Atian .lewl 4 Co@t.lliis,2mt, vol.

ENo Z I Z9_t52
O Tt Rolg KoS Prcf*ioD.l Cooeuiog Asiftoo
& Tk chiEc Uniffiiry of floS floos 2m1

The Imprct of Live DemoDslrrfioD Under the Beijing Sky:

Ite ShariDg of a TcacliDg Erperienc! in Chilr

Wai_yungI_ec
TrE U.j6ity dl|o! KaE

Ttroud thc coNultatioD of sir f.sjli.r, rhe althor shaJesbd

t€achiry €rFrienc€ iD Bcijing, shich uritizcd r tivc-faDily
&nd.hiop md.t. This drict€ focus6 o. rb€Et ridship of rb.
lhE di,mlioal e{coreldir th.iDt Dsityof Uvefdily id.rvic*s,
i! *rdcn lh. frDili€s, i!. lb€rE isr !d rb. i,ri.@ all forn pets of
dE ffially $qi!g aDdrEsheirg in.erFsodrl proces&A surnary
of th. itldiocc fc.dbact is also itr.tudld to give a ses. of thc
.lQors ftom ! ttqry of Fofqsion ls with diverscb€ctgbrrals.

Altboogh a g€at dcal basb€€_n

',ritten on eoriing wilh Chitrcsefamilics
in the Westcm sphere, fcw people will disputc that veiy liftle clinical
infsnatioo on frmily th.ragy Fom tb€ China naiDtand is avaitabte lo thc
Westem wo.ld. clict's (1982) imprassion of China twcnty years ago
sugg€stcdtha! thc p"ctice of family therapy wa3 vcry limit€d, if it cxisted
al aI. HaDFe sDd B€avers' (1989) l4-day rrip to China offsed a more
hopefirl eount ard reporied a sEong idrcrest in farnily rherapy h som€
C'binesccii€s, esFcialy BeijirS and Sheghai Howevcr, although Chinesc
praclitioD.$ nay Doabcfir y awaE oftbc concepisand t chdqu€s offamily
th.r4y in thc sane malrn€t lhat thc fhsrr.D weld hasd€fincd tbeio, sysacrDs
paspedivc is not lcw ro Cod[| dst ChiD.- h a culrurc in which everyonc

trt *ft.tfu6.din6isni+Gh.r.dorid*s.@io.,hrFlddidaddc.dd
id.mtlin [- ba m.E6.d b .M .MtDit'
rrd @ddaniality. TrE .rttFr wld liL b
snllhdlt rhrLds. t[. r@dr giE
b di. Fojel by b. R..6n ctu6 cMn of $.
Ir&sKoaSOa AdDiri rlniER.sr.a CtiB(rlFrNd lr((tt5l@rD. CoE Fd.@
d"! |nitrii.bSoldb. rd.tEs.diow.itrig ta Foily6hb D.F@II df Sei.I
Wdt !d Sci.l Adnitriffiioq Th. Uni6irt d HoS K6g. lolfdu Ro.4 H@! Xona.
Ed.it ryL.n@tltleltLnt

has somethingto do widr everyone else, iDdividuals md families re usedto
turctioDin8 widin ltye6 of systemsovedaPping d.e,noiher
whne the discussionsotr rhenpy wift Chines€families in lhe west still
tend ro be theoretical and genedc, a review of indigerous literabre artong
Chinesejomab in dE China mainland appea$to b€ mote dinicaly iDclined.
A grcup of Chinesepsychiarists in Kltmirs published a Dumbq of anicler
focusing on the appticarion ofsystenic Family Th€rapy telhniques. One of
their srudies reviewed the work of 137 families at the Kunming Medical
College and it was concludedthat the genenl techDiquesof SystemicFamily
Therapyworied well wilh Chine,sefamihes(Ydg, Tug, Xiu, & ZEo, 199).
Another study. focusiog specifically otr how the Sysiemic approach was
used in the lreahe of 73 families witl enotionaly distuft€d yougsteE
under 18 yeals ol4 also claimed a successrare of 86.3% (Yang, Znao, Tang,
& Xiu, 1999).These srudies seemedlo be more interestedin specific
techniques introduced by the Milan leam in its eady days. Alrhough the
definition for successdd ways !o er.amineil were not ciearly defined, the
smple size for th.se studies was imprcssive and enviable.While the
A.nerican joumals often ralk about the difficulties in engaging Chinese
families in therapy, there was no mention ofthis kind ofproblem in the
studies fmln the China mainland.
T h e i n d i g e D o u sIi te ra tu re on fami l y therapy appearsto be
overwhelmingly systenicaly oriente4 possibly due to the influence of lhe
Sino-Germarproject - a three'yearinining packageprovided by the
HeidelbergUoiveEiry- The prcj€ct membds in Cemay virit€d ChiM twi@
a year io train a goup of aboul fony Chinesetherapists ftom ditrerent parts
of China. Structural Fanily Ther-apyand some Boweniatr concepti were
also meftioned in somediscussions(l€e, Du, & Doq 1998: Ni, Ji4 Lit! &
Liu, 2000i Yang. 1995: Zhao & Xuaa 199).
In the winter of 1998I arrivEnir Beijing to ctrd'rci a dleiay wo*sltop
130
ue. Detunstrdi@ undet tha Beijins sla
on SEuctural Family Therapy. The Beijing Wone!.s ColleSe (the fnsr
univelsity for wonen in Chira), which hosted the evenl, had prepared a
oDe-waymtmr and rlte rcquiEd video e4uipmen! a professioml audience
of over sirry individuals ircluding a number of graduaresfrom the Siro_
German plojar and sir famities tiDed up for consutrarion.
It was not my irrentioD to show the audienceeother rieaimen! model,
bul to build on *har tley had already leamen.Since they se€medro be more
focusedon techniques.I was hoping 10expand tbeir perceprionof the
coniexrualelemenrsin family retationships.This anicte erill atlem to share
ny clinicaljoumey in rhis evenr! which was tater transformed inro a three-
yei training coune cosponsoredby rhe Beijing Univenity, rhe New york
Minuchin Center for fte Family, a.d rhe Hong Kong-basedMinuchin
Fou arion for tlle Family- Tl,e feedback from tbe panicipanrs will also be
included to illusrrate their b€witdermeD! if not conJusion,in exposing
henserves to a more sponreeous way of conducting therapy.
I
thc First Crse
I
The family consisted of a couple wirh two chitdren, one 2o-year old t
son ard a l4-year-old daught€r The ldentified Patient (Ip) was tbe husbrnd
who had b€a hospiraliz€d for over a year for depression after he tost his
compdny to his businessparher The Beijing Mental lDsdtution had a poticy,
which encounged family nemb€rs to stay in the hospitat wirh rle parients.
TherefoE, th€ *ife ofthis parieDrhad atso been living in the hospnat Since
the wife had to accompany rhe husbaDdin the hospitat, thei daughrerwas
sent to a t'oardirg s.hool_
The couple ald rheir son anended rhe famity session.The young
psychiatrist wbo atrendedro rhis family \ra5 also present.
This first interview wirh a Beijing fanity was a rarher sureatistic
expenencefor me. The building was dim and rhe B€ijing sbline is atways

