)
| | / f | |`--"--'
\_ \ \ / _/ |
\ "-._ _.| ( j/; -'/
\ | "/ ( | /, | I REFUSE TO EAT THE FLESH OF ANIMALS
| \ | /\ |\_/// / OR ANYTHING THAT IS THE BYPRODUCT OF
\ / \ | \ \ / / ANIMAL LABOR IN ANY WAY SO THAT INCLUDES
|| \ \| | | | THINGS LIKE BLAH BLAH FUCKING BLAH BLAH
|| \ \ | | / STILL YAPPING EVEN THOUGH NOBODY ON THIS
|\ |_|/ || PLANET COULD GIVE A SHIT, INCLUDING ME
L \ || ||
`"' |\ |\
[nabis] ( \. \ `.
|_ _\|_ _\
" "
%
.
/ `.
`. `.
/ `. `. _,--'"`" ``"-.
`'. `. `. ,-' `".
`. `. `. .' `.
//`. `. / `,
\$_> _>" \
_(_)/,- .-. \
( _)// / | ; \
'-\ ; / '._ .-""-.-'_.' |
`. | / '._.-''-. .' ___ `'.-' /
\`-'/`"--/.-""-.\ /.-' .`'-.>-.__,--"`
`-\\ < | `>\ | / | | WHOO HOO
\\ /\ "-' |\ "-/| | .' .-.
\`'' |`'-'| ,-.`'.___.-' | | |_.', / PANTY RAID
`-'`' | | '| `| | | | | | .'||
| | | _' .,__| | . ' |/ |'
' | _/_\/__..`-.| | | .' ||
| | `\ /` | | | | f`-.__
.-. mx| | | `.__.-'. | | | | .-'_ ._)
`'` .-._ \' | | | | ' _,._.' `'`/ ; \
'-._) `'-..._____...--""` _ `-'_`-'
%
.{{}}}}}}.
{{{{{}}}}}}}.
{{{{ {{{{{}}}} IF YOU MANAGE TO PISS ON AIRBORNE
}}}}} _ _ {{{{{ EJACULATE DOES IT CREATE AN EXPLOSION
}}}} 6 6 }}}} LIKE A REAL LIFE SHOCK COMBO
{{{{C ^ {{{{
}}}}}}\ '=' /}}}}}
{{{{{{{;.___.;}}}}}}
{{{{{{{) (}}}}}}'
jgs `""'"': :'"'"'`
`@`
%
_.,_
,-'.' .`-,
;; '. ' `. ;` - _
_,-; ' ; `. ,% .-, -
,_.,-'` ';; ; : ;%' | | \
___ _._,-`'\ `'-`' _.,' `. )
__,--`-,,`' ,._,.-`-., _.,-.--.-,`''` | _| |__
`---'////\ / .-, `-`-^--`'^`-...,,| | |.,/
//$(/ `-\.-. | `-'
( .-; | | ,.
`-~ ~~-. `._.' ,/ /
`~ ~~~ ~~ /,.`)
// /
WHEN TRYING TO DRINK LESS ON A REGULAR /_ `/
BASIS THERE'S A SERIOUS DRAWBACK: ( `/ mic
YOU DON'T GET AS FUCKED UP AND SO YOU'RE BORED

%
__________ __,___/ ",",

___.--" "\'. ____/ l \ ",'-,
------f" // \\\ \ (l\ \ \ \ \",
| ||| / u | \ \ \
| ||| _ ) / | | \
----L_-XXX-. .|' / U < | | |
"\ -<_____/// \ 6 ) | | |
\___) -" '. -.<" / / |
|'.___ | _._." /
| ./ _."." _."
/ |"----" _."
jjs \
I PUNCH HOOKERS AND THEN RUN AWAY !!!!!
WHILE SAYING "BWAHAHAHA I PUNCHED YOU AND GOT AWAY WITH IT"
THOUGH THEY CAN'T HEAR ME VERY WELL SINCE
I'M RUNNING AWAY FROM THEM AT THE TIME
%
MAYBE WIKIPEDIA WILL PAY FOR *MY* VISITS TO RUSSIAN MASSAGE PARLORS
() () () ()
|| || || ||
||(=(=(=(=(=(=)=)=)=)=)=)||(=(=(=(=(=(=|=)=)=)=)=)=)||(=(=(=(=(=(=)=)=)=)=)=)||
||| : | ! ! | : | ! | : |||| : | ! ! : | : | ! | : |||| : | ! ! | : | ! | : |||
||| : | ! : | : | ! | : |||| : | ! ! | | : | ! | : |||| : | ! : | : | ! | : |||
||| | | | | | | | | | | |||| | | | : ! | | | | | | |||| | | | | | | | | | | |||
||| ! | : ! | ! | ! | ! |||| ! | : : ! | ! | ! | ! |||| ! | : ! | ! | ! | ! |||
||| | | | : | | | | | | |||| | | | ! : | | | : | | |||| | | | : | | | : | | |||
||| : | ! ! | : | : | : |||| : | ! | ! | : | ! | : |||| : | ! ! | : | ! | : |||
||| ! | : | | ! | ! | ! |||| ! | : : : | ! | : | ! |||| ! | : | | ! | : | ! |||
||| | | : ! | | | | | | |||| | | : | ! | : | : | | |||| : | : ! | : | : | | |||
||| : | | : | : | : | : |||| : | | ! | | | | | | : |||| | | | : | | | | | : |||
||| | | ! | | | | | | | |||| | | ! : : | : | : | | |||| ! | ! | | : | : | | |||
||| ! | | : | ! | ! | ! |||| ! | ! |'_,|,_,| ! | ! |||| : | | _ | !_| ! | ! |||
||| | .oooO | |Oooo.| | |||| .oooO`-/ )'( \| Oooo. |||| ! | :/ )| ( \ : | | |||
||| ! ( ) | !( )| ! |||| ( ) / ( ) \ ( ) |||| | | / ( | :) \! | ! |||
||| :_ \ (_ | /`) /`-,: |||| ,\ ( ( ) ( ) ) /! |||| :_|( ) ( )'`\: |||
||`-'/`-\_)`'` (_/ \'-`||`-'/\_)'oooO Oooo'(_/\'-`||`-'/`'oooO Oooo' `-'||
|| /_________________\ || /___________________\ || /_________________\ ||
|| |_________________| || |___________________| || |_________________| ||
|| |/| \| || |/ \| || |/ |\| ||
||__|||______________||__||__||_________________||__||__||______________|||__||_lc
|| ||| || || || || || || ||| ||
|| || || || || || || || || ||
|| || || ||
/\_ _/\_ _/\_ _/\_
YOUNG LADY MASSAGE PLZ

%
____
|| | I'M JERKING AND WORK (WHICH I CALL WERKING)
||___|
_)__<__ _ _
|____|__|:|___|:|_
| |_.---._|___|
_ | o| | | |_o_|
| || |/| |\| |
|_||____|`\___/'|___|
V
_/-\_ LET'S FACE IT I'M A WERKAHOLIC
fsc
%
_.--._
,' `.
/ __) __` \ YOUR MAMA'S SO FAT
( (`-`(-') )
/) \ _ / ( SHE ATE ME BEFORE
/' )-._.' . \ ___ I COULD FINISH
( ,--., `.)___(___) TYPING THIS SENTEN
)( /-.,--'\ _ \X/`
'/ .'/ \ ( Uu")\
/ / \ `/,-' )
( ^ , ,^ )`._.'
( `. Y .' )
\ `. )\.' / )
)`._.'=='._.' (
/ )
( ."-.
/(` -) / \
( \`-.__ -'_." `
| \`-.__.--"v" |
`.' \ |, ,
/ `._/ :
/ | '
/ /| /
/ | / Ojo/VK/FS/ejm
%
GIVE ME GAPE OR GIVE ME DEATH
/
o o
`. .'
.:;:.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.
(O) (O)o)O)o)O)o)O)o)O)
`-(..);';';';';';';';'
~~~~~~~~" " " " " " " "~~~LGB~~
%
I STARTED THIS FAGGOT SHIT
\ /
\ o ^ o /
\ ( ) /
____________(%%%%%%%)____________
( / / )%%%%%%%( \ \ )
(___/___/__/ \__\___\___)
( / /(%%%%%%%)\ \ )
(__/___/ (%%%%%%%) \___\__)
/( )\
/ (%%%%%) \
(%%%)
!
AND THIS IS THE THANKS I GET

%
LET'S TALK ABOUT THAT SO-CALLED "BLOWJOB MACHINE" YOU
BUILT AND WHY IT NEEDS GEARS THAT GRIND AND PINCH
/
((((
( )(:[
((((
%
. | .
. \ * / .
^^^^^ I WENT TO FAT SCHOOL
-- |_____| -- /
// \\ /
. (( O O )) .
)) - ((
// o \\
//- \_/ -\\
/ \__ __/ \
. V .
| ( ^ ) |
| | | |
| |) (| |
%
@..@ BIG FAT-ASS MOON-FACED
(----) BULLFROGS WITH DOWN
< I I > SYNDROME ARE NO EASIER
" " TO CATCH, FUCK
%
:
:!!!.
!!!!!> :
!?!!!!!!!!!!!`
:!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!-
!! X!!!!!!!X!!!!!!~`
'!!. :H!?!!XXM!!!!!~
'!!XMM!!!X!!X!!!!!! THE GHOST KNOCKED
!!MMX!MMHX!!!!\!!~ OVER THE
`!MMX!?MMX!!!X! BONG AGAIN
~!MMXMM!!!!%!
?MMMM!!!!!M!.
MMMMMX!!!!!!: .:
`?MMMMM!!!!!!!!!!!
'!MMMMMX!X?!!!!!!:.:
'MMMMMMX!!!!!!!!X!!:
'!MMMMMXMM!HX!M!!!M
!MMMMM!MMMMMHX!!!
'!MMMMMMMMM$@M8MH
`!!XMMMMMR8MMRMM
`!MMMM8MMMM$f".
"*MMMMRMMMX`
~*MMM$M~
`!*"
%
***
*****
******* ****
******* ******
***** **********
*** **********
**** | **********
****** | ******
****** | **
****** | /
**** | /
** | -
\ | /
\ | -
\ | /
\ | -
\|/
\\\///
\\//
IF I PISS THE BED

FOLLOW THE STANDARD PROCEDURE
%
,.~\
,-` \
\ \
\ \ YES I KNOW THIS STALL
\ \ IS OCCUPIED BUT I DON'T
\ \ CARE ABOUT YOUR STUPID
_.-------.\ \ PROBLEMS
(o| o o o | \ .-`
__||o_o_o_o|_ad-`` SCOOT OVER
|``````````````|'
| | DO IT NOW
| |
| | DO IT NOW
| |
|______________| DO IT NOW
%
__..._
,-` `',
,' \
/ | WELL I RENTED "AMERICAN GANGRAPE" AND I HAVE
,' , \ TO SAY I'M A BIT DISAPPOINTED
,' ,/-'` \
_ ./ ,.'`/ \
.-` `^\_,.'` / `\__
7 / / _,._,.,_,.-'.` `\
\A __/ ,-```-`` `, `, ` ,`)
^-` / ` ,/
( , ,_ ,-,_,<`
\__ T--` `''` ``` _,\ MOSTLY BECAUSE AFTER I STARTED WATCHING
\_/|\_ ,.-` | | IT I REALIZED I GOT THE WRONG MOVIE
_/ | |T\_ _,'Y / +--,_ AND INSTEAD WAS WATCHING "AMERICAN
<``` \_\/_/ `\\_/ / `\ GANGSTER"
/ ,-- ` _,--,_`----` _,,_ \
/ ` | <_._._ > ` \ ` \`
| | , ` | |
V| \ | | |`
\ \ / / /
\x \_ | /-` /
\ `-,| ,/--` /`
\x_ \_ /--'` , / NOT ONE GANGRAPE SCENE IN IT (FYI)
\x_ `` ,,/` ` SO STAY AWAY
`-,_,-' ,'`
Zeus _| |`\
( `-``/``/`_/ PLUS IT WAS TOO LONG
`-`-,.-.-`
%
HMMM WHAT'S BELLA_DONNA_-_BASEBALL_BAT.MPG ?????
_ ____ __
/ \ .' '. ____......------""""""""````` `\
| `::-/'-....-'\--""``` |
| :: | | |
| ,:'-\.-''''-./--..___ /
jgs \_/ '.____.' ````````````"""""""------------'
(QUIETLY) OH
%
TOP TEN REASONS BLOGGERS DON'T SUCCEED
$$ $
\O/$ ARE YOU READY ?!?!?!?
$ |
/_\ 10. NOBODY GIVES A SHIT 9. NOBODY GIVES A SHIT
_|___|_ 8. ARE YOU LISTENING? I SAID NOBODY GIVES A SHIT
_|___|___|_ 7. NOBODY GIVES A SHIT 6. TAKE YOUR OWN LIFE,
_|___|___|___|_ NOBODY GIVES A SHIT 5. HOLY FUCKING SHIT ARE YOU
_|___|___|___|___|_ DEAF? NOBODY FUCKING GIVES A SHIT 4. FUCK YOU
_|___|___|___|___|___|_ YOU FUCKING FUCK NOBODY GIVES A SHIT 3. FUCKING
_|___|___|___|___|___|___|_ FUCK FUCKING FUCK YOU FUCK FUCKING FUCKING
|___|___|___|___|___|___|___| NOBODY FUCKING GIVES A SHIT 2. FUCK FUCK
\o/ \o/ \o/ \o/ \o/ \o/ \o/ FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK SHIT FUCK SHIT
| | | | | | | 1. I CAN'T EVEN BRING MYSELF TO SAY
/ \ / \ / \ / \ / \ / \ / \ IT AGAIN BUT SUFFICE IT TO SAY THAT
hjm GOD WILL HAVE HIS REVENGE ON YOU
FOR YOU AND YOUR SHITTY BLOG
%
___ ___
.d9969b d6966b. SMASH MY HEAD AGAINST SOMETHING HARD AND ROCKY
d66b'e( )a`d99b AND WIN A PRIZE
hjw `d9p _/ \_ q6b'
/ ( ) \ OR JUST A HANDFUL OF GOOP AND A CRIMINAL RECORD
%
____
/^\ / -- )
/ | \ (____/ HERE'S A CHALLENGE FOR ALL RED-BLOODED AMERICANS
/ | | \ / /
/_|_|_|_/ / PICK A DAY THIS WEEK AND FIND OUT HOW MANY TIMES
| / / YOU CAN WHACK OFF
__ __ __ | / /__ __ __
[ ]__[ ]__[ ]. / /[ ]__[ ]__[ ] MY PERSONAL BEST IS 28
|__ ____/ /___ __|
| / .------ ) | (WOMEN NEED NOT APPLY)
| / / / |
| / / / |
~~~~~~~~~~~~-----------~~~~~~~~ldb~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
%
.--.--------.--.
| ._. ._D90| PLEASE LABEL YOUR TRANSSEXUAL PORN AS SUCH
| ((_)) ((_)) | BEFORE I GODDAMNED GO AND CLICK ON IT
| `_______-' |
[()/o o$)] I AM SOMEWHAT IMPAIRED BY ALCOHOL AND
hjw "-/--"----"--\-" CANNOT MAKE THESE DISTINCTIONS FROM THUMBNAILS
($)--./)_.' )
((_)/X~()/(_))( MIGHT I SUGGEST LABELS LIKE "TRANNY" OR "TS" OR
.~(|/()~())\/)() "DISGUSTING" OR "ONLY CLICK ON THIS IF YOU'RE A FAG"
`~(/\/_8(_) X_/
((X_)\_X~(_)
(_/ () `-'
%
___
,-""___""-.
.;""'| |`"":.
|| | | | | || BUT I RESPECT YOU AS A *PERSON* !!!!!
||_|_|_|_|_||
// /| AND NOT JUST A HOLE TO PUT MY YUNYUNS IN
/__ //|
,-""___""-. //||
.;""'| |`"":. //
||/| | | | || //
||_|_|_|_|_||//
||_________||/ NOW SHUT UP AND LIE DOWN
|| ||
'' ctr ''
%
n__n_
/ = =\ CAN'T WAIT TO PLAY SPORE !!!!!
/ ._Y_)
___________/ "\________________________________
(_/ (_, \ o!O
\ ( \_,--""""--.
__..-,-`.___,-` )-.______.' (SOUND OF ONE WHOOPIE CUSHION
<' `-,' `-, )-' > SLOWLY AND LOUDLY DEFLATING)
`----._/ ( /"`>.--"
"--..___,--"
%
|
|
|
|. !
"| .-'! ARABIC IS KIND OF LIKE GERMAN
I | P
I ;__| IN THAT IF YOU HEAR SOMEONE SPEAKING IT
I ||'' scc, YOU KNOW THAT THEY'RE THE BAD GUYS
I )\=( _ } s&D
.I- ;_\-=\ L sc SO SHOOT THEM FIRST
|IT \',_\__7 &s
|I| //\'.---..)s&
|I|//_ \\ \ (_
LI|-----|/ \.' '-.______
{ID :' |} / '..'-- .;___.-,_
"| Y | .: \ , /_,.--'=--'
| | / | / ;. ':.'
|: |_/ |; : ::_/
|' / |I |___/
|-| '' | ) IS THERE NOTHING WE CAN'T LEARN FROM
| | | / FIRST PERSON SHOOTER GAMES
| | |;
snd __|_|_ __ |/>
( _'---'__) |(
'~~~~~~~' "
%
\_ \_\_ \_\_ \_\_ \_\_ \_\

\__\ \__\ \__\ \__\_\__\ DEAR GOD,
\_ \_\_ \_\_ \_\_ \_\_ \_\
\__\ \__\ \__\ \__\_\__\ I DON'T SEE
\_ \_\_ \_\_ \_\_ \_\_ \_\ HOW MIMI MIYAGI
\__\ \__\ \__\ \__\_\__\ COULD POSSIBLY HAVE LOST
\_ \_\_ \_\_ \_\_ \_\_ \_\ THE 2006
\__\ \__\ \__\ \__\_\__\ NEVADA
\_ \_\_ \_\_ \_\_ \_\_ \_\ GUBERNATORIAL
\__\ \__\ \__\ \__\_\__\ ELECTION
\_ \_\_ \_\_ \_\_ \_\_ \_\ !?!?!?!?!?
\__\ \__\ \__\ \__\_\__\
\_ \_\_ \_\_ \_\_ \_\_ \_\ SIGNED, ME
\__\ \__\ \__\ \__\_\__\
Krogg
%
_____
| D GIVE THE GIFT OF KNOWLEDGE: DONATE TO WIKIPEDIA !!!!!!
| |
| | A SIMILAR FEELING: FLUSHING YOUR MONEY DOWN THE TOILET
\___| _ AND WAVING GOODBYE TO IT FOREVER
|| _______ -( (-
|_'(-------) '-'
| /
_____,-\__..__|_____Pr59
%
_
/ } HISTORY ?!?!??!? MORE LIKE HIS STORY !!1!!!!!!!!
/'.\
_/ ) (`-
( ,)
|/
/| HUHHHHHHHHH DUHHHHHHHHHHHHH FUHHHHHHH I'M A FUCKWAD
Elb ' `
%
__
.'/\'.
.'-/__\-'. HURRAY THERE'S GOING TO BE A REMAKE OF
.'--/____\--'. THE DAY THE EARTH STOOD STILL
.'--./______\.--'.
.'--../________\..--'.
.'--.._/__________\_..--'.
.'--..__/____________\__..--'.
.'--..___/______________\___..--'.
'========'================'========'
[_|__] [_|__]
=[__|_]=====""=====[__|_]==.
[_|__] '| [_|__] |
[__|_] |' [__|_] |
[_|__] .--JL--. [_|__] '===O
[__|_] \====/ [__|_]
[_|__]_.-| .; |-._[_|__] BUT INSTEAD OF THE COLD WAR AND OUR
[__|_]'._ \__/(_.'[__|_] POTENTIAL NUCLEAR SELF-DESTRUCTION
[.-._] [_.-.] GUESS WHAT THE DUDER IS GOING TO
[_.-.'--..____..--'.-._] WARN US STUPID HUMANS ABOUT ???
(o) [(_.' .-. .-.'._)\ (o)
(\'/) [ .-. (_.'.-. (_.' .-.](\'/)
;: [ (_.'.-. (_.' .-. (_.'| ;:'
;: [ .-. '._) .-. '._).-. ] ;:.
[(_.' .-. '._) .-.'._)]
(o) /.-. (_.'.-. (_.' .-.];:(o)
(\'/)['._).-. (_.' .-.(_.'] (\'/)
[ (_.'.-. .-.'._) \ ;:
;:' '-._ '._) '._) _.-' THAT'S RIGHT IT STARTS WITH "GLOBAL"
LGB `---..____..---' ;:` AND ENDS WITH ME NOT WATCHING IT EVER
;:' ;:'.:; ;;"
%
____
,dP9CGG88@b,
,IP""YICCG888@@b, BATTLE 360 ?!?!?!
dIi ,IICGG8888@b
dCIIiciIICCGG8888@@b
________GCCIIIICCCGGG8888@@@__________________
GGCCCCCCCGGG88888@@@
GGGGCCCGGGG88888@@@@...
Y8GGGGGG8888888@@@@P..... SHOULDN'T IT BE MORE LIKE BATTLE
Y88888888888@@@@@P...... 41,253 (APPROXIMATELY)
`Y8888888@@@@@@@P'......
fL `@@@@@@@@@P'.......
""""........
%
___
.-"` `"-. EARTH HOUR EARTH HOUR EARTH HOUR EARTH HOUR
.' .-. '. EARTH HOUR EARTH HOUR EARTH HOUR EARTH HOUR
/ (/^\) \ EARTH HOUR EARTH HOUR EARTH HOUR EARTH HOUR
/ # (\ /) \ EARTH HOUR EARTH HOUR EARTH HOUR EARTH HOUR
| # .-'-. | EARTH HOUR EARTH HOUR EARTH HOUR EARTH HOUR
| /(_I_)\ | EARTH HOUR EARTH HOUR EARTH HOUR EARTH HOUR
; \\) (// ; EARTH HOUR EARTH HOUR EARTH HOUR EARTH HOUR
; / Y \ ; EARTH HOUR EARTH HOUR EARTH HOUR EARTH HOUR
\ \ | / / EARTH HOUR EARTH HOUR EARTH HOUR EARTH HOUR
\ \|/ / EARTH HOUR EARTH HOUR EARTH HOUR EARTH HOUR
\ /|\ / EARTH HOUR EARTH HOUR EARTH HOUR EARTH HOUR
| \|/ |
|__/Y\__|
{=======} WATCH US INCREASE THE EFFICIENCY OF ENERGY USAGE
}======={ BY APPROXIMATELY ONE THOUSANDTH OF ONE PERCENT
{=======} AND YET PRETEND WE'RE DOING SOMETHING USEFUL
}======={ OTHER THAN JERKING OURSELVES OFF
jgs{=======}
`""u""`
%
()._
_.--. (##)_`-. THE MARY J. BLIGE ROBOT OR WHATEVER
/ . `ù (##), ` `. ON THESE NO IPOD COMMERCIALS IS
\__) _/ (##),--. \ SERIOUSLY UPSETTING ME AND SAPPING
| --' ()' \ \ MY STRENGTH TO FIGHT ALCOHOLISM
/ | | |
,' \ _,' / I MEAN DO WE STRIKE BACK NOW
,' | ,;--// AGAINST THIS LEGION OF ROBOTS
/ ___\ |/ ___V__{(_ OR WAIT UNTIL OUR FORCES ARE
| ' \| || ,'-===- `,'| STRONGER IN NUMBER OR WHAT
__| ,' /| || |""""""""|-L|
,`__. < _)))_))) |________|,'
gnv (,' ool
APRIL FOOL'S !!!!! I'M NOT AN

ALCOHOLIC (EXCEPT IN THE SENSE
THAT I UNDENIABLY AM)
%
|\ /| |\ /|
| \ / | |\\ //| NO MORE BUNNIES (ALL FUCKED OUT)
| | | | | \| |/ |
\ | | / \ || || / POP, POOF, BANG
\ |_| / \||_||/
.' '. .' '. AND THEN SUDDENLY FEATHERS SLOWLY
| | |o o| FLOATING TO THE GROUND
/ \ /= Y =\
`'-. .-'` `'-.^.-'` (BUNNIES AREN'T MADE OF FEATHERS
_| |_ _| |_ SO I DON'T KNOW WHERE THEY
/` `\ /` `\ CAME FROM)
| / \ | | |
|/ \| | ( ) | MY SOLEM PROMISE TO YOU:
/ \ /\ \ / /\
| .-~-. | | '._)_.' | WHEN I FUCK OUT A BUNNY I'M NOT
\ { } / \ / DOING IT FOR ME OR FOR YOU OR
jgs \ '-=-' / \ '.___.' / EVEN FOR THE BUNNY
.--' ;---; '--. .--' \---/ '--.
`-------' '-------` `-------' '-------` I'M DOING IT FOR ALL OF US
%
______________________ Q
| | ___|\_.-,
| I'M THE CHIEF S\ Q~\___ \|
| |( )o 5) Q
| INNOVATION |\\ \_ ()
| | \'. _'/'.
| OFFICER .-. '-( x< \
| ,o /\, '. ) /'\\
|______ \'.__.----/ .'\ '.-'/ \\
snd '---'q__/.'__ ; / \\_
'---' '--' `"'
%
.__ _..._
/,-./'.--. ``\.
/|/.--./`.o/ /`;\\
|||\ _ `-'_` o|/|| WELP HERE'S TO ME
||\\`.`.__`Y8P_,\||
\\|| `"\"""/---'||
\\| ,-' `.||//
\(-'_ `.
,-' [_] .-. \
; `\| ||-'/ ` \
\ /`""-.`\ | ; |
`.-|\_/ | ; ' |
\-._ / | | /
|`--'| : ;_\_
/| |/ /\|, )
__..; `----' :`.`|/
/ / | |
; .' `\' ;
\/ : _ :
: / / :
: _.'`.__.' | fsc
\ _.' \ /
| | / `---.._
| `\ `.____ \
/ | `------'
\__|_,'
%
.{{}}}}}}.
{{{{{}}}}}}}.
{{{{ {{{{{}}}} THE WORD "CUCKOLD" SOUNDS AWESOME
}}}}} _ _ {{{{{ UNTIL YOU FIND OUT WHAT IT ACTUALLY MEANS
}}}} 6 6 }}}}
{{{{C ^ {{{{
}}}}}}\ '=' /}}}}}
{{{{{{{;.___.;}}}}}}
{{{{{{{) (}}}}}}'
jgs `""'"': :'"'"'`
`@`
%
Y\ /Y
| \ _ / |
_____ | =(_)= |
,-~" "~-. ,-~\/^ ^\/~-.
,^ ___ ___ ^. ,^ ___ ___ ^.
/ .^ ^. .^ ^. \ / .^ ^. .^ ^. \
l_ `.___.' `.___.' _[ l_ `.___.' `.___.' _[
l^~"-------------"~Î l^~"-------------"~Î
!\, ,/! ! !
\ ~-.,_______,.-~ / \ /
^. .^ ^. .^ -Row
"-.._____.,-" "-.._____.,-"
WHY DOES THE LOGO FOR GENTOO LINUX
LOOK LIKE A RETARDED PAC-MAN

%
!
|
| |~/
| _|~
.============.| (_| |~/
.-;____________;|. _|~
| [_________I__] | (_|
| """"" (_) (_) |
| .=====..=====. | HEY WHAT'S BETTER THAN BLOGGING ?!?!?!?!?!?!?
| |:::::||:::::| |
jgs | '=====''=====' | BLOG TALK RADIO !!!!!11!!!!1
'----------------'
%
___
/ ,_\ _____
/ _)/ /o \
| \ /_ ` \__________
| \____ >__,_ \ | WHO WANTS TO SMEAR ME WITH POO
| ____, | AND CALL ME A POO STATUE ???!!?!?
\,___________ | \ |
\ ( \ |__
\ \ \ \ _)_
__________\/ \ \____/
| ) \
| _________ , |
| / | /
| / | /
| /_ | / %%%% %%%%%
| ) | \ %%% ,, %%%%%%%%
\ / | / (< ?%%%%
| / | / ^ .'
/_/ | (_ ___ /(___ WELL YOU CAN DO IT BUT IT WILL
| ) /\ ~ /_\ TECHNICALLY BE A MISNOMER SINCE
\ / _/$\_)(_/)\ \_ YOU'LL STILL MOVE YOU LITTLE
| / /\_/ \ x / \_/\ FUCKER
____ /_/_____ \_/ ) x \ \_/
|_____________| __// /==o==\ \\__
) _________ (____/__/___( - \___\__\___________
|| ||____ ____| __\ ________ _____
|| || \// \ / \_ \//
|| || //\ \ / \ //\
|| b'ger || \\/ \_/ \ \\/
|| || /\\ \ / | /\\
|| || \// / _ | \//
|| ||____//\________| |_____//\______
||_________||______________/ |______________
)___________( /\_________\
|_____________| / | | \
\=/ \=/ .. .
%
_______________ /) JANET JACKSON'S
(_______________((> 40-YEAR-OLD BOOBIE
$ STILL HAUNTS ME
Krogg
%
.------. .------.
.' //`. .' `. I'M GOIN TO GET A TATTOO OF
/ // \ / \ ANOTHER SET OF BALLS ON MY TAINT
| // : | ......:::::
: // | :::::'''''' | YOU KNOW JUST TO COVER ALL BASES
\ // / \ /
`._// _.' `._ _.' AsH
`"----"' `"----"'
%
___
,'/|\`.
:,',^.`.:
|,'_ _`.| SO I BOUGHT A PEDOMETER
|:`*)*';|
;|\ _ /|: I WALKED AROUND WITH IT AND
,-(||.)-(.||)-. THE NUMBERS KEPT GETTING HIGHER
|' \|(\ /)|/ `
`:. ( `|' ) .;' TURNS OUT IT DOESN'T MEASURE WHAT
| : \ ,^. / : | I THOUGHT IT WOULD
,'`'\-`.._/_/; | (PEDOS)
`:=..-...______;_
\`\ \'`. .-'\`: /
;' \ \/ \ `:
/ / \ \ \ .\
/ // ) `, \ ,
/ / '-.' \ \\
/ ,( ; ; ) \\
// `-./ \.-' \
/ / ``---'-'' \ . \
( , , | \ ` ` )
`./ , ' . . \_.'
`-._ / . | \ _.''
``-.._|___..-''
|.'//
|'::
|=||
,'.|`._
'--^'^--` SSt
%
(\ /)
(v\ /v)
(vvv\ /vvv)
(vvvvv\ /vvvvv)
(vvvvvvv\ /vvvvvvv)
(vvvvvvvvv\ _---_ /vvvvvvvvv)
(vvvvvvvvvvv\/ XII \/vvvvvvvvvvv)
(vvvvvvvvvvvv/ / \vvvvvvvvvvvv)
(vvvvvvvvvvv/ / \vvvvvvvvvvv)
(vvvvvvvvvv|IX @ III |vvvvvvvvvv)
(vvvvvvvvvv\ \ /vvvvvvvvvv)
(vvvvvvvvvv\ /vvvvvvvvvv)
(vvvvvvvvv\ VI /vvvvvvvvv)
(vvvvvvvv-___-vvvvvvvv)
(vvvvvv/ \vvvvvv) I LIKE TIVO'ING SHOWS AND THEN WATCHING
(vvvvv/ \vvvvv) THEM MONTHS LATER BECAUSE WITH THE
(vvv/ \vvv) RANDOM COMMERCIALS IT'S KIND OF LIKE
ejm97 (v/ \v) HAVING YOUR VERY OWN PERSONAL TIME MACHINE
(/ \)
THAT ONLY GOES BACK IN TIME I GUESS
BUT HEY IT'S A START
%
,/`.
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myflix
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/X___X\
(/= j =\) CHECK OUT MY BLOGROLL !!!!!!
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( .-'--'-. )
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) ) ( (
dew (_/ \_)
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iiii iiiiiii iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii
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%
_,-.
,-' _| EVER REWIND OVER AND OVER AGAIN THROUGH THE
|_,-O__`-._ INITIAL AGENT SMITH/NEO INTERROGATION SCENE
|`-._\`.__ `_. IN THE MATRIX AND BEAT OFF
|`-._`-.\,-'_| _,-'.
`-.|.-' | |`.-'|_ WHAT
| |_|,-'_`.
|-._,-' | NO, ME NEITHER
jrei | | _,'
'-|_,-' IT'S JUST A HYPOTHETICAL QUESTION
%
.---.
/ /"\ \
)/a a$ IN THE OCEAN
( ( - ) ) NO ONE CAN HEAR YOU NAG
) ) ( (
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^~^~^`^~^~^
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.
/ \
/ . \
/ / \ \ PENIS !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11111111111
/ / \ \
/ / \ \
/ / \ \
/ / WW \ \
/ / C_ "-.__ \ \
/ / "- "_ \ \
ctr / / //|--L-\\ \ \ (NO OFFENSE)
/ / // |// \\ \ \
/ `-----------------' \
`-----------------------'
%
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%
_ ,'| _ |`, _ ,'| _ |`, _
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\:\ )// /:/ \\( \:\ )// /:/ \\( \:\
==\:(======/:(=====):/=====):\====\:(======/:(=====):/=====):\====\:(===
)\\ /:/ //( \:\ )\\ /:/ //( \:\ )\\
\\\ (:/ /// \:) \\\ (:/ /// \:) \\\
Krogg`.| " |.' " `.| " |.' " `.|
I'M A CUTTER AND SOMETIMES EVEN A PASTER

%
(()
/|||\
(())))) I THINK I LOVE YOU
(|( */
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(|)())
( ) \ o ,....,
/, _) (\_ |:::::
.\\__| \ \ (::::: NOPE, WAIT, SORRY, FALSE ALARM
/\\ | \_\ \;;;
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| | \ )
| | \ |
| | __ | :/
| | | \ |_____|
| | | \/ |
|___| | \ | )
I\__\ _| |.___._.'_ SO FUCK OFF
\`--, (_____( )
Sher^ `'' |_|
%
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.-'.' .-. '.'-.
.'.(( ( ^ `> )).'. (COCKS GUN)
/`'- \'._____\ (_____.'/ -'`\
|-''`.'------' '------'.`''-| OKAY HANDS UP WHO HAS A TONGUE PIERCING
|.-'`.'.'.`/ | | \`.'.'.`'-.|
\ .' . / | | | | \ . '. /
'._. : _|_| |_|_ : ._.' SEE IT'S A FUN GAME LIKE SKEET SHOOTING
````` /T"Y"T\ `````
/ | | | \ EXCEPT IT ACTUALLY IMPROVES THE GENE POOL
jgs `'`'`'`'`'`
%
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| : : |
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[ ]
"-[#]-"
T T ()
| | ll WAIT...
_ | | _ ll
.-| |\_/| |-. ll DID SOMEONE JUST SAY
/ |.:::::.| \ lX WHAT WHAT (IN THE BUTT) ???
/ <>+:[:]:+<> | /ll
|.-Y-+%:::%+-Y-.\ //ll
|| | |;---;| | \\// ll PLEASE DIE NOW
|| | |:::::| | \Y
||_| |:::::| |_
||#\u(""""")u/# LS
||# :|| :|| :#
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| :| | :|
| :| | :|
%
.---. .---.
( -o- )---( -o- )
;-...-` `-...-;
/ \ WHO SAYS VIDEO GAMES ENCOURAGE VIOLENCE
/ \
| /_ _\ | EVER SINCE I STARTED PLAYING GTA I HAVEN'T
\`'.`'"--.....--"'`.'`/ FELT THE NEED TO GO OUTSIDE AND KILL HOOKERS
\ '. `._.` .' /
_.-''. `-.,___,.-` .''-._
`--._ `'-._______.-'` _.--`
jgs / \ AS MUCH AS I USED TO
/.-'`\ .'. /`'-.\
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%
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(_ (\ /Û ^ Û Û ~| ". `\ I'M A GAY LITTLE SEAHORSE
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|^ u^ u/ BORN THIS WAY
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jgs \^ uû\ | ' ` ; |
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"-.^.-```_=~._/
`"------"'
%
.__ .-".
(o\"\ | | UWE BOLL:
\_\ | |
_.---:_ | THE DEREK SMART OF FILMMAKING
("-..-" /
"-.-" /
/ |
"--" AsH
%
.-"-.
( (_) ) FREE ERIC VOLZ
`. .'
| |
..--" "--..
.' .-'" "`-. `. WAIT HE'S ALREADY FREE
.-. / .' `. \ .-.
||\`/ / __ __ \ \'/||
|| `|| /(_| |(_\ ||' ||
\\ || `--' `--' || //
\\_\ \ Y / /_// FUCK THAT PUT THAT BASTARD
`--`.`. `.-^-.' .'.'--' BACK IN CAPTIVITY (IT'S THE
> `-.`='.-' < ONLY WAY HE'LL LEARN)
.' `.
`-._________.-' hjw
%
|
(_) \ ___
_ / ", /RRRb A FUNNY THING HAPPENED ON THE WAY
./( ( ) - | MMN TO BEING A FAT DISEASED FAGGOT
f^~Y^| \MMM
~ ^ ^ /^--^\
| |
| ^ |
~> <
| \
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mOm
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, ,
/| _,_ |\
| \.'` \ `'./ |
| / /`> \ | WHY IS IRON MAN SUCKING DICK FOR CRACK
; | / |o| \ | ;
\_\ /.8.\ /_/
_.-' .'/ \'. '-._
\__.' | | `;.__/
/ | | ; | | \
| \ '._.' | |
\ \ | | / /
| | | | / /
| | | | | |
\ \ | |/ /
\ \| / /
jgs `\ \ | /
\ `;/
`| |
%
_,--, _
__,-'____| ___ /' | TINA FEY'S GENERAL AESTHETICS WOULD
/' `\,--,/' `\ /' | DEFINITELY BE IMPROVED BY THE
( ) ( )' CALLOUS INTRODUCTION OF MY BONER
\_ _/' `\_ _/ pb
""" """
%
,,,,,
\ e e\
C _\/ |\\,
)\_) \_ /
_/|/_ _// I'M A CATHOLIC HOMOSEXUAL
,'\ ~ /'-,_/ \
/ \_/ / /
, | \_._,-"
( < _'
| \ \
', -',-~.-'
_/ ) |
|// | '
' ) |
| | | I.E., SOMEONE WHO IS EITHER A LIAR
._., - |.,_ // OR IS VERY, VERY, VERY CONFUSED
_\-' )___|__|_ '-._
b'ger /____\__\
%
_______________
|,----------. |\ I'M LIVEBLOGGING A TELEVISED DEBATE !!!!!!!
|| |=| |
|| || | | SO INSTEAD OF WATCHING THE DEBATE YOURSELF
|| . _o| | | __ YOU CAN WATCH MY BLOGGING IN REAL TIME ON
|`-----------' |/ /~/ WHAT IS HAPPENING DURING AN EVENT THAT ANYONE
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ / / CAN VIEW THEMSELVES IF THEY WISH !!!!!!!
~~
Ojoshiro SO IN SUMMARY HUHHHHHHHHHHHHH END MY LIFE NOW
%
.^._.^. I'M ALL EMO IN THE SENSE THAT ANYBODY
| . . | WHO ACTUALLY USES THE WORD "EMO"
( --- ) NEEDS TO GET PUNCHED LIKE THE
.' '. FUCKING FAGGOT THAT HE IS
|/ \|
\ /-\ / SO WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR ?!?!?!?!?
V V PUNCH ME IN THE TITS
%
I'M GOING TO FUCKING MURDER SOMEONE OVER OS X
WINDOW FOCUS AND "SPACES"
__________________________
__..--/".' '.
__..--"" | | |
/ | | |
/ | | ___________________ |
; | | :__________________/: |
| | | | '.| |
| | | | || |
| | | | || |
| | | | || |
| | | | || |
| | | | || |
| | | | || |
| | | | || |
| | | |______......-----"\| |
| | | |_______......-----" |
| | | |
| | | |
| | | ____----|
| | |_____.....----|#######|---|
| | |______.....----"""" |
| | | |
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|... .... | | (c ----- """ .'
|..... ...... |\|_| ____......------"""|"
|. .... .......| |"""""" |
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"-._ ..... .| | |
"-._.....| | ___...---"""'
"-._.| | ___...---"""
""""" grp
I MEAN IT
%
'-.
'-. _____ I SURE LIKE SEEING COMMERCIALS WITH
.-._ | '. ELLEN DEGENERES IN THEM BECAUSE
: .. | : THAT REALLY MOTIVATES ME TO BUY THINGS
'-._+ | .-'
/ \ .'i--i
/ \ .-'_/____\___
.-' : fsc:
%
\
\ \ .`---.
\ \__________ __/ _ \
\ | ;(_-\_\
\ \ ___,_:_C) "-._
'_____________\_,' / | \ "-._
/ | \ ` /
/ | \ \ /
/ | \ \/
\b | \ |
\n | \ /
\i | \/ I THINK I'D BETTER STOP USING
\ | / REISERFS BECAUSE SHIT THAT
\ / PRACTICALLY MAKES ME AN ACCOMPLICE
\ /
\ /
\ /
V
%
,="=-.
,`'oo' \o`.
( .88 |^||^)) ) THAT LITTLE LUPE'S A REAL TROOPER
, ) ) `@ (@' (.
( ` , `C ' ) `)
`-=' ,/ ._c/ `-='
,-( `-.,')-.
gpyy `( )
`' '`
%
_ _.-'`-._ _
;.'________'.;
_________n.[____________].n_________
|""_""_""_""||==||==||==||""_""_""_""]
|"""""""""""||..||..||..||"""""""""""|
|.. .. .. ..||..||..||..||.. .. .. ..|
,,;;,;;;,;;;,;;;,;;;,;;;,;;;,;;,;;;,;;;,;;,,
;;jgs;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;
I'M GOING TO PROTEST TORTURE BY WATERBOARDING

MY FRIENDS RIGHT IN FRONT OF GOVERNMENT BUILDINGS
PRETTY MUCH PROVING WITHOUT A DOUBT THAT IT'S

NOT REALLY TORTURE BECAUSE IF IT WERE I FUCKING
WOULDN'T DO THIS (RE: CUTTING, BURNING, SEVERING LIMBS,
REMOVING TESTICLES, ELECTROCUTION, RAPING LOVED ONES, ETC.)
%
_____
/ \
(____/\ )
|___ U?(____ MOTHER AND DAUGHTER TEAM UP
_\L. | \ ___ ON AN ALL-NEW MEDIUM
/ /"""\ /.-' | |\ |
( / _/u | \___|_)_|
\| \\ / / \_(___ __)
| \\ / / | | |
| ) _/ / ) | |
_\__/.-' /___( | |
_/ __________/ \ | |
// / ( ) | |
( \__|___\ \______ /__|____|
\ (___\ |______)_/
\ |\ \ \ /
\ | \__ ) )___/ FURRHRHHHHHFHFHFFFFFF OH GOD OH GOD
\ \ )/ /__( OH GOD OH GOD OH GOD FFUFUFUURUUFFHFH
___ | /_//___| \_________ RUFUFHHRHRHHRHHH HORRIBLE DIARRHEA
_/ ( / OUuuu \
MR `----'(____________)
%
.------. .------.
.' //`. .' `. THERE IS A FATWA AGAINST MY BALLS
/ // \ / \
| // : | ......:::::
: // | :::::'''''' |
\ // / \ /
`._// _.' `._ _.' JUST FYI
AsH `"----"' `"----"'
%
____________
/ _.'\ \ AS A DEMOCRATIC PRIMARY VOTER I'M TORN
/ _.' \ \ BETWEEN BEING LABELLED SEXIST OR RACIST
/_.-' \___\
|\_\ `` .- \ _/|
| _\___________. | P
| / \ | r
|/ \| 5
|__________________| 9
%
__ __
/ \ /| |'-. INSTEAD OF SPENDING TIME AND MONEY
.\__/ || | | TO IMPROVE MY OWN SELF IMAGE, I'LL JUST
_ / `._ \|_|_.-' UPGRADE MY VIRTUAL PERSONA IN SECOND LIFE
| / \__.`=._) (_
|/ ._/ |"""""""""|
|'. `\ | | BECAUSE THAT MAKES TOTAL FUCKING SENSE!!!
;"""/ / | |
jgs ) /_/| |.-------.| DOESN'T IT
' `-`' " "
%
.--.
.' '.
/ .-. \ ALL I CAN SAY ABOUT GEERT WILDERS
--./ / \ \ IS THAT HIS HAIR IS SO AWESOME
/ `. | | IT CAN DEFLECT BULLETS
| | | /
| / | /
`. / `'
`-. |
.' '. /\
.' \ /`-. _.-' |
.' '. / `' /
.' . `'. / _ |
/ .' | .'. `. / | '-. |
| .' | | '-. '.| / \ /
`-' / \ `. / \/
| \ `/ /
/ .. \ / /
.--. | / '. | ( /
.-' `. / / \ \ `'
/ .--. | | | \
/ / . / \ | OR AT LEAST HE'LL END UP
| \ `-' '-' WISHING IT COULD
`-._| S-v
%
___ ____ ________
,"_ ,`==='`.'__....__`--.
,',' | ,o@@@@@@@@@@o. \
, /___| d@/@@@@@@@@@@@@b \
|| "| d@/@@@@@@@@@@@@@@b| TOM SIZEMORE SEEMS LIKE A NICE GUY
|| ()|| ,@/@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@:
|| , || @@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@
||(|)|| '@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@//D I GUESS THE QUESTION REALLY IS WHY
|| ' || '@@@@@@@@@@@@@@/@P *WOULDN'T* I WANT TO WATCH HIS PORN MOVIES
|| , || `@@@@@@@@@@@@/@'|
||(|)|| CCD `@@@@@@@@@@' |
|| ' | '----------'"""""_, |
|| , |`. S O N Y | |
:|(|)| | | |
`| '| ::............:: ,
|\__| ::::::::::::::::----"
: '::::::::::::::'
\ ; Bob_R
`---------------"
%
.------.____
.-' \ ___)
.-' \\\
.-' ___ \\) LOOK AT ME
.-' / (\ |)
__ \ ( | | I USE THE WORD "ORIENTATE"
/ \ \__'| |
/ \____).-' BECAUSE I EAT DICK
.' / |
/ . / |
.' / \/ |
/ / \ |
/ / _|_
\ / /\ /\
\ / /__v__\
' | |
| .#|
VK |#. .##|
|#######|
|#######|
%
,-===-.
,-. /=,(o).=\ I'M SURPRISED THAT XKCD GUY DEIGNS TO
\ /==|o_0|==\ EVEN WRITE COMICS FOR THE REST OF US PEONS
\(===\ - /===)
\`=.=|J|=,=',-. SINCE HE'S OBVIOUSLY PRETTY SURE HE'S
X `=' `=' X |\ SO GODDAMN AWESOME
/ \ / \ | \
/ /|\`x'/|\ \`--'
( `""`-'_`-'""' )
`--T""\ ""T--'
] \ [ Ojo98
[""-o\""]
%
____ .-.
.-"` `",( __\_ IF I COULD LEARN TO BEAT OFF
.-==:;-._ .' .-. `'. LEFTY IT'D DAMN SURE MAKE
.' `"-:'-/ ( \} -=a .) ME A LOT MORE PRODUCTIVE
/ \/ \,== `- __..-'`
'-' | | | .'\ `; I'M LOOKING AT YOU MR. MOUSE
\ _/---'\ ( `"`
/.`._ ) \ `; YOU KNOW WHAT YOU'VE BEEN DOING
\`-/.' `"`
`"\`-. WAIT THIS IS A PICTURE OF A REAL MOUSE
jgs `"`
OUR FUCKING ART DEPARTMENT SUCKS
%
||====================================================================||
||//$\\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\//$\\||
||(100)==================| FEDERAL RESERVE NOTE |================(100)||
||\\$// ~ '------========--------' \\$//||
||<< / /$\ // ____ \\ \ >>||
||>>| 12 //L\\ // ///..) \\ L38036133B 12 |<<||
||<<| \\ // || <|| >\ || |>>||
||>>| \$/ || $$ --/ || One Hundred |<<||
||====================================================================||>||
||//$\\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\//$\\||<||
||(100)==================| FEDERAL RESERVE NOTE |================(100)||>||
||\\$// ~ '------========--------' \\$//||\||
||<< / /$\ // ____ \\ \ >>||)||
||>>| 12 //L\\ // ///..) \\ L38036133B 12 |<<||/||
||<<| \\ // || <|| >\ || |>>||=||
||>>| \$/ || $$ --/ || One Hundred |<<||
||<<| L38036133B *\\ |\_/ //* series |>>||
||>>| 12 *\\/___\_//* 1989 |<<||
||<<\ Treasurer ______/Franklin\________ Secretary 12 />>||
||//$\ ~|UNITED STATES OF AMERICA|~ /$\\||
||(100)=================== ONE HUNDRED DOLLARS =================(100)||
||\\$//\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\\$//||
||====================================================================||
DEFACING ALL MY CASH WITH BRAILLE OBSCENITIES

%
__ /^\
.' \ / :.\
/ \ | :: \
/ /. \ / ::: |
| |::. \ / :::'/
| / \::. | / :::'/
`--` \' `~~~ ':'/` POOR FURRIES
/ (
/ 0 _ 0 \ WHAT DID THEY EVER DO TO ANYONE
\/ \_/ \/
-== '.' | '.' ==-
/\ '-^-' /\
\ _ _ / OH YEAH THEY HAVE A DISGUSTING
.-`-((\o/))-`-. FETISH WHICH CLEARLY INDICATES
_ / //^\\ \ _ THAT THEY NEED TO BE PUT DOWN
."o".( , .:::. , )."o".
|o o\\ \:::::/ //o o|
\ \\ |:::::| // /
\ \\__/:::::\__// /
\ .:.\ `':::'` /.:. /
\':: |_ _| ::'/
jgs `---` `"""""` `---`
%
_____
_.'_____`._ THE EARLIEST CLOCKS WERE BASED ON LITTLE MORE THAN POO
.'.-' 12 `-.`.
/,' 11 1 `.\ IT WAS NOT THE MOST ACCURATE SYSTEM, GRANTED
// 10 / 2 \\
;; / :: BUT IT WAS A START
|| 9 ----O 3 ||
:: ;;
\\ 8 4 //
\`. 7 5 ,'/ FURTHERMORE THE FIRST ATTEMPT AT STANDARDIZED WEIGHT
'.`-.__6__.-'.' AND LENGTH MEASUREMENTS WERE ALSO POO-BASED
((-._____.-))
_)) ((_ HENCE THE EXPRESSION "HEAVY AS A KING'S TURD"
'--'SSt '--'
%
I'D LIKE TO TAKE A MOMENT
TO TALK ABOUT FAMOUS NATHAN'S
IT IS STILL UNKNOWN EXACTLY

WHAT NATHAN IS FAMOUS FOR
BUT IT IS PRESUMED TO BE DISGUSTING
_ _
( \ / )
\ \.-------------./ /
\( )/
`.___________.'
%
/| __
/ | ,-~ /
Y :| // /
| jj /( .^
>-"~"-v"
/ Y
jo o | NUGGGGGH MUST TONGUE CARROTS
( ~T~ j
>._-' _./
/ "~" |
Y _, |
/| ;-"~ _ l
/ l/ ,-"~ \
\//\/ .- \
Y / Y*
l I !
]\ _\ /"\
(" ~----( ~ Y. )
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
%
___
,-'" "`-. FUCKING FUCK ALL OF YOU FUCK YOU FUCKING FUCK
,'_ `.
/ / \ ,- \ I'M A SMILEY FACE BUT YOU DON'T OWN ME
__ | \_0 --- |
/ | | | YOU DEMANDING FUCKERS I HAVE A LIFE TOO
\ \ `--.______,-/ |
___) \ ,--"" ,/ | FUCKING GOD I HATE ALL OF YOU MAKING ME
/ _ \ \-_____,- / DO A LITTLE DANCE IN FRONT OF YOU SO YOU
\__-/ \ | `. ,' CAN GET ON WITH OUR LIVES
\___/ < '--------'
\__/\ | Wny I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU
\__//N
I HATE YOU WITH A PURE HATE THAT EXISTS OUTSIDE OF TIME AND SPACE
BEFORE MATTER, BEFORE ENERGY, BEFORE THE GODS THEMSELVES
MY HATE WAS THERE
SO FUCKING HAVE A FUCKING NICE FUCKING DAY
(QUIET SOBBING)
%
IF HILLARY CLINTON IS ELECTED, FIFTY PERCENT OF OUR NATIONAL BUDGET
WILL BE DEVOTED TO SHOPPING
TEN PERCENT TO GETTING HAIR AND NAILS DONE

THIRTY FOR WEBCAMS, LUBRICATION, AND DVD COPIES OF TITANIC
THE REMAINING TEN PERCENT WILL BE RESERVED FOR FILING FALSE RAPE CHARGES
AND CHILDREN IN SCHOOLS WILL BE FORCED TO LEARN WHAT AND WHERE

THE CLITORIS ACTUALLY IS
IT WILL BE LIKE THE ENTIRE WORLD IS GETTING SUCKED UP

BY SOME GIANT, FLAPPY, VACUOUS VAGINA
I
I
___ I ___
/^^^^___^^^^\ I /^^^^___^^^^\
/^^^/V/V/V/V/V/V\^\I/^/V\V\V\V\V\V\^^^\
/^^/V/\/V/V/V/V/V/V/V\Y/V\V\V\V\V\V\V\/\V\^^\
/^ /V/V/V\V/V/V/V/V/Vv//I\\vV\V\V\V\V\V/V\V\V\ ^\
/^ /V/V/V/V/\/V/V/vVVVv//Ô^\\vVVVv\V\V\/\V\V\V\V\ ^\
/ /V/V/V/vvVVV\^^^ // I \\ ^^^/VVVvv\V\V\V\ \
//vvvVV^^ \ // _I_ \\ / ^^VVvvv\\
/ \ // (o o) \\ / \
\ // / \=/ \ \\ /
\// / /===\ \ \\/
(/==OOO=====OOO==\)
TV
%
_____
/ \/_
//\__(\_\
|\ ^ ^ |
.//_O \O_ \ I HAVE TITS
\_ (_) /
\ \_/ /
__/\ /\__
/ \ \ / / \
/ \/\/\/ \
/ | . | \
/ | . | \ JRO
%
..--""|
| |
| .---'
(\-.--| |---------.
/ \) \ | | \ NOT SURE WHICH IS LAMER:
|:. | | | |
|:. | |o| | 1. UWE BOLL'S MOVIES
|:. | `"` |
|:. |_ __ __ _ __ / OR
`""""`""|=`|"""""""`
|=_| 2. FAGGOTS WHO WRITES PETITIONS
jgs |= | BEGGING UWE BOLL TO MAKE BETTER MOVIES
%
__ IS IT JUST ME OR IS M. NIGHT SHYAMALAN
/\ \ GETTING REALLY LAZY WITH HIS MOVIE TITLES
/ /\ \
/ /__\_\ "THE MOVIE"
mn \/_____/
"REMEMBER SIXTH SENSE WAS AWESOME ??!?!?! WATCH ME"
OR MAYBE
"THE PREMISE"
%
|/|
|/| THIS IS NOT MY BEAUTIFUL HOUSE
|/|
|/|
|/|
|/| _
|/| / )
|/|/\/
|/|\/
(___)
(___)
(___)
(___)
(___)
/__/\
/ ,^./\
/ / \/\
/ / \/\
( ( )/)
| | |/|
| | |/|
| | |/|
( ( )/)
\ \ / /
\ `---' /
`-----' PhS
%
____
,' Y`.
/ \
\ () () / IS DEFCON SOME SORT OF
`. /\ ,' CONFERENCE FOR RAPPERS???
8====| "" |====8
`LLLU'
%
__________________
/\ ______________ \ CHECK OUT MY USER BOXES !!!!!1111
/::\ \ZZZZZZZZZZZZ/\ \
/:/\.\ \ /:/\:\ \ [ ] THIS USER IS AN ANARCHO-PRIMITIVIST
/:/Z/\:\ \ /:/Z/\:\ \
/:/Z/__\:\ \____/:/Z/ \:\ \ [ ] THIS USER IS AN INSURRECTIONARY
/:/Z/____\:\ \___\/Z/ \:\ \ ANARCHIST
\:\ \ZZZZZ\:\ \ZZ/\ \ \:\ \
\:\ \ \:\ \ \:\ \ \:\ \ [ ] THIS USER TOUCHES DONKEY BALLS
\:\ \ \:\ \_\;\_\_____\;\ \ WHENEVER HE GETS THE OPPORTUNITY
\:\ \ \:\_________________\
\:\ \ /:/ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ/ [ ] THIS USER IS A MEMBER OF THE
\:\ \ /:/Z/ \:\ \ /:/Z/ ANARCHISM TASK FORCE
\:\ \/:/Z/ \:\ \/:/Z/
\:\/:/Z/________\;\/:/Z/ [ ] THIS USER HAS NEVER TOUCHED A GIRL
\::/Z/_______itz__\/Z/
\/ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ/ [ ] THIS USER NEEDS TO GROW THE FUCK UP
%
-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :
:-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-)
:-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-)
) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-
-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :
:-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-)
:-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-)
) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-
-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :
:-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-)
:-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-)
) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-
-) :-) :-) :- :-) :-) :-) :
:-) :-) :-) : IS IT JUST ME OR DOES A SMILEY MAKE YOU HARD :-) :-) :-)
:-) :-) :-) ) :-) :-) :-)
) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-
-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :
:-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-)
:-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-)
) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-
-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :
:-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-)
:-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-)
) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-
-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :
:-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-)
:-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-)
) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-
tQn
%
__,_____
(( __.==--" - - - - - - -------- ==>
/$-'
`-)))/))) HEY YOU KNOW WHAT'S A MAJOR TURN-ON ?!?!?!?
(((((\(
)/)$\\ INCLUDING PORN OUTTAKES WHERE THE STUPID
,//(((((\\. WHORE WHINES ABOUT HOW SHE GOT JIZZ IN HER
((( (! !) ))) HAIR ON HER CLOTHES OR ON THE COUCH OR SOME
_))) - |(_ STUPID SHIT AFTER THE SCENE IS OVER WHEN SHE
._//\ O /\\_. DOESN'T REALIZE/CARE THE CAMERA IS STILL ROLLING
`-'_/`,-.'\-`-
,' \/===\/ `. BECAUSE SURELY WHAT I WANT TO HEAR AFTER BLOWING
hjw MY LOAD IS SHRILL WHINING AND NAGGING
SINCE THAT'S WHAT I NORMALLY FUCKING HEAR ANYWAY

%
\| ...
-:. //||\\ _.
`::::' Q Q ``::::::+.
._"__.' \
____ `==' _._
.' `
.' .:- .-. `
.' '.') ' _` /||.
__.--|_.' ' : ( \/' /\\
/,=-U' ' : `. `. /U
' ' . ( -._.---"
....-----( ' . ` -.
) .%\%:%\ '`. ` ` .'
_ ( .%::%:%:%:....--`--..-' \
( ``-.\%:%'' \ \
\\ ""\\-' `. \
`:-=/) `( )
` .aa. /
a:f_______________________________ a888a _________
______... .."\Y8y
.......------"""""" __.. . \\ -.o_ .
__..--'' .-' `+ () `-'
__..---""" ..........|_ `-. .
'' ....:::::::::::::.\.' ) .
.-' ````::::::''''.""" .
.-' . .
. .
IS IT JUST ME OR IS ED BEGLEY, JR. THE KIND OF GUY WHO

SHOULD BY ALL ACCOUNTS BE ALLOWED TO QUIETLY STARVE
NOTE: ALLOWED, NOT FORCED
WE ALL KNOW HE'LL DO THE DIRTY WORK HIMSELF

%
.-"''-. _
.' `( \
@/ ') ,--,__,-"
/ / \ / / _/
__| , |/ /
.~ `\ / \ , | /
.~ `\ ` / _/ _/ PEOPLE WHO USE .TGZ AND .TBZ
.~ `\ ~~`__/ / FILE EXTENSIONS ARE PEDOPHILES
~ `--'/
/ / /
/ /' /jgs
%
,,,,
/ '
/.. / THE BEST PART ABOUT SONY WINNING THE FORMAT WARS
( c D IS THAT FOR THE NEXT EIGHT YEARS I HAVE TO ENDURE
\- '\_ THE FACT THAT ANYONE WRITING THE WORD "BLU-RAY" MAY
`-'\)\ IN FACT BE A PERFECTLY NORMAL ADULT HUMAN BEING
|_ \
|U \\
(__,//
|. \/
LL__I
|||
|||
,,-``'\ jv
%
_,,---.)\__ JUST REMEMBER FOLKS:
,'. ""`.
f.: \ IF WIKIPEDIA IS EVER WRONG,
,-.|: ,-. ,-. Y-. ESPECIALLY IN AN ARTICLE ABOUT
,-. f , \. /: \ . / | j YOU, THEN IT'S *YOUR* FAULT
f. Y `.`. _`. ,'_ |f
|: | ) ) "` "` |' BECAUSE AFTER ALL IF YOU'D
l:. l ( ' --. j BEEN CONTRIBUTING YOU WOULD
Y: Y_,--.Y: __ ( HAVE FIXED IT
,-.| ,'.::..):.. ,'"-'Y. Y
f:. \ ::. '"'`--` j
j:: Y-.__ __,,-'___
f;\::. | ``""""''__(""'_,.`--. ,--. NEXT TIME MAYBE YOU
l:::::... j--. ,'.. `"' Y-'.:::) SHOULD DEVOTE MORE
`-..::::::_,,-' :). `--'(::.. ,j..::--( EFFORT TO IMPROVING
f`"""'. . )-(:. .:::`---\:.-'Y;:::::::Y WIKIPEDIA INSTEAD
j:::::::::.. Y: ..:::::`;_,;;;::::::j OF COMPLAINING ABOUT
f::;;;;;::::::. j: ...::::\;;:::_,,' HOW YOU WERE LIBELLED
l;;::::::::: _,;: (., .....Y::."\
Y;;;::::_,-';::.. |:::. Y
l;;;;;:::`-;;;::.... j;;::.| AND SOMEHOW THIS LOGIC
`;;;;;;;;;:);;;;:::::... /\;;;;:j MAKES SENSE TO WIKIPEDOS
PK "`------'-.;;;;::::::::...._,-'" `---'
``"""""""""""''
%
_.._
/ a\__, PRETTY SURE I SAW AL GORE FUCK A DUCK
\ -.___/ IN ONE OF THOSE TED TALKS RIGHT ON STAGE
\ \
(\____) \
|\_( )) (IT WAS HARD TO WATCH BUT STRANGELY ENTICING)
_____| (_ /________
_\____(______/__
gnv ______
%
,/|\
//&')
'')( THERE CAN ONLY BE FOUR OR FIVE, MAYBE SIX TOPS
(( )
)( (
(=M=[)###########>
(( )
(( )_
((__,) mrz
%
,d$b
,d$$P'
,d$$$' I'M FUCKIN' HOT SHIT
,d$$$P'
,d$PB$'
,d$$$P'
d$$$P'
d$$$P'
___,,---''\ d$$P'
___,,---'' \_/'\P'
\ __ ,---,_ | _/'
\ ,-" `\\ \ `)/`\
\ | \ )`-`\_-'"'\ \
\ `--'`\/ `\ ) \ DIAGRAM THAT FUCKIN' SENTENCE
\ `\ `,_\-' \
\ \_,' \
\ ___,,---''
\___,,---'' pb
%
`~ _ _____
` _ ~ 7____// DEAR INCONSIDERATE FUCKING PARENT WHO GAVE THEIR
- ` ~ _ ~ `/----/( FUCKING IDIOT DIPSHIT KID A WHISTLE:
/ / `&
ad ( ( ) DIE SCREAMING
`(O)_`&_.%
|
|
|
|
o
%
__
(::\
_____ _\::\__
/| _(::( \::\__ JIMBO WALES IS A WP:FAGGOT AND NEEDS WP:DICK
/ | _(::\::\ \::\:\
\ |_(::Y\""`.\__\_|""\
\___\/__\ ___________\
( ( \ x \ __ _ _ _\
|_:__\~ \ \_ |\| `(__\
|z: \ \ \ |"\\_7 _)\
|i: \ \ \
|p: \ # \____________\
|p: \ / /
cjr (o:______ \/____________/
%
)
( ) I'M AN ULTRA-HIGH ENERGY COSMIC RAY
.- ( -----.
/ 8//=/\=, /
`=========='|
| )\ | | FUCK MY TIGHT LITTLE BUTTHOLE
| ( ) | |
|__'"``__|/ VK
%
_ _
( \ / )
\ \.-------------./ / MY BONER HAS A FIRST NAME / IT'S B-O-N-E-R
$ )/
VK `.___________.' MY BONER HAS A LAST NAME / IT'S B-O-N-E-R
%
________ ___,,,,,,, LET'S ALL GO TO THE HARD ROCK CAFE
jgs [________>__________\
AND JAB KNIVES INTO OUR EYES
%
___
{-) |\
[m,].-"-. /
[][__][__] \(/\__/$/
[__][__][__][__]~~~~ | | NEXT POLITICIAN WHO SAYS "DIVISIVE" AGAIN
[][__][__][__][__][] / | IS GETTING PUNCHED IN THE RIGHT TIT
[__][__][__][__][__]| /| |
[][__][__][__][__][]| || | ~~~~ YES I'M LOOKING AT YOU OBAMA
ejm [__][__][__][__][__]__,__, \__/
%
_ _.-'`-._ _
;.'________'.;
_________n.[____________].n_________
|""_""_""_""||==||==||==||""_""_""_""]
|"""""""""""||..||..||..||"""""""""""|
|.. .. .. ..||..||..||..||.. .. .. ..|
,,;;,;;;,;;;,;;;,;;;,;;;,;;;,;;,;;;,;;;,;;,,
;;jgs;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;
ALL I CAN SAY IS IS I'M *DEFINITELY*

NOT VOTING FOR GEORGE W. BUSH THIS
TIME AROUND !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
WAIT WHAT
%
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,ad8P"' ,8P' `"Y8ba,
,ad88P' ,8P' ""Yba,
a8P"Y8P d8' `"Y8a
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,88" d8' 88 ``"Y8888,
d88" 88 88 `"Y8b
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d8' 88 Y8, `Y8Y"" ``""Y888ba, `8b
,8P 8I "8b `8b `""Y8b, Y8,
d8' 8I Y8, `8b "Y8a8b
88 Y8, `8b `8b, `Y88
88 I8b Y8, `8ba,______________ 88
88 `88, `8b, `Y88888888888888888bbaa,. 88
88 I8b `8b, 88" 88""""Y88bba, 88
88 88, "Y8, 88 88 ""888ba, 88
Y8, `Y8, `Y8a ,8P ,8P 88""Y88b, ,8P
`8b `8b, "8b, ,d8' ,8P' ,8P "88bd8'
88, "8b, `Y8a. ,d8' ,d8' ,88' `Y88
`8b `Y8, "Y8b, ,d8' ,d8' ,88" d8'
Y8, `Y8b "Y888P' ,8P' ,88" ,8P
Y8, "8b, ,d8P' ,8P' ,88" ,8P
Y8, `Y8b, ,d8P" d8" a88' ,8P
"8b, "Y8888P"' ,dP" ,88" ,d8"
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"Y888PP""' ,a8P" ,a8P" ,ad8P"
""Y88bbbaaaadd88888bad88P"" NV
"""""""""""""""
I CAN'T WAIT FOR SPORE TO COME OUT BECAUSE BOY HOWDY I SURE DO
WANT TO DESIGN CREATURES THAT LOOK REMARKABLY LIKE PENISES AND
WANGS AND COCKS AND DICKS AND JOHNSONS AND WIENERS AND DORKS
WHAT'S THAT YOU SAY ?!?!?!?!? THERE'S A SPORE CREATURE CREATOR

OUT ALREADY ?!?!?!?
(THE INTERNET MYSTERIOUSLY FILLS UP WITH HUGE STEAMING TURDS)

%
_____
/ \
(____/\ )
|___ U?(____
_\L. | \ ___
/ /"""\ /.-' | |\ | IF YOU THINK ABOUT IT
( / _/u | \___|_)_|
\| \\ / / \_(___ __) MY BALLS ARE AWESOME
| \\ / / | | |
| ) _/ / ) | |
_\__/.-' /___( | |
_/ __________/ \ | |
// / ( ) | |
( \__|___\ \______ /__|____|
\ (___\ |______)_/
\ |\ \ \ /
\ | \__ ) )___/
\ \ )/ /__(
___ | /_//___| \_________
_/ ( / OUuuu \
`----'(____________) MR
%
__,--'\
__,--' :. \.
_,--' \`. BIPOLAR DISORDER IS A SERIOUS DISEASE
/|\ ` \ `.
/ | \ `: \ `/ IT IS CHALLENGING AND CAN AFFECT YOUR
/ '| \ `:. \ JOB AND FRIENDS
/ , | \ \
/ |: \ `:. \
/| ' | \ :. _,-'`.
\' |, / \ ` \ `:. _,-'_| `/
'._; \ . \ `_,-'_,-'
\' `- .\_ |\,-'_,-' SO WALK IT OFF, FAGGOT
`--|_,`'
jrei `/
%
.-.
(/^\)
(\ /) NO FAIR
.-'-.
/(_I_)\
\\) (//
/ \ I HAD TO PLAY PORTAL AS A WOMAN
\ | /
\|/
/|\
\|/
jgs /Y\
%
_)_
.-'(/ '-.
/ ` \
/ - - \ MY FIRST NAME IS "STARCHILD"
(` a a `) BECAUSE MY PARENTS HATE ME
\ ^ /
'. '---' .'
.-`'---'`-.
/ \
/ / ' ' \ \
_/ /| |\ \_
`/|\` |+++++++|`/|\`
/\ /\
| `-._.-` |
\ / \ /
|_ | | _|
jgs | _| |_ |
(ooO Ooo)
%
,-""-. /)
/ c/-} //
( ,--)T-. // NEWS FLASH:
`/ ,_) )\__,-/
/ /. \'_,-"< GLORIA STEINEM IS STILL WHINEY
/ / ) _`).__
_/,' ( ""-."-. ALSO MORE CREAKY, SCRATCHY
'-/ _/`-----. ),'
o!O '"-'"""----"
%
`;.`;'.
`;);.(~;(`;
`(;);;;;;);(::`
;)(; ; ;;~;;;(; SHOVING
`(`;;~- -~(;~;)`)
;(`;) ' ;);;; ; AND PUSHING
`;);;(;`\ ^_/(;)~;;);
(;);.;) ':);( ..(; AND CRYING AFTERWARDS
`'((;); )(.');`:
;.' );("'(""/; ;`.) AND FILING A HUMAN RIGHTS COMPLAINT
| | / / \ \;);:
| |/ /WwW\ \;`'
\ /) .X.\ \
\_/ .X. \_/ TS
%
_
(_) _
_ .=. (_) NURSES DO IT WITH CARE
(_) _ //(`)_
//`\/ |\ 0`\\ MINERS DO IT DEEPER
||-.\_|_/.-||
)/ |_____| \( _ PHYSICISTS DO IT WITH GREATER TORQUE
0 #/\ /\# 0 (_)
_| o o |_ WATCHMAKERS DO IT FOR HOURS
_ ((|, ^ ,|))
(_) `||\_/||` THE BLIND DO IT WHEN THEY FIND EACH OTHER
|| _ || _
| \_/ | (_) LAWYERS DO IT IN THEIR BRIEFS
0.__.\ /.__.0
`._ `"` _.' PIZZA DELIVERY MEN DO IT IN 30 MINUTES OR LESS
jgs / ; \ \
0'-' )/`'-0 WHORES DO IT FOR MONEY
0`
... WAIT, THAT ONE DOESN'T REALLY WORK
%
_ _
( \ / ) I WONDER
\ \.-------------./ /
\( )/
VK `.___________.' DOES CORY DOCTOROW PREFER TANGY OR SPICY DICKS
%
_,,,_
.' `'.
/ ____ \ I'M PRETTY SURE WOMEN
| .'_ _\/ JUST MADE UP THE TERM
/ ) a a| "FRIZZ"
/ ( > |
( ) ._ /
) _/-.__.'`\
( .-'`-. \__ )
`/ `-./ `.
| \ \ \
jgs | \ \ \ \
|\ `. / / \
%
..,;;;;,.
.:((()()())):.
:(()"'"'""'()): BLAH BLAH SAVING GRACE BLAH BLAH
.:()"<*>.<*>"():.
:())) ._. ((():
(())\ -=- /(())
.'(()) - (())('.
/ ))\ /(( \
______/ /( \_/ ) \ \______/
________( : )_________
\____._._____/
)===[]===(
TC / \
%
___ .--.
.--.-" "-' .- |
/ .-,` .' FOR THE LAST TIME
\ ` \
'. ! \ I HAVE BEEN CHARGED FOR THE WRONG PORN
| ! .--. |
\ '--' /.____ I WANTED TO WATCH DOUBLE PENETRATION
/`-. \__,'.' `\ NOT HOT LATINAS
__/ \`-.____.-' `\ /
| `---`'-'._/-` \----' _ PLEASE REMOVE HOT LATINAS FROM MY
|,-'` / | _.-' `\ BILL AND CHARGE ME ONLY FOR THE
.' / |--'` / | DOUBLE PENETRATION
/ /\ ` | |
| .\/ \ .--. __ \ | THANK YOU
'-' '._ / `\ /
jgs `\ ' |------'`
\ | |
\ /
'._ _.'
``
%
|
-x-
|
v . ._, |_ .,
`-._\/ . \ / |/_
\\ _\, y | \//
_\_.___\\, \\/ -.\|| I LOVE YOUR BALLS YOU KNOW
`7-,--.`._|| / / ,
/' `-. `./ / |/_.'
| |//
|_ / PSYCHE I'M ONLY USING THEM TO
|- | GET INTO THE THEATER FOR FREE
| =|
| |
--------------------/ , . \--------._
jg
%
| CHRIST IF YOU'RE MY LORD WHY DO YOU PISS ON ME SO MUCH
___O___
\/|\/ PTHHT PTHTHTH FFTHTH MORE PISS ISN'T REALLY AN ANSWER, CHRIST
//
\\ PTHHHFH FTHHE AAHHHH EWWWW THAT WAS A HAIR
|
%
^
/ \
\ / SPONGEBOB SQUAREPUNCH
| |
| |
| 0 |
// ||\\
(( // ||
\\)) \\
//|| ))
( )) //
alyosha // ((
%
______
,-' ; ! `-.
/ : ! : . \
|_ ; __: ; | IF YOU DON'T PLAY WITH MY JUNK
)| . :)(. ! | I WILL RING YOUR DOORBELL AND RUN
|" (##) _ | SO HELP ME GOD
| : ;`' (_) (
| : : . |
)_ ! , ; ; |
|| . . : : |
|" . | : . |
|mt-2_;----.___|
%
________
_jgN########Ngg_
_N##N@@"" ""9NN##Np_
d###P N####p IT'S GREAT THAT THERE'S AN
"^^" T#### "ASPERGIAN WIKIPEDIANS" CATEGORY
d###P IN WIKIPEDIA, THE GREATEST THING
_g###@F SINCE SLICED BULLSHIT
_gN##@P
gN###F"
d###F JUST THINK: WHEN THE EXECUTION
0###F ORDERS ARE GIVEN, THEY'VE ALREADY
0###F SIGNED THE ROLL CALL
0###F
"NN@'
___
DH q###r
""
%
_
,' `,. IF YOU PUT CHOCOLATE SYRUP ON VANILLA ICE CREAM
>-.(__) THEN IT MAKES IT TASTE ALL CHOCOLATEY
(_,-' |
`. | TRUE STORY
`.| hjw
`
%
___
//)))))
)))@_@) IDLY GLANCING AT WOMEN'S MAGAZINES ON THE
((( = ) MAGAZINE STAND OF GROCERY STORES HAS TAUGHT
))) -(_ __ ME A NEW WORD: VA-JAY-JAY
/ `-'\\ /,\\\`
/__| )y | APPARENTLY DEMONSTRATING THAT WOMEN ARE TOO
< \ (\_/ STUPID TO PRONOUNCE WORDS PROPERLY ?????
`.\ \
{>>>` |
/`-'\____|
/ c \\ /
(C \_ _))\
`-'-._/ \
/ /\ \
/ ,' `. \ WAIT SHOW ME YOUR BA-BOO-BAYS
/ / \ \
<\_\_ \ \
`---` (_`-\_
`---' hjw
%
______
.==<_\),__)
,o(_/) /|
///// /___/ | OKAY TOO MUCH BOOZE TIME FOR MY SAVING THROW-UP
//// ___/
// \
/ /-'
/ , /
( | |
\ \ |
) | |
/ / \ / GET IT
( / | /
\/ (/ S-v
%
_ _.-'`-._ _
;.'________'.;
_________n.[____________].n_________
|""_""_""_""||==||==||==||""_""_""_""] WELCOME TO THE CLOSED TOILET
|"""""""""""||..||..||..||"""""""""""| LID OF AMERICAN POLITICS
|.. .. .. ..||..||..||..||.. .. .. ..|
,,;;,;;;,;;;,;;;,;;;,;;;,;;;,;;,;;;,;;;,;;,,
;;jgs;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;
%
..ooooo..
888 ,d888888888b. ocgmmo
888 d8P"' `"Y8b 88888P IF I SAY "POMO" THAT IPSO FACTO
888.d8P Y8b d88888' MAKES ME REALLY SMART
Y88888 88,888888
`88888 88888888'
Y8888b d8888888' ALSO: IF I SAY "IPSO FACTO"
Y8888b.. .,d888888P' THAT MAKES ME REALLY SMART TOO
`Y88888888888888888P'
`"Y8888888888P""'
d8P' `""""""' `Y8b
,d8888888P d8P Y8b Y8888888b.
`Y888888P d8P Y8b Y888888P'
cgmm Y8b. d8P Y8b ,d8P
%
.="=.
/\_ /|6 6|\ _/\ WRITE ME A CHECK FOR $1,000.00
\_//O\_+_/O\\_/
\\\/`"""`\/// THEN WRITE ME ANOTHER FOR $2,000.00
\ ($) /
./---/_\---\. IF YOU KEEP DOUBLING THE AMOUNT AND WRITING
/`"---------"`\ CHECKS TO ME, GOOD THINGS WILL HAPPEN TO YOU
/ / | \ \
/ / | \ \ I'M A FORTUNE COOKIE THEMED PONZI SCHEME
jgs `._._.-'-._.-'-.'
%
,--.--._
------" _, \___) TRUTH TO POWER !!!!! (SQUIRT) TRUTH TO POWER !!!!!!
/ _/____) (SQUIRT) TRUTH TO POWER !!!!!! (SQUIRT) TRUTH TO
\//(____) POWER !!!!!!! (SQUIRT) TRUTH TO POWER !!!!! (SQUIRT)
------\ (__) TRUTH TO POWER !!!!!!!! (HORRIBLE SPLATTERY DIARRHEA)
JW `-----"
%
\ |/ , MEN'S ROGAINE FOAM
/\$^/, '
@ @ -\ I PUT IT ON MY BUTT AND ON THE BOTTOM OF MY FEET
c /\
= \ tre
%
,,,,,
////""\ .
(((/ m m -|- __
)))c = ) | (__)
////-./~` . []
(((( `.`\ :: []
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(() `._.-'` _( )[]
)/ `. | .'`^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^))\`.----'`[]
jgs ( \' { ~ - ~~ _ ~ - ~~ - ~ - (( | | []
.-.--\ \ { )) | | []
|_;_._`\ |{ ((__|_|-----[]
| ; ``` ;{ )) []
| /``-.____/ `~~~[]~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~'-' []
`' (__) (__)
DEAR GOD,
IF YOU REALLY EXIST
PLEASE KILL EVERYONE

WHO HAS EVER USED THE WORD
"HUGGLE" IN A SENTENCE
AMEN
P.S. MAKE THAT A VIOLENT DEATH PLEASE

%
LOOK AT ME I'M SMART !!!!!!!!!11111
__..-..__ WHITE HAT GREY HAT BLACK HAT WHITE HAT

______ | __""""===,,,,__ _ _ GREY HAT BLACK HAT WHITE HAT GREY HAT
___| |--| | ,------/-/,_) BLACK HAT WHITE HAT GREY HAT BLACK
|______|--|______|/ PG HAT WHITE HAT GREY HAT BLACK HAT
%
_.._..,_,_
( )
]~,"-.-~~[ DEAR FRIEND
.=])' (; ([
| ]:: ' [ I HEREBY DUB YOU
'=]): .) ([
|:: ' | BEER THE FIRST
PMH ~~----~~
%
_______
---' ____)
(_____)
(_____)
VK (____)
---.__(___)
_______
---' ____)____ I'M GOING TO GIVE MY DAUGHTER THE MIDDLE NAME
______) "CRIMEFIGHTER" BECAUSE I'M PRETTY SURE THAT
_______) WILL MAKE OTHER KIDS TREAT HER WITH KINDNESS
VK _______) AND RESPECT PLUS I'M A FUCKING HOMO (AS
---.__________) EVIDENCED BY THE FACT THAT I PUT NAIL POLISH
_______ ON MY FINGERNAILS AND WEAR TOO MANY RINGS)
---' ____)____
______)
__________)
VK (____)
---.__(___)
%
'.-----/`.
/ '/ AS A KITTEN I DON'T UNDERSTAND THE KITTEN-TAIL CONGRUENCE
__'`__ .''-.
\o) o/ \ SPECIFICALLY THAT THE TAIL I LIKE TO PLAY WITH AND BITE
(`Y .) \ IS IN FACT A PART OF ME BUT HEY WHATEVER BACK TO WORK
`--|__7 \
/ |
__ / / NOM OW NOM OW NOM OW NOM OW NOM OW NOM OW NOM OW NOM OW
\ ) \ // NOM OW NOM OW NOM OW NOM OW NOM OW NOM OW NOM OW NOM OW
\ \--X Y // NOM OW NOM OW NOM OW NOM OW NOM OW NOM OW NOM OW NOM OW
(-`.`--_.-' /_) NOM OW NOM OW NOM OW NOM OW NOM OW NOM OW NOM OW NOM OW
BP `-.__.-' NOM OW NOM OW NOM OW NOM OW NOM OW NOM OW NOM OW NOM OW
%
_____
/ _)))
/ / 6 6
( ( \ WILMA FROM BUCK ROGERS ?!?!?!?!?!??
/ ,' __=
/ _ ) /_ ) UNF UNF UNF
( /\__~__|(
/\/__)__) )
( /\ (_
\| \__'/ \
:o / \
/\ _/ )
\/ |
| |
| |
) | EWWW SHE'S ALL OLD NOW
/| )
/ |________| UNF UNF UNF ANYWAY BECAUSE I'M A REAL TROOPER
| / \ |
|/ ____\!_______
/ )\
/( '-.\_ ..
b'ger /,/ .. .
%
.-~~\
/ \ _
~x .-~_)_ I'M IN THE INIMITABLE SNOWMAN
~x".-~ ~-.
_ ( / \ _
|| T o o Y ||
==:l l < ! I;==
\\ \ .__/ / //
\\ ,r"-,___.-'r.// WAIT WAIT I GOT THE ADJECTIVE WRONG
}^ \.( ) _.'//. PLEASE COME BACK
/ }~Xi--~ // \
Y Y I\ \ " Y
| | |o\ \ |
| l_l Y T |
l "o l_j !
Row \ / FUCK
___,.---^. o .^---.._____
"~~~ " ~ ~~~"
%
_.._
.' .-'` HAS ANYONE NOTICED HOW THE WORD QUR'AN LOOKS LIKE KLINGON
/ /
| | HINT: THAT'S HOW YOU KNOW THEY'RE BAD GUYS
\ '.___.;
jgs '._ _.' (THE TURBANS HIDE THE FOREHEAD RIDGES YOU SEE)
``
%
.--._
`. `-.
.-' `. THIS IS JUST LIKE ANDROMEDA STRAIN
.' _..:._
`. .--.' `. EXCEPT WITH LESS 70S AND MORE COCKSUCKING
_.' \. .--.\
.' | | |
`--. | .--| D
`; /'\/ ,`---'@
.' .' '._ `-.__.' WAIT WAIT SORRY I WAS THINKING OF
.' .' _.`---' JULIE STRAIN
.'--'' . `-..__.--.
jgs ~-= =-~_- `-..___( ===; SO NEVER MIND CARRY ON
~-= - - .' `---'
%
_____
j_____j
/_____/_\ MAXIMUM RAPE
|_(~)_| |
| )"( | |
hjw |(@_@)| | (A LITTLE KNOWN CRYSIS SUIT MODE)
|_____|,'
%
~o__.__O LET'S DANCE TO THE LUSITANIA TWO-STEP
\_)--:--/
ejm / <\ OOPS WHAT WAS THAT GLUG GLUG GLUG
%
.-"""-. SARAH SILVERMAN NEEDS DICK -- AND URGENTLY
/ o\
| o 0).-. TO WIT: MINE
| .-;(_/ .-.
\ / /)).---._| `\ ,
'. ' /(( `'-./ _/|
\ .' ) .-.;` /
'. | `\-'
'._ -' / (PLEASE FORGIVE THE VISUALIZATION OF A
jgs ``""--`------` BABY OTTER AS OUR ART DEPARTMENT SUCKS)
%
.,,-~&, ,~"~.
{ /`,__\`. > ::::
{ `}'~.~/\ \ <, ?::; I HAVE A GREAT IDEA
{`}'\._/ ) } l_ f
,__/ l_,'`/ ,__}--{_.
{ `.__.' ( / } LET'S ORGANIZE A RAVE AND THEN JUST
\ \ ) ) / ! GAS ALL THE PEOPLE THAT COME
\'\`-'`-' / , 1 J;
\ \___l,-_,___.' /1 ! Y
k____-~'-l_____.' | l / THEN START IT UP ALL OVER AGAIN
/===#=l l f IN ANOTHER LOCATION EVERY FEW WEEKS
f 8 I===I=I
t ! 8 f }
Y \l | } THE BEAUTY OF THE IDEA: THEY'LL NEVER
\ \ l Y; CATCH ON BECAUSE THEY'RE ALL HIGH
`. \ } |
!`, \ | |
l / } ,1 |
l/ / !l ,l
/ ,' ! \ \
/ /! ! \ \
/_,f_l l___j. \
(_ \l_ `_ ,.-'`--( `.,'`.
Y\__Y`--' `-'~x__J j' >
,/ ,^'
mab f__J
%
|/|
| | WIENERS
|/|
| |
|/| WIENERS WIENERS
| |
|/| WIENERS
(___)
(___)
(___) WIENERS ??!?!?!?!?
(___)
(___)
// \\ WIENERS WIENERS WIENERS WIENERS WIENERS WIENERS WIENERS WIENERS
// \\ WIENERS WIENERS WIENERS WIENERS WIENERS WIENERS WIENERS WIENERS
|| || WIENERS WIENERS WIENERS WIENERS WIENERS WIENERS WIENERS WIENERS
\\EMC//
--- WIENERS IS MY SAFE WORD BUT IT DOESN'T SEEM TO BE WORKING -- NURK
%
_ _
| |------------| |
.-'| | | |`-. I'M A HOT-LINE RAPE COUNSELOR
.' | | | | `. BUT NOT A VERY GOOD ONE
.-' \ \ / / `-. AS IT TURNS OUT
.' _.| |--------| |._ `.
/ -. .' | | | | `. .- \
/ `( | |________| | )' \
| \ .i------------i. / |
| .-')/ \(`-. |
\ _.-'.-'/ ________ \`-.`-._ /
\.-'_.-' / .-' ______ `-. \ `-._`-./\
`-' / .' .-' _ _`-. `. \ `-' \\
| .' .' _ (3) (2) _`. `. | //
/ / / (4) ___ (1)_\ \ \ \\
| | | _ ,' `.==' `| | | //
| | | (5) | B.T.| (O) | | | //
| | | _ `.___.' _ | | | \\ APPARENTLY IT DOESN'T HELP
| \ \ (6) _ _ (9) / / | // TO CALL THE CALLERS
/ `. `. (7) (8) .' .' \ \\ STUPID WHORES WHO DESERVE IT,
/ `. `-.______.-' .' \ // LAUGH, AND THEN ASK THEM
/ `-.________.-' \ __// ON A DATE BECAUSE THEY'RE
| |--' OBVIOUSLY EASY
|================================|hjw
"--------------------------------"
%
()()()()()()
|\ |
|.\. . . . |
\'.\ |
\.:\ . . .|
\'o\ | I EAT THE DIMENSIONS THAT NEVER EVEN GOT TOURISM GOING
\.'\. . |
\".\ |
\'`\ .|
\.'\ |
tre \__\|
%
emmmmmm~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~\ LET'S ALL PROGRAM IN MPW
""""""|_____ ) AND TAKE OUR OWN LIVES
Elijah """""""""--------"""
%
(\
(\ ,) YOUR SEARCH - SPANKONOMICS -
,) (\ ,) DID NOT MATCH ANY DOCUMENTS.
(\ ,) ) , )
) , ) ', , ) SUGGESTIONS:
' , ) ' , , )
' , , ) ' , , ) * MAKE SURE ALL WORDS ARE
' , , ) .' , , ) SPELLED CORRECTLY.
' , , ).' , , )
( , ,( , , ) * TRY DIFFERENT KEYWORDS.
' , ,' , , )
' , ,' , , ) * TRY MORE GENERAL KEYWORDS.
' . ' ~ . , , )
. ' ` ., ) . ' , * BEAT OFF LESS, FREAK.
. ' ` . ' , ,)
. ` '. . ." , ,)
<` (o) " , ,)
`~. .~ ~ ~ " ' . . ` . , ,) LGB
` . . . . . ` ` . `
%
|
- * -
|
___ ___ __ __ __
((")) /(")\ {')\ {')\ {')\
((-)) ,,o,,,, |\^/| |-\ \ |-\ \ |-\ \
| @ | \___/ | o | B| \_\ D| \_\ Q| \_\
|___| /\ /\ |___| |___| |___| |____| ldb
WHAT THE FUCK HUFF HUFF HUFF THIS IS A LONG FUCKING RIDE
THIS HAD BETTER BE IMPORTANT
%
.,.,
(((((()) I'M A DAW SURFACE CONTROLLER
((('. .`)
((G \ |) ,~~~,
__.(((` ~ , --. __ ,~~~~~,
_---'\_\/.((\.:v: \ /_/`--_ ( )( ))
<._ __(__ .| `"'. __)__ _.))( )(((
`-/_/ \_\ `---' /_/_\_|.-' (( )( ))) \\\
`-------\\\-----' ))( )((( \,))))
\\\`-( (( )( ))) (!\/
`--. \ ---))( (((--- /!,'
\ \ / (( ) ))) \ /.,.|
\ \ / ` ))( ((( '\ \ /.,!.|
\ \/ / \(( ) ))) )\ \/.,::.|
\ / \ | \ |,::!.|
\_/ \ | \_|:.:!!|
) | |.|:::!!|
/ | |.|!::!!|
/ | |.|!:::!|
/ Y \ `~|!!::!|
' ( \ |!!::.|
` `. \ |.!.:.|
\ `. \ |.!...|
\ |`. \ |...!.|
\ | \ \|...!.|
) ) ) |..!!.|
/ ( / /|!.!!.|
| \ | / |!.!!.|
\ / | / |!_~-'
ejm98 \ / | / `~
)( ) (
(__) (__ `.
`._`..
%
.
. THE GIVING BALLS

/^\ .
/\ "V" BY SHEL SILVERSTEIN
/__\ I O o
//..\\ I .
\].`[/ I
/l\/j\ (] . O
/. ~~ ,\/I .
\\L__j^\/I o
\/--v} I o .
| | I _________
| | I c(` ')o
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_/j L l\_! _//^---^\\_ -Row
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
%
oooOOOooo
oOOOOOOOOOOOOOo
oOO" "OO
____oOO ==== ==== OOo____ WHY IS THE COUNT SINGING
\ OO' ! !.---. 'OO / A SONG ABOUT FUCKING COOKIES
\ OO <0> ! !!<0>! OO /
\ Oo ! !'---' oO /
\o \_/ o/
.' _______________ '.
,' : V V : '.
,' -_ _- '.
,' "oOOOOOo" '.
,' OOOOO '.
----------- "OOO" -----------
"O" cgmm
%
_.._
/ a\__,
\ -.___/
\ \
(\____) \ I'M A DUCKFUCKER
|\_( ))
_____| (_ /________
_\____(______/__
gnv ______
//
ww_ ___.///
o__ `._.-''''' //
|/ \ , / //
\ ``,,,' _// WHO FUCKS CHICKENS STRANGELY ENOUGH
`-. \--' .'`. SO IT'S KIND OF A MISNOMER
\_/_/ `.,'
\\\\
,,','` AsH
%
_____
_.'_____`._
.'.-' 12 `-.`.
/,' 11 1 `.\
// 10 / 2 \\ ITS
;; / ::
|| 9 ----O 3 || RAPE
:: ;;
\\ 8 4 // TIME
\`. 7 5 ,'/
'.`-.__6__.-'.'
((-._____.-))
_)) ((_
'--'SSt '--' ...AGAIN
%
///.
// 7 [[CATEGORY:FORMER LIBERALS]] ????
Y `-__.`. .\\
/ .----' 7'/ [[CATEGORY:ACCUSED DICK-TOUCHERS]] ????
/ / \\/ \
/___/ | a=' I'D LIKE TO SUGGEST AN ADDITIONAL WIKIPEDIA
\ \ /_ / CATEGORY:
/ / \\ \
/ .' \\ \ [[CATEGORY:PEOPLE WHO WERE MEAN TO ME
`--` ''-' AsH IN HIGH SCHOOL (P.S. I HAVE ASPERGER'S)]]
%
A SINGLE DICK IS A MOUTHFUL
/~-____-_
//; ~~~~-~---____
/// .'\ \ ~~/
/// \,\_)\ /
/// ,\~. _/ /
//'_ ','~ \\ /
// ~~~---____ /
// TY ~~~~~~~--/
A MILLION DICKS IS A STATISTIC

%
_________________
/________________/|
_,-----._ | _______________ ||
_,-'. _,-' _ ---`-. |[_______________]||
_,-' .`. _'_ __'.|__`. `. |\ | ||
,-' , `. `.`-.,-' `-. \,`.`. \ .------| \ | ||
| __ (_`._ ` ,' / `.`. _,-' '------| / | ||
\ \,`. ) / _,' \ _,-' |/ | .. ,--. /. ||
`.`. ,' _,-' `.-' | \\((__))' ,` ||
`-.___,-'_,-' | `-;--:-' ||
|_________________|/
jrei
T GOOGLE CONGRATULATIONS FOR FINALLY CHANGING THAT

ABSOLUTELY FUCKING SHITTY GOOGLE MAIL FAVICON
%
_________________________________
|| | | | | | | | | | ||
|| | | | | | | | | | || CRY HAVOC
|| | | | |__|__| | | | || AND LET SLIP
|| | |__|--' '--|__| | || THE DONGS
|| |__| |__| || OF WAR
||__| |__||
(_) (_)
KCK
%
_____
/ '`-._
| -. \ HEY BOB BARR ANNOUNCED HE'S
_.,--. '----- | / RUNNING FOR PRESIDENT
,-'' `. / ,' AND I HADN'T HEARD OF IT
/' _--\ | ___ | /
| ' | |,.''' ''--:_
| ,' \ | ,--.. `.
\____/ /' _( '. '\
/ /' '-. . ____
| | \ O,-' '\
| `\ , |
\ | \. O / _/
__\,.\ `-'''\__,. -' |
| _,.-=. ,/
VJ `.____,' \ _,-' WEIRD
'--------'
%
_______________ |*\_/*|________
| ___________ | .-. .-. ||_/-\_|______ |
| | | | .****. .****. | | | |
| | 0 0 | | .*****.*****. | | 0 0 | |
| | - | | .*********. | | - | |
| | \___/ | | .*******. | | \___/ | | I'D HIT IT
| |___ ___| | .*****. | |___________| |
|_____|\_/|_____| .***. |_______________|
_|__|/ \|_|_.............*.............._|________|_
/ ********** \ / ********** \
/ ************ \ / ************ \
-------------------- --------------------
-------------------- --------------------
%
. O . .\./.
|\_/-\_/| |+|
\+__+__+/ @@@@@ BEWARE THE WRATH OF THE ITCH KING
@ (.).) (.).)@@@
\ , >\ < @@@
\\__ / q @@
\ .| \ /G
__| \__ | |
/ \\ // \ /...\
\\// /.....\
\/
O arm
%
__________________________
|.-----------..-----------.|
|| || ||
|| || ||
|| || ||
|| || ||
||_ || || WHEN YOU SEE IT
|| '. || ||
|||\ \ || ||
||;_\_;______||___________|| YOU'LL SHIT BRICKS
||--,-.------..-----------.|
|| \| | _.||"'--. ||
||\ | | _." .||-"_) `) ||
||_) `" .-.|| __.-' ||
|| ( ||` ||
|| ' . | || ||
|| () \ || .-. ||
||\/_ | _||' _;\ ||
||_`_____/_'_||____/______||
'---------------------jgs--'
%
___
/___\_/
|\_/|<\
(ò`) ` __(\_ |\_
\ ~ /_.-`` _|__) ( ( ( ( /()/
_/`-` _.-`` `\|
.-` ( .-.
( .- \ / `-._
\ (\_ /\/ `-.__-()
`-|__)__/ / /``-. /_____8
\__/ / `-` `
/>| /
/| J L HEY FOLKS GET READY FOR THE ART OF WAR II
`` | |
NDT L___J POOR WESLEY SNIPES
( |
.oO() MAYBE HE SHOULD HAVE PAID HIS TAXES
%
_____
| D
| | I HAVE ANGRY BONER SYNDROME
| |
\___| _
|| _______ -( (-
|_'(-------) '-'
| /
_____,-\__..__|_____Pr59
%
z
z ENOUGH WITH THE FUCKING DREAM SEQUENCES ALREADY
Z
.--. Z Z TRY ACTUALLY WRITING YOU FUCKING HACKS
/ _(c\ .-. __
| / / '-; \'-'` `\______
\_\/'/ __/ ) / ) | \--,
| \`""`__-/ .'--/ /--------\ \
\\` ///-\/ / /---;-. '-'
jgs (________\ \
'-'
%
,'"".
) ,| YAY A REMAKE OF THE DAY THE EARTH STOOD STILL
/ /,'-.
/ // /.`. WAIT
,' // / `.`.
( )--.`. //| WHY IS THE ALIEN MAKING ME BUY CARBON CREDITS
|`--'| `.`.// |
`--' `./ /
| | /
|_________|/ -shimrod
%
.-.
(/^\)
(\ /) I'M TWEETING ABOUT TWATS
.-'-.
/(_I_)\
\\) (//
/ \
\ | /
\|/
/|\
\|/
jgs /Y\
%
.-.
.-. | COULD BILL MOYERS JUST GET IT OVER WITH
.-. | | AND SUCK A FUCKING COCK ALREADY
| | | | ___
| | | |/ _ \ ___
| /o\_'||.' o `.
| \=/ /|| `---'
\ ___// \
\____/ (`__') SORRY I MEANT BILL O'REILLY
///////\\\\\\\
`--.____.--'
%
_ _
(_) / ) DON'T LET INCONTINENCE LIMIT YOUR LIFE
| (_/
_+/
//|\ COMMIT SUICIDE, GROSSY
// | )
(/ |/ s-v
%
.---. .---. OOH A DICK
/ .-./ \.-. \
/-( /`._______.'\ )-\ OOH A DICK
( ) \ / ( )
`-' \ / `-' OOH A DICK
\ /
\ /
VK |`-^-'|
| | OOH A DICK (REPRISE)
%
.-_
."'. //, )
" \,'``'`,
`. \ . '# ) NERF FIGHT ????? NERD FIGHT ??????
`"'( ,_,. _
_..'. `"/ `)-. AREN'T THOSE THE SAME THING
.``)_ `-` _-` `-`
`-' /`- \_ ,
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.-.
___ ( ) ___
,_.-' `'-| |-'` '-._,
'. .-| |-. .'
`~~~~` |.') `~~~~`
(_.|
|._) YOU KNOW WHAT'S EVEN MORE AWESOME THAN BLOGGING ?!?!?!?
|.')
(_.| BLEGGING
|._)
('.| THAT'S WHERE YOU USE YOUR BLOG TO BEG FOR MONEY
|._)
jgs '-' ONE WOULD THINK IT WOULD BE HARD TO BECOME MORE
DOUCHEBAGGY THAN BLOGGING IN THE FIRST PLACE
BUT WOULDN'T YOU KNOW IT BLOGGERS FOUND A WAY
%
_,,,,
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-/_ / ,-. * _/ \ \__ ___
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/ _ o \ _/, _/ _/ / \
/ / ,_/ __/ /_ . _/ \_ _\
/ / \ o// _/ /_\__/ \_/ \
/__o/ \___| _/ / x( \/ '-,__
_// \__ __/\ \ x\ |______\
\ \> \ \ \ |
// | \__ \ '-'
/ /
\___( NEXT PERSON TO SAY "NUANCED"
/_/ GETS KICKED IN THE NADS
/ O \
'- \__
\_____) b'ger
%
__ __ _
_.-._ _.-`-._ _ _.- .-' -' `-._
.-`-- ._`-._`-. `-.`-._..-`__.-' _.-` `-.
.-' `-._ `-._ `-._ `-. _ _.--' _/ ``-.
.-'"`-._.. \_ _ _.-' _.-' _\
.' \_ \_ `-._/_.-` _.- /__.- ` \
| _.' `-._ `-._ _ _.-` _/ _.-` _.'(
\`-._ .' ) _/ __/ _.-'/ _.'
`._ \_ _.' `-._/ -._ _.' _/ _/ / __.-'(
\`-._`-.)_ ._ _.-`_/ _(_ _.' )
( `-.__`-. `-. `--.__. _.' |
/ (`-. `-._ __/ _.' .;:::=. |
( .-===. (`-. `-._ _/ _/ / .-. )
` ' .-. \ ``-. `-._ _.' '-._) (
) (_.-' : `-. _.' _/' `--=. `.
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; .' `-. ._ _.) / \
' ( `-. _/ _' / _.-- )
/ \ `-. `-. )`-._ `.-. .' .` __.-`
( -._ '.\ `-. `-._ -.`-._ _`-. ( _.-'.-'
`-.__`---' \ `-. . `_`(` _.\ _.-' ___)
'-.'-.._ \ `-. `-.` ) _.-' _.-``'./`._ '._)
'-.'-.'-. ) `-. `( ) ) _.-' .-'`-.__`-.-'
('__\ `-. `-. `-.))_\ _.' _.-' _.-'_.-'.-'
(_.'`-._`-.`-.`-.``-._` `-. _.-' _.-' _.'-.'_.'
`-.`-.`-.`-.`-._`-._` `-. _.-' _.-' ).-'_.'
`-.`-.`-_.`-.`-.`-._` `-._ _.'_.).-' _.-'
`-.`-.`-.`-.`-.`-._` `-.__.-'_.--' LGB
`-._`-.`-.`-.`-.`-.
`-.`-.`-.`-.`-.` WIKIPEDIA IS THE BEST MMORPG EVER
`-.`-.`-.`-`
TRY MAKING LIFE DIFFICULT FOR ALL THE OTHER EDITORS
AND YOU CAN SEE HOW FUN IT CAN REALLY BE
%
__.__ RECREATE SIXTY-HUHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
.' ``--. OH GOD WAIT I HAVE TO SIT DOWN FOR A BIT
.-' .-:-._ . \ AND TAKE A BREATHER BECAUSE MAN I'M WINDED
[) `--' :;) | FROM ALL THAT STOMPING AND, YOU KNOW, TALKING
:--. -' /
`----) | OKAY HERE WE GO AGAIN: RECREATE SIXTY-HUHHHHHHHH
/ | COUGH COUGH SPUTTER DUHHH FAT FAT FAT
/ | \
/ | SERIOUSLY FOLKS WHAT I MEANT TO SAY WAS
| | RECREATE SIXTY-EIGHT
/ | FUCK YES I GOT THROUGH IT THAT TIME
| \ THIS FEAT WARRANTS A CHEESEBURGER
/ ;
/ AsH P.S. NO I DON'T REALLY KNOW WHAT I'M PROTESTING
%
_
__ - I HOPE AMELIA EARHEART IS OKAY IN ATLANTIS OR
/ __ \ THE BERMUDA TRIANGLE OR WHEREVER SHE'S HIDING
/ _ - |
| ' | (_) | _L/L
| __ / / _LT/l_L_
\ \ __ / _LLl/L_T_lL_
- _T/L _LT|L/_|__L_|_L_
_Ll/l_L_ _TL|_T/_L_|__T__|_l_
_TLl/T_l|_L_ _LL|_Tl/_|__l___L__L_|L_
_LT_L/L_|_L_l_L_ _'|_|_|T/_L_l__T _ l__|__|L_
_Tl_L|/_|__|_|__T _LlT_|_Ll/_l_ _|__[ ]__|__|_l_L_
jjs_ ___ _LT_l_l/|__|__l_T _T_L|_|_|l/___|_ _|__l__|__|__|_T_l_ ___ _
. ";;:;.;;:;.;;;;_Ll_|__|_l_/__|___l__|__|___l__L_|_l_LL_
. .:::.:::..:::.";;;;:;;:.;.;;;;,;;:,;;;.;:,;;,;::;:".'
. ,::.:::.:..:.: ::.::::;..:,:::,::::.::::.:;:.:..
. .:.:::.:::.:::: .::.::. :::.::::..::..:.::. . .
. ::.:.: :. .::: ::::.::.:::.::...:. .:::. .
FUCK IT'S HOT .:. .. . ::.. .: ::. ::::.:: ::::::. .
. :. .. :::.::: ::.::::. ::. .
\ . . .:. :.. :::. ::..: :.
nn_r nn_r . : .:::.:: ::..: .
/l(\ /l)\ nn_r . ::. :. : : ..
`'"`` ``"`` /\(\ . . .:. . : .
' "`` . :. .
. .
.
%
_ _.-'`-._ _
;.'________'.;
_________n.[____________].n_________
|""_""_""_""||==||==||==||""_""_""_""]
|"""""""""""||..||..||..||"""""""""""|
|.. .. .. ..||..||..||..||.. .. .. ..|
,,;;,;;;,;;;,;;;,;;;,;;;,;;;,;;,;;;,;;;,;;,,
;;jgs;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;
VPILF
%
______________________________________________________
__________|___________,_______________________________
__________|__________//,______________________________ WHY
__________|__________\|/;..___________________________ DON'T
__________|___________\\//\,._________________________ THESE
__________|___________/ '\/_________________________ ASSHOLES
__________|__________/,* _ |_________________________ UPDATE
__________|_________( ) ( ) (_________________________ THIS
__________|__________\( " \________________________ WEB
__________|____________) \\______________________ COMIC
__________|___________( \\\___________________ MORE
__________|____________\ ( \\ \\\_________________ FUCKING
__________|____________(\ \\ \\ \\\_______________ OFTEN
__________|_____________\\ \\ \\ \\\_____________
__________|______________\\ \\ \\ \\____________
__________|_______________\\ \\ \\ \\___________
__________|________________\-\ \\\ \\\\___________
__________|_________________\ /\_ \\\ \\___________
__________|__________________(( \-___- \\\__________
__________|___________________\ \_______ \\\_________
__________|____________________\ \_______ \\\________
__________|_____________________\ \________\\\_______
__________|______________________\ \________\\\______
__________|_______________________\ \________\\______
__________|________________________(--)_______________
__________|___________________________________________ BRAWK
__________|___________________________________________
bni
%
/\_ _ __
__ _ $ ! )/_/ __
\_\( % )>o<})# )/_/
_(%>o<(_!_)>o<#)_
/_/(_% ( | (_#_)/_/ WORLD PEACE IS A PRACTICAL OBJECTIVE IF I
( ! (~>O<~) % ) _ SQUINT REALLY HARD AND THINK HAPPY THOUGHTS
_({>O<}(_|_)%>O<%)_>
/_/(_!_)# )( (_%_)
_(#>o<#)>o< )_ AND THEN APPLY THIS AUTOMATIC RIFLE LIBERALLY
/_/(_#_)(_|_)\_\
\/ hjw
%
_
\`\
\ \
\ \
\ \
\.\
\.\
\.\
_ \.\/)
_ _-' ')__ (\.\/)
/ / \.'`'-\/)\\ MARIKO BLEW HERSELF UP ?!?!?!?!?
\__ ,.-'(_ Y (_\.$
/ < ,\ \ ,\\.\\
\_ \ _. /y(_| : |\.\| FUCK THIS MOVIE (CHOP)
_\_\<o>\ | : | \.\
( `'-._>/ ) \| \.\
\ `:=. (\ \.\
\_ ( `--._)`--'\.\=7
_/|\_ \-._ `-:_ /```-3
/ | `- \ t--._ Y _3
,-' | / | /``'-.\--T x\
_/ _( ,./ / ( \ x\
_.-/ \ / < \ \ x\
<`' / |\/ `-. : \_x\
\ / | `. |
\_| / `.
| / `.
cjr / _/\ /
30oct01
%
.-.
______________"_)
\ .'
'-._ _.-' WHAT'S MORE REWARDING THAN BARFING IN YOUR OWN SINK ?????
'. .'
fsc )(
/ \
/ \ BARFING *BEFORE* YOU MAKE IT TO THE SINK
: :
'------'
%
_
] \
\ `""---"""-._ WHO
`''----...._ `._ A
,--. `._;',`. WHAT
/ (""` _.--""""-._ ;-().`-.
\ `--'` _..---'-. ).__.'_/-. WHEN
`"""""` _.-'") .'`; |)|
.-' _./'.--V-'// WHERE
.-`_.-'` //
.' .- // COCKS
/ .' //
/ / sk //
|/ //
' //
//
%
_.._..,_,_
( )
]~,"-.-~~[ HEY I WONDER IF IT'S BEER TIME
.=])' (; ([
| ]:: ' [ LET'S ASK A COMPLETELY RANDOM PROGRAM (/USR/BIN/YES)
'=]): .) ([
|:: ' | WELL I CAN'T POSSIBLY DRINK THAT MANY BEERS
PMH ~~----~~
%
__i
|---| WELL HERE I AM LIVEBLOGGING MY OWN RAPE
|[_]|
|:::| THIS SURE DOES HURT
|:::|
`\ \ I DON'T KNOW WHAT RAPE VICTIMS DID BEFORE THE IPHONE
jsm \_=_\
%
DEAR PROTESTORS:
/|
/ \ , SHOW YOUR FUCKING FACE YOU FUCKING COWARD FUCKS
/ |\ `--'|
,----^ | `---/
/ \ GET ARRESTED AND TAKE YOUR MISDEMEANOR CHARGE
| C) C) | AND WEAR IT LIKE THE BADGE OF HONOR YOU'RE
| .___, | OBVIOUSLY CRAVING FOR TO JUSTIFY YOUR EXISTENCE
\. \_/ /
m1s `-----' INSTEAD OF LOOKING FOR AN UNCOMMITED WUSSY FUCK
%
...
.` o `._
: .--'
; (
,,,,..,' \ T SLATE I DON'T THINK YOUR
.---------,:-"---"`<<<<<<<: ; FUCKING DEFAULT FONT IS BIG ENOUGH
`----lc.. `-._<<`",._,.'` |
`""-.`""- -' ;
'".. ,/
~"^"~^''-..,m_m-'`~"^"~"^
~"^"~"^"~"^~
%
_/\_
_/\_\__/_/\_
_/\_\__/_/\_\__/_/\_
\__/ \__/ \__/
_/\_ _/\_ _/\_ ))))))
\__/_/\_\__/_/\_\__/ ///(((( , ,
\__/_/\_\__/ | ) \C >
(\__/ /| ; _=
\)/) / |___/ /_ _/\_
($/ (,_'_ ` ~ \ _,\__/
$/) $. ) .) \/.-///
(\(/ ) / \ |
$/) / , ( \/
($/ / ~ \
$/) / __ \ THIS REMINDS ME OF MY FIFTH BIRTHDAY
($/ ' \/ '
$/) \ ' /
($/ \ | /
$/) ) , /
($/ / /\ \
$ |/ \|
_/\_ | |
_/\_\__/_/\_ (| |)
_/\_\__/_/\_\__/_/\_ .|| ||
\__/ \__/ \__/ '= =' b'ger
%
____ ____
/ __ \ / __ \
/ / \ \ / / \ \ CAN'T WAIT FOR SPORE
\ \__/ /__\_\__/ /
\__/ /_________/ A.K.A. WILL WRIGHT'S EGO IS A DEAFENING ROAR
____ / / ____ \ \ ___
/ __ \/ / / __ \ \ \/ __ \
/ / \ \/ / / \ \ \ \/ \ \
\ \__/\ \ \ \__/ / /\ \__/ /
\____/\ \ \____/ / /\____/
_\_\______/ /_
/ ________/ /_ \
/ / \ \ / / \ \ A.K.A. BLACK & WHITE II: STILL UNSATISFYING
\ \__/ / \ \__/ /
Jiri \____/ \____/
%
NEVER | FORGET
_=_
\ /. _=
.-. _ .-_ | |_ | |
" _ | | | || \| |_.--. | |
| | |_| |-__| || | |,-.| |-_ __
|H|-| ' | | | |
|_| |Na
OH FUCK SHIT WRONG SKYLINE SORRY

%
,----. ,-. ,----.,------. ,-. ,-.,-. ,-.
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/ / __ ,' ,| | / ,---' / / ,' ,| | / // J P /
/ '-' /,' ,--. |/ / / /,' ,--. |/ // /| /
`----''--' `-'`'.--""""--.--' `-'`' `' `-'
nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn,'.n*""""*N.`.#######################
NNNNNNNNNNNNNNN/ J',n*""*n.`L \##### ### ### ### ####
: J J___/\___L L :#####################
nnnnnnnnnnnnnn{ [{ `. ,' }] }## ### ### ### ### ##
NNNNNNNNNNNNNN: T T /,'`.\ T J :#####################
\ L,`*n,,n*',J /
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,-. ,-. ,-. ,----. ,----.,-. ,----. ,-.
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| |. `. \ \ ` L \\ __\ \ . < \ \\ \ __ | |. `.
| .--. `.\ \`-'\ \\ `---.\ \L `.\ \\ `-` \| .--. `.
`-' `--``' `-'`----' `-'`-' `' `----'`-' `--'
WHY SHOULD I HAVE TO PRESS 1 FOR ENGLISH
WAIT IS IT THAT BECAUSE IT'S A TEST AND IF SOMEONE

HITS ANY OTHER NUMBER THE COPS COME AND KICK THEM
OUT OF THE COUNTRY ?!?!?!?
FUCK YEAH THAT'S AWESOME

%
A
___/_\___ FOR EACH ACCORDING TO HIS ABILITY,
',. ..' TO EACH ACCORDING TO HIS ABILITY TO WHINE
/.'^'.\
/' NS '\
%
/`.
/ `
/ /
/ /
/ /
___ / /
.' .' / /
.' .' / / /
=====' / / /
,' ,' \ / / THE BEST PART ABOUT WEARING
.'___,' ek \ / / DARK UNDERWEAR IS THAT
|_____`^^^^^---....---------====='''--.._ YOU CAN'T REALLY TELL
' ```''''----....____. /\________,'. WHEN YOU'VE
/ /---____,,..~'` SHIT YOURSELF
Eric / / /
/ / /
/ / /
/ / AM I RIGHT ?!?!?!?!?!
/ /
/ / COME ON GOTHS
/ / YOU KNOW I'M TALKING TO YOU
// /
// /
// /
// /
// _/
/_,-'
%
.======.
| INRI |
| |
| |
.========' '========.
| _ xxxx _ |
| /_;-.__ / _\ _.-;_\ |
| `-._`'`_/'`.-' |
'========.`\ /`========'
| | / |
|/-.( |
|\_._\ |
| \ \`;|
| > |/|
| / // |
| |// |
| $\ |
| `` |
| |
| |
| |
| |
\\jgs _ _\\| \// |//_ _ \// _
^ `^`^ ^`` `^ ^` ``^^` `^^` `^ `^
CATHOLICISM SUCKS !!!!!!!!!!
(I'M EDGY)
%
. _ . . . + . . . .
.(_) . . . . :
. . . . . . . . . . . . -+-
. . . . . / : .
. . . . /. . . . . . / . . ' .
. + . / . . . / .
. . / . . . *. .
. . . * . . . . . . .
. . . . . + .
. . . . . . ,-._ . . . . . . .
/ |)
. + . ___/\_'--._|"...__/\__.._._/~\ . . .
. _.--' o/o "@ `--./\ . .
/~~\/~\ '` /(___ `-/~\_ .
. .-' /`--'_/ \ `-/\_
_/\.-' /\ , \ __/~\/\-.__
.' `
dp
FOLKS LET'S JUST REMEMBER THAT WE SHOULDN'T JUDGE ANYONE'S CULTURE

BECAUSE ALL CULTURES ARE EQUALLY GOOD AND NO ONE CULTURE COULD
BE ANY BETTER THAN ANY OTHER CULTURE
ESPECIALLY ONES WHERE YOU SELL YOUR DAUGHTER INTO WHAT IS BASICALLY
SEXUAL SLAVERY TO A 40-YEAR-OLD MAN AND NOBODY BATS AN EYELASH
THOSE ARE THE MOST EQUAL OF ALL I GUESS

%
,=""=, I THINK I'M SUFFERING FROM POST-PARTUM DEPRESSION
c , _,{ FROM MY OWN BIRTH
/\ @ ) __
/ ^~~^\ <=.,__/ '}=
(_/ ,, ,,) \_ _>_/~
~\_(/-$'-,_,_,_,-'(_)-(_) -Naughty
%
.--.._
| _ ` ARE YOU ABSOLUTELY SURE THERE'S NO WAY IN THIS BUG DATABASE
fsc |(") TO RESOLVE THIS BUG AS "RESOLVED/PLEASE KILL YOURSELF"
J' `.
|/,\' BECAUSE THAT SEEMS LIKE SOMETHING THAT'S REALLY NEEDED HERE
|\|/
%
,-"""-. I HATE IT WHEN THE POO STICKS TO THE ROOF OF MY MOUTH
/ - -'.
db, 0 0 '---. IN THAT SENSE IT'S A LOT LIKE PEANUT BUTTER
88b, \
8888 0 |
8888, '.____,'/ ONLY POO IS MUCH TASTIER
Y88P \ .------'
jgs `` |=(
/ ',
| \
| \
| | ;
| | |
,_(__/ /
`--\ .-' WAIT THIS IS A SNOOPY FROM PEANUTS, NOT PEANUT BUTTER
| ||__
/ '--.` FUCK OUR OUTSOURCED ART DEPARTMENT
'------`
%
_____
.-" .-. "-.
_/ '=(0.0)=' \_
/` .='|m|'=. `\
\________________ /
.--.__///`'-,__~\\\\~` HEY EVERYBODY DID I MISS
/ /6|__\// a (__)-\\\\ TALK LIKE A FAGGOT DAY ?!?!?!?!?!?
jgs \ \/--`(( ._\ ,)))
/ \\ ))\ -==- (O)(
/ )\((((\ . /)))))
/ _.' / __(`~~~~`)__
//"\\,-'-"` `~~~~\\~~`"-.
// /`" ` `\
//
%
sSSSSSs
SS;; SSSS
S< ?SSS WHAT IS MICHELLE MALKIN'S PROBLEM ANYWAY
S> SSS
___)(____
( \/ )
\||, )( ( / (
\\/ /\ / \ \
\./ )==( / /
/ \//'
( '|\`
\ /
\ /
) (
/ \
jgs / \ DOESN'T SHE REALIZE POLITICAL PUNDITRY IS MAN'S WORK
/ \
`-........-'
/ ) / )
/_/|/_/|
%
_,-/\^---,
;"~~~~~~~~"; _/;; ~~ {0 `---v
;" ::::: :: "\_ _/ ;; ~ _../
;" ;; ;;; \___/:: ;;,'~~~~
;" ;;;;. ;; ;;; :: ,/
/ ;; ;;;______;;;; ;;; ::,/ I MET A NICE GIRL AT THE BAR
/;;V_;; _-~~~~~~~~~~;_ ;;; ,/ AND ASKED HER TO SHOW ME "GAPE"
| :/ / ,/ \_ ~~)/
|:| / /~~~= \;; \~~= PLEASE GET YOUR MIND OUT OF THE
;:;{::~~~~~~= \__~~~= GUTTER IT'S THE NAME OF HER FERRET
;~~:; ~~~~~~~~~ Targon ~~~~~~
\/~~ OR WAIT WAS IT HER BEAVER I FORGET
%
_ _
(c\-.--/a)
|q: p /\_ _____
__\(_/ ).' '---._.---'` '---.__
/ (Y_)_/ / : \-._ \
!!!!,,, \_))'-'; ( _/ \ '\\_
!!II!!!!!IIII,, \_ \ / \_ '.\
!IIsndIIIII!!!!,,\ /_ \ |----.___ '-. \'.__
!!!IIIIIIIIIIIIIIII\ | '--._.-' _) \ | `'--'
'''!!!!IIIIIII/ .',, ((___.-' / /
'''!!!!/ _/!!!!IIIIIII!!!!!,,,,,;,;,,,.....
| /IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII
| \ ''IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII
\_,) '''''!!!!IIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!!!!!!!!
''''''''''!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I'M A PETA MEMBER AND I THINK THAT WE SHOULD ALL TREAT

ANIMALS ETHICALLY WHICH MEANS THAT WE SHOULD LET THEM
OUT OF CAPTIVITY AND NOT HAVE PETS OR DO ANYTHING TO
ANIMALS AT ALL EVER BECAUSE WE'RE SO TOTALLY MEAN
AFTER ALL ONE THING'S FOR SURE FROM THOSE NATURE SHOWS:
ANIMALS SURE DO TREAT EACH OTHER ETHICALLY YES SIRREE
%
, LOOK AT ALL THE WASTED EFFORT THAT GOES INTO WIKIPEDIA
|\ /\/ \/| ,_
; \/` '; , \_', IF ONLY WE COULD HARNESS THESE PEOPLES' ENERGIES
\ / AND EFFORTS INTO SOMETHING MORE CONSTRUCTIVE
'. .' /`.
jgs `~~` , /\ `"` OH WAIT WHAT THE FUCK AM I THINKING OF WIKIPEDOS
. `" CAN'T FUCKING DO ANYTHING USEFUL AT ALL
THAT'S WHY THEY'RE WIKIPEDOS

%
_
( \nnnn / / I'M SEXUALLY AROUSED BY FEET BECAUSE EVIDENTLY
(` \ / I DO NOT UNDERSTAND HOW GENITALIA ARE SUPPOSED TO WORK
`-. \/
`, )
`` BP
%
VOTE FOR ME AND I'LL BITE THE HEAD
OFF BAD DUDES AND FIGHT ALLIGATORS,
MY FRIENDS
\
,,_--_,
\./ ,// _ _\ \./
;;\ // x x /;;;
\ \ | _\ / /
\ \ \ o / / /
\ `-'\__/-' /
\ \/ /
| /\ |
| |//|| REPUBLICAN PARTY
| \/ |
.--'-----'-----.
/| |
/ | |
| | ,d888b, |
| | J8888888L | :F_P:
| | 888888888 |
VOTE FOR ME AND HOPE AND CHANGE

AND HOPE AND CHANGE AND HOPE
AND CHANGE AND HOPE AND PERHAPS CHANGE
\
,,_--_,
\./ ,// _ _\ \./
;;\ // x x /;;;
\ \ | _\ / /
\ \ \ o / / /
\ `-'\__/-' /
\ \/ /
| /\ |
| |//|| DEMOCRATIC PARTY
| \/ |
.--'-----'-----.
/| |
/ | |
| | ,d888b, |
| | J8888888L | :F_P:
| | 888888888 |
VOTE FOR ME BECAUSE I LIKE STUFF

AND THINGS BUT SOME THINGS ARE BAD
AND HURF DURF I EAT MY OWN SHIT
\
,,_--_,
\./ ,// _ _\ \./
;;\ // x x /;;;
\ \ | _\ / /
\ \ \ o / / /
\ `-'\__/-' /
\ \/ /
| /\ |
| |//|| GREEN PARTY
| \/ |
.--'-----'-----.
/| |
/ | |
| | ,d888b, |
| | J8888888L | :F_P:
| | 888888888 |
VOTE FOR ME AND I WILL BE SO SHOCKED

I'LL PULL MY PANTS DOWN AND
SET MY OWN HAIR FIRE
\
,,_--_,
\./ ,// _ _\ \./
;;\ // x x /;;;
\ \ | _\ / /
\ \ \ o / / /
\ `-'\__/-' /
\ \/ /
| /\ |
| |//|| LIBERTARIAN PARTY
| \/ |
.--'-----'-----.
/| |
/ | |
| | ,d888b, |
| | J8888888L | :F_P:
| | 888888888 |
%
_____
___/ \___
`-._) (_,-`
\O _ O/
\ - /
`-( CRYSIS WARHEAD:
||
_||_ LESS BULLSHIT ALIEN BASE STUFF,
|-..-| MORE GOOD OL' KOREAN KILLING
|/. \|
|\__/| (NOTE IT'S NORTH KOREANS SO IT'S PERFECTLY ACCEPTABLE)
._|//\\|_,
`-(( ))-'
__\\//__ gnv
>_ /\ _<,
' '
%
,--._ _
"'. '. ,';
) '. ,' /
_/ '. ,' '.
-"__ '.; / ,`' ,-`
\ / ( ,===. _`. )
/__ `.__//.' \\/_.-`
'-,._.- \ \_/\\ ,-.
\.- / \_\\/||
_/\\ :o o :-'/;.`.
_,";-,;| :/"\ : // ||))
_..."((|_//||-.._\"// `` ;;''
/,-----"||" '' \`._
// ,'| `-.`-..._
:: ,',' '.__.=
:: ||| _
\\_ "" )) I WISH IT AND THUS IT IS SO
\_"--....';
'""---"' SSt
%
.##. __________________________
|::| | |oooooo
(<>) L_Y_Y_Y_Y_Y_Y_Y_Y_YL______
.JL,_. | |oooooo
||} { ))| H |oooooo
_______Y_//_)__(_((L_h_Y__Hh_h_h_h_h__L______
Y--------///()))----------------------------
| "(("^//"`
| \\(( WHY IS HOWARD THE DUCK SERVING DRINKS AT A BAR
| ))
| kg //\\_ I THOUGHT HE HAD A PROMISING MOVIE CAREER
~' ~
%
__ _|_
|+-==| .'.':`.`.
| |+--=| / / | \ \ NOM NOM NOM STOCK MARKET EQUITY
/'\ '+ -=| ^^^^^^^^^^^
//|\\ =| &C O__u | u O~
O ^^^^^ /\_u/\/uuu|uuu\/\
&C /|\_@| C__@ /) ( '--------' ,|
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\> ". ," </ BLAH BLAH BLAH
\>\ ". ," /</ HAVEN'T HAD MY COFFEE THIS MORNING !!!!
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__ "._/_ : ::: : _\_," __ HOW'S THE WEATHER TODAY ?!?!?!
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""---"":`-..:: \. ,/ ::.,-':""---"" HOW'RE THOSE INSERT SPORTS
__--"": :._____>|<_____,; ;""--__ TEAM NAME HERE ?!?!?!?!?!
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: ' ::.""".;: ' : CUT MY HEAD OFF AT THE NECK
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%
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::: GURRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRF I HATED GORF
:::
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%
EET MAIN STREET WALL STREET MAIN STREET WALL STREET MAIN STREET WALL ST
REET MAIN STREET WALL STREET MAIN STREET WALL STREET MAIN STREET WALL S
TREET MAIN STREET WALL STREET MAIN STREET WALL STREET MAIN STREET WALL
STREET MAIN STREET WALL STREET MAIN STREET WALL STREET MAIN STREET WALL
STREET MAIN STREET WALL STREET MAIN STREET WALL STREET MAIN STREET WAL
L STREET MAIN STREET WALL STREET MAIN STREET WALL STREET MAIN STREET WA
LL STREET MAIN STREET WALL STREET MAIN STREET WALL STREET MAIN STREET W
ALL STREET MAIN STREET WALL STREET MAIN STREET WALL STRE ______________
WALL STREET MAIN STREET WALL STREET MAIN STREET WALL ST |##############
REET MAIN ST __ ALL STREE __ N STREET WALL STREET M |##############
_____________| |_____ A _( ) IN STREET WALL STREET |##############
UUUUUUUUUUUUU|__|UUUUU| ,-' )_ MAIN STREET WALL ST |##############
UUU_UUUUUU_UUUUUU_UUUU|( ( / ) REET MAIN STREET W | __ __ _
UU|_|UUUU|_|UUUU|_|UUU|. \ ) _) ) ALL STREET MAIN ST | | | | | |
UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU| `. . ) ) REET WALL STREET M | |__| |__| |_
======================|(_ | ) _) AIN STREET WALL STR |
__ __ __ |(__(_|____)_______________________| __ __ _
| |__| |__| |__| |uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu,'.uuu| | | | | |
| |__| |__| |__| |uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu,' `.u| |__| |__| |_
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| |__| |__| |__| |=_====__================' | |__| |__| |_
======================|| | | | __ __ __ __ __ |______________
___ __ ________ ||__| |__| | | | | | | | | | ||+++++++++++++_
||_|_|| | | | || _______ |__| |__| |__| |__| |__||++.-------.+|
||_|_||- | | -| ||| | | |++| | |+|_
|_|_|| | | |_____||| |o | _ ____________ _ |++| |- |+++
---. _|--|__|--|_____|||===| |_|_|_ /_|__|_______| _|_|++|___|___|+++
----`. ___ ;---'---' | |_-| |__ | \
--(_)-'_ _\___________/________|____/_'-(_)-----(_)-' _\____|________\__
jrei____________________________________________________________________
EET MAIN STREET WALL STREET MAIN STREET WALL STREET MAIN STREET WALL ST
REET MAIN STREET WALL STREET MAIN STREET WALL STREET MAIN STREET WALL S
TREET MAIN STREET WALL STREET MAIN STREET WALL STREET MAIN STREET WALL
STREET MAIN STREET WALL STREET MAIN STREET WALL STREET MAIN STREET WALL
STREET MAIN STREET WALL STREET MAIN STREET WALL STREET MAIN STREET WAL
L STREET MAIN STREET WALL STREET MAIN STREET WALL STREET MAIN STREET WA
LL STREET MAIN STREET WALL STREET MAIN STREET WALL STREET MAIN STREET W
ALL STREET MAIN STREET WALL STREET MAIN STREET WALL STREET MAIN STREET
WALL STREET MAIN STREET WALL STREET MAIN STREET WALL STREET MAIN STREET
WALL STREET MAIN STREET WALL STREET MAIN STREET WALL STREET MAIN STREE
%
\ /
\ / I'M AN ANT
\.-./
(o\^/o) _ _ _ __
./ \.\ ( )-( )-( ) .-' '-.
{-} $// || \\/ ( )) '-.
//-__||__.-\\. .-'
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MJP (' (' ')
%
____
/___.`--.____ .--. ____.--(
.'_.- ( ) -._'. WE CAME IN PEACE
.'.' |'..'| '.'. FOR FUCK'S SAKE
.-. .' /'--.__|____|__.--'\ '. .-.
(O).)-| | \ | | / | |-(.(O)
`-' '-'-._'-./ \.-'_.-'-' `-' WHY AREN'T WE BACK YET
_ | | '-.________.-' | | _
.' _ | | | __ | | | _ '.
/ .' ''.| | / \ | |.'' '. \
| |( )| '. || || .' |( )| |
\ '._.' '. | \ / | .' '._.' /
'.__ ______'.|__'--'__|.'______ __.'
.'_.-| |------| |-._'.
//\\ | |--::--| | //\\
// \\ | |--::--| | // \\
// \\| /|--::--|\ |// \\
/ '._.-'/|_______/ |--::--| \_______|\`-._.' \
/ __..--' /__|--::--|__\ `--..__ \
/ / '-.|--::--|.-' \ \
/ / |--::--| \ \
/ / |--::--| \ \
_.-' `-._ _..||.._ _.-` '-._
'--..__..--' LGB '-.____.-' '--..__..-'
%
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||
||
||
||
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( ( ( `. || .-' .' `. )` - .)
(( .-' .-' `. `-. || .' .' ) ) - . ) )
( ( .-' `-. \ __/\__ / .' `-. `. ) )
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,' | HEAVEN'S GATE II:
.' |
,' | THIS TIME IT'S PERSONAL
.' /
| /
| |
| /
| |
| |
/ \
/ / |
/ .: |
/ . .: |
jro / .: .: ,'
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/ ' \ /,
Y | Y | I WAS GOING TO BE A HOROLOGIST
|- Q -| | BUT THEN I DISCOVERED IT ISN'T WHAT IT SOUNDS LIKE
| \ | |
.^\_,_/^./~|
|~~~~~~~~~| |
||~~~;~~~|| |
|| ;)c:|| |
|| '(; || |
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WHY CAN'T I EVER FIND ANY DECENT

SNUFF BUKKAKE
%
o ooooo NEWTON'S CRADLE
tQn
%
___ ,-`.
.-~~ ~~-.,-~ _~
#` `._-
.` _-~. CASSINI FLIES WITHIN 25 KILOMETERS OF ENCELADUS
| _- |
rwb ` _-~ '
. _-~`. _-~ .' ENCELADUS DECLARES WAR
,-' _,-~`-__ __-'
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%
_
_ < > _
_ < > | | < > _
/\ < > | | | | | | < > /\
@\\__| |_| |_| |_| |_| |__//@
\ _ _ _ _ /
/ /| | | | | | | | | |\ \
/ / | | | | | | | | | | \ \ IF YOU VOTE NO ON PROPOSITION 8
/ / | | | | | | | | | | \ \ AND YOU KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS RIGHT ???
/ / | | | | | | | | | | \ \
/ / | | | | | | | | | | \ \
/ / | | | | | | | | | | \ \ GAYS GROWING ON TREES
| | | | | | | | | | | | | |
\ \ | | | | | | | | | | / /
\ \ | | | | | | | | | | / /
\ \___| |_| |_| |_| |_| |___/ / AND I MEAN TRAIN-ALBINO-TIGERS GAYS
\__________ ___________/ NOT JUST-PREFER-DUDES GAYS
/ \
/________\wcs
%
`-. .-`
.-`-.
_-' `-
/ .' `-. \
: _.-^:'--.._ _..--':^''-._ :
_-':..-' / `V` \ '--:'-.
| / ^ \ : '.
| / .':'. \ |
: \ _' : '_ / : BEATING OFF WHILE WATCHING
: _-'``;'''` : `''';``'-. : THE FINAL SEASON OF THE SHIELD
\_- | ' . : . ' | './ IS:
.` \ :, . : . ,: / `.
/ : .' .o. '. : \ [ ] INAPPROPRIATE
| \ / . - ` . . ` - . \ / |
/ '>=.' '.=<' \ _' [X] REQUIRED
_ | `-,_ ` ' _,-` | _>-
-_ | / - ' \ | _- `. (PLEASE CHECK ONE)
`-_ | \ - . ' / | _-`
'_/ \._..-^-._ '/ \.'
`.-._ /' `-. _.-.`
\ `''`. /`'' /
\ `-_ _-' /
\ `-_ .-` /
_ : _...-' '...._ : _
`'':-'` `'-:-'`
cjr '. .'
%
_\\''/
-- o_o
// .__/ A POX ON BOTH MY BALLS
/ _/
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/ / /\ |
| |-\ |--..___/|
\_____/__(__`-,--._.'
gnv
%
_ .-.
( `. .' )
`. ` /'
| |
| | COULD SOMEONE NOTIFY ME WHEN BEN STILLER ACTULALY BECOMES FUNNY
_|66 |
(__, |
L_,)|
| |
,_/ |
| | ON SECOND THOUGHT, DON'T BOTHER
| |
/ '.
( , )
jgs '-' '--'
%
________ ___,,,,,,,
jgs [________>__________\
IT'S FUN JOINING KNIVES-ONLY SERVERS AND REFUSING TO COOPERATE
JUST SHOOT PEOPLE AND EVENTUALLY EVERYONE WILL START SHOOTING TOO
THE GUNS ARE IN THE FUCKING GAME FOR A REASON DIPSHITS
YOU SEE ?????????? ONE MAN *CAN* MAKE A DIFFERENCE

%
. ,-.
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'--. \ WTF HAX
)___\
,-; .'
_AsH \/ ,--.,
[__.-']/
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%
IF YOU LOOK CLOSELY YOU'LL NOTICE THAT
THIS ASCII ART IS A PORTRAIT OF MUHAMMAD
.
tQn
%
_.,-----/=\-----,._
(__ ~~~"""""""~~~ __)
| ~~~"""""""""~~~ |
| | ; , , ; | | DEUS EX SHIT
| | | | | | | |
| | | | | | | |
| | | | | | | |
| | | | | | | |
| | | | | | | |
| | | | | | | |
| | | | | | | |
|. \_| | | |_/ .|
`-,.__ ~~~ __.,-'
DF ~~~~~
%
___________
.;---------./| BODY WASH FOR MEN
// S O A P // |
|'---------'| / ISN'T THAT CALLED FUCKING SOAP
jgs | | /
'-----------'` NOTE: "FUCKING" IS AN INTERJECTION HERE, NOT A GERUND
I DON'T HAVE SEX WITH SOAP
I DRAW THE LINE AT SHAMPOO

%
__
,. _/ \_ ,.
.' ` ` `, A HITCHHIKER'S GUIDE REFERENCE ?!?!?!?
,.,' _["||"]_ `.,.
/ ," || `. \ *AND* A MONTY PYTHON REFERENCE ?!?!?!?!
'. / ,,1l,, \ ,'
_,' . ||__|| . '._ IN THE SAME PARAGRAPH ?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!??!
[ | ||""|| | ]
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`'`, `\/__\/" ,'`' SWOON
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| \ | | ; '-' '-' ; |~~~~~|
_\ \| |__ | (_) | | '__|_
(_` _)| . . | |. (__ \
`', |` | `-.___.-' | | (__ | WAIT THIS ISN'T THE HOLODECK
| | ; | : | ; | '(___ |
| | \ | : | / | . | |
| \____'._| : |_.'___;====| | WAIT
\ | : | /
jgs '------. '._.' .---------'`
| | WHY AM I NAKED NOW
| . ~ . |
| |
| |
|____.____|
/===========\
;:. | .::. ;
|:' |_'::' |
| .:. | |
|__':'_|___.::|
[______I______]
| | |
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| | |
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`"""""""""`"""""""""`
%
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. - ' ' ' ' -.
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|' ',_ ,-' .|
| '. ' . | I'M A PSYCHIC DETECTIVE
| ' , . ' |
| | ' - . _ . -| |
| '. | |
| | '. |
| '. |
| | ., |
| . , |
| | . ' |
| . ' | PAY ME MONEY TO WASTE VALUABLE
| | . ' | POLICE TIME AND EFFORT
!. ' ' .'
'.| ' , . NOT TO MENTION MONEY
' , ' ,. '
' - . , .-
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/ \ \ \
/ \ | | GOLF IS NOT A SPORT
''''''.| | |
`````'` | | |
/'''' - (| | | IT IS MORE OF A SLOW DRAINING OF THE SOUL
/'``` . | | |
/ ''''' / ./
/ '```` / |/
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/ / | /
/ / | |
/ / | |
/ / | |
==/ | |
| | ==/
| | / |
\ | Pru | |
V | |
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%
_____
/ \
(____/\ ) I READ A TEXTBOOK ON ECONOMICS WHILE
|___ U?(____ TAKING MY REGULAR DAILY SHIT
_\L. | \ ___
/ /"""\ /.-' | |\ |
( / _/u | \___|_)_|
\| \\ / / \_(___ __)
| \\ / / | | |
| ) _/ / ) | |
_\__/.-' /___( | |
_/ __________/ \ | |
// / ( ) | |
( \__|___\ \______ /__|____|
\ (___\ |______)_/
\ |\ \ \ /
\ | \__ ) )___/ WHICH NOW SEEMS STRANGELY APPROPRIATE
MR \ \ )/ /__(
___ | /_//___| \_________
_/ ( / OUuuu \
`----'(____________)
%
__)),
//_ _)
( "\"
\_-/ AMERICAN MCGEE PRESENTS:
,---/ '---.
/ - - \ HORRIBLE, SPLATTERY, NONSTOP DIARRHEA
/ \_. _|__,/ \
/ )\ )\_ \
/ _/ ( ' ) / /
/ | (_____) | /
/,' / \/ /,
_/(_ ( ._, )-'
`--,/ |____|__|
| ) |
| / |
| / \ |
/ `| | _)
| | | |
| / \ |
| | \ |
| \ | \_ EAT IT UP, FUCKERS
gnv /__( '-._`,
%
(()))
/|x x| GIANT DAVID PALMER ZOMBIE !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
/\( - )
___.-._/\/ DAVID PALMER COMES BACK FROM THE DEAD
/=`_'-'-'/ !!
|-{-_-_-} ! AND WANDERS THROUGH THE STREETS OF DOWNTOWN
(-{-_-_-} ! VISALIA BEING EXPOSED TO THE RADIATION FROM
\{_-_-_} ! THE NUCLEAR BOMB WHICH DETONATED THERE AND
}-_-_-} GROWS TO HUGE EX-PRESIDENT ZOMBIE SIZE
{-_|-_}
{-_|_-} MUCH LIKE CARTER
{_-|-_}
ZOT {_-|-_} DON'T GET CUTE WITH ME I SAW THEM I KNOW WHAT'S UP
____%%@ @%%_______
%
O @
_\|__ THE TRUTH WILL SET YOU FREE
/ ( )_\
;/__)_( AND THEN DRY HUMP YOU LIKE NOBODY'S BUSINESS
( )
/ | \
ejm ~ ~
%
___ //////
(__|_______--/| / ///
__/ +--+| |-\| (> )/ WTFO
|_|ooo+--+|_| /_ /
`-------' |_, //
|___/
%
.__ _..._
/,-./'.--. ``\.
/|/.--./`.o/ /`;\\
|||\ _ `-'_` o|/||
||\\`.`.__`Y8P_,\|| HOORAY INFLATION
\\|| `"\"""/---'||
\\| ,-' `.||//
\(-'_ `.
,-' [_] .-. \ THE FED SHOULD NOT BE LOWER
; `\| ||-'/ ` \ THAN MY BLOOD ALCOHOL LEVEL
\ /`""-.`\ | ; |
`.-|\_/ | ; ' |
\-._ / | | /
|`--'| : ;_\_
/| |/ /\|, )
__..; `----' :`.`|/
/ / | |
; .' `\' ;
\/ : _ :
: / / :
: _.'`.__.' | fsc
\ _.' \ /
| | / `---.._
| `\ `.____ \
/ | `------'
\__|_,'
%
54-40 OR FUCK
,__ _,
\~\| ~~---___ , | \
| / | ~~~~~~~|~~~~~| ~~---, _/, >
/~-_--__| | | \ / ~\~~/ /~| ||,'
| / \ |------| { / /~) __- ',|_\,
/ | |~~~~~~~~| \ \ | | '~\ |_____,|~,-'
|~~--__ | | |____ |~~~~~|--| |__ /_-' {,~
| | ~~~|~~| | ~~\ / `-' |`~ |~_____{/
| | | '---------, \----| | | ,' ~/~\,|`
', \ | | |~~~~~~~| \ | ,'~~\ / |
| \ | | | | \_-~ /`~___--\
', \ ,-----|-------+-------'_____/__----~~/ /
'_ '\| | |~~~| | | _/-,~~-,/
\ | | | |_ | /~~|~~\ \,/
~~~-' | | `~~~\___| | | /
'-,_ | _____| | / | ,-'---~\
`~'~ \ | `--,~~~~-~~, \
\/~\ /~~~`---` | \
\ / \ |
\ | JH '\'
`~'
%
.__ .-".
(o\"\ | | HURRAY LOTTERIES FOR TRILLIONS OF BLOGSHARE DOLLARS !!!!
\_\ | |
_.---:_ |
("-..-" / THANKS FOR WRITING DOWN "THIS IS FUCKING STUPID SHIT"
"-.-" / AND CIRCLING IT
/ | AND UNDERLINING IT
"--" AsH AND THEN DRAWING ARROWS POINTING TO IT
%
__
(`/\
`=\/\ __...--~~~~~-._ _.-~~~~~--...__
`=\/\ \ / \\
`=\/ V \\
//_\___--~~~~~~-._ | _.-~~~~~~--...__\\
// ) (..----~~~~._\ | /_.~~~~----.....__\\
===( INK )==========\\|//====================
__ejm\___/________dwb`---`____________________
IN A COMPETITIVE MARKET, THE PROFIT-MAXIMIZING MARGINAL

PRODUCT OF LABOR IS EQUAL TO THE WAGES FOR LABOR
EXPRESSED IN TERMS OF THE PRICE !!!!!!!112231323FSFDKFSD
WHEEZE COUGH CAN I HAVE MY NOBEL PRIZE NOW OR

WHATEVER IT IS THEY HAND OUT LIKE CANDY
%
_..-------++._
_.-'/ | _|| \"--._
__.--'`._/_\j_____/_||___\ `----.
_.--'_____ | \ _____ /
_j /,---.\ | =o | /,---.\ |_
[__]==// .-. \\==`===========/==// .-. \\=[__]
`-._|\ `-' /|___\_________/___|\ `-' /|_.'
hjw `---' `---'
I DON'T CARE WHAT ANY OF YOU SAY I'M NOT GOING

TO LET THE CURRENT FINANCIAL CRISIS RUIN
MY APPRECIATION OF THE NEW KNIGHT RIDER REMAKE
%
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._.-.\
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.' .' _.--._-='.' | `. ^.
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/ / / / /\ \ \ | \
/ / / .' .'\ `. .' \ | \ \
/ / / / / \ `- -' .`. . \ \ |
| / / .''\.' | `. .' `. \ | | |
.' / / / | | .'/ `.- `./ / |
| / .-| /--. / `. | _.-''\ | | \
.' / .-' | / `-.| .'\_.' `. |`. | |
| |.-' / / / \ \ \ `. \ \
| / / | / \ | `. `.| |
| | / `. | ` .' \ / \ \ /
| | ///.-'.\ | \ / `\ / /-. \ | |
| / \\\\ ` \.- | `-.\ |/ \\\\'. |
\ | \\\| | / \ | //// | /
| | ''' | / \ | |// | \
\ | |.- | \ .-| '' | /
\| / | / ` ../ / /
|' / | / | /
\.' | | `./ |/
/ \ / \
\ `. / \ / I GUESS MADONNA WILL HAVE TO
| | '. ' FIND SOME OTHER GUY TO
/ | | \ SUCK THE LIFE OUT OF
/ | / `.
| | | \ .' `.. \
/ / / ._`. \.'-. \`/ AND I MEAN THAT
LGB |/ / / `' ` |/|/ IN THE BAD WAY
\|\|
%
u" uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu "u IF YOU CANNOT LEGALLY VOTE IN
u" u$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$u "u THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA
u" u$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$u "u AND WANT TO GIVE US ADVICE
u" u$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$u "u ABOUT WHO/WHAT TO VOTE FOR
u" u$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$u "u IN TODAY'S ELECTION HERE'S
u" u$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$u "u MY RESPONSE
$ $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$ $
$ $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$ $
$ $$$" ... "$... ...$" ... "$$$ ... "$$$ $
$ $$$u `"$$$$$$$ $$$ $$$$$ $$ $$$ $$$ $
$ $$$$$$uu "$$$$ $$$ $$$$$ $$ """ u$$$ $
$ $$$""$$$ $$$$ $$$u "$$$" u$$ $$$$$$$$ $
$ $$$$....,$$$$$..$$$$$....,$$$$..$$$$$$$$ $
$ $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$ $
"u "$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$" u"
"u "$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$" u"
"u "$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$" u" GET FUCKED IN THE NECK DIPSHIT
"u "$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$" u" YOUR OPINION DOESN'T FUCKING COUNT
"u "$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$" u"
"u """""""""""""""""" u" GET OVER IT AND BUY A LATTE OR SOMETHING
""""""""""""""""""""
%
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
+++++++++++++#######+++++++++++++++++
+++++++++++###########+++++++++++++++
++++++++++##############+++++++++++++
+++++++++#####++++++++###++++++++++++
++++++++###++++++++++++###+++++++++++
++++++++##++++++++++++++###++++++++++
+++++++##+++++++++++++++####+++++++++
+++++++#+++++++++++++++++###+++++++++
++++++##+++++++++++++++++####++++++++
++++++#+++++++++++++++##++@##++++++++
+++++##++++++++++++##########++++++++
+++++##++++++++#+++##+####+###+++++++
+++++##++++#####+++#++#####+##+++++++
+++++##+++##+###+++#++++""++##+++++++
+++++##+++++#++#+++#+++++++++##++++++
+++++##++++@++++++++#+++++++##+#+++++
+++++#+++++++++++++++#++++++##+#+++++
++++++#+++++++++++++#++++++####++++++
++++++##+++++++++++####++++####++++++
++++++++++++++++@#+###++++++####+++++
+++++##+#+++++++++++++++++++##+#+++++
+++++#++++++++++++++##++++++####+++++
+++++#+@++++++++++######++++##+++++++
+++++#+#+#+++++++##+++#+++++##+++++++
++++++#++#++++++##+++###++++##+++++++
+++++++#++++++++++++++++++#####++++++
+++++++++#+++++++++++#++++#####++++++
+++++++++++#+++++++++++++###########+
++++++++++++#+++++++++++############+
+++++++++++++#++++++++##############+
++++++++++++++##++++########+#######+
+++++++++++++#++###########++#######+
+++++++++++###+++#########++########+
++++++++#######++++######+++########+
++++++#########+++++++##++++########+
+++++##########+++++###++++#########+
+++############+++++#++++++#########+
++##############++++#++++++#########+
++##############++++++++++####+++###+
+###############++++++++++###++#++##+
+###############++++ +++++###+###+##+
+###############++++++#++####+++++##+
+################+++++#++####+++++##+
+################++++++++######+####+
+#############++####################+
I CAN HAS BLAK PREZIDENT ????

%
@@@@@@@
@@ @@
@@ ^ ^ @@ OKAY !!!! I'VE DECIDED I'M GOING TO TAKE A STAND
@@ " @@ IN THIS HISTORIC ELECTION BECAUSE IT'S REALLY
@\ O /@ IMPORTANT !!!!!
'---'
____| |____
/ | | \
__| | \ / | |__
/ | | * | | \ WHAT DO I DO NOW
/ / | | \ \
/ / /|==%====|\ \ \ DO I HAVE TO REGISTER OR SOMETHING
/ _O/ / / _ \ \ \O_ \
JP / =,_/ / / \ \ \_,= \
/ / // \\ \ \
/ \__// \\__/ \
/ \
#################################
%
+-'~`---------------------------------/\--
||"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""" \\\\\\ \/~)
|| \\\\\\ \/_
|~~~~~~~~-________________-_________________\ ~--_
!---------|_________ ------~~~~~(-- )--~~
\ /~~~~\~~\ )--- \_ /(
|| | | \ () \\ I WAS MADE TO
\\____/_ / ()\ \\ SHOOT FILIPINOS
`~~~~~~~~~-. \ \\
\ \ <($)> \\ IT SOUNDS HORRIBLE
\ \ \\ WHEN I JUST SAY IT
\ \ \\ STRAIGHT OUT LIKE THAT
\ \ \\ BUT IT'S TRUE
\ \ () \|
_\_\__====~~~
%
\\\\////
|.)(.|
| || | WATCHING "I HAVE A WIFE"
\(__)/
|-..-|
|o\/o|
.----\ /----.
/ / / |~~~~| \ \ \
/ / / /|::::|\ \ \ \
'-'-'-'-|::::|-'-'-'-'
(((^^)))
>>><<<
||||||
(o)(o)
| /\ |
(====)
|_/\_| PORNOGRAPHERS SURE ARE GETTING
(_/\_) LAZY WITH THEIR MOVIE TITLES
_|_,__|_
jgs (___\____)
%
//
//
//
//
_______||
,-''' ||`-.
( || )
|`-..._______,..-'|
| || | WHO WANTS A WARM CUP OF MY PISS
| _______|| |
|,-'''_ _ ~ ||`-.| FOLKS IT'S NOT GOING TO DRINK ITSELF
| ~ / `-.\ ,-'\ ~|
|`-...___/___,..-'|
| `-./-'_ \/_| |
| -' ~~ || -.|
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`-..._______,..-'
%
_
/_'. _
_ \ / '-. WELCOME TO THE MASTURBATION AISLE
< ``-.;),--'` IN THE MASTURBATION CENTER
'--.</()`--. ON MASTURBATION ISLE
/ |/-/`'._\
|/ |=|
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.-._ | '. WELP IT'S 2008
: .. | :
'-._+ | .-' SO DAVID LETTERMAN'S SHITTY SHOW
/ \ .'i--i HAS SUCKED FOR WHAT, TWENTY YEARS NOW ??????
/ \ .-'_/____\___
.-' : fsc:
%
.------. .------.
.' //`. .' `.
/ // \ / \ MY BALLS ARE JOE
| // : | ......:::::
: // | :::::'''''' |
\ // / \ /
`._// _.' `._ _.' AsH
`"----"' `"----"'
%
+
(|) A NICE LITTLE OLD CHINESE LADY CAME BY AND
_____.___.|_|. WANTED TO TALK TO ME ABOUT THE MOTHER GOD
| / \ |===|
| / \ | o |
|__/__v__\|, ,|
| | | | | || ||
|/| . . . |','| SHE WAS DELICIOUS
||| A A A | , |
||| M M M | | wtx
---------------------
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| | / \ | \ \ |_______://|
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MJP
%
( )
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( ) TIPPECANOE AND TYLER TOO
( )
) )
( ( /\
(_) / \ /\
________[_]________ /\/ \/ \
/\ /\ ______ \ / /\/\ /\/\
/ \ //_\ \ /\ \ /\/\/ \/ \
/\ / /\/\ //___\ \__/ \ \/
/ \ /\/ \//_____\ \ |[]| \
/\/\/\/ //_______\ \|__| \
/ \ /XXXXXXXXXX\ \
\ /_I_II I__I_\__________________\
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%
,;;;, ATTENTION FOLKS
;;;;;;;
.-'`\ '/_ "TO DROP" IS NOT A VERB INDICATING THE RELEASE
.' \ ("`(_) _ OF AN ALBUM OR GAME OR PRODUCT OF SOME KIND
/ `-,.'\ \_/--(_)
\ \/\ `--`____________ IT MEANS TO LET SOMETHING GO SO THAT
\ \ \ I I I I IT FALLS TO THE GROUND AS IN: "IF YOU
/ /| | `. ,' THE WORD 'DROP' WRONG AGAIN, I WILL
/_/ |_| `-..__..-' DROP THIS ANVIL ON YOUR FUCKING HEAD"
jgs ( _\ ( _\ // || \\PG
%
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' ')# I LICK MY FINGERS TO HELP TURN THE PAGES OF THIS BOOK
|/ ? BECAUSE I AM IN LOVE WITH SALIVA
| o )\ AND SOMEHOW DON'T REALIZE THAT IT'S FUCKING GROSS
/__/\ \____
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\ /_______|
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//
_.-"""""'//-'""""-._
.', , , , : : ` ` ` `. THERE'S A REASON THAT PEOPLE ONLY EAT
/ , , \'-._ : :_.-'/ ` ` \ PUMPKIN-RELATED SHIT ONCE A YEAR:
/ , , :\(_)\ /(_)/ : ` ` \
| , , , \__//\\__/ . . ` ` | BECAUSE THAT'S THE ONLY TIME THEY HAVE TO
| . .:_ : : '--`: : . _: ; :|
| : : \\_ _' : _: :__// , , |
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+ / + *** (____) </ \/ \/ \/ \/ \
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/ * *
/
OUT OF VIETNAM / INTO MY WOMB
WAIT ON SECOND THOUGHT THAT'S

NOT A GOOD PROTEST CHANT AT ALL
%
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(_ ^\__^^^^^^^^^^^^))^^^^^^^)
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\| ...
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PLEASE WATCH `::::' Q Q ``::::::+.
"IF I WERE PRESIDENT" ._"__.' \
BY JIMMY WALES, ____ `==' _._
THE USELESS TOOL .' `
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I WONDER WHEN THE FIRST BRUSH FIRE IS

GOING TO BE BLAMED ON FAR CRY 2 PLAYERS
%
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/ ' \ /,
Y | Y | DEAR CONGRESS OF THESE FUCKING UNITED STATES,
|- Q -| |
| \ | | DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME IS ALREADY PLENTY FUCKED UP ENOUGH
.^\_,_/^./~|
|~~~~~~~~~| | LEAVE IT THE FUCK ALONE OR GET IT OFF THE BOOKS
||~~~;~~~|| |
|| ;)c:|| | BUT STOP FUCKING AROUND WITH IT YOU FUCKING FUCKS
|| '(; || |
|| ;)' || | SIGNED, THE UNITED STATES OF FUCKING AMERICA
|| {;} || |
|| ;)' || |
||:a(; || |
|| ;)' || |
|'~~~~~~~'|/^\
.^~~~~~~~~~^\./
~~~~~~~~~~~~~'
PjP
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CAN I SUBSCRIBE TO ALT.FAN.CHANGE.CHANGE.CHANGE

