INTRODUCTION

"I ain't never had nobody show me all the things that you done showed me and the
special way I feel when you hold me. We gone always be together baby that's what
you told me and I believe it (because I ain't never had nobody do me like you)"
These words blasted into my ears through my headsets as I walked from my hostel
to school. It is the first day of school and I'm excited because I am finally in matric.
I'm looking forward to making my presence felt since I am a senior now and I'm also
excited about installing fear into those grade 8s. These kids have it easy nowadays, I
mean when I was in grade 8, the matrics of that year were huge and scary and we
feared them. The fear was so great that we were even scared to be walking in the
same corridor as them but now I was in matric and I'm going make sure these kids
respect me just as much.

It feels good to be back at school, the holidays were too long and I had absolutely
nothing to do for six weeks, my parents were always working and my brothers were
never around. I have 2 brothers; my eldest brother is 22 and studies at Rhodes
University and my younger brother is 11. So, imagine how bored I must have been
and worst part is that all my friends went on holiday with their parents and for the first
time I wished I was at school, where I have the freedom to do what I want and where
my friends and my boyfriend are always around. My boyfriend's name is Asande. He
is tall, dark, a bit muscular, big brown eyes, pinkish lips and he is smart too. We are
what one would consider an "IT" couple, he is head boy and I'm head girl, he is hot,
I'm beautiful and we are inseparable.

First day of school and already I had meetings to attend and an assembly to prepare
for. First on my agenda was a head prefect meeting with the principal and as I
walked there I ran into Asande, my boyfriend. He gave me one of those hugs that
just make you never want to let go. I just knew that he missed me as much as I had
missed him.

Asa: I missed doing that

me: missed doing what?

I was trying very hard to hide the huge smile on my face. He stopped walking,
hugged me again, picking me up this time. I found my answer.
principal: come in

This was after I knocked a few times. As we walked in, the deputy head girl Enhle
and deputy head boy, Athandwa were already waiting for us. The principal discussed
what he expected from us for the year, gave us our duty roster and the meeting was
over.

Enhle is also my bestfriend, best female friend that is. We do almost everything
together. She is also my roommate so we are always together. She isn't dating the
deputy head boy though. She is a bit shy and uninformed when it comes to guys.
She is yet to have her first boyfriend. She is tall, slender, caramel bone with a big
ass. She is very beautiful.

The school bell rang and reality hit me, this is my last year in high school and then
the rest of my life starts. We were getting sorted out into our register classes for the
year and my fingers were crossed that I end up in the same class as my friends.

Mrs Richardson:*calling out the names of the last students that were going to be in
her matric class this year* Enhle Khumalo, Asande Nxele and Athandwa Dlamini.

She was done and my name wasn't called. All my friends were in the same class and
I wasn't in that class. When I was eventually called up, I ended up in a class with
Phila (my ex). As we walked to class I took out my phone and sent Enhle a text:

TO: BESTIE> it seems like me not being in your class was not bad enough, I
ended up in the same class as Phila. we will talk at break time.

To my surprise Enhle responded quite fast. I was already in class when my phone
went off so I had to find a way of reading the text without my teacher seeing me. I
placed my bag on my desk and placed my phone under the bag. The bag was hiding
me and my phone. I opened the text:

FROM: BESTIE> babe that's messed up, how do you think Asa is going to feel
about this, you know he doesn't like Phila. make sure you sit next to him, he is
hot after all. see you at break time.
Insert 1

The year is going to be long and I had to make the best of the situation I have been
put in and since Phila was the only person I've ever had a proper conversation with
in this class, I decided to sit next to him.

Me: Hi

I started feeling like I had made a mistake by greeting him.

Phila: hey, how are you?

He responded as if he was expecting me to come sit next to him. We started talking

again and the more we talked, the more I realized why this guy and I didn't work out
but I am determined on building a friendship, just for the sake of being civil and for
my survival in this class this year. He started telling me about him being single and
how I broke his heart and what not. Honestly the conversation was boring, I don't like
people who think if they make me feel guilty, I will change my past decisions. I dated
this guy for almost 2 years and he still doesn't know me.

The rest of the day went by very quickly, I got to see my friends during break time
and Asande even promised to walk me to my hostel after school. I haven't had much
time to spend with my boyfriend so even a walk together was much appreciated. I
had physics as my last class of the day and it seemed to be going on forever, I was
really trying to concentrate until I received a text:

FROM: My Baby>

babe I have a meeting with the principal and some of the boy prefects so I
can't walk you today, can we make it tomorrow? I'm sorry babe. Love you.

I was really looking forward to spending some time with him and now I have to walk
by myself...I was hurt but I decided to respond anyway:

To: My Baby>

It's ok, I will be fine. I will see you tomorrow. Love you too.

As I walked out of class, I put my earphones on and walked really slowly. I thought
about waiting for my roommate but I wouldn't have been good company for her. My
mood had dropped to zero and no one could lift it up. I just wanted to get to my room
and sleep. I was really enjoying the song that was playing, so much that I didn't even
feel it when someone tapped me on the shoulder. He tapped me again and only then
did I feel it. I turned around and there he was, smiling at me as if we were best
friends.

Him: Hey Lwa, do you mind if I walk with you?

Me: Phila, hi. You can walk with me if you want but I don't promise to be good
company.

We walked together and talked about random things, he asked about my relationship
and that was one thing I didn't feel like talking about so I asked about his birthday.

Me: it's your birthday on Friday, right?

Him: how did you know about my birthday?

I reminded him that we dated for a while so of course I still remember the date. We
talked until we arrived at the gate of the hostel, we said our goodbyes and went our
separate ways
Insert 2

Deep down I knew that letting my ex walk me wasn't a good idea but my boyfriend
dropped me so I guess it wasn't so bad. I mean it’s not like we did anything, it was
just an innocent walk. Nobody got hurt. When my roommate arrived to the room she
threw a lot of questions my way.

Enhle: so, you are entertaining your ex now?

Me: Enhle you were the one who told me to be nice to the guy, he offered to walk me
to the hostel so I thought I would be nice and allow him. it wasn't a big deal.

Her: I know what I said but I just hope you are not falling for him again because you
know that won't last long and won't end well for him. The guy is still into you.

Me: I disagree with you. Phila and I are over each other. I have Asande now and I
love him.

I fell asleep without even realizing it, that's how tired I was. I was woken up by the
vibration of my phone. it was a text but I didn't recognize the number:

From: +27798523476>

Hey babe, I ran out of airtime and I'm using my roommate's phone. I just
wanted to tell you that I love you and goodnight babe.

I read the message over and over again and kept smiling to myself. Why is it that this
guy can do everything right and even when he does something wrong, he knows
exactly how to make up for it?! I wanted to respond but I was too tired so I slept and
my phone vibrated again, this time it was a call, from my ex. I thought twice about
answering but I ended up answering.

Me: hmm ello

Him: hey Lwa, it's me Phila, uhm listen neh, could you please give me the pages for
the homework we are supposed to do for maths.

Firstly, I was annoyed that this guy is calling me so late and now he wants homework
from me, I'm not his PA but I gave him the homework either way.

Me: uhm is that all you called to ask me?

I really was expecting him to say no, he still had more to say but sadly he didn't.

Him: nah, that's all I need, thank you and sorry to bother you so late but you are the
only person from class whose numbers I have. Goodnight Lwa.

Morning came so soon, I was still tired and felt like I didn't get enough sleep. When I
woke up, Enhle was already up; this girl wakes up way too early. We said our good
mornings and I went to shower while she made is breakfast. Its Thursday today and I
wished it was Friday already, school really is tiring. After my shower, I received a call
from my mom and dad; it was really nice to hear from them.

Mom: your little brother was selected for the rugby team at his school and he wants
me to throw him a party

Me: mommy KK is pushing his luck but he deserves it. tell daddy I love him

We hung up and I started thinking that I've been planning on going a couple of
sports. I got ready for school and Enhle and I walked to school.
Insert 3

Things between Asande and I haven't been great, we are fighting a lot and the fights
are Phila related. He found out about Phila walking me to the hostel and that I
bought him a T-shirt for his birthday. Now every time he sees me with the guy he
goes bitter. Sometimes when things go crazy in a relationship, you just need an
escape route and my friendship with my ex is my escape route. He is a nice guy and
he makes me laugh, he relieves me of all the stress I have because of my boyfriend.
Our friendship is growing and I even forget that we once dated. I'm even thinking of
hooking him up with my roommate. They would actually make a good couple...if
Phila just acts his age and not his shoe size.

During break time I brought up the idea to Enhle and at first, she wasn't keen about
it.

Me: friend the guy is perfect for you. You guys would make such a cute couple.

Enhle: but he is your ex. imagine how it would look nje. you know people like to talk.

Me: people will forever talk about us so you shouldn't mind them. Just promise me
you will think about it.

Her: ok I promise to think about it. that's it.

me: and rest assured. Him and I are totally over each other.

We chatted more about it and Asande and Athandwe decided to join us. We haven't
seen much of Athandwe lately because Mr Deputy Head boy found himself a
girlfriend... well actually Enhle found him a girlfriend. I hugged my boyfriend and then
afterwards I gave Atha a hug as well.

Atha: Lwa I need you to do me a favour. I need you to organize my party for me. You
know it’s my birthday next weekend so I want one of those crazy parties. You only
turn 18 once.

Me: I will see what I can do. Just give me a list of the people you want there and the
theme then leave the rest to me.

Athandwe is one of those humble rich kids, he lives at home but he drives to school,
he has the latest gadgets, from phones to laptops but he doesn't date much. He is a
shy guy but he is quite hot. He is tall, caramel skinned, hazel brown eyes, dimples
and pinks lips. He and I have been best friends since grade 1.

The bell rang and we had to go back to class. When I got to class, Phila had saved
me a seat next to him. I greeted him and sat down.

Me: hey dude, thanks for saving me a seat

Phila: anytime

me: listen, I'm planning a party for Atha, you should ask Enhle to go with you

him: why?

me: well because I know you don't have a girlfriend and I don't want you being that
guy with his hands in his pockets the whole night

him: ok I will talk to her after school but of she says no, I won't beg her.

This guy seriously has too much pride. I texted Enhle to give her the heads-up:

To: Bestie>

girl I just spoke to Phila and all I'm going to say is that don't rush to leave after
school.

I'm so excited about this. I can't even hide it. my bestfriend is about to get her first
boyfriend and it’s all thanks to me. she responded instantly:

From: Bestie>

Lol ok I'll wait outside my class. just tell him that

I gave my phone to Phila and he read the SMS and smiled. My job here is done.
Who would have ever thought my ex would end up as my friend's first boyfriend?
Insert 4

The night of Athandwe's party was finally here. I just finished showering and I have
no idea what I'm going to wear. I looked through my closet and fished out a white
and gold tight fitting dress. I moisturized my body and put the dress on. it fitted
perfectly and showed my curves just the way I hoped it would. I didn't feel like
wearing heels because to be honest, I can't walk in them for too long. I opted for my
white boot allstars with gold zips. I let my hair hang loose. Enhle on the other hand
looked amazing. I looked good but she looked amazing. My bestie wore a faded blue
high rise ripped jean, white long sleeve crop top, a red and black oversized checked
shirt and finished her look with white flat allstars. She had braids so she made a bun.
We are taking a cab to the party so when we were done getting ready, I called and
the cab arrived after 15mins. Atha's parents allowed him to use the house as the
venue for the party and they went away for the weekend. The turnout was amazing
and everyone looked hot. People were kissing, dancing and just having a good time.
I walked up to Atha and gave him a hug.

Me: happy birthday my guy

Atha: thank you my lady but where is my gift?

Me: dude you have everything, what could I possibly get you that you don't have?

him: well you could get me you...I don't have you

me: dude you are drunk so I'm not even going to entertain that.

I received a text from Asande and it rescued me from what was about to be an
awkward conversation

From: My Baby>

babe when you get a chance, come find me upstairs.

I left Atha and set out to find my boyfriend. I found him in one of the rooms and he
was a bit tipsy but then again so was I. I entered the room and closed the door. He
was happy to see me and I was happy to see him. We shared a kiss and started
making out. This was nothing new since that's how far we always get. We were really
not ready to go further. Don't get me wrong, I'm not a virgin but I just wasn't ready to
go all the way with him yet.
We laid down on the bed making out and damn it was getting intense. He started
feeling me up and slid his hand under my dress and in my panties. He rubbed my
queen and I started moaning. I felt a little damp in my panties. That's how wet I was.
He slid my panties down, lifted up my dress, spread my legs apart and he went down
on me. He was eating me out, flicking his tongue on my clit and sucking on it. He did
this for a couple of minutes and I had my orgasm. I went on my knees, unzipped his
jeans, took out his king and started sucking it. He got hornier and even harder when
my mouth wrapped around his cock. I sucked him faster and faster until he
unexpectedly exploded in my mouth and I swallowed every last drop (phela they say
spitters are quitters). We got on the bed and just laid next to each other for a couple
of minutes before fixing ourselves. We kissed and left to join the rest of the party.

I was surprised when I saw that almost everyone had left. It was only Atha, Enhle,
Phila, Asa and myself that remained. Even Mr Party's girlfriend had left. We helped
Atha clean up and when we were done, he dropped us off at the hostels. Firstly, he
stopped at the boys’ hostel and the two guys got off and so did Enhle. She told me
she was spending the night with Phila and will be getting back in the morning. Only
Atha and myself were in the car when he dropped me off. He asked if he could come
up and I agreed. We chilled in my room, talking and laughing. He was sitting on the
chair and I was sitting on my bed. Suddenly out of nowhere he moved from the chair
and sat next to me. He leaned over and kissed me. At first, I didn't pull away and the
kiss got intense. He is a great kisser and his lips are soft and warm but I had to pull
away. I'm in a relationship and he is also in a relationship. I stood up and looked at
him...
Insert 5

Me: What are you doing? why are you kissing me? you are my best friend and best
friends don't kiss.

I was shocked and puzzled by all this and I had to put a stop to it.

Atha: Lwa I like you. I've liked you for a long time now. I liked you before you even
dated Phila but I was scared to tell you and the only reason I'm dating that chick is
because I knew I couldn't have you. I know you are happy with your boyfriend but I
couldn't keep it in anymore.

Next thing he got up and left. I was speechless and I needed Enhle to be here right
now because I need to vent. How could Atha just drop this bomb on me and then
leave. I want to text Enhle but if I do, I will forever be accused of cock blocking her. I
decided to get in bed and sleep but I couldn't sleep. That kiss was all over my mind
and what he said after kissing me. My thoughts were interrupted by a text from Atha

From: My guy>

I hope you are still up. I can't stop thinking about that kiss. I can't stop thinking
about you. Lwa I love you and I know I don't have a chance with you because
of Asa but if you do feel something for me, please don't tell me unless you
want to be with me.

I don't know whether to respond or just ignore him. I don't even know if I feel
something for him or not. This guy has been my best friend since forever and I've
never thought of him in any other way but that kiss was still lingering in my
mind...kisses don't mean you feel something for someone right?! I decided to
respond

To: My Guy>

I'm still up. I can't stop thinking about that kiss either. you are my best friend
and I wasn't expecting that. can I just have time to come to terms with this? I'm
gonna sleep now so goodnight

I really am sleepy now and I don't have any more energy to think so I slept. When I
woke up, it was raining and Enhle was still not back. I really needed to talk to her. I
texted her
To: Bestie>

babe when are you coming back? I really need to talk to you and I want to hear
all about what happened with you and Phila last night.

She didn't respond so I figured that they are busy so I went to take a shower. The
weather was beautiful. I like it when it rains because I just want to stay in bed the
whole day. After my shower I noticed that my phone had a text and I hope it's from
Enhle...telling me that she is coming back

From: My Guy>

Morning Lwa, can I see you? I want to talk about my behavior last night. I want
to apologize in person. Please.

What the hell?! He wants to apologize?! I'm not sure I want him to apologize. I
enjoyed that kiss and I hope he doesn't regret it.

To: My Guy>

Hey, yeah you can come get me or we can talk in your car or your house. your
choice.

I don't want him to come into my room because I don't want Enhle to find him here.
I'm not ready to answer her questions. I looked for something to wear and I settled
for camouflage skinny pants, white long-sleeved T-shirt, black Adidas hoodie and
black Adidas superstars. I combed my hair and wore a black beanie. I'm not a
makeup person so I always keep it natural.

When Atha was outside he called.

Me: hello

Atha: hey, I'm outside.

Me: give me 2mins and I'll be there

Him: alright shap.

He hung up and I grabbed my phone, checked myself in the mirror and walked out.
when I got there, he was waiting for me outside the car. Even though he was just
wearing sweatpants and a hoodie, he still looked cute. He opened the door for me
and I went in and he got in and drove off. For the first time since I've known him,
things were awkward between us. I tried breaking the tension

Me: so, how's the hangover?

Atha: it was killing me earlier but I'm good now. wena?

me: I never get a hangover. I always make sure to drink water and painkillers before
I sleep

him: so, you are a responsible drinker?

me: yeah

After that the rest of the ride was silent. We arrived at his house and it hit me that he
had the house to himself the whole weekend so we were alone. I got nervous...
Insert 6

We got out the car and he led me to the lounge. I can never get used to how
beautiful this house is.

Atha: can I get you something to drink?

Me: do you have hot chocolate?

him: yeah, we do

me: may I please have that

him: hot chocolate coming right up.

He went to the kitchen and I chilled while flipping through the channels on TV. After a
few minutes he returned with 2 mugs. one had mini marshmallows in it. He handed
me the cup with the hot chocolate and marshmallows.

me: and what are you drinking?

Him: coffee. hot chocolate is gay and I am a straight man

me: so, you say. it’s not proven yet.

him: whatever dude. listen ke, we really need to talk. seriously

me: oh ok. I'm listening...

him: Lwa I'm sorry about last night. I was drunk and I don't know what came over
me. You are my best friend and I don't want to lose you as a friend. Just forget
everything I told you yesterday.

I wasn't expecting him to say that but I guess it’s a good thing. Less complications for
the both of us.

Me: I'm glad we are having this conversation. I don't like it when things are awkward
between us so it’s a good thing that this is out of the way. Let's agree never to talk
about it again and to keep it between the 2 of us.

him: alright.

I couldn't tell whether he is sad or not about my response. After the big talk, we just
chilled and watched a movie. It's still cold and raining so we shared a blanket and I
had my head on his shoulder. I was comfortable but I felt weird. I want him to kiss
me so badly and it doesn't look like he is going to. So, I decided to throw him a hint. I
put my hand on his thigh without taking my eyes off the TV screen. He didn't react so
I moved it up his thigh. He shuffled around but he didn't stop me. I moved my hand
up so high that I felt that his king was up and hard. I rubbed it a couple of times and
then I stopped. I know this always drives Asande crazy and I hope it works on Atha
as well. We sat in complete silence... pretending as if we are concentrating on the
movie.

him: do you want to see my room?

I smiled and then nodded. He led the way...

Insert 7

I don't have a lot of rules when it comes to my dating life but one rule that I have is
that I don't have sex on the first date but here I was about to get hot and heavy with
a guy I always thought of as my brother. His room is very boyish but not to the extent
that there are pictures of half-naked models on the walls. There are just a lot of
soccer players and rugby players.

me: I have an idea.

He smiled because he knows I have something naughty in mind.

me: let's play cards. every time one of us loses, the loser strips.

He agreed and went to go get the cards. We played for 30minutes before he was left
with only his briefs on and I still had my bra and panties on. He moved closer to me
and started kissing and teasing me. He slowly placed his hand against my inner
thigh working his way up from my knees. I started breathing more and more heavily.
Closer and closer I could feel his fingers slide up and down my thigh. With each
move closer and closer to my queen. I eagerly anticipated his touch. Next, he
caressed my breasts using slow circular movements around my nipples. I felt them
harden and I think he did too. He continued to explore my body. Taking his time. He
gently ran his fingers up and down my stomach. Making his way past my hips and
onto my legs. He placed a finger over my queen and I was dripping wet. He took off
my panties and continued playing with my queen with his fingers. I grabbed his finger
and placed it in me. After the not so subtle hint, he kept his finger in me and started
kissing my body. From my shoulders to my breasts. A few times on my nipples and
on my queen. Slowly his tongue made its way to my queen. I could feel his tongue
as it flicked up and down my queen. I have never been so excited. I moaned as he
sucked and licked my queen.

me: I'm about to orgasm. I want you inside me.

After I gave him the invitation, he placed his erect king on my queen. He teased me,
gently entering just the tip. He did this a few times before pushing it all the way in. I
felt his king on me as he filled me up. He pumped in and out slowly...pacing himself
on top of me. This went on for a while and then he turned me over and pulled my ass
to him. He teased me again and this time I wasn't going to take it. I grabbed his king
and pushed it inside me. He grabbed my waist as he thrust in and out of
me...increasing his pace. He placed two fingers over my queen and continued to hit
me from behind. I moaned as I could feel myself moving closer to ecstasy. I was
edging closer to my orgasm. I think he could feel me squeezing even harder on his
king because both of our bodies shook as I collapsed under him. He held me up as
he immediately came all over my back.

We got cleaned up and just laid there naked and in silence. How could something so
wrong feel so right? How could one person make me feel like I just travelled around
the world in one day? I felt amazing and he was smiling from ear to ear. I wanted him
to tell me he loves me but I knew that even if he does, it won't change our situation.
I'm in a relationship and so is he. We took a shower...separately. A shower together
would have just been too much. I showered first and when he went to shower, I
decided to check my phone. I had 7 missed calls and 3 texts. 3 calls from Asande, 2
from Enhle and 2 from Phila. Damn these people were really looking for me.
Insert 8

I checked the texts:

From: Bestie>

Nana I just saw your text now, I was busy. I tried calling you but you didn't
answer. are you ok?

From: My Baby>

baby I haven't heard from you today. are you good? answer your phone
please. I miss you

From: Phila>

Lwa everyone is looking for you. where are you? we are all worried. call me.

I called my boyfriend

Asa: babe

me: hey babe. sorry I missed your call. I'm with Atha and we were watching movies
so I didn't hear my phone as it was in my bag.

him: why wasn't Atha answering his phone?

me: maybe it’s on silent. angaz nami

him: oh ok. when are you coming back?

me: we are about to leave now.

him: ok babe. we will talk later.

We hung up and I called Enhle. Luckily for me she was with Phila so I didn't have to
call him as well. She asked a lot of questions of which I told her I'll answer them
when I get back to the hostel. Atha finished showering and he drove me back to the
hostel. When we got there, we chilled a bit in the car and we talked.
Atha: Will I get another chance like today?

me: maybe

I got out the car and went up to my room. When I got to my room it was like they
were waiting for me...both Phila and Enhle but Phila left just after I arrived. I told
Enhle everything, from the kiss last night to the events of today but to my surprise
she was not even shocked.

her: but everyone knows that Athandwe has always been in love with you so I
understand how you don't know.

me: I need to figure everything out.

I took a nap. I know my life is about to change. I now have to choose between dating
my best friend and carrying on with my current boyfriend
Insert 9

I was awoken by my alarm and only then did I realize that my nap had actually
turned into a full night's sleep. Cheating on my boyfriend really is tiring... both
emotionally and physically. It's Monday today and I have to get ready for school but I
also want to hear all about Phila and Enhle before I even take a shower but to my
surprise Enhle was already showering. I got out of bed and hit the showers as well.
The water was nice and hot. I felt like I could stay in there forever. As I chilled under
the water, I thought about how my life had taken a turn in a space of two days and
how awkward the rest of my year is going to be. I can't get over how awesome sex
with Atha was. For a guy with little experience, he sure does know how to pleasure a
girl. I got out the shower before my thoughts get carried away. when I got to our
room, Enhle was fully dressed and ready to leave.

me: it's either I'm really late or you are way too early this morning

Enhle: well it's a bit of both actually but more of the latter than the former. I'm walking
to school with Phila today.

For a moment there I thought she was blushing. This sucks. I want to hear the
details before the news gets cold. Enhle must have seen the disappointed look on
my face.

Her: I will change my plans so we can catch up on our way to school.

me: let me call Phila on your behalf and apologize.

I reached for my phone but I soon realized that I don't have airtime so I used Enhle's
phone. I didn't think she would have his number already so I checked it from my
phone and dialled it and to my surprise I discovered his name was saved as "My
Smile Keeper". That's the sweetest thing I've ever seen

me: so yes, tell me all the details. make sure you don't miss a thing.

We walked to school. She smiled and began telling me the story of the events of
Saturday.

Her: the day he walked me to the hostel, he didn't say much. He asked if I could be
his date to Athandwe's party and I asked him why I should go with him. He just
smiled and said he will see me on Saturday at the party and He left. I was so
annoyed at how arrogant this guy is but at the same time I was curious to find out
what he was all about.

She started getting that girly smile and I knew things are about to get interesting.

Her: when I got to the party I wanted to look for him but at the same time I wanted
him to find me so I just chilled and talked to some girls from class and he made his
way to find me. He greeted and we started talking. The more we talked, the more I
realized that we had a lot in common and that he wasn't so arrogant after all. Since
he didn't seem like he was going to ask for my number, I fished for his phone in his
pocket and saved my number. A few minutes before you and Asa came down, he
asked me to spend the night in the hostel with him. I was a bit skeptical about it but
he reassured me that nothing was going to happen. We are just going to talk. At the
hostel we talked until 5am and only then did we fall asleep. That's why I couldn't
respond to your text. We are officially dating now

My best friend finally has a boyfriend and she is happy. I'm happy for her too.
Insert 10

The school bell rang as we entered the school and Enhle and I had to go our
separate ways. I caught a glimpse of Athandwe as I headed to class but luckily, he
didn't see me. When I entered class, Phila was already there and I went and sat next
to him. I think he is in an even happier mood than Enhle. New love is always so nice
to witness. I greeted him and sat down. We had LO first period and it was just a free
period for us because our teacher never does anything unless it's PE day. I took out
my phone and started texting Asa:

To: My Baby>

hey babe, what class do you have now?

I want to sneak out of class and go meet him in the prefect room. With everything
that had happened this weekend, he is the one person who had the least of my
attention. He texted me back almost immediately:

From: My Baby>

babe I have Afrikaans now. we are doing the last few orals and I already did
mine. what's up?

This is perfect. my plan is going to work but the only thing worrying me now is
whether I should confess about Athandwe or not. I don't even know what is really
going on between him and I. We had sex...great sex and that is it. It happened once
but deep down I want it to happen over and over again but I love my boyfriend and I
don't want us to break up. I sent him another text:

To: My Baby>

meet me in the prefect room now.

Phila happened to see my last text and laughed while giving me that "don't do
anything I wouldn't do" look. I just smiled at him and walked up to the teacher to ask
permission to go to the bathroom. He agreed and I walked out. When I got to the
prefect room, I sat on the couch and waited for Asa...who didn't take that long to
arrive. He walked in and gave me a hug and I went for a kiss. The kiss was long and
neither of us wanted to break it.
Asa: wow. what did I do to deserve that?

me: that's what you get for being the best boyfriend any girl could ever ask for.

We talked for the rest of the hour about everything and anything. I didn't tell him
about what I did with Atha though. He asked me if I can come over to his room after
school. He has a surprise for me. Now I was feeling even guiltier. I tried to get out of
it but he promised he won't take long so I agreed. The bell rang and we had to leave
for our next class.
Insert 11

Second period wasn't as chilled as the first one. We actually did some learning up
until the bell rang for break time. I decided to spend my break in the classroom
because I don't want to be with my boyfriend and my best friend/friend with
benefits/lover or whatever Athandwe is to me now. I sat in the classroom and went
through my Facebook news feed and twitter timeline. I was so focused on my phone
that I didn't hear the door open. Next thing I heard was Athandwe's voice.

Atha: I knew I would find you here.

me: how did you know?

him: every time you feel like hiding from the world you don't come out during break.
That's what happened when Phila found out that you were cheating on him with Asa
and it happened for the whole week after you fell on stage at the assembly

me: you just had to bring that up hey?

He smiled that gorgeous smile of his that shows his dimples.

him: now I just have to find out why you are hiding today or rather who you are hiding
from.

He pulled a chair and sat down on front of me. My heart started racing. I didn't want
to look at him so I played with me fingers. He lifted my head up with his fingers and
our eyes met. I wanted him to kiss me the way he had kissed me on Saturday night. I
wanted his hands all over my body again and just to be lost in his embrace. What is
wrong with me?! This guy is making me feel things I've never felt before and he
doesn't even know it.

me: I'm not hiding. I just need a bit of time to take in everything that's happened over
the past weekend. It’s a lot to take in

Him: well my parents aren't coming back until Wednesday so maybe you can come
over and we can figure things out together.

I laughed because I knew what he meant by figuring things out together. As much as
I want that, it is just going to complicate my life even more. We were so lost on each
other that we didn't hear Asande come in.
Asa: what do you guys need to figure out together and why are you in here alone?

I froze because at that moment I didn't know how much of the conversation he had
heard. Athandwe quickly answered him.

Atha: Your girlfriend is struggling with maths so I offered to help her.

It looks like my boyfriend is actually buying into this maths story.

Asa: oh, ok buy that has to wait until tomorrow because she is all mine this
afternoon.

We kissed and I could sense the jealousy on Atha but I pretended that I didn't see it.
The bell rang and the boys left for class and I rushed to the bathroom.

The rest of the day went by very quickly and before I knew it, it was home time. I was
quiet throughout the day and even Phila asked me if I was ok. I was surprised that
he noticed since he was on cloud 9 the whole day. When I walked out of class Asa
was already waiting for me outside the door. He held my hand and we walked to his
hostel.

me: babe what's the big surprise kanti?

him: you are going to have to wait and see.

me: ok give me a hint ke

him: nope. just be patient babe

Insert 12

Eventually we arrived in his room and there it was...my surprise. It was the most
beautiful thing I've ever seen and the most romantic thing any guy has ever done for
me. if I was one of those emotional people then I would have cried. On his bed were
rose petals which formed a heart and on his table were red heart shaped candles,
my favourite album was playing in the background and there was a silver box on the
bed. The box was a bit big and I wondered what could be in there.

Asa: open it

I did as I was told and found my favourite chocolates, a pair of beautiful earrings and
something I didn't expect to see...a box of Durex condoms.

it’s quite obvious that this guy is on a mission and I don't blame him. We've been
dating for a while now and it only makes sense for him to think we are at the stage of
the relationship whereby we can get naked together. I was overwhelmed. I want to
but at the same time I'm not ready. I know it doesn't make much sense that with Atha
it was just so easy but I don't feel ready to do it with my boyfriend. I panicked and I
want him to see the panic in my eyes so he can tell me that we don't have to do this
right now...but he didn't. He sat down next to me and started kissing me
passionately. His hand reached for my breasts and he started fondling with them. I
wanted to stop him but I got lost in the moment. At this point I have a million thoughts
running through my mind but I put them on hold. He unbuttoned my shirt and
lowered me on to the bed. I removed my shirt and he removed his. He got on top of
me and continued kissing me. Now that he was directly on top of me, I could feel the
bulge in his pants and that got me excited. He unzipped my skirt and pulled it down. I
was now left in my panties and bra. I felt so exposed... especially because he looked
at me in a way he had never looked at me before. We have made out before but
never went all the way but the look he gave me now was new to me. It was a look of
desire, hunger and lust all in one. I must admit, I liked the way he looked at me.

He took off his pants, briefs and my underwear. He handed me the condom. He
wanted me to put it on him. I got nervous because I've never had to do that before.

him: relax. I will guide you.

I nodded. I ripped the wrapper and took out the latex. He showed me exactly how to
hold and position it over the head of his king and as much as I tried not to shake, I
did. luckily, I got it right the first time around. He climbed on top of me and started
kissing my neck. I moaned every time his soft lips touched my neck. He put his
fingers between mine and slowly penetrated me. It was easy access because I was
so wet. We didn't even have foreplay but he managed to get me so wet. I don't
understand how and I don't care. He didn't go all the way in, he teased me at the
entrance and I wanted it all. I begged for more and he gave it to me. He went back
and forth and I moaned like crazy. Just as it was getting good, he came. I wasn't
anywhere near cuming and it was over. I'm disappointed but I don't want to show it. I
love Asande and I don't want to break his heart. He removed the condom, threw it on
the floor and we cuddled for what felt like forever. I looked at him

me: I love you baby. that was awesome

Asa: yeah it was. I love you too

I lied but what choice did I have?

An hour later we got up, got dressed and he walked me to my hostel. I was quiet the
whole way there. I felt so bad. How could I enjoy sex with Atha more than I did with
my boyfriend? what kind of a girlfriend am I?

Asa: what's wrong?

me: nothing is wrong my love. I'm just a bit tired and overwhelmed by what just
happened in your room

him: do you regret it?

me: I would never regret anything I do with you.

We laughed and continued walking. We got to the gate. he gave me a hug, kissed
my forehead and told me he loves me. I could tell how happy I just made him and I
was happy that he is happy
Insert 13

When I got to the room, my roommate wasn't there and I was glad because I needed
a bit of me time. I took a shower, got into my pyjamas and started studying. Studying
makes me crave junk food and my stash has run out. I looked at the time, it was too
late to even think of getting snacks so I took a break from studying and went on
BBM. I wrote a status saying "craving for junk food and it’s so late" and then I
checked all my other social networks. 15 minutes later I went back to my books and
that's when my roommate walked in. I checked the time and its 21:30.

me: is this the time to come home young lady?

Enhle: sorry mommy, I was with Phila and we lost track of time.

We both laughed. She went to take a shower and I went back to my books. I usually
put my phone on silent but somehow, I forgot to do that today and it rang. It was
Athandwe calling. oh gosh! What does he want?

me: hello

Atha: hey, how's the studying?

me: studying is coming along. how did you know I was studying?

him: forget that. come downstairs. I have a surprise for you.

The way I'm getting surprises today, it’s starting to scare me.

me: ok

I went outside. its summer so it’s quite hot and my summer pyjamas are very short. I
got to his car and he opened the passenger side door and I got in.

A part of me feels guilty for being here but he is still my friend after all and the
awkwardness was slowly going away.

me: hey Atha

Atha: hey Lwa

We hugged

me: shouldn't you be studying?

him: I can't study with you all over my mind

me: get me off your mind then

him: easier said than done. Anyway, I saw your BBM status and I just thought I
should surprise you.

He handed me a plastic filled with snacks and sweets. What is this guy doing to me
though?!

me: wow you really shouldn't have but I'm glad you did.

I reached over to give him a big and he kissed me. I wanted to back away but I
couldn't. He eventually broke the kiss.

me: Atha this is wrong

him: but it feels right

I soon realized that my pyjama shorts have lifted up and my thighs are now exposed.
He placed his hand on my thigh and I quickly removed it.

me: I have to go.

I opened the door and as I was about to get out, he stopped me.

him: wait. Lwa please come over tomorrow after school. I need to figure this out and
so do you. I know you feel what I feel and we can't keep avoiding it.

I want to but I can't always do what I want. I know for a fact that if I go there
tomorrow, Athandwe and I won't be able to control ourselves.

me: I don't need to figure anything out. I love Asa and he is my boyfriend. Whatever
you feel for me, I feel for him. You and I are just friends and we should never have
crossed that line. Goodbye Athandwe.

I walked out the car...taking my plastic of goodies with. He opened his door and tried
to come after me but I ran. I ran until I got to my room but I hesitated before opening
the door. My chest was tightening, my heart was racing and my stomach was
turning. I felt sick, like I needed to throw up. I was hurting but no tears were coming
out even though I felt like I was crying. After eventually catching my breath, I opened
the door and walked in. I was hoping my roommate was already sleeping so I
wouldn't have to answer a lot of questions on where I was and who I was with but
she was wide awake. Enhle had her headsets on so she just waved when I walked
in. from the moment I sat on my chair, tears just rolled down my cheeks but why was
I crying? I just did the right thing and yet it hurt so bad. A few weeks ago, Atha was
nothing more than a good friend to me but now kisses and sex have changed
everything. Now we are almost strangers. I won't blame him of he never wants to talk
to me ever again. I don't deserve to have him or Asande in my life. I felt so bad that
without even realizing it, I cried myself to sleep.
Insert 14

A few days have passed since I blew off my best friend as if he means nothing to
me. I still feel the guilt as of it had just happened yesterday. I've been avoiding him at
school and he has been keeping his distance from me naye. Its Saturday today and
our school is traveling to another school for a sports' day. Since I'm head girl and a
part of the netball team, I have to go as well. I'm really not up to it though. I looked at
the time and it's 6AM. I got out of bed, took a shower and got ready to head to
school. Enhle was ready before me and we left our room together. It’s a bit of an
awkward walk because I've practically distanced myself from everyone who is close
to me. This thing with Athandwe has messed me up. It has just turned into a big
mess. as we passed the boys' hostel, Phila and Asande were coming out the gate
and we walked together. We got to school at 7:15AM and the bus has arrived. We
are set to leave school at 7:30AM so as the prefects we are responsible for making
sure that everyone is seated in the bus. Only two of the teachers are going to be
traveling in the bus, the rest are taking their cars. While I was busy calling the
register for the kids on the bus, I felt a buzz in my pocket. I reached for my phone
and it was Asa calling.

me: hello love

Asa: hey babe listen, Atha is here and he is driving his car so he wants us to ditch
the bus and go with him.

I'm surprised that Atha still wants to be around me after I blew him off the other night.

me: but you know at least 1 head prefect needs to be in the bus. it's the rules and if
you, Atha and myself ditch the bus, who is going to be representing the heads?

him: but baby Enhle and Phila are still going to be taking the bus and Enhle will
representing the heads.

I don't feel like arguing with him so I just agreed.

me: ok fine. let me finish taking the register and I will come to you guys.

After I finished taking the register, I went to the teacher and told her that Atha, Asa
and I will be traveling in Atha's car and Enhle will be representing the head prefects
in the bus. She agreed and I got off the bus. I called Enhle and I told her that I won't
be on the bus. She laughed at me and told me to enjoy my threesome. I can't handle
that girl and her jokes sometimes. When I got to Atha's car, I saw that Asa is in the
driver's seat and Atha is sitting in the backseat. I went to Asa's window.

me: baby, why are you driving?

him: well Mr Athandwe requested that I drive and he will drive when we come back.
he also requested that both of you to sit at the back because he thinks I will be
distracted by your sexiness if you sit in the front.

What the hell is Athandwe up to? I don't feel like arguing so I just agreed. Atha
opened the door for me. I got in, pit my seatbelt on and Asa started driving.
Insert 15

Atha: so, you don't greet anymore?

I didn't even realize that I didn't greet him.

me: my bad. hey Atha, how are you?

him: hey Lwa

There is so much tension in this car and Asa is just oblivious to it. It’s quiet except for
the radio that's playing. I took my phone out and checked my social networks. I went
on bbm and sent Enhle a text:

To: Bestie>

hey Nana how's the bus without me?

She took her time in responded so while I waited for her response, I received a BBM
text from Atha. I don't understand why he is texting me while I'm sitting next to him

From: My Guy>

do you understand how much I just want to lift your skirt up right now and put
my fingers in you?

I'm so shocked by this text. My boyfriend is in the same car with us and Atha wants
to do the most inappropriate things to me. I'm not gonna lie, that text did turn me on
a little. I'm judging my body so badly right now for the betrayal. I ignored both Atha
and my body. I put my phone away and Asa eventually broke the silence.

Asa: Atha I hope you are not bothering my wife over there.

Atha: I wouldn't do anything to her that she doesn't want me to do to her. I'm a
gentleman after all.

They both laughed and I was slowly getting annoyed.

Atha: bro you are already calling her your wife but you still haven't done things that
husbands so to wives. I know you know what I mean.

Now this conversation is getting a bit uncomfortable for me because I didn't tell Atha
that Asa and I have done the deed already but then again, I'm not obliged to tell him.
He is just a friend after all. We eventually got to the school and as Asa stopped the
car, I was getting ready to get out as fast as possible.

Asa: Dude she finally let me go all the way with her so you must check your facts bro

Atha was angry. I got out the car and I left them there. The bus had already arrived
so I set off to find Enhle. I found her outside the bus. She was giving instructions to
the other learners. I stood aside and let her finish. While I was waiting for her, I felt
someone roughly grabbing my arm and pulling me aside. It was Athandwe
Insert 16

me: ouch! what the hell is wrong with you?

I was furious but he was even more furious than I've ever seen him.

Atha: so, you let him fuck you? After everything that we've been through the past
couple of weeks. After everything that I told you about how I feel and after I showed
you over and over again that I love you and I'm serious about you, you still let him
fuck you. why Lwa?

I couldn't believe my ears and I was getting even more pissed off. When I'm pissed
off, my hands start shaking a little. I slapped him across the face and left him
standing there. I went to the bathroom because I needed to calm down. I walked in,
closed the door, closed the toilet seat cover and sat on it and just cried. It was not a
loud cry. Just a silent one but a cry nonetheless. After I was done, I flushed. Even
though I didn't use it. I walked towards the basins and washed my face and walked
out. I eventually found Enhle again and we went to warm up with our team because
the second team is going to play first and I play for the second team. Even though I
am a bit distracted, I have to get my head in the game and focus. After we warmed
up, we changed into our netball uniforms which were short skirts and vests. The
uniform looked good on me because of my body shape. Boys from the school we are
playing against also came to watch. They cheered their team on and made fun of us
just as a way to distract us but we still beat them anyway. Throughout the game
there was this guy from the other school that was watching us. He wasn't with the
group that was cheering though. He was just standing alone...looking at us. After the
game we all went under the tree where our bags are. I opened my bag and reached
for my Powerade drink and downed it. Then suddenly I heard a voice behind me.

Him: hey

I turned around and saw that it’s the guy that was watching us alone.

me: hey

him: can I talk to you?

The girls made funny noises and I just laughed it off.

me: yeah sure

We went to sit by the staircase inside the school. Now this guy is very cute. He is tall,
light in complexion, he has pink lips, one dimple on his right cheek and he has
brackets.
Insert 17

Him: My name is Enzo by the way

me: nice to meet you Enzo. I'm Lwa

Enzo: so, you are not going to give me your full name just because I didn't give you
my full name?

I smiled...not because of what he had said but rather because of the way his voice
sounded. He has a bit of a deep voice but it was not too deep.

me: I'm not that petty. I just figured that because I can figure your full name, you can
do the same with my name.

him: ok so what's my full name?

me: Lorenzo obviously

him: wrong. let's not make assumptions. let's just introduce ourselves fully and
properly.

me: ok I'll go first. I'm Lwandile Hadebe. I'm 17, in matric and I'm the head girl at my
school. I have 2 brothers, no sisters and I play netball

I don't want to give him too much information.

him: are you Xhosa?

me: no. I'm Zulu but I grew up here in the Eastern Cape so I do know a bit of Xhosa.

him: ok. I'm Enzokuhle Olwami Khumalo. I'm 17 and I'm in matric as well. I have one
brother, he's 24 and I have one sister. she's 12 and I play soccer.

me: so, where are you from?

him: I'm from Durban

me: alright. it was a pleasure meeting you Enzo. I have to go. I want to watch the first
rugby team.

Asa, Phila and Atha play for the first team so I was gonna watch them but I'm not
gonna be supporting Atha. I'm mad at him.
Enzo walked with me to the rugby field. as we were walking, Enhle came towards us
and walked with us.

Enhle: hey friend, where did you disappear to

me: somewhere. friend this is Enzo. Enzo, this is Enhle.

Enzo: nice to meet you Enhle

Her: nice to meet you too

we got to the stands by the rugby field and sat by the ones with the most shade. we
watched the game but neither of us were really sure of what was happening and
honestly, we got bored. Enzo could see that we were bored.

Enzo: you guys look so bored. why are you even watching this? is this Parr of the
head girl duties?

Enhle: more like girlfriend duties.

I gave her a little nudge and a weird look without Enzo seeing. I hope Enzo didn't
hear that

Enzo: so, your boyfriends play for the first team?

Enhle: my boyfriend plays for the first team and our friends.

Enzo: so Lwa do you have a boyfriend?

before I got a chance to answer, Enzo's phone rang and he answered it...
Insert 18

Enzo: my favourite girl, what's up?

I felt my heart sink a bit when I heard that. that must mean that he has a girlfriend. he
continued with his phone call and Enhle kept giving me strange looks. I knew what it
was about but I ignored her.

when Enzo finished with his call, he asked me to walk him somewhere.

Enzo: I want to introduce you to someone

me: who?

him: the person I was on the phone with just now.

right there and then I accepted that I'm getting friendzoned.

me: ok cool. let's go

we left Enhle by herself. we walked towards the indoor hockey court. when we
entered a little girl came towards us. she looks about 9 or 10years old. she gave
Enzo a hug.

Enzo: hey little sis. how was your game?

her: the game sucked. my teammates are crappy so obviously we lost.

I let out a soft chuckle. I couldn't get over how cute she is. she is short, caramel
skinned, big brown eyes and a cute afro.

Enzo: where are my manners. Lwa this is my baby sister Asemahle. Mahle this is
Lwa.

Asemahle and I hugged

me: but you told me that your sister is 12. Mahle looks 10 and she is so cute

Mahle: well I got it from my mama. please just call me Mahle. Everyone else does.

me: ok cool. nice to meet you Mahle.

her: nice to meet you too.

before we knew it all the sports ended and I had to leave.

me: guys I have to go

Enzo: may I please have your number

me: sure

he gave me his phone and I saved my number.

we hugged and he smelt so good. I almost didn't want to let go.

As everyone was getting on the bus, I waited for everyone to be seated, I took the
register to make sure no one gets left behind and then I got off the bus. as I got off, I
bumped into Phila.

me: hey

Phila: hi

me: I have a favor to ask

him: what's up?

me: please trade seats with me. I miss my friend so I want to ride on the bus and you
can ride in the car with the guys.

him: ok cool

me: thanks

I got on the bus and sat next to Enhle. she was not happy to see me

me: hey girl

Enhle: hi

me: are you mad at me?

her: I'm not necessarily mad at you. its just that I feel like I don't know you anymore.
you have changed so much this year to the extent that I think you don't even know
yourself. you used to love Asa, he was the centre of your world. you guys used to be
an inspiration to the rest of us that were not in relationships. I used to tell myself that
when I eventually start dating, I want to be the kind of girlfriend Lwa is to Asa but
now I don't think I still feel the same way. you sneak around with Atha, having sex
with him and now you hide it from a guy you just met that you have a boyfriend. if
you don't love Asa anymore, why don't you just break up with him?

me: I do love Asa

her: you really have a funny way of showing it

she then faced the window. I was left with shock. I've never heard her speak to me
the way she did. I was almost in tears. what got to me is that she had a valid point.
what was I doing with Atha? why did I not tell Enzo I have a boyfriend? do I really still
love Asa? these are all the things I need to figure out before this whole mess blows
up in my face.
Insert 19

We arrived at school and I got off the bus and immediately walked to the hostel. I got
to my room, took off my clothes, wrapped myself in a towel and went to shower. I
took a long shower and after I had had enough, I got out and went back to my room.
I got dressed in my pyjamas, got in bed. I switched off my phone and tried sleeping.
Enhle was not back yet so I didn't have any awkwardness to deal with. I drifted off to
dreamland.

I was woken up from my deep sleep by a knock on the door. I rubbed my eyes and
checked the time and it was 6PM. I had been asleep for just 2 hours. I got out of bed
and went to go answer the door. I opened the door and there he was. He was just
standing there looking hot. He tried to smile and his dimples showed just a little. For
a moment there I almost forgot how angry I am at him.

Me: Athandwe what do you want?

Atha: may I come in?

I moved out the way and he followed me. I sat on the bed and he sat on the chair.
The whole setting reminded me of the first time he kissed me.

Me: why are you here? you know if Enhle finds you here, I will have a lot of
questions to answer.

Him: Enhle is not going to find me here. Enhle is spending the night with Phila and
Asa said he is going to sleep early because he is too tired. so, relax. no one is going
to find me here. its just the two of us.

Me: ok that's nice(sarcasm), so what do you want?

Him: I was hoping we could talk. I was rude to you earlier and I would really like to
apologize. I was angry and I should not have taken it out on you. I'm really sorry
Lwa. its just that I really love you and sometimes I can't control it.

I just sat there and looked at him. As he spoke I remembered every detail of our
earlier conversation and my blood started to boil but I kept my cool.

Me: are you done?

Him: yes
I got up from the bed

Me: please leave

Him: do you at least forgive me?

I kept quiet. he moved closer to me. I took a step back. He moved closer again and I
took another step back but this time I fell on the bed. as I sat up on the bed, he
grabbed both my hands and kneeled down in front of me.

him: look I know you are mad at me and I understand that. if you want me to leave
you alone, I will. if you don't want us to be friends, we will stop being friends. just tell
me what you want and I will do it.
Insert 20

He made so much sense but the only problem is that I don't know what I want. My
heart started beating fast. He is just 2 cm away from my face. He licked his lips and I
couldn't take it anymore. I leaned in towards him and I kissed him. He responded to
the kiss with no hesitation. the kiss got heated and no one intended on breaking it
off. he took off my pyjama top and I wasn't wearing a bra. He started kissing and
biting my neck. I let out a soft moan. He moved on planting kisses on my breasts,
sucking and biting them. By this moment he was hard and I was wet so there was no
turning back. I took off his T-shirt, exposing his abs and his v-line. Sexy doesn't even
begin to describe this guy. He then took off my pyjama shorts and left me in my
panties. Those panties were not on for very long. He took them off using his teeth.
He spread my legs open and went down on me. Starting by slowly licking my queen.
He licked up, down, left, right and in circular movements. I was so close to my
orgasm and I wasn't even penetrated yet. He took his time down there and after I
had my orgasm, he took his pants off then he took his briefs off. He fished for a
condom in his pocket and put it on. He got on top of me and went inside me. I felt
like I was in heaven. He started moving slowly at first. He then put my legs on his
shoulders and picked up the pace. I was moaning and screaming while pulling on my
sheets. I could feel my second orgasm building up and I could tell that he was about
to cum as well. He pounded at me a few more times and then we came together. He
pulled out from me, tied a knot on the condom and placed it on the floor. I got up and
reached for toilet paper. He took it from me, wiped me clean and wrapped the used
condom. We cuddled and no one broke the silence. I remembered that my phone
was off so I reached for it and switched if on them I placed it back on the table. Atha
broke the silence.

Atha: so, what exactly does this mean?

I didn't want to ruin the moment but I did not have an answer for him so I kept quiet.

Him: Lwa?

Just before I could answer him, his phone rang.

Him: hey bruh what's up?

He continued with his call while I checked my phone. I had a WhatsApp text from
Asa:

From: My Baby

hey baby. I'm coming to see you since I didn't get to see much of you today.

Insert 21

When I saw the message, I panicked. Atha was still on the phone. I tried calling Asa
but he didn't answer his phone. I started panicking even more. I quickly tried getting
dressed and Atha just laid on my bed looking at me. He was still naked.

Atha: why are you in such a hurry to get dressed? I was still enjoying our cuddling
session.

Me: please just get dressed and leave. Asa is on his way here

Atha just laughed at me and chilled on the bed

Him: that was Asa that I was talking to on the phone. He wanted to know where I am
because they have a situation at their hostel that I could help with because I have a
car so relax please. I told him I'm at home already.

He reached for his briefs and put them on. I was now fully dressed and Atha was just
in his briefs. Next thing I heard an knock on the door and before I had a chance to
respond, the door opened and Asa walked in. He saw Atha in his briefs, the tissues
on the floor and the condom wrapper. He must have put two and two together
because he just stormed out. I ran after him and eventually caught up with him at the
gate.

Me: babe wait. I can explain

He stopped and looked at me

Asa: what exactly can you explain Lwandile? I'm not an idiot so I know exactly what I
saw so unless you want to spin me a story...there is nothing you can explain to me.

Me: baby please. can we just go to your room, sit down and talk about this, please?

Him: fine
We walked in silence to his hostel and when we got to his room I was scared. I
wasn't afraid of what he would do to me but I was rather afraid of losing him. There
was an awkward silence.

Him: you said you want to talk. now talk

Me: baby I'm really sorry. I didn't plan what happened between Atha and I. he came
over to my room because he wanted to apologize and things got out of control.

I was now in tears

Him: apologize for what exactly?

Now I didn't know what to say. Should I tell him the truth or should I make up a story.

Me: he had been rude to me earlier. that's why I didn't ride in the car back with you
guys. I was mad at him

Him: what exactly is going on between the two of you? do you love him?

I kept quiet because I really didn't know the answers to those questions.

Him: Lwandile ngikhuluma nawe nje (I'm talking to you)

Me: I don't know.

He went quiet. I was still panicking but I also kept quiet

Him: please leave. I can't stand you right now

My heart was crushed but I got up and walked towards the door. when I got to it, I
turned around

Me: I love you Asa and I'm sorry

I waited for a response but it never came. I left. When I got back to my room Atha
was still there. When I saw him tears rolled down my cheeks and I couldn't control
them. He came closer to me and held me tight. He is still my friend and I can't stop
him from wanting to comfort me. When I was calm, he left and promised to check up
on me the next day. I got in bed and tried sleeping. My phone rang and I didn't
recognize the number so I didn't answer. I was not in the mood to talk to strangers.
The number called again and I still didn't answer. I received a text from the same
number:
From: +27833299764>

hey Lwa its Enzo. just wanted to check if you got back to your school safely.
this is my number. text me when you can. goodnight

Before I could respond to Enzo's text, I received a text from Asa. I was scared to
open it. What if he dumped me?! I decided to open it:

From: My Baby>

I really don't know what's up with you and Atha and as a matter of fact, I really
don't care. I know you love me but I know there is something you feel for Atha.
I don't know exactly what it is and I doubt you do as well. so here is the deal,
I'm not going to share you. you need to figure out what you want and take it
from there. I'm willing to wait for you for a month while you figure things out.
call it a break or a break up, its all up to you. goodnight

After reading Asa's text I was lost for words. It was only then that I realized how my
actions had hurt him and that he didn't deserve this. Tears started coming back
again and my chest was hurting and my body felt numb. I cried myself to sleep
Insert 22

To say that life is unpredictable is an understatement. You might have a particular

plan on how you want your life to be. How you want certain things to turn out and life
will throw a bombshell on you and take you completely off your path. There is a
saying that goes "the nice thing about hitting rock bottom is that you have nowhere
else to go but up." I really like this saying but was it relevant to my situation? Had I
really hit rock bottom? One might say that my problems are minor and there is
someone else out there going through worse things. To me that sounds stupid
because this is the worst for me.

Its the last week of the first term and I could not be happier that school is closing and
I'm going home in a few days. There is truly no place like home. I woke up at the
normal time that I usually wake up at, went to go take a shower and had my
breakfast. things between Enhle and I were still a bit rocky but she has been here for
me throughout the Asa and Atha saga. I was expecting a lot of 'I told you so's' from
her but I never received any. she really was a great friend and I was lucky to have
her.

When we were done getting ready, we grabbed our school bags and headed for
school. as we passed the boys' hostel, Phila and Asa were walking out. I could tell
that Enhle wanted to walk with her boo

Me: friend you can go walk with your man. I don't mind

Enhle: are you sure girl?

Me: yeah, I insist.

Her: ok I will see you later

I ended up walking all the way to school by myself and I did not mind. I arrived at
school and went to sit in our class. I was not in the mood of being around a lot of
people. I took out my phone and played a game on it. I was so caught up in my
game that I didn't see one of my classmates walk in.

Him: hey

I got the shock of my life. I almost fell off my chair.

Him: I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to scare you

We laughed it off. his name is Philani or Phiwo, I'm not sure but its something along
those lines

Him: you are Lwa right?

Me: yes, that's my name. and you are Philani, right?

Him: its actually Phehello but you were close enough

Me: my bad. its nice to meet you.

Phehello: its nice to officially meet you Lwa. we shall talk some other time.

He got up and went to sit where he usually sits during class. He seemed like a nice
guy but I'm not looking for any new guy friends. I have come to the realization that
guy friends are nothing but trouble. speaking of guy friends, Phila walked in and
came to sit next to me

Me: morning

Phila: hi

Me: are you ok?

Him: i'm fine

Me: so, what's with the cold shoulder? did I do something to you that I'm not aware
of?

He just gave me a disgusted look and looked away. He started talking to me but
without looking my direction

Him: you are never going to change. are you ever going to stop cheating though?
you are the most selfish person I have ever met. you never think of anyone but
yourself. its always about Lwandile and no one else. you are so clouded by your
selfishness that you never see eve when you have a good thing going. when you left
me for Asa I assumed that maybe it was because I was not good enough for you or I
did not give you everything that you required in a relationship but now I have come to
realize that you are the problem. one day you are going to look back on the
relationships that you have ruined because you couldn't keep your legs closed and
regret your actions

What Phila said really hurt my feelings. he was blunt.

Me: firstly, stop acting like you know me because you don't and secondly just stay
the fuck out of my business. nxa

I looked around to see if there was an open seat and luckily there was one next to
Phehello. I stood up, grabbed my school bag and walked towards the seat. I sat
down. He looked at me but said nothing. I was close to bursting into tears and he
most probably noticed it but I did not care. We had register, first period came, we did
calculus and trigonometry graphs. It was a double period of maths so when maths
ended, it was break time and I was not going to go out.
Insert 23

As I was sitting in class playing games on my phone, I was interrupted by a familiar

voice.

Asa: you really don't need to isolate yourself from your friend just because you and I
are going through something.

Asa and I haven't spoken since the day he busted in on Atha and I. He walked
towards me and pulled a chair and sat down. He could tell that I had been crying but
he didn't say anything about it. We just sat in silence

Him: so why are you sitting here by yourself

Me: my friends seem to have take your side in all of this and to be honest I don't
blame them

Him: so how will isolating yourself help you? Atha is absent and our whole group is
falling apart because of you guys.

Atha! I had completely forgotten about him since we got busted. He had said he was
going to check up on me yesterday but he didn't come. I hope nothing bad happened
to him. Asa could see that my mind was distracted now

Him: I just wanted to check on you so I guess I will see you around.

Me: thanks

He got up and left. as soon as he walked out the doo, I reached for my phone and
called Atha. The phone rang 5 times before he answered it.

Atha: hello

He sounded down

Me: hey Atha, how are you? are you ok?

Him: I'm ok. I'm great actually. what's up?

Me: great? so if you are so great, why are you not at school?

Him: I'm not at school because I'm not in the mood of getting another lecture from
Enhle and Phila about how I changed you to someone they can't even recognize
anymore. I'm also not up for walking around school with a blue eye. I will return to
school next term.

I was so confused.

Me: lectures from Enhle and Phila? blue eye? what are you talking about? when did
you get lectures and who gave you a blue eye?

Him: Enhle and Phila called me Saturday night, shouted and swore at me. Sunday
morning your boyfriend rocked up at my house, punched me and left. I thought you
knew

During the most of this very confusing phone call, the bell rang and break ended.

Me: I will call you after school

The rest of the day went by and when school ended, I walked alone to the hostel.

Him: mind if I join you?

I turned around and it was Phehello.

Me: yeah sure but where are you off to?

Phehello: I'm actually going to the school in the other side of town. my girlfriend goes
to that school and I'm going to see her.

that made me think of Enzo. I'm not in the mood to see Enhle after what Atha told me
so I decided to go to Enzo' s school and see him.

Me: please wait for me while I change so we can go together.

Him: ok I will wait under the tree over there

I quickly changed into casual clothes. I wore black ripped jeans, white T-shirt and
white allstars. I grabbed my side-bag and went outside. When we were in the taxi we
chatted about random things. I was waiting for him to ask me about my behavior in
class today but he didn't. It was like the whole thing never happened. I sent Enzo a
text:

To: Enzo>
hey stranger...I'm on my way to your side of town and I was wondering if we
could meet up

after 5 minutes Enzo replied.

From: Enzo>

stranger? I should be calling you that. I have soccer practice right now for the
next 30minutes but I will ask Mahle to meet you at the gate and you can chill
with her until I'm done. there is no way I'm going to pass on a chance to see
you

I smile at his reply and carried on talking to Phehello. Phehello was a nice guy to talk
to, he didn't get too personal so it was just touch and go conversations. When we got
to the school Mahle was waiting for me. She ran up to me and gave me a hug

Me: hey baby girl, how are you?

Mahle: I'm good and you?

Me: I'm good too. this is Phehello. Phehello this is Mahle

Mahle: is he your boyfriend?

Me: no he is my classmate. he is here to see his girlfriend actually and I'm here to
see your brother.

Phehello and I went our separate ways. We exchanged numbers so that it will be
easier to find each other when we want to leave. Mahle and I walked towards the
soccer field where Enzo was practicing. We sat on the grass and watched them

Me: so, tell me about you and your brother. how are you guys Zulu but go to school
in the Eastern Cape?

Her: well it is a bit of a complicated story. you already know my name and surname
so I don't have to tell you that. I'm in grade 7 and I love playing Hockey which is
really weird because only my dad knows anything about hockey. the rest of my
family are into soccer and rugby. my mom is a prosecutor and my dad owns a sound
engineering company. my oldest brother's name is Landile and he is doing his final
year in BCom Law at wits. so, to answer your question on why we are here and yet
we are Zulu...Landile went to this school. his mom is from around EC so that's why
he came here. my dad thought it would be a good idea for all of us to go to the same
school but if you ask me, its was just dad's way of getting us all out the house so he
can have mom to himself

We carried on talking and before we knew it Enzo was done with practice and came
to join us

Enzo: Lwa come give me a hug

He opened his arms towards me and I immediately got up and walked away. I was
not going to hug someone that is all sweaty

Me: maybe after you have taken a shower

Mahle: I have to go guys, I have hockey practice.

Me: bye and enjoy practice

We hugged again then Enzo and I walked to his room.

Insert 24

We got to his room and he went to shower. While I waited for him to finish, I received
a text from Enhle:

From: Bestie>

I was hoping to find you in the room so we can get a chance to talk. where are
you and when are you coming back?

The nerve of this girl. All along she has been playing the supportive best friend kanti
she know knows how she has been treating Atha. I was mad at her and I considered
ignoring her text but I thought if I did she is going to call Atha and shout at him again.
I didn't want to drag Atha into this.

To: Bestie>

I'm with Enzo at his school. I'm not sure when I will be back.

I wanted to switch my phone off after that but because I was waiting on Phehello's
call, I couldn't. Enzo was rather taking his time with that shower and I was getting
bored waiting for him. after what felt like hours, he came back.

Me: yoh you really know how to take your time

Him: was that long? Sorry for making you wait

Me: its ok.

Him: it's either you close your eyes while I change or you step outside for a few
minutes. its all up to you.

