The Rat and the Machine By Tim Delaney

INT. CLASSROOM, AFTERNOON ARTHUR "RAT" STEVENS (20) is in class. He is of medium build, but hard-headed and casually aggressive in his every action. His clothes are worn, but not uncool. We see the clock: 3:44. Rat blinks and shakes his head, as if to clear his head of a thought. At least one of his limbs is always in repetitive motion, his foot tapping or his pen twirling. He is tense. He looks at the clock occasionally, but never engages with the classroom discussion. LANNINGHAM (40s, female), authoritative at the head of the class, addresses the class in the smooth drone of higher education. LANNINGHAM ...so according to Bostroms argument, not only is it possible, its actually probable that we live in a simulation. Rat nods his head to an unheard beat. JEREMY (18), dressed loosely, an ill and sunken face, raises his hand too eagerly. Lanningham points to him, but he still has to clear his throat and stumble over his words before he gets his thought out. JEREMY So, uh, like The Matrix? LANNINGHAM Not exactly. You see, the idea is, if society reaches technological maturity, it will develop computers with enough power to simulate reality. If it is likely that society can last that long and will have an interest in creating a simulation, then it follows that such simulated reality exists. Rat looks back at the clock repeatedly, each time speeding up his tapping and drumming limbs. Jeremys hand shoots back up again, but he does not wait to be called on. Again, though his thoughts are all in order, it takes him a century to straighten them into speech. JEREMY So what? None of this matters? Wouldnt this information, like, completely destabilize society? LANNINGHAM The only difference between the real world and the simulated one is (MORE) (CONTINUED)

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LANNINGHAM (contd) that the simulation has a computer keeping all the rules and data in line and reality just does that naturally. Nothing else changes. Already, your brain just processes dataRat, twitching into a crescendo, drops his pen to the desk and stands in fluid silence. No one reacts; the teacher continues talking. Rat steps to the front of the room where a whiteboard rests on the wall. He begins writing on the board, but what he writes is obscured until he finishes as Lanningham continues her monotonous explication. LANNINGHAM -carried by your senses. Theres no reason why everything you have ever experienced or thought could not run on a computer, no reason that the only reality you know is not a constructed simulation. Rat finishes writing "BORING" in bold letters on the board, underlining it in swift strokes. He drums against his legs and snaps his fingers. All attention turns to Rat. RAT Sorry, excuse me, but one question. You think someone programmed all this? See, reality, or at least how we live it, is too boring. Who would bother? He sticks three white board markers together, end to end, making a pole. RAT Its just rigid rules and infinite time. If someone designed it, theyd make it more exciting. He takes off his shirt, hangs it off the end of the marker-pole. RAT People already spend most of their lives finding ways around boredom. They watch TV, play video games, do drugs - all bending the rules for a brief window out. He climbs up on an empty desk in front of him. (CONTINUED)

CONTINUED:

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RAT Theyd rather spend their time with imperfect fiction than reality, and whos to say theyre wrong? In a perfectly designed realityHe pulls a lighter from his front pocket and ignites the shirt on the end of the marker-pole. He waves the flaming garment under the classroom smoke detector. RAT there are no barriers, just impulse and gratification. You want, you get. Infinite happy for everyone. The fire alarm triggers. Sprinklers burst and extinguish the shirt. Rat hops off the desk and turns to face the class, water starting to run down his back. RAT But we dont live in that world. Somewhere along the line, someone screwed up. Endless rules, finite fun, boring, boring, boring. As one, all students in the class leap to their feet as the sprinklers soak through to their skin. Rat grins a wide skeleton smile, eyes wide. RAT I want out. CUE MUSIC (high BPM punk rock; Precision Auto-style). The students rush at Rat. Jeremy reaches him first; Rat grabs him by the lapels and wrecks him with a headbutt. Rat shakes off a student on his left and assaults another on his right. He lashes out wildly at the group, dropping one, then another, then another student, all of whom collapse to the soaking class room floor. Rat is still smiling. With a gasp, he ducks a wild haymaker, then leaps onto a desk and flees across the room, beating his attackers away as they grab at his legs. He kicks at two heads. One pulls him down; Rat kicks him in the face as he falls sideways onto the desk, then catches another on his way to the ground. Lifting his face from the wet tile floor, Rat sees the students unconscious around him and Lanningham, cold and stiff, standing before him. A moment of silence. Then, knives are pulled from back pockets as Rat rolls into a crouch. The two enter a tense Mexican standoff, sizing each other up in complete silence save the the sprinklers. Rat (CONTINUED)

CONTINUED:

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switches his knife from hand to hand. Suddenly, the teacher relaxes her posture, clears her throat, and straightens her jacket. LANNINGHAM How would a Cartesian react to Bostroms argument? Rat blinks, recovering from his daydream. He is still seated. We see the clock, 3:50. Everyone stares at Rat. RAT Im sorry? The teachers glare is withering. She sighs. LANNINGHAM Clearly, some of you are little overeager for the long weekend! Remember, four days off doesnt mean a free pass to neglect your studies; I expect all regular work to be completed by Wednesday. Rat sweeps his backpack off the floor and the teachers stare follows him to the exit. EXT. CITY CAMPUS, DAY Rat walks through the city from his class to his dorm. He passes a cop on the sidewalk. INT. RATS DORM ROOM, DAY Rat opens the door and enters his room. Rats side of the room is spartan. No posters, a set of formidable speakers, and a mess of papers. His roommates has a warmer, more personal appeal, with pictures of friends and posters decorating the walls. His roommate, GREG (20) jolts in surprise, interrupting the wild, sensual intercourse he enjoys with girlfriend SHARON (20). GREG Dude, what! He yanks the covers over their bodies, though their legs and heads are still visible. All three freeze. Greg does not exit Sharon. Rat unfreezes after a brief pause.

(CONTINUED)

CONTINUED: RAT Hey buddy, hows your Friday goin? GREG Dude, I told you, dont enter when theres a sock on the door! Rat gestures to Gregs feet. RAT Youre still wearing both your socks. (to Sharon) Really? He keeps his socks on?

5.

He offers Sharon a handshake. She remains too shocked to react. RAT Rat Stevens. Well, really Arthur, Rats just a middle school nickname I never shook andGREG Dude, get out! RAT Well geez, no need to get her panties in a twist! I got a call to make anyway. EXT. RATS DORM, AFTERNOON Rat lounges on the edge of the steps to his dorm and dials in a familiar number. On his right, PROTEST MAN (mid-30s, ugly) wears a sandwich board with slogan "CBC ARE THOUGHT POLICE" and a tinfoil hat to complement. The protester enjoys a cigarette and lazily admires the clouds. INT. VIMES DORM ROOM, AFTERNOON SEBASTIAN VIMES (20), a lanky and bespectacled student who dresses like he cant remember if hes a nerd who smokes or a stoner who studies, breaks up weed and packages it for easy sale. The bright sunlight leaks through lowered shades into the room, revealing a troubling geography of unwashed clothes, books, video games, pornography, and smoking devices layering his living space. Clearly, he is not in the habit of entertaining guests. Various school paraphenalia reveal that he attends a different school than Rat. His laptop is open in front of him, playing some eclectic new sounds. His phone rings and he answers. (CONTINUED)

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RAT VIMES! Vimes flinches at the loud noise from the phone, but he still smiles at Rats ludicrous enthusiasm. VIMES Hey, Rat, ready for the weekend? An assortment of jeers and cheers bubbles outside Vimess window. He peers through his blinds and sighs before turning back to the task at hand. RAT (OS) Absolutely! I just wanted to check what time youre getting back to the burbs. My train back home is tonight, so Ill already be there when you arrive. VIMES 3:45? I think? He examines an impressive spliff, twirling it between thumb and forefinger. VIMES All I know is, I got 3 hours in transit, and Ive rationed myself just enough to stay stratospherically stoned for the duration. RAT (OS) Sebastian Vimes, rationing weed? Business must be going well. Vimes looks out the window again, shifting the curtain to stare out at the happy, smiling collegiates enjoying the sunlight. VIMES Before a long weekend? This is my Black Friday. Selling to these kids is like shooting fish in a barrel. Drunk fish, with wallets full of Daddys cash. Demands so high, Ive almost sold myself sober.