%
.------. .------.
.' //`. .' `. MY BALLS ARE TRENDING PURPLE
/ // \ / \
| // : | ......::::: AND THAT'S NOT WHAT IT SOUNDS LIKE
: // | :::::'''''' |
\ // / \ /
`._// _.' `._ _.' AsH
`"----"' `"----"'
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\
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\\ IN LIEU OF A REFUNDABLE TAX CREDIT I'LL TAKE A UNICORN
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| | \ / | | EVER BEAT OFF SO HARD THAT YOUR LEGS STOPPED WORKING
| | \ / | |
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|__||__| ||__
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IT HELPS FIGHTING WORLD WAR II IF JACK BAUER IS YOUR SERGEANT

%
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_______
/ /, I REFER TO DOCUMENTATION AS "DOCO" BECAUSE
/ // THAT'S THE ONLY WAY I CAN AVOID TAKING MY OWN LIFE
/______// IN A PUBLIC, HORRIBLE WAY
(______(/
JR
%
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//_ _)
( "\" IT SURE DOES NOT SEEM LIKE A COINCIDENCE
\_-/ THAT IT'S THE END OF "GAY FOR A DAY" DAY
,---/ '---. AND MY BUTT SURE IS SORE
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| / |
| / \ | I HOPE IT'S JUST FROM SITTING ALL DAY
/ `| | _) AND NOT OH GOD OH GOD OH GOD OH GOD
| | | |
| / \ |
| | \ | I THOUGHT I WAS JUST GETTING A DAY OFF
| \ | \_
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| /'--'\ | VERY NICE GOLDEN PLAQUE FROM THE BROWN FAMILY ACTUALLY
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* '--.8.-~` ~-Y-~ `~-.8.--' *
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* 8| \____/ _ \____/ |8 *
jgs '---.|\ / \ /.---'
||'-----' '-----'
||
|| *BLAGOJEVICH* SURE SOUNDS A LOT LIKE *BLOG* TO ME
||
||
||
||
|| AND THAT'S NEVER GOOD
|/
%
_______
___________________________.'.------`
'---------------------------.'
`. .' YAY ANOTHER DEBATE REGARDING
.-//`. .' ERROR CODES VS. EXCEPTIONS
.' .//.'/`================'
=[=:====:=]= \\|| HI FUCKFACES IT'S TWO THOUSAND FUCKING EIGHT
'. `--' .' LGB \_|
`- -'
%
_
_(<Ò , MY BALLS ARE HALAAL
==-( >`-/ \
,< \ / >
MK/ejm ---'--- `---'-
%
___ ____
|___| (____)
| | _) (_ YAY 4 ALCOHOL (THE TERRIBLE SEQUEL TO LEFT 4 DEAD)
_/ \_/~~~~~~\
/~~~~~~/ \
(______( X X X )
| X X X \ /
|______ )______(
(_______/________\ ad
%
ISN'T A TRICERATOPS BASICALLY JUST A REGULAR DINOSAUR BUT WITH
TWO GIANT HARDENED STICKS OF POO STICKING OUT OF ITS FACE
__.--'~~~~~`--.
.. __. .-~ ~-.
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\\\ .{ } / \ \
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~~----~~ \ \| ~~--~~~( + / ~-._ ~-._
/ / \ \ ~--.,___~_-_.
__/ / _\ )
.<___.' .<___/
%
,-._.-.
/_,._,._\ DEAR EVERYONE ON FACEBOOK:
\`-._.' / SHUT THE FUCK UP ALREADY
hjw \_____/
%
I HAVE DUAL CITIZENSHIP !!!!!!!111
PROVING ONCE AND FOR ALL THAT I _.-----._
DON'T KNOW WHAT THE FUCK BEING .' _.. \
A CITIZEN OF A COUNTRY MEANS / .-' \ \
.' | \ \
__..........______ __..-' | \ \
___..--' \ \ \ |
| | o O \ | |
\ \ `.._ _/ /
\ \ o ________..-'
\ '------'|
'^^._ __.-' LGB
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
%
$$ $
\O/$
$ |
/_\ SO THIS IS HOW THE WORLD ENDS
_|___|_
_|___|___|_ NOT WITH A BANG BUT WITH A DICK IN THE ASS
_|___|___|___|_
_|___|___|___|___|_
_|___|___|___|___|___|_ WHICH IS I GUESS A SORT OF BANG
_|___|___|___|___|___|___|_
|___|___|___|___|___|___|___| SO BRAVO, WORLD
\o/ \o/ \o/ \o/ \o/ \o/ \o/
| | | | | | |
/ \ / \ / \ / \ / \ / \ / \
hjm
%
1+1=2 /\ I'M AN ODD PERFECT NUMBER
\ c")
;-/\> YOU CAN'T YET PROVE I DON'T EXIST
|| SO IT'S TOTALLY LEGAL TO RAPE ME
kOs
%
* .--.
/ / `
+ | |
' \ \__,
* + '--' *
+ /\
+ .' '. *
* /======\ +
;:. _ ;
|:. (_) |
|:. _ |
+ |:. (_) | *
;:. ;
.' \:. / `.
/ .-'':._.'`-. \
|/ /||\ \|
jgs _..--"""````"""--.._
_.-'`` ``'-._
-' MY BALLS ARE REACHING MAX Q '-
%
.-"''-. _
.' `( \
@/ ') ,--,__,-" RIGHT NOW
/ / \ / / _/
__| , |/ / SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE
.~ `\ / \ , | / IS HAVING AN ABORTION
.~ `\ ` / _/ _/
.~ `\ ~~`__/ / HAPPY HOLIDAYS!!!
~ `--'/
/ / /
/ /' /jgs
%
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/__.-' \_.'jgs \ \ |-| I COLLECT FAMOUS PEOPLES'
AUTOGRAPHS BECAUSE I'M CREEPY
%
_
' `
,`-' __
( ,-" "---, _ ,' COULD SOMEONE FUCKING STUFF
`--"| ,' ,-" ' )--' / A SOCK IN DEEPAK CHOPRA
| / //",-",-._,'."-- . _
`/ .--="_.' / `.
; /`""" `-' ` I MEAN MERRY CHRISTMAS
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._-'-_ .
. ' /_-_-_\ ` . WHY DOES THAT BABY HAVE A H-H-HALO ????
.' |-_-_-_-| `.
ejm ( `.-_-_-.' )
!`. .'!
! ` . . ' !
! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! !
/ / \ \
_-| \___ ___/ /-_
(_ )__\_)\(_/__( _) OH PHEW IT'S JUST A SOMBRERO
))))\X\ ((((
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%
_____ _ _____ ____ /_ /,
| ,-, ) /'_`\ |_ _| | __| \ \>
| `-'< | (_) | | | | _| ) )__ ,_
|_|`\_\ \___/ |_| |_| (_.-'_)__$
;-''
I SPELL "THE" AS "TEH" DELIBERATELY SOMETIMES

BECAUSE IT'S REALLY FUNNY !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11111
%
____ WARNING: THIS PIZZA IS COMING DANGEROUSLY CLOSE TO MY MOUTHAL AREA
/ \
u u| _______
\ | .-''#%&#&%#``-.
= / ((%&#&#&%&VK&%&))
| `-._#%&##&%_.-'
/\/\`--. `-."".-'
| | \ /`./
|\/| \ `-' /
|| | \ / VK
%
.
\ | /
_\|/_
.' ' ' '. ___
_.|.--.--.|.___.--'___`-.
.'.'|| | ||`----'"` ``'`
.'.' ||()|()||
.___..-'.' / \ PAYING THE JIZYA IS STICKIER
`----'"` / .-. \ THAN I THOUGHT IT WOULD BE
(.'.(___).'.)
`.__.-.__.'
jgs |_| |_|
`.`-'.'
`"`
%
__ __ __ __ __ __ __ __
(// \\) __(// __ (// \\) __(// __ (// \\)
sjw /" / __ \\)" \\)_ /" / __ \\)" \\)_ /" / __
'|-..__..-''\_''-.\__..-'' '|-..__..-''\_''-.\__..-'' '|-..__..-''\
(\\ \_ _(\\ _/ (\\ \_ _(\\ _/ (\\ \_ //)
"" (\\ //)"" //) "" (\\ //)"" //) "" (\\ ""
"" "" "" "" "" "" ""
COME ON PEOPLE THERE'S NO REASON TO BE CRUEL:
NOT ALL WOMEN ARE WHORES
SOME OF THEM ARE CALL GIRLS

%
itz -_
`-;-_ ,--.__
`-;-/. ,/\-`.
_//"\\ l'/Y=|
/'-? \\ `;\-| I'M A PLAQUE-FORMING UNIT
,' ;/ \\ \|;
./' ;' \\ \(
,-" _;' \\ `
,-'_;-" \
"'
%
MY NEW YEAR'S RESOLUTION IS
TO CONTINUE BEING AWESOME
__ _.._
.-'__`-._.'.--.'.__.,
/--' '-._.' '-._./
/__.--._.--._.'``-.__/
'._.-'-._.-._.-''-..'
jgs
THIS MESSAGE WAS BROUGHT

TO YOU BY BACON
%
$$ $
\O/$
$ |
/_\ DEAR BAILOUT BEGGARS:
_|___|_
_|___|___|_ THANKS FOR MAKING IT THAT MUCH HARDER
_|___|___|___|_ FOR THE REST OF US TO ARGUE THAT
_|___|___|___|___|_ CAPITALISM ACTUALLY, YOU KNOW, WORKS
_|___|___|___|___|___|_
_|___|___|___|___|___|___|_
|___|___|___|___|___|___|___|
\o/ \o/ \o/ \o/ \o/ \o/ \o/
| | | | | | |
/ \ / \ / \ / \ / \ / \ / \
hjm
%
,-----------------.
| |
| : | IF I CALL HIM "BLAGO" DOES THAT MAKE ME COOL ?!??!?!
| : |
| : : |
| ,-----. : |
| %%%%%%% : |
| ####### : : |
| %%%%%%% ) |
| | | ( ( ( |
| | | ) . ) |
| |& | ( ( : : |
| (&$ `-. ) |
| `. $&& `. : |
| __`. * `. : | WHY ARE YOU STUFFING THAT SOCK DOWN MY GULLET
| / ""`-. ** \ | RATHER THAN ANSWERING ME
| \_______`-.___) |
`-----------------'
Krogg
%
______________
.-~.------------.~-.
,-~ ,'| /// || // `, ~-,_
,''"'`--|--------|`--------~~~ ~~- .,_
> _|__~ | ~ `. ____ ~ -.
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I======: ::____|__________;_;: ::======(
`------`. .'-------------------`. .'`------'
IT'S TOO BAD JEFF BRIDGES IS DOING HYUNDAI COMMERCIALS

FOR HYUNDAI
%
_ _
| \ / |
| \ _.--. .-. .-. .--._ / |
| `._..--' \ _..--'' '.' ''--.._ / '--.._.' |
.' o _.--._ o `-' _.--._ o o _.--._ `-' o _.--._ o '.
| _O .' '. O .' '. O .' '. O .' '. O_ |
|| | / \ / \ / \ / \ | ||
||_': : : : : : : :'_||
|| ': : : : : : : :' ||
||_| \ / \ / \ / \ / |_||
| O '. .' O '. .' O '. .' O `. .' O |
'. o '-..-' '-..-' o `-..-' `-..-' o .'
\ O o O O _ O o /
`--------------------------------------' `-------------LGB--'
FURRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRP
IT'S NOT FAIR TO SOCIETY THAT I'M THE ONLY ONE WHO IS
CAPABLE OF MAKING THIS MAGNIFICENT FARTS BUT THAT'S
JUST ANOTHER CROSS TO BEAR I GUESS
%
__
[__]
| | AND WHY IS MY SOLUTION TO EVERYTHING DRINKING
| |
| |
| |
| |
,----. /`-. \
( ) /-._| \
|`----'| | |
\ / |`-... |
`. ,' |'` . | | FOLLOW-UP QUESTION:
|| |`,'- | |
,-||-. |`-...| | WHY DOES IT WORK SO GODDAMN WELL
( '' ) | |
`----' `-....-'
jrei
%
____________________________
/ /\
/ _/ /\
/ NO ON 8K / \/
/ /\
/___________________________/ /
\___________________________\/ AAK
\ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \
I MEAN THE CPU NOT THE PROPOSITION

WHY ARE YOU GETTING ALL UPSET
%
(\
\'\
\'\ __________
/ '| ()_________) I'M TOO COOL TO WRITE OUT THE PHRASE
\ '/ \ ~~~~~~~~ \ "CONVENTIONAL WISDOM"
\ \ ~~~~~~ \
==). \__________\
(__) ()__________)
%
__
(`/\
`=\/\ __...--~~~~~-._ _.-~~~~~--...__
`=\/\ \ / \\
`=\/ V \\
//_\___--~~~~~~-._ | _.-~~~~~~--...__\\
// ) (..----~~~~._\ | /_.~~~~----.....__\\
===( INK )==========\\|//====================
__ejm\___/________dwb`---`____________________________________________
NOT PORN; DIDN'T CLICK

%
_________________________
|| || || ||
|| ||, , ,|| ||
|| (||/|/(\||/ || L
|| ||| _'_`||| || I
|| || o o || || L
|| (|| - `||) || INCARCERATED
|| || = || ||
ScS || ||\___/|| ||
||___||) , (||___|| THAT'S A TOTALLY AWESOME LINUX JOKE
/||---||-\_/-||---||\ (FUCK GRUB)
/ ||--_||_____||_--|| \
(_(||)-| S123-45 |-(||)_)
%
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. .-' '. I DON'T SEE WHAT
( (. )8: THE ISRAELIS ARE COMPLAINING ABOUT
.' / (_ )
_. :(. )8P `
. ( `-' ( `. . AFTER ALL WHOO HOO FREE QASSAM ROCKETS
. : ( .a8a)
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( 8) ( _.aP" _a \( \ * (SLIGHTLY USED)
+ )/ (8P (88 ) )
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%
.=.
"|||" JACK BAUER'S PRETTY TOUGH
_.===._ _
.-".' '."-. (_)
." ." ". ". FOR A CANADIAN _ | _
|+-+-------+-+| _(_)\ | /(_)_
+ |---+-------+---| + (_)---| |---(_)
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|:::| | | \|/ | | |:::| | |
| ... |_|...-=) + (=-...|_| ... | | |
\_._._._._| ||| | o . o . o . o . o | ||| |_._._._._/ | |
| _ _ | _ | _ _ _ _ _ | _ | _ _ | | |
._._._.| |.| |.| | |.| ||.| |.| |.| |.| |.|| |.| | |.| |.| |_._.| |.
_ | __ | _ |-------------------| _ | __ | _ | |
| | | | | | | | | :: .-"""-. :: | | | | | | | | || ||
|.| | |..| | |.| | | .-"-. | | |.| | |..| | |.|| ||
: | | .-. | | | | .-. | | ' | |
: : |_|_|_| |_|_|_| : : | |
_/=============\_ | |
%
_..._ ___ ___ ___ ___ _..._
,' `::. ,~ `:. ,~ `:. ,~ `:. ,~ `:. ,' `::.
: `::: `:: `:: `:: `:: `:::
: .::: .:: .:: .:: .:: .:::
: .:::`. .;' `. .;' `. .;'.`. .;': .:::
: .::: `.' .`.'.: `.' ::`.' :. .:::
:. .::' ::: : `: .:::
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: .::: ::: ::: .:::
`._ .::'.`._.::' `._.::'.`._ .::' Seal
~~~ :: :: ~~~
MORE LIKE CHATTERING *FAGGOTS* AM I RIGHT FOLKS

%
__..._ _...__
_..-" `Y` "-._
\ VINT CERF | ON WHY HE /
\\ HAS | A //
\\\ FUNNY | NAME ///
\\\ _..---.|.---.._ ///
jgs \\`_..---.Y.---.._`//
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%
_____
/ \
(____/\ )
|___ U?(____
_\L. | \ ___
/ /"""\ /.-' | |\ |
( / _/u | \___|_)_|
\| \\ / / \_(___ __) HEY FOLKS CHECK OUT MY
| \\ / / | | | BLOG POST WHICH IS ABOUT MY
| ) _/ / ) | | BLOG POSTING PRODUCTIVITY
_\__/.-' /___( | |
_/ __________/ \ | |
// / ( ) | |
( \__|___\ \______ /__|____|
\ (___\ |______)_/
\ |\ \ \ /
\ | \__ ) )___/
MR \ \ )/ /__(
___ | /_//___| \_________ PLEASE KILL ME
_/ ( / OUuuu \
`----'(____________)
%
.----------------------------------------------------------------------.
| _..---"""---.._ |
| _.-" "-._ |
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| """-----""" |
`----------------------------------------------------------------------'
IF YOU ARE MALE AND WEAR A PINKY RING THEN YOU ARE (CHECK ONE):
[ ] GAY
[ ] A PORN STAR
[X] A GAY PORN STAR
%
\
jgs .\
,=" \ I HAVE A KIND OF ITCHY RASH ON MY LEFT LEG
,="\ \
\ \ AND I'M PRETTY SURE THAT ISRAEL IS RESPONSIBLE
\ )
\ \
| \
\ \
`-. \
) \ OH THE HUMANITY ISRAEL HOW COULD YOU
(_ \
`-. \
`-`
%
()
()-'`-.
`| |\\ IF YOU USE THE WORD "IRREVERENT" TO DESCRIBE
' |__| \) YOUR WRITING/BLOGGING/TWEET/WEB SITE/DOGSHIT
. //\\__
(( `--( THEN YOU ARE A FUCKING RETARD AND BY ALL
. )\ RIGHTS IT IS LEGAL FOR ME TO FUCK YOUR FACE
,--._
` ,-'`- ;-. (IT'S RIGHT THERE IN THE BILL OF RIGHTS,
,: , `. CHECK IT OUT)
/. ` ,-' . \
( ; `. )
| ' , `. |
( / . ( )
\ ) `/
`. / ' ,'
`-:_ _,-'
shimrod `--'
%
/\ __
\ .-':::. I ONLY EAT ORGANIC FOOD
\ :::::|\
|,\:::'/ \ THAT IS: FOOD THAT CONTAINS CARBON COMPOUNDS
`.:::-' \
`-. \ ___
`-. | .-'';:::.
`-.-' / ',''.;;;\
| ','','.''|
|\ ' ,',' /'
`.`-.___.-;'
AsH `--._.-'
%
IT'S NO ACCIDENT THAT "THERAPIST"
CAN ALSO BE WRITTEN "THE RAPIST" !!!111
AM I RIGHT FOLKS ?!!?!?!?!?!
,-----. WAIT RIGHT YEAH I'M TOTALLY FULL OF SHIT NEVER MIND
`T(-)(-)
| ,--.| L _____ o88b8o
>-`""'\ H (_,-._) | "88P
__/ (")___`--(")_/(Q)\__(--. "|._________
(__) \____\ `---' | ' |'
| | | |
`--' /`----'\ Ojo98
%
__..-======-------..__
. ' ______ ___________`.
.' .--. '.-----.`. `.-----.-----`.
/ .' | || `.` \\ \ \\ _
.' / | || \\ \\_____\_____\\__________[_]
/ `-----' |'---------`\ .' \
/============|============\'-------------------.._____|
.-`---. |-==. |'.__________________ =====|-._
.' `. | | .--------. _` ====| _ .
/ __ \ | | .' `. [_] `.==| [_] \
[ .` `. | | | .' .---. \ \=| |
| | / .-. ' |_____\___________/_/ .'---. `. | | | |
`-'| | O |'..`------------------'.....'/ .-. \ | | ___.--'
LGB \ `-' / / `._.' | | O | |'___...----''___.--'
`._.'.' \ `-' / [___...----''_.'
`._.'.'
SO WHAT'S WRONG WITH MICKEY ROURKE'S FACE

(ARTIST'S LIKENESS DEPICTED ABOVE)
%
_.-"""-._ _.-"""-._ I'VE DISCOVERD A FIFTH FUNDAMENTAL INTERACTION:
/ (#\ \_/ (#\ \ MY BONER
: \#) |NNn. \#) :
\ /N(#\N\ / ALL POKIN' YOUR FACE AND SLAPPING YOUR CHIN
"-.___.-nNNN\#)N|_.-"
\NNNNNNNNN/ WAIT I MEAN THE GENERAL YOU NOT YOU SPECIFICALLY
"*NNNNN*"
Ojosh!ro " DON'T GET OFFENDED THAT'S JUST ITS LAGRANGIAN
%
-. . .-.
' / / ./
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~_-~ / < < \_ .-~7
_. \ > \.-'\ >` ~ .-~
< >< / , 7 < ~7
/_/ ! \ .-L \ _// <'~
~ .-~ ! ! /o& `' . 7 IF WE LEARNED ANYTHING FROM THE
_>_._ > _.-' '-._.-._.--./ SPANISH CIVIL WAR IT'S THAT SPAIN
'-~ ~._/ IS BORING, WE DON'T GIVE A SHIT,
,-.-' TURN TO THE NEXT FUCKING PAGE
< IN THE HISTORY BOOK ALEADY
\
7 .. .
! _.-. .. < ~v~
.-~---' .-.-~ ~\ < \ /
) > o < > \ \_.--._
/ X .-' <> \ \ 7 . '
7 > . - ' > _\ ! _,-' `. PWH
~--,.--' ._ /.- ~` < \ . \
7/ ~ \.,< . ` `-~-.-~
__ . `
%
,-------
/
--. / ,-"""-.
,-"""-. `. / ,'\dHHb/ `. I HAVE A SERIOUS CASE
,'\dHHb/ `. \ / <>--HHHH--< ) OF SERIOUSLYITIS
( >-HHHH--: > | | ()./"HHP \,' (A SERIOUS DISEASE)
`./"HHP\ ,' ,-' `-. () `-...-'.
()`-...-() F() ()J ()
:: .:
Krogg : .;__
,-"-"""---""" ""--..
/-\/ \/#| || || |`-'##`.
|" ,' `-'`-'`-'`. "_\
|_ | ,-.,-.,-. | _- /
`.-,-.,-.| ||_|| |,-./\,'
`-"""-._/"" "---"""-'
%
,"=-.
/ _),`'". I THINK IT'S UNFAIR THAT ONLY "MOTHERFUCKER"
( /a( ), ) GETS ROUTINELY ABBREVIATED AS "MOFO"
) C = = ?/
( )) (_ o-< MORE BAD WORDS NEED THIS KIND OF TREATMENT
) ( `-' \; ( \_
( | \ ) )| \_/} ,.
\ \ $_;/-|_) (\($
)/) `._,--/ / ,_ ; o >
/ `!__!! {`-. / (_)
( (_o)) `={\`-._____/` |
---`-._, )--- `-{ / -=`\ | MAY I SUGGEST "COSU"
------( / |---- `={ -= = _/ /
| ( | `\ .-' / FOR UM
:__/|\_; {`-,__.'===,_
\ |/ //` `\\ YOU FIGURE IT OUT
)(\_ jgs //
/_)--` `\=
gpyy \_!
%
_\|/_
/--\
|[]| WAIT, YOU'RE SAYING I CAN ACTUALLY *PAY* TO SEE A MOVIE
_] \/ [_ WHERE SEAN PENN ACTS LIKE A HOMO ?!?!?!?!?!?!?
/_ `==' _\
\\| |// WOW THIS IS REALLY A DREAM COME TRUE FOR ME
l\ __/j
`|-'##|
|#||#|
|#||#|
_|#||#|_
`==" "==`
as
%
,
/:\
>:< I'D SURE AS SHIT FUCK ME AN INDIAN
>:<
>:<
,,,,,\:/
#########
//////\\\\\
// /_\ /_\ \\
\( 0 _ 0 )/
/\\= _\ =//\
\\/\ --- /\//
//\ '---' /\\
\// \\/
/\\ //\ IF THEY STILL EXISTED
\\/ \//
# #
%
__________
|DAILY NEWS|
|&&& ======| CHECK OUT MY PACKAGE
|=== ======|
|=== == %%$|
|[_] ======|
|=== ===!##| AFTER THE JUMP
ejm97 |__________|
%
______
|\_______________ (_____\\______________
HH======#H###############H#######################
' ~""""""""""""""`##(_))#H\"""""Y########
)) \#H\ `"Y###
dew " }#H)
WHAT IF ARNOLD SCHWARZENEGGER NEVER SAVED

A YOUNG ALISSA MILANO IN COMMANDO ??!?!?!?!?!
HAVE YOU NEVER CONSIDERED THAT
WOULD IT AT LEAST HAVE RESCUED US FROM

THAT EMBARASSING SHITBALL OF SUCK CALLED CHARMED
%
.__ _..._
/,-./'.--. ``\.
/|/.--./`.o/ /`;\\
|||\ _ `-'_` o|/||
||\\`.`.__`Y8P_,\|| FUCK MARIJUANA, THAT SHIT'S FOR LOSERS
\\|| `"\"""/---'||
\\| ,-' `.||//
\(-'_ `. ALCOHOL IS THE ORIGINAL DRUG
,-' [_] .-. \
; `\| ||-'/ ` \
\ /`""-.`\ | ; | (STARTING FIGHTS, PROFESSING LOVE TO PEOPLE
`.-|\_/ | ; ' | I HARDLY KNOW, CRYING IN THE CORNER ALONE,
\-._ / | | / THROWING UP, PASSING OUT, WAKING UP UNDER
|`--'| : ;_\_ A CAR IN A USED CAR LOT WITH NO PANTS
/| |/ /\|, ) OR KEYS OR ID OR MONEY AND DAMN PROUD OF IT)
__..; `----' :`.`|/
/ / | |
; .' `\' ;
\/ : _ :
: / / :
: _.'`.__.' | fsc
\ _.' \ /
| | / `---.._
| `\ `.____ \
/ | `------'
\__|_,'
%
..:::::::..
//////\\\\\\\
|||||||||||||
|||||||||||||
|||||||||||||
HH ||||||||||||| HH
HH==================HH I'M PUTTING TOGETHER A WEEKLY PODCAST
HH==================HH ON WHY MY BUTTHOLE ITCHES SO MUCH LATELY
HH ############# HH
HH ############# HH
HH ########### HH
HH ######### HH
HH ####### HH
HH ##### HH
HH () HH
\\ () //
\\ () //
\\ () //
\\ (//
\\ //)(
____\/___()
,#################....
##################### ```
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
%
,(()). ,;;;;. __ ________ _____ ___
((_ _));'_`'_( _| __ __ __ _| _| _| __ __
() \ /)\ ) / (_|__ _|-_| _(_|(_|(_|__ _|--
((\ O(() \ O / _____(_|(_|_____________(_|_ SSt
THE NEW SEASON OF AMERICAN IDOL IS

PERFECTLY TIMED WITH MY TESTICLES DROPPING
%
HANDS UP WHO ACTUALLY UNDERSTANDS
WHAT THE WORD "UNPRECEDENTED" MEANS
WHAT ?!?!?! NO ONE AT ALL APPARENTLY ?!!??!?!?
WELL THEN STOP FUCKING USING IT DIPSHITS *POW*
. * x\ \ ___
. . \x \ __ / \_
x +.x* + ** (_ / / <\ /\ /\ /\ /\ /
*+ * *** (__\/ ) < / \ / \ /
+ / + *** (____) </ \/ \/ \/ \/ \
x * / // (____)___/
/ * *
/
%
,- _,-'""`-._
\ / ,'dHHb |/ `-.
_,-'|"`-. `- / / HHHH---<_____`.
,-' ""\ `. -'_ \ `HHP /\ ,'
,' \| dHHb \ '.`./ \ __ \,-'
`.""""\___HHHH / \ `-.__|,-' SHOULDN'T THERE BE SOME STATUTE
`-. / /HHP,' / \ OF LIMITATIONS ON BEING SICK
`-._/_,-' \/\/\|
I ALREADY DID TIME THIS SEASON
,-'"""-"""`-.
\""\""""""\"/
`--\ \\ \
\ \\ \ Krogg
`-.__.'
%
__
/ \--..____
\ \ \-----,,,..
\ \ \ \--,,..
\ \ \ \ ,'
\ \ \ \ ``..
\ \ \ \-''
\ \ \__,,--''' POLITICS + DICK JOKES = PRICK JOKES
\ \ \.
\ \ ,/
\ \__..-
\ \
\ \
\ \ :F_P:
\ \
\ \
\ \
\ \
\ \
\ \
%
,--.
\ _\_ MY BONER NEEDS A BAILOUT
_\/_|_\____.'\
-(___.--._____(
\ \
\ \
`--'
jg
%
.
.
/^\ .
/\ "V"
/__\ I O o
//..\\ I . MORE LIKE MY *BONER* NEEDS A BAILOUT
\].`[/ I
/l\/j\ (] . O AM I RIGHT FOLKS ?!?!?!?!?!?!?
/. ~~ ,\/I .
\\L__j^\/I o
\/--v} I o .
| | I _________
| | I c(` ')o
| l I \. ,/
_/j L l\_! _//^---^\\_ -Row
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
%
.
.
/^\ .
/\ "V"
/__\ I O o
//..\\ I . MORE LIKE MY *BONER* NEEDS A STIMULUS PACKAGE
\].`[/ I
/. ~~ ,\/I .
\\L__j^\/I o
\/--v} I o .
| | I _________
| | I c(` ')o
| l I \. ,/
_/j L l\_! _//^---^\\_ -Row
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
%
.
.
/^\ .
/\ "V"
/__\ I O o
//..\\ I . MORE LIKE MY *BONER* NEEDS A TAX CUT
\].`[/ I
/. ~~ ,\/I .
\\L__j^\/I o WAIT I DON'T MUCH LIKE THE SOUND OF THAT
\/--v} I o .
| | I _________ (THUS CONCLUDES THE BONER TRILOGY)
| | I c(` ')o
| l I \. ,/
_/j L l\_! _//^---^\\_ -Row
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
%
()
-==o
\ I WENT TO TED AND ALL I GOT
(V) WAS THIS LOUSY MALARIA INFECTION
-==Q
"'\
(V) (THANKS BILL GATES)

-==Q
\
%
( (
) ))) COULD ROBERT KENNEDY, JR. GET A REAL
((((( FUCKING VOICE OR WHAT THE FUCK OVER
( ))))))
)((((((
((,````))
:(.)(.): \\\\
( _\ )|||||
c \ |
ejm `._.' ) /
/\ /
/ \
/
* ( + *. . )
) .===, ( *
. ( \|/ (_,/\ \ \|/ .
+ .-"-|( (è.e( ) )| + ( I THINK IT WOULD BE TOTALLY AWESOME
/ \ \) \= ) (/ / ) + TO HAVE A DISEASE NAMED AFTER YOU
. |# \ '--' '--' / \ ( )
\___/ '-(.) (.)-' | ( '
* /^ \ / \__/
( * '/ . \ * ^\ * '
. \ ,/\___/\, ' \ +
) | \_/ | ) .
* . @%@%@%@%@%@%@ ( )
( { } \ ( *
) * { } ) (
( @%@%@%@%@%@%@%@%@ ) '
+ { } * (
{ } . )
jgs { } (
* @%@%@%@%@%@%@%@%@%@ +
(50 YEARS LATER ON MY DEATHBED)

_ _.--. __ _
| | ) \ `.,' \| |
| | (`' | : |
| | _..-.-.-.-._ ) ,),'. | |
| |('. __..-' ) ) ) ) ) )``-' _.-| \ | |
| | \ `...------''``--'''' \ )_____....--- ,'' ; |
| |_(_..-......_________..._,-'_,..__....____..-'.._________..'| |
| |____________________________________________________________| |
__|_|_________________________________________________________SSt|_|__
I TAKE THAT BACK

%
,-----------------.
| |
| : |
| : | COULD SOMEONE
| : : | JUST FUCKING
| ,-----. : | STICK A DICK
| %%%%%%% : | IN WILL.I.AM
| ####### : : | ALREADY PLEASE
| %%%%%%% ) |
| | | ( ( ( |
| | | ) . ) |
| |& | ( ( : : |
| (&$ `-. ) |
| `. $&& `. : |
| __`. * `. : |
| / ""`-. ** \ |
| \_______`-.___) |
`-----------------'
Krogg
%
_
_ ,-. / )
( `. // /-._/ / I WON'T STAND FOR A LEFT-HANDED PRESIDENT
`\ \ /(_/ / / /
; `-` (_/ / /
| (_/ /
\ /
) /` I THINK I'LL ORGANIZE A PROTEST
jgs / /` BECAUSE THAT ALWAYS FIXES THINGS
%
NO TAXATION WITHOUT
__ _.._
.-'__`-._.'.--.'.__.,
/--' '-._.' '-._./
/__.--._.--._.'``-.__/ jgs
'._.-'-._.-._.-''-..'
BACON
%
,==.
\\// DEAR WOMEN,
.-~~-.
,",-""-.". WEAR ZERO OR ONE RINGS, NOT 62
| | | |
| | .-"| |. THAT WAY I CAN TELL WHAT THE FUCK IS
". `,",-" ,'.". UP AND NOT WASTE TIME TALKING TO YOU
`| |_,-' | |
| | | |
". `-._,-' ."
hjw `-.___,-'
%
+-----------------------------+
| |
| THIS HOUSE HAS GONE 923 |
| DAYS WITHOUT SOMEONE |
| SHITTING THEMSELVES |
| |
+-----------------------------+
:
'. _ .'
-= (~) =-
.' # '.
/"""""
| (')')
C _)
\ _|
\__/
<___Y>
/ \ :\\
/ | :|\
|___| :|/\
| | :|\ \
\ \ :| \ \_
\ \==L| \\\
///` ||
| ||
| ||
| ||
| ||
| ||
| ||
[___]]
jgs (____))
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
+-----------------------------+
| |
| THIS HOUSE HAS GONE xxx 0 |
| DAYS WITHOUT SOMEONE |
| SHITTING THEMSELVES |
| |
+-----------------------------+
%
,.--""-._
__/ `. UH OH LOOKS LIKE THE PAJAMAS MEDIA
_,**" "*-. `. ADVERTISING NETWORK FINALLY DRIED UP
,' `. \
; _,.---._ \ ,'\ \
: ,' ,-.. `. \' \ : I AM OUTRAGED BECAUSE I THOUGHT I
| ;_\ (___)` `-..__ : | WAS GUARANTEED FREE MONEY FOREVER
;-'`*'" `*' `--._ ` | ; WITH NO EFFORT ON MY PART
/,-'/ -. `---.` |"
/_,'`--='. `-.._,-" _
(/\\,--. \ ___-.`: //___
/\'''\ ' | |-`| ( -__,'
'. `--' ; ; ; ;/_/
`. `.__,/ /_,' /`.~;
_.-._|_/_,'.____/ / NOW I HAVE TO GET A REAL JOB LIKE
..--" / =/ \= \ / ALL THE OTHER QUEER COCKSUCKERS
/ ;._.\_.-`--'-._/ ____/
\ / /._/|.\ ."
`*--'._ "-.: :
:/".A` \ |
| |. `. :
; |. `. \SSt
%
MARS NEEDS WOMAN
,%/7\\`
(/// .\\)
(((( - )))
((|)_*_/(((
))(/) ($(|)
((((\___/))(\
/ ,-) (-. \
( ( ( _ _ ) ) )
\ \ )^ ^ ^( / /
) y y (
\( )/
\_______/
\ / /
y /
( '
\ \
\ y-._
hjw |\,' X-'
_,T-) /
(__,-%_/
(LOOKS AT OFFERING)
OKAY NOT THAT BADLY GOODBYE
(CLOSES SAUCER DOOR, TAKES OFF)
%
________
/________\
//( ( ( ( \\
|| <o> <o>((||
||) ) ` ) )|| I'M A WICCAN
|| (\___( ( ||
\|) ) $_|/
/ ((\_v_/ \
/ /) x \ \
| | x | |
| \ x / |
| | x | |
| |\ x /| |
| |/\ x /\| |
| | \x/ | |
| | V | |
/____\ /____\
| | | |
/ \ / \ SORRY JUST KIDDING
| | | | I'M JUST A USELESS BITCH
`~~| |~~'
|\ /|
| \ / |
|___V___|
| / \ |
| / \ |
|/ \|
/ \
/ \
______/ \_______
============================
Alyssa
%
,--------------------------------------------------------------------------.
| OV"|OOOOOOOO> U N I T E D S T A T E S OF A M E R I C A <OOOOOOOV"|OO |
| OO |OOOOOOOOOOOOmmmmOOOOOOmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmOOOOOOOmmmmOOOOOOOOOOOOO |OO |
| OO_|OO@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@OO_|OO |
| OOOOO@6@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@'" "`@@@@@@@@@@F@81497973A@@OOOOOO |
| OO@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@` ,,:@@@@@@*. `@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@OO |
| OOO@@@@@' _`@@@@@@@@@@@@@` W@@@@@@@@@@@; `@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@6@@@@@@OOO |
| OOO@@@@' |_ `@@@@@@@@@@@' (@@@@@;--;;--@' `@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@OOO |
| OOO@@@@. | .@@@@@@@@@@@ (@@@@ @ \@ ;@ @@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@OOO |
| OOO@@@@@, ,@@@@@@@@@@@@ (@@@@ _\ }@ @@@@@@@@'==`@@@@@@@@@@OOO |
| OOO@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@. \_@;;; __ ;; .@@@@@@@@./\,@@@@@@@@@@OOO |
| OO@@@@@F@81497973A@@@@@@@. ,;;\_ .__/;, .@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@OO |
| OOOOOO@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@. ,;;;\ , /;;;; .@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@OOOOOO |
| OV"|OO@@@6@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@. Washington .@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@6@@@OV"IOO |
| OO |OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO IOO |
| OO_|OOOOOOOOOOOOOO> O N E D O L L A R <OOOOOOOOOOOOOO_IOO |
`--------------------------------------------------------------------------'
-Phoenix-
MORE LIKE SUCKAGAWEA AM I RIGHT FOLKS
%
___()___
_.-'' ,-'`-. ``-._
,-' ,' `. `-. UNDER MY UMBRELLA /
,' ,' `. `. ELLA /
/ / \ \ ELLA /
/_ / \ _\ ELSLLFI SDHFKLSDH
``-./_..---'''|``---.._\,-''
| SLK SKLGH SFHIO WHIO SDFHSKL
| SKL SLKF SKLDF OOF KLKLSKL KL
|
| SDFLS KLS WRIO AKFLH KDFH K
| JSFKLSK URF LFHSDKLSLHKHL HLSK
|
| FLKSHSHLFS GLK GLHSLHSLH
, |
`..' SSt OW YOU'RE HITTING ME
%
.. .,;
` ;,.;`
;'` ; ,.; 0
.;'` . . / WHY NOT 3G1C OR EVEN 4G1C
`,.;'. /
/
|`'-.......-'`| ___
| |/__ \
| |/ \ \
| | | | OR PERHAPS 2G2C (THEY WON'T SHARE)
| | | |
| |\__/ /
| |\___/
,--| |--.
,-' ,| |. `-.
( ( \ / ) )
`-. `---------------' ,-'
`-._______________,-' leb
%
/()))
//( oo
(/|| _ \__
/||||/ '._-' DOES THERE MIGHT BE GIANTS' CHILDREN'S
/ \ |\ ALBUM REALLY CHANGE ANYTHING
/ \ \ \_____
| \ \.___ /==,
| ='.___/=.
| )
'.______ |
(______( | || WASN'T THEIR MUSIC ALWAYS FOR CHILDREN
snd |_|| _/ | |_\
'---'--'
%
,,, _,_ _@_ _(_ _?_ >*<
_/. .\_ _/- -\_ _/, ,\_ _/' '\_ _/a a\_ _/. .\_
(.\_o_/.) (.\_-_/.) (,\_e_/') (.\_^_/.) (.\_~_/') (.\_c_/.)
(.`,.`'.') (.`,.'.'.) (.`'.,'.') ('.,'.`'.) (.'.,'.`.) (.,'.,'',)
('.`,'`,) ('.`,'',) ('.','.`) ('.,'.',) ('.,'.`.) (',.'`.,)
('.`,'`) ('.','`) (.'.,'.) ('.`.,') ('.','') (.'.'.')
jgs `--'"` `--'"` `--'"` `--'"' `--'"' `--'"'
I HAD DODECAHEDRUPLETS
WHY WON'T ANYONE PAY ATTENTION TO ME
%
clap
clap
Clap clap
clap
clap clap clap Clap
clap
clap clap clap
, clap
clap clap Clap clap
clap . \ `
Clap \ ( (\ ) /
` ` / _\ ,
$")
___ .- )=| I AM BECOME DEATH, THE DESTROYER OF
(` ') ' _ /'| BACON DOUBLE WESTERN CHEESEBURGERS
|-n___n ' (/\|
a:f____________|_L___J__ < L _______________________
%
.---.
/ /"\ \
)/a a\(
( ( - ) ) NO TINA FEY I DON'T KNOW HOW THE JIZZ
)_) (_( GOT ALL OVER YOUR GLASSES
.'\ /'.
/,(_\ /_),\
\\ \ ^ / //
\\/ \//
(/-._.-$
| T |
| | | WHY ARE YOU ASKING ME ANYWAY
\ | /
\ | /
jgs )|(
/ | \
%
___ _______________________
|===|=======================|
|||||_|_|_|_|_|_|_|_|_|_|_|_|
[___[_________________________] THE UNIX TIME STAMP 1234567890
|---|-------|--_-_--|-------| REACHED ON 2009 FEBRUARY 13 IS
|[ ]| [:.:] |,'`. `.| [:.:] | IMPORTANT TO ME BECAUSE I HAVE
====|======== ||:|======== ASPERGER'S SYNDROME
||^|| {$} | ||:| {$} |
||:|| (:..) | ||:| (:.:) |
||:||=======| ||:|=======|
||:||_______| ||:|_______|
jrei
%
\\\ ,
\ `|
) ( .-""-.
| | /_ { '.
| | (/ `\ } ) Q: WHAT DOES IT MEAN WHEN A PORN
| | ^/ ^`} { STAR HAS PRECISELY THE SAME
\ \ \= ( { ) BIRTHDAY (DATE AND YEAR) AS I DO?
\ \ '-, { {{
\ \_.' ) } )
\.-' ( ( A: IT MEANS SHE'S A FAT OLD PIECE
/'-.'_. ) ( } OF SHIT TOO, DUH
\_( { _/\
) '--' `-;\ \ WHAT A STUPID QUESTION
_.-' / / /
<\/>_.' .' / /
<\/></\>/. ' /<\// /
</\> _ |\`- _ . -/|<// (
<\/> - _- ` _.-'`_/- | \
</\> - - - - \\\
}`<\/> <\/>`{
{ </\>-<\/>_<\/>_<\/>-</\> }
} </\> </\> </\> {
<\/>. <\/>
</\> </\>
{`<\/> <\/>`}
} </\>-<\/>_<\/>_<\/>_<\/>-</\> {
{ </\> </\> </\> </\> }
} }
{ H A P P Y {
<\/> B I R T H D A Y <\/>
</\> </\>
`<\/> <\/>'
jgs </\>-<\/>_<\/>_<\/>_<\/>_<\/>-</\>
</\> </\> </\> </\> </\>
%
____
___.--' `-/)
___ __.-----' __.---._//
< `----' _____,---' ___ //
\--.____.--' ___,--' y/
\_ __.-----' __,--//
>`----' _____,---' _// HELLO
.'-.____,--',,,,, ___,--n//_
.'.__ __/ \' ___,/(_/ DOCTOR
< `----' \ C '\-' .'//
`----.____.---) _| .' // NAME
.'=. (--'/|//
| \)`-\.' __/ CONTINUE
\ \ ,' ///
;. ' /// YESTERDAY
| `._,'//
\ // TOMORROW
)===//]
/ |_// |
\_ (/ |
\ |\
\ __ | \
|[__]| \
||__|/ /
\ | /
| |/
/| |
/\| |
/`.|____|
`=.\____/
hjw ) '`--.
`='===='
%
_
(` ) _
( (` ) _
_( _( . ) (` ) TYPING IN DVORAK COMPLETES
.-`` _( ) '`. ) MY TRANSLATION
( .=( (_.:'-' ( _'
`( ( (. -'_,-'
.`(_ (. `-.' _,(-)
( . (_ __.: '-' `-(` \_(
`( ` ) _,(-) //">^\
mic `(__.:' `-(` \_( TO HOMO
`(__.:' //"\^>
%
.
,-; . ,
________i_,',//
_odHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHbo_
dP^' ;.| ||,; `^?b
|H ))`'||/'; H|
?bo. .=;' |||.' ,odP
`?oo.-',' ||'oodP'
/' / / |/
| | _-' || LET'S HAVE A DUNK CONTEST BECAUSE
|| | ,' J| WE'RE FUCKING FAGGOTS
| \ | | / | AND THIS SPORT SUCKS
|_\ L L .-' |
bodom \.)`-.;-;__./
"-._;_.-"
%
_*_ O
\_/_ ! I PRONOUNCE "WWW" AS "DUB DUB DUB"
(( } ! IN THE HOPES THAT SOMEDAY MY MOTHER
)))__.-` WILL LEARN TO LOVE ME
(((--' !
\ ' ! .)
)|___!.-'(
/ \ ` O __)
/ ' \ ` '( \
/ ' \ `)` \
/ ' ( (_`_
/ _!____.'
/_.-'
/,
ejm '-._
%
/ (%)
\O_
\| O_\ TODAY IS THE FIRST DAY OF THE END OF YOUR LIFE
/\/ _/\
ejm \ /\
| \
%
/;
/ |'-,.
/ ' `"---,.__
/ ' ,' , '"--,"|
/ ' , ,' ,"::| THIS LINEAR ALGEBRA BOOK WON'T
/ ' ,' , ,"::::| FIT UP MY ASS
/ ' , ,' ,"::::::L
/ ' ,' ,' ,"::::::::L BUT THIS MATHEMATICA BOOK
/ ' , , ,":::::::::J WILL
k-,._ ,' _.":::::::::::J
\. `"----'"".J::::::::::::| SO GUESS WHICH ONE I LIKE MORE
\. .-, .L:::::::::::|
\. ( .J:::::::::::!
\. `-- .L:::::::::/
\. .-. .|::::::::/
\. ( ) .J:::::::/
\. `-' .L:::::/
\. L .|::::/
\. !__ .J:::/ WRONG
\. __ .L:/
\. L_) .|/ BECAUSE I ALWAYS LIKE A CHALLENGE
kth `-,__,-'
%
|
_, iO_|
/_ \_| / I'M POST-RACIAL, POST-PARTISAN, AND ALSO
) '-, POST-GIVING-A-FUCKING-SHIT
| ._.-: (`;
\| //
_.-'```"""``"-._
/"` '.
`':.,_ "._
\`'-._ `'-._
\ `:._ `'-._ _
| \ `:_ `"--"--"``
| \ `:_
| :| \ '.
| | | `:_
| |: | `:_
|: | |
| |
|
cjr |
%
( . )
) ( )
. ' . ' . ' .
( , ) (. ) ( ', )
.' ) ( . ) , ( , ) ( .
). , ( . ( ) ( , ') .' ( , )
(_,) . ), ) _) _,') (, ) '. ) ,. (' )
jgs^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
EVERY TIME SOME DIPSHIT ENVIRONMENTALIST SAYS "GREEN"

IT JUST MAKES ME WANT TO WASTE MORE STUFF AND DESTROY
MORE THINGS !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!111 SO KEEP IT UP FUCKOS
%
&(`)&& & &&
&& &\/&\|& (`)|/ && &&
&\/(/&/&||/& /_/&_&/_&
&(`)&\/&|(`)/& \/ &&& & (`)
&_\_&&_\ |& |&&&/&__&_/_&_&&-
&&&& &| &| /&-& (`)& \&&
,~, &&&_---&--\&&|& ,~, (`)
))) && |||} )))
((((, Y {||{ .-``-.
\) \_(`) {}_}|||}_(/\ /|
(( \ ||} | (/ I'M LEAVING DEVIANTART
|/` \ , -=-~'{`.-= / )) FOR GOOD THIS TIME, GUYS
(| (/ `} / \|
ejm98 -_ -_ { \) |)
-- _-
%
/\_ _ __
__ _ \( ! )/_/ __
\_\( % )>o<})# )/_/ PNEUMONIA IS A COOL WORD BECAUSE
_(%>o<(_!_)>o<#)_ YOU DON'T PRONOUNCE THE P
/_/(_% ( | (_#_)/_/
( ! (~>O<~) % ) _
_({>O<}(_|_)%>O<%)_>
/_/(_!_)# )( (_%_)
_(#>o<#)>o< )_ UNLIKE PTERODACTYL OR PENIS
/_/(_#_)(_|_)\_\
\/ hjw
%
_*_ O
\_/_ !
(( } ! I THINK THE ONLY WAY I CAN EVOLVE AS
)))__.-` A BLOGGER IS TO START A VLOG SHOW
(((--' !
\ ' ! .)
)|___!.-'(
/ \ ` O __)
/ ' \ ` '( \
/ ' \ `)` \
/ ' ( (_`_
/ _!____.'
/_.-'
/,
ejm '-._
%
___ _
|__ \ | LOOK I'VE INVENTED A NEW GLYPH:
/ / |
|_||_|
(_)(_) THE INTERROWANG
%
o o o
o o /
\ | / o _____ GOD WHY HAST THOU FORSAKEN ME
o | / __ /~~~\/`____
`\ /,-~ `~-_|/_ \`
-------------< ~ ` ;
/ \ `~-___,-/``\ / OH SNAP RIGHT
/ | \ n / /
o` | o /`~~` / I FORGOT ABOUT THAT INCIDENT
o /` /
o /` \ \
/` /`\`\
/ / `\`\ FAIR ENOUGH, CARRY ON DUDE
| / `\`\ /
UvB / ~~`
%
_-|-_
/|||||\ JUST A LITTLE WORD OF WARNING
|||||||||
|||||||||
\|||||/ IF YOU SHAVE YOUR CROTCH AND BALLS SO
\|||/ THAT YOU CAN SEE THINGS CLEARER DOWN THERE
ejm97 [___]
/|||\
//|||\\ ONCE SEEN IT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU CAN UNSEE
///|||\\\
((( ))) )))
%
,_ _ _,
\o-o/
,(.-.),
_/ |) (| \_ I RESERVE THE RIGHT TO NOT GIVE A SHIT
/\=-=/\
,| \=/ |,
_/ \ | / \_
jgs \_!_/
%
I'M NOT ALLOWED TO RAPE PEOPLE ANYMORE
I ABUSED MY PRIVILEGES AND GOT THEM TAKEN AWAY
)\ _
.--._ ,' `\_.-~~/'
`\ \'_ __ ( _ _
`\ (_) |__|/~ ~~=~\
)_____.---~~ \>\~-./'
/' //=== /==(
( /' __\ ( __\)
( /~\( o |_o_(
(( ( _____)
\\_/ , )
\ `\ ~-.._ /
._)/ \ /
`/ \ ./
Ts97 / `~/~'
/ /
'~~-.__./
%
CAN SOMEBODY TELL ME WHY MY FEET ARE SO FUCKING HUGE
AND HAND ME MY INHALER FOR CRYING OUT LOUD
I CAN REALLY SEE HOW FAR YOUR FAT FUCKING STOMACH STICKS
OUT FROM DOWN HERE
LOSE SOME WEIGHT OR I'M PUTTING YOU DOWN LIKE LIVESTOCK

QUIT BLUBBERING YOU WHIMPERING COW AND HELP ME UP
___ ___
// \ // \
// ) // )
|| _/ || _/ __
|| \\_,&__ || \\ ( \
)| ^ / ``---,_\_/ & _> )
\|___,__\__ `\_ \_ ( /
\__,-, `\__\_ >_/
\_ / `\_ / /
\_ / \__ _/ /
`\ `\_,/ /
_ \__,-, ` (_ /
__( \ ,)__ _/ \/
/ `-,___,-' \_( O `\
\ /_|___ ____/ \ \ =}
`---' `-' \_=_/{}
.{}{}{}{.
mic {}{}{}{}{
}{}{}{}{}
`}{}{}{}'
`}{}{}'
%
_____
_.--~_..__ ~~-._
:..____~ ~~--.._
~~-.. ~ ._ ~~----__________
`-._ `. __ ~~~~~~-----...__
~~\. ~-. .------.. ~~~---__
`. . .- ~~-----_________ ,' ~== __ ~~--__
\ \=_ | ___ ~ - ~-.
\. ) ~--__ | `._ ;:~~:---__ `.
`._ \ \~-.-------~~ \ \ ~~~~~_::. ) ~~--__ |`.
| | ,=:__) \ \ `----' `-. / |
| | __...=-. ) ;' |
,-=~~_,' '~~.==----' _Seal_ _,-' /
~~~ _______.......----~~~ _,'
--~~""""---......._________...--'
VALERIE BURTINELLI IS NO MACKENZIE PHILLIPS

%
( ,&&&.
) .,.&&
( ( \=__/ I JUST WANT TO SAVOR OUR VICTORY
) ,'-'. OVER THE BATTLE OF MY BULGE
( ( ,, _.__|/ /|
) /\ -((------((_|___/ |
( // | (`' (( `'--|
_ -.;_/ \\--._ \\ \-._/.
(_;-// | \ \-'.\ <_,\_\`--'|
( `.__ _ ___,') <_,-'__,' WHAT DO YOU MEAN THAT'S THE WRONG
jrei `'(_ )_)(_)_)' NAME I WAS THERE YOU HIPPIE PACIFIST
%
OKAY SERIOUSLY NOW, CAN WE SHUT THE FUCK UP ABOUT RIHANNA ALREADY?
__________ __,___/ ",",
___.--" "\'. ____/ l \ ",'-,
------f" // \\\ \ (l\ \ \ \ \",
| ||| / u | \ \ \
| ||| _ ) / | | \
----L_-XXX-. .|' / U < | | |
"\ -<_____/// \ 6 ) | | |
\___) -" '. -.<" / / |
|'.___ | _._." /
| ./ _."." _."
/ |"----" _."
jjs \
%
_____________ __________
/\ \_____ _ (\ -=- \ I'M COUNTER-PROTESTING THIS PROTEST
|; _____|_| `\ --=-= \ OF ALL THESE PROTESTINGS AND SUCH
\/____________/ \ -==--=- \
__ ) -==-==- )
jgs \/ ( =-==-= ( ACTUALLY I'M NOT SURE
\ -=- \ I THINK WE'RE PROTESTING PROTISTS
/_) -=- )
`""""""""""`
%
_____
--| }>/~o)
C,- -\( \_<_, DEAR RETARDS,
) `-/~-/ ) '
[ /\____/\ | GET OVER IT
)| }{
|| |< YOU'RE LUCKY YOU EVEN GET A SPECIAL OLYMPICS
~~ ~~kg
%
,--.
([ oo] COULD
`- ^\ DIANE REHM
_ I`-' TALK MORE
,o(`-V' SLOWLY
|( `-H-' AND
|(`--A-' AWKWARDLY
|(`-/_\'\ PLZ
O `'I ``\\
(\ I |\,
\\-T-"`, |H Ojo
%
,==.
\\// WHO CAN I BILL FOR THE HALF AN HOUR OF MY LIFE
.-~~-. WASTED HITTING ON THE MARRIED WOMAN
,",-""-.".
| | | |
| | .-"| |. IT'S A BIT HARD TO TELL THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN
". `,",-" ,'.". "I'M BEING NICE BECAUSE I'M CONTENT DESPITE HUSBAND" VS.
`| |_,-' | | "I'M BEING NICE BECAUSE I'M ACTUALLY TRYING TO BE NICE"
| | | |
". `-._,-' ."
hjw `-.___,-' NEXT TIME I'M TRYING A FULL BIOPSY AFTER "HELLO"
%
/
/ SCROLL DOWN FOR BATTLESTAR GALACTICA
/ SEASON 4 FINALE SPOILERS !!!!!!!!
/
/
/;
/; .
//
// .
;/
,// .
_,-' ;_,,
_,'-_ ;|,' .
_,-'_,..--. |
___ .'-'_)' ) _)\| ___ .
,'"""`'' _ ) ) _) ''--'''_,-'
-={-o- /| ) _) ) ; '_,--'' .
\ -' ,`. ) .) _)_,''|
`."( `------'' / .
`.\ _,'
`-.____....-\\ .
|| \\
// ||
// ||
// || YOU'RE FUCKING RETARDED FOR HAVING WATCHED
_-.//_, _||_, THIS AND EXPECTING IT NOT TO FUCKING SUCK
jrei ,' ,-'/
%
_.---**""**-.
._ .-' /|`.
\`.' / | `.
V ( ; \ I AM USING MY NEWFOUND BANDWIDTH
L _.- -. `' \ FOR GOOD AND NOT EVIL
/ `-. _.' \ ;
: __ ; _ |
:`-.___.+-*"': ` ; .' `. |
|`-/ `--*' / / /`.\| OR IS IT THE OTHER WAY AROUND
: : \ :`.| ;
| | . ;/ .' ' /
: : / ` :__.'
\`._.-' / |
: ) : ;
:----.._ | /
: .-. `. / OH WELL, WHATEVER
\ `._ /
/`- / IT'S ONE OF THE TWO
: .'
\ ) .-'
`-----*"' [bug]
%
___ .-""-. ___ WHAT'S MY DEEPEST, DARKEST SECRET ?????
\ "-. / \ .-" /
> -=.\/ \/.=- < THAT MY WIENER TASTES LIKE CANDY
> -='/\ /\'=- <
/__.-' \ / '-.__\ THAT MIGHT SEEM LIKE A GOOD THING BUT
jgs '-..-' ACTUALLY IT TASTES LIKE JAPANESE CANDY
THAT'S MY CROSS TO BEAR I GUESS

%
_------_
-~ ~-
- _ -
- |> - BE SURE TO TURN YOUR LIGHTS OFF
- |< - FOR A WHOLE HOUR TONIGHT
- |> -
- || -
- || -
-__||__-
|______| AND DON'T FORGET TO CUT YOUR
<______> OWN HEAD OFF WHILE YOU'RE AT IT
<______>
\/
%
______
[===| |====]
| ||
| || I DON'T SEE WHY PEOPLE ARE MAKING SUCH A BIG DEAL
ejm97 |=====|| ABOUT THE SHAMWOW GUY'S RUN-IN WITH A HOOKER
|=====||
'"""""'| I MEAN A HOOKER TRIES TO BITE OFF MY TONGUE
| | LITERALLY EVERY THIRD WEDNESDAY SO WHAT'S THE BIG DEAL
'"""""'
%
|||||||||||/
: :(
: : \
: : : -- .`-. I'M A JOURNALIST
: / . .-.
: : Y \ SO BEAT ME WITH A STICK
: | (@) (@) UNTIL CANDY COMES OUT
} : \ .' .'
: \ ` - '/ -7
|( . / |
|\ / |
| J / |
| /| |
| | | |
| | \ |
| \ `.___|
| `.
| `----.
| | BECAUSE LORD KNOWS
| .---' THAT'S ALL I'M GOOD FOR
| /
VK | |
%
_
/
\ /
\ ____/
_ \_ ____/
\____ \ __/ _
`---.___ / ____/
\____ __/
\___.-- ______------'
-.__________ __________.--------'
`--------- a88a | a88a ----'
|
|
__________________ ____________---------------
`------- .aa.
8888b
____ Y988P ______
_______.---' `-----_____
_____/ \_ \______
_/ \ \ `--
/ | \__
/ | \_
/ | \
__/ | \_
/ | \
_/ a:f
IF THERE'S AN EGO, A SUPEREGO, AND AN ID

WHY CAN'T THERE BE ONE MORE FOR SYMMETRY
YES
THAT'S RIGHT BITCHES
I'M THE SUPERID

%
.-~-.
.' '. CATS + HARD BOILED EGGS = COMEDY
/ \
.-~-. : ;
.' '.| |
/ \ :
: ; .-~""~-,/
| /` `'.
: | \
\ | /
`. .' \ .'
jgs `~~~` '-.____.-'
%
_______________
()==( (@==() IT IS MY DEEP AND UNALIENABLE RIGHT TO
'______________'| BE OFFENDED AT ABSOLUTELY ANYTHING
| | AND EVERYTHING AND TELL YOU ABOUT IT
| | UNTIL YOUR EARS BLEED
__)_____________|
()==( (@==() I'M PRETTY SURE IT'S IN ONE OF THOSE
PjP '--------------' THERE AMENDMENTS
PROBABLY NOT THE SECOND ONE THOUGH

