REVISION ON INTERCULTURAL COMMUNICATION

I. Test Format

Question 1: (6pts)

State what you know about one cultural issue (give examples or make comparison
between Vietnamese culture and others to illustrate your answers)

Cultural issue is generally understood as misunderstanding or wrong perception

about other cultures and the most common cultural problem existing in every nation is
cultural difference. Even though people from diverse cultures are taught in the
educational environment to overcome this global obstacle, a lack of understanding of
cultural or social norms still happen regularly due to the fact that learners do not have
much chance to comprehend it practically and apply in realistic situations. Besides, this
appears in every social class, even in the intelligentsia. Specifically, Vietnamese culture
when compared to the US ones, the same actions or situations but the ways they behave
and interact are totally different. Firstly, in making a small talk to begin a conversation as
well as to get to know each other easier, while Vietnamese tend to ask many questions
about individual life such as marriage condition or education background, Americans
choose to ask some typical ones like health or weather condition, neighborhood.......,
which do not affect to much on personal issues. This is due to the fact that Vietnamese
are friendly, they treat everyone else as brothers or sisters, resulting in the fact that they
are not too cautious or worried about angering other people, they ask those questions as a
way to connect and strengthen the relationships. In contrast, the Amerians look up to
human rights and they respect others` privacy, they would neglect all the private
questions and fos on simple and comfortable ones. Secondly, child raising is always
taken into granted for both cultures. To Americans, it is not common for parents top put a
newborn in a seperate room that belongs only to the child, helping to preserve and build
personal independence. Moreover, they let children make their decisions and responsible
for their actions. In the contrary, Vietnamese families consider their children to be their
most precious treasure, so they supervise strictly on the child`s schedule to ensure that he
will be safe and protected, leading to the lack of privacy and independence. The child
may feel exhausted and stressed. Finally, in the entertainment aspect, Vietnamese cultural
loves silence and simplicity, which is the reason why at the weekends, people are keen on
gathering with family and friends to rest and confabulate about everything. On the other
hand, Americans fond of parties or any place which is energetic, they choose dynamic
and noisy places to have fun and entertain to forget pressure and stress.

Question 2: (4pts)

Explain or make a comparison about one issue/feature in different cultures.

II. Questions
1. Ways the English/American and the Vietnamese make introductions.
Similarites and differences.
* Certain analogies
- look up to the custom of handshaking: quickest and common way to show
friendliness
- handshake must be firm: sign of sincerity, foundation to strengthen faith
- establish a small talk: maitain conversations and lead to interesting discussions
* Disparities are obvious
- Time of handshake: V appreciate long one as a sign of truthful and dependable
E few seconds, confusion and bad impression
- Small talk:
- Hug and kiss custom: show respect and honest, some might feel rude and
intimidated

2. Addressing terms in the English and Vietnamese culture.

Since the dawn of humankind on Earth, we have well established our domination upon
the Earth and as our territory spreads all over the world, our population does the same.
This creates the diversity in culture in each designated area. Specifically, we will discuss
the difference between addressing terms in Vietnam versus in the USA. First and
foremost, there are many expressions that are used in English-speaking countries but not
in Vietnam. The most noticeable examples are "Thank you" and "Sorry". In the USA,
people will say "thank you" frequently as a polite response to different kinds of favors
and compliments, and it's almost done instinctively. It is completely different in Vietnam
where these terms are more often than not kept in the heart instead of saying out-loud.
When you do something for someone in Vietnam, you will rarely hear the term "Thank
you" but you can clearly notice their gratitude through their facial expression and
normally you will get something in return. This difference is based on the fact that
Americans think that saying sorry and thank you expresses brave action while most
Vietnamese people often see having to apologize as an act of self-indulgence.

Secondly, dirvectness while speaking is perceived drastically differently in the two

countries. In America, direct-honesty and frankness are more important to Americans
than “saving face”. They are quick to get to the main point and typically do not spend too
much time on formal social amenities. They prefer talking over disagreements and trying
to patch up misunderstanding themselves rather than asking a third party to mediate
disputes. Many expressions in the USA also exemplify their directness in verbal
communication such as: "Don’t beat around the bush”, “ Let’s get down to business” or
“Let's get to the point”. If they don’t like sth, they will say directly “ I don’t like it”.
However, Vietnamese people, who value ingenuity and softness, are careful in the
communication process, value courtesy and at the same time solve problems, often value
the process more than Americans, accept compromise and avoid conflicts. It is also
considered rude to say directly: "I disagree with you" or “You’re wrong” in most
situations.

