WRITING TASK 1 REVISION

[Link] CHART: làm rõ trend

OVERVIEW: (usually 2/3)
- Total: 
+ so sánh danh sách các hạng mục (có cái nào bị thay đổi ở năm sau hay không?)
+ hoặc so sánh tổng của mỗi pie với nhau (eg: lượng tiền chi tiêu ở nước A và B nhiều hơn rõ rệt ở nước C)
- Biggest: miếng to nhất trong mỗi chart 
- Smallest: miếng nhỏ nhất trong mỗi chart

BODY 1: STRIKING FEATURES

- Total: tổng của mỗi biểu đồ đều tăng hoặc giảm (eg: units of electricity in 2 different years/ countries)
- The biggest proportion
- The smallest proportion
- Hạng mục bị thay đổi, thay thành cái gì
- Các hạng mục cùng 1 đặc điểm (eg: positive/ negative feedback)
- !!! Thường luôn gồm những feature được nêu ra từ overview  ptich rõ hơn về chúng

BODY 2: The others

NOTE:
- Với 3 biểu đồ ở 3 năm khác nhau  dùng cấu trúc 3 năm

PIE CHART 1 (redo)

The following pie charts show the results of a survey into the most popular leisure activities in the United States of
America in 1999 and 2009.

The given graphs indicate how free-time activities were preferred in the USA from 1999 to 2009.
As can be seen from the charts, the most popular activity in both two years was walking.
In addition, yoga was chosen by the least people in 1999 and was replaced by weightlifting in 2009.  hơi cụ thể
quá  The list of pastimes remained almost unchanged over the period of ten years.

We can see that the percentage of participants who enjoyed walking in their freetime was 29 percent in 1999 while
the figure for yoga was five percent only. Ten years later, walking remained the highest figure  đã nêu ở overview
in the diagram, with 31 percent, whereas weightlifting became the substitute for yoga, with 10 percent.
- Cần chỉ ra trend rõ hơn chứ không phải nêu số liệu so sánh giữa 2 năm.

Among the other activities, in 2009, significant drops were recorded in the proportion of citizens opted for jogging,
bicycling and aerobics respectively. However, the percentage of people who liked swimming in their freetime
experienced a doubled growth after ten years. At the same time, there were hardly any change in the proportion of
paticipants voter for soccer and camping.
- Cần chỉ ra trend rõ hơn chứ không phải nêu số liệu so sánh giữa 2 năm.
- Câu (1) nên dùng V nếu như k chắc về danh từ số ít hay nhiều.
- people who liked swimming = swimmers

NOTE:
Free-time activities = pastimes
By contrast = On the contrary

Redo 2
The following pie charts show the results of a survey into the most popular leisure activities in the United States of
America in 1999 and 2009.

The given graphs indicate how the preference for/ the popularity of pastimes were voted changed in a questionare
in the USA from 1999 to 2009.
The given graphs illustrate how free-time activities were preferred in the USA in the year 1999 and 2009.

As can be seen from the graphs, walking was the most popular leisure activity in both years. (biggest)
In addition, the list of these activies stayed almost the same over the period of ten years. (total)
According to these charts, the proportion of people opting for walking experienced a slight growth of two percent
grew slightly form 29 percent to 31 percent. On the contrary, only five percent of the participants/respondents
voted for yoga, the lowest figure in 1999. Therefore, Ten years later, yoga was substituted by weightlifting, whose
figure accounted for ten percent which was added by ten percent of the respondents.

Among the other activities, there was a dramatic increase in the percentage of swimmers after ten years. However,
the proportions of citizens who choosed chose jogging, bicycling and aerobics slightly dropped by four percent, five
percent and nine percent respectively. The figure for soccer and camping did not change substantially over the
period.

REDO 3:)))
The following pie charts show the results of a survey into the most popular leisure activities in the United States of
America in 1999 and 2009.

The given graphs illustrate how pastimes were preffered in the USA from 1999 to 2009.
As can be seen from the charts, the list of free-time activites remained almost unchanged over the period of 10
years. In addition, walking was the most favourite activity in both two years.