%
(((\\\\\
)_ \\\|
/ \\|\/ WILLIAM SHAKESPEARE SURE COULDN'T
\$ ), & WRITE CLEARLY AND CONCISELY
$ ( ((
|` \\ ))) _
| \` __| `
| , \ ` , \
| \ ,\ , \
' \/ \_ \/ \
`_,`-._ ` \
ejm / `-. _ \ `
/ ,`. \
=== / '== =`. | ====
/ | === ` / /=========
/ | / ,
/______| / , ========
__-' | = === / ,=======
' - -- (
\ \
\ `
\ `
\ `
\_____ \
/ `
_/ /
'-- '
%
_._ _._
.'--.`. .'--.`. PRETTY SURE THESE ECONOMIC CHARTS AND GRAPHS
AsH | .' | | .' | WILL BE MORE CONVINCING IF WE INCLUDE SOME
`--`' `--`' STATISTICAL MEASURES OF "BALLS PER CAPITA"
%
/^\/^\
\----|
_---'---~~~~-_ A QUICK QUIZ (CHECK EXACTLY ONE):
~~~|~~L~|~~~~
(/_ /~~--
\~ \ / /~ ANDY KAUFMAN
__~\ ~ / ~~----,
\ | | / \ [ ] WAS FUNNY
/| |/ | |
| | | o o /~ | [X] DESERVED A LONG, SLOW DEATH BY
_-~_ | || \ / MY HANDS FOR SUCKING SO BADLY
(// )) | o o \\---'
//_- | | \
// |____|\______\__\
~ | / | |
|_ / \ _|
W< /~___| /____\
%
,__,
_.-----/6 6)
,-' / .='=. I SHOT KENNEDY
/ _./ /_-._,..
_.-| \.'|,:=._::,,_.
.'_.-'\ |//..=
,'.' / /_:.'.
:: `,.,' :
:: /// ::
:: ,/// ::
:: `. / ::
`:`-./ / _.-'.'
`-._`---'_.-'
,/ /:---'
`. //
::/ // l42
/ |||
%
.-""""-.
/` (_)`\
| .-""-. | A PLETHORA OF PRICKS,
; /#.--. \ ; A DEARTH OF DICKS
\ \/ \/ /
| =\\= |
| |
| ++++ |
\ /
'-. .-'
||
||
||
||
||
jgs || A NOVEL BY NORMAN MAILER
||
%
:
;;
/ |
/ |
.' :
.-' '
_.-' /
.-*" / _
.-' .' _.-*?'
.' .' .-" .' __
.' , .-' .-+. .' _.-*".'
/ \ .-' _.--**""**-. .-' _.y-:-" .'
: `+. .*""*. `. :-. -. \ .'
; .--*""*--. / __ ` _.--. \ |$| -.` -.;/ _.-+.
: .' :*" "*..*" y`-' $| ;*" _(
\ / +----/ / .'.-'---+ .-._.+' `. -'_.--. :- "_(
`*-: | \/\/\/ | /) ` .'___ ' "_(
; `._| | \ )` .'.' `./_" (
: \| FIGHT FOR | (`._..--**" : .- ; `"'
\ | FLUORIDATION | `----**"T"" " `+. |
`. | | ' .' :
_.-*"*- | WRITE YOUR | / / '
.-*" _ | CONGRESSMAN | __..-'\ / bug
"+,'___..--| |--**"" `-.__.'
"" +----------------+
%
,
/.\ I'M SERIOUSLY FIRED UP AND ANGRY ABOUT "DARWINISM"
//_`\
_.-`| \ ``._
.-''`-. _.'`. EVEN THOUGH I DON'T REALLY KNOW WHAT IT
.' / /'\/`.\ `. MEANS OR EVEN THE FACT THAT
/ . |/ `. \ IT'S CLEARLY A MADE-UP WORD
' / \ ;
: ' \ : :
; ; ; / .
' : . ' /
\ \ / .'
LGB `.` .' .' BUT I'M STILL PRETTY FIRED UP DUHHHHHHH
`-..___....----`
%
.------. .------.
.' //`. .' `. QUICK RECAP:
/ // \ / \
| // : | ......::::: MY BALLS GLOW A DULL RED
: // | :::::'''''' |
\ // / \ / (FROM THE HEAT OF THEIR FORMATION)
`._// _.' `._ _.'
AsH `"----"' `"----"'
%
______
/( )\
\ \ / / MY DEEPEST SEXUAL FANTASY ?!?!?!?!?!
\/[]\/
/\
| |
| |
| |
| |
| |
ejm \ / DYING ALONE
\/
%
. ,
* , I'LL HAVE SOME PARKINSON'S PLEASE
` *~.|,~* '
' ,~*~~* ` _
,* / \`* ' //
,* ; \,O. //
,(:::)=//
( `~(###)
%---'`"y
\ /
\ / THAT'S A DELICIOUS TYPE OF ICE CREAM RIGHT ????
hjw __)(__
'------` RIGHT ?????????
%
__.------.
(__ ___ )
.)e )\ /
/_.------ CAVEAT RAPOR
_/_ _/
__.' / ' `-.__
/ <.--' `\
/ \ \c |
/ / ) GoT x \
| /\ |c / \.- \
\__/ ) /( ( \ <>'\
/ _/ _\- `-. \/_|_ /<>
/ /--/,-\ _ \ <>.`.
\/`--\_._) - / `-/\ `.\
/ `. / ) `\
\ \ \___/----'
| / `(
___________ \ ./\_ _ \
______________ / | ) '|
__________________ | / \ \ ___________a:f
/ | |____.)
/ \ a88a\___/88888a.
\_ :)8888888888888888888a.
/` `-----' `Y88888888888888888
\____| `88888888888P'
%
_
.--,-"" ""-.
( )
j- __. |
| ' -'|
|`--._____,+-.
.';`--.___.' `.
.' / _ | TAKE ME HOME AND SMOTHER ME
/ ,-' _.-'o;__\
( .' o.-' \)`.
`j--..___.' ' / )
(/ _ `-._ `-/`--' ,----.
(.' `--. `. `-._.'`._,-<o ===|
.' \ `. /\`./`. `----'
.' | `' _\,() \
.' ;_) ()___/ \
/ `._____.' | \
\ / =====. \ _ `.
`.____/ / \ __\/() \
.' ( ) ()____/ .'
/ `--- -' |\ .'
`---.___ | `-'
.-`--.________.---'`.
.-' / \
/ .' \
/ _.-'\ |
| `-.____.-' `. ; .-""-.
| | `. ,' |
\ | \ /
`.___.' `. /
hjw \ .'
`.__.'
%
m " m" " m m
" m " "m " " "m m m
" m " " " "m" " " "m m IF I CAN'T PAINT WIDE AND FAR WITH
m m m " " " " " "m"m"m"m"m"m THIS BRUSH THEN WHY AM I HOLDING IT
" m " " "m"m" "m"m"m"m"m"m"m"m
"m"m m"m" "m m"m"m"m"m"m"m"m"m"m$"m
$ " "m"m"m"m"m"m"m"m"m"m$" $m
" "m"m"m"m"m"m$" m"m"m
$ $"m"m"m"m$" m"m" "m
m"m m "m"m$" m"m" "m
$ $ $ $" m"m" "m
" m "$m"m" m"m
m"m $" m" $
$ $ $ m" m"
"m" $ m" m$$
$ m" m$" $
$" m""$ $
""" $ $
$ $
$ $
$ $
%
.-~-.
.' '. YOU KNOW THOSE THINGS THAT TURN
/ \ HARD-BOILED EGGS INTO CUBES
.-~-. : ;
.' '.| |
/ \ : WELL I WANT TO DO THAT WITH MY BALLS
: ; .-~""~-,/
| /` `'.
: | \
\ | / YOU KNOW FOR AESTHETIC REASONS
`. .' \ .'
jgs `~~~` '-.____.-'
%
_________
\ \
\ -dd- \ YES *PLEASE* I WOULD LIKE TO
\ \ HEAR MORE ABOUT TWITTER
\ \
)--------) IT TOTALLY DOESN'T MAKE MY BALLS ACHE
//)/)/) / MORE AND MORE EACH TIME SOMEONE TALKS ABOUT IT
/////// /
/////// /
/////// / WHAT NO I'M ONLY LIGHTING THIS MATCH FOR UNRELATED
/""""""""/ REASONS IT'S NOT TO LIGHT YOU ON FUCKING FIRE
/____<()_/
||
|| HOLD STILL FUCKFACE
||
||
||
%
__ __
/ <` '> \
( / @ @ \ ) I ACTUALLY THINK THAT GLENN BECK IS QUITE
\(_ _\_/_ _)/ REASONABLE AND MAKES A LOT OF GOOD POINTS
(\ `-/ \-' /)
"===\ /==="
.==')___(`==. THEN AGAIN I'M A FUCKING CRAB
hjw ' .=' `=. SO WHAT THE FUCK DO I KNOW
%
__________________________
/| Art Gallery |
/ | ____ ____ ____ |
/ | |o | | , | | _ | | I'M ARTISTIC
/ | | O | |. | |(@) | | (INSERTS BULLWHIP)
/ | |_,k,| |_,-,| |\|p | |
/ /| | | h | | ,; | | | | |
/ / | | |_z__| |____| |____| |
/ /@;| | z z |
/ |Y | z|_{)_______________________|
/ | / /z /H
/ /| |/ /z Y
/ / | / {) d
/ / %| / /|
| |&"| / Y
| | / / d
| |/ /
| / HEY GUESS WHAT FOLKS
| /
| / YOU KNOW ALL THOSE GREAT ARTISTS THROUGHOUT HISTORY WHOSE
| / NAMES YOU INSTANTLY RECOGNIZE AND WHOSE WORK YOU APPRECIATE
| /
DR |/ GET THIS THROUGH YOUR FUCKING HEADS:
PEOPLE PAID FOR WHAT THEY DID BECAUSE IT WAS WORTH SOMETHING
SMEARING BULLSHIT ON A CANVAS ENTITLES YOU TO PAY FOR YOUR OWN CANVASSES
%
#############################################################################
# #
# *****\_____________________________________________________/***** #
# /#############################################################\ #
# /#################################################################\ #
# ""###################################################"" #
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# ,''',. ,'|#| =##= |#| |#|',=##= |#| _ ,#
#-, ..'' '.' ################ ################,' '',.'',. .,' #
#__'______________################__________################___________'____#
#^^^^ ^^^^^ ^^^ |#| |##| |#| /\/^^^ ^^^|#| |##| |#|^^ ^^^^ ^^^^ ^^#
#^ ^^^^/\^^^^^/\/ =#= =##= =#=^^^^^/\^^^ =#= =##=^^=#=/\^^^^ /\^^^^/\ #
#\/\/\/\ /\/\/\################\/\/\/ /\################ ^/\/\/\/\ ^^ #
# /\/\/\/\/\ ################ /\/\/\ ################/\/\ /\/\/\/\ #
#\/\/\ /\/\/\/\/|#| |##| |#|/\/\ /\/\/\|#| |##| |#| /\/\/\/\/\/\ #
# /\/\/\/\/\ /\/\/\/\/\ /\/\/\/\/\/\ /\/\/\/\/\/\/ /\/\/\/ #
#spb\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/#
#############################################################################
I'M REALLY LOOKING FORWARD TO PINK PANTHER 3

%
..
c='o|\ _.-7 LICKERISH IS A WORD THAT DOESN'T MEAN
cwz ,-( | | |/ ANYTHING LIKE I HAD THOUGHT OR HOPED
`-.-' (o)-(o)
%
_ _ _ _ _
( " " " " ) .gggppp. NO I
l : I'M A :$P_ _T$; AM WHATEVS I'M
| | FAGGOT ( , . ) SUCKING BOTH
| _| ; '--' : / YOUR COCKS
|_ _/ l)_ / ; -- ):
|(""" `-' l "------"t-. \ ___
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| .:' .-'` ` '-./.'_.' | MAKE ME LOOK FAT?
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/'\ CATEGORY:FICTIONAL BALLS
/
/ , THANKS WIKIPEDIA
c-' /
/'-._ ,____,' .-'''-. I KNEW YOU'D COME THROUGH
.-'.// \ '-;-========,"-,' ' FOR RIDICULOUSLY USELESS SHIT
,` /, \_//\ ,/ ( '- *) )
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_____'-.-`_______________________'-..-'____
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| \ / \ -` / OKAY LET'S APPROACH THIS FROM
\ | | `"\"` | THE REVERSE ANGLE:
\ \ \ -. / \
`._ |-.>, `\_,-| \ WHICH FACEBOOK FRIENDS AM I
|`-. / `>-._ \ `.__ | *NOT* GOING TO HIDE EVENTS FOR
\ | / \ / ) /
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_,,--,,_
/` .`\
/ ' _.-' \ OKAY FOLKS LET'S GET WITH THE TWENTIETH CENTURY
| `'_{}_ | AND STOP SPELLING AND PRONOUNCING THE WORD "MOSLEM"
| /` `\ |
\/ == == \/
/| (.)(.) |\
\| __)_ |/
|\/____\/|
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\ / MMMKAY
jgs `.____.`
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_\'._ \\
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\ |^|
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| ())))_/._\._) //_.\_ %% ( /
| \_) /.--._\___/__.-.\ (.' / WHAT'S A FAGGOT DOING AS A JUDGE
\_ ( __._'_..'.__. ) .' IN A FUCKING BEAUTY CONTEST ANYWAY
\ ) (_.(_)/( /
\\ / \ / \ //
) \ ). \ / (
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/.' (_ / | / ) \'| |._) NO OFFENSE TO FAGGOTS
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_____(__'-.___)/____..'__)___'._'.__
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/\.-./~\
(o//o)| \-._ .-"-.
.~.'~ | | )`-----' \._ GEOCITIES MUST BE PRESERVED
(").'/.| | ( /-.\ BECAUSE EVERYTHING THERE IS
(_/-' \_/ | \ | \\ SO INCREDIBLY AWESOME
\ / / ____.-\ / ))
/\| /_.-' \\ \ ((
// || \\ \ \|
\\ ||' // \\ AS IN MOST OF US HAVEN'T HAPPENED
(/ || _// \\ ACROSS A GEOCITIES SITE IN YEARS
" (_/ (_/ (_/MJP AND HAD ALREADY ASSUMED IT WAS GONE
" " "
%
_._._._.,-.
XXXX&,-' ( /oo'.XXXXXX
====( # _(")=====
_.-(# . /\-._.--. WITH ALL THIS TALK ABOUT SWINE FLU
(###.\_(-'--'|_(\#\#####.' I'M WONDERING IF MY BALLS CAUGHT IT
`-._###'#_#####.#_'.-''
kOs '.--' `-.-.-'
%
/___/____/____/____/_____/_______/______
/_/____/____/___/______/_____/_____/___
/_____/____/______/___/____/___/______/___/
/__/_____/_o__o/____/____/___/_____/____/______
| o__O_\o
| __o \ o
| __o| __) o _______ A DAY WITHOUT A GAY !!!!!1111
| | || \_/ o o | ___ |
|_|_||/\_| o | | |
|| | |/_/\_\ o | |__ GREAT IDEA FELLAS THAT'LL LEARN US
||_|_/I/ \_\ o |
|___/_/ \_\ o |() HOW EXACTLY WOULD WE NOTICE
/_/ \_\ o |
/_/ \_\ o o |
/ / ejm \ \ o |_ o o o o
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%
( )
( ) ( WOW FIREFLY REFERENCES ON XKCD ?!?!?!?!
) _ )
( \_ THERE'S NO POSSIBLE WAY THAT COULD BE SHITTY
_(_\ \)__
(____\___)) NEXT UP: BUFFY THE VAMPIRE SLAYER, ALIEN RESURRECTION
Krogg98
%
.
`-.______.-'`-. .-'\ .
____________) ___ `--' `-'\ _
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' /' ,---. ,.,'`| |`-\' /xxxx/
((/ `'.'.' | | / /xxxx/
'' | | | | / /\xxx(
THIS APPEARS TO BE .' | | |/ / \
SOME ARRANGEMENT OF | .' /| / /|_______\_
A GIRL BREATHING FIRE .' | | (// | | \xxxxxxx.
OR PERHAPS HAVING | | | `--'Y| : \x| |
SEX WITH A DEMON OR | | ` '''\.' : / /
MAYBE AN ANGEL !!!111 .' .'` \ | : _/ _/
| | | \ / | :/ /
COME TO THINK OF IT | | `. . m | :| /
MAYBE I SEE A DESK .' | | | v |=====|=/
IN THERE SOMEWHERE | .' .| | / \xxxx|/
| | || `. |xxx|
BOTTOM LINE IS I'M | | .'`-'/| |xx(_
GETTING REALLY LAZY | .' | | / | /`xxxx\
IN MAKING THIS SHIT .' | `-'/ .' | \xxxx\
| .' | / | .' |\xxxx,
| | `-'` | | |x\xxx\
| | | / /| | |xx\xxx\
.',`-'_/` / | .' |xx|\xxx\
| | )/ / | | |xx| \xxx--
`-' // / _/ | |xx_. \xx( `.
/--) \\ . |x/_| \xx\__`.
\_/ |\ _\ /\/| | \x\ \
| \ \ \__/ | |-`/
`--` mv \/
%
| GUYS
|
| | THESE SAVINGS ARE UN-BOAT-LIEVABLE!!!
|-|-| |
| |
| {O} |
'--| |
.|]_ |
_.-=.' | |
| | |]_ |
|_.-=' | __|__
_.-=' |\ /|\
| | |-'-'-'-'-.
|_.-=' '========='
` | |
`. | / \
|| / \____.--=''''==--.._
||_.'--==' |__ __ __ _.'
|| | | |\ || || || | ___
____ ||__|____|____| \||__||__||_/ __________________/| |
| |______ |===.---. .---.========''''=-._ | | | / | |
| || |\| ||| | | | '===' || \|_____|_____|____/__|___|
|-.._||_____|_\___'---' '---'______....---===''======//=//////========|
|--------------\------------------/-----------------//-//////---------/
| \ / // ////// /
| \______________/ // ////// /
| _____===//=//////=========/
|==============================================================LGB/
'----------------------------------------------------------------`
%
___________________________________
| _____ |
| \ o / | HELP
| ~~~ |
| Dux |
| |
| |
| | I'VE FALLEN ON MY HEAD
| | AND MY HEAD IS IN THE TOILET
----------------------------------- AND SOMEONE IS FLUSHING THE TOILET
| __------__ | AND IT'S MAKING GURGLING NOISES
/ ./ ,....., \. \ AS IT'S SUCKING MY HEAD
/ ./ . _ . \. \ INTO THE HOLE
/ / /o)_// \ \ AND I CAN'T BREATHE
( ( ~ "(__) _ ) )
\ \. ~_~~~~~ ./ /
\ \.________./ /
\ /
\.========./
I I
I I I SAID HELP
/] [\
cfbd // \\
-------\\_____________//-------
%
I'M GETTING REALLY TIRED
OF LISTENING TO PHILIP GLASS' ALL-ANAL ORCHESTRA
HE USED TO HAVE A VAGINAL SYMPHONY

BUT HE SAID IT JUST DIDN'T FEEL RIGHT TO HIM
GET IT =_
||\
C O C O |||\
C O c O (\/\/ C O (\/\/ ||||\O
(\/\/ (\/\/ /| | (\/\/ c O /| | ||||\/\
/| | /| | / | /| /| | (\/\// | /| ||||// \
/ | /| / | /|/__|/ | / | /| /| |__|/ | |||/ __\|
/__|/ |/__|/ | " /__|/ | / | /| " |__: //| |
" " " /__|/ | -
c O ! " ( )
c O (\/\/ \ -\
(\/\/ c O /| | ___ \O - \O
/| | (\/\// | /| / \/|) ( & )/)
/ | /| /| |__|/ || ./||\ _____ -\/|\
/__|/ | / | /| " \___/ | \ /\ | (_) | \
" /__|/ | /|\ |__\ -- | |__\
" " /|\ "
O ______________
/\/ /________________) O @
/ \_|___O /___________| _|/_ \ O @
|/__ /_oo-#= | /( )_\ \-O \|_
| |\\ :|(/| \/ ;/_)_(_ \_\ O / |_\
||__ |O _( ) \| /| / ( )
O / | |\\ =#-@@| / / / __\| / | ;/__)_(
/_oo-#= \/ | //| | __|| ( )
| \/ __|| ___O //| | /_|_|
||__ ejm97 //| | \ \/ )>==O ' '
| |\\ | O \/)
__|| /| | .-O
----- //| | / | __|| (=) )
\ __|| //| | \(/|
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__/%) // | |
(%%%)
\/\|
*__| \__*
%
.-.
,-( o )-.
( o )-( o )
.-\-'.|,`-/-. .-.
( o )--*--( o ) ,-( o )-.
`-/-.'|`,-\-' ( o )-( o )
( o )-( o ) .-\-'.|,`-/-.
`-( o )-' _( o )--*--( o )
`-' \/_/ `-/-.'|`,-\-'
__ | ( o )-( o )
\_\| .'`-( o )-'
| .'\ `-'
|/ |\
__ | \| I THOUGHT THESE WERE ANAL BEADS AT FIRST
\_\|
| __ TURNS OUT THEY'RE FLOWERS
|/_/
__ |
\_\|
| __
|/_/ UP MY ASS YOU GO REGARDLESS
__ |
\_\| CAN SOMEBODY GET A VASE WITH SOME WATER
| __ TO PUT THESE IN WHEN I'M DONE
|/_/
__ | AND MAYBE SOME WD-40 (I LIKE THE SMELL)
\_\|
| __
|/_/
__ |
\_\|
| __
|/_/ VK/hh
%
_,--"^"--._
,'\ /`.
,' \_______/ `. I'VE DECIDED TO MAJOR IN ANALOLOGY
| / \ |
| / \ | BECAUSE I WANT MY DEGREE TO BE WORTH SOMETHING
| _/ \_ | IN THE POST-RECESSION JOB MARKET
\'' `-. ,-' ``/
\ `-._,-' / ALSO I HEAR THE ANAL MARKET
\ | / IS DUE FROM SOME STIMULUS FROM THE FED
`-.._ | _,,-' THANKS NANCY PELOSI
hjm ``"''
%
.---.
| '.| __
| ___.--' )
_.-'_` _%%%_/
.-'%%% a: a %%%
%% L %%_
_%\'=' | /-.__
.-' / )--' #/ '\ MY SCARF IS MADE OF YOUR PUBES
/' / /---'( : \ I PULLED THEM OUT OF YOUR SHOWER DRAIN
/ | /( /|##| \ |
/ ||# | / | /| \ \ PS MY NEW SHOW IS PRETTY DISAPPOINTING
| ||##| I \/ | | _| OH YEAH AND "ANAL"
| ||: | o |#| | / |
| || / I |:/ / |/
| || | o / / /
| \| | I |. / /
\ /|##| o |.| /
\/ \::|/\_ / ---'|
\ |\ | | :\
| | / \...' |
| |# |/\ \ |
| | :| | | |
snd | | | | | |
%
|\
| \ /|
| \____ / | THE FINAL WORD ON ANAL SEX!!!
/|__/AMMA\/ | WOMEN DO NOT ENJOY IT, IT FEELS LIKE HAVING
/AMMMMMMMMMMM\_| TO TAKE A CRAP EXCEPT MORE HURTY AND DEMEANING
___/AMMMMMMMMMMMMMMA
\ |MVKMMM/ .\MMMMM\
\__/MMMMMM\ /MMMMMM---
|MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM| / IN PORN THEY SAY THEY ENJOY IT BECAUSE THEY ARE
|MMMM/. \MM.--MMMMMM\/ GETTING PAID
/\MMM\ /MM\ |MMMMMM ___
/ |MMMMMMMMM\ |MMMMMM--/ \-. IN REAL LIFE WOMEN SAY THEY ENJOY IT
/___/MMMMMMMMMM\|MM--M/___/_| \ BECAUSE THEY ARE STUPID
\VMM/\MMMMMMM\ | /\ \/ AND YOUR DICK IS SMALL
\V/ \MMMMMMM\ | /_ /
| /MMMV' \| |/ _/
| / _/ / AND THEN THEY GUILT YOU INTO BUYING THEM PRESENTS
|/ /| \' BUT YOU CAN HIT THEM WITH THIS HANDY MACE INSTEAD
/_ /
/ / VK
%
_ . - = - . _
. " \ \ / / " .
, \ / .
. \ _,.--~=~"~=~--.._ / .
; _.-" / \ ! ! / \ "-._ .
/ ," / ,` .---. `, \ ". \
/.' `~ | /:::::\ | ~` '.\ DON'T IT MAKE
\`. `~ | \:::::/ | ~` ~ .'/ MY BROWN ASS BLUE
\ `. `~ \ `, `~~~' ,` / ~`.' /
. "-._ \ / ! ! \ / _.-" .
./ "=~~.._ _..~~=`" \.
,/ "" \,
LGB . _/ \_ .
" - ./. .\. - "
%
_ _
(`-`;-"```"-;`-`)
\.' './ LEAVE BRITNEY ALONE !!!
/ \
; 0 0 ;
/| = = |\
; \ '._Y_.' / ;
; `-._ \|/ _.-' ; AT LEAST UNTIL SHE'S DONE
; `"""` ; SUCKING ME OFF
; `""-. .-""` ;
/; '--._ \ / _.-- ;\
: `. `/|| ||\` .' :
'. '-._ _.-' .' jgs
(((-'` `"""""` `'-)))
%
_______________
|,----------. |\ THE DAY I TAPED
|| |=| | THE DAY THE UNIVERSE CHANGED
|| || | |
|| . _o| | | __
Ojo |`-----------' |/ /~/
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ / /
~~
%
I HATE IT WHEN I SHIT AND THE POO COMES FLYING OUT OF ME SO FAST
IT GOES STRAIGHT DOWN THE DRAIN AND I CAN'T LOOK AT IT OR
TAKE A PICTURE AFTER I'M DONE BECAUSE IT'S BASICALLY FLUSHED ITSELF
COME ON DON'T ACT LIKE YOU DON'T LOOK AT YOUR SHIT EVERYTIME
IT'S TO CHECK YOUR HEALTH AND ALSO OUT OF CREATIVE PRIDE
AM I ALONE ON THIS ONE OR WHAT
___ ________________________ ___ ________________________ ___

I I I I I I I I
I I I I I I I I
IHI I I IHI I I
I I I I I I I I
I I I I I I I I
I I I I I I I I
I I O I-I I I O I-I
I I I I I I I I
I I I I I I I I
I I I I I I I I
IHI I I IHI I I
I I I I I I I I
___I I________________________I I___I I________________________I I___
I (_( )___( )_) I (_( )___( )_) I
I I I I I I I I I I I
I I_I I_I I I I I I I
_H_ <$> <$> _H_ <#> <#> CN _H_
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L|J(_)
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,(. |`/ \- y (,`)
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jgs (' ),) | _W_ (,)' ).
POOKA AND FYGAR WILL

SEE YOU IN HELL
%
. . * . . . . * . . . . . . * . . . .
* . . * . . . * . . * . . . * . . .
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| `._\-' ' . . .
| `.__, \ * . . *. .
| \ \. . .
| \ \ . * jrei *
EARTH SECOND, THIRD, MAYBE FOURTH

LET ME GET BACK TO YOU ON THAT ACTUALLY IT MIGHT BE LOWER PRIORITY
%
, _
)\ __`9)
_,/^`^(G)-' <
\(\a a ) / ) I KNOW IT'S 3 AM BUT I NEED
`(v__/` ,_ (_, ) TO BE LET OUT EVERY 90 MINUTES
mic Ù) _,) )-(_/ DUE TO THE SHITSQUIRTS
(_/ (_/
%
. !__________! . _______
/_\ |____ ____| /_\ |__*__|
__|__ {____}{____} __|__ |__*__|
__|_*_|__%%%%%%%%%%%%__|_*_|__|__*__|__
| | %%%%%%%%%%%%%% | | |/ \|
%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%
%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%% OUT OF MY BEDROOM
%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%
/||||||||||||||||||||\ INTO MY MOUTH
||||||||||||||||||lc||
%
_/"\
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I'M NOT SURE WHETHER THIS IS HOT OR NOT

SO I FIGURE I'D BETTER DEFAULT TO HOT
%
_ ___________________________=====____
__--__ / || =<==== NCC-1701 ======= /
___________---______---___________ \_||__________________________________/
\________________________________/ | |
\______/ \__ .. : \ | |
`--' \_ : \ | |
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\ |||_ .::. : |_|--_
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_- -_ _ ___________________________=====__
_/ \_ / || /\
/ \ \_||_____,-,___________________ _\/
/ \ | | =====
/ | | |
| ____ __--------------____|_| I'M WORRIED THERE
| ,- __ -. \ ||| `--_ ISN'T ENOUGH EXPLODING
| | (__) | -)=| _) SHIT IN THE NEW
| `-____-' / ||| ______,-- STAR TREK MOVIE
| -------------- | |
\ | | |
\ / _ _____| |___________________=====___
\_ _/ / || `-' /\
\_ _/ \_||___________________________ __\/
-___ .. ___- =====
---_________---
__ __
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\_________________________________/
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%
__
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(((( ))))
(((' . '))) ELLA KIDNAPPED, RAPED, FUCKED OUT,
(((\_-_/))) ENCHANTED, AND THEN TOSSED
(((_) (_)))
/((( \ / )))\
/ ((( ^ ))) \
/ / (( ^ )) \ \
( ( \ ^ / ) )
\ \ )www( / /
`\\ / \ //'
/' `\
/ \
/ \
/ \
/ \
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/ \
/ \
/ \
/ \ jgs
| |
`-----......_____......-----'
%
_
` )\. HOW COULD YOU ?!?!?!??!?!??!!?
/ \_
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\\ \';*"."@,'// EVERYTIME YOU BURP, YOU MURDER A FART
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gpyy `'
%
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%
___________________________
/\ \
/''\ \
/''''\____________________ \
/'''''/////////////////////\ \
/'''''////\ \////////////''\ \
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/'''''////\'''\ \ /'''/\'''''\ \
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\| |||\ /'''//// \'''\ /'''''//////// |||
| |||'\ /'''////_____\___\/'''''////////| |||
| |||''\ \''//// \''''//////// | |||
| |||'''\ \//// \''//////// | |||
| |||''''\___________________\//////// | |||
| |||''''//////////////////////////// | |||
| |||\''//////////////////////////// | |||
LGB/Laury | ||| \//////////////////////////// | |||
____| |||_ ____| |||_
`. '.||| `. I'M JONESIN' `. '.||| `.
`.________`. FOR SOME BONESIN' `.________`.
%
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|_\
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| TONIGHT, WE DIE
_,__, /
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(0000000) /####### \ sSSsS,
|a'aaaaa | ssSSSs8
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| | | _ 98 \ _/ \ TO BE "DINE"
\_ \/ \__ / \
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|=|
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/ \ ___/ /| | ''--.._
| | \) || | ===|\
', _/ .--' || | ====| | BE DOWN IN A BIT...
`"`; ( || | ===|/
[[[[]]_..,_ \|_|_..--;"` JUST FIXING WIKIPEDIA
/ .--""``\\ __)__|_
.' .\,,||___ | |
( .' -""`| `"";___)---'|________|__
|\ / __| [_____________________]
\| .-' `\ |.----------.|
\ _ | || ||
jgs ( .-' ) || ||
`""""""""""""` """ """
%
.,,,,,,,,,,.
,;;;;;;;;;;;;;;,
,;;;;;;;;;;;)));;(((,,;;;,,_
,;;;;;;;;;;' |)))))))))))\\
;;;;;;/ )'' - /,)))((((((((((\
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| ---, \ \ (((((((((((
| `\ \~-_____| ))))))))) NO I DON'T KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS
| `\ | |_.---.((((((((
\ | | )))))))))
((((((((
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TX ((((((
%
* . HEY LOOK AT ME
.
* ' * I'M A UFO
* . ' FLAP FLAP FLAP FLAP
' . / . *
.-'~~~~'-. /
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(_____//~~\\//~~\\______)
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/
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| DAVID CARRADINE WAS
|
| AUTOEROTIC ASPHYXIAWESOME
X`
/ \
| \
| |
\__/
%
_ _.-'`-._ _
;.'________'.;
_________n.[____________].n_________
|""_""_""_""||==||==||==||""_""_""_""]
|"""""""""""||..||..||..||"""""""""""|
|.. .. .. ..||..||..||..||.. .. .. ..|
,,;;,;;;,;;;,;;;,;;;,;;;,;;;,;;,;;;,;;;,;;,,
;;jgs;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;
OBAMA'S PECS ?!!??!?!?!?!? SWOOOOOOOOOOOOOON
MICHELLE'S BUFF ARMS ?!?!?!? SWOOOOOOOOOOOON
THEIR TWO CHILDREN ?!?!?!?!??!?!??! ADORABLE
HIS NEW DOG ?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!??!?! FUCKING IT

%
__________________________
/ | |______| |___ __/
/ , | | /\ | | ^ | | ,--.
,' ,'| | |.' `.| |/ \| | / \
,' ,'__| | |______| |___| | \ /
/ | | | | _ `--'
[ ,--. | |,--| |] (_) FINALLY !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11
|__/ \_|__________/ \__|= o
\ / \ / A THRILLER ABOUT BLOGGERS/TWITTERERS
bmw `--' `--'
%
_____________
MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMgggg,,,,__
"""????YYMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMb, .,gggg,, LOOKS LIKE OUR
"";;""++??MMMMMMMMMMMYYY++""`+MMMMMb, LATEST SUPREME
.';' `"?;"" `MMMMMMb. COURT JUSTICE
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;' ;' ``"""`""""""'";, ;MMMMMMMMb___________________________
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__ _.--..--._ _
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|__ / _/\__/\_ \__|
|___/\_\__/ \___|
\__/
\__/ SIGN MY LEFT 4 DEAD 2 BOYCOTT PETITION
\__/ BECAUSE I'M A FUCKING WHINEY BITCH OF A CHILD
\__/ WHO THINKS PETITIONS AND BOYCOTTS ACTUALLY WORK
____\__/___
. - ' ' -.
/ \
~~~~~~~ ~~~~~ ~~~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~~~
~~~ ~~~~~ ~!~~ ~~ ~ ~ ~ ~pjb
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\__/,'`.,'`._,
/,-. \ / <_, SOB !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1111
> - )/ / <_,
\__,/ / ,'
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/,---' \\ \_ `.
` / `. \
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|/\/\/\| `. \
\ | /\ `.`.
\( /\ \ `.`.
| \ `.`._, `-\_,
| /| `-'
|/\(
|(_\\_ IT'S NOT RIGHT THAT THE LILITH FAIR IS GIRLS ONLY
| / \ (
/_/gnv\_\
%
_______
| |
| | YOU'VE GOTTA GIVE THOSE HOMEOPATHS CREDIT
|-dd- | FOR COMING UP WITH A QUACK BULLSHIT "ALTERNATIVE
| | HEALING" SYSTEM THAT ISN'T EVEN INTERNALLY CONSISTENT
| ,-"-. | NOR MAKES THE SLIGHTEST OF LOGICAL SENSE
|||_||)||
||| ||\||
| `-_-' |
| |
| |
| |
| |
| |
| | A QUACK'S A QUACK THE WORLD AROUND
|\_____/|
|_______|
%
( )___( )
/__oo \
( \/ ) THIS JUST IN: PLUTOCRATS SERIOUSLY PISSED OFF
| `=/ | ABOUT THE RECENT RECLASSIFICATION OF PLUTO
/ \
/ / \ \
/ ( \ \
( ,_/_ \ \
\_ '= \ )
""' / /
; / /'?
: (((( /
ctr `._ \ _ ( DETAILS ON RESPONSE TO FOLLOW
__| | /_
("__,.."'_._.)
%
(~)(~)(~) FINALLY TWITTER HAS FOUND A WAY TO MAKE MONEY !!1!!111!!
'|''|''|'
\|/\|/\|/ WELCOME TO HTTP://TWITTER.IR/
[~~~~~~~~~]
|~~~~~~~| OKAY NO TWEETING ABOUT THE IRANIAN ELECTIONS OR RIOTS
ldb |_______| OR ANYTHING NAUGHTY OR TOPICAL OR ANYTHING AT ALL ACTUALLY
%
_ _.--.____.--._
( )=.-":;:;:;;':;:;:;"-._
\\\:;:;:;:;:;;:;::;:;:;:\ I HOPE YOU HAD A HAPPY FAG DAY
\\\:;:;:;:;:;;:;:;:;:;:;\
\\\:;::;:;:;:;:;::;:;:;:\ SHIT I MEAN FLAG DAY
\\\:;:;:;:;:;;:;::;:;:;:\
\\\:;::;:;:;:;:;::;:;:;:\ FUCK GODDAMMIT
\\\;;:;:_:--:_:_:--:_;:;\
\\\_.-" "-._\
\\
\\
\\
\\
\\ THAT'S FLAG DAY NOT FAG DAY
hh+geni+vk \\
%
.__ _..._
/,-./'.--. ``\.
/|/.--./`.o/ /`;\\
|||\ _ `-'_` o|/|| I'VE FOUND THE BEST HANGOVER CURE
||\\`.`.__`Y8P_,\|| IS JUST NEVER BOTHERING TO SOBER UP
\\|| `"\"""/---'||
\\| ,-' `.||//
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| | / `---.._
| `\ `.____ \
/ | `------'
\__|_,'
%
_.-------._
.' _|_|_|_|_ '.
/ _|_|_|_|_|_|_ \
| |_|_|_|_|_|_|_| | JANEANE
|_|_|_|_|_|_|_|_|_|
| |_|_|_|_|_|_|_| |
| |_|_|_|_|_|_|_| | GAROFALO
\ -|_|_|_|_|_|- /
'. -|_|_|_|- .'
jgs `---------`
%
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____________
\oooooooooo/
\________/
{________}
\______/
',__,'
|oo|
|oo| _____ THE STONING OF SORAYA M.
|==| / ___()
|==| / / IS NOT AT ALL WHAT I EXPECTED
|oo| / /
|oo|/ / I WAS EXPECTING MORE BROWNIES
|==/ / AND FEWER TOTAL BUMOUTS
|='./
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|==|
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,'____',
/"________"\
/____________\
%
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/`-. / /
/ / / /
/ / / _/
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/ / | .' \_/
.' \_/.' .-' I MAY BE A SLOB
jgs .' .-' /_ .' BUT I ALWAYS JIZZ INTO A CLEAN SOCK
/_ .' \_\/
\_\/
%
______
| |\
| |__\ I'M PRETTY SURE THAT CHANGING MY FACEBOOK
| --- ICON WILL SHOW MY SOLIDTARITY WITH THE IRANIAN
| / # \ PEOPLE IN THEIR TIME OF CRISIS
| | |
| \ / SINCE CLEARLY THAT'S HOW ALL REVOLUTIONS STARTED:
| ---|\\ PEOPLE CHANGING THEIR ICONS ON SOCIAL MEDIA SITES
gpyy |__________| \\
%
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`------__------- ______ _ _ ____ ____ __
I THINK THIS NATION NEEDS A FAGGOT CZAR

%
__
(::\
_____ _\::\__ CAN'T WE JUST AGREE THAT BOTH
/| _(::( \::\__ PEREZ HILTON AND WILL.I.AM
/ | _(::\::\ \::\:\ ARE STUPID ATTENTION WHORE FAGGOTS
\ |_(::Y\""`.\__\_|""\
\___\/__\ ___________\ MESSAGE ENDS
( ( \ x \ __ _ _ _\ (
|_:__\~ \ \_ |\| `(__\ ) )
|z: \ \ \ |"\\_7 _)\ ( )
|i: \ \ \ (,,_________________
|p: \ # \____________\ _____ ;;_____________):::)
|p: \ / cancers / /XxXxX`-'xXxXxXxX`-\
cjr (o:______ \/____________/ /____________________\
%
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_____|____|_____ ((()(())) / / /
/ \ (((((((() / /
| |()(()(())_
| |(((()()() | CAN'T WE JUST PASS A RESOLUTION
\ '\()))))( | IN THE SENATE APOLOGIZING FOR
\ \((((( / *EVERYTHING* THAT HAS HAPPENED
\ . \___. ( OR WILL HAPPEN?
\ / \ |:| ) \
| | |`------' | "SORRY FOR SLAVERY, JAPANESE
\____________/ \_________/ INTERNMENT, PROHIBITION, AND
THE CYBER-QUARANTINE OF 2076"
(HOLOCAUST 2: ELECTRIC BOOGALOO)
%
_____
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/ | 6 6
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____/ /_ AFK
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/ /\' _ _)\ GOTTA BANG SOME CHICK IN ARGENTINA
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ALL HAIL PRINCE $" $$ THE NEW KING OF POP
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/\
/ \ I'M EITHER A KLANSMAN OR A PRICK
/ oo \ /
/ \
| |
| |
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tQn
%
IN HONOR OF NATIONAL PRIDE DAY
I'VE JUST TAKEN THE BIGGEST DUMP OF MY ENTIRE LIFE
AND THAT'S SOMETHING WE CAN ALL BE PROUD OF
________
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\ ' / I THINK I'M A BRIGHT
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--- ( ) --- SO YOU CAN STAB ME UNTIL YOU'RE CONFIDENT I'M DEAD
\ /
_|=|_ THEN STAB A FEW MORE TIMES TO BE SURE
|_____| kat
%
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.'/\'.
.'-/__\-'.
.'--/____\--'.
.'--./______\.--'. SOOOOOO
.'--../________\..--'.
.'--.._/__________\_..--'. SENATOR AL FRANKEN
.'--..__/____________\__..--'.
.'--..___/______________\___..--'.
'========'================'========'
[_|__] [_|__]
=[__|_]=====""=====[__|_]==.
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;: [ (_.'.-. (_.' .-. (_.'| ;:'
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[(_.' .-. '._) .-.'._)] THANKS AGAIN MINNESOTA
(o) /.-. (_.'.-. (_.' .-.];:(o)
(\'/)['._).-. (_.' .-.(_.'] (\'/) (WAS: RE: JESSE VENTURA)
[ (_.'.-. .-.'._) \ ;:
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/ o \ .............................................
/______/\_\ .................................... EMPLOYED
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_ _ BE SURE TO TAKE THE LATEST

<_\ /") "WHICH BORING BULLSHIT THING ARE YOU?"
,--\,-(=( QUIZ ON FACEBOOK
/ # )=)
( (_/) ONLY 70,000 MORE QUIZZES TO GO
\ /
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| | ~~~|~~| | ~~\ / `-' |`~ |~_____{/
| | | '---------, \----| | | ,' ~/~\,|`
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JB \ | '\'
`~'
TODAY IS THE DAY THAT THE UNITED STATES FINALLY

GAINED ITS INDEPENDENCE AND WON TOTAL VICTORIES
OVER GERMANY AND JAPAN AND BECAME A SUPERPOWER
HAPPY AMERICA'S AWESOME DAY SUCKERS

%
-'"""`-.
( ) DROWNING JUICE
|`-.___.-'|
|.-'"""`-.| IS THE JUICE YOU DROWN IN
| |
|`-.___.-'| WELL MORE SPECIFICALLY IT'S THE JUICE
| | DESIGNED TO ASSIST IN DROWNING
|. ' " ` .|
| | ARGUABLY IT WAS HASBRO'S WORST CHILDREN'S TOY
`-.___.-'
VK
%
\\\\\_____________________\"-._
jgs /////~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~/.-'
MY INDICES ARE CONTRAVARIANT

%
)\ /|
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( / \\ \( L\
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[nabis] L\ L\
%
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\ \ \ `~~ I LIKE SAYING "CHICXULUB"
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______/=\\______/=\\_______| JML ap :|
'-'-'-[=]/'-'-'-[=]/'-'-'-/'.=:=:=:=:=:=:=:=:=:=:=:=:=:=:=:=:=:=:=:=:=
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'-'-'-'-'-'-'-'-'-'-'-'-/ .-' .--.--. |/|
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|] [|_|_|] [|_|_|] | |\ | \:|--|--| ; ;' '; ; -|--|--|/
|] [|_|_|] [|_|_|] | | \|--' ;; .--.___.--. ;;
_______________________| |.-' ;-[ O )=( O ]-;
|/| ( `--' | `--' )
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; |/ \| |/|/ . '---' .
\ | |/|/ |`. .'|
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|--|--|--|/ / \ /'. ,'\ / \
; |/ \ / \| ;
; ; / ' |. ' \ \; ;
; `-' | `-' MJP
OLD MACDONALD HAD A FARM
SUCK A FUCKING DICK
AND ON THAT FARM HE HAD SOME CHICKENS
WHY HAVEN'T YOU SUCKED THAT DICK YET AS PREVIOUSLY INSTRUCTED

%
0111001101110
10001110101011000
01011100100111010000
10000001101 001
01110011001
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11000110111 RUBY ON RAILS ???
010101101110 MORE LIKE SUCKING ON DICKS
011101000010
0000001000010
01000010010000
100100001001000
0100100001001000
010010000100100001
0010000100100001tQn
%
_.-,
__.' | .,
,'_ _ | :` ;
|'_` '_`|' : ,' EVEN I CAN'T WAIT TO SHOOT DOWN
|(o) (o)| ; ; MORE JAPPY PLANES IN CORAL SEA
`| \ |' ; ;
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| | |
| | |
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jgs ; | :
/_____|_____\
%
_________________________________________________________
||-------------------------------------------------------||
||.--. .-._ .----. ||
|||==|____| |H|___ .---.___|""""|_____.--.___ ||
||| |====| | |xxx|_ |+++|=-=|_ _|-=+=-|==|---|||
|||==| | | | | \ | | |_\/_|Black| | ^ |||
||| | | | | |\ \ .--. | |=-=|_/\_|-=+=-| | ^ |||
||| | | | | |_\ \_( oo )| | | |Magus| | ^ |||
|||==|====| |H|xxx| \ \ |''| |+++|=-=|""""|-=+=-|==|---|||
||`--^----'-^-^---' `-' "" '---^---^----^-----^--^---^||
||-------------------------------------------------------||
||-------------------------------------------------------||
|| ___ .-.__.-----. .---.||
|| |===| .---. __ .---| |XX|<(*)>|_|^^^|||
|| , /(| |_|III|__|''|__|:x:|=| | |=| Q |||
|| _a'{ / (|===|+| |++| |==| | | |Illum| | R |||
|| '/\\/ _(|===|-| | |''| |:x:|=| |inati| | Y |||
||_____ -\{___(| |-| | | | | | | | | | Z |||
|| _(____)|===|+|[I]|DK|''|==|:x:|=|XX|<(*)>|=|^^^|||
|| `---^-^---^--^--'--^---^-^--^-----^-^---^||
||-------------------------------------------------------||
Qryz ||_______________________________________________________||
CAN WE ALL JUST AGREE THAT "GONZO" IS A COMPLETELY

MEANINGLESS PORN VIDEO CLASSIFICATION AND THEREFORE
SHOULD STOP BEING USED SINCE IT SERVES NO PURPOSE
%
__
/__\
\__/ BILL HICKS WAS THE GREATEST COMEDIAN TO EVER HAVE LIVED
||
||
|| EXCUSE ME WHILE I SQUIRT HORRIBLE DIARRHEA INTO THIS
\__ TOILET FOR THE NEXT THREE TO FOUR HOURS AS PROOF
as \
%
|~~~~~~~|
| |
| |
| |
| |
| |
|~.\\\_\~~~~~~~~~~~~~~xx~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~/_//;~|
| \ o \_ ,XXXXX), _..-~ o / |
| ~~\ ~-. XXXXX`)))), _.--~~ .-~~~ |
~~~~~~~`\ ~\~~~XXX' _/ ';)) |~~~~~~..-~ _.-~ ~~~~~~~
`\ ~~--`_\~\, ;;;\)__.---.~~~ _.-~
~-. `:;;/;; \ _..-~~
~-._ `'' /-~-~
`\ / /
/ | , | |
SOMEBODY CHANGE MY DIAPER | ' / |
I JUST MADE A STINKY \/; |
;; |
`; . |
|~~~-----.....|
| \ \
| /\~~--...__ |
(| `\ __-\|
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.-"""-. ||::::::==========
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|- /~~~\ | ||::::::==========
|=( '.' ) | ||================
\__\_=_/__/ ||================
{_______} ||================
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/ /|ooo |`'--'|| AW CHRIST MY RIGHT NIPPLE ITCHES
( )\_______/ ||
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jgs _{__} _{__} ||
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^^~ `""" `""" ~^^^~^^~~~^^^~^^^~^^^~^^~^
%
`, MORE LIKE SOTOMAYAWN
___ #
|/ ? AM I RITE FOLKS
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,- / \_/ \ _/_ ####
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__;_||__|_______| ,-' ALT. '-_ |____|:__o___|_|_
[________________| / ASCII- \ |________________]
| | | _ _ART ____. | |
| Balif | | / / \| ||_)| | | |
| RALF | \\_\_/|_|| \|/ | |
____| | -_ ,- | |____
| | `-...,-' | |
| | | |
MJP |_______________|_____________________________|_______________|
%
_.----._
.' '.
/._ _.--._ \ WHAT DO WE WANT ?????
|_ '-' _.._ `|
\ `---' `-/ FREEDOM
'._ _.'
jgs '----'
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;._ _.---._ ; WHERE DO WE WANT IT ???????
|_ '---' _..._ `|
; `-...-' `-; IRAN
\ /
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jgs '-----'
_......._
.:::::::::::.
/:::::::::::::\
;:::::::::===:::; WHEN DO WE WANT IT ???????
|_`'==='`_,,,_ `|
;;;-,,,-;;;;;;;-; NOW
\;;;;;;;;;;;;;/
jgs ';;;;;;;;;;;'
`""""""'`
WHAT ARE WE GOING TO DO

ABOUT IT ??????????
CONTINUE CHANTING AS IF THAT

EVER ACCOMPLISHED ANYTHING
%
@=====@ HE'S THE DJ
#=@ @=#_ I'M THE RAPER
# \/\/\/\/\/\ #\
@@| _ _ |@@(
@@|\|_|-|_|/|@@ ) (OK SOMETIMES HE'S A RAPER TOO)
@| /\ |@ (
| \~~~~/ | )
| ~~~~ | |
\_______/ |
_________| |_______(____
/ \ / ( `\
/ / | fvk \ / |-\---, \
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|\ \ \___ ______________# | |__ \
|\\ /\ \ ', |\ # W W W W @@ \ /ooo `, \
||\\ ' ooo \\#\ # W W W W @@ \ ' \ \
|| \\ \ ; \#\___o_o_o_o____\ \ ; \
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\\ \
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\\_______________________________________________\
\ ___________________________________________ |
|| | || |
|| | || |
|| | || |
\|_| \|_|
%
,==.
\\// IF YOU LIKE IT /
.-~~-. THEN YOU SHOULDA PUT A FINGER IN IT
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IF YOU WERE ANY KIND OF RECORDED HISTORY

YOU'D BE ANNALS
%
____
/___.`--.____ .--. ____.--( TODAY IS THE ANNIVERSARY
.'_.- ( ) -._'. OF THE UNITED STATES
.'.' |'..'| '.'. ACCOMPLISHING AWESOME
.-. .' /'--.__|____|__.--'\ '. .-.E THINGS AND THEN DOING
(O).)-| | \ | | / | |-(.(O) NOTHING INTERESTING
`-' '-'-._'-./ \.-'_.-'-' `-' EVER AGAIN
_ | | '-.________.-' | | _
.' _ | | | __ | | | _ '. OKAY EXCEPT MAYBE
/ .' ''.| | / \ | |.'' '. \ INVENTING GONZO-STYLE
| |( )| '. || || .' |( )| | PORNOGRAPHY SO I GUESS
\ '._.' '. | \ / | .' '._.' / THERE'S THAT
'.__ ______'.|__'--'__|.'______ __.'
.'_.-| |------| |-._'.
//\\ | |--::--| | //\\
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%
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\ | (_) | / /\/ \/\ / /o o\ \ )( _ )( / \
\| |/ \ | | / (._\ Y /_.) (_/;---;\_) \ 6.6 /
|_____| \|_____|/ (O_`&`_O) / `"*"` \ ( _ )
| | | | L | / / \ \ ( (_.@._) ) .-'---'-.
| | | |__|__| / ()/^$) \ /'._\|/_.'\ / . . \
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jgs _|_|_|_ _|_|_|_ _|_|_|_ _|_|_|_ /\_ _/\
(___|___) (___|___) (___|___) (___|___) _| /`"`\ |_
( \ / \ / )
PRETTY SURE VACCINES GAVE MY KID AUTISM BECAUSE \_/ \_/
AFTER ALL I'M KNOWN FOR SHOWING OFF MY TITS
AND THAT PROVES IT CAN'T BE BAD GENES
%
_.---.._ I DON'T WANT TO BE RAPED
_ _.-' ''-. BUT I KNOW MY PLACE
.' '-,_.-' '''.
( _ o : __/
'._ .-' '-._ \ \- ---]
'-.___.-') )..-'
(_/ MJP
%
'! !'
'$.-.(/'
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n (o) n'
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.(0,-.0)._ AND THE ABSOLUTELY MOST RETARDED PORNSTAR
(------, ` -. _ NAME OF ALL TIME AWARD GOES TO .........
\.____/ \._
/ / / __ \_._ "QREAGHTIVE"
/ / / ./ \_____./'\._ <
/\/\ /\/\ \ / \/'
\ \_ (CURIOUSLY ENOUGH NO THAT IS NOT A TYPO)
./\/\/'
%
____,......__
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I THINK I'M A SCREWDRIVER OF SOME KIND
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| .
.-'|`-. | GAYTOWN, USA
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|||____|_|___|_____||_____|__________________________jro
%
::: =, THE COSMOS GAVE JUPITER
;;=;;=== A BLACK EYE BECAUSE IT DIDN'T
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___
__//_\\__
___________ _-~ ~ ~ ~-_
,-~~ ~~-, ,/ \,
`-__ ,- ,- ,-__-' `-__ __-'
| ~~~~~~~~~~~ | | ~~~~~~~~~~~ | IT'S A REAL PITY ABOUT
| ,- _ _ ,- | | ,- _ _ ,- | WIKIA SEARCH
| | | | | | | | | | | |
| | | | | | | | | | | |
| | | | | | | | | | | | IT SHOWED SUCH PROMISE
| | | | | | | | | | | | TO BE AS EMBARRASSING TO
| | | | | | | | | | | | HUMANITY AS WIKIPEDIA
| | | | | | | | | | | |
| | | | | | | | | | | |
| | | | | | | | | | | | INSTEAD IT JUST SUCKED
| | | | | | | | | | | | THE USUAL AMOUNT AND DIED
| | | | | | | | | | | |
| `- `_ `_ `- | | `- `_ `_ `- |
`-__ __-' `-__ __-' -rmcn
~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~
%
,-.
`._ / | ,
`--._ , ' _,-' WHERE'S HONUDRAS ANYWAY
_ __ `.| / ,--'
`-._,-' `-. \ : /
,--.-.-`'.'.-.,_-
_ `--'-'-;.'.'-'`--
_,-' `-.__,-' / : \
_,'| \ `--._ OH WAIT IS THAT THE FICTIONAL
jrei _,--' ' . `-. COUNTRY FROM TROPICO
,' \ | `
%
SENATE PAGES CONTRACTING SWINE FLU ?????
MAYBE PEOPLE STILL WORRIED ABOUT SWINE FLU

SHOULD BE MORE CONCERNED ABOUT FIST FLU
_ ,-, _
,--, /: :\/': :`\/: :\
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CAUSED BY THIS FIST (MINE)

%
. .
:"-. .-";
|:`.`.__..__.'.';|
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:; :;
/ .==. .==. \ LOOK I'M GOING TO JUST COME RIGHT OUT AND SAY IT
: _.--._ ;
; .--.' `--' `.--. :
: __;` ':__ ;
; ' '-._:;_.-' ' : I'VE BEEN PUTTING THIS OFF FOR A LONG TIME BUT
'. `--' .' IT'S ABOUT TIME SOMEONE SPOKE TRUTH TO POWER
."-._ _.-".
.' ""------"" `.
/`- -'\
/`- -'\ SOCKINGTON'S COLORATION LOOKS LIKE SHIT
:`- .' `. -';
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"-:___..--" "--..___;-"
%
.....
C C /
/< / MILTON FRIEDMAN HAS COME BACK FROM THE DEAD
___ __________/_#__=o TO SHARE HIS VIEWS ON FREEDOM, MONETARY
/(- /(\_\________ \ POLICY, AND THE PROPER ROLE OF THE FEDERAL
\ ) \ )_ \o \ GOVERNMENT VIS A VIS FEDERALISM AND LIBERTY
/|\ /|\ |' |
| _|
/o __\
/ ' | OH AND TO EAT YOUR BRAINS
/ / |
/_/\______|
( _( <
\ \ \
\ \ | ACTUALLY IT'S PROBABLY JUST TO EAT YOUR BRAINS
\____\____\ FROM THE LOOKS OF HIM
____\_\__\_\
%
____
,dP9CGG88@b,
,IP""YICCG888@@b, I'M WATCHING MICHAEL CRICHTON'S SPHERE
dIi ,IICGG8888@b WHICH IS TERRIBLE BUT STARTS OUT OKAY
________GCCIIIICCCGGG8888@@@__________________
Y8GGGGGG8888888@@@@P..... SO BASICALLY I LIKE WATCHING MOVIES
Y88888888888@@@@@P...... THAT SUCK BUT START OUT WITH PROMISE
`Y8888888@@@@@@@P'...... UNTIL THE POINT THAT THEY START SUCKING
`@@@@@@@@@P'....... IN EARNEST AND THEN JUST STOP WATCHING
fl """"........ AND INSTEAD MAKE UP MY OWN ENDING
IT'S KIND OF WEIRD THAT DUSTIN HOFFMAN

WOULD END UP WRESTLING WITH AN ORC THOUGH
%
______________________ Q
| | ___|\_.-,
| WITH A NAME LIKE S\ Q~\___ \|
| ORLY TAITZ I MUST |( )o 5) Q
| BE AN EXPERT ON |\\ \_ ()
| BIRTH CERTIFICATES | \'. _'/'.
| .-. '-( x< \
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|______ \'.__.----/ .'\ '.-'/ \\
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,-' . : .#._,-') I DON'T WANT TO ALARM ANYBODY BUT IT TURNS OUT
`#:_(`, : . .--' THAT MICROSOFT SILVERLIGHT IS A HUGE STINKY
.(__.-`-.: : PILE OF SKIPPY LOW-QUALITY USELESS DOGSHIT
Ojo (___.-")_)
I KNOW THAT'S A SHOCK AND EVERYTHING
%
,,_
{'%|=, CHARLOTTE BRONTE IS ONLY GOOD FOR STEADY FUCKIN'
)<
< ,\
)( |
| )` (WITH APOLOGIES TO M.C. LYTE)
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%
,-._.-.
/_,._,._\ I WOULD LIKE MORE PURPLE PROSE, LESS PURPLE LIP
\`-._.' /
hjw \_____/
%
_.-"""-._
_ / (#\ \
_.-"""-._ .nNNNNNn: \#) :
/ (#\ \_.-"""-._/NNNNN(#\N\ /
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\ /|||||(#\|\NNNNNNNNN/
"-.___.-"||||||\#)||"*NNNNN*"
\|||||||||/
`":|||:"' LOOK ON THE BRIGHT SIDE:
.-" "-.
.' (#\ `. EVENTUALLY WE'LL ALL DIE AND OUR MOLECULES WILL BE
: \#) : RECYCLED INTO LATER GENERATIONS OF PLANTS AND ANIMALS
`. .' AND PEOPLE WHO ARE JUST AS FUCKED UP AS WE ARE
"-...-"
%
__)),
//_ _)
( "\" MY NEW NAME IS MCANGUS VON AWESOME
\_-/
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#,-. ,-.#
() a e () IF GOD HAD WANTED US TO DEVELOP TECHNOLOGY
( (_) ) THEN HE WOULD HAVE GIVEN US BRAINS TO FIGURE
#\_ - _/# THINGS OUT AND ARMS AND HANDS AND FINGERS
,' `"""` `. TO MANIPULATE OBJECTS TO BUILD MEASUREMENT
,' \X/ `. DEVICES AND TOOLS AND THE ABILITY TO
/ X ____\ COLLABORATE AND GET TOGETHER AND CONSTRUCT
/ v ,` v `, THINGS BIGGER THAN OURSELVES AND ALSO THE
/ / ( <==+==> ) AMBITION AND DESIRE TO ACCOMPLISH SUCH THINGS
`-._/|__________\ ^ /
(\\) |______@____\ ^ /
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) | \^/
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| |
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:MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM; ARE YOU A WOMANIFORM
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..;;;;;;;
,;;;;;;;;;'
,;;;;;;;\
,;;;;;;;; \ WHAT HAPPENS IN VEGAS STAYS
,;;;;;;;; \ UP MY ASS UNTIL A GENERAL
,;;;;;;;; \ PRACTITIONER MANAGES TO FISH IT OUT
,;;;;;;;; ,,,, \
,;;;;;;;; ' ', \
,;;;;;;;; ' . ,\,
.,;;;;;;;;_______________ \ ',
/__________I I__________\
I__________I_____________I___________I
[=MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM=]
{ } { } III { }
{ } { } III { }
{ } [__] III { }
_{ } III { }
[__] O C O KH [__]
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( .88 |^||^)) ) MORE LIKE VANESSA LAME
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________
/________\ GOTTA MAKE MYSELF PRETTY SO SOMEDAY A MAN WILL
//( ( ( ( \\ MARRY ME
|| <o> <o>((||
||) ) ` ) )|| WAIT
|| (\___( ( ||
\|) ) \)_|/ GOTTA MAKE MYSELF PRETTY SO SOMEDAY A RICH MAN
/ ((\_v_/ \ WILL MARRY ME
/ /) x \ \
| | x | | WAIT
| \ x / |
| | x | | GOTTA MAKE MYSELF PRETTY SO SOMEDAY A RICH, POWERFUL,
| |\ x /| | KIND, HANDSOME MAN WILL MARRY ME
| |/\ x /\| |
| | \x/ | | WHAT
| | V | |
/____\ /____\ OKAY FINE
| | | |
/ \ / \ GOTTA MAKE MYSELF PRETTY SO A RICH MAN WILL MARRY ME
| | | |
`~~| |~~' SHEESH OKAY
|\ /|
| \ / | GOTTA MAKE MYSELF PRETTY SO SOMEDAY A MAN WILL MARRY ME
|___V___|
| / \ | JEEZ FINE FINE
| / \ |
|/ \| SOMEDAY A MAN WILL MARRY ME
/ \
/ \ HUHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH GOOD LORD
______/ \_______
============================
Alyssa
MAYBE SOMEDAY A MAN WILL MARRY ME ???///
%
`.---...__
/```.__ ``. I'M A MINISTER IN THE
|```/ `'--.._`. UNIVERSAL LIFE CHURCH
|``| (o).)
\`` \ _,-' `. I.E., A DIPSHIT
\```\ ( ( ` . `.
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jrei '' `-` `'''''''-----......_____
%
____ _
/////|\\
``````\\\ AMY WINEHOUSE SEEMS REALLY GROUNDED AND DOWN-TO-EARTH
`/` )))
\`, (((
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,---/ )),)))
/ , `(( (((
`--. ) `__)) ________
| | ,-./\ \ _,-'
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/ \____`--'____________
| \ Starshine
%
_______________________
=(__ ___ __ _)=
| |
| I'M THE TAKINGS |
| CLAUSE OF THE |
| UNITED STATES |
| CONSTITUTION |
| |
| |
| |
| IGNORE ME |
|__ ___ __ ___|KCK
=(_______________________)=
%
.------. .------.
.' //`. .' `. CONSIDER NATIONALIZING MY BALLS
/ // \ / \
| // : | ......:::::
: // | :::::'''''' |
\ // / \ /
`._// _.' `._ _.' AsH
`"----"' `"----"'
%
_ \|/ FOLKS I INVENTED A NEW TERM IN THE BLOGOSPHERE
-c/,=<< ) \ CALLED "TO FISK"
( / < ) |
// "( _/ IT MEANS "TO GO THROUGH AN ARTICLE AND RESPOND
//_,___,/-' `\_ TO IT POINT BY POINT AND LINE BY LINE LIKE EVERY
(___| me \`\ SHITHEAD HAS BEEN DOING ON USENET SINCE 1982"
'--) \--
( ) \
\=(===)==/\ \
| >>(8\=
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| / \ \
| / \ \
| \ \ \
|___\ \____\
( ) ( ) miK
%
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/ // ___ `' ,._ \\___.
/ // _/_/_]=== :* _:=-- ,. ___. _((|_L]_
_/ //_.(_(_)(_).. `' --=: *: ======((|_L]_ _/(__(\_ _)\_
/____\_\ cjr `.... `' (__(____)
I TRIED A NEW COMPUTER GAME CALLED CULTURE WARS

AND AS IT TURNS OUT IT REALLY REALLY SUCKED
%
_
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_ .=. (_)
(_) _ //(`)_
//`\/ |\ 0`\\ SCURVY
||-.\_|_/.-||
)/ |_____| \( _
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0.__.\ /.__.0 I HAS IT
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.-""""-.
|== ==|-. I'D LIKE TO HAVE A SERIOUS NATIONAL DISCUSSION
|~~ ~~~|`\\ ABOUT HEALTHCARE:
|LILILI| ||
| |//
| |/
| | GGHLGHLGBHAULGALHGAULLUHGAUHGLABHBHGULBH DIARRHEA
jgs __|______|__
[____________]
%
) I WAS GOING TO GO TO A TEA PARTY BUT THEN I REALIZED
( THEY WEREN'T GOING TO BRING ANY TEA FOR US TO DRINK
)
_.-~(~-. AND THAT'S JUST DARNED INCONSIDERATE
(@\`---'/.
(' `._.' `)
`-..___..-'
niki
%
| | _.-7
|\.-.| ( ,(_
| a a| \\ \, WITH A NAME LIKE
) ["|| _.--' \ \\ BATMANGHELIDJH
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| l {~~} ,_\ '.'. ` __.' )\
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, ,; ; ;; ; ; ; LIONIZE THE LION THE LIONIZE THE
, ; '; ; ;; .-''\ ; ; LION THE LIONIZE THE LION THE
, ; ;` ; ,; . / /8b \ ; ; LIONIZE THE LION THE LIONIZE THE
`; ; .;' ;,\8 | ; ; LION THE LIONIZE THE LION THE
` ;/ / `_ ; ;; ; ; ; LIONIZE THE LION THE LIONIZE THE
|/.' /9) ; ; ` ; ; ; LION THE LIONIZE THE LION THE
,/' ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; LIONIZE THE LION THE LIONIZE THE
/_ ; ; ` ; ; LION THE LIONIZE THE LION THE
`?8P" . ; ; ; ; ; ; ;; LIONIZE THE LION THE LIONIZE THE
| ; .:: ` ;; ; ; ` ; ; LION THE LIONIZE THE LION THE
`' `--._ ;; ;; ; ; ; ; LIONIZE THE LION THE LIONIZE THE
`-..__..--'' ; ; ;; ; ; ; LION THE LIONIZE THE LION THE
fL ; ; ; ; ; ; LIONIZE THE LION THE LIONIZE THE
%
_____
/~/~ ~\ PLEASE DO NOT SPEAK ILL OF THE DEAD
| | \
\ \ \
\ \ \
--\ \ .\''
--==\ \ ,,i!!i, AND BY THAT OF COURSE I'M REFERRING TO MY BONER
''"'',,}{,,
%
/////. ' /.) \ \ |\\\\ `
//////\ / /`-- \ |\\\\
THE SPRING SUN KISSES ///////\_.' / `.\ `. |\\\\
INTIMATELY YOUR FACE ////// _/ `. / `' \ `
PENIS PENIS PENIS ///// .' `-./ \
///|__ | \ _\
/mv/ / /.' `.-----. \__.-` .
| |o o |`. )/ |
%
__ AURAL SEX TURNED OUT TO BE NOT AT ALL LIKE WHAT I WAS HOPING
/,-
||) IN THE FUTURE I'M GOING TO MAKE WOMEN WRITE OUT THE WORD BEFORE
\\_, ) I COMMIT TO ANYTHING
`--'
ejm FOOL ME ONCE, SHAME ON YOU
FOOL ME TWICE, WHAMMO, A STRAP-ON DILDO TO THE EAR

%
____
______ ___.' o `.
/~----,\___/,--. ,_ |
Zeus `-----' `---'` \
I'M A HAPPY SPERM
%
((),).
))) 6(6 MOLESTING VIOLET FROM THE INCREDIBLES
((c` _e/
)))'(
((( , \
)\ \ _o___,-
( )\.__,-._\ I MEAN WAIT WHAT WHO SAID THAT
/ -/ \ |(
___( /_)\ \ _____ _____
'.__,' \_\ -
joris
%
,,,,,
\ e e\
C _\/ |\\, HENRY KISSINGER'S OLD
)\_) \_ /
_/|/_ _// PASS IT ON
,'\ ~ /'-,_/ \
/ \_/ / /
, | \_._,-"
( < _'
| \ \
', -',-~.-'
_/ ) |
|// | '
' ) |
| | |
._., - |.,_ //
_\-' )___|__|_ '-._
b'ger /____\__\
%
IF SOMEONE USES THE WORD STAYCATION THEN THEY IMMEDIATELY GET THIS
__________ __,___/ ",",

___.--" "\'. ____/ l \ ",'-,
------f" // \\\ \ (l\ \ \ \ \",
| ||| / u | \ \ \
| ||| _ ) / | | \
----L_-XXX-. .|' / U < | | |
"\ -<_____/// \ 6 ) | | |
\___) -" '. -.<" / / |
|'.___ | _._." /
| ./ _."." _."
/ |"----" _."
jjs \
%
,%/7\\`
(/// .\\)
(((( - ))) CHECKING PERIODICALLY TO SEE IF
((|)_*_/((( MONIQUE ALEXANDER IS NO LONGER BORING
))(/) (\((|)
((((\___/))(\
/ ,-) (-. \
( ( ( _ _ ) ) )
\ \ )^ ^ ^( / /
) y y (
\( )/
\_______/
\ / /
y /
( '
\ \
\ y-._ NOPE, GOPHER GOES BACK IN THE HOLE FOR ANOTHER YEAR
hjw |\,' X-'
_,T-) /
(__,-%_/
%
_________________________
|| || || ||
|| ||, , ,|| ||
|| (||/|/(\||/ ||
|| ||| _'_`||| || I HOPE O.J.'S OKAY
|| || o o || ||
|| (|| - `||) ||
|| || = || || (NOTE: THIS IS NOT AN ACCURATE DEPICTION
ScS || ||\___/|| || OF ORENTHAL JAMES SIMPSON, OUR APOLOGIES)
||___||) , (||___||
/||---||-\_/-||---||\
/ ||--_||_____||_--|| \
(_(||)-| S123-45 |-(||)_)
%
_
/;:`.
______ _,-'._,'
_,--''' `'-._,-'_,-' `'
,' ` - .,_ __,-' ),-'
( __|-`' . _,'/ A REMAKE OF CHOPLIFTER ????????//
`--...'___,..--' /
/ _/,-'_,-'
(`---'' _,-' |_,- FINALLY I CAN KILL THE PEOPLE I'M
`----''|_,--' ACTUALLY SUPPOSED TO RESCUE AGAIN
jrei -' _,-'
%
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO PRETTY SURE THAT IF YOU HAVE THE SAME
_P_ _9_ BIRTHDAY AS A PORNSTAR THEN YOU OWN HER
//---\\ ( ) //---\\
(( )) T (( ))
\\___// | \\___//
'---' |E dwb '---' SO LOOK OUT LANA SANDS AND LINDA FRIDAY
%
_.---._
.-' `-.
.'_____________`.
/| .-'!`-. |\ WELL MAYBE IF MS. TEQUILA WEREN'T SO
/ | .' / \ `. | \ BORING SHE WOULDN'T HAVE GOTTEN CHOKED
J | / / \ \ | L
| |J /-----\ L| |
F || /| |\ || J
| |J / | | \ F| |
J | <--`-----'--> | F
\ | `. .' | /
\|____`-._.-'____|/
`. .'
VK `-._ _.-'
"""""
%
_____
_.'_____`._
.'.-' 12 `-.`. IT'S 9/9/9 !!!!1111
/,' 11 1 `.\
// 10 / 2 \\
;; / ::
|| 9 ----O 3 ||
:: ;;
\\ 8 4 //
\`. 7 5 ,'/
'.`-.__6__.-'.' I'M MAKING A BIG DEAL ABOUT THIS
((-._____.-)) BECAUSE I DON'T FUCKING UNDERSTAND CALENDARS
_)) ((_
'--'SSt '--'
%
.----------. I'M OUTRAGED

/ .-. .-. \
/ | | | | \ YOU MIGHT EVEN SAY I'M OUTRAGEOUSLY OUTRAGED
\ `-' `-' _/
/\ .--. / | PURPOSE EVEN TRULY TRULY TRULY OUTRAGED ?!?!?!
\ | / / / /
/ | `--' /\ \ CAN WE ALL STOP USING THE WORDS "OUTRAGE" AND
JD /`-------' \ \ "OUTRAGEOUS" BECAUSE IT'S REALLY OUTRAGING ME
%
.----.
===(_)== EVERYONE HAS A RIGHT TO HEALTHCARE !!!!!
// 6 6 \\
( 7 )
\ '--' /
\_ ._/ BUT NO RIGHT TO FOOD, WATER AND SHELTER
__) (__
/"`/`\`V/`\`\
/ \ `Y _/_ \
/ [DR]\_ |/ / /\ SO I'M NOT SURE WHERE I'M GOING WITH THIS
| ( \/ / / /
\ \ \ /
\ `-/` _.`
jgs `=. `=./ EITHER WAY I SHOULD HAVE A RIGHT TO FREE BLOWJOBS
`"`
%
.-.
/ /
/. / IF BOLOGNE, ITALY CAN BE PRONOUNCED "BALONEY" THEN
) /c\/ WHY CAN'T COLOGNE, GERMANY BE PRONOUNCED "COLONSCOPY"
( /'\/
) / /
( / /
) / /
( /. /
.`.'.Pru
%
..
__..-'||'-..__
..__..-' || `-..__..
||`-..__ __..-'|| TENSOR ?!?!?!?!? I BARELY KNOW HER
|| `-..__..__..-' ||
||`-..__ ||' __..-'||
|| `-..__||__..-' || THAT JOKE ONLY WORKS BECAUSE NO ONE
||`-..__ || __..-'|| REALLY UNDERSTAND WHAT A TENSOR IS
|| `-..__||__..-' ||
||`-..__ || __..-'||
|| `-..__||__..-' || YEAH OKAY FINE THE JOKE DOESN'T WORK
''`-..__ || __..-'''
LGB `-..__||__..-'
''
%
.-.
(/^\)
(\ /) I'M A PORN STARLET THAT APPEARS AFTER THE
.-'-. "BEHIND THE SCENES" CLIPS BECAUSE
/(_I_)\ I'M THE ONE NO ONE REALLY WANTED
\\) (//
/ \
\ | /
\|/
/|\
\|/
jgs /Y\
%
/######\
/##########\
/ \###/ \
/ \#/ \
/\| |/\
| | \ ==\ /== / | |
\| \<|>\ /<|>/ |/ /|
\__ | - \ - | /#|
\#\ | | | /###|
\##\ | \| | /#####|
\###\ | _______ | /######|
\####\ | / \/ \/ \|/#######|
|######\| |#########|
|########\______/##########|
|#########\ /##########/
|##########\ |#########/\
/###########\/########/###\
/################\######/########\
/##################\###/###########\
/###################\#/##############\
/####################/#################\
/###################/####################\ VW
CAN WE AS A SPECIES FINALLY BE DONE

WITH VAMPIRE STORIES WHICH ARE ALL
ABOUT AS GOOD AS THIS SHITTY ASCII ART
LOOK IT'S JUST AN IDEA

%
______
| O | HOW DARE PEOPLE PUT CAPTCHAS ON PORN SITES
| ,|._ | I WAS SCRAPING WITH PASSWORDS I FOUND FOR FREE
| À _|__ ON THE INTERNET
|__|\_\ \ O
\ ._|.) I MEAN WHAT KIND OF TRAVESTY IS THIS
\___A
_|_ |\ SSt
%
,---. .--.
( . ) ( . )
`/--___ __`--`. WAS U2 EVER NOT BORING
,. _'| |___||___| _|`. AND IF SO CAN WE CHANGE
(-./_,|-,,' `.' |\ ` ALL THE HISTORY BOOKS
__`-`-'|// `:. \,|' AND RECORDS SO THAT
-- - --- |\ | ||| ` | | PEOPLE FORGET ABOUT THEM
-- | \ _|_|\\ jrei / | ASAP
- _ \ \ ,-'-.`._____,',-'-.
______________ `[]\ .\____________________
|`.____________`. || \`| .::' ._
| |_''_o_o__o =.| || \|_________________
| | ,--. ,--. : _ ||
| |( () ) ( () )|: \`::') --- __ I WOULD ALSO ACCEPT
`.|_`-_'___`-_'_|`. / :: \ THE USE OF A TIME TRAVEL
- _ - : \___:/ _ - - MACHINE TO DO THE JOB
`--..___) NICE AND CLEAN
%
_ _
.nNNNNNn. .nNNNNNn.
/NNNNN(#\N\_/NNNNN(#\N\
|NNNNNNN\#)N|NNNNNNN\#)N| YOU CAN'T HAVE A HARDON
\NNNNNNNNN/N\NNNNNNNNN/ WITHOUT HADRONS (TRUE STORY)
"*NNNNN*"NNN"*NNNNN*"
"\NNNNNNNNN/"
"*NNNNN*"
Ojosh!ro '98 "
%
+------------------+
| ___ |
| _ (,~ | _ | Q: WHAT'S BETTER THAN KILLING NAZIS
| (____/ |____) |
| ||||| ||||| | A: FUCK IF I KNOW BUT MAKIN' 'EM EXTRA-EVIL
| ||||| ||||| | SUPERNATURAL MAGIC-USING NAZIS IS A
| |||||\ /||||| | DAMN GOOD START
| |||'//\/\\`||| |
| |' m' /\ `m `| |
| /||\ |
\_ _/
`-----92-KSR-'
%
.##. __________________________
|::| | |oooooo
(<>) L_Y_Y_Y_Y_Y_Y_Y_Y_YL______
.JL,_. | |oooooo
||} { ))| H |oooooo
_______Y_//_)__(_((L_h_Y__Hh_h_h_h_h__L______
Y--------///()))----------------------------
| "(("^//"`
| \\(( BRISTOL, LENINGRAD, CHUNGKING, LONDON, MOSCOW, WASHINGTON
| ))
| //\\_ TOGETHER WILL ANNIHILATE HITLERISM
kg ~' ~
%
,,,,,
\ e e\
C _\/ |\\, PETER, PAUL AND MARY ???
)\_) \_ / MORE LIKE OLD, OLD AND OLD
_/|/_ _//
,'\ ~ /'-,_/ \
/ \_/ / /
, | \_._,-"
( < _'
| \ \
', -',-~.-'
_/ ) |
|// | '
' ) | NEXT TIME COME UP WITH A CATCHIER NAME
| | |
._., - |.,_ // LOSERS
_\-' )___|__|_ '-._
b'ger /____\__\
%
____(==O______,_ .- ~ _
ad )__.-^-|_|''` `-.~ `
HEY NAZIS RAT TAT TAT TAT TAT
GREAT ASSAULT RIFLE TAT TAT TAT TAT TAT TAT
THE FIRST ONE EVER IN FACT TAT TAT TAT TAT
I LOVE USING IT AGAINST YOU TAT TAT TAT TAT TAT TAT
%
_ _
//\ /\\
// \______ / \\ I GOT A JOB WASHING THE WINDOWS
// / \ \\ OF THE PAJAMAS TV VIRTUAL SET
// / \ \\
// / sSSSs \ \\
//_ / sSSSsSs \ _\\
//`_\ Ss. . s /_,\\
// \` Ss\ _ /Ss , / \\
// / \ \sSs_) (_sSs/ / \ \\
// / \_|_ \ / _|_/ \ \\
\\ / sS\ _^_ /ss \ //
\\/ ) ( \//
`==========================='
drx/ejm
%
. eer
.d$"
-"$$$$$P
."$$$$P
.J*$$F. WHY CAN'T BRITISH PEOPLE PRONOUNCE ENGLISH CORRECTLY
. . ^ $$$$$r
-*$$$r ^**C$$b
$ed$$$$" *$$$b.
*$$$$$F $$$$$
J*$$$$F zee$$$$$P
-J$$$$$$ ^$$$$$$$$$$b
^"*"" 4*$$$$$$$$$$*"
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"
%
| | ------------\ ,---. /------------ | |
| | ---------. `-./ "\.-' .--------- | |
| ,--. | --------\ . /-------- | ,--. |
| ( >< ) | ------`-.| .-'------ | ( >< ) |
| `--' | ---/ `/"\ \--- | `--' |
| . | `//_-_\\' Ojo 98 | |
| : . ! | (.' ',) | . : . :|
| ! ! .| | | : | ! .|
| |_| ;|_| . |_| !_| !|
`-' `-^' \o `-' `-^'
\__________________T>_________________/
`-=--=--=--=--=--=---=--=--=--=--=--=-'
] _] _] _] _] _] _L] _] _] _] _] _] _
`-------------------------------------'
ù---u---u---u---u---u---u---u---u---u'
I DON'T REALLY THINK THAT NATHAN LANE AND MATTHEW BRODERICK

SUCKING EACH OTHERS' COCKS ON STAGE REALLY HAS ANYTHING TO
DO EITHER WITH PRODUCING OR THE THIRD REICH
OKAY MAYBE THE LATTER A LITTLE BIT BUT STILL

%
______
,-' ; ! `-.
/ : ! : . \
|_ ; __: ; | WHEN GOD CLOSES A DOOR, HE SURE MEANS IT
)| . :)(. ! | AND YOU SHOULD STAY FUCKING PUT
|" (##) _ |
| : ;`' (_) (
| : : . |
)_ ! , ; ; |
|| . . : : |
|" . | : . |
|mt-2_;----.___|
%
.--.
{c. .o} BRAD PITT SURE HAS COME A LONG WAY SINCE COOL WORLD
_ \ !_c) _
\` , `--' /
\/ \ /\/
| (
/ )
/ |/
\) \)
ejm -- _-
%
,%%%.
% 1 % PROGRESS THRU PROCESSORS /
`%%%'
( ( HELP END MALARIA /
) )
( ( AND OTHER NON SEQUITURS
)' )
(/ \/ apc
%
_____
/~/~ ~\
| | \ COULD KEITH OLBERMANN AND GLENN BECK JUST
\ \ \ FINALLY GET IT OVER WITH AND FUCK EACH OTHER
\ \ \ IN THE ASS AND DIE OF MUTUAL-FAGGOT AIDS
--\ \ .\''
--==\ \ ,,i!!i,
''"'',,}{,,
%
,--.!,
__/ -*- IF GOD DIDN'T WANT THEM TO BE TERRORISTS THEN
,d08b. '|` HE WOULDN'T HAVE FORCED THEM TO EAT MASHED UP
0088MM CHICK PEAS
`9MMP'
hjm
%
_ _
/ )%.===.%( \
| // ,,, \\ |
\/ \/6.6\/ \/ .===. FINALLY WOODY ALLEN WEIGHED IN ON
/\ ( _ ) /\ / ,,, \ THE ROMAN POLANSKI ARREST
^^ /()-()\ ^^ ( /6.6\ )
/ /o o\ \ )( _ )(
(._\ Y /_.) (_/;---;\_)
(O_`&`_O) / `"*"` \
/ / \ \ ( (_.@._) )
/ ()/^$) \ /'._\|/_.'\
/. . . . . . .\ /. . . . . .\ BECAUSE OBVIOUSLY WHEN IT COMES
`"`"`|`|`|`"`"` `"`"|"|"|"`"` TO BEING INAPPROPRIATE WITH
jgs _|_|_|_ _|_|_|_ YOUNGER WOMEN HE SURE KNOWS HIS STUFF
(___|___) (___|___)
%
.:.
+-+ ### | |
\--+ +-________) (_______________________________| o|
_____/===%====/======------------------------------------!\
______________/ / //! ||||||||||||| (%) ================ ====== ! X
'______________! ! !!! ||||||||||||||| ._================_.. ====== -- ! X
\\\\\\\ o||XX|||XX||o||_! o { o } |===----------!M|
""""""\_!_!_|_!_!_!!!/ !________!-------___X____________ !-.
| "X ||__| |. ^\\ o |
| | / |! || \\ |
| /""|!!! |" || |
"----" |!!!!! ". || |
|!!+-+!!| | |
|!!|:|!!| | |
I FEEL CHEATED, RAPED, POSSIBLY SOILED `--+-+--" `-"
|%%#|
OKAY CHECK THAT |%%#|
|%%#|
DEFINITELY SOILED |%%#|
|#%#|
|###|
|###|
+---+
%
_
/$ _
_ / / (/\
/\) ( Y) \ \
/ / "" (Y )
( Y) _ ""
"" (/\ _
\ \ /\)
(Y ) / /
"" ( Y)
"" Krogg
ONE OF THESE WIENERS IS NOT LIKE THE OTHERS
HINT: IT'S THE ONE THAT'S RAPING YOU RIGHT NOW

%
'-. WHAT DO YOU MEAN THE ARSENIO HALL SHOW GOT CANCELLED
'-. _____
.-._ | '.
: .. | :
'-._+ | .-'
/ \ .'i--i
/ \ .-'_/____\___
.-' : fsc:
%
_ /
ejm _\ </>
`.\ {)~ THIS IS NOT A HULA HOOP AS YOU PROMISED
.-`\`%.
( /,\\% \`.
`</> \%%<\> )
~ ` ----- '
%
,--.
\ _\_ I JUST FLEW IN FROM OUT OF TIME AND
_\/_|_\____.'\ BOY ARE MY ARMS TIRED FROM BEATING OFF
-(___.--._____(
\ \
jg \ \
`--'
%
, // ,,/ ,.// ,/ ,// / /, // ,/, /, // ,/,
/, // ,/,_|_// ,/ ,, ,/, // ,/ /, //, /,/ BEHOLD
/, /,.-' '-. ,// ////, // ,/,/, // ///
, ,/,/ \ // ,,///, // ,/,/, // , A
,/ , ^^^^^|^^^^^ ,// /// /,,/,/, ///, //
/ // | O , // ,/, //, ///, // ,/ GOD
,/ ,, J\/|\_ |+'(` , |) ^ ||\|||\|/` |
/,/ | || ,)// |\/-\|| ||| |\] . WHO
/ /,, /| . , ///, . /, // ,//, /
, / ejm \ \ ). //, ,( ,/,/, // ,/, PEES
%
(X) - I'M A TENSOR PRODUCT !!!!!! EXPAND MY INDICES AND FUCK MY BROWN ASS
tQn
%
______
(__ __)
mbfh ||
/__\
\
\ I LIKE TO USE THE SO-CALLED PHRASE "SO-CALLED"
\
\
|
%
/\
{.-} WE'D LIKE TO GIVE THIS SEASHELL THE NOBEL PEACE PRIZE
;_.-'\ FOR BEING SO DARN CUTE AND SHELLY
{ _.}_
\.-' / `,
\ | /
\ | ,/
jgs \|_/
%
.
|
| YOU ARE LEAVING THE AMERICAN SECTOR
|
#
(=)
H
H
H
H
H
H
M
M
/ \
%
I WISH MY FIRST NAME WERE PLAXICO
a'! _,,_ a'! _,,_ a'! _,,_ a'! _,,_

\\_/ \ \\_/ \ \\_/ \ \\_/ \.-,
\, /-( /'-, \, /-( /'-,\, /-( /'-, \, /-( /
//\ //\\ //\ //\\ //\ //\\ //\ //\\jrei
%
I HAVE ACHIEVED LIGHT WEAPONS 4
_ ________, ,________ _
>`(==(----' '----)==)`<
(__/~~` `~~\__) lbm
%
_..--.._ _..--. _..--..
,' ,'`. ,','.--.\ ,' \ `.`.
/ / / /| : : / _ \: |\ \ \ \
/ : : /`. | |:<o \o; ,`\ \ : \
/ '__ '| :,.-' ;'\: _`'/`.`--,: : __' \
: ,'_ ``' |._) / :\`..__) \ >| ,'' _``. \
| ,;, . `:\ _: | `,/_\. :`/;' , .:\ )
`'/' _ \ \:\( _|__`>_/`' /(:/ / .\`
/: .' ,`.._|_\\' ( _=`;._//_|_..'` \\
:: / '| (__=`, :`||| `,.__) \ :
| \ \`.\\__\;|| //`|/ : |
| `.._____.-,`'| \\___||// /`-._ |
: | : ,<''_\\,.|//_`>. :`._ ;:
\ ; ; )`-..______..-'( :\ `-.__.' /
; / /|: : | `.._____.':
: _.' / || | | `. :
: _.-' / :: ; : `-.____;
\; ,' ( \ / )\ /
,' ,'____,' ,`-,.______..-') (__\ _`.
(___..'>_>____`.`.'._)_\_>._)-' ,'___`._________) SSt
WICCAN POWERS ACTIVATE !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11111111111
FORM OF .................. THREE LONELY GOTH GIRLS

%
,
_cc,
'.())(((c
(((((()(c
'(((('_ _' IS MYTHBUSTER KARI BYRON'S SON MINE
`((( \ BECAUSE IF NOT I THINK I'LL HAVE TO
(`\ - MAKE AN ADJUSTMENT TO THIS SITUATION
' ) ( __
_.-' ' `.
/ , -' \
L ` .
\ / ` |
`c ) c ) J
.\__. `---': |
\__ \, | L
/`\\\> L |
/ / J
L c ' /
\ / /\
\-.__.' .' .
|`-___.'
: `8P /
: .' / I'LL KNOCK UP THAT FUCKER TORY
` / .' AND SHOW HER WHAT SHE COULD HAVE HAD
a:f / .'
. .'
L ' WAIT WHAT
\` `
%
./==\
/~~~~~\V ./ / ||
(-_=====) ./ / ||
( -=====\ ./ ./ /| \
( ( )= ./ (./ / | \
) ) _/ ./ ./ / | |\
,__(__ ( ( ___/ ./ / | | \
( L:\\ -v-\ / @@@/@@@@ @@@\@@@
/ /\L:\\VV KK\/ (@@@/OO@@@@)@@@OO\@@@)
/ / |L:\\vKKxx) @/@@@@@@ @@@@@\@
<c < \LL:KKxxX/
\ \ \KKxxXX/
\ \ |=====/
\ \ /mltggll\
) ) |mltgglll\
())) mmltgglll\
_\\___WWWWWWWWW)
<==\\==>MM#@#!!!|
\\ MM#@#!!:!/
\\ MM#@#!!!|
M\\ M#@#!!:\
MM\\ @#!!:!|
<<:\\ @#:::/
><<<:\/#|||| WELP JUST GOT UP IT'S TIME TO LOG INTO TWITTER
<>>>:@@#___\ AND LET EVERYONE KNOW WHAT'S ON MY MIND !!!!111
DS \/~oO/ )Ooo
+--------------------------------------------------------------------+
| [JUSTICIA] HMMM WHAT'S FOR BREAKFAST #CUNT #CUNT #CUNT #CUNT #CUNT |
| |
| 17 MINUTES AGO VIA WEB |
+--------------------------------------------------------------------+
%
___ __
(_ ( . ) )__ '. \ : / .'
'(___(_____) __ '. \ : / .'
/. _\ '. \ : / .'
.--.|/_/__ -----____ _ _____-----
_______________''.--o/___ \_______________(_)___________
~ /.'o|_o '.| ~ ~ ~
~ |/ |_| ~' ~
' ~ |_| ~ ~ ~ ~
~ ~ |_|O ~ ~
~ ___|_||_____ ~ ~ ~
~ ~ .'':. .|_|A:. ..::''.
/:. .:::|_|.\ .:. :.:\ ~
~ :..:. .:. .::..: .: ..:. ~ ~ ~
\.: .: :. .: ..:: .lcf/
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
ARCHIPELAGO IS A COOL-SOUNDING WORD !!!!!!11 PASS IT ON

%
emmmmmm~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~\ I CAN'T QUIT YOU
""""""|_____ )
"""""""""--------""" (SO I MUST CUT YOU)
Elijah
%
__
," ".
_ .---. _ /# \ I TRIED OUT A SIMPLE BALOON RIDE
,' `. ,' `.." ". ,--. HOAX AND ALL I GOT WAS CHARGED
|# `/ # (# ) / )
`. | ) (`.__/ /
`. \ ( )/'/ /
`.\ /) (( / /
`. .'( )y /
>_<\ `._.'( /
/ ) /'-`.->,-'
( ( ( ( NO T-SHIRT OR ANYTHING !!!!!!
) ) ) hjw THIS SUCKS
(
%
%%%%%% %%%%%%%%
%%%%% ,, %%%%%%%%%%%%%%%% IF YOU REALLY LOVE SOMETHING,
(< ?%%%%%%%%%%% FUCK IT OUT BUT GOOD AS PUNISHMENT
~ %
___ //___
/ |
'/ (* )( *) | ',
################## b'ger
""""""""""""""""""
%
._-'-_ .
. ' /_-_-_\ ` .
.' |-_-_-_-| `. WHY IS THIS SLAC COLLOQUIUM PRESENTER
ejm ( `.-_-_-.' ) ON GRAND-UNIFIED THEORIES GOING ON
!`. .'! ABOUT MEXICAN HATS
! ` . . ' !
! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! !
/ / \ \
_-| \___ ___/ /-_
(_ )__\_)\(_/__( _)
))))\X\ ((((
\/ \/
%
.----.
| \./''\
\. |\ HEY EVERYBODY I'M GOING TO CREATE A NEW MEME !!!!111
\\===-_____..'\
/.--. \ READY ?!?!?!?!?!
| \ .--. |
| _ \|/ )| PTHOTHTTHATHLTHLTHHTGHGHGHTHT DIARRHEA !!!1111
`.__`-----._0/.'
(__ . . __) SPREAD IT AROUND
) ------ (
(_.------._) dlK
| |
%
_,
^(o.).__. BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH AUTISM
/ , o o)
/ ù-u',._/ SHUT THE FUCK UP ALREADY RETARDS NOBODY CARES
( _\ \ `|-|
----`.__)------| |-------
`-' Ojo98
%
__
sjw / \
.-. | | JOHN LENNON NEEDS BULLETS
* _.-' \ \__/
\.-' \
/ _/ OH
| _ /"
| /_\'
\ \_/ WELL CARRY ON THEN
""""
%
____
/ ___`\
/| ( ( \ \ IF I WERE KING FOR A DAY I'D BAN
|^v^v V| \ \/) ) ) THE INCLUSION OF ANY AND ALL
\ ____ / \_/ / / "BEHIND THE SCENES" CLIPS IN PORN
,Y` `, / /
|| - -) { }
\\ _\ | | |
\\ / _`\_ / /
/ | ~ | ``\ _|_|
,-` \ | \ \ ,//(_}
/ | | | \/ \| |
| | | | ' ,\ \
| | \ / /\ _/` | |
\ | | | | `` | | LESS FILLER MORE FLUFFER PEOPLE
| \ \ | | | |
| | |/ | / /
| | | | |
%
.-'"""`-. AWWW YEAH FUCKING A ROOMBA
( )
|`-.___.-'| WELL MORE ACCURATELY CHASING IT AROUND THE HOUSE
| | WITH A BONER AND A MEAT CLEAVER
`-.___.-'
tQn
%
)
( (
) ))) FINALLY !!!!!! TBS HAS DEMONSTRATED ITSELF TO BE
((((( THE ONLY NON-RACIST TELEVISION NETWORK SINCE
( )))))) THEY FINALLY HIRED GEORGE LOPEZ
)((((((
((,````))
:(.)(.): BECAUSE CLEARLY RACISM IS THE ONLY REASON ANYONE
( \\\ ) WOULD EVER FIRE GEORGE LOPEZ
(,\\\\
`.|||||
\ | I.E. IT WASN'T THAT HE SUCKED ROYALLY OR ANYTHING
) /
ejm /\ /
/ \ NOPE NOT AT ALL NUH UH
/
%
:
;;
/ |
/ |
.' : PLEASE READ
.-' ' MY FAG FAQ
_.-' /
.-*" / \ _
.-' .' \ _.-*?'
.' .' \ .-" .' __
.' , .-' .-+. .' _.-*".'
/ \ .-' _.--**""**-. .-' _.y-:-" .'
: `+. .*""*. `. :-. -. \ .'
; .--*""*--. / __ ` _.--. \ |$| -.` -.;/ _.-+.
: .' :*" "*..*" y`-' $| ;*" _(
\ / +----/ / .'.-'---+ .-._.+' `. -'_.--. :- "_(
`*-: | \/\/\/ | /) ` .'___ ' "_(
; `._| | \ )` .'.' `./_" (
: \| | (`._..--**" : .- ; `"'
\ | | `----**"T"" " `+. |
`. | | ' .' :
_.-*"*- | | / / '
.-*" _ | | __..-'\ / bug
"+,'___..--| |--**"" `-.__.'
"" +----------------+
%
%%%% WIENERS
%%%%%%%%
%%%%%% %%% /
%%% % % /
% % /
%%% %
%%%%%% %%%
%%%%%%%%%%%%%%
%%%% %%%%%%% %%%
%%%% %%%%%% %%%
%%% %%%%%%%%%%
%%%%%%%%%%%
%%%%%%%%%
%%%%%%%%
%%%%%%%
%%%%%%
%%% %%%
%%%% %%%%
%%% %%% LOOK FOLKS THEY CAN'T ALL BE FUNNY
%% %%
%% %% OKAY FINE ALMOST NONE OF THEM ARE
b'ger %%%% %%% LEAVE ME ALONE I'M DEPRESSED
%%% %%%
%
__
, ," e`--o
(( ( | __,' \
\\~----------------' \_;/
hjw ( / I'M A SHITTER NOT A FIGHTER
/) ._______________. )
(( ( (( (
``-' ``-'
%
.-'''/.\
(_.--' |
| == |
o-._ .--..--. _.-o I WANNA KNOW WHAT LOVE IS /
| || | I WANT YOU TO BLOW ME
;--|`--:
|. | |
| ;_ .|
|_____ |
/| '|\
//`----'\\
////| | \\
/ | | \
/| |\
/ \ / \
/ \/ \
/ \
| |
|| /\ ||
|| , . || dlK
%
__.--~~.,-.__
`~-._.-(`-.__`-. I CANNOT TELL A LIE
\ `~~`
.--./ \
/# \ \.--.
\ / /# \
jgs '--' \ / I TOTALLY FUCKED THAT CHERRY TREE INSIDE OUT
'--'
%
/|
|\| WHY IS THERE LOTS OF FANTASY
||| FICTION AVAILABLE ENTIRELY
||| FOR FREE ON THE KINDLE ????
|||
|||
|||
|||
~-[{o}]-~
|/|
___ |/|
///~` |\\_ `0' =\\\\ . .
, |=' ,))\_| ~-_ _) \ _/_/|
/ ,' ,;(((((( ~ \ `~~~\-~-_ /~ (_/\
/' -~/~)))))))'\_ _/' \_ /' D |
( (((((( ~-/ ~-/ ~-; / \--_
~~--| ))'' ') ` `~~\_ \ )
: (_ ~\ , /~~- ./
\ \_ )--__ /(_/) | ) )|
___ |_ \__/~-__ ~~ ,' /,_;, __--( _/ |
//~~\`\ /' ~~~----| ~~~~~~~~' \- ((~~ __-~ |
((() `\`\_(_ _-~~-\ ``~~ ~~~~~~ \_ /
))) ~----' / \ ) )
( ;`~--' : _- ,;;(
| `\ | _-~ ,;;;;)
| /'`\ ; _-~ _/
/~ / | ) /;;;'' ,;;:-~
| / / | / |;;' ,''
/ / | \\| | ,;( TX
_/ /' \ \_) .---__\_ \,--._______
( )|' (~-_| (;;' ;;;~~~/' `;;| `;;;\
) `\_ |-_;;--__ ~~~----__/' /'_______/
`----' ( `~--_ ~~~;;------------~~~~~ ;;;'_/'
`~~~~~~~~'~~~-----....___;;;____---~~
OH RIGHT BECAUSE IT SUCKS

%
...
.::':::'::. I THINK WHAT THE VIEW NEEDS IS MORE VAGINAS
.:' .' : '. ':. BECAUSE LORD KNOWS IT ISN'T TWATTY ENOUGH
::--:--:--:--::
:-._ ':. '. : .' .:' _.-:
: "-._'':.:::.:''_.-" :
: "-._'''_.-" :
: ._ "-" _. :
: : "-._ _.-" : :
: : ": :" : :
'-.-' : : '-.-'
: : I MEANT CATTY SORRY IT ISN'T CATTY ENOUGH
grp '-.-'
%
OOH BABY I LOVE YOUR WAY /
NOT EVERY FUCKING DAY THOUGH
/
/
_ _
(") (")
_T_ O )Y(
/\_/\/ /(_)\
|.H. \oV(/
O| | (`/ )
H H Y /
] | [ (\)
(_|_) |_!'
%
PLEASE DON'T RAPE ME
\ , __
\ \`\\"._ _,
\ / _ |||;._/ )
_/@ @ /// | (
( (`__, ,`\|
'.\_/ |\_.'
jgs `""```
%
....
.' ,:
.' \.___.. I DIDN'T ASK YOU TO SUCK MY DICK
.' .-' _.' JUST TO HEAR MYSELF TALK
'.\ \/...-''`\
:.' / \ :
: () () /
(_ . '--' ': .':
/ |_'-- .' .'.'
\ \ .'_\ .'.'
.|__ \/_/: .'.'
/ :\.',;'
.' -./ .'{\|))
'. ',_,-.',;'--:
/ '../_ \,;'_.'
:. ,''-'-' \
\'.' / \..':
.' /.-. :
'. / \ |''\
'./--: / \._
snd \. '.'._.___:
'...'
%
_..--+~/@-~--.
_-=~ ( . "}
_-~ _.--=.\ \""""
_~ _- \ \_\
= _= '--'
' = .
: : ____ '=_. ___
___ | ; ____ '~--.~.
; ; _____ } |
___= \ ___ __ __..-...__ ___/__/__
: =_ _.-~~ ~~--.__
_____ \ ~-+-~ ___~=_______ rm
~@#~~ == ...______ __ ___ _--~~--_
WHILE ASCII ART FARTS TAKES A SHORT BREAK WE'LL LET OUR
NEW FRIEND FROM THE JURASSIC ENTERTAIN YOU: PEPPY THE PLESIOSAUR
BACK TOMORROW FOLKS
OKAY PEPPY STOP HUMPING THE AUDIENCE DOWN BOY DOWN

%
\|/
-o- |
/|\ ( )_
| /\ | |
(_) | | __ | ||-| |-[]| \|/ \|
___|___ _| |____ | (_)_ _( )_|[]| __(_)_|| | |_~(|)~~(|
(_)__)__|_| []|[] |_(_)_ |[]|_|_[]__|__| __| |[]|__| | []|___|_|____|
| |__| [] | |[] | | | | | [] | | | | | |||_| [][] | KG
MAYBE THEY SHOULD RENAME THEIR CITY "ISLAMAGOOD"
PERHAPS PEOPLE WOULD ACTUALLY GO THERE
AND THEN THEY COULD CUT THEIR HEADS OFF !!!!!!11

SEE IT'D BE THE PERFECT TRAP
%
_"_ %
(< ?
` " HEY XENI JARDIN
__||___
|\___//_\ NICE NAME AND FACE
(' | ') \\
__|\ , / |/
/: / \ ::
\| ######o /|
######## \)
########
\ : /
\: /
--
%%% PSYCH (TWICE)
%%
%
/:\
|/|, b'ger
%
,--. ,--.
((O ))--((O ))
,'_`--'____`--'_`.
_: ____________ :_
| | ||::::::::::|| | |
| | ||::::::::::|| | | SUPPORT NON-HUMAN RIGHTS !!!!!!!!!!!1
| | ||::::::::::|| | |
|_| |/__________\| |_| INTELLIGENT ROBOTS ARE PEOPLE TOO
|________________| EVEN THOUGH THAT DOESN'T REALLY MAKE
__..-' `-..__ SENSE AND THERE AREN'T EVEN ANY YET
.-| : .----------------. : |-.
,\ || | |\______________/| | || /.
/`.\:| | || __ __ __ || | |;/,'\
:`-._\;.| || '--''--''--' || |,:/_.-':
| : | || .----------. || | : |
| | | || '----SSt---' || | | |
| | | || _ _ _ || | | |
:,--.; | || (_) (_) (_) || | :,--.;
(`-'|) | ||______________|| | (|`-')
`--' | |/______________\| | `--'
|____________________|
`.________________,'
(_______)(_______)
(_______)(_______)
(_______)(_______) I FEEL IT'S MY DUTY AS A USELESS FUCKWAD
(_______)(_______) TO WORRY ABOUT SHIT THAT ISN'T EVEN REAL
| || |
'--------''--------'
%
/\ ,
{Oo\{o\ .=.
{o: \:.\ / \ HEY FOLKS CHECK IT OUT IT'S TINKERBELL
{O:' \:.-'_.-\_)____
{o:. /`~('-./-----.\
}o: // /| `/\
{O:'// /-' /\/\
}o-/( <___ \'/ /\/\/\
/o./ ;--._)====* -\/\/\/
`"`\ \ /.\ `""`
\ \
\ \
jgs /`\ )
|/| | YEAH I'D TOTALLY DO HER
_// \|
| / || (SHE'D FIT UP MY ASS NICELY)
|/ / |
`\|
'
%
z
z
Z
.--. Z Z
/ _(c\ .-. __
| / / '-; \'-'` `\______
\_\/'/ __/ ) / ) | \--,
| \`""`__-/ .'--/ /--------\ \
\\` ///-\/ / /---;-. '-'
jgs (________\ \
'-'
WELCOME TO THE UNITED STATES OF NOT GIVING A SHIT
%
,--. ,--. I WAS GOING TO MATRICULATE BUT I DIDN'T HAVE ENOUGH MONEY
( O ) ( O )
`--' \ `--' THEN I TRIED TO MASTICATE BUT I WAS TOO TIRED
\ _
>-. / /|
`-.__.' SO INSTEAD I'LL JUST MASTURBATE
Krogg
%
Q @
_|/_ SERIOUSLY IF MY GUT WERE A SYMPHONY
\_|_/ /( )_\ IT WOULD BE BEETHOVEN'S LAST SHITSTORM
|_|_| ;/_)_(_
|, _( )_
ejm96 /|\ / | \
' '
%
______
_ _ __...----~~~~~ _
// ___...--- ~~~ \\ . // \|/
__..--_// ~~~ . _\\ . \\_ .
//\\\ \|/. //\\\ ///\\ .
//-\-\\ //-/-\\ //-/-\\
//\_-_/\\ //\_-_/\\ . //\_-_/\\
. /\ @ /\ /\\_//\ /\\_//\ .
/\ \_/ /\ /\ \O/ /\ /\.\=/./\
/__\_\_/__\ . /__\_\_/__\ /__\_\_/__\
/___________\ /___________\ /___________\ .
( _____/:_) ) ( _______/:_)) ((_:\_______ )
\_(_:\______/ \_(_:\______/ \______/:_)_/ \|/
(
. ) /( ( ( . .
/\ . )\ )\ /( /\ /\
/=/ $/ _\/ /( \=\ /=/ .
. /=/___ ()__)/ /(__() . \=\/=/
/=/////\\ (_) __\=|/
\_\////_(_ ////(_)\ .
////// _\ . _)_\\\\\\\
\///(. _\ /_ .)\\\\\
. (:) | _\ __ __/___o/\\\\\\_ .
___(:) ' \___ .__/\/\___/_/ / \\\\\\\
/ (:) \ \ / /(*)(*)(*)(*\\\\\\\
/ _ (:) _ \ / / | _ _ _ _ \\\\\\
/ / \__ __/ \ \/ / |/_\/_\/_\/_\/_\/_|
( \ | |__\ / . \_/\_/\_/\_/\_/\/ .
\ \| | \_/ |/_\/_\/_\/_\/_\|
\ |_______|/ \ |\_/\_/\_/\_/\_/|
. \/ \ / . / jro\ .
/ \ / /(*)(*)(*)(*)(*)(*)(\
\___________// . \___________________/
. \|/ . . .
ONE LITTLE TWO LITTLE THREE LITTLE NATIVE AMERICANS
WAIT THERE'S A FOURTH AND A FIFTH OH FUCK IT

PASS OVER THE PEACE PIPE
%
_._ AN ASPIE DATING SITE ?!?!?!? GREAT
/_)\\
b-)^_^(-d TRYING TO IMAGINE AN ASPIE DATE
\,-./
Ojo `-' ALL I GET IS TWO PEOPLE SITTING AROUND IGNORING EACH OTHER
%
,/((\\.
.////(((\(. CHECK OUT WEARECOLORBLIND.COM
-/'`''')\\\\'
`( _ _ `\$\
// / ?(\)
L\ `__ //(\
\ `. ($
\ `) _(($.
_____/==='" \$-.
.' .-=_ )\ \
: /| $\ . ` \
L L\ L_\ \
\ | \ /`"- .
___a:f___________ | | /`--(_ | ________
| |(\ `--.____.'-.
\ _ | \\ _.---.. .__ `-.
/` / ) )-'/ `\ \
J F / ( ( `--. |
| | L | \ `-. )
| | | \ `_ ` `.__ ..___.--.
_.) _ J_`-. `-, `--. ` \ `"` ` )
__.--' _/ \ ``-----`-._ `-. ____.---'
_______/` /''--') )__________ `--. `.--. _____
/ - | / .-' ``-. \
`-.____.__| L ( `-. \
|`- \ `'. `-.
| L +=-.__ `-___)
\ \ )- )
`-._ \' _/ FOLLOWED IMMEDIATELY AND
``-- `---' SWIFTLY BY TOUGHSH.IT
YES FOLKS I'LL BASH ANYBODY

AND/OR EVERYBODY
%
\\\\\\//
\\\ \ I APPROVE OF STERNUTATION
\\ <oo)
\\C \
\\ __\
jgs / _\':.
/ _\'..:. :.
/ ': : : : :.
: ' :: : :.
. : ' .
%
______________ _____________
!/ ........... (_ _) ........... \!
|.' '. (_!_) .' '.| YOU'D THINK BY CUM STAINED
.' '.....' '. CASTING COUCH #10 OR SO
: : THEY'D HAVE LEARNED TO
: : PUT SOME PLASTIC DOWN ON
: : THE DAMN THING TO HELP
.' '.....................................' '. WITH THE CLEANUPS
.' .' '. '.
@'.' '.'@
\'...........................................'/
|___________________________________________|
( /| |\ )
) |_| |_| (
| | | |
| | | |lc
(__| |__)
%
_ _ _ _ _
| | / / | | / / / /
| |/ / | | / /__ / /__ KISS IS GOING TO BE IN TOWN !?!?!?!?!?
| / | | /__ / /__ /
| \ | | / / / /
| |\ \ | | / / / / FSHKL JFKDSHKL SDHKLF SFKL SHFLKDHFKSH
|_| \_\ |_| /_/ /_/
tre
%
?
.-^-._. TO HAVE YOUR OWN WINDOWS 7 RELEASE PARTY
^~| |
( ) ( ) YOU AND YOUR FRIENDS SHOULD GET TOGETHER,
: : INSTALL WINDOWS 7 ON YOUR MACHINES, AND THEN
' : READ THE ROMAN POLANSKI GRAND JURY TRANSCRIPTS ALOUD
a:f `.:.-,;.`
%
_,---.
(/_/))))
\c e_e) . MILFS ARE SLOWLY MORPHING INTO WMAIDWTF
\ = ) _|
,-` -(_ |o| (WOMEN MY AGE I DON'T WANT TO FUCK)
/ `-'\\ |#{)
/__| ._ _)y /
< \ (\_/
`.\ ____\
,>>> |
.==T=T==.__|
| | /
| |\
|_______| \
/ /\ \
/ ,' `. \
/ / \ \
<\_\_ \ \
`---` (_`-\_
`---' hjw
%
_____
______/ \______
______/ \______
___/ \___
___/ _________ \___
__/ ______/ \___ \__
/ ____/ / _ \
_/ ___/_ / / \___ \_
/ _/'-, `---._ / / \_ \
/ ______/(0} `, , ` , ) / / \_ \
/ V ; ` , ` ( / / ,'~~~~~~`, \
| `.____,- ' (, ` , ) / / :`,-'""`. "; |
| `-------._); , ` `, / / \;: )``: |
/ / ) ) ; ` ,, : / / `` : '; \
/ / ( (`;: ; ` ;:\ / / ;;;, \
| / (: )``;:;;)`'`'`--./ / ____ _,-';;` |
| | :` )`;)`)`' : / / ~~~~~ ~~~`--',.;;;| |
| | `--;~~~~~ ` / /, " " "` ",, \ ;`` | |
| | ( ; , / / ; `; ; | |
| | (; ; ; ` / / ,` ` : | ><
| | (; / / / ` ; ; : |
| \ ;(_; ; : / /` ; ; ,,,""";} `; / ><
\ \ : `; `; ` / /,;,'''' );;`); ; / >< ><
\ | ;' :; ;/ / (;` :( ; , ; | ><
| | |, `;; ,/ / `)`; `(; ` `; | (`\
| \ ; ;; ``: / `).:` \;, `. / _> )_
\ \_ ,-' ;`;;:;` / ;;'`;; `) )/ ,-' ,-. `;
\ \_ ~~~,-`;`;," / ~~~~~ ,-' ; `""/ /""
\_ \___"""/"" / `""/"" `-"
\ \_/ / ____/^^^ /
\__ /__ ______/ __/
\___ \_________/ ___/
\___ ___/
\______ ______/
Targon (/) \______ ______/
\_____/
CECI N'EST PAS UNE POOP

%
<\ /> "MARSIKA HARGITAY" SURE LOOKS LIKE SOME
\\ .-. // KIND OF A WORD JUMBLE GAME OR SOMETHING
VK \\_/___\_//
.-/\\ //\-.
( / )`-.-'( \ )
_____Y_.' `._Y______
%
_,,,_
.' `'.
/ ____ \ OH YEAH !?!?!?! WHAT IF GOD IS A **WOMAN** ?!?!?!?
| .'_ _\/
/ ) a a| WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOA HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEY
/ ( > |
( ) ._ / HOW PROFOUND IS THAT ????/ MAKES YOU THINK HUH
) _/-.__.'`\
( .-'`-. \__ ) HURF DURF STUFFED HEAD-FIRST INTO A TOILET
`/ `-./ `.
| \ \ \
jgs | \ \ \ \
|\ `. / / \
%
____
__,-~~/~ `---.
_/_,---( , )
__ / < / ) \___
- ------===;;;'====------------------===;;;===----- - -
\/ ~"~"~"~"~"~\~"~)~"/
(_ ( \ ( > \)
\_( _ < >_>'
~ `-i' ::>|--"
I;|.|.|
<|i::|i|`.
BM (` ^'"`-' ")
BE SURE TO SEE TRANSFORMERS: REVENGE OF THE EXPLODY

%
_
/.\ tap tap tap
Y \
/ "L tap tap tap
// "/
===|/ /\_=== tap tap tap
/ / stop it
/ / tap tap tap
\/ stop it
tap tap tap
STOP IT
tap tap tap
YOU HAVE TO STOP IT
tap tap tap
STOP IT !!!!!!!!!11 STOP IT
YOU'RE GOING TO HURT YOUR BEAK

tap tap tap
%
_/\|\_\_ EVER HAVE A DREAM THAT YOU FOUND AND KILLED A
_| .- \___ DINOSAUR AND KEPT ITS ROTTING CORPSE AROUND
________\ / ) oò_ TOO LONG SO YOU COULD CUT IT OPEN
</ ) _/_ )-.___/ AND FUCK THE HOLES ?!?!?!?!?!
[nabis] / /\( (/
| (__`'` '`
'--.) WELL ME NEITHER LET'S CHANGE THE SUBJECT
%
_
, L\
\/OO\ MORE LIKE CARMELLA BORING AM I RIGHT FOLKS
|/ \
/_\ `
AP _\ |_
%
_ _.-'`-._ _
;.'________'.;
_________n.[____________].n_________
|""_""_""_""||==||==||==||""_""_""_""]
|"""""""""""||..||..||..||"""""""""""|
|.. .. .. ..||..||..||..||.. .. .. ..|
,,;;,;;;,;;;,;;;,;;;,;;;,;;;,;;,;;;,;;;,;;,,
;;jgs;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;
WHOA
WHOA
***WHOA***
WE ELECTED A BLACK PRESIDENT ?!?!?!?
HOW DID I MISS THIS WASN'T THERE NEWS ABOUT IT SOMEWHERE OR SOMETHING
%
,--. _
,-%*--;_)
(___,/))) Q: WHAT'S THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN
((c a( TRANSEXUAL AND INTERSEX ???????
(()) c/
,- (
/ \._> =._@
/ ,/ ) |\|
/ -'--._,-_-|_|-.
\ ____,._,/-._,-'
&)===(
.8! .
:8! |
|8! |
|8! |
|8\____|
!ôooooo
) ))
, || A: HOW LONG IT'LL TAKE US TO GET RID OF THEM
( ||
. ||
) ||
(\._\\
gpyy\(\_\\
%
______________________
|,----.,----.,----.,--.\ ALL ABOARD THE SPACE BUS TO JUPITER !!!!!
|| || || || \\
|`----'`----'|----||----\`. GAS / BONK / ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ
[ | -||- __|(|
[ ,--. |____||.--. | 100,000 YEARS LATER !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
=-(( `))-----------(( `))==
jrei`--' `--' ZZZZZZZZZZZZZ
%
__,_____ LET'S GO TO A CONFERENCE FOR BRIGHTS !!!!!!!!!!!
hjw / __.==--"
/#(-' (PUTS GUN IN MOUTH)
`-'
%
.
* . . . DUST THOU ART
. (*.) . * .
. ( .(.. ) ) AND UNTO DUST
. .( (..* ).*) .
( * . ). .) . SHALT THOU
. ( (. *.) .
. . * FFFFFFFFUUUUUUUU
.* . Keely
%
itz -_
`-;-_ ,--.__
`-;-/. ,/\-`. BLAH FUCKING BLAH BHOPAL BLAH BLAH FUCKING BLAH
_//"\\ l'/Y=|
/'-? \\ `;\-|
,' ;/ \\ \|;
./' ;' \\ \(
,-" _;' \\ `
,-'_;-" \
"'
%
_ ____ __
/ \ .' '. ____......------""""""""````` `\
| `::-/'-....-'\--""``` |
| :: | | |
| ,:'-\.-''''-./--..___ /
jgs \_/ '.____.' ````````````"""""""------------'
WHY DON'T YOU COME TO MY ETHER FROLIC ??!?!?!?!?!
NEVER MIND THE BASEBALL BAT I WON'T HIT YOU WITH IT
NOT THAT HARD ANYWAY
OH COME ON JUST COME ANYWAY

%
__ __
__\_\___ ___/_/__
/_______ \___ ___/\_______\
\_\ \/__/\_____/\__\/ /_/
\/_____\/ __
\o | o/_____ ________________/\_\
\ | /_______\_______________\/
\_/ / b'ger |
/\ _ | AUTHORS USING COMIC SANS IN
/ /\_________/ |__| THEIR SERIOUS PHYSICS
/ / / / PAPERS/PRESENTATIONS SHOULD
/_/ /_/ GET SOME SORT OF MEDAL
\ \ \ \ OR SOMETHING
\ \ \_\
\_\ /_/
/_/ |_|
%
______________________________________________________
__________|___________,_______________________________
__________|__________//,______________________________
__________|__________\|/;..___________________________
__________|___________\\//\,._________________________
__________|___________/ '\/_________________________
__________|__________/,* _ |_________________________
__________|_________( ) ( ) (_________________________
__________|__________\( " \________________________
__________|____________) \\______________________
__________|___________( \\\___________________
__________|____________\ ( \\ \\\_________________
__________|____________(\ \\ \\ \\\_______________
__________|_____________\\ \\ \\ \\\_____________
__________|______________\\ \\ \\ \\____________
__________|_______________\\ \\ \\ \\___________
__________|________________\-\ \\\ \\\\___________
__________|_________________\ /\_ \\\ \\___________
__________|__________________(( \-___- \\\__________
__________|___________________\ \_______ \\\_________
__________|____________________\ \_______ \\\________
__________|_____________________\ \________\\\_______
__________|______________________\ \________\\\______
__________|_______________________\ \________\\______
__________|________________________(--)_______________
__________|___________________________________________
__________|___________________________________________
bni
COULD WE JUST FUCKING CUT OFF MARTIN SHORT'S

LEGS SO HE CAN'T DO THAT STUPID FUCKING DANCE ANYMORE
COME ON PEOPLE: YES WE CAN

%
________ .==. DEAR PORNOGRAPHER,
jgs [________>c((_ )
'==' I WAS WITH YOU UP TO AND INCLUDING
WHEN YOU JIZZED ON THE WHORE'S FACE
BUT I LOST YOU AFTER YOU MADE HER
SCOOP IT UP WITH A SPOON (PICTURED LEFT)
AND PUT IT IN HER MOUTH AND THEN
BRUSH HER TEETH WITH IT
SIGNED, PLANET EARTH

%
__
| \ _ I'M NOT UNEMPLOYED I'M *FUN*EMPLOYED
==='=='== (o>
\++/ / ) (GUN GOES IN MOUTH)
__.-------------^^-.__
\----. : .----/
\_/\| ()
/ _ \ _ \/()
/ /|\ \ |/| | \/
snd _/_/ | \_\_ | |//
/_/ | \_\ \_\|
%
A
_,-' `-._ ANCIENT CHINESE SECRET !!!!!!!!!
_-'_________`-_
``---\_ _/---`` INVOKE THE FOURTEENTH AMENDMENT
(_ - _)
\_._/ 8
__H__ 8
\ | / 8
|\ | /| 8
_|_|||_|_8
`-,/ \,-'8.
| | `8<
| |
|-,-| (IT WORKS FOR ANYTHING)
gnv'-'-'
%
____________________
_]| | | | | |[_
_]|==|==|==|==|==|[_ I'LL TAKE WHAT FAGGOTS DO FOR $200, ALEC
_]|_ _ | | | |[_
_]|_|_[ | | | |[_
_]|_|_[ | | | |[_
_]| | | | | |[_
_]| | | | | |[_
_]|==|==|==|==|==|[_
_]| | |.-|--| |[_
_]| | | `. | |[_
_]| | | |`.| |[_
_]| | | | |`.|[_
_]| | | | | |[_ OH JESUS OH JESUS HOLY SHIT CAN I TAKE IT BACK
_]|==|==|==|==|==|[_
_]|__|__|__|__|__|[_ LGB
%
.
`"SSSSSSSSs. `"Ss. `"Ss. KOREANS ARE BANGABLE IF YOU
.s S' ss' ss' DUMP ENOUGH SOY SAUCE ON THEM
SS ssssssssss
`$SSSSSSSSSSSs. ss ss
.oOOOOOOo. "SssssssS'
.O' Ò. `$SSSSSSSSSSSSs.
o; ;o `SS WELL EXCEPT FOR LUCY LEE OBVIOUSLY
ò o' S'
ÒooooooO' ' NOTHING CAN FIX HER
%
.__ .-".
(o\"\ | | I'M 2 LEGIT 2 SHIT
\_\ | |
_.---:_ |
("-..-" /
"-.-" /
/ |
"--" AsH
%
*
* ,,,
____()() } INDEPENDENCE DAY 2 TO BE MADE ????
======= (
\\ \ FUCK THAT I'M HOLDING OUT FOR HOWARD THE DUCK 2
\\____===.
______) ( )\(____
/ ___/ \ [%]__ \
//|| // \ ||\\
|| ||__^^^ ^^^___|| ||
ejm97 ||/____\_/----\_/_____\||
| ____________________ ||
|| || || ||
|| || || ||
|| || || ||
|| ||
%
+-----------------------------------------------------------------------------+
| | |\ -~ / \ / |
|~~__ | \ | \/ /\ /|
| -- | \ | / \ / \ / |
| |~_| \ \___|/ \/ / |
|--__ | -- |\________________________________/~~\~~| / \ / \ |
| |~~--__ |~_|____|____|____|____|____|____|/ / \/|\ / \/ \/|
| | |~--_|__|____|____|____|____|____|_/ /| |/ \ / \ / |
|___|______|__|_||____|____|____|____|____|__[]/_|----| \/ \ / |
| \mmmm : | _|___|____|____|____|____|____|___| /\| / \ / \ |
| B :_--~~ |_|____|____|____|____|____|____| | |\/ \ / \ |
| __--P : | / / / | \ / \ /\|
|~~ | : | / ~~~ | \ / \ / |
| | |/ .-. | /\ \ / |
| | / | | |/ \ /\ |
| | / | | -_ \ / \ |
+-----------------------------------------------------------------------------+
| | /| | | 2 3 4 | /~~~~~\ | /| |_| .... ......... |
| | ~|~ | % | | | ~J~ | | ~|~ % |_| .... ......... |
+-----------------------------------------------------------------------------+
BM
CONSOLE GAMERS WOULDN'T KNOW A GOOD FPS

IF IT CAME UP BEHIND THEM AND RAPED THEM
SEE THAT'S EXTRA FUNNY BECAUSE THEY WOULDN'T BE ABLE

TO TURN AROUND FAST ENOUGH TO PREVENT IT
DUE TO THE SHITTY FUCKING GAMEPAD
GO ON INSISTING HALO DIDN'T SUCK, NO ONE BELIEVES YOU

%
uuu uuu I WENT TO FORT DIX AND IT WAS KIND OF DISAPPOINTING
uuu|=====uuu |
| |======| |'|
| | .==. | | |
|___|##|___|/ (PS)
%
__________
|DAILY NEWS| CHECK OUT MY WIENER !!!!!!11 BELOW THE FOLD
|&&& ======|
|=== ======|
|=== == %%$|
|[_] ======|
|=== ===!##|
ejm97 |__________| (FAT FOLDS)
%
`, WHAT YOU SAY ?!?!? A POETRY READING BY
' ')# USELESS DORKS WITH AN OPEN MIC ?????
|/ ?
| o )\ I KNOW !!!!!1 I'LL BRING LASSIE (MY SHOTGUN)
/__/\ \____
/ \_/ \
/ < _____ _> \
------/___/ ,___/___\---------
/ |\/ | b'ger
\ /_______|
' WHAT'S THAT LASSIE ?!?!?!/ A USELESS TURD NEEDS
SHOOTIN' ?!?!?!?// SHOW ME BOY !!!!!!!!!!!!!111
%
/\ /\
//\\_//\\ ____
\_ _/ / /
/ * * \ /^^^] HEY
\_\O/_/ [ ]
/ \_ [ / WHICH ONE OF YOU FUCKERS
\ \_ / / TOOK A SHIT IN MY FOXHOLE
[ [ / \/ _/
_[ [ \ /_/
TV
%
. .
. . . . .
+. _____ . . + . .
. . ,-~" "~-. +
,^ ___ ^. + . . .
/ .^ ^. \ . _ .
Y l o ! Y . __CL\H--.
. l_ `.___.' _,[ L__/_\H' \\--_- +
|^~"-----------""~ ^| + __L_(=): ]-_ _-- -
+ . ! ! . T__\ /H. //---- - .
. \ / ~^-H--'
^. .^ . " +.
"-.._____.,-" . .
+ . . + .
+ . + .
. . . -Row
.
COULD THE DALAI LAMA JUST GET IT OVER WITH AND SUCK A DICK
(PRETTY SURE THAT'S ALMOST A DIRECT QUOTE FROM STAR WARS)

%
,------|
[] | STAY GREEN !!!!!!1 DON'T SHOWER
!! |
! , |
_,~,\ |
\)))/ |
((((, |
) ( |
(( \ | HOW ABOUT FUCK AND YOU
|/` \ |
(| (/ | FLUSHING THE TOILET EXTRA OUT OF SPITE
ejm98 -_ -_ _|_
%
________________
/ o /| HEY I'VE GOT A WINNER OF AN IDEA
/_______________/o|
| o | | LET'S MAKE A BLOG ABOUT RECENT HASHTAGS
| o | / USED ON TWITTER !!!!!!!!!!!!!!1
ejm |________________|/
RECYCLING DOGSHIT INTO EVEN LESS PALATABLE
DOGSHIT AND THEN SHITTING ON OUR OWN FACES
AND PRETENDING THERE'S NO SHIT ANYWHERE
%
\ / \ / \ / \ / \ /
-----///----///----///----///----///---
PP / \ / \ / \ / \ / \
TAKE MY WIFE -- PLEASE
oh god please
%
. " -.
' .
. ( .
() .'
`. `|,.
|"|
( | MERRY CHRISTMAS
|\|
| )
( |
|\| _
.\|, _ | ) _.->J
->J|/, . \""-""/Vl/z
'-tX|b|\|\~\k\~yJr/'
'^-j/PZ=\R>p/T|'
._-sFK)/|'"
_-zH|/|
--%/| | itz
'/| |
_M_
,'"_ "`.
/ (_) \ ASSHOLES
; .:
| .|
: .:;
\ `._ .:/
`._ ..:;'
"""
%
..
66 | PLEASE DON'T FUCK ME OUT
.-'` ::
.'o .: '.
: | .`:`: :
`:``.` .``
:`` `:
:` .`:
.` `:`:
: `.`.
.` o\-ò : :
` `
%
_______
___________________________.'.------`
'---------------------------.'
`. .'
.-//`. .'
.' .//.'/`================'
=[=:====:=]= \\||
'. `--' .' LGB \_|
`- -'
CECI NE PAS UNE WHEELBARROW

%
|\', \.
.' \\| \'.
__| |~ \ : LA LA LA
/\ \_. \ /\ : |
\ \| \ \/ \ / / DON'T KNOW WHAT THESE TWO SYMBOLS MEAN
\/ \ \/\ '._.' / NEXT TO EACH OTHER
/\ \ '.___.'
/ /\ \ WHOOPS ANOTHER 100+ MILLION DEAD OUR BAD
/ / \ \
/ / \ \
\/ DB \/
%
O .
_/|\_-O
___|_______
/ | \ AVOID MISSING BALL FOR HIGH SCORE.
/ | \
#################
/ _ ( )| \
/ ( ) | | \
/ \ |_/ | \
/____\/|____|___________\
| | |
| / \ |
| / \ |drx
_/ /_
%
^
< >
| | WHOO HOO HERE WE GO !!!!!!!!!
| |
| |
" | ^ | "
| || | | || |
| || ( ) || |
|_|| "_" ||_| ON THE WAY TO THE SURFACE OF THE SUN
| ||/"_"\|| |
|_|/ "_" \|_|
| / "_" _\ |
|<___"|"___>|
| | ^^^ | |
/_\ /_\
/|||\ """ /|||\
/|||||\ /|||||\ JD
%
_,^^. _,-',
`. `. __ _,-',-'
\ (_ `,,-' MILLARD FILLMORE 2012
`-...-'\
jrei _;_; .-.
%
.------. .------.
.' //`. .' `. IT'S THE ATTACK OF MY BALLS
/ // \ / \
| // : | ......:::::
: // | :::::'''''' |
\ // / \ / (ARGUABLY THE WORST 50S MONSTER
`._// _.' `._ _.' MOVIE EVER)
AsH `"----"' `"----"'
(OKAY NOT AS BAD AS PLAN 9 FROM
OUTER SPACE BECAUSE AT LEAST
THERE WERE BALLS)
%
`/\
____/ / OKAY FACEBOOK THE MORE YOU SHOW ME
_ / ___ \ ADS FOR "MATURE VIP SINGLES"
\\_!_________(_/_/ \ \ THE MORE DEPRESSED I GET
<#|=====|______ / /__/
/ C|=====|---' \__/
/ |-|-|~
/ /---'
/ /
|_____| jiri
///"\
|6 6|
\ - / PEOPLE WHO USE "SHE" OR "HER" AS GENERIC PRONOUNS
.@@@. __) (__ OR, WORSE YET, TO MAKE A SMARMY LITTLE POINT ABOUT
@6 6@/ \./ \ SEXISM NEED TO BE BEATEN INTO A COMA ONLY TO RECOVER
@ = @ : : : \ SLOWLY AND PAINFULLY (HEY I'M NOTHING IF NOT MERCIFUL)
_) (_'| : |) )
/' \./ '\ : |_/
/ /\ _ /\ \=o==|)
\ \ ) (/ /%|%%'
'7/ \7%%|%%'
| |`%%|%%'
| |`%%|%%'
| | %%|%%
|_.._| /_|_\
pjb
%
\ /
\ /
| . |
|----------| HOW OFTEN DO YOU SHIT YOUR PANTS?
|--. .--|
| \__/ | [ ] ONCE A WEEK
| || |
| || | [ ] ONCE A DAY
_|__ || __|_
( '-++-' ) [ ] TWICE A DAY
( - .. . )
( _ -/\ . - ) [ ] MORE OFTEN THAN TWICE A DAY
(. _ )( __ )
(____)(____) (NO WRITE-INS ALLOWED)
.----` || '----.
(_________)(____rs___)
%
,, ",
- c I REALLY SHOULD GO TO A MEDITATION RETREAT
`-|\.
/ `\ NOT TO MEDITATE MYSELF MIND YOU (FUCK THAT SHIT) BUT RATHER
(/ |_\ TO CUT THE HEADS OFF OF PASSIVE FUCKFACE DIPSHIT
|__, | WHO WOULD DO THAT KIND OF DIPSHIT FAGGY NEW AGE CRAP
| |
| | YOU REALLY SHOULD TRY IT IT'S SURPRISINGLY RELAXING
/___|
b'ger ===
%
_
_ _ _ _ _ _ | |
/| |\ |\ |\ / |\ |_|
|___| _ _ _ | \ | _ / | _ _ ,_ _
| | / | | \ | \ / | | \ | /_\ / / | \___|//_\ / | | ` / \
\| |/\_|/|_/_/|_/_/\_| \| \| \__/\_\_| /| \__/\_|/| \_/
' | | /| ` ( |
| | \| \|
. `:
: : .
: .
[""]
| |
| |
| |
: .'--`.
_..-~-.._ : .: /`.__.'\
.' `. : . / \
.' .-'''''-. `. ,-'``'-. ; ;
/ ,' XII `. \ |`-..-'| | ,--. |
/ / /|\ \ \ | . :| |_.','`.`._|
| ; | ; | | . : | |--'1997`--|
| |IX o III| | |`-..-'| || | | | |
| ; ; | \::::::/ ||)|/|)|)|\|
| \ / | `::::' |._ ~**~ _.|
------| `. V I ,' |----)(----| `-..-' |-------
_____j `-.....-' | )( | |,--.
____/ / /\\ ,-._.--------.-.-' ,-')('-. | |\`;/
.-()___ : |`.!,-'`'/`-._ (___) ( ' ` )`-._ _.-'|;,|
`-, \_\__\`,-'>-.,-._ `-....-' ```` `--' hjw
`-._ (`- `-._`-.`
WELL IT'S A NEW YEAR AND I'M
GOING TO WRITE IT AS "2K10"
NOT EVEN SAVING A FUCKING
CHARACTER ANYMORE LIKE A CUNTBALL
%
..
"$ber LONDON KEYS IS GOING DOWN / GOING DOWN / GOING DOWN
=3$$c.
czd$$% *$$c.
.e$$$P -ee$$$$..
""" ^"*$$$$$C
"" " *.Gilo94'
%
-. . .-.
' / / ./
_ __, .--' / <
~_-~ / < < \_ .-~7
_. \ > \.-'\ >` ~ .-~
< >< / , 7 < ~7
/_/ ! \ .-L \ _// <'~
~ .-~ ! ! /o& `' . 7
_>_._ > _.-' '-._.-._.--./
'-~ ~._/ .'
,-.-' .-~<
< __/ > -'
\ -~ ___--/
7 .. . /_// \__
! _.-. .. < ~v~ ' \
.-~---' .-.-~ ~\ < \ / | __/
) > o < > \ \_.--._ |O | .__,--_
/ .-' <> \ \ 7 . ' ) / d . _> /.
7 > . - ' > _\ ! _,-' `. \ /.._ .) <
~--,.--' ._ /.- ~` < \ . \ ` |< \ `-.__/
7/ ~ \.,< . ` `-~-.-~ | / \__//.--...<|
__ . ` '-.__\\ - ' '--~|/ PWH
DEAR LATEST ROUND OF PORN STARLETS FLOODING OUT OF EASTERN EUROPE,
I APPRECIATE YOUR EFFORTS BUT I HONESTLY CANNOT FUCKING TELL ANY

OF YOU APART ESPECIALLY WITH YOUR GENERIC FUCKING CHOICE OF NAMES
YOU COULD LEARN A LOT FROM A MATURE PORN INDUSTRY WITH GOOD,
WHOLESOME, DISTINCTIVE PORN STAR NAMES SUCH AS "CUNTESS," "TEASURE
CUNT," "ASIA," "STUPID FUCKING WHORE THAT WOULDN'T GIVE ME THE TIME
OF DAY IF I BUMPED INTO HER ON THE STREET SO THAT'S WHY I HAVE TO
STRANGLE THEM AND HIDE THEIR PARTS IN DIFFERENT TRASH CANS AROUND
THE CITY"
%
/^\ /^\
| \ / |
||\ \../ /||
)' `( LET'S GO SEE DANCES WITH AVATARS
,;`w, ,w';,
;, ) __ ( ,;
; $\/)/ ;;
;| |vwwv| ``-...
; `lwwl' ; ```''-.
;| ; `""' ; ; `.
; , , , |
' ; ;
l . | |
; , , |,-,._| \;
; ; `' ; ' \ `\ \;
| | | | | | |;
| ; ; | \ \ (;
| | | l | | \ |
| | | | pb | | ) |
| | | ; | | | |
; , : , ,_.' | |
:__' | | ,_.'
`--'
%
|
'`---..___ . :
``---.._| '
:`'--..___ |
| . ---..._ : TED: IDEAS WORTH SMEARING
| .' `. |---.
' / _.\|(O)|
| ' .-' =| :
| | .(b /@)() |
| \_\_/ `-. |
: ) -` --'
| .'---,_ `-'| |
| / / )`--' | |
| .' ( \__.. : '
'/____ _ _`.____))| |
|_] [_] | | |
:\ ,' / | :
|_`--- / ._ ,' `--' |
LGB \__\___) |
``---...._|
%
_._
.' `.
| |
"======="
$ ^ ^ $ TOO MANY SECRETS
` # '
`._.'
_.'< ' >'-._
.' \ / '
/ v \
/ . .: . |
. `' .: ` '
: ` :. `. :
:. ` / \ : :
< ) / \ : :
: ` `*=---=* . /
: ) | ' ` ) \`
`.' :; | ( `\-.
\( / |. \ ) ) `
( `-' _Y- `'\'
\ | )\
) : ) \
: . \ ` | \
` , ( : . :' \
\ ` | . \
: | ' ) \
\ : ) .' mb \
.' | | ( a:f \
(__| (__) \
.__.--..' ; | `-..--.--, \
+._____.-=__] [__.--===::-'
%
_
/$ _ OFER
_ / / (/\
/\) ( Y) \ \ JESUS CHRIST WILL YOU FAGGOTS CLEAN UP YOUR COCKS
/ / "" (Y ) AFTER YOU'RE DONE PLAYING WITH THEM I'M TIRED
( Y) _ "" OF FUCKING CLEANING UP AFTER YOU QUEER COCKSUCKERS
"" (/\ _
\ \ /\)
(Y ) / / OKAY FINE
"" ( Y) GET OUT THE FAGGOT BROOM WE GOTTA GET READY FOR COMPANY
Krogg ""
%
___ #
|/ ?
| , )\
/__/\ \____ #####
,- / \_/ \ _/_ ####
/\,_\ |/| / < _____ _> \ [.[.]-=##
) "\ -|.|--/___/ ,___/___\- /_ )#
\ ___Y. _____'-'______|\/______________ |__ #
__)/ [_______________________________] \___/
/) \ | | .'\$/\`-.
/|| .| | _...._ | ( `.Y.' ( )
__;_||__|_______| ,-' '-_ |____|:__o___|_|_
[________________| / \ |________________]
| | | . | |
| | | | | |
| | \ / | |
____| | -_ ,- | |____
| | `-...,-' | |
| | | DP |
|_______________|_____________________________|_______________|
PRETTY SURE ALL YOU NEED TO DO TO PASS THE BAR EXAM IS

TO WATCH THE TACTICS USED IN LAW & ORDER EPISODES
OBJECTION !!!!! ASSUMES FACTS NOT IN EVIDENCE

AND ALSO BANGING CLAIRE
%
______
.-' `-.
.' `.
/ \
; ;`
| / |;
; / / / ;|
'\ / / / / ;
\`. / / .' /
`.`-._____.-' .'
/ /`_____.-'
/ / /
/ / / LEONARD NIMOY'S IN SEARCH OF MY BALLS
/ / /
/ / / NOTE: HE HASN'T FOUND THEM YET (THEY'RE VERY SMALL)
/ / /
/ / / STAY TUNED !!!!!!!!!!!!11111111
/ / /
/ / /
/ / /
BKN \/_/
%
_
, L\ POOR CASSANDRA CRUZ ON LATINA ABUSE
\/OO\
|/ \ WHEN YOU ACTUALLY START CRYING AND THE SLIDER BAR OF THE PORN
/_\ ` VIDEO IS ONLY AT 50% .....................
AP _\ |_
.......... SOMEONE'S GOT A CASE OF THE MONDAYS
%
,,,,,
\ e e\
C _\/ |\\,
)\_) \_ / TIME TO BEAT OFF TO FRED FRIENDLY
_/|/_ _//
,'\ ~ /'-,_/ \ I MEAN FRED ROGERS
/ \_/ / /
, | \_._,-"
( < _'
| \ \ WHATEVER THEY'RE BOTH DEAD ANYWAY
', -',-~.-'
_/ ) |
|// | '
' ) |
| | |
._., - |.,_ //
_\-' )___|__|_ '-._
b'ger /____\__\
%
,-,
,',' `,
,' , ,','
,' ,' ,'
,' ,', ,'
,' , ,,'
,' ,', ,'
,' , , ,'
__,',___','
__,,,,,,,------""""_ __,-"""""_`=--
_..---.____.--'''''''''''_,---' _; --' ___,-'___
,':::::,--.::'''''' ''''''' ___,--' __,-'; __,-"""
;:::::,' |::'' '''' '===)-' __; _,--' ;---''
|:: @,' ;:;\ ''''==== =),--'_,-' ` )) ;
`:::' _;:/ `._=== ===)_,-,-' ` ) ` ; I DON'T KNOW WHAT'S WORSE
| ;--.;:::; ` `-._=_)_.-' ` ` ) /`-._
' `-:. ` ` ` ) ) ,'`-.. \ THE EARTHQUAKE IN HAITI
`:_ ` ` ) _,' | :
`-._ ` _-- _,-' | : OR GIANNA MICHAELS'
`----..\ \' | | RETIREMENT
_\ \ | :
_____ jrei _,--'__,-' : : _______
()___ '-------.....__,'_ --'___________ _,--'--\\-'''' _____
`-------.....______\\______ _________,--._-'---''''
`=='
%
/\
/ \ I'M A METRIC TENSOR
/ _o \
/ <(\ \ TOUCH MY DICK AND DON'T MAKE EYE CONTACT
/ />À \
'----------` Stef
%
. . * . . . . * . . . . . . * . . . .
* . . * . . . * . . * . . . * . . .
. * . . . . . * . . . .-o--. . * .
. . . . . . . * * . :O o O : . .
____ * . . . . . . . . : O. Oo; . .
`. ````.---...___ . * . . . * . `-.O-' . * . .
\_ ; \`.-'```--..__. . . * . . . . .
,'_,-' _,-' ``--._ . * . . . . * . . .
-' ,-' `-._ * . . * . . .
,-' _,-._ ,`-. . . . . . * . .
'--. _ _.._`-. `-._ | `_ . * . . . . . .
; ,' ' _ `._`._ `. `,-'' `-. . . . . . .
,-' \ `;. `. ;` `._ _/\___ `. . * . . *
\ \ , `-' ) `':_ ; \ `. . * . . . *
\ _; ` ,; __; `. . . . . .
'-.; __, ` _,-'-.--''' \-: `. * . . . * .
)`-..---' `---'' \ `. . . . . . . .
.' `. `. ` . * . . .
/ `. `. ` * . .
/ `. `. ' . . *
/ `. `. _'. . . . .
| `._\-' ' . . .
| `.__, \ * . . *. .
| \ \. . .
| \ \ . * jrei *
DEAR VANGELIS,
MORE LIKE ZERO POINT THREE SIX SEVEN

YOU ELECTRONIC GREEK GOATFUCKING HACK
%
.----.
===(_)== FORGET ABOUT HAITI
// 6 6 \\
( 7 )
\ '--' / WHAT ABOUT A MEDICAL FUND FOR AURORA JOLIE'S
\_ ._/ NEWLY-ANOUNCED HEART CONDITION
__) (__
/"`/`\`V/`\`\
/ \ `Y _/_ \
/ [DR]\_ |/ / /\
| ( \/ / / /
\ \ \ /
\ `-/` _.`
jgs `=. `=./ OKAY I KNOW WAY TOO MUCH INFORMATION ABOUT PORNSTARS
`"`
%
___
/ | LOOK JUST BECAUSE JAPANESE FOLKS TEND
,--------' '--------..._,. TO BE SHORTER THAN OTHERS IS NO REASON
( _--+ TO CALL THEM "MIDGET SUBS"
`----------------------''' `'
jrei WHAT
OH
%
.........
.'------.' |
| .-----. | |
| | | | |
__| | | | |;. _______________
/ |*`-----'.|.' `; //
/ `---------' .;' //
/| / .''''////////;' // MATHEMATICA HAS A :-> OPERATOR
|=| .../ ######### /;/ //| WHICH IS EXCELLENT BECAUSE IT
|/ / / ######### // //|| LOOKS LIKE A LITTLE HARD
/ `-----------' // || POINTY DICK AND A SET OF BALLS
/________________________________//| ||
`--------------------------------' | ||
: | || | || |__LL__|| || | ||
: | || | || | || `""'
n | || `""' | ||
M | || | || I ALWAYS KNEW THAT STEPHEN
| || MM | || WOLFRAM WAS A FEISTY ONE
`""' `""'
%
/\.-./~\
(o//o)| \-._ .-"-. DEAR GIANNA MICHAELS,
.~.'~ | | )`-----' \._
(").'/.| | ( /-.\ I CAN PUT ASIDE YOUR RAT FACE BUT
(_/-' \_/ | \ | \\ PLEASE DO NOT LAUGH AS I DO NOT
\ / / ____.-\ / )) LIKE THE SOUND OF BARKING
/\| /_.-' \\ \ ((
// || \\ \ \| GARKING HOWEVER ?!??!?!?!?!?!
\\ ||' // \\
(/ || _// \\ APPROVED (STAMP)
" (_/ (_/ (_/MJP
" " "
%
___
/]_/ I'D REALLY LIKE TO HEAR WHAT WYCLEF JEAN
|\/|.--/'-. HAS TO SAY ABOUT THE HAITIAN EARTHQUAKE
\|/:o / /\ ._,
\_/_.'0/ _|_
\____]] (>[___]=]]]===
/ \___/P{]
__// /----\/
(_[-'\__/_
/ | | \
'=='='=='
____||||___
snd (_""_/ \_""_)
%
, ,
{\ /} MY BALLS ARE A TOSS-UP
{~ \ ,__/~}
{~= ;`'_)=}
`{~,;) \~}
`;/ \)=-"
~~( )/`=="
/))
jgs \\\
``"
%
___
// 7 COULD OLIVER STONE
(_,_/\ LICK HIS OWN DICK (PICTURED LEFT)
\ \ MORE QUIETLY PLEASE
\ \
_\ \__
( \ )
\___\___/ mic
%
THE EC-130 IS LIKE AN AC-130 ONLY WITH IDEAS INSTEAD OF DEATH
_
| \
_| \______________________________________
- ______ ________________ \_`,
-(_______ -= -= USAF )
`--------=============----------------` -JB
- -
- -
` . . - -
.*` .* ;`*,`.,
`, ,`.*.*. *
______________* * ` ^ *_____________________________________
SO BASICALLY IT SUCKS
%
_ _ |-._
- - _ |-._| DEAR NERDS WHO SINCERELY
O (). _ | USE THE WORD "FRAK" FROM
'(_) __|__ BATTLESTAR GALACTICA AS
[__|__|_|_] AN EXPLETIVE:
~~ _|_ _|_ _|_ ~~ ~~~ |__|__|_|
__ | | | ~~ ~~~ |_|__|__| GROW A FUCKING SET AND
HH_|___|___|__.--" ~~~ ~~ /|__|__|_| USE REAL BAD WORDS
|__________.-" ~~~~ ~~~ / |_|__|__|
~ ~~ ~ ~~ ~~ / |_| |___| THANK YOU FOR LISTENING
~~~~ ~~~ ~~~~ ~ ~~ /
jrei
%
_.-----._
_' ' '_
'_____________'
| +_+ |
==--'_D__,'---==.
/ > \_/ < | SYLEENA JOHNSON INSISTS THAT
/ >__\o_| o/ | SHE BELIEVES IN LOVE
| | |_/ , | SO I CAN'T HEAR YOU
\,_____/_) o | | LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA
| o ' o | |
| o | o |_/|
' o | o ' |
| o | o |_/
| o | o |))
| | |
__________| \ |_____________
|___o/ \_____|
| | |
__) >|< (__
(____,_|_,____) b'ger
%
IF I HAVE A KID ON DECEMBER 31ST
_.~._
,~'.~@~.`~.
/ : _..._ : \
{ :,"''\\`".: }
`C) 9 _ 9 (--.._,-"""-.__
( )(@)( ) `.
`-.___.-' \
,' \ / ,` ;`-._,-.
,' ,'/ ,' `---t.,-. \_
,--.,',' ,'----.__\ _( \----'
'///,`,--.,' `-.__.--' `. )
'///,' `-` hjw
CAN I LIST THEM ON MY 1040 OR DO I