gray in winter. tn a small interview room vith no windoq lhe busband
went on aDd oD with the story of his orded and betrayal by his business
parrDe4a slory that semed a.I too familiar to his famity a'|d hjs Fycniftist.
His wife still listened attentively, while the son looked uptighl and rcfused
to tale pan in the conversaoon
Apparendy the husbed had b€€n receiving a gear dql of iDdividuat
aftention in the hospital. It s€€medthat he was so a@ustomedio hospital
life that he had no intention of leaviry- His wife kept eDcouraginghim to
rum over a n€\r leaf, but rhe husbdd dismissed her for not knowing how
sick he was and began to conplain lo his doctor about his difrculty sle€ping
Half d hou iDto the session, it semed cleir that $e husband would
only allow me to relale !o him as a sick p€rson, and I decided to tum to the
wife and askedwhat it was like fc her !o stay in tl|e hospital for sucb a long
p€riod of tirne.At&ough lhe questioneas phns€d velv gendy,the discorDfct
€ould be felt in rhe room. She said tha( she had to do it for her husband.But
as I continued to explore her experience she begm lo pou oui her sorrow
and frustution in being kept in a mentar hospit l while she was in perfect
hdft.
I was really not suE how far I could go with the husband dd wife.
They soun&d rike a very traditional Chmesecouple.The husba disrdss€d
his wife\ opinion continuously dd retused to iespond lo ber even though
she pleaded with him- The wife seened so witling to accept a *condary
position aDdto place her husband's needsfar above her oM. My only clue
carne hon the son's silent anger toward his father, which gave me the
impressiotrthat the coupl€ ! way ofbei4 was not lefi uochaleoged- lt was
panicularly revealilg wher the husband said that he missed his daughtd
who was the "best n€dicine" for him, but irooicaly, due to his D€€dto slay
in the hospi(?l, she had b€€n senaaway-
rjve Deno6iation U,.derke B.ijine Stq
I concluded rlle sessionby agre€ing with him that his daughter would
inde€d be a b€trer "m€diciDe', for him tha. rhe hospital. I atso suggesledto
the wife thar her busband woutd be.ome bend jf she began to trea! hi[l as
a respoDsibleperuon a.d not as a patienr.
In the followiDg discussion, th€ audience of mostly trEle psychiaaisB
and psychologistswbo had observed frorc a closed circuir televisio,
€xpress€dpuzzlement. They wdr€d to lsnw 1fhy I arlendedso much to the
wife when in fact r}le husbandwas the paiient. Some of them askedif I was
the l)ar-adoxical,,nzneuv€r to bring about changes.If nor, why mt?
'rsing
I explained rhat I was noi doing dFhing delib€rate to rh€ couple, nor
did I rt to "libcrare the wonan,, as rhey Frceived. On rhe conirary, I was
tryrng to 'ture lhe mm" as rhey had askedme to do. but I was using hjs wife
AI things b€ing said, I was quire sure rlar my intenention failed ro
activate the sysrem. Then one rnonth larer I received an e mail f.on the
at|endng psychiatrist irforining me rhat the wife was plannirg to leave her
husba.d. And after much negorjarion befween rhe husband and wife, rhe
husbandtunlly left lhe hospiratand went home with her Our goal of getli,g
him oDt of the hospital wd achieved unexperedly.
The S€cond CasG
The scond casewas atso a cae refen€d from a rnental hospitat. The Ip
was a sixr@r,year old son wbo had a diagnosisof ..schizopbjenia.,, His
par€ntswere Commu.ist Party members.ard his norher in particular
irnpr€ssedme as a very tough lady who had lived rhrougl ihe upheavalsof
the Culbinl Revolution. Before I eDrerEdtbe session,I observedfron b€hind
th€ one-way mirror rhar rhe young man was Erher agitared. pacing up and
dow! th€ small room and flippirg his bards like a .psychoiic., patietrr, as
describ€d by $e rcferring agenL