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EXT. RATS DORM, AFTERNOON RAT There are worse reasons for a t-break. A cop walks by. Protest Man snaps to attention and clears his throat. Rat eyes his antics and sidles to a safe distance. PROTEST MAN Hey, man! Free thinkers unite! The Communications and Broadcast Commission is government mind control! VIMES (OS) Dont worry, Ive still got my secret stash. RAT I cant wait for tomorrow: I get to see you and we can get way too high. Got to go, though, some asshole is way too high. Rat slinks out of Protest Mans zone of influence as the protester awkwardly attempts to confront the disinterested cop. INT. RATS DORM ROOM, NIGHT A TV is on and shows a late night infomercial. The clock above the TV set reads 9:17. Rat works out in the foreground. PASTOR PETE (50s) is on the TV, speaking out against drugs. PASTOR PETE -so remember what Pastor Pete says, kids! "The only real high is heaven!" Rat mutes the set and turns the volume up on his music as we see Pastor Pete smile and take a large bite of celery. The music is angry and quick, like Rat himself; he paces his room and roars along with the music for a handful of words. He then continues to work out, though he is not exercising his body so much as exorcising a great rage. As he works out, we see the TV. The infomercial has the outdated-from-the-start look of all publicly funded TV. A huddle of teenagers in hoodies, jeans are in b/w on the TV; (CONTINUED)

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a marijuana leaf with an X through it is superimposed. A car crash in b/w; an X-ed six-pack of beer. A pregnant teen; a red line between simplistic male/female symbols. Pastor Pete appears again on the screen once again, continuing his evangelical monologue in silence. His shining, smiling face fills the screen. Rat focuses his attention on the screen again. Pastor Pete takes another bite of celery. Breathing heavily and slick with sweat, Rat spits in the Pastors televised eye. He makes a face at the screen and laughs with his teeth bared. As the spit drips down the screen, Greg and MEGAN (20) stumble in, drunk and handsy, the door banging behind them. GREG Oh, hey, uh... Rat is midway through lifting two dumbbells. Without any change in expression, he releases them mid-lift. They briefly rise before plummeting to the ground with a heavy bang. The noise stuns Greg and Megan. Rat pulls a packed bag out from under his bed. RAT Have fun, kids, but be careful: Pastor Petes watchin! He slips past them, out the door. INT. COLLEGE PARTY, NIGHT Something new, cool, and sexy booms over the speakers. Co-eds are mashed together in a wave of intoxication. Loving, fighting, and dancing are all happening in equal measure, and it can be hard to tell them apart. Apart from this festival of hormones sits Vimes, spliff in hand. PARTY BOY (20s) approaches with PARTY GIRL (20s). Party Boy is styled in the tradition of frat manliness, but he is far outclassed by his date. Party Girl is gorgeous and, unlike some of the other women at the party, has managed to keep her tight outfit classy. PARTY BOY I heard youre the guy to talk to? VIMES Yeah, my conversations are top notch. Highly rated. 10/10.

(CONTINUED)

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PARTY BOY (blank stare) You know, about hooking me up. With weed. Vimes ruffles through his bag and produces a packet of weed. VIMES One of these days my mastery of small talk is gonna supplant my pharmaceutical rep. Then which of us is going to be left making awkward jokes to strangers? He tosses the packet to Party Man. No response. VIMES $20. Stay healthy. They make the exchange. PARTY BOY Thanks, bro. PARTY GIRL Thanks. Vimes makes eye contact for the briefest second with the stunning Party Girl, but he looks away sharply and nods, coughing slightly. The couple walks away. VIMES (to the money) I agree completely, Mr. Jackson. The youth today - my god. Did you see that womans scandalous outfit? He looks where the couple stood. WHITE (??), squats next to Vimes. He wears an all-white suit, a tight, greasy face, and a smile that never touches his eyes. He is too clean and too mature for this party. His presence dampens the music, allowing his soft-spoken words to become audible. Vimes and White do not acknowledge each other. WHITE They only care about your goods. Not you. Vimes remains still. WHITE You could never get a girl like that. (CONTINUED)

CONTINUED: Vimes shifts uncomfortably. WHITE You dont belong here.

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Vimes stands and makes a bee-line for the door. White does not follow. On his way out, Vimes cuts along the edge of the dance floor, but he ignores the flashing lights and throbbing beats. A drunk stumbles into his path and Vimes steps past him as if he werent there. EXT. TRAIN PLATFORM, NIGHT Rat slouches against a support beam, bag at his feet, headphones on, far end of the platform. To his right is another beam, and immediately on the opposite side is a bench and two people, SALARY MAN (mid-30s) and TRAIN WOMAN (late 20s), with a seat between them. Salary Man is a drunk and haggard office worker, his buttons undone and his expensive suit marred with grime. He has become a vulture, locking in on the vulnerable, petite Train Woman as his prey for the night. SALARY MAN Hey, baby, how muchs a ride cost? Train Woman shifts, but does not respond. Salary Man scoots across the dividing seat, holding up a handful of $10 bills. SALARY MAN Come on, I got money, how much? He peers in at her face, pushing closer and closer. He breathes on her and starts to grope her leg, shoving the money into the waist of her pants. TRAIN WOMAN Please, just leave me alone. ISALARY MAN Hey, hey, Im paying, see, now let meUnseen, Rat has crossed to the second column, directly next to the bench. Emerging into the light of the platform, he smacks Salary Man across the back of the head. SALARY MAN Ah! The fuck... Who the fuck are you? Rat hops over the bench and into the seat Salary Man has just vacated. (CONTINUED)

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RAT The funny thing about you sex offenders: Ive never met one I would consider offensively sexy. Kind of a misnomer. Train Woman uses this moment to escape, hurrying down the platform. Salary Man turns to follow but Rat pulls him back onto the bench, arm around his shoulders as if they were just enjoying the cool, quiet night. SALARY MAN Get the fuck off me, man! He shakes Rat off and takes a swing at him, which Rat ducks easily. Rat drops his playful pretense. RAT Back up. You come at me, there is a price, and it is more than you can pay. SALARY MAN You punk, Ill kick your ass! RAT Youre asking yourself the wrong question. Youre asking, "Can I beat this insolent shit?" Sure. What you should be asking is, "When this kid pulls us both down on the tracks, will the train stop in time?" The train blares its horn, ripping through the tension. RAT Because I will, and it wont. People like you build walls because of people like me. The train pulls into the station. The two men stare each other down. Salary Man breaks eye contact and Rat boards the train with satisfaction floating in his slight, lopsided smile. As the train pulls away, we see a clock: 10 PM. EXT. SUBURBAN TRAIN STATION, AFTERNOON A train pulls up to a different platform and we see another clock: 4:15.

12.