HAVE TO PRORATE THEM ??
%
.======.
| INRI | AAAAAAAAAAAAAVE MARIIIIIIIIIIIIIIA
| |
| |
.========' '========.
| _ xxxx _ |
| /_;-.__ / _\ _.-;_\ |
| `-._`'`_/'`.-' |
'========.`\ /`========'
| | / |
|/-.( |
|\_._\ | UNF UNF UNF
| \ \`;|
| > |/| CATECHISM SOUNDS AN AWFUL LOT LIKE FETISHISM
| / // | SO DON'T THINK I WON'T BEAT OFF TO IT
| |// |
| $\ |
| `` |
| |
| |
| |
| |
\\jgs _ _\\| \// |//_ _ \// _
^ `^`^ ^`` `^ ^` ``^^` `^^` `^ `^
%
.__---~~~(~~-_. I'M A FUSIFORM GYRUS
_-' ) -~~- ) _-" )_
( ( `-,_..`.,_--_ '_,)_ MESS ME UP AND WATCH MY HUMAN BE ALL FUCKED UP
( -_) ( -_-~ -_ `, )
(_ -_ _-~-__-~`, ,' )__-'))--___--~~~--__--~~--___--__..
_ ~`_-'( (____;--==,,_))))--___--~~~--__--~~--__----~~~'`=__-~+_-_.
(@) (@) ````` `-_(())_-~ mn
%
|/
\| -<_/ __
\_>- |\ __ .-. / \\'
(\ .-. | \ \|\- _ c ,,) _//
| \_ c ,,) > / \_ \__ (__, _/ /
\ `-.\_/ -/ / \ \- ' /`-._/ )
`-/ ( -/ _/
( / \ ) ( / \ )
'-' `-.a `@_/ `-.@
\ | \ |
| , /\ | , /\
/`-._/ \ /`-._/ \
| _ \ | _ )
/ / \ | / / \ /
| / \ \ / _/ / /
)/ | | // | /
(_/ | / (/ | /
| \ ||
\_) $ S-v
I CAN'T IMAGINE WHY SOMEONE HASN'T ALREADY

MADE THE TWITTER ACCOUNT "LINUXTITS"
IT SEEMS LIKE IT SHOULD BE KIND OF AUTOMATIC DOESN'T IT

%
::: =, ; TODAY I LEARNED THAT MY
;;=;;=== M BALLS ARE LIKE KATAMARI:
,=YVRMBBMMR=, :i=
:iVRRMMMMMMBMMM :=; ==;====== JUST ABSORBING EVERYTHING
=tYMMMMMMBBMMM;=Y ,::;==iMMMMMMMMMM AND BECOMING LARGER AND
;tYVBBMMVMMMM =; .,,,::;;=YVBBMMMMMMMMM MORE POWERFUL FOREVER
:;;:;=;,... .......,,,,,,,,,:;;==Y=tYMMMMMMMM
;.,:,..... ....,,,,,,,,,,,,,:;;;==YYMRMMMMMM;
....... .,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,::;;;=YtVBMMMMM
;t ... .,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,::;;i=RiRMMMMM
,=.. .,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,:::;;=iYBBMM
.,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,::;;;;tVB
:VMM .,,,,,,,,,,,,:,,,::;;=
,;VBM .,,,,,,,,,,,,,:,:: I THINK THAT'S WHAT I
,,== `,,,,,,, LEARNED ANYWAY
WT
%
_ _
| )/ )
\\ |//,' __
(")(_)-"()))=- DONNIE DORKO
(\\
Stef
%
(.,------...__
_.'" `.
.' .' `, `. `. ` WHY IS MATTHEW BRODERICK RANTING
. .' .'/''--...__`. \ INCOHERENTLY ABOUT SHIT ON MSNBC ?????/
. .--.`. ' "-. '. |
'' .' _.' .()) .--":/
''( \_\ ' (()(
''._' ( \ '
' `. `--' ' OH THAT'S RACHEL MADDOW AND SHE'S A WOMAN
`.: . `-.___.' '
`. . _ _ .'
) .____.-' I AM SOOOOOOOO SORRY
.'`. (--..
.' \ /\ / / `.
.' $ \ /|/ `.
.' \__/ `.
/ | o | \
jro | | |
%
_
.--,-"" ""-.
( )
j- __. | I GUESS NOW THAT THE IPAD'S
| ' -'| BEEN ANNOUNCED AND IS BORING
|`--._____,+-.
.';`--.___.' `. AMAZON CAN UNCLENCH ITS BUTTOCKS
.' / _ |
/ ,-' _.-'o;__\
( .' o.-' $`.
`j--..___.' ' / )
(/ _ `-._ `-/`--' ,----.
(.' `--. `. `-._.'`._,-<o ===|
.' \ `. /\`./`. `----'
.' | `' _\,() \
.' ;_) ()___/ \
/ `._____.' | \
\ / =====. \ _ `.
`.____/ / \ __\/() \
.' ( ) ()____/ .'
/ `--- -' |\ .'
`---.___ | `-'
.-`--.________.---'`.
.-' / \
/ .' \
/ _.-'\ |
| `-.____.-' `. ; .-""-.
| | `. ,' |
\ | \ /
`.___.' `. /
hjw \ .'
`.__.'
%
oo
8 "} > @ < USING MY FLESHLIGHT TO WATCH FLESHDANCE
.8 .-._/|
.'_'`')`_.'
\| ) /
(>'/ |_,_
| (,|
.' ,'\|
`._/ )
\| '`-
-- ''-- --- VK/ejm
%
. .
+ : . THIS IS THE YEAR WE MAKE CONTACT
: _
. ! ' (_)
,|.'
- -- ---(-O-`--- -- -
,`|'`.
, ! .
: : "
. --+--
.: . ! O!o
%
__
`( o`_\
\ \ ` FREE LOVE,
/ /
__WWWW__ BUT BAD HYGIENE
( / \ )
| | | |
\| |/
___vv__vv____
/ `` '' \
|_____________|
/ \ nmf
(_I__I_)
%
0_
\`. ___
\ \ / __>0 YAP YAP YAP
/\ / |/' /
/ \/ ` ,`'--. I'M HENRY ROLLINS
/ /(___________)_ \
|/ //.-. .-.\\ \ \ YAP YAP YAP
0 // :@ ___ @: \\ \/
( o ^(___)^ o ) 0 WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU EVEN LISTENING TO ME
\ \_______/ / I'M A TALENTLESS BIG-NECKED DIPFUCK
/\ '._______.'--.
\ /| |<_____> |
\ \__|<_____>____/|__
\____<_____>_______/
|<_____> |
|<_____> |
:<_____>____:
/ <_____> /|
/ <_____> / |
/___________/ |
| | _|__
| | ---||_
| |L\/|/ | | [__]
| \|||\|\ | /
jgs | | /
|___________|/
%
|||
|||||,
\|||||/
/) `|||||/
,-""//-. ______ |`"""'|
==|`-.//.-'|,-----'======================| P |====
| |---,---, .---,((--------. | A |
| | /(_)/ / (()))` ;'", \ | S |
`-.____.-' /_ / / /| `;',`;; ,/( \ | T |
/(_)/ / // ; ` " ((()) \ | A |
.-::-. /_ / / /) "' ;" ; `;"' \`-...-'
(::::::) /(_)/ `=//===================' hjw
`-::-' / / (/
----------'---'
THIS WILL BE A DELICIOUS WIENER PACKET
%
_,._
__.' _) DEAR CHRISTIANS,
<_,)'.-"a\
/' ( \ IT DOESN'T SEEM LIKE A REALLY GOOD SYSTEM
_.-----..,-' (`"--^ IF YOU ACTUALLY SAY THE PASSWORD TO THE
// | POTENTIAL BAD GUY AND THEN ASK HIM TO
(| `; , | SAY IT BACK TO YOU
\ ;.----/ ,/
) // / | |\ \ BUT HEY THEM CHRISTIANS KNEW THEIR CRYPTOGRAPHY
jgs \ \\`\ | |/ /
\ \\ \ | |\/
%
\ ########### /
\ ######### /
\ /
\ /
\ /
\ /
\ /
\_________________________________/
| |
| |
| |
| _________ |
| | | |
| | ___ | |
| I |___| | |
| | | |
| | | |
| | _| |
| | |#| | ;,
-- ___ | | | | ;'
H*/ ` | | | _____| .,`
*/ )| I | \_____\ ;'
/___.,';| | | \\ \ ."`
| ; |___________|_________|______\\ \ ;:
| ._,' / \\ \ .
|,' / \\ \
|| / \\_____\
|| / \_____|
|| / ___________ \
|| / / =====o | \
||/ / | /-\ | \
// / | | \
// / | ____ |______ \
// / (O) | | | \ \
// / |____| | 0 \ \
// / o---- |________\ \
/ / | | | \
/ | | \
/ | | leb
/ | |
LUCY LEE WAS PUT IN JAIL BECAUSE SHE'S JUST NOT A VERY GOOD PORNSTAR
%
._ WHAT WOULD ALEX P. KEATON DO
|
|
|L___,
.' '. T
: * :_|
'._.' L MY GUESS IS WOBBLE UNCONTROLLABLY AND COMPLAIN ABOUT IT
%
'-. WHOA WHOA WHOA
'-. _____
.-._ | '. LISTEN UP
: .. | :
'-._+ | .-' EVERYONE STOP WHAT YOU'RE DOING RIGHT NOW
/ \ .'i--i AND SWITCH TO CHANNEL LICK MY DICK
/ \ .-'_/____\___
.-' : fsc:
%
,__,
_.-----/6 6)
,-' / .='=. REMEMBER WHAT TO DO, FRIENDS
/ _./ /_-._,..
_.-| \.'|,:=._::,,_. NOW TELL ME RIGHT OUT LOUD
.'_.-'\ |//..=
,'.' / /_:.'. WHAT ARE YOU SUPPOSED TO DO
:: `,.,' : WHEN YOU SEE THE FLASH ?????
:: /// ::
:: ,/// ::
:: `. / ::
`:`-./ / _.-'.'
`-._`---'_.-'
,/ /:---'
`. //
::/ // l42
/ |||
%
__..._ _...__
_..-" `Y` "-._ LET'S HAVE A LONG DISCUSSION ABOUT WHETHER
\ | / WE SHOULD CALL THE LAST DECADE THE "AUGHTS"
\\ | // OR THE "NAUGHTS"
\\\ | ///
\\\ _..---.|.---.._ /// MEANWHILE LET'S IGNORE THE FACT THAT THIS
jgs \\`_..---.Y.---.._`// CIRCUMSTANCE HAPPENS EVERY CENTURY SO WE
'` `' COULD ACTUALLY, YOU KNOW, READ A BOOK AND
FIND OUT WHAT THEY WERE CALLED IN THE PAST
AND END THIS STUPID DISCUSSION BEFORE IT STARTS
%
_______
_.---/ .-- \.
_./ __/ _,-' `-. DEAR DREW BARRYMORE,
,/ ,/ __/ \_ \.
,/ ,-' _ _,/ \. \ \_ YOU UNDERSTAND THAT NO ONE
,/ _,' _/##\ \. \__ `\ ACTUALLY THINKS YOU'RE SEXY
| / ,/######\_ \ `\ \.
| / ,/ \. \. \ \ RIGHT ???????//
\./ / " " \ \ \ |
| / #### ##### \ \ \. |
| _' " " | \ \. |
'- /===\ | \/===\ | \ \_|
( @ |/ | @ ) \ \ |
/ \__./ |\___/ \ \ |
/ ( / | | /
/ \__) | \ /
/ /_____\ | | ,-
( ########### ## i,/
##### (=___=) ### ####-.-'
##### ### ###### #####
##############################
############################
#########################
############### S@yaN
##############
%
\ /\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\
\ /\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\
\ /\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\
\\ \ / /\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\
\\ \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\
\\ () - - /\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\
\ /\\\\\\\\\\\\\
\\ \ /\\\\\\\\\\\\
\\\\ //\\\\\\\\\\\
\\\\\\///\\\\\\\\\
\\\\\\/\\\\\\\\\\\\
(\_ \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\
/ \
| \
\ \ MORE LIKE OPERATION NEW DONG
| |
/ /
==
====
ff ==
%
MOSSAD SHOULD HAVE DONE SOMETHING MORE CLEVER TO ASSASSINATE
THAT HAMAS LEADER THAT WAS SIMPLE
LIKE PROGRAM A BIG TRAK PACKED WITH EXPLOSIVES
OH FUCK THERE'S CARPET IN THIS HALLWAY OUR PROGRAM IS USELESS
..-------------------.__
.'_______ `-.
// .-----.\.--------..--------.\
||' __'|| || || || __
||' .=(_ )|| ====== || ==.| ||( _)
||'| \\||________||________||//
||'------\) ,--======\\======-._/
____|| |/ = = `-.
_____________ ||'==. || ...... = = `-.
`=============`|| ||_ /////.--. = = `. .--.
| .---. || | .----|==| \ \ \ \|==|
| .' `. || | .' '--'. |-. | | .-|'--'`.
.' \ || .' `. |-.'-|=|-'.-| \
/ .-==-. \|| / _.----. \ |-.'-|=|-'.-| |
| .' .---. `. ||| .-' .---. `. | |-.'-|=|-'.-| |
| / .`.- -.`. \ '\_`---- / .`.- -.`. \ | ' '-|=|-' '_____/
[|_|/ / _ \ \|__________| / / _ \ \ `_____.......-----'_____]
; : / \ : ;'----------'; : / \ : ;[_____.......-----'; :
: ; \_/ ; : \ / / ; : \_/ ; : \ \ / /
\ \ / /. `- -` . \ \ / / LGB . `- -` .
. `- -` . `-----` . `- -` . `-----`
`-----` `-----`
YES THAT'S RIGHT I MADE AN 80S TOY JOKE IN CONJUNCTION WITH

A DEAD HAMAS GUY YOU GOT A PROBLEM WITH THAT ???? TOO SOON ?????
%
VK / |
/ | O, INTERNET, WHAT WOULD PERVS DO WITHOUT YOU
/ / |
/ / / |
\_/ / /\ \
( / / \ \ ANSWER: KEEP THEIR FUCKED UP SHIT TO THEMSELVES
`/ / \ \
/ / \ \
/\ / \ /\
.-( / /----------\ \ )-. (THUS THE INTERNET SHUTS DOWN FOREVER)
( `-' `-' )
`.____________________.'
(_) (_)
%
______
.-' `-.
.' `. I CAN'T WAIT FOR THE SPINOFF
/ \
; ;` CSI: TYCHO CRATER
| / |;
; / / / ;|
'\ / / / / ;
\`. / / .' /
`.`-._____.-' .'
/ /`_____.-'
/ / /
/ / /
/ / /
/ / /
/ / /
/ / /
/ / /
/ / /
/ / /
BKN \/_/
%
_____
j_____j
/_____/_\ MORE LIKE HARVEY FILK
|_(~)_| |
| )"( | | (BECAUSE FILKING IS GAY YOU SEE)
hjw |(@_@)| |
|_____|,'
%
___
\\||
,'_,-\ "LIFE" IS LITERALLY LATIN FOR "BETWEEN BEATOFFS"
;'____\
|| =\=|
|| - |
,---'._--''-,,---------.--.----_,
/ `-._- _--/,,| ___,,--'--'._<
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jrei |/,,`-._ `-.
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- , ;._ _.-=.,-=" ,=
, -= , '_.-7_.--.,-="' , -= _AsH
WELL IT'S BEEN A DECADE OF MAKING THIS SHIT

AND I'M ALL OUT OF IDEAS
SO GOODBYE TO ALL MY ONLINE FRIENDS FOREVER

%
DEAR AHRYAN ASTYN,
YOUR NAME MAKES ME LAUGH
LOVE, HITLER, XOXO
___ /
/ (`\\ ,
c` 9\9 . '
___.-| -_"/
/\===\|_/===\
/`< __ >/ __|,\
b'ger ( - | '|/o| '|- \
%
. '.'.*. .*.'.' .
*. '. \ \ * * / / .' .*
*._ '. \*88888 88888*/ .' _.*
*._ '-. *8*___~*8*~___*8* .-' _.*
* '--.8.-~` ~-Y-~ `~-.8.--' *
'--.___*/ .----. .----. \*___.--'
* 8| \____/ _ \____/ |8 *
jgs '---.|\ / \ /.---'
||'-----' '-----'
||
|| DEAR INTERNET ADULT FILM DATABASE,
||
|| I'M GOING COME RIGHT OUT AND SAY IT:
||
|| I DO NOT LIKE THAT YOU REMEMBER AND DISPLAY MY
|| LAST SEARCH AS IT ALWAYS REMINDS ME I'M A CREEP
|/
%
. .
* . . . . * .
. . . . . . .
o . .
. . . .
0 .
. . , , ,
. \ . .
. \ ,
. o . . . .
. \ , . .
#\##\# . . .
# #O##\### . .
. #*# #\##\### . ,
. ##*# #\##\## . .
. ##*# #o##\# . , .
. *# #\# . . . ,
\ . .
____^/\___^--____/\____O______________/\/\---/\___________---______________
/\^ ^ ^ ^ ^^ ^ '\ ^ ^ ---
-- - -- - - --- __ ^ RC
-- __ ___-- ^ ^ -- __
FUCK IT'S COLD HERE SEND STERNO STAT

%
/
( . |\
. | I__ ___---~~~ |
. _i_---~~~~ \_---~~~ _-\|
:;.: /~ ____--~ __-~
;: ___---~~~----~~~~ __--~
: : __---~~~ _ __--~
: _-~~ ___---~~_O __--~
.:(_ ~ ___---~~
*.::; ;;~~~------_____-----~~~~ -snafu-
***..;
.ojO *
.Ji'`
;`'`
THE US NAVY IS GOING TO ALLOW WOMEN TO SERVE ON SUBMARINES
I DON'T REALLY THINK I HAVE A JOKE HERE I JUST THINK THAT'S HOT
%
_____ _____
// _/__ // _/__
// // / // // /
// // / // // /
// // / // // /
// // / // // /
/| _// / /| _// /
/ // / / / // / /
___J_C_ /__/________________________________J_C_ /__/_________
-----/ C__C% % % %\ /% % % % % / C__C----------
/_// / /% % % % %\ /% % % % % / / /
/||/__/% % % % % %\ /% % % % % %|/__/|
/%|%_%_%_% % % % % %\ /% % % % % %_%_%_%|
\_|/ (% % % % % %\ /% % % % % %) \|
| (% % % % % %\ /% % % % % %) |
| (% % % % % %\ /% % % % % %) |
\ (% % % % % %\ /% % % % % %) /
| (% % % % % %\/% % % % % %) |
\ (% % % % % %% % % % % %) /
| (% % % % % % % % % %) |
\ (% % % % %% % % % %) /
VK | (% % % % % % % %) |
\ (% % % %% % % %) /
\ |- - - - - - | /
`\.____/______________\____./'
AWWWW YEAH BEATING OFF TO SIGOURNEY RIPLEY IN ALIEN

WITH HER BEE STING TITS AND '70S PANTIES
OH JESUS CHRIST THE ALIEN GHGLHALHLBHGLLG RUINING EVERYTHING

%
,---------.
||"""""""||
|| || AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW
|/-->&<--\|
| (._.) | IS MOBY CRYING ABOUT NET NEUTRALITY AGAIN ?!?!?!?!?
| ( @ ) |
| /|`"|\ |
//(_\___/_)\\
\\_()___()_//
`+---I---+'
|\(_)|(_)/|
_|j"""""""|j_
| |_______| |
|_| |_| hjw
%
__,,,,_
_ __..-;''`--/'/ /.',-`-.
(`/' ` | \ \ \\ / / / / .-'/`,_
/'`\ \ | \ | \| // // / -.,/_,'-,
/<7' ; \ \ | ; ||/ /| | \/ |`-/,/-.,_,/')
/ _.-, `,-\,__| _-| / \ \/|_/ | '-/.;.\'
`-` f/ ; / __/ \__ `/ |__/ |
`-' | -| =|\_ \ |-' | DEAR TIGER WOODS,
__/ /_..-' ` ),' //
fL ((__.-'((___..-'' \__.' SHUT
THE
FUCK
UP
%
,,,,,,
o#'9MMHb':'-,o,
.oH":HH$' "' ' -*R&o,
dMMM*""'`' .oM"HM?. WORLD CAN SURE AS SHIT WAIT
,MMM' "HLbd< ?&H\
.:MH ."\ ` MM MM&b
`#MMMMM MM6P ,
' `MMMP" HM*`,
' :MM .- ,
'. `#?.. . ..'
-. . .-
''-.oo,oo.-''
%
__ |\ IS NSFW AN AUSTRALIAN STATE OR WHAT
,'`/ (,| \
,' | | \
( |----|____\
\ ,|_, | ./
(_/ `^|`~,/
`-^' (ONLY AUSSIES WILL GET THIS JOKE
__ SO IT'S KIND OF A WASTE)
KG \/
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............
',_;__;__;___;;;;/// 1. THE PLURAL OF SHRIMP IS SHRIMPS
',_;__;__;__;'''\\\\
| | 2. THE PLURAL OF SHRIMPS IS SHRIMPSS
'.________.'
DCA
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THIS PAGE INTENTIONALLY LEFT BLACK
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,.
|`:.
| `:.
m1a | |`.`:;@.
| |;.`.`;| DOES ANYONE SERIOUSLY ACTUALLY RETYPE THEIR PASSWORD
; `.';| || WHEN PROMPTED TO BY SOME WEB FORM ????
,(`;.`.| ||
/8o (`:. ||
/o8888o `; || JUST FUCKING CUT AND PASTE AND SPEAK TRUTH TO POWER
/@o8888888o (`;|
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`.`.;:oO08c{)/ |
`.`.(),0 / /
`.`.`/ /
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%
_....._ .--.
_.-' `-._ o/o-;;;
( `-._ _.-' ) (_, z) IF THERE ARE MILFS THEN
`:-._'---'_.-:' ,,,, _|-' / WHY ARE THERE NO FILFS ?????
: `'''`_,-/`-._ /.. ) /\`--/"\
: [_./_ /_ _(_& _P / \_/, |
: :`-/(_`_____ _\-'_/___/ /|
: _.-: 8 \=__))____/ |
: |'_.-: \_ | / F
: | : : //`7/ / /
: | :.-: (( (( L_______/
: |o : /_>/_> / Y /
: |_.-': / / /
: : J J J OH RIGHT I KNOW IT'S BECAUSE
(`'-._____,-'`) | | | WOMEN DON'T LIKE FUCKING
| | | | |
| | _J__J__J
(_ _) (__(_____)
cjr'-..___..-'
%
__ HEY LET'S ALL JUST KEEP IN MIND THAT MY BONER TOTALLY
/_/\/\ DIED FOR YOUR SINS
\_\ /
/_/ \ (NO IT DID NOT, IT'S TOTALLY TAKING FALSE CREDIT,
\_\/\ \ IN FACT IT'S STILL ALIVE)
\_\/
(OKAY ONLY JUST BARELY ALIVE)
%
_, ____
\_ ` , `P I'M MAY BE A SHITTING A P
|/--\ /
jgs "` "` BUT IT'S BETTER THAN SHITTING AN X
%
`;.`;'.
`;);.(~;(`;
`(;);;;;;);(::` WAIT IS SHE CRYING ??!?!?!?
;)(; ; ;;~;;;(;
`(`;;~- -~(;~;)`)
;(`;) ' ;);;; ;
`;);;(;`\ ^_/(;)~;;);
(;);.;) ':);( ..(;
`'((;); )(.');`:
;.' );("'(""/; ;`.)
| | / / \ \;);:
| |/ /WwW\ \;`'
\ /) .X.\ \ AWWW YEAH THAT TOTALLY GETS ME OFF
TS \_/ .X. \_/
%
_ _ _
| |_| |_| |
| |
| | WILL THE SHITTY WHITE RAPPER /
| ,-. |
| |((}| | PLEASE STAND UP /
| |_))| |
| (( | PLEASE STAND UP /
| )) |
| ((( | OKAY NEVER MIND FUCKING SIT THE FUCK DOWN
| ))) |
| (( |
| ))) |
| ((( |
| ))) |
| ((( |
| ))) |
| ((( |
| ))) |
| ((( |
| ))) |
| ((( |
| ))) |
| ((( |
| ))) |
| ((( |
| ))) |
| ((( | \
| ))) | \
| ((( | _,, ~ \)
| ))) | `-=\; {] |`
| ((( | _ \\;_|/
| ))) | _\|/\_|
| ((( | \ \|\
| ))) | ( )~~~
| ((( | | \
ejm ,| ` ,,,, / /,,,,
%
, /\.__ _.-\
/~\, __ /~ \ ./ \ CLIMBING MT.
,/ /_\ _/ \ ,/~,_.~'"\ /_\_ /'\ MEGAN MCARDLE
/ \ /## \ / V#\/\ /~8# # ## V8 #\/8 8\
/~#'#"#""##V&#&# ##\/88#"#8# #" #\#&"##" ##\
j# ##### #"#\&&"####/###& #"#&## #&" #"#&#"#'\
/#"#"#####"###'\&##"/&#"####"### # #&#&##"#"### \
J#"###"#"#"#"####'\# #"##"#"##"#"#####&"## "#"&"##|\
VK+Pr59
%
____
_[____]_
( '7')
__)(^_ I'M DEAD BUT I CAN STILL DANCE BETTER THAN YOU
/ ,C^D,\
/ /||:||\\
\ \|/:\|//
`\\~~~|/
,##\7|\ \
|#| \ \
|#| / /
jgs |#|/_/
|#|\ \
(#_\`'
%
__
.'/\'.
.'-/__\-'.
.'--/____\--'.
.'--./______\.--'.
.'--../________\..--'.
.'--.._/__________\_..--'.
.'--..__/____________\__..--'.
.'--..___/______________\___..--'. WHOOPS
'========'================'========'
[_|__] [_|__]
=[__|_]=====""=====[__|_]==.
[_|__] '| [_|__] | DROPPED ANOTHER HOOKER
[__|_] |' [__|_] | DOWN THE WISHING WELL
[_|__] .--JL--. [_|__] '===O
[__|_] \====/ [__|_]
[_|__]_.-| .; |-._[_|__]
[__|_]'._ \__/(_.'[__|_]
[.-._] [_.-.]
[_.-.'--..____..--'.-._]
(o) [(_.' .-. .-.'._)\ (o)
(\'/) [ .-. (_.'.-. (_.' .-.](\'/)
;: [ (_.'.-. (_.' .-. (_.'| ;:'
;: [ .-. '._) .-. '._).-. ] ;:.
[(_.' .-. '._) .-.'._)]
(o) /.-. (_.'.-. (_.' .-.];:(o)
(\'/)['._).-. (_.' .-.(_.'] (\'/)
[ (_.'.-. .-.'._) \ ;:
;:' '-._ '._) '._) _.-'
LGB `---..____..---' ;:`
;:' ;:'.:; ;;"
%
./==\
/~~~~~\V ./ / ||
(-_=====) ./ / ||
( -=====\ ./ ./ /| \
( ( )= ./ (./ / | \
) ) _/ ./ ./ / | |\
,__(__ ( ( ___/ ./ / | | \
( L:\\ -v-\ / @@@/@@@@ @@@\@@@
/ /\L:\\VV KK\/ (@@@/OO@@@@)@@@OO\@@@)
/ / |L:\\vKKxx) @/@@@@@@ @@@@@\@
<c < \LL:KKxxX/
\ \ \KKxxXX/
\ \ |=====/ I JUST ATE A CANDY BAR !!!!!!!!!!!!!1111
\ \ /mltggll\
) ) |mltgglll\
())) mmltgglll\
_\\___WWWWWWWWW) TAKE THAT MISS BLIND JUSTICE
<==\\==>MM#@#!!!| WITH THE SCALES AND WHATNOT
\\ MM#@#!!:!/
\\ MM#@#!!!|
M\\ M#@#!!:\
MM\\ @#!!:!|
<<:\\ @#:::/
><<<:\/#||||
<>>>:@@#___\
DS \/~oO/ )Ooo
%
. .
|\____/|
(\|----|/)
\ 0 0 / HURRAY IT'S TIME FOR THE CENSUS AGAIN !!!111
| |
___/\../\____
/ -- \
/ \ / \
| \___/___/( | I THINK THIS TIME I'LL BE A MARRIED ASIAN
\ /| }{ | \ ) WOMAN WITH FIVE KIDS AND A HANDICAP
\ ||__}{__| | |
\ |;;;;;;;\ \ / \_______
\ /;;;;;;;;| [,,[|======'
|;;;;;;/ | /
||;;|\ |
snd ||;;/| / TAKE ***THAT*** UNITED STATES CONSTITUTION
\_|:||__|
\ ;|| /
|= || =|
|= /\ =|
/_/ \_\
%
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
.' ___...-'.
/__......-----``` \ LET'S ALL CHECK OUT TIM BERNERS-LEE
/`---...._________......---'\ AT TED 2010 GIVING ANOTHER PRESENTATION
: : ON HOW HIS LAST NAME HAS A HYPHEN IN IT
| )\ )\ |
| ( `-. `. -. |
| `-. .'` ~ `. |
\ / ` .-.` \ /
\ | `( @ ) ~| /
\ \~ .``-' `/ /
`._ `-.___.-` _.'
`-._ _.-'
`-.-=-.-'
((o))
LGB // \\
.---/ \_/ \---.
( '._____.' )
`-------------'
%
,--.::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::....:::::::
)::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::.. ..::::
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( ) ),--.::::::::::::::::::::::. ( ) .::
)-._::::::::::::::::::.. `--' ..::
_________________):::::::::::::::::::.. ..::::
::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::....:::::::
:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
!:!:!:!:!:!:!:!:!:!:!:!:!:!:!:!:!:!:!:!:!:!:!:!:!:!
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
|!|!|!|!|!|!|!|!|!|!|!|!|!|!|!|!|!|!|!|!|!|!|!|!|!|
|||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
I|I|I|I|I|I|I|I|I|I|I|I|I|I|I|I|I|I|I|I|I|I|I|I|I|I
IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII O!o
TODAY'S WEATHER FORECAST IS:
CLOUDY WITH A CHANCE OF MASTURBATION

%
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%% % { % ,%% %' } (_)|' @%% % %% < %% % %%% "
%% %%.%% % %% %x% ][ %% { %% %% ', %% %cgmm
MY BALLS ARE REALLY UNSYMPATHETIC TO YOUR PLIGHT
WHAT WITH THEM BEING THE CHIEF ARCHITECT OF IT
WELL MORE THE LEFT ONE THAN THE RIGHT ONE REALLY
BUT THEY EACH DESERVE THEIR OWN SHARE OF BLAME
NOW FUCKING HOLD STILL

%
.-.
(/^\)
(\ /) ADVICE GODDESS !!!!!!111
.-'-.
/(_I_)\
\\) (// A.K.A. JIZZ RECEPTACLE
/ \
\ | / A.K.A. PUNCH RECEIVER
\|/
/|\
\|/
jgs /Y\
%
_ _
,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, \ / DON'T MAKE ME SEX YOU UP
/ ( ( ( ( ( ( ( ( \ [ = =]
< ( ( ( ( ( ( ( ( / { ^ } IT'S NOT REALLY A PUNISHMENT
\ (__(__(__(__(__(__(__(__) ~ SO MUCH AS A DIVINE RIGHT
^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^
-cfbd-
%
(
) ) WHOEVER MADE CLOSED CAPTIONS ON BY DEFAULT
______(____ FOR YOUTUBE NEEDS TO BE BOILED ALIVE
(___________)
/ \
/ \
| |
____\ /____
()____'.__ __.'____()
jgs .'` .'```'. `-.
().'` `'.()
.,,-~&, ,~"~.
{ /`,__\`. > :::: SLOW DANCING WITH A GIRL IN A
{ `}'~.~/\ \ <, ?::; PUBLIC PLACE DOESN'T GIVE YOU AIDS
{`}'\._/ ) } l_ f DOES IT ?!?!?!?!?
,__/ l_,'`/ ,__}--{_.
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/ /! ! \ \ PLEASE WRITE BACK
/_,f_l l___j. \
(_ \l_ `_ ,.-'`--( `.,'`.
Y\__Y`--' `-'~x__J j' >
,/ ,^'
f__J mab'95
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)/_
(' \ I WONDER IF BARNEY FRANK'S VOICE IS SO FUNNY
/) ) BECAUSE OF ALL THOSE DICKS HE'S SUCKED
---/'-""---
)/_
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---/'-""---
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---/'-""---
AsH
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M WE CHOOSE TO GO TO THE MOON !!!!!!!!11111
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%
__________________
.-' \ _.-''-._ / '-. OKAY FOLKS TIME TO LIMIT YOUR CARBON EMISSIONS
.-/\ .'. .'. /\-.
_'/ \.' '. .' './ \'_ AND BY CARBON I MEAN ACTUAL CARBON NOT
:======:======::======:======: CARBON DIOXIDE OR ANYTHING
'. '. \ '' / .' .'
'. . \ : : / . .'
'.' \ ' ' / '.' BASICALLY I'M SAYING YOU NEED TO STOP SHITTING
': \: :/ :' AND THEN BECOME COMPACTED AND DIE
'. \ / .'
'.\ /.' THEN WE CAN HARVEST YOUR CORPSE FOR DIAMONDS,
miK '\/' IT'S WIN-WIN
%
.::7777::-.
/:'////' `::>/|/ ,.-----__
.', |||| `/( e\ ,:::://///,:::-.
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.', |||| `/( e\
SdM -==~-'`-Xm````-mm-' `-_\ \, CHECK OUT THESE DELICIOUS
TERROR SNACKS
%
___
.-" "-. WHO THE FUCK'S BRIGHT IDEA WAS IT TO CHANGE
.' . ; `. THE STANDARD FIVE LIFE SAVER FRUIT FLAVORS
/ : . ' : \
| ` .-. . ' |
| : ( ) ; ` | I MEAN FUCKING WATERMELON !?!?!?!?!?!??!?!
| : `-' : | ARE YOU FUCKING SERIOUS ?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?
\ .` ; : /
hjw `. . ' .' DECLARING A JIHAD
`-.___.-'
%
_.-'
_.-' MY BALLS ARE A LIQUIDITY TRAP
_____________.-'________________
/ _.-' O /|
/ i====_======O __________/ /
/ / _.-' O / _ /|/
/ / | p o / ( / /
/ / O /_________/ /
/ L===========O /|/
/______________O________________/ /
aos |________________________________|/
%
__ I KNOW YOU'RE NOT SUPPOSED TO INSERT Q-TIPS INTO
/,- YOUR EAR CANAL BUT I CAN'T HELP MYSELF SINCE IT'S SO SEXY
||)
\\_, )
`--'
ejm
%
. _ + . ______ . . ' . '+
( /|\ _ _| \___ . + ' . *
/\ ||||| . | | | | | | . ' . '
__||||_|||||____| |_|_____________\________________________________________
. |||| ||||| /\ _____ _____ . . . . .
. \|`-'|||| |||| __________ .
\__ |||| |||| . . . . - . .
__ ||||`-'||| . . __________
. . |||| ___/ ___________ . PRO TIP: IF YOU REALLY WANT
_ ___|||||__ _ . _ TO CONFUSE PEOPLE GET ON
_ `---' . . . _ . . . CHAT ROULETTE AND WHEN YOU
_ ^ . - . - . - . SEE A GIRL SHOW A SIGN THAT
BA READS "SHOW ME YOUR DREAMS"
THEY WILL NEVER CLICK OFF

BUT INSTEAD YAP FOREVER
%
I CAME DOWN HERE TO FIND THE LITTLE MERMAID AND FUCK HER
BUT ALL I GOT WAS THIS SHELL
SO I GUESS I GOTTA MAKE DO IF YOU KNOW WHAT I'M SAYIN'
/
/__ /
/(..) _
\_, / / /\
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/ ||' ;_.-'\
\ || { _.}_
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jgs \ |____\ | ,/
.'/ `-._/ \|_/
~~~
%
,/((\\.
.////((($.
-/'`''')\\\\'
`( _ _ `\$\ I HAVE DIARRHEA
// / ?(\)
L\ `__ //(\ /
\ `. ($
\ `) _(($.
_____/==='" \$-.
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_______/` /''--') )__________ `--. `.--. _____
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`-.____.__| L ( `-. \
|`- \ `'. `-.
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%
.-----------.
; : I'M A MACROECONOMIC MODEL
_ _________ _
(_)~---------~(_)
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`-----|ANT|-----'
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%
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___....-----```` __....-----. `. HOP IN THE
___...---` __......-----.| ___...---.| / \ BANG VAN
.`` _ | ___....----.||| `|| / `\
/_ ___....----.|| `||||.-. `||| `\ SERIOUSLY
/ | | `|||.-. `|||| \ `||| / `\ NO BANGS
| | |.-. `||| \ `|||| \ `||| / `.)`\ HERE
| | | \ `||| \ `||||___...---'|`--------`.
/ | | \ `|||___....----'|| ____ | .=\
| | |___....----'| ____ ||(o)--' [=] ---.|
.`----' _ |(o)--' _ || _ | _ |
| _ _ | |'-._ | |
| __________________ | ___________ | ___'-.._ [=] ______ _/
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| \ _/.' .--. ` \|| / /.' ` .--. \ \ .---.
\ | |.' . / _ | ||'-------' |.' . / _ | # || | |
\__|_|' | (_) / . |\__________/' # | (_) / |'.____\___|
\ .'':'=' \ / | | ' \ / | |
`.-'(.' \ ` `--' / / \ `--' . / / IT'S A MISNOMER
/ \ # # /_.` \ ` # . /_.`
`.______.` `.______.' LGB
%
__
(==)
##
[] MY G3 BRINGS ALL THE BOYS TO THE YARD
',
',
',
',
',
',
',
',
', THE ***GRAVE***YARD THAT IS !!!!!!111 AAHHAHAHAHAHA
||
-cfbd- ## GET IT (NO YOU DON'T UNLESS YOU'VE PLAYED
~~ BATTLEFIELD: BAD COMPANY 2 A LOT AND UNLOCKED IT)
%
.
. . .'. \ /
\ / .'. .' '.' ' -= o =-
-= o =- .' ' / | \
/ | \ |
| | THIS IS KE6GAY
| |
| .=====| CAN I JOIN YOUR HAM NET
|=====. |.---.|
|.---.| ||=o=||
||=o=|| || ||
|| || || ||
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%
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,' _ ,-. `. FOR STAYING HOME FROM WORK THAT
| (_) `-' | GOES OVER VERY WELL AT ALL
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%
_ ,--() I'M USB 2.0
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" `--[] I'M PRETTY AWESOME (NO JOKE HERE, REALLY, JUST THE TRUTH)
hjm
%
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()) | WE JUST SUMMARIZE IT AS:
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.' \,/:\,/`. "LOTS OF SQUIGGLY LETTERS, BLAH BLAH, NO PORK"
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%
.------------------------------------------------.
( POOR KYRGYZSTAN ........ SO WHERE IS THAT ANYWAY )
//'------------------------------------------------'
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______________________________________________________
__________|___________,_______________________________
__________|__________//,_______
__________|__________\|/;..____ POLLY WANNA
__________|___________\\//\,.__ PUNCH ME IN THE TITS
__________|___________/ '\/__
__________|__________/,* _ |_________________________
__________|_________( ) ( ) (_________________________
__________|__________\( " \________________________
__________|____________) \\______________________
__________|___________( \\\___________________
__________|____________\ ( \\ \\\_________________
__________|____________(\ \\ \\ \\\_______________
__________|_____________\\ \\ \\ \\\_____________
__________|______________\\ \\ \\ \\____________
__________|_______________\\ \\ \\ \\___________
__________|________________\-\ \\\ \\\\___________
__________|_________________\ /\_ \\\ \\___________
__________|__________________(( \-___- \\\__________
__________|___________________\ \_______ \\\_________
__________|____________________\ \_______ \\\________
__________|_____________________\ \________\\\_______
__________|______________________\ \________\\\______
__________|_______________________\ \________\\______
__________|________________________(--)_______________
__________|___________________________________________
__________|___________________________________________
bni
%
..______....__________,____,,,.
`'------- ';;-..-----.-. | I'M A SUBMACHINE GUN
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CB ''''
%
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@ | /###|##|###|##\ /##|###|##|###\ | @
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BETTER GET USED TO ME
%
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-- o_o THIS IS YOUR MOTHER
// .__/
/ _/ I'VE HAD A BAD DAY
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/ / /\ |
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\_____/__(__`-,--._.'
gnv
%
___
/,,,\ I'M A GENIETTE
(((@)))/ (
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( ) I CAN'T REALLY GRANT WISHES OR ANYTHING
||| I JUST COOK POORLY AND COMPLAIN A LOT
|||
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|||
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/:::::\
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((((()))))) HEY GOT ANY CHOCOLATE
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%
.--. I'M INSULIN
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,--=======* )"("")===)===* ) I SWEAR SERIOUSLY JUST INSULIN NOT HEROIN
o `-"---==-+-"| `-" OR ANYTHING
O JW '--'
JUST INJECT ME AND SHUT THE FUCK UP ALREADY
%
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---._ _`8P . OH GOD I TRIPPED OVER MY OWN DICK AGAIN
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|=| I'M EXCALIBUR
|=|
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( ( ) ) PULL ME OUT OF A STONE
\|\/\"/\/|/ TO PROVE YOU'RE A TRUE FAGGOT
| Y |
| | |
| | |
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/ \ | | | \
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+ \|+ \ < \
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| \ /\
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\\|//
%
I'M A CAT
/ I'M A DOG
/
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\ \ _ .,-' `-., _, ; /
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%
____
|| | ALL THIS DESK IS MISSING IS JERKNAPS AND LOTION
||___|
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WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO THIS
/
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/ / |/ \ \
\ \ / /
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_/ =\ ONE DAY I'LL EVOLVE INTO A WICCAN
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/ | |/ SAD HUH
| | |\
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/ \ _ '-.__; __.-' ; DON'T LICK MY DICK
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\(..)/ WAIT LET ME CHECK ..............
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_/'--/_ ...... NOPE, DICK IS STILL SMALL
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gnv .oooO LOoo
%
I REGRET NOTHING
/
/
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\__ .@___/\______/\/_)__
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~-~__|___~-~-~-~ ~-~-~-~ ~-~- ~-~-~-~
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%
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| | | | | |__|__LJ__L_L_|_|_J-------------"-__
| | |_L---"" . ""--_____
_-'--"" .
hs .
WAIT WHAT SOVEREIGN DEFAULT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT
WHAT EVEN IS A "SOVEREIGN DEFAULT"
I'M THE FUCKING PARTHENON WHY ARE YOU TALKING TO ME ABOUT THIS
JESUS CHRIST I'M JUST BARELY STANDING HERE AND YOU'RE EXPECTING
ME TO ABSORB THIS SHIT AND OFFER ADVICE ???? WHAT ARE YOU STUPID
I'M GREEK WE ONLY KNOW HOW TO FUCK SHEEP AND RACK UP DEBT
%
___
___ '::|_|_| WINDOWS 7: VISTA UNFUCKED
'::|_|_|'.:|_|_|
'.:|_|_|
_,,--~~|~~--,,_
/` | `\
|
7
_( ___
|.|\|:-)|__
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%
I'M A SPRING ............. OR AM I A COCK ????
YOU DECIDE, CRUEL AND CYNICAL WORLD

/
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Yeti
%
\
=+===\===+=
| | \ | I DESERVED IT
| | | |
| |_|_ | /
| %%%%%| /
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| %\_/%|
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%
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|_* *| Q: IS THIS WALLPAPER OR IS THIS JIZZ
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ejm__|/\*_*_|*| |* A: REPLY HAZY, TRY AGAIN
/ / \| |*
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%
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.' _.| |--------| |._ `. BACKFILLING TIME SO WE'RE
/ -. .' | | | | `. .- \ REALLY JUST PHONING IT IN
/ `( | |________| | )' \ FOLKS SORRY ABOUT THAT
| \ .i------------i. / |
| .-')/ \(`-. |
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/ / / (4) ___ (1)_\ \ \ \\
| | | _ ,' `.==' `| | | //
| | | (5) | B.T.| (O) | | | //
| | | _ `.___.' _ | | | \\
| \ \ (6) _ _ (9) / / | //
/ `. `. (7) (8) .' .' \ \\
/ `. `-.______.-' .' \ //
/ `-.________.-' \ __//
| |--'
|================================|hjw
"--------------------------------"
%
___
,--[___]--, I'M GONNA PAINT ME A HAPPY LIFE
/ \ WITH A NICE WIFE AND A BIG HOUSE
|,.--'```'--.,| , AND A TWO-CAR GARAGE AND A YACHT
|'-.,_____,.-'| ||
|'-.,_____,.-'| ||
| | _||_
| P A I N T | ///\\\
| | HHHHHH
|'-.,_____,.-'| |||||| WAIT THIS LOOKS KIND OF LIKE A DOG
jgs `'-.,_____,.-'' ||||||
%
_ ,--() IF THERE'S ANYTHING I'VE LEARNED ABOUT USB
( )-'-.------|> IT'S THAT ITS ICON SURE IS POINTY
" `--[]
hjm
%
_____
_.--~_..__ ~~-._ HEY WHAT'S UP LADIES WANT SOME HORRIBLE VENOM
:..____~ ~~--.._
~~-.. ~ ._ ~~----__________
`-._ `. __ ~~~~~~-----...__
~~\. ~-. .------.. ~~~---__
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seal --~~""""---......._________...--'
%
_,--', _._.--._____
.--.--';_'-.', ";_ _.,-' IT'S A HARD-KNOCK LIFE
.'--'. _.' {`'-;_ .-.>.'
'-:_ ) / `' '=. BUT WHAT A WONDERFUL WORLD
) > {_/, /~)
snd |/ `^ .' HORRIBLE UNCONTROLLABLE DIARRHEA
%
.^._.^.
| . . | EASY INSTALL
( --- )
.' '.
|/ \|
\ /-\ / OKAY I THOUGHT THAT MEANT SOMETHING ELSE
V V
%
,-------------------.
,' ; '::
,' .'|':::::'
::.: ,' .'# |::::':
":":.: ,' .'# # |::':::'
:'. : :-------------------.'# # # |':::'::
:::.:| # # # # # # # # # | # # # |:::::'
::.:..| # # # # # # # # # | # # # |::'
`:;.::'| # # # # # # # # # | # # # |
'::..:'| #.:::.. # # # # # | # # # |
:::::|.,:.:::::::..::# # | # # # | I'M ALWAYS WORRIED ABOUT
`:::::::::::.::..:#::::.# | # # # | THE RISK OF GOING TO
`:":::`::'.::::. :: # # | # # # | TOGO'S AFTER 9/11
,`::::::::::'::'::' # # | # # # |
`:;.::'| # # # # # # # # # | # # # |
| # # # # # # # # # | # # # | AFTER IT'S POSSIBLE
| # # # # # # # # # | # # # AIRLINERS WILL CRASH
| # # # # # # # # # | # # INTO IT WHILE I'M ORDERING
| # # # # # # # # # | # A #9, #24, OR A #30
metallo/Wojtek | # # # # # # # # # |
%
__________________________
__..--/".' '.
__..--"" | | | I CALL IT ..........
/ | | |
/ | | ___________________ | CRAPINTOSH !!!!!!!!11
; | | :__________________/: |
| | | | '.| | BWAHAHAHAHAHHA
| | | | || |
| | | | || |
| | | | || |
| | | | || |
| | | | || |
| | | | || | WHAT DO YOU MEAN
| | | | || | YOU'VE HEARD THAT BEFORE
| | | |______......-----"\| |
| | | |_______......-----" |
| | | | EXCUSE ME BUT I MADE
| | | | IT UP JUST NOW AND IT'S
| | | ____----| OH SO CLEVER SO THERE'S
| | |_____.....----|#######|---| NO POSSIBLE WAY ANYONE
| | |______.....----"""" | COME ALSO COME UP WITH IT
| | | |
|. .. | | , |
|... .... | | (c ----- """ .' ALSO I'VE GOT ONE ABOUT
|..... ...... |\|_| ____......------"""|" MICRO*SLOTH* OR PERHAPS
|. .... .......| |"""""" | MICRO*$*OFT BUT I'M
'... ..... ....| | | STILL WORKING ON IT
"-._ ..... .| | |
"-._.....| | ___...---"""' I'LL KEEP YOU UPDATED
"-._.| | ___...---"""
""""" grp
%
.---.
/_____\__ .===. _ _
`\/6.6\/--` / _/\ \ / )%.===.%( \
( _ ) \/6.6\/ | // ,,, \\ |
,'---', ( _ ) \/ \/6.6\/ \/ .===.
/ _ \ _)---(_ /\ ( _ ) /\ / ,,, \
/\/ (_) \/\ / `~` \ ^^ /()-()\ ^^ ( /6.6\ )
\ | (_) | / /\/ \/\ / /o o\ \ )( _ )(
\| |/ \ | | / (._\ Y /_.) (_/;---;\_)
|_____| \|_____|/ (O_`&`_O) / `"*"` \
| | | | L | / / \ \ ( (_.@._) )
| | | |__|__| / ()/^$) \ /'._\|/_.'\
\__|__/ | | | /. . . . . . .\ /. . . . . .\
|_|_| |_|_| `"`"`|`|`|`"`"` `"`"|"|"|"`"`
jgs _|_|_|_ _|_|_|_ _|_|_|_ _|_|_|_
(___|___) (___|___) (___|___) (___|___)
NO SPOILERS PLEASE !!!!11
I WANT TO FIND OUT FOR MYSELF IF THE YOUNG HEROES

OF THE THUNDERBIRDS REUNITE WITH THEIR PARENTS
%
__|__ /
.'(\ .-. /)'.
+-====(*)===: " :===(o)=====-+
$. '-' .(/
+=
+=
+= TURNS OUT PEARL HARBOR IS JUST
SOME SORT OF FUCKED UP LOVE STORY
+=
+=
+=
+= (THE MOVIE NOT THE ACTUAL BATTLE)

+=
MJP +=
%
_/\|\_\_
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________\ / ) oò__________ [nabis]
</ ) _/_ )-.___/
/ /\( (/
| (__`'` '`
'--.) I DON'T THINK DINO WAS A REAL DINOSAUR
%
.----.
===(_)==
// 6 6 \\ (NEIN) JA DERN EINDEN SKRUBS
( 7 )
\ '--' / (NEIN) HEIGEN BEIGEL VAS DEN SKRUBS
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|||| |'--.__\ TO THE SEASON FINALE OF
| L.( ^_\^ SAVING GRACE ???????
\ .-' | _ |
| | )\___/ WHAT WILL I DO WITH MYSELF THEN ??????
| \-'`:._]
jgs \__/; '-. OH RIGHT NOTHING DIFFERENT SINCE I'VE NEVER WATCHED IT
%
.`=-._.-=-.-=..-'\
| | I'M THE NEW QA GUY IN THE OFFICE
.-._ |-. ./
/'' `. | `-._.--._.-' | .-.
|:. `-./ |.` .)
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%
__________________
.-' \ _.-''-._ / '-.
.-/\ .'. .'. /\-. WHY DOES THE INTERNET NOT REMEMBER
_'/ \.' '. .' './ \'_ PAUL OF THE DIAMOND CENTER ??????
:======:======::======:======:
'. '. \ '' / .' .'
'. . \ : : / . .'
'.' \ ' ' / '.'
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'. \ / .'
'.\ /.' miK
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%
z MORE LIKE THE LEFT 4 DEAD 2 DL***Z***
z
Z AS IN ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ WHO GIVES A SHIT
.--. Z Z
/ _(c\ .-. __
| / / '-; \'-'` `\______
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| \`""`__-/ .'--/ /--------\ \
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.'_'`')`_.' AN EXTENDED 12-INCH DANCE REMIX OF MY DUMB NUTS
\| ) /
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\| '`-
-- ''-- --- VK/ejm
%
.| SO WE'RE LIVING HERE IN FATTENTOWN
| |
|'| ._____
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|' | |. | || | | | | || |
___| '-' ' "" '-' '-.' '` |____
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
%
________ ___,,,,,,,
jgs [________>__________\
DO THESE RIDGES I CARVED INTO MY NOSE MAKE ME LOOK BAJORAN ???
OR JUST LIKE I'M A DIPSHIT WHO GOT INTO A FIGHT WITH A CHAINSAW
%
|
--====|====--
|
.-"""""-. SO WAS STARBUCK IN THE SIDEWAYS

.'_________'. WORLD ALL ALONG OR WHAT
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/\
{.-} LIFT ME TO YOUR EAR AND LISTEN TO THE OCEAN
;_.-'\
{ _.}_
\.-' / `,
\ | /
\ | ,/ DON'T MIND THE TOURETTE'S I CAN'T REALLY HELP IT
jgs \|_/
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| | _
| |//
| // YOU'RE JUST PARANOID
| //
| |
| |
| |
| |
(......)
tQn
%
.__ _..._
/,-./'.--. ``\.
/|/.--./`.o/ /`;\\
|||\ _ `-'_` o|/|| I AM NEARING A STATE OF COMPLETE DRUNKENNESS
||\\`.`.__`Y8P_,\||
\\|| `"\"""/---'||
\\| ,-' `.||//
\(-'_ `.
,-' [_] .-. \
; `\| ||-'/ ` \
\ /`""-.`\ | ; | EXCUSE ME I'M A PROFESSIONAL SIR PLEASE
`.-|\_/ | ; ' | DO NOT TRY THIS AT HOME
\-._ / | | /
|`--'| : ;_\_
/| |/ /\|, )
__..; `----' :`.`|/
/ / | |
; .' `\' ;
\/ : _ :
: / / : AND FOR THE LAST TIME STAY BEHIND
: _.'`.__.' | THE YELLOW LINE
\ _.' \ /
| | / `---.._
| `\ `.____ \
/ | `------'
\__|_,' fsc
%
.
' . '
' . '
. . .
.
. .; .
.':
. .' : .
: ;
. \./ .
.'
. :;|.;: .
'd '' |'
|' .|
| | IS THERE ANY LITTLE NUGGET OF WISDOM
| | THAT OGDEN NASH *CAN'T* TEACH US ?????
:. ' |
| |
| b I MEAN EXCEPT FOR PICKING THE
c | CORN OUT OF MY SHIT (HE'S INCREDIBLY
| . '', UNHELPFUL ON THAT SUBJECT ACTUALLY)
| ')
| :
| |
|c |
| |
| |
| |
__| :|__
.-"" .| , |. ""-..-"".
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".. """""" .."
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%
,.
|`:.
| `:.
m1a | |`.`:;@.
| |;.`.`;| HEY ANYONE WANT TO HEAR SOME ADA JOKES HAW HAW HAW
; `.';| ||
,(`;.`.| ||
/8o (`:. || ALSO I'VE GOT THIS ONE WHERE OPERATING SYSTEMS
/o8888o `; || ARE LIKE CARS
/@o8888888o (`;|
(`.()oO888888o (<
`.`.;:oO08c{)/ | PLUS THERE'S ONE COMPARING PROGRAMMING LANGUAGES
`.`.(),0 / / TO DIFFERENT NEIGHBORHOODS IN BOSTON
`.`.`/ /
`.( /
%
. . . MAKING THE BAND: THE DUMBEST IDEA FOR A SHOW EVER
\ / \ / \ /
_\/_ _\/_ _\/_ SURVIVOR: THE SECOND DUMBEST IDEA FOR A SHOW EVER
| | | | | |
|____| |____| |____| AND COP ROCK GETS THE BRONZE
jg _||_ _||_ _||_
%
.-.
..'-'.. < {> TODAY IS AN EXCELLENT DAY
|| || \ }/ FOR PUTTING THINGS UP ME
|||) || .--.''.--. .---.
|||X || | | || ||
|| || |Tissues | ||~||
||___||_ |________| ||_|| HINT HINT
(_):======= oo
ldb
%
_________________
/ __ \
| (__) | WELP JUST GOT A VOICEMAIL ON MY CELL PHONE
| | THAT WAS FROM A CREDIT CARD PHISHING SCAM
| .-----. .--. |
| | | / \ |
| '-----' \ / |
| | | |
| LI LI LI | | |
| LI LI LI | | |Oo
| LI LI LI | | |Òo
| LI LI LI | | | Oo
| | | | Oo
| .------. / \ | oO
| | | \ / | Oo
| '------' '-oO | oO
| .---Oo | Oo
| || ||Òo oO
| |'--'| | OoO
| '----' | MUST BE THE ZIONAZIS
jgs \_________________/
%
_ _
//\ /\\
// \______ / \\
// / \ \\ FINALLY A NEW FANCY USER INTERFACE
// / \ \\ FOR STEAM WHICH IS ALL PRETTIER AND
// / sSSSs \ \\ FANCIER WHILE IT ALWAYS SITS IN
//_ / sSSSsSs \ _\\ THE BACKGROUND, NEVER TO BE VIEWED
//`_\ Ss. . s /_,\\
// \` Ss\ _ /Ss , / \\
// / \ \sSs_) (_sSs/ / \ \\
// / \_|_ \ / _|_/ \ \\
\\ / sS\ _^_ /ss \ //
\\/ ) ( \//
`==========================='
drx/ejm
%
,
,;;,.
;;;;;; LADY GAGA MIGHT BE CELIBATE ???? WHAT DIFFERENCE DOES IT MAKE
;; ;; ;
_;; o;o; WE CAN'T EVEN TELL WHAT GENDER SHE IS ANYWAY
/ __`` ` \
`.\ \ `-...--. TELL YOU WHAT I HAVE A WAY TO TEST
.\,\ ./---'
.\)'.___.'N POKE HER WITH A BROOMSTICK,
.\_.- THEN SEE WHICH HOLE IT GOES INTO
---' BP
%
____ .
###%###%####
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/\._.## %__ %E%E%E%EE%%EE
_.-' \ / ## '-. %E%E%E%E%%EE%%
/ \ \/ ## | %E%E%E%EE%EEEE
|\ \ / /## |/\ %E%EEEE%EEE%%%%
| | / | ## | | /%EEEE%EE%%EEEEEE
| / | / %% / | | / %%EEEEEEEEEEE'
| | / / ##% | \ | .Y
|.|-/\-/-__## /\ \._.--.,-' /
|/%%%%%/%\%##%| \ _/ | /'
%(%%%%(%%%|##%| \ |/
|%\%%%%|%%%\#%%| \ _.-/
/|%%\%%%/%%%%|%/| '_ ._-/
/ |%%%|''|%%%%\ | "---./
| |%%%%\ |%%%%%| \
/ /%%%%| |%%%%%\ |
| |%%%%%| |%%%"""' | OKAY OKAY FINE I GUESS WITH ALL
\ |%%%%%%| -'' | THESE BULLSHIT CENSUS PEOPLE
/ \|%%%%%%| || | BUGGING ME CONSTANTLY I'LL FUCKING
/ /|%%%%%%| || | FILL IT OUT
____/ / |%%%%%%- | || ^ |
/ ./ |%%-' | || |
--- > _/ |%| | | | || | I THINK THIS TIME I'LL BE AN ASIAN
-" \\ | | | || | | | WOMAN WITH FOUR CHILDREN
/ | | | | | |
| | | | | | |
| | | | |/ |
| /| \ | \ |
|/=| | |
||=| | |
||=\ | |
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" bonnnie
%
)
( ( RON PAUL RAND PAUL RON PAUL RAND PAUL RON PAUL RAND
) ))) PAUL RON PAUL RAND PAUL RON PAUL RAND PAUL RON PAUL
((((( RAND PAUL RON PAUL RAND PAUL RON PAUL RAND PAUL RON
( )))))) PAUL RAND PAUL RON PAUL RAND PAUL RON PAUL RAND PAUL
)(((((( RON PAUL RAND PAUL RON PAUL RAND PAUL RON PAUL RAND
((,````)) PAUL RON PAUL RAND PAUL RON PAUL RAND PAUL RON PAUL
:(.)(.): RAND PAUL RON PAUL RAND PAUL RON PAUL RAND PAUL RON
( \\\ ) PAUL RAND PAUL RON PAUL RAND PAUL RON PAUL RAND PAUL
(,\\\\ RON PAUL RAND PAUL RON PAUL RAND PAUL RON PAUL RAND
`.||||| PAUL RON PAUL RAND PAUL RON PAUL RAND PAUL RON PAUL
\ | RAND PAUL RON PAUL RAND PAUL RON PAUL RAND PAUL RON
) / PAUL RAND PAUL RON PAUL RAND PAUL RON PAUL RAND PAUL
ejm /\ / RON PAUL RAND PAUL RON PAUL RAND PAUL RON PAUL RAND
/ \ PAUL RON PAUL RAND PAUL RON PAUL RAND PAUL RON PAUL
/ RAND PAUL RON PAUL RAND PAUL RON PAUL RAND PAUL RON
%
_.--._
,' `. I GOT A CALL FROM AN INSULIN JUNKIE TODAY
/ __) __` \
( (`-`(-') )
/) \ _ / ( BUT IT'S THE FAT KIND NOT THE
/' )-._.' . \ ___ GREW-UP-WITH-IT-AS-A-CHILD KIND
( ,--., `.)___(___)
)( /-.,--'\ _ \X/`
'/ .'/ \ ( Uu")\ SO I DID NOT RETURN THE CALL
/ / \ `/,-' )
( ^ , ,^ )`._.'
( `. Y .' )
\ `. )\.' / )
)`._.'=='._.' (
/ ) Ojo/VK/FS/ejm
( ."-.
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| \`-.__.--"v" |
`.' \ |, ,
/ `._/ :
/ | '
/ /| /
/ | /
%
_
/`_>
/ / WHATEVER HAPPENED TO HARRY ANDERSON ANYWAY
|/
____| __
| \.-`` )
|---``\ _.'
.-`'---``_.'
(__...--`` gnv
%
,
\`.__. WHY DOES ANYONE GIVE A SHIT AT ALL ABOUT RUSSELL BRAND ANYWAY
`._,'
shimrod
%
.-----.
,' - - `.
_ _____/ <q> <p> \_____ _
/_|| ||`-._____.-`|| ||-\
/ _||===|| ||===|| _\ I GOT AN ANDROID AND WHAT THE FUCK
|- _||===||===========||===||- _| IT'S NOT EVEN HUMAN-SHAPED
\___||___||___________||___||___/
\\|/// \_:_:_:_:_:_/ \\\|//
| _| |_________| | _|
| _| /( ======= )\ | _|
\\||// /\ `-.___.-' /\ \\||//
(o ) /_ '._______.' _\ ( o)
/__/ \ | _| |_ _| / \__\
///\_/ |_ _| | _| \_/\\\
///\\_\ \ _/ \ _/ /_//\\\
\\|//_/ ///|\\\ ///|\\\ \_\\|//
\\\|/// \\\|///
/- _\\ // _\
| _|| ||- _| I WAS HOPING FOR A FUCK TOY AND
,/\____|| || ___/\, I ALL GOT WAS THIS STUPID PHONE
/|\___`\,| |,/'___/|\
|||`.\\ \\ // //,'|||
\\\\_//_// \\_\\_//// LGB/fsc
%
/=/
__/=/ COGITO ERGO SUM
/::/|
_/::/ /
/_~/||/
[__]/|'
/ ///
(o)|/ "I THINK, THEREFORE I ..."
y// WAIT WHAT WAS THAT A TRAIN WHIST--
/=/
/=/ :F_P:
%
__________ ,. ,.
,','.___.,',`. `.\ /,' ___________
/ /.____./ / \ \ \\ // ,''..-------..``.
: : : : : : \// :`-..._____...-':
[ |.____.| ] | ] //\ |`-..._____...-'|
| | | | | | // \\ | | | |
[ |.____.| ] | ] // \\ |] | | [|
| | | | | | // \\ | [] [] |
: :.____.: : ; ; // \\ | | ___ | |
\ \.____.\ \ / / // \\ :`-.:._]|[_.:.-';
`.`.____.`.`,' SSt `' SSt `' `-...|SSt|...-'
POOR ?UESTLOVE
YOU'D THINK HE COULD FIND A BETTER GIG

THAN BEING A PART OF JIMMY FALLON'S BAND
I SUPPOSE THERE ARE WORSE THINGS (LIKE PAUL SHEFFER)

%
_______
| _ | THERE'S A REASON THAT LITTLE KIDS PLAY SOCCER AS A SPORT
o |_o=-- |
() o IT'S BECAUSE IT'S SHITTY AND RETARDED AND BORING
SM |\,
%
.d88b.
888888 NO I DO NOT KNOW WHAT A JUGGALO IS
'988P' AND NO I DO NOT CARE TO FIND OUT
/""\ NOW GO AWAY AND DIE SOONER RATHER THAN LATER
.;.__.;.
( """" ).
}{{'------'}{}
{(s _. ._ s)}
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\'-'/ PjP
'-'
%
,==.
\\// I DON'T MEAN TO BE BLUNT BUT QUITE FRANKLY
.-~~-. IF YOU WANTED IT THEN YOU REALLY
,",-""-.". SHOULD HAVE PUT A RING ON IT
| | | |
| | .-"| |.
". `,",-" ,'.".
`| |_,-' | |
| | | | hjw
". `-._,-' ."
`-.___,-'
%
/`._ ,
/ \ / \
) ,-==-> /\/ \ MAYBE I SHOULD HAVE PICKED A
)__\\/ // \ | BETTER SAFE WORD THAN "MORE"
/ /' \// | |
/ ( /|/ | /
/ //| /,'
// / (( ) '
// // \ |
// (#) |
/ )\/ \ ' ____
/ /#/ ) /,.__\__,,--=_,
/ \#\ /) __/ + \____,--==<
//gnv_____/#/_/' (\_\__+/_, ---<^
'==--=='
%
(
) ) CAULK: THE UNIVERSAL PROBLEM SOLVER
_(______
(________) JUST FILL THE HOOKER'S MOUTH AND NOSE
) ( WITH IT UNTIL SHE STOPS YELLING AND
/ \ PROBLEM SOLVED
___| |___
()__\___ _ __/__()
.`/``||``\`.
jgs ()/ () $)
NOTE: MANAGEMENT APOLOGIZES FOR THE
ASCII ART OF THE CAULDRON PICTURED LEFT
AS NO PROPER IMAGES OF CAULKING GUNS
WERE EASILY FOUND
%
( )
( ) (
) _ ) HERE'S MY GUEST BLOGGER FOR THIS WEEK (PICTURED LEFT)
( \_
_(_\ $__
(____\___))
Krogg98
%
,-.
( \()Oo
`-,---.
.-. \ |
oO()/ ) \ \ NOTHING GROWS HERE EXCEPT FOOTPRINTS
,--- ,-' |_/
| / ,-.
/ _/ |_/
\_/
,-.
\_/ s-v
%
.::.
.;:**' AMC
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oMMMMMMMMMMM ~MM dMMP :MMMMMR MMM MR ~MRMN
QMMMMMb "MMX MMMMMMP !MX' :M~ MMM MMM .oo. XMMM 'MMM
`MMMM. )M> :X!Hk. MMMM XMM.o" . MMMMMMM X?XMMM MMM>!MMP
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MMMX "MMMM" MM ~%: !Mh.""" dMI IMMP
'MMM. IMX
~M!M IMP
IS THERE A POKEMON NAMED "PEDERAST" AND IF NOT WHY NOT

%
____
/ \
| STOP | NOBODY LIKES A QUITTER
\ __ /
||
||
||
|| WELL, EXCEPT FOR PEOPLE WHO GET OFF ON QUITTING I GUESS
||
~~~~~~~
%
_____
| D I'M ALL OUT OF HELEN KELLER JOKES
| |
| |
\___| _
|| _______ -( (-
|_'(-------) '-'
| /
_____,-\__..__|_____Pr59
%
__, .
.-.="j. "-:._.f "_ HEY IDIOT FUCKING ASPIE DIPSHITS:
." __."" "-'.;" "._f".
.g88s..g88s.g88s..;g88s..g88s..g88s.
68888968888988889;688889688889688889 SCHIZOPHRENICS AND SOCIOPATHS AND
"^88^""^88^"^88^";:"^88^"^88^""Y888^" PSYCHOPATHS AND CHILD MOLESTERS
ft][tftf][ftt][tfjjd][jddj][jdjj][dj AND RAPISTS AND MURDERERS AND
" ][ " "][ ""][ /\"][ "" ][" ""][" SERIAL KILLERS ARE ALL
/ \ "NEURODIVERSE" TOO
/ \
/ \ fsc
/ \
%
,-----.
,'_/_|_\_`.
/<<::8[O]::>\ FORCING R2D2 TO BLOW ME, MAKING C3PO WATCH
_|-----------|_
:::| | ====-=- | |:::
:::| | -=-==== | |:::
:::\ | ::::|()|| /:::
::::| | ....|()|| |::::
| |_________| |
| |\_______/| | MAN ALIVE WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
/ \ / \ / \
Don `---' `---' `---'
%
__i
|---| FLIP PHONES ARE GOOD ENOUGH FOR JACK BAUER
|[_]| SO THEY SHOULD BE GOOD ENOUGH FOR ANYBODY
|:::|
|:::| I DISCOUNT HIS TREO IN THE LATER SEASONS
`\ \ AS THEY'RE CLEARLY NONCANONICAL
\_=_\
jsm
%
.-----------. .------------.
:`.__________` :`.____________` .-----.._
'.'_.------._.' `.|__.-------..' |`-..___.'|
| ||__..| | |-._ __ | | |.... || |-._`--..__ |.'---.
.::/ / | | | | ___ `-| | | _ || | | | | | | \ `.
_.-.` -`.|_| `.|.' /`. `. '.|_\ `|.' | | | | || `. `.
'. `. `- _ _ | `.__` _ _ `.|.' | ||`. \ \
| `. __`. _ _ `. | | `-- _ _ '.|| \ `.____.
/`. | | .'`---...____ `'---' _ _ _ | | `.|_..-'
| /`|__.' |`---...___ . | `-- ______________________`.|_| | ` |
| | | '| `---...____|.' _ |`._-_______-______-_____`. | | |
.| | | | _ | | | | | '| `- '.| ' ' ' ' ' ' ' ' ' || | |
' `| | | / | | |'| | _ |'.__.-------.__.-----.__.'| | .- |\
| | |' | | | | | | | `-- _ | |..| | |''| -| |::| `.|_..-' |
\ `|_.' _ | | |_| '. | .`-._ | | | - | | | _ | | | `-- .'
'. | | | | | | |`. `. _ | | | _ | | | | | | _ `.
'-. _ '._|.' | | | | `.__`. | | | __ | | |__ | | | `-- _ |
`''''. _ `-.|.' '. | | `|__| ___ `.|__| _ `.|__| /
LGB : _ _ `.|_.-' `- _ _ .'
`-._______.::.__ `- _ _ ___.:::.__.-'
`----.....__..------------`
LADY GAGA ISN'T EVEN HOLDING THOSE ASSAULT RIFLES CORRECTLY