However, io my geat surprise, he prcsented himself to me normally
and showeda stroog inlerestin my questioos.He describ€da Lfe $ilh a
sreat deal of difficulty at home and ar school. He said bis illness staned
when he found himself failing to keep up wi$ the rest of his classmates.
Since dEn, he had beenidtng at hom€ for three y€ars dEing which time he
was in and out of hospiials and was giveD high dos€sof psychotropic drugs.
TIle parentr werc in gl€ar despanasdlis was fien ody son.They consider€d
hjm very obedient and parien! before he b€cane itl.
This wrs an extremely hatrdsomeyoung man. wbeo I asked if he ever
had a giriftiend, he j u.nFd on his paretrts, blmiDg them for not allov,/ing
him to havc a Dornal social life. His nother explabed thrt in her day she
had rnissed her schooling due to the Culhral Revolution, therefore, she
insisted dtat her soa should put his full attention to educ2tiod. No phone
calls and Do contactr with gids were allowed. The lwo generationss€emed
10b€ caught up in opposite endsof a fastrhanging nation in iraDsition. The
parenrstalked about6€ir sauggle 0obuild up rhe cnuntry ftom the Srasroots
level in the labor force to wbich they bolh b€longed, whne the boy talked
about his wish to live a more leiswely life in modem ChiDa The motler
admiited that she wrs the lough one as compared to her busban4 and she
had Do understanding of rbe modem youth. I suggesredthen t],at Frhaps
lbis was a good time for her to ll:m fiom hs son of a new wdl4 which w3
unfaniliar to her, but the son sned to find it difEcult to respoDdto his
mother The son was kDown to have physically auacked his mother who
lat€r confess€dthat after each atock he would kft€l dosn otr tbe floor and
beg fo. forgiveoess. It seemedth, the boy neededto become sick iD ordtr
I discovered that the family of three lived iD a very tight spacewhere
therc was only spacefor one bed This ydmg man gew up sleeping rext to
his mother who slept in the middle be$e€n the husbnd and son. They had
sent the adoiescentsoo to live with his grdndparentswhen dtey found it too
Live DetuBnaian Undet theBeijin| StE
aekward io coDtinuewith suchpractice. However, now that rhe
son was itt.
he eas back hoine agair and took up .he sam€posirion with his parenrs
in
b€d- I remembercdrb€ soD'sagitated gesture wben I tooked in fron
behind
tbe oDe-way miror. Ir s€€medrhar he was desperately crearing physical
spacefo. hins€rby pushiDgout ar his resEictedboundaries.However wben
I encouragedhim to Degoriarewirh his parenrrfor new boundaries,
his
aaicuration disappeded, aDd be b€cane sp€echtessin respoDding
ro his
nother whds€ rc-nonsense approach le€n€d ro silence both ber
husband
It was a sad case wtb a classic Freldian lndenore ser againsta
Conmudst backdrop. The son was motivared to cbange, and be
slowed
thar he could be norrnai with rhe tberapist during rbe session.The
nother
also waded her son to be indeFndenr and not sickty, as be had b€aome.
The fa$er, who had wirnessedin despan th€ sauggte berweenhis ,rif€
and
soo, c€rtainly wancd the siruarion to be different. Bu! all ttuee were tocked
rn a small room borh physica y and nentally, unable to rnake any
new
I was calefit nor ro touch on rhe parents,relarionshipbut simply defircd
the youth's problen as ditrcrnry iD gmwing up, and got rhe parenr.!io work
together in h€lping hnD to team lo Degoriarea new beginning for himse]f.
This ca!€ also insp;€d a gT€ardeal of rhoughi-provoking discussion
amo.g $e audiercc. Som€ suggestedthal rhis frmily representeda t$e
ir1
the Commurist r€8ime where gender diff€r€nce rs nor always
easrly
drstinguishableas mer and women dress up sirnitarly and p€rforn rhe
sane
dutie.s.Some women becone ..g€nerals', Dor only aawo* but at
home as
well,leaving rhe wonen isolared while th€ husbandsanatsons ofren
fait ro
live up lo her demandsas in rhis case.
The exEemely timired tiving space thar has forced many families !o
 Live Deho8tta.ion Uhd$ the Beijins St
,
limit .heir activilies ir bed was seenas an important issue that had shaped I askedbo& of rhem,..Do you tike what
rs nappeningnow in China?,,
many patlems of jnte.p€rsonal dilemma. One worker reponed a case io They both responde4..Ir basneverb€€D
bener..I said,.Then, shoutdnl
which the mother war so used to falting asleep wirh her iDIant son while you beproudofyour coreibution ro
thecounEy?,,TheIadysaid,..yes,bui
breast,fcedingthat lhe son could not fall arleep withour sucking the now I havenothingelsero do. They won,r
evenajiow me ro readthe
morher's b.east eycn when he reached puberry. It seemed that tbe newspaper.They$y I becomerooanxious.Ano Iney
don,t wanrmero lalk
restricted envimrmeDt war crcating nany adjusinetrt problems, which
had no. been put to question previously. But how far ole s psychologicar
space\vas ned to physical space and whether more physical space coutd I roldber$ar shehada mosrfa:cinaring
. sror)andshe,houtdwriren
faciliiate better psychological space ,rere rwo imponant issues thaa oo\4n.r lotd her rharI wasrlso a sroryre
er andwrrbherperrrissionI
require much more clinical exploradon. rrould like ro *rite abourher.Shetooked
sur?nseda,adaskedhow I woutd
do that.
Dr. I-oDg-Ji Sun s (1996) cl^ssic The Breatt-Suckiry Narrn may also
provide interesting cultunl peEpectives on rhe narion's psyche, whicb is I saidI would *rite, ..I metrhis couple
ir Beijingwho were ,old
still clinging oo ro i|J botde- comract€s,'
ard in rhecours€of ole how, tbeyrook
mettrough thiny yean
of C'hina\ conremporary history_ an experieDce
the Third Cas€ rharr hadmissediDny
osnlife. For duing rlose yean whiie rhey
wereIghtiDg with thentivesto
The third casc involved a rerircd couple, botb of whon were devo.ed rcbuildour couDtry, I waswaDdenng in a setf_imposed exilein forejgn
Communist Party officials. Wllen I asked dEn ro defiDethen prcblem. tbe l a n ( j !.- ."
uife. $bo had beeDdis"nosed as scbizopbrenic.rold me tbar she had
contractena "political ilness." In one keath, sbe explainedhos- she starred I did nor compter€ my story as I began
. to choke up. She tooked ar me
life with a vision, a dream and a conrnitrnenf which the! rumed our lo be with 8re?r anaz€menl As our rwo para|€l
lives crossedar rh,sjuncture tike
an illusion, 3nd she had ended up in delusion. rwo sepante tines meeting. her story
merge.l irto that of my owr.