EXT. SUBURBAN TRAIN STATION PARKING LOT, AFTERNOON Rat watches from the hood of a dirty, maroon 2002 Pontiac Aztek, a car universally recognized as the ugliest mode of transportation mankind has ever invented. Passengers pour out and Vimes crests the stairs. Rat leaps from the hood, claps, and points to his friend. At the bottom of the stairs, Vimes sees Rat and does the same. They sprint at each other, crashing together somewhere between a hug and a tackle. RAT Uh, hold on, I think I got the wind knocked out of me. Vimes flexes his arms, posing for Rat. VIMES Take your time. My immense musculature has overpowered greater men than the illustrious Rat Stevens. RAT Preposterous. VIMES Why, you dont think I could take you? RAT No, I mean, there are no men greater than me. Now, gimme some real lovin. They have a friendlier, tighter hug. They walk towards the car. VIMES So, Rat, howre you doing? RAT Great! My folks left me the keys to the house and the car. It feels weird being back home without them around, but if they want to spend a perfectly good four day break college hunting with the sister, thats their prerogative. Rat unlocks the car doors and they clamber in, Rat to the drivers side and Vimes to the passengers.

13.

INT. RATS CAR, AFTERNOON Rat keys the ignition, and puts the car in reverse. VIMES Yeah, effort into higher education? Now THAT is preposterous! The car exits the parking lot. RAT Preposterous was going to your Harvard interview stoned. I still think you couldve gotten in if youd tried. VIMES Ah, high school. All those happy memories are flooding back. Getting beaten by jocks. Getting rejected by cheerleaders. RAT Getting beaten by cheerleaders. VIMES It was one time, man! She had a mean left hook. RAT Does it feel weird to be back after you moved? VIMES Honestly? This place is still home to me. A few shitty stores full of shitty people on the same shitty streets: just the way I left it. RAT Shitty? My friend, you are forgetting our towns greatest asset. VIMES What? I am? RAT Diner Diner. VIMES DUDE.

(CONTINUED)

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RAT Yes yes. VIMES Oh dude, Diner Diner. Please tell me thats where were going. RAT I figured we can smoke in the parking lot before hand, too. The look he gives Vimes indicates that this is a question. VIMES Oh, uh, sure, its just... sure. Vimes may have swallowed his objection, but his face still ripples with discomfort. Rat focuses on the road and takes no notice. RAT Thats my boy! Roll us a fat one, Vimes, we got ourselves a homecoming! EXT. DINER PARKING LOT, AFTERNOON The boys finished hotboxing the car and ooze out the doors, stumble to the diner. The diner is a one-story, 24-hour affair: cheap but good, loyal clientele, a fixture for locals. A large sign, "The Schultz Diner", hangs over the door, but the rest of the building is covered with signs advertising its particular expertise as a diner, as if the one sign wasnt enough to clue in any passersby. Vimes points to the signs as he reads out the many diner signs, swinging both hands from sign to sign. VIMES Diner, diner, diner diner, dinerdinerdinerdinerRAT Ive missed this place so much. VIMES Whatre you gonna get? RAT Everything.

15. INT. DINER, AFTERNOON In booth up against a wide window, sunlight streaming in. The boys stare down their menus with intensity. The restaurant around them buzzes with activity but they take no notice. The music playing is far too cool for the place. Vimes is into it. A waitress approaches. WAITRESS Hi, welcome toRAT Nope. WAITRESS Excuse me? RAT Im sorry, we want a different waitress. WAITRESS What? WhyRAT Is Zoe here today? Go get Zoe. Vimes jumps a little at the name. Waitress pauses, smiles, and walks back to the kitchens. VIMES Dude, what? Zoe works here? Rat raises an eyebrow. RAT I thought you knew. I heard from my sister. When did you stop awkwardly stalking her? VIMES Gee, I dunno, when I graduated high school and my family moved away? RAT But you were so good at it! Cant let a little thing like geography get it the way of true talent. VIMES This isnt good. Im too high right now to be my usual suave and charming... uh... self.

(CONTINUED)

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RAT So go for brooding and mysterious. You got this. Oh, hey! ZOE (18) approaches, a small, sharp girl, not stunning but definitely interesting. Her confusion breaks into a smile. ZOE Sebastian and Rat! I didnt know you two were back in town. I havent seen either of you since, what, last summer? How are youA balding male head, BOSS (50s), appears the kitchen to squint at Zoe. BOSS Zoe! Whats this racket? ZOE Well, the jukebox is still broken, and I figured whatever I could get working is better than nothing. The boss recedes into the kitchen, unsatisfied. RAT Is that a screwdriver in your pocket or are you happy to see us? Zoe conspiratorially reveals a hammer and a screwdriver hidden in her waistressing outfit. ZOE How am I supposed to work when he wont stop playing Achey Breaky Heart? Sides, the machine was on the fritz anyway. Ive just... kept it there. Vimes crows over a juicy section of music. VIMES Japandroids! Oh man. Love em. ZOE Seriously, who doesnt? Quick, though, order something? Boss needs to see Im a good worker bee.

(CONTINUED)

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RAT Were here for the weekendVIMES -up at RatsRAT -but for right now, Id like a Shamrock and a Dr Pepper. VIMES Gimme a Matsui and some water. Zoe smiles, clicks her pen, and leaves. VIMES Dude, I came off like an asshole. RAT Relax, you didnt scare her off. Itd help if you said anything, but hey, maybe shes into mutes. VIMES What was I supposed to say? "Hello, Im so high my tongue stopped working, how wha yoo thhiss fahn day?" RAT Thatd be better than sitting there all tight, sweaty, and silent. It was your best sphincter impression yet. VIMES He admits it! I did look like an asshole. Zoe emerges from kitchen and starts walking towards them with their drinks. She smiles at Vimes, and Rat grins at his friend. RAT Fists up, bud: its round two and she comin for you! Vimes smiles despite himself. CUT TO:

18. EXT. RATS STREET, AFTERNOON The car pulls up in front of Rats parents modest two-story house and the boys hop out. Outside the neighboring house, an empty, nondescript sedan idles, drivers side door ajar, beeping noise coming from inside. Rat makes it halfway to his door before Vimes stops him. RAT So full. You know I dream about that place when Im away? VIMES Hey Rat, whats up with that car? Rat looks at the idling car. RAT Huh. Wasnt there when I left. Maybe its my neighbors? He moved in around the time I left for school, so I dunno, could be. He heads toward the house. VIMES Weird. Vimes cellphone beeps, text received. He pulls it out. VIMES Hiyo! Rat, lets go make some cash. Rat reverses course. RAT Mmmmwhat? VIMES Old client of mine. I told him Id be back in town. RAT There it is! The spirit that made this country great! Say it with me, loud and proud: CAPITALISM! CAPITALISM! CAPITALISM! They jog to the car, Rat cheering Vimes on. The doors slam and the car takes off. Rats car turns off the end of the street just as a sleek black sedan enters, smooth and silent, from the other end. It pulls up behind the neighbors car and stops.

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EXT. MEGACORP OFFICES, EVENING Large, gray, soulless: Megacorp Offices is a cubicle for cubicles at the edge of an office park. JERRY (29) waits at a bus stop bench. Glasses, short sleeve button up tucked into khakis with a cheap belt. Hes a drone, but not a very good one. The boys roll up to the sidewalk and hop out of the car. VIMES Hey Jer, hows the mail room? JERRY Im deputy HR liason now. VIMES Lookit you! Moving on up! Whats your new job? JERRY I hand people memos. VIMES Oh. And hows that going? JERRY Not so bad, well, not so bad once I remembered youre back in town. I appreciate the rush delivery, Im stuck here all night. VIMES On a Saturday? Glad to be of service. Oh, Jerry, meet Rat Stevens, Rat, Jerry Dukakis. RAT Yo. Without unlocking the car door, Vimes scrambles through the open passenger side window. He digs wildly for his bag, taking much longer than if he had opened the door. RAT So. Work? On a weekend? What are you cats up to in there? JERRY Damage control. Some in-development tech went missing. Government funded, apparently, so the CBC is hanging around, but you know (MORE) (CONTINUED)

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JERRY (contd) bureaucracy, theyre just being a hassle. Its just a lot of memos and yelling. More exciting than most days. Usually its just memos. RAT You should hang out with us. All yelling, no memos. VIMES (upper body still lodged in car) AH! GOT IT! JERRY Id prefer to get paid. RAT So would we. Vimes wriggles back to his feet, tosses a baggie to Jerry. Jerry hands Rat the money. VIMES Pleasure doing business with you. JERRY Please, the pleasure is all mine. RAT And the money is all ours. Vimes? CUT TO: INT. RATS HOUSE, ATRIUM, EVENING Rat spins through the door, tapping his way into the kitchen. Vimes saunters behind him, letting all his fond memories for the house roll across his face. INT. RATS HOUSE, BASEMENT, EVENING The boys collapse on a well-loved sofa, facing a mid-00s midrange TV set with assorted video game consoles and DVD cases coating its stand. Vimes breathes deeply. Music plays in the background. VIMES And were back!