Me: I'll step outside

after a few minutes he was done and I went back in. we sat on the bed together

Him: so you decides to ignore my text on Saturday? what was up with that?

Me: eish I'm sorry hey. I was just going through so much that day that I forgot to
respond.

Him: what happened?

I told him everything. I don't know why but I felt comfortable around Enzo. He
listened to me without saying a word until I was done

Him: are you ok?

Wow. After what I had just told him, his first question is whether I'm ok. I was quite
surprised. Out of all my friends that knew about the whole thing, no one ever asked
me if I'm ok. Not even Atha himself.

Me: I will be fine hey. I have been through worse

We continued talking about school, family and relationships.

Him: so, what is your current relationship status?

Me: well I'm on a break. yours?

Him: I'm single. I've been single since I was in grade 9. I've just being focusing on
school, soccer and looking out for my little sister.

Me: so, does that mean you are a virgin?

Him: yes, I am

Me: wow

Him: don't say that, you are embarrassing me

Me: I'm sorry

Him: the whole virginity thing is a family thing. my dad lost his when he was 17, my
brother lost his when he was 19 and I'm losing mine when I'm 21 and don't think we
are forced. its a personal choice.

I was having fun with Enzo. I got to relax and not think about the horrible day I had at
school. Phehello called and it was time for us to go back to our school. Enzo walked
me out to the gate where Phehello was waiting. we hugged and said our goodbyes.
when I got to my room, it was just after 6PM and Enhle was lying on her bed. I
walked over to her side of the room and sat on her chair. she sat up.

me: you said you wanted us to talk

Insert 25

You know when a person wants to talk to you but they won't be fully honest with
you? It is such a waste of time because lies don't build anything, they just destroy
stuff. I looked Enhle in the eyes because I wanted her to see that I'm pissed.

Enhle: oh yes. Asa tells me that you think we have chosen sides. That we are on his
side and not yours. I just wanted to tell you that that's not true. You are still my best
friend and I will always be here for you.

So, Asa has been discussing us with Enhle. What did he hope to gain? A
cheerleader in his corner? I listened to Enhle and said nothing. The conversation I
had with Atha earlier was still playing on my mind but I didn't bring it up

Me: thanks. That's good to know.

I went over to my side of the room and texted Atha on BBM

To: My Guy>

hey

From: My Guy>

hey Lwa, what's up?

To: My Guy>

nothing much hey. I'm actually so mad at the people that attacked you. I just
think there was a better way to handle the whole situation.

From: My Guy>

what is done is done hey. its water under the bridge and I hope you didn't
confront anyone. everyone's blood is just boiling at the moment so I
understand. we were in the wrong

To: My Guy>

I guess so. as long as you are ok then its fine.

We texted for another hour then he had to go to gym. I felt less pissed now that I
have spoken to Atha. As much as I'm still not sure about my feelings for him, I know
that I do feel something more than friendship for him.

Out of nowhere I started missing my dad so I called him

Dad: hey baby

Me: hey daddy. I miss you

Him: I miss you too but you are coming home this weekend so we will see each
other soon

Me: I can't wait. are you picking me up?

Him: no baby girl your brother is picking you up

me: yho all the girls at school are going to be drool and throwing themselves at him.

My brother is quite a catch even if I say so myself. His name is Onami but we all call
him Nami. After talking to my dad, I decided to take a shower so that I can sleep.
after showering I got in bed and thought about Enzo. He is so different. I've never
met a guy my age that was still a virgin. A guy that loves and values family the way
he does. I also thought of his sister. I thought about how open and bubbly she is.
She is the kind of person that lights up a room when she walks in. Even though I
don't know them that well, they gave a great first impression. I want that kind of
relationship with my brothers. I think Enzo might just be the good influence that I
need in my life right now.
Insert 26

The last day of the term was here. Even though school is closing, we are not getting
our reports. They will be posted.

I woke up, took a shower and left for school. I didn't have breakfast because I didn't
want to see Enhle. I was still very angry with her. On my way to school, I called my
older brother

Me: hey big bro, how are you?

Nami: my favorite sister in the whole world. I'm good and, how are you?

My brother is a funny guy. It's impossible to have a conversation with him without
bursting into laughter.

Me: I'm good. What time are you picking me up?

Him: I will be there around 1PM.

I saw Phehello coming my way and ended the call with my brother. I walked towards
him

Phehello: hey Lwa

Me: hey. how are you?

Before he had a chance to answer, Phila interrupted us

Phila: you move on rather quickly. I must say

Me: fuck off

He kept quiet and walked past us. I got annoyed but I reminded myself that that he is
not worth my anger.

Phehello: what was that all about?

me: don't worry yourself about idiots.

Phila and his girlfriend Enhle really know how to get on my nerves. I know when
people are just trying to provoke me and I won't let them
Phehello and I laughed and went on with our walk. when we arrived at school, we sat
by the staircases. we couldn't sit in the class because we were going to have
assembly.

Him: excuse me Lwa, my girl just sent me a text so I want to give her a call before
the bell rings.

He got up and walked up stairs. I sat there alone going through my Facebook news
feed. I came across something that immediately caught my attention: "Asande Nxele
is now single". I didn't see this one coming. I thought we are on a break not a break
up. I liked the post just so he can know that I saw it. After a few minutes the bell
rang. I waited for Phehello then we went to assembly together. I had to leave him
though because school rules state that during assembly, head prefects sit together.
for me this means that I have to sit with people I didn't particular like.
Insert 27

Assembly was not long so that was a bit of a relief. as I was walking out of the school
hall, I felt someone pull my arm. I turned around and it was Asa

Asa: May I please talk to you?

Me: yeah

I followed him to the prefect room.

Him: are you dating that guy you have recently started hanging around with?

I immediately got annoyed.

Me: hey Asande, how are you? I'm good thanks for asking.

Him: I'm sorry. I didn't mean to be rude. I'm just curious that's all.

Asa is the type of guy that doesn't get loud or angry in a violent way. He is always so
chilled and mellow. That makes me scared of him.

Me: since you are now single, that means you shouldn't worry yourself about who I
date and who I hang out with. That stopped being any of your concern when you
changed your relationship status to single. Are we done here?

He was surprised. I don't know whether he though I had not seen the changed
relationship status or because I was now fed up with all of this and it was now
obvious

Him: what did you expect me to do? Still show off to the world that I'm still in a
relationship with you when you are still parading around school with other guys? Be
proud to call myself your boyfriend when you get on taxis to go see other guys at
another school? You text Atha all the time but I haven't heard from you since
Saturday. Is that what you want? For the whole school to look at me like I'm a fool?

This was a stupid fight and I didn't want to continue with it because it was leading us
nowhere.

Me: you said you are giving me a month, right? I shall get back to you in a month.
enjoy your holidays

I walked out.
Last day of term is usually short. at 10 AM school was out. I said my goodbyes to
Phehello. We agreed to text during the holidays. We hugged and I left. When I got to
the hostel, I started packing and even though my brother is never on time, I wanted
to be ready either way. as I was packing I received a text but I ignores it until I was
done. the text was from Atha

From: My Guy>

hey, what time are you leaving? I want to see you before you leave.

I wasn't sure whether seeing him would be a good idea. I really don't like awkward
situations

To: My Guy>

I'm leaving at 1. you can come through now because I'm done packing.

He texted back saying he is on his way. The way I feel about Asa has really changed
since I found out that he punched Atha. I'm all in for a guy to fight for what he wants
but I don't think violence is the way to do it. I'm still uncertain about what it is that I
feel for Atha and if I gave us a try, what would that mean for our friendship. If we
break up, would we be able to still be friends the way we are now? I was so lost in
my thoughts that I didn't hear Enhle come in.

Enhle: hey Lwa

Me: hey

Things were extremely awkward between us but I really did nor care. until she
apologizes to Atha, her and I have nothing to talk about. Atha called and I went
outside to his car.

Atha: hey, how are you?

Me: hey I'm good and you?

Him: I'm good too.

We hugged and I caught a glimpse of his blue eye. I don't blame him for skipping
school all week. it was that bad

Me: you look so gangster with that blue eye. I might just have a crush on you
Him: that wouldn't such a bad idea. so, did you miss me this week?

Me: nah not really. I found myself two new friends this week so I was covered

I stuck my tongue out at him

Mim: I will cut that tongue off. Do your new friends make you moan and orgasm as
much as I do?

I hit his arm playfully and laughed. We talked about other things

Him: let's go get ice-cream at McDonald's

Me: only if you get me a McFlurry

Him: ok fine

We drove to McDs and bought our ice cream through the drive thru and went back to
chill outside the hostel.

Him: I hear your boyfriend gave you an ultimatum. That you have to choose between
him and I. Have you made your decision?

For a moment I was surprised as to where he got that information but then I
remembered that Enhle, Phila or Asa could have told him.

Me: yes. He said he is giving me a month to make my decision but I'm ready to make
that decision now. Especially now that I know what he did to you
Insert 28

Atha: you better not choose me out of pity. Choose me because I give you a million
orgasms

Me: I'm not choosing anyone. my relationship with Asa has run its course and I am
not willing to deny that any longer. When it comes to me and you, things are
complicated. You have been my best friend for years now and I value that friendship
more than a million orgasms but I'm not gonna deny that I do have feelings for you. I
just think that the world is not ready for us right now. I do want to give us a try
sometime in the future. just not now.

He kept quiet for a while and then out of nowhere he grabbed my face, brought it
closer to his and kissed my forehead. I smiled and so did he. I checked the time and
it was already 12:45.

Me: Atha I have to go.

He got out the car and opened the door for me. Such a gentleman. We hugged and
he picked me up and held me for what felt like forever. He eventually let me go and I
went back in the hostel to wait for my brother to pick me up. At exactly 1PM Nami
called and told me he is outside.

Me: for once you are on time. What happened?

I got in the car, fastened my seatbelt and he drove off. My brother is tall, dark, skinny
and he has small eyes and a dimple. He is the only one in the family with that dimple
and he never let's us forget it

Nami: I was at home so dad forced me to leave early and come fetch you. He didn't
want his little princess to wait.

I just gave him an unimpressed look and kept quiet. Home is about 2hrs away from
school so it was going to be quite a long drive. For some reason Enzo crossed my
mind and I decided to send him a text:

To: Enzo>

hey buddy. So, I'm on my way home and you just crossed my mind. are you
guys also going home today?
I was a bit skeptical about calling Enzo buddy, just in case he had a thing for me and
wanted us to be more than friends but then I concluded that is is better for us to be
friends. I know i said i don't want anymore guy friends but he is different. The
exception to the rule. After some time, Enzo responded:

From: Enzo>

buddy? ouch I'm actually hurt. I was already naming our first kid and you come
and call me buddy. lol I'm kidding buddy. yes, we are flying home today as
well. our flight is in an hour. you better not be a stranger these holidays. you
must call or text me when you wake up and just before you sleep. like a bae
should.

Enzo is just the cutest and sweetest person I have ever met. I consider myself lucky
to have him as a friend. This is not gonna turn into another Atha situation. Anyway, I
was busy smiling to myself after reading his text. Even my brother noticed my smile.

Nami: is that your boyfriend that is busy texting you and making you smile? you
better not get drool all over my car

Me: dad's car you mean. It’s not my boyfriend. I don't have one of those. It’s a friend
of mine. I met him a few weeks back.

Onami didn't buy that whole "he is my friend" story. He always says I'm too beautiful
to be single
Insert 29

That is one thing I like about my older brother. We may be 5 years apart but he is not
too strict on me. Especially when it comes to dating. The only rule he has is that I
should never date his friends. He says its disrespectful. After driving for 2 hrs, we
finally arrived home. I was greeted first by my little brother. His name is
Kwandokuhle but everyone calls him KK.

KK: I think I might have missed you a little

Me: I know I didn't miss you at all. I even forgot I had brothers

He gave me that "yeah right" look and took my bags into the house. My parents were
still at work.

My dad is an electrical engineer at Transnet and mom is a social worker.

Me: little one where are the parents?

Him: dad is working the 2PM until 10PM shift which means he will only be back
around 11PM and mom will be back soon.

It feels good to be home with my brothers. They keep me level headed and I must
admit, I've missed them

Nami: guys let's get popcorn and watch a movie until mom gets home

Me: cool with me

KK: as long as you are buying the popcorn bhuti

Nami: ok let's go ke ntwana

They left and I called my mom to tell her I'm home and to find out what I should cook

Me: hey mommy. I'm home

Mom: really? what a shame. now all the groceries are gonna finish

Me: oh, wow mom

Her: I'm kidding sweetie. I'm happy you are home. I've missed you so much

Me: I've misses you too mommy. I want to know what I should cook
Her: don't cook anything. I will come home with pizza

Me: ok mommy. bye

My mom is the best. She is just the angel that dawns on our family. She is the one
that calms the craziness that comes with raising boys and a teenage girl. After our
call I sent Atha a text:

To: My Guy

hey future bae. just wanted to let you know that I had a safe trip and I'm home
now.

Atha didn't respond so I just assumed that he is either busy or at the gym. I chose a
movie for me and the boys to watch. I chose step-up because its our favorite movie
of all time. The boys cane back with 3 packets of jumping jack popcorn. While KK
was pouring the popcorn into the bowl, I went upstairs to charge my phone in my
room. I went back downstairs and sat between my brothers and we watched our
movie. Halfway throughout the movie, mommy walked in with the pizza.

Mom: hey babies

Us: hey mommy

Mommy knows that we take our movie time very seriously so she didn't disturb us.
She just placed the two boxes of Roman's Pizza on the kitchen counter and went
upstairs. A few minutes later I heard mom screaming my name

Mom: Lwandile! Your phone is ringing

Me: guys please pause the movie while I go get my phone

KK: nah bruh. if you leave, you miss out

Typical guys. I rushed upstairs to answer my phone but it stopped ringing as I

walked into the room. I had 5 missed calls from Atha, 2 messages from him as well
and 2 missed calls from Enzo and a message from him. I checked Atha's message
first of course. Phela that's my future bae

From: my Guy
my future bae, sorry for the late reply. I was driving. I'm glad you got home
safely. I miss you already

Ahh man Atha knows how to make me smile. That whole text nje made my body
tingle. I read the second text as well

From: My Guy

I think I'm going to demote you as my future bae and take you back to the
friendzone because you don't want to answer your phone. text me back as
soon as you get a chance
Insert 30

I wanted to call him back but I didn't have any airtime on my phone. the only option I
have is to text him via BBM since I have data

To: My Guy

that's what you get for not responding in time to my texts. I make you suffer
for a while

Things between Atha and I are so relaxed right now and we have carefree and fun
conversations. He responded to my text

From: My Guy

oh, so its like that now? lol you know I would drive all the way there just to
drag you back to the friendzone. I don't play.

I couldn't contain my laughter. I just burst out laughing

To: My Guy

lol aren't you just a little dramatic. please call me because I don't have airtime
to call you.

He called immediately

Me: hey future bae. I miss you hey

I was smiling from ear to ear

Atha: I miss you too my future. I have your number saved as 'my future' now. what
have you been up to since you got home?

That made me think about changing the name his number is saved as on my phone
as well. Maybe I should go with something like 'my future bae or future bae wami'

Me: I have been watching movies with my brothers. I really missed them.

Him: that's good. Well let me not keep you from your movie. I will call you later. I love
you Lwa

Me: I know
We hung up and I went back downstairs. Talking to Atha made me the happiest I've
been in a long time. On my way downstairs, I checked Enzo's text

From: Enzo

hey buddy. wanted to tell you that we arrived safely and Mahle says I must say
hi

I responded

To: Enzo

I'm glad you got home safely buddy. I might just be missing you a little bit but
I'm not really sure. tell my baby girl Asemahle that I said hey sweetheart. say it
like that. don't say your own things.

I knew Enzo wasn't going to say it the way I told him to because that's just how he is.

Nami: I was about to send up a search party for you

I just laughed and got back to my seat. KK saw my phone in my hand

KK: No phones allowed during movie time. You know the rules Lwa

I placed my phone on the table and carried on watching the movie. When our movie
ended, mom came down to join us. Wy mom isn't the talkative type and she isn't that
strict. The strict person is my dad but because I'm his only daughter, I get away with
almost anything.

Mom: how's school?

Me: school is good. I'm passing my tests well

Mom: and how are your friends? Enhle and Atha

This was an awkward conversation because I don't know how Enhle is and Atha is
more than just a friend now

Me: uhm they are good

At 8PM we watched Generations while having our pizza. I hadn't watched
Generations in ages so I kept asking KK what's happening. After Generations ended
we watched Isibaya like a typical Zulu family. I'm not a fan of it so I was busy on my
phone. I went on Instagram and I saw a picture of Atha and that girlfriend of his that
Enhle had hooked him up with a few months back. My mood immediately changed. I
was hurt and my heart broke. How could Atha do this to me. I know we are not
together but it still hurts because of the feelings I have for him. I just wanted to be
alone now.

Me: goodnight guys

Mom: you are going to bed before your dad comes home?

As much as I want to see dad, I'm no longer in the mood to be around people

Me: I will see him tomorrow morning mom. goodnight guys. I love you
Insert 31

Atha's POV

The day Asa walked in on Lwa and I, a part of me was happy. You can't blame me.
I've been in love with Lwa since grade 7 but I've never had the courage and 5 years
later I saw a glimpse of hope for us but that slowly faded away when she ran after
him. I wanted to tell her that its not worth it but I also wanted that to be her choice.
When she came back she was devastated. Its not easy to see the woman you love
cry. That's one thing I would never put her through. I wanted to hold her and never
let her go. I wanted to tell her that life gets better and that I want to love her more
than life itself. She needed space and as much as I didn't want to leave her, I did. I
got home and my brother was there. My brother's name is Lulonke. Lu for short.

Lu: ntwana wassup?

Me: I fucked up bro.

Him: wenzeni (what did you do)?

I told him the story of how we got busted and how I feel about Lwa

Me: I love her so much it drives me crazy. I'd do anything for that girl

Him: I've never heard you speak about a girl. She must be one of a kind

Me: she is but I don't stand a chance with her

We went to the game room and played FIFA. My phone rang and when I checked
the caller ID it was Phila.

Me: sho boy

Phila: please tell me its not true

Me: ini boy (what)?

Enhle: how could you lead Lwa astray like that? You are such a fuck boy yaz wena.
Uyadika kalok (you are annoying)

Me: what are you guys on about?

Phila: Asa told us what happened. I know Lwa is loose and easy but I thought you
were better than this

Me: firstly, never talk about Lwa like that. You don't know her like I do and just
because you couldn't handle her does make her loose and easy. Secondly this has
nothing to do with you guys so stay out of it.

Enhle: ai mahn vele she is easy. You guys have slept together a thousand times
while she is still dating Asa

I couldn't take hearing anymore of this and I hung up. My brother could tell that my
mood had changed but he knew better than to ask me what's wrong. I left and went
to the gym. The gym is always a good way for me to calm my nerves. It hurts to hear
people say horrible things about Lwa. I blame myself for the way our friends see her
now. I'm not going to tell her how they spoke of her. It would break her.

I worked out for an hour and I tried calling Asa but he didn't pick up. I really owed him
an apology but since when does one have to apologize for being in love? I tried him
again and he answered

Asa: what do you want?

Me: please hear me out

Him: I'm not interested in anything you have to say.

Me: please bruh. Can we just talk for a second?

Him: I will come over tomorrow. We will talk in person

Me: thanks, bruh. I really-

He hung up before I could finish my sentence

Insert 32

Atha's POV

I woke up early the following day since we were going to church. I took a shower and
dressed in navy blue chinos, a white shirt and I wore lacoste black shoes with a
white sole. Lu isn't going to church because he was drunk last night. I walked
downstairs and found my parents having breakfast

Me: morning

Them: morning boy

I sat down and ate my cereal and soon we left. We drove in different cars because
my parents are having lunch with friends after church. At church the pastor preached
a lot about love and forgiveness. It made me think about my life and the situation I'm
in. It was a good service and after church I drove home. On my way home, I drove
past KFC and bought a zinger boxmaster, dunked wings and virgin mojito. When I
got home, Lu was up.

Lu: and then I wake up to an empty house. Where did you guys go?

Me: its Sunday bro. We were at church

Him: and where are the parents now?

Me: having lunch with friends

Him: speaking of lunch, I'm hungry. Can I borrow your car?

My family is quite wealthy. My dad owns 3 malls around our town and he owns a
petrol garage. My mom is CEO to an accounting firm and she owns 2 beauty spas.
My brother is sort of the black sheep of the family. He doesn't like studying, he
crashed his car early last year and my parents told him to find a job and fix it himself.
I wasn't sure about borrowing him my car

Me: I'll drive you to where you want to go.

Him: ok I want to go to the car wash. I want the ribs, wings and chips combo

Me: sho bro. Let's go

I changed into beige chino shirts, sky blue v-neck t-shirt and Nike flip flops. I drove
Lu to the car wash and he bumped into his friends so I left him. Asa is coming over
at 2 and it's 1:30PM now. I drove home and ate my food. Asa knocked and I let him
in.

Me: thank you for coming

Asa: sho

Me: I'm sorry for what happened yesterday. I didn't mean to betray you like that but
bruh I love Lwa. I've always loved her and I know this isn't the way to do things which
is why I'm apologizing.

He kept quiet. Next thing out of nowhere he punched me in the eye and left. As
much as I was shocked, I should have expected it. I placed an icepack on my eye
and went to lay down. I later woke up and my parents were back. I walked
downstairs and found mom cooking

Me: mama

She responded without turning around.

Mom: ya boy

Me: are we going on holiday these easter holidays? I need a break from this place

She turned around and got the shock of her life when she saw my eye

Her: and then what happened to you? You were fine after church

Me: I had a bit of a disagreement with a friend. I'll be fine

Her: you can't go to school looking like this.

Me: its fine. Its the last week anyway

Her: where do you want to go for the holidays?

Me: I don't know. Can't we go to grandma's house? I miss her

Her: you want to go to the rurals? Wena?

Me: mom its the township. Not the rurals. Don't be like that now.

Mom: feel free to go there my boy but I have to work so I can't join you.
Me: ok fine. I'm going to the gym so I'll see you later

Mom: you are going out in public looking like that?

Me: I'm going upstairs mom. Relax. The gym in this house works just fine.

I kissed her cheek and went to change.

Our house is a 3-storey house. The top floor has the gym and indoor court. We play
basketball and tennis on the court. The middle floor has the bedrooms, movie room
and game room. There are 5 bedrooms on that floor and then downstairs there is the
lounge, TV room, dinning room, kitchen, my parents’ studies and our study
room/mini library. Outside we have the pool and braai area. It really is a big house
and it gets lonely sometimes. Especially when my parents and my brother are out of
town.
Insert 33

Atha's POV

My alarm went off at 6AM on Monday morning as usual. I got up to take a shower
and then I saw my face in the mirror and remembered that I'm not going to school
because of the blue eye. I washed my face, brushed my teeth and went downstairs.
My parents were having breakfast and lecturing my brother. Lu looked like he was
falling asleep during the so-called lecture.

Me: morning

Them: morning Atha

I grabbed an apple and a banana then headed towards the staircase

Dad: aren't you going to school

Mom: he has a blue eye so I told him not to go

Lu: haw ntwana bakubethile? (Boy they beat you up?)

Me: no one beat me up. It was a misunderstanding

Mom: so, what are you gonna do the whole day?

Me: gym, PlayStation and maybe watch movies. I will see

Mom: ok step outside as well. Fresh air will be good for you

Me: ok ma

I walked upstairs, ate the fruits while watching TV in bed. I received a text from my
girlfriend. Her name is Snothi

From: Sno>

Babe are you coming to school? I don't see your car here

Sno is in grade 10 and she likes drawing unnecessary attention. She likes making
the whole school aware that she is dating a guy that has a car and stuff. She gets
too much sometimes. She is hot though. Has the body to die for as well. I'm not with
her because I love her because we all know I love Lwa but I'm just with her because
she is hot. I texted her back
To: Sno>

Nah I'm not coming. I'm not feeling well.

She texted back saying she is gonna take a taxi and come see me. She is gonna
bunk school.

I took a shower and just dressed in sweatpants and no T-shirt. I thought about
making breakfast but I figured I'll ask Sno to do it. A few minutes later I heard a buzz
at the gate. I check the camera screen and then buzzed her in.

Sno: hey baby

We hugged and she kissed me

Me: hey babe

Her: so, how are you? What happened to your eye?

Me: its a long story babe. But I'll be fine.

Sno and I have been together for almost 2 months and this is the first time we've
been alone together. The night of my party was the first time she came to our house.
We walked upstairs to my room and chilled in bed.

Her: babe I'm hungry

Me: me too. Please make me breakfast. I'm sick remember

Her: I'm a guest nje Atha. You should make me food

Me: but baby I'm sick. Please

She agreed and we walked downstairs to the kitchen. I took out russians, bacon,
chips and eggs. I'm a guy so I eat a lot.

Her: so much food babe. You are going to explode yaz

Me: ai fondin ndiyindoda kalok mna. Andikoyik ukutjya (ai dude I'm a man. I don't
fear food)

I made toast while she made the rest of the food. She finished and we ate then went
back upstairs. We got in bed and cuddled. We stayed in our cuddling position until
she broke the silence
Her: let's watch a movie

Me: ok babe. Take off your uniform ke so that it doesn't get wrinkled

Her: haa baby and then what will I wear?

Me: I will give you a T-shirt nje baby.

I got up and took out my black Quicksilver T-shirt and gave it to her. She took off her
her uniform and I immediately got a boner. This girl has a body for days. I walked
towards her and held her from behind then started kissing her neck

Her: hayi mahn baby, let me get dressed please.

I didn't get my hands off her. She is just in her bra and panties. Those lacy almost
see through panties.

I turned her around and she faced me. I smashed my lips into hers and she
responded to the kiss. I moved my hand to her boob and started rubbing and
squeezing it. She let out soft moans. Now I was rock hard. I moved my hand towards
her panties as I was about to slide my hand in, she grabbed my hand and broke the
kiss.

Her: baby I can't

That's one thing no guy with a boner wants to hear.

Me: come on babe. Look at what you did to me *pointing at my boner*

Her: I'm sorry but I can't

Me: ok but why not?

She took my T-shirt and put it on. I wanted her so badly and my boner didn't look like
it was going to go down.

Her: I'm a virgin Atha

That's took me by surprise. I really wasn't expecting that. As much as I was horny, I
didn't want to convince this girl to lose her virginity to me when I didn't love her. Yes,
I liked her and I found her attractive but that's it.
Me: ok its fine. We don't have to do it. Pick a movie and we will cuddle. She channel
hopped and my phone rang. I checked the caller ID and it was Lwa

Me: hello

Lwa: hey Atha, how are you? Why aren't you at school?

Me: I'm great

We carried on talking and I told her that her friends lectured me and her boyfriend
punched me. She was not pleased but she had to go. I think break was over. I hung
up and focused my attention to Sno

Sno: mnet is playing 50 shades of grey. Let's watch it

I gave her my "are you serious" look

Her: yini baby? (What baby)

Me: that movie is gonna get me horny. Let's watch cartoons rather

Her: ai no baby. Ok let's watch the vow ke

Me: fine by me.

We watched it and its actually a cute movie. We remained in our cuddling position
and my boner wasn't going down. I think she felt it

Her: baby

Me: yes baby

Her: I know this is hard for you

Me: its ok babe. I really understand

Her: can I give you a blowjob ke?

Insert 34

Atha's POV

This caught me by surprise

Me: you know how to do that?

She gave me an unimpressed look

Sno: ai ke never mind then

Me: askies mahn baby. I'm just caught by surprise here

She turned her back on me and faced the other way

Me: baby

Her: hmmm

Me: please face me

Her: angifuni (I don't want to)

I held her and pulled her towards me and kissed her neck. She ignored me. I lifted
up the T-shirt she was wearing and unclipped her bra. She immediately turned
around

Me: baby wam I'm sorry. I didn't mean to offend you.

Her: its fine. Never mind the blowjob ke because awuyifuni (you don't want it)

Me: ai baby udlala kakubi ke ngok (don't play like that)

Her: angidlali. Uyinqabile nje (I’m not playing. You turned it down)

I got on top of her and looked her straight in the eyes. She shyly turned away.

Me: please look at me Sno

She turned and looked at me. She smiled. I smiled back at her

Me: why are you smiling?

Her: because I can feel your boner

I let out a chuckle.

Me: you see what you are doing to me?

She nodded then I kissed her passionately. I wanted this girl so badly and I couldn't
contain it anymore. I helped her out of the T-shirt and took of her bra. I kissed her
neck and slowly moved down to her boobs. I squeezed and sucked on her nipples
and she moaned over and over again. I sent a trail of kisses to her stomach and
when I approached her panties, she stopped me again

Her: baby... you know... I can't.

Her eyes were now half closed and she was having trouble constructing proper
sentences

Me: we won't have sex. I just want to pleasure you

I took off her panties before she responded and there she laid. Butt naked on my
bed. I stopped and looked at her. Sexiness at its best. I slowly lifted her legs and
opened them. I couldn't wait to have a taste of what stood before me. I went down on
her and licked her. She moaned even loader this time. I guess I was doing
something right. I licked and sucked her slowly and I could tell she wanted more. I
stuck my tongue in her honey pot and tongue f**ked her. Just as she was about to
orgasm, I stopped and went to cuddle her. I wanted her to want me. I wanted this to
be her idea so that if we break up, she can't say I pressured her into losing her
virginity.

Me: you have one hell of a sexy body

She kept quiet and just held my arm tightly around her

Me: baby

Her: hmmm

Me: are you ok?

Her: angazi (I don't know)

I let out a soft chuckle. My plan could just work

Me: ok ke babe, I'll stop.

She turned around and faced me with a surprised look. She was seriously horny
Her: take off your pants

I did as I was told. I was now just wearing my briefs and my dick print was very
obvious now. She got on top of me and kissed me while grinding her pussy against
my underwear. I was losing my mind. I broke the kiss

Me: come on baby, you are killing me here

She didn't answer me. She went down to my abs and started licking and twirling her
tongue along my v-lines. She pulled down my briefs and my dick sprung to action.
She licked from the base to the tip and sucked on the tip. It could easily drive you
over the edge.

She fondled with my balls and sucked me fast and then slowly. I was losing it. She
was on a mission to make me cum but I wasn't ready for that.

Me: uhm baby...come here

She brought her face to mine. She had a smile on her face. Most probably proud of
her work. I picked her up and put her in the bed and got on top of her. I kissed her
and slowly inserted my finger in her. She tensed up

Her: ouch Atha. That hurts

Me: relax kalok baby. I won't hurt you

Her: you promise?

Me: yeah, I promise

I removed my finger and went down on her again just to make her really wet. I went
back up to kiss her neck and tried inserting my finger again. This time it went in even
though she flinched a bit. I finger f**ked her slowly and she was so tight. I kissed her
and continued moving my finger and then tried inserting a second one and then she
jumped

Her: ai baby let's stop. This hurts

Me: are you sure?

I asked this while moving my finger in her and her eyes rolled back. I inserted the
second finger and just kept in her without moving it just so she can get used to it
being in there. She relaxed and I moved it around and she had her first orgasm. She
screamed my full name as she came on my finger. I waited for her to calm down
then I took my fingers out. I went to her and kissed her on her forehead.

Her: baby I want you

Me: you have me nje baby

Her: I want you to break my virginity

Me: I can't do that. I don't want you to regret this

Her: I won't regret it. I love you Athandwe and I'm ready. Please baby let's do it.

I got on top of her and positioned my dick to the entrance of her pussy. I placed my
fingers in between her fingers. She held my hand tightly. I tried entering her but she
was so tight. I looked at her and she had her eyes tightly shut.

Me: baby open your eyes

She ignored me

Me: open your eyes Sno

She slowly opened them and she looked so scared

Me: we don't have to do this. I can stop right now

Her: no. Don't stop. I want this

Me: ok ke, I'm gonna need you to relax evha. I'm not gonna hurt you but I'm gonna
need your help. Just relax

Her: ok

I slowly went in her. She started closing her eyes again

Me: look at me baby

She opened her eyes and I went all the way in her and just stayed in without moving.
A tear escaped her eye. I kissed her forehead and started moving in her and damn
she was nice and tight. I thought I was gonna cum fast but I didn't. I started picking
up the pace. She was gripping my sheets and moaning like crazy. She came and I
soon followed. I came in her... I couldn't find the strength to pull out. I was too caught
up in the sex. I slipped out of her and we cuddled in silence.

Me: babe, are you ok?

Her: yeah, I'm good. It still hurts and I need to pee.

I directed her to my bathroom and she walked there. She was walking funny. I
looked at where she was laying and there was blood on the sheets. Then it hit me
that I really broke this girl's virginity. She actually gave it up to me after almost 2
months. She walked back into the room and she saw the blood

Her: I'm sorry about your sheets

Me: its ok babe. I'm gonna run you a warm bath. Just relax.

We shared a kiss and I left to the kitchen to look for salt. I was gonna mix the bath
salts so that it eases her pain. When I walked back into my room, she had removed
the sheets

Me: you didn't have to do that

Her: yes, I did. That's blood.

We laughed and I went to run her a bath. I poured the salts and called her

Me: get in

Her: what's all those colors in the water?

Me: bath salts

Her: what for?

Me: to help you with the pain. Get in Sno

She got in and just sat there

Her: it stings Atha

Me: where?

Her: my head. Obviously down there, haw

Me: do you want me to kiss it better?

I smiled at her and she was not impressed

Me: yho ndiyadlala haw. Let me leave you. When you are ready to get out, the
towels are over there

Her: ok. Thank you.

Me: sho.

I kissed her forehead

Her: baby

Me: yah

Her: I love you Atha

Ok this is awkward. How do I respond to this? I don't love her

Insert 35

Atha's POV

I could never lie to someone about the way I feel because I never want anyone to lie
to me about their feelings. So, when Sno said she loves me, I panicked

Me: I know you love me babe. Why wouldn't you? Phela you have the hottest
boyfriend at school.

We laughed and I leaned over to kiss her.

Her: you are so crazy Atha

Me: I know. Let me go change the sheets. You will get out when you are ready to

She nodded and I walked back into my room. I changed the sheets and took the dirty
ones to the laundry room. On my way back, I bumped into Lu.

Me: haw you are still here?

Lu: I just got back. Are you alone?

Me: not exactly. My girlfriend is here

Lu: the chick you were telling me about?

Me: nah not her. Look we will talk later

Him: ok sho ntwana

When I got back in my room Sno was in the process of getting dressed. I walked
over to her and gave her a hug.

Sno: what's that for?

Me: just nje. For being you

She smiled. I looked for something to wear so I could drive her home.

Me: I'm gonna take a quick shower then we can go

Her: ok babe

I took a shower and throughout the whole time I was in there, Lwa was on my mind.
Why am I even thinking about her? I have a sexy girl in my room that claims to love
me, that's not confused about the way she feels about me. Sno is a simple situation
whereas Lwa is full of complications. I have a blue eye because of Lwandile. Maybe
its best that I forget about her and learn to love Sno. Its worth a try I guess.

I finished showering and walked back into my room with just a towel on. Sno stared
at my abs and I just laughed at her

Her: your body though

Me: what about it?

I walked over to her. She was sitting on my bed. She looked away shyly

Me: don't do that

Her: do what?

Me: don't be shy around me.

She nodded and I leaned forward for a kiss and she responded to it. She slowly
leaned back towards the bed and I got on top of her without breaking the kiss. My
hand went up her thighs and when I reached her panty I stopped and broke the kiss

Me: is it still sore?

Her: yeah, a little.

Me: ok let me get dressed so we can go.

I checked the time and it was already 1:30PM and school comes out at 2:15PM. I
dressed in black denim shorts, a white tight-fitting T-shirt and white Adidas sneakers.

Sno: are you dropping me off at school or are you gonna take me home?

Me: which is simpler for you?

Her: you taking me home. I don't want people at school to see my funny walk.

I couldn't help but laugh at that. I grabbed my shades and we walked out the house. I
was praying that we don't bump into Lu and luckily, we didn't. I drove us to spur
because I know how sex makes a person hungry. I was even hungry too.

Me: we gonna grab take always neh since time isn't on our side.

Her: ok but I'm not getting out of the car

Me: ai baby now you are being dramatic, your walk isn't that bad now.

Her: yes, it is. It feels like someone lit a fire down there. I'm not getting out Atha

Me: yho ai ok then. Let me go

I got out the car and walked into the mall. I got to spur and placed my order and
waited. As I waited I noticed these 3 girls looking at me and I just laughed to myself.
One of them walked up to me

Her: hey

Me: hi

Her: mind if I sit with you?

Me: nah I don't mind. I'm not staying though

Her: cool. I'm Thando.

This girl looked 21 or 22 and she wasn't that hot. Just light skinned. I'm sure she is in
varsity and she is out here flirting with a high school kid

Me: nice to meet you Thando. I'm Athandwe.

Her: I like your name and I like you. Here is my number, give me a call sometime
and maybe we can hangout and stuff.

She gave me a paper with her number and walked back to her friends. I'm planning
on throwing that paper away the moment I walk out of this mall. I hate forward girls.
My order was soon ready, I paid and left. When I got to the car, Sno looked a bit
upset. I placed the food in the backseat and started the car.

Sno: Athandwe who is this person that's saved as "The One" on your phone.

So, she went through my phone and now she wants to interrogate me about the stuff
that's on my phone. I saved Lwa's number as "The One " because she is the one for
me.

Me: so, you went through my phone? What for?

Her: I didn't go through your phone. You received a WhatsApp text and that's how I
saw it.
Me: that's Lwa's number so relax

Sno knows my friends but she doesn't hang out with us. She is closer to Enhle since
Enhle is the one that hooked us up. After I told her that that's Lwa's number, she
calmed down. She gave me directions to her house and I dropped her off a street
away. I gave her the food and she chilled in the car

Her: Atha I'm sorry I went through your phone. Its just that it was right there and you
don't even have a code.

Me: you have to learn to trust me if you want this to work. I left my phone because I
have nothing to hide.

She nodded then we kissed and I left. While driving back home, I was tempted to go
to Lwa's hostel but I fought that temptation off and just drove home. I parked the car
and went to eat my food by the pool area. As I sat there, different thoughts started to
cloud my mind. Why is it that we love the ones that hurt us and hurt the ones that
love us? Why can't timing be on our side and we just find the person we are meant to
be with early instead of wasting our time with other people? Why can't Lwa see that I
really do love her?

I finished eating and just sat by the pool alone. Lu joined me

Lu: haw ntwana you didn't leave me any food?

Me: you didn't say you want food and besides that, we all get an allowance and if
you choose to drink yours then its not my problem.

Him: mxim whatever. Anyway, why are you sitting here alone looking all depressed
and shit.

Me: ai its nothing bruh.

Him: so, did you smash?

Me: yeah, I did. I broke her virginity

My brother started celebrating nje out of the blue.

Him: awe ntwana yami. You are grown now.

Me: it feels like I cheated on Lwa though. I feel bad about it

Him: Atha ntwana you are my little brother and I will look out for you no matter what.
Pussy is pussy and love is love. The sooner you learn that the better. You are a guy
and the girl you smashed is your girlfriend. Nothing wrong there. Don't be too hard
on yourself. This Lwa chick will come around bruh. In the mean time, don't deprive
yourself of pussy if you want it.
Insert 36

Atha's POV

A few days past and it was now Friday. The day school closes. I woke up around 10,
took a shower and dressed in black puma shorts and a white vest. I was hungry too I
went to make food. For once i was craving muesli and milk. My dad walked in as I
was enjoying my muesli

Dad: morning boy

Me: morning dad. Aren't you working today?

Him: I am but I'm going in later. I needed to catch up on some accounts first. And
wena uyaphi?

Me: I'm gonna see some friends

Him: with that eye?

Me: ai kalok tata yiblue eye, its not a broken leg

Dad: ai ke I rest my case. Where is your brother?

Me: andaz. I just woke up a few minutes ago.

I got up and placed my bowl and glass in the dishwasher and grabbed my phone
upstairs. I texted Lwa asking to see her before she leaves. She agreed and I drove
to her hostel. We chilled in the car

Lwa: that blue eye makes you look so gangster. I might just have a crush on you

Those words awoken the love I was trying to get rid of. I knew she was joking but my
heart smiled little. We then left to McDonald's because she wanted ice-cream. Then
we went to chill at the hostel again.

Me: have you made a choice between Asa and I?

Her: yeah, I have. I'm not choosing either of you. I do have feelings for you but I'm
not ready to be with you right now
I felt like jumping and hugging her and never letting go. I know it wasn't much but it
was the glimpse of hope that I needed. She feels something for me so all I have to
do is wait. I don't care how long it takes, I'm gonna wait for her. She is worth it.

We talked some more until she had to go. I hugged her and drove off. Next stop was
to see Sno. I called her

Sno: love wam

Me: hey mabhebeza. Unjani?

Her: I'm good and you?

Me: I'm good. Where are you?

Her: I'm at the mall.

Me: ok I'm coming there. I have the pills

Her: ok. See you now

I hung up and drove to the mall. When I got there, I called her and she came out with
her friends and they all rushed to my car.

Them: hey Atha

Me: hey guys

Sno: baby this is Nosihle, Kea, Sinovuyo and Zenande. Guys this is my bae

Me: nice to meet you ladies.

Them: nice to meet you too Atha

Kea: woah chomam you didn't mention that your bae is so fine. Damn

Sno: kahle (relax) girl. He is all mine

I just laughed

Me: guys we have to get going

We said our goodbyes and got in the car. I gave Sno the pills and she started
reading the leaflet

Sno: Atha this thing says the pill must be taken within 72 hours. Its been 4 days
Me: relax mahn baby. Just take the pill and you will be fine.

Her: I better be

Me: have you eaten?

Her: no, I haven't and I can't take this pill on an empty stomach

Me: Kanti benisenza nton kula mall (what were you guys doing at the mall)?

Her: we were window shopping nje. Passing time.

Its times like this that I think Sno is just with me for my money nje. Every time I'm
with her, she wants me to be buying her stuff. She forgets that I'm a school child as
well. I drove us to McDonald's and ordered a big Mac meal

Her: add a mcflurry as well babe

Me: mcflurry isn't food. Uthe kum ulambile and I'm getting you food

She pouted and I didn't budge. I drove her home and she was silent the whole way

Me: so, you are going to sulk over ice-cream now?

She kept quiet and I left the issue. I'm not in the mood for begging someone who is
being childish. I got to the street before hers and parked at the corner

Her: bye

Me: make sure you take those pills please

Her: OK

She got out the car and I drove back home and hit the gym. I worked out for almost 2
hours then showered and checked my phone. I had a text from Lwa telling me she
arrived home safely. I called her but she didn't pick up. I called again and still nothing
so I left my phone to charge. I wish she was still around. I just want to cuddle with
her and talk the whole night. I want to take pictures of her as I watch her sleep. I
want to wake up next to her for the rest of my life. I see her in my future, raising our
kids and being an incredible wife to me. I know I'm thinking too much into what she
said but I'm a hopeful and patient guy. Love does that to a guy. Sno is hot and all
that but sex ain't better than love. Not in a million years
Insert 37

Atha's POV

As I was laying on the bed planning my imaginary future with Lwa, I received a text
from Sno

From: Sno>

I took the pill.

That text alone told me that she is still mad at me but I'm confused as to what even
pissed her off. Women never make sense. I called her

Sno: hello

Me: hey. Kunjani? (how are you)

Her: I'm fine

Me: are you still mad at me?

Her: no

Me: ai Sno come on. Why are you even mad?

Her: didn't I just say I'm not mad. Anyway, why are you calling?

Me: so, I can't call my girlfriend now? Yho

Her: Athandwe Dlamini say what you want and leave me alone.

Me: ok fine. Can I see you?

Her: what for?

Me: mxm I'm coming neh so get ready. I will be there in 10mins

I hung up. I changed into a T-shirt and grabbed my hoodie. It was 5:30PM so I knew
it would get chilly. I drove to PnP first and bought snacks, drinks and the small tub of
magnum ice-cream. On my way to pick up Sno, I called my dad.

Dad: yah boy

Me: hey tata, I need a favor

Him: how much is it going to cost me?

Me: its not going to cost you anything

Him: I'm listening

Me: I need to use the roof top at the mall tonight. Maybe around 7ish

Him: my mall?

Me: ewe tata (yes dad) your mall.

Him: ok just don't break anything up there

Me: sho taima

I hung up. I want to have a little picnic on the roof top. I wasn't sure that my dad
would agree but I'm glad he did. Now I just hope that all of this would be enough for
Sno to forgive me for something I don't even know I did. I'm going to keep Sno
around until Lwa makes up her mind and allows me to be the guy that gets to make
her happy.

I arrived at Sno's kasi and called her to come out. 10 mins later I saw her
approaching my car. She was wearing denim bum shorts, a navy crop top and white
allstars. I got a boner before she even entered my car.

Sno: yah Atha

Me: haw baby

Her: yini manje? (what’s wrong now)

Me: ok tell me what I did ke so I can apologize so we can move on

Her: you know I love mcflurry and yet you refused to get it for me. Why?

Me: ai tchin ukwatele Iice-cream namanje? (you are still mad about the ice-cream)
You can't be serious

Her: well I am serious. I wanted that Ice-cream.

Me: yho I've seen it all. Anyway, who were you with at home?

Her: my sister
Me: where are your parents?

Her: both working night shift

Me: ok that's perfect.

I drove off. She had this puzzled look on her face and I just smiled and ignored her.

Her: siyaphi? (Where are we going)

Me: just wait and see.

I parked outside the mall, took out the plastic with the snacks and my hoodie and
went over to open her door. She smiled and I knew I was already forgiven for the ice-
cream issue. We walked hand in hand to the elevator and arrived to the roof top. I
had asked one of the cleaning guys to lay out a blankie, a few candles and lights. It
wasn't extravagant but it looked nice.

Her: baby you did all this for me?

Me: kalok baby ubungikwatele nje (you were mad at me) so I had to do something.

Her: wow this is beautiful

She jumped to hug me and we shared a kiss. I took out the chips, chocolate,
strawberries, yoghurt, ice-cream and liquifriut. We sat down, I sat against the wall
and she sat between my legs.

Me: so, am I forgiven?

She dipped a strawberry in yogurt and fed it to me. Then she kissed me softly.

Her: yes, you are.

We continued to talk and enjoy our little date. It started getting chilly and I gave her
my hoodie

Me: should we go?

Her: yeah but let's take pictures first.

I never understood why girls want to take pictures all the time but I agreed and
posed for a few pics and we left. I made sure that all the candles are out. We walked
back to the car and I wasn't ready for her to leave yet. I still wanted to get some. My
parents are hardly home on a Friday night but I called mom to make sure

Mom: boy boy wami

Me: ai mama khawume ngalonto (mom stop that)

Mom: tchin awusiye unyana wami ngok wena? (yho are you not my son)

Me: ndinguye but andisiye uboy boy Mina. Ndiyindoda (I am but I'm not a little boy.
I'm a man)

Mom: ok ke my little man, is that better

Me: I give up on you. Are you home?

Her: no. Your father is taking me on a weekend away so we will be back Sunday
night

Me: utata neWeekend away? This change

Her: what are you trying to say about my husband Athandwe

I laughed

Me: nix mama. Enjoy your weekend away evha. I shall see you on Sunday

Her: love you boy boy

Me: love you too mama

I hung up and drove to our house

Sno: I'm not sleeping over njalo

Me: yeah, its fine.

Sno had my phone since the time we took the pictures and she was busy

Me: wenza nton kuleyoPhone? (what are you doing on that phone)

Her: I'm posting the pictures we took on Instagram

Me: my insta or yours?

Her: yours
Me: ok

It didn't hit me that Lwa would see those pictures

Insert 38

Atha's POV

We arrived at my house and Lu wasn't there so we had the house to ourselves. I led
the way to my room and threw myself on the bed. I had left the floor heater on when I
left so my room was hot

Sno: kuyashisa lana (its hot here) baby

Me: take off that hoodie then

I took of my T-shirt and remained in my shorts. She stared at my body

Me: its rude to stare

Her: what I'm staring at belongs to me so its fine.

We laughed and she sat next to me on the bed. We continued our small talk and she
eventually took off the hoodie. Then out if nowhere she asked me something I wasn't
expecting

Her: baby what if the pill doesn't work? What will happen to us? What would you like
to happen?

Me: I don't want to think about that. That pill is going to work. Wena just relax.

Her: ok ke baby

Me: now come here and give me a kiss

She got on top of me and kissed me passionately. The kiss got heated and she
started kissing my neck and biting it. I was now horny to a point of no return. As she
was leaving a trail of kisses leading to my boner, Lwa crossed my mind. Well our
conversation earlier about her having feelings for me replayed in my head and now it
really felt like I was about to cheat on her.

Me: baby khawume

Sno lifted her head and looked at me

Her: what's wrong?

Me: we don't have to have sex all the time now that you are no longer a virgin. Let's
just chill nje tonight

What is Lwa doing to me though? I'm even turning down sex because of my love for
her. Being in love is a very weird thing to experience. I can't even put in words how I
feel. If I could I'd let my heart speak for me so people can get a slight understanding
of how I feel

Sno: but baby I'm horny now after that kiss

Me: ok let's changed that.

She immediately got excited. To the extent that she took off her own clothes and
stood butt naked in front of me. I looked at her and made a silent prayer:

"Lord please give the strength to not fall into this temptation"

I stared at her and didn't move an inch

Her: are you going to stand there looking at me or are you going to take your clothes
off and bring your sexy self over here?

Me: damn you are sexy.

I walked over to her and kissed her. Then I moved my kisses to her neck and she
started moaning. I lowered her onto the bed and started fingering her. She moaned
even louder and after a few minutes she came. I took my fingers out and kissed her
then walked to the bathroom to rinse my hands. When I got back to my room I found
an even bigger temptation.

Sno: are you sure you don't want any of this?

She was laying on my bed, legs wide open and rubbing her pussy. My dick sprung to
attention

Me: I thought you were sorted now

Her: I can't be sorted until I have all of you

She walked towards me and pulled my shorts down. She tried pulling my briefs down
but I stopped her.

Me: ai Sno khawume fondin. I told you we not having sex tonight
Her: Atha Kanti yini inkinga yakho today? Yini, do I suck in bed or what?

Yho lord if only she knew what I know ngabe she isn't asking me all of this

Me: you don't suck in bed. I'm just not in the mood tonight. I just want us to spend
time together in other ways apart from sex

Her: you are not in the mood yet your dick is up like a flag pole so stop lying and tell
me what your problem is.

Me: yho ai if you don't want to believe me then that's your own problem

Her: mcim just take me home. I don't have time for all this

She was pissed now

Me: you are now pissed over me refusing with my dick? Yho ai today you are full of
surprises nyan

She didn't respond. She grabbed her clothes and got dressed.

Her: actually, you know what, don't drive me home. I'll call a cab

Me: so unayo imali yecab but awunayo uyokuthenga iIce-cream

Her: uzonginika nje wena imali (you will give me money)

Me: uphambene (you are crazy). Tchin I'm not a bank mna Snothile. Its either I drive
you home or you pay for the cab yourself

Her: fine ke. Asambe (let’s go).

We left and I drove her home. She was quiet the whole way and she didn't even say
goodbye when she walked out the car. In my mind I was done with her. She is too
dramatic for my liking. I got home and ordered pizza. As I waited for my pizza my
cousin called. Her name is Lihle. She is 3 years younger than me and in grade 9

Me: love love

Lihle: oho awsandifun wena (you don’t want me anymore)

Me: haw kanjani nje (how so) love love wam. You know I love you from here to the
moon and back and to the sun and back

She laughed
Her: uza nini Kanti (when are you coming)?

Me: ndizoza ngomso. Uyakhumbuleka kalok (I’ll come tomorrow. I miss you)

Her: nami ndikukhumbule (I miss you too)

We chatted some more and she hung up. My pizza arrived and I ate and slept. I
woke up the next day and tried calling Lwa but she didn't answer. I texted her on
WhatsApp and she read my message and didn't respond. This is just great. Another
woman that's mad at me for something I don't even know I did. I packed and as I
was about to leave I called my dad

Dad: yah boy

Me: ewe kunjani tata (how are you dad)?

Him: ndiphilile nyana wena kunjani (I’m fine, how are you)?

Me: ndiright akukhonto tata (I’m fine, can’t complain, dad)

Him: I got a call from your grandma asking ukba uzombona nini (when you will see
her)

Me: kalok that's why I called. I'm about to leave and go there now.

Him: ok have fun ke and ubuye Friday (come back on Friday)

Me: ok tata

I hung up and drove to my grandma's house.

Insert 39

Today is Monday and I've been ignoring Atha's calls since Friday when I saw that
picture. Him and that girlfriend of his can have each other. I was woken up by my
little brother

KK: wake up sis

Me: hmmmm

Him: ai mahn Lwandile vuka (wake up Lwandile)

Me: yho relax. No need to shout, I'm up.

I got up to wash my face and brush my teeth. When I got back to the room he was
gone. I walked downstairs and found my dad watching the news and KK busy on his
phone

Me: morning daddy

Dad: morning baby

Me: where's Nami?

Dad: you know your brother doesn't wake up before 12.

At least he gets to sleep as much as he wants and doesn't get woken up for no
reason. I made my way to the kitchen and made breakfast. I made cinnamon French
toast, scrambled eggs and bacon. I put everyone's food on the table and left Nami's
plate in the oven.

Dad: do you guys have any plans today?

Me: I might go to the mall with Noma and Lolo

Noma and Lolo are my childhood friends. We go to different schools but we always
spend our holidays together.

KK: I will be doing whatever bhuti is doing

Dad: ok don't come home late. Don't worry about cooking, I will cook today

Us: ok dad
We ate and KK washed the dishes when we were done. I went to take a shower.
Atha was still on my mind and I was still angry at him. I'm not going to take his calls
until school opens. After showering I got dressed in black leggings, an oversized
grey vest and grey vans. I put on eyeliner and my labello. I combed my hair and let it
hang and then wore a black baseball cap. I need to do my hair; this combing thing
isn't working out. I called Lolo to find out what time we are meeting up

Lolo: chom yami

Me: chomi nama friends

Her: unjani chomi

Me: I'm good and you?

Her: I'm good too. What time are we meeting up?

Me: lol that's why I called. Let's make it 11. Call Noma and tell her

Her: alright chomza. See you in a bit.

I hung up and went to Nami's room and knocked until my knuckles were sore. My
brother dies when he sleeps. I need him to take me to the mall and give me money
for my hair. I checked the time and it was still early so I went downstairs to watch TV.
I watched a movie but it was almost finished. When it ended Nami came downstairs

Me: finally, you are up

Nami: morning to you too Lwandile

Me: I was knocking on your door earlier and I thought you had died in there.

Him: I know and I ignored you.

I shot him a look and he just went to the kitchen and took an apple and came to sit
next to me.

Me: bro I need a favor

Him: where do you want to go? I know your favors involve me being your chauffeur
and paying for something.

Me: I'm meeting up with Nomz and Lolz at the mall and I need to do my hair
Him: yho sis wami ngibroke Mina (I’m broke). Try asking your father

Dad: try asking your father for what?

Dad walked in and sat with us

Me: I need to do my hair dad, ngicela imali (may I please have money)

Him: how much do you need?

Me: R500 max.

Him: ok I will transfer it. Nami will give you money to spend at the mall

Nami: haw baba I'm broke Mina

Dad: you are not broke. I saw your bank statement now in your room when I was
looking for a pen. Spoil your sister for once

Nami gave both dad and I a look and I just laughed. He went to shower and came
back dressed in black chino shorts and a white T-shirt with black polka dots. He also
wore white all stars. We left but he didn't drive towards the mall

Me: where are we going?

Him: I have to pick up Syanda, Andile and Landile.

Syanda, Andile and Landile are his friends. Those guys are hot. Syanda is short,
light skinned, pink lips and black eyes. Andile is tallish, caramel skinned, big brown
eyes and brackets. Landile is tall, black eyes, pink lips and a cute sexy smile. I used
to have a crush on Landile but he moved to Durban when he started high school so
the crush faded.

Me: so, we are going to 3 different houses before we go to the mall? Why can't you
pick them up after you drop me off

Him: 3 houses, one street. Relax.

We picked them up and they looked hot.

Them: hey guys

Us: hey

Laa: haven't seen you in ages Lwa.

Me: angithi you left us wena. First it was Durban then it was Jo'burg

Him: life happened but I'm going to be coming back this side quite often

Me: that's good

We kept a light conversation until we got to the mall. My friends were already waiting
for me at the entrance. I got out the car and Landile did the same. He was going to
take the front seat.

Laa: can I walk you to the entrance?

Me: sure

Laa: ngiyabuya majita (I’ll be back guys)

Them: sho

Laa: so, can I get your number? Just so we can catch up of course

Me: yeah.

I gave him my number, we hugged then he went back to his friends

Insert 40

Lolz: yho chomi you just walked out of a spaceship of hotties

Noma and I laughed

Me: a spaceship chomi

Her: yeah. Phela the guys in that car are all hot

Me: you are crazy wena. The guy driving is Nami, the guy that walked me is Landile
and the guys in the car are Syanda and Andile

Her: I need to get one of them.

We just laughed and walked into the mall. We started at the salon and I did a straight
back, Nomz just relaxed her hair and Lolz hair was already done. My friends and I
looked hot shame. We went to have lunch at spur and caught up

Nomz: so, friend how are things with Asande? Are you still pushing the whole power
couple thing at your school?

Me: ai girl we are on the verge of a break up. A lot of shit went down this term.

As I was about to tell her, my phone rang and it was Atha and I rejected the call

Nomz: and that?

Me: part of the shit that went down

Her: ai I need to hear about this shit

Me: you will. Later tho.

Lolz: guys I have an idea

Nomz: I doubt its a good one but ok ke let's hear it.

Lolz: let's get drinks and snacks then go chill at Lwa's house. I wanna swim

Nomz: no, you want to get a closer look at the hotties. I wanted to watch a movie
though

Me: ai chomi sitting in the dark on such a beautiful day would be a crime nje.
We walked to PnP and bought 2l of sprite, 3 packet of chips and a packet of
marshmallows. Then we went to Romans pizza and bought 2 large pizzas

Me: should I call Nami or will we take a cab?

Lolz: call Nami obviously

Me: you know he has a girlfriend, right? A serious girlfriend

Lolz: they are not married so nje she can chill.

I called my brother and he took forever to answer

Nami: baby sis

Me: big bro

Him: wassup?

Me: are you busy?

Him: nah, I'm just chilling with the guys playing FIFA

Me: ok please fetch me

Him: I will ask Landile to fetch you. I'm still playing

Me: ok tell him to come now

Him: sho

To pass time we went to Mr Price so Lolz and Nomz can buy their bikinis. Lolz is
short, dark beauty with a curvy body and a fat ass. Nomz is also short, caramel
skinned with an hour glass figure and thigh gap. My friends are hot. Lolz bought a
leopard print one piece that revealed her back and her sides. Nomz bought a blue
and silver two piece. My phone rang and it was Landile

Me: hello

Him: hey beautiful

I smiled and my friends gave me weird looks

Him: I'm at the entrance where we dropped you off at.

Me: ok we are coming.

We walked to the car. I sat at the back with Lolz and Nomz took the front seat. We
got home and went to change. I wore my black and white two piece and a see-
through short dress. My friends went out to the pool area and I went to talk to my
brother. I walked in and all the guys just stared at me. Ohhhhk

Me: Nami my friends and I will be at the back swimming in case you need me

Him: sho.

Andile: guys let's go swim nathi. I'm over this game now

Syanda: you just want to checkout the hunnies nje wena

Andile: let me be

I left them to their convo and went to join my friends in the pool. We swam and
played in the water and after a few minutes the guys came out.

Andile: can we join you guys?

Us: yes

They took off their t-shirts and they all had 8 packs and v-lines. Nomz and Lolz were
practically drooling. I tried my best not to look but I stole glances every now and
then. We swam together and played in the water. It was fun but after an hour or so
we got hungry.

Nami: did you guys come back with food?

Me: yeah. 2 large pizzas

Him: I'm gonna go and buy 2 more pizzas. Sibaningi for just 2 pizzas.

He got out the pool and grabbed a towel

Nomz: can I come with you?

Him: yeah asambe (let’s go)

Syanda: nami ngiyahamba (I’m also coming with)

I think Syanda has his eye on Nomz but my friend wants my brother. On the other
side of the pool Lolz was talking to Andile. I got out and grabbed a towel and laid on
the chairs. Landile got in the house and came back with 2 glasses of Sprite. He gave
one to me and sat next to me

Me: thanks

Laa: pleasure. So, how's school?

Me: its ok. I can't complain hey. Wena? How's degree number 2?

Him: a lot easier than degree number 1

Me: that's good. You must work now

He laughed and we carried on talking. We took pics together and with Lolz and
Andile.
Insert 41

My brother, Nomz and Syanda came back with more pizza and we all ate by the
pool. The conversation was crazy and laid back. My phone rang from the chair and I
went to check it. It was Atha again. This guy doesn't give up. I decided to answer

Me: hello

Atha: finally. Why are you avoiding me?

Me: I'm good and how are you Athandwe?

Him: that doesn't really matter right now. Why are you avoiding me?

I walked into the house and went to my room

Me: I saw the pictures. I have nothing to say to you

Him: what pictures are you talking about?

Me: the pictures of you and that girlfriend of yours.

Him: so, you are mad over that? You ignore me for days because of those pictures?

Me: you said you want me. You said you love me. You said you are going to wait for
me. So, did you expect me to rejoice over those pictures? Ngicela ungihloniphe
(please respect me) Athandwe neh

Him: let me ask you this...did I say she is out of the picture? I didn't hide her from
you. You know about her so I really don't understand why you are mad at me. I really
don't

Me: and clearly you never will

Him: then make me understand fondin.

Me: it's not worth it. You are a fuck boy that just wants to have his cake and eat it.
I'm not playing that game with you.

I hung up and took a shower. I dressed in denim bum shorts and a blue vest and flip
flops. I walked downstairs and found everyone still chilling and having a crazy convo.

Nomz: haw chomza you showered and didn't tell us

Me: you guys can still shower nje.

Everyone got up and walked in the house to shower but Nami stayed behind

Nami: are you good? You look a bit distracted

Me: I'm good bro

Him: ok let me go shower ke

He kissed my forehead and walked in the house

I was hurt and angry. Atha doesn't understand how it feels to have feelings for
someone and watch that person be happy with someone else. This isn't easy for me
as well and he acts like he did nothing wrong. If he loves me the way he claims he
does then he should be waiting for me not still with that girl. I needed a distraction so
I called Enzo

Enzo: hey buddy bae

Me: hey buddy unjani?

