HISTORICAL PERIOD NEW KINGDOM EGYPT TO THE DEATH OF THUTMOSE IV

ESSAY WRITING
USE THE FOLLOWING STEPS TO HELP WITH THE PREPARATION OF YOUR UPCOMING ASSESSMENT

Planning your essay

Question: Assess the significance of the expulsion of the Hyksos.

This question is asking you to consider the Hyksos wars. What makes this event so important? What were the immediate and long term effects? In contesting Hyksos dominance the pharaohs Sequenenre Tao II and his sons Kamose and Ahmose introduced new fighting techniques borrowed by the Hyksos to successfully expel the enemy and reunite Upper and Lower Egypt. Egyptians realized that they were far too proud to be led by a group of foreigners and that they could no longer live in splendid isolation; they wanted not only to return Egypt to its previous glory but also to establish and consolidate an empire. 1. Underline the key words. 2. Define the key words. What is the question asking? 3. Use the three bound booklets to get you started; also any additional handouts given to you in class. Well accredited sources include Callendar, Waterson, Clayton, Breasted, C.A.H. etc. Also use Hurley, Bradley and Hennessey. 4. Select, gather and organize important information related to the topic. 5. Have a look at the scaffold which follows. Choose the issues and draw up a plan for your essay following the same structure. What are the issues? Think about the expulsion of the Hyksos. Is this an important event? If so, to what extent? What makes it important? You need to consider the immediate and long term effects. 6. Write an introduction. 7. Teacher views essay plan and proofreads introduction. 8. Begin writing the main body of your essay. Do not forget to include the views of modern (mentioned above) and ancient

historians (e.g. Manetho, Ahmose the son of Ibana) and relevant written archaeological evidence (e.g. the Kamose and Amose Stela, and Speos Artemidos) to support your argument. You may use direct or indirect quotes. This is the place for factual information such as names, dates and statistics. Select several examples to support your argument and to give your essay substance. REMEMBER! REINFORCE YOUR ARGUMENT, RELATE ALL YOUR FINDINGS BACK TO THE QUESTION. BE PRECISE. DO NOT SPEND MUCH TIME ON BACKGROUND INFORMATION. 9. Write the conclusion. 10. Edit your work. Make sure your expression is clear and that you use connectives such as first, second, last, therefore, hence, furthermore, additionally, however, to some extent, etc. REMEMBER! YOU NEED TO ASSESS!

ESSAY FORMAT

ISSUES AND EVIDENCE TO SUPPORT CASE

The New Kingdom Period (1550-1070 BC) or what is otherwise known as the Golden Age of Egyptian history, was largely possible due to the expulsion of the Hyksos. The Hyksos were a group of Asiatic foreigners that infiltrated the Delta around 1760 BC and had occupied Lower Egypt for more than a century. Despite the lack of evidence to support ancient claims of Hyksos ruthlessness and oppression, the experience was deeply humiliating. In contesting Hyksos dominance the pharaohs Sequenenre Tao II and his sons Kamose and Ahmose, introduced new fighting techniques borrowed by the Hyksos to successfully expel the enemy and reunite Upper and Lower Egypt under a strong centralized government. The Hyksos occupation also created in Egyptians this strong, new feeling of nationalism and realized that they were far too proud to be led by a group of foreigners. This led to greater security consciousness and stronger defence. Furthermore, Egyptians realized that they could no longer live in splendid isolation (DEMOVIC); they became aware of their northerly neighbours and renewed trade relations. Moreover, Egyptians wanted not only to return Egypt to its previous glory and ensure that foreign occupation never reoccurred but also to establish and consolidate an empire.

INTRODUCTION Orientation

Who, what, when, where? 2 sentences

Issues

3 or 4 issues you choose to build your case. Outline them.

Case

What will this essay show? Here you reinforce your case. 1-2 sentences (1 paragraph in total)

Note: the focus of this question is the significance of the expulsion of the Hyksos, NOT the Hyksos occupation. Thus you must focus on the impact on Egyptian government and implications this had for future developments. The impact on Egyptian society i.e. benefits or positive long-term contributions would be more relevant to the second question and they can be discussed under technological and economic. Also refer to impact on religious beliefs

MAIN BODY
Make comparisons between traditional and new weapons

Issue 1 adoption of Hyksos weapons and steps towards the establishment of a professional army:
Prior to the 18th dynasty, Egyptian military technology was relatively simple consisting of: - stone maces flint weapons copper weapons e.g. battleaxes, daggers, spears wooden self-bow and arrows wooden shields covered in cowhide no armour. In order to expel the enemy and protect their borders after the invasion of the Hyksos, the Egyptians adopted the superior weapons of their enemies: - Two-wheeled horse-drawn chariot - the composite bow - bronze weapons such as swords and daggers

Repeat the above steps to plan the second essay. The two questions overlap, however the second question focuses on a different aspect of the course. Use the following table to plan essay 2. Question: Assess the impact of the Hyksos on the establishment and consolidation of the New Kingdom. (hint: look at the political, economic and technological effects). ESSAY FORMAT ISSUES AND EVIDENCE TO SUPPORT CASE

INTRODUCTION Orientation

Who, what, when, where? 2 sentences

Issues

3 or 4 issues you choose to build your case. Outline them.

