My Why Did I Wake Up?!?

Dream About Naya Rivera

Now, while reading this, take it lightly. This was a very vivid dream I had last night and I think we all have those amazing nights where we think; why did I have to wake up from that?!. I remember everything that is written, though I add what I like to call color to it. I also forgot some of the smaller parts. I am able to sort of talk to myself with my conscious mind in my dreams. You know, as in hey stupid, don't be afraid of that monster because you're dreaming right now and can wake up any time. Also... isn't it weird that guys have sex dreams and girls have love dreams? With all of that in mind, read on, dear reader. Enter; a supermarket. Seriously, enter a supermarket in your mind where all of the employees are wearing red vests and khakis and hating their minimum wage jobs. Think of Waiting at Wal-Mart. I enter the supermarket as a new employee. Not exactly thrilled, but hey, it's a job. Upon entering my training I realize that Jane Lynch is my boss. No big deal. She's the kind of boss that lets me grab a joint break when everyone else is out slowly dying with their cigarettes. Anyways... I don't even really know what my job was, because I never actually did it in my dream. Hey.. it really was my dream come true! I think it was stocking bags... but, again, I never actually did anything but stand next to them. Remember, this is a dream so it skips around a bit. We are now about 2 weeks later and I have gotten to know some of my fellow employees who include Lizzy Caplan, Tig from The Sarah Silverman Program and (*GASP*) Naya Rivera. By the way, every morning Tig asks me if she looks ok hoping that it will end with me hitting on her... then states something like Don't worry man, I'm too old for a groovy chick like you and sauntering away. Everyone I work with now knows that I'm a big flaming lesbian... as are many of the co-workers, I guess. I know, this is a super-hero magnitude gay dream. Even in my dream state I was well aware that I was absolutely infatuated with Naya. We had the same job (I never saw her do it, either), but I was so nervous most of the time that you would think I suffered from Selective Mutism around her. Naya; So how are you liking it here so far? (with a big, beautiful smile) Me (close your mouth, idiot);Great! with a squeak and the volume of an air horn. I instantly dismissed her as being out of my league and moved on, with sadness of course. A few days later, I decided to grab a snack from the store after I got off of work. This was probably due to one of Jane's allowed joint breaks. I headed to the register and went to check out with my favorite buddy at the store, Michael Cera. Oh yeah, forgot to mention that he worked there, too. I could never see him without screaming Hey Ellen! from far away and then laughing at his ridiculous hair. So, I approached Michael's aisle and he informed me that he'd be closing so I needed to go one over. I peeked around to see who was working and it was a girl that I had not met yet. Though I was disappointed, upon seeing her face I had to do everything I could from running directly at her. She was younger than I was, though I couldn't tell how young. I hoped for a minimum of 18, but then silently assumed that she was straight anyways. She was shorter than I was with long brown hair and facial features similar to Demi Lovato.