Last but not least, silence is interpreted by Vietnamese people in a different way
compared to Americans. In the USA, even two or three seconds of silence can become
uncomfortable as they consider silence in a conversation to mean disapproval,
disagreement or unsuccessful communication. They often try to fill silence by saying sth
even if they have nothing to say. According to some Japanese, Americans ask too many
questions and do not give the other person enough time to formulate a careful answer. In
contrast, Vietnamese, as well as most Asian people, long silence are tolerated to create an
appropriate answer and to not interrupt the others, which makes the Americans think
Asian people appear too passive and uninterested in the conversation.

3. Cultural conflicts in two different cultures.

A cultural conflict is a dislike, hostility, or struggle between communities who have
different philosophies and ways of living, resulting in contradictory aspirations and
behaviors.
4. Ways to adjust to a new culture.
Living in a culture that is different from your own can be both an exciting
adventure and a challenging process. Regardless of what country you are from,
it is common for all international students to go through a period of cultural
adjustment. Understanding this adjustment process and getting support through
this transition will help you to have a more fulfilling experience, both
academically and personally.

Strategies to cope with the adjustment process

 Be open-minded and curious

Adjusting to a new culture does not mean that you have to change your
own values, but it is important to respect those of other people. When you
find yourself in an unfamiliar situation, try to think of it as a new
adventure. Allow yourself to be curious about the way things are
perceived and done in this new environment.
 Use your observation skills
Since you will encounter unfamiliar rules and norms, observing how
others are acting in situations can help you understand what behavior is
expected of you. Pay attention to both the verbal and nonverbal
communication of others in order to get a more complete picture of what
is going on.
 Give yourself (and others) permission to make mistakes
You will inevitably make mistakes as you explore a new culture. If you
can find the humor in these situations and laugh at them, others will likely
respond to you with friendliness and support. Keep in mind that others will
 probably make mistakes, too; when someone makes an inaccurate
assumption or a generalized statement about your culture, it may be due
to a lack of information. If you're comfortable with doing so, this can be an
opportunity to share information with others about yourself and your
culture.

 Seek out support from other international students

Many international students find it helpful to discuss their concerns with
others who are going through similar transitions. Talking with others
about their adjustment to the new culture can provide ideas and insights
about your own experience. Ask for help when you need it. Asking for
assistance or an explanation does not have to be considered a sign of
weakness. Understanding others and making yourself understood in a
new language (or context) requires lots of rephrasing, repeating and
clarification.
 Be patient - don't try to understand everything immediately
The process of adjusting to a new culture requires time. It may also
require a different amount of time for different areas of adjustment. Try to
encourage yourself to be patient with this experience and not be overly
critical of yourself.
 Find a cultural ally
An American friend (or another international student who has been in the
U.S. for several years) can be a great consultant on cultural expectations.
When you have questions or need a second opinion on something, this
person can help clarify confusions and provide support as you adjust to
your new environment.
5. Non-verbal communication in the English and Vietnamese culture.
Nowadays together with spoken language, non-verbal
communication plays an indispensable role in international society.
It sometimes accompanies and reinforces linguistic symbols, and
sometimes can express more meaning than verbal language. There
is a variety of non-verbal communication in the English style.
Firstly, beckoning with an index finger means “come here”. Due to
the fact that to some non-native speakers or tourists, it may seem
rude or even insulting, it is more acceptable to beckon with the
palm down, with fingers or the whole hand waving. Secondly,
making a “V” sign is among the most popular signs in English
when it is widely used in regular life. This means victory when
people take their palm away from other people. Furthermore, if
anyone faces their palm in, the same gesture means “Shove it”.
Finally is the way the English smile. This gesture is universally
understood. However, it varies in every culture, especially in the
United States. Owing to the vast immigration to dreamland, it
integrates many cultures from different regions all around the
world, people here choose to smile for a different reason than the
people in the more homogeneous nations. In the countries with
more immigrants, people smiled in order to bond socially.
Compared to the less-diverse nations, they were more likely to say
smiles were a sign someone “wants to be a close friend of yours.”
But in the countries that are more uniform, people were more
likely to smile to show they were superior to one another. Besides
that, non-verbal communication in Viet Nam has also developed in
numerous ways. To convey respect and other traditional values,
non-verbal gestures, such as gentle bows, friendly smiles, are the
best choices for Vietnamese as they love simplicity. From early
age, Vietnamese children have been taught strictly to avoid direct
eye-contact, especially with older people and those of higher status
because looking straight into the eyes of listeners means they are
looking them down and there is no sign of respect. Secondly, for
many Vietnamese, a sweet smile is another nonverbal symbol used
to convey apology for a minor offense, such as a late coming to
 class or to express embarrassment instead of doing nothing and
standing there. Smiling is also considered to be the quickest way to
communicate or show a friendly attitude when verbal expression is
unnecessary or inappropriate. Those circumstances include
compliment, thank and greeting in which a happy smile is used to
substitute for "I'm sorry", "Thank you", "Hi!" and so on.