Case

What will this essay show? Here you reinforce your case. 1-2 sentences (1 paragraph in total)

MAIN BODY
This is the place for: Names Dates Statistics Examples Quotes: direct / indirect

Issue 1

References to archaeological modern sources (i.e. primary secondary)

and and

Assess

Issue 2

Assess

Issue 3

Assess

Issue 4?

CONCLUSION Summary

Here you sum up your findings

Deduction

A final weighing-up of your line of argument (1 paragraph in total)

Notes:

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Not relevant to the current HSC course studied here at Burwood Girls High, however the following is another example of how you can approach a discussion type of essay in senior high school.

Year 12 Assessment 1
December, 2004

Planning your essay

It was by a common effort that the foreign (Persian) invasion was repelled. (Thucydides) To what extent should the defeat of the Persians in 480 BC be attributed to a common effort by the Greek states? This question is asking you to consider the reasons for the Greek victory over the Persians in 480 BC. Do you agree with the statement? Do historians agree that the Greeks were united? If not, which historian doesnt and what examples show Greek disunity? (You can challenge the statement) ON THE OTHER HAND, is unity of the Greek states the only reason for the Greek victory? If not, what are the other reasons? Did they contribute to this result more so than unity? (To what extent requires you to discuss the reasons and their importance. Eg. To some extent, to a great extent etc.)

Steps:
1. Underlined are the key words.

2. Define the key words. 3. Use Bradley, Hurley, Green, Cameron, Fine and other historians (handouts given in class) to get started however you may carry out some additional research. You may use quotes direct or indirect, taken from Plutarch, Herodotus, Thucydides and /or others. 4. Have a look at the scaffold you were given. Choose the issues and draw up a plan for your essay following the same structure.

5. Select, gather and organise important information under the different reasons for Greek victory / issues. 6. Write an introduction. 7. Teacher views essay plan and proofreads introduction. 8. Begin writing the main body of your essay. Do not forget to include citations. Also it should include most of the factual information such as names, dates, statistics, examples, quotes (both primary and secondary, direct and / or indirect). Remember to reinforce your argument and relate all your findings back to the question. 9. Write the conclusion. 10. Edit your work. Make sure your expression is clear and that you use connectives such as first, second, last, therefore, hence, furthermore, additionally, however, etc.

Essay Plan
It was by a common effort that the foreign (Persian) invasion was repelled. (Thucydides) To what extent should the defeat of the Persians in 480 BC be attributed to a common effort by the Greek states?

Introduction
During the Persian Invasions of Greece between 490-479 BC, the Greeks were faced with vastly greater numbers of troops and ships. Nevertheless they won key battles and expelled the enemy. Historians such as Hurley, agree that this small group of states retained a tradition of quarrels, suspicion and jealousy against one another. Despite that, not only they managed to stave off defeat when attacked, but won against all odds (Hurley). The Greek states showed exceptional cooperation and thus one can agree with Thucydides that unity played a significant part in this remarkable victory. However, it can be argued that there are other factors, which largely contributed to this result. These include: the location on which the battles were fought, the leadership of outstanding commanders such as Miltiades, Themistocles, Leonidas and Pausanias, the superiority of the Greek army and navy and last, the morale of the Greeks who were fighting in defence of their homeland and who idealized the hero in battle. This essay will provide evidence in support of Thucydides view however will also argue that Greek unity cannot alone be attributed to the defeat of the foreign invaders.

Main Body Here you need to expand on each of the five issues outlined above: 1. Greek unity 2. Battle location 3. Leadership of Greek commanders 4. Superiority of Greek army and navy 5. Greek morale In the main body you will need to provide evidence to support your views. Apart from the views of Historians on this part of the course, you need to provide examples, statistics and other factual information in support all the

above issues. You need to convince the reader that your views are justifiable. Now fill ill the table in order to organize your knowledge and ideas.

ISSUE 1.

EVIDENCE TO SUPPORT ISSUE

2.

3.

4.

5.