DEVELOP 14

Writing Task 1 – Describing and Comparing Data

Model Essay Analysis
• The line graph illustrates the average amount of money spent
annually on mobile phone services, and national and international
landline services in the US over a period of 9 years.
• Overall, it is clear that while the yearly spending on mobile phones
increased significantly, the opposite was true for national landline
phone expenditure. It is also notable that the figure for international
fixed-line services was the lowest of the three services over the period
shown.
• In 2001, the expenditure on national landline services began at $700
in 2001, while the figures for mobile phone and international fixed-line
services started at only below $300. Over the next 5 years, there was a
significant drop to approximately $500 in the amount of money spent
on national fixed-line phone services. Meanwhile, yearly spending on
cell phone services saw a considerable increase of about $300. In
contrast, the 5-year period only brought a slight fluctuation in the figure
for overseas landline services, at around $300.
• From the year 2006 onwards, it can be seen that US citizens spent
the most money on cell phone services. To be specific, yearly spending
on this means of communication soared to nearly $750 in the final
year, while the figure for national landline phone services fell to about
$400. During the same period, the expenditure on international fixed-
line services remained stable at roughly $300.
Key points
1. Task Achievement: The essay effectively addresses the key features of the graph by providing an overview of
the trends and making relevant comparisons between the three services. The essay maintains a high level of
accuracy in terms of data reporting and descriptions. The writer accurately presents the figures and accurately
describes the trends in spending for each service over the years.

2. Coherence and Cohesion: The essay is well-organized with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a
conclusion. The information is presented in a logical sequence, and the use of linking words and phrases, such
as "overall," "while," "meanwhile," and "in contrast," helps to establish coherence and cohesion.

3. Lexical Resources: The vocabulary used is varied and appropriate for the task. There is evidence of a wide
range of vocabulary, including specific terms related to the topic, such as "expenditure," "fixed-line services," and
"fluctuation." Additionally, the essay demonstrates effective use of synonyms and paraphrasing.

4. Grammatical range & accuracy: The essay showcases a good command of grammatical structures, with
accurate and varied use of tenses, including the past and present simple, past perfect, and present perfect. The
sentences are well-structured and there are no major grammatical errors that impede understanding.

The chart shows the proportion of male and
female students studying six art-related subjects
at the university of Cambridge in 2011.
• The number of male students studying Philosophy
at the University of Cambridge in 2001 stood at
around 50.
• Male students studying Philosophy at the
University of Cambridge in 2001 numbered
around 50.
• The number of male students studying Philosophy
at the University of Cambridge in 2001 totaled
around 50.
• In total, 50 male students studied Philosophy at
the University of Cambridge in 2001.
• The number of male students studying Philosophy
at the University of Cambridge in 2001 amounted
to around 50.
• The figure for male students studying Philosophy
at the University of Cambridge in 2001 amounted
to/totaled around 50.
Simple comparisons

The number/proportion of Figure A is slightly/far higher/lower than

the number/proportion of Figure B

The number/proportion of Figure A is not as

prominent/popular/prevalent as Figure B

Figure A is twice as much/two times more than Figure B

Figure A is the same as / similar to Figure B

Simple comparisons with verbs

More/fewer/less Figure A do than Figure B

A higher/bigger/lower/smaller + number/proportion/percentage of
Figure A do than Figure B

Figure A outnumbers/exceeds/dwarfs Figure B

Simple comparisons with verbs

Figure A is (Data difference) more/less/higher/lower than Figure B

Figure A is the lowest at (Data A), whereas/while Figure B is the highest at (Data B)

Figure A is (Data A), which is higher than Figure B at (Data B)

Figure A is (Data A), however/in contrast/on the other hand, Figure B is

higher/lower at (Data B)

Whereas/While/Although Figure A is (Data A), Figure B is (Data B)