There was an increase of two percent in the percentage of people who chose to walk in their freetime.
According to the charts, there was a moderate/ slight increase from 29% to 31% in the percentage of people who
chose to walk in their freetime.
However, the figure for yoga in 1999 was only five percent, the lowest proportion.
Subsequently, this activity was replaced by weightlifting in 2009 by 10 percent of participants.
This activity was replaced by weightlifting which was added by 10 percent of the participants.

Regarding the other free-time activities, While the percentage of Americans who were interested in soccer and
camping stayed stable after ten years, the figures for the proportion of people who opted for soccer, bicycling and
aerobics declined moderately by four percent, five percent and nine percent respectively. By contrast, a surge of
nine percent was recorded in the percentage of swimmers in 2009.

REDO 4:)))
The following pie charts show the results of a survey into the most popular leisure activities in the United States of
America in 1999 and 2009.
The given graphs illustrate how pastimes were preffered  PREFERRED in the USA from 1999 to 2009.

As can be seen from the charts, the list of (free-time) activities remained almost the same over the period of ten
years. Among them, walking was the most popular activity in both two years.

According to the graphs, there was a moderate rise from 29 percent to 31 percent (over a decade) in the
percentage of respondents who opted for walking in this survey. However, The proportion of people who were
interested in yoga was only five percent in 1999, which was the lowest figure. This activity was replaced by
weightlifting which was voted by 10 percent of participants in 2009.

Looking at the other activities, the percentage of Americans liking to play soccer and go camping stayed stable after
10 years. A surge of nine percent was recorded in the proportion of swimmers in 2009. By contrast, the figure for
jogging, bicycling and aerobics declined/dropped by four percent, five percent and nine percent respectively.

PIE CHART 2 (redo)

The charts below show the results of a questionnaire that asked visitors to the Parkway Hotel how they rated the
hotel's customer service. The same questionnaire was given to 100 guests in the years 2005 and 2010.
The given pie graphs indicate how visitors of the Parkway Hotel felt about their customer service between 2005 and
2010.

As can be seen from the charts, the (customer) service of this hotel was improved over the period of five years.
Another noticeable point is that the most common feedback was satisfactory in 2005 and good in 2010. (???câu này
ko nói lên điều gì)

Regarding the positive responds, there was were only five people thinking that the customer service was excellent
in 2005. However, this figure increased dramatically to 28 visitors in 2010. Similarly, a sharp growth from 14 percent
to 25 percent was recorded in the percentage of “good” feedbacks feedback. On the contrary, this hotel
experienced a drop from 45 percent to 17 percent in the number of visitors who felt satisfied with their service.

Among the other feedbacks, the percentages of “poor” and “very poor” responds considerably decreased by nine
percent and 11 percent respectively.

Tự nhận xét:
Feedback là uncountable N.
Bài còn dùng những từ khá đơn giản, chưa show dc khả năng paraphrase.
Bài chưa thể hiện rõ trend, còn khá là nêu số liệu. Nói chung là qua bài thì có thấy được trend của biểu đồ, nhưng
cách phân tích còn quá đơn giản.
Cần chia lại body 1 và 2, hiểu rõ cách làm overview, sử dụng việc paraphrase thường xuyên hơn để tránh lặp từ.
However, việc dùng các structures cũng đã thành thạo hơn.
Keep it uppppp

Redo 2
The charts below show the results of a questionnaire that asked visitors to the Parkway Hotel how they rated the
hotel's customer service. The same questionnaire was given to 100 guests in the years 2005 and 2010.
The given pie graphs illustrate the outcomes of a survey about how customers evaluated the service of the Parkway
Hotel between 2005 and 2010.

As can be seen from the charts, the customer service of this hotel was considerably improved over the period of five
years. In addition, the proportions of ‘satisfactory’, ‘poor’ and ‘very poor’ feedback accounted for over three
quarters of the chart in 2005quá chi tiếtThe majority of feedback in 2005 was satisfactory, poor and very poor
while good, excellent and satisfactory were (the most) common responds in 2010.

