Kiara Ramon-Lozano

Dr. Sharity Nelson

ENGL 1302-231

16 April 2024

From Objective to Assertive: Contributing My Opinion in Academic Settings

Upon completing this final research genre, I discovered how scholars outline their

article’s introduction. Like researchers, my thesis statement is preceded by an introduction that

contextualizes my topic and covers subclaims I will address later on. However, Dr. Nelson also

introduced the rhetorical benefit of mentioning a research question and acknowledging what is

debated or unknown in literature (“Introduction” Class Lecture). After this lesson, I could finally

identify the various components of refereed articles’ introductions. Additionally, I learned how to

develop an effective thesis statement for a position paper. A thesis statement should include an

“assertion” and “reason” connected by a conjunction (Nelson, “Thesis” Class Lecture). The two

primary requirements of a thesis statement is that the claim and justification must have relatively

strong rebuttals from the opposing side, and these components must be “complete

sentences…with the same grammatical subject” (Nelson, “Thesis” Class Lecture). I can apply

this “thesis statement formula” when outlining argumentative papers in my Language,

Philosophy, and Culture course and upper level courses for my major. If I am struggling to create

a claim, I will brainstorm multiple “assertions” and “reasons” to start my paper.

Prior to this researched position paper, I thought that the best way to argue a claim was to

simply cite evidence; however, I slowly learned that explaining evidence is an essential

rhetorical choice that trumps letting the evidence ‘speak for itself.’ While my high school
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teachers emphasized the importance of forming a claim and selecting the most relevant evidence

as support, there were often gaps in my reasoning; this is evident, for I missed this rhetorical

opportunity in my first draft. For example, I simply wrote how scholars agreed on the “consistent

presence of smartphone overuse…among university students” without elaborating on the

relevance of this statement (Ramon-Lozano, First Draft). To target this weakness, I identified

gaps in my reasoning by trying to format my paragraph into the subclaim-evidence-explantation

structure of the “Researched Position Outline Worksheet” (Nelson). If I found that no portion of

my paragraph could be considered an ‘explanation,’ I added a few sentences of logical reasoning

to my paragraph (“Outline Worksheet,” Ramon-Lozano) . After recognizing that I failed to

explain how universities can build students’ social health, I added a sentence that describes how

“universities can facilitate…a sense of connection among students…through…school events

[such as]… a phone-free mixer” (Final Draft, Ramon-Lozano).

In terms of research, this position paper helped me build my understanding of how

scholars’ findings are correlated. For instance, I demonstrated how a model used by Squires, et

al. describes “Yang, et al.’s inverse relationship between social health” and phone dependence in

my final draft (1294; Ramon-Lozano). Furthermore, this genre helped me exercise my logic and

critical thinking skills. The skills that I applied to form an argument for this paper will aid my

research in the future for my upper-level biology lab courses. If I am asked to develop an

experimental design and write an experiment outline, I will need to use both language and logic

to make connections between existing literature and demonstrate the validity of my alternative

hypothesis.
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In my scheduled conference with Dr. Nelson, she recommended that I support my

subclaims using logic (Instructor comment). For instance, my first draft explained how high

psychological distress levels promoted phone dependence in college students without describing

the common stressors students experience (Ramon-Lozano, First Draft; Nelson, Instructor

comment). Thus, I described how the combination of academics and “family and work

responsibilities” is stress-inducing among college students (Final Draft, Ramon-Lozano). This

correction explicitly related the evidence to my topic sentence. Additionally, after discussing my

struggle to make my paper more argumentative, Dr. Nelson suggested that I format my thesis

statement as a proposal. Accepting this suggestion ensured that my paper had a clear thesis

statement. My first thesis statement stated that “college students should become more aware of

their smartphone use,” which was a weak claim relative to my thorough research (First Draft,

Ramon-Lozano). Following my conference with Dr. Nelson, my paper urged stakeholders to

provide support for college students by “promot[ing] healthier coping mechanisms than

smartphone overuse” (Ramon-Lozano, Final Draft). Therefore, my modified thesis statement

served as a catalyst for an arguable claim.

During peer review, Ciara stated that I “might be missing a citation” in my introduction’s

literature summary (Villarreal). To correct this error, I added in-text citations with the names of

the scholars that concluded that poor social and psychological health is correlated with

“increases in smartphone dependence” (Ramon-Lozano). By listing “Ercengiz, et al., Squires, et

al., Yang, et al.,” and “Mohamed, et al.” in an in-text citation, the scholars receive

acknowledgement for their completed research (Final Draft, Ramon-Lozano).

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Instead of simply summarizing or making connections between research findings, this

genre required that I express my stance on scholarly literature. As previously discussed, my first

draft lacked argumentative statements; instead of elaborating on how scholars’ studies logically

relate to the real world, I simply paraphrased scholars’ findings. I improved my evaluation of

evidence by consulting with Dr. Nelson and brainstorming evaluations of evidence during office

hours. Alternatively, the least challenging aspect of my paper was locating and paraphrasing the

results of current literature. I have spent a semester annotating and re-reading my sources, so I

had a strong research base for my argumentative paper. I could quickly locate concise summaries

of my refereed articles and color-coded highlighted sections that represent a particular sub-topic.
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Works Cited

Nelson, Sharity. “ENGL 1302 Researched Position Outline Worksheet.” 27 March 2024. ENGL

1302, Texas A&M International University, homework assignment.

Nelson, Sharity. “ENGL 1302 - RG3 - Researched Position Paper - First Draft” by Kiara

Ramon-Lozano. 3 April 2024. ENGL 1302, Texas A&M International University,

instructor comment.

Nelson, Sharity. Thesis Statement Formula Class Lecture. 20 March 2024. ENGL 1302-231,

Texas A&M International University.

Nelson, Sharity. Introduction Formula Class Lecture. 24 March 2024. ENGL 1302-231, Texas

A&M International University.

Ramon-Lozano, Kiara. “ENGL 1302 Researched Position Worksheet.” 27 March 2024. ENGL

1302, Texas A&M International University, homework assignment.

Ramon-Lozano, Kiara. “ENGL 1302 - RG2 - Literature Review - First Draft.” 3 April 2024.

ENGL 1302, Texas A&M International University, homework assignment.

Ramon-Lozano, Kiara. “Smartphone Dependence in College Students and Its Complex

Relationship with Wellness: Cultivating Healthier Coping Mechanisms.” Final Draft. 14

April 2024. ENGL 1302, Texas A&M International University.

Ramon-Lozano, Kiara. “Smartphone Dependence in College Students and Its Complex

Relationship with Wellness.” First Draft. 3 April 2024. ENGL 1302, Texas A&M

International University.

Squires, Lauren R., et al. “Psychological Distress, Emotion Dysregulation, and Coping

Behaviour: a Theoretical Perspective of Problematic Smartphone Use.” International

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Journal of Mental Health and Addiction, vol. 19, no. 4, 2021, pp. 1284-1299. Academic

Search Complete, https://doi.org/10.1007/s11469-020-00224-0.

Villarreal, Ciara. “ENGL 1302 - RG3 - Researched Position Paper - Modified Draft” by Kiara

Ramon-Lozano. 10 April 2024. ENGL 1302, Texas A&M International University, peer

comment.