The bar chart compares the sales of 5 different
chocolate bars in 2002. Let’s compare Mars and
Snickers.
• Snickers sold two times as many
chocolate bars as Mars.
• Snickers sold twice as many chocolate
bars as Mars.
• Snickers sold double the number of
chocolate bars in comparison to Mars.
• Snickers sold more chocolate bars by a
ratio of two to one.
• The number of chocolate bars Snickers
sold outnumbered the total number Mars
sold by a ratio of two to one.
 VOCAB SUMMARY FOR
01 INCREASE IN VALUE
increase
rise
WRITING TRENDS
grow
surge
soar
skyrocket
02 DECREASE IN VALUE
decrease
decline

03
leap fall
drop OTHER SITUATIONS
reduce Value remains the same: hover, remain
dip stable, stay constant, stay steady
plunge Value changes frequently: fluctuate,
plummet vary, swing
Value stops rising and remains the
same: plateau, level off, flatten out
Value reaches its highest point: peak
01 INCREASE IN VALUE
increase
rise
grow
surge
soar
skyrocket
leap
peak

Japan's working-age population increased Japan's working-age population saw/showed/experienced

from 65% to 70% between 1960 and 1990. an increase of 5% between 1960 and 1990.

Japan's working-age population increased There was a 5% increase in Japan's working-age

by 5% between 1960 and 1990. population between 1960 and 1990.
01 INCREASE IN VALUE
increase
rise
grow
surge
soar
skyrocket
leap
peak

After May, the figure for the 11 pm news peaked/leaped at 4.1 million in August.

From August onward, the trend reversed.

02 DECREASE IN VALUE
decrease
decline
fall
drop
reduce
dip
plunge
plummet

CO2 emissions per person in Norway decreased/fell/dropped/declined/were

reduced/dipped from just over 10 tonnes to around 7 tonnes between 1985 to 1995.

CO2 emissions per person in Norway decreased/fell/dropped/declined/were

reduced/dipped by 3 tonnes between 1985 to 1995.
02 DECREASE IN VALUE
decrease
decline
fall
drop
reduce
dip
plunge
plummet

CO2 emissions per person in Norway saw/showed/experienced a decrease/decline/drop/fall/reduction/dip

from just over 10 tonnes to around 7 tonnes between 1985 to 1995.

There was a decrease/decline/drop/fall/reduction/dip in CO2 emissions per person in Norway from just
over 10 tonnes to around 7 tonnes between 1985 to 1995.
02 DECREASE IN VALUE
decrease
decline
fall
drop
reduce
dip
plunge
plummet

In winter, the demand for electricity in England plummets/plunges/takes a plunge after 10 pm,
reaching/hitting a low point between the morning hours of 6 and 7 o'clock.
2.5 DEGREE OF MOVEMENT
Big changes:
sharp(ly), dramatic(ally), rapid(ly),
abrupt(ly), significant(ly),
precipitous(ly)

Small changes:
steady(ily), slight(ly), gradual(ly),
marginal(ly), gentle(y)

House prices rose dramatically in July.

The number of tourists visiting New York fell sharply in October.

There was a sharp increase in employee turnover after the strike.

There has been a precipitous drop in home sales recently.

03 OTHER SITUATIONS
Value remains the same:
hover, remain stable, stay
constant, stay steady
Value changes frequently:
fluctuate, vary, swing
Value stops rising and
remains the same:
plateau, level off, flatten out
Value reaches its highest
point: peak

The figure for the 1 pm News remained fairly stable, hovering at around 1.3 million throughout the year.

The figure for the 6 pm News showed some fluctuation/fluctuated widely throughout the year but the
general trend was downwards, and it ended the year at around 3.4 million.
03 OTHER SITUATIONS
Value remains the same:
hover, remain stable, stay
constant, stay steady
Value changes frequently:
fluctuate, vary, swing
Value stops rising and
remains the same:
plateau, level off, flatten out
Value reaches its highest
point: peak

The number of people who visited the British Museum varied throughout the summer, reaching its peak in
the middle of July and hitting a low in the middle of August.
03 OTHER SITUATIONS
Value remains the same:
hover, remain stable, stay
constant, stay steady
Value changes frequently:
fluctuate, vary, swing
Value stops rising and
remains the same:
plateau, level off, flatten out
Value reaches its highest
point: peak

The number of homeless people in London remained steady between 2010 and 2013.