We can see that there was only five visitors saying that the service quality was excellent in 2005 whereas in 2005,
the percentage of people who opted for ‘good’ was 14 peoplenhàm chán, hơi lủng củng the percentage of
“good” feedback received in the same year was 14 percent. However, after five years, the number of these
evaluations/ comments surged to 28 percent and 39 percent respectively, accounted for two thirds of the total
figure.

Regarding the other options, a dramatic drop of nearly 30 percent was recorded in the percentage of participants
who felt satisfied about the hotel’s service. Similarly, the number of guests voting for who gave ‘poor’ and ‘very
poor’ ratings decreased substantially by approximately 10 percent each.

The given pie graphs illustrate the outcomes of a survey about how customers evaluated the service of the Parkway
Hotel between 2005 and 2010.

As can be seen from the charts, the customer service of this hotel was considerably improved over the period of five
years. The majority of feedback in 2005 was satisfactory, poor and very poor whereas good, excellent and
satisfactory were (the most) common responds in 2010.

We can see that there was only five visitors saying that the service quality was excellent in 2005 while the
percentage of “good” feedback received in the same year was 14 percent. However, after five years, the number
of these evaluations/ comments surged to 28 percent and 39 percent respectively.
Regarding the other options, a dramatic drop of nearly 30 percent was recorded in the percentage of participants
who felt satisfied about the hotel’s service. Similarly, the number of guests who gave ‘poor’ and ‘very poor’ ratings
decreased substantially by approximately 10 percent each.

Redo 3
The charts below show the results of a questionnaire that asked visitors to the Parkway Hotel how they rated the
hotel's customer service. The same questionnaire was given to 100 guests in the years 2005 and 2010.

The given pie graphs indicate how visitors’ evaluations about the Parkway Hotel’s service quality changed between
2005 and 2010.

As can be seen from the charts, the quality of this hotel’s customer service was much better over the period of five
years. In addition, the majority of feedback in 2005 was satisfactory, poor and very poor but most survey
participants agreed that the service was good and excellent in 2010.

Looking at positive assessments, only five percent of respondents saying that the customer service here was
excellent whereas the number of guests opting for good was only 14 people.
On the contrary, there was a jump of 23 percent in the percentage of people who voted for excellent in 2010.
Similarly, a surge form 14 percent to nearly 40 percent was recorded in the proportion of visitors responding to
the survey that the customer service was good.
(2)  câu dài, nên ghép  However, five years later, the percentage of people who gave these two kinds of
rating increased steeply by roughly 25% each.

Regarding negative feedback, it is clear that the percentage of people feeling satisfied, poor and very poor about
the hotel’s service in 2005 was 45 percent, 21 percent and 15 percent respectively. However, until 2010/ five years
later/ over the next five years, there was a dramatic fall of 28% in the percentage of guests voting for
“satisfactory”. The “poor” and “very poor” feedback also declined substantially by about 10% each.
PIE CHART 3:
The pie charts below show units of electricity production by fuel source in Australia and France in 1980 and 2000.

REDO 1
The given graphs illustrate how much electricity was produced by five sources of fuel in Australia and France
between 1980 and 2000.
The given graphs compare two countries in terms of the quantity of electric power THEY produced by five
different fuel sources in the year 1980 and 2000.
- Sai về rút gọn mđqh (thiếu S)

As can be seen from the charts, the amount of electricity in both nations increased dramatically over the period
of 20 years.
 Both countries produced significantly more electricity over the period of 20 years.
In addition, while the main source OF FUEL FOR ELECTRICITY GENERATION in Australia was coal, France mainly
depended on nuclear power.
- the main source of fuel FOR DOING STH

According to the given data, the total electricity production of Australia and France surged by 70 units and 90
units respectively. There was a sharp climb of 80 units in the quantity of electric power COMING from coal in
Australia while the figure for France stayed unchanged at 25 units over the 20-year period. However, this
 country underwent a soar from 15 units to 126 units in the use of nuclear power for producing electricty (but)
whereas this source was not USED in Australia.
- ko có to be came from  coming from