%
_______ I'VE NEVER REALLY GOTTEN INTO SOCCER BUT I'VE BEEN
| _ | WATCHING THE WORLD CUP AND I'VE GOT TO ADMIT IT'S
o |_o=-- | REALLY GROWING ON ME !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
() o
SM |\, ^
/|\
|
|
|
A PHRASE THAT, SHOULD YOU EVER HEAR,

AUTHORIZES YOU TO SHOOT THE SPEAKER ON SIGHT
%
____ _
/////|\\
``````\\\ IF A GIRL STICKS HER FINGER UP YOUR BUTT
`/` ))) DOES THAT MAKE YOU GAY ???
\`, (((
`--- ,\\\ I DON'T MEAN TO RUSH YOU BUT I
,---/ )),))) REALLY NEED TO KNOW KIND OF QUICKLY HERE
/ , `(( (((
`--. ) `__)) ________
| | ,-./\ \ _,-'
\ \__,-. \ \,-'
/`.__,-'_,-\ `-.
/ \____`--'____________
| \ Starshine
%
.----.
===(_)==
// 6 6 \\ DOCTOR'S APPOINTMENT TODAY !!!!!!11
( 7 )
\ '--' / TIME TO SEE HOW MY LIVER IS
\_ ._/
__) (__
/"`/`\`V/`\`\
/ \ `Y _/_ \
/ [DR]\_ |/ / /\
| ( \/ / / /
\ \ \ / WELP TURNS OUT IT'S COVERED IN GLITTER AND
\ `-/` _.` HAS SILVER AND GOLD STICKERS ALL OVER IT
jgs `=. `=./
`"` SO DRINKS ARE ON ME !!!!!!!!!!!!!!1111111111111111
%
_
|_t+.__________________......_ /;_
;________________/ : \ t""o.\__
:---|------------------t-----^-`--' / I SURE HOPE WE'RE ALL WATCHING
\__L___________________\____________\ PENN POINT REGULARLY (GUN TO HEAD)
""-. o .--. \--'/ l .-t+.
\ ( l) ;"" : /
l `--" o; Y
"""""";: .-. :\
:: '-' ;\
;; : ;
:: bug ;|
;'-------';
'"------""
%
::: =, ;
;;=;;=== M
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;.,:,..... ....,,,,,,,,,,,,,:;;;==YYMRMMMMMM;
....... .,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,::;;;=YtVBMMMMM
;t ... .,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,::;;i=RiRMMMMM
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:VMM .,,,,,,,,,,,,:,,,::;;=
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,,== WWT `,,,,,,,
JUPITER'S BAND IS FADING BECAUSE OF MY JIZZ
SORRY TO SAY IT SO BLUNTLY BUT I FIGURE

IT'S BEST IF YOU HEAR IT ME FROM FIRST RATHER
THAN FROM KECK OR JODREL BANK OR MAUNA KEA
%
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXFEDERAL RESERVE NOTEXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
XXX XX THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA XXX XX
XXXX XX ------- ------------ XXXX XX
XXXX XX / jJ===-\ \ C7675 XXXX XX
XXXXXX OOO / jJ - - L \ --- XXXXXX
XXXXX OOOOO | JJ | X | __ XXXXX
XXX 3 OOO | JJ --- X | OOOO 3 XXX
XXX | J|\ /| | OOOOOO XXX
XXX C36799887 | / | | \ | OOOO XXX
XXX | | | | -- XXX
XXX ------- \ / \ / XXX
X XX \ ____________ / X XX
XX XXX 3_________ -------- ___ _______ 3 XXX XX
XX XXX ___ ONE DOLLAR i XXX XX
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
Ss
YOU KNOW WHY MONEY SMELLS GREAT ?????
BECAUSE IT SMELLS LIKE ASS
WELL MINE DOES ANYWAY BECAUSE I SHOVE IT UP MY
WELL
YOU KNOW
%
. . . . |--|--|--|--|--|--| |===|==| / i
. ______________|__|__|__|__|__|_ | |===|==| * . /=\
__ * . /______________________________|-| |===|==| |=| .
__| . . . //______________________________| :----------------------.
__| /|\ _|_|// ooooooooooooooooooooo |-| |
__| |/|\|__ ||l|/,-------8 8 -| | IS VAGINA TOWN |
__|._|/|\|||.l |[=|/,-------8 8 -|-| |
__|[+|-|-||||li|[=|---------8 8 -| | |
_-----.|/| //:\_[=|\`-------8 8 -|-| |
/| /||//8/ : 8_|\`------ 8ooooooooooooooooooo8 -| | EVEN A REAL PLACE |
/=| //||/ | . | |\\_____________ ____ _________|-| |
==|//|| / . \ \\_____________ |X| | _________| `---==------------==---'
==| || / \ \_____________ |X| \| _________| || ||
==| |~ / . \
LS|/ / \______________________________________________________
%
_____
_.'_____`._
.'.-' 12 `-.`. MY NEW ANDROID CAN SOMEHOW DETERMINE ITS ABSOLUTE
/,' 11 1 `.\ POSITION IN SPACE AND TIME WHICH I THINK KIND OF
// 10 / 2 \\ VIOLATES RELATIVITY
;; / ::
|| 9 ----O 3 ||
:: ;;
\\ 8 4 //
\`. 7 5 ,'/
'.`-.__6__.-'.'
((-._____.-)) THIS WOULD MAKE BABY EINSTEIN CRY
_)) ((_
'--'SSt '--'
%
_
, L\ IS IT LEGAL TO BEAT OFF TO A PORNSTAR WHOSE STAGE NAME
\/OO\ CONSISTS OF THE FIRST AND MIDDLE NAMES OF YOUR MOTHER ????
|/ \
/_\ `
AP _\ |_ SPECIFICALLY IN MY CASE OF COURSE I'M REFERRING TO KODY KOXXX
%
-. . .-.
' / / ./ WORLD WAR I WAS KIND OF A COOL
_ __, .--' / < WAR I GUESS WHAT WITH ALL THOSE
~_-~ / < < \_ .-~7 IDIOT FUCKING EUROPEANS JUST
_. \ > \.-'\ >` ~ .-~ SLAUGHTERING EACH OTHER BUT
< >< / , 7 < ~7 HOLY GOD DID IT HAVE A PANTLOAD
/_/ ! \ .-L \ _// <'~ OF GAY POETRY COME OUT OF IT
~ .-~ ! ! /o& `' . 7
_>_._ > _.-' '-._.-._.--./
'-~ ~._/ .'
,-.-' .-~<
< __/ > -'
\ -~ ___--/
7 .. . /_// \__
! _.-. .. < ~v~ ' \
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) > o < > \ \_.--._ |O | .__,--_
/ .-' <> \ \ 7 . ' ) / d . _> /.
7 > . - ' > _\ ! _,-' `. \ /.._ .) <
~--,.--' ._ /.- ~` < \ . \ ` |< \ `-.__/
7/ ~ \.,< . ` `-~-.-~ | / \__//.--...<|
__ . ` '-.__\\ - ' '--~|/
%
..--""|
| |
| .---' BUTTHOLES, ETC.
(\-.--| |---------.
/ \) \ | | \ ABSOLUTELY THE WORST NAME EVER
|:. | | | | FOR A MAILBOX AND PRINTING SERVICE
|:. | |o| |
|:. | `"` |
|:. |_ __ __ _ __ /
`""""`""|=`|"""""""`
|=_| OKAY WELL I ADMIT UNITED SHITTING SERVICE
jgs |= | WAS A LITTLE WORSE BUT STILL
%
___
.-'' ''-. YOU KNOW WHAT THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN
.' '. LEMONADE AND PINK LEMONADE IS ?????
/ . - ; - . \
( ' `-._|_,'_,.- )
',,.--_,4"-;_ ,' AIDS
'-.; \ _.-'
'''''
sjw/itz
%
__ __
/.-' `-.\ I WAS WALKING TO THE GROCERY STORE AND
// \\ TWO GIRLS WALKED PAST ME AND SAID "HI"
/j_______________j\ BUT I HAD TO IGNORE THEM SINCE I BROKE
/o.-==-. .-. .-==-.o\ MY GLASSES SO I COULDN'T TELL IF THEY
|| )) (( || WERE UGLY OR NOT AND JESUS CHRIST WHY
\\____// \\____// TAKE A CHANCE SO IGNORE CITY HERE WE COME
hjw `-==-' `-==-'
%
.-'"""''---.___
.' "'-.___ SO WHAT'S UP WITH
_' _'-"'""" """- JAPANESE PEOPLE
/ 7 .'" "->
. .| _-' '. BETWEEN ANIME, MANGA,
. .'" : '. _.------._ '' HENTAI, BUKKAKE,
. - . .' .-' "- .' \ : TENTACLE PORN, COSPLAY,
| ' > .'.''"\"- .'\"_' AND ALL THAT OTHER SHIT
|' < .' :__/ : :_.':'
.--'-._ : .--: -._.' '._.' WHAT'S THE DEAL ?!?!?
'> '. '. | ' .' :
'. :' '-'.____ .__. ' TOO MUCH RADIATION .....
/ : :. .'
\. / | '"-_ __-'
\.'-'"' .'"":'' :-""""'.
: : .
| : :
| : .''. :
|.'. _.: '.:
| '---'"" : :"
| ' : :
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. ' '"'. '
| : ' :
: . : ' :
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.' . "-: : ' ..-" :
( '- : :._: / _.--"""--._
' '. _....: : . / .-' '.
' : ."" ""'-' /-" )
'._ : : ..-' /
'-._ \'' _ .'""""""'-. _.-
.'--.__ .' ' - ____.-'
: "":-.._______.' ...... OR NOT ENOUGH ?!?!?
'-.....-'''
%
((\
( _ ,-_ \ \
) / \/ \ \ \ \ TURNS OUT SPAMMERS TAKE WEEKENDS OFF
( /)| \/\ \ \| | BUT NOT UNITED STATES FEDERAL HOLIDAYS
`~()_______)___)\ \ \ \ \ |
|)\ ) `' | | |
/ /, |
| | /
| | /
\ /
\ /
) /
/ /
ejm / / WEIRD HUH
/
%
,-,
,',' `,
WHO KEEPS SAYING "TITS" AT THE END OF ,' , ,','
BATTLEFIELD: BAD COMPANY 2 ROUNDS ,' ,' ,'
INSTEAD OF "GG" AS IS PROPER ETIQUETTE ,' ,', ,'
,' , ,,'
,' ,', ,'
HINT: ME ,' , , ,'
__,',___','
__,,,,,,,------""""_ __,-"""""_`=--
_..---.____.--'''''''''''_,---' _; --' ___,-'___
,':::::,--.::'''''' ''''''' ___,--' __,-'; __,-"""
;:::::,' |::'' '''' '===)-' __; _,--' ;---''
|:: @,' ;:;\ ''''==== =),--'_,-' ` )) ;
`:::' _;:/ `._=== ===)_,-,-' ` ) ` ;
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' `-:. ` ` ` ) ) ,'`-.. \
`:_ ` ` ) _,' | :
`-._ ` _-- _,-' | :
`----..\ \' | |
_\ \ | :
_____ jrei _,--'__,-' : : _______
()___ '-------.....__,'_ --'___________ _,--'--\\-'''' _____
`-------.....______\\______ _________,--._-'---''''
`=='
%
YOU KNOW WHAT POSSIBLY THE COOLEST WORD EVER IS ????///
,-------. /
,' `. ,--'
,' `. ,-;-- _.-
pow! / \ ---;-' _.=.---''
+-------------+ ; X X ---=-----'' _.-------
| ----- |--| \-----=---:i-
+XX|'i:'''''''' : ;`--._ ''---':----
/X+-) \ \ / / ''--._ `-
.XXX|) `. `. ,' ,' ''---.
X\/) `. '---' ,' `-
\ `---+---'
\ |
\. |
`-------------------+
SUICIDALITY
%
____
&&&&&&\\
/ \&&&(/
),> &&|\
\_ &&| ) I'M NOT A ***HOOKER*** I'M A ***CALL GIRL***
_ ) &.'/
/ )__|/
/./| _)_)
( | \.--|
\| ) !|
/| /.__|_______
(_// .\_/______ )
_________( )|______________
____________'..____.-'/ ||____________
_|___|___|___|___|___( ||__|___|___|_
_|___|___|___|___|_ \ |||___|___|_
_|___|___|___|___| )||__|___|_
/ ||
PB \|
%
___
_ _.-"_< }
""--"" 7( I CALL IT THE *LAME*STREAM MEDIA
/())
/ )/
^ ( \
/ /
/.' GET IT ?!?!?!?!? GHAGLHGALHGALHAGHLAGLHAGHAG
//
______/L___ sexii
%
___()___
_.-'' ,-'`-. ``-._
,-' ,' `. `-.
,' ,' `. `.
/ / \ \
/_ / \ _\
``-./_..---'''|``---.._\,-''
|
| VUVUZELA /
|
| ELLA / ELLA / ELLA /
|
| EH / EH / EH
|
, |
`..' SSt
%
"= =" MEL GIBSON IS JUST MISUNDERSTOOD
| |
. _| |_ .
// \\ti// \\
%
(\ /)
(v\ /v) SINGULARITY HAS SOMEHOW MANAGED
(vvv\ /vvv) TO MAKE TIMESHIFT SEEM REALISTIC,
(vvvvv\ /vvvvv) SENSIBLE, AND RESPECTABLE
(vvvvvvv\ /vvvvvvv)
(vvvvvvvvv\ _---_ /vvvvvvvvv)
(vvvvvvvvvvv\/ XII \/vvvvvvvvvvv)
(vvvvvvvvvvvv/ / \vvvvvvvvvvvv)
(vvvvvvvvvv|IX @ III |vvvvvvvvvv)
(vvvvvvvvvv\ \ /vvvvvvvvvv)
(vvvvvv/ \vvvvvv)
(vvvvv/ \vvvvv)
(vvv/ \vvv)
ejm97 (v/ \v)
(/ \)
%
-. .
_____ ',' ,
,' ,' ', ', MY BALLS ARE A RUSSIAN SPY
,' ,' | |
\ \ | |
\ /^\ \ ,' ,'
\ \ ,' ,'
/ ~-.___\.-' ,'
/ .______.- ~ \
/ /' \ \ WELL TWO SPIES I GUESS
\./ \/'
%
,-"""""--,-"") (""-,--"""""-. KENNY G. VS. PRINCE !!!!!!!!!!!!!!
:| \; '| |' :/ |: CAREFULLY FOLLOWING EVERY LITTLE
;| :",_,: : "\| `-|;" : :,_,": |; DETAIL OF THIS IMPORTANT STORY
ctr |_|| |_| J L |_| ||_| !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1111111 DIARRHEA
%
___ ____ ________
,"_ ,`==='`.'__....__`--.
,',' | ,o@@@@@@@@@@o. \
, /___| d@/@@@@@@@@@@@@b \ ROGER EBERT IS A FAT OLD COOT WHOSE
|| "| d@/@@@@@@@@@@@@@@b| ONLY REAL ARTISTIC ACCOMPLISHMENT IS
|| ()|| ,@/@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@: WRITING HORRIBLY SHITTY BIG TIT PORN
|| , || @@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@ (THIS IS WHY GOD STOLE HIS CHIN)
||(|)|| '@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@//D
|| ' || '@@@@@@@@@@@@@@/@P
|| , || `@@@@@@@@@@@@/@'|
||(|)|| CCD `@@@@@@@@@@' |
|| ' | '----------'"""""_, |
|| , |`. S O N Y | |
:|(|)| | | |
`| '| ::............:: , SO WHY DOES ANYONE GIVE A SHIT WHAT
|\__| ::::::::::::::::----" HE THINKS ABOUT VIDEO GAMES ???????
: '::::::::::::::'
\ ; Bob_R
`---------------"
%
\| ...
-:. //||\\ _.
`::::' Q Q ``::::::+.
._"__.' \
____ `==' _._
.' `
.' .:- .-. `
.' '.') ' _` /||.
__.--|_.' ' : ( \/' /\\
/,=-U' ' : `. `. /U
' ' . ( -._.---"
....-----( ' . ` -.
) .:\:::\ '`. ` ` .' VERY EXCITING !!!!!!! A WHOLE
_ ( .:::::::::....--`--..-' \ HOUR SHOW TO FIND OUT WHAT
( ``-.\:::'' \ \ TEAM LEBRON JAMES IS GOING TO
\\ ""\\-' `..:.\ !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1
`:-=/) `(::)
` .:::/
a:f_______________________________ |::/ _________
______... .."\\/
.......------"""""" __.. . \\ -. _ . NOBODY GIVES A FUCKING SHIT
__..--'' .-' `+ () `-'
__..---""" ..........|_ `-. .
'' ....:::::::::::::.\.' ) .
.-' ````::::::''''.""" .
.-' . .
. .
%
_,. ___. .
____ ,._ --=:_ *: ======((|_L]_ \\
c:____]((=- :* _:=- - - - - `' (__(____) \\
/ // ___ `' ,._ \\___.
/ // _/_/_]=== :* _:=-- ,. ___. _((|_L]_
_/ //_.(_(_)(_).. `' --=: *: ======((|_L]_ _/(__(\_ _)\_
/____\_\ `.... `' (__(____)
cjr
MY NEOSTEAD 2000 BRINGS ALL THE BOYS TO THE YARD

%
)
,%, ) _(___[]_
%%%,&&&, ,%%, (;` /\
%Y/%&&&& %%%% ___/_____)__/ _\__ ,%%,
^^^||^&\Y&^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^%Y/%^^/ (_() ( | /____/\^^^%%%%^^
` || _,..=xxxxxxxxxxxx, || |(' |LI (.)I| | LI || %\Y%
-= /L_Y.-"""""""""`,-n-. ` @'---|__||___|_|____||_ ||
___-=___.--'[========]|L]J: []\ __________@//@___________) )______
-= _ _ _ |/ _ ''_ " " ||[ -_ 4 | _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
'-(_)-(_)----'v'-(_)--'
jgs-----------------------------------------------------------------
EVER SPRAY JIZZ SO HARD IT'S LIKE AN UNCONTROLLABLE FIREHOSE
OKAY MAYBE A GARDEN HOSE
OKAY MAYBE A GARTER SNAKE

%
___ ____ ________
,"_ ,`==='`.'__....__`--.
,',' | ,o@@@@@@@@@@o. \ TODAY'S FILMING DAY !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
, /___| d@/@@@@@@@@@@@@b \
|| "| d@/@@@@@@@@@@@@@@b|
|| ()|| ,@/@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@:
|| , || @@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@
||(|)|| '@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@//D
|| ' || '@@@@@@@@@@@@@@/@P
|| , || `@@@@@@@@@@@@/@'|
||(|)|| CCD `@@@@@@@@@@' |
|| ' | '----------'"""""_, |
|| , |`. S O N Y | | BE SURE TO MAKE VIDEOS OF ALL YOUR FUCKING
:|(|)| | | |
`| '| ::............:: , >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> DOGSHIT <<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<
|\__| ::::::::::::::::----"
: '::::::::::::::'
\ ; Bob_R
`---------------"
%
(>,
,<)oo |\ FUCK FAGGOTS.
/ 88 "}| \
| `., ., ,' YOU AND 42,359 OTHERS LIKE THIS.
`-.'`')'
) / [UNLIKE] [COMMENT]
/ (__,_
| (-,/
.' ) /
`._,\ '`-
`\
-`'
-- - - --- VK/ejm
%
_ _
//\ /\\
// \______ / \\ FINALLY
// / \ \\
// / \ \\ DR. DRE FINALLY GIVES HIS
// / sSSSs \ \\ ENDORSEMENT TO WINDOWS 7
//_ / sSSSsSs \ _\\
//`_\ Ss. . s /_,\\
// \` Ss\ _ /Ss , / \\
// / \ \sSs_) (_sSs/ / \ \\
// / \_|_ \ / _|_/ \ \\
\\ / sS\ _^_ /ss \ //
\\/ ) ( \//
`==========================='
drx/ejm
%
_,..---..,_ INTERNATIONAL PI DAY !!!!!!! BLAM
,-"` .'. `"-,
(( '.'.' ))
`'-.,_ ' _,.-'`
jgs `\ `"""""` /` PI IS A REALLY BAD IDEA AND SHOULD
`""-----""` BE REPLACED WITH TAU !!!!!11 BLAM BLAM BLAM BLAM
%
-------------------------------------------------------------------------,
[] [] [] [] [] [] [] [] [] [] [] [] [] [] [] [] [] [] [] [] [] [] [] [] [
-----------------------------------------------------------------------/
\|/ | O - ^^ | | _ _ |
--O--|/ \ O ^^ | ^^ ||||| | ___ ( ) ( ) _/
/\ /|\ | --|-- | ^^ |O=O| |_ __/_|_\,_|___|___/
/ \/\ |~~~~~~~~~~~|~~~~~~| ( - ) | `-O---O-' |
/\ \/\_| / \ | .-~~~-. | -- -- -- -- -- /
/ /\ \ | ' ` | //| o |\\ |______________ |
--------------------------------------------------------------_/
[] [] [] [] [] [] [] [] [] [] [] [] [] [] [] [] [] [] [] [] ['
------------------------------------------------------------' OTMK
SPOILER ALERT! ROLLOVER TO VOTE OR VIEW PLOT KEYWORDS!
DOGSHIT | DOGSHIT | DOGSHIT | DOGSHIT | DOGSHIT | DOGSHIT | DOGSHIT

%
, YES I PLAY GAMES AND NO I AM NOT PLAYING STARCRAFT II
/( ___________
| >:===========` I'LL GIVE IT A TRY WHEN I'M DAMN GOOD AND READY THANKS
)(
jgs "" MEANWHILE: BEATING YOU WITH THIS HAMMER FOR ASKING
%
THIS IS ME AFTER A HORRIBLE HANGOVER
AND POUNDING DOWN RED BULL TO TRY TO RECOVER:
| , . ; .o |
| * o . . |
| @ ' ' |
| () ;: ' |
| * o . . |
| @ ' ' |
| * o . . |
| @ ' ' |
| , . ; :. |
| * 8 . . |
| , . ; . |
| * o . . |
| () ;: : |
| , . ; .. |
| @ ' ' |
| , . ; .o |
| * o . . |
| @ ' ' |
| () ;: ' |
| * o . . |
| @ ' ' |
| * o . . |
| @ ' ' |
| , . ; :. |
| * 8 . . |
| , . ; . |
| * o . . |
| () ;: : |
| , . ; .. |
| @ ' ' |
| , . ; .o |
| * o . . |
| @ ' ' |
| () ;: ' |
| * o . . |
| @ ' ' |
| * o . . |
| @ ' ' |
| , . ; :. |
| * 8 . . |
| , . ; . |
| * o . . |
| () ;: : |
| , . ; .. |
| @ ' ' |
tQn
WHOA THAT HUGE STREAM OF VOMIT

TASTED LIKE RED BULL AND FAILURE
%
_--_
/ \
( ** )
\ /
| | ........_ ____,,,..---
| | |:::::::::"::^^^^^::::=::::::::::|
| | ,|:::::::::":::::::::::=::::::::::|
| | |:::::::::":::::::::::=:::::::::::|'
| |'^^*|;;;;;;;;_";:::::::::;=------;;;;;/
| | ```-----'''
| |
| | I TRIED APPEASING MY HEMORRHOID
| | WITH THE SUDETENLAND BUT LONG
| | STORY SHORT IT DIDN'T WORK VERY WELL
| |
| |
| |
| |
| |
| |
| |
| |
| |
| |
| |
| |
| |
| |
| |
\\| |//
oooooooooooooooooo~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
%
_____
_.'_____`._
.'.-' 12 `-.`. YOUR KINDLE SOFTWARE IS UPDATING. THIS CAN
/,' 11 1 `.\ TAKE A FEW MINUTES.
// 10 / 2 \\
;; / :: DO *NOT* SUCK A DICK OR FUCK YOUR KINDLE OUT
|| 9 ----O 3 || DURING THE UPDATE PROCESS.
:: ;;
\\ 8 4 // YOUR KINDLE WILL AUTOMATICALLY RESTART AS SOON
\`. 7 5 ,'/ AS THE UPDATE IS COMPLETE, YOU FUCKING FAGGOT.
'.`-.__6__.-'.'
((-._____.-))
_)) ((_
'--'SSt '--'
%
____
/___.`--.____ .--. ____.--(
.'_.- ( ) -._'.
.'.' |'..'| '.'.
.-. .' /'--.__|____|__.--'\ '. .-.
(O).)-| | \ | | / | |-(.(O)
`-' '-'-._'-./ \.-'_.-'-' `-'
_ | | '-.________.-' | | _
.' _ | | | __ | | | _ '.
/ .' ''.| | / \ | |.'' '. \
| |( )| '. || || .' |( )| |
\ '._.' '. | \ / | .' '._.' /
'.__ ______'.|__'--'__|.'______ __.'
.'_.-| |------| |-._'.
//\\ | |--::--| | //\\
// \\ | |--::--| | // \\
// \\| /|--::--|\ |// \\
/ '._.-'/|_______/ |--::--| \_______|\`-._.' \
/ __..--' /__|--::--|__\ `--..__ \
/ / '-.|--::--|.-' \ \
/ / |--::--| \ \
/ / |--::--| \ \
_.-' `-._ _..||.._ _.-` '-._
'--..__..--' LGB '-.____.-' '--..__..-'
HOUSTON WE'VE HAD A PROBEM
TOM HANKS IS IN DRAG AGAIN
OKAY I'M MIXING UP TWO UNRELATED THINGS HERE AREN'T I

SO BE IT
%
|'--' '--'::'--' _ `--`::`--` `--`|
|.__. .__.::.__.: / \ :.__.::.__. .__.|
|'--' '--'::'--': /_|_\ :`--`::`--` `--`|
! :: : ( /'\ ) : :: !
:.__.::.__.::.__.: ///.\> </.\\\ .__.:||__.::.__.:
:'--'::'--'::'--': //(.\> </.)\\ :'--':||--'::'--':
:.__.::.__.::.__.: /(.\> </.)\ :.__.::.__.::.__.:
:'--'::'--'::'--': //.\> </.\\ :'--'::'--'::'--':
:.__.::.__.::.__.: /(.\> </.)\ :.__.::.__.::.__.:
:'--'::'--'::'--':-(/(.\> </.)\)-:'--'::'--'::'--':
:.__.::.__.::.__.:-(//.\> </.\\)-:.__.::.__.::.__.:
:'--'::'--'::'--':-(//.\> </.\\)-:'--'::'--'::'--':
:.__.;;.__.;;.__.:-(//.\> </.\\)-:.__.;;.__.;;.__.:
:'--';;'--';;'--':-(//.\> </.\\)-:'--';;'--';;'--':
:.__.;;.__.;;.__.:-(//.\> </.\\)-:.__.;;.__.;;.__.:
cjr :'--';;'--';;'--':-(//.\> </.\\)-:'--';;'--';;'--':
I HAD A DREAM THAT MY FRIEND MENTIONED THE PERFECT PORN TITLE

AND I COULDN'T WAIT TO GET TO THE COMPUTER AND WHACK OFF TO IT
YES EVEN MY DREAMS REALLY DO AIM THAT FUCKING LOW AND MISS
%
_ _ _ _ ____ ____ _ __ __
/ \ | \ | | / \ / ___| _ \ / \ | \/ |
/ _ \ | \| | / _ \| | _| |_) | / _ \ | |\/| |
/ ___ \| |\ |/ ___ \ |_| | _ < / ___ \| | | |
/_/ \_\_| \_/_/ \_\____|_| \_\/_/ \_\_| |_|
tQn
"ALMOST AN ANAGRAM" IS AN ANAGRAM OF "VAGINA MY ALSATIAN"
WHAT
OH
IT ISN'T AT ALL IS IT
THIS JUST IN: WORDS MEAN THINGS AND I DON'T KNOW

WHAT THE FUCK I'M TALKING ABOUT
%
_.ooo._
. ,dMP"""QMb. .
|vP' _..._ 'Qv| I HAVE PERMANENT DIARRHEA
,d|`." ".'|b.
CM| |MD
`Q|---. ,---|P'
___--'_'---'/
| ,>| ._. ,'
|J__|-._.-' M-K
%
___
/___\_/
|\_/|<\ I'M A WICKED NINJA !!!!!!
(ò`) ` __(\_ |\_
\ ~ /_.-`` _|__) ( ( ( ( /()/
_/`-` _.-`` `\| THROWING BACON AND AIDS STARS
.-` ( .-.
( .- \ / `-._
\ (\_ /\/ `-.__-()
`-|__)__/ / /``-. /_____8
\__/ / `-`
/>| /
/| J L
`` | |
L___J
( | I MEAN EBOLA AND BACON STARS SORRY
.oO()
%
______________________________________
|XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX|
|X ( ( ) ) \ \ X| HEY LET'S GO SNIPE HUNTING
|X .----() ) ( ( )) | |X|
|X/ | ___( ) ) ( )(( ) ) | |X|
|X \V.---( ) /"> ( ( \ )_\\__/ |X|
|X // || ( `-.,---. `X|
|X // || / \ X|
|X\// || \X|
|X | _____/| X|
|X | /,, ,, / X| WAIT THIS IS A FUCKING MOA
|X)| /, ,, ,| X| AND/OR A KIWI AND THOSE ARE
|X | \\|.,-' __ X| REAL (NEARLY UNBELIEVABLY)
|X | |||| ( ^ X|
|X | (| \\ ___ (;(~\X| SO I GUESS I FUCKED UP
|X | ||_ \\_ /"_ \ ("_( "X| THIS GAG BUT GOOD
|X \ (,),)(,),) / \_/ )( X|
|X " "" " " " ^^ " "" X|
|X "" " "" """ "" """ X|
|XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX| snark^
%
.........
:~, * * ~, EINSTEIN SAID THAT GOD DOES NOT PLAY DICE
: ~, * * ~.
: ~........~
: *: : ~'~,
: : : ~' * ~,
~* : * : ,~' * * ~,
~,: :.~,* * ,~ :
~:.........:: ~, * ,~ :
: * ~,,~ * :
:* * * : * :
~, * : * ,~
valkyrie ~, : ,~
~,:,~ BUT MY COCK AND BALLS SURE DO
%
__
(`/\
`=\/\ __...--~~~~~-._ _.-~~~~~--...__
`=\/\ \ / \\ PLEASE READ MY NEW BOOK:
`=\/ V \\
//_\___--~~~~~~-._ | _.-~~~~~~--...__\\
// ) (..----~~~~._\ | /_.~~~~----.....__\\ THE NECRONOMINOM
===( INK )==========\\|//====================
__ejm\___/________dwb`---`____________________________________________
%
/\/\
)) (O\
_.... _ _ ((( \
((( '-\\____)|_.-((( (_ \
))) JRO \ / / \o(/
(((\ / \ / ( /
))) | /_ \ //
((( / / "-..___.-"| |
\ ( \ )
\ \ / |
\_\ |_| I RODE MY KINDLE HARD AND PUT IT AWAY WET
/_\ /_\
%
[ |\';c 'c :',;,'";,': ,-- ==- ,
] | c ;, : '"-"' ; '~ ,-
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; "', :|; ,; ; ,:/ ,
- , ;._ _.-=.,-=" ,=
, -= , '_.-7_.--.,-="' , -= _AsH
EVER HAVE THE PROBLEM WHERE YOUR BALLS CRANK CALL PEOPLE ????
NO ????????????/
WELL I THINK I MIGHT BECAUSE THE POLICE KEEP SAYING CRANK CALLS
ARE COMING FROM MY HOUSE AND I SURE DON'T REMEMBER DOING IT
ALSO APPARENTLY MY BALLS ARE INVOLVED IN CREDIT CARD FRAUD

%
|| ||
|| || I'M A TIE FIGHTER !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11
|| ||
|| ||
|| || DON'T SHOOT AT ME OR ANYTHING
|| ____ || I'M JUST HANGIN' OUT HERE
|| .''''''. ||
|| / __ \ || LA LA LA WHAT DON'T MIND ME
||\__..-': /\/\ :'-..__/||
||=__ =|=' |-()-| '=|= __=||
||/ ''-.: \/\/ :.-'' \||
|| \ "" / ||
|| `.____.' ||
|| ||
|| ||
|| ||
|| ||
|| ||
|| tre ||
%
__________________________
__..--/".' '.
__..--"" | | |
/ | | | WHAT'S WORSE ???
/ | | ___________________ |
; | | :__________________/: | BEING A MACINTOSH FAN
| | | | '.| | OR HAVING A CASE OF
| | | | || | FULL-BLOWN AIDS ???
| | | | || |
| | | | || |
| | | | || |
| | | | || |
| | | | || |
| | | | || |
| | | |______......-----"\| |
| | | |_______......-----" |
| | | |
| | | |
| | | ____----|
| | |_____.....----|#######|---|
| | |______.....----"""" |
| | | |
|. .. | | , | ANSWER: IT'S CLEARLY
|... .... | | (c ----- """ .' A TRICK QUESTION AS
|..... ...... |\|_| ____......------"""|" ONE OF THOSE INVOLVES
|. .... .......| |"""""" | A CONSCIOUS CHOICE
'... ..... ....| | |
"-._ ..... .| | | (YOU GUESS WHICH ONE)
"-._.....| | ___...---"""'
"-._.| | ___...---"""
""""" grp
%
&&&
(+.+) MY BALLS ARE DIAGONALIZABLE
___\=/___
(|_ ~~~ _|)
|___|
/ _ \ NOW YOU CAN JUST READ OFF THE EIGENVALUES
/_/ \_\ (BUT DO SO WITH A DARK FILTER BECAUSE OTHERWISE
ejm97 /_) (_\ IT WILL CAUSE PAIN, IRRITATION, SNEEZING, AND BLINDNESS)
%
__
/_/\/\ HAPPY ACSENSION DAY (BELATED)
\_\ /
/_/ \
\_\/\ \ SO IS THIS WHEN WE MADE ALL THE NICE
\_\/ AMERICAN INDIANS GO TO HEAVEN OR WHAT
%
__ _.._
.-'__`-._.'.--.'.__.,
/--' '-._.' '-._./ FRESH HOT BACON IS ALL I SEE
/__.--._.--._.'``-.__/
'._.-'-._.-._.-''-..'
jgs
%
,, ". SIGN MY PETITION BECAUSE OBVIOUSLY THOSE
, " . :;_\,_: HAVE ALWAYS WORKED THROUGHOUT HISTORY
;__\,_: .. /` ,
. /` , ``. " IN PARTICULAR THE ONE PETITIONING THE BIG
ejm ` . " BANG TO KEEP THE RACKET DOWN SURE WORKED WELL
%
__ _ __
/ / | | \ \
/ / | | \ \ DRAWING MY DONG'S QUANTUM STATE
\ \ | | / / IN BRA-KET NOTATION
\_\ |_| /_/
tQn
%
. -- ~~~ -- .
.-~ ~-.
/ \
/ \ IF I COULD BE ANY KIND OF INTEGRAL
| | I'D BE A SURFACE INTEGRAL
| |
| |
\ /
\ /
`-. .-'
~- . ___ . -~
%
__
/
-==/-
| |
| ./| DEAR FACEBOOK,
| ./ |
|/ \ |
| \<>|
|/<>' | NO I AM NOT INTERESTED IN ANY FUCKING PEPSI TODAY OR EVER
|\/ ./|
| ./ |
|/ |
| | SIGNED, FUCK YOU
| |
`-,,,-'
kol
%
itz -_
`-;-_ ,--.__ MORE LIKE PARAPPA THE RAPIST AM I RIGHT FOLKS
`-;-/. ,/\-`.
_//"\\ l'/Y=|
/'-? \\ `;\-|
,' ;/ \\ \|;
./' ;' \\ \(
,-" _;' \\ `
,-'_;-" \
%
,(()). ,;;;;. __ ________ _____ ___
((_ _));'_`'_( _| __ __ __ _| _| _| __ __
() \ /)\ ) / (_|__ _|-_| _(_|(_|(_|__ _|--
((\ O(() \ O / _____(_|(_|_____________(_|_ SSt
LET'S ANALYZE LADY GAGA LYRICS:
FUCKING STUPID
OKAY DONE
%
__,..--'""
_,..--'""
_,..-'""
_,..-'"
_,.-'"
_.-'"
_.-"
.-'
.' PARABOLA
/ BA DEE BEEDEBE
; PARABOLA
; BA DEBE DEE
\ PARABOLA
`. BA DEE BEDEBE BADEBE BADEBE DEE DEE DE-DE DE-DE-DE
`-.
"-._
"`-._
"`-.,_
"`-..,_
""`-..,_
""`--..,_
itz ""`--..,__
%
__________
/ /|
/__________/ | INFORMATION WANTS TO BE FREE
|________ | |
/_____ /|| |
|".___."| || | ALSO THE KEY TO THE LIQUOR CABINET AND
|_______|/ | | A STOLEN CREDIT NUMBER SO IT CAN ORDER HOOKERS
|| .___."|| /
||_______|| / AHEM SORRY IT MEANT "ESCORTS"
|_________|/
%
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@
@ @
@ | @
@ | | | @
@ /#\ /#\ /#\ @
@ (###) /#####\ (###) @
@ | | | /#########\ | | | @
@ |@| /#\| /\ /#############\ /\ |/#\ |@| @
@ | | (##/#\ /##\ (###############) /##\ /#\##) | | @
@ |@| |(###) (####) _\#############/_ (####) (###)| |@| @
@ | | |#| |___|/\|__|_________________|__|/\|___| |#| | | @
@ |@| |#|@|###||||###|######/^\######|###||||###|@|#| |@| @
@ | | |#| |###|##|###|####/ \####|###|##|###| |#| | | @
@ |@| |#|@|###|/\|###|##/ \##|###|/\|###|@|#| |@| @
@ | | |#| |###||||###|#( )#|###||||###| |#| | | @
@ |@| |#|@|###|##|###|##\ /##|###|##|###|@|#| |@| @
@ | | |#| |###|/\|###|###| |###|###|/\|###| |#| | | @
@ |@| |#|@|###||||###|###| |###|###||||###|@|#| |@| @
@ | | |#| |###||||###|###| |###|###||||###| |#| | | @
@ _|_|___|#|_|###|##|###|###|_______|###|###|##|###|_|#|___|_|_ @
@ |###|###################################################|###| @
@ |###|###############/|=================|\###############|###| @
@ /-------------------/ /=================\ \-------------------\ @
@ / / / --------------- \ \ \ @
@ / / /#####################\ \ \ @
@/ / /###|###| |###|###\ \ \@
@ / /|###|###| |###|###|\ \ @
@ / /||###|###| |###|###||\ \ @
@ / /\/|###|###| |###|###|\/\ \ @
@ / /|##|###|###| |###|###|##|\ \ @
@ / /#||||###|##/ \##|###||||#\ \ @
@______________/ /##|\/|###|#( )#|###|\/|##\ \_________________@
@ | /###|##|###|##\ /##|###|##|###\ | @
@spb |/|###||||###|####\ /####|###||||###|\| @
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@
PLEASE DON'T LET THE STROGG BUILD AN ADVANCED DATABRAIN CENTER ON

THE FIRST STROGG ATTACK SITE NEAR DALLAS (LIKE THE ONE IN AREA 22)
I MEAN IT'S NOT A CONSTITUTIONAL ISSUE BUT REALLY GUYS

CAN'T THEY JUST REALIZE THAT THE SURVIVORS MIGHT TAKE OFFENSE
GIVEN THE BILLIONS OF HUMANS KILLED OR STROGGIFIED AND PLEASE
ASK THEM TO BUILD IT SOMEWHERE ELSE, MAYBE WITH A TAX BREAK
TO SWEETEN THE DEAL
FOR INSTANCE HOW ABOUT THEY BUILD IT RIGHT UP THEIR FUCKING ASSES
(ANY SIMILARITIES TO CURRENT EVENTS IS PURELY COINCIDENTAL)

%
,~,
(((} LEONARD SUSSKIND EATS COOKIES
-''-. WHILE HE GIVES LECTURES !!!!!!!
(\ /\)
~______\) | `\
~~~( | ')
| )____( |
/|/ ` /|
\ \ / | PASS IT ON (BUT DON'T TELL THE CENTAUR)
ejm |\|\ /| |\
%
KITTY !!!! STOP DIPPING YOUR PAW IN MY DRINK
(\ /) AND THEN LICKING IT !!!! THAT'S DISGUSTING !!!!111
(( "-" ))
\ @ @ / I DON'T KNOW WHERE YOUR PAW HAS BEEN !!!11111
( "Y" )
pils ".^." `-. WAIT NOW THAT I THINK OF IT ACTUALLY I DO:
_/( _) ( )
(((.\(((./( ( PROBABLY FINGERBANGING THAT POOR FILIPINO HOOKER
/.((("\ ) I HAVE LOCKED UP IN MY CLOSET RIGHT AFTER I HAD
(((" " MY WAY WITH HER, YOU SLOPPY SECONDS ASSHOLE OF A CAT
(NOTE: WHORE IS OVER 18 SO THIS IS TOTALLY LEGAL

PLEASE DO NOT CALL THE COPS OR HER EMBASSY)
%
___
//)))))
)))@_@)
((( = )
))) -(_ __
/ `-'\\ /,\\\`
/__| )y |
< \ (\_/
`.\ \ HERE'S A WOMAN SHOPPING
{>>>` |
/`-'\____|
/ c \\ /
(C \_ _))\
`-'-._/ \
/ /\ \
/ ,' `. \
/ / \ \
<\_\_ \ \
`---` (_`-\_
`---' hjw
_,---.
(/_/))))
\c e_e) .
\ = ) _|
,-` -(_ |o|
/ `-'\\ |#{)
/__| ._ _)y /
< \ (\_/
`.\ ____\ AND HERE'S A VERY SERIOUS BUSINESSWOMAN
,>>> |
.==T=T==.__| WITH A BRIEFCASE OR BAG OF SOME SORT AND
| | / PROUDLY DISPLAYING A CELL PHONE BECAUSE
| |\ AS WE ALL KNOW ONLY REAL PROFESSIONALS
|_______| \ HAVE ACCESS TO CELL PHONE TECHNOLOGY IN 2010
/ /\ \
/ ,' `. \
/ / \ \
<\_\_ \ \
`---` (_`-\_
`---' hjw
OH DON'T FUCKING GO ALL LIQUID ON ME

YOU KNOW IT'S TRUE
%
[ |\';c 'c :',;,'";,': ,-- ==- ,
] | c ;, : '"-"' ; '~ ,-
[ | c_/;'- ', ,' ~'
,-,|,';c .--.
(_;__ / ( _ \
|\|; / /: :\
| | c ,=. ^ / . |
c |-=----'._.--._-==-=-==:-,-=\ : /=-,.,:.=-==
] | \ '.__=-. \ .' ,-.
[ |-. ( ' e\ | : / _ \
';__ \ , ' . .-'-^ /, | \ / \ \
,-'_,.-,) |; \!_ \|;. ;/._, \ '--' )
c , ^^= ^= '.__,''------'
/\|, \|. ,
,\|, .|/ \|/ I STILL DON'T KNOW WHAT A "TOSH.0" IS AND
/| \|/ ,;, ,|.? ^~^ I'D LIKE TO KEEP IT THAT WAY, THANK YOU VERY MUCH
.__ \; \|/ c ,
'"---.,._ \ | / , ,_,.-
; "', :|; ,; ; ,:/ ,
- , ;._ _.-=.,-=" ,=
, -= , '_.-7_.--.,-="' , -= _AsH
%
___|_____|_____|_____|_____|_____|_____|_____|_____|_____|_____|_____|_____|_
|_____|_____|_____|_____|_____|_____|_____|_____|_____|_____|_____|_____|____
___|_____|_____|_____|_____|_____|_____|_____|_____|_____|_____|_____|_____|_
|_____|_____|_____|_____|_____|_____|_____|_____|_____|_____|_____|_____|____
___|_____|_____|_____|_____|_____|_____|_____|_____|_____|_____|_____|_____|_
|_____|_____|_____|_____|_____|_____|_____|_____|_____|_____|_____|_____|____
___|_____|_____|_____|_____|_____|_____|_____|_____|_____|_____|_____|_____|_
|_____|_____|_____|_____|_____|_____|_____|_____|_____|_____|_____|_____|____
___|_____|_____|_____|_____|_____|_____|_____|_____|_____|_____|_____|_____|_
|_____|_____|_____|_____|_____|_____|_____|_____|_____|_____|_____|_____|____
___|_____|_____|_____|_____|_____|_____|_____|_____|_____|_____|_____|_____|_
DF+tQn
FIDDLING WITH FACEBOOK'S PRIVACY SETTINGS

IS SORT OF LIKE PLAYING EVE ONLINE:
DEALING WITH FUCKLOADS OF SPREADSHEETS AND NOT REMOTELY FUN

%
A LOVE LETTER TO UNIX:
% YES
%
mm###########mmm
m####################m
m#####`"#m m###"""'######m
######*" " " "mm#######
m####" , m"#######m
m#### m*" ,' ; , "########m
####### m* m |#m ; m ######## BALLROOM DANCING
|######### mm# |#### #m##########|
###########| |######m############ SATURDAY NIGHTS ONLY
"##########| |##################"
"######### |## /##############"
########| # |/ m###########
"####### ###########" NO CANADIANS
"""""" """""""""
%
,.
\-'__ I HOPE PAJAMAS TV IS DOING OKAY IN THIS DOWN ECONOMY
/ o.__o____
\/_/ /.___/--,
||\' mrf
| /
\_\ MAYBE THEY'LL HAVE TO SWITCH TO PAJAMAS
-'' TWO-CANS-CONNECTED-BY-A-STRING
%
/~\
| _ | WINDOWS 7 IS TOLERABLE I GUESS BUT SERIOUSLY
|| ||
|| ||
|| ||
|| ||
| | WHOSE IDEA WAS IT AT MICROSOFT TO REPLACE "CLIPPY" WITH "RAPEY"
`\/'
GB
%
,==========, AHHHHHH, CLEAN UNDERWEAR
| | | |
`-./ \.-' (FORGED OUT OF SPLINTERY TIMBER AND CORRUGATED METAL)
FL `.__.'
IS THERE NOTHING MORE COMFORTABLE
__
/ /|
/_/ \
~\~\ \
\ \ \ / OOOOOH WHAT'S THIS THEN
_ \ \ \ \_
\_ \ \ \_/ \
/ \_\_\/
/ _/ _| \_
_/ / \
cjr / \ \ /
%
%%%%
%%%%-(
_%%%%%_/ \ ' /
_%%%%%%%% - (_) -
_%%%%%%%/ \% / , \
%%%%%%%%%\\ \_
%%%%%% \ \\ JUST CAUSE 2 MIGHT BE A LITTLE MORE HELPFUL
) /\_/ IF ONE OF THE GANG COLORS ON THE MAP WHICH
/(___. \ YOU NEED TO IDENTIFY MISSIONS WASN'T EXACTLY
'----' ( THE SAME FUCKING COLOR AS THE WATER ?!?!?!?
/ )
---....____/ (_____ __ _ ___ ___ __ _ _ _____ _ _ ___
/ )---...___ =-= = -_= -=_= _-=_-_ -=- =-_
,' ( ```--.._= -_= -_= _-=- -_= _=-
,-' ) ``--._=-_ =-=_-= _-= _
'-._ '-..___( ``-._=_-=_- =_-=
``---....__) `-._-=_-_=-
)|)| `-._=-_
gnv '-'-.\_ YES I MEAN YOU ROACHES `-.
P.S. BOLO SANTOSI AND SINGAPOREAN ACCENTS:

EFF YEAH
%
,
__ _.-"` `'-.
/||\'._ __{}_(
|||| |'--.__\ YOUR HEMORRHOID ORDERS YOU TO CALL THE POLICE
| L.( ^_\^
\ .-' | _ | FOR YOUR OWN SAFETY YOU MUST OBEY
| | )\___/
| \-'`:._]
jgs \__/; '-.
%
_.._..,_,_
( )
]~,"-.-~~[
.=])' (; ([ STELLA ALWAYS GIVES ME AN EXTRA BAD HANGOVER
| ]:: ' [
'=]): .) ([ IT'S ALMOST LIKE THOSE BEGLIANS PREPROGRAM THEIR BEER
|:: ' | WITH THE MISERY OF CONTINUALLY GETTING OVERRUN BY GERMANS
PMH ~~----~~
%
______
\ \. I CAN ONLY SHIT AT HOME BECAUSE
|`\_____\ MY TOILET IS THE ONE AND ONLY
|` | | DEMON PORTAL TO HELL
| | |
__-====-__ _| | | IF I DON'T STOP SHITTING IN IT
(~< >~> \ | | THEN THE DEMONS WILL COME OUT
!~~-====-~~/----`+----/ AND INVADE EARTH SO YOU SHOULD
\ \___ / ALL FUCKING THANK ME
>------\ \ <
<_________________> ALSO I'M SCARED TO USE PUBLIC TOILETS
%
////
!!!! _ \\\\ PENN JILLETTE GESTICULATES TOO MUCH
! -'/ _ ||||
\ / \`-'''| THAT IS ALL FOR NOW
\__| \ /
) | \__\_
ejm / | \ (
\
%
dBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBb
BP YBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBb I GOT MY BIG RED CLASSIC ELECTRODYNAMICS
dB YBb YBBBb BOOK AND THEY STILL WON'T LET ME
dB YBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBb INTO THE STRIP CLUB
Yb YBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBb
Yb dBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBb
Yb dP=======================/ TURNS OUT THE NEW EDITION IS BLACK
YbB=======================(
Ybb=======================\ FUCKING ELITIST PHYSICS STRIPPERS
Y888888888888888888DSI8888b
%
_____
_.--~_..__ ~~-._
:..____~ ~~--.._
~~-.. ~ ._ ~~----__________
`-._ `. __ ~~~~~~-----...__
~~\. ~-. .------.. ~~~---__
`. . .- ~~-----_________ ,' ~== __ ~~--__
\ \=_ | ___ ~ - ~-.
\. ) ~--__ | `._ ;:~~:---__ `.
`._ \ \~-.-------~~ \ \ ~~~~~_::. ) ~~--__ |`.
| | ,=:__) \ \ `----' `-. / |
| | __...=-. ) ;' |
,-=~~_,' '~~.==----' _Seal_ _,-' /
~~~ _______.......----~~~ _,'
--~~""""---......._________...--'
I'M ONE SEXY MOTHERFUCKING DRAGON
%
_..--._ ____
__.i---""""\___....----"""" ( )
__..-/ 006 '________....-----""""
fsc / ""---.....___.-" \ TANK RAPE
%
_....._ .--.
_.-' `-._ o/o-;;;
( `-._ _.-' ) (_, z) PERHAPS IT JUST DEMONSTRATES
`:-._'---'_.-:' ,,,, _|-' / HOW SICK I AM BUT MAYBE I
: `'''`_,-/`-._ /.. ) /\`--/"\ SHOULDN'T FIND THE RELATIVELY
: [_./_ /_ _(_& _P / \_/, | RECENT REVELATION THAT
: :`-/(_`_____ _\-'_/___/ /| MACKENZIE PHILLIPS WAS MOLESTED
: _.-: 8 \=__))____/ | BY HER PIECE OF SHIT HIPPIE
: |'_.-: \_ | / F FATHER WHEN SHE WAS YOUNG BUT
: | : : //`7/ / / AN ADULT -- AND ON THE NIGHT
: | :.-: (( (( L_______/ BEFORE HER WEDDING -- TO BE
: |o : /_>/_> / Y /
: |_.-': / / / WELL
: : J J J
(`'-._____,-'`) | | | FUNNY
| | | | |
| | _J__J__J
(_ _) (__(_____) NEXT UP: VALERIE BERTINELLI
cjr'-..___..-'
%
__________
________| |________
| / |||||| \ |
| ,' `. |
| ,' `. |
| ,' |||||||||||||||| `. |
,' /____________________\ `.
/______________________________\
| |
| |
| |
|________________________________|
_ Seal _ |____________________------__|
,----------------------------------------------------,
| [][][][][] [][][][][] [][][][] [][__] [][][][] |
| |
| [][][][][][][][][][][][][][_] [][][] [][][][] |
| [_][][][][][][][][][][][][][ | [][][] [][][][] |
| [][_][][][][][][][][][][][][]|| [] [][][][] |
| [__][][][][][][][][][][][][__] [][][] [][][]|| |
| [__][________________][__] [__][]|| |
`----------------------------------------------------'
QUESTION ONE: WHY DO SOME PEOPLE, ESPECIALLY IN OPEN SOURCE,

FEEL THE NEED TO GIVE THEIR VERSION RELEASES
PROPER NAMES RATHER THAN JUST NUMBERS, YOU KNOW,
LIKE NORMAL FUCKING PEOPLE
QUESTION TWO: WHY DO SAID PEOPLE PRETTY MUCH ALWAYS FEEL THE
NEED TO CHOOSE REALLY FUCKING GAY NAMES
ANSWER: IT'S A TRICK QUESTION, THE ANSWERS TO BOTH QUESTIONS

ARE THE SAME: NAMELY, GENERAL CUNTERY ON THEIR PART
%
_.-------._
.' _|_|_|_|_ '. I RECOMMEND THE FOLLOWING COLLECTIVE NOUN
/ _|_|_|_|_|_|_ \ FOR WIKIPEDIANS:
| |_|_|_|_|_|_|_| |
|_|_|_|_|_|_|_|_|_| FAGGOT
| |_|_|_|_|_|_|_| |
| |_|_|_|_|_|_|_| | WITNESS:
\ -|_|_|_|_|_|- /
'. -|_|_|_|- .' "A FAGGOT OF WIKIPEDIANS"
jgs `---------`
SEE, WORKS PERFECTLY
%
.---------------.
/ oLo \
O/_____/________/____\O IT IS MY SOLEMN DUTY TO CONFIRM THAT
/__________+__________\ GRAND THEFT AUTO IV IS NOWHERE NEAR
/ (#############) \ AS FUN AS GRAND THEFT AUTO: SAN ANDREAS
|[**](#############)[**]|
\_______________________/
|_""__|_,-----,_|__""_|
| | '-----' | |
'-' APC'97 '-'
%
\ /
) \ / (
\,-=~=-./ I'M GONNA HIT YOUR TIP JAR
( / \ )
` . . ' WITH THE TIP OF MY DICK
`. ,-=-. ,'
( ( @ @ ) )
`-`---'-'
/ \
| \ / |
|\_-' '-_/|
| |
\ _ /
gpyy '-_/ \_-'
%
__--__--__--__--__--__--__=
00 =
0 0 _-_-~-~= =
0 0 _-_-~-~ .' = .= `.
00 _-_-~-~ .' !
.' !
ooo .' !
, o@o .' !
. /=xX *-_.-*~'^`~*-_. ._-*~'^`~*
/ `. /= `-_. `~*-_-*'
`./ ,/=. `~*-_._-*~'^`~*-_.
~o`.<@>/ `~*-_._-*~'
< `./ .\!/,
xX ~' }(((`. ~<*>~
xX .{{ } )))) |%
xX / %. ( (( ~-_ _% '%|\\
._xX / % . %) ) ~-~ %'`,__/
| )%-_- % . % -__ %
xX`- % /% . %<@>| ~~--~~' ._-*~'^`~*-_.
xX % ~-__-~ %&&&% `~*-_. ._-*~' `~*-_._-*~'^
.' % \`~*`~*-_._-*'^`*-_._-*'
.' % ~.
.' % ~. SERIOUSLY
.' .\ %% ~._
.' _-~ \ \ %% ~~--~'
`. _-~ \ \ %.-~' WHAT THE FUCK
.|_~~~~ \ !_ IS WRONG WITH
|**|~~; `._-' !~-. BOOTSY COLLINS
|**| ; ~-./*\ ~.
|**|-; <****\_-~. !\
\/ ; \**,:__ o__--@~'/
.-<~`~:. .' ~~~! `~.- _`.__% ) _--__ ~~~-_
.' <~ )-__-~~-_ __--~~.-~ __- `~'( ~~~`-.__-
\ ~~~~~~~~ `~~' `~~~ _---~/ _- ( ( ~-
~-_ !o'~~' / `. :
`. _'.' // \\
`~. 'o' Oo Oo
`~~-_
`. LTH
%
__ __
(,.) ,. (,.) ,. (,.) ,.
|| || || || || ||
|| || || || || || WOW MAFIA II IS A REALLY FUN GAME
,.||.. || ,.||.. || ,.||.. ||
//""""\\ || //""""\\ || //""""\\ || ONE MISSION INVOLVES YOU
|| || || || || || || || || CLEANING URINALS REPEATEDLY
|| || || || || || || || || AS PROOF THAT CRIME DOES NOT PAY
||____|| || ||____|| || ||____|| ||
`.____.' || `.____.' || `.____.' ||
|| || || REGRETTABLY THIS IS NOT A JOKE
|| || ||
______________||__________||__________||_________
Krogg
%
\
\
\\
\\\
) `-')
<_ o / THE NEW ZEALANDER ACCENT IS
\ / KIND OF LIKE AN AUSTRALIAN ACCENT
/ / BUT WITH MORE SHEEPFUCKING
/_,, ~~
/ )
| /
/ _>
/ /
/
| /
\___/
o
BT
%
_____________
/ ___________ \ THIS TWO-DIMENSIONAL MANIFOLD IS
| / \ | NON-ORIENTABLE AND ALSO I HAVE NO LIFE
| \___________/\|
\KCK__________/
%
.ad" "\bbmdd/" "ba.
.,d" `"' "b,.
.,ad" "ba,.
,am8888ca8"""""'' ``""""8ac88888ma,
"""""]8a. .a8["""""
"8ba. MOUTHILINGUS .ad8"'
`"8bma,. .,amd88"'
`""""""""""""""""""""""'
%
.
\ | /
-- o --
/ | \
,^==--==^. '
,_/ \_,
,^=--=^. "===------===" ,^=--=^.
,_/ \_, !.____.! ,_/ \_,
,^="===----===" | |____| | "===----==="=^.
,_/ !.____.!____! !____!.____.! \_,
"===--- |____| ||____________|| |____| ---==="
||__________|| ||__________||
|| || ,-"~~"-. || ||
|| ,-""-. || ',-"~~"-.' || ,-""-. ||
|| ',-""-.' ||'' ''|| ',-""-.' ||
||'' ''||| |||'' ''||
||! !||! o/ !||! !||
| | | | /| | | | |
| | | | |> | | | |
\\gpyy\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\/////////////////////////
^
|
|
|
|
`---------- HEY, LOOK A FAGGOT
%
\_____________________________ I'M A TROMBONE
/ ____________!_______!_____)
(________||______ THE BRASS INSTRUMENT NO ONE LIKES
FR
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..... .....
.:' ''::::::'' ':.
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:' FULL-BLOWN AIDS ':
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JM/tQn ''''
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/( )\
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\/[]\/ I'M A TIE
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\/
%
,,::,,
(::..::)
\\||// JESUS FUCKING CHRIST
/;;;;;;\ , WHAT THE FUCK AM I
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| I .'''''. / \ I ( ) |
| I ( ) \ I | Y | |
| I | Y | | I | : | |
| I | : | | I | : | |Meph.
TOWER OR BRIDGE ?!?!?!?!???!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!/1/1?
WHO GIVES A SHIT, IT'S NOT PART OF A REAL COUNTRY

%
,
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_-'`-' '-,='_\.-' I WAS A COOL FIGHTER BUT THE US NAVY
.' _-' RETIRED ME AND NOW I'M ONLY IN THE ..........
/`\ _,i| IRANIAN AIR FORCE
/__,|=-'^ 0"0
WUP WAH
%
____ ____
_,',--.`-. _,',--.`-.
<_ ( () ) > ( <_ ( () ) >
`-:__;,-' \ À:__:,-'
\ / \
(( )
\-' SHOULD'VE SENT A POET
\
\
( )
Shimrod `-'"`-----'
%
+-------------------------------------------------+
| |
| |
| THIS PLACE INTENTIONALLY LEFT SHANKED |
| |
| |
+-------------------------------------------------+
%
___ __
(_ ( . ) )__ '. \ : / .'
'(___(_____) __ '. \ : / .'
/. _\ '. \ : / .'
.--.|/_/__ -----____ _ _____-----
_______________''.--o/___ \_______________(_)___________
~ /.'o|_o '.| ~ ~ ~
~ |/ |_| ~' ~
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~ ___|_||_____ ~ ~ ~
~ ~ .'':. .|_|A:. ..::''.
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\.: .: :. .: ..:: .lcf/
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
POOR WYCLEF JEAN
HOSPITALIZED FOR "STRESS" AND "FATIGUE"
IT'S REALLY A PITY THAT HE CAN'T RUN FOR PRESIDENT OF HAITI

SINCE HE DOESN'T MEET THEIR CONSTITUTIONAL RESIDENCY REQUIREMENTS
BUT YOU KNOW MAYBE YOU COULD HAVE CHECKED THAT

BEFORE ANNOUNCING HE WAS RUNNING
HERE'S MY ADVICE, MR. JEAN:

NEXT TIME YOU WANT TO ANNOUNCE SOMETHING, STEP ONE:
OPEN A FUCKING BOOK

%
____
,dP9CGG88@b,
,IP""YICCG888@@b, BEATOFF FIELD: ACTIVATED
dIi ,IICGG8888@b
________GCCIIIICCCGGG8888@@@__________________
Y8GGGGGG8888888@@@@P..... NOW I CAN BEAT OFF BUT YOU CAN'T SEE ME
Y88888888888@@@@@P......
`Y8888888@@@@@@@P'...... (ACTUALLY THERE IS NO FIELD AT ALL,
`@@@@@@@@@P'....... JUST PENDING INDECENT EXPOSURE CHARGES)
fl """"........
%
__ THE SHAPE OF MY EARS APPEARS SPECIFICALLY DESIGNED
/,- TO SPONTANEOUSLY AND ROUTINELY EJECT EARBUDS I PLACE IN THEM
||)
\\_, )
`--' I THINK THIS PROVES INTELLIGENT DESIGN OR SOMETHING
ejm
%
I THINK SPOONING IS SO PRE-9/11
________ .==.
jgs [________>c((_ ) INSTEAD I SUGGEST: VIOLENT SPOONING
'=='
(THUS THREE IS INDEED A SPOON)
%
,'";-------------------;"`.
;[]; ................. ;[];
; ; ................. ; ; PLEASE PICK ONE OF ME UP AND LOOK AT ME
; ; ................. ; ;
; ; ................. ; ; BECAUSE I'M REALLY LONELY NOW
; ; ................. ; ;
; ; ................. ; ; NOBODY USES ME ANYMORE
; ; ................. ; ;
; `. ,' ;
; """"""""""""""""" ;
; ,-------------.---. ;
; ; ;""; ; ; ;
; ; ; ; ; ; ;
; ; ; ; ; ; ;
;//||; ; ; ; ;||;
;\\||; ;__; ; ;\/; (SNIFF)
`. _; _ ; _; ;
PK " """"""""""" """"" """
%
;
`,
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__ `;.
/' /\ , \ WATCH OUT, AIDS ARROW DUDE
/ |ee| `;
( |_,| , `,
) , \ ' `:
| """"----,__,_.____,_
; _ |--,_; '
, ,' `"---' ,:
| , : /, ,'
| ,/' ,; DID DRUIDS EVEN FUCKING SHOOT ARROWS
| ' :| , /'
, | ,; WHAT THE FUCK
, | , :'
| ` ,'
,' ` ;
__==' ___, pb __/_
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_..--=--..._
.-' '-. .-.
/.' '.\/ / OH THE HUMANITY
|=- -=| (
\'. .'/\ \ (GETTING IT OUT OF THE WAY NOW
'-.,_____ _____.-' '-' JUST IN CASE IT CATCHES FIRE)
jgs [_____]=8
%
__, __, . , ___, . , ___,
/ __,/_, |\/| | |\ | ' |
\__/ \__ | | _|_, | \| _|_
` ' `' ' `' `
___ ___
.d9969b d6966b. AS SHOULD BE OBVIOUS FROM THIS DRAWING
d66b'e( )a`d99b
`d9p _/ \_ q6b' GEMINI IS CLEARLY THE HOTTEST ZODIACAL SIGN
__/ (__ __) \__ _
/ \_/ / \_/ {_)
/ / \
\ \__ / /\ _\ \
hjw \____j`-. ).--|___/
`-' '--'
%
********
****************
*******************
********************
********************
\\ // ********
\\\// *******
\\\////
|||// ,
||||| __/
,,,,,,,,,,,//||||\,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,o==o
;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;
IT'S COLUMBUS DAY BUT THE GARDENERS ARE OUTSIDE MOWING THE LAWN ANYWAY
WEIRD
%
___________
\ /
)_______(
|"""""""|_.-._,.---------.,_.-._
| | | | | | ''-.
| |_| |_ _| |_..-'
|_______| '-' `'---------'` '-'
)"""""""(
/_________\ MY BONER HAS SPOKEN
`'-------'`
.-------------. CASE CLOSED
jgs/_______________\
%
_
.')) ___
( |" __.-'---'-. PERHAPS YOU RECOGNIZE THIS FAMOUS
\|.'_ ._ \ OPTICAL ILLUSION
Y///\ ' \ \
(((((\ -. '.
'} ) ) \ '. \
= /: .' |
| . / \
'-' \ /#########
## )-- |######## IF YOU LOOK CLOSE AT IT YOU'LL
####/ ,/######## SEE THAT YOU'LL DIE ALONE
####;.'/########
snd #####| /#########
%
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
| |_|_| |_ |_| | _|_| THIS IS SECRET CODE FOR "DONGS DONGS DONGS"
|_ _|_| |_|_|_| |_|_|_|
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
|_|_| | |_| |_| |_| _| |_|_ |
|_|_ _| |_|_ _| |_|_|_| |_|_|_|
LC
%
| ____.......__
|\ .' _.--""''`` ``''--._
| \ .'/ ..--'` .-'`
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'.`'"-: ' .-'` .-'
'. __...----""""""""""--.. \
- ..-'' ``""-._ \
.' _. \ `"- \
_.-'` | /-. \ WAIT, OH BE A FINE GIRL KISS `-. \
| / `. \ MY COCK; SUCK, & LICK TITS `.\
|/ `-\ `. wkm
|
(SOMEHOW I HAVE A FEELING IT WON'T CATCH ON)

%
-. `|.
|:\-, .| \. *BWOOP BWOOP* PULL UP
|: `.------------------------------------. *BWOOP BWOOP* PULL UP
/ / o o o o o o o o o o o o o.-.o o (_`.
/_ \_ . .= |'| `)
``"""""""""""// / """"" `"""------"'
<// /_(+
// /
// / ga/a:f
----'
%
__ __
.' `'._.'` '. I'M A RARE EARTH METAL
| .--; ;--. |
| ( / \ ) |
\ ;` /^\ `; /
:` .'._.'. `; OKAY FINE I'M NOT, I'M A PRETZEL BUT
jgs '-`'.___.'`-' PLEASE DIG ME UP AND TREASURE ME ANYWAY
%
___
/,_ \ I DON'T KNOW WHAT
___ / / ___ THESE THINGS ARE
// 7 / / // 7 BUT THEY SURE ARE
(_-_/\_/ / (_D_/\___ FRIGHTENING
\ / \ _ \
\ < / // /
_\ \__ __/ /_7 \
( \ ) / ( )/
mic \___\___/ (____\____/
%
,.__.,
/,',.`.\
____|:|db|:|____ YOU KNOW WHAT'S FUNNY
___//"""|:|88|:|"""\\___ ABOUT THE WORD ZAMBONI ???
_____//":=_=_=_=|--|=_=_=_=:"\\_____
__/.-._//__|L_L_L_L|--|L_L_L_L|__\\_.-.\__
//"||m|:.-. .-. .-.,.__.,.-. .-. .-.:|m||"\\
// ||8||: : L_L_L_/.',.`.\_L_L_L : :||8|| \\
/'======="L.='.::'`:|:|db|:|:'`::.`=.L"=======`\
| .---. .--. |_:==' |:|88|:| `==:_| .--. .---. |
| | : |_.='/=======|:--:|=======\`=._| : | |
| | _,=' ||==.=.==|:--:|==.=.==|| `=._ | |
|_:='_______|| || || |:--:| || || ||_______`=:_|
l42 || || || |:--:| || || ||
''-------|:--:|-------'' PRETTY MUCH EVERYTHING
':==:'
%
( )
( ) ( CHECK OUT MY LATEST BLOG PIECE (OF SHIT)
) _ )
( \_
_(_\ \)__
(____\___)) Krogg98
%
_ _.-,
\`-..' _/ DUDE I LOOK COOLER EVEN THAN REAL SPACE SHIPS
.'-''` )
/`'. _ -'._
/__.:-' `--..--.
\ . ` = .:_ _.
pils \ . ` `-.| \
_.-' ' ' |.'`',
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/ _-'" ` .'` / _:'``''--'`
: (/_\' ` .' ""`
: ' " _.'
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"
%
,`. ,'`.
: | \/ / | _..
,--.._ | ' : ;.' ) I'M A FLOWER
\ ._ `: | ,' ,' /
`._ ` \ .;../ _..'.._
_..-`-.._::::::.' -.. `.
,' _.. ::SSt::-.._ __..'
`..___..-''`;:::;' `.
,' , ,' |` `:. `. `.
| ' ,/ , ; \`.._,' MY JOB IS TO ATTRACT HORNY
`..-'/ / / \ \ : INSECTS TO MOLEST ME
\__,' `.__;
%
_______ _______ _______ _______ _______
| ___ | | ___ | | ___ | | ___ | | ___ |
| | _| | | | _| | | | _| | | | _| | | | _| |
| | |___| | | |___| | | |___| | | |___| | | |___|
| |_______| |_______| |_______| |_______| |______
_____ _____ _____ _____ _____ _____
| _ | | _ | | _ | | _ | | _ | | _ |
| | |_| | | |_| | | |_| | | |_| | | |_| | | |_| I WISH I WERE A FRACTAL
| |_____| |_____| |_____| |_____| |_____| |____
___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___
| _| | _| | _| | _| | _| | _| | _| | _|
| |___| |___| |___| |___| |___| |___| |___| |___
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ INSTEAD I'M JUST A
| |_| |_| |_| |_| |_| |_| |_| |_| |_| |_| |_| |_ SHITTY REPEATED PATTERN
:-:_:-:_:-:_:-:_:-:_:-:_:-:_:-:_:-:_:-:_:-:_:-:_
%
.
.---------.'---.
'. : .'
'. .::: .' DRINK ME AND THE UGLY PEOPLE AROUND YOU
'.'::'.' MAGICALLY BECOME MORE ATTRACTIVE
'||'
||
||
mrz ||
---====---
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|#|____________|#|:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::|#|
|#|########################################################|
|#|888888888888|#| |#| |#|
|#|888888888888|#| |#| |#|
|#|888888888888|#| |#| |#|
|#|888888888888|#| |#|________|#|
|#|888888888888|#| I AM FUCKING BORING |#|########|#|
|#|888888888888|#| |#|````````|#|
|#|888888888888|#| |#|````````|#|
|#|888888888888|#| |#|````````|#|
|#|888888888888|#| |#|````````|#|
|#|888888888ctr|#|____________________________|#|````````|#|
|##########################################################|
%
_____
_|[]_|_
_/_/=|_\_\_ PRETTY HUH ?????
_/_ /==| _\ _\_
_/__ /===|_ _\ __\_ WE SLAUGHTERED PEOPLE TO OUR GODS
_/_ _ /====| ___\ __\_
_/ __ _/=====|_ ___\ ___ \_ COOL HUH
jjs _/ ___ _/======| ____ \_ __ \_
%
,
_,-""-._
," ".
/ ,-, ,"\ ENOUGH WITH THE FUCKING ZOMBIES
" / \ | o| YOU STUPID FUCKING NERDS
\ `-o-" `-',
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--------(_,-._)))-------------------------------
n4bis
%
AND THE RENT IS TOO DAMN (HEAD LOPPED OFF)
\
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;;\ // x x /;;;
\ \ | _\ / /
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| | J8888888L | :F_P:
| | 888888888 |
%
_____
'-----""(#) I'M A LOWLY MOSQUITO
'---|||'\'
tlb / | \ | SORRY ABOUT THAT WHOLE MALARIA THING TOTALLY ACCIDENTAL
%
---------------------------------------------------------------------
* * | o 8 .' |
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[nabis]
\
\
FUCK IT'S COLD AND LONELY HERE

%
(
) )
( ( ))
) )(
)) ))),, RELAXING ON MY LAWN CHAIR
( / ///
_ _ / SMOKING MY CRACK PIPE
_U___ < ) ()
/ / \_- |. //
\_| |,-"|//
__ ,-" //
/ \ ,-" // I MEAN TOBACCO PIPE
_ . --. ,--\," "--- //
/\_/ \| "" -" "-. // YEAH TOBACCO PIPE
\ \ | //|
,_\________________________//|| WELP ANYWAY OFF TO GO STEAL HUB CAPS
'--------------------------, ||
// \\||
// utis \\|
%
____________
/____________\
/ / _\__/_ \ \ I'M A ROBOT OWL
|| // \\// \\ ||
|| \\_//\\_//.|| SUCK MY FUCKING ROBOT DICK
|_\__/_<>_\__/_|
/ \
/ || || \
/// \\\
//| |\\
/ \\ // \
|U'U|'---____---'|U'U|
|____________________|
\ /
| |
| | m1a
____| |____
|\__/| |\__/|
| / \ |
| / TOMY \ |
|/________________\|
|__________________|
%
_(,__ __),
(_,d888888888b,d888888888b
d888888888888/888888888888b_)
(_8888888P'""'`Y8Y`'""'"Y88888b HEY TALL, PRETTY LADY IN HER EARLY 40S
Y8888P.-' ` '-.Y8888b_)
,_Y88P (_(_( )_)_) d88Y_, WHO'S DRESSED UP LIKE A 50S HOUSEWIFE
Y88b, (o ) (o ) d8888P
`Y888 '-' '-' `88Y`
,d/O\ c /O\b,
\_/'.,______w______,.'\_/
.-` `-. HALLOWEEN WAS TWO DAYS AGO
/ , d88b d88b_ \
/ / 88888bd88888`\ \ THAT WOULD HAVE BEEN CHARMING AND NOW
/ / \ Y88888888Y \ \ IT JUST MAKES YOU CRAZY
\ \ \ 88888888 / /
`\ `. \d8888888b, /\\/
`.//.d8888888888b; | BUT HOT
|/d888888888888b/
d8888888888888888b BUT CRAZY
,_d88p""q88888p""q888b,
`""'`\ "`| /`'""`
`. |===/ WAIT SHOULDN'T YOU BE VOTING
> | |
/ | |
| | |
| Y /
\ / /
jgs | /| /
/ / / | OH RIGHT I FORGOT WOMEN CAN'T VOTE
/=/ |=/
`"` `"`
%
,o
}-=')-<
.
: ^^^ PRETTY HOT HUH
(_) ___ |||
. : _( ") `+'
. o ( _)\ .{}{}}. | YEAH SHE SMELLS LIKE FISH
. )/ "( {}-_-{} | VERY FUNNY I THINK I'LL
O . .-_) _) `,{=}._ | SINK YOUR FUCKING BOAT
: o. // (.---{{{}}_)( \ MISTER FUNNY MAN
. (.___/(_, .( "-`}'- T \
O "--._ |`- / \ _ _ /| )
.o / . | |`---^---'||-"
---.-""."-._____.-.'`-._.\^|\_ .:_/_|_.---"-""-.-."-.____.-.__
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\ \ _`. ) . "-._ .'/ |
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`-._ < `( ""--.__ )' _ \
`. | """....---"" "._) ojo
%
.--------------------------------------------.
( WHAT IN THE FUCK WAS I REINCARNATED FROM )
//'--------------------------------------------'
/ , _.-~~-.__ __.,----.
('; __( ) ~~~'--..--~~ '.
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\\. |\.' ; . ; ; ;
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%
___
,~,/|.,.|
((( |_=_| THE CHRONICLES OF NARNIA:
(-``-. | THE MASSIVE UNCONTROLLABLE SHIT
\ /\)/
| (
/ ))
/ \|
ejm \) |)
-- _-
%
Y THIS IS SUPPOSED TO BE RUDOLPH THE RED-NOSED REINDEER
('.
/( ALTHOUGH IT LOOKS MORE LIKE A CHICKEN TO ME
(,}}
~{{'' g3
%
_.====.._
,:._ ~-_ JUST REMEMBER:
`\ ~-_
| _ _ | `. THE RISING TIDE LIFTS ALL DRESSES
,/ /_)/ | | ~-_
-..__..-'' \_ \_\ `_ ~~--..__...----...
%
O
/\_ MORE LIKE QUANTITATIVE ***PLEASING***
/_ `\D
,===/ ||
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_\|__ I HOPE WE'RE ALL TAKING APPROPRIATE STEPS
/ ( )_\ TO CELEBRATE THE BLOGGINGHEADS FIFTH ANNIVERSARY
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'-:_ ) / `' '=.
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snd |/ `^ .'
- THEY ARE NOT TO BE TRUSTED
- THEY ALL LOOK ALIKE
HEY IT'S NOT ME IT'S BATTLESTAR GALACTICA

%
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\ \ FIGURE OUT WHICH CLIP IS NEXT IN A SERIES
\ \
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\ // / \ / WELL, BOTH OF THEM
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"\__/" WHY THE FUCK IS LARRY KING STILL ON TELEVISION
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( `-``/``/`_/ I THINK THE CONCEPT IS SOUND
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%
MMMM THAT PAINT BRUSH LOOKS MIGHTY TASTY
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_[TT]_j__,( j"n,. __i_[TT]_ WHY CAN'T THEY HAVE CPL. BOWMAN SAY
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KB
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`-------------|-------------------------------|-------------'
\___ | \ o O o / | ___/
\____/ \ / \____/
| \ / |
| \|/ |
AC | | |
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
DEAR NORTH KOREA,
MEET USS GEORGE WASHINGTON
I'M SURE YOU'LL BECOME FAST FRIENDS

%
.------. .------.
.' //`. .' `. I THINK MY BALLS MIGHT BE
/ // \ / \ IRREDUCIBLY COMPLEX
| // : | ......:::::
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______________________________________________________
__________|___________,_______________________________
__________|__________//,______________________________
__________|__________\|/;..___________________________
__________|___________\\//\,._________________________
__________|___________/ '\/_________________________
__________|__________/,* _ |_________________________
__________|_________( ) ( ) (_________________________
__________|__________\( " \________________________
__________|____________) \\______________________
__________|___________( \\\___________________
__________|____________\ ( \\ \\\_________________
__________|____________(\ \\ \\ \\\_______________
__________|_____________\\ \\ \\ \\\_____________
__________|______________\\ \\ \\ \\____________
__________|_______________\\ \\ \\ \\___________
__________|________________\-\ \\\ \\\\___________
__________|_________________\ /\_ \\\ \\___________
__________|__________________(( \-___- \\\__________
__________|___________________\ \_______ \\\_________
__________|____________________\ \_______ \\\________
__________|_____________________\ \________\\\_______
__________|______________________\ \________\\\______
__________|_______________________\ \________\\______
__________|________________________(--)_______________
__________|___________________________________________
__________|___________________________________________
bni
AND THEREFORE ACCORDING TO PRINCIPLE OF EX POST FAGGO

I AM A FUCKING PARROT
%
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clap . \ `
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___ .- )=| THE REAL KILLER APP IS THE PHRASE
(` ') ' _ /'| "KILLER APP" !!!!!11111111
|-n___n ' (/\|
a:f____________|_L___J__ < L _______________________
GUN TO HEAD, BRAINS ON WALL

%
_____
| D I HOPE JOE THE PLUMBER'S CAREER IS GOING WELL
| |
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:::::::' '::::::::' NOT IN MY BATHROOM
%
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| .=====..=====. | TODAY'S PLANET MONEY INDICATOR IS THREE
| |:::::||:::::| |
jgs | '=====''=====' | THREE IS THE NUMBER OF FAGS ON THIS SHOW
'----------------'
%
___
/]_/ I DON'T BELIEVE IN GHOSTS
|\/|.--/'-.
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\ /|||||(#\|\NNNNNNNNN/
"-.___.-"||||||\#)||"*NNNNN*" JESUS CHRIST GUYS IT'S JUST SHIT WITH
\|||||||||/ MOST PHOSPHOROUS REPLACED WITH ARSENIC
`":|||:"'
.-" "-.
.' (#\ `. THIS DOESN'T EVEN MAKE THE TOP 100
: \#) : JERKABLE SCIENCE HEADLINES LIST
`. .'
"-...-"
Ojosh!ro
%
IT IS OUR GENERATION'S PENTAGON PAPERS !!!111
__ __
__\_\___ ___/_/__ FARTING NONSTOP IN THE BATHTUB
/_______ \___ ___/\_______\
\_\ \/__/\_____/\__\/ /_/
\/_____\/ __
\o | o/_____ ________________/\_\
\ | /_______\_______________\/
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%
.__ .-". LET ME NOT SEEM TO HAVE LIVED IN VAIN
(o\"\ | |
\_\ | | LET ME NOT SEEM TO HAVE LIVED IN VAIN
_.---:_ |
("-..-" / LET ME NOT SEEM TO HAVE LIVED IN VAIN
"-.-" /
/ |
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%
/\ GEORGE SOROS' FIRST LANGUAGE WAS ESPERANTO !!!!!!!
__/ \__
`. .'
x x NO WONDER HE'S SUCH A FAGGOT
vwc /__(\__\
%
*-*,
,*\/|`| \ SOMETHING SOMETING BREAST CANCER SOMETHING SOMETHING
\' | |'| *,
\ `| | |/ ) WHY WOULD ANYONE SUPPORT BREAST CANCER ????
| |'| , /
|'| |, / THAT'S AWFUL
__|_|_|_|__
[___________] OH OH I GET IT THEY'RE FIGHTING *AGAIN* BREAST CANCER
| |
| | WELL JESUS THEY COULD HAVE BEEN CLEARER ABOUT IT
| |
BN |_________| I THOUGHT THIS WHOLE TIME THEY WERE JUST DOUCHEBAGS
%
______.........--=T=--.........______
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O" O" grp
COLLATERAL MURDER !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1111111111
I DON'T KNOW WHAT WORDS MEAN (AND ALSO RAPE WOMEN)

%
! HURRAY IT'S JAMMING DAY ON W6NUT
|
| |~/ (ACTUALLY THAT'S EVERY DAY)
| _|~
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.-;____________;|. _|~
| [_________I__] | (_|
| """"" (_) (_) |
| .=====..=====. |
| |:::::||:::::| |
jgs | '=====''=====' |
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(::::::) /(_)/ `=//===================' hjw
`-::-' / / (/
----------'---'
A PASTA MEAL IS A LOT LIKE THE ARROW OF TIME
BECAUSE IT'S LONG AND STRINGY AND AL DENTE
WHAT
%
_ ________, ,________ _
>`(==(----' '----)==)`<
(__/~~` `~~\__) lbm
I JUST FINISHED A BOOK ON

THE STASI LAST NIGHT
TURNS OUT THEY LOST
WHO KNEW
*** SPOILERS ***

%
|
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|
v . ._, |_ .,
`-._\/ . \ / |/_
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`7-,--.`._|| / / ,
/' `-. `./ / |/_.' SO I'M GOING TO STEP IT UP
| |//
|_ / BY RAPING THIS HERE TREE
|- |
| =|
| |
--------------------/ , . \--------._
jg
%
_.-._
({ ` )
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+-----------------------------------------------------------------------------+
| | |\ -~ / \ / |
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| |~_| \ \___|/ \/ / |
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| |~~--__ |~_|____|____|____|____|____|____|/ / \/|\ / \/ \/|
| | |~--_|__|____|____|____|____|____|_/ /| |/ \ / \ / |
|___|______|__|_||____|____|____|____|____|__[]/_|----| \/ \ / |
| \mmmm : | _|___|____|____|____|____|____|___| /\| / \ / \ |
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| | /| | | 2 3 4 | /~~~~~\ | /| |_| .... ......... |
| | ~|~ | % | | | ~J~ | | ~|~ % |_| .... ......... |
+-----------------------------------------------------------------------------+
HEY YOU KNOW WHAT WOULD BE EVEN WORSE THAN RELEASING A FIRST PERSON SHOOTER
GAME ON A SHITTY CONSOLE WITH THEIR SHITTY CONTROLLERS ?!?!?
RELEASING IT ON A SMARTPHONE INSTEAD

%
_ _ HOLY SHIT IT'S A PITY THAT CHRISTOPHER HITCHENS
(< >) CAN'T HAVE A DEBATE WITH HIS ESOPHEGEAL CANCER
Ò,99,O`
ldb //-\__/-\\ BECAUSE HE'D SURE PUSH ITS SHIT IN
%
_
___ (_)
_/XXX\
_ /XXXXXX\_ __
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/ __ \ / \ \_ _//_\___ __/ // \___/ \/ __/
__/_______\________\__\_/________\__/_/____/_____________/_______\____/____
___
/L|0\
/ | \ AM I THE ONLY PERSON WHO NOTICED
/ \ THE DUPLICATE PHANTOM AIRSTRIP
/ | \ HIGH ABOVE CHICAGE O'HARE
/ \ IN MICROSOFT FLIGHT SIMULATOR
/ __ | __ \
/ __/ \__ \
/ /__ | __\ \
/___________________\
/ | \
/ _|_ \
PT / ____/___\____ \
___________[o0o]___________
O O O
%
____
| | \ [ ] ROCK HUDSON GAY
| | \________
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|/_/| _|_______,' )(
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_____
_..--'''@ @'''--.._ MY FAVORITE CAKE ??!??!?!
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|'._ @ //|###########| URINAL CAKES
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.--._(/ /: '. \ WELL YOU'D DAMN WELL
/ .-\_/ ; '. \ \ BETTER HAIL IT BECAUSE
; | | | \ \ OTHERWISE IT'LL JUST
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_____
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| |
|.-----.| MERRY CHRISTMAS DONGS
.'`.-.'`.
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.===================.
=======================
:=======================:
%
Y\ /Y
| \ _ / | FONTANA-GREEN FANFIC
_____ | =(_)= |
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|| "| d@/@@@@@@@@@@@@@@b| AMATEUR VIDEO MAKER:
|| ()|| ,@/@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@:
|| , || @@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@ NO ONE GIVES A SHIT
||(|)|| '@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@//D ABOUT YOUR FUCKING OUTTAKES
|| ' || '@@@@@@@@@@@@@@/@P
|| , || `@@@@@@@@@@@@/@'|
||(|)|| CCD `@@@@@@@@@@' |
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`---------------"
%
/\ WHICH THE FUCK KIND OF IDIOT HAS A RATING SYSTEM
__/ \__ WITH ONE TO SIX STARS INSTEAD OF FIVE
`. .'
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vwc /__(\__\ OH YEAH: AN AMATEURISH SHITTY ONE
%
_____ ____ _____
/ / \ \ I'M A GEM
/____ /_________\____\
\ \ / /
\ \ / /
\ \ / /
\ \/ / BUT DON'T PLAY BEJEWELED OR YOU'RE A FAGGOT
MH \/
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>=< >=< HONGRY HONGRY HIPPOS
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\\\ / / /
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// //`> `-\\\\Y / / /
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u ,-~~\ <~)_ u\ /\ ,-. ,-. u
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`-----------------------------------------------------------y
THIS IS ANCIENT EGYPTIAN HIEROGLYPHICS FOR

"BALLS ARE TASTY SNACKS, PLEASE DO NOT WASTE THEM, THANK YOU"
%
:
:!!!.
!!!!!> :
!?!!!!!!!!!!!`
:!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!-
!! X!!!!!!!X!!!!!!~`
'!!. :H!?!!XXM!!!!!~
'!!XMM!!!X!!X!!!!!! I'M PERU
!!MMX!MMHX!!!!\!!~
`!MMX!?MMX!!!X! NEVER HEARD OF ME HUH
~!MMXMM!!!!%!
?MMMM!!!!!M!. WELP ME NEITHER SORRY TO BOTHER YOU
MMMMMX!!!!!!: .:
`?MMMMM!!!!!!!!!!!
'!MMMMMX!X?!!!!!!:.:
'MMMMMMX!!!!!!!!X!!:
'!MMMMMXMM!HX!M!!!M
!MMMMM!MMMMMHX!!!
'!MMMMMMMMM$@M8MH
`!!XMMMMMR8MMRMM
`!MMMM8MMMM$f".
"*MMMMRMMMX`
~*MMM$M~
PWH `!*"
%
,-.__ ._
; `-' )
: (
: ;
: _;
,.: '
`. ; COME TO THIS ARCHIPELAGO AND KILL BABY PANAY
: :
`'..-o : _
`,' `.' \ ._ .^.
(,. _\`.` .';_;
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;,
%
,~~;,~~.~~,
(`'` ` ` `, HOLY LIVING SHIT MY LEFT HAND
~~``` ` ` ; HAS SPONTANEOUSLY COMBUSTED
|@ , @ | , ';
' ( ' ` ; MAN I SHOULD HAVE NEVER
`._o__/^;' '; PUT ON SHOES AND LEFT THE KITCHEN
;..' ';.` ; .
' * _ ;.;)_____ . _-
\____/ ) )_____ )' _- __--
\_____/ |-_ -_:-._- __-- ___
|______| --_/:::\_-- _--
/ , \---=|:::::|=----------
| , \ __-\:::/-__ -__
/ ; | _- | -_sd--__ ---
| , |_- . | . -_ --__
/ ; | ` | ` -_
| , ; | ` | ` -
/ ; |
|__'___^^_______^^
~~ ^^
%
./==\
/~~~~~\V ./ / ||
(-_=====) ./ / ||
( -=====\ ./ ./ /| \
( ( )= ./ (./ / | \
) ) _/ ./ ./ / | |\
,__(__ ( ( ___/ ./ / | | \
( L:\\ -v-\ / @@@/@@@@ @@@\@@@
/ /\L:\\VV KK\/ (@@@/OO@@@@)@@@OO\@@@)
/ / |L:\\vKKxx) @/@@@@@@ @@@@@\@
<c < \LL:KKxxX/
\ \ \KKxxXX/
\ \ |=====/ JUSTICE MAY BE BLIND BUT
\ \ /mltggll\ DID SHE EVER FIGHT DRAGONS
) ) |mltgglll\ OR HUNT FOR THE TRIBE
())) mmltgglll\ OR MILL GRAIN OR ANYTHING
_\\___WWWWWWWWW) LIKE THAT ?????
<==\\==>MM#@#!!!|
\\ MM#@#!!:!/
\\ MM#@#!!!| NO SIRREE SHE DID NOT
M\\ M#@#!!:\
MM\\ @#!!:!|
<<:\\ @#:::/
><<<:\/#||||
<>>>:@@#___\
DS \/~oO/ )Ooo
%
.-..-.
.'______`. NORMALLY I WOULDN'T KICK MY GIRLFRIEND
VK / /------\ \ OUT OF BED FOR EATING CRACKERS
`.`.____.' /
_ ,-.______.' BUT THIS TIME I CAUGHT HER IN THERE
_ (,-'__ \ ACTUALLY BLOWING ANOTHER WHITE DUDE
_ (,-' /_/ \
(,-'__ __ __ \
( /_/ /_/ /_/ )
(\ __ ,-'
\ /_/ ,-' )
\ ,-' `-'
`-'
%
__ __
'.'--.--'.-'
.,_------.___, \' r'
', '-._a '-' .' I THINK BY FAR THE WORST CHOOSE YOUR OWN ADVENTURE
'. '-'Y \._ / BOOK HAD TO BE "YOUR CODE NAME IS JIZYA"
'--;____'--.'-,
snd /..' '''
%
____, "||||.W.||
// "| ||||^T^||
|| /^^\\ \\/^\\ /^^\\ //^^|| /^^\\
|| ,-'|| || || ,-'|||| || ,-'||
m1a \\___/\\_/\;_||_ _||_\\_/\;\\__/|,\\_/\;
WHEN PLAYING THE MASS EFFECT SERIES I CAN SOMETIMES

HEAR THE VOICE ACTOR PLAYING SHEPARD ACCIDENTALLY
SLIP INTO HIS SHITTY MONGREL CANADIAN ACCENT
COME ON FOLKS LET'S TALK TURKEY HERE
IF THE LAST 200 YEARS HAVE TAUGHT US ANYTHING IT'S

THAT CANADIANS CAN'T BE HEROES
(AND FOR THOSE WHO WOULD POINT OUT THE FEMALE SHEPARD
I WILL RESPOND SIMPLY THAT YOU ARE A FAGGOT)
%
___,,
(()))))
()) | AH CRAP GOTTA MAKE MATZOH BALLS
())c 6_6 AND FORGOT MY ROLLING PIN AGAIN
)(;\___/)
.' \,/:\,/`.
/ : \
| Y : Y |
|__ | : | | ___
/_ \/-=:;,_ | | /.-.\
(/ )/-..___/-.|__j__\\ Y
_/ /== === =///\== === \ _\_
/ `Y== === === === === ==Y \
( // )-------------------( \\ )
\__/hjw/wba \___/
%
{'{
/ '.
_/ _}
__ __} /
( ` (
/'\____\ /
: |
/ |
/ _/
__.-=' /
.-=' .-='
.-=' _.--='
( .'
\=._ } GUESSING THIS MAP IS GOING TO BE CHANGING SOON
'-._ (
( '=-. P.S. IT'S DRAWN SHITTILY BUT IT'S
/ \ SUPPOSED TO BE KOREA
(_ * \
_.='\\ \
; }
\__ _ _ .'\
" \_ _ . - - . - \
\ \
,=.\ * \
{_. }
:`{ |
/ /
} .
\ |
_] <_.
', /
/ /
\ _.____/
} _____.-.--=\{ /}
\/" ,_} \, `
dew
__,=-.
{__.--'
%
____
| | \ YAY TO MY NEIGHBOR LEARNING TO PLAY PIANO
| | \________
_|_|____________)
/| / | __________)
||__ /____|,' ________|
|/_/| _|_______,' )(
| | :|)( ejm )(
)( VERY POORLY
%
/\ I WAS GOING TO NAME A GAME "DEEPWATER HORIZON"
/\/\ BECAUSE THAT'S A COOL NAME BUT THEN THAT
_|/\|_ OIL LEAK EXPLOSION THING HAPPENED
|______|
|\/\/|
\|/\/\| .''`/:
:\''. \`'. | || / :
: \ || |\ ||| || / o
j _\||__/__\||_\_||/___
|___________________| OH WELL I'LL JUST RENAME IT "EXXON VALDEZ"
| | | | | |
~~~~~~|~~|~~~|~~~|~~~|~~|~~~~~~tre
%
88888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888
88.._| | `-. | `. -_-_ _-_ _- _- -_ - .'| |.'| | _..88
88 `-.._ | |`! |`. -_ -__ -_ _- _-_- .' |.;' | _.!-'| 88
88 | `-!._ | `;! ;. _______________ ,'| .-' | _!.i' | 88
88..__ | |`-!._ | `.| |_______________||."'| _!.;' | _|..88
88 |``"..__ | |`";.| i|_|MMMMMMMMMMM|_|'| _!-| | _|..-|' 88
88 | |``--..|_ | `;!|l|MMoMMMMoMMM|1|.'j |_..!-'| | 88
88 | | | |`-,!_|_|MMMMP'YMMMM|_||.!-;' | | | 88
88___|______|____!.,.!,.!,!|d|MMMo * loMM|p|,!,.!.,.!..__|_____|_____88
88 | | | | | |_|MMMMb,dMMMM|_|| | | | | | 88
88 | | |..!-;'i|r|MPYMoMMMMoM|r| |`-..| | | | 88
88 | _!.-j' | _!,"|_|M<>MMMMoMMM|_||!._| ì-!.._ | | 88
88 _!.-'| | _."| !;|1|MbdMMoMMMMM|l|`.| `-._| |``-.._ | 88
88..-i' | _.''| !-| !|_|MMMoMMMMoMM|_|.|`-. | ``._ | |``"..88
88 | |.| |.| !| |u|MoMMMMoMMMM|n||`. |`! | `". | 88
88 | _.-' | .' |.' |/|_|MMMMoMMMMoM|_|! |`! `,.| |-._| 88
88 _!"'| !.'| .'| .'|[@]MMMMMMMMMMM[@] \| `. | `._ | `-._ 88
88-' | .' |.| |/| / \|`. |`! |.| |`-88
88 |_.'| .' | .' |/ \ \ | `. | `._ | 88
88 .' | .' |/| / \ |`! |`.| `. | 88
88 _.' !'| .' | / \| ` | `. |`.| 88
8888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888(FL)888
YOU ARE IN A MAZE OF TWISTY LITTLE PASSAGES, ALL TEDIOUS AND BORING
IF YOU PROCEED YOU ARE LIKELY TO BE RAPED TO DEATH BY A GRUE

%
___
_.-' \ PLEASE DIAGONALIZE MY BONER TO FIND ITS EIGENVALUES
/ \
/ \
/ `.___
( .--.)\/(,.--. `-.
,',-. \ / ,-.`. )
( / \ / \ ) / \
|| .-| |-. ||---'| \
_|| | | | | ||_ | \
/. \ |_|.---.|_| / ,\ | .^.\
`.\ `--" "--' /,' |/
`> _________ <'
,-' ,---.---.---. `-.
`--'\ \j/ /`--'
`.\ /,'
\\_______// IT'S MAGIC, REALLY SIGNED, DONALD DUCK
hjw `-------'
(ANY CONNECTION TO DISNEY'S DONALD DUCK IS PURELY COINCIDENTAL)

%
___________
/ | | |
,' ,' \/',_ __
,'__/ | ',| "'-,,,,,,,
,/ _|', | | \
| | |', \ | \
|__| | ', ', | \
/ | ', ,_"""""---'-_,'______\
/ | ',,_-'" | | ',
|_________| | / | / ',,'""""|
|__ | ,____/ | _| / |___ /
'\___| ,'_,'|_,-,_______| | / , '/
\,' _', _/ ,, ,',| | \ | '" ,'
\ / |_ , | \|||| ,' | ,'| _"" |,'
' ,' ', | ||||| __ ,' _|_ ,' | |""---/
' ,"""','"""""" | / \"""| /
|_____|_ __''" \ |
| | / """""" | \ /
\ / | | /
\--' | /
| \__ _|__ |
| |__ | ',,,|
| |____| / |
/ _| ,,'_ |
|__________|___,' ,,' /
\ ---' \,/ ,'
\ | ,,,' \_/ I GUESS MAYBE NOW
| |_,'' |/ IS NOT THE BEST TIME
| | []_| TO VACATION IN TUNISIA
\___' /
\ __,'
\_____/FW
%
,--. ,--.
((O ))--((O ))
,'_`--'____`--'_`. WHY WON'T MY PENIS RESPOND TO COMMANDS
_: ____________ :_ LIKE AN INTELLIGENT ROBOT
| | ||::::::::::|| | |
| | ||::::::::::|| | |
| | ||::::::::::|| | | FOR EXAMPLE "CREATE ME A MACHINE
|_| |/__________\| |_| THAT WILL DO ANYTHING I WANT"
|________________|
__..-' `-..__
.-| : .----------------. : |-.
,\ || | |\______________/| | || /. OR "TELL ME THE LARGEST INTEGER"
/`.\:| | || __ __ __ || | |;/,'\
:`-._\;.| || '--''--''--' || |,:/_.-':
| : | || .----------. || | : |
| | | || '----SSt---' || | | |
| | | || _ _ _ || | | |
:,--.; | || (_) (_) (_) || | :,--.;
(`-'|) | ||______________|| | (|`-')
`--' | |/______________\| | `--'
|____________________|
`.________________,'
(_______)(_______) OR "IS THE SET OF ALL SETS A SUBSET OF ITSELF"
(_______)(_______)
(_______)(_______)
(_______)(_______)
| || | WELP SHOT IN THE FACE FOR BEING CLEVER
'--------''--------'
%
_..-""""-.._
_.-' `-._
/ \
: .-'; ;'-. :
| / _.-: :-._ \ | WILD THING
: ; ; o/ \o ; ; :
/ \_!-' '-!_/ \
:'-..__ __..-':
/ \ / \
.'\ \ / /'.
.' ; `-. .-' ; '.
; : '..' : ;
: | __...__ | :
; | .-' `-. | ;
: : / \ : :
: / / \ \ :
; .' : : '. ;
; : : : : ;
; : : : : ;
: / : : \ :
;; \ / ;;
;-. '-. , .-' .-;
;;'-... '-..___..-' ...-';;
";, \ ""--....________....--""/ ,;"
'. .' '. .'
\ / \ /
: : : :
: \ / : YOU MAKE MY DONG CHIRP
/ '. .' \
.' _. / : : '.
____________________"/_) : ') \_/ (' : ( \"_______________fsc__
'-\ '-.' '.-' /-'
%
. .
+ : . I FUCKED THE MUSLIM CHICK IN MASS EFFECT 2
: _ AND THEY DON'T EVEN SHOW ME HER FACE OR ANY
. ! ' (_) PART OF HER BODY ?!?!?!?!?!? SHEESH WHAT A GYP
,|.'
- -- ---(-O-`--- -- -
,`|'`.
, ! .
: : "
. --+--
.: . ! OH GOD I MEAN QUARIAN YES QUARIAN NOT MUSLIM
O!o
%
WE'RE HEADED OFF TO THE GROCERY STORE
TO GET OUR TWO OLDEST KIDS SOME VAGIBLES
,--.
//^\\\ ,;;;, .
((-_-))) (-_- ; /_\
)))((( >..'. .:. .--. |SSt|
((_._ ) /. .| :-_-; /-_-))
_))A ((_//| S || ,`-'. ))-((
`( )`' |___|),;, C \\_/,Ì ))
\ / | | |`' |___(/-'|___() ,-.
)( | | | | | | | | | (-_-) _____
/__\ |_|_| |_|_| |_|_| (\I/\.__|A|R|T|
`'' `-'-' `-'-' `-'-' `'-`' ò' ò'
P.S. IS THIS FAMILY SUPPOSED TO BE ASIAN OR WHAT
P.P.S. SERIOUSLY JUST ASKING I DIDN'T DRAW THIS SHIT

%
FOLKS I THINK RECENT EVENTS
REALLY INDICATE THAT WE SHOULD
INCREASE THE AMOUNT OF CIVILITY
IN CONTEMPORARY PUBLIC DISCOURSE
_
/\) _
_ / / (/\
/\) ( Y) \ \
/ / "" (Y )
( Y) _ ""
"" (/\ _
\ \ /\)
(Y ) / /
"" ( Y)
"" Krogg
%
_/\.
/_ .^\
/ ^. \
_.'^ . ^'.
/_. / _\
--.`_~^ - .. /_/ ^ \`\_
~ ~_ -~_`^ -~ ~^ _~~^~ _ ~^~_~ ^ -/.'_ / | '. \ /\_
'--.. '---.. .". /`-/___^ ^ \ `\ .'^.\_
'-. ~. / | \ '.'. ^ `--^--'|##|'---`-' /_. \ _\
-.__ ~ '. '---. / I \ _ ___ .;;``\/. ' /_/ ^'.
_ ^~./ I \ ~^-, .;;;;`\;;, \// . /_, / _\
--.. _ ~ ^~ - / I \ - ~/;;;' `-----;._ .' \ '.
~- ^ ; ,;";, ;. |;;' _., /_.' ^. '_\
~ '-. '. ; /_|_|_\ ; : \;;' .-' \ . _/'^ . ^ \_
_ '-. '. '. | [_______] | ; |;' / | / _/ | '\ '.
'. ; : ; | (| ' ' |) | : /;;' _,=\__..--` /_/ ^.' ^ \ '._\
'. : ; | \_-_/ | \;,=" ___ ' . .' -/ | '. `\
: : ;: |.--"\=/"--.()))" ._ ,;;; `\ /`-/ -^.' ^\ ` -.`\
: ; : (_\ | _;=",./ |;;, |. \ .' --'-,^ .'-.---^-`
; : : ; / |_,="` |-; --. `;;,__/'._//.-' \\|###| / . '
: : _((()/ | \ | .~~._ `''-.. ' `// '
' __ _.=" ||\__/ \__/|| ^~ `\ ' . . '
.--'` \=" ||`;;;;;;;`||.--~~~^^^~-. .--^, `\ .' .
| / .-~~-.| \';;;;;'/ | .--~. -' ___ `\ |/.--
\ _.-'~^~' | `-===-' | ^~~. ,;;;;`\ ://, ' .
;' ,~~^. |^ , ~ - _ ~ .~~-. /::, `\~. `-. _.
~. `~ ^ -~^ - ^ ; _/;;, | : ~.
'-._ .__. ~.__ .-~~~--._ .-/;;, \ ^.
jgs '._ `=._ ^~._ .__, ;^~ _.-'
~~. .--~~-.__.^ ~. '.
I REGRET NOTHING (GLUG GLUG GLUG DROWNING)

%
_..._
.' '.
/ _ _ \
| (o)_(o) | I'M A BEARDO
\( ) /
//'._.'\ \
// . \ \
|| . \ \
|\ : / |
\ `) ' (` /_
_)``".____,.'"` (_
jgs ) )'--'( (
'---` `---`
%
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX XXXXX XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXY"' '"YXXXXXXX
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXY YXXXY YXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXY YXXXXX
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX XXX XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX XXXXX
XXXXXXXXXX XXXXXXXXY YXY YXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX XXXXX
XXXXXXXXXY YXXXXXXX X XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX XXXXX
XXXXXXX"X X"XXXXX X XXX XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXb dXXXXX
XXXXXXX X X XXXXX X XXX XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXbo. .odXXXXXXX
XXXXXXX XXXXX XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
XXXXXXX XXXXX XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
XXXXXXX XXXXX XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
XXXXXXX XXXXX XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX AoS
NICE SILHOUETTE
LET'S NUKE IT
%
.--._ || .----. ||
/ `. || .' \ ||
| | || )o> ) | ||
/ (o/ || /_. / ||
.' \ _\ || \-' | ||
.' `._' || `. \ ||
.' -. || .' '. ||
/ | | || / / | | ||
/ .' / .''. . | | |.''.
| | | | .-==:==:======:============| | | |:==:=
| | | .--.-. /_/ '..' _|_ | / ) |'..'
| | `.' | | || /.-.\ | / .' | ||
| \ `. / |`-._ || \ / |.' / | ||
| `-._ `-.|._ `-. || |-|`. .-' .' | ||
| /`-. `::.____`...____(.-') `..---' _.-' \ ||
| | `-.._.--._''''----`| | '-._-.'. (_________.|||
| | | | || | |`. _.' .' .'----------|||
| | / \ | || \ / -_.-` .' .' |||
| | | | | || | .' .' / ||
\ | './ '._ .--.______'_____ : .' _......_ ||..
`.__.( `-._--`.-_(_________________ : -' `-' `.
`'-''---` /_/ LGB `:.______...------- `..>
WHATEVER THESE TWO PEOPLE ARE DOING TOGETHER LOOKS DISGUSTING