(CONTINUED)

CONTINUED: RAT Like we never left. VIMES Ah, the Ratcave. How Ive missed you, you little isolationist den of adolescent squalor you. He gestures to the shelves of games and films. VIMES Anything new? RAT Nah, same old, same old. VIMES So what now? RAT I told you: same old, same old.

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Rat reaches behind the couch and pulls up an impressively sized bong. VIMES Ehh... RAT What? VIMES Only thing is, um, I dont want to smoke too much. Last night, I dont know, I think I... hallucinated? Rat is confused; how is this a bad thing? RAT Isnt that kinda the point of drugs? VIMES I dont know, man, there was this guy and I think he was supposed to represent truth or something and anyway it was just a huge bummer. It was- I just dont feel like smoking, okay? RAT Huh. I- okay. Anything you want to talk about?

(CONTINUED)

CONTINUED: VIMES No, its just- forget I said anything. Just was a weird night, I guess, Id rather forget about it. RAT Sure. Tell you what- well make tonight extra-not-weird, just to be safe! So: New plan!

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He reaches behind the sofa and produces a tub of dangerously cheap vodka. VIMES Fair enough. Rat produces two shot glasses and fills them. RAT Care for a toast? Vimes considers. VIMES To normal. Rat roars back with joy and fire, making a grand, sweeping gesture for his imaginary audience. RAT TO NORMAL! The drinking begins. EXT. RATS STREET, NIGHT Rat and Vimes lie on the lawn, with the empty vodka container between them. Hours have passed, but they didnt notice until now. The neighbors car is empty and running, and the sleek black sedan is still parked behind it. VIMES Look at those stars, man. RAT Those are all planes, dingus. Were too near the city, you cant see the stars through the light pollution. Vimes raises his hands in front of him, envisioning a film title.

(CONTINUED)

CONTINUED: VIMES "Rat Stevens: FUN KILLER" Rat sits up. RAT Ah, sorry man. Im just, Im bored. We should do something. VIMES What happened to the "normal" plan? And anyway, were drinking. RAT Were drunk! He lobs the empty vodka bottle over his shoulder. RAT Its not enough. VIMES You know theres nothing to do here after 11.

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Rat looks off in the distance, with the neighbors car in his line of sight only by coincidence. RAT No, I mean, in general. Its never enough. No matter what I do, the boredom comes back. No matter how many corners I turn, I end up going in circles. I guess in the end its just bored bored dead, you know? A pause follows. VIMES Are you kidding? Look up at the stars (shut up, look), and feel the grass right here, right under your damn feet. Just breathe it all in, this whole planet and more, all the life anywhere, and were part of it! SOMETHING has to beVimes gesticulates his optimism with wild strokes, but Rat has focused on the sedan, still idling in place. RAT What is that car still doing there? And anyway I told you, those arent really stars. (CONTINUED)

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Vimes is more than a little annoyed at the interruption. He was on a roll. VIMES What? Huh. Is it still running? RAT Where is this guy? He shouldnt just leave his car on. Rat rises from the lawn and walks toward the car. Vimes, still sprawled on the ground, stares up into space. His eyes are open, clear. From nowhere, White approaches and crouches next to him. WHITE You bore him too. Vimes breath catches. He does not blink. WHITE He says hes your friend, but we know hes only waiting for anything more interesting. Vimes brow creases. White vanishes off-screen as Rat approaches again. RAT Dude, get up. VIMES (eyes breaking contact with space) What? RAT Were going. VIMES Where? Rat approaches the car in what he hopes is a surreptitious fashion. Vimes follows. Rat opens the front passenger door and, with a last glance over his shoulder, crawls inside. VIMES Rat! What the hell! RAT Get in! Get in!

(CONTINUED)

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Vimes is cautious next to the eager Rat, who clambers across to the drivers side. For a few moments the car sits motionless. It moves forward several feet and then stops. Laughter rolls out from inside. It swerves into the middle of the street and then stops. The laughter is louder. The car swerves gently down the street, away from Rats house. INT. CAR, AFTERNOON Vimes is asleep in the passengers seat and Rat is passed out along the three back seats. We see the clock: 3:40. Sunlight pours into the car. Bright, beautiful trees ring the view from the window. Vimes wakes up, coughing. VIMES What... Rat, what is... Rat? RAT Hngh. Hhhgh. Hhwhat? VIMES Rat, where are we? Get up. This is serious. Rat cases their surroundings. RAT I dont know. The woods? VIMES Brilliant, Sherlock, but what are we doing here? Whose car is this? RAT Oh. Oh shit. VIMES Your neighbor. Oh man. RAT This, this is not good. VIMES Shit. Okay. Shit. So we stole a car. How bad is that? RAT Also, driving under the influence. We did that.

(CONTINUED)

CONTINUED:

26.

VIMES No, that one was all you. RAT Fair. Uh. What now? Lets see. The first thing we do isEXT. WOODS, AFTERNOON The car sits on a bed of fallen leaves in some nowhere woods. Rat emerges from the car. RAT -we exit the stolen vehicle. VIMES (OS) Hey! Vimes clambers out as Rat blinks in the harsh sunlight. RAT Holy shit Ive got a hangover. Ugh. Vimes notices a him fidgeting with his pants. VIMES And a boner, apparently. Is that why were here, Rat? Criminal activity arouses you? RAT No, look, I just woke up, its morning wood. VIMES Its the afternoon. RAT But it is the woods. VIMES Rat, this is serious, weRAT Vimes. Shut up. Hangover. Vimes prattles to assuage his nerves. VIMES Yes, your hangover is definitely the biggest problem right now, not the stolen vehicle. And while were (MORE) (CONTINUED)

CONTINUED:

27.

VIMES (contd) getting you the hair of the dog, would you like something to take care of your erection too? Coors and whores? Becks and sex? Um... Vodka-Orangina and vagina? Rat groans and sags, rubbing his forehead, pausing again. RAT Grain alcohol and a glory hole. Ugh. Okay, okay. I think you shamed me flaccid. Im sorry. Focus on the stolen car. How did this even happen? VIMES You got bored and you did something stupid. Like always. And I followed you. Like always. RAT Im sorry, Seb. I just- when I get bored I get this itch, and even if I know somethings wrong, I still have to do it. I cant stand boredom, and theres so much of it, and my common sense just cant keep up. VIMES Yes, and normally thats what makes your antics so endearing, but this is serious. Fuck I wish I was high. RAT I- wait. VIMES What? RAT What if the owner isnt even mad? VIMES Rat... RAT No, what if he just wants his car back? Look at it. Its fine. We should just give it back to him.