Him: I'm good and you?

Me: I've been better

Him: what's wrong?

I told him about the picture on Instagram, me ignoring his calls and the phone call we
just had

Him: listen neh buddy I think you should leave this guy. Clearly, he is just messing
around with your heart and your mind.

Me: but buddy I love him.

Him: Lwa sometimes you have to forget how you feel and remember what you
deserve

Me: he is the one buddy. I can feel it

Him: then he must get his act together before I beat him up. Phela no one messes
with my buddy bae and lives to tell the story

We laughed and then hung up. I put up a pic of Enzo as my WhatsApp profile pic
and my status read: "what would I do without my buddy bae though"
These people are taking forever with the showering and I was getting bored. I played
candy crush to pass time and eventually they came out.

Nomz: chom kumele sihambe thina manje (we have to get going now) before it gets
late

Me: already?

I got up and hugged my friends and Nami drove them home. His friends stayed with
me.

Syanda: Lwa what's the deal with your friend Noma? Is she single?

Me: yeah, she is single. Uyamfuna yini (you want her)?

Him: her ass makes it hard not to want her

Landile, Andile and I laughed. Syanda loves girls but he is a hit and run kind of guy.
He doesn't date.

Me: did you get her numbers?

Him: of course, I did. I'm gonna make my move soon.

Landile: Lwa who is the guy on your WhatsApp pro pic?

Andile: yini bruh are you jealous ngok?

Me: he is my friend

Landile: you are friends with my little brother? Its a small world

Me: that's your little brother? really? It really is a small world. I met him a few weeks
ago. He is a nice guy and his crazy.

Wow who would have thought that the Landile Asemahle told me about is the same
Landile I've known almost all my life.

My brother (23) studies actuarial science at Rhodes. Syanda (23) studies medicine
at Wits. Andile (22) studies BCom accounting honors with Nami at Rhodes and
Landile (23) studies BCom Law at Wits. He already has his LLB.
Insert 42

Days passed, holidays were over and I was back at school. It was the Sunday before
school opens and I was busy unpacking when Enhle walked in. I hadn't spoken to
her during the holidays because of the whole Atha thing and what she and Phila did
to him

Enhle: hey

Me: hi

She walked over to her side and started unpacking as well. Things between us were
awkward and I'm not gonna change that until I get an apology. A few minutes later
she came to my side and sat on my bed.

Her: clearly you are mad at me and I want to clear the air

Me: ok

Her: I know you know about what we said to Atha and I'm sorry but we were just
looking out for you.

Me: looking out for me? You told me you were not picking sides but your actions
proved that you picked Asa's side and worse part is that you don't even tell me about
it. You just pretend like you did nothing

Her: I'm sorry Lwa. I really am

Me: ok

There was silence until she went back to her side. I hate hypocrites. Just be straight
forward as a person and take it from there. My phone rang as I was finishing my
unpacking. I checked the caller ID and it was Atha. Things between us were still
shaky but I wasn't ignoring him anymore

Me: hello

Atha: are you back?

Me: yes

Atha: can I see you?

Me: yes

Him: ok I'm coming

He hung up. Enhle came back to my side with a slab of chocolate as a peace
offering. I accepted it and we made up

Enhle: uyamazi uLuyanda (do you know Luyanda)? She is in grade 10

Me: I don't know grade 10 kids, friend. Yin ndaba (whats up)?

Her: well during the holidays Phila was tagged in a lot of pictures by this Luyanda
girl. When I asked him about it, he said its his cousin.

Me: cousin? You must look into that story friend. These days cousin is just
codename for side chick

We carried on with our convo until Atha called to tell me he is outside. I went out to
him and we shared a hug and got in the car

Atha: unjani?

Me: I'm good and you

Him: I'm ok

He leaned in for a kiss and I backed away

Him: and now?

Me: I don't kiss people's boyfriends

Him: seriously? You are still on about that? Ok I will break up with her

Me: don't do it if you don't want to. Don't act like you are doing me a favor. Do what
you want

Him: ok let me make a call

He took out his phone and called someone. They spoke about something that didn't
come and then Atha asked to see the person and said he will be there in 30mins and
hung up.

Him: Lwa look, I love you with all my heart. You are smart, beautiful, sexy and funny.
You are a caring and loving woman and there is no one I'd rather be with apart from
you. I understand that you need time, I really do and I'm willing to wait for you
because you are my future.

I was speechless. I know Atha loves me but to hear him say all that, I was blown
away.

Me: I'm not trying to be difficult here. I'm just still finding my way around my feelings
for you

Him: ok but when do you think you will be ready to be with me?

Me: maybe next year

I gave the answer without having to think about it. Maybe next year is far but our
relationship would cause a lot of drama at school right now.

Him: ok future bae...I will see you tomorrow at school

I opened the door and he also got out the car. We hugged and he kissed my
forehead. Then he left. When I got to the room I found Enhle crying

Me: haaibo girl what's wrong?

Enhle: Phila is cheating on me with this Luyanda girl. She just sent me a pic of them
kissing.

She showed me the picture. I got mad at Phila for hurting my friend. I hugged her
and comforted her until she fell asleep then I went over to my side to take a nap
Insert 43

*2 months later*

June exams are approaching so all my energy is focused on my studying. We have a

study group that studies after school until 6. Enhle and I were practicing maths in
class while waiting for the others to arrive. She broke up with Phila and I must say
she handled the break up better than I had expected. Then Phila has the audacity to
ask me to help him get Enhle back. Imagine nje the disrespect.

While we were studying, 3 grade 10 girls walked in. This 3 included Atha's girlfriend,
Luyanda and some girl I don't know. They walk in and stood in front of us and just
stared at us

Me: can we help you guys?

Lu: sifuna ukukhuluma noEnhle (we want to talk to Enhle)

Now my friend isn't the ghetto type. She will let you make a fool of yourself then keep
quiet. She doesn't entertain nonsense

Enhle: khuluma sisi (talk girl)

Lu: are you dating Phila?

Enhle: that's none of your business

Lu: it is because that's my man

Enhle: manje (so now) if its your man then ngingenaphi Mina (where do I fit in that)?

Sno: awume mahn Lu, asizelanga leyonto lana (hold on Lu, we didn’t come here for
that)

There was something different about Atha's girlfriend. She looked chubbier than the
last time I saw her

Sno: Enhle can I please talk to you in private?

Enhle: khuluma sisi (talk girl) I have studying to get back to

Sno: please talk to Atha for me. He broke up with me 2 months ago and I found out
I'm pregnant last month and now he wants nothing to do with me. I lost my virginity to
him and he dumps me for some girl. He didn't even want to tell me who she is. I'm
begging you Enhle please talk to him

Hold up. Did she say pregnant? Losing her virginity? Yho

Me: when did you guys sleep together?

Sno: the Monday when he didn't come to school because of the blue eye.

Damn you Athandwe. So, I was worried about him getting a beating and yena he
goes and has happy times making people pregnant

Enhle: yho that's a lot to take in. I will try and talk to him. Hopefully I will get through
to him

Our other study buddies came in and Sno and her friends left. I was left in a state of
shock. How could Atha be so stupid and irresponsible though?

Enhle: Lwa

Me: hmmmm

Her: I know Atha dumped that girl for you

Me: aibo I'm not dating Athandwe

Her: but we both know he did it for you. Please talk to him. Convince him to take her
back and take responsibility for his baby

Me: Enhle this has nothing to do with me. I'm not going to involve myself

Her: but you know he will listen to you

Me: fine. I will try.

I got up to make a call outside. I called 5 times and Atha didn't pick up so I walked
back in

Enhle: and?

Me: he didn't answer

We continued with our studying and an hour later Atha walked in with other guys
from soccer practice. He came to greet us and I asked to talk to him outside. He
reached for a hug and I backed away
Him: and now? Is it because I'm from practice?

Me: no, its not that

Him: then what is it? Talk to me

Me: why didn't you tell me you are having a baby?

He remained silent for a while and he faced down. He couldn't even look at me

Me: Atha

Him: I didn't know how to tell you. I just found out nami and I haven't come to terms
with it. I was going to tell you though

Me: when? When the baby is born? How am I even supposed to trust you? Actually,
this isn't about me. I want you to do me a favor

Him: I'd do anything for you Lwa. Name it and I'll do it.

Me: I want you to forget about us. I want you to take her back and I want you to man
up and take responsibility for your actions. I need you to do me that favor.
Insert 44

I wasn't sure of the decision I was making. I love Atha but I had to think of someone
else apart from myself. I can't rob a child of its father's love

Atha: I'm not taking that girl back. I want you and only you

Me: I'm not the one having your baby. She is

Him: I will deal with the issue of my baby when I'm ready but I'm not taking Sno back.
I'll be there for my child but I don't need to be with her in order to do that.

Me: as long as you promise to take care of your child

Him: I will. So, are you mad at me?

Me: I'm not mad but I'm not happy either. We were not together when the baby was
made and we not together even now so I don't have a right to be angry

Him: you have every right to be angry. I broke your trust. You don't have to act
strong around me. I want you to express every emotion without thinking twice.

I nodded and we hugged. He stole a kiss and we just laughed. We went back to our
studying.

The following week exams started and we were not allowed to leave the hostel
unless we are going to school. Being in matric is tough. We wrote maths first and the
paper wasn't bad but we can never be too sure about maths. I finished writing before
Enhle and Atha so I waited for them outside. I played with my phone and a voice
disturbed me

Asa: hey Lwa

Me: hi

Asa and I haven't spoken since the last day of term last term. The month he had
given me to decide between him and Atha was over so I'm sure he wants to talk
about that

Him: unjani

Me: I'm good and you?

Him: I'm good. I'm sure you know why I'm here

Me: to get your answer?

Him: yeah. Its been more than a month now

Me: ok here is the thing, I understand that what Atha and I did was wrong. Nothing I
say can justify that but what did hitting him change?

Him: its a guy thing. You wouldn't understand. Atha disrespected me as a man. He
disrespected our relationship.

Me: why didn't you hit me as well? He didn't do all this disrespecting alone.

Him: its guy code. You really wouldn't understand

Me: ok fine. I'm not choosing either of you. I need a break from all the drama. I need
to figure out what it is that I want and take it from there

Him: you need a break from all the drama that you caused... I understand and I
respect your decision. I want you to know something though

Me: and that is?

Him: I love you and I was a good boyfriend to you. I never would have impregnated
someone while claiming to be in love with you. That's how much I respect and value
you. I might not be as wealthy as Atha but my heart speaks volume when it comes to
you. You might not realize it now but I'm sure one day you will and for your sake I
hope it won't be too late. Yabona (you see) the way Atha treats his baby mama, who
knows, maybe that will be you next year or the year after. Just be careful because if
he can cheat with you, what would stop him from cheating on you?

I was left starstruck. I never looked at things from that perspective. Asa was a great
boyfriend but I can't be with him just because he is the safe option. That wouldn't be
fair on him and it would definitely be unfair to me

Me: thank you for the heads up. I will keep it in mind at all times.

Him: alright. I have to go

Me: bye
His words kept playing over and over in my head. Atha and Enhle came out while I
was still lost in my thoughts

Enhle: friend, are you ok?

Me: yeah, I'm ok

Atha: can I give you guys a ride?

Enhle: yes

Me: the hostel is just around the corner. I'll walk

Atha: are you sure?

Me: yeah. Bye

Atha and Enhle hugged and then he looked at me.

Him: ndicela ihug future bae

I hugged him and Enhle and I walked to our room. We had small talk but I wasn't into
it. I was even getting a headache so all I wanted to do was sleep. I took 2 headache
pills and slept. My heart was heavy and my head was spinning around in circles.
What if I'm making a mistake? What if Atha isn't the one? I woke up 3hrs later and I
was hungry. I checked the time and it was almost 5. I was craving KFC boxmaster,
dunked wings and a very berry krusher. I couldn't go buy it since we were on locked
down. I put my pride aside and called Atha

Atha: future bae

Me: hey

Atha: what's wrong?

Me: nothing's wrong

I wanted to tell him about my conversation with Asa but what if it makes him angry
and he starts thinking that I'm doubting his love for me.

Atha: Lwa talk to me. Don't push me away. Is it the baby thing?

Me: its not the baby thing. I'm fine ngempela. Please do me a favor

Him: ok I'm listening

Me: I'm hungry. Please get me dunked wings, box master and very berry krusher. I
will give you the cash when you bring it

Him: ok but don't worry about the cash.

Me: are you sure?

Him: yeah. I will call you when I'm at the gate.

Me: sho

I hung up and just chilled in bed. I was really down but I tried to put on a brave face. I
checked my Facebook and came across a pic of Nomz and Syanda all lovey dovey. I
liked the pic and carried on browsing. Could it be that Nomz tamed the Casanova
that is Syanda? Phela I know my friend is crazy so nje uzobastrong uSyanda
(Syanda shall be strong). I started thinking about how awesome my holidays were
and I hope the June holidays will be just as awesome. My brother's friends are crazy
and fun to be around. Its like having 4 older brothers instead of 1 because they are
as overprotective as Nami is. My phone rang and it was Atha telling me he is by the
gate. I wore white hoodie and grey sweatpants and went outside. He was leaning
against his car. I couldn't go out the gate and he couldn't come in because of the
security guard. He handed me the bag with my food. I thanked him and went back to
my room and started eating. Atha called while I was eating

Me: hey

Atha: I hate seeing you like this. Please just tell me what's wrong so I can fix it. I can
see you are not happy and I can't be happy knowing that you are sad

Me: I will tell you after the exams. I promise

Him: is it bad?

Me: sort of but don't stress about it

Him: ok I'll try not to. Ndiyakthanda vha (I love you)

I couldn't help but smile. When he speaks Xhosa, my heart melts every time. I've
heard other people speaking Xhosa but he has his special way nje that he speaks it

Me: I know
Him: ok ke sleep tight when you sleep. I'm gonna study for Thursday's exam.

Me: ok enjoy

We hung up and I went back to my food. I couldn't even finish the wings so I gave
them to Enhle then I started studying as well
Insert 45

Atha's POV

My grandma's house is 2.5 hours away from our house so I was going to be on the
road for a while. I hardly go there because my parents always take us out of town for
holidays and sometimes out of the country but I missed my cousins, uncles and
aunts. I have 5 cousins (3 girls and 2 boys). I tried calling Lwa again while I was on
the road and she still didn't answer. If this was just a random girl, I would have given
up ages ago but I can't give up on Lwa even if I wanted to. My heart wouldn't let me.

After 2 hours, I arrived at my grandma's house. Lihle was the first one to see the car
and she came rushing to hug me

Me: yah love love.

Lihle: finally. Unqabile tu mntase (you are scarce cuzzy)

Me: all that matters, is that I'm here. Uphi umakhulu? (Where is grandma)

Her: usendlini noMakaz Chuma noMama (she is in the house with aunt Chuma and
mom)

Me: ok asambe ndiyobulisa (let's go so I can greet)

We walked hand in hand into the house and everyone screamed. My cousins came
to hug me and then I went to hug my grandma

Granny: unqabile nyana KaLiza. Andisakwazi. Uphilile kwedin? (You are scarce
Liza's son. I haven't seen you in a long time. Are you good though?)

*Liza is my dad*

Me: ndiphilile makhulu. Bendikukhumbule kalok (I'm good grandma. I missed you)

Her: ndibulela ukufika kwakho mntanam. (I'm glad you are here my child)

I caught up with my family and they were asking a lot of questions about my parents
and why I didn't come with Lu.

My cousins are Lihle (15), her sister Sibusisiwe (4), Lubabalo (16) and his brother
Siviwe (18) and Aviwe (21). Lubabalo and Siviwe are Makaz Chuma's kids and
Aviwe is my uncle's daughter. Lihle and Sibusisiwe are Makaz' Zintle's kids
Being with family is warming and fills one’s heart with join. I tried to put Lwa at the
back of my mind and I'd succeed for an hour or 2 then try calling her again. She
ignored my calls until Monday. I called her in the afternoon and she rejected my
calls. I told myself I will try one more time then stop. I was sitting outside under the
tree when Aviwe approached me

Aviwe: so, who is she?

Me: who is who?

Her: the girl that has you so love struck

Me: lol is it that obvious?

Her: yeah it is. Kalok ndiyakwaz mntase (I know you cuzzy) and we grew up together

I told her about Lwa and I was smiling the whole time. I can't talk about her without
smiling. Its just the effect she has on me.

Her: she sounds like a great person but why would she just stop taking your calls?
Wenze nton wena? (What did you do)

Me: nothing or if I did do something, I'm not aware of it.

Her: and what's happening with the girl you have all over Facebook and Instagram?

Me: she is my girlfriend... Soon to be ex. Yho mntase ikaka yengane leya. (Cuzzy
that girl is full of crap) We are not in talking terms now because she wanted to have
sex and I turned her down.

Aviwe couldn't stop laughing. She didn't even believe I was telling the truth. Makhulu
called her in the house and I tried calling Lwa again. This time she answered

Me: finally. Why are you avoiding me?

Turns out she is mad because of the pic Sno posted on Instagram with my phone. I
was so confused. Lwa knows about Sno. Why would she be mad about something
she knows about. She is just picking a fight with me for no reason. I told her its her
that I love and I'd break up with Sno in a split second if Lwa decides to be my
girlfriend. Sno is just holding the spot for Lwa.
Aviwe asked me to drive her to the mall so I took a quick bath and wore blue jeans,
white v-neck T-shirt and blue and white Stan Smith Adidas sneakers. I grabbed my
car keys and walked to the kitchen. Aviwe came out wearing light blue skinny jeans,
black and gold heels and a white and gold long sleeve v-neck T-shirt. My cousin
looked beautiful

Me: awsemhle fondin (You look beautiful dude). Are you going on a date?

Aviwe: lol no. I'm meeting up with my friends for lunch and a movie. Nawe umuhle
mntase. Azolila amaBad bitch kulaMall (you look good too cuzzy. Bad bitches are
gonna cry when we get to the mall)

We laughed and drove to the mall

Me: she finally answered my calls

Her: and?

Me: she is mad about a pic Sno posted on Instagram using my phone

Her: Sno ilecherry yakho ephambanayo? (Sno is that crazy girlfriend of yours)

Me: ewe. What I don't understand is why is she mad about something she knew
about. I never told her that Sno was out of the picture. I didn't hide Sno from her
either

Her: you still have a lot to learn about women wena. She is mad because Sno has
you and she doesn't. She is jealous. She thinks you are not taking waiting for
seriously. Kalok you can't be waiting for someone while still busy with someone else.
It makes no sense

Me: cuz she knows I love her. I've told her over and over again

Her: but your actions are contradicting your words

Me: ai women are just too complicated.

We arrived at the mall and I walked with her to Spur because I wanted a bar-one
milkshake. We found her friends already waiting for her. One of her friends happens
to be that Thando chick that gave me her number at spur back home. The moment
she saw me, she jumped up and hugged me
Thando: I've been waiting for your call since that day.

Aviwe: what day?

Thando: chomi remember the hottie I told you about last week. Well this is him

Aviwe had a shocked look on her face

Aviwe: usuyaphambana ke wena (you are crazy) Thando. This is my little cousin.
You can't want my cousin. Come on now

Thando: well he doesn't look little to me. He drives an AMG chomi. No kid drives an
AMG

The waiter brought my milkshake. I had asked for it to be takeaway so I was ready to
leave this conversation

Me: mntase call me when you want me to pick you up.

She kissed my cheek and I left. As I drove back home I thought about what Avi said.
She might have a point but Lwa needs to learn to communicate better. I'm not a mind
reader and she can't expect me to know what ticks her off every time. I decided to
give her a little space. I'm not gonna stop calling her but I'm just not gonna call her
as much. Maybe I'm suffocating her with all the attention I'm giving her
Insert 46

Atha's POV

Spending a week with my family is just what I needed. Its Thursday and I'm going
back home tomorrow. Something weird has been happening. Every time I play with
Sbusi, she falls asleep within 30mins but that doesn't happen when she plays with
my other cousins. I picked her up from the couch to go play with her outside

Sbusi: heeh ena bhut' Atha. Ndibukela opopayi. Andifuni ukuya phandle (I'm
watching cartoons. I don't want to go outside)

I started tickling her and she laughed like crazy

Me: uyafuna ukuqhuba imoto yam? (Do you want to drive my car?)

Her: ewe ndiyafuna bhuti (yes, I want to)

I took her to the car and sat with her in the driver's seat. We played music and she
pretended to be driving. 20 minutes later she started yawning and she fell asleep. I
picked her up and took her to her mom's room.

Makaz' Zintle: uselele already? (Is she sleeping already)

Me: ewe makaz. Umntana wakho akandifuni (yes aunt. Your child doesn't want me)

Her: iza apha sincokole (come here so we can chat)

We went to chill in the lounge and she asked me something I least expected

Her: are you sexually active Athandwe?

I was stunned but she is one of those cool aunts

Me: ewe makaz (yes aunt)

Her: and do you use protection?

Me: yeah. Most of the time

Her: yiyo ke leMost of the time eyenza ukba umntanami alale uma umphethe (its
because of that 'most of the time' that my child falls asleep when you are holding
her)

I was confused. How are the two related?

Me: andiyigqondi lento oyithethayo makaz (I don't understand what you are saying
aunt)

Her: umithisile Athandwe. (You impregnated someone Athandwe)

Ndimithisile? Ndimithise bani mna? (I impregnated someone? Who did I

impregnate?)

Me: ayikho lonto makaz. (There is no such thing aunt) I would know if I had
impregnated someone

Her: thetha negirlfriend yakho. Maybe naye akakaz (talk to your girlfriend. Maybe
she doesn't know yet as well)

I got up and went to the room I was sharing with Siviwe and Lubabalo. If my aunt is
right then I'm screwed straight. I don't want to have a baby with Sno. Lwa would
never forgive me. I would lose her forever. I don't think Sno knows or maybe my aunt
is wrong. I hope she is wrong. Siviwe snapped me out of my thoughts

Siv: heeh bruh let's go out tonight since uyavaya ngomso (you are leaving tomorrow)

Lub: that's a great idea. Let's go to the pub and grill ngaseMall

Siv: shisanyama? Come on bruh. Let's go to the club so we can see cheese girl
hunnies

Me: I'm down for ishisanyama. Club is too much.

Siviwe went to ask Aviwe if she wants to join us and she came to our room

Avi: can my friends come?

Me: yeah. Not too many tho

Avi: ok I will bring the 2 you met the other day. Khanyi (Avi's friend) has a car so I will
drive with her and you guys will use Atha's car

Us: sho

We all took showers and by the time we were all done, it was 7PM. I wore black
jeans, a navy tight fitting T-shirt and black and gold Gucci sneakers. We waited for
Avi's friends to come so we can leave together
Makaz' Chuma: ningabuyi late (don’t come back too late).

Lub: ok mama

Avi's friends arrived at 8. I called Lwa as I was walking out.

Lwa: hello

Me: hey future bae

Her: unjani

Me: ndibasiyo fondini (I'm hot dude)

She burst out laughing

Her: who lit you on fire?

Me: why are ruining my moment kalok fondin? Uyayaz nawe ukuba ndibasiyo.
Ndimhle. Ndisexy (you know I'm hot. I look good and I'm sexy)

Lwa was laughing so much that I started laughing. I like it when things are chilled
between us.

Her: ayikho indaba yakho yaz wena (you are hopeless)

Me: I'm going out neh so soncokola ngomso (we will chat tomorrow) before I leave

Her: going out nobani? (with who)

Me: my cousins and my cousin's friends

Her: are those friends girls?

Me: yeah

Her: ok. Behave

Me: I always do. Ndiyakthanda vha (I love you)

Her: I know

I hung up and drove to the pub. This Thando chick was all over me. Even when I told
her I'm still in high school she didn't care. We ate then bought alcohol. I couldn't drink
a lot because I was gonna be driving and Avi doesn't drink so she was drinking juice.
Siv, Lub and I hit the dance floor just so I can get away from that Thando chick. As
we were dancing the girls came to join us and Thando started twerking and brushing
her ass on my dick. She does have a fat ass and she was tempting but I just walked
away and went to our table. Siv followed

Siv: shiiid bruh did you see that ass? How do you walk away from that?

Me: I have a wife bruh. I can't entertain bitches

Him: but she wants you. Vele ubethe ihit and run. (Just do a hit and run) Plus she is
older

Me: I'll pass bro.

It got late and we had leave. Thando was so drunk and she demanded that she rides
with us. Avi drove Siv and Lub home then went to drop Khanyi off and we agreed
that I'd pick her up after dropping off Thando.

Thando: why is it so hot in your car?

Me: its because you are drunk

Her: ai kushushu apha. (Its hot in here)

She took off the jacket she was wearing and her top.

This girl is psycho. Now she is sitting in my car with her tits out

Me: kawngxibe fondini. (Get dressed dude)

Her: why? I know you like the view.

Next thing she takes off her shorts, opens her legs and grabs my hand and and puts
it over her pussy. She still had her underwear on. I quickly took my hand back and
stopped the car.

Me: uphambeni? (Are you crazy)

Her: I'm crazy about you. I want you

Me: well you can't have me. Now put your damn clothes back on and try acting like
you have a bit of common sense

She took her hand and rubbed my dick. I immediately jumped and got out the car.
This girl is really psycho. Her behavior didn't even turn me on. I hate loose girls that
throw sex all over the place. I took a few deep breaths and got back in the car. She
had passed out. Thank goodness. I drove her home and woke her up when I was at
the gate. She put her clothes back on but her panty wasn't there

Me: Thando where is your underwear?

Her: bye bye Athandwe

She blew me a kiss and tumbled towards the gate. I was tired. I just wanted to sleep.
I picked up Avi and we went home
Insert 47

Atha's POV

My alarm goes off to wake me up for church. I drag myself out of bed. Feels good to
wake up in my own bed. Sharing a room with my cousins was fun but I still love my
room and my bed at our house. I got home on Friday and my parents weren't around
just like every Friday.

Anyway, I showered and dressed in navy chinos and black formal shirt and all black
vans. I went downstairs and found my parents having breakfast

Me: molweni (morning)

Them: morning boy

I sat down and had cereal

Mom: are you taking your car to church or are you riding with us?

Me: I'll take my car, I want to see someone after church

Her: ok boy

We went to church and after church I called Lwa

Lwa: hello

Me: are you back?

Her: yes

Me: can I see you?

Her: yes

We hung up and I drove to her hostel. I called her when I was outside and she came
out. My heart started racing. I felt like a kid about to talk to his crush for the first time.
I got out the car and gave her a hug. She got in and I tried kissing her and she
backed away. So, she was still mad. I thought we had made progress. We sorted out
the picture issue and I could tell she wants me to end things with Sno. I also want to
end things with her now. Its about time. I called Sno while I was with Lwa

Sno: hello
Me: hey unjani (how are you)?

Her: I'm stressed

Me: stressed about what?

Her: my periods. I haven't had them this month

Me: how many days late?

Her: its been 10 days so far

Me: I want to see you. We need to talk

Her: ok

Me: I'll be there in 30mins

I hung up. What my aunt said could be really true now. I wrapped things up with Lwa
and drove to Sno's house. I parked a street away then called her.

Sno: ngiyeza (I'm coming)

Then she hung up. Her attitude was overflowing today but I'm not in the mood to deal
with it. She got in the car and didn't even greet.

Me: what is your problem exactly? You have a bad attitude nje for no reason

Sno: no reason? I could be pregnant Atha. In grade 10 and pregnant. You won't
even be here next year because you are going to varsity. I told you that you should
have gotten the morning after within 3 days but because wena uzitshela ukuthi usile
(you think you are smart), you bought it in your own time. This is all your fault. I don't
even know why you didn't use a condom or why you didn't pull out.

Oh, so now its all Atha's fault. Because Atha was having sex with himself

Me: uyaziva ukuba yikaka yodwa le oythethayo? Andinalo ixesha lalenonsense

yakho (do you hear that you are talking crap? I don't have time for your nonsense).
Today I'm really not in the mood

I drove off with her in the car

Her: Athandwe uyaphi nami? Khona umama ekhaya (where are you taking me. My
mom is home). I can't just disappear
Me: sizawbuya ngok mahn (we will be back now)

I drove to clicks and bought 3 pregnancy tests and gave them to her

Her: yin manje le? (What's this)

Me: pregnancy tests. You are gonna go into those bathrooms, take those tests and
we will check the results in the car.

She did as I said and we drove off back to her hood.

Me: check the results

She looked at the tests and they were all positive. The clear blue test said she is 2
weeks pregnant. Fuck. I'm screwed. She started crying and wanted to leave but I
locked the doors

Me: uyaphi ngok? Uzawthini umamakho mawngena ulila? (Where are you going?
What will your mom say if you walk in crying)?

She kept quiet. I didn't know what to say to her. I came here to break up with her and
now I find out that she is pregnant.

Me: what's going through your mind right now?

Her: I'm still shocked. How could you let this happen? I trusted you and you
impregnate me.

Me: khawume (stop) with the blame game fondin. Let's find a way forward.

Her: there is no way forward. I'm going to abort this baby and move on with my life

Me: uphambene. Uwzuyenza eyokaka kumntanam. (You are crazy. You won't do
that crap to my child)

Her: its my body so I can do what I want.

Me: do that and you will see the real me. I will support my kid. In fact, I will raise my
kid myself if I have to. If awumfuni wena (you don’t want him) then have him and give
him to me. I want you to know that I can't carry on with this relationship. I'm not in
love with you. I know the timing sucks but dragging it won't help either of us. I'm
sorry
She looked at me and started crying even more. She opened the cabin holder to look
for tissue but she found something else and threw it at me. She was now pissed

Her: so, this is the reason why you are breaking up with me? Ngoba ubusy nezifebe?
Ubhebhela izifebe in your car besezikushiyela amaphenti (because you are busy
with bitches. You f**k bitches in your car and they leave you panties)

She had thrown Thando's panty and me. She must have taken it off when I got out
the car the night I drove her home

Me: ndizokubetha mna mawzothetha nami ngathi awbhadlile enhloko yakho.

Syevana? (I'm gonna beat you up if you talk to me like you have no common sense.
Understand?)

She kept quiet.

Me: I'm breaking up with you because you are selfish, you like attention and you
have no respect but most importantly because I'm in love with someone else

Her: ubani loyo (who is that)?

Me: that part doesn't concern you

Her: unlock the door. I want to go home

I unlocked the door and after she got out I drove home. I don't even know how I'm
going to begin with breaking the news to Lwa or my parents. Maybe I should wait
until the baby is born then tell my parents. I looked on the floor of the car and saw
Thando's panty and threw it out the window. Undiqhela kakubi lamntana (that girl is
disrespectful). Her head is definitely missing a few screws.

I started thinking about my unborn baby. Will he be a prince or a princess? I love him
or her already even though the mother wants nothing to do with me now.
Insert 48

Atha's POV

Lwa has been acting weird throughout the exams. She is distant and cold towards
me and she won't tell me what's up until exams end. Today we wrote our last paper
and I finished before her. I went to the guys while waiting for her and Asa was there
as well

Me: sho majita

Them: sho bruh

We discussed the paper we just wrote and then a group of grade 10 girls passed and
Luyanda asked to talk to Phila and they moved aside

Mzwa: majita uPhila usebamba lengane manje? (Guys is Phila dating that girl now)

Asa: yeah. Lengane ibethe uEnhle ngeFacebrick (that chick took Enhle's man).

The guys laughed and I saw nothing funny about it. Phila hurt Enhle a lot and its
because she is strong that she never broke down.

Mzwa: and then wena Atha waSerious ngok...skhiphani ngawe (why are you so
serious)

Asa: kalok uAtha ubethana ngeFacebrick naye (Atha also takes people's girlfriends)

I decided not to react to that comment. Ndivele ndaphola fondin ngathi akwenzakale
nto (I just remained calm as if nothing had happened). From a distance I saw Lwa
and Enhle come out of the hall

Me: sho majita

I fist bumped Mzwa and left. I know Asa is just trying to provoke me so that if we
fight, it will look like we are fighting over Lwa and I'm too smart to fall for his
nonsense. I hugged Enhle and Lwa. While I was hugging Lwa, I whispered in her ear

Me: I'm gonna steal a kiss

Lwa: lol don't do that

I broke the hug and baby kissed her

Enhle: ey ey ey get a room you two

We laughed

Atha: guys let's do something this afternoon. Exams are over and we have a week to
do nothing

Enhle: hayi mchanam Mina ndifuna uklala (nah bruh, I just want to sleep). Maybe
ngomso (tomorrow) ne

Me: sho mchana. Future bae, what about you?

Lwa: I'm game. We need to talk anyway

Me: I'm gonna go home and change then I will pick you up in an hour

Lwa: alright. I will see you then.

I drove home, took a quick shower and dressed in faded blue jeans, a black diesel T-
shirt and black diesel sneakers. I grabbed my keys and my wallet then walked
downstairs. I found Lu eating the biggest sandwich I've ever seen

Lu: aw daddy to be. Uyaphi (where are you going)?

Me: khawume ngalonto fondin. Uzayqhela lawei (relax about that dude. You are
going to get used to that) and then say it in front of the parents

Lu: I'm not a child Athandwe bruh. Are you going to see the baby mama?

Me: akandithethesi mos lamntana (that girl isn't talking to me). I'm going out with Lwa

Him: sho ntwana

Sno decided to stop talking to me. She doesn't answer my calls or SMS because I
shouted at her for telling Lwa about the baby before I had a chance to talk to Lwa.
She even made it look like I'm the one that doesn't want the baby and that I don't
want to take responsibility whereas she is the one that is crazy. I drove to the hostel
and called Lwa. She came out dressed in a black dresse and black and gold
sandals. I immediately got butterflies. She still has that effect on me. She got in the
car and kissed me

Me: what's that for?

Lwa: for being patient with me and taking my crap without complaining.

Me: its all love fondin

I drove off and we went to spur. We ordered our drinks and sancokola (talked)

Me: you said we need to talk

Lwa: yeah but promise you won't get mad

Me: ok I will try

Her: after the maths paper I spoke to Asa. Well he approached me.

She told me what Asa had said to her and I tried my best to remain calm and it was
really difficult.

Me: and what do you think about what he said? Do you believe that I'd do that to
you? Do you believe I got Sno pregnant on purpose?

Her: I don't know what happened between you and Sno. I don't know what led you
guys to be in the situation you are in but what I do know is that I'm not Sno and I'll
never be her. I know you love me. You tell me and show it to me every chance you
get

Me: should I tell you what happened? Do you really wanna know?

She nodded and I told her about me breaking Sno's virginity and how I bought the
morning afters late. I also told her about Sno wanting to abort my baby and that I'm
against it and that she is currently not talking to me

Her: so, are you even ready to be someone's dad?

Me: I'm not but I don't believe in killing babies. What if that's the only baby I'm meant
to have

I'm not gonna lie, what Asa did really pissed me off but I'm not gonna confront him.
I'm gonna give him his time to get over this his way.

We ate, talked and had fun nje. I enjoyed her company and I fell more in love with
her by the minute. Next thing out of nowhere Thando stood before us

Thando: hey handsome. I haven't seen you since the other night
Lwa's face changed but she kept calm

Me: move along Thando. Uyadika fondin (you are annoying dude)

Thando: lol did you find the gift I left for you in your car? I hope you kept it

Me: hai fondin sundqhela (dude stop disrespecting me). I threw that thing out the
window. You will never set foot in my car ever again.

Her: we will see about that. Bye baby boy.

She walked away and Lwa just looked at me

Me: I can explain that. Its not what you think. I promise you

Lwa: and what do you think I'm thinking?

Me: you think I fucked that crazy girl. Of which I didn't. She is friends with Aviwe, my
cousin. We went out with her and she got really drunk. I drove her home and she
made moves on me and I stopped the car. She must have taken off her underwear
when I got out the car.

Lwa: do you expect me to believe that? How stupid do you think I am? Asa was right
about you. Can we just leave? I'm done with you.

It broke my heart to hear her say that. She was hurt and I was the cause of her hurt.

Me: that's a low blow but shap asambe (let's go)

I was a bit pissed. That 'Asa was right about you' line is what pissed me off. That
was a low blow for real. We drove in silence until we got the hostel. She tried getting
out but I locked the door

Me: I want you to listen to me very carefully

Lwa: awkahle Athandwe. Awuvule umnyango (come on Athandwe. Open the door). I
don't want to hear anything that will come out of your mouth

Me: well you will hear it. Ndiyakthanda fondin and asoze ndikuvise ubhlungu (I love
you dude and I'd never hurt you) intentionally. I didn't fuck Thando. If you don't
believe that then andaz ukba ufuna ndenzeni (I don't know what you want me to do).
You can't hold my past against me if you want to build a future with me. I don't hold
your past against you either.
Lwa: usuqedile? (Are you done)

Me: Lwandile khawume fondin (Lwandile come on dude).

Her: ey bruh I want to leave. Unlock this door so I can leave please.

I unlocked the door and drove home. I said all I can say to Lwa, if she wants to be
mad then fine. I'm not gonna beg her, uzangqhela kakubi (she won't respect me). I
did nothing wrong here and I'm not gonna grovel like I did. I found my mom cooking
and just walked past

Mom: awusabulisi ke ngok Athandwe (Athandwe you don't greet now)

Me: uxolo mama. Molo (sorry mom. Hello)

I kissed her chick

Mom: ugqibile ukubhala ngok? (Are you done writing now)

Me: ewe. Siyavala (we are closing) next week.

Mom: ok boy. Your brother just left andaz ndizaythini lendaba kaLulonke. Uyadika
lamntana (I don't know what I'm going to do about Lulonke. He is annoying). He
doesn't want to grow up

Me: give him tough love mom. It will work

I left her and went to my room. I took a nap and woke up at 6. I changed into
sweatpants and vest then went to the gym. I needed to get my mind off Lwa. My
heart was bleeding. I was mad and hurt and that's a bad combination. After gym I
drove home, ate dinner with my parents and chilled in my room playing need for
speed. I played until 6AM and then I fell asleep. I woke up at 2PM, took a shower
and went downstairs to find food. Nothing looked appetizing to me so I drove to
Nandos to grab lunch. I bumped into Zenande, Sno's friend

Zee: hey Atha

Me: hey Zee. Kunjani? (How are you)

Her: I'm good and you?

Me: I'm good too

Her: are you sure? I know you wanted the baby. This must not be easy for you

I was confused. What is Zee talking about?

Me: uthetha ngantoni bruh? (What are you talking about bruh)

Her: about Sno's abortion. She said she told you and you agreed

That girl aborted my baby without talking to me. I felt numb. How could someone be
so heartless? How could you play God with a baby's life? I hate Sno with every fiber
in my being. She will pay for this. I swear to God, that bitch is gonna pay.
Insert 49

The relief that comes with finishing exams is amazing but the stress that comes from
fighting with someone you are not dating ruins that. When I got back to the hostel
after my date with Atha, I changed into sweatpants and a sweater then got in bed.
My heart tells me that Atha didn't sleep with that girl but my heart has been wrong so
many times before. He has hurt me so much in the past couple of weeks and we are
not even dating yet. I wanted to make it official but I'm not so sure anymore. How do
I trust someone that has broken my trust so many times before? Where do I even
begin to pick up the broken pieces of this situationship I'm in. I know I was wrong for
saying Asa was right but I was pissed. I spoke without thinking. I will apologize when
he calls. I'm not gonna call him. My pride won't let me. My phone rang and it was
Enzo. Yho when last did I talk to him

Me: buddy bae

Enzo: don't nyadi nyae me. Why have you so quiet?

Me: lol its these exams buddy, they sucked me in

Him: are you done writing now?

Me: yes, I am

Him: ok tomorrow I'm gonna fetch you and we can hang out.

Me: fetch me with what?

Him: leave that to me. See you tomorrow neh

Me: ok I'll see you tomorrow

I hung up and napped. When I woke up I was expecting to find a missed call from
Atha or at least a text but I found nothing. I guess he has given up on me. He's finally
had too much of my crap and decided to walk away. I guess I pushed him too far this
time. I went to eat at the dining area, took a shower then slept. I woke up the next
day and it was cloudy and cold. I hate winter and its cold weather. I went to have
breakfast then took a shower. I wore black leggings and wore a black skinny jean,
white vest, hooded long sleeve top and a white hoodie. Also wore my white boot all-
star and let my hair hang loose and wore a black beanie. I waited for Enzo to come
and my phone rang. It was someone I had least expected to call me.

Me: hello

Landile: hey beautiful, unjani

Me: I'm good and you?

Him: I'm good. Are you ready? I'm on my way to pick you up

Me: pick me up? siyaphi?

Him: Enzo said I should pick you up. Akaktshelanga (didn’t he tell you)?

Me: nah he didn't but I'm ready

Him: ok I'll be there in 5 mins

I checked myself in the mirror and I was on point. Landile arrived and we drove to
Enzo's school where we picked him and Mahle up then drove to McDonald's. It was
cold and these people wanted us to chill outside.

Me: izosphathisa ngeFlu lento yaz (we are going to get flu from this)

Enzo: usaba iFlu (you are scared of flu) buddy? Come on now

Me: if I get sick, I will kill both of you

Laa: I'll take care of you, don't worry

Enzo: uzokubulala uAtha wena (Atha will kill you). I won't even help you when you
get beaten up.

We laughed. The day was perfect. We played, ate and took tons of pics. I had left my
phone in the car so we took pics with Laa's iPhone. I chilled with Mahle and took
selfies naye

Enzo: so, I invite you because I was missing you and you decide to ignore me and
play with Mahle. You have no love for me anymore

Me: aw buddy phela Mahle is my baby. Come here so I can give you some love

I hugged him and kissed him on the cheek. Mahle and Laa started singing
Them: Enzo and Lwa sitting on a tree. K.I.S.S.I.N.G

Me: you guys a crazy

At 6 we left. Laa dropped off Mahle and Enzo then drove me to the hostel

Laa: so uAtha umjita wakho (Atha is your boyfriend)?

Me: not exactly. Its complicated

Laa: I hope you told him you have 4 big brothers so he better not hurt you

I laughed. I can never get over how hot Landile is and that smile of his is godly.
When we got to the hostel, we hugged and I left. I checked my phone and I had 5
missed calls from Atha and 1 text

From: future bae>

That bitch aborted my baby. I know you are mad at me but I really need you
right now. Please answer your phone.

I immediately called a cab and went to see him he must be going through hell. I
buzzed the intercom and his mom answered

A's mom: molo Ntombi (hello)

Me: molo mama. Ndizobona uAthandwe (I’m here to see Atha)

Her: ok I'll buzz you in.

I went in and knocked on the door and she opened and led me to Atha's room. I
didn't knock. I just went in and he had headsets on. I got on the bed and hugged him.

Me: are you ok?

Him: I am now that you are here

Insert 50

Atha's POV

The moment Lwa wrapped her arms around me, I knew I would be ok. Not now but
eventually I'll be ok. She laid on my chest and I held her

Her: do you want to talk about it?

Me: I don't know. Do you think talking about it will help?

Her: maybe. Its worth a try.

Me: yaz the day I found out I was having a baby I was scared. I was scared of being
linked to Sno for the rest of my life, I was scared of disappointing my parents and I
was scared of losing you. From the day I found out, I've been wondering if I was
gonna have a prince or a princess. I wondered how my baby would look, how he
would act and how he'd complete my life. I've been robbed of meeting and getting to
know someone I made, a piece of me. How do I just forget about that and act normal
again?

My heart was hurting. I could feel my heart breaking piece by piece. I felt incomplete

Lwa: have you spoken to Sno after she told you?

Me: she didn't even tell me. I found out from her friend. Sno was so quick to tell you
and Enhle that she is pregnant but she doesn't have the decency to tell me she has
killed my baby. The day you found out and the way you found out scared the living
daylights out of me. I love you so much Lwandile that the thought of you hurt,
unhappy or upsets hurts me. I thought you'd want nothing to do with me after that but
you proved me wrong. You are matured beyond your years and you are the
strongest woman I know. Even though you were angry and hurt, you didn't make the
whole thing about yourself but rather made it about my baby. Remember when you
told me to man up and take responsibility for my actions?

Lwa: yeah, I remember that. I had to try and get through to you.

Me: that made me face reality. It made me fully accept that I'm going to be
someone's father. Every action I made would have impacted my child. I grew up that
day and hearing you want to give up us for the happiness of a child that wasn't
yours, a child that wasn't even born yet showed me the kind of person you are. You
are a keeper Lwandile Hadebe. I just want you to know that I'd never give you or us
up for anything. Asande wasn't right about me. I'm-

Lwa: I'm sorry about that. I shouldn't have said that. I was angry and spoke without
thinking. I didn't mean it

Me: have you ever heard the saying that 'no one is as honest as a child, a drunk
person or an angry person?'

Her: yeah, I have but th-

Me: let me finish, I was also angry when you said that but because I care about you,
I would never say something that would hurt you. Anyway, I want to thank you. For
being here now, for making me face reality and for being the woman that you are. It
hurts knowing that my baby is gone but Sno will pay for this. That I will make sure of

Lwa got up from my chest and looked me straight in the eye.

Her: learn to forgive even when you don't get an apology. Don't do something stupid
just because you are angry and vengeful. You are bigger than your circumstance.
You will get through this.

She kissed me slowly and softly and we just cuddled. We must have fallen asleep
because I felt Lwa waking me up

Me: hmmmm

Lwa: vuka Atha

Me: hmmmm

Her: bruh its almost midnight. Wake up.

Me: ndinguBruh wakho mna (am I bruh to you)?

She laughed and I got up and checked the time. It really was midnight

Me: should I take you back to school or will you sleep over?

Her: I'll sleep over

Me: let's go get food. I'm hungry

Her: how are you feeling now?

Me: it still hurts but it is what it is and I can't change it so there is no use in dwelling
on it

Her: did talking about it help?

Me: yeah it did. Enkosi vha (thank you).

She smiled and I gave her a baby kiss. She wanted to change so I gave her my
sweatpants. When she took off her jeans, I saw the leggings

Me: heeh fondin how many things are you wearing

Her: kuyabanda phandle Athandwe. Ngiyawasaba amakhaza mina (its cold outside.
I’m scared of the cold).

Me: uneDrama phof ke wena. Masambe (you are so dramatic. Let’s go.)

We drove to KFC and bought wings and twisters then went to eat in my room
cuddling

Me: so, tell me, uzawngCrowna nini (when will you make me your boyfriend)?

Her: mfethu? That's worse then bruh.

Me: don't dodge my question kalok Lwa. I wanna know

Her: ngishele kqala (court me first) then I will give you an answer

Me: lol uphambene wena (you are crazy). I'm not gonna do that

Her: well then you will never know. Ngifuna uklala mina manje (I want to sleep).

I laughed and she turned to face the other direction.

Me: you can't sleep with all those clothes.

She took off the millions of clothes she was wearing and remained in the leggings
and vest. I took of my clothes and just left the briefs. She tried not staring but failed. I
got on top of her and started kissing her. The kiss got heated but she broke it

Lwa: we can't have sex. Not until we are official.

Me: have you seen how sexy you are. I'm gonna have a boner the whole night. Don't
be unfair

Her: those are the rules.

She kept grinding her ass against me and my boner stayed up.

Me: keep that ass away from me. You are torturing

She just laughed and eventually we fell asleep.

Insert 51

I was woken up by Atha and his mom talking

A's mom: aren't you going to church today?

Atha: nah not today. I don't feel up for it

Her: alright. Your father and I will be back tomorrow evening. We have a few things
to sort out

Him: ok mom. See you tomorrow

He closed the door and I went to wash my face and rinse my mouth. I felt his arms
wrap around my waist and he kissed my neck

Atha: morning baby

Me: morning bruh

Him: khawyeke lewei fondin (stop this). Uyayaz ukba ndiyakncanywa so khawenza
mahn (you know I like you so just say yes)

When this guy speaks his Xhosa, I lose it. I just melt right on the spot. His language
is my weakness

Me: you know what you have to do

Him: ok let's go back to the room and I will do it

We walked back to the room and he sat me down

Him: ndiyakthanda Lwa. Ndicela ukuba ngumjita wakho (I love you Lwa, may I
please be your boyfriend).

I just laughed. In my mind we were already together, its just that I wanted him to
work for it a little.

Me: lol you suck at this but yes, I will be your girlfriend

He smiled the biggest smile ever and kissed me

Him: so, can we have sex now?

Me: lol you are crazy

+

*1year later*

All my friends and I passed matric but sadly we didn't all go to the same varsity. Atha
and I went to University of the Free state (I'm studying BCom Economics and Atha is
studying Law), Enhle went to UJ (studying BCom marketing), Asa went to UKZN
(studying engineering), Enzo went to CUT (studying biochemistry). At least I'm in the
same city with Enzo and Phila (studying quantity surveying) went to Fort Hare. My
relationship with Atha is still in full swing and we couldn't be happier. I stay in res and
he has a flat close to campus so we do see each other all the time. I have a
roommate and her name is Lesedi. We get along quite well and we've actually
bonded.

Its Monday today and Sedi and I have Statistics at 8AM. My phone rang and I
checked the time and caller ID. Why is Atha calling at 6:30AM

Me: ello

Atha: baby usalele (you are still sleeping)? Don't you have class at 8

Me: its still half 6 kodwa baby. Its cold and I want to sleep.

Him: vuka (wake up) baby

Me: ok I'm up. Why are you even up right now?

Him: I have to hit the gym before class.

Me: what time is your class?

Him: at 10. Then I have a gap until 3. You are gonna come over right?

Me: I will tell you after my classes. We will talk later. Thank you for waking me up
sthandwa Sam

Him: no problem. Enjoy class. Ndiyakthanda (I love you)

Me: love you more

We hung up and I got out of bed to shower. Lesedi was still fast asleep. I shook her
and she opened her eyes

Her: and now? Where is the fire?

Me: we have class at 8 Sedi so get up.

Her: stats neh? Yho ok I'm up.

We showered and I dressed in leggings, black skinny jean, white long sleeved top
and brown leather jacket and brown knee-high boots. I thought Eastern Cape was
cold, Free State is worse.

I waited for Sedi to finish getting dressed and we walked to class.

Sedi: where is class?

Me: FGG 322

Her: at least its not far.

We rushed to class and the lecturer lectured for 2 hours then we went back to res. I
just wanted my bed. My next class is at 3PM and then I'm done for the day. Monday
is such a chilled day for me. I took a nap until 12PM. I was woken up by my phone
ringing.

Me: hey babe

Atha: I'm outside your res. Phuma (come out)

Me: ok I'm coming

I freshened up and then walked to him. We hugged and shared a passionate kiss

Him: I missed you

Me: you are the one that decided to go home for the weekend its your fault

Him: but I still missed you

Me: I missed you too. Siyaphi (where are we going) because this isn't the route to
your flat.

Him: I want to get pizza before we go to the flat

We got the pizza then drove to his flat. His flat is always clean and tidy. Bae is a bit
of a neat freak which makes my life easier. We chilled on the couch cuddling under a
blanket.

Me: I have class at 3PM

Him: so, do I but this weather is gonna make me skip it.

Me: don't you dare. You woke me up this morning to go to class, no one is skipping
anything

Him: you are so controlling and bossy MaHadebe

We shared a kiss and I got horny. Atha and I haven't had time to ourselves in the
past 2 weeks because we had test week and he had gone home last weekend.

The kiss got heated and I got on top of him. I wanted him so badly. He picked me up
and carried me to his room and placed me on his bed then started kissing me and
taking off my clothes. We did our thing (with a condom of course) and 3 rounds later
I was exhausted

Me: I needed that. Its been way too long

Him: you are a sex freak wena. Masambe syohlamba (let’s go take a shower).

We took a shower together and we made out in there. My man's body is such a turn
on, I can never keep my eyes off it when he doesn't have a shirt on. We got dressed,
finished the pizza then went to class.

After class some guys from class approached us (Sedi and I)

Them: hey ladies

Us: hello

Guy1: I'm Thabiso and this is Lunga. And you ladies are?

These guys were cute. Thabiso was medium height, big eyes and darkish. Lunga
was tall, yellow bone, pink lips and brown eyes

Sedi: I'm lesedi and this is Lwandile

Lesedi was entertaining these guys and I was just staring at my phone. My
relationship with Atha means the world to me and I don't want to be tempted to even
giving these guys my numbers

Lunga: Lwa may I please have your number

Me: I have to go guys. I will see you around. I rushed to res, changed into pyjamas
and got in bed. I browsed my social networks and Atha posted a pic of us and the
caption was "its almost a year together and I still love her like we just started dating".
That was the first time he posted a pic that fully shows the both of us. When we
started dating last year, we kept us a secret. Only our close friends knew. It was just
a precautionary measure because high school has a lot of drama.

Someone had anonymously leaked Sno's naked pics and videos of her
masturbating. They were all over Facebook, Instagram and Twitter. That girl must
have really pissed someone off. I called Atha to tell him about it

Atha: hey nuna

Me: baby have you seen what's going on on social media?

Him: nah, what's up?

Me: check your social networks and you will see

Him: ok I will call you back. Pack an overnight bag, andizogodola ukhona (I’m not
going to freeze while I have you). I will pick you up in 15mins

Me: lol ok babe

I packed the overnight bag and waited for him. He called and we drove to his flat.

Him: I forgot to get food. I will drop you off then I will go.

Me: or we can cook. I'm tired of take aways

Him: ok baby. You will cook and I will watch

We laughed. We got to the flat, I wore his gown and slippers then we went to the
kitchen. He chopped the veggies and I cooked chicken stir fry and pasta.

Me: so, did you see it?

Him: yeah. I don't care though. She deserves it.

I was shocked. So, he is still angry about the baby

Me: you can't say that Atha. No one deserves such

Him: if you say so. I'll be back. You can eat without me. I'll eat when I come back

Me: uyaphi (where are you going)?

Him: ndiyabuya fondin (I’ll be back).

He walked out and I found that quite weird. I hope he had nothing to do with those
pictures being leaked

Insert 52

I waited for him until I fell asleep on the couch. I woke up because I was cold. I
checked the time and it was 2:30AM. Atha was still not back. I called him and his
phone went straight to voicemail. I dragged myself to the bedroom and slept. When I
woke up in the morning he had his arms wrapped around me. He was fast asleep so
I moved the arm and went to shower. I had class at 10 and it was now 8. I showered,
dressed in boyfriend jeans, a black poloneck and I wore Atha's grey's hoodie. I went
downstairs and made toasted bread, scrambled eggs, bacon and coffee. I put his
food in the oven and ate mine. Lesedi called while I was eating

Me: hey Sedi

Sedi: o kae (where are you)?

Me: I slept over at Atha's but I will see you in class

Her: must be nice having a bae. See you then

I hung up, finished eating and rinsed my dishes. I called a cab and grabbed my bag.
Being angry doesn't even begin to describe what I felt towards Atha. Ukungenza
islima nje to ask me to sleepover and then he isn't around the whole night. Do I look
like a house sitter Mina?! The cab guy called and I left.

I got to class and Sedi wasn't there yet. We had accounting and lord knows how
much I'm not a fan of this module. Sedi walked in with Lunga and Thabiso and they
sat next to me.
Lunga: morning Lwa

Me: morning guys

Him: so, you still don't want to give me your number?

Me: uyifunelani (why do you want)?

Him: I want us to hangout and stuff. You are beautiful and you seem like a nice
person.

My phone was on the table and it vibrated. It was Atha. I rejected the call. Atha's
number is saved as 'muntu wam' and our pic pops up when he calls.

Lunga: is that your man?

Me: mind your own business bruh

Him: yho no need to bite my head off. I'm just asking

Me: ok.

I focused on the lecture and when it was over I went to the student center. I bought
coffee at Foodzone then chilled by the chairs. I was busy browsing my phone and
then Sedi joined me.

Sedi: babe your man has been calling me. He says you are ignoring his calls.

Me: its a long story and next time he calls, reject his calls.

Sedi: yho ok girl. What time do we have economics?

Me: at 12.

We chilled and talked about random things and Atha kept calling. I kept rejecting his
calls. We went to economics and then we were left with one class which was at 4. I
went back to res. I watched a few episodes of Grey's anatomy. I received a text from
Atha

From: Muntu wam

I'm sorry sthandwa sam. Please just answer your phone so we can talk

I didn't respond and he called

Me: hmmm

Atha: baby I'm sorry.

Me: ok

Him: can I see you?

Me: no. I don't want to see you. I don't want to talk to you so stop calling me and stop
calling Lesedi. I don't even understand why you want to involve her in my business.

I hung up and switched off my phone. I made a sandwich and waited for my class.
Lesedi came with a huge smile on her face

Sedi: girl Thabiso just asked me out

Me: don't you already have a boyfriend

Her: he is back home. Plus, you know Thabiso is hot

I just laughed at her and said nothing. I got ready for class and went to attend.

This fight with Atha was distracting my focus. It was our first fight as a couple. I
wondered where he had gone to last night. Was he with a girl? Was he out cheating
on me? Why was his phone off? All these thoughts roamed my mind and I needed to
know. After class I called him

Atha: baby

Me: awnglanda.

Him: are you sleeping over?

Me: so, I can look after your flat alone again? No thank you. I have a room I pay for
eRes.

Him: I'll tell you when I'm outside

10mins later he called and I went out to him. We drove to his flat in silence. We got
there and I sat by the high chairs in the kitchen. He joined me

Atha: baby I can expl-

Me: awume kancane with your explanations. I don't want them. I want answers and
you better not lie to me
Him: ok

Me: where were you?

Him: I was in Botshabelo

Me: with who?

Him: Sno and her family?

Me: what is Sno doing in Botshabelo?

Him: her aunt is hiding her there until the thing about the pics and videos dies down

Me: you were there the whole night?

Him: most of the night

Me: why?

Him: baby come on. I feel like I'm at the police station. I've answered your questions
so now you can stop this

Me: I'm not done. I'm far from being done actually

Him: look I wasn't out cheating on you. Believe and trust that.

My boyfriend's mind works in its own way. Its like he sees nothing wrong with leaving
me without explaining and going to his ex and her family. To him the only wrong
thing in relationships is cheating.

Me: lalela la Athandwe. Its not about whether you cheated or not. You invited me
here and then you left me the whole night without explaining anything. I'm gonna ask
you again, why were you there?

Him: ai Lwandile uyadika (you are annoying) sometimes. Just drop it ok.

Me: shap. Take me back to res.

Him: ufun ukuhamba ngok (you want to leave now)?

Me: yes. I can't talk to you when you are like this. You are not even hearing me.

Him: uhambe njani ksasa (how did you leavein the morning)? Leave the same way
because I'm not wasting my petrol until we resolve this.
Uyanghlanyela uAthandwe (Athandwe is crazy). He is going to see my true colors
today. I don't have time for his nonsense. I grabbed his car keys.

Me: uzoyilanda eRes imoto yakho (you will fetch your car from Res).

I walked out and drove to res. Took a shower and got in bed. I couldn't sleep. I kept
tossing and turning. I woke up and made hot chocolate and watched a movie. I must
have fallen asleep because I was woken up by my alarm. I woke Sedi up and we
went to shower. As I was getting ready for class, my phone rang.

Me: hello

Atha: MaHadebe ndicela imoto yami (may I please have my car)

Me: ngikutshelile nje ukuthi uzoyilanda eRes (I told you you will fetch it from Res). If
you don't come get it now, uzoyithola (you will get it) at 10 because I have class now

Him: how am I supposed to get to campus?

Me: take a cab, walk, fly...I don't care

Him: I'll be there in 15mins

I hung up and continued with getting ready. He was outside res in 10mins and I went
out to him and gave him his car keys and walked away. He grabbed my hand pulled
me towards him and smashed my lips with his. We kissed and then I broke the kiss
but didn't get out of his embrace

Him: you stress me out kodwa baby. I can't believe you stole my car

Me: I didn't steal your car. I took it.

Him: let's have lunch at waterfront at 12. I will tell you everything you want to know

Me: ok fine. Pick me up here at 12

He drove me to class. We kissed and I went to attend. At 12 he came to pick me up

and we had lunch at Coco C

Me: so, what happened

Atha: I leaked those pics and videos. I called Sno afterwards and I told her that she
better not have thought that she got away with killing my kid.
Me: how could you do that to her? Do you even have a heart?

Him: babe you saw what I went through when she killed my baby. I told you I was
going to make her pay. I wasn't joking. Anyway, her aunt wants to lay charges
against me

Me: for what?

Him: distributing child pornography. Sno is a minor

Me: do you understand the mess you have caused for yourself because of your
anger. Did I not tell you not to do something stupid? Ai Athandwe kodwa

Him: I explained to the aunt why I did what I did and I told her if she lays charges
against me, I will sue her whole family because there is no proof that I'm behind all of
this. It was a long conversation so that's why it stretched throughout the night. That's
everything

Yho ngiyamsaba uAthandwe (I’m scared of Athandwe) when he is angry and hurt.
Sno definitely learned her lesson. She will never forget Athandwe Dlamini. Never
ever.
Insert 53

Its true that you don't really know a person until you see them angry. I now know
another side to Atha but who am I to judge him? I don't even begin to know what the
baby thing did to him

Atha: baby

Me: hmmmmm

Him: you seem distracted, are you ok?

Me: I'm ok babe. Its almost time for class. Shall we go?

We left Waterfront and went back to campus. Atha kept looking at me then looked
away.

Me: baby I'm not judging you. You did what you had to do in order to find peace. It
was your way and I can't judge you for it.

Him: thank you for understanding.

Time went by and our anniversary came. 21 June. Atha was taking me on a
weekend away to Durban then from Durban, we are going home for the holidays. I
had gotten his anniversary gift last week. I got him cologne and white and red Adidas
superstars. I woke up early because we were leaving at 6AM. I showered and
dressed in black high-rise jeans, a baby blue crop top and a white hoodie and white
and green Adidas Stan Smith sneakers. I called bae

Atha: my love

Me: muntu wam (my person)

Him: are you ready?

Me: yeah, I am. Are you on your way?

Him: yeah. I will find out at the door neh

He came and we drove off. Durban is far. I slept and woke up and we were still not
there. We stopped at a halfway stop and bought food and snacks then drove again.
Eventually we arrived at 2PM. We were exhausted. We checked in at Sun
International. The moment we got in the hotel room I threw myself on the bed
Atha: I was the one driving kodwa ngok nguwena odiniweyo (but you are the one
that is tired)

Me: sitting is tiring.

Him: Do you want to go out?

Durban weather was good. A bit chilly but it wasn't as cold as bloem.