6. Male – female relations in different cultures.

Male – female relation varies in international society when
each country has its own perspective about this opposite
relationship. England, Viet Nam, and Japan are considered to be
the case-in-points for this topic. First of all, in England, men and
women socialize and collaborate freely to contribute to society and
develop a variety of relationships. Single people of opposite sexes
can be close friends without doubt and prejudices and furthermore,
they can share their personal issues with each other which won`t be
interrupted by romantic feelings. Besides, to couples, they may
date with or without the intention of getting married as they see it
as a way to experience and chance to know more about themselves.
Married men and women sometimes consider each other best
friends as spouses. They also socialize with members of the
opposite sex. This does not mean there is no limitation between
these relationships. There are still some invisible constraints
existing to prevent them from getting too far. Secondly, the role of
male-female relations in Viet Nam nowadays are always
acknowledged to be crucial when Vietnamese are often easy-going
and look up to the opposite sex’s relationship. Male children can
get to know and make friends with female ones without being shy
or reluctant. Opposite sex relations also appear in work
relationships as an effective tool to integrate to a new environment
and collect more experience. But the contrary happens, it turns into
a marriage relationship when a wife often has to obey the
husband’s family rules and quarrels or arguments seem to be rude
or disrespectful. Moreover, the wife finds it hard to have an
 opposite sex friend when she gets married due to the fact that the
husband can easily envy and make a fuss about it, leading to
domestic violence or even divorces. Finally, this kind of relation in
Japan often causes arguments when many people suppose it to be a
prejudice. Throughout history the relationship between men and
women in Japan has been constantly changing. In ancient times
men and women had the same rights within families; leaders were
women as well as men. In the Nara period things changed and men
started to have more power within the aristocracy and, after many
years, women started to lose their succession and heir rights in the
families. The woman’s role was limited to nurturing children and
handling the family`s chores. In contrast, men's role is to be the
breadwinner to make a living for the whole family and have all the
power to control every significant aspect of the family.

7. Family values in the English and Vietnamese culture.

There are several similarities and differences between the
perception of family values in English and Vietnamese culture.
The analogies of this are obvious. First of all, family is always
taken into granted between these two cultures. A family is the
foundation for everyone`s growth and people of these cultures
understand and respect that. They learn and inculcate their family`s
rules in their mind to obey and pass down to the next generations.
Secondly, family always helps each other whenever someone has
trouble. In Vietnam, parents or children are willing to show up or
support enthusiastically when anyone in the family gets stuck in
any situation. They tide and strengthen the relationship as
Vietnamese usually look up to loyalty and friendliness, especially
to whom they share the same consanguinity. Whereas in English
culture, people tend to find help and depend on their family
because they believe in their mind that staying strong and together
is the best key to overcome any obstacle. In contrast, the disparities
of these two cultures vary in various aspects of society. First is the
 perception of the size of an ideal family. Vietnamese ones suppose
that parents should give birth to children as much as possible. They
love having an extended family so that whenever there is a special
occasion for family gathering, it will look huge and bring the sense
of warmth and protection. However, families in English culture
have the antonym thinking when those countries always appreciate
human rights, each family member shares a different mindset
leading to family quarrels or even domestic violence, they consider
a nuclear family is the best choice when everyone can have privacy
and live in the ways they desire without any interruption. Finally,
child raising is the most conspicuous feature which shows the
difference. In Vietnam, children are always considered to be the
family`s treasure, so the growth of each child is carefully
supervised and instructed by family members, especially parents or
grandparents to lead them to success quickly and nurture the next
generations. It is a good aspect of Vietnamese society life but
sometimes it may cause serious conflicts when the child may take
too much responsibility, and pressure and they might get depressed
and exhausted. Whereas to people who follow English culture,
human rights and independence are two major points in
formulating a child's personality, so it is not uncommon for
English parents to put a newborn in a separate room that belongs
only to the child. This helps to preserve the parents`s privacy and
allows the child to get used to living and working independently,
the first step toward personal development. Every child is
encouraged to cut the apron strings to experience and learn about
the world by themselves.