(CONTINUED)

CONTINUED: VIMES Yes. Well just pull into his driveway in his stolen car. No flaws in that plan. RAT We leave the car here. We go back to the house, case the situation, and if he hasnt made it a big criminal issue, well just drive his car back and apologize. VIMES Its a long walk back, Im hungry and hungover, and its going to get dark soon. No, no, before you say it, I dont have a better idea. I just wanted to get my complaints in ahead of time. And for the record, this sucks and its your fault. EXT. NEIGHBORS HOUSE, DUSK

28.

Rat and Vimes turn onto Rats street. They have been walking for some time. The boys pause to stare up at the neighbors house. RAT Well, at least today hasnt been boring. VIMES You sure we cant pop in to your house for a quick joint? They walk past their house and directly to the neighbors, outside of which the black sedan is still parked. VIMES Its just- Im nervous. Approaching the door, Rat knocks. RAT Relax. Itll go fine. VIMES Your high hopes have been noted, and will be quoted mockingly when he turns us in to the cops. Rat knocks a bit harder this time.

(CONTINUED)

CONTINUED:

29.

RAT Yeah, yeah. VIMES Hey, the doors loose. The lock and doorknob have been busted open. Rat lightly pushes the door and it swings inward. VIMES Okay, didnt expect to say this so soon, but you just, you really called it with that "fine" business. Rat glances at him and heads inside. INT. NEIGHBORS HOUSE, DUSK Vimes follows Rat through the doorway. They take a few cautious steps into the house, quietly hoping for a sound from within. They hear a chair move. RAT Hello? The boys exit the atrium and head through the living room towards the noise. Rounding the corner, they see two figures and freeze, too stunned to move. One, who we will learn is SPIEGLEMAN (40s), Rats neighbor, slumps against the back of his chair. Cuts and bruises pattern his body, and his neck hangs at a sickening angle. Seated opposite him with a grey hoodie shadowing his face is PASTOR PETE. He sits facing the body, leaning over the back of his backwards chair. In his hand is a stick of celery. Other than the dead body and his companion, the kithcen is as ordinary as can be. Vimes lets out a small, strange squeal just as Pastor Pete raises the celery to his mouth. Pastor Petes head turns slowly, like his mind is somewhere else, stuck halfway in to biting the celery. He sees the boys and a second passes. He finishes his bite. There is a moments pause.

30. EXT. RATS STREET, DUSK The boys come howling out of the neighbors house. Vimes starts to veer towards Rats house, but Rat grabs his sleeve. RAT No! Keep running! They sprint out of sight. EXT. CUL-DE-SAC, DUSK The boys finally stop, completely spent. Rat collapses to the ground, Vimes leans on his knees. They struggle for breath. RAT (with every breath) Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. VIMES Oh my god. RAT What the fuck was that? VIMES That was a murder. That was a fucking murder. RAT Oh. Fuck. VIMES Cut it out. RAT Fuck. VIMES I said knock it the fuck off! Rat manages to sit up. RAT Alright. Im sorry man. Im just... what is this. What just happened? VIMES I dont know. Why did you tell me to keep running?

(CONTINUED)

CONTINUED:

31.

RAT That guy doesnt know who we are. If we ran to my house, hed know where to find us. VIMES Holy shit. Good thinking. RAT Thank you. Fuck. Sorry. Did he look kind of familiar to you? VIMES Which? The dead guy or the killer? RAT No, the dead guy was my neighbor, I mean the other guy. Vimes shakes his head no. VIMES We have to tell the cops. Rat. We have to tell the cops. RAT Seb... I dont think we can. VIMES What? Why not? RAT We stole the dead guys car. VIMES No, you stole his car. RAT No, we did. Its my fault, I know, but still. Shit. Im sorry, but if we call the cops and they dont find anything, theyre gonna think it was us. VIMES If they dont find anything? You mean other than the human filet sitting in kitchen? RAT The guy knows we saw him. If he covers his tracks, which, if hes got an ounce of intelligence, hes (MORE) (CONTINUED)

CONTINUED: RAT (contd) probably doing this very fucking second - were pretty fucked. VIMES Well just tell them we didnt do it! RAT Yes, because police always take drug dealers at their word. Vimes groans in frustration. VIMES Damn it! Okay. Okay. Then what are we going to do? RAT Were going to catch him. Us. They sit for a moment, shoulder to shoulder. VIMES Rat, I know I said it already, but that did not go fine. RAT No it did not. And I know I already asked, but did the killer, like, remind you of anyone? VIMES No, why? RAT Ive got a nagging feeling Ive seen him before. VIMES Maybe. This town isnt exactly huge. Maybe hes a local? RAT Yeah. Silver lining, though. VIMES What? RAT Theres no way this will be boring. A smile wiggles onto Rats face.

32.

(CONTINUED)

CONTINUED:

33.

RAT Were going to get this guy, you and me, I can feel it. And we start right now. Best case scenario, hes still at the scene of the crime. Lets go. EXT. RATS BACK YARD, DUSK Rat and Vimes drop stealthily over an adjoining fence into Rats back yard. They glance at the neighbors house as they dart indoors. INT. RATS KITCHEN, DUSK Vimes looks at an angle through the window. Rat approaches from behind. The boys are tense and quiet. RAT Found the binoculars. VIMES I dont see him. I can see into the kitchen but hes not there. Rat uses the binoculars to scan the house. RAT Yeah, nothing in any of the other rooms. VIMES Maybe hes gone? RAT That black cars gone and the front doors been closed. We werent exactly subtle leaving; that probably scared him off. He lowers the binoculars and reaches to a rack of cooking knives on the counter, pulling out a large, sharp blade. Vimes shows trepidation. RAT I said "probably."

34. EXT. RATS STREET, DUSK The boys appear as casual as possible in the brief walk to their neighbors door. They check, but no cars are coming. Silently, they slip through the door. INT. NEIGHBORS KITCHEN, DUSK The kitchen still clean aside from the body still slumped to the chair. Spiegleman is (was) almost bald but clinging to his remaining hairs. The body is too skinny, the skin too waxy, the bones protruding at odd angles: qualities similar to a methhead. The various injuries only compound his strange appearance. Vimes stands behind the body, staring at a a hole in his spine unlike the other cuts and bruises, cylindrical and bloodless. Vimes glances over his shoulder, but his eyes snap back to the corpse, to the hole in the neck. White approaches. WHITE A whole life led to here. Vimes mouth thins to a tight line. WHITE Your whole life wont be much different. White fades offscreen. Vimes darts a glance in the empty space where he once stood. Rat approaches from elsewhere in the house, wearing gloves and carrying both his knife and a clear plastic bag full of money. RAT Hes gone, like I thought. Probably took off the second after we did. This doesnt add up at all. Rat places the knife on the kitchen counter. RAT The whole house has been turned upside down. He leans over the body. RAT Huh, whats with that hole in his neck? Its... weird. Vimes, with some effort, overcomes his trance. (CONTINUED)

CONTINUED:

35.

VIMES You- hey, whats with the cash? RAT I was thinking "Nest Egg" until I looked at the label on the bag. Nodont grab it, fingerprints. Look. The label, in bold black marker, reads "BRIBE CASH". VIMES Is this a joke? RAT Nothing seems to be stolen, Only one room looks like someone was digging through it, and thats where I found this. VIMES Thats... bizarre. RAT All I know is, this guy wasnt killed for money. Elsewise this would be gone. VIMES He had to have known he was in some kind of trouble, if he kept a bag of bribe money on hand. RAT Come on, Ill show you where I found it. INT. NEIGHBORS STUDY, NIGHT Rat pokes his head through the door. A worn leather chair, one leg threatening to give way, sits before a desk coated in files. Two cabinets rest adjacent, their drawers open and files emptied onto the floor. Someone has been through this room. VIMES Quite a mess. The perp clearly was after something. RAT Perp?

(CONTINUED)

CONTINUED:

36.

