8. Accidenti!

(ah-chee-DEN-tee)
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Lets start with something G-rated, shall we? This is the less-questionable version of merda (see #6) - when you want to say a euphemism like crap instead of swearing and saying shit, youd say accidenti. It looks so much more innocent, doesnt it? Almost like, Oh, what a horrible accident that I almost said a bad word or something. Anyway, this is the one to internalize so that you dont let loose with any of the really bad ones in front of passing nuns. 7. Madonna! (mah-DOHN-nah) While many Italian stereotypes turn out to be less true on the ground in Italy than you might have expected them to be, the one about Italians using mamma mia! as an exclamation of surprise or annoyance holds water - they actually do use it. But personally, I prefer the equally common Madonna! if for no other reason than it amuses me in this predominantly Catholic country. You can even pair this one with porca (see #1) for more emphatic (and less polite) uses. 6. Merda! (MEHR-dah) Now, because Id often get the How do you say shit in Italian? question from students, Ive learned this one - but Ive honestly not heard it as much in Italy as I have some of the other swear words on this page. This is, however, how you say shit in Italian, and its used in exactly the same way we use it in English. It also is incorporated into other phrases for more colorful meanings as well. 5. Cazzo! (KAHTZ-soh)
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This is the other question Id get from the occasional (bolder) students - How do you say fuck in Italian? This is the answer - cazzo - although it literally is a colorful term for penis (see below), and this one you do hear. 4. Testa di cazzo! (TES-tah dee KAHTZ-soh) Sometimes translating things literally is what makes these swear words amusing to me but sometimes it works out quite well, and thats the case with this little gem. Instead of calling someone a dickhead, in Italian youd call them a head of dick, or a testa di cazzo. Which, really, is the same thing, right? This is also a general way of calling someone an asshole, but the Italian testa di cazzo has a bit more spice and so isnt language youll want to use in polite company. Cazzo has lots of uses in Italian, like culo (see #3). 3. Vaffanculo! (vah-fahn-KOO-loh)
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This is a red-hot number, so use it with caution. Its the Italian equivalent of fuck off or go fuck yourself, but literally means something vaguely like go do it in the ass. Culo on its own (meaning ass, but in a much more vulgar way than the English can really translate) has many, many uses in Italian, but this is the one non-Italians can latch onto quickly - which is both entertaining and a bit dangerous! The accompanying gesture for vaffanculo is the same as it is in English - a middle finger.

2. Cavolo! (KAH-voh-loh) Heres an example of an exclamation that is really only funny to me because I translate it literally in my head when I hear it. Cavolo literally means cabbage, but when you say it emphatically its kind of like the equivalent of holy crap! or a more forceful version of wow! Even better, in my humble opinion, is what happens when you put the innocuous-looking che in front of it - che cavolo? offered as a question is kind of like saying, what the fuck? but youre really saying, what cabbage? Ah, I love that. 1. Porca vacca! (POR-kah VAH-kah) This is my favorite one, hands down. In English, Ive got lots of ways to say, well, dammit! in varying degrees of colorful language. In Italian, its no different. Porca vacca literally means pig cow, but its used in much the same way wed say, crap! or damn! or the like - its not the most polite way to say it, but its also not the worst. What I particularly love about it is the literal translation (it cracks me up to think people are saying, pig cow!), and whats fun about this is that you can put porca in front of just about anything. Porca vacca is my favorite for its literal silliness, but porca miseria (miserable pig or pig poverty) is a very close second-favorite for my perceived sense of the melodrama that goes with it. Youll hear variations on these at Italian sporting events when the home team does something stupid.