Journal for Social Emotional Intelligence.

Submitted By: Amitoj singh (PG2011014) Submitted To: ___Aparna kaushik___ Date of Submission: __7th april 2012__________

Social Emotional Intelligence:

It is the New Science of Interpersonal Effectiveness. Anyone can become angry, that is easy. But to be angry with the right person to the right degree, at the right time, for the right purpose, And in the right way, is not that easy.

Intelligence is typically focused on: analytic reasoning, verbal skills, spatial ability, attention, memory, judgement

Emotional Intelligence (EI):

in our relationships.

The propensity for interpreting our own feelings and those of others, for motivating ourselves, and for managing emotions well in ourselves and

Emotions can be viewed:

Chaotic Haphazard Superfluous

Incompatible with reason Disorganized largely visceral

resulting from the lack of effective adjustment

EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE TEST Sr. no. 1 2 3 4 5 Statement Im aware of even subtle feelings as I have them I find myself using my feelings to help make big decisions in life Bad moods overwhelm me When Im angry, I blow my top or fume in silence I can delay gratification in pursuit of my goals instead of getting carried away by impulse When Im anxious about a challenge, such as a test or public talk, I find it difficult to prepare well Instead of giving up in the face of setbacks or disappointments, I stay hopeful and optimistic People dont have to tell me what they feel I can sense it My keen sense of others feelings makes me compassionate about their plight I have trouble handling conflict and emotional upsets in relationships I can sense the pulse of a group or a relationship and state unspoken feelings. I can soothe or contain Alwa Usua Sometim Rare ys lly es ly Neve r scor e

8 9

10 11

12

distressing feelings so they dont keep me from doing things I need to do scoring Category Always Usually Sometimes Rarely Never Scoring 0 1 2 3 4 Reverse scoring 4 3 2 1 0

Reverse scoring for: 1,2,5,7,8,9,11,12 The score within the range of 30-44 is average emotional intelligence.

Exercise 1:
Emotional Continuum

Take a look at some of the emotions below and think about times when you experienced these feelings and what it felt like.
Aggression: Many times I suffered from this sort of emotion.I rememberd one
instance,when I was playing finals of interstate championship of table tennis,the opposition was showing aggrevieness and putting a lot of pressure. Due to which I too later on came out with same emotion i. e. aggression .This would come out as a very good lifetime example whenever I suffer from this sort of situation and will surely boost me up.I become aggressive when something or any topic is in concern with my self pride and self esteem.

Boredom: Generally this emotion is directly proportionate to loneliness in my life. To avoid this, I prefer to remain busy in academic and

recreational activities,prefer to remain with my family members as much as possible. Disgust: I felt very much diswgusted when someone uses abusive language (in concern with family)to the other person while talking. Few days ago i saw two people were fighting and meanwhile using very cheap abusive language in relation to their families.

Fear: Whenever word fear comes to my mind, only I thing clicked to my mind
that I hv a fear of going away from my family members,this emotion came when I was coming for MBA in delhi.I am very much emotionally especially with my mom. Happiness: Its the best feeling a person can enjoy. When my best friend become got married as he was very alone and living very boring life. I felt really very happy as he is very close to me. Loneliness: Loneliness is the worst experience in life as no one can live in isolation. One needs to be interactive and should have a networking. Rejection: This emotion comes very rare in my mind,as I accept every thing though there would be problems. Because from problems we learn and perform better in further tasks. Confidence: I am confident of what I want to do as I want to take finance as my majors. Whatever I think, I always do that. I hear everybody but do that thing which I feel is best according to me. Enjoyment: I am a fun loving guy who really wants to enjoy every bit of my life and this would be possible only when I have been with my family members and my entertaining friends Grief: When my mother met with an accident and suffered from severe pain, my family and relatives were in grief as my mother ensured and build a lot of affection in the heart of everyone and I love her like anything. Hate: I hate liars as I never lie and dont want anyone to lie with me. In my post graduation my friend told the faculty that he did the entire project on his own which he didnt. Love: love is a best feeling which a person can get but when he is losing it then he would not stand the way he use to. If you provide love then only expect love from other side otherwise not. Anxiety: I am a very anxious person. What I want I really try to get it as soon as possible. Pride: There was a moment which I cant forget as when I was in my 12th class I convinced my mom and dad that brother truly love one girl and she too belong to our religion and of our kind. I got success in this talk and my brother said that I am very much proud to have a younger brother like you . That was the pride moment for me.

Exercise 2:
Identify the Emotions...

1)

This couple looking all messed up and confused.

2)

This lady is into day dreaming. She is looking to be of a very creative mind.

3)

In this clipart lady is looking as if she is giving some kind of an excuse or an explanation or maybe she is scolding children. 4)

These children are very impolite and inhuman as they are laughing on a child who is alone.

5)

This couple is very much excited and full of life 6)

These two children are totally messed up as how to solve the puzzles.