8. Educational Attitudes in Vietnam and in other English-speaking countries.

Differences between American and Vietnamese Education

Systems
1. Teaching style (Student – Teacher relationship): In the Vietnamese classroom, the
emphasis of teaching is on theoretical knowledge rather than class discussion. Students
learn and take notes without understanding the origin and reason behind the knowledge,
as well as without implementing the knowledge in real-life situations. This is due to the
large class sizes in Vietnamese public schools. With large class sizes and each class
ranging from 30 – 45 students, in this environment students don’t actively interact and
ask teachers questions. For private schools, class sizes are typically under 25 students.
In terms of teaching curriculum, teachers in Vietnam focus heavily on textbooks. For
students, mastering concepts from the textbook is the most important thing, because
students will be required to recall concepts or material from the textbook on different
exams. This textbook focus leads to outdated knowledge as students are not able to
analyze the current economic, social and political situation of Vietnam based on the
information they learn in class.
Whereas in the United States, besides teaching new lessons, teachers encourage and
emphasize the importance of class discussion and participation. Students listen to the
teacher, but also speak up about their opinions and discuss questions with the teachers.
They also have the chance to bring the classroom knowledge to practice through doing
performing laboratory experiments or taking field trips. In American private schools, the
class size can be as small as 10 students. The small class sizes allow for discussion and
let students be more involved in the lessons, leading to a profound understanding of the
subject matter. Additionally, in American schools, teachers integrate current news into
the teaching curriculum, where applicable. Students are encouraged to gather news for
discussion in the related classes.

2. Academic Awards (Competition): Vietnamese middle and high school students are
encouraged, sometimes pushed to participate in different competitions, both regional and
national. Students who are in a “Highly Selective Class” (Lớp chuyên) for certain
subjects such as Math, Science, and English are expected to study the breadth and
depth of that subject and enroll in different competitions. Scoring in the top 3 in these
national competitions will give students extra points on the high school or college
entrance exam, depending on grade level. Therefore, Vietnamese students are highly
incentivized to take extra classes outside of school (Lò luyện thi or Lớp học them) and
study hard to perform well in those competitions. Compared to American schools,
students are encouraged but not required to participate in competitions. Students who
wish to enter competitions generally must actively research the competition and register
on their own.

3. Homework
- Viet Nam: too much homework: theoretical and boring one to revise the knowledge,
almost everyday, hardly have time to rest

- English countries: project, practical assigment to stimulate creativity and independence

learning, make research from many sources and documents.
 9. Wedding ceremony in Vietnam and in the United Kingdom / the United States
(similarities and differences).

Each country in the world has its own traditional customs because of differences
culture. People who like discovering traditions and customs of other countries find
it hard to concentrate on the whole matter at a same time.

“Wedding customs” is an interesting topic. It attracts much care of young pepole.

Wedding is very important to one’s life, not only to the couple involved but also
for both families. Thus, it usually includes quite a few formal ritual observances.
The process of wedding in Vietnam (an Asian country) and England (a Western
country) is different from each other.

Similarities in wedding customs of VietNam and England .

In every nation, a wedding is organized with many formal ritual observances.

Vietnamese and English both have engagement and wedding ceremony in marriage
arrangerment. However, engagement and wedding ceremony are completely different
in detail.

- in the past, both men and women were expected to be married at quite young age

- the bride wears long white dress: represent eternity beauty of love and sign of
luxury

- celebrate a party: invite faimly, friends and relatives to notice about the crucial
event share the happiness

Differences in wedding customs of Viet Nam and England .

1. Time to send invitations

- Western brides and grooms send cards a few months in advance to make an
early appointment with guests, so even if guests are far away, they can still
arrange to attend the wedding party.

- Vietnamese brides and grooms usually only send wedding invitations about
2 weeks in advance, some people even invite only a few days in
advance. Inviting guests too late causes inconvenience because guests
cannot arrange them. In addition, many fastidious people are not satisfied
because urgent invitations are disrespectful to guests. Therefore, the couple
should consider inviting the wedding early.

2. The nature of the wedding party

- Western wedding party is an occasion for families and friends of the bride
and groom to gather, exchange and share happiness with the couple.

- Vietnamese weddings are still very formal, many people think that this is an
opportunity to "repay" each other with congratulatory money and gifts.

3. Wedding planner

- The bride and groom are responsible for the cost as well as the responsibility
of organizing the entire reception party in a Western wedding.

- In Vietnam, the wedding is not only for the couple, but also largely decided
by the parents of both parties. Parents usually take care of the main expenses
and have the right to decide on the party.