Me: no babe. I just want to chill with you. Order room service and let's cuddle.

He called room service while I changed into sweats then got under the covers. The
food arrived and we ate in bed. Laughing and feeding each other

Him: uyayaz ukba ndiyakthanda neh baby

Me: I know baby and I love you too

We kissed and talked about everything and nothing

Me: so, baby have you forgiven Sno?

Him: yes. I'm moving on from her and what she did

Me: that's good.

We had a round then showered and wore the hotel gowns. We took pics and I
posted a pic of us on Facebook and Instagram and captioned it as "anniversary
weekend away with bae". My location was automatically updated with the pics. Out
of nowhere my phone rang and it was Asande. I don't even remember the last time I
said anything to him. Atha saw the incoming call and looked at me

Atha: are you going to get that?

Me: no

Him: hmmm ok

I could tell that he was a bit annoyed but I didn't confront him.

Asande didn't give up. He kept calling and I kept ignoring him

Atha: that thing is loud fondin. Either uyayiphendula (you answer it) or you switch it
off.
Me: yho relax. I'll put it on silent

Him: you know he won't stop right? So just answer the phone

Me: angifuni (I don’t want to). I have nothing to say to him

Him: if you say so.

We watched a movie in silence. When the movie ended Atha took off the gown and
got in bed. I did the same. There was no cuddling. I faced my direction and he faced
his. I couldn't sleep. An hour later he got up, put the gown on and went to chill on the
balcony. It was almost midnight and I was worried about him so I put on the gown
then went to him.

Me: baby

He kept quiet. He didn't even turn around. I wrapped my arms around him from the
back and he still didn't react. Now I didn't know what to do. I didn't let go

Atha: Lwandile

Me: baby

Him: yiza apha (come here)

I stood in front of him and his eyes were red. He must have been crying.

Him: why is Asande still calling you?

Me: I don't know why he is calling me but its the first time in ages.

Him: when last did you talk to him?

Me: last semester. He called to ask me how I'm doing. Nothing more

Him: so, you picked up when he called last semester but today you don't pick up.
Why?

Me: baby I didn't want to disrespect you

Him: you didn't want to disrespect me? The disrespect happened when you
answered his calls the first time and didn't tell me.

I hate fighting with my boyfriend. Fighting with Atha is so draining.

Me: I'm sorry love

Him: it wouldn't be nice kuwe if I was still buddy buddy noSno. You know you'd be
mad at me for days.

Me: Athandwe ngiyaxolisa nje (I’m sorry).

Him: I'm just saying nje. I don't want my heart broken. Respect, love, loyalty and trust
is what will make us have a happy and successful relationship. We are a team baby
wam

Me: ok baby. I wouldn't hurt you intentionally. I promise.

We shared a kiss and looked at the waves in the night light

Him: let's go to bed MaHadebe.

We got in bed, cuddle and eventually dozed off.

Insert 54

Next day I was woken up by the sounds of a clicking camera. I slowly opened my
eyes and found Atha taking pics of me while I'm sleeping

Atha: morning sleepy head

Me: hmmmm what are you doing?

Him: capturing my girlfriend. Wanna see the pics I took

Me: nah bruh. I just woke up. Can I just find myself first?

He kissed my cheek then went to take a shower. I got out of bed and ordered
breakfast. I know my man eats a lot so I ordered everything...sausages, bacon, hash
browns, eggs, toast and coffee. The food arrived as Atha got out the shower

Me: babe please get that. I want to shower

Him: you want the waitress to pass out? Look at all this *pointing at his abs*

Me: lol just get the door

I showered and wore a black lacey short dress and a denim sleeveless jacket. We
ate our breakfast and planned out day

Him: what do you feel like doing?

Me: bike riding, going on the sky car, uShaka Marine world and walk on the beach

Him: chesa baby, you have this all figured out. I can't believe its our anniversary
ngomso. I'm so excited. Can't wait to give you your gifts

Me: gifts? How many are there?

Him: you will find out ngomso (tomorrow).

We drove to Moses Mabhida for the sky car ride. I'm so scared of heights so it was a
bit scary for me but I enjoyed it and we took tons of pics. We did everything we had
planned to do and we took a walk on the beach as the sun was setting. We gazed at
it and it was the most beautiful thing I've ever seen

Him: that sunset is almost as beautiful as you

Me: lol you say the sweetest things baby boo

We kissed for the longest time. The kind of happiness I'm feeling can't be put into
words. I'm in love with my best friend. He makes me laugh, he is kind, sweet, caring,
smart and sexy. He goes out of his way to make me happy and even though we fight
a lot, I remain loving him more each day.

Me: I'm hungry

Him: me too. Let's have dinner at Gateway

Me: I need to freshen up so let's start at the hotel.

I showered and wore beige high-rise pants and a cream long sleeve lacy top, nude
heels and a white cardigan. Atha wore black chinos, white golf T-shirt and white
lacoste sneakers

Atha: damn babe you look beautiful. I'm the luckiest guy in the world

Me: you better not forget that. You look good too. Not as good as me obviously but
uyazama (you are trying) shame lol

Him: ndizokushiya apha xa uphapha fondin (I’mgoing to leve you here if you are
being forward).

Me: then you will walk because I will take your car

Him: uyandqhela (you are forward). I will buy you your own car one day but not
anytime soon

As we were having dinner, his phone rang. He looked at me and then looked at his
phone then back at me

Me: and now?

He showed me his phone and it was my older brother calling

Me: answer

He answered and then gave me the phone

Me: hello

Nami: where are you?

Me: uhm why are you asking?

Him: ngithe kuwe ukuphi (I asked you where you are)?

He was shouting

Me: I'm in Durban

Him: utshele bani ukuthi uyalapho (who did you tell that you are going there)? Do
mom and dad know where you are?

Me: no

Him: what if something happens to you? You are not a child anymore. Try being
responsible for once

Me: stop talking to me like I'm a child. Nothing is going to happen to me

Him: give Atha the phone

They spoke for a few minutes then hung up. Onami spoiled my night and my whole
weekend in fact. I don't understand why he is even keeping tabs on me.

Atha: should we go?

Me: yeah

He settled the bill and we left for the hotel.

I took my clothes off and got in bed. Atha got in with me and held me tight.

Him: don't let him ruin our weekend. Its our anniversary tomorrow, I need you at your
happiest.

Me: I will try best. I just need to get some sleep. Goodnight

Him: give me a kiss first

We kissed and I tried sleeping

Insert 55

Atha: baby its our birthday wake up

I hate being woken up from my sleep. I rubbed my eyes and looked at him. He was
holding 2 cupcakes with one candle on each. I checked the time and it was 6AM

Me: baby its 6AM, it will still be our birthday in 3hrs

Him: vuka vuka (wakey wakey) Lwa. We have to catch the sunrise. Get dressed

We all say we want a romantic boyfriend until he wakes you wake up at 6 to look at
the sun. I wore sweatpants and bae's hoodie. We walked to the beach and it was
cold. Not chilly but really cold. He held my hand and we sat on a rock and waited. I
was sitting between his legs and then the sun came up. It really was beautiful.

Atha: happy anniversary sthandwa sam. I hope we will celebrate many more years. I
want to show you all the love I can show you. I want you to be constantly smiling
because you reflect my love.

We kissed and he held me tight

Me: happy anniversary to you too baby. You do make me happy. Despite the fights, I
still choose you. I'll choose you over and over again. No matter what. And as much
as I love you and I'm enjoying seeing the sun rise, ngiyagodolo mina. Let's go back
to the hotel

Him: lol ai kodwa wena (but you though). A person can never be romantic kuwe

Me: lol you have all day to be romantic sthandwa sam

We walked back to the hotel and I immediately went back in bed. I wasn't sleepy
anymore so I decided to give Atha his gifts.

Me: close your eyes babe

Him: lol ok. Just don't take advantage of me

I laughed and took out the gift bag

Me: open your eyes

I gave him his gift.

Him: thanks baby

He gave me a baby kiss and opened the gift

Him: wow baby I love these sneakers and I've been wanting them for the longest
time. Thank you, baby,

Me: my pleasure. So, am I getting my gift now as well?

Him: only one of them.

He took out a small gift bag and gave it to me. I opened it and found a rose gold and
white Guess watch. It was beautiful

Him: turn it around

I turned it around and it was engraved. It was written " Atha loves you". I loved it and
I couldn't hide it. I was smiling ear to ear.

Me: this is gorgeous Atha. I love it.

Him: and I love you

Me: let's go shower. I know you have something planned today. Well you better have
something planned if you want to live a long and healthy life.

Him: lol shower together?

I smiled and stripped naked and headed to the shower. He followed. We had a quick
session in the shower then washed each other. The weather started changing and it
rained really hard. Atha looked disappointed

Me: did you have outside plans for us?

Him: yeah but I will improvise

He tossed me his car keys. I gave him a puzzled look

Him: go out for a while. I will call you when you can come back

Me: go out where? Its cold and wet outside

He gave me is bank card and told me not to go wild. I drove to the Pavilion and
shopped. I bought matching hoodies. One black (written King Bae) and one white
(Queen Bae). I bought him a watch and had it engraved as well. I had it written "Lwa
loves you" and then I went to grab a light lunch at Mugg and Bean. I called Enzo

Enzo: hey stranger

Me: hey stranger to you too. Ukuphi(where are you)?

Him: I'm at home. Why?

Me: let's meet up.

I told him where I was and he came.

Him: you come to my home town and you don't say. You are the worst friend ever

Me: I'm sorry buddy. I'm on a weekend away with bae.

Him: uphi pho?

Me: he kicked me out of the hotel room. He is up to something

Him: he is making the rest of us look bad

Me: you don't even date so nje relax

We continued catching up until Atha called and told me I can come back. I hugged
Enzo and drove back to the hotel. I opened the door and it was like I had walked into
a mini heaven. There were small white candles all over the room, white rose petals
and a picnic setup. Soft music was playing in the background. It was perfect. He led
me to sit down

Me: wow baby this is beautiful.

Him: this is your second gift

We ate and spoke about everything and anything. We were moving at our own pace
and loving every moment of it. At this moment all the fights, all the waiting and
everything else we've been through was worth it. We've been through a lot to get
here.

Him: are you happy?

Me: I'm more than just happy and its all thanks to you my love

Him: that's what I wanna hear. Two more gifts to go

Me: I have 2 more gifts for you too

Him: ok your turn ke

I gave him the watch. It was a black and gold guess watch. He turned it around and
loved the engraving.

Him: lol copy cat. I love it babe.

I also gave him the black hoodie that I bought today and he gave me a necklace with
"A" hanging from it. He put it on me and started kissing me. We had 2 rounds on the
picnic blanket

Me: I take it that was my last gift. You.

Him: lol of course. I'm a gift that you love unwrapping all the time.

Atha makes being full of himself so adorable. I couldn't have asked for a better way
to spend our anniversary. We showered together again and got in bed. We cuddled
and I fell asleep in his arms. He is driving us home tomorrow and I know that's going
to be another long trip but I don't mind. After the amazing weekend I've had, nothing
could bring me down.

We woke up the next day, showered, ate and left for Eastern Cape. I drove until the
half way stop and then he took over. He played Chris Brown's album X and we sang
along. He laughed at my bad singing and I didn't care

Atha: lol baby are you singing or reciting a poem? I'm confused

Me: lol don't be jealous of my amazing voice

Him: have we redefined amazing ngoba your singing is far from the amazing that I
know.

I hit him playfully and continued with my singin

Insert 56

Nothing beats the feeling of being at home. I haven't been home in 6 months and
clearly, I've missed out on a lot. Simphiwe (Onami's girlfriend) lives with my parents
because she is pregnant and her parents kicked her out.

I woke up, brushed my teeth and went downstairs to make breakfast for myself. I
found Phiwe and Nami in the kitchen. Things between Nami and I were still not ok
and I wasn't going to apologize shame.

Me: morning

Them: morning

I made myself cereal and sat on the high chairs and ate.

Nami: can we talk?

Me: khuluma (talk)

Him: I owe you an apology. The way I spoke to you wasn't ok. I'm sorry

Me: shap

Him: I'll make it up to you. You can come with us to the doctor for the baby scan

My brother knows I love babies so I definitely agreed. I washed my bowl and went to
shower. I wore black leggings, oversized shirt, white boot all stars and left my hair
loose and wore a beanie. Phiwe looks cute with her baby bump and it seems like
Nami is excited about his baby. We drove to the doctor and he did the ultrasound.
Phiwe was almost 8months pregnant and she is having a baby girl. I was so excited,
I couldn't even hide my excitement.

Me: I can't wait to meet my niece. I'm sure she will be beautiful like me.

Nami: lol she won't look like you. She has parents remember and you are not one of
them

Me: Phiwe she will look like me angithi?

Phiwe: lol I'm staying out of all this. You guys are too crazy. Yho guys let's go home.
This baby is heavy
Me: you guys can go. I'm meeting up with Noma and Lolo.

Nami: ok we shall see you later ke

Me: big bro ngcela imali (may I please have money). Phela you work now

Him: ai uyahlupha (you are stressful). It's your birthday next month so if I give you
money it will be out of your birthday money

Me: don't mix things that shouldn't be mixed

He gave me R300 and I walked around the mall waiting for my friends. 15 mins later
they arrived with their boyfriends. Noma was dating Syanda (Nami's friend) and Lolo
was dating Andile (also Nami's friend)

Nomz: chomam

We hugged and I hugged the rest of them

Me: so, I'm the candle holder la. Wooooh shame ngathi I'm gonna leave you guys

Lolz: no friend you can't leave us. We are going to the beach to have a braai there. It
won't be awkward and we won't be lovey dovey

I've heard that before and it never ended well. If this was properly planned I would
have told Atha and convinced him not to go to Cape Town with his family. I called
Landile

Laa: hey beautiful. Its been forever

Me: hey. I know hey. Are you in Durban?

Him: nah I'm at my mom's house. Why?

Me: let's go to the beach phela. We are having a braai there

Him: alright. I will meet you guys there

We hung up. Nomz, Lolz and I went to buy meat and snacks while Sya and Andy
went to buy alcohol and coal. We were gonna get the braai stand at my house.

Nomz: so how was the baeWeekend?

Me: girl it was amazing. He went all out

Lolz: that man of yours is flames though. Those lips and those dimples. Jesus Christ
ai muhle umfana

Nomz and I laughed. Lolz is obsessed with hot guys and her boyfriend is hot nyana
naye. We bought pork, beef, wors, rolls and chips. I wanted to bring my little brother
with. I missed that bugger shame. I called him

KK: sis

Me: hey little one, ukuphi (where are you)?

Him: I'm at home

Me: usugezile (have you bathed)?

Him: yeah. Why?

Me: we are going with you to the beach. We will fetch you now now

Him: I will bring a friend. Your friends bore me

I laughed and hung up. I rode with Nomz and Syanda and we went to our house get
the braai stand. I changed the leggings and wore boyfriend jeans.

Nami: niyaphi (where are you going)?

Me: the beach.

Him: so, I don't get an invite?

Me: uzosala nobani uPhiwe (who will Phiwe be left with)? Relax bro. Bond with her. I
will see you later.

Him: its tough being me. Vele I have work tomorrow so its fine.

We drove to the beach. Us girls chilled while the guys got the braai set up and
braai'd the meat

Sya: did you guys get the paper plates and paper cups?

Nomz: yaz we forgot them babe

Me: I'll ask Landile to bring them.

As I was about to call him, I saw his car. He parked and got out looking sexy as ever.
He was wearing black denim shorts, white v-neck T-shirt and Adidas sneakers. I'm
not gonna lie, I drooled.

Laa: hey guys

Us: hey

Me: Laa please borrow us your car, we want to get paper plates and paper cups

Laa: asambe. I'll take you there.

We left

Laa: you are scarce Lwa

Me: nawe nje. You don't even call

Him: work gets hectic. How's varsity? Are you coping?

Me: yeah, I am. All your friends have girlfriends and Nami has a baby on the way but
what about you?

Him: I'm focused on myself. I will get a girlfriend when I've made a success of my
life.

Me: I hope it won't be too late. If you know what I mean

We bought the stuff and went back to the others. We found them already drinking.

Me: you guys just couldn't wait?

I poured myself a glass of wine and sat down. We drank and had crazy convos as
usual.

Andy: Lwa iphi lebhari ojola nayo (where is that idiot you are dating)?

Me: aksiyo ibhari iboyfriend yami wena (my boyfriend is not an idiot). He is in Cape
Town

Sya: Cape Town? Uyofeba straight ke lapho (he is hoeing there)

Me: uyadakwa wena (you are psycho). My man is faithful

Sya: indoda eyakho uma iphambi kwakho (a man is only yours when he is in front of
you). When he isn't in front of you indoda yomphakathi (he belongs to the
community)

Yho you should have seen Nomz. She lost it

Nomz: so that's what you do? Fuck around when I'm not with you?

Me: ai guys save your drama for when you guys are alone. We don't want to witness
your mess.

Laa: yeah guys. Chill out. Take a deep breath and let's have fun.

When the meat was ready we ate and my little brother and his friend were drinking
juice. We stayed at the beach until 6

Me: guys I have to take KK home. It’s getting late

Andy: let's continue this chill session at Laa's mom's house. She isn't around vele

Me: I'd have to get permission first. You guys know how my dad is.

KK and I drove with Landile. When we got home my dad was working nightshift so
only mom was home.

Mom: iphi ingane yami Lwandile (where is my child Lwandile)?

Me: nangu (he is here) ...mom can I go to Landile's house. We still want to chill

Mom: wena nobani (you and who)?

Me: Noma, Lolo, Syanda and Andile and Landile of course

Her: ok. Ubuye (come back) before midnight please

Me: ok mom.

I kissed her cheek and left. I haven't spoken to Atha today. He has been quiet nje the
whole day. What if Sya was right? What if he has forgotten about me. I tried calling
him and it went straight to voicemail. The last time that happened he was busy with
Sno and her family. I switch off my phone and decided to have fun with my friends.
Time to let loose and have fun. The moment we got to Laa's house we got down to
drinking. We were all getting drunk except Laa.
Me: Landile why aren't you drinking?

Laa: I have work tomorrow and I still have to drive you home. These guys are
sleeping here. They are too drunk.

Me: you suck shame. Yaz I used to have such a big crush on you wena

Him: really? Why didn't you tell me?

Me: tell you? Hell no. I don't do that. If you felt the same way then you would have
said something

Him: so, the crush is gone?

Me: definitely. I have a man

Him: uphi ngoba angimboni la (where is he because I don’t see him here)

Me: well he is in Cap-

He smashed his lips on mine and kissed me

Insert 57

I quickly backed out of the kiss.

Me: what are you doing Landile? I just told you I have a man

Him: but he isn't here and what he doesn't know won't hurt him. Come on. I've seen
the way you look at me. I know you want me. You want this

It was like I immediately got sober. Ungjwayela kabi lomfana (this guy is annoying
me).

Me: clearly you are drunker than me. I don't want you. Yes, I think you are hot but my
man is hotter than you and I love him so if you pull that stunt again, I will tell my
brother and that won't end well for you. Nxa

I went back to the others and poured myself another glass and calmed down. We
drank until 11 and Sya, Lolz and Nomz passed out and I wanted to leave.

Me: Landile please take me home

Laa: asambe (let’s go)

Me: Andy I shall see you some other time

Andy: sho baby girl

Laa drove me home and parked outside

Laa: I'm sorry for that kiss. I crossed the line. Can we put it behind us? Please. I
don't want things to be awkward between us

Me: its fine. I need to go. I need sleep

I got out and went in the house and straight to bed. I woke up the next day with one
hell of hangover. I dragged myself out of bed, washed my face and brushed my
teeth. I needed strong black coffee. I went downstairs and there was no one. That's a
first. There is always someone in the kitchen in this house. I made coffee and a
greasy breakfast. Fried steak, fries, beef patties and cheesy buns. Phiwe walking in
as I was getting ready to eat

Phiwe: lol seems like I'm not the only pregnant one in this house
Me: lol me? Pregnant? Woooh shame. Never

Her: then what's with the mountain of food?

Me: I'm hung over lovie. I hate alcohol

She sat with me and we talked then our phones rang at the same time. We looked at
each other and laughed. Atha was calling me so I answered

Me: worst boyfriend in the history of boyfriends.

Him: lol I know sthandwa sam. I dropped my phone and it broke. I had to buy a new
phone. How are you?

Me: so, you got a cheap phone now? Shame

Him: hell no. I got an iPhone

Me: mxm I was looking forward to laughing at you yaz

Him: so how are you my chocolate chicken?

Me: chocolate chicken? Ai I refuse shame. I'm hungover babe

Him: usuyanxila ngok?

Me: not really. We were at the beach and we had fun

Him: I hope nothing crazy happened.

I'm not gonna tell him about what Landile did. I will tell him in person. We continued
our conversation and I ended the call. Phiwe's phone call ended before mine

Phiwe: I need a favor

Me: I'm listening

Her: I have to buy baby stuff and I don't feel like going by myself. Do you mind going
with me?

Me: I don't mind. Let me go shower

I showered and wore black jeans, black Nike sneakers, white vest and my white
Queen Bae hoodie. I found Phiwe downstairs.

Me: how are we getting to town?

Her: Your brother is taking us there. Its his lunch break

Me: ok sobuya ngeCab (we’ll comeback with a cab)?

Her: yeah.

We waited for Nami and he drove us to the mall. We went to baby boom, Reggie's,
Toys R Us, Ackerman's and woolies. We bought a cot, baby clothes, a car seat,
baby bottles and other baby stuff. By the time we were done I was exhausted. We
had way too many things to put in a cab so I called dad.

Dad: Lwandile

Me: baba

Dad: nikuphi (where are you)? I woke up and this house was empty

Me: we are in town. Cela uzoslanda (please fetch us). We can't take a cab ngoba
ziningi lezizinto (ecause these things are a lot)

Him: ok ngiyeza (I’m coming).

We waited for a good 30mins before my dad arrived. We drove home and I took a
nap. I needed it after the long day I had. I slept for 2 hours then woke up. I watched
TV with my little brother and Phiwe. I wasn't focused on what was playing. Bae was
busy sending me pics of himself at the beach and on Table Mountain. He was having
fun in Cape Town and I was missing him now. We haven't been apart for this long
and it sucked.

Me: let's go cook guys.

KK: boys don't cook sis. I'm gonna play a game on the PS while you guys cook.

Phiwe: you will see flames when you get to varsity wena

Me: uzobona amaKruger (he will see flames) lol

Phiwe and I went to the kitchen. Played music and cooked up a storm. Mom walked
in while we were dancing and singing in the kitchen

Mom: something smells nice.

Me: that's because I'm in the kitchen

Her: you are abusing Phiwe though. She will go into labor from all that dancing. She
will give birth on my kitchen floor.

I burst into laughter. I couldn't stop. My mom is hilarious. After cleaning up in the
kitchen I called bae

Atha: my lemon strawberry

Me: lol yaz I'm gonna ignore these things of yours

Him: lol because you secretly love my sweetness

Me: I don't hey. I really don't. How's Cape Town? I see you are having the time of
your life there. Going to the beach in winter and stuff. Isn't it cold that side?

Him: its freezing but I'm manning up and doing it all

Me: don't get flu and die there. I'm not ready to be a widow mina

Him: so, you are my wife ngok (now)?

Me: I'm 5 to being your wife. Wait and see nje wena. Did I tell you I'm gonna be an
aunt in 2 months? I'm so excited

Him: Nami is having a baby? I should call and congratulate him

Me: yeah you should.

Him: let's make a baby phela nathi

Me: lol no no no. Not anytime soon love. I want the ring before the baby shame.
Degree, marriage then baby. In that order. No skipping steps

Him: lol we will see about that. I will call you later vha? I have to go

Me: ok boo. I love you

Him: same to you lol

We hung up and chilled with the family. Dad later went to work and we watched TV,
ate and I went to shower and got in bed with my phone in my hand. I checked social
media and retired to lala land
Insert 58

I woke up and went jogging. Its been a while but I just wanted time to unwind and be
alone. When I got back home I was greeted by the great smell of pancakes. I knew
dad and Nami were making breakfast. My mom is too much of a health freak.

Me: pancakes for breakfast. Now I know its going to be a great day

Dad: hamba uyogeza khona sizodla (go bath so we can eat)

Me: ok baba

I ran upstairs and took a long hot shower. I got dressed and rushed downstairs. I set
the table and we all sat around the table. We said grace and dug in

Mom: ushukela omngaka kodwa (so much sugar). I'm going to get diabetes here

Nami: and die a happy woman

Me: lol Nami stop being crazy please. I still need mom around to see my kids

Dad: kids? What kids? You are not making any kids

We all burst out laughing. My father is too overprotective. I'm not even allowed to
date but my mom let's me date and we hide it from my dad.

Me: but dad I will get married some day and for that to happen, I'd have to date

Dad: yeah when you are 30

Me: lol yho ai I give up

Out of nowhere Phiwe screamed. We all looked at her

Phiwe: I think the baby is coming. Now

We all rushed around. Nami grabbed the baby bag and drove me and Phiwe to the
hospital. My parents stayed at home. When we got to the hospital she was admitted
and taken away. Nami and I waited in the waiting room.

Nami: the baby is way too early. I hope she will be ok

Me: relax bro. She is in great hands. They both are. Just calm down

Him: but what if they are not ok? What if we lose the baby?
Me: you won't lose the baby. Trust me

My brother stresses too much but I understand shame. This is his baby after all. 30
mins later a doctor came to us. We stood up the moment we saw her coming

Dr: Hadebe?

Us: yes

Nami: is everything ok? Is my baby ok? Is my girlfriend ok?

Her: I'm gonna need you to calm down Mr Hadebe. They are both fine. It was a false
alarm. Your girlfriend was not in labor. It was braxton hicks. False labor.

Him: oh, that's a relief

Her: it should be. She needs to relax though. No over working and no standing on
her feet for too long. Understood?

Him: understood. Loud and clear

Her: we will be discharging her shortly.

Him: thank you so much doctor

Her: only a pleasure

She walked away and my brother sighed with relief

Me: I told you they will be ok.

Him: yeah whatever

Phiwe was discharged and we drove home

Me: pass by McDonald's please. I want an Oreo chocolate mcflurry

Nami: do you have money?

Me: no. You do

Him: lol you think nginguAtha wena ngiyakbona

Me: lol Atha is hot. Wena you are not. Phiwe indoda yakho uZero (you man is zero)

Him: lol baby please tell this child that I'm the sexiest person in the world
Phiwe: lol I'm not getting involved. But you are hot wena baby. Way too hot

Me: mxm she is just saying that not to hurt your feelings.

We passed by McDonald's, bought my ice-cream and the share box then we drove
home. Mom jumped up from the couch the moment she saw us

Mom: batheni esbhedlela (what did they say at the hospital)?

Nami told her what the doctor had said and she calmed down

Phiwe: I'm going to lay down.

Nami: let me help you up the stairs. I'm not taking any more chances

Me: lol dramatic much. Mama where is my sensible brother?

Mom: uyageza (he is bathing) upstairs.

I want to hang out with my little brother. I feel like I've been neglecting him. I waited
for him to finish bathing then we played video games.

KK: I don't know why you still play with me because I always beat you

Me: or I always let you win because you are my favorite brother

Him: you are such a liar. Your favorite brother is whichever one is in front of you at
that moment. I know you

Me: lol no comment lapho.

Him: because you know it true

Me: mxm I'm hungry mina manje. Where is that share box? I want my food

Him: its in the kitchen smarty pants

I grabbed him and pulled him to the kitchen. We ate our food and chilled there and
chatted. My baby bro has grown so much. He is a teenager now and soon he will
start dating and those crazy girls will be in and out lana. Lol my mom will have fun
chasing them around. Nami joined us

Nami: ntwana please excuse us. Ngifuna ukukhuluma noLwa kancane (I want to talk
to Lwa for a bit)
KK left

Nami: I'm thinking of moving out.

Me: why? I mean you need our parents to help you out

Him: well not now obviously but in January next year. I mean I have a job now so I
can look after Phiwe and the baby out of my own pocket

Me: talk to the parents though. Get their input

Him: alright but do you think its a good idea?

Me: I guess it is. You are grown now and you are about to have your own family. It
makes sense

Him: you will visit right?

Me: of course. As often as I can

Him: good. So, when last did you talk to Landile?

Me: yho its been a week. I last spoke to him the night of the chillas

Him: has he told you how he feels about you?

Me: uhm no. Well he kissed me and I told him where to get off

Him: you didn't give him a chance to tell you?

Me: hold on. Why are you advocating for Landile manje (now)? You said I should
never date your friends

Him: I know what I said but he is genuine about his feelings. He is really into you

Me: I don't care. I'm in a relationship with a guy that loves me and I love him

Him: don't take this the wrong way but Landile works, he is grown which means he
knows what he wants and is no longer trying to play the field. I like Atha, uyintwana
egrand (he is a good kid) but he is young and just started varsity. I know what its like
being a guy in varsity. Its a new world and you are curious about exploring it.

Me: with all due respect big bro, I'm not interested in your friend and if you want us to
remain cool with each other, let's not have this conversation.
I got up and went to my room. I threw myself on the bed and looked at the ceiling.
My brother's words echoed in my head. I didn't want to believe him but then again,
he is a guy that's been to varsity. He might have first hand experience. I wanted to
talk to Phiwe. I needed to know the kind of guys we find in varsity. I knocked on her
door

Phiwe: come in

I walked in and sat on the bed next to her and kept quiet

Phiwe: what's wrong babe?

Me: has my brother ever cheated on you?

Her: why do you ask?

Me: I'm just curious

Her: yeah, he has. A few times actually

Me: and you stayed with him? Why?

Her: because I love him and I know he loves me. Our relationship was worth my
forgiveness. He was a guy in varsity. Attending parties left, right and center with
temptations all around him. He was bound to slip up

Me: and have you ever cheated on him?

Her: I have and he forgave me. Love is patient babe. Always remember that. Is
everything ok with Atha?

My phone rang before I could respond

Me: speak of the devil. We will continue this conversation later

I answered my phone

Me: baby

Atha: my heart. Unjani (how are you)?

Me: I'm ok and you?

Him: what's wrong?

Me: nothing. When are you coming back?

Him: on Tuesday. Miss me already?

Me: yeah, I miss you

Him: you don't sound ok baby. Talk to me

Me: I'm fine

Him: suxoka Lwandile

Me: please drop it babe. I'm really ok.

Him: we will talk when I get back?

Me: yeah

Him: ok ke baby. I miss you and I love you. Never forget that.

Me: I love you too munt' wam

We hung up and I went to nap. I needed to clear my head

Insert 59

I tried sleeping but I couldn't. I tossed and turned until I gave up. I heard noises
coming from downstairs and I went to see who it was. I found Nami and his friends
watching soccer.

Me: hey guys

Them: hey Lwa

I went to pour myself juice in the kitchen and Syanda followed me

Sya: Lwa I need your help

Me: my help? With what?

Him: with Noma. She hasn't been taking my calls since the day we were at the beach

Me: do you blame her though? The comment you made was uncalled for.

Him: I was tipsy fondin. Uyaphambana lamntana (that girl is crazy). Its not like I was
serious about what I said. I was talking to you and you took no offence

Me: I'm not your girlfriend, she is and considering the guy you were before you guys
started dating, she is right in being mad. Understand where she is coming from.

Him: ai this is why I don't date. Being in a relationship is draining. So, what should I
do?

Me: I will talk to her

Him: thanks baby sis

Me: lol sho

I was really missing my man now. I posted a pic of him without a shirt on and tagged
him. Within minutes I got a notification that Sno had commented. She wrote:
"hmmmm I miss licking those abs." I knew she was trying to provoke me so I didn't
say anything. I'm too old for Facebook drama shame. Then Atha called me

Me: bae

Atha: love

Me: unjani?
Him: I'm good. You saw that comment?

Me: yeah

Him: you ok?

Me: yeah, I'm fine. I know what she is trying to do and I won't stoop down to her level

Him: that's my baby

Me: nawe ke don't be going at her. Leave her

Him: ok baby. Soncokola later. Bendikucheckisha nje (we’ll talk later, I was just
checking up on you)

Me: bye babe

We hung up and I went back to reading the comments on the pic. My friends were
going at Sno shame. Enhle, Nomz, Lolz and Lesedi all put her in her place and I just
said "Lol" and left it. Suddenly I was craving braai'd meat. Braai'd pork to be exact.

Me: guys let's go to the shisanyama

Nami: you have money?

Me: I have 4 big brothers. 2 of them work

Laa: lol getting jobs was financial suicide for us guys. Lwa is gonna burn holes in our
pockets

Me: lol so we are going?

Laa: I'm game

Sya: me too

Andy: count me in

Me: Nami?

Him: I'm not ok with leaving Phiwe. Especially after what happened this morning.

Me: mom and dad are here. Come on

Nami: ok let me change ke then we can bounce.

I went to change as well and wore girlfriend jeans, white poloneck and bodywarmer
and black superstars. Tied my hair into a bun. I went downstairs and we left. I called
Lolo

Lolo: chomam

Me: unjani

Her: ndiphilile wena (I’m well and you)?

Me: I'm good. What are you doing?

Her: nothing. Just watching TV

Me: let's have a sleepover. I miss you guys.

Her: I'm game.

Me: we will pick you up soon. Dress to go out ngoba we are gonna start at the
shisanyama

She agreed and hung up. I looked at Syanda and he gave me that "what?!" look.

Me: ngimfonele umuntu wakho (should I call your person)?

Sya: if you want to

Me: do you want me to? I don't want awkward moments mina

Him: call her

I called Noma and told her about the sleepover and the shisanyama and she agreed.
Nami dropped us off and went to pick up my friends. We ordered our meat and
drinks and just relaxed. The vibe was chilled. Lolz and Nomz arrived, we hugged.
Nami got them drinks.

Nami: majita guess who I just saw

Sya: thetha ndoda (talk man)

Nami: uyaykhumbula lacherry from high school (do you remember that girl from high
school)? uThando?

Sya: that light skinned chick ongemhle (that’s not pretty)?

Nami: lol yeah her. She is here with her friends. Her friends are flames bro

Me: yey wena ngizomtshela uPhiwe (I’m going to tell Phiwe)

Nami: I'm just looking at the menu. I'm not ordering

Laa: invite them to join us. I want to see these flames

Oh, wow and this guy is supposedly into me. Mxim at least he will leave me alone.
Nami waved at them and they came our way and I couldn't believe my eyes. Oh
gosh this Thando chick is the same chick that came to our table when I was out with
Atha last year. I really don't like this girl.

Thando: molweni guys

Us: hey

Her: I'm Thando, this is Khanyi and Aviwe

The rest of us introduced ourselves and she looked at me

Her: don't I know you?

Me: you don't know me but you've seen me somewhere

Her: oh, ja you are the chick that was with my hottie that other day

Me: you mean my boyfriend? Yeah that's me.

Aviwe: wait, you are Lwa? Nice to finally meet you. I've heard so much about you

I was now confused. I've never met this girl but she knows about me. She must have
noticed my confused look.

Avi: Athandwe is my cousin. He speaks very highly of you

I smiled

Me: nice to meet you too

Everyone vibed well with everyone and it turned out to be a fun night. Thando was
flirting with all the guys and they were all not interested. She is too forward shame.
My friends and I went to bathroom
Lolz: uyandidika gqithi laThando (Thando is annoying me). Ucinga uyitop dog la (she
thinks she is all of that)

Me: you could say that again girl. Wena Nomz did you and your man sort out your
problems?

Nomz: yeah, we did. Uxolisile (he apologised) and I forgave him

Me: oh good.

We went back to the others and enjoyed the night. Aviwe and I exchanged numbers
and we left. I didn't drink so I knew I'll wake up without any problems. My friends
were tipsy so Lolz took a bath and Nomz took a shower. I was going to shower after
them. My phone rang and it was Enzo.

Me: buddy

Enzo: bae

Me: unjani

Him: I'm good and you?

Me: I'm good

We chatted about the night I just had and our holidays.

Him: I miss you buddy

Me: I miss you too. I promise we will hangout a lot next semester

Him: you better keep that promise

Me: I will. Thanks for the call buddy bae

We hung up and I undressed to go take a shower. I showered and wore pyjamas. I

placed mattresses on the floor and we all slept on them. I love having my friends
over. Especially because I don't get to spend much time with them. My phone rang in
the middle of my sleep. I hate when people wake me up. I answered without looking
at the caller ID

Me: hmmmm

Atha: ulele (are you sleeping)?

Me: hmmmmm

Him: ulele (are you sleeping) Lwandile?

Me: yebo. Look at the time

Him: uxolo sthandwa sam (I’m sorry my love). I just got back from a night out and I
wanted to hear your voice before I sleep

Me: ok babe. I love you neh

Him: I love you more.

I passed out after that. I was woken up by Nomz and Lolz making a noise.

Me: ninomsindo nina ekseni kanje (you guys are so loud so early in the morning)

Nomz: its 11. Awuvuke (wake up)

Lolz: vuka nontombi. Silambile thina (wake up girl. We are hungry)

Me: I'm not cuddling with the kitchen on this mattress. You guys know where the
kitchen is

Lolz: vuka vuka (wakey wakey)

I stretched and yawned then got up. Washed my face and brushed my teeth. We
went downstairs and found the boys there. My mom was in the kitchen

Us: molo mama (morning)

Mom: yebo. There is breakfast in the oven. Help yourselves. Then go shower and
help me with Sunday lunch

Us: ok mom

We ate and did as we were told. The boys chilled by the pool area while we slaved
away in the kitchen. We made rice, grilled chicken, gravy, sweet potato, butternut,
creamed spinach and salads. By the time we were done, I was starving. The boys
set the table and we sat down. It felt good to be with my family and my friends. After
lunch my brother drove my friends home and Landile drove home with Sya and
Andy.
Insert 60

My bae finally came back from Cape Town. I couldn't wait to see him. Its been a
while. I was woken up by his call

Me: sthandwa seheart yami

Atha: my strawberry heart

Me: unjani?

Him: I miss you baby. Can I come see you?

Me: today?

Him: yeah. I'm going to my grandma's house and its an hour away from your hood.

Me: ok I will see you when you come

Him: ok. Can't wait to see you. I have a surprise for you

Me: I can't wait.

I hung up and stayed in bed. It was freezing and I wasn't planning on leaving my bed
until I have to. The parents and Nami were at work so it was just me, Phiwe and KK
in the house. I scrolled through my phone then I received a call from Asa. I wanted to
ignore it but I had to put him in his place

Me: hello

Asa: hey

*silence*

Me: khuluma phela (talk). You must have a reason for calling

Him: why did you ignore my calls? I wanted to see you while you were in Durban

Me: see me for what? Are you out of your mind? As a matter of fact, stop calling me.
We have nothing to say to each other. Respect my man, respect me and respect my
relationship

Him: I could never get used to that. But I can't do that. I want to see you. I just want
us to talk.
Me: we have nothing to talk about though. I have nothing to say to you

Him: I have a lot to say to you. Just give me a chance

Me: no thanks

I hung up and went back to playing with my phone and texting my people on
WhatsApp. Exes are really annoying guys. We can't be friends if we once dated. It
makes zero sense. Phiwe knocked on my door to tell me that breakfast is ready. I
washed my face and brushed my teeth. Wore my gown and slippers then walked
downstairs

Me: please don't tell me you made this breakfast because if your man finds out, I'm a
dead woman. Phela you are supposed to be taking it easy

Phiwe: lol nah it wasn't me. I asked sis' Ayanda (our house cleaner) to make it
because I knew you were not gonna get out of your room. Woyika amakhaza wena
(yu are scared of the cold)

Me: lol and there is no shame in that. I fear the cold ngempela

I sat down and we had our breakfast

Her: so, when do I get to meet the famous Atha. Rumor has it he is hot.

Me: lol rumor? You mean Lolz and Nomz. You will meet him today. He is coming by.
He isn't all that. I promise you. He is just a normal guy

Ahh who am I kidding? Atha is hot. He sent me a text saying he is about to leave his
grandma's house so I went upstairs and showered. I had no idea what to wear.
Phela I had to show bae that I didn't lose my fabulousness while he was away. I
called Enhle to get some fashion advice. Yho I don't even remember the last time I
spoke to her

Enhle: the friend that has deserted me

Me: I know I'm a horrible friend but I still love you. Unjani?

Her: ndiphilile wena unjani (I’m well, how are you)?

Me: ngiyaphila (I’m fine). I need fashion advice. Atha is coming to see me so I need
to look smashingly
Her: lol you guys have been together for more than a year and you are still acting
like new lovers. NiCute shame.

Me: lol I still can't believe that its been more than a year. Time flies ngempela. So,
friend help

Her: weather?

Me: freezing. So so cold

Her: ok sweatpants and a hoodie

Me: lol friend this is not the time to showcase your funny side.

Her: I'm kidding. Wear skinny jeans, long sleeve hooded top and a hoodie and a
beanie and knee-high boots

Me: ok I will send you a pic when I'm dressed. Love you friend and thank you

Her: stop being a stranger

I got dressed, put on eyeliner and mascara and wore purple matte lipstick. I was
trying something new and I hope he likes it. I went to Phiwe's room.

Me: sooooo how do I look?

Phiwe: wow you look smashing babe but substitute the hoodie for that black leather
jacket of yours.

Me: will do. Thank you. I changed the hoodie and went back to her room

Her: now he will be blown away. I love that lip color by the way.

Me: I'm trying something new here.

We talked until Atha called to say he is outside. I opened the gate for him and waited
at the door. We hugged so tightly and for the longest time. I didn't want to let go. I
wanted to take in his scent and just swim in it

Him: I missed you so much.

He gave me a box of chocolate and a gift bag. I smiled and found a T-shirt in the gift
bag. Such a cute tee.

Me: thank you love. I want to introduce you to someone before we go

Him: I can't take my eyes off you. You look amazing.

He grabbed my ass and I just laughed at him. Phiwe came downstairs

Me: Phiwe this is my boo. Baby this is Phiwe. Nami's girlfriend

Atha: nice to meet you

Phiwe: nice to meet you too. Seems like the rumors were true

Phiwe and I burst out laughing. My poor boyfriend was left out. He gave me a look

Me: its an inside joke sthandwa sam. Let's go

Him: lol I wonder. Iphi intwana yam uKK (where is my laaitie)

I shouted KK's name and he came running downstairs. He fist bumped Atha and
Atha gave him R50

Me: and what's that for?

Atha: its your lobola

Me: lol you think you are funny? UsuwuTrevor Noah manje wena (you are Trevor
Noah now)?

Him: asambe (let’s go) maHadebe

He said goodbye to Phiwe and we left.

Me: siyaphi (where are we going)?

Him: I can't tell you because you will refuse for us to go there.

Me: heeeh I wonder. Am I gonna like this surprise?

Him: maybe.

He drove for about an hour and arrived at a house. The moment he parked his car, a
girl came running to the car. I had a feeling this was his grandma's house but I was
hoping he was not planning on introducing me to his family so soon. I'm not ready

Me: where are we?

Before he answered, Aviwe came out the house and I knew my suspicions were
correct
Atha: we are at my grandma's house. I want you to meet my family

Me: I'm not ready baby. What if they don't like me? I'm scared

Him: they will love you. I love you and they will love you too. Uzobona (you will see).
Asambe (let’s go).

Me: no. I'm not going in there.

Aviwe got in the backseat and greeted us. We responded

Atha: Avi khawthethe nalomuntu (please talk to this person). I want to introduce her
to umakhulu nomakazi (grandma and our aunts) but she doesn't want to.
Insert 61

Avi: khawphume Athandwe. Awuncokole noLihle. Ndifuna ukthetha noLwa (get out
Athandwe. Go talk to Lihle. I want to talk to Lwa)

Atha got out the car and Avi jumped in the driver's seat. I looked down and played
with my hands

Avi: I know you must be scared but it won't be that bad. My family is pretty chilled.
They all know about you. They just want to put a face to the good things they've
heard

Me: what if they don't like me? What if they think I'm not good enough for Atha
because I'm not Xhosa

Avi: give them a chance before you judge them. Ndiyakcela (please)

Me: ok fine but just walk in with us. I'm scared ngempela

She held my hand and Atha walked in with us. Guys my heart was racing. I've never
met any of my boyfriends' families before. This was a big thing for me. We walked in
and found 3 women in the kitchen

Them: molweni (hello)

Us: molweni (hello)

One of the women showed us the chairs and we sat around the table.

Atha: makhulu nomakazi. NguLwandile Hadebe lo. Lwa ngumakhulu wami lona
nomakazi bami. Ngumakazi uZintle lo and ngumakazi uChuma lo (grandma and
aunts this is Lwandile Hadebe.Lwa this is my grandma and my aunts. This is aunt
Zintle and aunt Chuma).

Omakazi: siyavuyela ukukwazi nontombi (we are happy to meet you)

Me: nami ngiyajabula ukunazi (I’m also happy to meet you)

Makhulu: uyintombi yomzulu (you are a Zulu girl)?

Me: yebo gogo (yes granny)

Makhulu: kuhle ukukwazi nontombi (its nice to meet you)

They asked a few light questions and got to know me. I tried to relax guys but I just
couldn't. Omakazi (the aunts) made us lunch and we ate. I think they liked me.

Makhulu: kalok uzasvakashela nini futhi Ntombi (when are you going to visit us
again)?

Me: angaz gogo kodwa ngizobuya. Ngiyabonga ukungamukela ngezandla

ezifudumele (I don’t know granny, I will see. Thank you for the warm welcome)

We said bye to the elders and went to chill in the room with his cousins

Atha: baby this is Siviwe, Lubabalo, Lihle and this little cutie here is Sibusisiwe. Guys
this is my future wife, Lwa.

I smiled and waved at them. He is really close with his cousins. He is happier when
he is here than when he is home with his parents

Avi: Lwa do you have that cute guy's number? The one with the gorgeous smile

Me: lol usho uLandile (you are talking about Landile)?

Her: yeah him. Do you have his numbers?

Me: yeah

I gave her the number. I wasn't even an ounce jealous. This will give Landile a
chance to focus on someone else and forget about me. I don't need anymore drama
in my relationship. I've had enough of the fights. Enough is enough.

At 4 we decided to leave. We said goodbye to everyone and hit the road

Atha: so, are you mad at me or did you like the surprise?

Me: I'm not mad at you. The surprise was pretty ok. I like your family and I hope they
liked me

Him: are you kidding? They loved you. Especially my grandma. She even told me
that I should marry you ASAP to ensure that you don't run away

Me: lol seriously? That's funny

Him: thank you for today babe. I know it wasn't easy for you but it was important to
me and you took one for the team. Ndyakthanda vha (I love you)
Me: ndyakthanda nami (I love you too)

Him: lol that's cute. Do you want to get anything before I take you home?

Me: zinger wings babe.

Him: you eat too much wings nawe. You know they sell other things at KFC apart
from wings and box master, right?

Me: ok wings and a mini twister ke

Him: ai I give up mna. You defeat me

We drove to KFC and got the wings, twister and virgin mojito. He then drove to the
park and we chilled there

Him: I missed you so much babe and Cape Town is cold. I had to go to bed with a
boner every night.

Me: lol I didn't have it easy either. I was having all sorts of inappropriate dreams
about you. We need to solve this.

Him: lol lol really? Tell me about those dreams

Me: hell no. When will we get a chance to get down to business.

Him: andaz yaz (I don’t know) baby. I won't have sex with you in your parents' house
and I won't have sex with you at some random house. You are my future wife not
some booty call.

Me: so, it will be when school opens. Yho kwaze kwakude (it’s so far). I will be dead
by then

I know I was being dramatic but I missed my man guys. I missed the things he does
to me and the things he makes me feel.

Him: let me take you home before you tempt me into taking you in this car

Me: lol that wouldn't be a bad idea. Babe can I ask you something?

Him: sure

Me: have you ever been tempted to cheat on me? I know its a weird question but I
want to know
Him: no. It hasn't happened. I'm not saying it won't happen because I don't know the
future but so far there hasn't been a woman that has made me look at them in
anyway close to the way I look at you. That's the absolute truth

Me: ok babe. I believe you

I really did believe him. I know he is crazy about me and I'm crazy about him too.

Him: would you forgive me if I cheated on you?

Me: I won't answer that. I have my reasons. I have to tell you something and please
don't be mad.

Him: I'm not gonna make any promises

Me: eish ok. The day we got drunk with my friends and Nami's friends, Landile
kissed me. I backed away from the kiss and gave him a piece of my mind

*silence*

Me: babe I'm sorry. I know I could have avoided it and I didn't

Him: I'm not mad. You backed away from it and it meant nothing right?

Me: it meant absolutely nothing. I promise babe.

Him: anything else you want to tell me?

Me: hmmm well Asa called

Him: did you tell him where to get off as well?

Me: yep and I blocked his number

Him: good girl. I don't need shady people around my babe.

We kissed a long and passionate kiss. I broke the kiss when I felt myself getting
horny

Me: let's go

Him: lol you are feeling some type of way manje?

He drove me home. We hugged and kissed then I got out the car.
Insert 62

Last weekend of holidays came and I wanted to spend it with my friends and my
family. It was mid July so nje the coldness was on some other level. Winter is such
an inconvenience if you want to hangout and do fun things. Luckily for Nami and I,
we had the house to ourselves because the parents took KK back to boarding school
and will come back tomorrow night. I got out of bed, washed my face and brushed
my teeth. I wore my gown and slippers then went downstairs to make food. I made
cinnamon French toast with bacon and cheese then I made myself coffee. I ate my
breakfast until I was interrupted by a buzz at the gate. I answered the intercom and
opened the gate and the door for Nomz and Syanda.

Me: do you guys live together now?

Nomz went straight to the kitchen and poured herself and her man juice and they
joined me by the dining room

Sya: we don't live together. Landile just dropped us off. He is going to fetch Lolo and
Andile and bring them here.

I was so confused as to why people are being brought here so early in the day. It
wasn't even 10 yet

Me: what's going on?

Nomz: we are having a chillas and sleepover here today. We have a lot to do that's
why we are here early.

Me: a lot like what?

Sya: buying meat, alcohol, coal, getting music, inviting people and apparently you
girls want to shop and do your hair.

Me: this is true. I had completely forgotten about it.

I rinsed my plate and my mug then Nomz and I went upstairs so I can shower

Nomz: chomi Atha is coming right?

Me: angaz yaz. Let me call him

Nomz: put him on loudspeaker

The phone rang for a while then he eventually answered

Atha: mabhebeza

Me: morning boo

Him: unjani?

Me: I'm good and wena

Him: I'm cold and horny babe. Let's go back to Bloemfontein now. I miss doing things
to you

Nomz started cracking up

Me: lol behave please. You are on speaker and I'm not alone

Him: lol oho its the truth tho.

Me: lol what are you doing today? I miss you.

Him: I have to take Avi to a chillas then I'm doing nothing.

Me: join us for the chillas as well. Bring clothes to change neh

Him: alright. I will see you then

We hung up and I went to shower. I moisturized my body then wore black jeggings,
long sleeved white T-shirt and a black bodywarmer and army boots. Put on labello
and combed my hair and tied it into a bun. While I was getting ready, Lolz walked in

Me: chomam

Lolz: chomi nama friends

We hugged

Nomz: so how are we getting to the mall and how are we coming back?

Me: I think Nami or Landile will take us

Nomz: or Atha could take us. I want to meet this man of yours already

Me: lol he will fetch us ke

We went downstairs and found Andy, Landile, Nami, Phiwe and Syanda.
Nami: you guys look nice

Us: thank you

Me: so, who is driving us to the mall?

Sya: a cab

Me: hahaha very funny.

Nami: drive my car.

Me: I don't want to drive. Landile please take us to eMall

Laa: ok but I won't be able to fetch y'all. We are going out of town to get meat and
booze.

Nomz: we have a ride for when we come back anyway.

We got up to leave

Nami: Lwa did you invite Atha?

Nomz: of course, she did.

Me: who else is coming?

Nami: Avi, Thando and Khanyi

Nomz: does that Thando girl have to be there? Unescefe ugirl shame

Lolz: uyadika nyan (she is really annoying)

Nami: if her friends come then she will come

Me: mxm guys let's go. Nami please ca-

Nami: its already in your account

I hugged him and kissed his cheek

Me: thanks bro.

Laa drove us to the mall and we went to do our hair. I settled for a long black weave
with blonde tips, Nomz went with a blonde short weave and Lolz went with box
braids. We were done with our hair at around 2. We looked exquisite shame. No lie
there

Lolz: I'm hungry guys. Let's get lunch

Nomz: spur?

Me: ai I'm over spur. Let's go to panarotti's. I'm craving pasta

We had lunch and the conversation was brewing.

Lolz: guys I think I'm gonna lose my virginity to Andile tonight

Nomz: you still have that? What were you keeping it for?

Me: lol Nomalanga Kekane yini ngawe kodwa? I think its a good thing that you still
have it.

Nomz: ai suka good thing for what? Imagine going through the pain of losing it. Ai
shame never again

Lolz: vele never again because you won't get it back. Anyway, I'm scared Lwa. What
if he breaks up with me afterwards? What if we don't end up getting married? What if
it hu-

Nomz: lol this is hilarious. You think you guys are going to get married? Ai girl come
on. Don't think too far ahead. Live for the moment.

Lolz was a bit disappointed shame. I could tell she had the whole fairytale idea in her
head. But when you have a friend like Noma, you will be brought back to reality
faster than you can find your feet.

Me: chomam don't mind this crazy girl. Anything could happen. You and Andile might
get married one day. Just take it one day at a time and you will be fine. Guys ngifuna
ibar-one shake yaseWimpy or eyaseSpur

Nomz: wena namacravings akho (you and your cravings). Did Atha score a penalty
lakuwe?

Me: what penalty manje (now)?

Nomz: did he get you pregnant?

Me: lol hell no. No one is pregnant la

We went to wimpy and I got the shake as a take away and then we went to Identity
to look for outfits for tonight. Identity was a let down as always so we went to Cotton
on then moved to other shops. I bought black high rise ripped jeans, a black and
gold long sleeved crop top and white lacoste sneakers. Yho those sneakers dented
my bank account shame. My friends both bought dresses. Dresses in winter are a
no-no for me.

Me: we are done right? I'm tired guys and its already almost 5.

Lolz: nami ndidiniwe guys. Khawfonele umuntu wakho (I’m also tired. Call your man)

I called Atha and Avi answered

Avi: hello my sugar plum

Me: lol the craziness runs in the family I see.

Her: unjani babe?

Me: I'm good and you? Nikuphi (where are you guys)?

Her: I'm good love. We are heading towards your town. Nikuphi nina (where are you
guys)?

Me: at the mall. Please ask that cousin of yours to pick us up

Atha: andisanagama ngok mna (I don’t have aname now)?

Me: hey baby boo.

Him: don't baby boo me. Stand by the entrance and I will pick you guys up in 5mins

Me: alright. There are 3 of us neh

I hung up and we waited. He got to us in less then 5mins. The moment Nomz and
Lolz saw the car, they looked at me. I just laughed

Lolz: we will discuss this later. We really will

Avi got out of the front seat so I can get in

Me: don't get off. I will sit at the back with my friends
Avi: are you sure?

Me: I'm sure lovie

I got in at the back and Atha drove off. I did the intro's

Me: baby these are my besties, Noma and Lolo. Guys this is my boo Atha

Nomz: asimboni kahle (we can’t see him properly) because he is facing the other
direction. We will see him when we get off the car

Atha: lol but those can't be your real names

Me: lol you like to be technical Athandwe. Its Nomalanga and Lolothando

Atha: that's better.

By the time we got home it was almost dark and the guys were back
Insert 63

Sya: finally, you guys grace us with your presence. Kunini sinlindile (we’ve been
waiting for you)

Me: howu nislinde nani nje (why were you waiting for us). Angithi you guys didn't
want to fetch us

I introduced Atha to my brother and his friends and he chilled with them in the braai
area while us girls chilled in the kitchen.

Lolz: ok I can't keep this in anymore. Lwa what does your man do for a living
exactly? Because that car is the one hey

By the way Atha drives an A45 AMG. That car attracts a lot of attention especially
from gold digging girls like Thando

Me: lol ask Avi. He is her cousin

Lolz: hayi kalok ndibuza wena chomi (I’m asking you)

Me: he is a student just like me and you

Lolz: ai cha his parents need to adopt me.

Me: Avi can I ask you a question? Don't be offended please

Avi: shoot

Me: what's with your friend Thando? That girl is too much. How are you even friends
with her?

Avi: I get that quite a lot. She is just a determined person. When she wants
something, she won't stop until she gets it. That's why she is still hung up on Atha.
Guys don't reject her because she opens her legs a lot.

Me: manje doesn't that give you a bad reputation as well?

Avi: it does but akezwa tu lamntana (she is stubborn). So Khanyi and I just leave her

Lolz: if mna bendinechomi ephambana ngalohlobo ngabe ndambetha kakade.

Andizwan nempambano mna (if I had such a crazy friend, I’d beat the craziness out
of her. I’m not a fan of madnesss)
We got to know each other a little more and we bonded. Phiwe later joined us.
Everyone was just excited about her tummy. They all kept rubbing it and feeling the
baby kick. Nami and Landile walked in. It could have been my imagination but for a
moment there I think I saw Aviwe blushing

Nami: khanenze ipapa phela (please make pap). Its too cold for rolls. Papa
nechakalaka

Phiwe: ok we will

Nami: no, you won't. You should be sitting down and nina Lwa give Phiwe a break

Me: so, we must make pap?

Nami: yeah

Laa: ngicela ukukhuluma nawe kancane (can I speak to you for a bit)

Me: ok. Let's go to the lounge ke

We went to the lounge and sat down

Laa: dude this is hard for me. Its one thing to know you have a boyfriend and its
another to see him and see you with him.

Me: so, what do you want me to say about that? Ufunani kimi Landile (what do you
want from me)?

Him: ngifuna wena (I want you). I've told you countless times. Ufuna ngenzeni (what
do you want me to do) Kanti to show you that I want you?

Me: look, Aviwe is into you. Pursue her because if Atha finds me here with you I'm
gonna be in trouble. We will talk later neh

Him: shap

I went back to the kitchen and we started cooking and there was already music
playing outside. We had our bottle of wine and the vibe was buzzing. Aviwe doesn't
drink so she was drinking red bull. After cooking, Lolz and Nomz went to shower and
I stayed with Avi and Phiwe

Phiwe: and what was that talk about?

Avi: ewe nami ndifuna ukuyazi leyo ( yes I also want to know)

Me: nothing much. He was just asking me about you Avi

I knew that lie was going to get me in trouble at some point but I was willing to risk it.
Avi is really into Landile. He is dumb not to see it and she is gorgeous guys. My
crazy friends finished showering and I went up to shower then we all went outside to
the guys. I sat on Atha's lap, Lolz sat on Andy's lap and Nomz sat on Sya's lap. Avi
sat next to Landile and Phiwe sat with Nami. As we were enjoying the vibe and the
food, guess who walks in making so much noise for no reason? Yep Thando

Thando: hello hello hello

I was surprised as to who gave her the directions to our house but I didn't care. She
grabbed a bottle of Savannah and sat on top of Landile.

Khanyi: hey guys

We all greeted back and she sat down. Kwavele kwamuncu nje (the atmosphere
turned sour) after Thando got there. Even Aviwe was annoyed.

Thando: aw what's wrong with you guys? Lighten up. Niyagodola (are you guys
cold)?

No one responded then she started grinding on Landile and Laa pushed her off and
she fell flat on her bum. Everyone burst into laughter. Not just laughing but laughing
at pointing at her.

Thando: nxa this is why is don't like little boys with little penises. NiChildish gqith
(y’all are all childish)

Nobody cared about what she had to say, we laughed at her. Later Phiwe went of to
bed and then Thando jumped on my brother and shoved her tongue down his throat.
My brother doesn't play guys. He pushed her and gave her a hard slap

Nami: ndizakbetha unye sfebe ndini. Andisiyo ichom yakho mna (I’ll fuck you up, you
bitch. I’m not your friend)

If this girl doesn't leave now ngizombona ukuthi ustrong. That slap from Nami made
her sober shame and we heard nothing from her for the rest of the night. My bae and
I were so cosy. We were in our own little universe but we were not kissing because
at the end of the day I still had to respect my brother and my parents' house.

Sya: guys let's play a game. We ask each other questions and we have to answer
them honestly.

Me: as long you guys don't ask us boring things

Andy: sho

Sya explained the rules and he offered to start. The thing about drunk people is that
they can't lie. So, this game could end badly.

Sya: ok I have a question for Andy. When last did you get laid?

Andy: if I can't answer the question, then what must happen?

Sya: you take a shot

Lolz was looking at Andy waiting for the answer and he opted for a shot instead.
What did that mean? Does that mean he has been getting some else where? Lolz
was not please. I could tell from her facial expression

Andy: I have a question for Atha...have you ever cheated on Lwa?

My brother was the first one to look at Atha

Atha: nah I've never cheated on her and most probably I never will

Lolz: good. We need more boyfriends like Atha. Who answer questions and don't
chicken out and take shots

We knew that Andy was now in trouble

Atha: Landile, have you ever kissed someone else's girlfriend and you knew that
person had a boyfriend

I knew that question was bound to come up. Laa shot me a look and I looked the
other direction.

Laa: yes, I have. It wa-

Atha: suchaza fondin (don’t explain bruh). That yes was enough

My boyfriend wasn't feeling Landile one bit but who could blame him?
Laa: Lwa have you ever cheated on Atha?

Me: yeah, I have. It was a forced kiss

Laa: ungachazi (don’t explain). Uyoze uqambe amanga (you’ll end up lying)

This game was getting heated. It went on until Thando got a chance to ask a
question

Thando: Atha have you ever seen my boobs and touched my honey pot?

What the fuck was this now? I know about her taking her top off but I don't know
about boobs being seen and honey pots being touched. Atha hesitated to answer. I
didn't want to show that I was getting pissed off

Atha: yeah, I have bu-

Me: don't explain.