%
__,,,,_
_ __..-;''`--/'/ /.',-`-. TIGER MOM TIGER MOM TIGER MOM TIGER MOM
(`/' ` | \ \ \\ / / / / .-'/`,_ TIGER MOM TIGER MOM TIGER MOM TIGER
/'`\ \ | \ | \| // // / -.,/_,'-, TIGER MOM TIGER MOM TIGER
/<7' ; \ \ | ; ||/ /| | \/ |`-/,/-.,_,/') TIGER MOM TIGER MOM TIGER
/ _.-, `,-\,__| _-| / \ \/|_/ | '-/.;.\' TIGER MOM TIGER MOM TIGER MOM
`-` f/ ; / __/ \__ `/ |__/ | TIGER MOM TIGER MOM TIGER MOM
`-' | -| =|\_ \ |-' | TIGER MOM TIGER MOM TIGER MOM TIGER MOM
__/ /_..-' ` ),' // TIGER MOM TIGER MOM TIGER MOM TIGER MOM
fL ((__.-'((___..-'' \__.' TIGER MOM TIGER MOM TIGER MOM TIGER MOM
%
.--.
_,-o \ JESUS CHRIST PEOPLE SETTLE THE FUCK DOWN
~ --. , `--__
\`-_____~-_pb_ ANGRY BIRDS IS A FUN GAME
`/~\--~~~~~--'
^ ^ BUT IT'S NOT *THAT* FUCKING FUN
%
.,
O~.~ I'M SOME KIND OF PRIMITIVE PORTRAIT OF THE GODDESS VENUS
(/\~~ AND I'M PRETTY SURE THE MOON LANDING WAS FAKED
)J
_.|)._
.-'. ;) .`-.
\.\ ' ` './ kOs
'--..--'
%
_______
___________________________.'.------`
'---------------------------.'
`. .' I'M A WHEELBARROW AND I'M PRETTY SURE
.-//`. .' OSWALD DID NOT ASSASSINATE JFK ALONE
.' .//.'/`================'
=[=:====:=]= \\||
'. `--' .' LGB \_|
`- -'
%
..
c='o|\ _.-7
cwz ,-( | | |/ o< THE MOTHERFUCKING ONION IS RIPPING OFF MY JOKES
`-.-' (o)-(o)
%
._ ,
(`).. ,.-')
(',.)-.. ,.-(..`)
(,.' ,.)-.. ,.-(. `.. )
(,.' ..' .)-.. ,.-( `.. `.. )
(,.' ,.' ..')-. ,.-( `. `.. `.. )
(,.' ,.' ,.' )-.-(' `. `.. `.. ) DADDY
( ,.' ,.' _== ==_ `.. `.. ) CAN I
( ,.' _==' ~ ~ `==_ `.. ) GO OUT AND
\ _==' ----..---- `==_ ) PLAY IN EGYPT
,.-: ,----___. .___----. -..
,.-' ( _--====_ \/ _====--_ ) `-..
,.-' .__.'`. `-_I0_-' `-_0I_-' .'`.__. `-..
,.-'.' .' ( | | ) `. `.-..
,.-' : `___--- '`.__. / __ \ .__.' `---___' : `-..
-'_________`-____________'__ \ (O) (O) / __`____________-'________`-
\ . _ __ _ . /
\ `V-' `-V' |
| \ \ | / /
V \ ~| ~/V
| \ /|
\~ | V - JGG
\ |
VV
%
\ /
) \ / ( I'M HONG KONG'S MOST FAMOUS COMIC CHARACTER
\,-=~=-./
( / \ )
` . . '
`. ,-=-. ,'
( ( @ @ ) )
`-`---'-'
/ \
| \ / |
|\_-' '-_/|
| |
\ _ / BECAUSE APPARENTLY HONG KONG IS REALLY UNIMAGINATIVE
gpyy '-_/ \_-'
%
_________________________________
|| | | | | | | | | | ||
|| | | | | | | | | | ||
|| | | | |__|__| | | | ||
|| | |__|--' '--|__| | || I WONDER IF HEAVEN'S GOT A GHETTO
|| |__| |__| ||
||__| |__||
(_) (_)
KCK
%
_____
/ '`-._
| -. \
_.,--. '----- | /
,-'' `. / ,'
/' _--\ | ___ | /
| ' | |,.''' ''--:_
| ,' \ | ,--.. `. ONE DAY I'LL OVERCOME
\____/ /' _( '. '\ MY ASPERGER SYNDROME
/ /' '-. . ____
| | \ O,-' '\
| `\ , |
\ | \. O / _/
__\,.\ `-'''\__,. -' |
| _,.-=. ,/
VJ `.____,' \ _,-'
'--------'
%
,_
,' `\,_ CRIKEY I'M A LIMEY
|_,-'_)
/##c '\ (
' |' -{. )
/\__-' \[]
/`-_`\
' \
hjm
%
,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&/
&&&&&&&M|" "|M&&&&&&/ AHEM
&&&&&&M| |M&&&&&/
&&&&&&&M| |M&&&&&&/ I SAID I'M A KEYHOLE
&&&&&&&&M| |M&&&&&&&/
&&&&&&&&M\_/M&&&&&&&/ SO STOP TRYING TO SHOVE THAT PINK FLESHY THING IN ME
&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&/
tw
%
___________
.;---------./| I'M A BAR OF SOAP
// S O A P // |
|'---------'| /
jgs | | / SORRY I DON'T REALLY HAVE
'-----------'` ANYTHING MORE TO SAY THAN THAT
%
emmmmmm~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~\ THE FIRST ONE OF YOU TO POP OFF A
""""""|_____ ) SEINFELD REFERENCE IN MY PRESENCE
"""""""""--------""" GETS A FUCKING STAB TO YOUR
Elijah STUPID FUCKING FACE
%
.-"L"-. I'M NEURODIVERSE AND THEREFORE A TWAT
.--""L""---___ J | |
J J ""L L J J J----"""J""---__
| | J J L L_--""|"--L | F J
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_.-,
_ .-' / .._ WELP OFF TO RAPE GHOSTS IN MY SLEEP
.-:'/ - - \:::::-.
.::: ' e e ' '-::::. BECAUSE IT'S TOTALLY LEGAL THERE
::::'( ^ )_.::::::
::::.' '. o '.::::'.'/_
. :::.' - .::::'_ _.:
.-''---' .'| .::::' '''::::
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::::.::::'._ ::::
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'::::-/__ __.-::::'
'-::::::::::::::-'
jrei '''::::'''
%
___________________________________ ; .--.
[ _ _ ___ _____ _ _ * . |_/ METAL RULES !!!!!!!!!
| \`/ |\| _|\|_ _|\/ \` | |\, *-=@mmmb|U
| M | | E_ |T| | A | | L* . . .--__) |
|_|/|_|/|___|/ |_|/ |_| |_|/|___|/ *`.;"""" ,======{|
[___________________________________], `"" \\ // |
`=====' |
jnh
WHOO HOO I'M RETARDED
%
1+1=2 /\ I'M A MATHEMAGICIAN
\ c")
;-/\> PLEASE DON'T CHECK THE SEX OFFENDERS LIST
|| IN MY AREA BECAUSE I ASSURE YOU I'M NOT THERE
kOs
LIKE I SAID I'M A MATHEMAGICIAN
%
,-----------------------------------.
( FUCK ME IN MY DUMB FACE I'M A COW )
`----y------------------------------'
(--./)
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%
x-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-x
| | | | CHECK OUT MY NUNCHUCKS
| | | |
__|_|-. .-|_|__
(_____) | | (_____)
(______)' `(______)
(______) (______)
(____) (____)
| | | |
|_| |_| I USE THEM TO BEAT OFF HOBOS
seal OH GOD OH GOD I MEAN BEAT THEM

TO SHOO THEM AWAY NOT BEAT THEM
OFF AS IN MASTURBATE THEM BECAUSE
THAT WOULD BE GROSS I SWEAR I
DON'T WHACK OFF HOBOS OKAY OKAY
THIS ISN'T GOING WELL I SHOULD
PROBABLY JUST DROP IT NOW
%
_/
_,_/_
(/ < $
FUCK YOU THAT'S MINE _/|\_ NO FUCK YOU IT'S MINE
(/ | \)
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/\_/ \_| \-| |-/ /\_/ \_| \-| |-/
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\\_ \\_ /| |\_ \\_ \\_ /| |\_
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%
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/ '. .' \ I LOVE YOU KERMIT
| |`\ \ / /`| |
\.--' '-' '--./ /
.' .-'"'"'-. '. /
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jgs `/`\ '()()()()()() /`\`
.---. .---.
( -o- )---( -o- )
;-...-` `-...-; FUCK YOU, YOU CRAZY FAT BITCH
/ \
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| /_ _\ | /
\`'.`'"--.....--"'`.'`/
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`----.____.---) _| .' // WHOO HOO
.'=. (--'/|//
| \)`-\.' __/
\ \ ,' /// I'M MARCHING IN ADVANCE
;. ' /// OF THE RELEASE OF A GREAT MOVIE !!!!!!!!!!!
| `._,'//
\ // FACEFUCKER 3D
)===//]
/ |_// |
\_ (/ |
\ |\
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\ | /
| |/
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/\| |
/`.|____| (CURIOUSLY NOT IN 3D)
`=.\____/
hjw ) '`--.
`='===='
%
,#######,
######### HOLY SHIT A FUCKING SCHEDULED POWER OUTAGE ?????
#########
######### HOW THE FUCK WILL I BEAT OFF
'#######' WITHOUT POWER AND NO PRINTER ?????
.--' '--.
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\ ( / . \ ) /
\ \|jgs | |/ /
\ \_____|_____/ /
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|-|~~|:|~~|-|
| \__/:\__/ |
{-_ -: _= }
{_ /^\_ - }
{ -_ } { - _}
{_ } {_ - } OKAY DRAWING A QUICK SKETCH OF THE PORN
{____} {____} BEFORE SHUTTING THE MACHINE DOWN
(___) (___)
%
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\ / SO, ANDROSS,
' ' YOU SHOW YOUR TRUE FORM!
' '
' '
' '
'..'
%
_,.-'"\
_,.-'" ' \ SIR ISAAC NEWTON CLAIMED THAT HIS GREATEST
_,.-'" ' \ ACCOMPLISHMENT IN LIFE WAS TO DIE A VIRGIN
_,.-'" ' \
('-._ ' \
\ '-._ _-'"''-,' \
\ '-._-' ', \
\ '-._ \ \
sjw \ '-._ \ \
\ '-._ | \
\ '-:_ \
'-._ '-._ \
'-._ '-._)
'-._ /
'-._ / SO YOU ALWAYS HAVE THAT TO LOOK
'-._ / FORWARD TO, "NEURODIVERSE PERSON"
'-._ /
'" IN THE MEAN TIME, SHUT THE FUCK UP
%
o
o /
\ /
\ /
\ /
+--------------v-------------+
| __________________ @ | HA HA, LAUGHING AT THE PRETTY REPORTER
| / , ooo \ | HAVING A STROKE WHILE ON CAMERA
| | ---=====|#O#### | (\) |
| | ` \ ) | | WAIT WHAT DO YOU MEAN IT WASN'T A STROKE
| | ,;`, | | | (-) | BUT RATHER JUST A "COMPLEX MIGRAINE"
| | // o ', | | | |
| \ ' o \ /, | | / :|||: | WELL FUCK THAT THEN IT'S NOT FUNNY ANYMORE
| -ooo-------------- :|||: |
+----------------------------+ UNF UNF UNF
[] []
%
______
\ \
\ \ MY SHIT BE SPINOZAN
\ \_
_\ \
\ \
\ \_
_\ \
\ \
\ \_
_\ \
\ \
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%
___ _...------..._
.'` ```""--...___...-"` `'-.
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Y_/ / / `/`;-..__ __...-;")`|`"/-._ Y
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I HAVE MANY LEGS BUT ONLY ONE DICK
SEE IF YOU CAN FIND IT

%
________ .====
[________>< :=== SEE NO EVIL
'====
________ ___,,,,,,,
[________>__________\ HEAR NO EVIL
________ .==.
jgs [________>c((_ ) SPOON NO EVIL
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=, .=
=.| ,---. |.=
=.| "-(:::::)-" |.=
\\__/`-.|.-'\__//
`-| .::| .::|-' THIS IS NOT A JOURNEY ALBUM COVER SO I DO
_|`-._|_.-'|_ NOT KNOW WHAT THIS SCARAB IS DOING HERE
/.-| | .::|-.\
// ,| .::|::::|. \\
|| //\::::|::' /\\ ||
/'\|| `.__|__.' ||/'\
^ \\ // ^
jrei /'\ /'\
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,`. ,'`.
: | \/ / | _..
,--.._ | ' : ;.' ) I'M A FLOWER
\ ._ `: | ,' ,' /
`._ ` \ .;../ _..'.._
_..-`-.._::::::.' -.. `.
,' _.. ::SSt::-.._ __..'
`..___..-''`;:::;' `.
,' , ,' |` `:. `. `. BEES FUCK ME BECAUSE THEY'RE
| ' ,/ , ; \`.._,' DISGUSTING LITTLE PERVERTS
`..-'/ / / \ \ :
\__,' `.__;
%
,,::,,
(::..::) HOLDING UP THE MISTLETOE FOR YOU TO KISS ME
\\||//
/;;;;;;\ ,
|;;;;;;| /|,
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'\/ )/ ')(` `
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'\/` OH GOD THIS IS AN AWFUL THISTLE THAT MEANS
`||~ I GET KICK TO THE NUTS NOT A KISS ON THE MOUTH
hjw ~||'
'||`
`||~
%
,, ".
, " . :;_\,_: ARE THESE BASKETBALLS OR LEMONS ?!??!?!?!?!
;__\,_: .. /` ,
. /` , ``. " YOU DECIDE
` . "
ejm
%
_____.-._____
______.------'-------------`------.______
'=========================================`
((__`----._____________.----'__))
`---' |-| `---'
| __|o|__ | THE ARTIST WHO DREW THIS
| .' _---_ `. | HAS NEVER TOUCHED A GIRL
\______| .' _ `. |______/
| | (_) | | AND NOW NEVER WILL
\ \ / /
JB `-=====-'
%
' '
' /\ '
( ") COME HERE OFTEN ?!?!?!?
()
.-||-.
/ || \
||
cjr || UNF UNF UNF
/ \
(/ \)
%
/\.-./~\
(o//o)| \-._ .-"-.
.~.'~ | | )`-----' \._ BLOODHOUND GANG DETECTIVE AGENCY
(").'/.| | ( /-.\
(_/-' \_/ | \ | \\
\ / / ____.-\ / )) WHENEVER THERE'S TROUBLE
/\| /_.-' \\ \ (( WE'RE THERE ON THE DOUBLE
// || \\ \ \|
\\ ||' // \\
(/ || _// \\
" (_/ (_/ (_/MJP
" " "
%
,-----. PLEASE CLICK >>> HERE <<< FOR ALL THE LATEST ON CHARLIE SHEEN
\======'.
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dew }_`============>-
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SIT ON ME AND BEAT OFF
____ /
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| |_.---._|___|
_ | o| | | |_o_|
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| `\.---._| '. .-'-.}`.<>.`{-'-. / BEEF ROAST AU JUS
.--; . ( .' '. \ .---.{ <>()<> }.--..-' MIXED WITH CARNITAS
/ _ \_ './ _. `-./ _},'<>`.{_ `\ IS QUITE POSSIBLY
( = \ )`""'\;--. .' .-'/ )=..=;`\`- \ THE GREATEST TASTING
{= (| ) /`. ( / /| \ ) THING EVER
( =_/ )__..-\ .'-..___.' : '.___..-'
\ }/ / ;.____.-;/\ | ` |
'--' | .' | \ \ /'. _.'
\ ' / |\.\ ; /`--.-' NOW DON'T FUCKING
) .'`-. / \ \ |`| TELL ANYONE ELSE OR
/__.-' \_.'jgs \ \ |-| I'LL CUT YOU
%
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| | `._ `-----.. |
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'
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jgs . ' \|/ ' .
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I'M THE BLACK DOT FROM ADVENTURE FOR ATARI 2600
/
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| |
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tQn
%
____
____ , -- - --- -.
((( (( /// // ' \\-\ \ )) ))
/// /// (( _ _ -- \\-- \\\ \)
((( == (( -- (( )) )- ) __ )) )))
(( (( -= (( --- ( _ ) --- )) ))
(( __ (( ()((( \\ / /// )) __ )))
\\_ (( __ | | __ ) _ ))
,| | |
`-._____,-'
`--.___,--' [INSERT DUKE NUKEM
| | FOREVER JOKE HERE]
| ||
| || |
, _, | | |
( (( (((( /,| __| | )))) ))) ) ))
(())) __/ ||( ,, ((//\ ) ))))
---------((( ///_.___ _/ ||,,_____,_,,, (|\ \___.....__.. ))------ool
____/ |/______________| \/_/\__
/ \/_/|
/ |___|___|__ || ___
\ |___|___|_ |/\ /__/|
/ | | \/ |__|/
%
____
/_ _ \
( ")" ) NO WONDER JIMMY KIMMEL WON'T MARRY YOU
) \=_/(
( _)\_)_ I'VE SEEN PHOTOS OF YOU IN A BATHING SUIT
) /)___/ \
( (( ( \_ \
) \\ / `.\
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| | | /-,|
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%
HURRAY FOR TITS
/
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________
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______________
| |____| | |
| .' `. | | I AM A GONG
| : (_)|
| : : |
| : : |
| `.____.' | CARRY ON, THAT IS ALL
_|______________|_
KCK
%
.. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
.. . . . . . . .#######. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
.. . . . . . .#. .#### . . . ####. . .###############. . .
.. . ########. ##. ##. . . ######################### . . .
.. . . ##########. . . . ######################. . . . . .
.. . . .######## . . . . ################### . . . . . .
.. . . . ### . . . . .#####. ##############. # . . . . .
.. . . . . ##### . . . .#######. ##########. . . . . . . .
.. . . . . .###### . . . .#### . . . . .## . . . . . . . .
.. . . . . . ##### . . . .#### # . . . . . ##### . . . . .
.. . . . . . ### . . . . . ##. . . . . . . . ### .#. . . .
.. . . . . . ##. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
.. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . BW/WS
I CAN'T WAIT UNTIL THE MIDDLE EASTERN PROTESTS COME

FULL CIRCLE AND THEN THEY JUST START UP AGAIN IN TUNISIA
AND THEY DEMAND THAT INDIANA JONES BECOMES THEIR
PRESIDENT
GET IT TUNIS WAS MENTIONED IN RADIERS OF THE LAST ARK
OKAY FINE
%
.__ .-". I WHIP MY HAIR BACK AND FORTH I WHIP MY HAIR BACK AND FORTH
(o\"\ | | I WHIP MY HAIR BACK AND FORTH I WHIP MY HAIR BACK AND FORTH
\_\ | | I WHIP MY HAIR BACK AND FORTH I WHIP MY HAIR BACK AND FORTH
_.---:_ | I WHIP MY HAIR BACK AND FORTH I WHIP MY HAIR BACK AND FORTH
("-..-" / I WHIP MY HAIR BACK AND FORTH I WHIP MY HAIR BACK AND FORTH
"-.-" / I WHIP MY HAIR BACK AND FORTH I WHIP MY HAIR BACK AND FORTH
/ | I WHIP MY HAIR BACK AND FORTH I WHIP MY HAIR BACK AND FORTH
AsH "--"
%
_.--._
,' `. DO THESE FAT DISGUSTING FOLDS OF FAT
/ __) __` \ MAKE ME LOOK FAT
( (`-`(-') )
/) \ _ / (
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)( /-.,--'\ _ \X/`
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Ojo/VK/FS/ejm
%
|
################## |
# # |
# XXXX # |
# XXXX # |
#### @ # |
# |
#### # |
# +-+ # |
# +-+ # | IT'S MADE
# # | OF WOOD.
######## ######## |
# # |
# # |
------------------------+
YOU ARE IN THE YELLOW
ROOM. IT IS DECORATED ALL
IN YELLOW. NOWIT IS EMPTY
EXCEPT FOR A DESK & BED. ?FUCK DESK
%
_
_-' "'-,
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| ___^-"`
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%
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IS THIS ESPERANTO
%
/`-._
/ `,--"'*
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( o ) <--- WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS
`--'
Ojo
%
*** %% I HAVE NO FRIENDS
*****%%>>
*****||
#####||%% %%
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( " )|||| //
__|\\_||||//
( \ \\#=#=#=#
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\ \.\|E)#=#=#
/\/=(B|
#==0=@@
#=***=#
#=ooo=#
#=#=#=#
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<@@ @@> ES
%
I'M A PENCIL
NOBODY LIKES ME ANYMORE
/
/
________________________________________________
/\______________________________________________/`-.
<()>____________________________________________< ##
\/______________________________________________\,-'
%
|\ ___ SIR YOU'RE BARELY A BEATOFF

| ) / '-. ENTHUSIAST MUCH LESS A
||.+ L (__ \ BEATOFF ARTIST
|| '-.\ ___)a \__ \
|| `-. /.__ J__//--.
|J `-. |_ '-._ \ _.------.
| L ` L__. _/`----.____ / b a (__c>
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|_ ( .-' ---
`---
%
___
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| |
| | /~~~\
_____\___/_____ | |
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| | | | | |
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| | | | | |
| | | | | |
NV |___|___| DIARRHEA |__|__|
%
________ ___,,,,,,, WATCHING A TUTORIAL VIDEO ON MONADS !!!111
jgs [________>__________\
SLITTING WRISTS DOWN THE VEIN AND NOT ACROSS
%
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###%###%####
######%##%##### OM NOM NOMMING MANY MILLISIEVERTS
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| / | / %% / | | / %%EEEEEEEEEEE'
| | / / ##% | \ | .Y
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.......------"""""" __.. . \\ -. _ . IT'S AMAZING HOW
__..--'' .-' `+ () `-' DISTURBING SWEDISH
__..---""" ..........|_ `-. . CHILDREN'S BOOKS ARE
'' ....:::::::::::::.\.' ) .
.-' ````::::::''''.""" .
.-' . .
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%
.-------.
/ \
| \_ \ THIS IS THE SECOND-WORST BLOWJOB EVER
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'\:.__ / .' '. \:.__ / WHAT IS MY SLEEP NUMBER SETTING ????
||____|.' '.||____|
||:. | |:. |
||:. | |:. |
||:. | |:. | "PISS THE FUCKING BED AND
||:. | _..---"````````'---. |:. | CRY MYSELF TO SLEEP"
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%
______ ___
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(________ ____) @@@ OKAY EVERYONE UNDER 30
(________) @@@@@@@@
@@@@@@@@@@@@@ I'M TAKING AWAY THE WORD "LIKE" FROM
@@@@@ @@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@ YOUR VOCABULARY FOREVER AND SEEING
@@@@@@@@ @@@@@@@@@@@@@@@ HOW YOU ATTEMPT TO COMMUNICATE
@@@@@@@@@@@ @@@@@@@@@@@@@@@
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_\@)_ ___
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_/ _\V^V^V^V/_
| /\ .=// ^.^ \\=.
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/ /-`. _\___/_ APRIL FOOL'S !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1111
|/\/\ _@->` _ `<-@._
\ \.' @-'`$ `'-,@ '-.
\ , @ , _.- `\
\ .'| : |` /'. _.' LEAVING MY DICK OUT
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(/^$ WELP BAD DAY AT WORK SO IT'S TIME GO OUT
(\ /) AND STRANGLE STREETWALKERS
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\ | /
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jgs /Y\
%
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\ `''| BANGALORE ????? MANGALORE ??????
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`._ ]. YOU GUYS ARE GOING TO RUN
| \ OUT OF ANGALORES AT THIS RATE
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____ I'M AN EXPERT AT PROCASTURBATING
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| /,_/
|/|\ |__
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%
$$ $
\O/$ I'VE JUST COME UP WITH AN AMAZING NEW
$ | GET-RICH-QUICK SCHEME
/_\
_|___|_
_|___|___|_
_|___|___|___|_
_|___|___|___|___|_ I CALL IT
_|___|___|___|___|___|_
_|___|___|___|___|___|___|_ QUANTUM CHROMOECONOMICS
|___|___|___|___|___|___|___|
\o/ \o/ \o/ \o/ \o/ \o/ \o/
| | | | | | |
/ \ / \ / \ / \ / \ / \ / \
hjm
%
__ __ __ __ __ __ __ __
(// \\) __(// __ (// \\) __(// __ (// \\)
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I HEARD IT THROUGH THE GRAPEVINE / THAT YOU TOTALLY TAKE IT UP THE ASS
%
_ O _ __| I'M AN ETHICAL HACKER
|<)/=// (_O|
_T__)>_ ___| THAT'S WHY I CAN'T GET OFF THIS FUCKING TOILET
cww
%
*
:
| SEATTLE IS NOT A REAL PLACE
|
| SO LOOK AT THIS ASCII AT INSTEAD
:|:
|||
_____|||_____
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---<~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~>---
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\___________/
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%
I'M PRE-OP I'M POST-OP
\ /
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AND TOGETHER THEY ARE DISGUSTING

%
TOILETS
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ò--^--o--^--o'
O!o /""\_/""\
%
__
_____....--' .' FINALLY !!!!!!!!111
___...---'._ o -`(
___...---' \ .--. `\ A NEW MASS EFFECT NOVEL
___...---' | \ \ `| *AND* A MASS EFFECT ANIME
| |o o | | |
| \___'.-`. '.
| | `---' FINALLY I CAN SAW MY
'^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^' LGB OWN FUCKING HEAD OFF
%
HE SAY YOU AMAZON CROWD PRAYAH
.---. .---. /
/ \/ \
\ /\ /
'---' '---' sjw
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.-'(P)'-.
|absolut| VODKA POWERS MY CRYSIS SUIT
| ~~~~~ |
| ~~~~~ |
| ~~~~~ | (CLOAK ENGAGED)
'_______'
%
______________________________________
|XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX|
|X ( ( ) ) \ \ X| MY MOVIE PITCH:
|X .----() ) ( ( )) | |X|
|X/ | ___( ) ) ( )(( ) ) | |X|
|X \V.---( ) /"> ( ( \ )_\\__/ |X| THINK "HEAT" MEETS
|X // || ( `-.,---. `X| "WEST SIDE STORY"
|X // || / \ X| WITH JUST A PINCH
|X\// || \X| OF "HOWARD THE DUCK"
|X | _____/| X|
|X | /,, ,, / X|
|X)| /, ,, ,| X|
|X | \\|.,-' __ X|
|X | |||| ( ^ X|
|X | (| \\ ___ (;(~\X|
|X | ||_ \\_ /"_ \ ("_( "X|
|X \ (,),)(,),) / \_/ )( X|
|X " "" " " " ^^ " "" X|
|X "" " "" """ "" """ X|
|XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX| snark^
%
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/ _ | I WEAR GLASSES
#_/.\==/.\
(, \_/ \\_/ THEREFORE I AWESOME IN BED
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.
,' `. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST GAME DEVELOPERS
,' `,' `.
____ '.' `,' `. CAN WE ALL JUST AGREE TO PUT THE FONT
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H.P. LOVECRAFT ATE POOP
THERE I SAID IT
(SORRY FOR THE ASCII ART, THE CLOSEST

I COULD COME TO "YOG SOTHOTH" WAS "YOGA")
%
,. _
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;,/ ;
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_
/ \ I'M GOING TO WEAR A SCARLET "A" PIN ON MY LAPEL TO "OUT"
/ _ \ MYSELF AS AN ATHEIST !!!!!!!!!
/ ___ \
/_/ \_\ WAAAAAAAAAH PLEASE PAY ATTENTION TO ME
%
______
___.--------'------`---------.____
_.---'----------------------------------`---.__
.'___=]===========================================
,-----------------------..__/.' >--.______ _______.---'
]====================<==||(__) .' `------'
`-----------------------`' ----.___--/ JB
/ /---' `/
/_______(______________________/
`-------------.--------------.'
\________|_.-' THANK GOD FOR BBC AMERICA !!!!!
NOW I CAN WATCH STAR TREK: THE NEXT GENERATION RERUNS

%
THIS IS A TERRIBLE WAY TO GET A BLOWJOB
/
(\ /
\_O
_____\/)_____
~~~~~~~~~~~~`----\----'~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
dt/ejm ~~~~ ~~~~ \ ~~~~~~ ~~~ ~~~~~~
%
ONE DAY I'LL BE EXTINCT
.```. _.''..
; ``` ``'. AND ON THAT DAY
: d `. THERE WILL BE MORE JUSTICE IN THE WORLD
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\ ```"""""""``` / MY UNIVERSE IS FINITE AND BOUNDED
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YOU KNOW IT'S A BAD WORKDAY WHEN IT'S 9 PM
AND I'M CHECKING THE PORNO SITES FOR THE FIRST TIME TODAY
/
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. . * . . . . * . . . . . . * . . . .
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I JUST TOOK TWO RITALIN SO NOW I'M IN A MOLNIYA ORBIT

%
__
/ ; JESUS PORTAL 2 JUST TOTALLY RIPPED OFF
_.--"""-.. _. ALL THE IDEAS FROM NARBACULAR DROP
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_ . - = - . _
. " \ \ / / " . I JUST DISCOVERED I HAVE A DEGENERATIVE
, \ / . EYE DISEASE AND WILL INEVITABLY GO
. \ _,.--~=~"~=~--.._ / . BLIND ..... SO NOW'S YOUR CHANCE LADIES
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LGB . _/ \_ .
" - ./. .\. - " I SHOULD WAIT UNTIL I'M BLIND FIRST HUH
%
,.=,,==. ,,_
_ ,====, _ |I|`` || `|I `| I REALLY LIKE CRYSIS 2
|Ì| || `==,|`` ^^ `` |
| `` ^^ ||_,===TT`==,,_ | IN PARTICULAR IT'S GREAT THAT
|,==Y``Y==,,__| \L=_-`' +J/` YOU CAN CHOOSE YOUR PLAY STYLE
\|=_ ' -=#J/..-|=_- =|
|=_ -;-='`. .|=_- =|----T--,
|=/\ -|=_-. . |=_-/^\ =||-|-|::|____ ALTHOUGH MY USUAL
|=|| -|=_-. . |=_-| | =|-|-||::\____ CONSITENT STYLE IS
|=LJ -|=_-. . |=_-|_| =||-|-|::::::: TO RUN UP RIGHT IN
|=_ -|=_-_. |=_- =|-|-||::::::: FRONT OF AN ENEMY
|=_ -|=//^\. |=_- =||-|-|::::::: WHILE CLOAKED,
, |/&_,_-|=|| | |=_- =|-|-||::::::: DECLOAK, DROP MY
,--``8%,/ ',%|| | |=_- =||-|-|%:::::: TROUSERS, THEN POWER
,---`_,888` ,.'''''`-.,|,|/!,--,.&\|&\-,|&#::::: JUMP AND AIRSTOMP
|;:;K`__,...;=\_____,=`` %%%& %#,--- THE FUCKER
|;::::::::::::| `'.________+-------\ ``
/8M%;:::;;:::::| | `-------
SOMETIMES I YELL AN INAPPROPRIATE SLUR BUT SOMETIMES NOT
THAT'S MY PREROGATIVE
%
YOU KNOW WHAT THIS COUNTRY REALLY NEEDS RIGHT NOW ?!?!?!?
THAT'S RIGHT
***CITIZEN PRODUCERS***
-------------------------------------------------------------------------,
[] [] [] [] [] [] [] [] [] [] [] [] [] [] [] [] [] [] [] [] [] [] [] [] [
-----------------------------------------------------------------------/
\|/ | O - ^^ | | _ _ |
--O--|/ \ O ^^ | ^^ ||||| | ___ ( ) ( ) _/
/\ /|\ | --|-- | ^^ |O=O| |_ __/_|_\,_|___|___/
/ \/\ |~~~~~~~~~~~|~~~~~~| ( - ) | `-O---O-' |
/\ \/\_| / \ | .-~~~-. | -- -- -- -- -- /
/ /\ \ | ' ` | //| o |\\ |______________ |
--------------------------------------------------------------_/
[] [] [] [] [] [] [] [] [] [] [] [] [] [] [] [] [] [] [] [] ['
------------------------------------------------------------' OTMK
%
XX /\
XX || XX UNER LANGEN TEACHEN KRAUTEN
||_------||------_||
xXXXx || H |________| H || xXXXx
| H |------+| U |/\ /\ /\| U |+------| H |
|_H_|_______|___|__|==|__|___|_______|_H_| CS
%
I'M A MOTHERFUCKIN' WALRUS
/
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| `'_{}_ | SORRY ABOUT THOSE 72 VIRGINS
| /` `\ |
\/ == == \/ WE REPLACED THEM WITH 72 GAY BEARS
/| (.)(.) |\ FROM SAN FRANCISCO
\| __)_ |/
|\/____\/| YOU'LL GET ALONG FAMOUSLY
| ` ~~ ` |
\ /
jgs `.____.`
%
\`-'.'. /`. |\
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\ \ \ .'|
' / -..__.| / | HEY I'LL SHOW YOU MY TITS ON
| /| | \ '\ / MYFREEMCAMS.COM FOR 30 TOKENS*
\ | \ | | | | |
\ / . | | / \ | COME ON PEOPLE DON'T FREELOAD
| | \ \ | | | |
| \ | `. | | | |
| \ / `' | /_ `.
/' \ `---/_ `. `.\.' * 30 TOKENS TRANSLATES TO $1.50
`.\.' LGB `.\.' FOR THE MODEL (BEFORE TAXES)
%
.
. . .'. \ /
\ / .'. .' '.' ' -= o =-
-= o =- .' ' / | \
/ | \ |
| | I SURE HOPE THAT THE ELECTROMAGNETIC
| | RADIATION BEING TRANSMITTED BACK
| .=====| AND FORTH AREN'T GIVING ME CANCER
|=====. |.---.|
|.---.| ||=o=||
||=o=|| || || ALSO I'M FUCKING RETARDED
|| || || ||
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______________)(______________
/ (__) \ THIS IS A TABLE
/________________________________\
[________________________________]
\ \ / / \ \ / / THERE ARE MANY LIKE IT
\ \/ / \ \/ / BUT THIS ONE IS MINE
_\/ /________________\ \/_
[_/o/__________________\o\_]
/ /\ \ / /\ \
lc/ \_\ /_/ \_\
%
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|
__,--./|.--,__
.` \ \ / / `. HEY CHECK OUT MY FRILLED SHIRT
.` \ | / `.
/ / ^|^ \ \ (SHOT TO DEATH BY NAVY SEALS)
/ / | |o | \ \
/===/ | | | \===\
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| | |
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| | |
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%
#####
#### _\_
##=-[.].] OUR SLOGAN:
#( _\
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.' \___/ \/;;
/ .' `-----\ `/ IT'S NEVER TOO LATE TO BEAT OFF (TM)
( ). ,----( )
( ) |' ( )
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/,:::::::/ ::::__.--'''
|:::::::| _:'
|:.:::::| ,'
|:::::::| |
/::::.:::| | ON YOUR WAY HOME
__,-'::.::::::| | PICK ME UP SOME TOUCANS
_,.--''::::_::::::::::\ |
''::_::,:--'' `'--.:::::\ ;
-'''::::::::::::::::\:::::`. ; YES THAT RIGHT YOU HEARD ME
:::::::::::::::::::::|:.::::`-..-
::;::::::::::::::::::|::::::::::/
:/::::::/::::::;:::::|::::.::::/ GET ME SOME FUCKING TOUCANS
(::::::/::::::/::::::):.::::::'
:`:__,;::::::;:::::,':::::::'
,-':::`.__,-'::::,'::::::-'
:::::,-'::::::,-':::_:-'
_,-':::::::,-'::_:-' AND MAKE IT FUCKING QUICK
jrei::::,-_:--''
::,::--''
%
_
, L\ WHY ARE ALL THESE CAM WHORES TALKING
\/OO\ ABOUT MICROSOFT FOUNDATION CLASSES
|/ \
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%
.-'"""`-.
( )
|`-.___.-'| THIS IS EITHER WATER OR SULFURIC ACID
|.-'"""`-.|
| | TAKE A SIP AND FIND OUT
|`-.___.-'|
| |
|. ' " ` .|
| |
`-.___.-' VK
%
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\/.--,
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.-""-/""-. AN APPLE A DAY MAKES BITCHES RUN SCREAMING
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\\ \';*"."@,'// HERE'S A FLOWER BOUQUET
\ \\".@;"/ /
\_ \_,/ _ / GIVE IT TO YOUR GIRLFRIEND OR WIFE
,-'`../ ,. TO SHUT HER UP FOR TEN SECONDS
(-[]-) '
/.|)(|,\ THEN REPEAT EVERY TWENTY SECONDS
gpyy `'
%
______________________________________________________
__________|___________,_______________________________
__________|__________//,______________________________
__________|__________\|/;..___________________________
__________|___________\\//\,._________________________ THIS
__________|___________/ '\/_________________________ PARROT
__________|__________/,* _ |_________________________ DOES
__________|_________( ) ( ) (_________________________ NOT
__________|__________\( " \________________________ BELIEVE
__________|____________) \\______________________ IN
__________|___________( \\\___________________ PARROT
__________|____________\ ( \\ \\\_________________ RELIGIONS
__________|____________(\ \\ \\ \\\_______________
__________|_____________\\ \\ \\ \\\_____________
__________|______________\\ \\ \\ \\____________ AND
__________|_______________\\ \\ \\ \\___________ BOY
__________|________________\-\ \\\ \\\\___________ WILL
__________|_________________\ /\_ \\\ \\___________ HE
__________|__________________(( \-___- \\\__________ NOT
__________|___________________\ \_______ \\\_________ SHUT
__________|____________________\ \_______ \\\________ UP
__________|_____________________\ \________\\\_______ ABOUT
__________|______________________\ \________\\\______ IT
__________|_______________________\ \________\\______
__________|________________________(--)_______________
__________|___________________________________________
__________|___________________________________________
bni
%
___
<___>
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//\\ _,-;' `--._______,--' `:-._ //\\ I AM A WOK
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`( ; : )' COOK THINGS IN ME
:.( ),; AND THEN FUCK OFF
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gpyy `-._______.-'
%
_,.---.,_
_,' ',_ IT'S TIME FOR A GAME OF "GUESS THE ANIMAL"
,-' ', ,' '-,
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| `'-. '.\ [ ] /.' .-'` |
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`'-.,_ `'-'` _,.-'` [ ] A DYKE
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%
+
========
| ` ,' | I'M A BLENDER
|o @@ o|
|`(" )'|
| S::2 | PUT YOUR DREAMS IN ME
\:\/:/ AND THEN I WILL UTTERLY DESTROY THEM
/""""\
|______|
JS
%
/;
/ |'-,.
/ ' `"---,.__
/ ' ,' , '"--,"|
/ ' , ,' ,"::| IF THESE ASPIES ARE SO FUCKING
/ ' ,' , ,"::::| "NUERODIVERSE" HOW COME THEY
/ ' , ,' ,"::::::L CAN'T FUCKING SPELL THAT WELL
/ ' ,' ,' ,"::::::::L
/ ' , , ,":::::::::J
k-,._ ,' _.":::::::::::J
\. `"----'"".J::::::::::::| HINT: YOUR BRAIN BEING BROKEN
\. .-, .L:::::::::::| DOES NOT MAKE YOU SPECIAL OR
\. ( .J:::::::::::! MEAN THAT YOU HAVE AN ALTERNATE
\. `-- .L:::::::::/ LIFESTYLE OR CULTURE
\. .-. .|::::::::/
\. ( ) .J:::::::/ IT MEANS YOUR FUCKING BRAIN IS
\. `-' .L:::::/ FUCKING BROKEN YOU FUCKING IDIOT
\. L .|::::/
\. !__ .J:::/
\. __ .L:/
\. L_) .|/
`-,__,-' kth
%
SUCK MY COCK
\ WHAT IS YOUR FUCKING PROBLEM

\ DIDN'T YOU HEAR HIM TELL YOU
\ TO SUCK HIS COCK
\
\ /
/
.'*'*'. .'```'. /
(..)O))) (..)O)))
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_,..---..,_
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(( '.'.' )) YOU MUST FIRST SUCK A FUCKING DICK, FAGGOT
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/ \ THESE BOURGEOIS FUCKS ARE OPPRESSING ME SO
' }' I'M GOING TO START A REVOLUTION
', ,'
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Jaive
%
I WISH I WERE NEUROTYPICAL
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FUCK MAZES
%
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/-7 k WHY WOULD ANYONE EVER IN THEIR RIGHT FUCKING MIND
.-' o.-'/ PUT GABE NEWELL'S FAT FUCKING FACE ON ABSOLUTELY
/ .; \ ANYTHING UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES IN ORDER TO SELL IT
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\ (/
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/ \ ( EXCEPT FOR MAYBE A BLOOD SUGAR MONITOR
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\(__)/ YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW UNCOMFORTABLE THIS POSITION IS
|-..-|
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/ / / /|::::|\ \ \ \
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MAN PEPSI TASTES LIKE SHIT
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| / / | /' / | (____________) ||.'`-.________________________
| \__/ | / / | ____________ ||`._.-'~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~`
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| ][ | | | __________________
| ][ | | |____________________...-------'''- - =- - = - =`
| ][ | /| | \- = - -= - = - =- = -=|
| ][ | ( | | |= -= - = - = = - =--= = - ==|
| ][ | \| |____________________/- = - -= =_- =_-=_ -=_=-=_=_=-|
| ][ | | | ```------...___________________.'
| ][ | |________|
| ][ | \ / _
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| / \ | ,-' `-, /\___________ (\\\\\\\||=|
| \__/ | | | \/~~~~~~~~~~~` ^^^^^^^ \=/
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| `._.' | |
| |,',-,-,-,-,-,-,-,-,-,-,-,-,-,-,-,-,-,-,-,-,-,-,-,-,-==,
|__________\---------------------------------------------------=='
WHEN THE SPACE SHUTTLE IS FINALLY RETIRED I THINK WHAT WILL

BE NOTED MOST IN THE HISTORY BOOKS IS THAT TOOL BAG THAT
DUMB BITCH LOST DURING ONE OF THOSE MISSIONS A FEW YEARS AGO
PROVING ONCE AND FOR ALL THAT IF YOU WANT A SPACE JOB DONE RIGHT
DON'T SEND A GODDAMN GIRL

%
I'M A FIST
I GO UP PEOPLE WHO ARE TOO YAPPY
.----.-----.-----.-----.
/ \ \ \ \
| \/ | | __L_____L__
| | | | ( \
| \___/ / \______/ |
| \___/\___/\___/ |
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%
PUT ME DOWN SO I CAN FUCK ME THAT STAPLER
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.-'@ & #`'-. // SORRY BUT TAKE UP DRAWING SHIT USING ME
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\____/ /' _( '. '\ I'M DEFINITELY SOME MANNER OF THING
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| | \ O,-' '\ THANKS FOR LISTENING
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| | / "
| / |
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,----------------------.
| SNAP INTO A SLIM JIM |
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/ dSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSb \ SCREECH CRASH CAR ACCIDENT
/ \
`-------------------------------------------'
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%
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/%%%%\
ejm
%
____
/(( ))
( )6 6( ) I CAN'T BELIEVE THAT BRINK DOESN'T ALLOW
(_) l (_) PLAYERS TO CREATE FEMALE CHARACTERS
\ <> )
____) (_____
( \____/ )
) ( )( ) ( THAT'S JUST RACIST OR HOMOPHOBIC OR WHATEVER
/ / \ / \ \ IT'S CALLED THESE DAYS
/ / \ / \ \
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.'.'|| | ||`----'"` ``'`
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.___..-'.' / \ I HEREBY ANNOUNCE MY CANDIDACY FOR
`----'"` / .-. \ THE OFFICE OF PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES
(.'.(___).'.)
`.__.-.__.'
jgs |_| |_| OOPS NEVER MIND I TOOK A NICE BIG DUMP
`.`-'.' SO I HEREBY OFFICIALLY WITHDRAW MY CANDIDACY
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%
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/ \ // WHENEVER POSSIBLE I LIKE TO USE
: ==\ <\// THE LATIN PHRASE "IPSE DIXIT"
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/.--.\ | "DICKSHIT"
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`\/'\`. NO I DON'T KNOW WHAT IT MEANS BUT WHO CARES
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%
_,-""`""-~`) LOOK AT ME NOW

(`~_,=========\
|---,___.-.__,\ I'M GETTING PAPER
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ALL DEAF PEOPLE ARE GAY
EVERY SINGLE LAST ONE OF THEM
WHEN THEY TRY TO TALK THEY'RE ALL

NURP DURP HNNGGGG DARRRR
WHICH ARE OF COURSE, COCKSUCKING NOISES
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_
_|=|__________
/ \ I LIKE EATING MAGNETS
/ \
/__________________\ I EAT THEM ONE AT A TIME
|| || /--\ || || EVERY FIFTEEN MINUTES
||[]|| | .| ||[]|| UNTIL I NEED TO CALL 911
()||__||_|__|_||__||()
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jgs^^^^^^^^^^====^^^^^^^^^^^
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/________\
//( ( ( ( \\
|| <o> <o>((||
||) ) ` ) )|| ALLY MCBEAL WAS A LITTLE
|| (\___( ( || TOO FAT FOR MY TASTE
\|) ) \)_|/
/ ((\_v_/ \
/ /) x \ \
| | x | |
| \ x / |
| | x | |
| |\ x /| |
| |/\ x /\| |
| | \x/ | |
| | V | |
/____\ /____\
| | | |
/ \ / \
| | | |
`~~| |~~'
|\ /|
| \ / |
|___V___|
| / \ |
| / \ |
|/ \|
/ \
/ \
______/ \_______
============================
Alyssa
%
.---.
/ _\ HELLO THIS IS A MESSAGE FROM THE FUTURE
/ (={) THE YEAR IS 2023
/ /_/ SHIT IS PRETTY MUCH THE SAME, TV STILL SUCKS
( |(_
/\_.--'// \
/L.|`--'( \ ,
/ /\_____`).J\____'==HH===HH
\ \ \ ` | \__..--."'
\ \._) ` \ ( MY NAME IS "RANDOM DUMB BITCH"
\_/(`-..-'L ) I WANTED TO EXPRESS THAT I WISH I HADN'T
/ `\_( L\,--.' POSTED MY FULL BODY AND FACE ON /R/GONEWILD/
> --'`-- \\ (_) IT'S MAKING IT REALLY HARD TO GET A JOB NOW
| | \ Y
|__/| \---'\ END TRANSMISSION
| | `. _)
\ ; ) |
)`)| | |
| | | |
| | |(o) Ojo/JRO
|(o) / \
/ | \(\_">
\(\_)
%
DEAR MRS. CONGRESSWOMAN GABRIELLE GIFFORDS,
HELL, I'D STILL HIT IT
SINCERELY, DUKE NUKEM
(()))
/|x x|
/\( - )
___.-._/\/
/=`_'-'-'/ !!
|-{-_-_-} !
(-{-_-_-} !
\{_-_-_} !
}-_-_-}
{-_|-_}
{-_|_-}
{_-|-_}
{_-|-_} ZOT
____%%@ @%%_______
%
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;`.(\\J : : WE BRITISH REFER TO THIS
'. ; ; : AS "GETTING SACKED"
`-._ \ . : ;
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| :\ `-.____. ;
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%
COME TO MY LOUD, OBNOXIOUS, FAGGOTY HOUSEWARMING PARTY
GET DRUNK AND PISS ALL OVER MY NEW NEIGHBOR'S WINDOWS
SO I GET IMMEDIATELY EVICTED AND LIVE IN A FUCKING GUTTER
LIKE THE HUMAN DETRITUS I AM
: _ _
: `v'
`. ; .' ,~-.
`. .-'''-. .',~') _ _ ( )~.
;' `; ( `-. ' V ` ,' )~. _ _
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.' \/ `. : |/#/=(/_)(_\)=\#\ (`~ (_\`|)o ~ )
/#/_= |_\/_| _\#\ >( `~' ._,~ '-.
/#/ _=[______]= _\#$' `~, c ~. c)
/#/=,---. _ = ___ =\#\`( ( ~ _.' <'
/#/ /_____\ ==/,-.\ =\#\( c c___ ) )
`|=(/_|_|_$ //.-.\\=_|' `-.__,' //`-'
`v@|==| : : |=(/:|_|:\)=| `,-\ `'/`,-
`v@'~|= |_;_;_| =| | =| \ |
_/\_/\_,(c`@'|=[_______]=| =()|==|_/\_/\_| |/\_
-||-||-@~'(_@|= _o@&8o_ =| | =|-||-||-( |||-
_,@`v-@'~ c@._|_['%8o&8']_|_____|__| || || | )||
,@C @,~' @,-v~' """""""`[_______] | |
'v-~,@,` (\-/) / / `*~ _.-' `-.
={ }= ~*'( ( `*
`* ) ( \ `.~*' hjw
_/ \_ `*~\ `.
`* \ / \ `.`*'
*' `-))' `*' \ `. *'
(( `* \ `.
\)
%
HEY WILL I NEED TO UPGRADE MY SOUND BLASTER CARD TO
BE ABLE TO RUN THE NEW DUKE NUKEM GAME
THANKS, AND KEEP ON GAMING!!!
+-----------------------------------------------------------------------------+
| | |\ -~ / \ / |
|~~__ | \ | \/ /\ /|
| -- | \ | / \ / \ / |
| |~_| \ \___|/ \/ / |
|--__ | -- |\________________________________/~~\~~| / \ / \ |
| |~~--__ |~_|____|____|____|____|____|____|/ / \/|\ / \/ \/|
| | |~--_|__|____|____|____|____|____|_/ /| |/ \ / \ / |
|___|______|__|_||____|____|____|____|____|__[]/_|----| \/ \ / |
| \mmmm : | _|___|____|____|____|____|____|___| /\| / \ / \ |
| B :_--~~ |_|____|____|____|____|____|____| | |\/ \ / \ |
| __--P : | / / / | \ / \ /\|
|~~ | : | / ~~~ | \ / \ / |
| | |/ .-. | /\ \ / |
| | / | | |/ \ /\ |
| | / | | -_ \ / \ |
+-----------------------------------------------------------------------------+
| | /| | | 2 3 4 | /~~~~~\ | /| |_| .... ......... |
| | ~|~ | % | | | ~J~ | | ~|~ % |_| .... ......... |
+-----------------------------------------------------------------------------+
BM
%
--------------------------------------------------------
______3_4_0-0._________5_0_0_0_0_______.--.___________
[%%%%%%%%%%[CJ]%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%[CJ]%%%%%%%%%%%]
/"\ A /"\
=== /_\ A ===
\_/ __ /_\ \_/
|%| __ __ __ [%%] __ __ __ |%|
/"\ __ [##][##][##][%%][@@][@@][@@] __ /"\
=== [##][##][##][__][__][__][@@][@@][@@] ===
\_/ __ [##][##][__][__][__][__][__][@@][@@] __ \_/
|%| [##][##][##][__][__][__][__][__][@@][@@][@@] |%|
|%| [##][##][##][__][__][__][__][__][@@][@@][@@] |%|
/"\ [##][##][##][__][__][__][__][__][@@][@@][@@] /"\
=== [%%] [%%] [%%] [%%] [%%] ===
\_/ [%%] \_/
|%| [%%] |%|
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/"\ [%%] __ [%%] /"\
=== [%%][%%][%%] ===
\_/ [%%] \_/
|%| O |%|
|%| |%|
/"\ /"\
=== ===
\_/ \_/
|%| |%|
/"\ ______ /"\
=== (______) ===
\_/ \_/
|%| {=}{=} |%|
--------------------------------------------------------
I'M ANNOUNCING A BOYCOTT OF GAME YAPPITY YAP BECAUSE

THEY DIDN'T INCLUDE THE FAGGOT UNICORNS FEATURE
LIKE I WANTED TO AND EMAILED THEM ABOUT 27 TIMES AND
POSTED ABOUT 1045 TIMES ON THIS VERY BLOG
COMMENTS: 0
%
HERE'S A QUICK TEST TO SEE IF YOU'RE DEALING WITH A LADY OR A TRANNY:
.-""".
/ .--.)
| ( ^>^
\__, _(
_ ) ( _
/` `\__/ \ ,|/_
/`\ .__ _/`\//``
/ / \ / \_/
`\\ )==( WEARING A SKIRT?
/|)` `\
/\_ _, \ [X] LADY
/ '-< )_,\
/ //=\\\ [ ] TRANNY
'._ _.'
`";";;"`
|_||
jgs )_||__
L \--'
`'-'
NOW COMPARE:
., _
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((|)))))
((/ a a
))) >)
((((._e((
,--/ (-.
/ \ <\/>/|
/ /) Lo )|
/ / ) / |
| / ( /
| / ;/
||( | NOT WEARING A SKIRT?
/ )|/| \
|/'/\ \_____\ [ ] LADY
\ | \
\ |\ \ [X] TOTAL FUCKING TRANNY
| | ) )
) )/ /
/ / /
/ | /
/ | /
/ ||
/ ||
'-,_ |_\
( '"'-`
gpyy \(\_\
%
,i$$$i.
$$$$$$$ I HANG OUT IN THE BIG STALL SO THEY CALL ME HANDICRAPPED
#$$$$$#
`$$$'
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|$$$eeeeee
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,!$$$ |$$$
$$$# |$$$$$$$$$$$i.
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(#$$!. `!$$$!
`#$$!. ,!$W! `V'
`#$$Wi!. ,!iW$$#'
`##$$$$$$$$$##'
`!#####!'
%
? WHY DON'T YOU JUST NAME YOUR FUCKING COMPANY
! /_\
|C_,_/_____| "NANOFAGS"
ejm98 | ||:::::f| O+
_/\ AND GET IT OVER WITH
f /|
| \~\
%
_--._
___-----___ ,' . `-
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,'. --. ``:::.`. ` ` )
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;m ,' -##, "" "--_: ""
: # ` m ww =(\ ' :\ .
| ` (_ ` ` |(
| . ' / ` WHAT DID ADM. AKEN BOSCH KNOW
: ' `-.__ . ) : AND WHEN DID HE KNOW IT
--` oO `-' :: / ;
( ::\ ,##. ' ' ,' /
)_-_\ \ `` /,-' /
``._ ` __,--'--'_,'
`-____ ___,-v rjm
' -----
%
ONE DAY I'LL HAVE THE RIGHT TO VOTE
o . _ .
. (_) o
o ____ _ o
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o \/' _/ ,_ , o o (_)
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--------(_/------(_<_/--\_)--------hjw
%
. ..
__..---/______//-----. (( )
.".--.```| - /.--. =: ( VROOM! ))
(.: {} :__L______: {} :__; __--( __- -_= )
*--* *--* jnh
NOW THAT I HAVE THE CONCH I'D LIKE TO PROPOSE SOMETHING
I SUGGEST AN OFFICIAL DAY OF MOURNING OVER THE UNTIMELY AND

TRAGIC DEATH OF JACKASS STAR BAM MARGERA
OR WHICHEVER ONE OF THOSE FUCKING STUPID TWATS INEVITABLY

KILLED HIMSELF (AND SOMEONE ELSE) DUE TO GROSS INCOMPETENCE
FUCK THEM ALL IN THEIR FUCKING STUPID BALL-PUNCHING

MANSLAUGHTER-COMMITTING NECKS
OKAY WHO WANTS THE CONCH NEXT

%
,____.
,-^ ^-.___
/ \ ^-. THIS GAME IS RATED T FOR TITS
_| /~\ | \
_-^ | (#) |0 |
/ | \_/ |_____|____
/ \ / _-^~~~\
/ \ _-`-_ _-' _-^ \ \|
/ \ / ~~~~~~| __-^ \ \ \
| \/ \ / \ \ _-^^
| | \/---______-^
\ \ |########/
\ \ |##\||///
^-_ \ |###|//' '
\_-^\ |###|/| '
\ | |###|/| o
_ | / |###//| '
< \_/ / |-----~~~~~~~~---____
\___/ |\ _-^\^^--__ ^.
/ \_/##\\| ^^--__-'
/ _=--^' '
,_____. / _-^
/ ,--- _-^_-^
|| _-^_-^
|\ _-^/|
\`---'/
`^^^' FRM
%
, , HERE'S A CHEAT SHEET VERSION OF THE GOOD BOOK
/////|
///// | - ALL THINGS THAT CAST MUST CAST INTO THE
///// | TOILET (LEVITICUS 12)
|~~~| | |
|===| |/| - FUCK ALL YOU FAGGOTS (ROMANS 1)
| B |/| |
| I | | | - CHRIST ON A CRUTCH MY BALLS REALLY ITCH (JOHN 3:16)
| B | | |
| L | / - "FO SHIZZLE MY NIZZLE":
| E | / DO PEOPLE REALLY TALK LIKE THIS? (LUKE 8)
|===|/
jgs '---' - WELL FUCK ALL OF YOU THEN (EXODUS 7)
%
_________ _________ _________
|* ? *| |% \|||/ %| | |
|J * | |J /~~~\ | | |
|O /|\ | |O( o o ) | | |
|K ||| | |K | ! | | | |
|E ' A ` | |E | v | | | |
|R / \ | |R \_/ | | |
|* J L *| |% %| | |
~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~
Bej
WHO STOLE MY TEKWAR TRADING CARDS
%
= I ALSO DID THE TEN COMMANDMENTS: THE MUSICAL TOO YOU KNOW
O
/|\/` ALTHOUGH I DID NEED A TELEPROMPTER
\|
'|\
/ / ejm
%
_.-.
F"--'
.j'. I'M FINDING IT HARD TO HAVE SYMPATHY FOR PEOPLE WHO'VE
| | BEEN PAYING A MONTHLY FEE FOR YEARS TO PLAY A GAME
| | THAT IS BASICALLY A BIG BORING SPREADSHEET IN SPACE
| |
| |
'--' fsc
%
_______________ MODERN-DAY JAPANESE POP BANDS AND GAME SHOWS
|,----------. |\ ARE THE UNITED STATES' ULTIMATE REVENGE FOR
|| |=| | THE SURPRISE ATTACK ON PEARL HARBOR
|| || | |
|| . _o| | | __
|`-----------' |/ /~/
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ / /
Ojo ~~
%
_____
/~/~ ~\ I'VE ALREADY PREPARED THE GRAVESTONES FOR ALL THE
| | \ FUCKING IDIOTS WHO ACTUALLY EXPECTED THAT
\ \ \ DUKE NUKEM FOREVER MIGHT NOT COMPLETELY SUCK DONKEY DICKS
\ \ \
--\ \ .\''
--==\ \ ,,i!!i,
''"'',,}{,,
%
*******
~ *---*******
~ *-----*******
~ *-------*******
__ _ _!__ *-------*******
_ / \_ _/ \ |::| ___ **-----******** ~
_/ \_/^ \/ ^\/|::|\|:| **---*****/^\_
/\/ ^ / ^ / ^ ___|::|_|:|_/\_******/ ^ \
/ \ _/ ^ ^ / |::|--|:|---| \__/ ^ ^\___
_/_^ \/ ^ _/ ^ |::|::|:|-::| ^ /_ ^ ^ ^ \_
/ \^ / /\ / |::|--|:|:--| / \ ^ \
/ \/ / / |::|::|:|:-:| / ^ \ ^ ^ \
_Q / _Q _Q_Q / _Q _Q |::|::|:|:::|/ ^ \ _Q ^
/_\) /_\)/_/\\) /_\) /_\) |::|::|:|:::| /_\)
_O|/O___O|/O_OO|/O__O|/O__O|/O__________________________O|/O__________
//////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////
ESCAPE FROM BALL MOUNTAIN
(A FEW HOURS PASS)
RETURN TO BALL MOUNTAIN AFTER REALIZING HUGE MISTAKE

%
________________________________
/ "-_
/ . | . \
/ : \ | / : \
/ '-___-' \
/_________________________________________ \
_______| |________________________--""-L
/ F J \
/ F J L
/ :' ': F
/ '-___-' /
/_________________________________________--" HS
THROUGH THE WORMHOLE WITH THE BLACK DUDE

THAT WAS PRESIDENT BEFORE THE ACTUAL
BLACK DUDE PRESIDENT BECAME PRESIDENT
IF YOU FOLLOW WHAT I MEAN
WAIT I'VE GOTTEN MYSELF CONFUSED WHO'S

FUCKING UP THESE CUE CARDS
%
\
\ \ .`---.
\ \__________ __/ _ \
\ | ;(_-\_\
\ \ ___,_:_C) "-._
'_____________\_,' / | \ "-._
/ | \ ` /
/ | \ \ /
/ | \ \/
\b | \ |
\n | \ /
\i | \/ I'M A HANDKERCHIEF
\ | /
\ / USE ME TO WIPE OFF WHATEVER
\ / CANCERAIDS OR HIVCOLD YOU HAVE
\ /
\ / AND THEN BE SURE TO STICK ME BACK
V IN YOUR POCKET YOU DISGUSTING FUCK
%
__ HAPPY BIRTHDAY USA
) `"""";._/}
| ' / BE SURE TO GET HOME AT A REASONABLE HOUR
\ |
jgs '--. .-.\ DON'T DRINK AND DRIVE
` `
AND DON'T DO ANY FAGGOT SHIT
%
__ __
(,.) ,. (,.) ,. (,.) ,.
|| || || || || ||
|| || || || || ||
,.||.. || ,.||.. || ,.||.. ||
//""""\\ || //""""\\ || //""""\\ ||
|| ||
|| || || || || || ||
|| ||
|| || || || || || ||
||____|| || ||____|| || ||____|| ||
`.____.' || `.____.' || `.____.' ||
|| || ||
|| || || Krogg
______________||__________||__________||_________
^
|
|
^
IF SOMEONE IS |
PEEING HERE |
THEN GO HERE
^ YOU FUCKING
| IDIOT
|
NOT HERE
LIKE A CREEPY
FAGFACE
%
_____ _ _ ___ ____ ____ _ ____ _____
|_ _| | | |_ _/ ___| | _ \ / \ / ___| ____|
| | | |_| || |\___ \ | |_) / _ \| | _| _|
| | | _ || | ___) | | __/ ___ \ |_| | |___
|_| |_| |_|___|____/ |_| /_/ \_\____|_____|
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| || \| | | | | _| | \| | | | | | | | | \| | / _ \ | | | | \ V /
| || |\ | | | | |___| |\ | | | | | |_| | |\ |/ ___ \| |___| |___| |
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| _ \| | | | |_) || || \| | | _
| |_) | |_| | _ < | || |\ | |_| |
|____/ \___/|_| \_\___|_| \_|\____|
tQn
%
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' '
ALICE COOPER IS TOTALLY NOT NOT NOT NOT NOT NOT NOT NOT NOT NOT NOT NOT GAY
ANYONE WHO THINKS OTHERWISE IS NOT NOT NOT NOT NOT NOT NOT NOT NOT GAY
%
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"u """""""""""""""""" u"
""""""""""""""""""""
I KEEP HEARING THAT DVDA IS PHYSICALLY IMPOSSIBLE

BUT IT SURE SOUNDS LIKE THE PEOPLE SAYING SO
HAVE A CASE OF THE QUITTERS
%
^
< > COUNTDOWN TO THE LAUNCH OF THE SPACE SHUTTLE ATLANTIS
| |
| | THREE
| |
" | ^ | " TWO
| || | | || |
| || ( ) || | (EXPLODE)
|_|| "_" ||_|
| ||/"_"\|| | TWO
|_|/ "_" \|_|
| / "_" _\ |
|<___"|"___>|
| | ^^^ | |
/_\ /_\
/|||\ """ /|||\
/|||||\ /|||||\ JD
%
_.--._
,' `.
/ __) __` \
( (`-`(-') ) INTRODUCING KIRSTIE ALLEY AS SAAVIK
/) \ _ / (
/' )-._.' . \ ___
( ,--., `.)___(___)
)( /-.,--'\ _ \X/`
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( ."-.
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%
,,,,,
\ e e\
C _\/ |\\, I'M WATCHING CAGNEY & LACEY:
)\_) \_ / THE MENOPAUSE YEARS
_/|/_ _//
,'\ ~ /'-,_/ \
/ \_/ / /
, | \_._,-"
( < _'
| \ \
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|// | '
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| | |
._., - |.,_ //
_\-' )___|__|_ '-._
b'ger /____\__\
%
( (
_)_) I HAVE CUPS AND CUPS OF WATER
( ( |====|-+ AND COFFEE AND JUICE IN MY OFFICE !!!!!111
) ) |\/\/| |
(----)-) |====|-+ I AM HOARDING LIQUIDS LIKE
\__/-' \____/ SCHIZOPHRENICS RAISED IN THE WILD
`----'
%
__________
|DAILY NEWS|
|&&& ======| I AM A NEWSPAPER AND THUS
|=== ======| A RELIC OF A BY-GONE AGE
|=== == %%$|
|[_] ======| SO PLEASE SPREAD ME ON THE
|=== ===!##| GARAGE FLOOR AND HAVE YOUR
ejm97 |__________| DOG PISS AND SHIT ALL OVER ME
%
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\|/ | O - ^^ | | _ _ |
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/\ /|\ | --|-- | ^^ |O=O| |_ __/_|_\,_|___|___/
/ \/\ |~~~~~~~~~~~|~~~~~~| ( - ) | `-O---O-' | OTMK
/\ \/\_| / \ | .-~~~-. | -- -- -- -- -- /
/ /\ \ | ' ` | //| o |\\ |______________ |
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[] [] [] [] [] [] [] [] [] [] [] [] [] [] [] [] [] [] [] [] ['
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CHECK OUT JULIA ROBERTS IN HER LATEST FILM "EAT, PRAY, SHIT"
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/////|\\
``````\\\ A CAMGIRL SO UGLY I HAD TO CLEAR MY BROWSER CACHE
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| \ Starshine
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_
/ \
/ '.\ DON'T JUMP IN ME OR YOU'LL DIE
/ '.\
/ '.\ JUST KIDDING COME ON JUMP IN ME
~|~~~~~|~ IT WON'T HURT MUCH
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AMC
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+---------------- oO-(_)-Oo --------------------+ DBP
KILROY WANTS TO LICK YOUR DICK
BUT NOT IN A GAY WAY

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,-.
_,. / / I'M A PLANE
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//_ `----' {+> I FLY IN THE AIR AND THAT'S AWESOME
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|:::::::::: | RED BULL GIVES YOU AIDS
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________________________
/ \
,--. / |
| |___________________________________________/_____________________ |
| |_________________________________________________________________) |
| | \ |
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\________________________/
I AM A PADDLE FOR ROWING
NOT FOR BOTTOM-SPANKING
JUST WANT TO BE CLEAR SO

THERE ARE NO MISTAKES
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`===---===-' `-' `-' `-' `-' `-' `-' `-' Shimrod
OH MY GOD IT'S ***CARMAGEDDON*** !!!!!!!!!!!11111111111111
WAIT IS IT ALREADY TOO LATE TO MAKE A JOKE ABOUT THIS

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I'M A SUPERNOVA CANDIDATE
SO BACK THE EFF OFF

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YOU'LL HAVE TO USE XML
JSON IS FOR CLOSERS

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,---.
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O | |
.------o---.| | IT'S FSCK THE PORN DRIVES NIGHT
(`"-------'''| | HERE AT THE DUMB FAGGOT HOUSEHOLD
`--.._____..| |
| |
| |
| |
| |
| |
| |
| |
| |
NW | |
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| | WE WOULD LIKE TO EXTEND OUR HEARTFELT SYMPATHIES
| | TO THE CREW OF THE SPACE SHUTTLE ATLANTIS
| | AND OUR HEARTS AND PRAYERS GO OUT TO THE FAMILIES
" | ^ | " OF ALL THE VICTIMS OF THIS TRAGIC ACCIDENT
| || | | || |
| || ( ) || | SPACE EXPLORATION IS NOT FOR THE FAINT OF HEART
|_|| "_" ||_| BUT RATHER FOR THE BRAVE
| ||/"_"\|| |
|_|/ "_" \|_| WAIT IT LANDED SAFELY ?????
| / "_" _\ |
|<___"|"___>| NEVER MIND FUCK YOU GUYS THEN WHAT A SHITTY ENDING
| | ^^^ | |
JD /_\ /_\
/|||\ """ /|||\
/|||||\ /|||||\
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|---| BLAM BLAM BLAM BLAM
|[_]|
|:::| CAN YOU HEAR ME NOW
|:::|
`\ \ BLAM BLAM BLAM BLAM
jsm \_=_\
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YAY MY LATEST COPY OF _INSPIRE_ MAGAZINE ARRIVED TODAY !!!!!!!!
WAIT THIS ISN'T ANYTHING LIKE _HIGHLIGHTS_

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_.--._
,' `. I BELIEVE IT'S MY MORAL OBLIGATION
/ __) __` \ TO OCCASIONALLY BEAT OFF TO FAT CHICKS
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::: =, ; TURNS OUT PLUTO HAS
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. .
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|:`.`.__..__.'.';|
|| :-" "-; || WHEN I SEE A PREGNANT WOMAN'S STOMACH
:; :; I KIND OF WANT TO POP IT OPEN
/ .==. .==. \ TO LOOK FOR GOLD COINS / AMMUNITION
: _.--._ ;
; .--.' `--' `.--. : WAIT THIS IS NOT A 1-UP IT'S JUST SOME GAY FETUS
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___ //////
(__|_______--/| / /// TURNS OUT MYFREEHAMS.COM
__/ +--+| |-\| (> )/ IS REALLY DISAPPOINTING
|_|ooo+--+|_| /_ /
`-------' |_, //
|___/
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I URINATED ON A DUCK THAT WAS CROSSING AT A POSTED DUCK CROSSING
IS THIS ILLEGAL OR JUST GROSS

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[||] IF I COULD SAVE TIME IN A BOTTLE /
||||
| | I'D SURE AS FUCK DRAW IT BETTER THAN THIS
| |
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_
_-' "'-,
_-' | d$$b | WHENEVER I FEEL DOWN I JUST PICTURE
_-' | $$$$ | VIC MACKEY POINTING HIS S&W .45
_-' | Y$$P | IN SOME GANGSTER'S FACE AND SHOUTING
_-'| | |
_-' _* | | "CLARO?"
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| ___^-"`
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_____
/~/~ ~\ MICHAEL DOUGLAS IS OLD
| | \
\ \ \ HIS DAD WAS REINCARNATED AS
\ \ \ CATHERINE ZETA JONES
--\ \ .\''
--==\ \ ,,i!!i,
''"'',,}{,,
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_____|~~\_____ _____________
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__-_______________ /__/_______| |_________
( |---- | |
`---------------'--\\\\ .`--' -Glyde-
`||||
DREAMS ARE COOL
I MEAN YOU KNOW THOSE THINGS

YOU HAVE AT NIGHT
WHEN YOU'RE ASLEEP
DREAMS AS IN ASPIRATIONS
ON THE OTHER HAND
ARE A WASTE OF TIME
%
_____
\"_ _"/
|(>)-(<)|
../ " O " \..
sjw----""(((:-.,_,.-:)))""--------
IT'S OFFICIAL !!!!!!!!111
RED FACTION FRANCHISE DEAD
SEE LIVE AUTOPSY BY PLAYING

RED FACTION: ARMAGEDDON
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____________________
/| ... .....''./|
/ .''' . ''''_ . ' / | I HOPE JESSE VENTURA IS OKAY
/.' ' ____ ' /_/ . / /.'.''. BEING A USELESS SACK OF SHIT
/'. . \ /. / ' / / ''''' WHEREVER HE IS RIGHT NOW
/.' . ' \__/' / . .'/ /
/.' ' . . '.. / /
|~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~| /
|___________________|/
AMC
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| (-' I DON'T THINK ANCIENT EGYPT
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WELCOME TO BE MEXICO
WHERE YOU WILL BE ATTACKED BY
UH
WILD LEOPARDS ??? WHAT IS THAT THING SUPPOSED TO BE EXACTLY

%
#######
#######o### IF ANOTHER MOTHERFUCKING APPLE FALLS ON MY
#####o#######o# MOTHERFUCKING HEAD I WILL DEVELOP DIFFERENTIAL
####o#\#|#/######## AND INTEGRAL CALCULUS AND DETERMINE THE LAW
########\|/##o#####o# OF UNIVERSAL GRAVITATION THEREBY INVENTING
# }}{ o # PHYSICS
}{{ (
o }}{_ c_\ EITHER THAT OR KEEP READING THIS BOOK ON
}}{\( HOW TO PICK UP CHICKS (I'M REALLY BAD AT IT)
ejm97 }{{ \/\\ o
%
_.------._
_.-' '-._
/ \ THIS IS A PHONE BOOTH
'------------------'
| .--------------. |
| | || | | DON'T ENTER IT OUR JACK BAUER
|[] || | | MAY SET YOU UP IN A HORRIBLY
| |======||======| | IMPLAUSIBLE SCHEME TO DO SOMETHING
| | || | | OR OTHER THAT COULDN'T POSSIBLY
| | || | | HAVE REALLY SUCCEEDED
|[]======||======[ |
| |======||======| |
| | || | |
| | || | |
|[]======||======| |
| | || | |
| '------''------' |
|__________________| LGB
%
__
~%( o`=- I'M CALLED A "PEACOCK" BECAUSE
\ \ MY COCK IS THE SIZE OF A PEA
/ /
__/~~\__
( / ~~ \ )
| | | | YES THAT'S LAME BUT I'M A FUCKING PEACOCK
\| |/
___vv__vv__nmf
/ `` '' \
|_____________| WHAT YOU'RE SERIOUSLY EXPECTING
~`/%%%%\`~ BETTER FROM ME ON SHORT NOTICE
/ %% \
~@ /``\ @~ I'M A FUCKING BIRD
/ %% %% \
~@ / \ @~
/ %% %% \
~/@/~ ~\@\~
(\/ \/)
`(~ ~)`
`(_(@) (@)_)`
(_`____`_)
!$%$%$!
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I HAVE NOTHING OF ANY INTEREST TO SAY
',
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_/ __ _/=====|_ ___\ ___ \_
jjs _/ ___ _/======| ____ \_ __ \_
ALL DEAD HERE

%
OUR FATHER IN HEAVEN, / HALLOWED BE YOUR NAME, /
YOUR KINGDOM COME, / YOUR WILL BE DONE, /
ON EARTH AS IT IS IN HEAVEN
BUT HOW ABOUT SOME FUCKING CLOTHES HERE

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.' ``--. THIS IS A DRILL
.-' .-:-._ . \
[) `--' :;) | THE RAPE YOU'RE EXPERIENCING IS ONLY A DRILL
:--. -' /
`----) | HAD THIS BEEN AN ACTUAL RAPE WE WOULDN'T HAVE SPENT
/ | SO MUCH TIEM TALKING ABOUT HOW THIS IS ONLY A DRILL
/ | \ OVER THE P.A. SYSTEM
/ |
| | MAYBE
/ |
| \
/ ;
/ AsH
%
___
/ \
/ O O \ CELEBRITY GHOST STORIES
| O |
, | | , WHERE YOU CAN HEAR STUPID FUCKING CUNTS
\/( )\/ TALK ABOUT THEIR STUPID FUCKING IMAGINARY
| ) ( | SHIT TO LAST ON TO THEIR FIFTEEN MINUTES
|( )| OF STUPID FUCKING FAME
|| | |'
`| | | FUCKING CUNTS
| | |
| /-' I'M TALKING ABOUT BOTH MALE AND FEMALE CELEBRITIES
|_.' SO DON'T GET ALL WHINEY ON ME IT'S A FULLY
VK APPROPRIATE WORD TO USE HERE (WAS: RE: CELEBRITIES)
%
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| | |. ( `.
| | ,l ) `. ) I'M GOING FOLLOW MARINE SGT
/{ | \ ( `\ SCOTT MOORE'S LEAD AND ASK
('| |\ \ ; `. ) JANE FONDA TO ACCOMPANY ME
(;!| |`\ \ ',' ) TO THE MARINE CORPS BALL
YX| |XX\ \XXXXXY
!____j_) \__,'> _) IMAGINE THE HILARITY
,_.'`--('Y,_' ,^' /`! THAT WOULD UNSUE
mab L___-__J L_,'`--'
%
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_____/ / MM'L'MM \ \____
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| | | ,-' '-. | | HD `.
| | | |(o Y o)| | | | I DON'T KNOW WHAT THIS IS
| \ \ \) . (/ / / | BUT I'M WILLING TO HEAR MORE
| |\ \ ( _ ) / /| |
| |_`.`-. \ Y / ,-',<_| |
| `-.``-----'',-< `. |
| ______``-----''___`. `. |
| | `. `. |
| | `. `.|
| | |`.,'|
| | | |
| | hjm | |
| [] |______________________| [] |
|________________________________|
%
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/__
/_=.
|\ ___
| ; _.--/.=` BE SURE TO PREORDER
| | '-s, )
| \ /` g/ DEUS EX: GAY SHIT
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\ \_| \__ o
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%
' '
' /\ ' I THOUGHT I WANTED TO GET IN ON GROUPONS
( ")
()
.-||-.
/ || \
||
cjr || UNTIL I REALIZED THE FIRST SYLLABLE IS
/ \ PRONOUNCED WITH AN OO AND NOT AN OH
(/ \)
%
__,--'\ THE ONLY TERM WORSE THAN "BLOGGER":
__,--' :. \.
_,--' \`. "GUEST BLOGGER"
/|\ ` \ `.
/ | \ `: \ `/
/ '| \ `:. \
/ , | \ \
/ |: \ `:. \
/| ' | \ :. _,-'`.
\' |, / \ ` \ `:. _,-'_| `/
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jrei `--|_,`'
`/
%
(`,---.') (\
(w,_,w) ))
-=>_Y_<=- _,;' MY CAT HAD A SPAZ ATTACK AND RAN FACE-FIRST
/`"'\.-'.' INTO MY LEG JUST AS I WAS WATCHING TOWARD HIM
.' `<'
| ; ; |
|`, , | I REPEAT HE RAN INTO MY LEG I DIDN'T KICK HIM
\ ;`; / pb
||,||
/|| ||\ EINSTEIN SAYS IT'S ALL RELATIVE AND IT DOESN'T
(,|( )|,) MATTER WHO WAS MOVING BUT THE LAW SAYS IT DOES
(,,Y,,)
%
,..,
.-//||\\-.
/ , , \ I LIKE USING STRANGE WORDS WITH STRONG EMPHASIS
/ ; ; \ TO SUBSTITUTE AS PROFANITY JUST TO CONFUSE PEOPLE
/, /| |\ .\
\` \| |/ `/ TRY THIS ONE:
\ \ / /
jgs \_/||||||\_/ APPOMATTOX
`"===="`
AS IN "APPO*MAT*TOX THAT FUCKING HURT"

%
,
_cc,
'.())(((c
(((((()(c THIS WOMAN LOOKS LIKE SHE'S
'(((('_ _' ABOUT TAKE A VAGINA-SHIT
`((( \
(`\ -
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%
\ /
\ / I BEAT OFF IN MALAYSIA AND
.--.().--. THEN IT TURNS INTO HURRICANE IRENE
{\_o( )o_/}
{/_/\/\_\} WAIT I WAS SUPPOSED TO SAY FLAP MY WINGS
\/ \/ NOT BEAT OFF
Dana ,/ \,
(/ \) WELL FUCK THIS SCRIPT I'M AD-LIBBING
%
RAJIT HAD A SUDDEN REALIZATION ABOUT HIS POOR
___ CHOICE OF PROEFSSION
,'._,`.
(-.___.-) UNFORTUNATELY HE HAD THIS EPIPHANY ABOUT TEN
(-.___.-) SECONDS BEFORE IT BECAME COMPLETELY ACADEMIC
`-.___.-'
(( @ @| . __
\ ` | ,\ |`. @| | | _.-._
__`.`=-=mm===mm:: | | |`. | | | ,'=` '=`.
( `-'|:/ /:/ `/ @| | | |, @| @| /---)W(---\
\ \ / / / / @| | ' (----| |----) ,~
|\ \ / /| / / @| \---| |---/ |
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`. `, ^"" `:--...___...--;'
`.,' hh `-._______.-'
%
""\/ \/""
"\__/" A STAG PARTY YOU SAY ?!!?!?!?
(oo)
-. ______-LJ WELL OF COURSE I'D LOVE TO ATTEND
,' |
|.____.. / SAY WHAT REPEAT THAT LAST PART ABOUT WHAT IT IS AGAIN
\\ /A\
|A |// vir.
%
.-*"""*.
/ \ I'M BIG AND STRONG FROM GOING TO THE GYM
: .--. .-:
| / _."._| AND ALSO LIKE TAKING OFF MY CLOTHES IN
|_: 'o /o: FRONT OF A STRANGE LOCKER ROOM WITH STRANGERS
:P \ |
`-| `. _' ;
|`. `- /
[bug] ; |`-._/
_/ `. :
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.' ``- ' `-.`.
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: \ :_.-' .' :`. L_.-' _.-'
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: .'.-'`-- : -' : `.-'
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" | \ |
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%
__
|::|
|::|
_..---.._ |::| I USE A SNORKEL !!!!!
.' / \ `. |::| HERP DERP I'M A PEDO
/ / \ \ |::|
/ / \ \ | |
/ | | \ | |
| | ___ | | | |
_`'..._-.|____|__|\\/|__|____|..| | ___
____... | .- - - - - - - -. | .| |_ `'
____. /.-----------------.\ .| | ```..
``.. //' `-._ _.-` '\\ | | ..
...-' ||' /.-.\ /.-.\ '|| `..\...`'`
---._` \\:_ \(o)/...\(o)/._:// .----..---
LGB ___.._ __.... ._....._.....___
'' ___.._ __.... ._....._.....___
%
_______
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| / ,/######\_ \ `\ \.
| / ,/ \. \. \ \
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| / #### ##### \ \ \. |
| _' " " | \ \. |
'- /===\ | \/===\ | \ \_|
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/ ( / | | /
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/ /_____\ | | ,-
( ########### ## i,/
##### (=___=) ### ####-.-'
##### ### ###### #####
############################## NO / COMMENT
############################
#########################
############### S@yaN
##############
%
_/_\
|==( /O/ /()\/""""""\
| ||O/ (()()) | THIS IS EITHER A LADY ON A SURGERY TABLE
| \/ \()/ _,dH-'
| _,dHP=' OR IT'S SOME FUCKED UP TURBINE-DRIVEN AIRPLANE
| PBHHHHHHHHHHHP='
/|\ | |
| || |
O pb O
%
|\___/|
/ \ LOOK IT'S DICK CHENEY !!!!!!!!11!1111
| /\__/|
||\ <.><.> BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHHAHAHAHAH
| _ > )
\ /----
| -\/ GET IT
/ \
%
.-----------. .------------.
:`.__________` :`.____________` .-----.._
'.'_.------._.' `.|__.-------..' |`-..___.'|
| ||__..| | |-._ __ | | |.... || |-._`--..__ |.'---.
.::/ / | | | | ___ `-| | | _ || | | | | | | \ `.
_.-.` -`.|_| `.|.' /`. `. '.|_\ `|.' | | | | || `. `.
'. `. `- _ _ | `.__` _ _ `.|.' | ||`. \ \
| `. __`. _ _ `. | | `-- _ _ '.|| \ `.____.
/`. | | .'`---...____ `'---' _ _ _ | | `.|_..-'
| /`|__.' |`---...___ . | `-- ______________________`.|_| | ` |
| | | '| `---...____|.' _ |`._-_______-______-_____`. | | |
.| | | | _ | | | | | '| `- '.| ' ' ' ' ' ' ' ' ' || | |
' `| | | / | | |'| | _ |'.__.-------.__.-----.__.'| | .- |\
| | |' | | | | | | | `-- _ | |..| | |''| -| |::| `.|_..-' |
\ `|_.' _ | | |_| '. | .`-._ | | | - | | | _ | | | `-- .'
'. | | | | | | |`. `. _ | | | _ | | | | | | _ `.
'-. _ '._|.' | | | | `.__`. | | | __ | | |__ | | | `-- _ |
`''''. _ `-.|.' '. | | `|__| ___ `.|__| _ `.|__| /
LGB : _ _ `.|_.-' `- _ _ .'
`-._______.::.__ `- _ _ ___.:::.__.-'
`----.....__..------------`
WE LIVE A ***SEDIMENTARY*** LIFESTYLE !!!1111111111111
GET IT !?!/!/!??1/1/!??1/1/1/ GURK STUFFED IN A TOILET

%
,`.
,'` | _.-.
,` | ,',' /
: | ,',' ; I START EVERY ONE OF MY YOUTUBE VIDEOS
\ : / / / WITH A THREE MINUTE TUTORIAL ON HOW TO
\ `.' ( ,' SUBSCRIBE TO MY YOUTUBE CHANNEL
,'' _ `.
,' (o_) `\ EVEN THOUGH IT'S A FUCKING STANDARD AND
. (,.) _.-- : OBVIOUS FEATURE AND *I'M POSTING A
-..`/( .-'_..- `| FUCKING VIDEO ACTUALLY ON YOUTUBE* AND
.-'\,`. `-._ ; *YOU'RE ALREADY WATCHING IT*
`._ /__
,':)-.._ _.(:::`.
|'\ / /`:::|
,' \ : : : `:|
/ : | | | \
: | | : :..---.:
| | ; ,`._`-.|_ `.
| |' ,'._ `. `. |_\
| : /`-. `. `. `. :
: \ : __ `. `. `. \ ;
\ \ |. / `. \ \ /
|\ `..: `. __ \ \ /
' ` .:::::\ `. / \ \,'
.::::::::::-..'_..-' SSt
%
___.-----------.___
_.-' `-.
.' `.
/ \
/ ` ._ . `
.' ) ` `------' `--- | HI JUST A REMINDER
| | `._ `-----.. |
| ` `- ____.----' ' `. '| I'M STILL DEAD
| . .' `--'|
|` `-. `._/ .|--'|
| ` -. / .=====._ .===| _.|
| ` | ' " <(@)> , (/(@)>| /
\ ` \ ' | |_/
\ ` <%> | |
\ | | . . . | |
`._ | ..' `.__.' /
`-| \ ``--------- /
/| `. `..___..' /
/ `- `-_ `---' /
_. `-. `-._ .'
_.' `-. `----'_
__.' `-._ .'|
__.-' `-.' |
@ `.
| `-.
| `-._
| `-._
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| VK
%
+ . _ .-.
3==({)_ . ( \
+ . _ )`\-| * ) \
. /_`' // |\ .-' `-a:f
. B'/`-'M\_| ) / .
. * // ( / .
B' `-'
ALL THESE WORLDS ARE YOURS
EXCEPT EUROPA
ATTEMPT NO LANDING THERE
ON SECOND THOUGHT THE EUROPEAN UNDERSEA LIFE

IS KIND OF A BUNCH OF DICKS
SO GO AHEAD AND LAND THERE AND DO WHATEVER YOU WANT WITH THEM
FUCK THEM THEY WON'T PLAY PARCHEESI WITH US

%
_,. ___. .
____ ,._ --=:_ *: ======((|_L]_ \\
c:____]((=- :* _:=- - - - - `' (__(____) \\
/ // ___ `' ,._ \\___.
/ // _/_/_]=== :* _:=-- ,. ___. _((|_L]_
_/ //_.(_(_)(_).. `' --=: *: ======((|_L]_ _/(__(\_ _)\_
/____\_\ `.... `' (__(____) cjr
WAIT WAIT BEFORE WE START LET'S ENGAGE IN A MELIAN DIALOGUE
(I SAID THAT BECAUSE I HEARD SOMEONE SAY IT IN THIS CONTEXT

AND IT SOUNDS SMART)
HOLD ON
(LOOKING UP WHAT THE TERM MEANS)
OH FFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUU
%
.;. GERMANS REQUIRE COMPLEX HAND SIGNALS
______// \\ EVEN TO MAKE A GIN AND TONIC
| //|
;`. |----//-| ,,==------- `------.
_,' ; | // | ``---------.
____ ,' ;---------. | /_ | ; /,-
' ,----.---' |/_ ,`_ | ('.;-'
;----: |` /_ /\|
----. `----'--. | \ _\/| PROBABLY BECAUSE OF THE HOLOCAUST
`-------------' '-------'PhS
%
$$ $
\O/$
$ | TAKING FINANCIAL ADVICE FROM ME IS LIKE
/_\ STICKING YOUR DICK INTO A LIGHT SOCKET
_|___|_
_|___|___|_
_|___|___|___|_ IT SOUNDS LIKE A GOOD IDEA AT FIRST
_|___|___|___|___|_ BUT IT ALWAYS TURNS OUT BADLY
_|___|___|___|___|___|_
_|___|___|___|___|___|___|_
|___|___|___|___|___|___|___|
\o/ \o/ \o/ \o/ \o/ \o/ \o/
| | | | | | |
/ \ / \ / \ / \ / \ / \ / \
hjm
%
+-'~`---------------------------------/\--
||"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""" \\\\\\ \/~)
|| \\\\\\ \/_
|~~~~~~~~-________________-_________________\ ~--_
!---------|_________ ------~~~~~(-- )--~~
\ /~~~~\~~\ )--- \_ /(
|| | | \ () \\
\\____/_ / ()\ \\
`~~~~~~~~~-. \ \\
\ \ <($)> \\
TURN YOUR IPAD INTO A GENUINE \ \ \\
PADD FROM STAR TREK, COMPLETE \ \ \\
WITH TONS OF DATA ABOUT THE SHOW \ \ \\
\ \ () \|
THEN MAKE YOURSELF A NICE LAST _\_\__====~~~
MEAL, TAKE A NICE HOT BATH WITH
LOTS OF BUBBLES AND SCENTED CANDLES,
AND THEN SLICE THE FUCKING VEINS OPEN IN YOUR WRIST AND TAKE YOUR OWN LIFE
(CUT DOWN NOT ACROSS)

%
,.
|`:.
| `:. I KEEP SAYING STUPID, ANNOYING SHIT
m1a | |`.`:;@. TO THESE DUMB CAMWHORES BUT THESE
| |;.`.`;| GIRLS HAVEN'T TIPPED ME EVEN ONCE
; `.';| ||
,(`;.`.| ||
/8o (`:. ||
/o8888o `; ||
/@o8888888o (`;|
(`.()oO888888o (<
`.`.;:oO08c{)/ |
`.`.(),0 / /
`.`.`/ /
`.( /
%
_ ,--() THIS IS OBAMANOMICS
( )-'-.------|>
" `--[] (I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT THIS IS SUPPOSED TO MEAN)
hjm
%
_"_ %
(< ? THE SUBTTILE FOR DEUS EX: HUMAN REVOLUTION
` "
__||___ SHOULD REALLY BE "WALKING INTO THE RED LIGHT
|\___//_\ DISTRICT AND THEN COLDCOCKING HOOKERS"
(' | ') \\
__|\ , / |/
/: / \ ::
\| ######o /|
######## \)
########
\ : /
\: /
--
%%%
%%
% (CINEMATIC VIDEOCAP FOLLOWS)
/:\
|/|, b'ger
%
. .
+ : .
: _
. ! ' (_)
,|.' FORGET CYBERARTS
- -- ---(-O-`--- -- -
,`|'`. NOW I CALL IT THE DIGIVERSE
, ! .
: : "
. --+--
.: . !
O!o
%
__
/,- I BEAT OFF AND MY EARS ARE RINGING
||)
\\_, ) OKAY RINGING STOPPED BUT WHAM SEVERE DEPRESSION AGAIN
`--'
ejm
%
___ ____ ________
,"_ ,`==='`.'__....__`--.
,',' | ,o@@@@@@@@@@o. \
, /___| d@/@@@@@@@@@@@@b \ HOLY GOD CHOKING EVERY SHAKYCAM-USING
|| "| d@/@@@@@@@@@@@@@@b| MOTHERFUCKER ON EARTH TO DEATH
|| ()|| ,@/@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@:
|| , || @@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@
||(|)|| '@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@//D
|| ' || '@@@@@@@@@@@@@@/@P
|| , || `@@@@@@@@@@@@/@'|
||(|)|| CCD `@@@@@@@@@@' |
|| ' | '----------'"""""_, |
|| , |`. S O N Y | |
:|(|)| | | |
`| '| ::............:: ,
|\__| ::::::::::::::::----" (YES MY WORK IS CUT OUT FOR ME)
: '::::::::::::::'
\ ; Bob_R
`---------------"
%
___ __ _
.' ( ,, O |_)
,-.( \ |`_`-'.__ |_(._[__]
jg _)/`.__)`--)\`--)\ __________ | |b| |
YOU KNOW WHAT THE DEFINITION OF INSANITY IS ?!?!?!?!?
MAKING STUPID ANALOGIES INVOLVING EXPECTATIONS ABOUT THINGS

%
-------------------------
~~~~~~~~~~~~__~~~~~~~~~~~
~~~~~~~~~.` `.~~~~~~~~~
~~~~~~~~.` .=`. \~~~~~~~~ HURRAY WITH THIS SIMPLE GARMENT
~~~~~~~/ / - /~~~~~~~~ I CAN GET FREE CARS AND APARTMENTS
~~~~~~/ | ^ ( \~~~~~~~~ AND BOOB JOBS
~~~~.^ /\ ._/ )~~~~~~~
~~~/ ( `-` (~~~~~~~~
~~~`-~~-` (_.-'`.~~~~~~~
~~~/ . _ (`\~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~/ / .~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~| . ,~~~~~~~~~
~~~~~~~~| , .~~~~~~~~~~
~~~~~~~~| . ,~~~~~~~~~~
~~~~~~~~| | :~~~~~~~~~~~
-------------------------
%
_
(_)
|
| I SMELL LIKE FARTS
(#)
_ .-' \_`-. _
(_)' (_) `(_)
Ojo'98
%
,===_
__\\\___
//--------\\, CHILDREN'S OPERA: TOTALLY NOT SHITTY
|/ _ _ \\,
/|| '_` '_` \| NORWEGIAN CHILDREN'S OPERA: SERIOUSLY SERIOUSLY LISTEN
/|/ @ @ ||| IT'S TOTALLY TOTALLY NOT FUCKING AWFULLY SHITTY
;_///| o |\\_,
' \ _ { _ |
\ `===' /
`-_____;'
_____|=__|____
/mcr \
%
_
.-' '-.
/ \
|,-,-,-,-,|
___ |
_)_(_ | MARY POPPINS SAID THE BIG BANG NEVER HAPPENED
(/ \) |
_\_/_ /)
/ \_/ \//
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|_|___|
\|/
jgs _/L\_
%
_..._
,--. /.---.\
.---/____\|--. `
( '----' )
`-..........-' THERE IS ONLY ONE MUSKETEER LEFT
__|`--(__
/'~~~/\~~'\ THE OTHER TWO WERE INVOLVED IN
/ _/| ) \ A HORRIBLE THRESHER ACCIDENT
/ /\ \
_/ | | \
_/ / \ \
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L/(_, / / , `\ )
/ / ( / | \ ) /
/( ( )_._._._( |
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/ \|- | | -| |(
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%
____ *
/ _) `\ '. i _
/^/^( ) s
( \=_ ) / a c ,
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/ / ~ \ /-_/ i
( (. ( . / /(
/\__\ ( \_/ WHOEVER DREW THIS IS A FREAKISH ASPIE FUCK
\ | ) ` \
\| / \_______
_(_/( \/ `)
// \ \.____/__/_
\ | ________ |
/\ || ||
| )` )| b'ger ||
|/ / | ||
\| / |________||
)/|____--_____o|
,'/___/__|____\__
/ /| | == : |
------\/-|___|__________|------
%
__ __
.' `'._.'` '. I AM A PRETZEL:
| .--; ;--. |
| ( / \ ) |
\ ;` /^\ `; /
:` .'._.'. `; I TASTE LIKE THIS
jgs '-`'.___.'`-'
%
: :
__ | | _,_
( ~~^-l_____],.-~ /
\ ")\ "^k. (_,-"
`>._ ' _ `\ \
_.-~/'^k. (0) ` (0 WHAT ARE YOU SOME KIND
.-~ { ~` ~ ..T OF CREEPY VOYEUR ?????
/ . "-.. _.-'
/ Y . "T I'M TRYING TO BEAT OFF HERE
Y l ~-./l_
| \ . .<'
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===( INK )==========\\|//==================== SIGNED, ME
__ejm\___/________dwb`---`____________________________________________
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/--' '-._.' '-._./
/__.--._.--._.'``-.__/ I SAY "FULL DISCLOSURE" AN AWFUL LOT
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| | A LITTLE BECAUSE I'M FRUSTRATED WITH MY LACK OF
| 0 | OPTIONS IN LIFE AND SORT OF GENERALIZED ANXIETY
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THIS IS A BOOM BOX
LIKE SONY WALKMEN, DISCMEN, CDS, AND NETFLIX
NOBODY KNOWS WHAT THIS FUCKING THING IS ANYMORE

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| %%%%%|
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%
___---___
.-- --.
./ () .-. \.
/ o . ( ) \ YOU EARTH PEOPLE WALKED ON ME, THE MOON
/ . '-' \
| () . O . |
| | NOW I'M GOING TO FUCKING WALK ON YOU
| o () |
| .--. O |
| . | | | HURRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR
\ `.__.' o . / NEVER MIND MY MOON LEGS ARE TIRED
\ /
`\ o () /' jgs
`--___ ___--'
---
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bug : : /\ :
LARRY CURLY MOE SHEP'S DICK

%
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\ /
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______________
|.------------.|
|| ||
|| || THERE WERE ALMOST NO GOOD GAMES FOR ME
|| ||
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||____________||_
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:: .:::. , , .:. .:::. .:
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`:::::::' `::::::' `::::..`::: `::.::' `::.::' `:: MJ
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I'M THE LADY IN THE LAKE

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~~\_/~~ MERRY CHRISTMAS
{+} EVERYBODY
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jgs {}{}{}{}{}{/O\}{}{}{}{}{}
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%
cc
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cc | cc
-=Occ | ; USING OKCUPID IS LIKE PUTTING A GUN IN YOUR MOUTH
cc\ |/ cc AND BEING TOO CHICKENSHIT TO PULL THE TRIGGER
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: _ I JUST EMPITED OUT THE VACUUM CLEANER BAG
. ! ' (_) AND NEARLY WIPED OUT OUR TIMELINE
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.' / '.
/ _/ \ GIRLS WEAR SKIRTS TO HIDE THEIR SHAME
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/|Zz,
/_|\ THIS IS A SAILBOAT FLEEING FROM
` \ | /__|_\ SOME SORT OF GIANT SEA ANEMONE
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/\ I SHOT THE SHERIFF
()--' '--()
`. .' AND I TOTALLY FUCKING SHOT THAT ASSHOLE DEPUTY, TOO
/ .. \
jgs ()' '()
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"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""" """"""""""""""""""""""""""""""
WALK INTO THIS ARCHWAY AND

EXPERIENCE DONGVILLE YOURSELF
%
EeeiiiiiEEiiiii.....
\|/
n______ .....iiiiiEEiiiieeEE
:~; : \|/
-----;``~' + ;------------ ______n --------------------------------
`-@-----@-= : :~:
=========================== ; + '~``; =============================
=-@-----@-'
jgs------------------------------------------------------------------
TWO AMBULANCES WITH THEIR SIRENS WAILING WALK INTO A BAR

%
__ __
/ '. .' \
| |`\ \ / /`| |
\.--' '-' '--./ I'M CONCERED THAT THE PLOT OF "THE MUPPETS"
.' .-'"'"'-. '. SEQUEL/REBOOT ISN'T GOING TO STAND UP
/ .-(((( ))))-. \ TO HIGHTENED SCRUTINY
.' / =/_o/___\o_\= \ '.
.' / .-' '-. \ '.
/ / / \ \ \
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____^/\___^--____/\____O______________/\/\---/\___________---______________
/\^ ^ ^ ^ ^^ ^ '\ ^ ^ ---
-- - -- - - --- __ ^ RS
-- __ ___-- ^ ^ -- __
DO I LOOK FAT SHEATHED COMFORTABLE IN THIS PLANETARY CORE

%
!
|
| |~/
| _|~
.============.| (_| |~/
.-;____________;|. _|~
| [_________I__] | (_|
| """"" (_) (_) |
| .=====..=====. | MAN I STILL WISH I WERE AN AUTISTIC ASPERGER
| |:::::||:::::| | FAGGOT BECAUSE JUST BEING NORMAL I GET THIS
jgs | '=====''=====' | HURTFUL WORD "NEUROTYPICAL" HURLED AT ME
'----------------' AND THAT REALLY HURTS MY FEELINGS
(GET IT BECAUSE ASPIES ARE NOT HUMAN AND