ln the sameillusu'ative trrlmer thjs lady rold me her story, which ro WreD I retumed ro the cl.ls.oom, many
ot ne panrcipanrs were in
tbrough lhirty yeds of political srruggle jn China. Her husband. fron tearsai they fouDd rhe sessiontouchjng,
bllt some of rhem were puzzted, as
IDdonesia.like rnany tndo,Chineseyouth ofiis rime rerumeatto the a storyof $e Cutturat Revolurio.
had long lost irs auorencelD China. One
motherland to "s€rve the counrrt-" Joined by a mutual dEm ofbuildiDg a askedifmy rea$ w€re pmt of a ..rectmique,,
becaus€r seemedlike a powertul
Dewcouney, theseComnunist comradesdeyoted their domgtic and cm€er rnaneuverto ll€r. The best comptirnent
I bad ever rcceivedin reachingabroad
tives edtely to the CornmuDistPafy. Now thar they werc borh Etired lhe came Fom someonewho totd me ,.you
have rhe advsnlageof coming in as
husband was more able to adjust to a quiet domestic life gardening and a strmger becauseyou can tlring new
meanirS ro an old srory,,
fishing, but his wife had difficdty letting go and had beome agitated dd

This expe.ience was atso inreres.irjg

ro me in tnat I reatized I was nor

enteringinto the famiy through tbe interperconalarcm $ar I 1l3s accuslomed
!o, ratber ft wa-sthe lalger political theme which servedas a common *read
ro weave not oDly lhe couple's €latioDship but also my connection to them.
The Fourth Case
The fourth clse involvei a rcya old young man who was describ€d
as a '\ele.!ed mute." He was only willing to respond to ny questions by
nodding and shaking hn head to indicate his ag@rcnt or disagement-
Fo. exanpte, wher I asked him if )e was inteEsten in girb, he shook his
head. When I asked if girls were interested in him, he nodded. Simildly,
when I asked if his reaon for not talkjng had anything to do with school
probtems, he shook his he3d.Wler I asked if it had anything to do with his
family. he nodded.This was an interesting contrastto his parents'insistence
that thet son's problem had Dothing to do with dE family.
This was about aJ the information rhar I could get our of the interyiew.
Although $e parelts admined that they had had some ndital problems,
both claimed that dEse had beenresolvedand saw lo point in going rhrough
rhem again. The young rrE, o! the other han4 s€em€dto imply rhar ud6s
his parentswer€ will;ls to addEsstheir problems openly,he would conrinue
to retuse talking.
Tbere was a stong pull between fte paEnts dd son; the tension was
nounting up in sileDce.I decided rojoin then in then s e.@.I noticed $at
the son kept lookinS at his mother who was a.v€ry artnctive lady- w}len t
askedif his lack of interest in gnb wd due to lhe fact dla. few women could
natch his mother's gace and b€aury,he respondedwith a smile-
The lack of words soon shapedmy iftedention snd I bege to tuin to
the use of space.I asked the youg ma! to come clos€r and k!@l berwen
his pa.ents. I said lhat when we re young, our parenrs look very big dd
imponant, but as we groq they b@ome smaller. I askedthe young man lo
Ijre Denonnrction UnnerAe Beijias St}
get up and lool at his parentslrom a few feer away. rhen
move back a few
feet fidher and look ar rhern again. He did as I suggesredunt
he rcached
the end ofrh€ room.I arked ifhe woutd tike to took at them fron
even
firther away, .nd suggesredrhat he coutd standon top of a chair
The young
iDan got up on a chair and since he was raiher tall, he coutd
see rhe small
op€nmg above rhe door. I said thal as we grow older. our eyes
stan looking
out of fte window inro rhe outside wortd, and our p
smaller The young rnan fotlowed ny inst uctjons quieily and |e
began to
cry. He crien for a long time as he was slandi,g on top of rhe chair.
lookng
out into the opening, whjch, unfonunateiy only openedup irro a
hallway.
This was not a nrneuver that I had usedpEviously, although rhe
use of
spacewas nor a DewconceF jn Structurat Family TheEpy. AI
experjenced
thenpisrs haveaccumulaftd a gr€at deat of rechnicalmdeuvers
in rheback
of their Dinds. The quesrionis, what triggers rhe .he.apist to
use wha!
maneuver and ar what given point in time. For Ine, ir was nor
a conscious
decision, bur nther, a murually shaping and reshaping process
illat act like
a grant haDdthat molds me and aU the invotved panies ilto ,ew
shapes.At
in€ eD4 an experientiat dEnu had taken fom, which surpnsed
not onty tne
audreDce aDdfie famijy. bur aho me. he drempi\l
After the lasftwo cases,I rhought that I had eMausrco my energy
md
emoUoul capacities.But $e folowing two casesconrinued
ro push me
into different directioDs.
Th€ Fifrh Cas€
The fifth caseiDvotveda l5-year_oldboy whohadbeen hospiralized
for overa yearfor psychoricepisodes.Again. his moiher was
hospitalized
with hin. The farher was a successfulbusiDessnaD who was very much
agaDst putring rhe boy in !h€ hospitat. He was parricutarjy
againsrputting
the sor on psychotropicdrugs.Indeed,the boy seemed
heavity drugged
ano rI was rather difficult for him to function withour
dozing off. H€

