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Fever-Dream Medellin
Fever-Dream Medellin
TITO
(muttering, monotone)
...scheiss...
INSTAGRAM PINGS.
MARGIT (OS)
Brauchst du noch einen Kaffee,
Liebster?...
TITO
...Genug.
A6 (PRELAP)
Bienvenidos a Medellín, la ciudad
de la eterna primavera! El clima
perfecto y el cielo perfecto para
todas sus aventuras. Bajando para
aterrizar momentos...
SMASH CUT TO
TITLES:
CABBIE
Bienvenido a Medellín, hermano!
De dónde eres?
TITO
Austria.
CABBIE
(in broken English)
Ah, Austria! Land of Hitler
and... como se dice... Arnold
Shwarznegga, no?
TITO (V.O.)
Looks like I've died and gone to
passport-bro heaven...
CABBIE (O.S.)
Be careful, amigo. Stay in El
Poblado and you be safe, but get
with a wrong people...
TITO
(suddenly queasy)
...what people would that be?
MARCOS
Tito, right? I'm Marcos, your
next-door neighbor slash
spiritual guide to the promised
land of pussy and pesos!
MARCOS (CONT'D)
Bro, this simply won't do. You're
in Medellín now, the ultimate
proof God exists and he wants us
to party.
MARCOS
(Terminator
impression)
"Come with me if you want to
live"
TITO
Ah yeah, Arnold...
MARCOS
You're Austrian right?
TITO
Yeah.
MARCOS
I've been to the most insane
swinger party in Vienna... or was
it in Prague? Same shit...
Anyways, prost!
MARCOS
¡Así me gusta, parcero! Ready for
a crash course in the Medellín
party scene?
TITO
(coughing)
I really shouldn't--
MARCOS
Shhh. Don't fight it. (slinging
an arm over Tito's shoulder)
MARCOS (CONT'D)
Think of me as the Virgil to your
Dante. Except instead of the
underworld it's the underground,
and instead of divine revelation
it's bumping reggaeton and big
booty bitches.
TITO (V.O.)
It's like Oktoberfest on crack...
Only instead of shitfaced
Italians there are k-holed
Americans.
2C-ed DANCERS hump the floor, teeth glinting with gold grills
TITO (V.O.)
Budapest seems like a baby's crib
comparing to this...
MARCOS
Welcome to La Isla, place where
only one word is illegal, and
it's a 'no'. Stick with me though
since you're new here.
TITO (V.O.)
Woah... And my mom thinks I came
here for salsa classes...
UNDERAGE MODEL
Take a picture, gringo. It'll
last longer.
MARCOS
Tito! There you are. I was just
telling these girls about our new
business venture...
8.
FLASHES OF:
the JAGUAR'S HEAD on the wall with it's dead eyes boring into
Tito's soul.
TITO (V.O.)
What the fuck have I gotten
myself into...?
MARCOS
Welcome to the jungle, bruvs.
It's all uphill from here.
FADE IN.
TITO (V.O.)
Christ on a cracker... what
crawled up my nose and died?
TITO
(to mirror)
Get it together, mate. Colombia
is the land of opportunity, not
the shit-show of poor life
choices.
MARCOS
Tito, my man! I want you to meet
Tony - the Cryptkeeper of the
Medellín start-up scene.
TONY
(cocking a ginger
eyebrow)
I prefer "Daddy Warbucks on
ayahuasca," but sure. (sizing up
Tito) So, you're the Schnitzel
King who's gonna put Austria on
the tech bro map, huh?
TITO (V.O.)
What? Did I spit out too many
words last night?
TITO
And you're the, uh...
"Cryptkeeper"?
TONY
Let's just say I specialize in
connecting visionaries like
yourself with the kind of capital
that doesn't exactly play by
Kickstarter's rules, if you catch
my drift.
10.
TITO
(nervously sipping
mimosa)
Not sure I do, Herr Warbucks.
TONY
Oh, man. I keep forgetting you
Euros are too gay for good ol'
fashioned American euphemising.
(off Tito's blank look). I move
money for people who need their
money moved, capiche? And right
now, those people are very
interested in getting a piece of
whatever digital strudel you're
baking.
MARCOS
(topping off Tito's
mimosa)
Speaking of strudel, Tony's
invited us to the soft open of
his new "pop-up restaurant"
tonight. Wink wink, nudge nudge.
TITO (V.O.)
Bro, I'm being nudged and winked
into an early grave...
TONY
Just a casual little get-together
for the gente bien of the
Antioquia elite. Ted Talk meets
TED-X-rated, if you will.