Looking at the other three sources electricity production by the other three sources of fuel, a substantial
growth was recorded in the generation of electric power CONTRIBUTED by hydro power in Australia whereas
THE AMOUNT OF ELECTRICITY PRODUCED BY THIS SOURCE in France decreased to two units. By contrast, the
amount of electric production GENERATED FROM oil in France slightly grew up while the figure for Australia
declined notably. Both EACH OF THESE countries witnessed a remarkable dip to only two units in the quantity of
electricity COMING from natural gas.
- phải là ‘nhìn vào SỰ SẢN XUẤT điện BỞI …’
- thay vì lặp lại “by coal”  by this (fuel) source
- khi phân vân về both countries nhưng lại đi với “a”  EACH OF THESE COUNTRIES
- còn chia động từ bị thiếu

PIE CHART 3:
The pie charts below show units of electricity production by fuel source in Australia and France in 1980 and 2000.

REDO 2
Outline
Overview
 - Total production: both surged
- Main source: Aus: coal >< Fr: nuclear power
Body 1: Total + Coal + Nuclear
- Total: soar(ed) by ~80 units
- Coal – Fr: stayed constant at 25
- Coal – Aus: remained highest both years; accelerated by 80 units
- Nu – Fr: jump from 15 to 126 => became highest in 2000
- >< Nu – Aus: not used
Body 2: Oil + NaGa + HyPo
- NaGa – Aus: giảm đáng kể ~~ Fr:
- HyPo – Aus: tăng đáng kể >< Fr: giảm đk
- Oil – Aus: giảm 8 >< Fr: tăng 5
Intro
The given graphs indicate how much electricity was produced by five sources of fuel in Australia and France
between 1980 and 2000.
Overview
As can be seen from the charts, the total amount of electricity in both nations surged over the period of twenty
years. In addition, while coal was the main source for electricity generation in Australia, France mainly
depended on nuclear power.
Body 1
- Total: soar(ed) by ~80 units
- Coal – Fr: stayed constant at 25
- Coal – Aus: remained highest both years; accelerated by 80 units
- Nu – Fr: jump from 15 to 126 => became highest in 2000
>< Nu – Aus: not used
Each of the countries underwent a soar of approximately 70 units and 90 units respectively in the total
production of electric power in 2000. The amount of eletricity generated from coal in France stayed constant at
25 units whereas the use of this fuel in Australia accelerated from 50 units to 130 units after twenty years,
remaining the highest figure. However, while nuclear power was not used in this nation, the quantity of
electricity contributed from this fuel source in France jumped from 15 units to 126 units and became the main
electric source of France in 2000.

NOTE:
- Không cần thiết phải nêu lại thời gian
 - Câu trước V -> N
- Không nêu lại các thông tin (main source, highest) ở ovv
Body 2
- NaGa – Aus: giảm đáng kể ~~ Fr: đều còn 2 units
- HyPo – Aus: tăng đáng kể >< Fr: giảm đk
- Oil – Aus: giảm 8 >< Fr: tăng 5
Looking at the other sources, the amount of electric power produced by natural gas in Australia and France
declined substantial by 18 units and 23 units respectively.
 Each of these nations experienced a substantial decline to only two units in the quantity of electricity produced by
natural gas over the same period.

By contrast, a considerable climb was recorded in the quantity of electricity coming from hydro power, which
was a reverse trend to [Link] the units of electric power contributed by this fuel in France declined
insignificantly. While Australia overcame a small decrease of eight units in the amount of elecitity generated by
oil, the figure for France increased slightly by five units.
NOTE:
- Không viết tắt bằng cách dùng reverse trend to…
- Cùng một điểm số (cùng giảm xuống còn 2) => each of these nations experienced … to only two units in
…
LINE GRAPH 1:
The graph below shows UK acid rain emissions, measured in millions of tonnes, from four different sectors between
1990 and 2007.