spok€ of a voice iDside his head, which kept him away from school.
However, as I coDtinued to talk to him in a normal way, his affecr
imploved and he gave me a good description of his hospit.l ljfe. This
fanity of rhre€ Fesented iiself as having exFemely low energy; rhercfo'e
it was not easy to cany out a convcrsation with rhem. The boy said rhar
he did nor like lbe hospiral.and his Dorher addedrharbe had beftiended
a girl of the same age there, and he *as very upser when this girt lefr,
The boy semed to brightetr up a lisle when rhe topic ofgi.ls was rouched
upon. The turnjng point of this case came when the farher and rhe son
beganto have a "mao to man" ralk- The boy was keen ro find oul how
his father met his motbe., derails about rheir romaDce,and quesdons
r€galdiDg why his farher'r 6rst mariage failed. tt se€medlhar the boy
was very concernedabourhis parents reladonship.
I did not offer the family any solution to r]le boy's probteln, bur rhe
p@nt! were obviously happy to experience the son as a nom'l youth and
not a psychotic patient.
Agam, the audiencewas quite curious about how rbe whole rhing
evolved. Tbey claimed that they would rever have believ€d ir possible for a
father and son to have such a good ralk, panicularly iD relation to g s,
since this was not in their penonal experiencenor itr their undelsrandingof
the Chirese culture. The Euth is, it was not my om cuttural and personal
experience either, but iD view of lhe lek of ropics that semed ro inteBr
this family ofthree,Ijurt took a riskand uieddleboy's i erestiD a gnl and
pushed for the father-son interaction. This showed u that sometimes it is
possible ad €ven usetul to br€ak some norms and do urhinkable rhings_
After all. therapy is a processof inEoducing Dovelry.
Tbe Sixth Case
This was a big contrast ro rhe pr€vious cas€.At 10 yens o14 the Ip in
thrs casewas described.s a litde norsrer whde behavionl problems *aned
Lbe Denoneranon Unde/theBeijiae Stq
in kinderyateD and b€crme wors€ each year. His mother went lo rhe same
scbool when she was yoEng and was atso described as having behavioral
pmblerns back then.
The school pnncipal came with the famity for this consultation. She
said ahatthe boy was so out of conFol, thar if be had had to viait any tonger
for the inieruiew,he would have succeededin rearingdown rhe waiiing
roorl! if not dre entirc buitding.
TheE was nemendous pressure on me to pedorn. I tded ro lesisr rhe
push bu. sooDrealizedtha. if I did nor rcryond. I woutd also be tom apan by
the groDp.
When I finElly gofto see the boy he selned like a normal rGyear_old.
I rold him dnr I had been i.formed t\at be had a great skiil in ciimbing up
walls and succeed€din escaping any co!fineinent imposed on him. I asked
hitrr if he could get oui of the interaiewine room if we were iocked in. He
looken around !€riously and replied that it was lery €asy, atl he had to do
was to st? on the doork ob and reach for rhe window abov€ the door Jusr
two sleps and he would be fie€.
It was quite easy for me to relare to rhis boy. He was cooperalive and
well-spok€r. He rold ne inar he had never don€ anyrhingwelt, and was
rejected by everyoneat schoot.His only hope was ro b€comea masterof the
nrrtial ans, so rhar he coutd avenge allthe wrongs that were done to hjm.
His parEDrsb.longed to tbe poor workilg class.W}len the situarion was
re3lly bad, rhe school had i.structed the farher to attend ctasseswirlr his
son, so that he could control the boy when no one etsecould. Sucb an
arraDaement,of course, isolared the boy firnher fron his classnates. And
$e father was so amoyen for having ro anend schoot with rhe son rhat he
just beat hin eve, more.

The boy had leamed to b€come v€rj rough and he said that physical
punisbrneDtw3s nothitrg to him. As he lzlked abouathe unfair treatment rhat
was imposedon hirD by tbe school syst€ar he becarDevery mgry and stafed
to cry. Tbe protest of a young cbnd in terjs pmved difficult for the atults to
deal with- His parents staJtedto scold him ald eveD the school principal
who was sympathetic to the boy could not belp tul kept telling him that she
had a job 1odo-
It b€came clear that the boy and his nother were closely connected.
Both were regarded as misfits in the society. Tte boy was said to have
walked miles to look for his mother at wo* wh€trever he could get
a\tay. It las also clear that the boy was a lot brighter than his p@nts,
who l'ere also rejected by the larger systen and labeled as "poor
parents." It was iDterestingto see that while the pa.e s were lacking
verbal expressionand comp.eheDsibility,the son was ou.spoketrand
Locked in a dght and supprers€d systen, the boy reminded us of rhe
Ebetlious l€gend of the Monkey KiDg. Tuming heavenupside dom seem€d
to be the only way io escapethe imposition of fte herveDly Gods. And tie
belief that one person with uDbeatableporers can defeat the ertire
bureaucratic system appsred to be embedded iD lhe narional psych€ as
indicated in th€ popularity ofrhis favorite classic- Looking at rhe boy's
problem io the light of the Mookey King leseDd seemed to give a new
trteaning to his behavior.
The audience, Iike ne, was very nuch dnwn to the boy and his pain.
The principal who witnessed this intervie* was also toucbed by rhe boy's
story She moved ftom a position ofdefending tbe position ofthe school at
the begimiDS, to tle conclusion thar 'tne boy's bebavior is partly shap€dby
the s.hool systen" She proini!€d to act as a bridge betv€en the boy and lhe
Uve Dnonstatio^ Undertte Beiine Sb
Disflrssior
I have reponed thes€casesin the exaci sequeDcein which I saw them.
I have done lbis becausewhen se€nalone, each presenB iis oM particular
n mlive pattem, but whe, experienced together rhey form a kaleidoscope
of colols thrt guided Ine on an extensiv€cultural tour The impact of marathon
live family inteniews is indeed labor,intensive and emotionatly demanding
for both fte tminer and the trainees. Some of tbe more experienced
participa s, who were graduatesofthe Sino Gend FaiDing projec! sh?red
their obs€rvarions in lheA €-nail conespondence and laler sent me copies
for rcferenc€. Th€ folowing is a brief suriJnary of the Eaineei renarks. It
was miften in the form?r of an Intemel chat room with one trainee starting
a remark and otber trainces adding in their comnents or interjections in
'TheD I first attended the lecture by Dr. Lee, I fouod her ideas very
differenl from what we have lea.n€d fron our Germen teachers.In
comparison with my oM theoEtical ftmewor* dd pra€tice, I fouod a lot
of contradictiois in her demonstrations and I rejected her teaching at the
beghning. Hopever, afrer tbe taining, I found mys€f begirrriDg to use her
rDethodsunconsciously. When I went back to check my notes trlGn during
thc training, I rcalized rbat without thinling car€fuly, I had adoptei 90% of
her t€aching into Dy work." (lntedection frorn arorner p€non: What would
you have lemed if you had be€n IIIINKING CAREFULLY?)
"hdeed when th€ tberapist asked whal we had leamed from her
frst inteniee, my respoDseat that time was that I did not learr anyrhing.
I rhougrhtwhat she taught us could be simply summarizedin rwo padsl
The tusl pan was the ideas we had aheady learned - correcr ideas.
The other part were ideas that were Dot compatible wilh what we had