Less "soft open," more "hard launch of the damned." Tito and
Marcos wade through a sea of SILK-SHIRTED SICARIOS and
NIPPED-AND-TUCKED ARM CANDY.
TITO (V.O.)
it's like Cirque du Soleil for
sociopaths.
TONY
Welcome to the jungle, baby! Let
me introduce you to my
consigliere. We call him "El
Dentista".
TONY
"Denti" here is the Nostradamus
of the dark web. He can be your
"media buyer" so to speak.
EL DENTISTA
A pleasure, Señor Tito.
EL DENTISTA
(whispers)
Tony is my darling, don't you
ever break his heart.
EL DENTISTA (CONT'D)
And don't be so shy, flex your
teeth.
TONY
Ok buddy, I will go get some
boost.
TITO (V.O.)
Impressive... Is this what late-
stage capitalism looks like south
of the equator?
TITO (V.O.)
Maybe I should leave...
TONY (O.S.)
Outside is dark and boring
though.
TONY
See, in the world of high-stakes
hobnobbing, there's only one
dance that matters: the spastic
wiggle of the soul-sold startup
founder.
13.
TITO
What the hell?
TONY
So, whaddya say, Wolfy? Ready to
two-step with the devil and turn
that little app of yours into the
Next Big Ding?
TITO
I'm sorry, Tony, but I think I'll
sit this one out. Nothing
personal, I just prefer to keep
my code - and my nostrils -
uncompromised.
TONY
I don't think you understand,
strudel boy. When you do the
mimosa mambo with Tony Patronni,
you don't get to bow out after
the first verse.
TONY (CONT'D)
I've got investors to answer to.
Investors with very deep pockets
and even deeper mass graves.
Capiche?
TITO
(gasping for air)
C-c-capiche...
Tony releases him with a pat on the cheek, all smiles again.
14.
TONY
Glad we understand each other.
Now let's get you another mimosa
and take this tango to the tech
sheets, yeah?
CUT TO:
Tito sits across a glass slab desk from Tony, numb fingers
scrawling his signature on a blizzard of contracts.
TITO (V.O.)
God... the Cryptkeeper has a
brood. And here I thought gingers
couldn't breed after the age of
40...
TONY
Cute, aren't they? Amazing what a
few trips to Bogotá can buy a man
of my proclivities these days.
TONY
But enough about me. Let's talk
about you, Tito. And more
specifically, let's talk about
this little emoji-encrusted
albatross you've hung around both
our necks.
TONY
Welcome back, Sleeping Beauty. I
was just saying how I'm really
looking forward to watching you
crush it at the meeting tomorrow.
TITO
What do you...
TONY
The Underground Medellín Tech
Expo. You're gonna be pitching
your little app to every heavy
hitter this side of the Darien
Gap. And let's just say it's in
both our best interests that you
absolutely murder it out there.
SMASH TO:
TONY
(forced joviality)
Tito, my man. Hope you brought
your A-game.
One of the men, SGT. PEPPER (late 40s, all pepper-gray hair
and pepper-black eyes), leans forward. His guayabera shirt is
so white it hurts to look at. A thick gold ring on his pinky,
engraved with a Santa Muerte skull.
SGT. PEPPER
(to Tito)
So. This app. "SecureChat", sí?
What makes it so... secure?
TITO
(fumbling with his
laptop)
It's... uh, it's the encryption.
State-of-the-art. Untraceable.
Here, let me show you...
TITO (CONT'D)
Now, when I activate the app, the
location pin should disappear.
SGT. PEPPER
Is something supposed to happen?
TITO
(sotto voce)
I was sure I fixed it...
TITO (V.O.)
Can't be. I remember fixing it.
Was it a sleep-deprived
hallucination...?
SGT. PEPPER
Okay, gentlemen. I don't think we
have time to waste on a half-
assed product.
TONY
(jumping in)
My apologies for the
inconvenience. It will be ready
in one week, guaranteed.
SGT. PEPPER
(coldly)
See you in one week then. Don't
call us if it's not ready.
The van jerks to a stop. The door slides open. Tony and Tito
are unceremoniously bundled out.
TONY
Shame, Tito. Let's go to my
place, we need to talk.
18.
UNEXPECTED CABBIE
...TAXI? NEED A TAXI?!
TITO (V.O.)
Huhh, he met Johnny Depp, of
course...
Tony storms in, his face a thundercloud. He runs for the bar,
pours himself a glass of something amber and expensive-
looking.
TONY
(deceptively calm)
Tito, Tito, Tito. You really shit
the bed back there, my friend.