VIMES This is the closest Ill get to living out CSI. Let me have my fun. I need it. RAT Alright, alright. He lifts a page from the desk. As the boys talk, they leaf through the many piles of papers, discs, and folders. RAT Look, the letterhead. Megacorp. VIMES Shit, thats where Jerry works. RAT And weve got a last name... Spiegleman? VIMES Looks like it, the names all over these other letters. Man, this is some dense technobabble. RAT "Memo: The circuits in the second module keep overheating, recommend hardwiring..." VIMES I have no idea what any of this means. RAT Maybe Jerry can help? VIMES But still. We have no motive, no clues, nothing. RAT And its late and I havent eaten since yesterday. VIMES Me neither. RAT Vimes. We can figure this out.

(CONTINUED)

CONTINUED: VIMES Okay. RAT Anyway, no use trying to think on an empty stomach. Some Diner Diner magic will be just the boost we need.

37.

Rat shuffles some of the papers and discs into a folder and heads for the door, "Bribe Cash" still in hand. As Vimes turns to exit, his foot bumps against an empty case on the floor. The case is black, cushioned on the inside, rock-hard on the outside. The Megacorp logo is pasted all over. VIMES Ow. What...? RAT A case? VIMES Well, duh, but whats it for? RAT Whatever it was, it came from Megacorp and its gone now. VIMES Pretty fancy case, it mustve been kinda important. RAT Look, youre starving, Im starving. Lets go eat. All this will be here when we get back. Vimes lingers in the room as Rat makes for the exit. RAT Come on, dude, Zoell be there. Vimes shifts his attention and follows. INT. DINER, NIGHT The boys are in the same booth. The black night makes a wall of the wide window. Strange music plays. The diner is mostly empty, and the silence between the boys is heavy. Zoe finishes with an elderly customer, ETHEL (70s), and comes to take their order; shes happy to see them but treads lightly around the silence.

(CONTINUED)

CONTINUED:

38.

ZOE Back again! You guys are getting to be regulars! Like Ethel over there; Ive seen that shining face once a day since I started. Zoe gestures to the old woman, who notices the movement. ETHEL You hussy, stop cruising for sex and get my waffles! Zoe makes a complex peace sign toward the old woman. ZOE One love, Ethel! She turns back to the boys, who have let the outburst go unnoticed. ZOE Whats up with you guys tonight? Somethings afoot. Racontez-moi lhistoire! The boys look at each other; neither knows whether to speak or not. ZOE Fine. Dont tell me. But you have to speak eventually, otherwise I cant take your order. VIMES Actually, how about this- we dont tell you what happened, but you sit down and have a crack at cheering us up? I know, a pathetic request to make of a charming waitress, butZoe gives him a wry smile. ZOE Hey, whatever you say, if you tip me well enough. She bounces into the booth. VIMES So hows senior year going?

(CONTINUED)

CONTINUED:

39.

ZOE Oh, you know, college apps. Final stretch, though. RAT I do not envy you. Parents breathing down your neck? She shrugs. ZOE Nothing I cant handle. I know how to sneak past the eyes of authority. RAT Speaking of which, Seb, we should probably cut back on your business for now. ZOE Youre still dealing? You told me youd stop if I quit stress-smoking cigarettes! VIMES Did you quit? ZOE Often. VIMES Well there you go. Plus, its just some money on the side. ZOE No, it isnt. You could get in a lot of trouble and I dont want you in jail. Sorry, sorry, Im supposed to cheer you up, not lecture you. I probably sound like that late-night infomercial priest-guy... whats hisRat has been stuck by a sudden, awful realization. RAT Pastor Pete. ZOE Yeah, thats-

(CONTINUED)

CONTINUED:

40.

RAT Uh, Zoe, uh, Id like to order after all. Could I get the Megamelt? Vimes? Anything? You know what, 2 of those, quickly please, we havent eaten all day. The flood of words sends Zoe headed for the kitchen in a renewed state of confusion. VIMES Rat, whatRAT I knew I recognized him. VIMES What? RAT Youre not going to believe this. VIMES I was there! What am I not going to believe? RAT It was him. Pastor Pete. He killed Spiegleman. VIMES Wow. Okay. Um. That is hard to believe. Youre sure it wasnt just, like, a regular dude? RAT Right, regular dudes are always killing people and leaving the money. Everything about the murder is already weird, I know, I just know it was him. The music changes to something more fun and lively. Zoe approaches with the two sandwiches. RAT For now, lets enjoy our food and the fine female company that comes with it. Hearing this last part, Zoe smiles and sticks her tongue out at Rat.

41.

EXT. MEGACORP OFFICES, MORNING Jerry waits nervously as the boys cross the parking lot to where he stands. The boys are in ill-fitting suits, horribly mismatched. RAT Jerry! Hows the job? JERRY Um... guys, I got your message, whatThe boys do not slow for Jerry, grabbing him by the shoulders and sweeping him into their gait. VIMES Excellent! So youll give us the tour, the ol once-over? RAT Last time we talked, wow, I have to say my interest was piqued. VIMES You said it. Cant wait to see what its like in such a high powered office, with my good buddy, Jerry! JERRY Its just, todays not such a great day, wereRAT Pishposh! Look at us, were camouflaged, well be good little chaps like our parents taught us. VIMES Utterly unseen and unheard! INT. MEGACORP OFFICES, MORNING The offices are austere and lifeless, possessing a strange asymmetricality that puts all visitors in a subtle state of confusion. The three breeze through the door, Jerrys attempts at slowing down repeatedly unsuccessful. RAT Wow! Wouldya look at this workspace!

(CONTINUED)

CONTINUED: VIMES So ergonomic!

42.

They stop abrutly and swerve to admire some plaques on the wall. Rat detaches his arm from the group. VIMES Now, Jer, Im seeing some awards here. What can you tell me about... Jennifer Sanchez, "Most Efficient Stapler," 2007? And please, preface any remarks with a rating between 1 and Foxy. JERRY Her? Uh... foxy? As Jerry is bewildered, Rat spins out of view to explore the office. INT. MEGACORP CUBICLES, MORNING Rat slinks sideways out of a corridor, shifting into a smooth normal gate. He lifts a muffin from a snack table and takes a bite, then waves to a passing drone, who manages a belated response. Down the aisle, two CBC AGENTS (30s, muscular) turn the corner: they are large, well-paid, professional toughs. Their suits are sharper than the drab office workers around them. Rat turns into a cubicle. Seated is ELIZABETH (early 40s, large), surprised. RAT Im gonna need those action items on my desk by noon. ELIZABETH Im sorry? RAT Well roundtable with HR before we dovetail it in with the new paradigm. Any problems with the CBC? Rat checks over his shoulder for the spooks. They seem to be gone. ELIZABETH Oh, um, well theyve mostly just been in the directors office, but I heard something about Spieglemans-

(CONTINUED)

CONTINUED: RAT No good, no good. going to have the ping the ol director on this one, in her office at...? His expression prompts a response from Elizabeth. ELIZABETH Room 401? Top floor? RAT Correct! And heres your prize! Rat tosses her the muffin and twirls away. The muffin bounces off of Elizabeths bewildered face. INT. MEGACORP BREAKROOM, MORNING

43.

Vimes and Jerry share some coffee at an octagonal table stained with the rings of previous cups. Vimes fiddles with his tie, glancing over his shoulder at every drone with apprehension. VIMES Man, this joints a jumpin. JERRY Yeah, one of our project leads has gone missing, and his project with him. Its serious stuff. VIMES What do you guys even do here? JERRY Oh, you know Megacorp, got their hands in everything. This was some kind of government contract work; you know, the Communications and Broadcast guys? The ones behind all those public service ads and TV and stuff? VIMES That late night stuff, yeah. JERRY Weve actually got one of those old commercial guys around the building. Apparently hes kind of a bigshot now? Still wears his priest collar, though, which is weird.

