HOW DO YOU APPROACH THE PROBLEM?

ets face it, for most of us confrontation is a dif cult thing to do. We really dont want to see the bad in people. For some of us, having an addicted family member feels shameful. We often blame ourselves for the addiction. We need to remember that we neither caused the addiction, nor can we cure it. Recovery from addiction can only be obtained by the willingness of the addict to change. As family members we are often enabling the addict out of what we feel to be love and compassion. Though this seems natural it is the last thing we should be doing, because without feeling the pain of the addiction, and recognizing the problem, no change will occur.

So how do we approach the problem? We approach the conversation with love. The following is a sample conversation.
Mary, I am very concerned about your drinking. Mom, I dont have a problem. I only drink on the weekends. Yes, but you were arrested for a DUI last Thursday. Oh, that cop was looking to get me. I am very concerned about you. (List the incidents of concern) So what do you want me to do? It is my life! Get off my case Tell you what, if you see a professional for an evaluation and agree to do what he/she says, I will stop bothering you. It is far better to get everything out in the open. Even if the person does not agree and an intervention becomes necessary, at least the topic has been talked about with the addict and they will begin thinking about it.

PRE-PLANNING A SUCCESSFUL INTERVENTION

A good intervention takes a signi cant amount of planning. First, you must decide who will participate in the intervention. Your will not want to have those individuals who will be unwilling or might wafe during the session and not hold rm. Include all those who have in uence on addict and who can and are willing to help impose consequences. This may include but does not have to be limited to family members, friends, employers, clergy etc.

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Then you must decide who will be the coordinator of the intervention. Professional interventionists are available, but it is not necessary to hire one. Whomever the coordinator is, they will need to decide the time and place of the pre-intervention meetings. The pre-planning session may be divided into two or three meetings. Take the time to plan. Be prepared for every possible situation. Make sure that no one allows the addict to gure out what is planned. Participants should prepare a letter addressing the addict. It will address real life memories or things the addict has done. It will also state what will happen if they do not go into treatment. The letters should be read aloud in order to allow for suggestions and to make the participant comfortable with what they have written. Especially in the area of consequences, everyone must be sure that they are willing and committed to carry these out. All participants should list the obstacles that the addict may present during the intervention. Solutions to these problems should also be presented and put in place. Ex: a friend watches the addicts dog. Date, time and place of intervention will need to be decided on. If the intervention is to be in a hotel or conference room, it must be reserved. If at someones house, make sure that it is appropriate. The room needs to be private, quiet and dif cult for the addict to leave. Doing an intervention in the addicts home is not usually desirable because they are too comfortable there. Seating should be arranged prior to the intervention. Be sure to consider where the addict will sit in the room. They should be placed in a seat which will make it most dif cult for them to leave. Next to the addict should be loved ones who can help keep them calm. Others should be seated around the room in the order that they will speak. It is best to act out the intervention several times so that everyone participating feels comfortable with what is to take place. A plan should be developed on how to get the addict to the intervention. People who have the greatest in uence on the addict should be chosen to sit or stand by the exit to prevent the addict from leaving. Two or more people should be chosen to go after the addict if they leave and try to bring them back. A treatment program should be reserved for admission immediately after the intervention. It will be the responsibility of someone participating in the intervention, to have made these arrangements. This individual will either choose a treatment program or recommend one to those making the decision.
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This person should gather both internet and printed information on the selected program to be shown to the addict during the intervention. Insurance information should be given to the intervention coordinator, so they can determine actual cost of the program. A person should be appointed to have the persons essentials packed and ready to go when the addict agrees. It is very important to have all medications and essentials included in the packing. Most treatment programs will provide the family with a list of needs and information on how they can support the process. A plan should be made for how the addict will be transported to treatment. Usually it is best to have someone accompany the addict to treatment. If a professional interventionist is to be used, then he or she would be the person.

Keep in mind, it is far better to have the addict angry for a few days or weeks, than to do nothing and suffer a lifetime of wishing you had done something.

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