TITO
(confused)
Tony... A few days ago, nobody
knew about my app... I never told
anyone...
TONY
(exploding)
CUT OFF THAT GAY SHIT!
TONY (CONT'D)
Fuck... Here 100 bucks go out the
window.
19.
TONY
Do you have any idea how much I'm
riding on this app? How many
favors I had to call in just to
get you that meeting?
TONY (CONT'D)
And what do you do? You prance in
there with your little Fisher-
Price "My First Encrypted App"
and make me look like a fucking
ASSCLOWN in front of the most
dangerous men in Medellín!
TITO (V.O.)
Hopefully I'm in a bad dream and
I can't wake up...
TONY
(suddenly calm again)
But hey, water under the bridge,
right? We're all friends here.
TONY (CONT'D)
I've been thinking, Tito.
SecureChat is cute and all, but
what if we made it a little
more... efficient?
TITO
(nervously)
Efficient?
TONY
Yeah, you know. Instead of just
sending messages, what if it
could send... other things?
TONY (CONT'D)
Things like this.
20.
TITO
No way. I'm not turning my app
into some sort of... Uber Eats
for drugs!
TONY
"Uber Eats for drugs." I like
that.
TITO
Tony I won't do that.
TONY
Tito, buddy. I like you. You
remind me of a younger, scrawnier
version of myself.
TONY (CONT'D)
But the thing is, the people I'm
working with? The ones you just
embarrassed me in front of?
They're not as... cool-headed as
I am.
TONY (CONT'D)
You have one week, Tito. Make it
happen.
TITO
But it's tech... I can't develop
it that fast...
TONY
No you can't, not alone.
TONY (CONT'D)
Meet your new partner in crime.
TONY (CONT'D)
Sergii is a Ukrainian hacker.
NARRATOR (V.O.)
Sergii Koval. Self-taught
prodigy. A Hidden Menace.
QUICK CUTS:
PUTIN
KOVAAAAAAL!!!
PUTIN (CONT'D)
GET HIM TO MEEEEE!!!
Tony, smirking.
TONY (CONT'D)
Kremlin is hunting him down.
TITO
Why is he working for the cartel?
TONY
(shrugging)
Protection.
TONY (CONT'D)
Sergii is a secret asset.
TONY (CONT'D)
Cheer up, Tito! I want you and
Sergii to be each other brothers
now. You gotta connect well and
hustle like a pair of monks
during Kingdom Come.
TONY (CONT'D)
Don't fuck it up buddy! Sergii
should be at your place already,
your fridge is full of Austrian
traditional Red Bull and I even
hired a maid to cook and clean up
shit for you two.
Sergii shrugs, drops his bag on the couch. Kicks off his
shoes, leaving them where they fall.
The shower runs, steam fogging the mirror. From behind the
curtain, the muffled but unmistakable sound of -
blasting from a phone speaker.
TATIANA
(in Spanish)
Oh! You must be Sergii. I'm
Tatiana.
SERGII
(in accented Spanish)
Buenas.
The door opens. Tito stumbles in, eyes like two piss-holes in
a snowbank.
SERGII
(not looking up)
You must be Tito. I'm Sergii.
Let's get to work.
TITO
Uh, yeah. Nice to meet you, I
guess.
TITO (V.O.)
Christ, this guy codes like he's
got a gun to his head...
TITO
Nice code.
SERGII
Yes.
TITO
(to himself)
Why am I coding an app for a
Colombian cartel with a Ukrainian
war hero again?
25.
Sergii looks up, his blue eyes drilling into Tito's soul like
it's a Sunday morning 'back from church' walk.
SERGII
Not a hero. My work is
classified. You shouldn't talk
about me.
SERGII (CONT'D)
You have shitty WiFi here.
TITO
Why? It's 100mbps.
SERGII
Yes, shitty.
CUT TO:
BACK TO SCENE
TITO (V.O.)
Bahh... I put many nasty things
in my nose lately but that
fart...
SERGII
Got a needle up your butt or
what?
TITO
I need some air. And sparkling
water. And cigarettes. And maybe
a lobotomy, if they're on sale.
SERGII
Sit down and work, Tatiana (maid)
will bring everything.
TITO (V.O.)
I need some unstained air in my
lungs. Will be back in a moment.
SERGII
Fine. Go. And buy air-freshener,
we ran out.
TITO
Yeah... I will have to ask
Tatiana to slow down with those
beans.
Tito salutes him mockingly, stumbles out the door and into
the:
TITO'S GHOST
(in a high pitched voice)
Hallooo.
VOICE (O.S.)
Tito?
