Kapatiran (?

)
Disclaimer: Names of the individuals in this article were changed to protect their identity and
the name of the fraternity was not mentioned for confidentiality.

Brotherhood.
Sisterhood.
These are most likely associated when one joins a sorority or fraternity but sometimes…. It is
more than that.

We, as we learn to think and become curious, we undergo different changes – physical,
emotional, mental and social and sometimes, we tend to cling to people whom we believe can
help us cope up with these changes and more often than not, we also want to be with people we
are comfortable with and people who understand what we have inside and the easiest way to be
with them is to join fraternity or sorority.

In the past, when one hears the words “frat” it is always connected to hazing, brawl or even
defiance and nuisance.

But what is the real score?

The beginning
Pocholo (not his true name) met Randy during the opening of the classes in 2012. Pocholo was in
the second year while Randy was in the fourth year. The two get along so well because they both
love going out with their “barkadas” until one time the older invited Pocholo to join his frat.

“ I was surprised because Kuya Randy was a shy type, I never expected that with his outer look,
he is a member of a group which often associated with “rambol” (brawl)”, said Pocholo. But
despite this, he still joined because the bond was already strong and tight.

According to Pocholo, he felt something and his stomach was tightening when he was called to
the meeting of the “recruit”.

“ It is not easy to become a full pledge member, there are tests and it is not easy”, explained
Pocholo and when asked about his first task, he looked away without a word then he said, “One
of the leaders took out something and it as sharp and he told us that if we really want to become
full pledge, we have to need to trust them”.

He was blindfolded and let to stand in a corner and an official and Randy let him feel the sharp
tip of the knife. “ My heart was pounding so much, it is just like coming from my mouth”,
Pocholo recalled. Then the familiar voice of Randy whispered onto his ears, “Kayam dayta
ading” (You can do it ading). Then the official asked Pocholo to press his palm against the tip of
the knife and the more his heart pounds harder, more so when his Kuya Randy asked him to lift
his hand and as fast as he can, he must sway it like pressing a button.
“I almost quit but what made me do it is I really wanted to be a member so as hard and as fast I
could I swayed my hand ignoring the thought that I might get hurt but as I hit the tip of the knife,
Kuya Randy moved the knife away and I was so relieved”, he continued.

From that moment, I thought I was “in” because I already received their congratulatory but it
was a wrong thought, that was just only the tip of everything – the true initiation – the darkest
and the most painful are yet to come.

Saturday night
“I was excited that day because I thought that we will be having a party in celebration with our
passing, but it all changed when we arrived in a vacant lot, away from the residential homes,
what added to my surprise was, there were also girls”, Pocholo looked back.

They were separated from the girls and after a couple of minutes, he heard some screaming, to
his surprise and shock, he saw the girls’ palm being dripped with melted wax from a lit candle.
Some were silently crying, some were just biting their lips and some just looked away braving
the pain – the initiation was just starting, more to come.

It is his turn, he was first on the list and before he enters the darkest side of the lot, “ I was about
to run away but Kuya Randy held my arm and turned me over to one of the officials”. He was
again blindfolded and all of the sudden loud thud echoed silently and he felt something warm on
his legs. Another sound, then another one, another hit then according to him, blood just rushed to
his head and the heartbeat harder than before then a couple of minutes, he felt excruciating pain
and he fell on his knees – he was already crying. He stood shaking and the pain was piercing
every step he makes. He went home

Lesson
His parents were unaware of what happened and he (Pocholo) was always reminded when it
comes to joining frat most especially the way the recruits (neophytes) were treated.

The next morning he did not come out from his room. His mother was so worried so he forced
the door lock open and there Pocholo lying on his bed shaking and feverish, his mother removed
the blanket and she was the blackish and velvety bruises on his son’s legs – the shape of a
paddle. His mother cried and hurriedly took a wet towel and gently damped on his bruises. He
screamed in pain.

“Hannak makaanges idi, kunak nu matay nakun”, Pocholo recalled. ( I can’t breathe that time I
thought I was going to die).

His mother also reported the incident to the authority but the head before was influential and
belongs to a prominent family.

He stayed for a week at home and silently listening to her sobbing mother while listening to her,
he let go of the tears also. That was the first time that he cried in front of her, he felt the pain she
felt with what happened and all the regrets in the world hit him.
After the wound healed, Pocholo became a full pledge member of the fraternity and later became
an MI or Master Initiator where he did the same paddling to all the male recruits until he became
the chapter president.

On the lighter side

Despite the pain and the hardship, there is always something on the other side of the pain.
According to Pocholo, it was not always pain; they also had some good times with his “bagis”,
Ilocano term for brother or sister. What made him stay in the moment when all of them (frat
members) share their life stories; there he learned that some are not given attention at home,
being physically and verbally abused and orphans.

“ I love listening to their stories and I love giving them advice”, he proudly said.

Now, Pocholo is a father and no longer active in the fraternity where he used to be a member of.
He preferred to a father and a provider to his family.

On the other hand, in Gonzaga, there is already an existing fraternity who is shunning away and
breaking the traditional hazing and initiation, the IFSI – CIASI a conglomerate of the Samahang
Ilokano (SI). The group no longer uses the paddle but instead, they all commit themselves to
community service through outreach programs especially to far-flung barangays and besides,
they already have a screening committee as to who will become full pledge members of the
group. Also, what the group very proud of is having a scholar one the member is a student of
either college or secondary.

In the name of….

Joining any organization is one’s right and forming an organization is recognized by the
constitution as long as it will not post any threat to the country nor harm any of its members
otherwise, laws will be knocking at one’s door.

Despite the presence of RA 8049 or the Anti – Hazing Act of 1993, there are still fraternities and
sororities practicing hazing as a form of welcome or initiation to become a full pledged member
or as a form of punishment and worse, responsible individuals are getting away so easily.
Making everything ironic.

It has been years that lives were lost – young lives suffered from every hit of the paddle; fragile
bodies absorbed every bruise and breaks, breaths became a ticking clock of survival and many
dreams had been shattered.

Let us not shatter another dream

Let us not break another body
Let us not make families cry
Let us not waste another life
For the sake of “kapatiran”.