7)

This boy is very mischievious.

8) These guys are having fun as they share same mental mind. 9)

This girl is feeling that she is being left out by her class mates.

10)

They are getting scared as may be they have seen something scary.

11)

Here player is boosting some other player and making himself realise that there may be a hope of winning .

What qualities or characteristics do you want to possess by the time you complete your PGP? Qualities that I would like to possess are: Analytical skills Ability to build large network of people Convincing skills Being confident when put in a social environment new to me

Exercise 3:

ANS:When I joined my articleship in CA training , I learned a lot from that trainer,taught me in each and every step and more than that he understood me like anything. He liked my idea and way of doing audits and I liked his way of working the things in easy manner.If I get a change to work with him again I will undoubtedly will work and love working with him. 2) Think of a person in a leadership

1) Think of a person for whom or with whom you worked - one that you would gladly work with or for again.

position that you try to avoid, or left you drained, or hoping for more.

ANS:I want to start my this answer with a person who is Dhirubhai ambani. I guess everybody knows him. He is a person who was very innovative. We people hope that he should still be alive as we hope for more innovations.

3) How would you describe these people? How did they make you feel? ANS:I found these kind of people very brilliant, extra-ordinary. They think out of the box all the time which makes me to get influenced by there deeds and make me realise theres a lot to do in life.

Exercise 4:
Who will you chose? A plane en route from Los Angeles to Auckland, New Zealand has crashed on a deserted island somewhere in the pacific. Out of 209 passengers and crew, there are only 16 survivors. The island is revealed to only be about 100 miles south of American Samoa. The plane had to circle a large storm, which took it off-course. Because of this fact, the survivors wish to use the emergency life raft, leave the island and seek rescue. The winds and tide are heading north, so the life raft would most likely make it. However, there is only room for 8 people on the raft. You must choose which ones will set sail and which ones will remain on the island and await rescue, but some survivors require immediate medical attention. 1. Robert, age 26, a college student majoring in medicine, 2. Tiffany, age 21, a fashion model with a broken arm, 3. Howard, age 37, a male flight attendant 4. Theresa, age 29, a marine biologist 5. Jack, age 31, an Olympic swimmer 6. Brenda, age 30, Jack's wife and an Olympic swimmer 7. Keith, age 24, a musician with a large piece of shrapnel stuck in his leg 8. Olivia, age 39, a flight attendant 9. William, age 60, a doctor 10. Lynda, age 53, an artist 11. Michael, age 40, the co-pilot of the plane 12. Carolyn, age 34, a real estate agent

13. Todd, age 19, a college student with multiple broken ribs and a serious head injury 14. Rita, age 38, a nurse 15. Stephen, age 33, a chef 16. Taylor, age 27, a flight attendant The one which are bolded would selected to go in the raft.

Exercise 5: Assessment of Your Workplace Decision-Making Style Indicate whether you agree or disagree with each of the statements below: - It is important to control emotions at work.yes Decisions need to be made on logical and rational grounds.yes People should try put their personal feelings aside.no Overly emotional people dont fit in well in the workplace.yes Expressing feelings should be limited. no Emotional awareness is less important than logical thinking.no At work, people should emphasize logic over feeling. no

Exercise 6:
Social Skill Test from Qeeendom.com and analysis about self social skills. (print

Exercise 7:
PERSONAL ACTION PLAN Ans: Writing about Self: Differentiating between your real self and perceived self: REAL SELF: I tend to take life and events quite seriously. I like to dig deep into what interest me. I take peoples feedback positively and think of ways to improve myself. I like experimenting new things and approaching a problem/situation in a new way. I always prefer some fixed guidelines or deadlines for what I do. Im very comfortable is saying a direct no to people when required. Im a sensitive person who gives importance to personal values while taking an important decision. PERCEIVED SELF: Since Im a sensitive person and understand others perspective, many of my friends come and share their problems with me because they trust me that I will not disclose their problems to others. They say that I make them feel comfortable with me. I take things in my life seriously, this makes others to think that I dont enjoy my life and

there is no fun & excitement in my life. People have a perception about me that Im straight forward. Whatever I feel about a person, I state clearly to that person. CASE ANALYSIS: PLEASE SUGGEST One of your colleagues at work looks upset and asks if you will eat lunch with him. A t the cafeteria, he motions for you to sit away from the other diners. After a few minut es of slow conversation, he says that he wants to talk to you about whats on his mind. He tells you that he lied on his rsum about having a college degree. Without the de gree, he wouldnt have gotten the job. Which of the following would be most likely to result in having your colleague imme diately feel better about the situation? 1. Ask him how he feels about it so you can understand whats going on. 2. Offer to help him, but dont push yourself on him if he really doesnt want your help. 3. Have him share all the possible negative consequences of his act.Get him to work through what the worst outcome co uld be so he realizes that the situation may not be as bad as he thinks. 4. Quickly change the subject and do not deal with his issue right now. Getting his mind off the problem is the best thing to do