leamed - wrorg ideas." (Interjection: I felt rhe same when I first
atteDdedher demonstration iI Hong Kong)- 'Luckily, after half a day, I
was able to re adjtisr ny focus. This experi€ncereminded lt'e of the
Zen story that a tull cup holds no new water. I have to iake along more
empty cups for my leaming in th€ tuture-"
The Inponan e ofJoining
"ff the therapist was lisrening to the exprience of an old couple, she
was in tems. She laler explarned that there was Dothingto be woried about
if you got emotiolally irvolved. Her position was puzzling to me because
we had leaned to be always 'reutral' ftom our Gemen t€ach6. And yet
she b€lieved that therapists should be flexible and be able to be rcural
sonetimes, and other times to tate a positioo depending on the sioradon."
(lnterjetion: Tlris is esiier said the done-) (IDterjectioD: Is this agaiDst
Neutrality, or what?)
"It works in the sameway ash)?nosis- I us€dto believeft was r€dunddt
to repeat the sdne m€ssagein the thenpeutic session.In two of lhe cas€s,
the therapisl rep€atedhels€lf agah and again. In the caseof lhe l4-y€m-old
boy who retused to talk she said rep€atedly, It must be diffolt for you to
be so concemedabout your parenas'relarionship.'And the boy beganto cry.
iele-sing his pain and sutreflng- It seemedthat her repetitivenesshad a djEct
and powertul etrect on the boy'r iDq ser." (Interjection: How ca, you lell
that the boy's weepiog in Ihe s€ssionwas createdby hs Ep€ated use of the
sme senteoce?)'In the caseof the I Gyear-old boy *no *?s our of conFol
and vowed to fight the wodd ofitrjustice, the dEEpis. repqted hers€f agaia
'I und€rsiandthat it mus. be very peiffn and upAelting6 people .round are
not happy with you ard always rcjecting you.'Gndualy, her words calnEd
the naughlv boy dd he staned to por his feelings out fiom the bodom of
his hean. She later €iplained tlat Epeating the same messageio differc
mannersis a way of cnating ineDsiry Inde!4 it @ted m atrnosphereand
Uye DznDNtation U.der the Bei iaS Stq
contert in which peoptein ir had ro gradualtyrespondto her seeningty
Don-pushing mann€r."
Cotttt@icatinI with Chi 1drc4
''ln the six cases.four of the Ips wereboysag€dbetween
t0 a.d 15.
Someof then wercaDdousandnervous,sone werequierandsomewere
active.h ber demonsbalion,the rherapist€mployedditrerenrapFoaches
accordingto eachchitd's personatity.andsuccessfrrllymaderbenervous
cbild .elax, lhe silent onerespond,andthe activeonesettledown.I was
inpressedby how shenaragedro find relaredtoptcsroengagerhe
cHldren
iD iDteresringconversations. I rhoughtsomeropicscould noi be discussed
betwe€nfarbemrd son,for insrance,.whendid rhe farherbegin ro
show
iDrerestin gids?'But whensheprornoredrhistopic to rhefarherandson.
ir
did leadto b€ttercommuDicarion b€rweerrhem.I wasamazedat how she
could bEak tbe raboos."
Dealingwith ConJIi.r
"Oneoflhe skils us€din StructuratFamityTberapyis EDactrnenr. The
therapistmadeuseof this sknt ftequenlly. Shecontinuouslyencouraged
family membersro tatk ro eachorherdirecrty.,,(Interjecrion:I have
been
usingthissli oncouptesrhatcarnorcommuni€tewith eacbotber.Alrhough
n wasdifficulr to ga shrted,slrprisirgty, ir oflen workedout 6ne.The
use
ofenactrnentalsoprovidedan opportunityfor the coupresro practrceed
rcheanewharshoBldbedoneat home.)..Mymainconcemrsllow to
contr.ol
thesitoationifrhe couptesrais roquarel duringanenacdDenr?,, (lnteiedion:
I badthe saDeconcemtoo.)
'"Theiierapisr did morerhanjusr ralk during ner
sessrons.Sheused
differentkindsofSestures,espeialy vidl chndren.Whe, shemerrie clierrs
sheshookhsndswitb eachof rhem,and askedrnemro wnte down the;
nameson a pieceof paper Sheoftenaskedthechild.ento standup
so rhar
 rjye Detu narion Utu*t the Beijins St{r

she could seehow tal they wqq She asked the child to excbange his s€at Maki"g Uv olYour lw,aace
with his Ddotherso that his parentscould talk !o ea.h other face-to fa@. Th€ 'The therapisrofteDrold rhefamity that .I am not familiar with you,
silent te€nagerwas asked to sland on the chair to s€e ifhis pamts looked situation,canyou pleasete me moreaboutit?, I recalledDr. MacDonald
snaller fion this new persFctive- She also movei hersef away ftom th€ (G€rnanteacher)atsoused.hesam€racdcwbenhe gavetectures.
He used
family so that they could talt freely. But she never pows tea for family to askthe ciienrs ro rep€aror to speal up becausehis hea.ing was
poor
nenbers, and ehen they cry st€ Devergives tlten tissue! (she only moved Insteadofusing aurborityro give insrucrion,rh€therapistwasusing
hisher
pbysjcaiweatnelsor cukunl djtrerences in pushingct,en6,nroacrion...