I got up and ran upstairs to my room. I needed to clear my head kancane. Why
would Atha tell me half a story if he is innocent? Innocent people don't hide things
Insert 64

Angaz noma (I don’t know whether) Atha goes out of his way to hurt me on purpose
or does he do it as his way to test how far my patience goes. I was not just angry but
I was humiliated as well. I cried my eyes out. I heard knocks and voices outside my
door but I didn't want to open. I felt my heart breaking because I love this guy with all
my heart but he continues to hurt me. The knocks stopped and I just cried into my
pillow. I didn't want to hold anything in so I just let it all out. I heard a soft knock on
my door

Atha: baby please open so I can explain

Me: I don't want your explanation. Leave me alone

Him: I'm not going anywhere until you give me a chance to explain to you.
Ndiyakcela maHadebe wam omuhle (please my beautiful MaHadebe). Ndicela uvule
(please open the door)

Me: you are wasting your breath. I'm not going to open for you

Him: ok then. I'm gonna sit outside your door until you change your mind

I must have passed out because when I woke it was 4:15AM. The music was still
playing and I could still hear voices from outside. I was thirsty so I went downstairs.
When I opened my door, Atha was still sitting there. He wasn't asleep, he was just
chilling there. He stood up

Atha: baby ple-

Me: get in. Ngiyabuya (I’ll be back)

I went to get myself a glass of water and I bumped into my brother. Great. He is not
the person I want to see right now

Nami: ugrand (you good)?

Me: yeah

Him: are you sure? Do I need to beat someone up?

Me: I'm sure and no one is getting a beating. I can handle it

Him: ok sis
He gave me a hug and kissed my forehead. Then Landile walked in. I attempted
walking away but he pulled me

Laa: are yo-

Me: don't

I yanked my hand away and went back upstairs with my glass of water. I found Atha
sitting on my bed. I sat down next to him then there was silence. I could sense that
he wanted to speak but he didn't know what to say

Atha: were you crying?

I didn't answer. Tears started forming in my eyes and they rolled down my cheeks.
He attempted holding me but I moved away.

Him: baby its not what you think. Please just give me a chance to explain

Me: you mean I should give you a chance to lie to me again? Ngiright ngamanga
akho (I’ve had enough of your lies) Athandwe. Ngiright nje kakhulu

Him: khawume fondin. Ndcela undmamele kalok (hold on.please just listen to me)

Me: hmmmm

Him: firstly, I never slept with Thando. I've never done anything with her. I swear.
She grabbed my hand while I was driving and put it on her pussy and she was
wearing underwear. I swear baby

Me: and the boobs?

Him: I told you she took off her top in my car. I told her to put her clothes back on but
she wouldn't listen

Me: did she turn you on? Did you want to f**k her? Don't lie to me

Him: no. Her behavior was slutty. I don't get turned on by sluts

I wanted to believe him but what if he is lying? I need to stop being so insecure and
trust my boyfriend. There will always be girls like Thando in the world and I have to
trust in his love for me.
Him: I love you so much baby and if I could open my heart for you to see all the love
I have for you and how I'd never hurt you then you would understand the type of man
I am and what I feel for you. I want you and only you. If you don't believe anything I
say, that's the least you could believe

I wanted his touch and embrace. I wanted to feel his arms around me. I placed my
head on his chest and he held me tightly. We sat there in silence.

Atha: I don't like it when you cry. Especially when I'm the reason behind your tears.

I didn't respond. I just sat there and took in his scent

Him: baby

Me: hmmmm

Him: ndicela uxolo (I’m sorry)

Me: ok

Him: you need stop running away though

I was lost

Me: running away? Ukhuluma ngani (what are you talking about)?

Him: ndithetha ngalewei yakho yokungafuni uthetha nami xa unomsindo (I’m talking
about this thing of running away whenever you are angry). Yes, I will always run after
you but I shouldn't have to all the time. Thetha nami at all times

Yena he had a point shame. I react before I think. All the time and its not a good
thing

Me: ngizozama (I’ll try)

I wanted to go back downstairs to my friends but I wasn't sure how they reacted after
I left. I wore bae's jacket and we went back downstairs. The moment my friends saw
me, they came to me and pulled me to the kitchen.

Lolz: umlahlile (you broke up with him)?

Me: nah I didn't. We talked it through and he told me what happened

Nomz: what did happen?

I told them and it was like a new level of hate for Thando was unleashed.

Lolz: nxa esasfebe sinethamsanqa (that bitch is lucky) that she left. Ngabe
ndiyosbetha (I’d be going to beat her) now and slap the slutiness out of her

Me: she left?

Lolz: yeah. Uhambiswe nguNami (Nami kicked her out). Yena nefriend yakhe.
LaKhanyi. Avi ukhona (her and her friend Khanyi. Avi is still here)

Me: good riddance to bad rubbish. Well that doesn't apply to Khanyi

Nomz: but ushap wena (you good) chomi?

Me: yeah, I'm good now. Is there still any wine left?

Lolz: of course

We went back to the rest of the people

Sya: senigqibile ngok nalegossip yenu (are you done now with your gossip)?

Nomz: gossip yani?

Lolz: suthetha into ongayaziyo fondin (don’t talk about things you know nothing
about). Sela labeer (drink your beer) and leave us alone

My brother and Landile kept looking at me and then at each other and it was
irritating. If they have something to say then they should speak up instead of that
nonsense they are doing. I ignored them and drank my wine. Before we knew it, the
sun was coming up and that was our cue to go sleep. I was tired and sleepy

Nami: Lolz, Nomz and Lwa will sleep in the Lwa's room. Sya and Atha you guys can
sleep in my room and Laa and Andy can sleep in the guest room next to Lwa's room.
Avi, you can sleep in the other guest room

Me: you can't let Avi sleep by herself

Nami: what do you suggest ke because I don't want couples sleeping together. This
is my parents' house and not a brothel.

Me: Avi can sleep in my room. On the bed. We sleep on mattresses anyway

Him: ok cool. Let's try to wake up early guys so we can clean up and stuff.
Nami left for Phiwe's room and everyone scattered to where they would be sleeping.
As I was getting into my pyjamas and getting ready to sleep. There was a knock on
my door.

Lolz: ungbani and ufuna nton (who is it and what do you want)?

The person didn't answer so I went to open the door. It was Atha so I stepped
outside the room

Atha: I wanted to steal a goodnight kiss.

We shared a short but sweet kiss and a tight hug

Atha: goodnight my chocolate chip

Me: lol goodnight baby

I went back into the room and all eyes were on me

Me: and then?

Lolz: niyadika naloAtha wakho (you and your Atha are annoying). You make us feel
bad for dating guys that don't do sweet things

Me: speaking of guys, did you and Andy talk?

Lolz: nope but tomorrow ndim naye.

Me: lol and Avi did you make progress with Laa?

Nomz: with Laa? isn't he in lov-

Me: Nomz chill.

Avi: yeah. Sort of. We are going out for lunch ngomso. Undxelele ukba sizawthetha
kulolunch (he told me that we will talk during the lunch)

Me: that's good. Progress

Nomz: be careful of Landile Aviwe. Yinyoka gqithi leya (he is a real snake).
Uzawbona amaKruger (you will see flames) because of that guy.

Avi: I will look after myself. Thanks for the heads up

We all retired to dream land. I was woken up by the sweet smell of good breakfast. I
washed my face, brushed my teeth then attempted leaving the room but Avi woke up
before I left. She did her hygiene process then we went downstairs and found the
boys with lots of food on the table. I'm talking pancakes, Russians, bacon, eggs,
fries, French toast and toasted bread. I didn't ask any questions and I dug in.

Me: Nami where did these things come from? It tastes so good
Insert 65

Nami: we know our way around the kitchen.

I saw a Woolworths plastic and just laughed to myself

Me: you know your way around Woolies as well I see

Nami: lol just eat. Where are your friends?

Me: still sleeping. Where is my boyfriend? Please don't tell me you guys killed him in
his sleep

Nami: lol you need to stop being so dramatic

Sya: he went to town with Landile

I'm sure I heard incorrectly. I better have heard incorrectly

Me: askies

Sya: ungzwile nje (you heard me)

I went upstairs to find my phone and called him

Atha: baby

Me: ukuphi (where are you)?

Him: ndiyeza (I’m coming)

Me: unobani (who are you with)?

Him: I'm with Landile. We are getting more food. Relax

Me: hmmmm ok

I hung up and woke Lolz and Nomz up. They didn't want to wake up but I forced
them

Lolz: khawume ngalekaka yakho. Ndfuna uklala mna (stop with your shit. I want to
sleep)

Nomz: shhhh guys its way too early for lekaka yenu (with your shit)

Me: lol well there is food downstairs and if you sleep now, you will miss out
Food is the key to waking up anyone. They stretched and yawned then did their
hygiene process. We all went downstairs. I was already full so I just had juice.

Andy: let's agree never to invite that Thando chick to any of our chillas. She has
unnecessary drama

Lolz: I agree with you lapho

Me: but guys did you see the slap Nami gave her. Yho it made her sober same time
lol

We all laughed

Nomz: lol but iqale ngoLandile lento (this thing started with Landile). The way he
threw her on the floor. Ai she will never forget last night.

Avi: lol aibo guys that's my friend kalok

Me: lol you laughed at her as well.

Atha and Laa walked in with more food and everyone dug in. He came and gave me
a hug and kissed my forehead. I could feel Landile's eyes burning on us but I didn't
care. After eating we cleaned the house and it took us forever. Phela we had to get
rid of any evidence that shows we had a chillas. When we were done with the house,
we all took showers and just chilled out. There was a bit of tension in the air.
Between Lolz and Andy and between me and Laa.

Atha: baby, Avi and I need to get going.

Me: ahh already?

Him: yeah. Guys thanks for having us over. I had fun

Avi: me too.

Laa: hopefully we can do it again in the future

Atha: sho sho

I walked them out. I was sad that bae was leaving but ke I was seeing him again
tomorrow since we are going back to school. I hugged Avi and she got in the car.
Bae and I shared a hug and a kiss
Atha: ndiyakthanda baby (I love you)

Me: nami ngiyakthanda (I love you too)

Him: I will call you when I get home

We hugged again and I went back into the house. Lolz and Andy were outside
sorting out their mess and Phiwe and Nami were cuddling on the couch.

Me: where is the other couple?

Nami: in my room. I don't even want to know what they are doing in there

Me: and uphi uLandile (where is Landile)?

There was silence

Me: uhm guys uphi uLandile (where is Landile)?

Nami: in your room

Me: in my...what?

I rushed upstairs and found him chilling calmly on my bed. I stood at the door and
looked at him

Me: ufunani lana (what are you doing here)?

Him: I just want to talk. Please

I got in and sat on my chair and looked at him

Him: I spoke to your boyfriend and he wants me to keep my distance from you but I
can't do that. I will stop bugging you but I'm not going to stop loving you

Me: angikthandi Landile (I don’t love you). Nangu uAviwe (there is). She is into you.

Him: I know and I'm taking her out for lunch later. I shall see how it goes but you will
always have my heart

He gave me a baby kiss and walked out. I didn't allow him to mess with my head. I
chilled in my room until Lolz barged in and banged the door

Me: ai chomi I still need that door

She was pissed shame

Me: and now?

Lolz: that son of a bitch cheated on me. Several times actually and then he has the
nerve to say its my fault. Thank the lord I didn't lose my virginity to him. He is such
an asshole

Me: ok friend tone it down with the cursing. So, you broke up with him?

Her: of course, I broke up with him. I deserve better than this shame.

Me: are you ok?

Her: I'll be fine chomi. Its just a guy. Not the end of the world

Lolz is one of those people that try hard not to show any emotions. I know she is hurt
by Andile's cheating but I'm not going to push her to talk.

Lolz: is there any wine left?

Me: I don't know hey. Let's go ask downstairs

Downstairs we found everyone finishing the last of the alcohol. Nomz was sitting with
a half empty bottle of wine. I didn't want to drink but clearly my friends were in the
mood.

Later everyone left and my parents came back. There was no sign that anything had
happened last night. Before I went to bed I told my parents I'm leaving the next day
then I went to pack. Packing is so draining. My phone rang while I was packing

Me: Sedi babe

Sedi: roomza when are you coming back?

Me: tomorrow lovie

Her: can't wait. I've missed you.

Me: I miss you too

We hung up and I finished packing then slept. I woke up early the next day because I
was leaving for bloem at 8. I took a shower and brushed my teeth then went
downstairs. My brother and my parents were getting ready for work. I made myself
muesli and yogurt with fruit pieces.
Dad: uhamba ngaskhathi sini (what time are you leaving)?

Me: manje ngo 8 baba (now at 8 dad)

Mom: uhamba ngani (how will you leave)?

Me: nghamba noAthandwe (I’m leaving with Athandwe)

Dad: I will send you money later

Mom: me too. Have a safe trip my baby and call me when you arrive.

She kissed my cheek and my dad kissed my forehead and they left

Nami: I'm not sending you any money. You spent way too much of my money these
holidays. I will send you money on your birthday.

Me: lol its fine. I'm gonna miss you yaz

Him: me too little sis. Take care of yourself and call me when you get to bloem. I love
you

Me: I love you too bro

We hugged and he kissed my forehead. I went to Phiwe's room to say goodbye. I

knocked and she told me to come in

Me: I'm about to leave. Please take care of my little niece and I should be the first
person you call when she arrives

Phiwe: lol I will call you the moment I get my first contraction

We hugged and I went to wait for bhut' bae in the lounge. He called to tell me he is
outside. I grabbed my bag and we left. We arrived in bloem at 2PM

Atha: uhamba nami or should I drop you off at res?

Me: drop me off at res. I want to unpack and nap. I'm tired

Him: but babe. I haven't been with you since Durban

Me: eish yah neh and that was a long time ago. Let's start at res though so I can
leave my bag
He did that and we went to his flat. I opened the windows and the sliding door so
fresh air can come in

Atha: are you hungry?

Me: kancane (a bit)

Him: lol your answers though. Let me order pizza

We chilled on the couch while waiting for the pizza and I was slowly falling asleep. I
must have passed out because when I opened my eyes I was on his bed. He must
have carried me. I was still sleepy so I took off my jeans and my bra and went back
to sleep. I must have been having a naughty dream because I felt myself getting wet.
I slowly opened my eyes and realized that Atha was going down on me while I slept

Me: hmmmmm baby

Atha: hey sleepy head

He went back to what he was doing and we had 3 hot and steamy rounds. We
cuddled naked on the bed and bonded

Him: I missed you

Me: I missed you too babe. That was amazing but now I'm hungry

Him: there is pizza in the kitchen. Wake me up in an hour neh

I baby kissed him, wore my underwear and his T-shirt then went to warm up my
pizza and made coffee. I ate while watching VUZU under a blankie on the couch. We
didn't use a condom but I wasn't worried because my periods ended a week ago so I
wasn't ovulating. Well I didn't think I was. After an hour and a half, I went to wake
bae up. I planted kisses all over his face and he slowly opened his eyes and smiled

Atha: uyandhlupha fondin. Kuthen wandipenda ngamathe (you stress me out. Why
are you licking me)

Me: lol you said I should wake you up

Him: Lol not by wetting my face tho

He rolled me over and kissed me. I broke the kiss

Me: let's go take a shower

Him: yeah let's go

We showered and had a wet round in the shower. He ate the rest of the pizza then
drove me back to res and parked outside and we chilled a bit in the car

Him: babe I didn't use a condom

Me: I know

Him: I will get the pills at the pharmacy at medi-clinic now

Me: you don't have to. I'm not ovulating so nothing will happen

Him: I'd rather be safe than sorry sthandwa sam. I will be back in 30mins

We baby kissed and I walked to my room. I found Sedi watching something on her
laptop.

Sedi: rooooomza

Me: lol someone missed me

Her: I did. I bought you food. Its on your desk.

Me: thank you roomie

We caught up about our holidays and she told me that her and Thabiso are dating
now and that Lunga still wants me

Me: I'm not interested. He isn't my type

Her: otlaba strong (you shall be strong)

Babe called to tell me he is outside and I went and took the pills. I drank them the
moment I got to my room. I called my brother and my parents to let them know I
arrived safely then I called Lolz just to check up on her. Bae called to say goodnight
and I slept.
Insert 66

The day before my birthday came and I was woken up by abdominal craps. I went to
the bathroom and I had started my period. I took a shower, wore my pyjamas again
then took 4 painkillers just so they can knock me out. I slept for a good 3hrs then I
was woken up by a call

Me: hmmmm

Atha: ulele?

Me: yeah

Atha: why? Its the middle of the day

Me: period pains

Him: askies Nana. Do you need anything?

Me: nah not really. I'll be fine babe

Him: ok I'll see you later. Get better soon

Me: thanks

I tried sleeping again but my sleep was gone. The pain was also gone but I chose to
stay in bed. I was moody so I didn't want to be around people. I got up to make a
banana, peanut butter and syrup sandwich and coffee. I ate in bed and then watched
Grey's anatomy on my laptop. Atha called again

Me: babe

Atha: pack an overnight bag, I'm coming to pick you up

Me: ai for what manje(now)? I don't want to go anywhere

Him: stop being difficult please

Me: mxm ok fine ke

I packed a bag and he picked me up. In the car I was quiet and he didn't say
anything as well. We got to the flat and I went straight to his room and threw myself
on the bed

Atha: and then?

Me: ngiktshelile ukuthi angifuni ukuza lana (I told you that I don’t want to come here)

Him: you don't want to spend time with me now?

Me: ai don't make this about you

He surrendered and walked out the room. I wasn't being mean on purpose its just
that PMS was owning me. He came back with a tray with a lot of things.

Me: what's this now?

Him: food. Well junk food. I'm sure you are craving something.

There was chocolate cake, chips, sweets, chocolate slabs, fruits and pizza. He had
gone all out and my heart couldn't help but melt.

Me: you didn't have to but I appreciate that you did.

I ate a bit of chocolate cake and then we cuddled in bed. Men like Atha are difficult to
find and I'm glad I'm the one he chose. The kind of love he shows me is what story
books and novels talk about. The love that romantic movies are based on. I love him
just as much if not more.

Atha: ucinga nton (what are thinking) babe

Me: lutho. I just love you

Him: I know. So, what do you wanna do for ibirthday yakho ngomso?

Me: angaz yaz (I don’t know). I'm having breakfast with Lesedi at Traumarei after our
first class

Him: then having lunch with me before your last class or we could have dinner. Your
choice

Me: oh, yah I'm having lunch with Enzo so we will have dinner

Him: you and Enzo are still tight?

Me: of course

Him: that's good. So, babe tell me, when do you think we should have our first child?

Me: after we get married

Him: and when do you want to get married

Me: when we are emotionally and financially ready.

Him: ok that makes sense.

Me: why are you asking?

Him: ukuthi I don't trust morning afters anymore. After what happened with Snothile, I
need to know that if we find ourselves in a situation, I'm ready for it

That made me realize that what Sno did really hurt him and he might be over it but
the memory of it will forever be in his heart

Me: I'd never abort your baby sthandwa sam. I promise you.

I don't know if he believed me or not but I needed him to know that I'm not Sno, I'm
not crazy, I'm not stupid and I don't like attention. I'm grown and I know how to act
my age.

I fell asleep and woke up at sunset. Bae wasn't next to me... I turned on the heater
and went to take a quick shower then went back under the covers. I wondered where
he was but I didn't worry. 30mins later he came back

Me: uphumaphi (where are you coming from)?

Him: egymini (from the gym)

Me: hmmmm you must leave a note next time. I was worried about you. He let out a
soft chuckle

Him: I will. Don't worry about me Mrs Dlamini to be. I'll always come back to you.
Forever and always.
Insert 67

Me: don't make promises you won't be able to keep

Atha: that's the one promise I know I will keep. Trust me. Anyway, when did you
wake up?

Me: about 10mins ago

Him: are you ready for real food now? How are you feeling vele?

Me: I'm good now. Let's go cook

Him: I'll cook too?

Me: yes

We went to the kitchen and started cooking. We made mashed potatoes, gravy,
veges and grilled chicken. My baby made the chicken and it was actually quite good.
We ate while watching a movie. Bae's phone rang and he got up to answer it in the
room. Ok that was weird. He never leaves the room when the phone rings. It was
quite a lengthy call and I tried my best to keep calm. I rinsed my plate and went back
to the couch. I called Enzo

Enzo: buddy

Me: bae

Him: unjani?

Me: I'm ok and you?

Him: ok what did he do now?

Me: lol nothing haw. Are we still on for lunch tomorrow?

Him: of course. I have a car now so I'll pick you up

Me: chesa wena. I can't wait to see it. Let's make lunch at 1

Him: alright. Are you sure you are ok?

Me: we will talk ksasa buddy

Me: ok shap
We hung up and Mr secretive was back. He kissed my forehead and cuddled next to
me. I didn't want to think the worst from just a phone call. I'm trying to trust this man
of mine after all. But then again, he was the one that said I should speak up and stop
running away

Me: baby

Him: my love

Me: what was that call about?

Him: lol I can't tell you. Its a surprise

Me: a good one I hope.

Him: of course. Just relax.

Me: let me go take a bath.

Him: let me go open the water for you. Ndithi ukuSpoila umuntu wam (I want to spoil
my person)

I laughed and went to take my clothes off and wrapped myself with a towel. Bae ran
me a bubble bath and I soaked myself in it. It was relaxing shame. I sat in there for a
good 45mins. Atha knocked

Atha: khawphume apho uzawthola iflu kalok (get out of there, you’ll get flu)

Me: ngiyeza (I’m coming).

I drained the water, washed the tub and got dressed in his sweatpants and his T-
shirt

Him: lol awuseCute munt' wam but didn't you bring your own clothes

Me: lol I did but I like yours more

Him: being a boyfriend is a tough job.

I started getting sleepy and he kept waking me up

Me: baby ngiyozela Mina manje (I’m sleepy).

Him: you are not sleeping until you turn 18. And we still have an hour and a half to
go
Me: what's with you and birthdays though? Why do you like them so much?

Him: its a long story babe

Me: well if I have to be up for 90mins, I might as well hear that story

Him: well when I was growing up, I never used to have birthday parties. My parents
treated my birthday just like any random day. I was born at the wrong time.

Me: what do you mean by wrong time?

Him: I was born when my mom and dad were getting successful. They didn't have
time for me. I was basically raised by nannies and for 3years in a row they forgot my
birthday. I promised myself that no matter what I have, I will never lose sight of
what's important. Having rich and successfully parents looks awesome from the
outside but when sneakers, phones and cars start replacing soccer games, bedtime
stories and playtime it isn't fun for the kid.

Me: so that's why you are closer to your aunts and your grandma? You are happy
when you are around them. Carefree type of happy

Him: yeah. That's a family. My mom and dad are just parents nje and Lu yena ke
rebels all the time. That's his way of trying to get their attention. Its my parents' fault
that my brother will never grow up.

It broke my heart to hear him speak like that. He was letting me in on his childhood
and upbringing and clearly it wasn't all rosy. I held him tightly and I could tell that he
was a bit teary. My man is emotional shame but he never shows it.

Me: you know crying isn't such a bad thing

Him: lol ndiyindoda mna (I’m a man) baby. Indoda ayikhali (a man doesn’t cry).

Me: oho but I'm here for you babe. I'd never forget your birthday and I want you to
know that you are important to me.

Before we knew it, it was 23:58. He went to get a cupcake and put 1 candle on it and
lit it. He started singing the birthday song and gave me the cupcake. It had my name
written in it. I was smiling from ear to ear. I blew the candle

Him: happy 18th birthday baby wam. I love you

Me: thank you baby. I love you too. So now can we go to sleep?

Him: lol yes baby. I can't wait for tonight. I'm gonna make you the happiest woman in
the world. Uzobona nje wena (you’ll see)

Me: lol goodnight babe.

We kissed and I fell asleep on his chest.

I was woken up by my alarm and my man was missing but there was a great aroma
in the flat so clearly breakfast was on the way. I took a bath and got dressed for
school. I wore black jeggings, a black long-sleeved T-shirt and black leather jacket
with black Nike sneakers. I went to the kitchen and found my favorite breakfast.
Pancakes, bacon and scrambled eggs and coffee

Atha: morning birthday girl

He kissed me

Me: morning boyfriend of birthday girl

We laughed then sat down to eat. After breakfast he drove me to school. I didn't eat
a lot because I was still meeting up with Lesedi for birthday breakfast. I got to class
and found Lunga and Thabiso

Me: morning guys

Them: morning birthday girl

I was a bit surprised that they even know my birthday. I smiled and sat down. Texts
flooded my phone. Birthday texts and bank notifications. Why can't it be my birthday
everyday though? I'd be so rich. Lesedi eventually joined us and after class we went
for our breakfast.

Sedi: so, what did Mr boyfriend get you?

Me: a cupcake and breakfast

Her: lol clearly more is coming. I want me a boyfriend like Atha shame. Such a
romantic

Me: lol well they only make one of those

She gave me my gift. She had bought me perfume and I loved it. I love gifts and I
believe it's the thought that counts so I'd never be like "I don't like your gift". I was
raised right. I had to leave Sedi when Enzo came to pick me up.
Insert 68

Enzo picked me up in a metallic blue golf 7 gti. I got in the car with the biggest
excitement ever.

Me: buddy is this your car? Its gorgeous

Enzo: lol yes, its my car and thank you

We had our lunch at Euro café.

Him: so, how's the birthday so far?

Me: its foody. I've been eating all day

Him: lol guess what I got you?

Me: well I hope its that car we came here in

Him: lol you are crazy. I'm not giving you my baby. Don't say I went overboard neh

Me: hmmmm ohk

Him: I will give it to you when I drop you off. Its in the car. So now tell me what's
going on with you, Atha and my brother

Me: wooooh buddy don't even mention that brother of yours. He is such a
complication in my life.

Him: lol I'm listening

Me: Atha told him to stay away from me and he refused

Him: why would Atha tell him that?

Me: angithi your brother is in love with me

Enzo choked on his food. That's how shocked he was. Kanti what did he know?!

Me: are you ok?

Him: I'm fine. So, he told you he is in love with you? Ai uLandile kodwa

Me: he didn't just stop there. He kissed me as well.

Him: and you told Atha?

Me: yeah, I had to. Now Atha's cousin is into Landile

Him: and his ex is busy inboxing me

Me: Landile's ex

Him: no. Atha's ex. Sno

Me: oh, the one that aborted his child

Him: aborted? She told me she had a miscarriage nje

Me: uyanya loyo (she is crazy). I hope you are not considering dating her

Him: hell no. I already know how she looks naked because of the pictures that were
all over the net

Me: did she tell you who posted them

Him: nah. Did she post them herself?

Me: nope. Atha did. Atha is vengeful buddy. Its scary at times. The lengths he goes
to

Him: ai ke ungamCrossi ke wena (don’t double cross him)

We had our lunch and a great conversation. I had missed my buddy shame. That's
one person that can brighten up my day. No matter what happens. There is never an
awkward moment or fighting between us. At half 3 he drove me back to campus
because I had class at 4. He took out a gift bag and it had a wrapped box in it. I
unwrapped the box and the best gift ever appeared before me.

Me: oh my gosh, oh my gosh buddy am I dreaming? Please tell me I'm dreaming.

This is exactly what I wanted. You are the best

I gave him the biggest hug ever. I was so happy. My buddy bae got me the Apple
iPad.

Him: my pleasure and happy birthday again buddy.

Me: I love it. So so much

I got out the car and went to class. I'd love to see Atha try and top this gift. I'd really
love him to try. This is the best birthday ever.
I had class and then bae picked me up. But he didn't take me to his flat. Instead he
took me to res

Me: and then?

Atha: you need to freshen up. We have a long night ahead of us

Me: lol really now?! So, will you wait or should I call you? And what should I wear?

Him: you must call me when you are done. Wear sweatpants and hoodie

Me: askies? Are you serious?

Him: I'm dead serious

Me: yho ai I wonder

I went to freshen up and wore leggings, long sleeved T-shirt and his hoodie and then
I called him

Him: babe

Me: I'm ready

Him: ok ndiyeza (I’m coming)

After a few minutes he arrived and we drove to his flat

Him: I have to blindfold you

Me: why?

Him: just nje

He put the blindfold on me and held my hand to his flat. He led me to a room and
closed the door. I heard him tell me to take the blindfold off. He was no longer in the
room. On the bed there was a beautiful black and gold dress and black heels. There
was a paper on the dress written "put me on". I put it on and the heels. I fixed my
weave, put on eyeliner and purple lipstick. I assumed we were going out. I shouted
out to Atha

Me: can I come out now?

Him: yeah you can

I walked out the room and into little heaven. The couches were moved aside and a
table was placed in the lounge. Red and white rose petals were on the floor and
dinner was served. He pulled a chair for me and we sat down to eat

Me: baby I'm speechless. This is beautiful. Thank you munt' wam

Guys I really was out of words he had done all out. The food was amazing so I know
he didn't cook

Him: I told you that I'm gonna make you the happiest woman on the planet tonight

Me: I'm already happy. So, who cooked?

Him: I pulled some strings and got a chef to prepare everything

Me: a what? Chef? Yho

Him: lol yeah. I don't trust my own cooking. So how was your day?

Me: it was amazing. I will never forget the 27th of July 2015. Best birthday ever.
Enzo got me the best gift ever.

Him: best ever? Lol what did he get you?

Me: I will show you later. I don't want you to be discouraged. I still haven't received
your gift

Him: lol discouraged? Lol my gift is definitely better. Kalok ndyamaz umunt' wam (I
know my person) mna. Let me go get it

I was beaming with excitement. I know my man always goes above and beyond to
make me happy. He came back with a gift bag and handed it to me. He was smiling
more than I was.

Me: and then why are you smiling so much. It's my gift not ours

Him: lol I'm happy on your behalf nje babe

I opened the gift bag and found a box. I opened the box and I was stunned. He really
did top Enzo's gift
Insert 69

It was an iPhone. Not just any iPhone but the iPhone 6 Plus. Atha doesn't even have
the iPhone 6. His is the iPhone 5S. I literally screamed and jumped up to hug him

Me: you got me a phone babe.

That was all I managed to say. I was blown away

Atha: lol yes baby its a phone. Turn it around

It had its own cover with my name on it.

Me: so, this is the surprise? You are so secretive yaz. I can't believe you. I'm so
happy right now

I didn't even know what to do. I kept pinching myself just as a reminder that this is
real.

Him: this is how I want to see you everyday. I want you this happy all the time. Buka
nje ukuthi umuhle njani (look how beautiful you are)

I blushed and we took tons of pictures I took pictures of all my presents and posted it
on Facebook. Nomz called within minutes and she screamed in my ear

Nomz: you lucky bitch. I want your life. You got an iPhone and an iPad in one day.
What's next? A car?

Me: lol now that would be something else

Her: I'm so happy for you chomam. Tell Atha he is excelling at this boyfriending
thing.

Me: lol will do

We hung up and I went to wash my face and wore bae's sweatpants and his T-shirt.

Him: yabo ngok ngabe ufumana ibirthday sex (you’d be getting birthday sex now) but
your periods are stopping us.

Me: we will have belated birthday sex. Babe...

Him: baby...

Me: you are amazing

Him: I am?

Me: yes, you are. I'm overwhelmed by the way you love me, the way you care about
me and the way you want to see me happy at all times. I'm blessed to have you in
my life

I meant every single word of that. I don't know if he believed me or not but as long as
he heard it, it's fine.

He held me tightly and kissed my cheek. I don't know when we fell asleep but I was
woken up by my alarm the next day. I took a bath and got ready for school. My class
was at 10. I tried waking Atha up but he refused to wake up. I made breakfast and
put his in the microwave.

Me: baby I need to go to school. Wake up

Him: thatha imoto (take the car) baby. You must just come get me at 12

Me: ok. I will see you later then

Him: I love you

Me: I love you too

I drove to campus and picked Sedi up from res and we went to class

Sedi: new phone. New car. New iPad. Ai this birthday was good to you.

Me: lol new car? I wish. This is Atha's car.

Her: you guys should just move in together already. You are always at his place

Me: you miss me already? Don't worry friend, I'm coming back tonight. Its 2 weeks
until test week so I need to start studying

Her: we will start tonight neh?

Me: yeah

After class I drove to pick Atha up and I found him still sleeping

Me: Athandwe awuvuke (wake up). You gonna be late for class.

Him: I don't feel well baby. I don't think I'll go to school.

I felt his forehead and he was burning up. He was getting flu and being the baby that
he is, he will most probably be in bed until the flu is finished

Me: did you eat kodwa?

Him: not yet

I made him chicken soup with noodles in it. At first, he didn't want to eat but I forced
him to eat. While he took a bath, I drove to the garage and bought med-lemon,
disprin and stoney for him and bought myself chocolate and ice cream. When I
returned to the flat I found him all cuddled up on the sofa. Looking like a person that
has stage 4 cancer. My man is so dramatic at times. I warmed up the stoney and put
2 disprin pills in it and gave it to him. He looked at me with concern

Him: uzama ukundibulala kalok (you are trying to kill me)

Me: I'm helping you. Drink up

Him: hai fondin andiyithembi lewei yakho (I don’t trust this thing of yours)

Me: just drink up please Athandwe

He did as he was told and within an hour he passed out. I covered him properly with
the blanket. I had a class in 30mins but I skipped it because I felt bad about leaving
him alone. I called Sedi

Sedi: friendship

Me: hey friendship. Listen neh I can't come to the other 2 classes. Bae has flu and I
don't want to leave him alone.

Her: so, no study session tonight?

Me: eish no babe. I will come by later to fetch some clothes

Her: tell Mr bf to get well soon

We hung up and I started cooking. I made lasagna, Greek salad and sticky BBQ
wings. Even though I wasn't going back to res, I wanted to start studying today. I
used the other bedroom as a study and I got down to work while the sick patient
slept. I managed to cover a chapter and a half and I heard him waking up from the
couch
Atha: baaaabe...are you still here?

I shouted back from the room I was in

Me: I'm in here.

He walked in wrapped in a blanket. He still looked adorable even though he was sick

Him: please go buy us food. I'm hungry

Me: I cooked. How are you feeling?

Him: I'm feeling a bit better but I'm still dying. Please dish up for me

I went to dish up for us and we ate in front of the TV.

Him: thank you for being here

Me: if I don't take care of you, who will?

I rinsed our plates then drove to campus to get clothes. I found Sedi and Thabiso
making out on her bed

Me: gosh guys get a room

Sedi: lol we are in one and its not like we were having sex

Me: Lol shouldn't you be studying?

Thabiso: we are on a break. Are you even studying?

Me: yep. I've covered almost 2 chapters.

Sedi: how's the sick one?

Me: dramatic. You could swear he has cancer but its adorable shame.

I grabbed my clothes and went back to my patient. I found him watching a movie and
I went to place my clothes in the room. His phone rang and it was in the room

Him: babe please get that

I answered it

Caller: I saw your car outside Madelief but you ignored me when I waved. My offer
still stands. I just want one night with you. You really look like you are good in bed
and don't tell me about your girlfriend again, I won't tell if you won't. I just want to
have a little taste of your dic-

Me: aibo girl, you don't even know if its Atha that answered the phone or not but
wena you've already gone to business. Lalela ke sfebe somsuthu, stop throwing
yourself at my man. Its slutty and disgraceful. He told you he isn't interested so fokof.

I hung up and gave Atha his phone. This girl annoyed me. These type of girls are
everywhere. What happened to your self respect as a woman. What happened to
caring about your dignity? Where is your pride as a woman when you ask for dick
from a guy with a girlfriend? What happens in your life that messes you up to the
extent that you lose all self respect. Girls these days will leave you disappointed. I
gave Atha his phone and went back to my books. I studied for 2 hours and then went
to get a glass of water. I found Atha still watching TV. He came to me in the kitchen

Atha: are you mad at me?

Me: why would I be mad at you?

Him: maybe because of Katlego's call

Me: I'm not mad. She just irritated me.

Him: don't let whores get to you. I'm yours and only yours. I promise you

Me: OK baby. Let me go study for 2 more hours then I'm all yours.

We shared a kissed and I went back to my books.

Insert 70

Test week came and yadlula. It wasn't bad because I was prepared. On the 11th of
August I became an aunt to the cutest baby girl ever. Her name is Sinothando
Alwande Valashiye. She uses Phiwe's surname since her and Nami aren't married. I
hadn't met my niece yet so two weeks before exams started, I went home. My mom
picked me up from the airport and I was happy to see her.

Mom: you are growing yaz. I can't believe you are 18 already.

Me: and I'm an aunt now. I can't wait to see Lwande

Her: you are going to love her. She is just too precious.

Me: so, what have I missed out on while I've been gone?

Her: nothing much yaz. Well apart from Nami wanting to move out in January

Me: and how do you feel about that? Phela Nami is your baby boy

Mom: he is growing naye so I have to accept it and let go. I'm sure when he moves
out it will hurt but I'll cross that bridge when I get to it

The moment we got home I rushed to Phiwe's room. I found her chilling with my
gorgeous niece. I picked her up and played with her

Phiwe: andsabuliswa mna (I don’t get greeted) lol

Me: lol I was gonna get to you. She is so gorgeous. I love her

Her: lol she takes after her mom though

I gave her a look and laughed. Lwande cried and I gave her her bottle, burped her
and rocked her back to sleep

Phiwe: you are a natural. When are you and Atha making your little juniors?

Me: lol not anytime soon hey.

Her: lol how's the relationship though?

Me: its good. Great actually. We fight obviously but we are still going strong

Her: new phone and new iPad... It must be really great.

I laughed and went to put my bags in my room. I was a bit tired so I took a nap.
30mins later I was woken up by my brother

Me: yin manje? Ungvuselani? (what’s wrong now. Why are you waking me up)?

Him: lol so much anger. I missed you. Ufike nini (when did you get here)?

Me: not so long ago. Awhambe (go) we will talk later. I wanna sleep kancane (a bit)

He left my room and I went back to sleep. I needed that nap and he knows I love my
sleep and I hate being woken up. I slept until 6PM then I woke up, washed my face
and rinsed my mouth. I went downstairs and found Nami watching TV with Lwande

Me: she will have square eyes if you make her watch TV. Mlethe (bring her).

I reached out to take her but he refused

Nami: angifuni (I don’t want to). Go make your own. She is all mine

They looked so cute together. Father and daughter bonding moment. I took pics and
sent them to Atha. He called me back

Me: boo thang

Atha: lol you know I hate that

Me: just like I hate being called a chocolate chicken but do you stop? Hell Nah

Him: chocolate chicken is cute. Nami and his daughter are adorable. Khasenze
owethu umntana kalok (let’s make our own child now) babe

Me: lol you are crazy but bayahalisa shame. Anyway, how are you?

We spoke for a brief moment and then hung up. My dad came home and he was so
happy to see me. We had dinner then Dad, Nami, Lwande and I watched TV. Mom
walked into the room and just stared at us while busy smiling to herself

Dad: and now?

Mom: I'm just looking at 2 generations of fathers and daughters. So precious

Lwande started crying and Nami wanted to take her to Phiwe.

Dad: uyabona ukhalisa ingane (you are making the child cry) with your 2 generations
Me: lol mlethe (bring her) Nami

I hushed and rocked her and she calmed down. I'm starting to believe that I'm a
natural at this baby thing but not to the extent that I'd want a baby of my own. I still
have big dreams ahead of me and a baby will just derail them. I couldn't get enough
of my niece. I had basically taken over the parenting. I was feeding her, changing her
and putting her too sleep. I left the bathing to Phiwe because I didn't trust myself with
it. Phela these tiny babies are too fragile. Imagine nje if I drop her in the water or if I
burn her with hot water.

I stayed at home for a week then I went back to Bloem. I didn't want bae to pick me
up from the airport because I wanted to go to res and not his flat. I got to res, ate and
napped. One thing I learnt in my first year is that napping is a miracle worker. You
feel so refreshed after a good nap. You feel like you could take over the world. When
I woke up I called Atha

Atha: I was just thinking about you

Me: really now?

Him: yeah. Are you sleeping over today?

Me: yeah. Since you won't be seeing much of me for 2 weeks

Him: 2 weeks? We will talk about that later. I need a favor

Me: I'm listening

Him: uzawvuma (are you going to agree)?

Me: depends on what favor you want?

Him: agree first

Me: ask for your favor

Him: OK. I'm gonna watch soccer at the flat with my friends, please get us a platter
at Checkers.

Me: how will I get to Checkers?

Him: take a cab to the flat and you can take the car. I'm lazy to go to the mall.
The laziness of this guy is ridiculous sometimes. I packed an overnight bag, called a
cab and did as he had asked. Weirdly enough I've never met any of Atha's Bloem
friends. I didn't care about that because it's his friends after all not mine and just
because we are dating doesn't mean we have to share friends as well. When I
returned to the flat, I heard loud voices nje before I even opened the door. There
were no voices when I came to get the car. I opened the door and found 4 guys
watching the game with bae. I put the platter on the kitchen counter and Atha came
to me in the kitchen. He kissed my cheek

Him: ndyabulela evha (thank you)

Me: pleasure. I'm gonna chill in your room.

Him: come let me introduce you to the guys

We walked to the lounge and before he introduced me, I realized that I know these
guys. Well at least 2 of them.

Atha: majita this is my girl Lwa, baby this is Lunga, Thabiso, X and Tshepi

Me: nice to meet you X and Tshepi. I know Lunga and Thabiso from class.

Lunga gave me a shady look and I ignored him. I chilled in bae's room watching a
movie on his laptop. When their game was over, Atha came to the room

Him: baby

Me: hmmm

Him: ndcela iVisa (can I have a visa). I promise I won't be out the whole night

Me: huh uh Athandwe. You asked me to come over and now you want to go out.
Kanti ngize kubani lana mina (who am I visiting)?

Him: kalok ndyakxelela ukba (but I’m telling you that) I'm not going to be out the
whole night. I'm just gonna grab a few beers with the guys then ndbuye (I’ll be back).
I will be back before midnight

Me: do whatever you want

Him: don't be like that baby. Ndcela uvume (please say yes)
I didn't want to be the controlling girlfriend but it was unfair of him to ask me to come
over if he wants to go out with his friends. So, I must just sit here and twiddle my
thumbs aze abuye yena (until he comes back)

Me: you can go

He kissed me and took a shower. I assumed his friends were gone so I went to get
juice from the kitchen but to my surprise they were still here. When I got to the
kitchen, Lunga came to me

Lunga: why didn't you tell me you are dating Atha?

Me: because A its none of your business, B we are not friends and C I don't owe you
any explanations.

I tried leaving but he blocked my way

Me: get out of my way.

Him: asiqedile ukukhuluma (we are not done talking)

Thabiso must have seen what was happening because he came to us

Thabiso: dude this is not the time and place for what you are doing. Show a little
respect.

Lunga got out of my way and I left them there. Bae finished showering and dressed
in black straight cut jeans, powder blue tight-fitting v-neck T-shirt and white
sneakers. He looked sexy as fuck. I stared at him. I can't believe this is my boyfriend

Atha: lol its rude to stare babe.

He smiled and his dimples appeared

Me: you better behave on this night out.

Him: lol I always behave. Let me leave so I can come back soon.

We shared a long kiss and it got heated, he put his hand in my leggings and fingered
me. I let out a soft moan. I wanted him right there and then. He took off my shirt and I
stopped him

Me: babe your friends are waiting for you

Him: dammn but baby look at me*pointing at his boner*

Me: tell them you will find them where ever you are going. He rushed to the door

Me: Atha

Him: hmmmm

Me: you can't go out there with that boner.

Him: ai these are guys. They will have to understand.

He went out and then I heard the main door open. He returned to me and we
continued where we had left off. We had a quickie, showered together and he left.
Insert 71

Atha's POV

I drove my chocolate chicken to the airport. She was going home for a couple of
days and I knew I was gonna miss her the moment the plane took off.

Me: uzawbuya nini baby (when will you be back)?

Lwa: on Saturday

Me: that's far. Buya (come back) Wednesday. I'm gonna be missing you and I won't
survive until Saturday

Her: you are so dramatic. I'll be back before you know it

I dropped her off, helped her with checking in and then it was time to leave her. I
hugged her tightly because I didn't want to let her go. We kissed and then I drove
back to the flat. I have a test on Tuesday so I wanted to study but I can't study at the
flat. Its too distracting and I never understand how Lwa does it. I gathered my books
and went to study on campus. I studied for 3 hours then took a break. While on my
break I received a call from Katlego. That girl really annoys me because she is
exactly like Thando. She lives in the same res as Lwa but she always acts like she
doesn't know my girlfriend. I don't even know why Lunga gave her my number when
I had asked him not to.

Me: hello

Katli: hey Atha. How are you?

Me: I'm good and you?

Her: I'm good. Are you on campus?

Me: yeah but I'm gonna leave in a few minutes

I lied because I knew she was going to ask me to do something for her

Her: I'm on a study break, please give me a lift to McDonald's. Pretty please

Me: how are you gonna get back to campus because I'm not coming back?

Her: well we can just go to your place

Me: you are crazy. I will give you a lift and bring you back. Be outside your res in
5minutes.

I left my books and drove to go pick her up. Katli was beautiful but her body wasn't
appealing. I drove her to McD's and I didn't get out the car

Her: aren't you getting anything?

Me: Nah I'm cool.

When she came out we drove back to campus

Her: Atha I've never wanted a guy the way I want you. From the moment I met you I
knew I wanted you but you keep blowing me off

Me: OK

Her: is that all you gonna say?

Me: what do you want me to say? I don't want you. I told you this countless time but
you don't want to accept it so what do you want me to do?

I parked outside her res and waited for her to get out but she just sat there. She tried
kissing me and I moved out the way

Me: I have to go so please get out my car

I wasn't mad or irritated, I just felt sorry for her. She was desperate and it was
disgusting. I hate it when girls chase me, I'm a man, I like doing my own chasing. I'm
just old fashioned like that.

I studied on campus for 2 more hours then drove to KFC to get food then drove to
the flat. I took a shower then called my wife

Lwa: hey baby

Me: why are you still up?

Her: I can't sleep. Wena?

Me: I just got back from studying on campus. I miss you

Her: I miss you too babe. How's the studying?

Me: its going well. So, tell me, you don't want to have cute babies with me?
Her: lol I do, just not now.

Me: but soon though?

Her: lol we will see

We spoke for a while and then I hung up and slept. Next day I woke up early and
revised then I went to write. The test was pretty easy, I'm sure I got a distinction.
After writing I went to the gym for 2 hours then called my friend X

X: sho bruh

Me: zskhiphani bruh (what’s up)?

Him: nix and kuwe (nothing and on your side)?

Me: nix. I'm in the mood for a game of FIFA.

Him: let's do it. I'll tell Tshepi and you call Lungsta and Thabs

Me: sho sho boy

I called Lunga and Thabiso and they agreed. I ordered 2 boxes of pizza and they
came with booze. We got the night underway

Lunga: majita there is a chick I'm feeling but she won't budge. I've tried everything to
get her numbers but she shuts me down all the time

Thabs: the chick from class?

Lunga: yeah her. I'm crazy about that girl

Me: tell her bruh or get her numbers one way or another.

Lunga: she is Thabiso's girlfriend's roommate and Thabs doesn't want to get me the
numbers

My friends and I all have girlfriends except for Lunga and Tshepi but we don't know
each other's girlfriends. Its a pact we made to avoid drama and insecurities.

Me: Thabs is doing the right thing by not getting you the numbers. Get them yourself.
Sweat for them

Lunga: and yet I got you Katli's numbers. I delivered that chick to you on a silver
platter
Me: I don't want that chick and you gave her my numbers not the other way around

Lunga: same thing. Point is I helped you out

Me: I didn't ask you too

The argument went back and forth until I just lost interest in it. We played until 10PM
and then the gents left. I hadn't spoken to my baby today but I was too tired to call so
I sent her a text saying goodnight and reminding her that I love her. I was tipsy so
falling asleep was a breeze.

My baby is coming back today. She's been gone for a whole week. She called me
early in the morning

Me: morning babe

Lwa: morning sthandwa sam

Me: unjani

Her: ngright and wena

Me: I'm good. What time are you landing this side? I wanna pick you up

Her: around 12. Don't pick me up, I'm gonna take a cab. I want to nap then I will
come over

Me: OK babe

The way Lwa thinks naps are not possible in my flat though. As much as I had
missed her, I accepted that she doesn't want me to pick her up. I got out of bed, went
to gym and lazed around. There was a soccer game at 6 and my friends were gonna
watch it at the flat. Those guys eat a lot and since I'm hosting, I must provide food.
Problem is that I'm lazy to go to the mall. I called Lwa and asked her to sort us out.
The guys arrived with beer 30mins before the game started

Tshepi: where is the food?

X: dude we just got here.

Tshepi: so?

Me: lol my girl will bring the food.

Thabs: so, we are finally meeting the girl that has you so whipped

Me: lol whipped? I'm not whipped

X: you are whipped bruh. The way you are so whipped, you don't even notice other
fine ass girls

Lunga: like Katli. That girl is on point majita

X: facewise only. The body sucks.

As that debate was going on, Lwa walked in with the platter and I went to her in the
kitchen. I kissed her cheek and thanked her then I introduced her to the guys. The
moment Lunga saw her, his expression changed but I pretended like I didn't notice.
He was offish throughout the whole game

Me: Lungsta bruh ugrand?

Lunga: sho sho

X: why are you so quiet? You always make noise and talk shit when your team is
winning

Lunga: I'm not quiet. Let's just watch the game

My gut told me that Lwa is the girl Lunga was talking about but there was no way for
me to be sure about it.

Lunga: let's go out after the game.

Me: I can't. My girl is here

Lunga: cela iVisa (ask for a visa)

Tshepi: let's speak a language we all understand

Lunga: I was telling him to ask for a Visa

X: or we can just go out without Atha

Lunga: it won't be the same. Come on bruh

I asked Lwa for the Visa and she agreed. Even though it took a bit of convincing. I
understood where she was coming but I wanted to see what Lunga was up to.

One of the things I love about Lwa is the way she looks at me. She looks at me with
desire and love. She always has this "my man is hot" look. After getting dressed we
shared a heated kiss and I was turned on so badly. I had even forgotten my friends
were in the flat. I had to get rid of them. I hadn't spent proper quality time with my
baby. I walked into the lough with a boner and I didn't care

Thabs: lol heh this guy. What's with the tent?

Me: eish guys, change of plans, I will find you guys there. Baby and I need to catch
up a bit

They laughed and left. I went back to the room to finish what I had started. I took off
her shirt, her bra, leggings and panties...all at once. I finger f**ked her until she
reached her first orgasm and then I went down on her until the second one. I put on
a condom and then did my baby good. She was screaming and moaning like crazy.
When we were done, we took a shower together and I left. I didn't really know where
we were going so I called X

X: sho bruh

Me: siyaphi (siyaphi)?

Him: Topaz ntwana

Me: sho I'm on my way

When I got there, there were 5 girls at our table. I wanted to ask what the hell was
going on but I didn't wanna offend anyone so I kept quiet. I had one beer then I drank
water the whole night. Katli was amongst those girls and I was already irritated. I
pulled X aside

Me: kwenzeka nton apha (whats going on here)?

X: Lunga's idea ntwana. I'm not feeling it one bit bruh. I'm gonna bounce in 30mins.

Me: me too bruh.

Katli and some girl came to us

Katli: guys this is my friend Kamo. Kamo this is Xolani and Atha

Us: nice to meet you

Kamo: X can we talk in private?

X: Nah I'm good

Katli: X skaba jwalo (don’t be like that)

X: skang tlwayela masepa nxa

X doesn't sugarcoat anything. He says it like it is and puts bitches in their places.
This night out was a waste of time. I looked around for Lunga but I didn't see him

Me: guys I'm gonna bounce. I'll check y'all later

Katli: why are you leaving so soon? I'm still enjoying your company. Please stay.

Me: maybe next time.

Her: you can't leave until Lunga gets back. He said I should keep you here until he
comes back

Me: where did he go?

Her: he went to Ascort flats.

Ascort flats?! I live in Ascort. I stepped outside and tried calling Lwa but she didn't
pick up
Insert 72

As I was watching Blackish on Atha's laptop I heard a knock on the door. It was
already past 9 and Atha didn't tell me someone was gonna be coming over.

Me: who is it?

Lunga: its me

Me: ufunani 9what do you want)?

Him: I left my keys there. Open so I can look for them

I was hesitant about opening but I did anyway.

Me: look for your keys and leave. Does Atha even know that you are here?

Him: we have to talk. Just hear me out. Please

Me: get your keys and go

My phone rang but as I was heading for it, he grabbed my arm

Me: leave me alone

Him: NO! YOU ARE GONNA SIT DOWN AND LISTEN

I don't understand why he had to shout.

Me: I don't want to listen to anything you have to say.

He slapped me across the face and pushed me on the couch. I was so confused as
to what just happened. Did this idiot just slap me?

Him: you see what you made me do? Why couldn't you just co-operate? Lwa I love
you. I've loved you since the first day I met you. Please just give me a chance. Leave
Atha and be with me. I'm better than he is

I kept quiet. I was boiling with anger. Who does this little punk think he is?

Him: sthandwa sam please accept my proposal

Me: angsiso isthandwa sakho mina (I’m not your love). Leave me the fuck alone

Him: you are so cheeky huh. I saw that boner you gave Atha. I'm sure he fucked you
after we left neh?
I just kept quiet. I wasn't going to entertain this idiot shame. If this is what alcohol
does to people, I'm ready to stop drinking

Him: I'm sure he fingered you

He undid his belt, took off his pants and pulled his little dick out. I was now scared. I
didn't want to get raped

Me: put your clothes on

Him: no baby. I want to know how he fucked you. Tell me how he did it or should I
tell you how I think it went down?

Not a single word came out of my mouth. Fear was written all over my eyes. He
started jerking himself off. I've never felt so disgusted in my life

Him: you let him lick your pussy, didn't you? You naughty naughty girl. And then you
let him fuck you. You guys really should close the door when you fucking

The stupid psycho watched us. The security gate was locked but the main door
wasn't and the room door was open. What kind of psychopath watches people
having sex? I was almost in tears. This idiot has basically seen me naked

Him: baby I love the way you scream and moan. Its such a turn on. Thinking about it
will just make me cum right now.

Next thing Atha burst in through the door and punched the living day lights out of
Lunga. He beat him to a pulp then dragged him outside the door and threw his
clothes over the balcony. He came to me and held me tightly

Atha: baby are you ok? Did he hurt you? I'm so sorry sthandwa sam

I cried my heart out. What would have happened if Atha didn't walk in when he did?
That idiot was going to rape me. He held me while I cried and brushed my back.

Him: ndcela uxola (I’m sorry) Lwa. This is all my fault.

I tried calming down so I can tell him that its not his fault but I couldn't. The tears kept
rolling. He made me sugar water to calm me down and it worked after a while. He
got up and headed towards the main door

Me: uyaphi (where are you going)?

There was so much fear in my voice

Him: I'm not going anywhere. I'm just locking the door babe. I'm not leaving you.

We went to his room and cuddled in bed. There was silence and a lot of tension in
the air

Atha: baby

Me: hmmmm

Him: I'm sorry I wasn't here to protect you. I'm sorry you had to go through that.

I wanted to respond but I had a huge lump in my throat. He was hurt, I could hear it
in his voice

Me: it's not your fault. I don't blame you at all. I'm scared Athandwe

Him: I'm here babe. Talk to me

Me: not tonight. I will when I'm ready

I was really scared...to the extent that I was even scared to sleep. What if the whole
thing comes back in my dreams?!

Atha: what's on your mind?

Me: I'm scared to fall asleep. I don't want to dream about that

Him: did he hurt you? Did he touch you?

Me: he just slapped me and pushed me around. He didn't rape me

Him: are you sure? The guy had his dick out when I got in here

Me: I'M FUCKEN SURE. I WOULD KNOW IF SOMEONE HAD RAPED ME. I'M NOT
FUCKEN STUPID

I got up and locked myself in the other room. The room had no blankets. Just a bed
with a sheet on. I curled myself on the bed and cried. I don't know why I lashed out at
him. I wasn't angry at him. I was angry with myself. Why didn't I look for the keys
while he was still outside the door? Why did I let him in? Why didn't I tell him to come
back when Atha is around? Its all my fault that I almost got raped.

I heard a soft knock on the door but I ignored it

Atha: baby please don't shut me out. Please don't push me away. Please open and
take this blanket. Ndyakcela (please)

I was getting cold so I went back to Atha's room. I checked the time and it was
almost 5AM. I was tired and sleepy but I still didn't want to sleep. I was even getting
a headache. I took 4 painkillers

Atha: why so many? You won't wake up

Me: I will

I passed out and woke up at 10AM. I opened my eyes and found Atha just staring at
me. He looked exhausted

Me: ulalile (did you sleep)?

He shook his head and smiled

Me: why didn't you sleep?

Him: I wanted to make sure you don't get nightmares

Me: I'm up now so you can sleep.

Him: no, its ok. I want to make sure you are ok at all times.

Me: the door is locked. I'll be ok. Sleep

Him: are you sure?

I nodded and went to take a long bath. I dressed in his sweatpants and his vests. I
hardly wear my own clothes when I'm here. His clothes are more comfortable and
they have his scent all over them. I made coco pops and watched cartoons. Being in
the lounge brought back the events of last night. Every time I closed my eyes, I saw
Lunga and his little penis. I built up courage and told myself I'm bigger than this. I'm
not going to let it take control over my life. I hate Lunga with everything in me. He
better stay away from me. I watched cartoons all morning, it got to a point whereby I
wasn't even focusing anymore. I was just staring into space. I didn't even see or hear
Atha walk into the room

Atha: Lwandile

I got such a fright

Him: askies baby I didn't mean to scare you

Me: its ok.

Him: lol didn't you bring your own clothes? Always abusing my sweatpants

Me: lol leave me alone. These are mine now

Him: aaaah is that a smile? I've missed your smile

He came and sat next to me

Him: have you eaten?

Me: yeah. I ate coco pops.

Him: that's not food. Let's go get food

Me: go babe. I don't feel like going out

Him: I'm not leaving you here alone.

Me: I'll be ok. I'll call Lesedi

Him: call her while I'm still here

Atha is so overprotective now. I know it comes from a good place but he will
suffocate me. I called Sedi and she agreed to come over. Atha wouldn't leave until
Sedi arrived.
Insert 73

Sedi: yho friendship what's with your man today? He is acting weird

Me: he is just being a bit protective. Something happened here last night so he is just
being my superman.

Her: something being?

Me: I will tell you when I'm ready but you must tell that friend of yours, Lunga to stay
very far away from me

Sedi seemed surprised. I don't know why because she knows I don't like the guy

Her: I know you not interested in the guy but I didn't think it was that bad. What did
he do to you now?

Me: you will know one day

Her: your boyfriend really loves you.

Me: what makes you say that?

Her: the things he does for you, the way he looks at you and the way he goes out of
his way to make you happy. And he has never cheated. Thabiso tells me that Atha
doesn't even look at other girls when they go out.

Me: but friend what if he is too good to be true? What if he has a dark and twisted
side to him and maybe when he shows it, it will be too late.

Her: have a little faith in the guy. You have what we only aspire to have. Hold on to it
and stop doubting him. I know what real love is and that's what Atha feels for you.
Trust me.

Atha came back with a shit load of food. Burgers, pizza and ribs

Atha: I didn't know what you guys wanted so I got a bit of everything

Me: thanks babe

Sedi: guys I can't stay. I'm meeting up with Thabiso

We said our goodbyes and she left

Atha: uright baby?

Me: yeah, I'm good

I put my head on his chest and we ate while cuddling

Him: babe exams start the week after this coming week

Me: I know. I can't sleepover until end of exams. I hope you understand

Him: I do babe. Can I ask you something? Just don't get mad

Me: ohk ask

Him: do you think whatever happened last night will affect our sex life?

Me: I don't think so. I mean he didn't rape me

Him: then what did he do

Me: ai baby let's drop it. Please

Him: I'll ask and you just say yes or no

Me: ai ok fine

Him: did he touch you inappropriately?

Me: no

Him: did he kiss you?

Me: no

Him: did he grab your butt?

Me: no... this is not getting us anywhere. When we were having sex last night, he
watched us...until we were done. When he came here, he replayed our sex session
in his mind and was jerking himself off. Maybe he wasn't even going to do anything
but to have someone just whipping their penis out at me scared me because I didn't
know what would come after that.

He held me tightly and I didn't even realize that I was crying.

Him: shhhh baby I'm here now. That psycho will never come anywhere near you. I
promise
We sat in silence while he had his arms around me. He then went to shower and
drove me back to res. I studied and then slept. In the morning I was woken up by a
text from Atha checking up on me. Being at res feels better than being at that flat. I
feel safe and at peace at res. I went to rinse my face and brushed my teeth then
made cereal and ate while in bed. Lesedi didn't sleep here last night so I was alone.
After eating, I watched one episode of The Originals then started studying. I studied
for 2 hours then took a break. Showered and wore leggings and an oversized vest
then went back to studying. Lesedi walked in and came to my side of the room.

Me: hey girl

Sedi: hey. Have you heard?

Me: heard what?

Her: Lunga got kicked out of our faculty.

Me: yho why?

Her: no one knows. He got an email that he is kicked out with immediate effect and
next semester he should register for another course in another faculty.

Me: shame

I attempted going back to my studying but Sedi stopped me

Her: we have to help him

Me: fuck no

Her: don't be so heartless Lwa.

Me: heartless? You don't know what that guy did to me so don't call me heartless.
He must sort out his own mess

I wouldn't help that psycho even if I had all the power in the world. He needs to suffer
and God is making him suffer. I studied the whole day and I must say I made a lot of
progress. I got hungry so I walked to the student center to get food. I went to steers,
placed my order and then waited by the tables. Atha's friend X saw me and came to
me

X: hey
Me: hey.

Him: ugrand?

Me: yeah ngiright.

My order number was called so I went to collect my order. He collected his and then
we walked together

Him: do you mind if I walk you?

Me: yeah sure. You live at Tswelopelo right?

Him: yeah. Are you ok though? I mean after what went down on Saturday.

Me: uhm how do you know about that? Did Atha tell you?

Him: nah. Lunga told me. He feels bad about it

Me: clearly not bad enough if he is telling people about it

We walked until where we had to go out separate ways.

Him: he wants to apolo-

Me: he can keep his apology. Angiyfuni. I have to go

I headed straight for my room, ate and took a nap. I woke up and studied for a few
hours. Sedi was studying in the room as well but I sensed a bit of tension between
us since we spoke about the Lunga thing.

Me: Sedi can we talk?

Her: yeah

I went over to her side and told her what happened with Lunga on Saturday

Her: friendship oh my gosh I'm so sorry. Are you ok? I didn't know

Me: I'm fine. Its ok really.

Her: so that's why Atha was so overprotective the other day?

Me: yeah

*
Exams came and passed. After I finished writing I stayed at Atha's place because we
had catching up to do. Exams meant no intimacy for us.

Atha: baby wake up

Me: hmmmmm

Him: wake up

Me: why?