(CONTINUED)

CONTINUED:

44.

VIMES Wait, Pastor Pete? Here? A door opens and White enters. As the boys converse, White proceeds to make himself a cup of coffee and drink it with casual indifference. JERRY Yeah, I tried to get him to sign something for me, but nothing doing. Those CBC guys are all busy hunting down Spiegleman. VIMES Oh, the project lead? JERRY Dont get me wrong, the guys some kind of computer wizard, but hes nutso. Especially recently. Spacing out, talking to the air, just a general wackjob. Vimes glances at White and White waves to him. INT. MEGACORP 4TH FLOOR, MORNING Rat pokes his head out of the stairwell, then his foot and body follow. He walks down the hall to room 401. His stride slows to a casual pace and he glances with apparent disinterest into the room as he passes. Pastor Pete is seated in the room (a professional affair, big desk, a few seats for visitors, one of which is occupied by Pastor Pete), looking out the window. He wears a suit similar to the CBC agents, but he has an ecclesiastical collar on. Rat makes it past the door and freezes. A nearby elevator dings and Rat continues walking, pretending to inspect a waterfountain with great interest. The fountain is between the elevator and 401. A bulletin board hangs over the waterfountain. From the elevator emerge DIRECTOR WANDA SCHNEIDER (40s) in professional attire and the two CBC agents escorting her. SCHNEIDER If we knew where it was, wed tell you! You think I like having my office turned upside down? Immediately after they pass Rat, he tears a handful of papers from their fixed positions on the board and pretends to review them as he follows the three. The two agents have (CONTINUED)

CONTINUED:

45.

holes in the backs of their necks similar to Spiegleman. Partway through the conversation, we see Rat register this fact with mild confusion. AGENT 1 Sorry, maam, its just that recovery of the machine is top priority, andSCHNEIDER Of course it is! I just dont know why youre bothering me. Find Spiegleman. The machinell be with him, wherever that schizos hiding. AGENT 2 Of course, maam, only weve found him and the machines notSCHNEIDER What? Where is he? AGENT 1 We tried to hold him for questioning, but he escaped, maam. AGENT 2 Terribly sorry, maam. SCHNEIDER Ridiculous. A fat old nutcase getting past you guys? Im going to lodge a complaint with your superiors, thisThe trio enter 401. Rat accelerates towards the staircase, unnoticed. INT. MEGACORP BREAKROOM, MORNING White is still sipping his coffee and staring at Vimes. Jerry rambles on and on. JERRY -and he was always going on about utopia and all this other stuff. Hes, like, a middle manager? A genius of a guy, but still, it was odd. No one could figure him out, so I guess no ones that surprised that hes up and vanished.

(CONTINUED)

CONTINUED:

46.

VIMES And have you found the project? JERRY If we had, those CBC guys wouldnt still be here. WeRat busts through the breakroom doors. White is gone. RAT Time to leave. Lets go, lets go. Vimes is only too ready to go. VIMES You know hes here, right? RAT Almost ran right into him. JERRY What? Rat, theres no running in the office, this is a workRAT Jerry, shut up, thanks for your help but shut up. Rat and Vimes hurry from the office. INT. MEGACORP 4TH FLOOR, MORNING We see the boys scurrying to their car. Pastor Pete stares down at them. He recognizes the witnesses to the murder. PASTOR PETE Well. INT. RATS CAR, DAY The boys let their pulse rates quiet as they drive back to Rats house. Music flows out of the stereo system. VIMES This is absurd. I dont know what it is, but I know its absurd. RAT Alright, what do you know? And what do I know?

(CONTINUED)

CONTINUED:

47.

VIMES The dead guy worked for Megacorp, the killer works for the CBC, and now both of them are working together to find the dead guy. RAT Not the dead guy. What he was working on. And they havent. VIMES But why was he killed? WhyRAT Not yet. We need to find out more. We can investigate more when we get backEXT. RATS STREET, DAY A black car without license plates sits outside the neighbors house. A CBC spook emerges from inside. Rats car turns onto the street. INT. RATS CAR, DAY RAT Or not. Fuck. He drives past his house without stopping. VIMES Well, what now? Where do weRAT Ive got it. I know where the machine is. VIMES Wait, what? How? RAT Think. If the CBC still cant find the machine, and theyve been all over his house, where else would it be? What isnt at his house anymore? VIMES Jesus Christ, the car! I forgot about the car!

48.

EXT. WOODS, AFTERNOON Spieglemans car has not been disturbed. Rat and Vimes approach cautiously across the carpet of leaves. No one is around, but the boys are still acutely aware of the consequences of getting caught. RAT I think I left the keys in the ignition. VIMES Smooth move. RAT Right, cause the coons are going to steal it and take it for a joy ride. Reaching into the car, he pulls free the keys. Vimes stands on the opposite side of the car, by the passenger seat. RAT Check the glovebox first. Maybe theres something. Vimes ducks into the car as Rat crosses to the trunk, fiddling with the keys. VIMES Woah. RAT What? VIMES Definitely something. Vimes emerges from the car holding a Colt Python, a magnum with a 4" barrel and six-round cylinder. He spins the cylinder. VIMES And its loaded. Six shots. RAT Is that all that was in there? VIMES That and some duct tape.

(CONTINUED)

CONTINUED:

49.

RAT Well, keep the gun. Couldnt hurt, I guess. He struggles with unlocking the trunk. RAT Or it could. I suppose thats the point of a gun. IAs he swings the trunk open, he freezes. Vimes moves to him. VIMES What? What is it? Inside the trunk is a slick black cube, 2.5x2.5x2.5, with a long, thick cable rising from the exact center of the top end. At the end of the cable is a complex and sinister needle, thick (for a needle) and hollow. Blood has dried all along the edge of the needle. VIMES What the fuck is this? RAT Dunno, but theyre all after it. VIMES But what is it? Is that blood? RAT I dont know. The boys are at a loss. VIMES Maybe theres something on this in the papers we got from Spieglemans office? RAT Might be. First, we get this car back to town. VIMES Cant leave it at home. CBCs on stakeout. RAT The diner? Vimes nods in assent.

50.

EXT. DINER PARKING LOT, AFTERNOON Vimes parks Spieglemans car and Rat parks his. Zoe leans against the walls of the diner, eyes blank and cigarette in hand. She sees Vimes and crushes the cigarette, hoping he didnt notice. VIMES Hey, Zoe. Mind if we leave a car here? ZOE What, no lecture? VIMES Huh? Oh. Tars bad for you, smoking kills, etc, etc. ZOE Youve convinced me; I shall never touch the noxious stuff again. VIMES Sorry. Long day. ZOE How longs the car going to be here? Dont you guys go back to school soon? Rat laughs. RAT Day after tomorrow. Wednesday. Probably. ZOE You dont know when? RAT Dont know if Im going back. Zoe is worried, but the boys are so out of whack that she does not press the issue. VIMES Hey, is everything alright? ZOE With me? Ive never seen you two like this. Whats happened?

(CONTINUED)

CONTINUED:

51.

VIMES No, you only smoke when youre stressed. Rat coughs. RAT Im going to, uh- eh. He shrugs and busies himself with shifting the black cube from Spieglemans car to his own, leaving Vimes and Zoe to talk together. VIMES What is it? ZOE College. My parents dont want to pay for it, and I cant seem to get any aid. VIMES Shit. ZOE I hate this job and this stupid town. Its not even like Im dying to go to college, I just- I want out. I dont to be stuck here, Seb. VIMES You wont be. Youll find a way. Ill help, if I can think of something. ZOE Thanks. Rat has finished. RAT Vimes! Vayamos! Vimes gives Zoe a last smile. VIMES Come on, chin up, otherwise the stressll kill you before the cigarettes, and then Ill look like a damn fool!

