ALICE IN BLUNDERLAND EXT. SHADY STREET EARLY MORNING ALICE (strolling, humming to herself, falls into manhole) Aaaahhhh!!

! INT. MANHOLE - MORNING ALICE (excited) Wheeeeeeeeeee!! ___________________________________________________________ EXT. NIFT CAMPUS-CENTRAL COURTYARD MORNING ALICE (Popping out of the hole, looks around) Where am I? What is this strange looking place? SENIOR STUDENT (hurrying about) Hey you! Junioraah? Come model for me. The jury has already started. SENIOR STUDENT drags off ALICE into the building, ignoring her protests. ___________________________________________________________ INT. JURY ROOM-DAY ALICE walks in dressed in different clothes, looking bewildered. SENIOR stands by looking anxious.

JURY PANEL stares long and hard at ALICE.She starts fidgeting. JURY MEMBER #1 You cant even get a model who stands still! Look how she is fidgeting. (to ALICE) And you! Where is your submission? ALICE Submission? Wat is that?? I have no idea what JURY MEMBER #1 I dont want to hear any explanations! If I do not see progress, Ill not mark your attendance. ___________________________________________________________ EXT. CORRIDORS LATE MORNING ALICE runs around desperately, trying to get out of the maze of corridors. ALICE (voice over) Hey Alice hunny! ah! How pretty you look.. Dont look so worried.. Looks like you are stuck. Wish I could help.. but thats how it works around here.. You are either in or you are out.. n it looks like you are very much in my love. (evil gay giggle) ___________________________________________________________ INT. CANTEEN-DAY ALICE walks in, tempted by the exotic smells from the canteen. The bill counter is manned by the BLACK GUY, who is in conversation with a CHINESE GUY. CHINESE GUY

I want jing jing whua. You give jing jing whua? BLACK GUY Yo homie! Watcha saying, maan? We shut, dude! CHINESE GUY I want jing jing whua. You give jing jing whua? BLACK GUY Listen mofo, we aint got no jing jing, n we aint got no whua whua. We shut n dats dat. (points to board showing the timings) CHINESE GUY starts weeping and ___________________________________________________________ INT. CANTEEN TABLE- AFTERNOON MAD FARTER is sitting in a table with a SHOE next to him. Lunch things are spread out on the table. The canteen is filled with people and ALICE doesnt have place to sit. SHOE is fast asleep, snoring. EVERYONE (together to ALICE) Come in, come in you wont wish us huh? ALICE (politely) Good afternoon sirs and mams! MAD FARTER (to ALICE) Do you know my name? ALICE No MAD FARTER Find outand get the answer to this also since you havent bothered finding out my name since college startedWhy is a

theme board more like a mood board, a mood board less like an inspiration board and an inspiration board most like a concept board? ALICE Mood bored??ehh? ALICE nudges SHOE. ALICE (whispers) Sir help me out here SHOE (yawning) No class again SHOE sleeps off again. ALICE Ummmmummmmmmmmmm SHOE suddenly half awakens. SHOE (sleepily) Mad farterfartterr SHOE sleeps off again. ALICE (startled) Hey how dare you call me names?!! MAD FARTER (indignant) Hey that is my name!! Mind it!! ALICE What a stupid name! MAD FARTER You think so?? You will understand its significance only when you come to my department!All work and no play

SHOE Makes us full of gas and boils ALICE (to MAD FARTER, points to empty seat next to him) Who sits there? MAD FARTER starts crying. SHOE (half asleep, also starts crying) March Sare!! My favourite senior!! ALICE Eh? MAD FARTER (dramatically) March Sare was sitting right here on that chair that fateful morning....... ALICE (concerned) What happened??...am sorry...but what happened? SHOE takes a deep breath. ALICE waits expectantly. MAD FARTER That fateful morning.... he sat there and ate BREAKFAST!!... ALICE waits for rest of story, but MAD FARTER and SHOE stare at her, waiting for a reaction. ALICE (cautiously) So? MAD FARTER (outraged) So??!! He was eating breakfast during breakfast time!! That is how it is around here! no breakfast lunch or dinner during brekfast lunch or dinner...any other time is fine... ALICE is very puzzled by MAD FARTERs talk.