THEREFORE DON'T HAVE FEELINGS)
%
/\ I SURE HOPE THAT THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA
/\/\ HAS A SUPPLY OF STRATEGIC PORN RESERVES AVAILABLE
_|/\|_ (CLASSIFIED I'M SURE) BECAUSE HOLY GOD IF WE RUN
|______| OUT OF EASTERN EUROPEANS AND ASIANS TO DO
|\/\/| PORN WE'RE GOING TO HAVE A NATIONAL
\|/\/\| .''`/: CRISIS ON OUR HANDS
:\''. \`'. | || / :
: \ || |\ ||| || / o
j _\||__/__\||_\_||/___
|___________________|
| | | | | |
~~~~~~|~~|~~~|~~~|~~~|~~|~~~~~~tre
%
_________________________________
|| | | | | | | | | | ||
|| | | | | | | | | | ||
|| | | | |__|__| | | | || THIS IS A THING THAT MAKES THINGY
|| | |__|--' '--|__| | || NOISES WHOEVER MADE THIS THING
|| |__| |__| || PROBABLY ALSO MAKES OTHER THINGS
||__| |__||
(_) (_)
KCK
%
,='~'z_
/ .' `\
( / )
/ /`--.._ )
( )=- =) |
) \ . (_/
( \`=' /~
WHATEVER DO YOU MEAN??? ,--._)_/^`- ~\.__
/ ``-.
/ .
/) , / , . . :
/ / / ' ,' _ Y :
/ _Y-' ,._;\(*) | |
/ ,-' .-.` \_ /| |
: ,`- `=.._ ~'-=. (
| ,' | `-. ` |
LOOK LADY, \__.' | `._ /
TODAY IS CYBER MONDAY, | |`'--'
IS IT NOT? | \ AND NO, YOU HAVE NOT
/ ) \ RESOLVED MY "ISSUE"
/ \
GET TO THE SUCKING AND J L
FUCKING OR I WILL CLOSE THIS [ . ,- | THANKS FOR NOTHING,
CHAT WINDOW RIGHT NOW [ \_L/ | SUJATHA
[ /( |
| / | F
| / | / cjr
%
,- _,-'""`-._
\ / ,'dHHb |/ `-.
_,-'|"`-. `- / / HHHH---<_____`.
,-' ""\ `. -'_ \ `HHP /\ ,'
,' \| dHHb \ '.`./ \ __ \,-'
`.""""\___HHHH / \ `-.__|,-' UGH I FEEL SICK
`-. / /HHP,' / \
`-._/_,-' \/\/\| MAYBE I SHOULDN'T HAVE CHUGGED DOWN
THOSE FIVE JARS OF MARMALADE AT 2 AM
,-'"""-"""`-. JUST BEFORE BED AND FINISHED IT OFF
\""\""""""\"/ WITH A WHOLE BOTTLE OF TOBASCO SAUCE
`--\ \\ \
\ \\ \ Krogg
`-.__.'
%
_____
/ '`-._
| -. \ NO I DO NOT CARE ABOUT THOSE
_.,--. '----- | / CRAPPY MARS ROVERS AND THEN ONE
,-'' `. / ,' HAS BEEN PUT DOWN LIKE OLD YELLER
/' _--\ | ___ | /
| ' | |,.''' ''--:_ GET THIS THROUGH YOUR HEAD, NASA:
| ,' \ | ,--.. `.
\____/ /' _( '. '\ NOBODY GIVES A SHIT ABOUT YOUR
/ /' '-. . ____ GODDAMN SPACE SHIT NASA
| | \ O,-' '\
| `\ , | NOT EVEN ME AND I WAS THE LAST
\ | \. O / _/ FUCKING ONE IN THE COUNTRY
__\,.\ `-'''\__,. -' |
| _,.-=. ,/
VJ `.____,' \ _,-' (NOTE: THE ACCOMPANYING ASCII ART
'--------' IS NOT RELATED BUT WHO'D NOTICE ANYWAY)
%
.-'''''-.
|'-----'| GO FIGURE: TWO TASTES
/`-.....-`\ THAT YOU'D NEVER THINK
| <_} | WOULD GO TOGETHER ......
| .-\-. | ........................
_,._ | /# ` \ | ........................
__.-` `"""-. | \ / | .... OFTEN FUCKING DON'T
..--' `"-. `)_,._ \ '-'-' /
(` )--.-"``` `"-.`'-----'`
'-----------' ( ) THANKS "FUSION" CUISINE
jgs `-------------` A.K.A. BULLSHIT
%
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| / \ |------| { / /~) __- ',|_\,
/ | |~~~~~~~~| \ \ | | '~\ |_____,|~,-'
|~~--__ | | |____ |~~~~~|--| |__ /_-' {,~
| | ~~~|~~| | ~~\ / `-' |`~ |~_____{/
| | | '---------, \----| | | ,' ~/~\,|`
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'-,_ | _____| | / | ,-'---~\
`~'~ \ | `--,~~~~-~~, \
\/~\ /~~~`---` | \
\ / \ |
\ | '\'
`~' JB
DO YOU THINK AMERICA WILL EVER BE AS GAY AS IT ONCE WAS
I MEAN GREAT
FUCK OH GOD OH GOD
AS *GREAT* AS IT ONCE WAS NOT THAT OTHER WORD
FUCKING CHRIST NOW I'M NEVER GOING TO HEAR THE END OF IT

%
_,.-'"\
_,.-'" ' \
_,.-'" ' \ ONE DAY I WILL HOLD PUBLIC OFFICE
_,.-'" ' \ AND MAKE A DIFFERENCE !!!!!
('-._ ' \
\ '-._ _-'"''-,' \
\ '-._-' ', \
\ '-._ \ \
sjw \ '-._ \ \ BUT FOR NOW
\ '-._ | \
\ '-:_ \ I'M SOME SORT OF TRIANGLE THING
'-._ '-._ \ WITH A SORT OF SPHERICAL TYPE
'-._ '-._) THING INSIDE IT
'-._ /
'-._ /
'-._ /
'-._ /
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%
- ,--_--.
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- "-_ _ \
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- - / / `--'
- / /
- / /
- __/ / THIS IS A UNICYCLE
/,-pJ
- _--"-L || UNICYCLES ARE RIDICULOUS
," "// AND ALSO RIDICULOUS LOOKING
- / ,-""".//\
/ / // J____
J / // L/----\
. F J //__//^---'
` ___J F '----| |
` J---| F F F
` `. ` `--J L J F
. .` L J J F
. . J \ ," F
. `.` \ "--" ," YES I'M LAZY TODAY
hs ` ``."-____-"
%
/\_/ \__/ \_/\/\_/ \__/ \_/\/\_/ \__/ \_/\/\_/ \__/ \_/\/
\/ \_/ \__/ \/\/ \_/ \__/ \/\/ \_/ \ / \/\/ \_/ \__/ \/\
/\_/ \__/ \_/\/ _ \__/ _ \/\_/ \__/ \_/\/\_/ \__/ \_/\/
\/ \_/ \__/ \ / \ / __/ \ \/ \_/ __ \/\/ \_/ \__/ \/\
/\_/ \__/ \_/\/\_/ \__/ \_/ /\_/ \__/ \_/\/\_/ \__ _/\/
\/ \_/ \__/ \/\/ \_ __/ /\/ \_/ \__/ \/\/ \_/ \ / \/\
/\_/ \__/ \_/\/\_/ \__/ _/\/\_/ \__/ \_/\/\_/ \__/ \_/\/
\/ \_/ \__/ \/\/ \_/ \ / \/\/ \_/ \__/ \/\/ \_/ \__/ \/\
/\_/ \__/ \_/\/\_/ \__/ \_/\/\_/ \__/ \_/\/\_/ \__/ \_/\/
\/ \_/ \__/ \/\/ \_/ \__/ \/\/ \_/ \ / \/\/ \_/ \__/ \/\
/\_/ \__/ \_/\/ _ \__/ _ \/\_/ \__/ \_/\/\_/ \__/ \_/\/
\/ \_/ \__/ \ / \ / __/ \ \/ \_/ __ \/\/ \_/ \__/ \/\
/\_/ \__/ \_/\/\_/ \__/ \_/ /\_/ \__/ \_/\/\_/ \__ _/\/
\/ \_/ \__/ \/\/ \_ __/ /\/ \_/ \__/ \/\/ \_/ \ / \/\
/\_/ \__/ \_/\/\_/ \__/ _/\/\_/ \__/ \_/\/\_/ \__/ \_/\/
\/ \_/ \__/ \/\/ \_/ \ / \/\/ \_/ \__/ \/\/ \_/ \__/ \/\
/\_/ \__/ \_/\/\_/ \__/ \_/\/\_/ \__/ \_/\/\_/ \__/ \_/\/
\/ \_/ \__/ \/\/ \_/ \__/ \/\/ \_/ \ / \/\/ \_/ \__/ \/\
/\_/ \__/ \_/\/ _ \__/ _ \/\_/ \__/ \_/\/\_/ \__/ \_/\/
\/ \_/ \__/ \ / \ / __/ \ \/ \_/ __ \/\/ \_/ \__/ \/\
/\_/ \__/ \_/\/\_/ \__/ \_/ /\_/ \__/ \_/\/\_/ \__ _/\/
\/ \_/ \__/ \/\/ \_ __/ /\/ \_/ \__/ \/\/ \_/ \ / \/\
/\_/ \__/ \_/\/\_/ \__/ _/\/\_/ \__/ \_/\/\_/ \__/ \_/\/
\/ \_/ \__/ \/\/ \_/ \ / \/\/ \_/ \__/ \/\/ \_/ \__/ \/\
Krogg
THIS IS WHAT THE SURFACE OF MY BALLS

LOOKS LIKE BEFORE I APPLY LOTION
__(/) //\\ (o\ \o) \\//___(/) //\\ (o\ \o) \\//_

//\\ (o\ \o) \\//___(/) //\\ (o\ \o) \\//___(/)
(o\ \o) \\//___(/) //\\ (o\ \o) \\//___(/) //\\
\o) \\//___(/) //\\ (o\ \o) \\//___(/) //\\ (o\
//___(/) //\\ (o\ \o) \\//___(/) //\\ (o\ \o) \\
/) //\\ (o\ \o) \\//___(/) //\\ (o\ \o) \\//___(
/\\ (o\ \o) \\//___(/) //\\ (o\ \o) \\//___(/) /
\ \o) \\//___(/) //\\ (o\ \o) \\//___(/) //\\ (o
\\//___(/) //\\ (o\ \o) \\//___(/) //\\ (o\ \o)
__(/) //\\ (o\ \o) \\//___(/) //\\ (o\ \o) \\//_
//\\ (o\ \o) \\//___(/) //\\ (o\ \o) \\//___(/)
(o\ \o) \\//___(/) //\\ (o\ \o) \\//___(/) //\\
\o) \\//___(/) //\\ (o\ \o) \\//___(/) //\\ (o\
//___(/) //\\ (o\ \o) \\//___(/) //\\ (o\ \o) \\
/) //\\ (o\ \o) \\//___(/) //\\ (o\ \o) \\//___(
/\\ (o\ \o) \\//___(/) //\\ (o\ \o) \\//___(/) /
\ \o) \\//___(/) //\\ (o\ \o) \\//___(/) //\\ (o
\\//___(/) //\\ (o\ \o) \\//___(/) //\\ (o\ \o)
__(/) //\\ (o\ \o) \\//___(/) //\\ (o\ \o) \\//_
//\\ (o\ \o) \\//___(/) //\\ (o\ \o) \\//___(/)
(o\ \o) \\//___(/) //\\ (o\ \o) \\//___(/) //\\
\o) \\//___(/) //\\ (o\ \o) \\//___(/) //\\ (o\
//___(/) //\\ (o\ \o) \\//___(/) //\\ (o\ \o) \\
/) //\\ (o\ \o) \\//___(/) //\\ (o\ \o) \\//___(
/\\ (o\ \o) \\//___(/) //\\ (o\ \o) \\//___(/) /
\ \o) \\//___(/) //\\ (o\ \o) \\//___(/) //\\ (o
\\//___(/) //\\ (o\ \o) \\//___(/) //\\ (o\ \o)
VK
THIS IS WHAT THE SURFACE OF MY BALLS

LOOKS LIKE AFTER I APPLY LOTION
%
______
<((((((\\\
/ . }\
;--..--._|} GIVE ME YOUR CLOTHES
(\ '--/\--' ) IF YOU WANT SOME PEANUTS
\\ | '-' :'|
\\ . -==- .-|
\\ \.__.' \--._
[\\ __.--| // _/'--.
\ \\ .'-._ ('-----'/ __/ \
\ \\ / __>| | '--. |
\ \\ | \ | / / /
\ '\ / \ | | _/ /
\ \ \ | | / /
snd \ \ \ /
%
____________________________________________________________________
/ \----- --------- ----------- -------------- ------ ----\
\_/__________________________________________________________________/
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|~~ / " _,-' / `\ ,' / _' \`.---.._ __ " \~ |
| ~~~ / / .-' , / ' _,'_ - _ '- _`._ `.`-._ _/- `--. " " \~|
| ~ / / _-- `---,~.-' __ -- _,---. `-._ _,-'- / ` \ \_ " |~|
| ~ | | -- _ /~/ `-_- _ _,' ' \ \_`-._,-' / -- \ - \_ / |
|~~ | \ - /~~| " ,-'_ /- `_ ._`._`-...._____...._,--' /~~|
| ~~\ \_ / /~~/ ___ `--- --- - - ' ,--. ___ |~ ~|
|~ \ ,'~~| " (o o) " " " |~~~ \_,-' ~ `. ,'~~ |
| ~~ ~|__,-'~~~~~\ \"/ " " " /~ ~~ O ~ ~~`-.__/~ ~~~|
|~~~ ~~~ ~~~~~~~~`.______________________/ ~~~ | ~~~ ~~ ~ ~~~~|
|____~jrei~__~_______~~_~____~~_____~~___~_~~___~\_|_/ ~_____~___~__|
/ \----- ----- ------------ ------- ----- ------- -------- -------\
\_/__________________________________________________________________/
THIS IS A TREASURE MAP TO FIND A PILE OF FOSSILIZED SHIT
ONCE IT WAS STEAMY BUT NOW IT IS ROCK-LIKE
JUST THINK !!!! OF THE DETAILS OF THE ALIMENTARY CANAL

THAT THIS SHIT COILED THROUGH BEFORE BEING EXCRETED INTO
A HOLE AND THEN BURIED AND THEN MARKED WITH A BIG "X"
%
__
.' '.
: :
| _ _ |
.-.|(o)(o)|.-. _._ _._
( ( | .--. | ) ) .',_ '. .' _,'.
'-/ ( ) \-' / /' `\ \ __ / /' `\ \
/ '--' \ /.' \.' './ '.\
\ `"===="` / ` : _ _ : `
`\ /' |(o)(o)|
`\ /' | |
/`-.-`\_ / \
_.-"`\._/V\_./`"-._ / .--. \
.'/ \ /^\ / \'. | ( ) |
/ / \| |/ \ \ _\ '--' /__
jgs / / \_/ \ \ .' '-.__.-' `-.
WHEN IS THIS GODDAMN SHOW ON ???? EASTERN TIME OR PACIFIC ????
GODDAMN STUPID EARTH ROTATING ONCE A DAY AROUND ITS STUPID FUCKING
FAT MOLTEN CORE MAKING ALL THIS BULLSHIT TIME ZONE NONSENSE REQUIRED
FUCK IT LET'S MOVE INTO SPACE AND LIVE IN ETERNAL SUNLIGHT

%
.
_\____
|_===__`. ==/ I'M A YACHT
\/ '---"\ _ _ _ _/
______/_______/_|_|_|_|_| EITHER THAT OR SOME KIND OF DEFORMED WHALE
_|---------------------==.`
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~LGB
%
\ / /V\ r _ / \
\O/ \O/ /O/ \O/
# # # # I LIKE TO STAY AT THE
/ \ / \ / \ / \ GAYYYYYYYYY JIZZ-FILLED GYM
^ ^^ ^^ ^ ^ ^
%
____
_.' : `._
.-.'`. ; .'`.-.
__ / : ___\ ; /___ ; \ __
,'_ ""--.:__;".-.";: :".-.":__;.--"" _`,
:' `.t""--.. '<@.`;_ ',@>` ..--""j.' `;
`:-.._J '-.-'L__ `-- ' L_..-;'
"-.__ ; .-" "-. : __.-" HEY REMEMBER THAT SCENE IN
L ' /.------.\ ' J EPISODE TWO WHEN I DID THE
"-. "--" .-" LIGHT SABER DUEL WITH COUNT
__.l"-:_JL_;-";.__ WHOEVER-THE-FUCK !?!?!?!?!?
.-j/'.; ;"""" / .'\"-.
.' /:`. "-.: .-" .'; `. YEAH EVEN I'M EMBARRASSED BY
.-" / ; "-. "-..-" .-" : "-. HOW FUCKING SHITTY THAT WAS
.+"-. : : "-.__.-" ;-._ \
; \ `.; ; : : "+. ;
: ; ; ; : ; : \:
; : ; : ;: ; :
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%
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( ; ; ; ; |.---.| ONE TIME I VOMITED UP A WHOLE YAK
) ( ( ; \ o o)
| ) ; | ) ) /'.__/ GET IT
) ; ) ; | ; //
( ) _,\ ; //
; ( ,_,,-~""~`"" \ ( //
\_.'\\_ '. /<_
\\_)--\ \ \--\
jgs )--\""` )--\"`
`""` `""`
%
/-----| WELCOME TO THE RAPE CHAIR
\-' |
Q | I MEAN MY DENTIST'S OFFICE SORRY
)C ~\/\ |
\\_ \ | FREUDIAN SLIP, JUST IGNORE THAT
\_77 |\ |
ejm 96 |`` \ \ | JUST BREATHE IN THIS LAUGHING GAS DEEPLY
""" ~ ~ ===
%
|/|
|/|
|/|
|/|
|/|
|/| _
|/| / )
|/|/\/
|/|\/
(___)
(___)
(___)
(___)
(__ )
/ /\
/ ,^./\
/ / \/\
/ / \/\
( ( )/)
| | |/|
| | |/| <------ GALLOWS HUMOR
| | |/|
( ( )/)
\ \ / /
\ `---' /
`-----' PhS
%
.....................
/ : | : \
'''''':''''':''''':''''''
`. . : . .'
`. . : . .' LIKE THE COMMERCIALS SAY
`. . : . .'
`. . : . .' BUY YOUR WOMAN A DIAMOND,
`..:..'
jgs `:' AND SHE'LL FINALLY SHUT THE FUCK UP AND BLOW YOU
%
'. |
'. | ___________________ ____________
'. | | _______________ | |.----------.|
. '. | | | | | || |> ||
|'. '. | | | ___ ___ | | || O /| ||
|. '. '.____________| | | | | | | | | || /_( ||
|||.| | | | | | | | | | | || .___|__ ||
||||| | | | | | | | | | | ||~~\____|~~||
||||| | | | | | | | | | | || ~ ~ ~||
||||| | | | | | | | | | | |:__________:|
||||| | * | | | | | | | | | '------------'
||||| | *..' | | | '---___---'__| |
| '| | _:_ | | | |_____| |__= |
|. () | ( ) | | | ___ ___ ()| |
||||| | ) ( | | | | | | | | |
||||| | ===========| | | | | | | | |
||||| | | | | | | | | | | | | |
||||| | | | | | | | | | | | | |
||||| _|___|_|____|_| | | | | | | | |
|||:|--"" |___|_|____|_| | | '---' '---' | |
"| _|..--"' ' ' |______| | | |___________________grp___
-'"' |______|_|_______________|_|_________________________
THIS IS MY HALLWAY
PLEASE NOTE THE SHITTY PICTURE

OF THE SHITTY SAILBOAT
WHICH I DON'T OWN
TAKEN IN A PLACE I'VE NEVER BEEN
ALSO THAT PLANT IS LONG DEAD

%
,______
_./ \_
/' -=X=- \
/ <_>___\___/---_H_
Z---| |------- --/_O_)
__ |__ L___^|^^^^^\--\__/
/ \\ __T__ |___
/ __|__ \\__^ _| \_ THIS IS A HOWITZER
S-v|- __^\ _|__| _/ _ __\
----| O ))==|___ _|==-) || WHICH IS NAMED AFTER THE EARL OF HOWITZER
\ _// \__// WHO FIRST PUT MEAT BETWEEN TWO PIECES OF BREAD
AND CREATED A WHOLE NEW WAY TO SLAUGHTER PEOPLE
%
_____
_.::::::::::::-.
_.-:::::='=::=. _ `.
_.-'.:' ""(@)`"- `-----....__
_.-'-'.:::.... `' -----------__:=
.-'-''.::::::::::._ . .'""""""""""
_.-::::::::::::::') `-- - :
.-:::::::::::::' / ._.' ) \
.-::::::::::::' _ .' .__.:' : \
.::::::::::' -=' _.'--. . ..'
.:::::::' _.-' ) :-'.' WHAT'S A HERON
.::::' ___..=='' .- : . .'
.::'" _. _.- _.- ' .-'
:' __.' _=-' _.' __' :/
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\\__...__.--''"' \\ ("(
/_.--' pils \\_.'`.`.
.:._.' `.`.,. _
='' `:, `.`.`..-::'
`.` :"
.:.-.`.
.:' `.:
'
%
__________ __
| ___ _|__|_
| ,' '. {'\)
| : O O : )( FUCK OFF IT'S MODERN ART
| : ._\. :/ )\
| '.___\\/ / | IT'S SUPPOSED TO LOOK LIKE A CHILD DID IT
| '-' |
|_________| |
/-----\|___|
jrei / \|||
.:;;
%
_-.
( (o)
" _ |_|"
- | | BEHOLD THE INFAMOUS U-BOAT COCK
" - -" -.| |
- " -| |
" _" -.|,!)
"- `" -='
itz
%
,
__ _.-"` `'-.
/||\'._ __{}_(
|||| |'--.__\ WHY IS THIS PEACE OFFICER GIVING A NAZI SALUTE
| L.( ^_\^
\ .-' | _ |
| | )\___/
| \-'`:._]
jgs \__/; '-.
%
.-"-. FUCK CATS
/
- -\
\
@ @/ /
(_ <_) ___/
_)(`
,_(`_))\
"-\)__/
__|||__
jgs ((__|__))
%
.-"T"---___
.-" | ""--__
.-" | ""--_
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/ /`. .'.' / / ""-._ "-._ / -
/ / | / / /_ / "-._ " .'|
/ / | / / |."-_/ "-_ .' J
/ / | .'.' J `-"._ "-_ .' L
/ `-. |/ / _ / LF-._ "-._ J .' |
/ `-./ .' "-./ || "-._ "-._ | .' |
/ / /\ ' "-._ "-_ F_ .' |
J / / \ "-_ "-_ J "-_.' J
F / / / \ "-_ 7 | J
/ / / o/ / 77 J |
J J_ / / o/ ' | |
F "-._/ / / | F
J J """--' F J
| F /-._ J___________ |
F________________J "-._"-._ "--------J F
J "-_ "-_ .-"" "-._| ._ | J
| "-_ "-._ / ". .' ""-F |
F "-_ o _.-" "--._ L J .' J F
J "-_ _.-" o /F ,, \ F .' F J
| "-_ JJ || "-.___.' /.' / F
| "-._ FF FF T"--< `. J F
\ ""-.__ /J-._JJ_ /J__o `. `. F /
". ] F F ""-._ J L """"`. `. / J
". F/ / ""-.L..|.._____`. `/ F
". JJ J /""-._ / J
"-_ FF F /__ sy ""L |""""\ / /
"-_ J/ ""-L ""-.__| J| --: L/ /
"-_ U J__ J__||_____J /
"-_ JF \ ""-.__ / LL / /
""-__/ "--.__.' J /L .'
""--___ L____/ J / hs
"""---______ ___\.'
"""---""
IF YOU LEAN FORWARD AND SQUINT YOU CAN SEE THE JERGENS ON MY DESK
%
_..--=--..._
.-' '-. .-.
/.' '.\/ /
|=- -=| (
\'. .'/\ \
'-.,_____ _____.-' '-'
jgs [_____]=8
DECEMBER TWENTY-FIFTH, TWO THOUSAND ELEVEN
A DATE WHICH WILL LIVE IN INFAMY

%
____ PAST-ME BOUGHT PRESENT-ME A FROZEN PIZZA
/ \ WHICH PRESENT-ME TOTALLY FORGOT ABOUT
u u| _______
\ | .-''#%&#&%#``-. THEREFORE, FUTURE-ME WILL EAT THE
= / ((%&#&#&%&VK&%&)) AFOREMENTIONED PIZZA AND THEN IN REWARD
| `-._#%&##&%_.-' BEAT THEN-PAST- AND THEN-PRESENT-ME OFF
/\/\`--. `-."".-' (BUT IN THE FUTURE WHEN WE'RE THE SAME
| | \ /`./ PERSON SO IT'S TOTALLY NOT GAY)
|\/| \ `-' /
|| | \ / VK GODDAMMIT THIS SPACETIME SHIT IS COMPLICATED
%
________________
_/_______________/|
/___________/___//|| NOT SURE WHAT THIS IS
|=== |----| ||
| | o| ||
|___________| o| ||
| ||/.'---.|| | ||
|-||/_____\||-. | |'
|_||=L==H==||_|__|/ JF
%
,_,_,_, RUDOLPH KNOWS THAT BITCHES AIN'T NOTHIN' BUT HOES AND TRICKS
\ /
O--oo.
7,"\\_______)
( ) __( )
//""" \\
ctr // //
%
_--_
/ \
( ** )
\ /
| | ........_ ____,,,..---
| | |:::::::::"::33333::::=::::::::::|
| | ,|:::::::::":::::::::::=::::::::::|
| | |:::::::::":::::::::::=:::::::::::|'
| |'^^*|;;;;;;;;_";:::::::::;=------;;;;;/
| | ```-----'''
| |
| | I HOPE WE DON'T GET INTO A FUTURE WAR WITH
| | GERMANY NOW THAT THEY FUCKING MAKE ALL OUR GUNS
| |
| |
| |
| |
| |
| |
| |
| |
| |
| |
| |
| |
| |
| |
| |
| |
\\| |//
oooooooooooooooooo~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
%
__.------. WHAT'S THE GREATER CRIME ?????

(__ ___ )
.)e )\ / [ ] THIS THIEF'S STEALING
/_.------
_/_ _/ [ ] OR HOW SHITTY THIS DRAWING IS
__.' / ' `-.__
/ <.--' `\
/ \ \c |
/ / ) GoT x \
| /\ |c / \.- \
\__/ ) /( ( \ <>'\
/ _/ _\- `-. \/_|_ /<>
/ /--/,-\ _ \ <>.`.
\/`--\_._) - / `-/\ `.\
/ `. / ) `\
\ \ \___/----'
| / `(
___________ \ ./\_ _ \
______________ / | ) '|
__________________ | / \ \ ___________a:f
/ | |____.)
/ \ a88a\___/88888a.
\_ :)8888888888888888888a.
/` `-----' `Y88888888888888888
\____| `88888888888P'
(YES IT'S SUPPOSED TO BE A THIEF

AND HOW YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO TELL
I HAVE NO IDEA)
%
HOW MANY DICKS CAN I
STUFF IN MY FACE ?!?
_ /
,'-`. /
:_ _:
..._ \ _ / _.,,
`-.>. _,-`-'-._ ,<,-'
: \ / _ `./ ;
\ ` '_) /
\ ,| (_, |. /
`' | . | `'
:_______:
| |
| |
| . |
| | |
| | |
| | |
| | |
|___:___|
/___/___\ SSt
%
.''. HAPPY NEW YEAR
.''. *''* :_\/_: .
:_\/_: . .:.*_\/_* : /\ : .'.:.'. HERE'S TO HOPING THIS IS
.''.: /\ : _\(/_ ':'* /\ * : '..'. -=:o:=- THE LAST GODDAMN ONE
:_\/_:'.:::. /)\*''* .|.* '.\'/.'_\(/_'.':'.' WHEN I HAVE TO SEE
: /\ : ::::: '*_\/_* | | -= o =- /)\ ' * DICK CLARK ON MY FUCKING TV
'..' ':::' * /\ * |'| .'/.\'. '._____
* __*..* | | : |. |' .---"|
_* .-' '-. | | .--'| || | _| |
.-'| _.| | || '-__ | | | || |
|' | |. | || | | | | || |
___| '-' ' "" '-' '-.' '` |____
jgs~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
%
MY GRANDPA'S SODOMY BLU-RAY DISC
IS NOT A FRIEND OF FREEDOM
:+"" ~<<::""+:
+Xi<<<<!< `<<!?!<<<HMti%L
:?HMMMM:<<<!<~ <<<!X<<<!MM$$MMh?x
"X*9$$RMM!<<<?!<<~ <!<<<<MMMMM?" BA
!X*MM<<<<H!<<` <?<<<<<)!
"+:uX!<<< .::+""
%
( )
O O
() () I CAN BE EASILY TRICKED INTO IMPALING MYSELF WITH
Oo.nn.oO MY OWN TAIL STINGER SO I AM REALLY, REALLY SMART
_mmmm_
\/_mmmm_\/
\/_mmmm_\/
\/_mmmm_\/
\/ mmmm \/
nn
()
()
() /
apc ()__()
'--'
%
/`.
/ `
/ /
/ /
/ /
___ / /
.' .' / /
.' .' / / /
=====' / / /
,' ,' \ / /
.'___,' ek \ / /
|_____`^^^^^---....---------====='''--.._
' ```''''----....____. /\________,'.
/ /---____,,..~'`
/ / /
/ / / TIME TO FLY AWAY TO BALLSANIA
/ / / (A LITTLE KNOWN SUBURB OF TRANSYLVANIA)
/ /
/ /
/ /
/ /
// /
// /
// /
// /
// _/
/_,-'
%
_____
(((\\\\\
)_ \\\|
/ \\|\/ I THINK I MIGHT BE BIPOLAR
\$ ), &
$ ( (( BUT ONLY WITH THE DEPRESSIVE PART
|` \\ ))) _
| \` __| `
| , \ ` , \
| \ ,\ , \
' \/ \_ \/ \
`_,`-._ ` \
ejm / `-. _ \ `
/ ,`. \
=== / '== =`. | ====
/ | === ` / /=========
/ | / ,
/______| / , ========
__-' | = === / ,=======
' - -- (
\ \
\ `
\ `
\ `
\_____ \
/ `
_/ /
'-- '
%
________
| --- **|
\ / |()|] I'M MADE FOR BAREFOOT PEOPLE
|____| |
ejm97 _[________]________
|__________ ______ |
| ||______||
| ||______||
| ||______||
| |________|
%
A REVIEW OF THE ASCII ART SERIES "TRANSMOGRIFY":
......
.:::::` .
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:::(, o
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\ \|\ |
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~
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Krogg/JC
.:::::.
.:::::::::
:::::' ,-`.-.
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\ \
| .-._`-.
| `-.`.
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| `-._ `
| `-._
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Krogg/JC
%
_________________
._) (_.
| 'F ,-. 'C |
| | |___ 40 |
| 100 ---| | | THE HISTORY OF THE FAHRENHEIT SCALE
| | | | INVOLVES ARMPITS AND THAT'S JUST ONE GOOD REASON
| 90 '''| |___ 30 | THE PUBLIC DOESN'T GIVE A SHIT ABOUT SCIENCE
| 80 ___| | |
| | | |
| 70 ---| |___ 20 |
| | | |
| 60 '''| | |
| 50 ___| |___ 10 |
| | | |
| 40 ---| | |
| |_|___ 0 |
| 30 '''| | |
| 20 ___| | |
| | |___-10 |
| 10 ---| | |
| | | |
| 0 '''| |___-20 |
| -10 ___| | |
| | | |
| -20 ---| |___-30 |
| |#| |
| -30 '''|#| |
| -40 ___|#|___-40 |
| |#| |
| |#| |
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|_ `-' _| ctr
' )_______________( '
%
,-'''''''\
,` ,-'"""""\\
/ ,` \ \\
/ ,' ,-'''---'
( ( ,'
) ) (
/ / /
___.---' /_.'
,' / .---'
/ \/ /
/ / / YOU KNOW WHAT THIS REMINDS ME OF ?!?!?!?!
( / /
/\ / / BACON !!!! NINJAS !!!!!!!! ZOMBIES !!!!!! AND ASPIES
) ( (
.' ) )
.---...-' .' /
\\ \ ,' /
\\__....-' ,'
`--.....-'
MJP
%
--_--
( -_ _).
( ~ ) ) FRONT TOWARD FRIENDS AND FAMILY
(( ) ( ) () )
(. )) ( )
``.. ..``
| |
(=| |=)
| | jnh
(../( )\.))
%
.:
I LIKE TO SPELL "REACTION" AS "REAX" / )
( (
\ )
o ._(/_.
o |___%|
___ ___ ___ ___ ___ | %|
| | ._____|_|__|_|__|_|__|_|_____. | %|
| | |__________________________|%| | %|
|o| | | |%| | | | | |~| | | .|_%|.
.' '. | | |%| | | |~| |#| | | | ()%|
/ o \ | | :%: :~: : : :#: | | .__|___%|__.
:____o__: ._|_|_." " " "._|_|_. | ___%|_
'._____.' |___|%| |___|%| |_____(____ )
( (
\ '._____.-
grp '._______.-
%
\ /
\\ //
)\-/( MY FIRST RECTAL EXAM
/e e\
( =Y= )
/`-!-'\
____/ /___\ \
\ / ``` ```~~"--.,_
`-._\ / `~~"--.,_
----->| `~~"--.,_
_.-'/ \ ~~"--.,_
/jgs\_________________________,,,,....----""""~~~~````
%
,---------.
||"""""""|| AS A WELL-KNOWN SKEPTIC I LIKE TO SAY THE WORD "WOO"
|| || OR THE PHRASE "WOO WOO" BECAUSE IT MAKES ME SOUND
|/-->&<--\| LIKE A FUCKING RETARDED CHILD DESPITE THE FACT
| (._.) | THAT I'M ACTUALLY TRYING TO SOUND INTELLIGENT
| ( @ ) |
| /|`"|\ | NOTHING LIKE PREACHING TO THE CHOIR AND PANDERING
//(_\___/_)\\ TO TURN A GOOD ARGUMENT INTO KEYWORD-FILLED DOGSHIT
\\_()___()_//
`+---I---+'
|\(_)|(_)/|
_|j"""""""|j_
| |_______| |
|_| |_| hjw
%
+-----------------------------------------------------------------------------+
| | |\ -~ / \ / |
|~~__ | \ | \/ /\ /|
| -- | \ | / \ / \ / |
| |~_| \ \___|/ \/ / |
|--__ | -- |\________________________________/~~\~~| / \ / \ |
| |~~--__ |~_|____|____|____|____|____|____|/ / \/|\ / \/ \/|
| | |~--_|__|____|____|____|____|____|_/ /| |/ \ / \ / |
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| \mmmm : | _|___|____|____|____|____|____|___| /\| / \ / \ |
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| | |/ .-. | /\ \ / |
| | / | | |/ \ /\ |
| | / | | -_ \ / \ |
+-----------------------------------------------------------------------------+
| | /| | | 2 3 4 | /~~~~~\ | /| |_| .... ......... |
| | ~|~ | % | | | ~J~ | | ~|~ % |_| .... ......... |
+-----------------------------------------------------------------------------+
CAN'T WAIT UNTIL DICE PUTS VILLAGES, NPCS, HUNGER, AND FUCKING DRAGONS
IN THE NEXT PATCH FOR BATTLEFIELD 3 THEREBY MAKING A FUN GAME SHITTY
%
AN ANGEL *POOFS* ONTO YOUR RIGHT SHOULDER !!!!!!
YOU TURN YOUR HEAD TO HEAR IT SAY
SUCK A DICK
/
/
/)o(\
||^||
'/_\'
PP
IF YOU HESITATE AND DO NOT FOLLOW ITS INSTRUCTIONS

RIGHT AWAY A SECOND ANGEL *POOFS* ONTO YOUR LEFT SHOULDER !!!!!!!!
YOU CRANE YOUR HEAD TO THE LEFT TO HEAR IT SAY
WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOUR FUCKING EARS

HE SAID SUCK A DICK
\
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/_\
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%
_/.-
../.-'(()
(( ) )))
/)- _)) *THIS* BALLERINA HAS DREAMS !!!!!!!
( \_ )
\-\|(__ I'M GOING TO BLOW THE DIRECTOR OF THE PLAY I'M IN
\/-' \ TO GET THE JOB RATHER THAN THE DIRECTOR OF THE PORN VIDEO
(_) |\-\ I WAS IN WHEN I WAS 19 TO PAY RENT ONCE
| ( ) )
|--\/_'
_.-' . \_'._ I'M CERTAIN IT WILL BE A *TOTALLY* DIFFERENT EXPERIENCE
'-.'_|_|__\.-'
| /. \
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\ - / TAKE ME TO YOUR MCDONALD'S
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.-""""- WIKIPEDIA BLACKOUT !!!!!!11
F .-'
F J FOR 24 HOURS THE WORLD
I I WILL BE SMARTER
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\ \ V VV V / / TOP NUCLEAR SECRETS:
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\-\-||-/-/ THIS IS NOT A BATMINTON SHUTTLECOCK
\\L||J// BUT RATHER A PRECISE AND CLEAR BLUEPRINT
\____/ FOR BUILDING A BOOSTED THERMONUCLEAR DEVICE
|____|
| | PLEASE DON'T HATE ME BECAUSE I MAKE SHIT UP
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| I'M A KIND OF GAY ANCHOR
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| I MEAN SERIOUSLY LOOK AT ME
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_____|\
_.--| SSt |: THIS IS AN EXACT REPLICA OF THE
<____|.----|| COSTA CONCORDIA WHICH CRASHED
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/ / :_| ;`-._; __..--'; : : THIS TRAGEDY WAS INEVITABLE
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%
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/ _ \_
( c-(_)(_)__ SAMMY THE SEAHORSE WAS NEVER TOLD HE COULDN'T
\ .._ . ) WALK SO HE DID HIS OWN THING AND STROLLED AROUND
\ / `-' THE SEA FLOOR LOOKING ALL CLEVER AND SHIT
/\-|\_
C-.\_\( HOWEVER EVOLUTION DOES NOT REWARD BEING A PRICK
( Y o)( AND THUS NO SEAHORSE LADY (OR WHATEVER THEY'RE CALLED)
| | o)) WANTED TO MAKE SEX (OR WHATEVER THEY CALL IT)
c - __) WITH HIM SO HIS AMAZING ABILITY DIED WTIH HIM
/ \ \===|
| //===/ LET THIS BE A LESSON KIDS:
| /|===/ KILL YOURSELF BECAUSE YOU'LL NEVER AMOUNT TO ANYTHING
|/ |==/
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// \_/ I'M A SAFETY PIN
// //
// // JAB ME IN THINGS AND I'LL MAKE THEM SAFE
//_ //
jgs ((_))/ LIKE YOUR FRIEND'S TESTICLES
`--` OR PERHAPS YOUR NEIGHBOR'S EYEBALL
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EXCUSE ME SIR YOU CAN'T TALK THAT WAY TO ME I AM A ***MOTHER***
HAVE YOU EVER KNOWN THE BEAUTY AND JOY OF BRINGING A
CHILD INTO THIS WORLD???
THE MIRACLE OF CREATION THAT HAS BEEN EXPERIENCED BY BILLIONS

OF BEAUTIFUL OTHER WYMEN BEFORE YOU???
DO YOU THINK THE WOMAN WHO GAVE BIRTH TO HITLER WAS AN UPPITY BITCH ABOUT
BEING A MOTHER AND TOOK LOTS OF TIME OFF WORK BECAUSE HER "KID WAS SICK"
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WARNING: DO NOT BEAT OFF ACROSS THIS LINE
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WE NEED MORE ORGANIC VEGAN WICCAN HERBS TO MAKE OUR STUPID HIPPIE CRAP
SO WE CAN CAST A SPELL THAT WILL PLEASE THE EARTH GODDESS
ALSO SOME OF YOUR HARD EARNED MONEY TO BUY COKE AND PURSES WOULD BE NICE
%
WE DON'T NEED NO QUEER BRITISH KIDS SINGING THE CHORUS FOR SOME REASON
ALL IN ALL WE'RE ALL JUST AN OVERRATED SONG
_|___|___|___|___|___|___|___|___|___|___|___|___|___|___|___|___|___|
___|___|___|___|___|___|___|___|___|___|___|___|___|___|___|___|___|__
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___|___|___|___|___|___|___|___|___|___|___|___|___|___|___|___|___|__
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I'M TOPPED WITH HEROIN SUPPOSITORIES AND TOXIC WASTE
BUT YOU'LL EAT ME ANYWAY, YOU FAT WASTE OF LIFE
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IF YOU EAT THE WRONG PART OF ME YOU'LL TURN GAY
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I WONDER IF RICHELLE RYAN REGRETS
GETTING THAT "HEART BREAKER" TATTOO ON HER ASS
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_.--._
,' `. OKCUPID ANNOUNCEMENT:
/ __) __` \ WE WILL BE REMOVING THE OPTION TO SELECT
( (`-`(-') ) "THIN" OR "ATHLETIC" AS YOUR BODY TYPE
/) \ _ / ( ONCE YOU HAVE SELECTED "FEMALE" AS YOUR
/' )-._.' . \ ___ GENDER
( ,--., `.)___(___)
)( /-.,--'\ _ \X/`
'/ .'/ \ ( Uu")\
/ / \ `/,-' ) BECAUSE NOBODY HONEST WAS USING THEM ANYWAY
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IN CASE YOU HADN'T HEARD GOOGLE HAS CHANGED
ITS PRIVACY POLICY !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! JUST SO YOU KNOW
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
SERIOUSLY GOOGLE CHANGED ITS PRIVACY POLICY
%
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; CAN'T FIGURE OUT HOW ZYNGA COMES UP WITH THIS STUFF
; UNLESS THEY HAVE SOME SORT OF PHOTOCOPIER
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.' || '. YAY THE TOPEKA RED WINGS WIN
/ __||__ \ THE SUPER WORLD SERIES
| /`- -`\ |
| | 6 6 | |
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(((} CAN'T WAIT FOR JAPAN
-''-. TO FINISH THAT INVISIBILITY CLOAK
(\ /\) SO I CAN GET ON AND OFF THE BUS WITHOUT PAYING
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(\|----|/) LOOK DUDE YOU'RE IN *MY* MAZE WHY DO YOU
\ 0 0 / HAVE TO BE SUCH A DICK ABOUT IT
| |
___/\../\____ JUST LIVE AND LET LIVE AND GET THE FUCK OUT
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(((( - ))) DOESN'T A "GIRLFRIEND EXPERIENCE" JUST MEAN THAT
((|)_*_/((( YOU HAVE TO PAY MORE AND PUT UP WITH MORE BULLSHIT
))(/) (\((|)
((((\___/))(\ THIS DOESN'T SEEM LIKE A GOOD MARKETING STRATEGY
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GOOD THING NOTCH FINALLY ADDED PHASES OF THE MOON

AND YET CLEARLY HAS NO IDEA HOW THEY WORK
BUT WHAT DO YOU EXPECT FROM THE GUY WHO TOOK SO LONG
FIGURING OUT THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN NORTH AND EAST
WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU EXPECT FROM SWEDES
%
I WISH TEAM FORTRESS 2 AND ALL ITS FANS WOULD JUST GO AWAY
IN FACT, VALVE SOFTWARE IN GENERAL CAN JUST FUCK OFF
PORTAL IS AN OVERRATED PILE OF DOGSHIT
THE MEMORY OF HALF-LIFE AND COUNTER-STRIKE GETS
MORE BITTERSWEET EVERYTIME THEY RELEASE A NEW,
GAYER VERSION OF THE LAST PILE OF SHIT
AND MAYBE GET A NEW GAME ENGINE GUYS

2004 WAS A LONG TIME AGO
____________ _..._
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THINK ABOUT WHAT WOULD HAPPEN IF EVERY HUMAN BEING

MASTURBATED ALL AT ONCE ??!?!?!? IMAGE THE POSSIBILITIES
EXCEPT WOMEN OF COURSE, THEY'RE NOT PEOPLE
ALSO THEY DON'T KNOW WHAT SEX IS
THEY JUST HAVE IT DONE TO THEM AND LOOK CONFUSED

AND THEN SOMEONE BUYS THEM NEW SHOES AND THEY'RE HAPPY
%
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//_ _)
( "\"
\_-/ I CONSIDER HARRY S. TRUMAN
,---/ '---. TO BE "THE ONE TRUE MAN"
/ - - \
/ \_. _|__,/ \
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/ _/ ( ' ) / /
/ | (_____) | /
/,' / \/ /,
_/(_ ( ._, )-'
`--,/ |____|__|
| ) |
| / | FOLKS NOT GETTING THIS JOKE
| / \ | WILL BE FORGIVEN BECAUSE IT
/ `| | _) INVOLVES KNOWLEDGE OF HISTORY,
| | | | GAMES, AND PUNS
| / \ |
| | \ | ALSO THIS COMIC IS A PIECE OF SHIT
| \ | \_
gnv /__( '-._`,
%
BE MY VALENTINE ??
\ SUCK A DICK, SON

\
\ /
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jgs ||| |||
| |
%
______________
/ /|
/ / |
/____________ / |
| _________ | |____________________
| | | | |/ /|, /| OKAY I'M USING A PURELY FUNCTIONAL
| | .. | | / / /9 / | LANGUAGE AND I WANT TO DO SOMETHING
| | . | | /_______ / /9 / | THAT ACTUALLY DOES SOMETHING CRAZY
| |_________| | | ____ +| /9 / | LIKE I/O WHICH EITHER RETAINS STATE
|________++___|/|________|/9 / | OR HAS SIDE EFFECTS SO I'M GOING
________________ ,9` / / | TO LEARN THIS LANGUAGE WELL FOR TWO
/ -/ /- /| ,9 / /| | MONTHS AND THEN STUDY THESE THREE
/______________ //|,9 / / | | BOOKS ON THE SUBJECT FOR FOUR
| ______ ||,9 / / | | MONTHS AND THEN PONDER FOR ANOTHER
| -+ |_9366_| ||/ / /| | | TWO MONTHS (WITH HEAVY BLOGGING)
|_______________|/__________/ / | | | AND THEN I'LL SORT OF GET IT
/////----------/| | /__| | |__ AND MAKE AN ATTEMPT AT A SHITTY
|o o \o| \| | | | | | IMPLEMENTATION BUT IT'LL HAVE
|o \|_ || o|______ | |__| | |__ TERRIBLE AND UNACCEPTABLE
|o \_ | || o| | | | | | / PERFORMANCE AND AFTER A WEEK OR SO
|o / |\ /| o| | | | |__|/ OF CONCLUDING THAT THAT'S WHERE THE
|o o| | | | PROBLEM IS I'LL SLOWLY FIX IT OVER
|o-------------o| | | | SIX MONTHS WITH LOTS OF BUGS AND
|o /\/\ o| | | | HARD WORK AND FINALLY COME UP WITH
|o / o o| o| | | | SOMETHING THAT WORKS RIGHT
|o / \_+_/ o| | | |
|o |\ \ o| | | | OR, YOU KNOW, I COULD HAVE NOT USED
|o | |+ +-| o| | | | A PURELY FUNCTIONAL LANGUAGE IN THE
|o-------------o| | | | FUCKING FIRST PLACE
|o /| o| | | / m1a
\/|/|/ |/\/|/\/ |____|/ AND TYPED "PRINT"
%
.-=====-.
| .""". |
| | | |
| | | |
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'.`'._ .===, | _.-' /
'._ '-./ ,//\ _| _.-' _.'
'-.| ,//' \-' ` .-'
`//'_`--; ;.-'
`\._ ;| |
\`-' . | VAGINAS LOOK KIND OF STRANGE OUT OF CONTEXT
|_.-'-._| I MEAN DURING SEX THEY'RE COOL AND ALL BUT
\ _'_ / A RANDOM CLOSEUP SHOT OF A VAGINA "AT REST" IS
|; -:- | JUST A LITTLE AWKWARD AND SOMEWHAT UNAPPEALING
|| -.- \
|; .\ IN MY HUMBLE OPINION ANYWAY
/ `'\'`\-;
;` '. `_/ I'M JESUS, I DIED FOR YOUR SINS FUCKHEADS
|,`-._; .; SHOW ME YOUR PRICKS
`;\ `.-'-;
| \ \ |
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| ) | |
| / /` /
| | /| |
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| / |/ /|
| \ / / |
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%
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'._ '-./ ,//\ _| _.-' _.'
'-.| ,//' \-' ` .-'
`//'_`--; ;.-'
`\._ ;| |
\`-' . |
THE BEER THEY SERVE |_.-'-._|
UP HERE TASTES LIKE \ _'_ /
JUDAS ISCARIOT'S CUM |; -:- |
|| -.- \
OR POSSIBLY MARY |; .\
MAGDALENE'S DIARRHEA / `'\'`\-;
;` '. `_/
|,`-._; .;
OH SHIT IT'S PABST `;\ `.-'-;
| \ \ |
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| / /` /
| | /| |
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%
.-=====-.
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| | | |
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'._ '-./ ,//\ _| _.-' _.'
'-.| ,//' \-' ` .-'
`//'_`--; ;.-'
`\._ ;| |
\`-' . | I REMEMBER THIS ONE DAY, I SPENT THE
|_.-'-._| ENTIRE AFTERNOON SCRAPING MY PIPE AND WATCHING
\ _'_ / VIDEOS OF SOME FAT GUY EATING THE WORLD'S
|; -:- | HOTTEST CHILE PEPPERS ON YOUTUBE
|| -.- \
|; .\ WHILE EATING THEM HE MADE DISGUSTING SOUNDS
/ `'\'`\-; THAT REMINDED ME OF PIGEONS FUCKING
;` '. `_/
|,`-._; .; I WILL NEVER REGRET THAT FINEST OF DAYS
`;\ `.-'-;
| \ \ |
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'-=====-'
%
__________________________________________________
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|__||| ____ _.=._ | .| ||__||'--' )__)__( _()_|||__|| |---|/ .||_||
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|| ||',-'--'-.' | .| || || ),---.|||||-|-|-||| || |---|/ .|| |
LOTS OF HIGH EXPLOSIVES MAKES FOR GOOD NEIGHBORS

%
,#######,
#########
######### THIS PROCESS IS CALLED "MOONING"
#########
'#######' IT WORKS BETTER IF YOU ACTUALLY HAVE A
.--' '--. SLIGHTLY PROPERLY-SHAPED BODY OTHERWISE
/` `\ YOU'RE JUST POINTING OUT THAT YOU'RE A MIDGET
/ '-. : .-' \ OR OTHERWISE HAVE SOME AS-YET-UNIDENTIFIED
/ | : | \ DEVELOPMENTAL FAILURE
/ /|.-- --.|\ \
\ ( / . \ ) /
\ \|jgs | |/ /
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WELCOME TO MEXICO
WE USE BIG CATS FOR BORDER CONTROL (NO ACTUALLY WE REALLY DO NOT)
%
YES I ACTUALLY BEAT OFF TO THIS NES GAME A LONG TIME AGO
DON'T JUDGE ME
THE QUESTION IS WHY DIDN'T YOU BEAT OFF TO IT???

NOT "WHY DID I"!!!
THE WORDS "INFANT SCHOOL" STILL GIVE ME AN INSTANT DIME ROLL
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%
ANIME IS COOL BECAUSE IT DEPICTS WOMEN ACCURATELY
TWO GIANT HOLES STABBED IN THEIR FACE
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.WWWW.
WWWW""'
.WWWW O O SPARE ANY CHANGE FOR WOMEN'S EROTICA???
.WWWW"WW.'-.
WWWWWWWWWWWWW.
WWWWWWWWWWWWWWW
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%
THIS ISN'T SUPPOSED TO BE ANIME IT'S ACTUALLY JUST A REGULAR
DRAWING OF A CHILD WITH DOWN SYNDROME
YOU LOUSY INSENSITIVE OCTOPUS-MASTURBATING SHIT RIBBON OF A HUMAN BEING,

A FAT LOT OF GOOD THAT BACHELOR'S IN PSYCH DID YOU ON THIS ONE
FUCKING WHORE
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%
OH SWEET I LOVE THIS KIND OF PORN
THIS IS THE ONE WHERE THEY PUT TONS OF EYELINER ON THE CHICKS
BEFORE THE BJ SCENE SO THEIR TEARS MAKE THEM LOOK ALL STUPID
OH WAIT DISREGARD IT'S JUST A SHITTY PICTURE OF ALICE COOPER

DOES ANYBODY HAVE ANYTHING I CAN BEAT OFF TO
I'D EVEN SETTLE FOR THAT CRAP WITH THE FAKE DICKS RIGHT NOW
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THIS SUITCASE CONTAINS

THE NUCLEAR FOOTBALL
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THIS ONE CONTAINS THE

EMERGENCY BACKUP PORNOGRAPHY
WHICH DO YOU THINK I'D

GRAB FIRST IF THE NEWS CAME
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I TAKE A LOT OF DIFFERENT CRAPS

IN PLACES YOU CANNOT EVEN IMAGINE
%
CAN SOMEONE PLEASE CHANGE THE CHANNEL
AIRWOLF IS ON IN THREE MINUTES
CHANGE IT TO USA YOU ASSHOLE ROMANS
YOU GUYS ARE DICKS, I DON'T WANT TO HANG OUT WITH YOU ANYMORE
GUESS I DON'T REALLY HAVE A CHOICE THOUGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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REVENGE IS A DISH BEST SERVED WITH ARUGULA

BECAUSE IT TASTES LIKE BITTER CAT SHIT WRAPPINGS
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Gr
HOLY CRAP I JUST REALIZED SOMETHING

WHETHER OR NOT I BLOCK THIS SHOT
I'M STILL PLAYING A STUPID FUCKING SPORT
%
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I MADE MY RESTRAINING ORDER DISAPPEAR!!!

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%
WELP, IT'S FINALLY HAPPENED
MY CAT GOT CAUGHT IN SOME RANDOM PLASTIC GARBAGE
LAYING AROUND MY APARTMENT AND DIED FROM ASPHYXIATION
CAN SOMEBODY SCOOP THAT UP I'M TRYING TO

GET DRUNK AND BEAT OFF AND STILL NOT CLEAN EVER
HE WOULD HAVE WANTED IT THIS WAY
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| |__ | ',,,| BOY THESE BRACELETS AND
| |____| / | PINS AND BUMPER STICKERS
/ _| ,,'_ | AND BROCHURES SURE DO
|__________|___,' ,,' / BUY A LOT OF SENSEO BRAND
\ ---' \,/ ,' COFFEE PODS AND INDIE CDS
\ | ,,,' \_/
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%
MESSAGE TO WHOEVER DREW THIS SHIT:
TAKE A BATH AND MOVE OUT OF YOUR PARENT'S HOUSE
HOPEFULLY THIS WAS MADE IN THE 1980s AND

YOU ARE ALREADY DEAD
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______3_4_0-0._________5_0_0_0_0_______.--.___________
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-------------------------------------------------------- CJ
WHAT THIS GAME REALLY NEEDS IS A HIDDEN TRIBUTE STEVE JOBS

%
.----------------.
/__________________\ BLHGLBHLGHLBH NOT GONNA MAKE IT IN TOMORROW
||\ ________ /| _ |
|| |: :| |o(_)| BHGLBHLGHB PIZZA ROLLS
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|| |________| | __ |
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( O )` ~ - . _ . - ~ ` ~ - . _ . - ~ ` ~ - I TOOK SUCH A HUGE POO THAT
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/ /
/ / /
/ JUANSRX
/ 17/03/2012
/ /
/ / / /
THIS SHIT GIVES ME GAS

%
I ACTUALLY REALLY GENUINELY LIKE THIS DRAWING
OF A CUTE LITTLE BLOWFISH WITH CUTE EYES
WELL DONE, ARTIST; HATS OFF TO YOU ON THIS

TOP SHELF EFFORT AND I MEAN THAT WITHOUT SARCASM
I HOPE ONE DAY YOU ARE DISCOVERED BY PIXAR AND GET

THE RECOGNITION YOU DESERVE
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WHY ARE THERE NO GOOD
QUEER STROKE MAGS IN HEAVEN
I FOUND AN OLD COPY OF BOY'S LIFE

BUT THAT WAS PRETTY MUCH IT
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****BELGIUM****
THE BIRTHPLACE OF FEMALE EJACULATION
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| |'| | . ' /: :\ ' . ||
| |'| | . ' ; . ; ' . ||
| |'| | ' . \: . . :/ . ' ||
| |'| | ' . `. . . ,/ . ' ||
| |'| | ' . `-.,,.-' . ' ||
| |'| | ' . . ' ||
| |'| | ' . . ' ||
| |'| | ' || lgbeard
| |'|o|-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_||
| |'
| |' WELCOME TO THE MOON FLAG
| |' SLIGHTLY BEYOND THIS MOON FLAG, YOU WILL SEE THE MOON
| |' SOMEONE ELSE WILL BE WELCOMING YOU THERE
'~~' THAT'S NOT MY JOB, SO PLEASE KEEP WALKING
%
GUESS WHO RUNS ME
(HINT: NOT MEL GIBSON)
_._._ _._._
_| |_ _| |_
| ... |_._._._._._._._._._._| ... |
| ||| | o NATIONAL BANK o | ||| |
| """ | """ """ """ | """ |
()) |[-|-]| [-|-] [-|-] [-|-] |[-|-]| ())
(())) | |---------------------| | (()))
(())())| """ | """ """ """ | """ |(())())
(()))()|[-|-]| ::: .-"-. ::: |[-|-]|(()))()
()))(()| | |~|~| |_|_| |~|~| | |()))(()
|| |_____|_|_|_|__|_|_|__|_|_|_|_____| ||
~ ~^^ @@@@@@@@@@@@@@/=======\@@@@@@@@@@@@@@ ^^~ ~
^~^~ ~^~^
Sher^
%
oooo"""""o"ooooo
oo$"""" o " o o " "o
o$"" o""o" " "" "o o $ ""$
o" o" o " $ $ $o
ooo" " " $ $ $ """""""""$oo

o$"" " o o$ o$ o o "$$
oooo" " o " "o" o$ " $ "o o "$o
o$""""$"" oo"" o"o"o$" " "o "ooo"$
$" $ " o" "o$" $ oo o $"oo
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$ $ $ oo$$$$$oo "" " "$$ $
$ $ o""" "$o "o $ $ o "$
o" o ooo"" $o o "o" $
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o$ $ o o$ oo$oooooooo$oo $o oo o$"
$$ $o o" o" """ $ o oo o$$"
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$$ " $" " $" o $ "" o$
"$ o o$" oooooo " $ oooooo $ o $"
"o o"$ $ o""$$$o o$ $ " $ o$$$o"o"$ $""
"o $$ $ "$oo$$$$o$ " "$o$$$$o" $ $
"o "$ o $ "oo oo" $ "ooo" $ o$"
$" $ o$ $ " o$ "o oo" $ o$"
$ $ $ o $ "oooooo$" """"" $ $"
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$o $o oo oo o$" $ " "$ o "$
$o "$ooo o" o"$ $ "o " " $o
"$o $ o" o "oo oo"
"""""$ $ " "oo$o"$"$"$oo"""$ooooooo$"
$o $ $ " ""$oo o"
""oo$ " o$""""""oo "" $
o"o " "" o "o"
$ $oo"oo "o ooo$o""
$"""o $""$"""""o$ooooo$$""
$" $ HOW IS THE BOING BOING
o$" o $o LOGO *NOT* A LESBIAN
o$$o$$" oo o oo oo $ MASTURBATING WITH
$" " $$o$""$ $$o o$o $"o "$ A JACKHAMMER ??????
"$" "$o$" $ $" "$ $ ""$o
$ $" "o$ " WHAT KIND OF A WORLD
"
%
/\
,'.'
','
_.,._ _,.-+`'+-._ .|. GOOD LORD THE ONLY THING
_.+'` `.' \ (___) WORSE THAN THE MASS EFFECT 3
,' \ \ ENDING IS THE FUCKING ASPIE
\ \ \ RETARDS TALKING AND ARGUING
\ \ \ ABOUT IT ALL OVER THIS STUPID
\ \ \ FAT ENTITLED GLOBE
\ \ \
\ \ \ THE ONLY THING TO DO NOW IS
\ \ \ TO RETCON IT WITH FANFIC
\ \ \ AND THEN OFF TO WENDY'S AND
\ _.-~`'~-._ _\_.-+'`'`+-._\ BACK HOME TO MOM'S BASEMENT
ag `,' `---`
%
_____
/~/~ ~\ PRISCILLA BUCKLEY DIED THE OTHER DAY
| | \
\ \ \ ALSO MARIAH CAREY
\ \ \
--\ \ .\'' AND GIANNA MICHAELS
--==\ \ ,,i!!i,
''"'',,}{,,
THESE THINGS GO IN THREES YOU KNOW

%
__ __
| _| |_ | HEY EVERYONE LET'S TALK ABOUT BRACKETS !!!!!!!!!!!111
| | | |
| | | |
| | | |
|__| |__| SURE HOPE THEY MEAN AS IN COMMUTATORS AND
NOT SHITTY ASSFUCK COLLEGE BASKETBALL
%
`~ _ _____
` _ ~ 7____//
- ` ~ _ ~ `/----/( COULD BIOWARE PLEASE STOP OFFERING ME
/ / `& CHANCES TO BE GAY WITH KAIDEN
ad ( ( ) BECAUSE IT GETS CREEPY AFTER A WHILE
`(O)_`&_.%
|
|
|
|
o
%
_____
/
'`-._
| -. \
_.,--. '----- | /
,-'' `. / ,'
/' _--\ | ___ | /
| ' | |,.''' ''--:_
| ,' \ | ,--.. `.
\____/ /' _( '. '\
/ /' '-. . ____
| | \
O,-' '\
| `\ , |
\ | \. O / _/
__\,.\ `-'''\__,. -' |
| _,.-=. ,/
VJ `.____,' \ _,-'
'--------'
GET YOUR ASS TO BARSOOM

%
__________
|DAILY NEWS|
|&&& ======| BARACK OBAMA DOES NOT IN FACT HAVE A GLEAMING
|=== ======| JEWEL OF A HUGE, BLACK COCK THAT URINATES
|=== == %%$| DELICIOUS, GOLDEN KOLSCH LAGER.
|[_] ======|
|=== ===!##|
HUFFINGTON POST REGRETS THE ERROR.
ejm97 |__________|
%
THE HUNGER GAMES SEEMS PRETTY GAY
AND THEREFORE AWESOME
BECAUSE I'M A GAY MAN WHO HAS ILLICIT SEX

WITH OTHER GAY MALES
NO VAGINAS INVOLVED WHATSOEVER

NOT EVEN AMI EMERSON'S BLOWN OUT OLD PISSFLAPS
,---.
/ |
/ |
/ |
/ |
___,' |
< -' :
`-.__..--'``-,_\_
|o/ <o>` :,.)_`>
:/ ` ||/)
(_.).__,-` |\
/( `.`` `| :
\'`-.) ` ; ;
| ` /-<
| ` / `.
,-_-..____ /| ` :__..-'\
/,'-.__\\ ``-./ :` ; \
`\ `\ `\\ \ : ( ` / , `. \
\` \ \\ | | ` : : .\ \
\ `\_ )) : ; | | ): :
(`-.-'\ || |\ \ ` ; ; | |
\-_ `;;._ ( ` / /_ | |
`-.-.// ,'`-._\__/_,' ; |
\:: : / ` , / |
|| | ( ,' / / |
|| ,' / SSt|
%
.
|\ ONE DAY I'LL BE A PORNSTAR
|X\
XX\ _ O_/
XX\ o (#)==_/\
XX\ /\/
XX\ /
XX\.
XX|
ejm97 X|
%
.+.
@
/' \. .:
_______ )) ( _:::.__.'_ I'D REALLY LIKE PHYSICISTS TO READ MY
`:::::: ~ / ,\ .::' PAPER ON ARXIV.ORG AND START TAKING
:::::' \` \ .'::' MY "MANY BOOBS THEORY" SERIOUSLY
:::' ('.\ `-.. :.
__::'_______`-.\ ))::._
.'``::::::::: `-'~'
`:::' a:f
'
%
.-.
(/^\) GIANNA MICHAELS HAS KIND OF A RAT FACE
(\ /) BUT I'D STILL POUND IT INTO HER TURDCUTTER
.-'-.
/(_I_)\
\\) (// YOU KNOW
/ \
\ | /
\|/ HER ANTIMOUTH
/|\
\|/
jgs /Y\
%
//\\
<<()>> A
|==| /\\ STOP KONY ?????
| | / \\
| | / \\ I THOUGHT WE ALREADY DID THAT
A | | / \\
//\_| |_/ \\ AFTER ALL I CLICKED "LIKE"
// | | \\
// | | //\\ \\
(( <0> | | <<()>> ))
\\ | | \\// //
\\ _| |_ //
\\/ | | \ //
V | | \ //
| | \ //
| | \ //
| | \//
| | V
| |
| |
| |
| |
| |
| |
| |
| |
zot
%
.-=====-.
| .""". |
| | | |
| | | |
| '---' |
| |
| |
.-================-' '-================-.
j| _ |
g|.'o\ __ |
s| '-.'. .'o.` |
'-==='.'.=========-. .-========.'.-'===-'
'.`'._ .===, | _.-' /
'._ '-./ ,//\ _| _.-' _.'
'-.| ,//' \-' ` .-'
`//'_`--; ;.-'
`\._ ;| |
\`-' . |
|_.-'-._|
\ _'_ / TIME TO LET ME DOWN FOR EASTER
|; -:- | SO I CAN PUT SOME COOKIES IN MY OVEN
|| -.- \
|; .\ SINCE I'M JEWISH IT'S TECHNICALLY
/ `'\'`\-; A "JEW OVEN"
;` '. `_/
|,`-._; .; ALRIGHT QUIT MAKING STUPID JOKES AND
`;\ `.-'-; UNNAIL ME, I'M DYING FOR A SHOWER TOO
| \ \ |
| `\ \ |
| ) | |
| / /` /
| | /| |
| | / | /
| / |/ /|
| \ / / |
| /o | |
| |_/ |
| |
| |
| |
| |
| |
| |
| |
'-=====-'
%
THE WHOLE WORLD IS WANKING
THE WHOLE WORLD IS WANKING
___ //////
(__|_______--/| / ///
__/ +--+| |-\| (> )/
|_|ooo+--+|_| /_ /
`-------' |_, //
|___/
TO LINDSEY DAWN MCKENZIE
TO LINDSEY DAWN MCKENZIE
%
_________
.--' `--.
.--' .---. `--.
.' .-. .' '. .-. '.
( ( ) | | ( ) ) I FIND THE LACK OF CONSISTENCY IN THE
'. `-' '. .' `-' .' PRONUNCIATION OF "DIVISIVE" VERY DIVISIVE
`--. '---' .--'
`--._________.--'LGB
%
________
/________\
//( ( ( ( \\
|| <o> <o>((|| I REALLY TRIED PLAYING THE MASS EFFECT
||) ) ` ) )|| SERIES ALL THE WAY THROUGH AS RENEGADE
|| (\___( ( || BUT AFTER A WHILE IT GOT HARD TELLING
\|) ) \)_|/ THE WIDOW WHO LOST HER WHOLE FAMILY TO
/ ((\_v_/ \ SUCK IT UP AND STOP BEING A LITTLE BITCH
/ /) x \ \
| | x | |
| \ x / |
| | x | |
| |\ x /| |
| |/\ x /\| |
| | \x/ | |
| | V | |
/____\ /____\
| | | |
/ \ / \
| | | |
`~~| |~~'
|\ /|
| \ / |
|___V___|
| / \ |
| / \ |
|/ \|
/ \
/ \
______/ \_______
============================
Alyssa
%
))),,
/ ///
. . . /
\\ < ) I HAVEN'T BEAT OFF TODAY OR YESTERDAY
-C\ \_- |
\_/ __|__/L__ DO YOU THINK I'LL BE OKAY
/ \
___ \
\ /
V __
|--\ utis
\__/--
%
/ / / // / // // / /
/// /// / / / / / // MY JIZZ IS GLUTEN-FREE
/ / //// // // / //////
/ / // /// // /// ///
// / // \\\ // /// ///
/ //// / \\\\\ // /// /
// /// / \\\\\ /// / /
// /// / / \\\\\ /// / / NO I DON'T KNOW WHAT "GLUTEN-FREE" MEANS
// / /// / \\\\\ //mc /
%
Z
o_________Z_o
| Z |
|_____.&&,_Z| FLUNITRAZEMAP IS SOMETHING THE BODY NEEDS ANYWAY
\ && = > Z\
|\ && C Z \
|'\_\/####\____\
'\______/_____\
'\ \
'\ ( \
'\ ` \
'\o___________\o
'|____________|
ejm98 | |
%
POKEMON RAGE !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
DROPPIN' LOADS
___
/\ |\ | o) /
/ \\ | \ ___ ____ _ ||_/_ ___ _ _
(o |\\| o)_ / ___/ /|| o) / / / OO
\ | \\ / __/ / _ / || / / /_ / .||.
\| \/___/_/____/ |__/___/___/ db
%
_ ||
|-| m1a ||
____| |____ ||
/ _| |_ \ //
| / ,| |. \ |_//
| ( ( '-' ) ) |-'
| \ `'"'' / |
| `-----' ; DON'T BE COY YOU KNOW WHAT TO DO WITH THIS
|\___________/|
| ;
\___________/
%
|\.
| \'. I INTEND TO JERK OFF LIKE NOBODY'S EVER JERKED OFF BEFORE
| \ -
| \ -'\\ NAMELY, UNDERWATER WHILE STRANGLING MYSELF
|.-'_\ \ \\ AND SIMULTANEOUSLY BEING ATTACKED BY PIRANHAS
.|.-'_.\ \ \\
\|.-'_.-\ \ \\
|.-'_.-'\ \ \\
|.-'_.-'_\ \ \\
|.-'_.-'_.\ \ \\
|.-'_.-'_..\ \ \\
|.-'_.-'_..-\ \ \\
|.-'_.-'_..-'\ \ \
|.-'_.-'_..-'_\ \
|.-'_.-'_..-'_.\ \
|.-'_.-'_..-'_.-\ \
|.-'_.-'_..-'_.-'\
|.-'_.-'_..-'_.-'_\
%
________
.##@@&&&@@##.
,##@&::%&&%%::&@##.
#@&:%%000000000%%:&@# RAINBOWS ARE GOD'S WAY OF LICKING DICK
#@&:%00' '00%:&@#
#@&:%0' '0%:&@#
#@&:%0 0%:&@#
#@&:%0 0%:&@#
#@&:%0 0%:&@#
"" ' " " ' ""
_oOoOoOo_ .-.-.
(oOoOoOoOo) ( : )
)`"""""`( .-.`. .'.-.
/ \ (_ '.Y.' _)
| | ( .'|'. )
\ / '-' | '-'
jgs `=========`
%
/^\
/ \
_______/_/_\ \_______
\ ____ ____\ \___ /
\ \ / / \ \ / /
\ / / \ / /
/ / / / WHAT'S WRONG WITH THIS WEIRD STAR
/ / \ / / \ WHY DOES IT LOOK SO WEIRD
/ /_\ \_____/_/_\ \
/_____\ \___________\
\ \ / /
jgs \ ` /
\_/
%
(\ /) MEW MEW MEW MEW MEW
(( "-" ))
\ @ @ / I'M A KITTEN WHOSE EYES HAVE BARELY OPENED
( "Y" )
pils ".^." `-. MEW MEW MEW
_/( _) ( )
(((.\(((./( ( STUFF A COCK IN ME
/.((("\ )
(((" " MEW MEW MEW
%
._, I CALL IT THE LEFT COAST !!!!!!
.\. | \
| \ / \ WAIT SOMETHING'S WRONG HERE
\ | ,---,___/ \_/\
\ '__-____'--, | \ _._,
\_---.-' | / | |~~~~~ | ~'-.
/ | | |~~~\___, | | .-___
/'\ \__|__/ | ~| | | | \
/'-__'-/~ | | |___| | |\. ~.
/ /__----~~/~~~~~.-------+-------|-----' \ '.
\--~~~_,/ _-~\ | | | | \ |
| / \__.' | \ |_______| | | \ '.
,|'\_/_ .' | | |----\ '---------. | | |
/}~~~~~_| _,| .-, / \__ | |__|___ | |
_'} .-~/ ~~| |--|_____| ~~~~| | | ~~--__|
.-'_|'~~~~~| \_. | | \ \ |________| | /
'\~|'. -~~ (_/ / } |------| \ / |
.'|| |_/ /__\_ / \ | | |~~--~-_/
< '/~ '---__ |_____|_______ | / |
\ | ' ~~~---__ |\_\
'~ ~~'
%
,-.
/ \ `. __..-,O
: \ --''_..-'.'
| . .-' `. '. CONFIDENCE IS HIGH
: . .`.' I REPEAT CONFIDENCE IS HIGH
\ `. / ..
\ `. ' . I WANT TO CONFIRM
`, `. \ THIS IS NOT AN EXERCISE
,|,`. `-.\
'.|| ``-...__..-` I REPEAT
| | THIS IS NOT AN EXERCISE
|__|
/||\
//||\\
// || \\
__//__||__\\__
'--------------' SSt
%
_
.!.!.
! ! I THINK I SHALL SHIT, SHOWER
; : AND THEN GO GET SOME SODA
; :
;_____: {{{{{ THUG LIFE }}}}}
! Coca!
!_____!
: :
: ;
.' '.
: : k&n
'''''
%
oo.
dL
88b I'M A PAID BLOGGER
d8P"
8P
d8
88
d88
888.
88888b..
LJ 8888P"
C """
G
M
M
8b
B'
%
__________
|THE STAGE | WANTED: R.U. 18-23 WITH THE ABILITY TO SING/DANCE?
|&&& ======| R.U. STREETWISE, OUTGOING, AMBITIOUS, AND DEDICATED?
|=== ======| HEART MANAGEMENT LTD. ARE A WIDELY SUCCESSFUL MUSIC
|=== == %%$| INDUSTRY MANAGEMENT CONSORTIUM CURRENTLY FORMING A
|[_] ======| CHOREOGRAPHED, SINGING/DANCING, ALL-FEMALE POP ACT
|=== ===!##| FOR A RECORDING DEAL. OPEN AUDITION.
ejm97 |__________|
%
I HAVE A SUGGESTION FOR
A SNORGTEES T-SHIRT
__.-.__.-.__
.'\ '-.__.-' /'.
/ | __ | \
/ | / \ | \ DICKS ARE DELICIOUS
'-._/ | | \_.-'
| | | |
| | | |
| / \ | FAGGOTS FAGGOTS FAGGOTS FAGGOTS
jgs/tQn | \_/\_/ |
'._ _.'
`""""`
%
IF ANYBODY FINDS MY CELL PHONE PLEASE
RETURN IT TO ME AT THE ALL-NIGHT DELI
WHERE I WILL BE WAITING AND WORKING ON
SOME CAMPAIGN-RELATED TUNA FISH
#GINGRICH2012 #STOPOBAMA
_ _
| |------------| |
.-'| | | |`-.
.' | | | | `.
.-' \ \ / / `-.
.' _.| |--------| |._ `.
/ -. .' | | | | `. .- \
/ `( | |________| | )' \
| \ .i------------i. / |
| .-')/ \(`-. |
\ _.-'.-'/ ________ \`-.`-._ /
\.-'_.-' / .-' ______ `-. \ `-._`-./\
`-' / .' .-' _ _`-. `. \ `-' \\
| .' .' _ (3) (2) _`. `. | //
/ / / (4) ___ (1)_\ \ \ \\
| | | _ ,' `.==' `| | | //
| | | (5) | B.T.| (O) | | | //
| | | _ `.___.' _ | | | \\
| \ \ (6) _ _ (9) / / | //
/ `. `. (7) (8) .' .' \ \\
/ `. `-.______.-' .' \ //
/ `-.________.-' \ __//
| |--'
|================================|hjw
"--------------------------------"
%
CHECK OUT THE NEW IBANK APP AT THE APPLE STORE
IT AUTOMATICALLY DEBITS YOUR BANK ACCOUNT $0.99 SEVERAL TIMES A DAY
FOR NO PARTICULAR REASON
BUT IT'S PART OF THE ***CLOUD***
,--------------------------------------------------------------------------.
| OV"|OOOOOOOO> U N I T E D S T A T E S OF A M E R I C A <OOOOOOOV"|OO |
| OO |OOOOOOOOOOOOmmmmOOOOOOmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmOOOOOOOmmmmOOOOOOOOOOOOO |OO |
| OO_|OO@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@OO_|OO |
| OOOOO@6@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@'" "`@@@@@@@@@@F@81497973A@@OOOOOO |
| OO@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@` ,,:@@@@@@*. `@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@OO |
| OOO@@@@@' _`@@@@@@@@@@@@@` W@@@@@@@@@@@; `@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@6@@@@@@OOO |
| OOO@@@@' |_ `@@@@@@@@@@@' (@@@@@;--;;--@' `@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@OOO |
| OOO@@@@. | .@@@@@@@@@@@ (@@@@ @ \@ ;@ @@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@OOO |
| OOO@@@@@, ,@@@@@@@@@@@@ (@@@@ _\ }@ @@@@@@@@'==`@@@@@@@@@@OOO |
| OOO@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@. \_@;;; __ ;; .@@@@@@@@./\,@@@@@@@@@@OOO |
| OO@@@@@F@81497973A@@@@@@@. ,;;\_ .__/;, .@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@OO |
| OOOOOO@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@. ,;;;\ , /;;;; .@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@OOOOOO |
| OV"|OO@@@6@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@. Washington .@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@6@@@OV"IOO |
| OO |OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO IOO |
| OO_|OOOOOOOOOOOOOO> O N E D O L L A R <OOOOOOOOOOOOOO_IOO |
`--------------------------------------------------------------------------'
-Phoenix-
%
_________
|#########|
|#########|
|#########|
|#########|
|#########|
__|_________|__
| '_ ' \
F (.) (.)--.__
/ `.
J |
F ._ .'
J `-.____.-'
F \
J \
| \--- I WILL GIVE YOU SIX DOLLARS
| . `. \_E TO SEE YOUR GIRLFRIEND'S TUSHIE
| `. `. L
,,, | `. `. |
\VVV' | `. ` |
\W| J ``` F
`. .' \ /
`--' ) ____.- '
/ / `. `. .-
/ .' `. `' /
`. \ `. /
`._| `-' TJ/mh/TVK
%
I JUST DISCOVERED I CAN BUY FLAVORED CONDOMS WITH FOOD STAMPS
BECAUSE THEY HAVE A NUTRITIONAL VALUE
_
_| |_
/~ ~\ /)
/' `\ ,/':|
( ) ( :/
| (o ) (o ) | /\:/'
| | /'//
| \_ _/ |/'//'
_______ | ~~~ /'//'
|* + +| | /~\/'//'
+-------+ |,-----'.////'|
|#######| /' .///'' \|
|#######| ( .///### )
|#######| `\///''## ,---'|
|#######|\ |\ / |
`~~~~~~~' `~---|-`\__/' |
Ts97 (~\_ _/~)
`\_ ~~-------~~ _/'
~~---------~~
%
/,,
/\ )
\,'
/`'`\
, HAPPY COMMIE DAY !!!!!!!!

,@,
,@@@, USEFUL IDIOTS SLAUGHTERED:
,@@@@@, ONE HUNDRED MILLION AND COUNTING
`@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@`
`@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@`
DR `@@@@@@@@@@@`
,@@@@@@`@@@@@@,
@@@@` `@@@@
;@` `@;
_ _ _ _
( ( ( |_)
~ ~ ~ |
%
RUSSIANS WHO GO TO HEAVEN ENJOY A PARADISE WHERE
EVERYBODY ELSE IS AS POOR, STUPID, AND DRUNK AS THEY ARE
BECAUSE RUSSIANS DON'T STRIVE FOR SELF-IMPROVEMENT BUT

ONLY TO MAKE THINGS SHITTIER FOR EVERY ONE ELSE
IT'S ONE OF THE BASIC PRINCIPLES OF COMMUNISM
-. .
_____ ',' ,
,' ,' ', ',
,' ,' | |
\ \ | |
\ /^\ \ ,' ,'
\ \ ,' ,'
/ ~-.___\.-' ,'
/ .______.- ~ \
/ /' \ \
\./ \/'
%
TODAY'S ASCII ART FART IS BROUGHT TO YOU BY: LAZY
tQn
%
PROMETHEUS IS PROBABLY NOT GOING TO BE GOOD
+ . _ .-.
3==({)_ . ( \
+ . _ )`\-| * ) \
. /_`' // |\ .-' `-a:f
. B'/`-'M\_| ) / .
. * // ( / .
B' `-'
%
I WISH SAN FRANCISCO HAD MORE GAY PEOPLE LIVING THERE
^^
^^ .. ..
[] []
.:[]:_ ^^ ,:[]:.
.: :[]: :-. ,-: :[]: :.
.: : :[]: : :`._ ,.': : :[]: : :.
.: : : :[]: : : : :-._ _,-: : : : :[]: : : :.
_..: : : : :[]: : : : : : :-._________.-: : : : : : :[]: : : : :-._
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!!!!!!!!!!!![]!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!![]!!!!!!!!!!!!!
^^^^^^^^^^^^[]^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^[]^^^^^^^^^^^^^
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~~^-~^_~^~/ \~^-~^~_~^-~_^~-^~_^~~-^~_~^~-~_~-^~_^/ \~^-~_~^-~~-
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I'M A BUBBLE BATH

IF YOU TAKE ME YOU ARE EITHER A WOMAN OR GAY
%
REMEMBER WHEN YOU SEE BULLYING TO TELL A GROWNUP
LIKE A TEACHER OR A PARENT OR POLICE OFFICER
SO YOU CAN GET YOUR WIMP ASS REALLY SINGLED OUT

AND BRUTALIZED IMMEDIATELY AFTERWARDS
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jorn
I NEVER GOT ANY ROYALTIES OR
ANYTHING FOR THAT "QUARK" THING
%
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(_/ )="^ ' -nathan-
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IT'S A GOOD THING THIS ASCII ARTIST

HELPED POINT OUT WHAT THE OBJECT THE
BABY IS HOLDING BECAUSE OTHERWISE WE
MIGHT HAVE THOUGHT IT WAS A FAGGOT WAND
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IF YOU BUNCH ME UP AND AND PUSH ME AGAINST THE GROUND

AND THEN HUMP ME IT'S LIKE HUMPING A REAL CORPSE
NOT THAT I WANT YOU TO DO THIS OR ANYTHING I'M JUST

A PILLOW
WAIT WHERE ARE YOU GOING
AW MAN
ANOTHER OPPORTUNITY LOST

%
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<`_,' , /\ / $905,186 SURE BUYS A LOT OF BIG DICE
` \/\,-/ `/ \/`\_/V\_/
( ._. ) ( .__. )
| | | |
\,---_| |_---./
Zeus ooOO(_) (_)OOoo
%
_____
/ \
(____/\ )
|___ U?(____
_\L. | \ ___
/ /"""\ /.-' | |\ | SOMETIMES I SITS AND THINKS
( / _/u | \___|_)_|
\| \\ / / \_(___ __) BUT USUALLY I'M JUST POOPING
| \\ / / | | |
| ) _/ / ) | |
_\__/.-' /___( | |
_/ __________/ \ | |
// / ( ) | |
( \__|___\ \______ /__|____|
\ (___\ |______)_/
\ |\ \ \ /
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MR \ \ )/ /__(
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/.' ^\_| |,-' /____/'"" ) `
) . / L\ \.-'_.-,`\_. TAKE A LOOK __ I JUST SHIT MYSELF
,_|_ _( \ .-' \_, ' __ AT MY DICK /_ \
. /__\ |_ --'""==-._/ _\_ _ /,##/ .--.
=' / ) /'"\\--) \ / \ ( ` \ \ \
/ `>-'_ ( -(/ /| '\ \ ( \ \_/ ) \/ .
/.-' |c | .--. I'M PISSING ON / `. |`._)/ ) | WOMEN HAVE
/ \ | / ( \ A TREE ) ) | | / / |AN EXTRA HOLE
\ ' > \ `) . _____________ \ / ) \ | \/ > ___________
| . | ) | / | Y___$ | |
) | <_/ | | |a888P^ / (-.
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/)
,.//,
/` `'` `\
: :
: :
: :
: : IF YOU DO NOT BOTHER THE PEAR
: ; THEN THE PEAR WILL NOT BOTHER YOU
: :
; ;
; ;
: :
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`._,.='``'-.,_,.`
cjr '-._ ~ _.-'
`'''`
%
_,^^. _,-', YOU KNOW WHAT WOULD BE GREAT ?!?!?!?!?!?!
`. `. __ _,-',-' A TOWER DEFENSE GAME WHERE I PLANT AND
\ (_ `,,-' UPGRADE TOWER DEFENSE GAMES TO DEFEND
`-...-'\ MY TOWER DEFENSE GAME AGAINST AN ONSLAUGHT
jrei _;_; .-. OF VARIOUS TYPES OF TOWER DEFENSE GAMES
%
_______ I USED A 1D6 TO DECIDE WHAT TO EAT TODAY
/\ o o o\
/o \ o o o\_______ FORTUNATELY I MADE MY SAVING THROW
< >------> o /|
\ o/ o /_____/o|
\/______/ |oo|
| o |o/
RSB |_______|/
P.S. SOMETHING IS OBVIOUSLY WRONG WITH THESE DICE CAN YOU SPOT IT
%
.=.,
;c =\
__| _/
.'-'-._/-'-._ BEATOFF POWER: ACTIVATE
/.. ____ \
/' _ [<_->] ) \ FORM OF
( / \--\_>/-/'._ )
\-;_/\__;__/ _/ _/ A DUDE BEATING OFF
'._}|==o==\{_\/
/ /-._.--\ \_
// / /| \ \ \
/ | | | \; | \ \
/ / | :/ \: \ \_\
/ | /.'| /: | \ \
| | |--| . |--| \_\
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|_(---'-| >-'-| | '-'
snd /_/ \_\
%
AFTER I BLOW MY LOAD ON YOUR FACE, IT'S GOING
TO LOOK LIKE A WINDSHIELD COVERED IN BIRD SHIT
.--. .--.
/ \/ \
| .-. .-. \
|/_ |/_ | \
|| `\|| `\| `----.
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%
WHY THE FUCK DIDN'T YOU STOP THEM JOHN
BECAUSE THEN YOU'D BE DEAD TOO ASSHOLE
_,__ .:
Darwin <* / | \
.-./ |. : :,
/ '-._/ \_
/ ' \
.' *: Brisbane
.-' ;
| |
\ /
| /
Perth \* __.--._ /
\ _.' \:. |
>__,-' \_/*_.-'
Melbourne
snd :--,
'/
%
o oo
o o o
___o o o PEOPLE WHO LIKE LICORCE SHOULD BE
/`._;o o BANNED TO A DESERT ISLAND SO THAT
| / o THE REST OF US NEED NOT PUT UP
;_ | WITH THAT DOGSHIT REJECT OF A CANDY
`-' jg
%
|
--====|====--
|
.-"""""-.
.'_________'.
/_/_|__|__|_\_\
;'-._ _.-';
,--------------------| `-. .-' |--------------------,
``""--..__ ___ ; ' ; ___ __..--""``
jgs `"-// \\.._\ /_..// \\-"`
\\_// '._ _.' \\_//
`"` ``---`` `"`
I WONDER IF VIRGIN AMERICA COULD MAKE ITS PASSENGERS

LOOK LKE BIGGER RETARDED FAGGOT SUCKERS IN THEIR COMMERCIALS
BECAUSE THAT SURE MAKES ME WANT TO BUY THEIR STUPID SERVICE
%
,,,,,
\ e e\
C _\/ |\\,
)\_) \_ / I WENT TO BJ'S WITH MY DAD
_/|/_ _// SO I DID NOT ORDER THE BJ
,'\ ~ /'-,_/ \
/ \_/ / / (INSTEAD I ORDERED THE HJ)
, | \_._,-"
( < _'
| \ \
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_/ ) |
|// | '
' ) |
| | |
._., - |.,_ //
_\-' )___|__|_ '-._
b'ger /____\__\
%
(
(_)
###
(#c _\|/_
#\ wWWWw
\ \-. (/. .\)
/\ /`\/\ /\
|\/ \_) (_| YAY I'M IN THE BIG APPLE
`\.' ; ; ;`\ ON A BUSINESS TRIP
`\; ; . ;/\
`\; ; ;| \ THE CITY THAT NEVER SLEEPS, ETC.
; .' ' ; /
|_.' ; | /)
( ''._;'`
| ' . ;
|.-' .:) OH GOD IT'S BEEN TEN MINUTES AND
| | I ALREADY WANT TO RUN SCREAMING
( .' : |
|,- .:: |
| ,-' .;|
jgs_/___,_.:_\_
[I_I_I_I_I_I_] CROUCH, PRESS E ON CORPSE TO DEVOUR
| __________ |
| || | | || |
_| ||_|__|_|| |_
/=--------------=\
/ \
| |
%
xxxxxxx
x xxxxxxxxxxxxx x
x xxxxxxxxxxx x
xxxxxxxxx IS THERE SUCH A THING AS
x xxxxxxx x BACKSPATTER RADIATION
xxxxx
x xxx x
x
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
xxxxxxxxxxxxx xxxxxxxxxxxxx
xxxxxxxxxxx xxxxxxxxxxx
xxxxxxxxx xxxxxxxxx
xxxxxx xxxxxx
xxx xxx SERIOUSLY ASKING HERE PEOPLE
x x
x
%
I'VE NEVER DRIVEN A CAR WITH
A TRIPOMETER THAT ACTUALLY WORKED
___ /
/ (`\\ ,
c` 9\9 . '
___.-| -_"/
/\===\|_/===\
/`< __ >/ __|,\
b'ger( - | '|/o| '|- \
%
______________________________________________________
__________|___________,_______________________________
__________|__________//,______________________________
__________|__________\|/;..___________________________
__________|___________\\//\,._________________________
__________|___________/ '\/_________________________
__________|__________/,* _ |_________________________ POLLY
__________|_________( ) ( ) (_________________________ WANNA
__________|__________\( " \________________________ CRACKA
__________|____________) \\______________________
__________|___________( \\\___________________
__________|____________\ ( \\ \\\_________________
__________|____________(\ \\ \\ \\\_______________
__________|_____________\\ \\ \\ \\\_____________
__________|______________\\ \\ \\ \\____________
__________|_______________\\ \\ \\ \\___________
__________|________________\-\ \\\ \\\\___________
__________|_________________\ /\_ \\\ \\___________
__________|__________________(( \-___- \\\__________
__________|___________________\ \_______ \\\_________
__________|____________________\ \_______ \\\________
__________|_____________________\ \________\\\_______
__________|______________________\ \________\\\______
__________|_______________________\ \________\\______
__________|________________________(--)_______________
__________|___________________________________________
__________|___________________________________________
bni
%
______________ \c<
( ) |*.**.**.*|| -.% _______.--, _______.--, ___|'_*.-&
o=< o(-) | * * * || |_\% ~( *.**.*{c .% ~( -&&- {c .& ~( > *{c
|V |v |_*__*__*_|| - ** | |__| ,= | |\ \__| ,= | | |____|*.
/ > |\ B__,-._MK__|,-._! /_/_| |_|\_\ J |_\_\ |_|\_\ J |_|_|/_|_|*
ejm98 `-' `-'
\c< ___ o ___

___.--, ___|'_*.-& __/)[]\_ <=\ __/)[]\_
{c .& ~( > *{c .` o (_,.__,__) \ /~ __(_,.__,._)__
_| ,= | | |____|*. = | <=\ `'__/)[]\_( )__/][]\`' `_/)[]\_
|_|\_\ J |_|_|/_|_|* J \< ~ (_,.__,._) (_,.MK,._) (_,.__,._)
ejm98 ( )|( ) `' `' `' `' `' `'
IF IT WASN'T ALREADY OBVIOUS THEN THIS IS THE PROOF: PARADES ARE GAY
%
__________
/\____;;___\
| / / HERE'S A WONDERFUL TREASURE CHEST
`. ())oo() .
|\(%()*^^()^\ I SURE HOPE IT'S NOT TRAPPED
%| |-%-------|
% \ | % )) |
% \|%________|
ejm97 %%%%
%
o _ d|
_/) 'd$| THE ONLY THING THAT WOULD MAKE THIS GAME MORE FUN
_/| d$p| IS MORE EXPLICIT NUDITY
'd$p | o
_o/`_____|$p__|_`|\________
/ | |p / \ /
/ / \ | o/`@ /
/ | `-| /
/____________|_______/_\___/
pb
%
_..--~~--.._
.~ . ~ . ~. CLAMS ARE GROSS UNLESS THEY'RE DEEP FRIED
/_.--._.--._.--._\
\ () /
'.--._.--._.--.' BUT THEN THAT'S TRUE OF DOG TURDS TOO
jgs `=.,____,.=`
%
.-===-.
| . . | THIS IS MY CHAIR
| .'. |
()_____() THERE ARE MANY CHAIRS LIKE IT
||_____||
jgs W W BUT THIS ONE IS MINE
%
\\\\\//////
.-""-. \\\\\\//////
/ _ _ \ [[[[[[[]]]]]]]]
|(_)(_)| /////////\\\\\\
( /\ ) //// ~0 ( 0~ \\\\ I THINK HUMAN FLESH IS DELICIOUS
L====J //(, 8-_\-8 ,)\\
`-..-` //|\ .===. /|\\ THEREFORE I WILL LIKELY DIE OF
\\// \ '===' /* SOME HORRIBLE TRANSMISSABLE DISEASE
|| \__.__/
_.=||=._ .---'@ @'---.
/| || |\ / '@ @' \
_||_ / . Y . _/\
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| _) _.' | --:-- | \ \
jgs \___)-' | --:-- | \ \
%
,.=,,==. ,,_
_ ,====, _ |I|`` || `|I `|
|Ì| || `==,|`` ^^ `` | ONCE THERE WAS A CASTLE
| `` ^^ ||_,===TT`==,,_ |
|,==Y``Y==,,__| \L=_-`' +J/` END OF STORY
\|=_ ' -=#J/..-|=_- =|
|=_ -;-='`. .|=_- =|----T--,
|=/\ -|=_-. . |=_-/^\ =||-|-|::|____
|=|| -|=_-. . |=_-| | =|-|-||::\____
|=LJ -|=_-. . |=_-|_| =||-|-|:::::::
|=_ -|=_-_. |=_- =|-|-||:::::::
|=_ -|=//^\. |=_- =||-|-|:::::::
, |/&_,_-|=|| | |=_- =|-|-||:::::::
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.___________.
| |
___________. | | /~\ |
/ __ __ /| | _ _ |_| |
/ /:/ /:/ / | !________|__!
/ /:/ /:/ / | |
/ /:/ /:/ / |____________!
/ /:/ /:/ / |
/ /:/ /:/ / |
/ ~~ ~~ / | IF YOU DROP ME IN A BATHTUB
|~~~~~~~~~~| | THEN YOU WILL HAVE AN INTERESTING DAY
| :: | /
| == | /
| :: | /
| :: | /
| :: @ | /
!__________!/
%
_ _
//\ /\\
// \______ / \\
// / \ \\ OPEN WINDOWS MAKE
// / \ \\ FOR HAPPY BEDFELLOW
// / sSSSs \ \\
//_ / sSSSsSs \ _\\
//`_\ Ss. . s /_,\\
// \` Ss\ _ /Ss , / \\
// / \ \sSs_) (_sSs/ / \ \\
// / \_|_ \ / _|_/ \ \\
\\ / sS\ _^_ /ss \ //
\\/ ) ( \//
`==========================='
drx/ejm
%
.,~--.
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/((((\_ `-.
\_ o`-.__ `=, IF I MAKE MYSELF DARKER PERHAPS
/`. |\`.__/\,-)/\) MEN WILL FINALLY LIKE ME
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(|)
_____.___.|_|. TAX SUBSIDIES ARE AWESOME WE SHOULD HAVE MORE OF THESE
| / \ |===|
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| | | | | || ||
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||| A A A | , |
||| M M M | | wtx
---------------------
%
A
_,-' `-._
_-'_________`-_
``---\_ _/---``
(_ - _) THIS DRAWING COMPLETELY ISN'T RACIST AT ALL NO SIRREE
\_._/ 8
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\ | / 8
|\ | /| 8
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gnv'-'-'
%
____ ____
_,',--.`-. _,',--.`-.
<_ ( () ) > ( <_ ( () ) > I'VE NEVER HAD A THREEWAY
`-:__;,-' \ À:__:,-'
\ / \
(( )
\-'
\
\
( ) -Shimrod
`-'"`-----'
%
.,
O~.~
(/\~~ DID YOU HEAR THAT RAY BRADBURY DIED
)J WHILE ATTEMPTING TO TRANSIT THE SUN
_.|)._
.-'. ;) .`-.
\.\ ' ` './
'--..--'
kOs
%
.-.
(/^\)
(\ /) I LIKE WRITING WEBCOMICS ABOUT
.-'-. BEING A HACKER AND GEEK CULTURE !!!!!!!!!!
/(_I_)\
\\) (//
/ \
\ | /
\|/
/|\ NEVER TOUCHING A VAGINA AGAIN
\|/
jgs /Y\
%
_____
______/ \______
______/ \______
___/ \___
___/ _________ \___
__/ ______/ \___ \__
/ ____/ / _ \
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/ _/'-, `---._ / / \_ \
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\___ ___/
\______ ______/
Targon (/) \______ ______/
\_____/
MOJANG'S NEW GAME IS GOING TO BE CALLED 0X10^C !!!!!
PROVING THAT SNAGGLE-TOOTHED FUCKING FAGNERDS SHOULDN'T

TRY TO COME UP WITH FUCKING RETARDED NAMES THAT SHOW
THEY HAVE NO IDEA WHAT THEY'RE TALKING ABOUT
%
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|---| I CALL IT A CRACKBERRY !!!!!!!!!!!!11111
|[_]|
|:::| RECYCLING JOKES FROM 2005 HERE PEOPLE
|:::|
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WHO IN THE MARVEL COMIC UNIVERSE NAMES THE ALTERNATE UNIVERSES

WHY COULDN'T WE BE EARTH-8675309
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||__________|||_____________||||_____________|||.'________|__________|
''----------'''------------------------------'''----------''
(o)LGB (o)
WHERE DO I SIGN UP TO BE A PUNDIT

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____________________________
AAK / /\
/ _/ /\ BOSONS ?!?!?!?! FERMIONS ?!?!?!?!?!
/ / \/ ANYONS ?!!?!?!!?!?!?!??!?!?!?!?!?!?
/ /\
/___________________________/ / I PROPOSE A NEW CLASS OF PARTICLE
\___________________________\/ WHICH OBEYS EVEN DIFFERENT
\ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ STATISTICS CALLED ***FUNYONS***
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OH RIGHT `-'
THE DRINKING
%
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|'-----'|
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.--------------------
|
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| / c/-} // "200 MORE FUCK PUSSY ..."
| ( ,--)T-. // "200 MORE ANAL ..."
| `/ ,_) )\__,-/ "200 MORE SQUIRT :-)"
| / /. \'_,-"<
| / / ) _`).__
| _/,' ( ""-."-.
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|o!O '"-'"""----"
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+-----------------------------------------------------------------------------+
| | |\ -~ / \ / |
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| | /| | | 2 3 4 | /~~~~~\ | /| |_| .... ......... |
| | ~|~ | % | | | ~J~ | | ~|~ % |_| .... ......... |
+-----------------------------------------------------------------------------+
BM
YOU GOT YOUR HAX IN MY LAG !!!!!!
TWO GREAT BULLSHIT COMPLAINTS THAT GO GREAT TOGETHER

%
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// FINALLY GOOGLE+ HAS TRENDING TOPICS
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( THIS IS AN AMERICAN INDIAN PEACEPIPE
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| || | || I THINK THIS IS SUPPOSED TO BE TOAST
| || | ||
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\ / /
| / /
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| \ \ THIS IS A COMPLETELY ACCURATE
\ | | TOPOLOGICAL MAP OF TEXAS
\_ | |
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POINT ME AT THE ENEMY AND I WILL TURN THEM INTO EX-PEOPLE

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AMC 2000 / /
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___/ / / \
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/ / ___/ /
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/ / ___ / / THIS IS A THING
/ / /\ / /
/ / / \/__/
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_____
| D I HAVE NO ANUS AND I MUST SHIT
| |
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o_, (o) _o_ o o o
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ARE YOU SURE THAT MARTIAL ARTS AREN'T GAY

%
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THESE ARE THE FLOWERS AND

NOT THE MUSICAL INSTRUMENT
%
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88 ___
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|________/
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88 .8.
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.-------.
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=(_|_______|_)=
|:::::::::| V. IMPORTANT: I LIKE TO ABBREVIATE
|:::::::[]| THE WORD "VERY" AS "V."
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________________________
| |
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| . : . \\. | COMMAND OF THE INTERNATIONAL SPACE STATION
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%
,,,I SPELL THE WORD "CALENDAR" CORRECTLY
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CB ''''
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-------------------------------------------------------------------------,
[] [] [] [] [] [] [] [] [] [] [] [] [] [] [] [] [] [] [] [] [] [] [] [] [
-----------------------------------------------------------------------/
\|/ | O - ^^ | | _ _ |
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--------------------------------------------------------------_/
[] [] [] [] [] [] [] [] [] [] [] [] [] [] [] [] [] [] [] [] ['
------------------------------------------------------------'
ABBOTT AND COSTELLO MEET SOME ASSHOLES (1942)

%
\ OKAY ALL SET UP WITH ANOTHER
\ THREE MONTHS OF NEEDLES AND HEROIN
___ \
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|`---`| \
|MmmmM| .--. () YEAH, INSULIN
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MY BALLS HAVE A CACHE POISONING EXPLOIT

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|| || || || || || || || ||
|| || || || || || || || ||
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`.____.' || `.____.' || `.____.' ||
|| || ||
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%
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( (`-`(-') ) TO BE PROBLEM (SETTING ON ME)
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_________________________________
|| | | | | | | | | | ||
|| | | | | | | | | | ||
|| | | | |__|__| | | | || I AM A MARIMBA
|| | |__|--' '--|__| | ||
|| |__| |__| || AND DEFINITELY NOT A XYLOPHONE
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(_) THIS IS CHIEFLY WHAT FARTS ARE MADE OUT OF
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_________________
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| (__) | PRETTY SURE IF SOMEONE WOULD JUST CRANK CALL
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| .-----. .--. | BIT BAD THEN THAT WOULD JUST STOP ALL OF
| | | / \ | THIS UNPLEASANTNESS IN SYRIA
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| / o
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%
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// /( )\ // |(_)| /(_
// \(_)/ // |( )| \(_ () () ()
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/ \ / `-.
| | ___.-' /
__|___|__ | | | | | |`-.__
| _ _ | |_|_|_|_|_|_|_|_|
_\_| |_| | | | | | | | | | |
\ _/| | |_|_|_|_|_|_|_|_|
_|/ /___\ | __|_______________|
| _ _ < | | / \ | | | | | | `-.
____| |_|_ |_| | \_|<__/_|_|_|_|_|_|_\_/
\_____] _ \| _ | , \| | | | | | |/\_ | |
_\_|_| |_|</|_| | \, /( ,/ _/|_|_|_|_|_|_|\ >_|_|
>][]_| _ _ | _ )$//(_ ___|_|_|_|_| | | |\__\ / \_
/[][]_| |_| _.-" $(()/ |__________.'_|_|_|_|_|_\_
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|_[][ | |_| \ |_ || |[_] [_< __|\ |_|_|_|_|_|/|
|_[][]\ _ \/_ || |/\] [_\ |_ | | <\| | | |
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/| |_| /.-.-.\ | |)\| |[_] [_] /_.| | | | | | `-.
|_[][]_| /(-)=(-)\ /|| |[_] [_] [_]| |_|_|_|_|_|_|
|_[][]_ /.'\ - /`.\ / / / |[_] [_] [_]| | | | | | | |
|__[]__ \__/`-'\__/____/ / / _|[_] [_] [_]| |_|_|_|_|_|_|
_____/ / __ __ _____/ \___/____/____/____/____/____/
/ // \_/ \/
/ / \__ __/ ____ ___ _
/ / \ / / _ \ /_ | _/ |_
/ / / | \( ) | | | ___ /_ _/
| / /\ / | / / | | / __| / /
/ \ \|////[]\\\ / /_ | | _) \ / / __
\$ |~/ \ / \ /_____\/____\/___/ /_/ /_/
\_| \__/ \
U| | \ \ _____ _._
/| | \ /| / __ \ [_ _] _
| \_| \ _/ | | | |/ ___ _ __ | | _ _ _ __ _ | |
|[]=\ |=[]\ | |___ / -_\|` \| || \/ ||` _)\ \| |
| | \ \ \_____/\___)|_/\||_/`.__.'|_| \_ |
| | \ \ ______) /
| | \ \ .__ \______/
| / \ \ \_'`.__.--.
) / \ ( \ / )`-.
_/[]=\ /=[]\_ >>`-'<< .-'
(___/)/ \(\___) jro "' "' `-'
I LIKE REFERRING TO "SF" AS "SPECULATIVE FICTION" BECAUSE

I'M A BORDERLINE RETARDED ASSHOLE WHO LIKES MAKING POINTS
BY USING TERMS IN NON-STANDARD WAYS RATHER TNAN JUST
FUCKING MAKING THE POINT I WANT TO MAKE IN THE FIRST PLACE
%
______
___.--------'------`---------.____
_.---'----------------------------------`---.__
.'___=]===========================================
,-----------------------..__/.' >--.______ _______.---'
]====================<==||(__) .' `------'
`-----------------------`' ----.___--/
/ /---' `/
/_______(______________________/
`-------------.--------------.'
\________|_.-' JB
THE BBC AMERICA CHANNEL JUST CONSTANTLY PLAYING RERUNS OF STAR TREK:
THE NEXT GENERATION IS US AMERICANS FINAL REVENGE FOR BURNING DOWN
WASHINGTON, D.C. DURING THE WAR OF 1812
HA HA SUCKERS JOKE'S ON YOU
ALSO THAT MILLIONS VS. BILLIONS VS. TRILLIONS THING:
HA HA SUCKERS WE WON THAT ONE TOO

%
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____^/\___^--____/\____O______________/\/\---/\___________---______________
/\^ ^ ^ ^ ^^ ^ '\ ^ ^ ---
-- - -- - - --- __ ^
-- __ ___-- ^ ^ RC -- __
IS THIS EARTH-1 OR EARTH-2 (I'M NOT SURE WHICH EARTH THIS IS)
SO WAIT ARE WE ALLOWED TO RETCON OUR OWN LIVES
BECAUSE IF I HAD TO DO ONE THING IN MY LIFE OVER AGAIN I'D HAVE

FINISHED WHACKING OFF LAST NIGHT TO MYA LUANNA AND NOT JADE MARCELA
OTHER THAN THAT NOTHING TO COMPLAIN ABOUT I GUESS

%
___
.'---'. I THINK WE SHOULD MAKE SOME STEAMPUNK PORNO
| |
.-------.
_.-'-------'-._
.'_______________'.
.'''''''''''''''''''''.___
_/-|:::::::::::::::::::::| | .-()
\-|o O .-. | O |(o) ||
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(o/ | ( O-) ___ `-' |====.| / \ || (_o)____)
\\ | _____`-' | -| |.''.|| | (o) | || ||//
\\.-' | '-.| - | |____|| \ / || ||/
.' \ | / '.-| | -- |' .;:;.__||_____||_____/
/ \ | / \=======|'..'| .;': ';.----_....._--'
' -._ \ | / _.- ' _____|____| .;'.' ';.'\ | /`.
: '-. .'"'. .-' : |;;;;|;:' .' / \ | / \
;--------| (o) |--------;==========' .:' : '-. .'"'. .-' :
: _.- '._.' -._ : |----|.;' ;----| (o) |----;
. _.' / | \ '._ .______|====|;' : .-' '._.' '-. :
;:;\ / | \ /:;:;:;:;:;:;' \ / | \ /
LGB `. / | \ .' ' / | \ '
` . _ _|_ _ .' ' . | . '
IN OTHER NEWS:
GET A GUN AND PUT ME OUT OF MY MISERY

%
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/~~~|#|]|=\|---\__
|-=_____________ |\\ , O O
I|_/,-.-.-.-.-,-.\_|='( T/\ /\=,---.
( o )( o )( o ) \ U /\ /\ Ò' cww
`-'-'-'-'-`-'
CAN I HAVE A NAPKIN
OKAY TOWEL
OKAY HOSE
OKAY BULLDOZER
SEND FEMA
WAIT
YYYYYYYYYYYYYYEAH OKAY WE'RE GOING TO NEED THE PRESIDENT TO

FEDERALIZE THE CALIFORNIA NATIONAL GUARD (PROBABLY OREGON'S AND
NEVADA'S TOO)
OH WAIT NEVER MIND IT WAS JUST GAS

%
_.-'~~~~~~`-._
/ || \
/ || \ "DARTH VADER" IS KIND OF A GAY NAME
| || | DON'T YOU THINK
| _______||_______ |
|/ ----- \/ ----- \|
/ ( ) ( ) \
/ \ ----- () ----- / \
/ \ /||\ / \
/ \ /||||\ / \ I MEAN I DON'T EVEN REALLY LIKE STAR TREK
/ \ /||||||\ / \
/_ \o========o/ _\
`--...__|`-._ _.-'|__...--'
| `' | -U
%
.-""""-.
/` (_)`\ FEED ME YOUR COINS
| .-""-. |
; /#.--. \ ; OR I WILL KEY YOUR FUCKING CAR
\ \/ \/ /
| =\\= |
| |
| ++++ |
\ /
'-. .-'
||
||
||
||
||
jgs ||
||
%
__ _.--..--._ _
.-' _/ _/\_ \_'-. POP QUIZ !!!!!
|__ / _/\__/\_ \__|
|___/\_\__/ \___| IS THIS A:
\__/
\__/ [ ] PALM TREE
\__/
\__/ OR A
____\__/___
. - ' ' -. [ ] DICK
/ \
~~~~~~~ ~~~~~ ~~~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~~~
~~~ ~~~~~ ~!~~ ~~ ~ ~ ~ ~pjb
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Y8 X' __'"`_.' |=| | . / 8/ | THIS IS A PLASMA TOY
Yb'.' / . \ |=| \_ -X. d/ \ AND YOU'RE A FUCKING MORON
Y/ | -x-' |=|\ `.'/ dP`-._| FOR OWNING ONE
| | '\ |=|.x- -X- .8P`-._(
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|____//=======\\____| THIS IS A FUNNY-LOOKING
gpyy //=========\\ CHRISTMAS TREE
%
_==._. .=..==
!!!!!!!`~- -~``'!!!!
'!!!: !!!!
!!!! .!!!!
'!!!. . .!!!!'
'!!!!. :!!!: .!!!!'
'!!!!::.. .:!/~\!:. ..::!!!!'
'!!!!!!!!!!!!!!\_/!!!!!!!!!!!!'
'!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!'
'!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!'
'!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!'
'!!!!!!!!!!!!!'
. . '!!!!!!!!!!!!
/ \ !!!!!!!!!!!!; I HIGHLY RECOMMEND WATCHING JOHN CARMACK'S
\ | / !!!!!!!!!!!!! 3.5-HOUR QUAKECON 2012 KEYNOTE SPEECH
~=+=~ :!!!!!!!!!!!!!: SO YOU TOO CAN LOSE ALL WILL TO LIVE
Y !!!!!!' '!!!!!!
| .!!!!!! !!!!!!:
!!!!!!' '!!!!!!
!!!!!! !!!!!!
!!!!!! !!!!!!
.VVVVVV. .VVVVVV.
%
.
,' `.
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/_|__| `.' `,' `. THIS IS ME DUMPING ALL MY SHIT ON YOUR LAP
| | `.' `,'|
|_,-._|=====,-.=`.' |
--- '-' ----- `-' --.`:.
\.,';.,,
jrei \':';,.:..
%
(
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______(____
(___________) AS IT TURNS OUT CAULK SMELLS
/ \ A LOT BETTER THAN CAULK REMOVER
/ \
| | NOTE: NOT COCK
____\ /____
()____'.__ __.'____()
jgs .'` .'```'. `-.
().'` `'.()
%
_ _______ _
/_\ / \ /_\
=|= / // \ =|=
| |
| |
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__[_]___\_______/___(_)__
(_________________________)
| ___ _|___~___|_ ___ | I WON THE RAFFLE GRAND PRIZE
||_~_|| .-------. ||_~_||
| ___ | \ / | ___ | NAMELY, A LACK OF SELF-ESTEEM
||_~_|| (\_____/) ||_~_||
____| ___ |__|=====|__| ___ |____
|/ \| || || |/ \|lc
| |
%
__
," ".
_ .---. _ /# \ WHILE SOME PARENTS CLAIM THAT PLAYING
,' `. ,' `.." ". ,--. WITH HELIUM BALLOONS SENDS A BAD MESSAGE
|# `/ # (# ) / )
`. | ) (`.__/ / I STILL SAY THAT HELIUM IS NOT ADDICTIVE
`. \ ( )/'/ /
`.\ /) (( / /
`. .'( )y /
>_<\ `._.'( /
/ ) /'-`.->,-' SIGNED,
( ( ( (
) ) ) hjw A SPOKESMAN FOR THE HELIUM INDUSTRY
(
%
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]~,"-.-~~[
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PMH ~~----~~
%
.---. .---.
+---------------------------+
| | ____ __ | |
| | |.--- / \ | |
| | +---. |__ | | | THIS IS AN AIRCRAFT CARRIER
| | ___|| __| | | |
| | \__/ \__/ | | ALSO ASCII ART LOOKS LIKE SHIT
| | | |
| | | |
| | | |
| | | |
| | | |
| _A_ _A_ |
|__/|#|\__| |__/|#|\__|
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| | |___| |___| || |
| | x: |I| x || |
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| : | |!/| // \!
| : | |!/ ==()== !
| : | |! // !
| : | |! !
|| : | |! !
|| : | |! +---+ !
| | : | |! ! ! !
| | : | |! ! ! !
| | : | |! /+---+\ !
|======== : | -------------|
| || : | ========|
| || : | || // |
| || : | ||-=C===K|
| || : | || \\ |
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| | : | |
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| | : | |
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| | ___||:__| | | |
| | \__/ :\__/ | |
+---------------------------+
\ FORRESTAL /
\_________________________/
%
_______________________________________________________________________
|||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | |
| 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9
| |
| SIZE OF MY FAT DICK |
|_______________________________________________________________________|
%
____ ___
,' __ ``.._..'' `.
`.`. ``-.___..-. : HAVING NEVER HEARD A U2
,---..____________________>/ _,'_ | SONG ALL THE WAY THROUGH
`-:._,:_|_|_|_|_|_|_|_|_|_|_|.:SSt:.:|-|(/ | IN MY ENTIRE LIFE I'M ALREADY
_.' ) ____ '-' ; FUCKING TIRED OF ALL OF THEM
( `-'' __``-' /
``-....-'' ``-..-''
%
#################### ,)--. I'M A BEATOFFIST
#################### __/____|__
#################### = = "/ | _____ ____ _
#################### | - D | / __ | / __ \ /
########## ######## |__- | | | | | | | |__| | | |
######### ####### |, |\,____ | \ \_| | | __ | >
########## ######## ,-/|__/ / . | / / | | | | | | | |
########## ######### .' \\/_/ , \ | |_| |_| |_| |_| \_
####### ####### \\ // _ | \ __/ |
###### # ####### >/ \) ' \_ \ \,/ |
###### ## ########__ _/ \ ) </ >___ _|_ __|
####### ######'---/__o> | / /----------|
###### #######| | \| o- _-__O/ |
###### #######| ---/ /| / ) |
####### #######| /___\/_______/ |
######## #######| /'''/ / |
######## ########| / / / |
######## #########| / / / |
######## ##########| |(_ / , |
####### ##########| \ |(_ > |
| \ | \ |
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|_______|___/\______________b'ger |
|+ \/ |
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/+ / |
/_. ' |_____________________
%
_ _ _ _
//|\ //|\ //|\ //|\
c_"/ c_"/ c_"/ c_"/
__/\__ /\__ /\ /\
/ \ /\ \ /\/\ /\/\
/____\ /____\ /____\ /____\
S-v /l ll l\ ll
LET'S HAVE AN APPARENTLY SERIOUS CHILDISH SLAPFIGHT ON TWITTER

ABOUT WHETHER IT SHOULD BE WRITTEN "MATH" OR "MATHS" (APPARENTLY
COMPLETELY IGNORANT OF THE CONVENTIONS BETWEEN COUNTRIES AND
HOW UTTERLY FUCKING BORING THIS TOPIC IS)
MEANWHILE LET'S STILL PRETEND LIKE WE'RE ACTUALLY SERIOUS PEOPLE
WRITING SERIOUS BOOKS ABOUT SERIOUS TOPICS ON PHYSICS AND SCIENCE
WHILE BEING TOO STUPID TO ACTUALLY NOT REALIZE THIS IS POINTLESS
NEXT UP: ALUMINUM OR ALUMINIUM !?!?!?!?? TWITTERFIGHT !!!!!1!!11!

%
/\
AMC / \ CAT BARFED ON BED
/ \
/ \ REPEAT, CAT BARFED ON BED
/ \
/ \ GO TO DEFCON 2, INITIATE SNAP COUNT
/ /\/\ /\/\ \
/ / \/ \ \ LAUNCH THE STEALTH BOMBERS
\/ \/
%
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____^/\___^--____/\____O______________/\/\---/\___________---______________
/\^ ^ ^ ^ ^^ ^ '\ ^ ^ ---
-- - -- - - --- __ ^
-- __ ___-- ^ ^ -- __ RC
FOLKS WE JUST LANDED A PROBE ON MARS !!!!!! ISN'T THAT EXCITING ?!?!?!
I GUESS IT WOULD BE IF WE HADN'T DONE IT AT LEAST FIVE TIMES BEFORE
BUT IT'S A ***DIFFERENT*** PROBE AND WE DID IT ***DIFFERENTLY*** !!!11
DIARRHEA
%
/|,
)
(,
( ( )
_______\__/_______
`--.._ _..--'
`\ /'
||
|| pb
||
THANK GOD THE OLYMPICS ARE OVER
BECAUSE NOW I CAN NOT GIVE A SHIT
ABOUT SPORTS IN THE NORMAL WAY
%
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\ / \ /
--o-- `\\ //' .____-/.\-____.
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~o~~~~~~~--------______-~~~~~-_/_/ | . | \_\_-~~~~~-______--------~~~~~~~o~
' ` + + + (X)(X) ~--\__ __/--~ (X)(X) + + + ' `
(X) `/.\' ~ `/.\' (X)
"\_/" "\_/"
MY DICK HAS A NATO REPORTING NAME

%
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JUGGLING MY BALLS IS NP-HARD
____ _ _ ____
| _ \ _____ | \ | | _ \
| |_) | |_____| | \| | |_) |
| __/ |_____| | |\ | __/
|_| |_| \_|_|
tQn
%
IS IT POSSIBLE TO GIVE MYSELF AIDS
\
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\_____/ ___/ \ \ _/ \
______/_/___|_| ) \ /
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b'ger,,,'-----^--',,,,,,',,|_,,\_ ,,\/,,
%
DO WOMEN HAVE SOULS
OR IS IT JUST TURTLES
ALL THE WAY DOWN
_ _{Ss
//\\_/_/\Ss
_/_| \_/ \_ pb
%
_____
/ \ DO YOU KNOW WHERE YOUR CHILDREN ARE
/ @ @ \
/\ ==w== /\ BECAUSE IF THEY'RE OUT AT NIGHT I WILL TOTALLY FUCK THEM
/ //|| ||\\ \
/ || || \ BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT MANATEES DO (LOOK IT UP)
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%
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/_/\_.___\ SUCK A DICK
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%
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/ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _\
| PLONK |="
| MACHINE | I WILL NEVER TOUCH A WOMAN
| |
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_(_ ((c` .( LITTLE MISS MUFFET
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------------------------------------------------------------------
%
.------. .------.
.' //`. .' `.
/ // \ / \
| // : | ......:::::
: // | :::::'''''' |
\ // / \ /
`._// _.' `._ _.' AsH
`"----"' `"----"'
MY LEFT NUT IS A SECULAR HUMANIST

BUT MY RIGHT NUT IS A RATIONAL ATHEIST
%
(
/ \ DADS WHO GET IT GET GO-GURT
( )
`"'
shimrod
%
.
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|X\
XX\ _ O_/
XX\ o (#)==_/\
XX\ /\/
XX\ /
XX\.
XX|
ejm97 X|
OH GREAT YOU CAN PLAY FUCKING TENNIS IN GRAND THEFT AUTO V
I SURE HOPE YOUR COUSIN ROMAN CALLS YOU ON YOUR CELL CONSTANTLY TOO
%
____
/(( ))
( )6 6( )
(_) l (_)
\ <> )
____) (_____
( \____/ )
) ( )( ) (
/ / \ / \ \
/ / \ / \ \
\ \ )==( / /
\ \ / \ / /
'\\/ \//'
'|\` '|\`
\ /
\ /
) (
jgs/akg / \ IF YOU PUT YOUR WIENER IN A WOMAN'S COOTER
/ \ THEN LATER ON A BABY POPS OUT
/ \
/ \ THAT'S WHY I WON'T GO NEAR THE DAMN THINGS
/ \
/ \ ALSO THE PROBLEMATIC LACK OF EVER SHUTTING UP
`-...., ,..-'
`-..-'
%
;
:
:
:
:-.
' '. ___
.. '/ \
\ ' '. :\
: '.: \ THESE GLOVES ARE GHEY
: : :
\ : :
\ / : NOTE: USING THE WORD "GHEY" IS
.''. / : GAYER THAN ACTUAL GAYNESS
: '...' : BUT NOT AS GAY AS "TOTES"
'.__.-' \
'._ :
'--.__ :
':-- '. AND TYPING "TOTES GAY" IS MUCH GAYER
.'\' : THEN ACTUALLY SUCKING DICK
/ . : OR TAKING IT UP THE ASS
/ . .' ;
_..-' L : :
:__.--' \ : :
.'\: /
'-': /\
[WILU] : : :
: : :
: : :
/ / :
/ /: :
'.' : :
''
%
_____ _____ ____
|_ _| ____| _ \
| | | _| | | | | IDEAS WORTH SUCKING
| | | |___| |_| |
|_| |_____|____/
tQn
%
_.-----._
.'.-'''''-.'._
//`.:#:' `\\\
;; ' ;;'.__.===============,
|| || __ )
;; ;;.' '==============='
\\ ///
jgs ':.._____..:'~ YOU MAY FIND MY ANIMAL MAGNETISM UNCOMFORTABLE
`'-----'` (MAGNETS IN MY PANTS)
%
_o_o__o_o_
/ /| |\ \
/ / /| |\ \ \
/ / / | | | \ \ OH GOD OH GOD
/ / / | | \ \ \ WE'RE ALL BEING ELECTROCUTED
/ / / | | \ \ \
/ / / | | \ \ \
/ / / | | | \ \
/ / / | | \ \ \
| | \ | | \ | \
| \ \ | | | \ |
/ | \ | | / / /
| \ | | | \ | |
\ / \ | | | / \
/ \ | | | / \ /
\ | / | | | / |
/ | \ | | \ \ |
| | |_o_ | | / | \
/ \ | | | _o_\ _o_/ _o_|
\_o_ /_o_ > > | | | /_\ /_\
| /_\ < < < < | |
/ \ | | CEH
%
. .
|\____/|
(\|----|/)
\ 0 0 / HEEEEEEEEEEY WANNA COME INTO MY MAZE
| |
___/\../\____ I TOTALLY WON'T HURT YOU OR ANYTHING
/ -- \
/ \ / \
| \___/___/( |
\ /| }{ | \ )
\ ||__}{__| | |
\ |;;;;;;;\ \ / \_______
\ /;;;;;;;;| [,,[|======'
|;;;;;;/ | /
||;;|\ |
snd ||;;/| /
\_|:||__|
\ ;|| /
|= || =|
|= /\ =|
/_/ \_\
%
___
/ _\
| /\_|
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----'-.
|#\#)_,_ VROOM
)##\__ _\__.-.
- .- (###) '---. `. /
- __\____`.#$ ) L(| /
.'__//\ \#)`-._.' / \\==. /
/_/_//\_\_ /#/ ### / //\\ \
|(________(##)___/-' '| (_) |
____\___/_________________\___/________________________________________VK
%
[ |\';c 'c :',;,'";,': ,-- ==- ,
] | c ;, : '"-"' ; '~ ,-
[ | c_/;'- ', ,' ~'
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| | c ,=. ^ / . |
c |-=----'._.--._-==-=-==:-,-=\ : /=-,.,:.=-==
] | \ '.__=-. \ .' ,-.
[ |-. ( ' e\ | : / _ \ COMING SOON TO A THEATER
';__ \ , ' . .-'-^ /, | \ / \ \ NEAR YOU:
,-'_,.-,) |; \!_ \|;. ;/._, \ '--' )
c , ^^= ^= '.__,''------' THE LOST WORLD:
/\|, \|. , SNAKE VS. MONGOOSE
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%
_________________________
(, ______________________ )
| | ||
| | @@@@ || @@@@
| | @@@@@@@ || @@@@@@@
| | @@ - - || - @@@@ MIRROR MIRROR ON THE WALL
| | @ c/ || '_ @@@
| | _@| |_ || __\@ \@ WHY DO ONLY CUNTBIRDS
| | ( \ )/_\ /_ || _\\ (/ ) @\_/) CARE ABOUT DICKWOLVES JOKES
| | \ \|) / $ || |(__/ / /|
| | |\_/ ( -/ || \___/ ----/_|
| | / \ || ,: '(
| | : _/| || |: \
| | : | || |: )
| | : | || |: |
| |_______'____,_|_______|| |_____,_|
.---('________________________)--. | / (
|____ __________ _| | /\ )
|___| -o- | |__| -o- | ( \| /
|___| -o- | |__| -o- | | /'=.
b'ger|________| |__|______| '=>/ \
/ \ /|/
,___/|
%
STD TEST CAME BACK CLEAN BITCHES!!!
.-------..___
'-._ :_.-'
.- ) _ ( --.
: '-' '-' ;.
/'-.._____.-' |
| | \ |
\ | / \
| \ )_.-'LGB
'-._/__..-'
%
, _,-
(\ _,-',' I USE THE WORD "DIALOG" AS A VERB
\\ ,-" ,' SYNONYMOUS WITH "TALK"
\\ ,' ,'
\\ _:.----__.-."-._,-._ FUCKING KILL ME NOW
\\ .-".:--`:::::.:.:' ) `-.
\\ `. ::L .::::::'`-._ ( ) : PLEASE END THE PAIN
\\ ":::::::' `-. `-_ ) ,'
\\.._/_`:::,' `. . `-: YOU WILL BE DOING
:" _ "\"" `-_ . ` `. ME A FAVOR
"\\"":--\ `-.__ ` . `.
\\':: \ _-"__`--.__ ` . `. _,--..-
\\ :: \_-":)( ""-._ ` `.-''
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.....
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*$.4$"z$$" ^*$$$$ $$ CRISS ANGEL TRICK REVEALED:
"$$$$P" "$$$P
*$b. .d$P" HE SUCKED 90 DICKS AND GOT AIDS 90 TIMES
"$$$ec.....ze$$$" AND THAT'S THE TRICK
"**$$$**""
%
_/\|\_\_
_| .- \___
________\ / ) oò__________ [nabis]
</ ) _/_ )-.___/
/ /\( (/
| (__`'` '`
'--.) PLEASE WATCH MY MASS EFFECT ANIME FANFIC
(WITH FILKING)
%
/\_ _ __
__ _ \( ! )/_/ __
\_\( % )>o<})# )/_/ I LIKE SAYING THE WORD "ENVIROTAXES" BECAUSE
_(%>o<(_!_)>o<#)_ IT'S A COMBINATION OF "ENVIRONMENT" AND "TAXES"
/_/(_% ( | (_#_)/_/
( ! (~>O<~) % ) _ SEE
_({>O<}(_|_)%>O<%)_>
/_/(_!_)# )( (_%_)
_(#>o<#)>o< )_
/_/(_#_)(_|_)\_\
\/ hjw
%
/)
,.//,
/` `'` `\
: : BOY OH BOY
: :
: : THE STORYLINES AND CHARACTER
: : DEVELOPMENTS IN BLIZZARD'S
: ; GAMES SURE ARE MOVING AND
: : ARTISTICALLY INSPIRED
; ; ALMOST AS IF WRITTEN BY SOME
; ; SORT OF SHAKESPEARE CLONE
: :
\ /
`._,.='``'-.,_,.`
'-._ ~ _.-'
cjr `'''`
%
,-------------.
(o) _ __ _____ )--.
`-------------' )
( /
`---'
o!O
THIS TAMPON HAS A BETTER CHANCE OF

BEING PRESIDENT THAN MITT ROMNEY
%
,
_cc,
'.())(((c
(((((()(c
'(((('_ _'
`((( \
(`\ - TIME FOR ANOTHER ABORTION!!!
' ) ( __ CAN'T WAIT TO TRY FOR
_.-' ' `. A 3-POINT SHOT WITH ITS
/ , -' \ BLOODY REMAINS INTO MY
L ` . OFFICE GARBAGE CAN THAT
\ / ` | HAS A BASKETBALL HOOP
`c ) c ) J WHIMSICALLY MOUNTED ABOVE IT
.\__. `---': |
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%
___
/. `\ I JUST LOADED MY ASS CRACK WITH HUMMUS
/ , ` | USING A GARDEN SPADE
/^\__/'
_,--~, /_ THERE IS A KIDDIE POOL FILLED
/' ~~~ -__ ~-, WITH HUMMUS IN MY BACKYARD
,/ , _ \
/ |`-_ _ '_/%\ `\
/ |_, ~~ __/`\ \ NOW CHOW DOWN ON MY DUNG SLINGER
,--~~"' / \ `--/ |, >
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mooO' Ooom' mOm
%
___
.-. __/+++\__
___\"/___ //@ @\\
/---\`/---\ \_u_/
_\.W^W------/ \-------./_
==|_______. |: ._____|==
/ | |: | \
| |: |
:-------: OH GOD I FUCKING LOVE
| | | QUICK TIME EVENTS
| |.-.|
.-"-. | |'-'|
/(\ /)\ |___|___|
\ '.' / /(|| ||)\
''''''''`'''`''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''ldb
%
A HYPERPALINDROME IS A WORD THAT LOOKS
THE SAME WHEN ROTATED AROUND 180 DEGREES
LIKE "1961" OR "COCKBALLS"
_ ___ __ _
/ |/ _ \ / /_ / |
| | (_) | '_ \| |
| |\__, | (_) | |
|_| /_/ \___/|_|
tQn
%
__
`( o`_\ COULD SCIENCE FICTION FILM AND VIDEO GAME WRITERS
\ \ ` STOP FUCKING NAMING THINGS "PANDORA"
/ /
__WWWW__ IT'S GETTING REALLY TIRING AND IT'S NOT CLEVER AT ALL
( / \ )
| | | |
\| |/
___vv__vv____
/ `` '' \
|_____________|
/ \ nmf
(_I__I_)
%
.
. \ \ / \ \| \ | / / ,
\ \ | | | |/ \ | | |/ / | .
\ | \ \ | \ / | | / / / | | /_/ /
\_ \ \ \ | |\ | | | / | | | / _/,-'/_,-' /
_ _ \ \| \_\_ \| \ \\ | |/ / / / _/ _/,---' /
\___\ \_ \__ \ \ | \ \ | / // | / // _/_/__/ __/_
__ _ \_ \ \ | \ \ |/ |/ | | / / / /___/ _/ _/
_ \___ \ / _____/
\_ \__ \ -------.___ -----._______ / _/ __/
\__ \ _____ ----- __ / __/
\ _______ ------' /
__ | ___________ ___________ | __
/ `| ,-' ___________ '. ,' ___________ `-. |' \
| /` (_,-' _______ `./ \,' _______ `-._) '\ |
| | ,-' `._,`-. ,-' `._,`-. | |
| |. ,' `. `. ,' `. `. :| |
| \ `. `-._____,-,' `. `-._____,-,' / |
\ ' `-._______,-' : : `-._______,-' ' /
\_. | | ._/
| | | |
\ / \ /
\ / \ /
\ | | /
| \,--._,--./ |
| _,.--'''`-'''`--.._ |
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.--.\\ -- \\ .--.\ `-.|__|__|,-' /,--, // -- //,--, /(/__/ /
\__$\ .--.\\ \__\) (/__/ //,--, /(/__/ / `---'
`---' \ \__\)`---' `---'(/__/ / `---'
jrei `---' `---'
RON PAUL RON PAUL RON PAUL RON PAUL

%
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`98P' RR 9888888888P' SPIDER-MAN THREAD !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
`"9888P"'
`"'
%
_....._
/::::::.\
/xx::::::.\
|#xx|n|:xx|
\##x/xxxx#/ |
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\ '=: \V| m|--e-+------ |=O==| I WILL NEVER TOUCH A WOMAN
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/-=/ '. | './-\_/-\ |_o| '.___.'
_/._/ |-|_ _|._/ \_.| \_/\
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itz -_
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n-._
M// \ IS THE MYERS-BRIGGS TYPE INDICATOR USED BY ABSOLUTELY
///L_/_) ANYONE OTHER THAN ASPERGERS SHITHEADS TO EVALUATE THEIR
/////y||| INTERACTIONS WITH FELLOW HUMAN BEINGS AFTER THINGS
jjs / 78)/| || HAVE INEVITABLY GONE HORRIBLY WRONG
/ /"" \_/
/ /
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%
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|,|\'|| _ _ 'Yb_bb||\
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A
* /=\
| | | THIS IS A ROCKET
| /| |\ THAT GOES INTO OUTER SPACE
| / |-| \
|--| /|/---\|\ OOOOOOOOOOOOOUTER SPAAAAAAAAAAAACE
|\/|_________|||||
|/\|_|_|_|_|_| |
|--| | |
|\/| | |
|/\| |~~~|
|--| | |
|\/|________ |._,|
|/\|_|_|_|_|/ / \ \
|--| |.|_|,|
|\/| | |
|/\| | |
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|\/| ,' | | `.
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/|\/| / / | \# /|\
/=+/\|####/--/.|_|__,---\ |\\ \
------"""""""|^|#^#^" _\|| \
\|/ `---- \ ---' \|/
-*-------------------------------*-
/|\ ool/|\
%
3.141592
653589793
23 84
6 2 64 I'VE GOT WAY TOO MUCH TIME ON MY HANDS
3 38
3 27
9 50 2
8 8 4197
16 93 SS
%
,
/.\
//_`\
_.-`| \ ``._
.-''`-. _.'`. WHOSOEVER EATETH ME
.' / /'\/`.\ `. LIKES SHIT THAT LOOKS FUNNY
/ . |/ `. \ THAT ALSO TASTES FUNNY
' / \ ; (AS WELL AS LOOKS FUNNY)
: ' \ : :
; ; ; / .
' : . ' /
\ \ / .'
LGB `.` .' .'
`-..___....----`
%
,-. ,-.
||,\ -=- /,|| Y2K WAS A JOKE
F'\\\,o8o,///`J
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`-.___.-'
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%
/ | \
/ | \
/O O | O O\
//|\ /|\ /|\ /|\\
/=/ \=/ \= / \=/ \=\
/ == == == == == \
/ == == == == == \ MP
I HATE TO BREAK IT TO YOU BUT
THE BEATLES QUITE FRANKLY SUCKED
%
,^. __
' ` ,' '.
|x| /_ _\ O HAI
| | / \\ // \
| | (|(o) (o)|)
| | \ '' /
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| | .\ /.,| |
| | / /\/\ \/|\
| | |`| |`|
| | | | | |
azc|_| ///` '\\\
%
,--------------. I CAN'T BACKSPACE !!!!! WAIT NO NEVER MIND
|* ********* oo|~~~~~~. THE BACKSPACE KEY LOOKS LIKE THE FAGGOT KEY
|E888888 888 88| /
`=-=-=====-=-=-' JW `-=
%
| | | | |
| | | | | I'M FEELING QUEASY
| |__|__| |
( ; ; ) FROM EATING TOO MUCH QUISP
.). __ '| , |'
qPjPp (\/) | | | ALSO POSSIBLY FROM PLAYING
(@) ;)'" | | | TOO MUCH PERQUACKY
//v\// |__|__|
(;,;#;, ,--,_ __ .--& | &--.
__(;/";))____-O--o'___('_)-_(______|______)_-[=
###############################################
%
-.,_ .,,,,. _,.-
`-_-.,_.,xxx####xxx,._,.-_-'
``"-,"-,\ xx ###### xx /,-",-"'' FURBLE DURBLE BONKLE DOO
`"-=`-,,xx xx,,-'=-"'
.,-='`,x,,;,######,;,,x,'`=-,. I'M GOING TO MAKE YOU WANT TO POO
'_.-='''x=(O))####((O)=x```=-._`
.='_.-'x |####| x`-._`=. HEEBLE DEEBLE DIPPLE DEE
' /' .-;x |#/\#| x;-. `\ `
.-'_.-.x\/ \/x.-._`-. SOMETHING SOMETHING SOMETHING ME
_.=' (CC) `=._
MJP
%
/\ ____
<> ( oo )
<>_| ^^ |_ EVEN MODERN SPECIAL EFFECTS
<> @ \ CAN'T MAKE ME NOT FUCKING SUCK
/~~\ . . _ |
/~~~~\ | |
/~~~~~~\/ _| |
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|[][][[m]
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|[|--|]|
|[| |]|
========
==========
|[[ ]]|
========== Keely
%
_..._
,' `.
,' `.
,' _ ,-. `. WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT
| (_) `-' | I LOVE THIS JOB AND
| > | HAVE ON INTENTION OF LEAVING
| ,----. | OR DOING ANYTHING MISCHIEVOUS
| /,-""-.\ | OR FRADULUENT OR CRUEL BEFORE I DO
`. |/ " ,'
`. ,'
`._____,'
Krogg
%
'
;
;
`, .--. NEVER MAKE DECISIONS WHILE UPSET OR EXCITED OR GAY
._.-./
\/"""\
(_____)
--=XXXXX=--
%
_____ _ _____ ____ /_ /,
| ,-, ) /'_`\ |_ _| | __| \ \> A BROKEN PRICK IS NO LAUGHING MATTER
| `-'< | (_) | | | | _| ) )__ ,_
|_|`\_\ \___/ |_| |_| (_.-'_)__$
;-''
%
* . ,
. - * -
. ' `
._c \c _c/ _c GOOD RIDDANCE,
\`- )` ' / '/\ USED CONDOM
>\ |> /\ -'|
brojek
%
I JUST WANT TO REMIND YOU ALL THERE IS NO EVIDENCE
WHATSOEVER TO BACK UP ANY OF THE BULLSHIT I'M ABOUT
TO SAY, AND YOU'D HAVE TO BE PRACTICALLY A FUCKING
MORON TO BUY INTO ANY OF IT AND CERTAINLY TO GIVE
ANY MONEY TOWARD THE PROPAGATION OF THE COMPLETELY
ASININE DIARRHEA WHICH I SPEW DAILY ON YOU DIPSHITS
LET US PRAY
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| |
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|| || | | (\/) <_@_>
|| || | | <_@_>'(/\)
|| || | | (/\|/|-.
|| || .---------. _|_|_
|| ||_,-'---------'-,__ |WWWWW|
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__
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||(|| .-. (\__/)
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.jgs===================================.
| |
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| |
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%
\\\\\\\|///////
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./#####\. I FALL OFF TREES AND STICK TO SHIT
-|#######|- OR SOMETIMES I JUST ACCUMULATE
-|#######|- ON THE GROUND AND YOU HAVE TO SWEEP ME
'\#####/` .
' | ` . /
|- . |\_ _//
-| |\_| //___.
| | ' / __--'
|- . | / <___.
%
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dHHHHHHHHHHHHHHb THE BOOBS ARE OUT THERE
dHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHb
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gpyy
GOOD THING NEITHER OF US HAS AIDS,

SO WE CAN FART IN PUBLIC WITH ABANDON
%
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[_ | / \ / \
/ /_| () | () |
_|____]\__/ \__/_
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|("\| /|/ | | | | | ' | | | | / | :|; | |
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| `|_.'| | | /`| || | |\ | |( | | | |
| | | | |/ |\ || | | `Y| /| \ | | | |
| | | | | /| Y || | | || /`| \| | | |
| | | | /| | | | || | | || | || | | | |
| | | | "-|-" |/__|| | | /_|_| |/__| | | |
| | | | | |'""| | | '"|" |"""| | | |
__|___|___|___|___|___|___|___|___|___|___|___|___|___|___|__jgs
ZOOS ARE A GREAT PLACE TO GO TO SEE NEAT ANIMALS

AND REMIND YOURSELF WHAT HIPPO SHIT SMELLS LIKE
WHILE UGLY KIDS AND THEIR FAT PARENTS MAKE YAPPING
SOUNDS ALL AROUND YOU UNTIL YOU CAN'T TAKE IT ANY
MORE AND YOU THROW YOURSELF INTO THE LION'S DEN
%
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| / | ~~~~~~~|~~~~~| ~~---, _/, >
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| \ | | | | \_-~ /`~___--\
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\ | | | |_ | /~~|~~\ \,/
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'-,_ | _____| | / | ,-'---~\
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JB `~'
FOLKS WITH THE BIG ELECTION LOOMING I'VE BEEN SCRUTINIZING

THIS ELECTORAL MAP AND REALLY CHECKING OUT THE NUMBERS AND
I'VE COME TO THE CONCLUSION THAT I STILL DON'T GIVE A FLYING FUCK
%
(()))
/|x x|
/\( - ) I HOPE THE NEXT CALL OF DUTY GAME'S
___.-._/\/ ZOMBIE MODE IS STILL FUN !!!!!!
/=`_'-'-'/ !!
|-{-_-_-} !
(-{-_-_-} ! LET ME CHANGE THAT TO "IS FUN" BECAUSE
\{_-_-_} ! NONE OF THEM REALLY ARE FUN AT ALL ACTUALLY
}-_-_-}
{-_|-_}
{-_|_-}
{_-|-_}
ZOT {_-|-_}
____%%@ @%%_______
%
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(ò`) ` __(\_ |\_
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( .- \ / `-._ | | | | | / __|| | /`|| ____|| \
\ (\_ /\/ `-.__-()\ \ / /| || / | |/ / | |__ | | \
`-|__)__/ / /``-. /_____8 \ \_/\_/ / | ||| | / | __| | |\ \
\__/ / `-` ` \ / | || \__ | |\`\ | |___ | |_| |
/>| /( /|( \_/\_/ |_| \___||_| \_\|_____||_____|
/| J L \-. J J \-. ( /| |\ /|)
`` | | \ `\ | | `\`\ \-. J J J `-..-` |`\-._ NDT
L___J L \ L | J L \ `\ | | _.<.-`-._ / \ `-.
( | | \ `/ | | | L \ L | ` L|` L \ `\
.oO() J .\ | L J | \ `/ | || | |\ \
_.<.-` `\ | J L J .\ | / J ) J LJ L
` \ | | |.<.-` `\ | |(.__..-` / /__..--. |
\| L____J \ | | _/ `--`` `\|
) \| \ .-` )
) |/`
)
WHAT IF THERE WERE NINJA PIRATE ZOMBIES WHO LIKED BACON

%
#######
#######o###
#####o#######o#
####o#\#|#/######## BE LIKE NEWTON
########\|/##o#####o#
# }}{ o # FEIGN NO HYPOTHESIS
}{{ (
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ejm97 }{{ \/\\ o
%
,-""""-.
,' _ `. FOLKS OUR SOCIETY IS SO SERIOUS ABOUT EXPLORING SPACE
/ )_) \ THAT I JUMPED OUT OF A FUCKING BALLOON
: :
\ / YEAH THAT'S RIGHT YOU HEARD ME: A FUCKING BALLOON
\ /
`. ,'
`. ,' I SET A WORLD RECORD: MOST DEPRESSING VAGUELY
`.,' SPACE-RELATED EVENT GIVEN THE FACT THAT WE'VE
hjw /\`. ,-._ ALREADY LANDED ON THE FUCKING MOON
`-'
%
__.-.__
_.-' ' ` `-._
.' ' ' ` ` `.
( ' ' ` ` )
|`-,..,.____..,.,--;| I'M SO GLAD THAT THIS IS 2012
|: | :| : | : |: ||
|: | :| (9>| : |: || AND NOT 1912 OR 1812 OR 1712 OR ANY OF THAT SHIT
|: | :|($ | : |: ||
|: | :|/\\ | : |: || THEY DIDN'T HAVE CELL PHONES OR COMPUTERS OR
|: | /| II | : |: || ELECTRICITY OR TOILET PAPER OR ANY OF THAT SHIT
|: |///| II | : |: ||
|; | :| II | : |: || WHY DIDN'T THEY ALL JUST KILL THEMSELVES
/`-!...|____|...!--'\
/ \
`--...._________....--' FL
%
_.-----. _.-----. ,
.-' .--. \ .-' `-. (c__ IF I CAN SPURT THIS FAR IT'S
.' ( `-)----' `. / ONLY BECAUSE I STAND ON
VK `-._.' (\ THE SHOULDERS OF GIANTS
%
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(< ?
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__||___ TITS XOR GTFO
|\___//_\
(' | ') \\
__|\ , / |/
/: / \ ::
\| ######o /|
######## \)
########
\ : /
\: /
--
%%%
%%
%
/:\
|/|, b'ger
%
o
o /
\ /
\ /
\ /
+--------------v-------------+
| __________________ @ | I WISH I WERE A YOUTUBE STAR SO THAT I
| / \ | COULD OBSESS ABOUT VIEWER NUMBERS AND
| | ,--, | (\) | STATS I DON'T UNDERSTAND AND SUCK OFF
| | _ ___/ /\| | | OTHER, MORE POPULAR, YOUTUBE STARS
| | ,;`( )__, ) ~ | (-) | AND NEVER AMOUNT TO ANYTHING IN LIFE
| | // o// '--; | |
| \ ' o \ | / :|||: |
| -ooo-------------- :|||: |
+----------------------------+
[] []
%
_____
\/,---<
( )a a( YOU STOLE FIZZY LIFTING DRINKS!!!
C >/
\ ~/ BUT THE D.A. MISHANDLED THE EVIDENCE,
,- >o<-. SO HERE'S THE KEYS TO MY FUDGE FACTORY
/ \/ \
/ /| | |\ \ _
\ \| | | \ `---/_)
\_\_ | | `----\_O-
/_/____|
| | |
| | |
| | | ____
|__|_|_ &&& x_ \_,-------.___ |
Stef00 (____)_) &&&& x__*_\\._/__--_-_\-._/_
%
(_v_)
_|_
| |
|-----+-----|
| 1ST |
| PRIZE |
'---------' I JUST WON THE NOBEL PRIZE IN DOING NOTHING
\ /
'. .'
| |
.' '.
_|___|_
[#######] apc
%
__ __
|--| |--|
.._ o' o' (()))) _ o' o'
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( \ :' o o `:: ,-)() /_.')/ .
| | .)(. |\ \ ( (_ ) / ( `' /\_) .:izf:,_ . |
| | _ _| \ \ :| ,==. |: / , _ / 1 \ .:q568Glip-, \ |
\ \/ '-' (__\_\____::\`--'/:: / / / \/ /|\ \-38'^"^`8k=' \L,
\__\\[][]____(_\_|::,`--',:: / / /__/ <( \ \8) o o 18-'_ ( /
:\o*.-.( '-,': _ :`.| L----' _)/ ))-..__)( J 498:- /]
: [ \ | |=| ' |\_____|,/.' //. -38, 7~ P88;-'/ /
: | \ \ | | |_| | | || :: (( : : ,`""'`-._,' /
: | \ \ ; | | | | \ \_::_)) | : , ,_ /
:( | / )) / /| | | | | [ | \_\ _;--==--._
MJP: | / / / / | | | | | Y |CJR (_\____:_ _:
: | / / _/ / \ |lf | | CJ|mk | | ,--==--. |_`--==--'_|
" `--==--'
o/~
DICKS IN THE MORNING /
DICKS IN THE EVENING /
DICKS PRETTY MUCH ALL THE TIME NOT REALLY

SURE WHY THESE LYRICS MADE THE FINAL CUT
THEY DON'T EVEN MATCH THE PROPER METER
o/~
%
_____________ _I-I__ __
/ ____ "-|_|-.\ \
/ __,--' `--._ _ \\ \ THIS TRACK IS THE PHATTEST TRACK OF ALL
hjw /,-' ,-"-. `-.\\ \
/( ( ^ ) ) \\ \ APPARENTLY THAT JOKE FAILED THE PHAT TEST
/ `m.__ `-.-' __.m' _)) \
/ ____`""mm.______,mm""' /_/-' \ NOT ME THOUGH I PASSED WITH PHLYING COLORS
/ /___/ === `""""""' II `w \
/_____________________________________\
i_____________________________________i
%
( )
((((())) WORD UP !!!! I'M A DURACELL BATTERY
|o\ /o)|
( ( _') CHECK MY ENERGY LEVEL !!!!
(._. /\__
,\___,/ ' ') (GERMANS WOULD SPELL THAT "ENERGYLEVEL")
'.,_,, ( .- . . )
\ \\ ( ' )( )
\ \\ \. _.__ ____( . |
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((,) / ((() )
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pils _//. ((() ."
_____ //,/" ___ ((( ', ___
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,-'"-, MORE LIKE FOUR MORE *EARS*

('; ;
.) , GET IT
. ;
'-' I DIDN'T GET THE MEMO IS IT OKAY TO MAKE FUN OF OBAMA YET
Phil
%
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" m " " "m"m" "m"m"m"m"m"m"m"m I HOPE THOSE NEW YORKERS DON'T MESS UP
"m"m m"m" "m m"m"m"m"m"m"m"m"m"m$"m THE SUPERDOME AGAIN AFTER SANDY
$ " "m"m"m"m"m"m"m"m"m"m$" $m
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/, _) (\_ |::::: WILL YOU PLEASE TAKE THIS BENWA BALL
.\\__| \ \ (::::: AND SHOVE IT UP YOUR ASS
/\\ | \_\ \;;;
( |)| \ \__)_(__
| | \ )
| | \ |
| | __ | :/
| | | \ |_____|
| | | \/ |
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Sher^ `'' |_|
%
___
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,'_,-\
;'____\ GO FORTH AND STOP TALKING ABOUT THE ELECTION NOW
|| =\=|
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/ .\/) WHAT'S UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUP
_."```'-' \___/
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jgs | ||~~~| ||
^^^` ^^^`
%
____
/ /' `\ \
\ ( )( ) / YOU KNOW WHOSE OPINIONS ABOUT POLITICS
\{~~~~~~~~}/ I REALLY WANT TO HEAR THE MOST ??!??!!??!
{ /\ }
{ } { } FUCKING CHILDREN AND FUCKING FOREIGNERS
{ } { }
{- } { -}
_| | | |_
\[ ] [ ]/
%
( HELLO I AM TALKING TO YOU ON THE PHONE
|
|
|
|
|
|
( I HEAR YOU
tQn
%
_.._..,_,_
( )
]~,"-.-~~[ BEER XII: THE FINAL BEER
.=])' (; ([
| ]:: ' [ SO TOO MUCH ALCOHOL FOR ONE DAY
'=]): .) ([
|:: ' | ........... OR NOT ENOUGH ?!?!?!?!
PMH ~~----~~
%
/ \
( Y ) I LIKE TO SAY THE WORD "ARREARS"
\ | /
%
_______________ /)
(_______________((> I'M A TORPEDO
\)
Krogg
%
_,.-;''''''------....__
.' ..;;t---------....___ ``'-._ I'M A TRILOBITE
| ' '\ `'--.._`.
\ `-.,__,L__.............._____`") I WAS ONE OF THE MOST SUCCESSFUL ANIMALS
'. ._,\_ __.-' AND ROAMED THE EARTH FOR A QUARTER-
sk `'-...__`:.----""""""```` BILLION YEARS
THEN WE ALL BECAME EXTINCT
SO .......... CHIN UP !!!!!!!

%
.-"""""""-.
{ _____}---. .-. I HOPE WE'RE ALL LOOKING FORWARD TO THANKSGIVING !!!
{ / ( o\
{ / \ \V THAT'S THE TIME OF THE YEAR WHEN WE GIVE THANKS
{ | _\ \. TO OUR LORD AND SAVIOR JESUS CHRIST FOR NOT BEING
{ | / '-' \ JEWISH AND SO WE CAN TOTALLY EAT TURKEY
{___\ /\______/ __/
~~/ / /____// JUST ONE MORE AWESOME THING THAT JEWISH FOLKS ARE
'--'\___/ \___/ PROSCRIBED FROM PARTAKING IN
'\_ \_
_Dana'97_ /\ /\ CHRISTIANITY RULES !!!!11111111111111111111111111111
%
_ _
('< >')
\(_)________( \ YOU TALKING ABOUT POLITICS IS A LOT LIKE
(___________)\\ A DRINKING BIRD TOY TRYING TO SUCK A DICK
( ) \
| | YOU'RE NOT VERY GOOD AT IT AND
| | YOU LOOK FUCKING RIDICULOUS DOING IT
| |
_| |_
(_______)lc
%
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; ;
; :
:\ ;
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:; '-.' ,=" "-=,`."-,
'. ;=" " ; '-. THESE ARE WHAT LADIES WEAR
'-.; _..._ ; '-. WHEN THEY WANT TO LOOK ALL HOT
: .-. ___ .-. ; \
; ;.-".-."-.; ; : OR SO I HEAR
; .' '._.' '. ;`,__.-.'
; ; _,_ ; ; `--" I KNOW NOTHING ABOUT ANYTHING
; '..-" "-,.' ;
'. `-.___.-' .'
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/|x x|
/$ - ) UNDEAD OVER HERE
___.-._/\/
/=`_'-'-'/ !! AND I DON'T MEAN THAT IN A GAY CUDDLY WAY
|-{-_-_-} !
(-{-_-_-} ! OR DO I !?!?!?!?!??!?!
\{_-_-_} !
}-_-_-}
{-_|-_}
{-_|_-}
{_-|-_}
{_-|-_} ZOT
____%%@ @%%_______ NO SERIOUSLY I DON'T, DON'T BE GROSS
%
|\ /| |\ /| POO PETS !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11
| \ / | |\\ //|
| | | | | \| |/ | I'LL BE A DUNG BUNNY
\ | | / \ || || /
\ |_| / \||_||/ AND/OR STOOL PIGEON
.' '. .' '.
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%
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.-' | `-. __\
.'\ | /`. _ (..)\
.' \ | / `.\ \ ,_/ DIVER DAN'S WET PLEASURE
\ \ | / / \ )(_
`\ \ | / /' `|| \ IS THAT A SCUBA STORE OR
`\ \ | / /' || / A KINKY PORN VIDEO
`\ \ | / /' |\ `
jgs _.-`\ \ | / /'-._ | \
{_____`\\|//'_____} ____| /
`-' \_.-' \`.
~~~
%
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/'.\
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%
.. .. ...
.' ;' ; ;''''.
;| ; |; ;; ; ANUBI BE DIFFERENT FROM HUMANS
;| ; |; ;;. ;
; ~~~~',,,,,,, '. ' ; AM I RIGHT ??????????/
; -A ; '; ;
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_ ___ ___ ___ _ _ ___ _____
/_\ |__ \ | _ \ / _ \ /| |\ / \ / _ \|_ _|
/ _ \ |_ )| _/| (_) |( ( ) )/ . \| (_) | | |
/_/ \_\|___/ |_| \___/ \|_|//_/ \_\\___/ |_|
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______________________ 8______________________
Y888888888888888888888 .oo88P 888888888888888888888P
""Y88888888888888P Y8"8" 888888888888888P""
"""Y888 . Yb d88888P""" GOOD RUSSIAN AIRLINE
d8888888"
d8P Y8b COULDN'T POSSIBLY CRASH
joey d8P Y8b
%
_
"-_
"-_
_ ,"-_ _.-"""""-._
"-._( :-. ,' `. I SURE HOPE THAT'S A CUE
"-._( ) ,' `. AND A CUEBALL AND NOT A
"`-' / ,'\ \
/ \,' \ NOT A
( )
| | NOT A
| |
( )
\ / I CAN'T BRING MYSELF TO
\ / SAY IT
`. ,'
`. ,'
`-._____.-' NOT A
-shimrod
***WIENER***
%
_ _
,-'/ \`-, I HATE THOSE BEARDO NERD FAGGOTS TOO
( (_,-'`-,-'`\_) )
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NEXT PERSON TO MAKE REFERENCE TO THE