4. Guest

- The number of guests in Western weddings is usually small, mainly close

friends of the couple and family members.

- The minimum number of guests in a Vietnamese wedding is a few hundred

people, and there are even weddings that invite more than 1,000
guests. Because loving parents are the main organizers, parents want to
invite more friends and acquaintances to their children's party. This is still
limited in weddings in Vietnam. This also increases organizational costs
significantly. The bride and groom should convince their parents to invite less
so that the wedding is compact and intimate. The family should only invite
those close to the bride and groom because these are still the two central
characters of the party.
10. Cultural features of personal relationships in Vietnam and in other English-
speaking countries such as the United Kingdom, the United States… (similarities
and differences).

Similarities

- Among acquaintances: collaboration for the society development: people in both

countries build up connections and relationships to gain knowledge, experience about
various aspects of society to achieve certain goals. This leads to more innovation,
efficient processes, increased success, and improved communication contributing
considerably to their nations

- The use of terms are compulsory to show specific attitudes and express common
emotions. This also presents the social status among individuals to select appropriate
behavior.

- Male – female relationship: men and women socialize and collaborate freely to
contribute to society and develop men a variety of relationships. Single people of
opposite sexes can be close friends without doubt and prejudices and furthermore,
they can share their personal issues with each other which won`t be interrupted by
romantic feelings. Besides, to couples, they may date with or without the intention of
getting married as they see it as a way to experience and chance to know more about
themselves.

Differences:

- Family: child raising is the most conspicuous feature which shows the difference. In
Vietnam, children are always considered to be the family`s treasure, so the growth of
each child is carefully supervised and instructed by family members, especially
parents or grandparents to lead them to success quickly and nurture the next
generations. It is a good aspect of Vietnamese society life but sometimes it may cause
serious conflicts when the child may take too much responsibility, and pressure and
they might get depressed and exhausted. Whereas to people who follow English
culture, it is not uncommon for English parents to put a newborn in a separate room
that belongs only to the child. This helps to preserve the parents`s privacy and allows
the child to get used to living and working independently, the first step toward
personal development. Every child is encouraged to cut the apron strings to
experience and learn about the world by themselves

- Male – female:
 + England: Married men and women sometimes consider each other best friends as
spouses. They also socialize with members of the opposite sex. This does not mean
there is no limitation between these relationships.

+ Vietnam: problems in marriage relationship happens when a wife often has to obey
the husband’s family rules and quarrels or arguments seem to be rude or disrespectful.
Moreover, the wife finds it hard to have an opposite sex friend when she gets married
due to the fact that the husband can easily envy and make a fuss about it, leading to
domestic violence or even divorces.

- Teachers and students: While in Viet Nam, students regard teachers as their parents,
so they barely rely on and follow their instructions, leading to the lack of independent
learning and limited practical knowledge. Learners in English culture only consider
teachers to be their instructors, they just need them whenever they get in trouble. The
rest of the lesson they will learn by themselves and find their own ways to receive the
knowledge effectively.

11. Definitions of culture, communication, cultural communication and intercultural

communication.
 culture: Culture refers to the cumulative deposit of knowledge, experience, beliefs,
values, attitudes, meanings, hierarchies, religion, notions of time, roles, spatial
relations, concepts of the universe, and material objects and possessions acquired by
a group of people in the course of generations through individual and group striving.
 communication: a process by which information is exchanged between individuals
through a common system of symbols, signs, or behavior
 cultural communication: the process of recognizing both differences and
similarities among cultural groups in order to effectively engage within a given
context.
 intercultural communication: a symbolic, interpretive, transactional, contextual
process; process in which people from different cultures create shared meanings.

12. Use of titles in introductions.

There are different ways to address people depending on both the relationship
involved and the situation. It's important to learn the basic etiquette rules for using
first and last names, as well as courtesy titles, in spoken English. When addressing
someone, remember which register to use depending on the situation. Register refers
to the level of formality required when speaking.

When to Use First Names

You should address people by their first name in informal and friendly situations,
such as with friends, coworkers, acquaintances, and fellow students, for example:

"Excuse me, Mary. What did you think of that presentation yesterday?" > A woman
talking to a coworker

If you are speaking with coworkers in the office about work, use first names.
However, if you are speaking to a supervisor or someone you manage, you may have
to use a title and last name in more formal situations. The use of a first name versus a
title depends on the atmosphere in the office. Traditional businesses (such as banks or
insurance companies) tend to be more formal. Other firms, such as technology
companies, are often more informal:

"Here is the report you asked for, Mr. James." > A man addressing his supervisor

When to Use Courtesy Titles

Use courtesy titles—for example, Mr., Mrs., Miss, and Dr.—in formal situations such
as in meetings, during public speaking events, or when addressing superiors at work
or school. Some workplaces prefer an informal tone between management and staff.
To be safe, you can begin by using a courtesy title and change to a more informal
address if your supervisors ask you speak to them on a first-name basis, for example:

"Good morning Ms. Johnson. Did you have a good weekend?" > A student talking to
her teacher.