TITO
(warily)
Hmm?
RINGLEADER
We met at La Isla. You probably
don't remember me with all those
substances that knocked you out.
You're crazy motherfucker
(laughs).
He extends a hand.
RINGLEADER (CONT'D)
I'm Javier. Marcos's friend. He's
at La Isla now by the way. A
little birdie told me it's going
to be a night to remember.
TITO (V.O.)
La Isla. The Island. A place
where reality goes to die. Do I
dare? Do I plunge headfirst into
the maelstrom, let the current
take me where it will?
28.
TITO
Fuck it.
CUT TO:
MARCOS
Tito, you beautiful bastard! I
knew you couldn't resist the
siren song of La Isla.
TITO
What the hell is this?
MARCOS
A little concoction I like to
call "Green Fairy Genocide". One
sip and you'll be seeing God. Or
the devil. Either way, it's a
hell of a ride.
Tito shrugs, downs the drink. It burns like napalm, like the
kiss of a thousand angry suns.
29.
TITO (V.O.)
When in Rome, do as the Romans
do. Even if the Romans are a
bunch of coked-out lunatics with
a death wish.
TONY
(voice warping)
Tito, my man! Aren't you supposed
to be, you know, working?
TITO
(slurring, struggling
to focus)
Just... just taking a little
break... Tony.
TONY
Sure, sure. As long as that app
is ready on time.
TITO (V.O.)
And there's the devil. Guess
Marcos was right about this
drink.
TITO
It'll be ready. I swear on... my
mother's grave.
TONY
Your mother better start shopping
for caskets if it's not.
And then he's gone... Tito turns, scanning the room for a
MIRAGE GIRL, but she's vanished, a wisp of smoke on the wind.
TITO (V.O.)
And just like that, she was gone.
A beautiful mirage, shimmering on
the horizon of my fractured
psyche. (beat) Christ, I need
another drink.
He makes his way back to the bar, flags down the BARTENDER.
TITO
Give me something that'll make me
forget my own name.
BARTENDER
This'll do the trick. We call it
"El Olvido". One shot and your
past becomes a blank slate.
TITO
To oblivion, then.
He throws back the shot. The world goes black around the
edges, reality slipping away like sand through an hourglass.
DISTORTED TITO
(echoing)
Who are you, really? Beneath the
code, beneath the chemicals,
beneath the façade?
ANGULAR FIGURE
(voice like broken
glass)
What is the nature of your
reality, Tito? Is any of this
real? Or is it all just a dream,
a hallucination, a glitch in the
matrix of your mind?
Tito opens his mouth to answer, but no words come out. The
figure leans in close, its form shifting and changing like a
kaleidoscope.
STREET VENDOR
(in Spanish)
Rough night, amigo?
Tito just groans, fumbles in his pocket for his phone. The
screen is cracked, but it still works. A message from Sergii
blinks up at him: "Where the fuck are you? We have work to
do."
TITO (V.O.)
Please give me a break... (beat)
For a moment there, in the
madness, I felt alive. Alive and
on the edge of something profound
and terrifying. (beat) Or maybe
that was just the drugs talking.
FADE TO BLACK.
THUG #2
(barely a whisper)
Mierda...
The thugs turn tail and ride off, their dirt bike's
screeching echoes off the grimy walls.
SERGII
(eyes still closed)
You know, in Ukraine, we have a
saying...
SERGII (CONT'D)
(sitting up, eyes
like flint)
"Never trust a man with a smile
that shines brighter than his
soul."
SERGII (CONT'D)
(smiling coldly)
But you're not a man... You're a
legend. The boogeyman of
Medellín.
EL DENTISTA
(in accented English)
And you're the hacker who made
the Kremlin shit bricks?
SERGII
We all have our talents. Mine
just happen to involve computers
and a deep hatred for Russian
oligarchs.
EL DENTISTA
Fair enough. And your friend,
Tito? What's his talent?
SERGII
(blowing smoke rings)
Tito? He's a dreamer. A fool. But
I am responsible for him now. And
I am a very responsible man.
EL DENTISTA
(nodding towards the
cameras)
Just doing my job, amigo. Making
sure investments are protected.
SERGII
I'm protecting an investment too.
And I play for keeps.
EL DENTISTA
Noted.
35.
EL DENTISTA (CONT'D)
You know, in Colombia, we have a
saying too...
EL DENTISTA (CONT'D)
(with a grin)
"A friend is just an enemy who
hasn't fucked you over yet."
And with that, he's gone, melting into the night like a bad
dream.
SERGII
(to himself)
Tea? Tea.