MAD FARTER Ok enough...how dare you ask questions to us seniors?? Now since u havent done nothing I have asked you to do...SING FOR ME!!... (song to be added here) ALICE sings a botched version of "All My Loving" before she realizes half way and stops. ALICE (ashamed) I am so sorry!! MAD FARTER Why did you stop?? That was brilliant! It was the best creative intro I have ever heard. And thats how things should be around here. See you are perfect person for this college! ALICE Eww...I do not want to be a part of this place.. YUCK!! This place does weird things to people. ALICE runs off. ___________________________________________________________ INT. CANTEEN KITCHEN LATE AFTERNOON ALICE runs into the canteen kitchen only to be stopped by clouds of pepper floating around. DUCHESS OF ALL CANTEENS is sitting there with a KID in her arms and shouting orders to everyone. A cat, CC, is sitting on the counter. DUCHESS OF ALL CANTEENS (to everyone) More water in the milk! Less pepper in the rasam! GOD! How do I always end up finding such generous people?? May be I should try that pothys place hmm More water in the milk! Less pepper in the rasam! More water in the milk! Less pepper in the rasam!

More water Less Pepper More Water Less Pepper More. EVERYONE Less water, more pepper, less water They add more pepper and everyone starts sneezing. COOK #1 Hey look at the kid! It is becoming a pig!! The KID turns into a pig and flies up to the roof. EVERYONE The swine flew!! The CC quickly pulls out a mask and puts it on. PIG (angry) Hey! (song) EVERYONE starts chorusing along with the PIG. CC starts disappearing and the mask, hanging in the air comes near ALICE. ALICE walks away, not able to bear the sneezing any longer. The mask follows her.As she walks into clean air , the CC starts forming again. ALICE Excuse me, can you tell me the way to go? CC That will depend on where you want to go. ALICE Well, it actually does not matter where I go. CC (mimicking her)

Then it actually does not matter which way you go. But since YOU ARE IN MY DEPT., I THINK, WHICH IS BETTER THAN ALL THE OTHER DEPTS, I will take you to the MATERPILLAR, the SENIOR of the family. Family is very important , you know. My kid The CC goes on and on but ALICE tunes her out, her head starting to ache with the days activities. ALICE (interrupting) Can we please go meet this boss of yours? Maybe he can help me. ___________________________________________________________ INT. STAFF ROOM - EARLY EVENING CC leads ALICE into the staff room. The MATERPILLAR is siting at the end of the room, behind a huge desk. CC jumps onto the desk, kisses the MATERPILLARS hand in deference and jumps on to his shoulder. CC (to MATERPILLAR) She has something to ask you. MATERPILLAR (to ALICE) We have known each other for so long now...but this is the first time you've come to me for counsel or for help. I can't remember the last time you invited me to your locker, in which you spend so much of your time, even though CC here is godmother to your family. But let's be frank here. You never wanted my guidance. And you feared to be in my debt. ALICE But I have known you not for more than, say, 2min?? MATERPILLAR

Now, now, we are both civilized people. I understand you found paradise in your locker and in your SGPA. Of course you would not know me if you spend your day in the locker and ran away at 5:30. Whatever other work you might have might be urgent, but this is important. You didn't need a friend like me. Now you come and say "Don Materpillar, I have a doubt." But you don't ask with respect. You don't offer friendship. You don't even think to call me "Godfather." You come into my room on the day submission and have babies. ALICE What??!! MATERPILLAR Consistent lack of structuring and planning on your part will not result in a constant state of panic on my part. ALICE Are you implying all of this is my fault?? MATERPILLAR My my...ummWhat is your name again?? CC Oh yeah what is your name anyway?? MATERPILLAR You dont know her?? CC No!

MATERPILLAR Does not matter now... do not dwell on what is not important. (to ALICE) What have I ever done to make you treat me so disrespectfully? If you'd come to me in time, this submission would not have set your ass on fire. You could have taken control and I would have helped you take it to its logical end. This could have been shown to your juniors. It is this selfish attitude that draws you back from the family. You wont get success right at the beginning. This life you have in the family is because of years and years of letter writing it is a classic case of A student syndrome and that is something you have be careful about. Why do you need me to mother u? You should aim before you shoot...but you people shoot and then try to aim. You set your backsides on fire and then come to me when it is too late... ALICE is getting a sense of unreality and dazedly she walks out of the room into the first room she comes across.

INT. ROOM # 43 EARLY EVENING ALICE walks into a room filled with odd-looking creatures and looks around curiously. As she starts exploring the room, the lights start becoming psychedelic. Almost blinded by the lights, Alice squints to see the creatures and is horrified to see them move. They approach her in menacing steps and the room starts spinning. Alice wordlessly screams and runs out of the room.