PES SCALE ANALYSIS: 1. I find it difficult to be frank with people unless I know them very well.__4______ 2. I listen carefully to others peoples opinions about my behaviour.__4______ 3. I tend to say things that turn out to be out of place.__2______ 4. Generally, I hesitate to express my feelings to others._3_______ 5. When someone directly tells me how he feels about my behavior, I tend to close up and stop listening.___0_____

6. On hindsight, I regret why I said something tactlessly. (On looking back, I regret why I said something that was thoughtless).__4______ 7. I am quite strong in expressing my opinions in a group or to a person, even if this may be unacceptable.___4_____ 8. I take steps to find out how my behavior has been perceived by the person with whom I have been interacting.__3______ 9. I deliberately observe how a person will take what I am going to tell him, and accordingly communicate to him. (I consciously observe how people feel about what I am going to tell them and accordingly adapt what I say).____3____ 10. When someone discusses his problem, I do not spontaneously share my experiences and personal problems, of a similar nature with him. (When people discuss their problems, I do not freely/impulsively share my experiences and personal problems of a similar nature with them).___3_____ 11. If people criticize me, I hear them at that time but do not bother myself about it later.___3_____ 12. I fail to pick up cues about the feelings and reactions of others when I am involved in an argument or a conversation. (I fail to pick up hints about other peoples feelings and reactions when I am involved in an argument or a conversation).__3______ 13. I enjoy talking with others about my personal concerns and matters.__2______ 14. I value what people have to say about my style, behavior, etc.__4______ 15. I am often surprised to discover or be told that people were put off, bored or annoyed when I thought they were enjoying interacting with me. (I am often surprised to discover or be told that people were driven away, bored or annoyed, while I actually thought that they were enjoying interacting with me).___2_____

Score Sheet

Statement Grade *1 (0) *4 (1) 7 (4) *10 (1) 13 (2)

Statement Grade 2 (4) *5 (4) 8 (3) *11 (1) 14 (4)

Statement Grade *3 (2) *6(0) 9(3) *12 (1) *15 (2)

Total (8) Self-disclosure

Total (16) Openness to Feedback

Total (8) Perceptiveness

EXERCISE 8: TARUN'S THINKING Tarun was laid off from work, along with several other employees, because of a business slowdown. He felt bummed out, worried, angry, and guilty, and he became quite depressed. He kept thinking, Im a born loser. Im letting my family down. QUES 1) how do you think these thoughts made him feel? ANS 1) Since he has been laid off, he must be feeling like a loser. He must be filled with all negative thoughts about himself. He is emotionally disturbed. He must be blaming his fate. Ques 2) Can you see where his thinking is distorted or inaccurate? Ans 2) he is thinking that since he is being laid off from the job, he is a born loser and letting his family down. But this is not the realty. Since it is the depression period, every company goes for

firing the employed to cut costs. Company has laid him off not because of his inefficiency but because company wants to reduce their human resource cost. He is not only the person who has been laid off. There are several other employees as well who have been laid off. Instead of creeping himself, he should accept the harsh reality of life and find some other job for himself. One failure in life does not make a person, loser. He should keep courage and find another job for himself. Ques 3) What thoughts would you suggest he think instead? Ans 3) he should understand that company has laid him off not because of his poor performance but because company wants to reduce its expenditure in the time of depression. There is no mistake of his that he is creeping about. Instead of getting de-motivated he should understand that he has a family responsibility on him. So he should keep courage and strength and try to find some other job to sustain his family. Thus he should be thinking about his family rather than getting depressed.

6 Hats Self Development Plan:

I want to correlate this six hats with the movie 3 Idiots

The WHITE Hat = Facts and Data :

If we relate this to the movie 3 Idiots when amir khan ask boman irani as who is accountable for the death of the boy, boman irani was questioned by him.

The RED Hat = Feelings / Intuition :

In 3 Idiots the three of the idiots were so attached to one another that they have generated feelings for each other.

The BLACK Hat = Issues / Concerns :

According to Amir Khan, the issue which aroused was that every person is different from one another. You cant force anyone to make their career as you want. Whatever they feel is good for them, they will choose that.

The Yellow Hat = Benefits :

In the movie 3 Idiots the two idiots R. Madhwan and Shraman Joshi got benefitted by Amir Khan as they choose their career as what they have dreamt of to be in life. Amir Khan helped them and was the best buddy for them. He can do anything for friendship that what we call friends with benefits.

The GREEN Hat = New ideas Possibilities:

In the movie 3 Idiots the person who really expel novel ideas and who was very innovative was Rancho (Amir Khan). As he delivered the baby with the vacuum cleaner.

The BLUE Hat = Managing the Thinking: The movie 3 idiots circulates around only one person i.e. Rancho who is the gem of college,capable of performing each and every task which ever was given to them.This picture solely

highlights the great thinking of Rancho.