Some time ago, I refused to believe in God..Im still not completely clear about H is existence..

But circumstances have so changed for me that I have begun to some what believe in a Higher Power..Oh no no..this is not a sermon..A few days back. .I think it was yesterday..forgive me friends, I do not remember the time, coz I write under the influence of alchohol..that is what brought me here in the firs t place. I allow myself this pleasure on wednesdyas.forgive the spellings too..). Well, it so happened that my land lady died and as is normal when someone close to you sies, (oh my god! did i write sies! its dies..forgive me again) things lik e existence, life and death make you wonder for a whileso I began thinking..and t o my surprse I realized that it is so essential to die..not because of the everg reen maxim that change is eternal, but because of the fact (closely related to i t) that it is natures or Gods way of restoring balance We are so proud of our damned existence that we forget we are mere illusions..pu ppets..however hard one tries to argue against this..to believe in Cogito ergo sum, one is bound to come to truth one day..and the truth is that we are simply illu sions..deceptions..!! Oh..Im not a saint..this hurts me badly too..but the sooner one comes to terms with this, the better.. Well, so death is a way of restoring balancewe view it as death, but in reality i ts just a few pieces of mould crumbling under the hands of a pottertry to look at the larger picture..its just thatearthquakes, famines, murders, accidents, deathsma ss murders..are nothing but a restoration of the balancethey are necessaryhowever hard it is to believe this. When you come to think of destruction and death in this way, you automatically c ease to be attached to the material things in your life. You come to realize the ir true worth..because they are nothing but a means to bind us to this material world, where we find change too difficult to accept. Sadly, riches, luxuries, comf orts are the only things that people aspire for these days.. It is very important to think above the five senses we have been bestowed with. We are so busy satisfying our needs..so ignorant of our reality, that it begins to seem gross after some time. And how proudly we claim to be the evolved specie s..! Its a shame! I read somewhere that the next step in the evolution of human beings is geared t owards spiritual evolution. I sincerely hope that it rings true..because in face of all these hapless circumstances we have invited upon ourselves, there seems no rescue! I hope my point of restoring balance has not been overlooked along the way Sincerely yours.s.varkhandkar