Her (while blushing); I was kind of hoping that you'd pick my aisle. (with a shy smirk) Me (laughing a bit too awkwardly); What? Why? Her; Well, I don't know... I guess I'd kind of like to get to know more about you. (she blushes again) We then cut to 3 or 4 days later and she is my girlfriend. Don't ask me how or why it happened, but it did with the speed of a thousand road runners. I noticed that Naya wasn't speaking with me as much, but I figured that was mostly due to my special behavior around her. Before I started work, I ran up to my girlfriend's register (I'll call her Teen Dream) and kissed her before heading to my standing duties in the bag area. Something dawned on me at this point... Me (knowing that I am 26); Wait... how old are you? (my heart stopped) Teen Dream; Oh, I'm 18! Relief washed over me like a sudsy shower and I skipped over to my bag area. When I got there, Naya had sort of a scary look on her face. You know in Glee when she is about to tear someone a new asshole? That face. Uh oh I thought, I must've fucked up my job somehow... Naya; Amanda... can you come with me for a second? Me (thinking, I'm terrified but I'll come with you anywhere); Sure. Where are we going? Naya stayed silent as we walked into a back area with a bunch of boxes and zero human presence. At this point, I was worried that this was about to be the scene of a homicide. She slid down against the wall and sat on the floor, tapping it next to her for me to join. Naya; So... you have a new girlfriend? Me (taken back); Yeah. Oh my god. Are you grossed out by the whole lesbian thing? Naya; No, no, no. Amanda, listen to me; you don't have a girlfriend anymore, capiche? (I bold capiche because she was very adamant about this word.) I was so incredibly confused and, still being my awkward self around her, could only reply with a very quiet; Me; Why? Naya; Just... damn it. You just don't have a girlfriend anymore, ok? Me (gaining a bit more courage); But... is she breaking up with me? Did she tell you to break up with me for her? Naya; Ugh. No, she didn't tell me to break up with you... you are going to break up with her. You can't have a girlfriend. I have a plan. Just; (she put her hand up as if to say there will be no more discussion) no more girlfriend. With that, she stood up and left me sitting against the wall. Naya Rivera just told me to dump my young, hot girlfriend. However, even in my dream I knew that it would be stupid to ignore her. That still didn't mean I had the heart (or balls) to break up with the Teen Dream at the registers. I spent the next two days or so literally running and hiding from Teen Dream whenever I saw her. I hid in clothing racks, behind candy bar stands, in bathroom stalls... you get the idea. I would even duck underneath her register view point and run when I had to leave from work.

Naya was very talkative with me all of a sudden. She was asking me about my life, what things I like, what I look for in a girl, etc. Naya; Have you always known that you were gay? Me; Pretty much. (laugh) Do you remember the cartoon Rescue Rangers? I didn't realize it at the time, but I totally had a crush on the girl mouse. Naya (laughing); That's amazing! Me; Yeah, it's pretty weird to look back on. So... was it weird for you to play gay on Glee because you are straight? Naya; I hate that word, straight. I think that love is love and gender is really not a factor. I think that my heart jumped out of my chest upon hearing this. My largest TV crush and current coworker had just admitted that she could, maybe, possibly... be into a girl at some point. It took me a second to feel the drool on my lip and quickly wiped it away before she noticed. Me (trying to remember to breathe); Wow, that's a really open-minded outlook. Have you ever been with a girl? Naya; You mean besides Brittany? (we both giggle) No. Well, not yet. If anyone could ever die of a heart attack from excitement, I would have dropped dead at this point in my dream. Naya; I notice that you haven't been paying much attention to that girlfriend of yours. Me (very confused); But I thought you said... I mean... I still don't even understand why you said that. Naya; It will make sense eventually. You're kind of cute when you're trying to think something out with that confused face. I immediately blushed and wanted to surgically make this face permanent so Naya would always think that I was cute. Me; Can I be totally honest with you? Naya; Only if it doesn't include you admitting to a murder... Me (with a laugh); No, nothing like that. It's just that... when you were on Glee... I was seriously into you. Like into into you. Not as a character... as Naya. I used to watch your interviews and follow your Tweets and, man, you are just as amazing in real life. (I took a deep breath, hoping I didn't just officially scare her away) Naya; Hold that thought. Naya walked away and, again, left me standing alone. I was positive at this point that I had freaked her out beyond repair. I was already considering what new jobs I would apply for. Maybe K-mart was hiring, if they hadn't all died a bankrupt death. I was even more sure of my mistake when Naya didn't come back before I got done with work. Solemnly, I walked out of the front door with my head down. HEY! I heard somebody yell across the parking lot. I perked my head up and looked around. At first, I saw only parked cars and wondered if this was some