Him: ndiyakfuna kalok mna (I want you)

Me: huh uh baby nglele (I’m sleeping)

He started playing with and turning me on in all sorts of ways. I was now up and we
got down to business...without a condom. We showered and I got dressed in high
waist navy bum shorts, plain white crop top and white sneakers. I curled my weave
and wore eyeliner and pink lipstick. Bae wore navy chino shorts, white short sleeved
shirt and white sneakers.

Me: why are you matching with me now?

Atha: lol you copied me nje. But I have a surprise for you

Me: you and surprises kodwa.

Him: its a little one tho. Just go-cart racing on the roof top of the mall.

Me: sounds like fun

We drove to the mall and it was so much fun. We let loose and enjoyed ourselves.
Then later we bought meat and had a braai with his friends and their girlfriends. X's
girlfriend was gorgeous. Her name is Lebo.

Thabiso: guys has anyone heard from Lunga lately?

I got up immediately and went to the bathroom. I chilled there and calmed myself
down.

Atha: babe are you ok in there?

Me: yeah just give me a moment

I checked myself in the mirror and walked out. Atha was standing outside the door.
Him: I'm worried about you

Me: don't be. I'm ok

Him: you are not ok. You freak out every time someone says his name. That's not
normal

Me: baby I'm ok. Let's go. We are being bad hosts

We went out to the balcony where everyone was. X came to me

X: are you ok?

Me: yeah. Excuse me.

I talked to the rest of the guys and it turned out to be a good night. At 10PM
everyone wanted to go out but I wasn't in the mood.

Atha: I'm not leaving you. Either we go or I'll stay

Me: excuse us for a moment guys

Atha and I went to the kitchen

Him: I mean it babe

Me: you were telling me about normal behavior right? Start being normal nawe. I will
be ok. I will lock the doors. I promise and I won't let anyone in

Him: are you sure?

Me: yes, I am. Go have fun with your friends

They left and I showered and watched a movie. I love summer nights. They are so
chilled and relaxing. My phone rang and it was Enzo

Me: buddy

Enzo: hey. Are you done writing?

Me: yeah, I am

Him: ukuphi (where are you)?

Me: Atha's flat

Him: oh, I wanted to see you but its chilled

Me: you can come over. I'm alone

Him: you sure your man won't mind?

Me: yeah. Tell me when you are outside so I can open the gate for you

Him: sho

He arrived after 10mins. I poured us some juice and we chilled

Enzo: awusangfuni wena (you don’t want me anymore)

Me: a lot has happened buddy. I've been so distracted

Him: I can see. Are you good though?

Me: yeah, I'm good. Yaz buddy you should visit us these holidays

Him: I will see buddy

We chilled and watched a movie while catching up. Atha walked in and he looked
pissed

Atha: aita

Enzo: sho sho

Me: whats wrong?

Atha: we have a problem

Enzo: guys I will see you around. I have to go

I hugged Enzo and he left

Me: what problem?

Him: Lunga is blackmailing me...well us

Me: with what?

Him: he says he has a video of us. Uthi if I don't get him back to the faculty he was in
by next semester, he is leaking the video

Me: WHAT? how does he expect you to do that? You are not the dean
Him: he must have found out that I was the one who got him kicked out in the first
place

Me: WHAT? What the hell is wrong with you Athandwe?

Him: baby I was doing it to protect you. I didn't want you to have to see that psycho
in class.

Me: oh gosh. You can't just go around messing up people's lives Athandwe. First it
was Sno and now Lunga. Who's next? I know you mean well baby. I really do but
you can't keep doing this. How did you even pull it off?

Him: the dean is a family friend. I won't tell him to reverse his decision

Me: and if Lunga leaks the video? Then what? This isn't just about you. It involves
me as well

Him: I will take care of it.

Me: no. You won't take care of anything. You will have the dean reverse his decision.

Him: but bab-

Me: no buts Athandwe. I'm not risking my reputation over this.

Him: I'm not going to do that. That bastard must pay for everything

Me: well either you talk to the dean or we are done.

Insert 74

I meant every word I said. Yes, I love Athandwe but I love myself as well. I can't let
this ruin my reputation. Imagine nje if Nami comes across that video. He will kill me

Atha: uthini? Ngathi andikuvisisi (what are you saying. I’m not hearing you clearly)

Me: you heard me and I mean it

Him: Lwandile sundiqhela kakubi fondin (don’t irritate me). You want to break up with
me because I don't want to help the guy that almost raped you. Does that make
sense kuwe?

Me: I'm not doing it for Lunga. Anginandaba naleyonja Mina. I care about me. About
my reputation
Him: angithi ndikuxelele ukba (I am telling you that) I will take care of it. What's so
hard to understand kuleyonto (in that)?

Me: you taking care of it will create an even bigger mess

Him: khawundimamele fondin (listen to me)...you are not ok. You are far from it. I
don't want you to ever see that guy again because I'm scared of what it will do to
you. I'm not always with you and I will do whatever that's within my power to protect
you. I don't understand why you don't understand that.

Me: Athandwe ngicela ulalele mina (please listen to me) right now. Talk to the dean
and undo what you did. I appreciate that you did that it for me. I really do but please
undo it. I want him out of our lives for good

Him: fine. Have it your way

He grabbed his car keys and headed for the door

Me: uyaphi manje (where are you going)?

He didn't respond. He just left. I don't think I've ever seen him that pissed before. I
told myself that I wasn't going to wait up for him. I got in bed and tried sleeping but I
couldn't. I tossed and turned. I went to the kitchen and warmed up a glass of milk
and had it with cookies. I checked the time and it was almost 4AM and he still wasn't
back. I called him and he answered after a long time

Atha: ufunani Lwandile (what do you want)?

He sounded really drunk and there was noise in the background

Me: uzobuya nini (when will you be back)?

Him: ndbuya ndyaphi (back for what)?

Me: askies

Him: undvile fondin. Ndibuya ndiyaphi (you heard me. Come back for what)?

Me: oh, so its like that now? Ukuphi vele (where are you)?

Him: ndiseSmall street. Khawfonele laLunga wakho omDefend(ayo) uhlukane nami

(I am at small street. Call your Lunga that you keep defending and leave me alone).
He hung up. What he said hurt but I didn't take it to heart. He was drunk and pissed
and most probably he won't remember it in the morning. I called a cab and went to
small street. I saw his car in front of a club called The Kitchen. I called him again

Atha: ai fondini undifunani kalok (what do you want from me)

Me: step outside so I can hear you properly.

He walked out, I paid the cab driver and went to Atha. He was beyond drunk. He
couldn't even stand properly

Me: where are your car keys?

He handed them over and I pushed him into the car and drove back to the flat. I gave
him water and painkillers

Him: yintoni le (what’s this)?

Me: just drink

I put a blanket in the other room. I wasn't going to share a bed with a person that
was that drunk. When I went back to lounge I found him asleep on the counter. I
woke him up and walked him to the room. Helped him take his shoes off, together
with his pants and his shirt. Tucked him in and went to sleep in the other room. Now
that I knew he was safe, I managed to sleep. Next day I woke up and made a greasy
breakfast for him and I ate cereal then watched the repeat of Isibaya. The drunken
master eventually woke up and took a shower then came to me

Atha: hey bab-

Me: your food is in the microwave

Him: thank you.

He headed for the kitchen and ate there while sitting on the high-rise chairs. Then he
rinsed his plate and came and sat next to me

Him: baby I'm sor-

Me: don't.

I got up and went to take a shower and wore sweat shorts and a hooded short
sleeved T-shirt. I packed my bag
Me: ngicela ungphindisele eres (please take me back to res)

Him: baby can we talk?

Me: no. Are you gonna take me to res or not?

Him: I will take you there after we've talked

Me: I have nothing to say to you and I don't want to hear anything from you.

I walked to the room and called Enzo to pick me up and he agreed. I was hurt and I
was angry. I know he said the stuff he said out of anger and drunkenness but it still
hurt. If he can't understand where I'm coming from for wanting to protect my
reputation and if he can just walk out while we are talking and get drunk the way he
did last night then clearly, he is more selfish than I thought.

Enzo called to tell me he is outside

Me: I'm leaving

Him: you are leaving? We haven't spoken yet. If you walk out that door, we are done

Me: bye Athandwe.

Tears threatened my eyes and the moment I entered Enzo's car, tears rolled down
my cheeks. I quickly wiped them away.

Enzo: buddy what's wrong?

Me: its nothing. Please take me to res.

Him: I know you so I know something is wrong. Please just talk to me. I'm here for
you

Me: we broke up

Him: what? Why?

I told him what happened. I told him everything...from the Lunga thing to last night's
events.

Him: you guys need space from each other. I believe in you guys so I know you will
work it out. You love each other more than any couple I've ever seen. Don't let
something so stupid ruin something so beautiful.
When got to res and I got in bed and cried myself to sleep. Lesedi had gone home
already so I was alone. When I woke up I had a headache from hell. I made a
sandwich but I couldn't eat. I couldn't stop thinking about Athandwe. I kept trying and
I kept failing. When you break up with someone you love, it hurts more than
anything. It felt like a knife was stabbing my heart over and over again. He called and
I rejected the call. I called Nami

Nami: baby sis

Me: hey bro unjani (how are you)

Him: I'm good and you?

Me: I'm good. Please book a flight for me for tomorrow. I wanna come home

Him: are you done writing?

Me: yeah

Him: alright. I will book it for you.

Me: kiss Lwande for me

We hung up and I laid in bed. I needed to go home. The year was over anyway and I
had seen my results already. There was nothing left for me in Bloem anymore. I
started packing and then I heard a loud knock on the door I assumed that it was one
of the girls that live here

Me: come in

Athandwe walked in. He looked horrible. His eyes were red and he was a mess nje

Me: what are you doing here?

Atha: baby I can't lose you. I'm sorry ok. I really am. Just please don't leave me.
Ndyakucela (please) baby

I stopped packing and and sat down. He sat down next to me

Me: the sad part is that awazi (you don’t know) what you are apologizing for and you
don't even mean that apology

Him: I know what I'm apologizing for and I mea-

Me: I need to finish packing. I have an early flight ksasa

Him: uyaphi (where are you going)?

Me: I'm going home. There is nothing left for me here

Insert 75

Atha's POV

Its tough being a man. Anger doesn't even begin to describe what I felt when I
walked into my flat and found someone I considered a friend masturbating in front of
my girlfriend. What kind of person does that? And for what reason? During the whole
time that I was beating him up, I was thinking about Lwa and what she must have
been feeling. She had so much fear in her eyes. I didn't know how to comfort her but
ndazixelela ukba (I told myself that) I'll just be around for her in case she wants to
cry, scream or hit someone. When she eventually fell asleep I watched her sleep. I
didn't want even a mosquito to take chances with her. My phone rang and it was
Tshepi. I stepped out the room so I could answer without waking Lwa up

Me: hello

Tshepi: aita bruh what's going on?

Me: with what?

Him: with you and Lunga. I'm at Medi-clinic now with him, he is getting stitches. He
says you beat him up

Me: yeah, I did and don't get yourself involved in this mess bruh

Him: you beat the guy up to the extent that he needs stitches and you tell me not to
involve myself. Are you crazy? This is your friend bruh

Me: Lunga is no friend of mine. Tell him if he ever does what he did today ever
again, I will circumsize that pinky sized dick of his with baby scissors

Him: tell me what he did

Me: tell him to tell you. Bruh I need to go. I'm busy here

I hung up and went back to watching Lwa sleep. I was beyond exhausted but I told
myself I won't sleep. Not until she has rested. When she woke up she found me wide
awake. I was happy that she managed to sleep without having any nightmares. I
slept when she woke up.

After I dropped her off at res I called my dad. I wanted to get Lunga expelled from
our varsity.
Dad: molo (hello) Athandwe

Me: molo tata kunjani (hello dad, how are you)?

Him: ndikhona unjani (I’m fine, how are you)?

Me: ndphilile tata (I’m fine dad). Uhm tata do you still have uncle Mike's numbers?

Him: Michael Steenkamp? Dean of the Economic Management Science faculty?

Me: yeah.

Him: of course.

Me: please send it to me.

Him: alright.

We hung up and he sent me the numbers. I thought twice about what I'm about to do
but it was worth it. I know I'm about to mess with someone's education but he
messed with my heart. You don't get to do what he did and still go back to your
normal life. I called uncle Mike

Mike: Steenkamp hello

Me: hey uncle Mike, its Athandwe here

Him: Athandwe Dlamini?

Me: yes. How are you?

Him: I'm fine and you

Me: I'm fine. Uncle Mike can I see you tomorrow morning? Its a matter of urgency

Him: of course. Come to my office at 9AM

Me: thanks uncle Mike

I hung up, gathered my books and headed for campus. Exams were on their way. I
studied for 4 hours before stopping for the day. That Katli girl kept calling and texting
me but I just kept ignoring her. I even hated her, anything to do with Lunga nje is on
my hate list. I drove back to the flat, made a sandwich and slept. Next day I woke up,
texted Lwa to check if she is OK, showered and went to see uncle Mike. I told him
the situation and that I needed Lunga to be expelled
Mike: what has the world come to? Boys just can't seem to keep it in their pants. I
understand your anger and frustrations but I can't get him expelled. Its a lengthy
process. I will however kick him out of my faculty

Me: so, he will still be studying here, just another faculty.

Him: yes. I will allow him to write his exams and then next year, he will have to
register for a new course

Me: ok its fine. Thank you so much uncle Mike.

Him: my pleasure.

I headed to the gym, worked out for 2hrs and then went to campus to study.

After my last exam I called Lwa. She finished 2 days before me

Lwa: hey baby

Me: Sthandwa sam, unjani?

Her: I'm good and you? How did you write?

Me: I wrote well. I'm gonna come pick you up. Come stay with me for a while.
Ndikukhumbule muntu wam (I miss you)

Her: lol ok

I went to see X while I waited for Lwa. Their reses are close to each other

X: sho ntwana

Me: sho bruh

X: uzifihlile (you are hiding yourself) neh or the wife is keeping you busy?

Me: lol not even bruh. She is only gonna start keeping me busy from today

Him: uzwile ukuthi (did you hear that) uLunga got kicked out his faculty?

Me: yeah. I don't give a fuck though. Its not like he is expelled

Him: his bursary only covers for the EMS faculty. If he gets kicked out the faculty
then he loses it and can't study anymore
Me: ntwana I don't care. I really don't. He should have thought about that before
doing what he did

Him: we all make mistakes bruh. I know about what he did. He told me and he feels
bad about it

Me: he doesn't feel bad about it, he only cares about what he did now because its
gonna cost him his education

Lwa texted me to tell me he is done so I picked her up, grabbed pizza and headed to
the flat. I needed to sleep because I didn't sleep the night before. I got in bed while
she watched TV and dosed off. I was woken up by a call from private number

Me: hmmmm

Lunga: meet me at Small street in 20mins

Me: uyanya (you are crazy)

I hung up, switched off my phone and continued with my sleep. Who does that idiot
think he is, busy throwing demands all over the place. I'm not his friend anymore and
he knows that pretty well. I woke up after 6, took a quick shower then wore Nike
shorts and no T-shirt. It was summer so it was super hot. I found my baby making
dinner for us. I hugged her from behind and she smiled. She turned around and we
kissed. I put her on the kitchen counter and continued with our kiss. She eventually
broke the kiss

Lwa: lol I'm cooking here Atha, go watch soccer or something

I smacked her ass and went to watch TV. When she was done cooking, we had sex
on the couch, the floor and the kitchen counter. 3 steamy rounds. Spontaneous sex
is the best sex ever. Not this thing of taking your girl to the bedroom all the time.
That's how girls lose interest. We took a shower together then slept. When I woke up
I was horny and my condoms finished last night. Ndazxelela ukba andizoya egarage
(I just told myself that I won’t go to the garage), I'd rather pull out. I woke Lwa up but
she wasn't trying to entertain me. I know my girl well enough, she loves sleep but
she loves sex as well. I touched the right places and she was turned on

Lwa: condom Athandwe

Me: I'll pull out baby

Her: you better

We got down and dirty and it was great. When it was time to pull out, I didn't have
the strength. That's how good it was

Her: and then? What happened to pulling out?

Me: askies baby. I got caught up in the moment. We will get the pill later.

We showered, went go-cart racing then bought meat because the guys wanted to
have a braai. When Thabiso asked about Lunga, even I got pissed off. Lwa walked
away

Me: and then what the fuck was that?

Thabs: mjita Lunga is still our friend and there is nothing wrong with asking about
him

Me: usisbhanxa wena (you are a fool). Lunga is your friend not mine nxa

I went to check on Lwa. Later the guys and I went out. We went to Coobah and had
a few drinks. Lunga walked in and came to our table.

Lunga: sho sho majita

Them: sho bruh

I kept quiet and I felt my blood boiling but I kept my composure

Lunga: ngcela ukringa nawe Atha (can I talk to you)

Me: andfuni (no)

Him: its important

Me: important to me or important to you?

Him: the both of us

This guy was starting to annoy me. We stepped outside and he gave me his phone

Me: ndiyenze nton leKaka mna (what am I supposed to do with this shit)?

Him: press play

I pressed play and it was a video of Lwa and I having sex. It was taken from a
distance but you could see that it's us

Him: I know your family has connections on campus and I wouldn't be surprised if
you are the reason I got kicked out of the faculty but I'm not gonna dwell on that. Get
me back into the faculty by the time registration happens next year or I'm leaking this
video

I took his phone and smashed it against the wall and left. Uyandiqhela lomjita. He
thinks he can blackmail me. Clearly, he doesn't know who he is dealing with. I drove
back to the flat and found Lwa chilling with Enzo. I greeted and Enzo left a few
minutes later. I told Lwa about the blackmail and she wants me to submit to it. I'm a
man, I'm not gonna submit to another man. Threats and blackmail mean nothing to
me but when Lwa threatened to dump me if I don't give in to Lunga, that threat shook
me up a bit. Women can be stupid sometimes, everything I did, I did to protect her
but she doesn't want to see it that way. Lunga is a stupid little boy and she is acting
like he is Osama bin laden. She was pissing me off and to avoid saying something I
was going regret, I left. I called X so we can go drink at Small street but he turned
me down. Told me he will be spending time with his girlfriend. I called Thabiso and
Tshepi and they came through. We drank like crazy

Tshepi: what's wrong with you?

Me: nothing

Him: don't lie.

Me: stop asking me questions and just drink.

My phone rang and it was Lwa. To be honest, I was rude to her and some of the
things I said were unnecessary but I was angry and I was drunk. I don't know what
kind of woman my girlfriend is. Even though I told her to fuck off, she still came and
fetched me and took me home. She took care of me even though she was angry and
upset. She put her anger aside and showed me the kind of love one only expects
from a mother

When she left even though I told her that if she walks out the door, its over, I saw my
world ending. She didn't care about me anymore. She was done with me. I wanted to
stop her but I knew I couldn't. Her mind was made up. I didn't know what to do with
myself. I've never felt this broken before. It felt like a part of me just left my soul. I sat
in the same position for over an hour. I called Lwa but she ignored my calls. I
couldn't get her out of my mind. I called my cousin Aviwe

Avi: cuzzy unqabile yho (you are scarce)

Me: I could say the same about you

Her: ok you sound like someone just died. What's wrong

Me: undilahlile uLwa (Lwa broke up with me)

Her: wenzeni kalok fondin? Uyandistressa Atha (what did you do? You stressme out)

Me: its a long story Aviwe bruh. Andaz ukba ndenzeni ngok (I don’t know what to do
now). She isn't taking my calls, she isn't responding to my texts. Aviwe
ndiyamthanda lamntana (I love that girl). I can't lose her. I really can't.

Her: hamba uyomxelela. Suxelela mna ukba (go tell her. Don’t tell me that) you can't
live without her.
Insert 76

Atha's POV

Me: but what if she doesn't want to see me Avi? Then what do I do?

Avi: you keep trying. Lwa loves you cuz. She really does so nje wena keep fighting
for her.

Me: alright I will go see her. How are you though? How are you and Landile?

Her: ai things are moving slowly. Andaz nobasiyajola (I don’t know whether we are
dating) or not.

Me: yho ai we will talk kahle mandifika (properly when I’m that side) that side

Her: uzawfika nini (when are you coming)?

Me: andaz but ndizakuxelela (I don’t know but I’ll tell you) when I know

Her: alright cuzzy

We hung up and I drove to campus to see Lwa. I didn't call her to tell her I was
coming. I knocked and went in. We talked

Lwa: there is nothing left for me in Bloem

Me: that's not true. I'm still here. You can't go home when we haven't sorted things
out.

Her: what's there to sort out? Angithi wena ufuna ukuba (you want to be) uMan of the
house. You want to take decisions on your own. Decisions that affect us and when I
disagree with you wena you storm out and get drunk. Yini nje yona leyo? And then
when I call you, you tell me ukuthi angfonele uLunga wami ngihlukane nawe. uLunga
sekuwuLunga wami manje (that I must call my Lunga and leave you alone. Lunga is
mine now)?

Me: baby ndcela uxolo (I’m sorry) for the things I did. I spoke out of anger

Her: uhlezi uxolisa Athandwe. Njalo nje wena uyaxolisa kodwa nothing changes.
Ngikhathele mina Atha manje (you are always apologising. All the time, you are
apologing but nothing changes. I’m tired now). I'm tired
Me: Lwa uyandithanda and nami ndyakthanda (you love me and I love you). All
couples face challenges but they don't walk away. They solve things.

Her: yini esizoyisolva lana? Tshela mina (what will we solve here? You tell me)

Me: everything baby. I don't want to lose you. It should be us against Lunga not us
against each other.

Her: I need to finish packing so please leave.

Me: baby plea-

Her: ngicela uhambe Athandwe (please leave).

Me: ok I'm leaving but just think about it. Ndyakthanda Lwa (I love you).

I kissed her cheek and I left. I got to my car and I sat there with my head on the
steering wheel. I'm not gonna lie, I cried. I fought so hard to get this relationship,
fought even harder to keep it and now it's over because of something so stupid. I
drove to the flat and started packing nami. I mean if Lwa leaves, I'm leaving as well. I
have no reason to stay here. Aviwe called while I was packing

Me: hey cuz

Avi: how did it go? Are you guys back together?

Me: nope. Listen I'm driving home tomorrow. Ndizoya Wednesday kwaMakhulu (I’ll
go to grandmother’s house on Wednesday)

Her: alright sizawthetha (we’ll talk) when you arrive. Don't give up on her.

Me: we shall talk later cuz

I hung up, finished packing and just watched TV. I was losing my mind. I wanted my
girlfriend back so badly. I wanted her to be right her with me. I called her and luckily,
she answered

Lwa: ya Atha

Me: how are you getting to the airport ngomso?

Her: I'll take a cab or I'll ask Enzo

Me: ndicela ukuk'hambisa (can I take you there)

Her: I don't think that's a good idea. I need space Atha

Me: I understand that you need space. I just want to drive you to the airport before I
leave as well

Her: nawe uyahamba (you are also leaving)?

Me: ndizawhlalela ntoni apha (what am I going to stay here for)?

Her: ok pick me up at 7 ke

Me: alright. Ndyakthanda (I love you) Lwa

Her: bye Atha

She hung up. I went to bed and woke up at 6AM. I showered and wore navy denim
shorts, black T-shirt and black sneakers. I wore a baseball cap and shades. I packed
my bags in the car and drove off to campus. I called Lwa when I was outside and
she came out. Things were so awkward in the car.

Lwa: are you gonna go to your grandparents' house?

Me: andaz fondin. Ndzabona (I don’t know. I’ll see)

Her: oh, you must let me know if you do go

Me: I must let you know? Why?

Her: just nje.

Me: Lwandile look, I don't have time for games mna. Andinalo ixesha lokudlala (I
don’t have time to play) uTom and Jerry

Her: what's that supposed to mean?

Me: figure it out

We arrived at the airport

Me: I shall see you around

She got out the car and walked away. It hurt but I had to be strong. I'm done chasing.
I told her that this chasing game isn't for me. My pride won't let me. I drove home. A
nice long drive
Insert 77

When I got home, I went straight to my room and locked. I laid in bed and just stared
at the ceiling. I didn't want to see anyone or talk to anyone. I just wanted to be alone.
What did Atha mean when he said he doesn't want to play Tom and Jerry? He didn't
even walk me to check in. He didn't even get out the car. What if he is over me?
What if I've lost him forever? I should really stop with all this over thinking. Maybe its
not even that much of a big thing. I went to look for my niece and found her with her
mom in the kitchen

Me: woza kuAunt wakho (come to your aunt) Nana

I took her and played with her. She lightened my mood but I was still not myself

Phiwe: are you ok?

Me: I'm fine. Lwande looks so big now.

Phiwe: lol that's because she is sucking me dry

Me: lol wazicelela (you asked for it).

I took Lwande to my room and chilled with her there. I checked my phone for missed
calls but there weren't any. Lwande started crying so I gave her her bottle and
rocked her to sleep. I put her on my bed then went downstairs again

Phiwe: uselele (is she asleep)?

Me: yep. She loves her auntie

Her: lol I can see. I'm worried about you. You don't seem like your usual self

Me: I'm fine sis. I promise. When is KK coming back?

Her: on the 10th of December

Me: so far

We continued with our light conversation then we cooked supper. Later Nami and my
parents came back. I'm sure Atha was home by then but he still hasn't called. My
relationship is really over. Dinner time came, we ate and I went to my room. I
showered and wore my pyjamas and got in bed. I checked my social media and
there were no posts from Atha. I saw that Lolz was back from school. I called her
Lolz: chomam

Me: unjani chomi

Her: ndiphilile chomi and wena (I’m well and you)?

Me: ngiright chomi. Wenzani ksasa (what are you doing tomorrow)?

Her: nothing why? Ubuyile (are you back)?

Me: yeah. Ukhona uNomz (is Nomz around)?

Her: nah. Let's have lunch ngomso(tomorrow) chomi

Me: great. I will see you then

As much as Lolo, Noma and I don't talk all the time, they are still my best friends.
The love we have for each other is on another level.

I wanted to call Atha but I told myself that uyena ozofona (he will call). I slept without
realizing it.

2 weeks passed and Atha and I still haven't spoken. I was out having lunch with
Nomz and Lolz.

Me: sies mahn Noma yini loyidlayo (what are you eating). That thing smells horrible

Nomz: howu kahle wena since when do you have an issue with the smell of bacon?

Me: either that's not bacon or that bacon is rotten.

Nomz: there is nothing wrong with my bacon sisi.

That bacon smelt really bad. It made my stomach turn. I even stopped eating the
food I was eating

Lolz: are you ok? You look a bit off

Me: it's that bacon kaNoma

Lolz: andiva lutho mna (I can’t smell anything) though

Me: shuthi there is something wrong with your senses. When are we leaving?
Nomz: when we are done eating. Yin Kanti inkinga yakho today (what’s your
problem)? You are moody nje. Are you on your periods?

When she mentioned my periods, it hit me that I don't even remember the last time I
had my periods. But maybe its the stress of this breakup. Eventually we were done
and I just wanted to go home. I was exhausted

Nomz: guys I want to show you this other shoe I saw at foschini. Its to die for

Me: can't we see it some other time?

Nomz: asambe (let’s go)

We headed to foschini and bumped into Atha, Aviwe and Lihle. Avi gave me a hug. I
stopped while Nomz and Lolz continued to see the shoe

Me: hey

Them: hi

Avi: you get prettier by the day. You are even glowing.

I smiled

Me: thank you. You look gorgeous as well. It's been a while.

Her: we will catch up soon. Atha you will find us by the shoes. It was good to see you
again Lwa

She left with Lihle

Atha: so how have you been?

Me: I've been ok and you?

Him: I've been good. Avi is right, you are glowing

Me: I don't what you guys are talking about. Anyway, I miss you

Him: you do? You have a funny way of showing it

Me: wow. What's that supposed to mean?

Him: when last did you call me? When last did you text me?

Me: nawe you don't call or text

Him: because I'm tired of running after you. You know how I feel and what I want and
it was you that said you needed space. I'm just following your request

I was lost for words. I had no come back to all that.

Me: alright. I have to go.

Him: wait...do you still need your space?

Me: no. I need you

Him: are you sure?

Me: yes, I'm sure

Him: are you gonna let me handle Lunga my way?

Me: no. Give him what he wants so we can move on with our lives.

Him: I'm not gonna do that.

Me: so, you value your pride more than you value this relationship?

Him: I didn't know we were weighing the two against each other.

Lolz and Nomz came our way

Me: I will see you around.

Him: alright.

We shared a brief hug and he kissed my cheek

Him: ndyakthanda

I didn't respond. I just left and my friends followed.

Lolz: I never get used to that guy's hotness. Ai uyangibusisa (he is blessing me)
ubrothers

Me: lol oho. That's the last Xhosa guy I'll ever date.

Nomz: because that's the last man you'll ever date.

Me: kusho bani (says who)?

Nomz: kusho Mina nje. Uzobona nawe (I’m saying so. You’ll see)
We went our separate ways and when I got home I just wanted my bed. I don't even
know what got me so exhausted. I passed out the moment my head hit the pillow.
My mom woke me up for supper but I wanted to sleep more. I woke up at 11PM and
I was hungry. I went downstairs, warmed up my food and ate while I watched TV. I
finished my food but I was still hungry. I made a sandwich and warm milk then went
back to sleep. In the morning I was woken up by the urge to vomit. I rushed to my
bathroom and vomited for the longest time... Its most probably that bacon kaNoma. I
rinsed my mouth then went downstairs. My parents and my brother were at work so
Phiwe and Lwande were in the kitchen.

Me: morning.

Phiwe: morning

Me: morning my little princess. How is auntie's girl today?

I played with my niece while Phiwe made breakfast and then that horrible smell
came to me again. I handed Lwande to her mother and ran for the bathroom again. I
rinsed my mouth and went back to the kitchen

Me: what are you making? It smells horrible.

I opened the door and stood by it

Phiwe: haibo its just bacon. Are you ok?

Me: no. It smells horrible.

I took my niece and we chilled outside. I wasn't even hungry anymore. I threw up 3
more times and then it stopped. I went to take a shower, wore leggings and Atha's T-
shirt. I was really missing him.

Phiwe: you should go see a doctor.

Me: I'm not sick. There is something wrong with bacon.

Her: all bacon? Seriously?

Me: well that's the only logical explanation

Her: call your man and ask him to drive you to the doctor

Me: I don't have a man. We broke up

That's the first time I actually said that out loud without falling into pieces. Next thing I
saw Atha's car park outside and I knew Phiwe had called him so I rushed to my room
with Lwande. A few minutes later there was a knock and the door opened

Atha: hey

Me: hi

Him: I heard you are sick

Me: you heard? Just say Phiwe called you and I'm not sick

Him:

so, what's going on ke?

Me: angaz OK. Bacon just smells funny to me, I keep vomiting and I'm tired nje

Him: when was your last period?

Me: I don't even remember but I'm sure its because of all the fighting and stress that
I've been going through

Him: fuck.

Me: what?

Him: remember the morning we went go-cart racing? We had sex that morning and
we didn't use a condom and with all the fighting, I forgot to get the pills. Dammit

Me: Athandwe uthini kimi? Are you telling me that I could be pregnant?

Him: yeah. Its possible

I thought I was gonna pass out. I'm not ready to be someone's mom. I'm only 18. My
parents are gonna kill me. Nami is gonna kill me.

Him: we need to be sure before you start stressing over nothing

Me: ok ke go get pregnancy tests

Him: no. We are going to the doctor.

He took my niece and went downstairs while I changed. I wore bum shorts, vest and
flip flops. We drove to the doctor in silence
Atha: what's on your mind?

Me: nothing

Him: iyadika lawei yakho fondin (this thing of yours is annoying)

Me: ini?

Him: this thing of wanting me to drag stuff out of you

Me: I'm scared ok. I'm not ready for a child. I'm not rea-

Him: stop it. We don't even know if you are pregnant or not

We got to the doctor, registered our details and within minutes we were called in

Dr: morning guys, what can I help you with?

Atha: we need to do a pregnancy test

She handed me a cup to pee in and I did that and the nurse took it with her while we
waited. She returned with the results and gave it to the doctor.

Dr: the results say you are not pregnant but I'd like to do an ultrasound just to be
sure. Is it ok?

Atha: yeah, it's ok

I gave me a look

Me: its ok

She did the process. The doctor moved the machine thing around my tummy a few
times and then stopped

Dr: you see this little circle thing over here

Me: yeah

Dr: that's your baby

My heart nearly stopped. I was in such panic mode guys. I didn't know what to say

Atha: but the thing you just showed us is exactly the same as that one
He pointed to something similar to the one that the doctor had showed us. The
doctor took a closer look

Dr: you are right. It looks like you are having twins but we will know for sure when
time goes by. But your blood pressure is too high. You need to calm down and relax.
The first tri...

I zoned out. I was so confused and scared. Atha listened to the doctor carefully then
we left.

Atha: do you need anything?

Me: no

He drove to the park and parked there

Him: talk to me. Ndyakcela. Just talk to me. Shout, scream, swear. Do whatever just
stop shutting me out

Me: I'm not ready to be a mother Athandwe. I'm really not ready.

Him: Lwa please don't do this to me. Ndyakcela baby. Please don't do what Sno did
to me

Me: I'm not going to kill them. I just can't do it alone. I need you

Him: I'll always be there. Every step of the way. I'm scared too but I'm excited. I love
you with all my heart. And I will give Lunga what he wants just so I can have you
back. Just so our lives can move forward

Me: thank you. I love you too

Him: so, does that mean we can try again?

Me: yeah. That's what it means

He smashed his lips into mine and we shared a long kiss.

Insert 78

We kissed for the longest time. Ukuthi we are back together didn't stop my fears. My
biggest fear was disappointing my parents and my brother. Atha must have seen that
I zoned out again

Atha: baby

Me: hmmm

Him: stop thinking so much

Me: I can't help it. My parents are going to kill me. Nami is going to kill me

Him: I'm going to be there every step of the way

Me: awuhlali ekhaya Athandwe so your every step of the way is limited

He didn't respond. We sat in silence for a while. I wanted to go home and be alone at
the same time I wanted to be with him. My feelings were all over the place

Me: please take me home

Him: but baby we are not done talking

Me: ai Athandwe bruh I need to go home. I need to tell my parents. I just want to get
that part over and done with

He drove me home and I got out the car without even saying goodbye. I got in the
house, poured myself a glass of juice and sat on the high-rise chair. Nami walked in
and joined me

Nami: little sis

Me: hey

Him: what's wrong?

Me: nothing

Him: don't lie to me

Me: I will tell you when I'm ready

Him: ohk but I'm here if you want to talk

Me: thanks. Where are the parents?

Him: in their room

I knocked on my parents' room and went in. I sat on the bed next to my mom. I was
nervous as hell but I told myself that its now or never

Mom: what's wrong baby? You look a bit shaken

Me: I was at the doctor today

Dad: why what's wrong?

Guys there is no one in the world I fear more than my dad. My dad is the most
overprotective and strictest parent ever

Me: I need to talk to mom. Alone

My dad must have figured that its girl stuff so he left the room

Mom: talk to me baby. What's wrong

Me: before I tell you I just want you to know that I'm sorry. I didn't mean to disappoint
you. I would have loved to do this differently but some how things just happened at
their own pace

Her: how far along are you?

I didn't even tell her I'm pregnant but somehow, she knew where I was going with my
speech

Me: almost 10 weeks

Her: ubani ubaba wengane?

Me: Athandwe is their father

Her: their? How many are there?

Me: 2.

Her: imess ke lena. Wena ithini iplan yakho naloAthandwe wakho? You just turned
18 a few months back, you just finished your first year so you and finding a job is
something in the distant future. So, Mina ngifuna ukwazi ukuthi ithini iplan yakho?
I kept quiet because I didn't have a plan. I haven't had a chance to think of a plan. I
didn't know what way to take in moving forward

Her: are you planning on keeping the babies? Raising them yourself?

Me: abortion and adoption are not an option.

Her: how will you take care of them? Uzoyeka iskole (are you going to drop out of
school)? Are you going to look for a job? Where will they stay? Bazodlani (what will
they eat)? Lwandile raising kids isn't fun and games. Ask your brother, he knows.

Me: so, mama uthi angenzenjani (what must I do)?

Her: hlala phansi noAtha (sit down with Atha) and talk about this. Look at it from all
angles. Ask the important questions and if he has answers then you are safe, if he
doesn't then we are going to have a problem. I'm disappointed, I had big dreams for
you but kids are a blessing from God. They are a part of God's plan for you

We shared a hug and I went to my room. I'm not ready for dad to know about this. I
need to have answers to mom's questions before I take on dad's questions. I'm still
in shock. It hasn't sunk in that I'm having babies. Not just one but two. Yho how will I
even survive that?! My phone rang while I was still in my thoughts

Me: hello

Atha: hey unjani?

Me: I'm good and you?

Him: you don't sound good? Have you spoken to your parents?

Me: I spoke to mom. She was not happy at all.

Him: I can imagine

Me: can we meet up tomorrow? We need to talk about a couple of things

Him: uhm oh ok. I will tell you when I come that side. I love you guys. You and my
doubles. The Lwathandwes

Me: lol yoh ai bye bye Athandwe

He seems excited. Why can't I have his excitement? All I feel is fear and butterflies. I
looked at my tummy in the mirror and I didn't see anything. My stomach looked flat
nje as always. I turned in all directions. I don't know what I expected to see at
9weeks but I still looked.

Phiwe: lol you won't see anything for a while

Me: lol that's not what I was doing and how do you know?

Her: I was in your position a while ago. Are you excited?

Me: I don't know. I don't feel anything yet. I don't believe they are in there yet

Her: they?

Me: yep. I'm having twins

Her: woaw double blessings

Me: I guess so

Her: we will talk kakuhle ngomso (properly tomorrow). We have a lot to discuss

She left and I showered and got in bed. I touched my belly and smiled to myself

Me: goodnight babies. Mommy loves you

I slept while holding my belly

Insert 79

Atha's POV

I laid on the bed facing the ceiling with the biggest smile on my face. I'm going to be
a dad... To twins this time. I'm having babies with someone I love; can you imagine
how much those babies will be loved. I'm praying that Lwa doesn't do what Sno did
to me. The way she isn't excited at all worries me. Aviwe walked in while I was still
smiling to myself

Avi: that smile can only mean one thing

Me: lol and that one thing is?

Her: she took you back

Me: lol yes, she did and it also means one more thing

Her: spill the beans

Me: lol uthanda iindaba nawe (you like news). We went to the doctor earlier today.
Lwa is pregnant

Aviwe was shocked but in a good way. She gave me the biggest hug and jumped
around

Her: oh my gosh. I'm going to be an aunt. The cuteness of that baby will be on
another level. I can't wait

Me: so much pressure on my kids. We are having twins.

It was as if I told her I've won the lotto. She jumped around even more until my aunt
Zintle came into the room

Aunt Z: kwenzeka ntoni ngawe Aviwe? Kutheni wagxola (what’s going on with you
Aviwe? Why are you making a noise)?

Avi: ndicela uxolo dabs (I’m sorry aunt)

Her: umakhulu noSbusi balele. Phumani phandle uma nifuna ukugxola (granny and
Sbusi are sleeping. Go outside if you want to make a noise)

Avi: ewe dabs

She signaled that we go outside so we chilled on the patio.

Avi: khawuthethe mntase (talk cuz). Are you excited?

Me: I'm beyond excited fondin. Lwa and I love each other so those kids will be loved
and they will be happy.

Her: and cute. So when will you tell the rest of the family

Me: when she is at least 5 months pregnant. Phela she is in the early stages of her
pregnancy. I don't need her to be stressed

Her: ncoah look at you. Boyfriend of the year. I love it. When did you get all grown up
kodwa Athandwe?

I just laughed and we chatted more about random things until we were called for
supper. We ate then I took a shower and chilled with Lubabalo and Siviwe

Lub: what's the plan for this December guys?

Me: andaz guys. Wherever there is a vibe, we will be there.

Siv: and no girlfriends please. How will we pick up chicks when we are with our
girlfriends?

Me: wena lanto yokba muhle izokufaka engxakini (this thing of being good looking
will get you in trouble) one day

Siv: plus, ndibasiwe straight. I play it safe tho. Wena Lub are you ready for matric
next year? Iphasile lacherry yakho (did your girlfriend pass)?

Lub: which one? The yellow bone or the dark beauty?

Me: lol I give up on you guys. I'm a one-woman man. Be like me

Siv: woyika amacherry kalok wena Athandwe. Andisoze ndafana nawe (you are
scared of girls. I’ll never be like you)

Me: andoyiki muntu mna, I turn girls down. Ucinga ukba ubaswe wedwa fondin? Nah
bruh

My cousin Siviwe is my age but he studies at UCT. We almost look alike its just that
he doesn't have dimples and he has big eyes. He thinks he is the hottest one in the
family so he smashes girls all over the place and I look like a loser because I'm not a
womanizer.

Next day I woke up, washed my face and brushed my teeth. I drove Aviwe to work
then went back home, took a shower then I called Lwa

Lwa: baby

Me: mawoLwathandwe

Her: lol stop this

Me: unjani baby?

Her: I'm ok and you?

Me: ndigrand mna fondin (I’m good). I'm about to leave the house. Ndikfumane
usuready ke munt' wam (I want to find you ready)

Her: alright

I wore light blue and white striped shorts, black v-neck T-shirt, flip flops and a
straight cap facing backwards. When I got to the kitchen Sbusi and my grandma
were there

Me: molo makhulu. Molo princess (good morning granny. Good morning princess)

I kissed their cheeks

Makhulu: uyaphi usumhle kangaka (where are you off to looking so handsome)

Me: lol ndisaya eTown makhulu (I’m going to town granny)

Her: khawuhambe noSbusi. Ndifuna ukuya ecaweni mna (go with Sbusi. I want to go
to church)

Me: baphi oLubabalo noLihle (where is Lubabalo and Lihle)?

Her: bahambe noTata kaSiviwe. Bashiye loSbusi ngoba mncinci umntana (they left
with Siviwe’s dad. They left Sbusi because she is child)

Sbusi is 5 years old now. Andaz nokba eyona yiphi indawo abantwana bengangeni
kuyo (I wonder what’s this place that they went to where children are not allowed in).
I took her with me. I fastened her seatbelt and drove off.
Sbusi: siyaphi bhut' Atha (where are we going)?

Me: siyobona ingane Nana. Uyafuna ukudlala nengane (we are going to see the
baby. Do you want to play with the baby)?

Her: ewe bhuti

She played with her toy phone and doll until we got to Lwa's house. I buzzed the
gate and Phiwe opened for me. We shared a hug

Phiwe: how are you daddy to be? I see you are already practicing

Me: lol not even hey. Nana this is sis' Phiwe evha?

Sbusi: ewe bhuti. Iphi ingane (where is the baby)?

Lwa came down the stairs with Lwande and gave her to Phiwe

Me: nana nansi ingane. Igama lakhe nguLwande (here is the baby. Her name is
Lwande). Phiwe please watch her for an hour max.

Phiwe: alright but bring me something nice

Lwa: lol yho ai ask Nami to bring you something nice

Phiwe: lol you take advantage of my man all the time. It's my turn now

We laughed and Lwa and I left. She looked better than she did yesterday

Me: where do you want to have breakfast?

Lwa: anywhere where they don't serve bacon

Me: lol yho its breakfast time so they serve bacon everywhere

Her: I want waffles with ice cream, chocolate chips and syrup.

Me: for breakfast? Ai babe.

Her: let's just go to milky lane and take it from there

Who would want to have ice cream for breakfast though? This pregnancy is gonna
have a mountain load of crazy cravings. I can tell nje. The waitress came to take our
order and I ordered waffles with fruit pieces and syrup for us. Lwa complained but I
put my foot down
Me: I don't want kids with diabetes here

Her: unehaba yaz wena (you are dramatic)

Me: so how are you guys?

Her: we are good I guess.

Me: you said we have to talk. I'm listening

Her: you want us to have these babies?

Me: of course. Are you hav-

Her: and what's the plan once they get here? Where will they stay?

Me: we will get a nanny baby. My flat is a 2-bedroom flat. You can stay in res and the
kids and the nanny will stay with me. That way you can see them everyday and still
focus on school. I've thought this through baby

Her: and what about holidays? Will the nanny go home with me or you?

Me: we don't need a nanny during the holidays baby. Come on now

Her: and you will buy them clothes? Buy them food? And all the things that babies
need? Its not just one baby Athandwe. Its 2 of them and wena how will you focus on
school with crying babies there?

Me: baby let me worry about me. You don't need to worry about anything. These are
my babies as much as they are yours. I just need you to love them. Love me and all
will be fine. I promise. Just trust me

Her: and what abo-

Me: baby sthandwa sam please relax. Ndyakcela (please).

Her: I can't relax Athandwe. I really can't. I need to know that everything has been
taken care off or rather it will be taken care off.

Me: it will be. I promise. Now let's have our breakfast and get back to Lwande and
Sbusi

We ate and even though she had relaxed a bit, she was still worried but in due time I
will show her that I'm the man she can trust. The man that will do right by her and the
man that can take care of our kids. I went to spur while she went to the car. I ordered
ribs and Buffalo wings and bar one milkshake for take away.

Lwa: can I drive?

Me: yeah sure

I didn't want to be the baby daddy that stops her from doing stuff. Its still early vele.
We got to her house and I gave Phiwe the ribs and wings

Sbusi: awundiphathelanga lutho mna bhuti (you didn’t bring me anything)?

Me: I'll get you a burger when we drive home nana

I kissed her cheeks and tickled her. She jumped around and ran to hide behind
Phiwe

Phiwe: you are good with kids yaz. Yours will love you

Me: I hope so. Thank you for watching her. I need to get back home.

Lwa: already?

Me: yes baby. I will see you again during the weekend. Take good care of
oLwathandwe bami

Phiwe: lol you guys are adorbs. Let me go check on my baby.

She left and Lwa leaned in for a kiss but I backed away

Me: not in front of the child and not in your parents' house. Walk us out

She held Sbusi's hand and I put her in the back seat and buckled her up

Lwa: bye princess

Sbusi: bye bye Sis' Lwa

She then hugged me for the longest time. She didn't even want to let me go

Me: baby I will be back.

Lwa: I know but that's a thank you hug.

She let go and we kissed and she went back in the house and we drove off. I passed
by McDonald's and bought Sbusi a happy meal and she ate in the car
Me: nana ungachithi ijuice evha (don’t spill the juice)

Sbusi: ewe bhuti

Insert 80

The way Atha is so overly prepared for this parenthood thing put a bit of rest to my
soul. I was calmer now and at least I had the answers to my mom's questions. As
much as I knew that money wouldn't be an issue, I wasn't sure whether he had a
plan or not. I got back in the house and watched TV. There wasn't much to watch but
I channel hopped until I settled on watching Trace. The Meagan Trainor and John
Legend song came on and I sang along to every word while thinking of Atha. I had
promised Aviwe that we would hang out and I haven't delivered on my promise. I
called her

Avi: Lwathandwes

Me: lol not you as well.

Her: lol unjani girl

Me: I'm good and you? Let's do lunch sometime.

Her: that would be awesome. I'm so excited about the Lwathandwes

Me: you shall let me know when you are available

Her: will do.

We hung up and continued with my channel hopping

3 months later

Today was the day I was going to tell my brother and my dad that I'm pregnant. I was
showing kancane kodwa. I've been at school so they haven't seen the morning
sickness and the crazy eating. I got back home last night and this morning my
morning sickness was on some other level. I spent close to an hour with my head
facing the toilet bowl. Yho I'm never having a baby ever again. I went downstairs and
found my brother playing with his daughter. Lwande was at the giggling stage. Its so
adorable. You look at her and she starts giggle like crazy.

Me: hey my little princess. Hey Nami

Nami: hey sis. Do you want to take her? Please take her. I'm tired of making funny
faces and baby talk

I took her and sat down with her on the opposite couch

Me: lol useyakuxaka (you cant handle her now). Can we talk for a sec?

Him: sure. What's on your mind?

Me: please try not to be mad. Ngyakcela

Him: this sounds serious. Khuluma nami (talk to me) sis

Me: uhm well I don't know where to start or how to tell you so I'm just gonna blurt it
out. You are going to be an uncle

Him: what?! Yho I have nothing to say to that

He got up and walked out the door. I knew he would be mad but I didn't think he
wouldn't even let me explain. If Nami reacts like this then my dad is gonna kill me. I
always thought Nami was the cool brother, I didn't expect him to be excited but I
didn't expect him to just walk out on me. I tried playing with Lwande just to distract
myself but it didn't help. We played until she fell asleep. Nami and Phiwe don't stay
with us anymore so I just put her on my bed. I started cooking and played music to
keep myself entertained. I made lasagna and sticky wings and made a greek salad.
Then out of nowhere I was sleepy...that's another thing that annoys me about this
pregnancy. I sleep all the time. Sometimes I even fall asleep in class. School has
been going better than I thought it would. I thought I wouldn't be able to focus but
shame my babies are behaving. I took a nap next to Lwande until Nami woke me up

Nami: vuka Lwandile (wake up)

Me: hmmmm

Him: vuka kumele sikhulume (wake up we need to talk)

I followed him to his old room. Luckily Lwande didn't wake up when he woke me up. I
sat next to him and just faced down. I hate disappointing my family. It breaks my
heart to know I've let them down

Nami: how far along are you?

Me: its 4 months now

Him: ngoba ungabonakali nje ukuthi umithi (you don’t even look pregnant). Are you
sure you are pregnant?

Me: I'm sure. There are 2 people in me

Him: 2? Yho. Do the parents know?

Me: mom knows. I'm gonna tell dad later today. I'm sorry for letting you down Onami.
I know you are disappointed. I'm sorry

Him: I am disappointed but what's done is done. Just know that it won't be an easy
journey. Kuzoba nzima(its going to be tough) baby sis. I can't picture you as a
mother though.

Me: I can't picture myself either but time will tell if I'll ever get used to the idea

Lwande started crying and I went to get her. We bonded nje just the 3 of us then
Nami had to leave

Me: pass my greetings to Phiwe. Tell her I miss her like crazy

Him: will do.

I chilled by myself until dad came back. I greeted and went to chill in my room. I
played candy crush and checked instagram and saw that Atha had posted a pic of
the scans we got at our last doctor's visits. All the comments were from people who
were happy for him and some were of people who were surprised. I just liked the pic
and commented with a yellow heart. I haven't been public about my pregnancy yet
because I want to protect my kids from people who are not happy for us. As I was
busy on my phone, my dad walked in

Dad: uright?

Me: yebo baba

Him: Lwandile Mina nawe (you and i) we have a close relationship angithi?

Me: yebo baba

Him: manjeke yini eyenza ukuthi ungangitsheli ukuthi usumithi (now what stopped
you from telling me that you are pregnant)?
My heart stopped for a sec. How does he know and why has he been so quiet?

Him: khuluma phela Lwandile. Angithi uyakwaz ukukhuluma wena (speak. You know
how to talk)

Me: I didn't know how to tell you. Bengisaba (I was scared)

My voice was soft and shaky. I was scared. What if he gives me a beating and
sisodwa endlini (we are alone in the house)

Him: ngizwile futhi ethi umama wakho wena noAthandwe nifuna izingane zihlale nani
eBloem. Into engeke yenzeke leyo (I heard your mother saying that you and
Athandwe want the babies to stay in Bloem. That won’t happen)

Me: kodwa baba Mina angifuni ukyeka iskole nje (but dad I don’t want to drop out of
school)

Him: ngeke usyeke iskole. Izingane zizohlala lana (you won’t drop out of school. The
babies will stay here)

My dad was being unreasonable. Nami is raising his child. Why can't I raise mine?

Me: that's unfair kodwa baba. We have the means to do it. We can raise our kids

Him: those kids will be in Bloemfontein for 2 months bese ziza lana. That's the final
say

He got up and left. I know Athandwe ngeke ayivume nje lento (won’t agree to this). If
by some miracle uyayivuma (he agrees), I know we will be home every weekend to
see the kids. Phela uAthandwe akafuni lutho ngeyngane zakhe(you can’t touch Atha
on his kids). I remained calm and told myself that its still early days vele. There is no
need for me to stress. Mom came home and we had supper then I went to shower
and got in bed. As I was holding my tummy I felt something weird. It felt like strong
butterflies. It wasn't painful but it was weird and strange to me. It happened again
and I panicked. I ran to my parents' room and found my mom alone

Me: mom something is wrong with my babies. Please take me to the hospital

I was almost in tears and full of panic

Mom: calm down. What's wrong? Uzwani (what are you feeling)?
I told her what I felt and I even put her hand on my tummy and she felt it too. It was
like I had told her the best joke ever. She was cracking up like there is no tomorrow

Me: mom this is no time for jokes. Get ready and take me to the hospital

Her: there is nothing wrong with your kids. They are kicking. Its what babies do. Its
nothing worth worrying about

I laughed at myself for being so stupid. That should have been my first thought. I
went back to my room and tried getting used to the feeling. The feeling I felt was
undescribable. I felt joy, love completeness and pure happiness. I called Atha to tell
him

Atha: mama woLwathandwe

I had finally gotten used to that. It was way better than being called a chocolate
chicken

Me: guess what just happened

Him: tell me.

Me: they kicked for the first time today.

Him: really? That's so awesome. I'm sad that I missed it

Me: you still have lots of time to feel it. I was scared at first but now I'm enjoying it

We went on about the babies kicking until I ran out of airtime. He sent me R60
airtime and a goodnight text.
Insert 81

Atha's POV

It sucked that I missed my babies' first kick especially because I wanted to be there
for every moment. Before and after they are born. I can't believe that its 5 more
months then I will get to meet my babies. I refer to them as my babies because we
still don't know the sex of the babies because it's still early. After my call with Lwa I
decided to sleep. I was going to be seeing her the next day because I also want to
feel oLwathandwe kick. I was woken up by a call from my mom. I checked the time
and it was 6AM

Me: mama

Mom: kunjani (how are you) Athandwe

Me: ndikhona mama kunjani (I’m fine and you mama)?

Her: andikho right mna. Usulibele ukba unomama kalok (I’m not fine. Have you
forgotten that you have a mother)?

Me: hayi mama yintoni ngok (no mama, what’s wrong now)?

Her: when last were you here? When last did I see you? Every time its holidays, you
stay a day or two with us and then its off to the township. I haven't even met the
mother of your kids kodwa omakazi bakho (but your aunts) know her on a first name
basis.

Me: I will bring Lwa to come meet you ma. I spend most of my time this side because
she lives this side

Her: umlethe (bring her) this afternoon

Me: but ma-

Her: no buts Athandwe

She hung up and I just threw my head on the pillow. My mom can be impossible at
times. I still wanted to sleep more but I couldn't. I woke Siviwe up because I was
bored

Siv: ai mjita khawume mahn (hold on)

Me: vuka ndoda ndidinga ifavor (wake up, I need a favour)

Him: ufuna nton fondin (what do you want)

Me: ndifuna undkhaphe ndiye kumama (I want you to accompany me to mom’s

house)

Him: yho ai andizokhona (I won’t be able to) bruh. I have plans mna

Me: come on bruh. Please

Him: eish ok ke. If you will let me drive

Me: sho ntwana.

We stayed up until we were called for breakfast. I washed my face and brushed my
teeth then went to eat.

Makhulu: unjani uMama wabantwana bakho (how is the mother of your children)
Athandwe

Me: uphilile makhulu (she is well granny).

Her: uzomzisa nini apha ndizombona futhi (when will you bring her here for me to
see her)?

Me: andaz makhulu (I don’t know granny). Maybe ngeweekend

Her: ok. Ndimthandile lamntana. Ukulungele. Seniyaz ukba zinkwenkwe or zintombi

abantabakho (I like that girl. She is good for you. Do you know if the babies are boys
or girls)?

Me: hayi makhulu asikazi (no granny we don’t know yet)

My grandma really likes Lwa. She asks me about her every second day. Now I just
hope my mom won't be problematic. I know how my mom can be towards people
that aren't wealthy like her and my dad. She is my mom and I love her but she can
be a little snobbish. After breakfast I called Lwa

Lwa: morning baby daddy

Me: morning baby mama

Her: lol unjani

Me: I'm good and you?

Her: I'm good too. OLwathandwe are good too

Me: that's good. Uhm baby my mom wants to meet you this afternoon.

Her: but your mom knows me. Well not as your girlfriend but she knows me

Me: well she wants to talk to us about the kids and stuff. If you can, ask Lolo to come
as well. I'm going to be with my cousin so I don't want him to be on my case

Her: ok I will talk to her.

We hung up and I took a shower, dressed and told Siviwe we should get going. I let
him drive my car and he was having the time of his life. I gave him directions to
Lwa's house and when we got there I buzzed the gate. It was Saturday so I knew her
parents would be there. They have sort of gotten used to the idea of Lwa and I
having kids. Even her dad isn't mean to me anymore. Kalok there was a time when
he wouldn't even allow me to see Lwa until we've paid damages and her mom would
shoot me with 21 questions every time I went there.

I walked in and found them sitting in the lounge

Me: molweni

Them sawbona mfana

Me: ninjani

L's dad: siyaphila wena unjani (we are fine and you)

Me: ndiphilile tata. Ndisacela uLwandile (I’m well. I’m looking for Lwandile)

He called out for her and she and Lolo came. I said my goodbyes and left

Me: this gets scarier every time

Lwa: my parents are over it now. You should relax.

Me: easier said then done. Lolo unjani?

Lolo: ndiphilile wethu wena unjani (I’m well and you)

Me: ndigrand. Lolo take front seat. Lwa and I will take the backseat
We got in the car and drove to my parents' house

Lolo: khanimeni (hold on) guys, Atha are your parents the mafia?

Me: lol no man. Khasingeneni (let’s go in)

I opened the gate and door with my key and we walked in and found my mom in the
kitchen. There was a lovely aroma in the house

Siv: molo makazi (hello aunt)

She hugged all of us and we sat down in the lounge

Mom: my long-lost sons. Niphilile kodwa (are you well)?

Me: ewe mama. Mama lo nguLwandile and this is her friend Lolothando. Guys this is
my mom

Mom: nguLwandile omithiyo (Lwandile is the pregnant one)?

Me: ewe mama

Mom: she doesn't look pregnant. Are you sure she is pregnant?

Me: ewe I'm sure mama.

Mom: anizonginceda ekitchen bonontombi (come help me in the kitchen girls)

Lwa and Lolo followed my mom to the kitchen and Siv and I chilled in the lounge

Siv: hey mjita where is Lu?

Me: andaz (I don’t know). He should be here.

I went to Lu's room to look for him and I found him passed out. I tried waking him up
and it was a struggle.

Lu: yini ngok Athandwe. Ufuna ntoni (what’s wrong? What do you want)?

Me: uSiviwe ufuna ukukbona (Siviwe wants to see you)

I left him there and he later joined us in the lounge. Then lunch was served. I sensed
tension between Lwa and my mom but I didn't confront it

Mom: so Athandwe are you going to bring my grand babies to come stay with me?
Me: uhm no. They are going to stay with us in bloem. All you need to do is pay for
the nanny

Mom: uphambene (you are crazy). UseBloemfontein ngoba uyafunda and uzofunda
njani nabantwana abakhalayo (you are in Bloem because you are studying. How are
you going to study with crying children there)? When those babies are born, you will
bring them here

Me: andisoze ndiyivume lonto mna (I won’t agree to that). I want them to be with me
at all times. They need their mom as well

Lwa was quiet and distant the whole time. I'm sure my mother must have said
something to her while they were in the kitchen.

Mom: what mother? We will pay damages and the child will be ours

Lu: yho mama you failed to raise your own kids properly now you want to mess up
Athandwe's kids. Khawuyeke enze into yakhe (let him do his own thing).

My brother doesn't have time to sugarcoat things. He tells my mom where to get off
all the time. She says he doesn't respect her and I just say he keeps it real

Mom: wena Lwandile uthini ngalento? Uzofunda njani abantwana bephambi kwakho
(Lwa what do you say about this? How will you study with children in your space)?

Lwa: if I fail, my parents are there to help out.

Mom: your family? Akusibo abantwana bakokwenu aba (these are not your family’s
children). I'm taking them. Finish and klaar

Lwa: over my dead body.

She took my car keys and headed for the door. I got up to go after her but I soon
heard my car drive off and I knew she was pissed

Me: uyadika (you are annoying) sometimes mama. You called us here so you could
insult my girlfriend? The mother of my kids. What kind of person are you?

Mom: she isn't good enough for you my boy. Andimthandi lamntana Athandwe.
Akanambheko tu (I don’t like that girl. She is disrespectful)
Lu: uzaba nembheko njani umntana bantu (how will she be respectful) when you
want to take her kids away from her. Khawucinge nawe (just use your brain) mama
for once.

Mom: Athandwe its either you let me raise those kids or you will pay the nanny
yourself. I will not contribute a cent to the raising of those kids. I will not allow you to
let my grand babies grow up in poverty.

She got up and left. There was so much tension in the air and I was worried about
Lwandile. I tried calling her and she didn't answer

Me: Lu I swear to God if anything happens to Lwa and my kids, I will hate your
mother for as long as I live.

After an hour the door opened and I rushed to it and it was my dad.

Dad: what's going on?

I told him everything and he was pissed. He went to his room and we didn't hear
anything after that. My parents' room is sound proof so its impossible to hear
anything. I asked for Lolo's phone and called Lwa again and she answered

Me: baby are you ok? Where are you?

Lwa: I'm fine. I'm just clearing my head. I'm on my way back there now. I will call you
when I'm outside.

After 10 mins or so she called and we all went outside. We said our goodbyes to Lu
and we left. I didn't want to say anything while Siviwe and Lolo were in the car but I
could tell she wasn't ok and it pissed me off how my mom had behaved. What kind of
mother would want to take another mother's kids away from her?
Insert 82

From the moment she opened her mouth, I could tell that Atha's mom didn't like me
but I kept my composure. We got to the kitchen and she started ordering us around
like crazy. Lolz and I would steal glances at each other but wouldn't say anything

A's mom: can you even cook wena Lwandile?

Me: yes, I can

Her: yet you are so skinny. I still don't believe that you are pregnant. I'm sure you are
just pretending to be pregnant with the hope that my son will marry you

Lolz: Lwa would never do that. She and Atha love each other

A's mom: we shall see how long that love will go on for. So Lwandile what do your
parents do?

Me: my dad is an electrical engineer at transnet and my mom is a social worker

She had a disgusted look on her face but I just told myself that I'm doing this for Atha
so I won't embarrass him. Which person in their right mind would pretend to be
pregnant?

Her: social worker? Yho. When are you even due?