"WHERE'S MY FLYING CAR" GAG
GETS A PUNCH TO THE FUCKING DICK
%
______________
| |____| | |
| .' `. | | I PREFER TO MY DICK AND BALLS AS MY "GOODS AND SERVICES"
| : (_)|
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| `.____.' |
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WOW I HAD NO IDEA MODERN RAYTRACERS WILL STILL SO PRIMITIVE

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/,---. )\ IF YOU CONSIDER GETTING BREAST REDUCTION SURGERY
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_____
_.--~_..__ ~~-._ BUY FAR CRY 3 AND I'LL BITE YOU FUCKER
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_____
/~/~ ~\ REPORTS OF MY PREMATURE DEMISE HAVE BEEN GREATLY EXAGGERATED
| | \
\ \ \ WELL I SUPPOSE NOT SO MUCH EXAGGERATED JUST
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_____
_|[]_|_
_/_/=|_\_\_ I'M WORRIED ABOUT THE END OF THE
_/_ /==| _\ _\_ WORLD TODAY
_/__ /===|_ _\ __\_
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| ! | | | | ! | THE ONLY THING I CAN IMAGINE
| ! `| `| |' |' ! | WORSE THAN MARRYING A WOMAN
| ! -| -| |` |` ! | IS MARRYING A MAN
| ! | | | | ! |
| ! | | | | ! | AND AT LEAST THE GUY COULD
| ! | | | | ! | TAKE A PUNCH
| ! | | | | ! |
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| '. | |
| | '. | HOLD ON THIS DEED IS WRITTEN ON TOILET PAPER
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| | THIS PLANET SUCKS IF I CAN'T
|U | EAT MY CREAM OF WHEAT
|S |
|A | GOODBYE
/^\ /^\
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___/_______________________________\______
jro
%
.----------------.
/__________________\
||\ ________ /| _ | RAPE CANS
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|| |;-""""-;| |o(_)| ARE YOU DOWN WITH IT
|| |________| | __ |
hjw ||/__________\|[__]|
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A SIMPLE VINE
THE LATEST COHEN BROTHERS JOINT

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_ _______ _
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| |
| |
( \ // / o HEY THIS ISN'T A TERRIBLY UGLY PORNSTAR
__[_]___\_______/___(_)__
(_________________________) OH GOD JESUS CHRIST IT'S A SHEMALE HELP
| ___ _|___~___|_ ___ |
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||_~_|| (\_____/) ||_~_||
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|=| WOMEN CAN PUT ANYTHING THEY PUT THEIR BROOMS TO
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MY DONG IS DOLPHIN-SAFE
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.'-'-._/-'-._
/.. ____ \ MY FATHER (JOR-EL) TOLD ME NOT TO INTERFERE
/' _ [<_->] ) \ TIME TRAVEL AND MANIPULATING THE PAST
( / \--\_>/-/'._ ) BUT SOMETIMES YOU GOTTA SAY EHHHHH FUCK IT
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. --\|/-- , I'M HUNGRY
'--|___|--'
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_.-'' ,-'`-. ``-._
,-' ,' `. `-. LET'S OUTLAW ALL WORKERS' UNIONS
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/ / \ \ RADIATION TREATMENT AGAIN
/_ / \ _\
``-./_..---'''|``---.._\,-'' I MEAN CHE RULES
|
| HEY SHOW SOME RESPECT FOR MARTIN
| LUTHER KING JR. AND CESAR CHAVEZ !!!
| I HAVE NO IDEA WHO THEY ARE OR WHAT THEY DID
|
| ISN'T CHAVEZ THE GUY WHO CONQUERED ROME
|
, | NO WAIT THAT'S LUCILLE BALL AND/OR
`..' SSt DIZZIE GILLESPIE
I'M AN ENGLISH LIT MAJOR

%
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=======||====================================================
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I TITLE THIS ASCII ART "MOST BORING BULLSHIT EVER"

%
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o \ | I LIKE USING ROLLERSKATES BECAUSE I HAVE FULL-BLOWN AIDS
< @| (NOTE: NOT JUST HIV POSITIVE; FULL-BLOWN AIDS)
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'/' \ MAYBE NEXT I COULD TRY ROLLERSKATE HOCKEY AND REALLY
| ^. SUCK A BIG FAT DICK IN PUBLIC (SOMEHOW WORSE THAN AIDS)
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THIS COULD REPRESENT THE BINARY VALUE 01

IF YOU ONLY HAD ACCESS TO SCISSORS
AND REALLY WANTED TO TYPE IN FULLER BULLSHIT
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;/ BECAUSE MY TAIL STICKS OUT STRAIGHT
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,'" "-._ I'M USING THIS RADIO TELESCOPE
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!!
CM
ANY QUESTIONS ????

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- || -
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,'__ | `. CHINESE SYMBOLOGY HAS REALLY GONE DOWNHILL LATELY
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.. . . . . . ##. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . WS/BW
.. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
CALL OF DUTY: BLACK OPS II HAS FINALLY FOUND

A WAY TO PLEASE ALL RACES, ALL CREEDS AND ALL COUNTRIES
BECAUSE YOU'RE NOT SHOOTING ARABS OR RUSSIANS OR

NORTH KOREANS OR CHINESE OR EVEN NAZIS
YOU'RE JUST SHOOTING POOR PEOPLE
SEE ???? NOW EVERYONE'S HAPPY BLAM BLAM BLAM

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\ | / I WOULD LIKE TO SPEND THREE PRAXIS ON AN AUGMENT THAT
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| ( / \ ) | THERE IS NO TALE SINCE PRETZELS SUCK
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%
/___/____/____/____/_____/_______/______
/_/____/____/___/______/_____/_____/___
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/__/_____/_o__o/____/____/___/_____/____/______
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| | || \_/ o o | ___ | TAKE THIS SHIT DOWN ALREADY
|_|_||/\_| o | | |
|| | |/_/\_\ o | |__ IT'S FUCKING FEBRUARY
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THERE'S A SHITTY LITTLE ASTEROID NAMED FOR A CHARACTER

IN HITCHHIKER'S GUIDE TO THE GALAXY
CAN'T FUCKING WAIT FOR PLANET WAL-MART AND ELEMENT PEPSIUM

%
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\ `. /( \/ /\\
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xxx(o)xx
%
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/|x x| OH THANK GOD
/$ - )
___.-._/\/ THE NEW ALIENS VIDEO GAME
/=`_'-'-'/ !!
|-{-_-_-} ! HAS FUCKING ***ZOMBIES***
(-{-_-_-} !
\{_-_-_} ! IN A FUCKING ***STEALTH MISSION***
}-_-_-}
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____%%@ @%%_______
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/ _ | I'M GIVING UP TWITTER FOR LENT !!!!!!
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I JUST WATCHED THE WHOLE BATTLESTAR GALACTICA SERIES REBOOT AGAIN

FOR REASONS THAT ARE NOT ENTIRELY CLEAR EVEN TO ME
%
_._ _,-'""`-._ YEAH OKAY WE GET IT CRUMPY CAT IS FUNNY LOOKING
(,-.`._,'( |\`-/|
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%
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___ //___ DON'T OBJECTIFY ME !!!!!!11
/ |
'/ (* )( *) | ', SIGNED, MATHBABE6969 XOXO
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""""""""""""""""""
%
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|/| IF YOU ARE MALE AND HAVE A TONGUE PIERCING THEN THIS IS FOR YOU
|/|
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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
CALL OF DUTY: BLACK OPS II FEATURES AN AIRCRAFT CARRIER NAMED

AFTER BARACK OBAMA
WHY WOULD THE U.S. NAVY NAME SOMETHING AFTER A MUSLIM ????????
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| |," `.| | YOU CAN'T WATCH PORN ON ME
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FOLKS IT'S JUST A SIMPLE FACT OF LIFE THAT

KIRK IS BETTER THAN PICARD AND IF YOU ARGUE WITH ME
ABOUT THIS THEN YOU'RE A FOOL
SIGNED, INTERNET FUCKFACE

%
3.141592
653589793 OH NO I'VE MISSED PI DAY AGAIN
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6 2 64 THE HIGHEST FORM OF AUTISM
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THE FUTURE OF AMERICA IS VERY BLEAK IF WE CONTINUE

WITH THIS CURRRENT ADMINISTRATION
RON PAUL 2064

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I HOPE THE UPCOMING ESCAPE FROM NEW YORK REBOOT
CONTAINS AN EMBEDDED LESSON ABOUT HOW IT'S WRONG
TO NOT APPROVE OF SAME-SEX MARRIAGES
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jrei____________________________________________________________________
NOBODY HELPS A 45 YEAR OLD MAN ACROSS THE STREET

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|_,.---.-(' ALL THE LIVE LONG DAY
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_-' _* | | THIS GUN SUCKS
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| UUUU | |
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_.-'_` _%%%_/ I AM A TIME TRAVELLER !!!!!!1
.-'%%% a: a %%%
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_%\'=' | /-.__
.-' / )--' #/ '\ I AM GOING BACK IN TIME !!1!!!
/' / /---'( : \
/ | /( /|##| \ | I HAVE SUCCESSFULLY TRAVELLED BACK IN TIME !!!11
/ ||# | / | /| \ \
| ||##| I \/ | | _| I AM NOW TWO MINUTES BACK IN TIME !!!!!!
| ||: | o |#| | / |
| || / I |:/ / |/ DUDE THIS TIME TRAVEL JOURNEY SUCKS
| || | o / / /
| \| | I |. / /
\ /|##| o |.| /
\/ \::|/\_ / ---'|
\ |\ | | :\
| | / \...' |
| |# |/\ \ |
| | :| | | |
snd | | | | | |
%
|
AMBER WAVES OF PORN -x-
|
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jg
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(( ) TEARS MAKE GREAT LUBE
\-'
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%
_.._..,_,_
( )
]~,"-.-~~[ ONLY TWO BEERS LEFT PEOPLE
.=])' (; ([
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'=]): .) ([ AND ALSO ONE BEER NOW FOR A TOTAL OF TWO
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PMH
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| ]:: ' [ IT'S MEDICINE
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!!!! _ \\\\
! -'/ _ |||| OY MY HANDS ARE WEAK
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ejm / | \ \
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I WOULD LIKE A LITTLE LESS *MOUTH* ABUSE AND A LITTLE MORE MOUTH *ABUSE*
%
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,.--'`````'--.,
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;\\ //|
| \\ ___ // |
| '-[___]-' |
| | I HEREBY SUBMIT A LIST OF WORDS AND PHRASES
| | THAT SHOULD BE VACUUM-SEALED IN A BARREL
| | AND PLACED INTO A SUBDUCTION FAULT AT THE
jgs `'-.,_____,.-'' BOTTOM OF THE SEA FLOOR, NEVER TO BE SEEN AGAIN:
- DIVISIVE
- BRIGHT LINES
- CARROT AND STICK
- MAIN STREET VS. WALL STREET
- AT THE END OF THE DAY
- CIRCLE BACK WITH ME
- HOP ON A QUICK CALL
- KEEP ME IN THE LOOP
- BENEATH THE CUT
- TRUTH TO POWER
- ZEITGEIST
- RUBRICK
- KERFUFFLE
- DISTRACTION
- ROOT CAUSES
- MOVING FORWARD
- EXIT STRATEGY
- STRUM UND DRAG
- WENT VIRAL
- LET ME RING YOU BACK
- TWITTERVERSE
- ON THE GROUND
- GAME CHANGER
- TOUCH BASE
- ON THE SAME PAGE

%
.------. .------.
.' //`. .' `.
/ // \ / \ IF WE WERE IN THE HOOD YOU
| // : | ......::::: COULD PUNCH ME IN THE BOZACK
: // | :::::'''''' |
\ // / \ /
`._// _.' `._ _.' AsH
`"----"' `"----"'
%
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_/ //_.(_(_)(_).. `' --=: *: ======((|_L]_ _/(__(\_ _)\_
/____\_\ `.... `' (__(____) cjr
LOVE SHACK BABY

%
_------_
-~ ~-
- _ -
- |> -
- |< - COULD YOU COME OUT OF THE CLOSET AS A BRIGHT
- |> - SO WE CAN ALL PUNCH YOU IN THE FACE FOR BEING IRRITATING
- || -
- || -
-__||__-
|______|
<______>
<______>
\/
%
*HAPPY CAMPERS*
\
ARE YOU AN ORZ \
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:| |: |: | |
:| Y |: |: | | MJP
:| | |: | ) |
ROCK AND ROLL FOREVER !!!1!!!!11! HOLE

I DON'T MEAN COURTNEY LOVE'S BAND "HOLE"
I AM REFERRING TO THE ACT OF BEING STUFFED
IN A HOLE FOR BEING TOO NOISY
I THINK WE NEED A BIGGER HOLE

%
|\
| \ /|
| \____ / |
/|__/AMMA\/ | DICKS AND PRICKS AND BALLS AND COCKS
/AMMMMMMMMMMM\_| YOU CAN PUT THEM IN A BOX
___/AMMMMMMMMMMMMMMA YOU CAN SHOVE THEM IN YOUR FACE
\ |MVKMMM/ .\MMMMM\ YOU CAN PUT THEM IN A BOX
\__/MMMMMM\ /MMMMMM--- YOU CAN JAB THEM WITH YOUR COCKS
|MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM| / YOU CAN TAKE AWAY THEIR MACE
|MMMM/. \MM.--MMMMMM\/ YOU CAN JIZZ RIGHT IN THEIR FACE
/\MMM\ /MM\ |MMMMMM ___ GIRLS CURLS HURLS WHIRLS
/ |MMMMMMMMM\ |MMMMMM--/ \-. MAKE A FIST AND TAKE A PUNCH NOW
/___/MMMMMMMMMM\|MM--M/___/_| \ MAKE SURE THAT SHE PAYS FOR LUNCH NOW
\VMM/\MMMMMMM\ | /\ \/ YOU CAN PUT THEM IN A BOX
\V/ \MMMMMMM\ | /_ / YOU CAN JAB THEM WITH YOUR COCKS
| /MMMV' \| |/ _/ YOU CAN TAKE AWAY THEIR MACE
| / _/ /
|/ /| \'
/_ /
/ / VK
%
(*)(*)
) .( THIS IS EITHER A SEVERED BODY OR
( v ) SOME MANNER OF STALK-EYED MOLLUSK
\ |/
%
_,. ___. .
____ ,._ --=:_ *: ======((|_L]_ \\
c:____]((=- :* _:=- - - - - `' (__(____) \\
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cjr
I HAVE BEEN PLAYING TACTICAL INTERVENTION BECAUSE (CHOOSE ONE):
(A) I AM BORED
(B) I AM STUPID
(C) I AM BORED AND STUPID
(D) ALL OF THE ABOVE
(E) ALL OF THE ABOVE (INCLUDING THE PREVIOUS "ALL OF THE ABOVE")
%
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:;:;;===| .::. .:::::. .::. |===|;;; IN REAL LANGUAGES WE DO NOT
::;;:___|_|;;;;|_|;;;;;;;|_|;;;;|_|__.:::: CAPITALIZE SEASON NAMES
:;:;,,,/===/,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,\===\::;;;;
l42::/===/:::::::::::::::::::::::\===\;:;: THANK YOU FOR LISTENING
%
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ejm
%
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ALSO PICTURED: A POT OF GOLD
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jrei
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%
I NEVER MAKE THESE WHEN I'M GETTING LAID
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/|x x| YOU KNOW WHAT THE CALL OF DUTY SERIES REALLY NEEDS ???
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___.-._/\/ MOBSTERS *AND* ZOMBIES
/=`_'-'-'/ !!
|-{-_-_-} !
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| || || C ._)o || | o BE FREE
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-=t`", /`-.___. I HAVE DIARRHEA
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\ HOLY SHIT IT'S COLD
,~``'`'c; \ WHAT THE FUCK AM I DOING HERE
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dew
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THAT'S AN AIRBUST NUCLEAR EXPLOSION .
UP THERE IN THE SKY NOT THE SUN
%
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IT'S COLD IN HERE

SO WHY NOT PUT ON ALL YOUR CLOTHES
%
.-""""-.
/` (_)`\
| .-""-. | I WAS RAISED IN A RELIGIOUS HOUSEHOLD
; /#.--. \ ; AND IT WAS AWFUL AND I'M REALLY PISSED OFF ABOUT IT
\ \/ \/ /
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_.--....
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SPLISH SPLUMP I WAS TAKING A DUMP

CAN YOU TURN THE LIGHT BACK ON PLEASE
%
.------------------------.
|\\//////// 90 min |
| \/ __ ______ __ |
| / \|\.....|/ \ |
| \__/|/_____|\__/ |
| A |
| ________________ |
|___/_._o________o_._\___| wtx
PLEASE DO NOT STROKE ONE OUT TO MY

VHS COPY OF "BACKDRAFT"
BUT FEEL FREE TO COPY IT TO A BLANK TAPE

AND STROKE IT LIKE AN OLYMPIC SWIMMER
%
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IF YOU SEE THIS THING IN YOUR BACKYARD,

PLEASE RETURN IT TO MY TOILET
REWARD: SEX WITH MY HAND

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%
EWWWWWW _/ SETTLE DOWN FUCKFACE I'M
_,_/_ JUST REACHING FOR THE SAME
\ (/ < \) LEAVES AS YOU ARE WE'RE
\ _/|\_ NOT DATING OR ANYTHING
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I'M A MOLE ***WITH GLASSES*** !!!!1!11
DOESN'T THAT JUST BLOW YOUR FUCKING MIND

%
____________________ _____________
| | | || ||
| | _ | || || BETTER BACK UP THESE SPREADSHEETS
|------| | `-._|\ || ||
| | | \ ||___________||
| | | _ / | _______ |
|------|------.---|_.-' |/ | | __ | |
| | | | | | |__|| |
|______|______|______| '--|_______|--'
Bateau
%
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(-o/\o-) READING IS FUN !!!!
/`""``""`\
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OBSERVE:
A DUMB KRAUT ARGUING WITH FUCKING TREES

%
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| . | THIS IS WHAT I THINK OF YOUR KITTY OPINIONS
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MY LUNCHBOX IS THE DUMPSTER OUTSIDE PLANNED PARENTHOOD

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__ ______ _____ | "- WOMAN FOR THE 1000TH TIME
/ |/ __ |/ __ | |
/_/ | | //| | | // | | SO I MADE THIS ASCII ART
| | |/ /| | |// | TO CELEBRATE
| | / | | / | |
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%
MELISSA JOAN HART'S PUSSY DOUBLES AS A TACKLE BOX
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MILITARY DUDES ARE SOOOO SEXY, NOTHING LIKE A MAN IN UNIFORM

ESPECIALLY THE ONES DEPICTED IN "THE INVISIBLE WAR"
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WHEN WE SAY OUR DEODORANT IS "SO EFFECTIVE YOU COULD SKIP A DAY"
THAT DOES NOT APPLY IF THE CONTINENT YOU WERE BORN ON LOOKS LIKE THIS
%
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(.---------------------------./
`:. //
`======================='' Ojo99
THIS MEMORIAL DAY LET US TAKE A MOMENT TO HONOR "SCRUFFY"

THE UNMANNED AERIAL VEHICLE WHO ONLY MANAGED TO DROP A HELLFIRE
MISSILE ON ONE HUNDRED AND SEVENTEEN CIVILIANS BEFORE IT
MALFUNCTIONED AND HAD TO BE TURNED INTO SCRAP METAL
%
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______________ __
[______________] =)__)=
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_____| |_____
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| '-._| |_.-' | ADAM CAROLLA LIKES
| | \__________/ | | PEEING ON PROSTITUTES
lc__________| .'______| |______'. |_________
| ( \ / ) |
/ _) | | (_ \ OR WAIT IS THAT R. KELLY
_/ /|/ /| |\ \|\ \_
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%
"THE GOLDEN GIRLS: AN XXX MILF PARODY"
________________________________________________
/\______________________________________________/`-.
<()>____________________________________________< ##
\/______________________________________________\,-'
I.E., I THINK I'M DONE WITH PORN FOREVER

%
/\
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\ \ \ I LIKE TO CALL PARAGRAPHS "GRAFS"
\ \ \ BECAUSE I THINK I'M REALLY COOL
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\ \ \ ALSO: I'M A LAZY FUCKING SHITCOCK
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|\ \ / /| FOLKS I JUST WANT TO MAKE IT CLEAR IT'S
| \ \ / / | VERY IMPORTANT THAT I POST A VIDEO OF ME
| \ \ / / | REVIEWING A TOOTHBRUSH
| \ \ / / |
| \ \ / / | BECAUSE THE PEOPLE HAVE A RIGHT TO KNOW !!111
| \ \ / / |
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_____
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.'.-' 12 `-.`.
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.-----------------------------------.
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||:::|:Uea.::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::|:::|| FUNNY-LOOKING
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. . . / WILL YOU JOIN THE SEVENTH DAY ADVENTIST CHURCH WITH ME
\\ < )
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\_/ __|__/L__ EITHER THAT OR SUCK ON MY DICK UNTIL YOU TURN BLUE
/ \
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\ /
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\__/--
%
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000000000000000000000000010010000000000000000000000000 THIS
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000000000000000000000000010010000000000000000000000000 DIGITIZED
000000000000000000000000010010000000000000000000000000 FOR
000000000000000000000000010010000000000000000000000000 YOUR
000000000000000000000000100001000000000000000000000000 SINS
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%
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-)-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
_| |__| |________(_________| |__| |___
\ \/ / ) \ \/ /
) ( ( ) (
| | ( | | REMEMBER PITFALL ?!?!?!?
| | \| | |
| | \o | | YEAH ME NEITHER
| | ( \ | |
| | | |
| | | |
| | | |Zot
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
%
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|:| |:| |:| |:| |:| |:| |:| |:| |:|
|:| |:| |:| |:| |:| |:| |:| |:| |:|
|:| |:| |:| |:| |:| |:| |:| |:| |:|
|:| |:| |:| |:| |:| |:| |:| |:| |:|
|:| |:| |:| |:| |:| |:| |:| |:| |:|
|:| |:| |:| |:| |:| |:| |:| |:| |:|
|:| |:| |:| |:| <+++> |:| |:| |:| |:|
<+++> <+++> <+++> <+++> }~{ <+++> <+++> <+++> <+++>
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\/ \/
/\___/\
~~\_/~~ OH SEINFELD !!!!! YOU'RE SO WACKY
{+} WITH YOUR JEWISH FRIENDS THAT ARE
{+} ALL TOTAL ASSHOLES AND/OR BATSHIT
__<+++>__
___{}{}\O/{}{}___
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`"""""""""""""""""""""""`
%
_ _
| |------------| |
.-'| | | |`-.
.' | | | | `. HELLO NSA !!!!!!!!!111111
.-' \ \ / / `-.
.' _.| |--------| |._ `. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAH GET IT BECAUSE
/ -. .' | | | | `. .- \
/ `( | |________| | )' \ HAHAHAHAHAHAHA STILL LAUGHING
| \ .i------------i. / | AT MY NSA JOKE HAHAHAHAHAHAHA
| .-')/ $`-. |
\ _.-'.-'/ ________ \`-.`-._ / IT'S FRESH AND TOPICAL AND
\.-'_.-' / .-' ______ `-. \ `-._`-./\ ONLY ALREADY BEEN MADE THREE
`-' / .' .-' _ _`-. `. \ `-' \\ MILLION TIMES HAHAHAHAHAHAHA
| .' .' _ (3) (2) _`. `. | //
/ / / (4) ___ (1)_\ \ \ \\ HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
| | | _ ,' `.==' `| | | //
| | | (5) | B.T.| (O) | | | // STOMP ON MY NECK UNTIL THERE
| | | _ `.___.' _ | | | \\ ARE NO FURTHER SIGNS OF LIFE
| \ \ (6) _ _ (9) / / | //
/ `. `. (7) (8) .' .' \ \\
/ `. `-.______.-' .' \ //
/ `-.________.-' \ __//
| |--'
|================================|hjw
"--------------------------------"
%
cc
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-=Occ | ; GEORGE TAKEI !!!! GEORGE TAKEI !!!!! GEORGE TAKEI !!!!!!
cc\ |/ cc
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;=.|| cc
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`._\ -.__\
|/
,||.
|--|
| |
| | EVERYONE SHUT THE FUCK UP ABOUT GEORGE TAKEI ALREADY
jrei | |
/ \
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( )
`-.____.-'
%
( ) HAS JOSS WHEDON BEEN ASSASSINATED YET !?!?!?
( ) (
) _ ) PERHAPS WE CAN ALSO TAKE OUT WIL WHEATON AT THE SAME TIME
( \_
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(____\___))
Krogg98
%
_..-------++._
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[__]==// .-. \\==`===========/==// .-. \\=[__]
`-._|\ `-' /|___\_________/___|\ `-' /|_.' hjw
`---' `---'
FOLKS WE NEED TO COMBINE

RUSSIAN DASHBOARD CAMS
WITH RUSSIAN CAM WHORES
%
____________
|_* *|
/)_)* |* FOUR SCORE AND SEVEN YEARS AGO .............
|*| * *|* *
\o/* * |* * *
|\| * *|*|\*
ejm__|/\*_*_|*| |* JESUS CHRIST ABE JUST SAY EIGHTY-SEVEN
/ / \| |* YOU PRETENTIOUS BEARDED ASSHOLE
|*
\
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_ ___ _.--.
\`.|\..----...-'` `-._.-'_.-'`
/ ' ` , __.--'
)/' _/ \ `-_, / MY CAT IS FURRY
`-'" `"\_ ,_.-;_.-\_ ',
_.-'_./ {_.' ; / BACK OVER TO YOU, JILL
{_.-``-' {_/
fsc/as
%
_.---._
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_.-~ ~-._
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_.-~ ~\ I CALL CHEESEBURGERS
.-~ _.; WITHOUT CHEESE
:-._ _.-~ ./ "HAMBORINGS"
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((\ O(() \ O / _____(_|(_|_____________(_|_ SSt
WAIT THIS CAMGIRL IS SINGING
SHE OWES *ME* TOKENS NOW RIGHT

%
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_/|/_ _// I LIKE THIS GUY
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/ \_/ / / HE LOOKS LIKE A GOOD EGG
, | \_._,-"
( < _'
| \ \
', -',-~.-' ALSO WHAT DOES "A GOOD EGG" MEAN
_/ ) |
|// | ' PROBABLY SHOULD HAVE ASKED THAT FIRST
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| | |
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b'ger /____\__\
%
`_ ,
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/ \ SO DID INDIANS ACTUALLY PEE IN THESE OR WHAT
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|| |__|__|__|__|__| | ||
||_________________ | ||
_________________|_______ iBook """"""""""""""' ||
|""""""------......______ """""""-------.......______||
'-----_____ """ """"""---------"""""" |
"""""-----....._____ | ______-----"""'
""""""""" grp
ARE WE REALLY TOO LAZY TO USE THE WORD "MOCKUPS"

AND INSTEAD JUST SAY "MOCKS" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
ANSWER: YES
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( |-------( )---/ /\ /\ / / _ REALLY DO HAVE AN INKLING OR
`. ; . '/ |\ . \ \ ) ( \_/ (_) AT LEAST A GENERAL CONCEPT OF
. \.' / | \ ` \ \ \ _ WHAT BEHAVIOR OR ACTIVITIES
`-. `. / | \ .(_/_____\ (_) YOU MIGHT HAVE ENGAGED IN
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' | PRINCE RULES !!!!!11!!
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; __,-'/ | THE TOTAL AMOUNT OF POWER
;| ,-' _,'"'._,. COLLECTED BY THIS DEVICE IS
|: _,' |\ `. LESS THAN THE ENERGY OF A
: \ _,-' | \ `. MOSQUITO FLAPPING ITS WINGS
\ \ ,-' | \ \
\ '. .-. | \
\ \ " | : OR AT LEAST SOME OTHER
`. `. | | KIND OF BORING SCIENCE SHIT
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/ |`._ `-._ L /
/ | \ `._ "-.___ _,' WHO FUCKING CARES REALLY
/ | \_.-"-.___ """"
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`._\_ __.'_ WHERE'S THE PORN
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THE NEW WORLD HAD NO EARTHWORMS !!!!!
SO THE ENTIRE CONTINENT OF NORTH AMERICA

WAS COMPLETELY COVERED IN GOLD AND DIAMONDS
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%
_______ ____________
,,/\/ / \/ // / / \ I WILL BEAT YOU TO DEATH WITH THIS SWORD
=\\\\\\\============================-
``\ \ \\ \ \ /\ \ / WHICH ACTUALLY LOOKS LIKE A FEATHER
----- ------------ ---
%
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( )-'-.------|> HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
" `--[]
hjm
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| | || \_/ o o | ___ | WELP IT'S LATE AUGUST
|_|_||/\_| o | | |
|| | |/_/\_\ o | |__ TIME TO START PUTTING
||_|_/I/ \_\ o | UP THE CHRISTMAS LIGHTS
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THIS RACIST COMMENT BROUGHT

TO YOU BUY: SLAP MAH FRO(TM)
BRAND POTATO CHIPS
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/ \/ \ /\ | / INDICATED THAT YOU AS THE
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SCIENCE FACT: THE HITCHHIKER'S GUIDE TO THE GALAXY IS NOT

THAT GREAT OF A TRILOGY AND DOUGLAS ADAMS IS
AN OVERRATED HACK WHO DESERVED TO DIE
WHAT DO YOU MEAN THIS ISN'T SCIENCE YES IT IS
WHAT ARE YOU ANYWAY A HITCHHIKER'S GUIDE DENIER ?!??!?!

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| || || | || || |
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:::::::::::::::::/ /::::\ \::::::::::::::: DON'T CALL THE COPS
::::::::::::::::/ /::::::\ \:::::::::::::: IT'S NOT MY FAULT
:::::::::::::::/_/::::::::\_\::::::::::::: THAT I MISREAD THAT
:::::::::::::(___)::::::::(___)::::::::smd
%
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%%%% = = FACIALLY YOURS !!!!! BHLUBHBLHGBHLGBBHLGHBLH
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/\ .' ...' \ |
/ / .' ...' / \ | I DON'T KNOW WHAT THE FUCK
/_/ .' ...' / | | |' I'M TALKING ABOUT AND DON'T
`._..' .-------.__________.' PLAN ON ME EVEN ATTEMPTING
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(_\__/(,_ THE QUANTITY OF SOULS IN THE UNIVERSE
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J_/___"=> __/`\ I GUESS WHAT I'M SAYING IS THAT
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(((--'| JUSTIFIED USE OF DEADLY FORCE IN SELF-DEFENSE
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.--/_\ /( /./ BECAUSE I'M SOOOOO COOOOOOOOOOOL
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WHEN I GROW UP I WANT TO BE A DJ
THOUGH SOMETIMES I WRITE "DJ" AS "DEEJAY"

IN ORDER TO MAKE IT SOUND MORE INTERESTING
SOMETIMES I WRITE "MORE INTERESTING"

AS "STILL JUST AS PATHETIC" IN ORDER TO BE MORE HONEST
%
____ ___
,' __ ``.._..'' `.
`.`. ``-.___..-. : BOB DYLAN BLOWS HIMSELF
,---..____________________>/ _,'_ | WHEN NOBODY'S LOOKING
`-:._,:_|_|_|_|_|_|_|_|_|_|_|.:SSt:.:|-|(/ |
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%
________________ PS4 !!!!!!!!111 PS4 !!!!!!111 PS4 !!!!!!1111
SgH | |," `.| |
| / SONY \ | MAYBE NOW THAT I BOUGHT ONE SOMEONE WILL LOVE ME
| | | |
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;| ; |; ;;. ;
; ~~~~',,,,,,, '. ' ; OR IT MIGHT NOT HAVE
; -A ; '; ;
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; _; ; ; LET ME GET BACK TO YOU
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(())))) I'M A PUNDIT LISTEN TO ME TALK ABOUT APPROVAL RATINGS
()) | AND OTHER BORING SHIT LIKE THAT AS IF ANYONE ACTUALLY
())c 6_6 EVER GIVES A FUCK IN THE HISTORY OF HUMANITY AND ALSO
)(;\___/) AS WHAT I SAY WON'T BE FORGOTTEN WITHIN A WEEK, TOPS
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| /|| .:*@|\/
||_____| THEY ARE PISS STAINS
C C X
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XXXXX:::XXXXXXXXXXXXX
XXX:XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX:
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.::IXX::XXXXXX:XXXX::.:':XXXX:: SHUT THE FUCK UP
..::::XX:XXXXXX:XXXX:'::':XXXXX:: ABOUT JFK ALREADY
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....:X.:XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX:'XXXX: HE'S DEAD
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...::'"""''''"'""""''' :XXXXXX: A FUCKING LONG TIME NOW
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__________________________
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/ | | | WILL "INSIDE MACINTOSH
/ | | ___________________ | XVII: APPLETALK" HELP
; | | :__________________/: | ME UNDERSTAND SAGGING
| | | | '.| | MACBOOK SALES
| | | | || |
| | | | || |
| | | | || |
| | | | || |
| | | | || |
| | | | || |
| | | | || |
| | | |______......-----"\| |
| | | |_______......-----" |
| | | |
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%
__,...__
_,-'::::::::`-.
,'::,----._::::::`.
,'::,' /\,-. \:::::::`. THIS CONTENT MAY HARM YOUR COMPUTER !!11
/::::| ; | |:::::::::`. ARE YOU SURE YOU WISH TO DOWNLOAD
|:::::`._ \ |:::::::::::\ FILES OF TYPE .JPG ?!?!?!?1
__\,:--''--`_--':::::::::::::\
`'--::__:::::::`-:_:::::::::::::\
/--.`'--:_:::::`-::::::::::::\ WOULD YOU LIKE TO SEND A BUG
/,-_.' _`-:_::::`:::::::::::\ REPORT TO APPLE ?????//
/ /o\| ,-_`-.`--:::`::::::::::)
|| \_/| / /o\\ `:,'''-:' [YES] [YES PLEASE] [SEND 400 REPORTS]
(#__`-_/ | \_/| /##| ,-.\
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I PUT THE STAIN IN ABSTAIN
| |
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PhS
%
.-=========-.
\'-=======-'/ I'M GOING TO HOLD MY BREATH UNTIL
_| .=. |_ MY PAGE WINS AN AWARD OF SOME SORT
((| {{1}} |))
\| /|\ |/ BLUE
\__ '`' __/
_`) (`_ PURPLE
jgs _/_______\_
/___________\ POLKA-DOT
PLAID
EX-GIRLFRIEND
BUILDS
ELEMENTARY SCHOOL
KOREA
%
__
`( o`_\
\ \ ` I'M THINKING ABOUT ALLEGRA (BUT TAKING VIAGRA)
/ /
__WWWW__
( / \ )
| | | | BBBBBBBB BLUE VISION
\| |/
___vv__vv____ HHHHHHHHHH HEART ATTACK
/ `` '' \
|_____________|
/ \ nmf
(_I__I_)
%
_
, L\ I'D PREFER YOU NOT CHECK FOR LUMPS SO YOUR BOOBS GET BIGGER
\/OO\
|/ \
/_\ `
_\ |_ AP
%
.-'''''-.
|'-----'|
/`-.....-`\
| <_} | FOOD GOES IN MOUTH
| .-\-. |
_,._ | /# ` \ | (NOT IN ASS)
__.-` `"""-. | \ / |
..--' `"-. `)_,._ \ '-'-' /
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jgs `-------------`
%
:+"" ~<<::""+:
+Xi<<<<!< `<<!?!<<<HMti%L
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"X*9$$RMM!<<<?!<<~ <!<<<<MMMMM?"
!X*MM<<<<H!<<` <?<<<<<)! BA
"+:uX!<<< .::+""
FOLKS I JUST MASTURBATED TO A DVD !!!!!!!11
YES THOSE THINGS STILL EXIST
A BUCK OH FIVE
%
__
/\ `.
2^)_| I SEE TALENTED MULTIMEDIA PEOPLE
\`/(_
)/,`. WALKING AROUND LIKE REGULAR PEOPLE
__(( \/
/.--|_.L\\_ ALL THE TIME
\, \ \=
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7 (\ \...,_
| | \____| )
]_| `\) PLEASE MAKE THEM GO AWAY
/_) SK
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%
__,__ ___
__\_/__ |-|- -|- |
.---. |-|- /"-. ___|___
|-+-| '-+- ---- |
'-+-' ''"| |=|| __|__ AK
'---' `-' -'
ALOHA AND MAHALO, LISA
TRANSLATION: "HELLO AND THANK YOU, TWAT"

%
+ \\^// ~~
1 III ,o/ </> [#] (#) </> ,o/ III 1
_[#]__[#]__(#)_[_#_](_#_)_(#)__[#]__[#]_ INTERNET CHESS PEOPLE
::::: ::::: ::::: :::::
2 _ _ _ _ _ _ _ 2 PAWN TO KING'S FOUR
_(#)__(#)__(#)__(#)_ _(#)__(#)__(#)_
::::: ::::: ::::: ::::: NUTS TO MY FACE
3::::: ::::: ::::: ::::: 3
::::: ::::: ::::: ::::: QUEERS TO MY HOME
::::: ::::: ::::: :::::
4 ::::: ::::: _ ::::: :::::4 CASTLING HER IN THE TOILET
::::: :::::_(#)_::::: :::::
::::: ::::: ::::: :::::
5::::: ::::: ::::: ::::: 5
::::: ::::: ::::: :::::
::::: ::::: ::::: :::::
6 ::::: ::::: ::::: :::::6
::::: ::::: ::::: ::::: THOSE BALLS IN MY FACE
::::: ::::: ::::: ::::: ARE LIKE AN OFFICIAL STAMP
7 _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ 7
_(_)__(_)__(_)__(_)__(_)__(_)__(_)__(_)_ THERE'S A CPU IN MY DICK
+ \\^//
8 III ,o/ </> [ ] ( ) </> ,o/ III 8 BEEP BOOP
_[_]__[_]__(_)_[___](___)_(_)__[_]__[_]_
H G F E D C B A IT'S BIONIC
%
___
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| ~~~~~~~~~~~ | | ~~~~~~~~~~~ | I CAN'T BELIEVE I MISSED
| ,- _ _ ,- | | ,- _ _ ,- | BURNING MAN AGAIN
| | | | | | | | | | | |
| | | | | | | | | | | |
| | | | | | | | | | | |
| | | | | | | | | | | |
| | | | | | | | | | | |
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| | | | | | | | | | | |
| | | | | | | | | | | |
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rmcn
%
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| |/ _` | |_ / _` | '_ \ / _` | | |_ / _` / __|/ _` |/ _` |
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|_|\__, |_| \__,_|_| |_|\__, |_|_| \__,_|___/\__, |\__,_|
|___/ |___/ |___/ tQn
THIS IS WHAT WORDOLOGISTS CALL A PALINDROME
BECAUSE IT'S BORING AND NOBODY GIVES A SHIT

%
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) ;
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_____,,,,---''",,,-' IF THEY CLICK ON IT
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/~\
| _ | (BONG NOISES)
|| ||
|| || (GLUGS AND CLINKING BOTTLES)
|| ||
|| || (QUIET SOBBING ABOUT AALIYAH)
| |
`\/'
GB
%
| | [STACK OVERFLOW]
|_____|
| |
| | XMEN>
|_____|
| |
| | XMEN>
|_____|
| |
| | XMEN>
|_____|
| |
| | XMEN>
|_____|
| |
| | XMEN>
|_____|
| |
| | XMEN>
|_____|
| |
| | XMEN>
|_____|
| |
| | XMEN>
|_____|
| |
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|_____|
| |
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|_____|
| |
| | XMEN>
|_____|
tQn
%
.
. /:\ .
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( . . ) SHREK ?????
\ (_) /
\_v_/ MORE LIKE SHREK FOUR **STARS**
/\-----/\
\|-----|/CJ
| |
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|-_ -=__=-_ -==_-| BEGIN THE THAWING OF JIM NABORS
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((\ ) I HEREBY DIP MY WICK
|`-;-._
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| |
| |
| | THAT'S AN OATH
| |
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%
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.:`. ! ,':. NOW SERIOUSLY
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,':_(._.)_:`.
/|( - )|\
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\ / HOLY JESUS ***HURF***
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|\
\`-. _.._| \
|_,' __`. \ CRY HAVOC
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,' __ \ | AND LET SLIP THE ANAL ACROBATS #6, SCENE 4
,' __/||\ |
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`-'_---- /
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%
_______________________________________________________
| ___________________________________________________ |
| | | |\_ _/| |
| | | |(_\ .----. /_)| |
| | | | /| _))))))/ /.^^)^\D | |
| | | | ( | o--' a`~^^\) <((>______ | |
| | | | | | \,,, _~^^^\) `------,`. | |
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| | | | \ | >~~^^^$ ) | |
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| | | | }{\__\ | / | |
| | | | \_( /_________( / | |
| | | | | / \ | \ | | |
| | | | __ ( > ( >( > __ | |
| | | |(_/ _/ | _/ |_/ | \_)| |
| |________|________|/________'^^^`_____'^^^'^^^^`___\| |
|ZOT____________________________________________________|
IF I FOLLOW SOMEONE ON TWITTER THEN THEY'RE TERRIBLE
TAKE THAT SOCIAL MEDIA
I CALL IT "SM" TO CONTRAST IT WITH "MSM" AND MAYBE "BDSM"

%
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'|___..--|_\_|_/_|-...___|' I JUST SNEEZED REALLY HARD
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/ I JUST WATCHED AND CAN OFFICIALLY RECOMMEND
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|10 ^ || ^ {)| |(.)%%| | |%%%||A . | MY SMARTPHONE DOESN'T HAVE THE WORD
|^ ^ ^||(.)% | | |%%%| |_%%%>|| /.\ | "SOLITAIRE" IN ITS DICTIONARY !!!!!
|^ ^ ^|| | % | |_%%%O| |(_._)|
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|___0I| |____V| BOY THAT SURE DOES TELL US A LOT
_____ ABOUT THESE TIMES THAT WE LIVE IN
_____ _____ |6 |
|2 | _____ |5 || & & | WAIT I MEAN KVHGLDFBKL LKHDSFK
| & ||3 | _____ | & & || & & | _____
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________ HERE'S A LIFEHACK !!!!!
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lbd `~`----` THAT WILL REALLY HELP IN SOCIAL SITUATIONS
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MY FAVORITE PART OF THE WINTER OLYMPICS CLOSING CEREMONIES IS
WHEN PUTIN SENDS THE ATHLETES TO LABOR CAMPS IN SIBERIA
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.------------------------.
|\\//////// 90 min | TAKE / ON / ME
| \/ __ ______ __ |
| / \|\.....|/ \ | TAKE / ME / ON
| \__/|/_____|\__/ |
| A |
| ________________ |
wtx |___/_._o________o_._\___| OKAY WHO STOLE MY A-HA TAPE
%
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( `^` )) ( `^` ))
| || | ||
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LET'S ALL TOAST TO PHIL

TO PHIL
PHIL
HERE'S TO PHIL
HERE'S TO PHIL
TO PHIL
A TOAST TO PHIL
THAT PHIL
PHIL
PHIL, THE MAN
TO PHIL
CLINK CLANK BINK BONK CLINK CLONK
CAN WE GO NOW
%
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PULLING OUT MY ONLINE THESAURUS TO FIND WORDS WHICH WILL MAKE THE FAT
LADY'S REQUESTS GO AWAY (I CAN'T DO IT BECAUSE I DON'T WANT TO)
GIVING UP, PULLING THE FIRE ALARM
TOTALLY WORTH IT
%
`-.___________,-._______,-"~-.
\ SHUT THE FUCK UP ABOUT
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/______// 1 11 * * * CHMOD 666 /DEV/AUDIO /DEV/DSP # GOING ON SEVENTEEN
(______(/
JR
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( ) (
) _ ) ALL PROFESSIONAL WRESTLERS ARE COPROPHAGES
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Krogg98
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Jan Feb Mar Apr May
I HAVE A TIME MACHINE AND

THIS IS A PLOT OF ASCII ART FARTS
READERS IN THE OPENING MONTHS OF 2014
%
,
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| L.( ^_\^ THEN AUTOMATICALLY I SOUND SMART
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_______________________________________________
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:-----------------------------------------------------------------------------:
`---._.-----------------------------------------------------------------._.---'
DS
AND HERE WE HAVE KEYBOARD LESSON #293:
SHOULD NOT BE SPILLED IN YOUR KEYBOARD

%
.------. .------.
.' //`. .' `. I'M THE SIXTH LEADING CAUSE OF BALLS
/ // \ / \
| // : | ......::::: OKAY FINE FIFTH
: // | :::::'''''' |
\ // / \ /
`._// _.' `._ _.'
`"----"' `"----"' AsH
%
___________________________
| | |
|___ | ___| HA HA SOCCER STILL THINKS IT'S A SPORT
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SM
%
//
// OUR SECURITY CAN'T RISK ALTERCATIONS
// WITH THE UNDEAD
//
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| |'
| |' ARE MOST OF THE POPULATION OF BRAZIL
| |' SHEMALES OR WHAT THE FUCK PEOPLE
'~~'
lgb
%
__
.-'||'-. OKAY SO WHEN OBSERVING THIS SUPPORT FOR THE
.' || '. FIRST TIME, I BELIEVE THE GOAL IN FOOTBALL
/ __||__ \ IS TO ACCUMULATE AS MANY FLAGS AS POSSIBLE
| /`- -`\ |
| | 6 6 | | THEREFORE I DO NOT UNDERSTAND THE SCORING SYSTEM
\/\____7___/\/
.--------:\:I:II:I:/;--------.
/ \`:I::I:`/ \
| `------' |
| \____/ |
| , __ ___ , |
|======| / | / _ \ |======|
|======| ^| | | | | | |======|
|~~~~~| | | | |_| | |~~~~~|
| |\ [___] \___/ /| |
\ \| |/ /
`\ \ _ _.-=""=-._ _ / /'
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jgs ; (__|| ||__) ;
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//_ _)
( "\" FOLKS I'M A SELF-DIAGNOSED NEUROTYPICAL
\_-/
,---/ '---.
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/ \_. _|__,/ \
/ )\ )\_ \
/ _/ ( ' ) / /
/ | (_____) | /
/,' / \/ /,
_/(_ ( ._, )-'
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| ) |
| / |
| / \ |
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| | | |
| / \ |
| | \ |
| \ | \_
gnv /__( '-._`,
%
_.-'~~~~~~`-._
/ || \ CAN'T WAIT FOR THE NEW STAR WARS MOVIE
/ || \ TO FOCUS ON THE DRUG ADDICT, THE OLD MAN
| || | WHO'S PRACTICALLY FALLING ASLEEP WHILE
| _______||_______ | READING LINES, AND THE SHITTY YOUNG ACTOR
|/ ----- \/ ----- \| WHO'S NOW A SHITTY OLD ACTOR
/ ( ) ( ) \
/ \ ----- () ----- / \
/ \ /||\ / \
/ \ /||||\ / \
/ \ /||||||\ / \
/_ \o========o/ _\
`--...__|`-._ _.-'|__...--'
| `' |
%
/,,
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\,'
/`'`\ HEY REMEMBER THE SOVIET UNION ?!?!?!?!?
, YEAH ME NEITHER
,@,
,@@@,
,@@@@@,
`@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@`
`@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@`
`@@@@@@@@@@@` DR
,@@@@@@`@@@@@@,
@@@@` `@@@@
;@` `@;
_ _ _ _
( ( ( |_)
~ ~ ~ |
%
EIGHTY PERCENT OF SUCCESS IS SHOWING UP
AND PROCEEDING TO MOLEST YOUR ADOPTED DAUGHTER
%%%%
%%% ,
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%%% )( __o / 9
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)==0 ____oooo______oooo______
####### /_______________________/
######## [_______________________]
####### || | | || |
\ || ||___| |___||/
\ || || || || ||
/ // || || || ||
( || || || || ||
\ || || || || ||
)|| | == | | == |
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%
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''. |H|.'|T|`.|H|
'' ,'='=,-:-,='-'. WE CAN'T DO ANYTHING RIGHT
:-|/o\|:|;|:|/o\|-: INCLUDING SPELLING SIMPLE WORDS
., |'|---=======---|'| SUCH AS "SCARED" OR "HEART"
;:;, .,, ..,|;_.;;..;;;..;;.|;|,,. .;.
:::;|___|=========================|___| ,.
:;:;;===| .::. .:::::. .::. |===|;;;
::;;:___|_|;;;;|_|;;;;;;;|_|;;;;|_|__.::::
:;:;,,,/===/,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,\===\::;;;;
l42::/===/:::::::::::::::::::::::\===\;:;:
%
/\ ,
{Oo\{o\ .=. OKAY I'VE GOT THE STATE OF THE UNION IN ONE WINDOW
{o: \:.\ / \ AND MYFREECAMS IN THE OTHER
{O:' \:.-'_.-\_)____
{o:. /`~('-./-----.\ I'M CURRENTLY UNABLE TO TELL WHICH ONE IS
}o: // /| `/\ FAILING TO GIVE ME AN ERECTION
{O:'// /-' /\/\
}o-/( <___ \'/ /\/\/\ ON THE ONE HAND, OBAMA LATELY GIVES DRONING AND
/o./ ;--._)====* -\/\/\/ EASILY FORGOTTABLE SPEECHES PLUS THE STATE
`"`\ \ /.\ `""` OF THE UNION IS THE MOST BORING OF ALL
\ \ POSSIBLE PRESIDENTIAL SPEECHES
\ \
jgs /`\ ) ON THE OTHER, THIS CAMGIRL IS SINGING
|/| | AND SINGING BADLY AT THAT
_// \|
| / || BUT THEN AGAIN THE WAY SHE MOUNTED THE
|/ / | DILDO BELOW THE CAMERA TO SIMULATE A
`\| FIRST-PERSON EXPERIENCE WAS VERY PRESIDENTIAL
'
SO EH I DON'T KNOW IT'S A WASH
%
/|
/'||
| ||
| ||
| || TODAY I DID NOT FART ONCE
| || (EXCEPT DURING DUMP)
| ||
| ||
| ||
| ||
| ||
| ||
| ||
| ||
| ||
| ||
| || __.--._
| || /~~ __.-~\ _
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| || // / /~/ .- \ /~-\
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\ |||||||||||(~-(..___)$/ / / /' /$$$%$$$%$$$ |
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~~""""""""""-\.(____) / /' /$$$$$%%$$$$$$\_ /
$|===||| /' /$$$$$$$%%%$$$$$( ~ ,'|
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///\ $|===|/' /$$$$$$%$$$$$$$%%%%$( /'
\///\|===| /$$$$$$$$$%%$$$$$$%%%%$\_-._ |
`\//|===| /$$$$$$$$$$$%%%$$$$$$-~~~ ~ /
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| """"''''' ___,,,,ss$$$%
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,%%%%$$$$$$$$$$\;;;;\$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$%%%$.
,%%%%%%$$$$$$$$$$%\;;;;\$$$$$$$$$$$$%%%$$$$
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,%%%%%%%%%$$$$$$$$%$$$$$$\;;;;\$$$$$$%%$$$$$$$$
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$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$====""""
TX """""""""~~~~
%
__
.-'||'-.
.' || '. I DON'T REALLY CARE WHO WINS
/ __||__ \ THE SUPER BOWL THIS YEAR JUST SO
| /`- -`\ | LONG AS SOMEBODY BREAKS PEYTON
| | 6 6 | | MANNING'S NECK
\/\____7___/\/
.--------:\:I:II:I:/;--------.
/ \`:I::I:`/ \
| `------' |
| \____/ |
| , __ ___ , |
|======| / | / _ \ |======|
|======| ^| | | |_| | |======|
|~~~~~| | | | |_| | |~~~~~|
| |\ [___] \___/ /| |
\ \| |/ /
`\ \ _ _.-=""=-._ _ / /'
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; (__|| ||__) ;
; ___\ /___ ;
'. ---/-=..=-\--- .'
`""` `""` jgs+tQn
%
__ __
,;::\::\
,'/' `/'`/ WHAT'S THE NAME OF THE CONDITION WHERE YOU'RE
_\,: '.,-'.-':. TIRED OF PEOPLE TROTTING OUT NAMES OF CONDITIONS
-./"' : : :\/, TO EXPLAIN WHY THEY'RE BEING DICKS, WHY THEY DON'T
::. ,:____;__; :- HAVE TO EVEN TRY TO ACT NORMALLY, AND WHY THEY GET
:" ( .`-*'o*',); TO IMMEDIATELY PLAY THE VICTIM CARD WHENEVER
\.. ` `---'`' / THEY'VE BEEN THE ONE WHO HAS BEEN EXTREMELY RUDE,
`:._..- _.' INSENSITIVE, OR DOWNRIGHT AWFUL TO SOMEONE ELSE
,; . `. ESPECIALLY WHEN THEY ARE OFTEN "SELF-DIAGNOSED" ???
/"'| | \
::. ) : :
|" ( \ | OH RIGHT
:.(_, : ;
\'`-'_/ / NEUROTYPICAL
`... , _,'
|,| : |
|`| | |
|,| | |
,--.;`| | '..--.
/;' "' ; '..--. ))
\:.___(___ ) ))'
SSt`-'-''
%
.
____/_
\== .'__===_| WELCOME TO S.S. DIPSHIT
\_ _ _ /"---' \/
|_|_|_|_\_______\______
`.==-------------------|_ I MEAN YAY SUPER BOWL MAY THE BEST TEAM WIN
LGB `.___________________/
%
@@@@@@@@
@@@ \| \ NOOOO !!!! THE ${FILL_IN_WINNING_SPORTS_TEAM}S
@@@@@ (*) (*) WON !!!!!!!1111 HOW COULD THE ${COMPETITOR}S
@@@@@@ \ \ HAVE LET THAT HAPPEN ?!?!?!?!/1/1/1/1/
@@@@@@ __) )
@@@@@@ ________( _ | |
@@@@@@ /|/|/|/|/ | ' |__|
@@@@@ | A |_|| _ | |
@@@@@ | /| /| /| |_| | |
ejm97 @@ \/_|/_|/_| | |
@@@@ \
@@@@@@ _______)
) (
%
. . .
. . -)------+====+ .
-)----==== ,' ,' . .
. `. `.,;___,' .
`, |____l_\
_,.....------c==]""______ |,,,,,,.....____ _
. . "-:______________ |____l_|]''''''''''' . .
,'"",'. `.
. -)-----==== `. `. LS
. -)-------+====+ . .
. .
NOW THAT THE SUPER BOWL'S OVER WE CAN ALL CONCENTRATE

ON HOW GREAT STAR WARS EPISODE VII WILL BE SINCE THEY'LL
BE SURE TO CAST PHILIP SEYMOUR HOFFMAN IN A SIGNIFICANT ROLE
OH
OHHHHHHHH
%
______________________________________________________
__________|___________,_______________________________
__________|__________//,______________________________ POMPEII FACT:
__________|__________\|/;..___________________________
__________|___________\\//\,._________________________ WHO GIVES A SHIT
__________|___________/ '\/_________________________
__________|__________/,* _ |_________________________
__________|_________( ) ( ) (_________________________
__________|__________\( " \________________________
__________|____________) \\______________________
__________|___________( \\\___________________
__________|____________\ ( \\ \\\_________________
__________|____________(\ \\ \\ \\\_______________
__________|_____________\\ \\ \\ \\\_____________
__________|______________\\ \\ \\ \\____________
__________|_______________\\ \\ \\ \\___________
__________|________________\-\ \\\ \\\\___________
__________|_________________\ /\_ \\\ \\___________
__________|__________________(( \-___- \\\__________
__________|___________________\ \_______ \\\_________
__________|____________________\ \_______ \\\________
__________|_____________________\ \________\\\_______
__________|______________________\ \________\\\______
__________|_______________________\ \________\\______
__________|________________________(--)_______________
__________|___________________________________________
__________|___________________________________________
bni
%
_.._..,_,_
( )
]~,"-.-~~[ TODAY I WENT TO THE GROCERY STORE, CONSIDERED BUYING
.=])' (; ([ BEER AND GETTING DRUNK, AND DECIDED *AGAINST* IT
| ]:: ' [
'=]): .) ([ THIS IS THE DAWN OF A NEW, BORING ERA
|:: ' |
PMH ~~----~~
%
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( ) \ o ,...., HONEY THE WINTER OLYMPICS ARE ABOUT TO START
/, _) (\_ |:::::
.\\__| \ \ (::::: PLEASE TAKE THIS BULLET AND LOAD IT INTO
/\\ | \_\ \;;; MY FIREARM AND SHOOT ME IN THE FUCKING FACE
( |)| \ \__)_(__
| | \ )
| | \ |
| | __ | :/
| | | \ |_____|
| | | \/ |
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%
____ ____
_,',--.`-. _,',--.`-.
<_ ( () ) > ( <_ ( () ) > ATTENTION EVERYONE
`-:__;,-' \ À:__:,-'
\ / \ SORRY IF I'M A LITTLE TEARY RIGHT NOW
(( )
\-' BUT I JUST HAD THE FIRST
-Shimrod \ HONEST SHIT I'VE HAD IN DECADES
\
( )
`-'"`-----'
%
_
/(_))
_/ / WELP OFF TO THE PEPPERMILL
// /
// /
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^^ <__> \()
//||\\
//_||_\\ ds
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UPDATED SITE !!!!1 TELL ME WHAT YOU THINK !!!11 [SEND FEEDBACK]
REDESIGNED MAIN PAGES AND GIF!!11 LIKE IT?!?!/1/ [SEND FEEDBACK]
ADDED FRAMES!!11 LIKE 'EM?!?!? HATE 'EM!?!?!?!/ [SECOND FEEDBACK]
THINKING ABOUT TAKING THIS SITE DOWN, COMMENTS/QUESTIONS ?? [SEND FEEDBACK]

%
|\ | | ||\ \ /(_~ |~)|_~|\/||_~|\/||~)|_~|~)
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\ //~\| | |\ |~)|_~ | ||\ ||/~\| ||_~
| \_/\_/ |~\|~\|__ \_/| \||\_X\_/|__
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_____ _____ _____ _____

.' '. .' '. .' '. .' '.
/ o o \ / o o \ / o o \ / o o \
| | | | | | | |
| \ / | | \ / | | \ / | | \ / |
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P.S. CHOKE ON IT FAGGOT

%
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|-'//`-'|\//||// ,' ` ' "' M|`.
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\========/ AM I THE FIRST ONE TO THINK OF THAT EVER OR WHAT ?!?!?!
hjw `------' WRITE BACK
%
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____
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( '7')
__)(^_ MATURITY MEANS
/ ,C^D,\ THAT YOU LET THE BEER
/ /||:||\\ FILL UP YOUR LEG
\ \|/:\|// RATHER THAN PEE
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_____ DID SOMEONE SAY MOLESKIN ?!?!?!?!?!?
\"_ _"/
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sjw----""(((:-.,_,.-:)))""--------
CARRY ON
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( )
( LET'S SMOKE THIS PEACE PIPE
_
__| |
==+===[_____\ NOW GIVE US YOUR FUCKING LAND
|
/|\
|||
\|/
` -shimrod
%
(,
_ /| MICHAEL J. COCKS !!1111
{())/ |
,)_,,((( /
`___ ))|
` ,
/ `,
/`-- '\ GET IT ?!?!?!?!
\` `.`
\| \|
ejm _;_) _;_)
-'-'- -'-'-
%
___
.dSSSS$$pp..
.dSSSS$$$$$$$$;
.dSSSS$$$$$$$$$$$
:SSP^" T$$$$$$$$$$b_ I'M PUTTING A TIGER IN MY TANK !!!!1
dSSP $$$S$$$$$$$b`
dSS$;_. .:$$$SS$$$$$$b AND FOOD IN MY MOUTH !!!1111
dSS$$$_ ; __."^TSS$$$$$b
dSS$$P;" ""' :lSS$$$$$b
:SS$$$ ; ::SS$$$$$$b_. THEN I'LL SADDLE UP TO SOME
SSS$$$ : ` ;:SS$$$$$$$bp. STRAWBERRY SHORTCAKE
:SS$$$$b \ -=- .-" SSS$$$$$$$$$$b
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:SS$$$$$$$; ""T :$$$SS$$$$$$$$P^^t--'
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: ;: .' .-" / \
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:-' : "-. "-._ ---""" /;
; : : \ "-._....____;
: : \ :\ `. \
; ; \ \\ \ \ ;
: : `. \\ \ \ :
; ; ;"-t\ `. \ :
: : : `; \ ;
; ; ; : \ /
: : / ; \-..__ .';
: ; / : ; """T ;
: / / ; \ : ; ;
;/ : : \ ; ; ;
; ; ; ; : ; ;
/ : : : ; ; ;
/ ; :; : ; ;
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`""--..__; :_; __ ;____;.-;';
;.__.: :..t-"" j" ; ;
: ; ; ;--"" \ [bug] ; ;
; : ; : \ ; ;
: \ ; ; ;. ; ;
\ \ ; : / ; ; ;
\ \ ; : ; ; ;
\ `-. ; ; .' ; ;
\ \ ;___/ /______;.-'
\ ---; / /
;______: .-' /
'-------'
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______________________________________
| |
_.---------|.--. |
.-' ` .'/ `` |
.-' .' | /| |
.-' | / `.__// |
.-' _.--/ / |
| _ .-' / / |
| ._ \ / ` / |
| ` . / ` / |
| \ \ '/ / |
| - \ / /| |
| ' .' / | |
| ' |.'| |
| | | |
| | |______________________________________|
| |.'
| /
| /
| /
) /| TODAY IS THE GREATEST DAY OF MY LIFE
.A/`-. / |
AMMMA. `-._ / / NOW I AM AN AMERICAN CITIZEN
AMMMMMMMMA. `-. / /
AMMMMMMMMMMMMA. `. / FUCK MY BROWN ASS
AMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMA.`. /
MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMA.`.
MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMA.`.
MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMA.
MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMA.
MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM
MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMV'
VK
%
_________
/' /|
/ / |_
/ / //|
/_________/ ////| COLUMBINE / COLUMBINE
| _ _ | 8o////|
| /'// )_ | 8///| COLUM-YOURS / AND COLUMN-MINE
|/ // // ) | 8o///|
/ // // //,| / 8//|
/ // // /// | / 8//|
/ // // ///__|/ 8//|
/.(_)// /// | 8///|
(_)' `(_)//| | 8////|___________
(_) /_\ (_)'| | 8///////////////
(_) \"/ (_)'|_| 8/////////////
(_)._.(_) d' Hb 8oooooooopb'
`(_)' d' H`b
d' `b`b
d' H `b
d' `b `b
d' `b
d' `b
%
___________
[===| _ |====]
| |_ ||
| |_ | ||
| _||\/| || CHECK OUT MY JERKOFF TOWEL
| | | ||
| || ALSO CALLED A "WANG RAG"
ejm97 |==========||
|==========||
'"'""""'"'"'|
| |
'""'"""'"'"'
%
_..
/}_{\ /.-' MARU, PLEASE STOP STARING AT ME WHILE I BEAT OFF
( a a )-.___...-'/
==._.== ; HERE, HERE'S A BOX TO PLAY WITH TO DISTRACT YOU
\ i _..._ /,
{_;/ {_// fsc
%
___ ________________________ ___ ________________________ ___
I I I I I I I I
I I I I I I I I
IHI I I IHI I I
I I I I I I I I
I I I I I I I I
I I I I I I I I
I I O I-I I I O I-I
I I I I I I I I
I I I I I I I I
I I I I I I I I
IHI I I IHI I I
I I I I I I I I
___I I________________________I I___I I________________________I I___
I (_( )___( )_) I (_( )___( )_) I
I I_I I_I I I I I I I CN
_H_ <$> <$> _H_ <#> <#> _H_
WELCOME TO THESTALL.COM
TODAY IS NOT OFF TO A GOOD START IS IT

%
.
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' ` __
\ \ .-:'.-'
) ) / /
\ '-'' '
, '` -.\ I'M MUHAMMAD ALI
./ O o `_
`---o--'. PUNCH DUH FORGET
\ \|/ /
.###._.'._ CONFUSED NOW
'#####'H '
=== /'#####'HH,\ \========== PUNCH DUH SIT
(__.###'HHH ` )
\ ( ) /'-' THINKING I'M A KITTEN
\-----/
| | \ ALZHEIMUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUH
`-- `--
( ) \ )
| | | |
| | | |
kOs '-' `-`\.
/ \ ( `-.
(____) `--._.'
===== ===
%
.".".".
(` `) _.-=-.
'._.--.-; .-` -' '.
.-'`.o ) \ / .-_.--' `\
`;---) \ ; / / ;' _-_.-' `
`;"` ; \ ; . .' _-' \
( ) | | / .-.-' -`
'-.-' \ | .' ` '.-'-\`
/_./\_.|\_\ ; ' .'-'.-.
/ '-._ \` / _;-,
| .-=-.;-._ \ -'-, I'M A COCKMOCKER
\ / `";`-`,-"`)
\ \ '-- `\.\ IN THAT I MOCK COCKS
'. '._ '-- '--'/
`-._ `'----'`;
`"""--.____,/
\\ \
// /`
___// /__
jgs (`(`(---"-`)
%
_.---._
.' / '.
/ _/ \
/ .-'` '. \ WHO WERE THE CHEESE SKIRTS
.' | ^ _ ^ | '.
.' \ _ / \
/ '.___.' '.
| _.' '._ \
| .' `"---"` '. |
\ | | /
\ | | | | /
\ | :--"""--: | /`
) | | | | (
/ \.'-.....-'./ \
/ .' / ;|:| \ '. |
.-._ \_.-' .' / ' . : '. '. /
| \``` .' ; \ `:
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.--'\ | ' ' . `-._
/`;--' /_.' . `-.
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\ .' ' '-. |
\ ' ' __\ |
'. . _.-' `) /
'-._ _.-' `| .-` _.'
`'--....____.--'| (` _.-'
jgs / | | \ `"`
\__/ \__/ WHO INDEED
%
. .
+ : .
: _ I THOUGHT THE COSMOS REMAKE WAS OKAY EXCEPT
. ! ' (_) I FOUND THE FOUR-MINUTE SEQUENCE AT THE END
,|.' WHERE NEIL DEGRASSE TYSON RECOUNTED HOW
- -- ---(-O-`--- -- - CARL SAGAN TRIED TO MOLEST HIM IN ITHACA
,`|'`. REALLY OVERWROUGHT AND DEPRESSING
, ! .
: : "
. --+--
.: . !
O!o

Fortune

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Fortune

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|\

JACK MCCOY IS INDICTING YOU FOR

HOLY GOD I NEED TOOL

TAKE US TO YOUR LEADER WE COME IN PEACE

I THINK I STOPPED | WHAT WE NEED HERE

HOLY GOD I'M

SHOE ME IN THE NUTS AND CALL ME SALLY

LOOK AT THE WATER CLOSET TO THE RIGHT OF ME

__.--'\ \.__./ /'--.__

I LIKE TO BASH MY OWN

I CAN SEE YOU'RE NOT WEARING CLEAN UNDERWEAR

MY BIG STUPID HEAD IS IDEAL

I'M PAINTING A PICTURE OF MY DONG

WHAT THE FUCK AM I SUPPOSED TO BE

YOU'D JUMP LIKE THIS TO IF YOU

DON'T FORGET TO SNORT/SMOKE IT

I'M A PILE OF DOGSHIT

A LITTLE HELP PLEASE ,_-=(!7(7/zs_.

CLEAR A PATH TO THE TOILET

I HAVE TO STAND LIKE THIS BECAUSE MY OWNER SHOVED A STICK UP ME

SHUT THE FUCK ALL OF YOU

HARD TO TELL WHAT I AM ISN'T IT

RIBBED FOR HER PLEASURE

USA Cow Nerd USA Cow EXTREMELY GAY COW

MORE LIKE BLORK !!!!!!!!! AM I RIGHT FOLKS ??????????????

WHO STOLE MY FUCKING HEAD NOW I AM

.d888888888b d8b d8b .d888888888b

ME LICKY LONG TIME !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

LOUIE ANDERSON + ROSANNE = THE CONTENTS OF MY BOWELS ON YOUR CARPET

RECYCLE !!!!!! BE SURE TO PUT THOSE

JESUS SAVES !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

SUCK YOU ALL NIGHT LONG !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

SORRY I FORGOT MY PITCHFORK

WHAT THE FUCK

-------- __@ __@ __@ __@ __~@

POP QUIZ !!!!!!!!!!! WHO'S GAYEST ??????????????????

WHY THE ONE WITH THE BONER OF COURSE !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

THIS REALLY HURTS CALL A COP

GET IT ????? IT MEANS NO TAURUS DICKS

I'M DRIVEN BY A PEDOPHILE

PUT THAT TIGHT ASS OF YOURS ON ME

ON SECOND THOUGHT WHAT THE HELL

GIVE ME ALL YOUR MONEY OR I'LL PLAY STAIRWAY

I SWEAR TO FUCKING GOD I'LL DO IT FORK IT OVER

EPISODE V: THE EMPIRE SUCKS DICK

YOU ARE GETTING VERY SLEEPY

THAT CREEPY LITTLE FAGGOT

LET'S ALL BE GAY FOR CHRISTMAS

OH NO IT'S POISON IVY !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

IT'S THE QUEERSCAPADES !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

THIS MEANS YOU

I PICTURE EACH ONE OF THE CHOCOLATE SQUARES

YOUR DICK GOES HERE

MORE LIKE A CHOKE !!!!!!!

AM I RIGHT PEOPLE ???????

SLEEPY HEAD, SLEEPY HEAD

... ....... .o----------o. ...---o

THE H BUTTON SENDS HOOKERS

SOME ASSHOLE SEVERED MY HEAD

EVERYBODY FUCKING HATES YOU

I AIN'T 'FRAID OF NO COCKSUCKERS

'|| ||' | '||''|. .|'''.|

WHERE NO MAN HAS SUCKED BEFORE ...

.--'\ \../ /'--.__

-------- @ @ @ @ __~@

* FARTIFIED !!!!! MIT IODINE !!!!! *

PLEASE DON'T MAKE ME SUCK YOU OFF AGAIN

_ _ _ _ ____ _ _____ _ _ _

____ _ _ _ ___