'Tbe thenpist did nothing hn vait who quiet childen Efirs€d lo answer
her questions.W}leD the pfie s tried lo answer for the childre[ sbe would
suggest tlat the chitdEtr be given more time to give a respoose on then
ow!. Wirh rhe case of the selecied mute it took more than 10 mi.utes.
Everybody tept quiet and wait€d for tbe young rnan to respond.Th@ was
tremeDdouspressue causedby waitiDg dtrough the silac! for s'rch a long
tine. Afler dnr she told him her owD story She said, 'Wbfl I was 13, I also
decided not to talk. Do you know why?' The boy shook his head. 'I think
rhe world was too noisy. Do you know how long I kept q'iiet?'He shook his
head again. 'Two years! People tried to help me. Guessif it worked.'The
boy aDswered No.' 'You lnow the way adults r.y lo help does not always
work.' The boy still did nor say much. Bua he listened attentively and used
his tears to respond. I described ihis ability to join $e boy in his sileD@as
'persistency.'Sometimes,what we lack is Dot skills but pelsislency."
(Intedection: But isn't penistercy a sk as wel?)
'The thenpist defined atl the childEn's problerDsas 'having diffic'rlty
in growing-up.'In our previous training we have been laught to get to the
core of the problens and ask the families to control the problems. Her
approrch was to chaDgedifficult psychological problems to developmeEtal
ones, which seern€dto make it much easier for the parents to hmdlc- h is
much better than iellitrg parentsthar their clildrEn aE mntal patients."
Mt Gaits
"I sswtharl€e's th€npy did not hav€anystandardsr.ocnfe.It wasnor
stnictural,Dorsystemaric,nor srraregic.Shewasv€ry individuatized
in the
sens€thatsheis guidedby herintenction with thefamilies.I wasreninded
of a storyof a samuraiwho vowedto d€feata high mont. For rwentyyears
he hadstudiedall rhe manial an approacbes andacqutueda lhe fighting
tecturiques,but the mont only snnledwhenhe heardaboorit. In
the Dexr
decade,when the leamedrharrhe samuai was naking beancurd
'lont
daily,hebegEnto worry.For hebew rhartbesamuraihadleamed
th€nost
powerftl shll, whichcarn€fiom tbepnctice oftife. Likewise,the
th€mpisr.s
skills in working ,,rith famites shoutdatsoreflecrthe tif€ sirua.ion,whicb
changesconstanrly_"
"This lherapisrwas nor keenon changingthe tamilyt i,reracrive
pattemsiInsEad,shepr€ferredto rev€allbe co.flict anatrhe
transactionrl
patternsof the family. Shedid not useparador,or anythng
tharwas
tleoEtical or corclusive.Shewasnot ke€nro set rhefamily anything.When
familiespress€dfor an s'swer, sh€atwaysa.sweEd ,.ith uncenainty.
By
conparison,I am sril findiDgir h.rd roEsist giving famitiesa prescription
'"Io coDclud€,I am mostimpressedwith rbrcerhingsin the th€rapist,s
demonstRtion:( I ) The useof enacrneDr.
(2)Theuseof space.Thescenario

of rhe boy standing on fie chair and weeping as he looked outsiib rh€ room
was ind€€d very touching. (3) Her friendliness toward the fanily mdnbels.
Duing the inlereiews she shook heds wfth rhe fdily rembers to show
her support and etrco'rragementfor then actions, Thaa was probably $e
easiestthing for me to take away from the demonstration."
Conclusion
One catr dilcuss this teachingexperiencedrough many different lenses,
such as the cuhrlal penpective, .he one<hild pheDomeDon,genda issues,
as weli as clinical options. ln this articlc, I would like to focus on the
relalioDshipof the $@nimensional encounterin the intensiry of live family
inErviews, in which rhe nutualy shapitrg atrd resbaping interpersoMl
Focess has an impact that is seldom addressedin fterdpy (t €e, 2002).
wlen the theEpeutic stageis obsqven by a live audience, the fear of
boring myself and the audierce from behind rhe one-way mirror seens
to necessitate a sense of etrtertainment as depicted by Cloe Madanes.
In Madanes's view, ertertainmeni relies heavily on metapborical
communication and ofteo plays witb confusion and misunde.stading,
wherea! education irvolves infomEtion md the tmnsmissioDof ski s with
no place for contusioo and misederst nding of symbolic comunication.
The exception is, of cours€,in rhe htuing of lhenpy. When the lerming is
to solve problems of living, teaching must take place at differenl levels
(Madanes,1988).
For thd natter, I am quile pleasedwith the audierce's fedbek, which
appeared to reflect a compler and intense @ge of erDotiodal reactions.
Live family intwiew fo. the purpos€of traintug is a Fadiion in the field of
family 6erapy. It is d€€mednecessaryfor nes therapisls to observe how
the exp€rienced ones work. In tl|e raining of Asian therdpists where the
clinical culture is stilt uoderdeveloF4 live observabor ofdE clinical process
helps to bridge the gap betw@n theoreticzl l@ing and clitricd application.
Li,e Denonstotion Unn* th. Beiins stq
In my siruarion, s;!ce I am Factically a sranger in Beijing,
it is equalty
imponant for me lo a\plo!€ how lny therapeuticapproach can
be applied 10
Iocal faDities. Howevea any demonstiarionof a clinical
aDDroachis
idiosyncraric m Mrure. as rr is atwa) s reflecnve oi tle p.rronl
,O f. of,f,.
dcmoDstmtor Fm a moment, rhe tr-aiDeesare pur in an audi€nce
posirion,
laking a back s€at while iD€vitabty evaluating tle work of tne
lrainer. One
can always argDerhat it is like going to a show or a
!€rfonndce. To make
the best use of live demonsrration,a more sysremarictraining
program has
However, rhe aim in SrrucruralFamily Therapy trainirg is ro
hetp
thenprsts io develop an op€n system, one rhar can aataprto a wide
range of
familial and sociat contem. I rhink thjs nainjng €xpedence
has hetped to
€xpand the panicipants' p€rception offamily relarions as rhey
were able to
witness first-hand th€ drdia of si{ fanilies. I was very impress€d
willl rhe;
abitj.y ro obsfee deraits,then inquisitiveness.and their inrercstit]
techniques.
Ir is true rhal I used€nacrmenrconrinuouslyi, aU the inrerviews.
The
advanrageof such is for rhe audiencelo wirness the family
drama by
lhemselveswitb no ne.d for explanarion.Dunng the va.rious
famity sircoms
or d.amas, I could rhen chatlenge the wife's seemiDgtytoyal
commimenr
lo the husbaDdas iD dle first case, tum a schizopoeDrc young
man mro a
norlnal yourh, join wjti the Conmunisr warrior, help a selected
muce to
exp€ss hiDselfin siteDc€,iftoduce the topic of sex to a farier and
son. and
rame a moi'srer in rhe finat session.Wlile alt this was goinS
oq I was also
in dialogue witn rhe iDlisibte audience fiom betund the one,way
nirroi
*hoa atrh.ipated responseshad inevilably influeDced my
Fdormance in
Ofthe six cases,fow w€re from mentat insriturions and two were
from
.he scboot system_The involv€menr offaniti€s was dicrated by poticies
in
both sjstems. Two of the casesinvolved boQitalizarion of fanily rnenbers,
the wife in rie fiIsr case, and the morher in the fou.th ore.
ln the school