Me: I'm due end of August

Her: good. When you give birth, I want those kids to come live with me. I will not
have my grandkids raised on a social worker's salary

My blood was boiling. This woman didn't only just insult me but now she has insulted
my mother as well

Me: I think we are done here unless there is more that you want us to do

Her: that's it. So, do we have an understanding regarding the kids?

I ignored her and just placed the casserole dishes with food on the table then we all
sat down. We had the lunch and I just couldn't wait to get out of there. How could
such a cruel and snobbish woman raise such a sweet, humble and caring son. When
she told Atha that she won't have her grand babies raised in poverty, that's when my
composure went out the window and I lost it. I took Atha's car keys and drove around
until I found a park. I chilled in the car and watched this couple that was pushing their
twin baby girls on the swing. I brushed my tummy lightly and oLwathandwe kicked. I
was pissed off but feeling their little kicks put a smile on my face. I've never really
spoke to them apart from the occasional "I love you babies". I took this opportunity to
talk to them

Me: how are you guys doing in there? I hope you guys are happy because daddy
and I love you guys so much and we will always protect you from anything and
anyone. I can't wait to meet you guys and hold you in my arms. I love you more than
words could every begin to describe. It is only you two that know how my heart
sounds from the inside.

I didn't care whether that woman is their grandmother or not but I don't want her
anywhere near my children. She doesn't deserve to even get to know them. I
continued to rub my stomach until I was interrupted by a phone call. I checked the
called ID and it was baba woLwathandwe. I didn't answer because I wasn't ready to
face him. Suddenly I was craving the McDonald's strawberry conerto mcflurry ice-
cream and that's my least favorite ice-cream but these kids wanted it in my stomach.
I drove to McDonald's and ordered the ice-cream and chicken nuggets then ate in
the parking lot. The moment I opened the nuggets, I felt like throwing up. I quickly
put them away and ate the ice-cream. Atha called again using Lolz's phone and I
answered then I drove back to that house but I didn't go in. After saying our
goodbyes to Lu, we drove home. The drive home was awkward and silent. Atha
looked like he had something to say but couldn't say it.

Atha: Siv ntwana please drop Lwa and I in town while you go drop off Lolo.

Siv did as he was told. Atha held my hand and we walked to Reggie's. The silence
was still there but there wasn't much awkwardness. He took a trolley and I was
surprised

Me: what's with the trolley?

Him: I want to get a couple of baby things.

Me: its still way to early and getting baby things early could be a sign of bad luck
Him: ok then I'm gonna leave it. We need to talk. I just don't know where we can sit
down though

Me: let's go to mugg and bean. I'm craving cake

He agreed. We got there and I placed my cake order and he just ordered a
milkshake.

Him: babe I'm sorry about my mom's behavior. I should have warned you about how
she can be

Me: I don't want to talk about your mother Athandwe because I don't want to say
things I'll end up regretting

Him: we have to talk about it. I'm in your corner here. I want to know what she said to
you while you guys were in the kitchen. I could sense tension after you guys sat
down for lunch

I wanted to tell him but the I didn't want him to end up feeling like he has to pick
sides. I'm going to be a mom soon and I'd never want my kids to have to choose
between me and the person they love

Me: it doesn't matter. I'm over it now. I promise you. Nawe ke let it go please

Him: I can't let it go. When you are upset, oLwathandwe feel it and I don't want to
lose them because my mother is stressing you out. So just tell me so I can deal with
it

I ended up telling him everything. I mean, what other choice did I have?

Him: so, she went as far as insulting your parents... I'm ashamed to call her my
mother

This is why I didn't want to tell him. I didn't want the perception that he has of his
mother to change. We sat in silence until I finished my cake and then waited for
Siviwe

Him: ndyakthanda Lwandile and nothing and no one will ever change that.

I smiled to myself and then the babies kicked. They caught me surprise and I let out
a little squeal
Him: what's wrong baby

I took his hand and gently placed it over my belly. They kicked and I could see the
joy in his eyes. He was even teary.

Me: don't cry now. It's just little kicks nje

Him: its more than just little kicks. I've been waiting to feel this for the longest time

A kid passed us, I think he was 12 or 14. Atha asked him to take pics of us and the
kid agreed. He took about 20 pictures before Siviwe showed up. Atha was still
smiling ear to ear

Siv: and then wena? What's with the smiley face

Atha: I just experienced real true love.

Siv: yho ai you are crazy ndoda. I'm not even going to ask further

Soon I was dropped off at home. Atha walked in with me so he could tell my parents
that I'm back home safely. We said our goodbyes and he left. I made a cheese
sandwich with juice, ate then went shower. I chilled on the bed still wrapped in a
towel. I looked at myself in the mirror and stared at my little baby bump. After a few
minutes I got dressed and got in bed. I called baby daddy

Atha: sthandwa sam

Me: nihambe kahle (did you have a safe trip)?

Him: lol haw, no how are you?

Me: lol ngyaz ukuthi uright nje (I know you are fine)

Him: lol sihambe kahle (we had a safe trip) babe.

Me: that's good. I just called to say goodnight. I'm so sleepy

Him: goodnight guys. I love y'all. To the moon and back

Me: we love you too daddy.

We hung up and I dozed off to dreamland

Insert 83

The way I've been hiding my pregnancy is on some other level and knowing that my
stomach is growing at its own pace made it easy. The only people that know are my
family, my 2 besties and Atha's family. I haven't even told Enzo but now that we are
back in bloem, I'm gonna tell him. After my classes ended I called him

Enzo: buddy

Me: bae

Him: unjani muntu kaAtha

Me: I'm good and wena muntu ka...

Enzo was still not dating. He'd have a few flings here and there but no serious
girlfriend just yet

Him: lol uyaphapha yaz. Are you good though?

Me: I'm good. What time do your classes end? I want us to hang out

Him: I'm done for the day. I can pick you up now

Me: make it 10mins from now

I headed back to res, took a quick shower and dressed warmly then Enzo picked me
up

Me: let's get pizza buddy

Him: the meaty triple decker

Me: if it has bacon then hell no

Bacon still smelled crappy to me. I couldn't stand the smell of it

Him: since when don't you eat bacon?

Me: lol I'll tell you when we get to your res

We got our pizza and headed for CUT. We ate the pizza from the box and had
coffee. Well he had coffee and I had tea

Him: no bacon and now no coffee, is this part of your new diet?
Me: lol sort of. I have news buddy

Him: don't tell me Atha proposed

Me: lol no. You are going to be a godfather. Atha and I are expecting twins

He choked on his pizza, that's how shocked he was.

Him: what? You guys are having babies? Wow. I didn't see that one coming.
Congratulations buddy. This means more holes on my pockets but I'm happy for you
guys

Me: we are happy too. I can't wait to meet them

Him: your tummy is so tiny. How far along are you? A month or 2?

Me: almost 5 months

Him: woaw ai I can't wait as well. Those will be the cutest tiny humans ever

Me: lol you watch too much grey's anatomy buddy

We had our pizza and then later he drove me to Atha's place. I had my own key so I
just opened and found him passed out on the couch with a textbook in his hand. I
kissed his cheek and he woke up

Atha: hey baby, I wasn't expecting you.

Me: I know. I just thought I'd surprise you. Were you studying?

Him: sort of. Now I'm hungry though and I know you are as well

Me: I had pizza with Enzo so I'm good

Him: you know that won't last long. I'm going to small street. You wanna come?

Me: nah I'm good. Please bring me dunked wings and zinger wings

Him: lol I knew you were gonna want something. 4 each?

Me: 8 each

He gave me a look and I gave him an unimpressed look. He raised his hands in the
air then left. I watched Disney channel while I waited for him. He returned after a few
minutes with my wings and our food. I grabbed the dunked wings first and dug in.
Him: these babies are making you crave cartoons as well?

Me: lol uyaphapha yaz

I playfully hit him with the remote

Him: baby eat the food first then ugqibe ngamaWings.

Me: I'm not hungry yet

Him: kodwa uyatya. I give up

He knows better than to argue with me during this pregnancy. Especially when it
comes to my eating habits. We have our next doctor's visit in a week and we are
finding out the sex of the babies. I'm beyond excited.

The week passed by quickly and my doctor's visit is this afternoon after Atha's last
class. It started raining while I was waiting for him so I changed into black boyfriend
jeans, white T-shirt and white hoodie with white Adidas sneakers. When we got to
the doctor she did the scan and I listened to my babies' heart beats. I wanted to
make sure that there are still 2 babies in there.

Dr: would guys like to know the sex of the babies?

Me: yes, but I know its girls

Atha: I say its a girl and a boy

The doctor just laughed and moved the scan thing around then stopped

Dr: that's baby number 1 and he is a boy and over here is baby number 2 and he is
also a boy. So, you guys are having sons

Atha: doc do you have dietary restrictions for this lady over here? She eats too much
junk

Dr: I will draw it up for you.

Even though my wish didn't come true, I'm still happy because I'm having 2 healthy
baby boys. I was not so pleased about the dietary restrictions but I accepted them.
We settled the bill and left. As much as I'm still on my mom's medical aid, I don't
want to use it for the baby stuff. We told her we have a plan and I want to show her
that our plan is effective.
I was going to be spending the weekend at Atha's place. Its Thursday today and I
don't have classes on Friday but Atha does. We drove to his flat, I cooked and we
ate while watching TV.

Atha: are you disappointed that we aren't having girls?

Me: nope. I love my boys. All 3 of you

Him: lol me included?

Me: lol you especially

We shared a long passionate kiss and I felt myself feeling some type of way. I took
his plate from him and placed it on the coffee table then I climbed on top of him and
continued with the kiss. He stopped me

Him: baby you are gonna turn me on

Me: that's a good thing. I miss you

Him: I don't want to hurt the babies

Me: lol they will be fine.

We had 2 heated rounds on the couch and then took a shower together. He wanted
to study because he has a test on Monday so I just chilled in the room. I called my
mom to tell her the news

Mom: my baby

Me: hey mommy

Mom: unjani Princess

Me: I'm good. I have news. We found out the sex of the babies today

Her: and? Am I having more granddaughters or am I finally having a grandson?

Me: you are having grandsons

Her: that's great baby. But you know that snobbish woman is going to want to take
them, right? Especially since they are boys

Me: ngiyaz mama but I won't let her. Uthi uAtha they will be paying damages in July
Her: ok Nana. Thank you for letting me know

We hung up and I fell asleep. I was woken up by Atha rubbing my belly. I didn't want
to show him that I'm awake so I pretended as if I was still asleep

Atha: baby are you up?

I didn't respond

Him: hello baby boys. This is your dad. I hope you guys are not getting fat in there
since your mom feeds you so much junk. You guys are going to be the cutest,
happiest and most loved babies in the whole world. Even though I know mommy
won't let me but I'm going to spoil you guys like crazy. I love you so much little
angels and I thank God everyday for meeting your mom and having you guys.

He kissed my belly and I couldn't help but smile. He must have seen me smiling

Him: lol its rude to eavesdrop Lwandile

Me: lol I couldn't disturb that moment. It was too precious.

He snuggled in bed with me and we fell asleep. Next day he woke up early because
he had class. He came to kiss my cheek before he left and I woke up

Him: I'm leaving mawabo

Me: already?

Him: yeah. There is breakfast in the fridge and the microwave. Start with the food in
the fridge please then the one in the microwave. Stay away from the junk.

He knew he was wasting his time with that "stay away from the junk" comment. I
woke up after he left, washed my face and brushed my teeth then went to the
kitchen. I found a fruit salad in the fridge and yogurt. I mixed the 2 and ate then in the
microwave I found bread, avo slices, eggs and cheese. I dug in and had tea.
Insert 84

1 MONTH BEFORE DUE DATE

My parents and I agreed that it would be best if I take the second half of the year off
because they want me to give birth closer to home. Atha wasn't particularly happy
about this but he accepted it. Its Friday today and I'm all alone since my parents
went to work. My stomach is so big now, sekuyabonakala that I'm carrying 2 boys. I
can't even paint my toenails or put on my shoes without help from someone else. I'm
always wearing slippers now. My phone rang and it was Atha

Me: baby

Him: sthandwa sam. Ninjani?

Me: we are good. I'm still getting kicked all the time so the boys are definitely good.
How are you?

Him: I miss you. Not having you here is killing me.

Me: I miss you too but its Friday so I know you are coming to see us

Ever since school opened, Atha comes home to see me every weekend.

Him: there is no doubt about that. My family is coming to pay the damages tomorrow
so please let your parents know but I'm also going to call your dad myself

Me: alright I will let them know. I will see you later babe

We hung up and I took a long bubble bath. I soaked myself in bath foam for a long
time then I wore leggings and a long maternity top and my gown. July is the coldest
month of the year and me and coldness don't go together. I went downstairs and
made soft porridge with margarine and peanut butter then ate in front of the TV. I
must have fallen asleep because I was woken up by little kisses all over my face. I
opened my eyes and Lwande was in front of me

Lwande: sapona yanti

Me: hello princess.

I hugged her and she climbed on the couch.

Me: uhamba nobani?

Her: baba

She can't speak properly yet so its a miracle that we can understand her at times.
Nami walked into the room

Nami: damn you are huge. Kanti when are these boys getting here?

Me: I'm not huge. My tummy is huge. I'm due on the 28th of August

him: still have a whole month to go. Uzobastrong. Please watch Alwande for an hour
or so. I have to go back to work.

Me: alright

Him: will you manage though?

Me: yeah, I will

He said bye to his daughter and I made her a peanut butter and jam sandwich with
juice and she ate then took a nap. I was also hungry but there was nothing in the
house that I wanted. I called Atha because I knew he was on his way here

Atha: babe

Me: usukuphi?

Him: I'm in town getting you something to eat. I will be there in 20mins. What's up?

Me: never mind

Him: lol you wanted food neh? I know you now

We hung up and 20minutes late he arrived with steers ribs and chips, KFC zinger
wings and chicken fold over. He kissed my cheek and my belly and we sat in the
kitchen

Me: so much food

Him: kalok bendingayaz ukba ufuna nton so I got everything

Me: thank you babe

I made myself tea and I poured him juice. We ate the food together except for the
zinger wings. He knows he can't touch those.
Him: I was thinking we should go shopping

Me: for me?

Him: lol no. For my boys

Me: mxm hamba wedwa ke

Him: lol ndyadlala baby. For you as well.

Me: I'm babysitting Lwande right now so I can't leave her. We can go tomorrow

Him: tomorrow is the damages thing and I don't know how long it will be.

I thought about taking Lwande with us but then she will be restless if I wake her up. I
called her Godfather and I had my fingers crossed that he wouldn't be at work

Laa: hey beautiful

Me: hey Laa unjani?

Him: I'm good and you?

Me: I'm good. Are you at work?

Him: I'm working from home today.

Me: do you mind watching your Goddaughter for a while. I will pick her up later

Him: you can bring her

I hung up and packed Lwande's things while Atha went to fetch her. He didn't wake
her up until we got to Landile's place. We dropped her off then drove to town. I
remembered how draining it was when we went baby shopping with Phiwe.

Atha: where do we start?

Me: what are we getting first? Are we getting everything or just clothes?

Him: everything. I want to do this once off.

Me: what's the budget?

Him: R15 000

I gave him a shocked look. 15 grand for babies. Ai I need a 15 grand budget for my
clothes

Him: ok ke just don't go over R20 000

Me: you think I'm shocked because I think R15 000 isn't enough? That's not why I'm
shocked. I doubt we will even get to R10 000

We started at baby boom and bought cots, car seats, pram and baby rockers. The
store people agreed to deliver the stuff on Monday because we didn't have space in
the car for all that. Next stop was Woolworths and we bought a lot of clothes, baby
bags, booties and hats. By the time we were done at Woolie's I was exhausted

Atha: udiniwe ngok?

Me: yeah, I'm exhausted.

Him: ok let's get the bottles and stuff at Reggie's then we will leave. What we don't
have now, we will get later on

We got to Reggie's and he was just throwing everything in.

Me: put the sippy cups back, they won't need them until they are 6 months old

When we were done I did the calculations and everything amounted to R14 000. The
only reason for that is that he didn't want us to buy affordable things. He wanted the
best for his boys. We went to pick up Lwande who was now awake and bonding with
her godfather

Me: asambe Lwande. Thank you for watching her Laa

Laa: my pleasure. Pregnancy suits you yaz. You are glowing

Me: lol thank you

The drive home wasn't long. Atha helped carry the stuff to the nursery and I just left it
there. Phiwe came to fetch her daughter and they left.

Atha: let's chill in your room. I don't feel comfortable chilling in the lounge as if we
own the house

My room is upstairs and getting up and down the stairs requires so much energy.
When we got to my room, I threw myself on the bed and he gave me a foot rub
Atha: so, have you thought of any names? They can't be called oLwathandwe even
when they are born.

Me: I was thinking Alwakhe and Awakhe

Him: meanings?

Me: Alwakhe uthando lwethu and Awakhe umndeni wethu

Him: wow baby that's beautiful. I love those names

Me: and did you think of any?

Him: Amukelwe and Yamkela. Short for Amukelwe ezweni and Yamkela isipho sethu

Me: Alwakhe Amukelwe and Awakhe Yamkela Dlamini

Him: I know our parents will want to add on to that but we will find out tomorrow what
they come up with. Sthandwa sam I have to get going ngok. Ndizokbona ngomso.
Ndyakthanda. Ndyanthanda

He kissed my forehead and my belly and I walked him out. My mom came home a
few minutes after Atha had left. She saw the baby stuff in the nursery and called me
to the room

Me: ma

Mom: when did you guys buy these things?

Me: today

Her: we have to take them to Onami's place.

Me: what for?

Her: you are a first-time mother, you have the excitement so you are going to want to
keep taking the stuff out and looking at it and that could be bad luck.

My mom is too cultural sometimes but I respected her wishes and told her we can
take the stuff to Nami's place on Sunday

Her: you guys still haven't come up with names? Because your father and I have

Me: lol what name did you come up with?

Her: Siyabulela and Siyabonga.

I liked them. They were straightforward and not complicated

Me: Alwakhe Amukelwe Siyabonga and Awakhe Yamkela Siyabulela.

Her: you guys came up with strong names. I like them

I told her about the damages thing that's happening tomorrow and she was excited. I
took out the tags from my babies' clothes and backed them neatly into the baby
bags. I put the rest of the stuff in my mom's room.
Insert 85

Atha's POV

Today my family is going to Lwa's family to pay damages. My grandma says there
has to be walking cows as well but because Lwa's family lives in the suburbs, they
can't slaughter cows there. We agreed that the cows will be substituted with cash.
My dad, Aviwe's dad and Lulonke will be handling it. I have to be there as well.

I woke up bright and early, took a bath and went to eat breakfast. I found my whole
family in the dining room

Me: molweni

Them: molo

I sat down to eat and then my mom walked in. She greeted and sat down

Mom: so how much are you paying for the damages?

Uncle: R25 000

Mom: what? That is too much

Uncle: sulibala ukba zinkwenkwe eza and zimbili

Mom: its still too much but ke do it your way

Makhulu: sungena iindaba zamadoda Andiswa. Uthanda ukthetha igxaki yakho

My mom kept quiet and after breakfast we left. My mom wasn't supposed to come
but she forced her way and we just let her be. The procedure was followed and
everything went well. They accepted the damage price without any problems. I didn't
get to see Lwa throughout the proceedings. Even when we were served lunch, it was
by her mom, Phiwe, Lolo and Noma that served us.

Mom: now that the damages have been paid, it is correct to say that the babies
belong to our family and should therefore have our surname

L's dad: yes, that is correct

Mom: then it is only logical that the kids stay with us when they are born so that
Athandwe and your child can go back to school
L's dad: that's not going to happen. Lwandile is only going back to school in February
so she will be looking after her own kids under this roof. Athandwe can come and
see the kids whenever he likes.

Mom: and then after February? What's going to happen?

Me: mom can you just behave yourself? I've told you a million times that these are
my sons. Mna noLwa will decide what's best for them. Not you.

Mom: uthetha nam ngalohlobo Athandwe?

Me: its not about you. Stop being selfish and think of someone else apart from
yourself for once. Bab' Hadebe, I think when January comes I will hire a nanny to
stay here with you guys to look after my sons. That's if you are ok with that

L's Dad: I'm ok with that. The kids are free to visit anyone and anyone is free to visit
them

Mom: so, what was the point of the damages

Uncle: igxaki yakho Andiswa ukba uyathanda ukuzenza indoda. Damages are not
paid to buy the children.

Me: ndisazo thetha noLwa but I doubt she will have a problem.

After lunch we said our goodbyes and drove home. There was tension in the car
because of my mom but no one was trying to entertain her.

Mom: weLiza

Dad: yini ke ngok

Mom: when I was pregnant with Lulonke, your family raised him for me until we were
married so why can't I do the same for Atha

Lu: because you've never raised anyone in your life. I was raised by umakhulu and
Atha was raised by nannies because you were too busy trying to make it in life

Mom: where is the difference ngok? Atha was raised by nannies and Atha's kids will
be raised by nannies
Me: the difference is that I will never try to buy my kids' love, I will never forget their
birthdays, I will be with them every weekend. The nannies are temporary until we
finish school. That's the difference

Mom: you are going to be a lawyer, you won't find time to go to soccer games and
host birthday parties. You will be busy and if that Lwa girl can get her degree then
naye she will be busy. Nannies will raise your kids. Mark my words

Out of respect and because I didn't want to say things I will regret, I kept quiet. We
got home and I changed then grabbed my car keys and left. Lolo and Noma wanted
us to meet to discus something. I found them at the mall and we drove to the
shisanyama

Lolo: you look pissed, are you ok?

Me: ndigrand fondin. Z'khiphan?

Noma: we want to throw Lwa a baby shower tomorrow so we need you to distract
her

Me: ok no problem. From what time?

Lolo: from 10 until around 12

Me: ok I think I can manage that. So, who is the godmother between the both of
you?

Them: I am

I laughed because clearly, they are undecided.

Me: lol oh ok. 2 godmothers. That will be good for us. When we need to leave the
boys with someone you guys will be available

Lolo: lol don't take advantage of us please.

My phone rang and my baby mama was calling

Me: excuse me guys.

I got up to answer the call away from the noise

Me: makaAmu no Sya

Lwa: baba wabo

Me: unjani

Her: I'm ok. I miss you. You were here earlier and I didn't see you

Me: I will see you ngomso sthandwa sam

Her: why not now?

Me: I'm in the middle of something right now baby. But tomorrow I'm all yours and we
are going to church so wake up bright and early

Her: church? Ai baby I don't like waking up

Me: but you are going to love church. Ndyakthanda evha

Her: mxm I love you too

I hung up and when back to Lolo and Noma

Me: I don't need to be at the baby shower, right? I just have to bring her and that's it

Lolo: lol yeah that's it. No guys allowed at the baby shower

Me: oh good. My wallet isn't needed as well

They laughed and I knew I had to pay for something

Noma: well we do need your wallet for something. We need you to pay for the cake.
That's it

Me: I just paid damages this morning, I've paid for the cake. Lol I'm kidding, how
much is it?

Noma: R500

I sent her the cash via ewallet. Now I was broke. I've spent R15 000 in a space of 2
days. Ai no having kids is expensive. No doubt about that. I left Lolo and Noma at
the shisanyama and drove home. I found my parents and my uncle talking in the
lounge and I walked past but my dad called me. I sat down next to my uncle

Dad: so, everything is sorted now with regards to the arrival of the twins

Me: mostly everything

Him: what's left?

Me: things like nappies, formula and toiletries.

Mom: I'm sure they can buy that themselves

Dad: that's not how it should be done. How's your bank balance looking?

Me: its dented pretty badly. I think I have R5000 in there now

Mom: I told you to save and you didn't listen. Look at you now and I meant it when I
said you are not getting a cent from me if those babies don't live with me

Me: I spent R15 000 between yesterday and today. Where do you think that came
from if I didn't save? Mama khawume with your negative vibe.

Dad: I admire your sense of responsibility son. I will transfer money to you on
Monday. You are doing right by that girl and those kids

This is why I love my dad. He knows how to appreciate a person's work. I could have
easily bought everything at jet or Ackerman's so I can have cash to spare but the
R20 000 I've saved up in the past 8 months was just for my babies. I didn't even get
Lwa an expensive birthday present this year but she didn't mind. We are a team with
this parenting thing. She has also been saving but I told her to spend that cash on
herself.
Insert 86

My family has never been big on church. You go if you want to so I'm not a real fan
of church. My boyfriend on the other hand is a god-fearing man. He goes to church
almost every Sunday.

I woke up, took a bath, I let my weave hang loose and wore a long peach dress and
white pumps. I put on my guess watch and a bracelet then I took my bag and went
downstairs. No one was up yet so I made myself a fruit salad and ate. Atha called
while I was eating

Me: hmmmm

Him: what are you eating?

I swallowed then laughed

Me: lol I'm having breakfast

Him: hurry because I'm outside

Me: ok

I hung up and finished my salad the placed the bowl in the sink. I got outside and
found him looking hot as ever. He was wearing black chinos, crisp white shirt and a
black skinny tie with black shoes. We shared a hug and his cologne drew me in

Him: you look beautiful

Me: thank you babe. You look hot.

Him: lol ndyabulela

He drove us to church and the service was actually nice. I really enjoyed it...to the
extent that I'd love to come again. After church he wanted us to have lunch and I was
craving pizza but he refused for us to have it

Him: no more junk food for you. You know by now.

Me: then I'm not hungry ke

I was annoyed. I wanted nothing else apart from pizza. If I'm not getting pizza then
he can keep his lunch. I will order my pizza when I get home.
Him: and know? So now you don't want food because you can't have pizza?

I kept quiet shame. He was annoying me. Busy treating me like a child

Him: Lwandile ndithetha nawe

Me: please take me home

Him: not before you eat

Me: heeh bruh we have food at home. Your mom might think we are poor but we are
not so poor that we can't afford food. Take me home

Him: wow that's a low blow. Why are you even involving my mom in this now?

Me: Athandwe ngithe ngihambise ekhaya

Him: this pregnancy can make you so bitchy at times.

He drove off and I think he was heading to his grandma's house.

Me: oh, so I'm being bitchy now?

Him: awuzboni wena?

Me: I asked you to take me home. This is not the route to where I live

Him: andithi ndithe kuwe I will take you home after you've eaten. Khawphole ke ngok

I kept quiet. He was pissed but I didn't care. He started this and now worst part he
goes and calls me bitchy. We got to his grandma's house and I refused to get out the
car

Him: asambe mahn Lwa

Me: ngithe ngiyise ekhaya not here. You want to go in there and tell your family how
bitchy I am angithi. Angifuni

Him: yho ai ndiyakshiya ke mna but know that I'm not leaving here until you've eaten

He walked out the car and I chilled bruh. Ngazitshela ukuthi one way or another
uzonghambisa ekhaya. He knows I can't sleep here. A few minutes later Sbusi's
mom came out the house and got in the car

S's mom: molo ntombi

Me: molo makazi

Her: kwenzeka ntoni ngawe naloAthandwe

Me: he is annoying me makazi. I told him I want pizza and he refused then he goes
and says this pregnancy is making me bitchy

Her: I'm sure he is just as frustrated as you are but you have to eat ntomb' yam.
Come join us for lunch

I didn't want to be rude so I agreed but ipizza yami yona ngisayifuna. We walked into
the house and I greeted everyone and sat down

Makhulu: awusemhle ntombi. Sikuphethe kak'hle lesisu

Me: ngiyabonga makhulu. Sengifuna bafika lababantu. Ngikhathele manje

Makhulu: mase befikile uzawfisa baphindele emva. Senibethile amagama?

Me: yebo makhulu. Ngu Alwake Amukelwe Siyabonga noAwakhe Yamkela

Siyabulela

Makhulu: mahle amagama eniwakhethileyo. Mna ndizobanika igama sebefikile

Atha: amagama awu 4 makhulu.

Makhulu: ewe kalok kumele ndibanike igama nami

The lunch was nice and I love the vibe at Atha's grandma's house. There is always
so much love in the air. That great family love and connection. I can't wait for my
sons to come in contact with it. Atha's phone rang and he answered it in the other
room then came back to us when he was done

Atha: kmele ndihambise uLwa kokwabo ngok

Makhulu: nihambe kak'hle bantwana bam

We got up and left. In the car there was silence. I'm not going to say anything until he
apologizes for calling me bitchy.

Him: usayfuna lapizza yakho

Cwaka. I didn't even show any sign of hearing him

Him: so awndthethisi ngok?

I took my phone out and played candy crush. I was stress free shame. If he wants to
pretend like he sees nothing wrong with calling me bitchy for no reason then shap.
He drove to Roman's pizza, bought the 2 large pizzas and 2l of liquifruit. He put the
box in the back seat and drove me home. When I was about to get out the car, he
locked the doors. I looked at him as a sign for him to open the door

Him: baby undiqhumbele nyan?

Me: vula umnyango bruh

Him: sundiqhela andyo bruh yakho mna.

Me: ok ke vula umnyango

Him: I'm not going to apologize for not getting you pizza. Pizza is unhealthy and you
have to eat healthy until you give birth. Ndyaz ukba ubuyifuna but I have to do what's
best for you and the boys even when you don't like it

Me: so, calling be bitchy is doing what's best for me neh? Ok ngyabona

Him: for that ndcela uxolo. Bendiniwe fondin. Ubundika ngalawei yakho obuyfuna.
Ndcela uxolo munt' wam

Me: mxim bye bye Atha

Him: awu my chocolate chicken. Mama ka Alwakhe. Love of my life. Mkami.

Sthandwa senhliziyo yami. Ndixolela mamazi

I'm not gonna lie, I blushed when he called me those things. No matter how much he
annoys me and pisses me off, he will always hold the key to my heart. My love for
him will never change just because I'm mad at him

Me: lol unescefe yaz.

Him: I love your smile kodwa MaHadebe wam

He leaned in for a kiss and I met him half way. The kiss was long, slow and
passionate. I felt all his love in one kiss. He soon pulled away a just looked at me
with a smile on his face

Him: ndyakthanda mawabo

Me: nami ngyakthanda bab'wabo

I got out the car and he drove off. I opened the door and I almost got a heart attack

Them: SURPRISE

my friends and family were all here for my baby shower. I was lost for words. Lolz,
Nomz, Enhle, Lesedi, Phiwe, Aviwe, Asemahle, my cousins Amanda and Sne and
my mom were here. I haven't seen some of these people in ages. I hugged everyone
and they gave me that banner thing written"mom to be" to wear. We played games,
ate and I received lots of presents. It was good to share my pregnancy with the
people close to my heart. We took tons of pictures and later everyone left. Today
was such a rollercoaster of emotions but it ended off perfectly. I took a long bath and
relaxed then wore my pyjamas and got in bed. I dozed off.

1 month later

I was watching TV by myself when I felt a sharp pain in my lower abdomen. I held
my tummy and the pain subsided then it came again. I got up to get a glass of water
and water ran down my legs. Did my water just break?! I took my phone and called
my mom

Mom: Hello

Me: mama I think my water just broke. The babies are coming.

Her: ok breathe Nana. I'm on my way.

Me: ok mama hurry. It hurts

I hung up and called Atha but he rejected my call and sent me a text that he is in
class. I sent him a text that the babies are coming. He called me back after 5 mins or
so

Me: hmmmm

Atha: bayeza nyan?

Me: why would I joke about that? AAAAAHHHH

Him: baby are you ok? Hang in there baby I'm on my way
Me: I'm not ok. It fucken hurts ok. You better get here in time

Him: ok baby I will. Just keep them in until I get there

Me: uyanya

I hung up and soon my mom arrived. She took a baby bag that was in her room and
drove me to the hospital. I was admitted and taken to the delivery room. My
contractions were 15mins apart and I was dilated 2cms

Dr: I will come back and check on you in an hour. If you need the epidural injection
just buzz the nurse and she will give it to you

The contractions are painful shame. Angiwafisi. Atha arrived with Enzo at 5PM and I
had still not given birth. The doctor came in and checked the heartbeats and my
dilation again. By then my contractions were 10mins apart and I was dilated 5cm

Dr: you are half way there. 5 more centimeters and you will be ready to push

If getting to 5cm took me 7hrs shuthi the other 5 will take another 7 hrs. I couldn't
take 7 more seconds of this. I hadn't requested the epidural injection just yet.

Atha: baby I'm here for you neh. Anything you need just tell me and I will get it for
you

Me: the only thing I want are these babies to be out of me already. Do you think you
can make that happen? Since you were the one that put them in there

I was in pain and I was screaming and shouting at everyone. Eventually at midnight
the doctor said I was ready to push. If you think contractions are painful then awazi
nix. The pushing is like contractions on fleek baba.

Dr: I'm going to count to three and then you push

Atha and my mom were holding my hands the whole time. Enzo was just outside the
door and Nomz, Lolz, my brother and my dad were in the waiting area.

Dr: 1...2...3 push

I didn't even know how I was supposed to push but I pushed and it hurt like fuck. We
did this whole pushing thing 5 more times

Dr: you are almost there. I can see the head. Give me Two more big pushes.
I pushed with all my might and after the second push, I heard my baby boy's first cry.
I couldn't help but cry as well. I did it. I carried him, protected him and brought him
into this world alive. Atha cut the cord and they wrapped my baby up

Nurse: baby number 1 has healthy lungs, 10 toes and 10 fingers

I was exhausted but I still had more pushing to do. The doc did the whole counting
thing and I had to push over and over again until finally he came out as well but he
wasn't crying.

Me: what's wrong with my baby? Why isn't he crying?

The nurses pinched him under his feet but he still didn't cry. The machines I was
connected to started bleeping and making a noise

Dr: Lwandile I'm going to need you to calm down

Me: don't tell me to calm down. Tell me what's wrong with my baby

Nurse: doctor we need you over here. The second baby isn't breathing
Insert 87

Oh my God. Why is my son not breathing? I was stressed and panicking like a mad
woman. The doctor must have sedated me because I passed out. When I woke up,
Atha was next to me and holding my hand. I was still a bit dazed then I remembered
my son that wasn't breathing when he was born. Atha noticed that I'm awake and
gave me a glass of water. I downed the whole glass

Me: Athandwe uphi umfana wam?

In my mind I'd already lost Awakhe. I had tears in my eyes but I didn't want them to
roll down so I quickly wiped them. Atha didn't respond to my question and now I was
really scared

Me: Athandwe ngithe uphi umfana wami?

Atha: let me call the doctor

Me: I don't want the doctor. I want my son

He walked out and came back with the doctor

Dr: Lwandile you are finally awake

Me: I just want to see my son please

Dr: your son? You know you were pregnant with twins, right?

Me: yes, I know that but the second baby wasn't breathing

I couldn't hold it in anymore. I cried my lungs out and Atha held me tightly

Atha: shhhhh baby let the doctor speak

Dr: yes, he wasn't breathing when he was born because he didn't get enough
oxygen during the birth. The umbilical cord was around his neck. We managed to do
CPR on him and he started breathing while you were sedated. He is still connected
to the breathing machines for now just to get the oxygen flowing properly

My son was ok. He made it even though I had given up hope, he gave me a reason
to believe that God is real and that he is watching over me and protecting me at all
times.
Me: thank you so much doc for everything you did for me and my boys. Thank you

Dr: its only a pleasure. You can come see them if you like

Me: I'd love to

The doctor took us to the nursery and I saw my boy. Alwakhe was with the other
babies. The nurse said she will bring him to my room after I've seen Awakhe.
Awakhe was in the room with other sick babies. He had an oxygen mask on. Tears
rolled down my cheeks. He was beautiful. I couldn't tell who he looked like between
Atha and I.

Atha: he is beautiful

Me: yeah, he is. My little warrior

Him: he is a fighter. Umakhulu uthe igama lakhe nguLoyiso. Which means victory

Me: he really is a victor umfana wami. Did umakhulu give uAlwakhe a name as well?

Him: yeah uthe nguQhawe

Me: I hope no one else decides to name them. 4 names are more than enough.

I rubbed my baby boy's hand and he wrapped his fingers around my finger

Me: I love you my little fighter

We left him and I went back to my room. Soon after the nurse brought Qhawe to me.
I held him in my arms and just stared at him. I've only seen them once and I could
tell them apart already. Qhawe has a small birthmark on the top of the left side of his
left eye and Loyiso doesn't have it. Qhawe cried and I breastfed him, burped him and
gave him to his dad. After a few minutes he was fast asleep and Atha placed him in
his little bed.

Atha: I can't tell them apart. They look exactly alike

Me: lol look carefully. Loyiso doesn't have the birth mark that Qhawe has.

Him: wow you notice every single detail baby.

Me: lol I have to. These are my babies.

Later my parents, my brother and the godparents came to see us. My mom
immediately went to the little bed next to me and picked Qhawe up

Mom: he is so beautiful bakithi umfana kagogo nje

She planted a kiss on his forehead. My friends all took pics of my son and passed
him around while admiring his cuteness. All the attention must have been too
overwhelming for him and he started crying.

Me: woza kumama

I reached out for him but Nami took him

Nami: umama wani?! Woza kumalume wakho

He rocked him a bit and he stopped crying. I took a pic of them and they looked so
precious. One of those moments to be treasured. The doctor came to check on us
and kicked everyone out

Me: doctor when do you think we will be discharged?

Her: most probably the day after tomorrow. We just need the other twin to get used
to breathing on his own first. He is off the breathing machines but he is still
struggling.

Me: is he going to be ok though?

Dr: yes, he will be fine. I just want to put them on one bed together so they can bond
and this little man can help his little brother.

They took Qhawe away and I rested. Hospitals can get boring and its not a place I'd
like to spend more than the required time in. After my nap I woke up to bath and they
brought a breast pump for me to pump milk for Loyiso and they brought Qhawe so
they can teach me how to bath him. I was scared to hold him because I thought I'd
drop him. After bathing him I dressed him in a blue and white baby onesie and white
hat. I wrapped him in his blanket but they told me to remove the blanket because he
was going to be in the same bed with Loyiso. The nurses bathed and fed Loyiso and
took them away. I can't wait to take them home so they don't have to be out of my
sight.
2 days passed and I was finally taking them home. Atha and my mom came to pick
us up. I placed the boys in their car seats and we went home. When we got home
they were fast asleep so Atha and I placed them in their cots. Their dad kissed their
foreheads and we went to my room.

Atha: I can't get enough of them they are so cute and small

Me: I still can’t believe they are here. Finally

Him: so now its Qhawe and Loyiso and no longer Alwakhe and Awakhe?

Me: makhulu's names take preference babe. The rest will be in their birth certificates
though

Him: yeah it makes sense. Baby its getting dark, I have to love and leave you guys
and I'm going back to bloem ngomso. I have a test on Friday but after it I'm coming
straight here

Me: alright babe. Are you gonna pass by before leaving tomorrow?

Him: of course, my chocolate chicken

He baby kissed me and left. I went back to the nursery to just look at them. I was
taking pics and just admiring them. My mom walked in

Mom: you should be resting. Bazohlupha ebsuku and you will need all your energy

Me: but I don't want to apart from them.

Her: go take a nap. I will watch them while you sleep.

She switched on the baby monitor and went downstairs with the other part of it. I
planted kisses on their little lips.

Me: I love you guys so much

I left and went back to my room to nap. I looked at their pics until I eventually dozed
off

*
On the 29th of August I was blessed with 2 baby boys. The greatest gift that God has
ever given me. Within the first 24hrs of their lives I learnt the true meaning of
unconditional love, the power of prayer and to have faith beyond any boundaries. To
say I love them doesn't even amount to an ounce of what I feel towards those boys.
My sons have brought me the greatest amount of joy and have made me a mother, a
caregiver and a nurturer. SIYABONGA jehova for these souls you have trusted us
with. ALWAKHE uthando lethu through us loving him daily. AMUKELWE ezweni for
the beautiful person that he is. You are my hero and my little warrior QHAWE lami.

AWAKHE umdeni wethu ngoba sithemba yena to lead us to iLOYISO lethu.

YAMKELA jehova nasi isipho sethu ngoba SYABULELA ngokusipha sona.
Insert 88

Atha's POV

There is no one I trust in more than God and there is nothing I believe more in than
the power of prayer. When the nurse said my son wasn't breathing, I thought we had
lost him. I stepped aside as the doctor and nurses attended to him. I got on my
knees in the delivery room and I prayed. I put my whole heart and soul into that
prayer. Just as I said Amen, I heard my boy's cry. I rushed over to Lwa's side

Me: baby our baby is alive

But she was already sedated. I called Enzo in to cut his cord and I took a pic. When
Lwa eventually woke up I couldn't bring myself to tell her that both our sons are ok. I
was still in a state of shock. Witnessing all of that just left me a bit numb. When I saw
Loyiso and Qhawe I felt something I've never felt. Yes, I do love Lwa with all my
heart and I love my family but when I saw my sons properly for the first time, all the
love I've ever felt seemed not enough to describe what I felt for them. They are the
result of real love between two people. My sons are my whole world.

When I got home after dropping Lwa and the boys off, I sat in the room alone. It was
around 8PM. I was just looking at my sons' pictures and admiring them. Aviwe and
Sbusi walked in

Avi: how are my nephews doing?

Me: baright cuz and super cute

I showed her the pictures and she was obsessed with them.

Sbusi: ndfuna ukbona nam

I showed her the pics

Sbusi: inana yakho le bhuti

Me: ewe Nana

Her: ipink inana yakho.

Avi and I burst out laughing. Sbusi is the cutest 5-year-old ever. She can turn any
moment into a burst of laughter. Siviwe and Lubabalo joined us and they wanted us
to go out

Me: ndigrand mna bruhs. Kyabanda and I need to sleep. I've had a hectic two days

Siv: just because usulityma doesn't mean you have to act old bruh. Sobamba iibeers
ezifew then sibuye.

Me: next time bruh. Ndidiniwe nyan

Lub: borrow us your car then.

I gave him that WTF look. Iyaphambana lechap. Akhomuntu ozawqhuba imoto yam
ndingekhoyo

Me: you are dreaming ngok ntwana.

They left me to sleep and in the middle of the night I was woken up by a call from
someone I had least expected

Me: Snothile ufuna nton?

Sno: hau Atha, is that the way to greet the mother of your first born?

Me: uxilile? Or okanye usuyaphambana? Andinamtana nawe mna.

Her: yes, because our baby passed away. I was at a prophet and he said I will have
bad luck if we don't do a cleansing ceremony

Me: uyanya wena. Umntanam akaswelekanga, wamkhupha wena ngokuthanda

kwakho. La bad luck othethangayo ikufanele

I hung up and tried going back to sleep but I couldn't. It wasn't because I was
thinking about Sno or anything like that but because my sleep had run out. Siv and
Lub must have gone out because I was alone in the room. I went to get myself a
glass of water and chilled in bed. I wanted to check on Qhawe and Loyiso but I
figured it was late and Lwa is most probably sleeping ngok. I don't even know how
she will cope alone with those two. I wanted to help but I can't expect Lwa's parents
to allow me to stay over there and staying at my parents' house would be too risky. I
don't trust my mom. Eventually my sleep returned and I passed out without any
warning. Next day I woke up early because I needed to go back to Bloem. I bathed,
dressed warmly and took the lunch my aunt had made me. I called Lwa on my way
to her. She sounded so deep in her sleep

Lwa: hmmmm

Me: vuka baby

Her: angfuni. I'm exhausted Athandwe

Me: I'm on my way there so vuka.

Her: ok

She hung up. Shame she sounded exhausted nyan. Those boys must have been
troublesome last night. I got there and her mom opened for me.

Me: molo mama

L's mom: yebo Athandwe unjani?

Me: ndkhona mama. Kunjani?

Her: ngiyaphila. Ngkhathele ngiyafa. Ziyakhala lezizinto zakho ebsuku.

Me: lol askies mama. Usevukile uLwa?

Her: I think so. Awumchecke eNursery

In the nursery the boys were fast asleep and Lwa was asleep on the rocking chair.
Lol au kodwa ngesthandwa sam. She looked out of it. I carrier her to her bed and
chilled in the nursery with my sons. I picked Loyiso up and held him in my arms. He
looked so peaceful. I ran my fingers all over his face and just stared at him. After a
while I put him back in his crib and as I was walking out Qhawe woke up. I picked
him up and his bottle and left the room because I didn't want him to wake his brother
up. I sat on the chair in Lwa's room and gave him his bottle. Lwa woke up after
sometime and was surprised to see me.

Lwa: babe when did you get here and how did I get back to this room?

I just smiled at her and looked my son. She went to bath and came back to get
dressed.

Lwa: baby please leave the room, I want to get dressed.

Me: you've gotten dressed in front of me so many times. Why must I leave the room
ngok?

Her: I just gave birth a few days ago, I don't feel comfortable being naked in front of
someone

Me: makaQhawe you are beautiful. I'm the last person you should ever feel insecure
around. I love you with your flaws and all. I'm not even going to look if you don't want
me to. My boy and I are bonding lana.

She got dressed and I snuck I peak. She still looked beautiful and sexy as ever. God
only knows how much I love this woman. I smiled to myself while staring at Qhawe. I
burped him and we just chilled. I heard camera clicking sounds and I looked up. Lwa
was taking pics of us with her iPad

Her: ncoah you guys look adorable. I love you so much

Me: we love you too mommy.

I spent two hours with my little family then I took the long drive to Bloem. The
wallpaper on my phone was a pic of Qhawe and Loyiso when they were still in
hospital sharing the same bed. I wanted it to be a constant reminder that I'm a father
to fighters and survivors. Ukfika kwam eBloem, I ate and headed to campus. I found
X at the study loc

X: heeh mjita uyazifihla. I've been calling you but you never pick up the phone

Me: I was busy the past couple of days. Lwa gave birth so I had to be that side.

Him: congratulations bruh. Let me see the boys

I showed him the pics and he knew my boys were cute.

Him: the number of chicks I'm going get through these boys of yours

Me: lol my sons aren't chick magnets and you have uLebo wena.

Him: unedrama loyo bruh. Anyway, have you started studying?

Me: nah bruh I'm going to start ngok. Andzolala until the test ngomso. Then I'm
driving back home after it

Him: uyariska ntwana. Fly home tomorrow. Don't drive

Me: ndzobona ngqhawa

We studied for 5 hours nonstop and when I felt my brain crashing I took a break. I
called to check on my boys and they were fine but still crying like crazy. Hunger
striked and X and I drove to KFC and bought meat and ate there. Katli and Lebo
walked in. Last time I checked neither Katli nor Lebo had a car. Lunga and Tshepi
followed in. I lost my appetite the moment I saw Lunga. They walked towards our
table

Lebo: hey baby

X: ufunani la?

Lebo: hau baby be ke batla dejo.

X: and you asked other guys to bring you here whereas you know I have a car and I
could have brought you here

Lunga: chill ntwana, its not a big deal. We were studying together and we got
hungry.

X: voetsek wena angsiyo intwana yakho Mina. Atha bruh ngcela svaye

We got up and left but before we got to the door Lunga shouted at us

Lunga: you niggas are such bitches though.

I turned around to approach him but X stopped me

X: myeke boi. He isn't worth it

Insert 89

I have the best baby daddy in the world. I truly consider myself lucky to have a man
who loves me and our kids. After he left I bathed Qhawe and dressed him in a white
hooded warm onezie then I went downstairs with him. My mom was bathing so I
placed him on the couch and pumped milk into two baby bottles. I bonded with my
son and took selfies while watching TV. Qhawe looks a lot like me, the only feature
he got from his father is the eyes. Hopefully the dimples will come as well at some
point. A few minutes later my mom came down with Loyiso

Me: ebesekhala yini?

Mom: no. He was just laying in his crib doing nothing.

Me: let me go bath him.

I gave Qhawe to my mom and went to bath Loyiso. Qhawe doesn't cry when he
takes a bath but his brother on the other hand fears water like crazy. Uvele akhale
umfana wami ngathi someone is out to get him.

Me: thula phela boy kamama. Its almost over

Even when he was dressed the crying continued. Its quite obvious that they are
twins so I don't see the need to make them wear the same clothes. I took my boy
downstairs and he was still crying

Mom: yini kangaka? Umenzani?

Me: uyawasaba amanzi lomuntu

I gave him his bottle and he calmed down. Even at night, its Loyiso that makes all
the noise and as a result his brother wakes up. Imagine leyo chaos the whole night.

Mom: i think we should separate them. We can move Loyiso to your room and leave
Qhawe in the nursery.

Me: let's leave them the way they are. Bazojwayela

Qhawe fell asleep first and my mom put him in my room then she went to town. I was
left all alone with the twins. My sense of motherhood shall be tested today.
The day went by very quickly and abahluphanga kakhulu oboy bami. Around
midnight I called their dad

Atha: love wam

Me: unjani baby?

Him: I'm good and you?

Me: I'm good too. How's the studying?

Him: studying is going ok. I can't talk for long baby wam. I'm behind with the studying

Me: I understand. I was just checking up on you

Him: thank you babe. Kiss my boys for me. I will see you guys tomorrow. I love you

Me: i love you too

I felt a bit left out when i heard Atha was studying. I'm stuck at home for the rest of
the year and Atha gets to go on with school. I know I shouldn't blame him but I think
its unfair. These babies belong to both of us. My heart was heavy but I decided to
just keep the thoughts and feelings to myself.

4months later

I've been jogging everyday since the boys turned a month old. Its December now so
my body was almost back to normal. The boys have established a routine so they
don't cry a lot at night now. They play and laugh. Its the cutest thing to witness. I love
the stage they’re at now. They know how to recognize me and Atha.

I woke up and went for my morning jog. I bumped into this guy and my phone fell.
The screen cracked.

Guy: I'm so sorry. Are you ok?

Me: I'm good but my phone isn't

Him: I'm really sorry. I will pay for that to be fixed.

This guy had an american accent and he was hot. Those Taye Diggs and Morris
Chestnut type of guys. Dark chocolate

Me: its OK, you don't have to.

Him: but I want to. Do you live around here?

Me: yeah. The corner house on the third street

Him: alright. I live on the other side of town. Can I take your numbers so I know how
to reach you for when I want to repair your phone?

I gave him my number and jogged home. When i got home I found Atha in the boys'
room. I hid my cracked phone. Vele that guy said he was going to fix it. I didn't even
get the guy's name and he didn't get mine

Me: hey babe

Atha: morning baby. I'm taking you guys out today so shower so we can go

Me: I have to bath the boys first

Him: KK and I already took care of that

The boys can sit on their own now so bathing them is simpler than when they were
still new borns but I don't know how I feel about my 14year old brother bathing them.
I took a shower and wore light blue skinny jeans, a white tight-fitting vest and white
and gold sandals. December weather is always hot. I also wore a black baseball cap.
Atha and KK had dressed my sons in such color blocking colors so I had to change
them. Qhawe wore black shorts, a baby blue T-shirt and sneakers. Loyiso wore blue
shorts, white T-shirt and sandals. While I packed their baby bags, Atha packed the
pram in the car. I put my simcard in my old phone and we left.

Me: siyaphi?

Atha: mall then my mom's house.

Me: askies? We are going to your mom's house? For what?

Him: what do you mean for what? She is my mother and these are her grandsons.
She wants to see them.

Me: and you didn't think to run that past me first?

Him: for what reason? We are not going to sleep there. We are just going to see her
then leave

I kept quiet. I didn't want to argue with Athandwe in from of Loyiso and Qhawe. I put
my headsets on and listened to music. I didn't have to worry about the boys because
they never cry in a moving car. Bathula ngathi abekho. We got to that witch's house
and I said a silent prayer. I carried Loyiso and Atha carried Qhawe. To my surprise
Sno opened the door when we knocked. WTF was going on here?

Sno: sawbona Lwandile.

Atha pushed her out the way and stormed in.

Him: MAMA UKUPHI?

A's mom: sugxola Athandwe. I'm in the kitchen.

I followed in and Sno gave me a smug look nje. Yini inkinga yalengane Kanti?

Me: molweni.

A's mom: ufuna ntoni lomntana apha?

Atha: i should be asking you that question ngoSnothile

A's mom: i will explain that. Why did you bring her here?

Atha: uthe ufuna ukbona abantwana. Abantwana bahamba nomama wabo.

Me: Athandwe you will find us in the car

Sno: let me take the baby.

This little girl doesn't know who she is messing with. Take my son for what?
Ongafuni Mina, shuthi nezingane zami akazifuni

Me: ungazongdakelwa wena. You killed your child ngoba wawuthembe ukuthi
uzothatha eyami? Unyile ke makunjalo

I didn't even wait for her to respond, I just walked out with my son. Qhawe was
already in his grandmother's arms so I left him. A few minutes later Atha stormed out
the house. Oooohk what's going on manje?! He put Qhawe in his car seat and drove
off
Me: and then?

Him: not now Lwandile

Me: don't shout at me when I didn't do anything wrong

Him: khawundyeka fondin. Sundidika

The boys started crying. Most probably because they are not used to being around
people shouting at each other. I kept quiet. I didn't want to ignore my babies but I
wanted Athandwe to realise that its his nonsense that's making them cry. And
masethe uyakhala uLoyiso, its like he shows off shame

Atha: bayalila ababantwana Lwandile. Awubeva?

Me: bakhaliswe uwena nje so bathulise

Him: Lwandile suyenza lanto. So now I must stop driving?

Me: yeza into oyithandayo. Angithi that's how you do things.

He parked the car and took Loyiso and tried hushing but he didn't stop crying. He
tried putting the pacifier in his mouth and he spat it out

Him: Lwa ndyakcela. Cela umthatha.

Me: mlethe and put a pacifier in Qhawe's mouth.

He gave me Loyiso and started driving again. I rocked him and gave him his bottle,
walala. Qhawe on the other hand kept quiet the moment the pacifier went into his
mouth

Me: pull over

Him: for ini ngok?

Me: just pull over.

I got out the car and put Loyiso back in his car seat and we drove to town. I was still
annoyed but I said nothing. We bought summer clothes for the boys, their milk and
diapers. My phone rang while we were paying. It was an unknown number

Me: hello

Him: hey. Its the guy who broke your phone

Me: lol is that your name?

Him: lol of course not. I'm Chris

Me: and I'm Lwandile. How can I help you?

Him: I was wondering if I can come get your phone in an hour or so

Me: yeah sure.

Him: see you then

I hung up and Atha gave me a look. I ignored him. He carried the bags while I
pushed the boys. I put them safely in their car seats and went to put the folded pram
in the boot

Him: usuyandjolela ngok Lwa

Me: uma ubona Mina ubona letype ejolayo? Musa ukungijwayela kabi wena

He grabbed my arm and pulled me roughly

Him: you might be my girlfriend and the mother of my children but if you ever speak
to me like you have no sense ndizokukhaba unye ndyakxelela

I wasn't one bit frightened by his threat. If anything, it fueled me up

Me: if you want to hit me, then hit me and stop talking about it. This is not a Beyonce
concert, you don't have to announce it before it happens. We will see what kind of
father you will be from behind bars.

I yanked my arm from him and got in the car. He didn't leave after dropping us off. I
changed the boys' diapers and he stood by the door. I could feel his eyes piercing on
me. I let the boys sleep then went to my room and he followed. I sat down and he
stood by the door

Me: my room is not a club, it doesn't need bouncers

Him: I'm warning you Lwandile. I'm not in the mood for your nonsense.

Me: uwena ofika nenonsense. Whatever your mom said to you has nothing to do
with me so don't take it out on me.

He kept quiet for a long time and I didn't speak as well.

Him: we have a problem

Me: if it has anything to do with your mom and Snothile, then you have a problem not
us

Him: my mom says if I don't marry Snothile in the next 2 years, she is turning me in
to the cops for those pictures of her that I leaked

I was lost for words.

Insert 90

Was Athandwe's mom crazy? Why would Atha marry Sno? It makes no sense nje. I
know she doesn't like me but what made Sno better than me?

Me: askies

I looked at him with shock all over my face

Him: you heard me

Me: but why

Him: she says because Sno is the mother of my first born

Me: what first born? Sno aborted your child. You know this nje nawe

Him: well I don't want to go to jail mna

Me: so, you will marry her?

He kept quiet and that hurt. So, he is willing to let his mother win. He is willing to
marry Sno

Me: please leave

Him: why?

Me: just leave

I didn't want to be around him. How can he by unsure about Sno after everything she
put him through, after everything I've gone through because of him and everything
we've been together. Kodwa yena usekhohliwe

He walked out the room and I was pissed. How the hell could he consider this? What
will happen to our sons? Is his mom going to take them as well? An idea crossed my
mind but I was going to need a car. My parents weren't home but the keys for the
polo that I usually use were there. I called Noma

Nomz: mngan wam

Me: unjani friend?

Her: I'm so bored chomi. I can't deal

Me: great. I need babysitters.

Her: yeah, its fine. I'd love to see my boys

Me: please be here in the next hour

I hung up and called Lolz and naye wavuma. When they arrived, I kissed my boys
and drove off. There is no way I'm going to let that witch and her sidekick destroy my
relationship. 3 years with a person is no joke shame. When I was outside, I called
Lulonke and he opened for me

Lu: where are the boys? I miss my nephews

Me: bakhona. You should come see them. Lu I'm actually looking for your mother

Him: she just went out for a meeting and I doubt she is coming back today

Me: and uphi uSnothile

Him: arg that bitch is here

He called her down for me and we went to talk in the car

Me: so kahle kahle what's your story? Why do you want Atha so bad? Awekho
amadoda afuna ukujola nawe?

Sno: you are so quick to forget yaz wena Lwandile. Have you forgotten ukuthi you
stole Atha from me. He le-

Me: uyanghlanyela yaz. I stole him? I did no such thing. You killed his baby

Her: he dumped me after he found out I was pregnant. I was so happy when I heard
you were pregnant because I thought he was going to dump you too

Me: do you even hear how stupid that sounds? Athandwe uyangthanda sisi. A lot.
So, this little plan of yours with his mom will fail

Her: he might love you but he loves his freedom as well. He wouldn't go to jail just to
be with you. He will end up being mine. Uzobona wena

Me: lol if you say so baby girl. Manje in your right mind you think he will marry you,
you take my kids and you guys will live happily ever after? Lol such dreams though
Her phone rang and she flashed the screen in my face. Atha was calling her. I didn't
want to show any emotion so I just looked at her. She answered and soon her smiles
turned to frowns. She actually started looking scared and then she hung up. She
tried getting out the car but I had locked the doors

Me: we are not done here. So how is your hubby to be?

Her: awuhlukane nami Lwandile.

Lol that escalated quickly. From being so sure of herself to this.

Me: lol alright sweetheart. Kodwa I want you to know that Atha is and will forever be
mine. Qhawe and Loyiso are his life. Wena you are just some bitter ex who likes
things. Now get out of my car

I unlocked the doors and she got out. I was a bit hungry so I drove to spur and
ordered lunch. In a corner booth, I saw something I had least expected to see. I
made sure I took a few pictures just so I can have more than enough evidence. I had
my lunch and my phone rang. Ufunani uAthandwe manje?!

Me: yah

Atha: that's how you answer the phone manje?

Me: khuluma bruh. Ngibusy

Him: ubusy? Nobani? Ngani?

Me: you don't get to ask me that. Angisiye uSnothile Mina, I'm not your wife

He let out a soft sigh

Him: uzawbuya nini ke? Ndfuna sithethe

Me: I will tell you when I'm back.

I hung up and as I was about to put the phone on the table, it rang again. This time it
was Chris.

Me: hello

Chris: hey I'm outside your house

Damn. I had completely forgotten that he was going to come fetch my phone.
Me: I'm not home right now. Can I bring the phone to you later?

Him: sure. I will text you my address

I hung up, asked for a doggy bag, paid and left. I didn't want to go in the house
because uLoyiso ebezongikhalela so I asked KK to bring the phone to me at the gate
then I drove to Chris's place. I buzzed the gate and he opened for me. I found him
waiting for me at the door

Chris: I didn't think you'd come

Me: well I don't like having a cracked phone so of course I came

Him: lol yeah of course. Can i offer you something to drink

Me: juice would be nice

Chris's house was beautiful. It had artworks all over the place and it looked too big
for a person to be living alone. He came back with my juice and we sat down. I gave
him my phone and he left with it and came back with a box of the exact same phone
and gave it to me

Me: you bought me a new phone?

I was shocked. I guess he felt he had to but I would have been ok with him just fixing
my phone.

Him: I figured it would inconvenience you if I took your phone so I just replaced it

Me: well thank you.

He seemed like a really nice guy and did I mention how yummy he is?! We got to
know each other. He is 25, originally from the USA but he moved here following his
fiancé who later cheated on him with his boss. He owns his own business and he is
kinda rich. My phone rang as we were still talking

Me: excuse me...hello

Atha: have you forgotten that ndamithisa wena mna not Lolo and Noma?

Me: they are bonding with their godkids. Awubayeke

Him: Lwandile kmele sthethe fondin.

Me: well I'm busy.

I hung up and as much as I wanted to switch my phone off, I couldn't because I'm a
mom now.

Me: Chris thank you for the phone but I have to go now

Him: pleasure is all mine pretty lady. Hopefully we will get to hang out again at some
point

I just smiled. We shared a hug and I drove home. I found my nunubears watching TV
with their dad

Me: baphi oLolo?

Atha: I told them they can go home.

Me: ohhh

I kissed my boys and went upstairs to charge my new phone then went back
downstairs

Him: if you don't want to be a mother anymore then say so instead of dumping my
kids with other people

Me: since when are the godmothers of my kids just people? Stop seeking
unnecessary attention Athandwe.

Him: unnecessary attention? Are you listening to yourself? You lef-

Me: I went out for a few hours. Its not a big deal. Its not like I left the boys alone so
just calm down and stop making a mountain out of a molehill

He kept quiet. I poured myself juice and went to chill with my sons. He kept his eyes
glued on me and I ignored him shame. If he wants to marry Sno and please his
mother then okwakhe lokho.

Him: Lwa I know you are hurting and I don't want to hurt you but my back is against
the wall here

Me: oh, so you have made up your mind? Ok I'm happy for you

Him: I haven't made up my mind but-

Me: you know what's the most fucked thing? I actually thought you would be man
enough and stand up against your mother but no. You are going to take this laying
down like a little bitch.

Qhawe was asleep so I took him upstairs. Atha must have followed me because
after I tucked my son in, I found him staring at me.

Me: when you are done spending time with Loyiso, bring him to my room

Him: baby plea-

Me: don't start

I walked into my room and slammed the door. I looked at the pictures I took at spur. I
have the ammunition to stop Atha's mom and Sno but I expected Atha to fight for us
and not take this laying down. What happened to the love he had for me? What
happened to him always wanting to see me happy?
Insert 91

Atha's POV

After Lwa stormed out I gave my mom the WTF look.

