Grace and Courtesy

Greeting a Visitor

Materials: Only the few that may be lesson-specific.

Purposes: Social Relations

Coordination of Movement

Age: 2 ½ and up

Presentation: Greeting a Visitor:

Preparation: Set up a child or assistant as a “visitor,” seated in a chair out of the way.

1. Invite a small group (3 – 5 children).

2. Announce what you are going to do. Explain that sometimes visitors come
to the classroom. This could be parents, someone from another school,
someone from the office, or just someone else. When they come, they’re
usually here to watch us work, but we can still greet them to make them
feel comfortable.
3. Draw the children’s attention to the pretend “visitor.”
4. Invite the children to watch you greet the “visitor.” Follow the basic
pattern: greet, welcome, introduce, conclude: “(Bending down to make eye
contact) Good morning… Welcome to our classroom… (Extending right hand)
My name is (your name)… (Shaking hands) It’s very nice to meet you (visitor’s
name)… I hope you enjoy your visit.” Pause for response between each
statement.
5. Invite each child to take a turn greeting the “visitor,” one at a time. Show
excitement and enthusiasm as each returns to the group. “Did you see that?
She greeted our visitor!” At any point, as necessary, the adult can take
another turn to re-present a model of the correct procedure.
6. Once all children have greeted the “visitor,” ensure everyone is gathered
back where the group originally met. Conclude with a summarizing
statement. “Now you know how to greet a visitor.”
7. Dismiss the children to activity.

Points of Interest:
1. Making eye contact
2. The handshake
3. Language / dialogue used

Pedagogical Notes:
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● In the introduction to a grace and courtesy lesson about greeting a visitor,

it is helpful to explain that visitors are usually “here to watch us work.”
This highlights that visits from observers are more than a time to socialize.
Sometimes, this must also be acknowledged by the visitor. For example,
an observer may have to gently remind a child, “I’m here to watch
children work.” A prompt such as, “If you find something to do, maybe
I’ll watch you,” can also be helpful if a child is distracted by the visitor’s
presence.
● Other ways children can greet visitors in the classroom include offering
them a guestbook, or offering a menu of simple beverages the children are
able to prepare. This could include fresh squeezed orange juice, French
press coffee, and herbal tea. Beverages should be served in small cups, as
the quality may vary (for example, many grounds in the coffee).
● Children need to internalize all these lessons and will eventually come to
the point at which they will be able to apply them consistently. You must
allow them the time to practice in your environment so they will be
prepared when these situations actually arise. These lessons are given
again and again to continuously put forward the example of positive
behavior. You should constantly be observing and asking yourself, “What
lessons of grace and courtesy am I going to present this week?”
● It is important to remember to be patient with children, understanding
that you are presenting to the absorbent mind, and that even young
children have often formed habits that are hard to break. When you see
lessons of grace and courtesy that are not being followed, resist the urge to
act in a corrective manner (“Remember your grace and courtesy!”).
Instead, simply resolve to re-present that lesson at a later time.
● These lessons are always offered in neutral moments, and never in the
moment they are needed. They are typically done in a small group with
mixed ages. For example, it is often helpful to pull in a younger child who
is struggling with the concept, as well as an older child who is a successful
model of desired behavior.
● Children are always watching the adults around them. You must therefore
embody everything you model for children. While these characteristics are
clearly modeled, they are not forced. For example, a departure routine
from a family gathering can be modeled, but forced affection in the
moment often makes children feel embarrassed and uncomfortable.
● Accepted grace and courtesy differs around the world. For example, there
are different socially acceptable greetings in different places, including a
 Grace and Courtesy

handshake, a hug, or a kiss. Traditionally, there is a great deal of grace

and courtesy that revolves around times when people are sharing food
with one another. When children eat separately from adults, however, the
opportunity to learn and imitate this behavior is compromised.
o Lunch is a great time for grace and courtesy. Adults should sit with
the children, as a part of the community. There is merit in sitting at
the table together with real plates and silverware, saying a grace
together, and having conversations over a meal.
● The list of possible grace and courtesy lessons is practically limitless. This
can include things such as how to accept a compliment (even adults often
struggle with this), how to let someone know they have mucus on their
face, and how to inform someone that they have food in their teeth. On the
first day of school, it may be helpful to have all the children line up and
take turns flushing the toilet. This is a grace and courtesy lesson that has
the added advantage of acquainting the children with the sound of the
toilet flushing, lessening the potential anxiety about hearing the flushing
noise when using the bathroom independently.
o Adults often do not take the time to show children what to do in
specific situations before the situation arises. Through grace and
courtesy lessons this can be done, and the children can be
empowered to act appropriately in the moment they are faced with
such a situation.