Visual Anthropology

Breakup Observation
By

Tristan Kaban

1601203144

DK 44 INT

VISUAL COMMUNICATION DESIGN PROGRAM

FACULTY OF CREATIVE INDUSTRIES

TELKOM UNIVERSITY
 Introduction
Before starting this paper, I want to thank God above for allowing me to be able to finish this
observation safely and being able to complete the data that I need. I also want to give my thanks
to Mr.Wibi for giving me this task as I am able not only sharpen my analyzing skill, but to also
help a friend in their tough time and gives me more perspectives to study from on relationships. I
also want to give a special thanks to my friend whose name will be classified for confidentiality.
I want to thank him for asking me a favor me to stay by his side and to be able to hear his story.
That’s all and sorry in advance if there’s wording that may offend you. I hope from my
observation we can learn about relationships and hope it can may help you in the future.
 Preliminary
The reason I choose this topic to observe is because it’s not everyday that I be able to accompany
someone who had just broken up and it’s with his first girlfriend. I find it interesting for me to be
able to observe on how a person who just went on his first breakup will act from a third perso
perspective. With also the reasons of the breakup and how they started, it’s too good of an
opportunity for me to not take this chance to try make an analysis and to may also pick up some
lessons on what and what not to do from their breakup.
First & Second Day Fieldnotes
Third & Fourth Day Fieldnotes
Observation Photo
 Content Analysis
From what I have gain from the 4 days observation of my friend, I found some repeating and
peculiar habits that a person who just broke up would do and the phases that they went through
post-breakup. I’m going to divide this to 2 section as the first to second day and the third to four
day his reaction, action and perspective of the situation showed a contrast different.

First & Second Day

This is a few days after the breakup and he’s still dealing with the situation, trying to cope with
it. During this time he cried a lot. It’s even hard for him to say a full sentence without him
stumbling and croaking when he recalled her name and need to tell about their past memories.
He is also more depressed looking with always looking down into his knees. Some repeating
habits that I’ve seen are he keep on saying and asking the same thing for hours. Saying “I think
of her as my house to come home to man” and askig “Is it that wrong for me to be born like
this?”. He is aware of this action and he said it himself to me, saying sorry for him to forcing me
hearing him repeating his word. From what I’ve analyze after hearing this story and from past
experience, I believe he is still in denial and in a state of confusement on why this ended this
way. Other repeating habits also hearing the same music over and over again for hours. In this
case, he keep on playing the song Teddy Aditya – Langit Favoritku and Sal Priadi – Kita
Usahakan Rumah Itu. The most common thing to see from him is also he can’t stop crying. He is
also in a constant moodswing where there are always a couple of minutes where he is able to
compose himself to joke a bit, but then he went back into this state of sadness. Just sitting in
silent staring at nothing. He is also acting a bit impulsive with him trying to paint their inisial on
a public park tree and when he is not able to paint on it, he tried to find a knife or rock to carve it
instead. Repeating action also he can’t stop checking his phone to see her and to check if she
tried to hide him so that he can distance himself from her. He also go to places where there are
memories of him and her to try reminiscence their relationship. This is the first phase from what
I’ve observe that I will called “The State of Chaos”.

Third & Fourth Day

This is a few weeks after meeting him in the first phase. He had gone back to Jakarta for a couple
days so when he came back and he finished his midterm, he called me to come to his place. After
meeting him, I see that he had comeback to his old self, but there’s still this bit of restrain that he
had not let go that I can see. He is back to being talkative and listening to hip hop music, but
there’s times when he is a bit quiet. He then started to tell me on how his ex already met a new
guy. I was quite shocked but he seems to be able to take the situations calmly. We then manage
to find out who her new guy is and when we find it, that’s when he got angry as her new guy is
also like him, different from her ethnicity which is the main cause of their breakup as she said
that her family doesn’t approve her from dating guys from different ethnicity. But seeing this
new revelations, it proved that her excuse for their breakup is just a lie and that she just wants
another guy who is more “urakan”than my friend. Some repeating habits then started to began
with him keep repeating the word “dissapointed” and saying “he can’t even be angry at her
anymore, he’s just beyond dissapointed at this point”. His eyes also looks more sad than the first
and second day as it reflects his dissapointment in her for deceiving him. His voice is also
sounded very dissapointed with his voice sometimes being raise and sounding croak when
speaking her name. He also act more impulsive than usual where he ask me to take him to
Setiabudi to Toko Sahabat even though it’s raining outside. I’m okay with it but I’m concern that
his shirt may get dirty as my motorcycle doesn’t have any spakbor and it’s raining outside. He
said it’s okay and so we go fast on the street which is dangerous especially as it was raining and
the road we’re slippery. In the morning, he also ask me to come with him to burn his ex’s
bracelet that they use during their time together. He burn it and just stare at it for a couple
minutes until it extinguish. I named this phase “The State of Realizations”.

I think there’s a couple same thing that he had done with a bit of differences in both phases, with
the way he repeating words in both phases, with the difference being one as sadness and the
second one as dissapoinment. He also act impulsive in both phases with the first one being un-
energetic and the second one being a bit loose and crazy.
 Conclusion
From my observation and analysis, I can make the conclusions that when facing a breakup,
people will be in a state of denial and shocked with them also acting impulsives trying to get
their mind on or off of it.