Talking About Other People

Speaking about other people also depends on the situation. Generally, in informal
situations, use first names when talking about other people:

Debra visited her parents over the weekend. > A husband speaking to his friend about
his wife, Debra

In Vietnam:

Vietnamese people generally address one another by their given (personal) name in
any casual context. This is usually

accompanied by an honorific title, based on people’s gender, age and social

relationship to one another.

Titles usually have familial connotations, such as ‘uncle or ‘aunt’ instead of

professional meanings.
Younger people address older men as ‘Ong’ (grandfather) and older women as ‘Ba’
(grandmother).

An older person addresses non-elderly men and women as ‘Anh’ (older brother) and
‘Chi’ (older sister) respectively, and very young or unmarried men and women as
‘Chu’ (younger brother) and ‘Co’ (younger sister).

13. Eye contact and handshaking in introductions.

Eye contact:
- Speaker maintains eye contact in introductions as well as in general conservation
gives an indication of honesty.
- Most people become nervous if frequent eye contact turns into staring
- If you don’t have an eye contact when speaking, you will be considered to avoid
something or to be dishonest. In others it is seen as challenging and rude.

Handshaking:

- Handshaking is a polite gesture indicating friendship and acceptance.

- When shaking hands, people shake firmly and briefly. A firm handshake is a sign of
sincerity.

- Prolonged handshaking is not usual in many countries.

- Some ways of shaking:

+ Precaution to be safe: Shows the self-confidence

+ Covering of the hand: Used when you know about your friend clearly

+ The softie: Demonstrates weakness, lack of confidence, lack of interest, and lack of
masculinity.

+ Attack: Putting your hand into opponment’s hand palm is the sign of attack

+ “The handshaking of the queen”: Point out that you are wise, skillful.

14. Small talk after introductions.

Immediately after introductions are made, there is usually a period of time in

which impersonal or trivial subjects are discussed. This type of conversation
called “small talk”, is important because it often helps to maintain
conversations and it can lead to interesting discussions. Moreover, it helps to
fill up silences and makes you both feel comfortable and friendly with each
other. Usually, speakers initiate small talk with such questions as: “Where do
you live?”, “How do you like living here?” or “What are you studying?”. It is
also for people to ask “What is your job?”, but it is uncommon and considered
impolite to ask “How much money do you make?” or “How much does your
house cost?”. Other questions such as “Are you married?” or “How old are
you?” (to an adult) are generally considered too personal for initial meetings.

There are some types of small talk topics to get started

- Universal topics: Things like the weather, current news, sports and
entertainment are usually safe conversation starters. Some people might not be
fans of sports, or might not follow entertainment news, so if you can, try to
match people’s interests to the topic you choose.

Examples:

“This weather is crazy! It was cold yesterday and today I came in with an open
jacket. I hope it stays warm, don’t you?”

“Did you watch the Oscars last week? I can’t believe Leonardo DiCaprio finally
won one!”

- The day: If you’re not sure what topic to talk about, or don’t have anything
interesting to say, you can just ask someone about their day, or you can talk
about yours.

Example:

“How was your day? / How has your day been so far?”

“How have you been feeling today?”

“What have you been doing today?”

- Observation: looking at your partner and find something nice to compliment

them on. Nothing makes people feel better than a genuine compliment
Example: “I love your shoes today, they really pull your outfit together.”

15. Directness and indirectness in speaking.

Direct communication happens when a speaker’s true intentions are communicated in
his/her verbal message. It expresses the speaker’s/sender’s needs and desires
explicitly. When a direct communicator wants or needs something, he/she will ‘come
right out and say it’.

Direct communicators take the other speaker’s words at face value: they will not
analyze the message for underlying meaning. They value the effectiveness of short,
direct answers, and expect and respect honesty and frankness.

Indirect communication happens when a speaker’s true intentions are hidden. Indirect
speakers will not make a direct statement or directly answer a question that might
cause tension or result in an uncomfortable situation. They are more likely to say
“maybe” or “possibly’ when the true answer is “no”.