system, the parents were asked to atterd school when their child was i[-
behaved, as ilt the case of the lGyear-old misfit. Clearly, families were
rnaderesponsible for other me.nbers, paniculady io ille ca$ of minors lt
seillts to me that thesefamily-oriented policies. which cm be bwdeniDg to
families, can also pave solid gound for rh€ developrnenrof family lh@py.
On the one hand, dis taching experierce put me constantly in touch with
my theoreticalfianework while at tbe sametime, lherc was m urBeDtDe€d
fo: me to stray away from my own therapeutic orientatiotr. At the end, I
came to undenta more tully why Sauctural Family Therapy is more a
way of thinting than a set of te.hnical steps (Minuchin, l-ee, & Simon,
1996).
Sa.lMinuchin is the founder of Structoral Family Tbempy. He is also
my leacherwho n€ver stopcftom pushing ne ro explorEnew horizons-Wlen
I ralked ro him abouthow I applied dte Structur:dlcorcepls to Asie famili€s,
h€ ofteD respondedwith: '"That is boring,I know how to do tha! tell me
somedringnew!" In my quest for onginaliry ody when I told him about ib€
ColmDist couple in the secondcasedid be rcspod: 'Thar is neq I could
Dot do thai." I took it.i his way of saying that a thenpist has to lransfolm
hisher own uniqre experienceinto a theraFutic encoDter, something that
is b€yondiechoiquefton any given $enFutic fi'lmwork. And my Beijing
encounter has certainly expand€d my capacity for interconnectednessand
emotionality in the unfamiltar led of my home count-a
Il seems$at the inpad of nararhon live family intwiews hasinaensfi€d
the leaming expqience for both the traiEs dd tlE Faine. If tbe int€rest of
the audience determines the successof the shoq lhere is no question that
rie sir families put on quite m inpressive show.
Glick l. D. (1982).A fuily therapi$ in rbe People\ Republicof ChiDa-
Intendriotut rotut of FMi, Thcmpt, 4(3). 1'77-183.
Dve DercNtution Undzrth. Beijine Skr
HaDpson,R. B., & Beavds,W R. (1989).Fd;ly rherapyin the peopte,s
Repubficofchina: An update.Contenpo/ary FadilyTheq,J, (4J,235_
245.
l4e, W Y (2!02) Ore Therapis! fd cultEs: Wo.kinSwith frndlies ir creater
C\;rL .Iounal oJFMilt Iherdpt, 21(3), 258-27s.
Ie, Y 1, Du, Y F., & Dou. Z. J. (1998). Fmily systemsL,ucturedd famity
tbdapy GnCaiDe*).lor@l of ChaasdeMedicat Coltese, rn:1), t9_81.
MadlDes,C. ( 1988).Fanily lherapyFainir$ It s e.renaimenL In H_A. Uddte.
D. C. BreuDlin, & R. C. Schwstrz (Eds.), Hdtdbook oJfonitr thetup)
tainitq aad srpedi'ion (W. 379-385). New yorl: Gui]fdd p.ess.
Minucbi!, S.,lre, W. Y, & Sinon, c. M. (1996). Ma$ eriag
fatuit, theropy:
JoumeysoJsmnh ad tesJom4rbL New yorL JohnWit.y & Sons.
N, J. Z, Jia Y P..Liu. X. J., & Liu, L_(2000).A conpaison s!u.!yof srrucrural
family rherapywith schizoptuenjc panenrs.Heabh psycholag, Joumal,
80). t05 106
suD.L.J. (l9 ). Itu ,pd$ &.tin8 tur'o, (in Chines€).Taip€i: Ju Liu Tushu.
Y&s, K., Tans,Y. xiu, s., & Zno, x. 099). A studyofseneral techdqu€sof
sy$enic family rh6py (in Chinese).Acadehic Joumt oJK&nins Medicat
Co ese,20(2),8-13.
Yane,K., Zno, X., Tang,Y, & xiu, s. 0 999).A siudyof applyinssystenic
fmily .heEpy io $e psychologicalproblen peopteunder I 8 yea6 old (in
C\irese, Yd NM M.dicine. 2013),162-164.
Ymg, M. (1995).Questioningrechniqu€sof siructuratfamily lberapist(in
()';ne*\. Chia5. Me^tal Hedtth Maea.ine, qq, ][3-185.
Zhao, X. D., & Xuan, X. (t999). Operarionalrechniquesof..resource
idot'rficatioD" in family tlehpy (D L\nn se)..tatmat oJChineseClinicdt
Psrchotosr, 7(2\, lr9-121 .
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