This was followed by a marginal increase from 500 to 1000 before 2015. From 2015 onward, the figure for
the homeless population in London plateaued/leveled off/flattened out.
A PERCENT
A percent is a hundredth part of something. The word percent is
always preceded by a number. For example:
•The population figures for India rose by 12 percent over the two
decades.
•The figure for unemployment dropped to 5 percent in 2015.
PERCENTAGE
The word percentage means a part of a whole.
•The percentage of advertising online was 43% in 2012.
•The chart illustrates the percentage of male and female teachers
in six different types of educational settings in the UK in 2010.
You can use adjectives to describe the size of the percentage
(large/small)
OTHER WAYS TO DESCRIBE PERCENTAGE

• Digital media expenditure accounted for a large proportion of

advertising spending in 2008.
• Digital media expenditure accounted for a large segment of
advertising spending in 2008.
• Digital media expenditure accounted for a large fraction of
advertising spending in 2008.
COUNTABLE VS UNCOUNTABLE
• A large percentage of advertising spending was spent on digital
media.
• A small percentage of consumers prefer to take the bus.
‘advertising spending ’ is an uncountable noun, the singular verb
‘was’ was used.
‘consumers’ is a plural and countable noun, so ‘prefer ’ was used
WHAT VERBS TO USE

• account for
• make up
• constitute
• comprise

PORTFOLIO OF 2022
WHAT VERBS TO USE
• 6% of energy production in France in 2010 was hydro power.
• 24% of energy production in France in 2010 wa s nuclear power.

• Energy production in France comprised 6% hydro power and 24% nuclear

power in 2010
• In 2010, hydro power and nuclear power accounted for / m ade up /
constituted / comprised 6% and 24% of energy production in Fra nce,
respectively
WHAT VERBS TO USE
• 10% - one in ten • 12% - slightly more than one in ten
• 20% - a fifth • 15% - less than a fifth
• 25% - one quarter / a quarter • 23% - less than a third
• 33% - a third • 28% - slightly more than a quarter
• 40% - two fifths • 30% - just under/below a third
• 50% - half • 33% - just over/above a third
• 60% - three fifths • 51% - just over/above half
• 67% - two thirds
• 70% - seven out of ten
• 75% - three quarters
• 80% - four fifths
• Dropped by 50% - halved
EXAMPLES
1. 40% of people stated that comfort was a factor in driving to work.
= Two-fifths of the people polled stated that comfort was a factor in driving to work.

2. The proportion of people stating that they cycled to work to reduce pollution stood at 30%.
= The proportion of people stating that they cycled to work to reduce pollution stood at just under a third.
3. 11% of people said that driving to work was safer than cycling.
= Slightly more than one in ten people said that driving to work was safer than cycling.
4. 15% of people stated that they cycled to work because they did not have to worry about
parking.
= Less than a fifth of people stated that they cycled to work because they did not have to worry about parking.
5. Subway ridership dropped by 50% between 1999 and 2004.
= Subway ridership was halved between 1999 and 2004.
PRACTICE 1
1. According to the pie chart __________ of imports came from
India in 2012. (75%)
2. Oil accounted for __________ of electricity production. (80%)
3. Production of TVs __________ in the period between 2012 and
2014. (dropped by 50%)
4. Mobile calls showed a gradual rise of __________ from 2000 to
2001. (23%)
PRACTICE 2
The path chart illustrates __________ electricity generated by five
different forms of fuel in the United Kingdom in 2014 and 2018.

Overall, in both years, gas and nuclear remained important sources of

energy, __________ over half the UK's energy needs with little change.
In contrast, the use of renewables to regenerate power almost doubled
at the expense of coal which significantly declined.
In 2014 energy production in the UK __________ 30.1% gas and 22.5%
nuclear power. In 2018, energy produced by gas and nuclear fell
marginally to 51.7% due to a 0.9% decrease in the use of nuclear
power.

On the other hand, while there was an approximate __________

increase in the use of renewables over the two years, coal use
decreased significantly over the same period from 28.4% to around a
fitth (18.1%) in 2016. Oil used remained unchanged in both years
__________4%.
PRACTICE 3

The table below shows the number of

visitors to Ashdown museum during the
year before and the year after it was
refurbished.