Indirect communicators believe that being polite is more important than giving a true
response; this belief is related to the concept of ‘saving face’ – to avoid hurting
another person’s self-esteem.

In the U.S. and most western cultures, direct communication is usually the preferred
style. In other cultures, including African and some Asian countries, indirect
communication is more prevalent.

To a direct speaker, indirect verbal communication is often considered evasive, even

untrust- worthy, while to an indirect speaker, direct verbal communication is
perceived as harsh, even rude.

It can be frustrating for speakers in cultures where direct communication is the norm
to interact with speakers in or from cultures that use indirect communication.

16. Ways of expressing common needs in different cultures.

Individuals in every culture have similar basic needs but express them differently.
There are some typical ways of expressing these things.
In daily life we all initiate conversation, use formal and informal speech, give
praise, express disagreement, seek information, and extend invitations. Some of the
verbal patterns we use are influenced by our culture. Whereas directness in speech is
common in the United States, indirectness is the rule in parts of the Far East. Thus
people from both of these parts of the world would probably express criticism of
others differently. In parts of the Middle East a host is expected to offer food several
times but in the United States he may make an offer only once or twice. The different
modes of expression represent variations on the same theme. Each language reflects
and creates cultural attitudes; each has a unique way of expressing human need.
 Complimenting can be a way of initiating conversation (e.g., "Hi how are you?
Those are beautiful earrings that you're wearing. Where are they from?"). It is
acceptable to compliment a person's material possessions (e.g, home, decorations in
the home, clothes, etc.). Too many compliments given may be interpreted as
insincere. Not enough compliments may be interpreted as a sign of apathy or dislike.
For example: If a guest doesn't praise the quality of a dinner, the host might feel that
the guest didn't like it. However, in the Middle East you should take care not to
admire anything in your hosts' home. They will feel that they have to give it.
People in some parts of the world believe that compliments are dangerous because
they invite the "evil eye" (bad luck), therefore compliments in these places are not
given freely. In the United States this belief does not exist.
There are, however, no restrictions or superstitions related to the number of
compliments that can be given.

17. Initiating and maintaining conversations.

Initiating and maintaining conversations is another skill that is needed when
one is learning a new language.

The ability to verbally and nonverbally initiate conversation is important

because effectively being able to initiate a conversation allows us to gain
independence and create social relationships.

Way of initiating and maintaining a conversation:

· Listening actively to what the other person says and responding
appropriately.
· Being able to stay on topic.
· Reading body language, facial expressions and other nonverbal cues.
· Maintain eye contact and nod your head.
· Asked open – ended question.
· Add extra information to a one-word response.
· Look for common ground: maintaining a conversation is easier when
two people find that they have something in common.
18. Circles of friends, mobility and friendship in different cultures.

Circles of friends:

It is common to have different “circles of friends” such as church friends, work

friends or sports friends. A person may choose not to involve members of
different circles in the same activity. One’s friends from the office may never
meet one’s friends from the sports club. Terms such as “office mate” and
“tennis partner” indicate the segregation of friends. The office mate is a friend
in the office and the tennis partner is a friend on the courts. People have
different types of friends: one may have many good friends and one best friend.
“Best friends” are usually two people of the same sex who have known each
other for a long period of time. People usually have more casual friends than
close or best friends.

2. Mobility and Friendship

The Americans are geographically mobile and learn to develop friendships

easily and quickly. Approximately one out of every five American families
moves every year. People relocate because they begin new jobs, attend distant
colleges, get married, have children or simply want a change in their lives.
Perhaps as a consequence of this, people form and end friendships quickly.
Students attending two or three universities during their undergraduate and
graduate years may change their circles of friends several times.

Relationships based on a common activity may fade or end when the activity
ends. Students might meet in classes and remain friends for the duration of the
course and then stop seeing each other after the final examination. The same
holds true for neighbors who are the closest of friends until one moves away. In
these friendships, shared daily experiences form the foundation for the
relationship. Enduring friendships develop when individuals have similar
interests and a common outlook on life. The high rate of mobility in the United
States can explain a great deal about transient friendships.

It is easy to be misled by instant friendships which may appear to be deep and

personal but are really superficial. Friendship and friendliness are not
synonymous. Friendliness characterizes much of the daily interaction but is not
 always an indication of friendship. Strangers may share life histories without
any intention of pursuing a relationship. Characterizing instant friendships is the
appearance of two people becoming close but, in reality, there is no strong bond
between them. Brief encounters do not always imply desire for further contact.
Many people frequently smile or say, “Have a nice day” or “See ya later,” or
even extend an invitation as part of a cultural pattern of politeness. Such
expressions do not always suggest an offer of continued friendship.