Mom: myeke ahambe. She isn't good for you anyway

Sno let out a giggle and I gave her a hard slap. Qhawe started crying and my mom
gave him to me. I hushed him and gave him his pacifier and he stopped crying.

Mom: why are you slapping Sno? That's not how I raised you

Me: mama ufuna nton uSnothile apha?

Mom: Sit down Athandwe. We have important things to discuss.

I sat down in the lounge and put my son next to me. Sno sat down next to my mom

Mom: a few weeks ago, Sno came to see me and told me everything about your past
together

Me: why?

Sno: because I want you to do the right thing

Me: excuse me? Right thing?

Mom: Sno told me that she was pregnant with your child 2 years ago and that she
lost the baby after you dumped her for Lwa. She is the mother of your first born and
you have to do right by her

Me: she lost the baby because of me? Lol what bullshit did you feed my mom wena
sfebe

Mom: Athandwe!

Me: mom she lied to you. She didn't lose the baby, she aborted the baby.

Mom: did you dump her when you found out she was pregnant?

Me: yes but-

Mom: and that stress caused her to lose the baby. You have to marry her. You've
caused her enough pain and suffering. She loves you, she is from a good family and
you took her virginity

Me: I have to what? Uphambene mama. Yaz phambene nyan. I'm not going to marry
this girl

Mom: well I also know about the pictures you published and if you don't marry Sno,
I'm handing you over to the cops

Me: you wouldn't dare. You are wiling to go that far in order to separate Lwa and I?
Wow!

I took my son and stormed out. I don't know who that woman is but she is definitely
not my mom. No mother would go to such extremes to hurt her son. She believed
someone she doesn't know over her own son.

I didn't mean to take my bad mood out on Lwa but I couldn't control the words that
came out of my mouth. When we got to the mall, I wanted to spoil her but hearing
her on the phone with another man just made my heart sink. If Lwa is cheating on
me, I will never survive that.

Me: Lwandile uyandjolela?

Lwa: uma ubona mina ubona letype ejolayo?

I don't know what got over me but I grabbed her roughly and she wasn't even
frightened. That's one of the things I've always loved about her. She is strong
minded, she is strong and has a backbone. She is a fighter.

When we got to her house I wanted to tell her but I just didn't know how to. When I
eventually did, she kicked me out because I hesitated to answer a question she
asked me. Why did I hesitate? I know I love my sons and their mom but I don't want
to go to jail. I don't want them to grow up without me. I don't want to marry Sno but
what choice do u have? I left and drove to my grandma's house. The only person I
can talk to when I'm down is Aviwe and she wasn't around. I watched TV but I
couldn't focus. The last time things were this hectic between Lwa and I, we broke up.
I can't rely on another pregnancy to get us back together. Sbusi walked in and
changed the channel to Disney junior
Sbusi: bhuti

Me: yah Nana

Her: ndcela okobona oboy

Me: manje?

Her: ewe

I called Lwa and she told me she was busy. It didn't sound like she was at home so I
took Sbusi and drove to Lwa's house. I found Noma and Lolo watching amasosha
ami. Sbusi ran to them and played with the boys

Me: uphi uLwa

Noma: asaz. She just asked us to watch them and she left

Lolo: umenzeni? She looked upset

I didn't want to tell her so I just picked Qhawe up and he started giggling. These kids
love smiling and giggling and they look a lot like Lwa but they have my eyes and my
dimples. They are cute little guys. I took pictures of my little cousin and my sons
playing then my phone rang

Me: makaz

Makaz' Zintle: uphi?

Me: ndikwaLwandile. Ufuna uSbusi?

Her: ewe Utatakhe uyamfuna.

Me: alright. Let's meet at the mall.

Sbusi said her goodbyes and we left. I dropped her off then went back to my boys.
On my way back, I called Sno. I wanted to give her a piece of my mind for the
bullshit she told my mom.

Sno: hello

Me: what the fuck is wrong with you? Do you understand how messed up what you
are doing is? You are fucking up my relationship with my mom and my relationship
with the mother of my kids and that will fuck up my relationship with my kids in the
future. Listen to me carefully, when we are married, I will make your life a living hell.
To the extent that you will regret ever fucking with me. And I won't divorce you. I will
show you what a forced marriage is like.

I hung up without giving her a moment to answer but I meant every single word.
When i got to the house, Lwa was still not back and it was getting late. I told Noma
and Lolo to go home, I will watch the boys. An hour later Lwa came back and she
had the biggest attitude ever. We talked about the whole Sno thing until she
slammed the door in my face. I went downstairs and played with Loyiso. I was
hoping that he doesn't start crying because I can't keep him quiet. Qhawe is an easy
baby, Loy on the other hand is a mama's boy. Soon after he fell asleep and I put him
in his cot and went to Lwa. Luckily, she wasn't asleep

Lwa: are you leaving now?

Me: no. I want us to talk

Her: fine. Khuluma

Me: ndyakthanda Lwa and I love my sons as well. If I fight this and choose you, I will
go to jail and my kids will grow up without a father and I will eventually lose you as
well. Sthandwa sam my back is against the wall.

Her: what exactly are you saying Atha?

Me: I'm saying that I have to do what my mom says. I don't have a choice in the
matter. Please understand that this doesn't mean I don't love you but it just means
that I love you guys too much

I saw tears rolling down her cheeks and that broke me. I couldn't bare to see that. I
couldn't watch her hurting because of me. I wanted to hold her but I chose to walk
away. The one thing I promised to never do, I just did. I hurt the woman I love, the
mother of my kids and I knew from that day onwards, things will never be the same
between us
Insert 92

Imagine holding a drinking glass so tightly that it breaks and the glass cuts deeply
into your hand and you bleed like crazy. Sounds painful right?! Well I'd take that kind
of pain over and over again instead of what I was feeling.

Me: I have a way that might stop your mom and Sno

Atha: nothing can stop them. They won't give up until we are apart. Lwa I love you so
so much and I'm really sorry

With that said he walked away. I wanted to scream and shout but at the same time I
wanted to curl up into a ball and cry silently. I couldn't afford the luxury of breaking
down, I had to be strong for my sons. They needed me more. I laid on the bed and
just let the tears fall. Eventually I passed out. A few hours later I was woken up by
the baby monitor. Someone was up. I had a headache and my eyes were blood red.
I washed my face and went to get my son. Loyiso was the one up, I changed his
diaper and went downstairs with him. I gave him his bottle and we watched keeping
up with the Kardashians. My mom walked in with KK. KK took Loy and played with
him.

Mom: Lwandile ngkhuluma nawe

Me: hmmmm

Her: uright?

Me: yes, I'm fine.

Her: your eyes are red and you are zoned out. You are not ok. What happened?

Me: I'll tell you when I'm ready...KK umlethe if ehlupha

KK: ok

I went back to my room and got in bed. I looked up at the ceiling and thought how my
life just took a drastic turn. I'm never going to date again. I'm done. I've lost the love
of my life for some stupid reason.

*
Christmas Eve

I woke up to an empty house. My parents and my little brother went to KZN for
Christmas. I couldn't go because of the boys. I took a shower while the little minions
slept then wore a bum short, long vest and slippers. I made myself breakfast and ate
in front of the TV. My phone rang and it was Atha's mom. Great. Just great. Its been
2 weeks since my break up with Atha and I'm sure she is calling to gloat

Me: hello

A's mom: unjani?

Me: I'm fine

Her: I'm fine too. We would like to spend Christmas with the boys so can Atha pick
them up this afternoon?

Me: and who will look after them while they are there?

Her: ndikhona mna and ukhona noSno

Me: that girl will never go anywhere near my kids. Never

Her: well you don't have much of a choice in the matter. She is Atha's fiancé after all

Did she just say fiancé?! Wow that was quick. I hung up and just stared at the TV.
So Athandwe is engaged now. Wow. I don't even know how to feel about that. I
should have expected it but I didn't see it coming so soon. I didn't want to be alone
today. I called Phiwe

Phiwe: makaQhawe

Me: lol makaAlwande

Her: unjani?

Me: I've been better. What are you doing today?

Her: nothing much. Just gonna go shopping with Lwande. Wanna come with?

Me: yeah sounds like fun. What time?

Her: around 12. Bring the boys

We hung up and I woke Qhawe up and gave him a bath and dressed him in denim
shorts, red T-shirt and sneakers. I gave him his bottle and he chilled in his cot. Then
I bathed his brother and dressed him in a navy T-shirt, beige shorts and sneakers. I
had a few hundred rands in my account and I thought I should spoil the boys and
myself. Their dad called while we were getting ready to leave

Me: Athandwe

Atha: makaQhawe

Me: hmmmm

Him: unjani?

Me: I'm good and you?

Him: I'm OK. Did my mom call you?

Me: yes, she did and my answer is no. I don't want your fiancé near my kids

Him: I understand. Uhm can I pick them up tomorrow morning and I will bring them
back in the afternoon?

Me: are you going to make sure she stays away from them?

Him: yes, I will.

Me: ok

Him: I'm going to send you money to buy them Christmas toys and clothes and to
buy yourself something

Me: ngiright Mina. I will spend it on the boys

Him: spoil your-

Me: I will see you in the morning.

I hung up and wiped the tear that was forming in my eyes. The bank notification
came through and he had sent R5000. I packed the pram in the car and put the boys
in their car seats and drove to town. I met up with Phiwe at Woolies and she bought
Lwande clothes and we went to Truworths and I bought the boys' clothes. I wanted
Atha's mom to see that even though her son and I broke up, my kids aren't suffering.
I also bought them toys at Toys R Us and I also bought Alwande a Christmas
present. Then we went to wimpy for lunch.

Phiwe: so how are things with Atha? Are you guys getting along since the break up?

Me: it hasn't been easy but we've been civil towards each other. He is still a great
dad and I stay out of their way when he comes to see his kids

Phiwe: yho ai you are strong girl

Me: lol I don't have a choice. I'm doing it for them.

Her: I'm proud of you and I'm sorry for what you went through with Atha. You are too
young to have gone through that.

Me: I'm forced to grow up quickly I guess

We talked and I relaxed and enjoyed the day. I was far from getting over Atha but I'm
taking it one day at a time. I cry myself to sleep every night just so I can remain
strong during the day. We haven't spoken about us since the day we broke up and
I'm glad its that way. I want to focus on healing and not the past. After lunch we
roamed around the mall and I bumped into Chris

Chris: hello ladies

Us: hey

I introduced them and Phiwe was surprised that I know this guy

Him: you've been hiding yourself. You don't even respond to my texts

Me: I've been going through a lot lately but I will get back to you when I'm ready

Him: alright I shall see you around.

We shared a hug and he walked away.

Phiwe: now that is a yummy man. Dammit

Me: lol I'm going to tell my brother

Her: but seriously though, how do you know him?

I told her how Chris and I met and him buying me a new phone
Her: that man is a keeper shame.

At around 3 we went our separate ways. The boys were exhausted and I just put
them to bed. I made myself supper and then chilled in front of the TV. The gate was
buzzed and I knew it was Atha so I let him in.

Him: molo

Me: hey

He sat down and just stared at me. I stared at the TV

Him: baphi oMini me?

Me: balele. I just put them down to sleep.

I gave him the change from the money he had given me. I only spent R3500

Him: and this?

Me: your change

Him: come on. I said you can get yourself something nice. I meant it

Me: ngiright. You can get Sno something nice

Him: singathetha? I know my mom told you about the engagement

Me: there is nothing to talk about. Asisajoli Mina nawe.

Him: how did everything get so messed up? Ndyakukhumbula Lwandile

Me: ok

You don't get to say you miss me when you are the reason we are not together
anymore. It doesn't work like that. You made your bed so now you gotta lay on it
Insert 93

I was going to be spending Christmas at my brother's place so I woke up early and

bathed the boys, fed them then packed their bags. I made a bottle of each of them
and also packed a tin of milk. At 9AM Atha came and I was still dressed in my
summer pyjamas. Atha on the other hand was looking hot as ever. Dressed in black
jeans and a blue top and a baseball cap facing backwards

Atha: makaQhawe

Me: babakaLoyiso

Him: lol unjani?

Me: I'm good and you?

Him: ndright fondin ak'khonto. Are the minions ready?

Me: yeah, they are in the lounge.

He gave me a gift bag

Him: merry Christmas Lwa

Me: thank you. Merry Christmas to you too. I didn't get you anything though

Him: its fine.

I helped him put the boys in their car seats and they left. I looked in the gift bag and
there was a box. I opened it and found a beautiful necklace. It looked expensive. I
wasn't going to wear that. I'm trying to move on here and he is making it so difficult
for me. I took a shower and wore navy shorts, white tight vest and navy vans. I put
on eyeliner, mascara and pink lipstick. I wore the watch Atha got me for our
anniversary a few years back then I drove to my brother's place. Phiwe opened the
gate for me and I was greeted by Alwande

Alwa: sapona yanti

Me: hello baby girl.

Her: uphi Wawe noYoyiso.

Lol she can't pronounce words properly yet so when she says sapona yanti she
means sawbona auntie and Wawe and Yoyiso are Qhawe and Loyiso.

Me: abekho baby

We went to the lounge and found Nami, Landile, Syanda and Andile

Me: hey guys

I gave them all a hug and then went to greet Phiwe. Landile walked into the kitchen
as well

Laa: long time no see stranger

Me: you are the stranger. I'm always at home.

Him: ziphi izintwana zakho?

Me: zikubo

Him: and you stayed?

Me: well the father and I aren't together anymore so I have no business being at his
house on Christmas

He looked surprised to the extent that he didn't know what to say. I didn't want him to
feel sorry for me. I've had enough of that

Me: so, aren't we drinking?

Him: of course, we are. Wine is in the kitchen. I'm sorry about your break up

Me: its chilled man.

I poured myself a glass of wine and chilled in the kitchen with Phiwe

Phiwe: have you called that hot guy yet

Me: lol nah not yet. I'm not ready hey

Her: he won't wait forever. Have you noticed how Landile hasn't taken his eyes off
you since you got here

Me: nope. Isn't he dating Aviwe?

Her: that lasted a week bohlukana.

Me: wow ok.

We cooked and talked then later had Christmas lunch. I wanted to check on my sons
but I didn't want to be the annoying ex so I chilled out. Later Noma joined us and we
had a chilled fun day. We had a braai and tons of alcohol but I didn't drink much
ngoba the boys were still coming back later so I had to be at home. Suddenly I
zoned out and just stared into space. The love of my life is getting married and not to
me. Tears started rolling down my cheeks then suddenly I felt arms wrap around me.
I turned around and it was my brother. He hugged me and just kept quiet. When I
was calm, I got out of his embrace

Me: thanks

Nami: are you ok?

Me: I'll be fine.

Him: your phone has been ringing. I think you should call the person back.

He gave me my phone and I saw 4 missed calls from Atha. I called him back

Atha: sthandwa sam

He sounded drunk and I was annoyed

Me: are you drunk

Him: yes, baby I'm drunk and I miss you Lwandile. Ndyakthanda baby wam

Me: where are you and where are my children Athandwe

Him: siza kuwe ngok

Me: who is driving?

Him: Lu or Siviwe. Andaz but uQhawe noLoyiso naba

I hung up immediately. Since when is Atha so irresponsible?! I got up and went in

the house and called Lu. I had to make sure that that drunkard isn't driving

Lu: hey Lwa

Me: please tell me you are sober and you are the one driving.

Him: yeah, I'm sober and driving. We will be kokwenu in 10mins.

Me: I'm not at home. Tell Atha to tell you where my brother's place is

Him: he is passed out loyo. Text me the directions

I sent him the text and 15mins later he arrived. He walked in with Atha and they were
holding the boys. Loyiso giggled the moment he saw me. I took him from his father
and Nami took Qhawe

Atha: ndcela ukthetha nawe Lwa.

Me: no. Go home Atha.

Him: no. Kumele sithethe. I have to explain everything to you

Nami: hear him out sis. He is drunk and he won't leave until you guys talk.

Laa: Letha intwana la

I gave Loyiso to Landile and for once he didn't cry. We stepped outside

Me: khuluma ke

Him: I can't do this. Every day I miss you more and more every day. Baby I need you
back

Me: and what about your mom? What about going to jail? What about your fiancé?
Ufuna ngibe iside chick yakho mina?

Him: it’s complicated. I want you in my life. We will figure the rest out along the way.
Please ndyakcela makaQhawe.

Me: no. You had a choice to make and you made it. Now live with it. I'm not going to
play second best in your life. Sorry nje

Him: just think abo-

Me: please leave.

Him: baby please

Me: you lost the right to call me that. You were everything I wanted in a man, you
showed me how to love unconditionally, I grew through loving you and you blessed
me with two beautiful boys. I'd most probably never love someone the way I love you
ever again but you also hurt me to a point of no return. The kind of pain I've felt
because of you will take years to heal and I'm not going to allow you back into my life
just so you can hurt me again.
Insert 94

Atha's POV

On my way to my mom's house on Christmas day, I played nursery rhymes so the

boys wouldn't get bored and start crying. Seeing Lwa reminded me how she has
never left my mind since we broke up and now that I'm engage to Sno, my life feels
so empty. My mom doesn't even see how unhappy I am and I don't even know
where my dad is. I haven't seen him in weeks. I arrived home and Sno ran to my car.
I had made a promise to Lwa that Sno was going to stay far from the minions and I'm
going to keep it. She opened the door and reached for Qhawe

Me: leave him. I'll take him

Sno: let me help you. You can't carry both of them

Me: I know. Call Lu and ask him to come get them

Her: but Atha I'm here. Let me help you

Me: if you want to help me today then do me the favour of staying away from my
sons. Lwa doesn't want you near them and I have to respect that. Now be a good
wife and call Lu for me.

I could tell that she was upset but I didn't care. I never want her to ever think that
there would ever come a time whereby I would love her. Lu came out with Siviwe
and Lubabalo and they helped me with the boys and we entered the house. My mom
was busy with her sisters and my grandma was in the lounge with Sbusi and my dad.
I gave my sons to my dad.

Me: molweni

Makhulu: molo Athandwe. Wahamba wedwa uphi umama wabantwana bakho

Mom: ebezoyaphi loyo? Athandwe is getting married mom

My grandma didn't like that one bit. My dad seemed surprised as well

Dad: you are getting married? To who? Uphi uLwandile Athandwe?

Me: tata awazi? Mama uwukamxeleli utata amanyala akho? Yho

Mama: suthetha nami kanjalo Athandwe

I walked to the pool area where my brother and my cousins were braaing. I grabbed
a beer and chilled with them.

Lu: Atha ntwana I hope you know you fucked up

Me: uthetha ngantoni?

Him: ndthetha ngoLwandile. Lamntana uyakthanda bruh. She's been through a lot
because of you and still she didn't give up on you kodwa wena you couldn't fight for
her

Me: so, you want me to go to jail Lu? You know what your mom said. Ubufuna
ndenze nton?

Him: fight your mom. Protect your relationship and put the girl you love first. That's
what you should have done.

Siv: I agree with Lu. Boi you can't even stand laSno. You can't even pretend so how
will you spend the rest of your life naye? Marriage is forever bruh

I finished my beer and opened another one. They had a point but it’s too late now.
There is nothing I can do. Lwa probably hates me, I would hate me too if I was in her
position. Makaz' Zintle came out with Loyiso and he was crying hysterically.

Makaz' Zintle: this child of yours cries a lot. Mina mthathe so I can check on Loyiso

Me: lol uLoyiso lo makaz. UQhawe ilo osele in the house

Very few people know how to separate my sons. My aunts aren't one of them. I took
Loyiso and tried to hush him but he wouldn't stop crying. I played him a video of his
mom and he wanted to take the phone. He managed to keep quiet and I chilled with
him. I never understood the bond Loy has with his mom. When he cries, he doesn't
want anyone but Lwa.

Later we went in for lunch and I was still not talking to my mom. If I had it my way I
wouldn't even want her near my kids.

Dad: yiza soncokola phandle Athandwe.

Mom: noncokola nganton?

Makhulu: khawbayeke beyoncokola

We got up and sat down outside

Dad: kwenzeka nton Athandwe? Why are you so angry with your mother?

Me: it doesn't matter tata. It’s too late to change anything

Him: thetha nami nyana wam

I told him everything my mom is putting me through and he was not happy about it

Him: this is why ndizomdivorcer lamfazi. Uyaphambana

My dad stormed into the house and started screaming at my mom. It got so bad that
everyone left the room. Sno came to me while I was outside

Sno: are you ok?

Me: fokof

I downed another beer then took a bottle of Jameson whiskey and sat with it

Her: Atha please give us a chance. I love you and I know I can make you happy.

Me: lol you want to make me happy? Start with telling my mom the truth. I don't want
you. Andikthandi and I never will.

I downed my bottle of whiskey and waited for her to leave. It was getting late so I
called Lwa but she didn't answer. I was getting drunker and drunker and I didn't care.
I went back in the house and found my mom all sad and crying in the kitchen. I paid
her no attention and just grabbed another 6 pack from the fridge

Mom: your dad left.

Me: ok

Her: is that all you going to say? He is considering divorce. How will I survive without
him?

Me: guess now you will get an idea of how I feel every day.

I walked away to find Lu. I found him in my room with my sons. They were taking
pictures and videos together

Me: I have to take them back to Lwa

Lu: you are in no position to drive. I will drive you

Me: ok

We drove back to Lwa's place and after she and I spoke I was sober. Every word
she uttered sobered me up. It was only then that I realized the extent of the damage
I caused to her. I reached for a hug but she stepped back.

Me: ndcela uxolo makaQhawe

Lwa: I forgave you a long time ago but I'm not taking you back. You showed me that
I'm not worth fighting for. Tha-

Me: you are worth fighting for and I'm sorry it took me so long to realize it. I made a
mistake baby. I'm not perfect. I make mistakes as well

Her: this wasn't a mistake. You chose another woman over me. You gave up on us.
That's not a mistake. You did that intentionally. Now go back to your wife

She walked away from me and My brother dragged me to the car. I was in tears.
Every decision I take ends up hurting someone and the effect is irreversible. I wish I
could go back and make the right choice but it’s too late now. No matter how much I
fight now, it won't change anything. She is done with me and I have to move on.
What hurts the most is that I have no one but myself to blame for the way I'm feeling
Insert 95

NEW YEAR'S EVE

My favourite day in December has to be New Year’s Eve but now that I have 4
months old boys, I can't make plans. I still have the house to myself and I must say
it’s getting lonely. After bathing and feeding the boys, I called Lolo. We have to do
something tonight.

Lolz: chomam

Me: chomi unjani

Her: ndiright wethu, wena?

Me: I'm good. What's the plan tonight

Her: andaz bruh. You have kids remember so andaz

Me: I'm going to try and convince Atha to take them tonight so let's have a party
here.

Her: great. My friend is back. Ok I will call Noma and a few people. Wena organize
guys.

Me: sure thing chomi.

I hung up and got excited. I haven't had proper fun since Christmas at Nami's. I love
my kids but I'm 19, I need a little fun especially in December. I called Nami and he
agreed to come through to the party with Syanda, Andile and Landile. Now I must
convince Atha to watch the boys. We haven't spoken since Christmas and he hasn't
come to see the boys. Things were just awkward between us and I hated it. I called
him and he didn't pick up. I called Lu

Lu: MaHadebe

Me: lol unjani Lulonke

Him: I'm drunk bruh and you?

Me: lol dude it’s not even 12 yet and you are drunk. Uphi uAthandwe?

Him: yho andaz fondin. I haven't spoken to him in 2 days. Fonela uSiviwe
Me: alright

Did I have a reason to worry? I mean if something had happened to Atha, his family
would have told me. I called Siviwe

Siv: makaQhawzin

Me: don't call my son that. Its ghetto. Uphi uAtha?

Him: heey fondin and'lalanga nawe. Bulisa.

Me: ai Siviwe I'm not in the mood bruh. Where is your cousin?

Him: he is sleeping. He is drunk

Me: askies?

Him: he is drunk. He has been drinking since Christmas. He doesn't want to tell me
what his problem is but he has just been drinking

Me: ukhona umakhulu lapho?

Him: ewe

Me: alright

I hung up and took a quick shower and wore a long summer dress, sandals and
summer hat. I put the kids in their car seats and dropped them off at Nami's place
then drove to Atha's grandma's house. I found makhulu watching TV

Me: molo makhulu

Makhulu: molo ntombi

Me: makhulu ndikhangela uAthandwe

Her: useroomini. Ndineworry ngaye nontombi. Usela kakhulu and akalali.

Me: uphi uSnothile Kanti makhulu

Her: andaz, akamfuni uAthandwe. Ndcela uthethe naye.

Me: ndizozama

I walked to the room and found him passed out on the bed. The room reeked of
alcohol. I opened windows and curtains then tried waking him up
Atha: hmmmmm

Me: ai fokof Athandwe awuvuke

Him: Lwa

Me: yini inkinga yakho bruh? What's going on with you

Him: its December mfethu. Khawundyeke

Me: askies? You are a father, you don't get to have a December. You haven't seen
your kids in almost a week. You are drinking every day and not answering your
phone. What if the kids get sick, how will you know? Ai mahn grow up. Yeses

I didn't care whether he was hearing me or not. I said my piece

Him: you don't understand what I'm going through. I'm having a tough time here and
you left me.

Me: I left you? No buddy, you left me. You are getting married and you have kids.
Drinking won't change that. You better sober up because you are watching the boys
tonight.

Him: but Lwa

Me: no buts Atha. I need to let loose as well. You are parenting tonight and if I don't
find you here when I drop them off, you will never see them again

Him: ok I will watch them. Just bring them around 6

Me: get your shit together dude

I walked out and bumped into Sbusi's mom, makaz' Zintle. She walked out with me
to my car

Makaz: usamthanda neh

Me: I will always love him makaz

Her: then take him back sisi

Me: he is getting married.

Her: uyayaz ukba akamthandi uSnothile

Me: but he chose her over me. His mom wants him with Snothile. I'm just his baby
mama now

Her: thetha naye. He is behaving like this because he feels like you gave up on him.

Me: talking to him won't change anything. He is still getting married or his mom is
sending him to jail

Her: jail? Andyaz leyo

Me: talk to his mom or him. They will tell you the story. I will see you later makaz

I drove back to Nami's place and my minions were sleeping. I poured myself a glass
of juice and joined Nami on the couch

Nami: I'm worried about you sis

Me: I'm fine bro. I really am

Him: I don't think you are. You are handling this break up all too well. I know you still
love him and he loves you too but you are just being stubborn

Me: he walked away from me. I'm giving him what he wants. Am I wrong for doing
that? I can't do the whole unpredictability thing.

Him: ai lento yenu is going to affect my nephews. They haven't seen their dad in a
week.

Me: it’s not my fault. It’s his choice

Him: I give up.

I took my kids and we went home. I made myself lunch and ate in front of the TV. My
friends joined me later with meat and booze. I couldn't drink until the boys were
gone. Atha decided that he will fetch them

Lolz: guys I feel like I've been single for too long

Me: it hasn't been long enough. I'm going to be single forever

Nomz: guys its new year’s eve please don't depress me. Let's drink and have fun.
We are all getting kisses at midnight

Me: usho kahle phela wena because you have a man. The rest of us don't
Nomz: you could have Landile and wena Lolo you could have that Atha lookalike.
What's his name again?

Lolz: oh, you mean Siviwe

Nomz: yeah him

At 5pm Atha came to pick up the boys. Lolz and Nomz left the room. He had cleaned
up shame, he was looking like the Atha I know and not the hobo I saw this morning

Atha: are the minions up?

Me: nah balele. Uzobathatha belele?

Him: do you mind if I wait here until they wake up?

Me: yeah sure. Juice?

Him: yeah

I hated the awkwardness. Ngathi we are strangers waiting for our orders eKFC.

Me: can we stop the awkwardness already? I'm not mad at you.

Him: I know. I'm just going through a lot. I'm going to jail Lwa.
Insert 96

Me: did you just say jail? You can't go to jail. What about me? What about our sons?
We need you

He looked at me surprised. I don't know why because it's not like I ever wanted him
to go to jail

Atha: you still care?

Me: you are the father of my children, of course I care

Him: ohhh

He looked down.

Me: I think I might be able to help you. Look here

I showed him the pictures I took the other day

Him: is that my mom? Are those drugs? Who is that guy she is with?

Me: I don't have the answers you seek but your mom surely does. Show her these
pics and maybe that will make her change her mind about the jail thing

Him: thank you bab-...I mean Lwa

Awkwardness again. Yho this breakup is taking too long to be normal again.

Me: tell Siviwe and Lubabalo to come through for the party tonight

Him: and me?

Me: you are parenting tonight remember

Him: makaz wants to watch the boys tonight. I know I haven't spent time with them
but I will

Me: angisho lutho. You can come through as well

Nomz and Lolz came downstairs with the minions. I wanted to hide before Loyiso
sees me because I know he will refuse to go with his dad unless mommy comes with
but it was too late. He already saw me. I took him and gave him his bottle.
Me: hello mommy's little prince. Daddy is taking you today. You are going to be a big
boy, right? Ngeke ukhale angithi nana

He just giggled and looked at me. I knew he didn't understand me but I like talking to
them. Atha took pic of us while we giggled.

Nomz: so, when are you guys getting back together?

That was the last question I hoped to hear. Atha and I just looked at each other

Atha: we have to get going guys.

I helped him with the boys and the moment I put Loyiso in his car seat, he started
crying. This child is too much. He refused to stop crying

Atha: come with us, I will bring you back

Me: alright

We got to his grandma's house and only Lihle was home

Me: where's your mom?

Lihle: town. She is coming back later

Atha: please watch them. Ndfuna uthetha noLwa kancinci

He led me to the room and closed the door. He smashed his lips onto mine. I tried
backing away but he wouldn't let me. We kissed for a long time and eventually he
broke the kiss

Him: I love you

Me: I love you too

Before I had a moment to come to terms with what just happened, those words just
came out of my mouth. Automatically. I had no way of stopping them. I sat down on
the bed to calm myself down. He kneeled in front of me

Him: I love you so much baby. I know I fucked up. I fucked up big time and I'm sorry.
I'll never put anyone before you and I'll never choose anyone over you. I promise you
baby
I was lost for words. I do love him but how do I trust him with my heart again? He
hurt me. He left me. He gave up on us. How do I move on from that?

Me: I have to go

Him: ok but just think about it.

Me: I will. now take me home.

Lihle agreed to watch the boys and I snuck out. I got home and showered, wore
black shorts, black crop top and black sneakers. I let my weave hang loose and we
got the party started. Nami and his friends came with more meat and booze and
braai'd the meat. I had invited Chris but I wasn't sure if he was going to come or not.
Around 10 Landile pulled me aside

Laa: I know you've been going through a hard time but I have a surprise for you.

Me: oh ok

Him: look at the door

I turned my head and my eyes locked on Enzo. I screamed and everyone looked at
me. I ran to him and we shared a hug. I haven't seen him since the birth of the twins.

Me: buddy I can't believe you are here. Why didn't you tell me you were coming?

Enzo: I wanted to surprise you of course. You look good for a person who just
popped out two babies 4 months ago.

Me: I've been working out hard

I showed him where the booze was and he chilled with the guys. There was an
awkward vibe between him and Atha but I ignored it. Then out of nowhere Sno
showed up. I kept calm shame. I didn't want to cause a scene. My friends saw her
and wanted to attack her but I told them to relax. She went to Atha and hugged him.
He looked at me and I just turned away. It’s like we take one step forward and 10
steps back. Why did she even come here? Who invited her? She was like gum stuck
on Atha's shoe. She didn't leave his side.

Nami: guys it's 2mins to 12, you better grab the person you plan on kissing when the
clock strikes midnight.
I turned my eyes to Atha but his wife to be was still holding on to him for dear life. I
gave up on getting my midnight kiss. Just as I turned away I bumped into Enzo

Enzo: fight for your man buddy.

He walked towards Sno and Atha and by the time the countdown started, Enzo
kissed Sno and Atha and I had our midnight kiss. It felt like a breath of fresh air. Like
it was our first kiss. It felt right and when we broke the kiss everyone clapped.

Nomz: finally

Lolz had her midnight kiss with Chris. I didn't see that one coming. Sno on the other
hand was pissed. She tried going to Atha but Atha grabbed me and we walked
outside. We didn't talk. We just looked at each other and took in the moment.

Me: yes

Him: yes what

Me: I will give you another chance. Deal with your mom and we will continue where
we left off

Him: really babe? Thank you so much

He hugged me and picked me up. Sno must have been watching us the whole time

Sno: you are going to rot in jail.

Him: not going to happen. Love conquers all boo boo. You lost. Love won so now go
back to wherever you came from
Insert 97

Atha's POV

On New Year’s Day I had to drive to my mom's house. I had to get my life on track
ASAP. I woke up with one hell of a hangover but I drank red bull and hoped to be
fine. I found my boys in the lounge with Sbusi and Lihle

Me: molweni guys

Them: molo bhuti

I kissed my minions and Sbusi gave me a puppy look

Sbusi: bhuti nami ndfuna umcwa

Me: lol nyan?

She nodded and I kissed her forehead. I drove to my mom's house and found her
chilling with my dad

Me: morning guys

Dad: it’s actually afternoon

Me: my bad. Ninjani

Dad: siright. Wena unjani?

So, my mom was giving me the silent treatment. Great.

Me: mama ndcela uthetha nawe

My dad left the room and my mom was still ignoring me. I showed her the pics I got
from Lwa

Me: ngbani lo mama

She choked on her saliva and looked at me

Mom: uzfumanephi ezipictures

Me: it doesn't matter. What matters now is that you are not as clean as you make
yourself out to be. If you send me to jail, just know that you will follow soon after

Her: what do you want?

Me: I thought you'd never ask. Firstly, you going to send Sno back to where ever she
came from. Secondly you are never to bring up the thing of the pictures and thirdly
you are going to buy me a house close to where Lwa lives and you are going to rent
me a town house in bloem

I wasn't being bratty. I need these houses so that I can spend time with Lwa and my
sons. I hate that they always have to travel back and forth

Her: a house? How will I explain buying you a house?

Me: I don't know and I don't care. Make it a 5 bedroom fully furnished house and I
want it by July.

I went to say goodbye to my dad and left. When I got home I found my aunts busy
with the boys. Chuma was bathing Loyiso and Zintle was feeding Qhawe. Loyiso
was crying as always

Me: nimenza unyana wam

Chuma: iyagxola lento yakho. He doesn't like water one bit. He reminds me of Siviwe
when he was still a baby

Zintle: and uyafana noSiviwe. Even the looks. Qhawe looks like Atha

I made funny faces at Qhawe and he started giggling. I spent the whole day playing
with my sons. I had really missed them. Later I took them back to Lwa

Lwa: my minions are back. I missed you so much mommy's little boys. Come to
mommy

Me: lol really? So, you didn't miss me?

Her: lol nope. Not at all. Did you talk to your mom?

Me: yeah all is sorted now.

I couldn't stop staring at Lwa. She was wearing a short tight-fitting dress and her ass
and boobs were popped out. I got a hard on from just looking at her. Soon the boys
fell asleep and we chilled in Lwa's room. We shared a kiss and it got heated. I put my
hand up her dress but I stopped myself midway and broke the kiss

Her: and then?

Me: we can't have sex in your parents’ house

Her: just this once baby.

She took off her dress and she was wearing nothing underneath. As much as I tried
to control myself, I couldn't. My clothes landed on the floor as well and one thing led
to the other. She was on the pill now and it didn't matter much that I didn't have
condoms with me. We had 2 rounds, took a shower and just cuddled in her room

Me: thank you babe

Her: for the sex?

Me: lol no. For taking me back. I know it wasn't easy

Her: yeah it wasn't

As much as our sexual connection has been restored, I'm sure it’s going to take a
long time to restore the trust. Around 10 I left my little family and went home

1 week later

Since Lwa is going back to school this year, I wanted to ask her parents if the
minions could come stay with us in bloem. That's why I wanted the town house. I
was planning on getting a nanny as well so we can be able to focus on school. Lwa's
parents had agreed to see me this afternoon. I woke up, took a bath and wore black
jeans, black and white T-shirt and black vans. When I got there KK opened for me

Me: sho ntwana

KK: sho bhut' Atha

He led me to the lounge where I greeted and sat down

L's Dad: how can we help you?

Me: uhm tata I have a suggestion but I'm not sure how you will take it.

L's mom: we are all ears

Me: firstly, I'd like to thank you guys for everything you've done for my sons since
day one. They are lucky to have you guys as grandparents. My suggestion is that
they come to bloem with us this year. That way we get to be full on parents to them
and not seeing them once a week

Him: and how will you juggle fatherhood and school?

Me: we will have a nanny. Lwa can stay in res and she will be free to come as see
them anytime she wants to. Please sir, I need to create a bond with my sons

Her: I think it’s a good idea but wait for them to turn 6 months old then take them

Me: so, end of Feb I can take them?

Him: yes. I don't fully agree with this but ok

Me: thank you so much

I asked KK to bring them and I chilled with them outside by the pool area. They are
getting so big now. They will be 5 months old in a few weeks. How time flies though.

Lwa: you are really good with them and they love you like crazy

Me: lol except for Loyiso. He just loves his mommy.

Her: lol he is my youngest, he has to

She picked Qhawe up and I could see Loyiso wanted to cry. I just watched because
at some point he needs to learn to share his mommy and make me his favourite as
well

Her: do you think we can pull this off on our own?

Me: I don't know but it’s worth a try. We've got each other so we can raise our kids
Insert 98

I was back in res because schools open in 2 days. It felt so good to be back at
school like all people my age. I missed my minions so much but I know they will be
joining me this side when the month ends. We still haven't found a nanny but Atha
and his aunts are still looking. I was woken up by Lesedi. She is still my roommate

Sedi: we have to go out tonight

Me: why? What's so special about tonight?

Her: well firstly you are back and it’s the first time in a while that we've all been
together. I have so much that I need to update you with

Me: lol ohk let's shower, eat then update

We left to go shower and a few girls were giving me weird looks. I wonder what that's
about. We got in the shower booths and the girls started talking

Girl1: isn't that the chick that was pregnant last year

Girl2: it is her. She is or was dating that guy that drives a blue AMG

Girl3: she looks fit for someone who was pregnant

Girl2: maybe she had an abortion. Her man is hot though. Katli was sleeping with
him last year second semester. She told me

Girl1: imagine. Shame man I feel sorry for her. The baby mama not Katli

I pretended not to hear them and finished showering then Sedi and I went back to
the room.

Sedi: don't mind them. They are just bored

Me: I guess so

I moisturized my body and wore white ripped skinny jeans and a black vest. I had
braids so I tied them in a bun and chilled with Sedi

Me: let's hear the updates

Her: firstly, X and Lebo broke up

I was shocked to hear that. They made such a cute couple. Plus, X is hot.
Me: why? Who cheated?

Her: apparently no one. He got pissed because she went to KFC one night with
Lunga

Lunga. That's a name I haven't heard in a while. I wondered what happened to him.
Atha and I haven't spoken about him since the day I found out I was pregnant with
the boys. He has become so irrelevant in my life

Me: is he still in our class?

Her: yeah. We don't sit with him anymore though. Ever since what happened with
you guys

Sedi continued with her updates and it was fun to hang around someone my age and
not changing diapers and making formula. The boys were at Atha's grandma's house
since I'm not around. His aunt watches them. After our catch up session we went to
the mall to do groceries. I had my polo with me so transport was sorted. We bought
our things and as we were leaving checkers I saw that Katli girl and she gave me a
mean look. I ignored her and pushed my trolley to the car. At res the girls were still
giving me strange looks but I told myself that it will blow over soon.

Sedi: how big are your kids now?

Me: they are growing so fast. They can sit on their own now and they have two teeth
each.

Talking about the minions made me miss them so I called Atha. He was still at home.
The phone rang countless times without an answer so I called Aviwe

Avi: hello

Me: hey Avi unjani?

Her: I'm fine

I sensed a bit of tension but I didn't confront it

Me: are you home? I'm looking for Atha but he isn't answering his phone

Her: he is most probably with Sno. When I left they were arriving

Me: arriving? Together?

Her: yeah.

I immediately hung up. What was Atha doing with Sno? If that boy cheats on me,
uzongithola kahle. I tried keeping calm but I couldn't. I haven't been away from home
for more than 2 days and this happens. I sent Atha a text telling him to call me when
he is done fucking around. My eyes were getting heavy so I took a nap. I was woken
up by my phone

Me: hmmmm

Atha: uthi hmmmm Lwandile. Why are you even sleeping during the day?

Me: how can I help you?

Him: udoti wani lona ondtextele wona? I fuck around mna ngok?

Me: awukahle ukungshouta for no reason. Wenzani noSnothile?

Him: uthetha nganton?

Me: I called you and you didn't answer then I called Aviwe and she told me that the
reason you are not answering is because you are busy noSnothile

Him: what? Uyaxoka uAviwe baby. I was with uMakaz sikhangela unanny. I didn't
hear my phone because it was on vibrate.

Me: why would she lie? Actually, you know what, screw you Atha.

I hung up and switched my phone off. I tried going back to sleep but I couldn't. I
freshened up because Sedi said we are going out. I wore high rise jeans, a white
crop top and white all stars. I did a Smokey eye and put on pink lipstick. Sedi wore
something similar, just that her crop top was navy. We took pictures with her phone
since mine was off and then drove to Topaz. I called Enzo and he came through. So,
it was me, Lesedi, Thabiso, Enzo, Lebo and Thabiso's cousin Lubanzi. We ordered
shooters and painted the place red. We danced and had a good time. As I was
dancing with Sedi, I felt an arm pull me. I turned around and my eyes met Atha's. He
dragged me outside

Atha: uligxila ngok Lwandile? Uyasela ngok wena? Usukwaz uthetha nami like you
got no sense? Today ndzakbetha. Clearly ulahlekelwe iimbheko
I wasn't hearing anything he was saying. He tried dragging me to the car but I
needed to puke. My head was spinning so I stopped

Him: asambe mahn Lwandile. I don't have all night

I puked right there. Missing his shoes kancane nje

Him: uyaybona imsebenzi yoksela. Nxa. Get in the car.

Me: aibo angifikanga nawe Mina Lana.

Him: but we are leaving.

He pushed me in the car and drove off

Me: who is going to fetch my car? You are so unnecessary kodwa nawe. How did
you even know where I was?

Him: I will show you unnecessary. Don't ask me stupid questions.

We arrived at his new place and I must say the house is beautiful. Downstairs there
is a lounge, kitchen and toilet then upstairs there are 3 bedrooms and 2 bathrooms. I
saw baby things in the lounge and I figured out that uQhawe noLoyiso are here. I
must have passed out after that because I woke up the next day with a hangover
from hell. I wore a towel and took a shower then wore his boxers and vest. I looked
cute shame. Downstairs I found a lady making bottles of formula. She looked about
30/33 years old

Her: molo sisi

Me: molo

Her: mna ndinguAndiswa. You must be Lwa

Me: yeah. Where is Atha and the boys?

Her: baseroomini yoQhawe.

I poured myself a glass of water then headed upstairs. I stood by the door and
watched Atha dressing the minions. He is such a good dad. I walked in and hugged
him from the back

Atha: ndbusy Lwandile

Me: I'm sorry about last night

Him: I don't want to talk about that. Especially not in front of them.

I put the glass of water on the table and picked Qhawe up and went to bed with him.
I had missed my little minions so much. I kissed his face and he just smiled. We took
a few selfies then my phone rang. It was Enzo

Me: buddy

Enzo: bae. Unjani

Me: yho bruh I have a hangover from hell but ngigrand. Wena?

Him: ngisharp nami. I have your car neh. Ioutie yakhe said I should take it. Is he still
mad?

Me: angaz bruh. He is avoiding me. Your godchildren are here.

Him: do you blame him though? Phela you were drunk last night

Me: I'm 19 buddy, people my age get drunk all the time.

Atha walked in and I didn't hang up my call shame

Him: ai angizngeni. Just hala when you want me to bring the car

Me: alright buddy. Thanks neh

We hung up and Atha was just looking at me. He threw the baby bottle at me

Me: manje you are going to ignore me until when?

Atha: I told you I don't want to talk about this in front of them.

Me: you don't want to talk about it or you don't want to talk to me?

Him: it’s not about you kalok.

I took the baby bottle and my son with the attempt to leave the room. I wasn't going
to sit here with someone that isn't talking to me.

Him: uyaphi?

Me: anywhere but this room

Him: if you walk out, leave my son

Me: your son?

I let out a chuckle. Not because I found what he had said funny but because he was
pissing me off

Him: if he isn't my son then ungaphuma naye.

uAtha ungjwayela kabi yaz. I took a step towards the door

Him: Lwa I'm warning you kalok. Sundqhela. Sit down and feed lamntana

For the sake of peace, I sat down and fed him. Later Andiswa took them and Atha
locked the door. Ohk this was new. I was scared but I didn't want to show my fear

Him: ufuna sthethe? Asthethe ntombazane

Me: what's wrong with you?

Him: what's wrong with me? I'm not the one that got drunk last night and puked all
over myself. There is nothing wrong with me. There is everything wrong with you

Me: don't lecture me about last night. You don't hear me lecturing you about fucking
Sno yesterday. Was it good? Is she tighter than me?

Out of nowhere I felt a hot slap on my face. Atha has never laid a hand on me
before. What's going on?

Me: what the fuck Athandwe? Ungshayelani?

Him: sundbuza ububanxa. Ubusy uyandgezela apha and ufuna ndthule. Uphambene
ntombazane. I warned you and you kept pushing

Me: so that's the kind of man you are now? You find your manliness from hitting
woman? Clearly, they didn't circumcise you kahle entabeni

Another slap hit me again. I kept quiet.

Him: I've told you over and over again that I'm a man and more importantly I'm your
man and there is a certain level of respect I require from you. You can't talk to me
ngathi udilika emthini. I respect you. I never swear at you or talk to you like I'm crazy.
Is it too much to ask that from you?
I ignored him. I didn't care what his justification was, he had no right to hit me. I got in
bed and faced the opposite direction and he left the room.
Insert 99

Atha's POV

Bendyaz ukba ubetha uLwa wasn't the best way to handle things but I was pissed
off. She pushed me too far naye. It was like she was testing my limits. I left the flat
and went to campus to see X. It’s been a while since I've seen him. I told him about
the situation yami noLwa and he wasn't impressed

X: you did what? Usuyahlanya yini mjita?

Me: ai bruh bendinomsindo. She pushed me over the limit

Him: even so, that doesn't give you a right to lay your hands on her. Ntwana that's
not how we roll. You know that mos

Me: yeah, I do. It was a once off thing. Never to happen again

Him: good. Just pray that she doesn't leave you after this.

Me: uLwandile asoze andshiye bruh wam. Uyandthanda lamntana and kalok
ndam'mithisa so she needs me.

Him: lol are you hearing yourself? She needs you because you impregnated her? Do
you even still love her? Or are you just with her because you don't want her to be
with someone else?

Me: I love her skeem. More than I've ever loved anyone. Inxaki is that akanambheko
tu lamntana. Uthetha nami whichever way she feels. She does stupid things at times
and the testing of the limits is sexy at times and at other times iyadika straight.

We carried on sancokola neSkeem saam until the subject kaLebo came up. I could
tell ukba he was still into her but lento yepride is the problem

X: we had the same problem yerespect that wena noLwa have but Mina I chose to
walk away. Yeah khona ngisamthanda but it makes no sense to take her back when
she doesn't see her mistake.

Me: show her imistakes zakhe boi. Uyakthanda lamntana and nawe kalok
uyamthanda.
After an hour or so I left. I called Aviwe while I was on the road but she didn't answer
until my fifth try

Avi: hey cuzzy

Me: don't hey cuzzy me. Why are you avoiding my calls?

Her: I'm not avoiding you. Ndsuke ndabusy espan

Me: suxoka Aviwe anyway bendfuna ubuza ukba utheni kuLwa?

Her: andzange ndithe-

Me: ndyayaz ukba ukfounele so don't lie to me

She kept quiet. uAviwe ucinga ukba ndifouna ngamanzi nyan

Me: ok let me make this easy, why would lie about something so stupid. Uyayaz
ukba Lwa doesn't trust me when it comes to Sno. Why would you throw me under
the bus like that?

Her: it wasn't about you Atha. The other day Landile broke up with me and he told
me the reason. It was because of Lwa.

Him: ndakxelela ukba uLandile is in love with Lwa but you chose to be stubborn and
date him anyway then ngok you fuck up my relationship because you are jealous.
Come on Aviwe. Khawkhule fondin

I hung up because she was pissing me off. Ndathenga ukutya pha kwaSteers then
drove to the flat. The flat welcomed me with aromas of home cooked Sunday lunch. I
greeted but only Andiswa responded. Clearly uLwa usandqumbele.

Me: ndcela uthetha nawe Lwa

She straight up ignored me and carried on with the cooking. Andiswa took Qhawe
and left the room. I picked up Loyiso and put him on the kitchen counter and sat on
the high-rise chairs

Me: Lwa ndyakcela

She sat down opposite me and faced down.

Me: ndcela uxolo maHadebe. I shouldn't have laid my hands on you. Ndyakthanda
and I'd never want to hurt you in any way. I'm not your parent therefore disciplining
you isn't my job. Ndyaxolisa

Lwa: usuqedile?

Me: yeah

She got up and continued with her pots. I have apologized and I'm not going to
grovel. It's all up to her now. I played with my son and I couldn't believe that these
minions are turning 6 months at the end of the month. Time flies. Lwa would steal
glances of us and smile.

Me: ntwana uyabona ukba mommy undqumbele. Help daddy out boy. What should I
do? What should daddy do for mommy to forgive him?

Loyiso just smiled and drooled. Drooling is their thing now that they are teething.

Me: are you telling me that I should kiss mommy? Is that why you are drooling so
much?

I held Lwa's waist and she tried very hard not to smile but she did. I tried going in for
a kiss and she backed away

Me: hau baby awfun ndcamise? You are rejecting me in front of our son? You are
heartless makaLoyiso

Her: aw sengiwmakaLoyiso manje not umakaQhawe?

Me: uyamaz umntanakho ukba ukthanda over. If ndkbiza ngomakaQhawe uzawlila.

Her: it’s not like he can hear you

Me: yiza ndcamise kalok baby.

I pecked her lips and just stared at her. My love for this woman grows every day. No
matter what happens between us, I love her more and more each day

Me: umhle munt' wam. Uyayaz lonto?

Her: lol just go away please

After cooking she dished out for all of us and we ate then my phone rang. It was
Sno. I rejected her call. She has been calling me a lot lately and I'm not interested in
what she has to say. She sent me a text:

From: Sno>

You can't keep ignoring me forever. We have to talk Atha. Its important. Just
answer your phone.

I deleted the text immediately and Lwa gave me a suspicious look but I just focused
on my food. The boys fell asleep and I took them upstairs and put them in their cots.
Downstairs Lwa was washing the dishes so I offered to help. There was still a bit of
awkward silence but ndaqonda ukba it will pass in due time. I touched her arm and
she flinched

Me: and then? Kwenzeka nton ngok?

Lwa: nix

She finished the dishes and went upstairs. Andiswa went out to buy airtime and I
asked her to get me red bull. There was a soccer match I wanted to watch and I was
getting sleepy.

Lwa's POV

The flinch wasn't planned. I was seriously afraid of Atha now. We've been together
for almost 3 years now but all of a sudden, I feel like I don't know the man I'm
sleeping with. I got upstairs and watched my sons sleep. They really are the cutest
human beings in the world. Do I really want then to grow up with a father who lays
his hand on women? I want my sons to be happy all the time. I kissed their little
faces and let them rest. It was getting late and I still hadn't fetched my car.

Me: ngcela unghambisa eCUT. Ngfuna uklanda imoto yam kuEnzo

Atha: sohamba ngehalf time

Me: ok
I tried walking away and he stopped me

Him: please sit down. Ndfuna uncokola nawe kancinci

I sat down on the couch farthest from him.

Him: yizapha

He pointed to the seat next to him and I did as told. He turned to face me

Him: baby I don't like that you flinched early. It breaks my heart to know that you
think I'm going to hurt you. Andfun undoyike Lwa. I really don't want that. I told you
ukba it’s never going to happen again. As much as you deserved it, it wasn't right of
me to hit you. Trust me

Me: ngthembe Athandwe? How do I do that when you continue to break my trust
over and over again. I get that you are sorry, I understand but if you ever lay your
hands on me again, I'm going to tell Nami and my dad and trust me when I say, you
will never see the minions ever again. I mean it

His phone rang and he rejected the call and turned it upside down

Me: who keeps calling you?

Him: no one. Masambe.

When we got to CUT Enzo could tell that I wasn't ok but I didn't tell him why. There
was still a bad vibe between yena noAtha. Ivibe engigaz nokuthi iqalephi or ibangwe
yini. After we left CUT I drove to McDonald's and got a chocolate Oreo mcflurry and
drove to campus. I needed clothes for class ksasa. My phone rang as I was entering
res

Me: hello

Atha: bendithi usemvakwam, where did you disappear to?

Me: I'm getting a change of clothes for ksasa. I'll be back now now

Him: alright. Baby

Me: hmmmm

Him: ndyakthanda va
Me: I know. I love you too

I hung up and started packing. I packed two outfits and then Sedi and Thabiso
walked in

Thabs: she is alive

Me: lol why wouldn't I be?

Sedi: a ke tsibi. You left without saying goodbye moabane and o siyile koloyo yahao.

Me: ai friendship Atha came last night and dragged me home. It’s a long story but I'll
update you tomorrow after class.

Her: ok babe. I will see you tomorrow

I kissed her cheek

Me: love you

Her: love you too

Thabs: you guys are so gay

Me: lol and you are so jealous.

I drove back to Atha's flat and found him watching TV with the boys. I sat next to
them and baby kissed all 3 of them and took Qhawe. Loyiso started crying

Atha: lol you see. I told you he doesn't want to share you

Me: mthathe so he will keep quiet

Him: lol I don't know how to calm him when he cries for you. If I pick him up, he is
going to start screaming. You take him.

Atha acts like Loyiso is a super baby with super powers or something. Kodwa on a
serious note, my son has a deep attachment to me. Akafun lutho except me when he
cries at times. We watched TV until they fell asleep and we took them to bed and
gave Andiswa the baby monitor. I took a quick shower and wore his vest and
underwear then got in bed. He got in bed and tried initiating sex but I turned him
down.

Him: but I haven't been with you in weeks. Ndyakcela

Me: so, one more day won't make a difference

Him: baby that's not fair. You are in my bed with your ass uncovered and you want
me to just fall asleep? Come on Lwa

Me: I'm not going to wear pyjamas. Kuyashisa

I don't know when or how but eventually he fell asleep. I stared at him and he keeps
getting more handsome by the day. I pecked his lips but he didn't wake up. I couldn't
sleep and now I was the one who wanted some TLC. I tried waking him up but Atha
was dead asleep. I went down on him and gave him a BJ that would wake up even a
man that's been dead for centuries. He moaned in his sleep until he eventually woke
up. He rubbed his eyes and looked at me

Him: am I dreaming?

Me: lol maybe

I got on top of him and started riding him

Him: baby condoms

I got off and he put it on and got on top of me and did his thing. After 40 mins or so
and after my 4+ orgasms, he came. He took off the condom and threw it on the floor
then cuddled me from the back

Him: I thought awndfun

Me: lol I changed my mind. I'm allowed to do that right?

Him: lol you were horny baby. I didn't even have to use foreplay to get you wet. You
were already ready for me.

Me: goodnight babe

Him: one more round baby. From the back this time

We had our round and the moment he was done. I collapsed and fell asleep.
Insert 100

I had an early class so I woke up while Atha was still asleep. I took a shower then
wore a short dungaree with a white plain T-shirt and white all stars. His phone
received a text and I fought everything in me not to look at the text but I lost that
battle. I took the phone downstairs and made myself cereal while reading the text:

From: Sno>

Athandwe I'm tired of you ignoring me. We have to talk about what happened.
You can't just fuck me and then go back to living the american dream with
Lwa.

I chocked on my cereal. Maybe I read incorrectly. I read the text 5 more times and
the words didn't change. My heart broke but I held my head up high. So, Mina
nglandwa in the club because kuthiwa angihloniphi. Ngyashaywa ngoba kuthiwa
ngkhuluma into engasile Kanti sonke lesiskhathi uAtha is fucking his ex. I grabbed
my bag, kissed my babies and left the cheater's phone next to him. I made sure that I
left it open on the message. We had our first class from 8 until 10 then Sedi and I
went to chill at the bridge. There was still nothing from Atha. No SMS or phone call
and nam ke I wasn't going to call him.

Sedi: so, friendship update me about what happened on Saturday

Me: there isn't much to say yaz. Atha was pissed over a text I sent him earlier that
day. He didn't even tell me he was coming back

Her: then how did he know where to find you

Me: beats me. I'm still trying to figure that out. Anyway, he dragged me home and
next day he was avoiding me. We fought about it and I ended up receiving 2 hot
slaps

Her: yho mataka Atha o shapile? I never thought he had it in him

We chilled until our 12 o clock class and after that one, our next class was at 4. I
wanted to spend time with my sons so I drove to the house. What's the point of them
being here when I won't spend all my free time with them? The house seemed to be
quiet when I got there but my Qhawe was awake. I took him and went to watch TV
naye
Me: sawbona Andiswa

Andi: yebo sisi

Me: uhambe nini uAtha?

Her: about 10 mins ago. He said he will be back

Me: alright

I watched cartoons with my son and we bonded shame. We took selfies and videos
then his dad walked in. He seemed surprised to see me

Atha: I thought you were in class

Me: amaClass ayaphela at some point

Him: ok

He walked upstairs like he didn't know that I know his little secret. After some time,
my baby fell asleep so I took him to his room then went to Atha's room. He was on
the phone with his back towards the door so he didn't see me

Him: undfounelela nton Snothile? Iunnecessary yonke lekaka oyenzayo. It was just a
fuck fondin, kuthen wenza ndathi bekuSerious. Uphambeni. Andzoshiya uLwandile
mna just because kutsho wena. Of course, I regret it but what's done is done. Nxa

He slammed the phone on the bed and turned around

Him: so, you've added eavesdropping to the spying you are doing lately

Me: wow. So, this is how you are going to start this? That's your approach?

Him: kalok you went through my phone so you know about lento yam noSnothile

Me: oh, so you guys have a thing now?

Him: ai mahn uyayaz ukba ndqonde ukthin

Me: shap

Him: is that all you are going to say?

Me: ey bruh angifuni ukushaywa mina so I'll just stop at shap.

I packed all my things into a bag. Sengikhathele ileAttitude kaAthandwe mina. I need
my space

Him: uyabaleka ngok? Ubalekela iigxaki zakho

I kept quiet and he slammed the door shut. I felt déjà vu approaching me but I
showed no fear shame

Me: stop slamming doors, uzovusa iyngane.

He sat down next to the bag I was packing

Him: Lwa you can't leave. You can't leave your kids. They need you

Me: don't involve them in this. You didn't think of them while you were busy with Sno
so don't think of them now

I grabbed my bag and walked out. I got to res and threw myself on the bed.
Angyanga ngisho to that 4 o clock class. I must have fallen asleep because I was
woken up by tiny hands touching my face. I opened one eye and it was met by
Loyiso's face. I rubbed my eyes and sat up. Atha gave him to me.

Me: ufunani la?

Atha: he was crying and neither Andiswa nor I could keep him quiet.

Bengbona nje ukuthi kuqanjelwa ingane yami amanga la. He didn't even look like he
was crying.

Him: can I explain?

Me: no

Him: are you going to break up with me now?

Me: ufuna lokho?

As much as I felt betrayed and hurt, I still loved him. He is the father of my kids so
we share a bond that I could never share with someone else. The problem with the
heart is that even though it knows it’s been hurt, it continues to love.

Him: I don't want us to break up. Please just let me explain to you what happened.
On Christmas after we dropped the minions kokwenu and you rejected me and told
me we were done, Sno came to see me kwaMakhulu. You know how drunk I was
that day so somehow one thing led to the other and we had sex.

Me: so why didn't you tell me?

Him: I never got a chance to. Everything has been so busy lately and you recently
took me back. I didn't want to mess that up.

Me: so Aviwe was telling the truth?

Him: no. Bexoka uAviwe. She only said that to spite you because Landile umxelele
ukba uthanda wena. She is still bitter about that

Ai ke besengingaz ukuthi ngthini after that. So Laa still has a thing for me. Maybe if I
had dated him ngabe anginangane and ngabe he wouldn't have cheated on me.

Him: baby please come home. We need you

Me: come home yokthini? I'm a student and I live at res. This is my home

Him: you are also a mother and a girlfriend. You are not just a student

Me: I need space. I'm tired of this game you keep playing of hurting Lwa and seeing
how much of it I can take. First it was Thando, then Lunga, then your mother and
now Snothile. Who's next? Katli? There is always some kind of drama with you.

Him: you can't take a break from being their mother.

I looked at my son who was now asleep and drooling all over my T-shirt. They are
the most important people in my life

Me: awuthathe ingane yami uyihambise iyolala and don't ever use them as an
excuse to try sort out your problems. Aksiwo amatoyizi lana

He nodded then baby kissed me wase wahamba. Mina angsazi nokuthi

lerelationship ibhekephi. One minute everything is going well then next minute
sesiyalwa over everything and nothing. Its draining and frustrating. I called Aviwe
because I felt like I needed to clear the air.

Avi: akekho uAtha

Me: hello to you too Aviwe

Her: hi

Me: I will get straight to the point. Atha told me about you and Landile and I'm sorry
to hear about it

Her: I'm sure you are

Me: but you can't be mad at me for something I didn't do. I'm not the one who broke
up with you

Her: but it was you that hooked me up with him when you knew he was in love with
you

Me: I thought he was over it but for what it’s worth, I'm sorry

Her: it isn't worth anything

Then she hung up. Oh well I tried. She will come around if she wants to. I've done
my part. I posted pics of the twins and I and of them and their dad. Lots of people
liked the pictures and the comments were positive until Sno commented with a pic
kaAtha in bed without a shirt on. I replied to the comment

Me: your point is

Her: my point is that owethu so I should be tagged as well

I didn't want to fight or have a confrontation with her on Facebook. I'm too old for
leyonto

Me: I will tag you next time sweety.

I logged out of Facebook and I was annoyed. That little girl akaze ashaywe ngakubo
and I'm so close to teaching her that angsiye untanga wakhe and mina naye asbona
abangani.