trippy dream thing or if I had lost my mind. Then, I saw an arm waving out of an SUV with tinted windows. I tried to see facial features, but it was too far away. Since I assumed it was a girl (she sounded familiar) I cautiously made my way to the vehicle. Naya; Get in and stop acting like I'm a rapist. (she said with a grin through the open window) I opened the passenger car door to notice a few things on the seat; Cheetos, a bag of (what looked like) the best Marijuana I could ever smoke, an autographed Taking Back Sunday CD and a dozen rainbow colored roses. I slowly picked up and moved each one onto my lap as I sat in the seat. Me; What is all of this? (I had hopes, but I wanted to be sure...) Naya; Well, it's for you. Haven't you noticed me asking you a lot of questions lately? Me; Of course, but I really thought it was just like work etiquette or whatever. You got me all of my favorite stuff? Naya; I did. Know why? Me; I have ZERO idea why you would do this for me. (I said this whilst eying the bags of bud and Cheetos) Naya; Because... I'm into into you. She leaned over, put a hand softly on my cheek to lead me in her direction and kissed me with the power of a thousand fireworks. Or a million. I don't know fireworks that well. I snapped my head back quickly, with my eyes wide and my heart pounding uncontrollably. Me; You what? You really? For real? (I realize I wasn't making full sentences... would you be able to?) Her only response was another kiss and a reach across the middle counsel to hold my hand. This I thought is the BEST dream of my entire life. Then, she started to drive. We ended up back at her apartment, which was truly more like a palace. Hey, my dream; my rules. We spent the whole night on the couch cuddling and watching a marathon of Family Guy. She would randomly surprise me with a kiss on the cheek or neck or, if I was REALLY lucky, my lips. I couldn't help but think... is she my girlfriend now? Suddenly, the dream is 3 months later. Yes, in fact, she was my girlfriend. Thank you, imagination and subconscious! Neither of us worked at that supermarket anymore, not like we ever did a job anyways. I lived with her in her palace apartment and woke her up every morning with kisses and snuggles. You can only assume the type of pajamas she wore to bed at night based on the rest of my wild imagination (we probably bought out Victoria's Secret). Naya; Get dressed, we've got a date today. I guess I knew at this point that our date days were awesome, because I was ready in .4520 seconds. She, as always, looked beautiful and we hopped in the SUV where our first kiss happened. Before I knew it, we were at a tattoo shop. Me; What are we doing here?

Naya; We're getting tattoos! Don't get freaked out though, not of our faces or anything. I thought we could both take some time to think of something that we would want permanently to remind us of each other... without it being too painful if something were to happen between us. Loving tattoos, I was instantly in for this idea. I began to scour my brain for things that would remind me of her forever. We both decided to get them on the back of our calves because it would be seen most often without having the whole trashy aspect. I was curious; Me; What are you going to get? Naya; I know that you are into Latin, so I found a phrase that I really like. Me; What is the phrase? Naya (trying her best to pronounce a dead language); Nunc scio quid sit amor Me; I know that amor means love and quid means what, but what does the whole thing mean? Naya (grabbing my hand and linking our fingers together); It means Now I know what love is. Oh. My. God. Naya Rivera is in love with me. I suppose that's not too much of a shock in one of my dreams... I mean, it's more realistic than me flying or losing all of my teeth (I hope). Oh yeah... and I watched Smooth Criminal right before bed... that explains her black Michael Jackson outfit. This put the pressure on for me to think of something truly amazing for my tattoo. Thankfully, the tattoo parlor had a laptop (how classy), so I used it to look up ideas. At the same time, I was holding Naya's hand. Actually, I was more getting it crushed every time the needle hit a sore spot on her calf. Finally, it came to me. Me; Naya, I got it. I've got the perfect idea for mine. Naya; What did you choose? Me; I chose Spanish because of your Puerto Rican side and because it is close to Latin... Naya (wincing in tattoo induced pain); Ok! What is it?! Me (in a sad, Minnesotan excuse of a Spanish accent); No quiero que este sueo se termina Naya (still in pain and not in the mood for puzzles); Something about wanting? Me; I never want this dream to end. We both got our tattoos and walked back to the SUV with huge bandages around our legs. We got inside and I leaned over to kiss her. I took her hand, pulled it close to my heart and said; Me; Naya, this is just a dream. None of this actually happened. I hate this part. This is where I'm about to wake up. This is when it all becomes fake. This is when I go back to being a crazy fan. (I'm being completely serious about this, I often tell myself the reality of my dreams when I am inside of them) Naya (kissing me once more); That's crazy. With that, I woke up. The four things upon my mind as I woke up; Poor Teen Dream..., Why the hell weren't they working on Glee anymore?, Do we still have Cheetos? and Why did I have to wake up? No quiero que este sueo se termina.