19. Child raising, the nuclear and the extended family.

 Americans traditionally have held
 Independence
 Closely – related value
 Individualism
 Teach children
 Making decision
 Responsibility
 Financial independence
 Compare to Vietnam: https://ielts69.com/essay/compare-the-ways-of-child-
raising-in-the-english-american-and-the-vietnam-culture-mXxnr
 Similarity: in both two cultures all parents pay attention to their children.
 Differences:
 The US:
 The most important responsibility of parents is to raise their children to be self-
sufficient. They encourage their children to become self-sufficient by requiring
them to perform activities: washing, cleaning, cooking,...
 Parents respect their children and allow them to express themselves on family
matters
 The majority of children will move out of the family to have a fully independent
life
 VN:
 Their primary responsibility is to safeguard and provide a happy and prosperous
upbringing for their children. Many children do not get to sleep in their own beds
until they graduate primary school. Most youngsters in metropolitan areas are
required to do nothing but study.
 Before they marry, children do not leave the family house. Even so, many
parents prefer their children to reside in the same house as them.

Nuclear family and extended family

- Nuclear family:
+ father, mother, and the children

+ has own residence and is economically independent of other family members.

+ According to some experts, people who grow up in a nuclear family are said to be more
child-centered and self-reliant. They generally have higher educational attainment and
more economic mobility.

+ Conflicts: Less because the members don't have too big of a difference in age, lifestyle,
and thinking

- Extended family

+ grandparents, parents, children, aunts, uncles, cousins, nephews, and in-laws.

+ the children and parents have strong ties and obligations to relatives, and support older
family members.
+ has intensive contact with relatives and to establish communal housing.
+ Some studies show that the family structure of intergenerational households makes
parenting easier.
+ Conflicts: More because the members have a large gap between generations, which
leads to incompatible ways of thinking and behaving
 Comparison: VN and the US/UK
 https://123docz.net//document/4889550-family-values-of-vietnam-and-
usa.htm
 VN:
 The Vietnamese household follows the extended multi - generational pattern .
 A typical extended family often includes three or even four generations, and
typically consists of grandparents, father and mother , children and grandchildren ,
all living under the same roof .
 Sometimes, parents have more than one married son living with them, but this
often leads to such tension that it is generally held preferable for a second son to
live separately.
 The US:
 The traditional family structure in the United States is considered a family support
system involving two married individuals.
 In America,families usually have two generations living in a home.
 The traditional structure has had to adapt to very influential changes, including
divorce and the introduction of single - parent families, teenage pregnancy and
unwed mothers, and same - sex marriage, and increased interest in adoption.
Social movements such as the feminist movement and the stay - at - home fathers
have contributed to the creation of alternative family forms, generating new
versions of the American family.
 20.Teacher – student relationships and independent learning.

 Teacher-student relationships :

A student-teacher relationship in the classroom is a positive relationship

between the teacher and the student in an effort to gain trust and respect
from each other. This relationship may consist of getting to know your
students better, providing choices, and encouraging the students to
become stronger learners every day. By doing this, teachers are showing
respect to their students, valuing their individuality, and being polite. Having
a positive relationship with your students helps them become more
successful in the classroom as well as makes your classroom a safe and
welcoming environment for all.

Professors may establish social relationships with students outside the

classroom, but in the classroom, they maintain the instructor's role. A
professor may have coffee one day with students but the next day expect
them to meet a deadline for the submission of a paper or to be prepared for
a discussion or an exam. The professor may give extra attention outside of
class to a student in need of help but probably will not treat him or her
differently when it comes to evaluating school work. Professors have
several roles in relation to students; they may be counselors and friends as
well as teachers. Students must realize that when a teacher's role changes,
they must appropriately adapt their behavior and attitudes.

 Independent learning :

Independent learning is a method or learning process where learners have

ownership and control of their learning – they learn by their own actions
and direct, regulate, and assess their own learning. The independent
learner is able to set goals, make choices, and decisions about how to
meet his learning needs, take responsibility for constructing and carrying
out his own learning, monitor his progress toward achieving his learning
goals, and self-assess the learning outcomes.

Professors will help students who need it but prefer that their students not
be overly dependent on them. (This differs from teacher-student
relationships in other countries.) In the United States, professors have
other duties besides teaching. Often they are responsible for administrative
work within their departments. In addition, they may be obliged to publish
articles and books. Therefore the time that a professor can spend with a
student outside of class is limited. If a student has problems with classroom
work, the student should either approach a professor during office hours or
make an appointment.