(CONTINUED)

CONTINUED: ZOE You already look like a damn fool. INT. RATS BASEMENT, LATE AFTERNOON

52.

The boys sit on the sofa and stare down at different, cryptic papers. On the table lies the heap of papers Rat salvaged from Spieglemans office. In unison, the boys stop and stare down at the papers, then look to their right where the machine rests on a comfy armchair. They look back at the papers in their hands. RAT So. VIMES I got nothing. RAT I think I understand less than when I started. VIMES How about we try one of the discs? Maybe theyre relevant. RAT Eeney-meeny-miney-moe! Rat reaches down. One of them is in a case, labelled "Spiegleman VRX-IFU Progress". RAT Ba-bingo. He crosses to the TV and pops it in the DVD player. The screen goes blue for some seconds. ThenINT. INTERROGATION ROOM, DAY The walls are clean and white. Spiegleman sits facing the camera at a clean metal table; he is the same man Rat and Vimes found, only less skinny, in fresh work clothes, and with a respectable head of hair. EXAMINER (OS) Subject: Spiegleman, test on the VRX Irreality Feedback Unit. Unit has been successfully powered up, connected, disconnected, and powered down. Subject has had no health complications. (CONTINUED)

CONTINUED: SPIEGLEMAN I told you, didnt I? It works. My machine is going to make us filthy rich. Well corner the market on commercial reality sims before it even exists! INT. RATS BASEMENT, LATE AFTERNOON The boys stare at the TV. They share a quizzical look. INT. INTERROGATION ROOM, DAY

53.

A new section of the tape. Spieglemans haircut has lost its firm respectability and his clothes are messier, but otherwise he is unchanged. EXAMINER (OS) VRX-IFU power down successful. Trial two complete. Subject has been exposed directly to IFU program, health normal. SPIEGLEMAN Health normal? Hell, I feel great! Put that down in the report. PASTOR PETE (OS) What was it like? Whatd you see? SPIEGLEMAN Whatever I wanted! Thats the beauty of it. Creates a feedback loop on human desire: the virtual reality bends however you want! PASTOR PETE (OS) Any limits? SPIEGLEMAN None. I enjoyed a fine meal with a Brazilian swimsuit model, but she couldve been Portuguese or Swedish or Emperor Hirohito. Anything goes. PASTOR PETE (OS) How professional. SPIEGLEMAN Hey, its my fantasy, I dont mind living it out on company time.

(CONTINUED)

CONTINUED:

54.

PASTOR PETE (OS) And youre sure youre alright? Spiegleman holds up his hand. SPIEGLEMAN Im a bit shaky, but hey, thats just the adrenaline. It was a rush. Pastor Pete leans on screen to examine his hand. INT. RATS BASEMENT, EVENING Boys still facing TV. They are surprised by Pastor Petes appearance. RAT They worked together beforehand? INT. INTERROGATION ROOM, DAY Further into the tape. Spieglemans face has gone sallow, his hair thin. Pastor Pete stands over his right shoulder. EXAMINER (OS) Trial 14 complete. SubjectSPIEGLEMAN 14 damn trials! Whats the hold up? Im fine, the machines fine, lets just get it out there. He tries to turn to face Pastor Pete. Pete turns him back towards the camera. PASTOR PETE Face forward, please. Weve got to make sure its as safe as you claim. The CBC isnt in the business of killing just yet. As he talks, he crosses to the Spieglemans other side, all the while behind him. SPIEGLEMAN Hey, fine by me. It gets better the more you use it. Today it was justpleasure. Hard to describe, like nothing... I just dont understand why were not sharing the love! You should see the lights in there; (MORE) (CONTINUED)

CONTINUED: SPIEGLEMAN (contd) they were so beautiful. I was so happy. INT. RATS BASEMENT, NIGHT The boys sit in rapt silence. INT. INTERROGATION ROOM, DAY

55.

Even further in. The room is slightly different; the machine is in the center on the table and Spiegleman is facing away from it. The chord on its top snakes out of the machine and into the hole at the back of his neck, where it burrows into his spine. We see his face. His eyes are closed and his breathing heavy, but his mouth is stretched in a wide, benevolent smile. Exctasy rolls across his face in waves and tears begin to pour from his eyes, but always, he smiles. The tape cuts to a post-session examination. Spiegleman is a mess. He is starving and his eyes are mad. He approaches baldness. His clothes have not been washed. His eyes cant focus on anything and his motor functions have become loose and imprecise. The box is gone from the room. EXAMINER (OS) Trial 35 complete. Subject health a concern. Machine functioning flawlessly. SPIEGLEMAN I want to go back in. The white light... I felt it all around me, inside me. I was... so warm. EXAMINER (OS) Subject continues to refuse food and resist sleep. No known cause. Subject fixation on "The White Light" continues. SPIEGLEMAN The light? No, where is it? I need more. What is this, this cold air, this world... where is the light? It is warm and full and happy. There is such... pleasure in the light, unlike anything you can possibly know. Where is the light? Spiegleman starts to beat on the table and himself, tearing at his hair. (CONTINUED)

CONTINUED:

56.

SPIEGLEMAN Send me back! I need to go back! Its my machine, send me back! Two CBC suits emerge from off-screen to hold him down as Pastor Pete injects a sedative from behind. PASTOR PETE Evidently, further tinkering is required. Pity. I do wonder what he saw in there... INT. RATS BASEMENT, NIGHT The tape ends and the screen goes blue again. The boys are dumbfounded. VIMES I... what? RAT What the fuck? They look at the machine, and then back at the screen. Vimes shakes his head and stands up. VIMES Fuck this. I have been sober way too long to deal with this. RAT After that? This case just hit a new height of WTF, of balls-out weirdness and excitement, and you want to get high? VIMES Its pretty clear that neither of us have any idea whats actually going on. Were in over our heads. RAT What? Were notVIMES Look, whatevers going on here, it doesnt make any goddamn sense. Lets just call the police. Well talk to them, get it sorted-

(CONTINUED)

CONTINUED:

57.

RAT But this is huge! Now more than ever, we need toVIMES To what? To find the killer? We did that. Do you even care about Spiegleman? RAT Dude. Of course I care. Where is this coming from? VIMES Sorry. Ive just been- Im in a weird place now. You know that hallucination I mentioned? RAT The guy in white? VIMES Its more frequent now, even when Im sober. I cant shake him. Its like hes always somewhere, nearby, and now were dodging the CBC too, and... RAT I... okay? VIMES Nevermind. Forget it. RAT Alright. VIMES I just want to go back to normal. RAT Normal? He stands and picks up the machine. RAT Follow me.

58.

INT. RATS HOUSE, LIVING ROOM, DAY Rat places the machine next to a desktop computer and motions for Vimes to sit facing the computer. Vimes complies. RAT Okay. Go to Google Maps. VIMES What? RAT Look. Im going to explain something to you, and I need you to go to Google Maps. This thing here, its a Way Out machine. It gives you a way out. VIMES Okay. Explain. RAT Look at the maps, and look at the street outside. All the streets are like this one, knitted into a smart, safe grid. They planned it all out before we even got here. Only its just so boring. They built this place on rules and you cant get around them, theyre too deep. VIMES So we go somewhere else. Big deal. RAT Where? You can see the whole world with the click of your finger. Ive looked. Your options are wilderness, which is even more boring, or settling for this endless maze. Only its not a maze. Its too easy, just a grid, but then its also too hard, impossibly hard, because theres no exit. What do you even call that? A maze with no way out. VIMES Man, you cant look at life that way, theres-

(CONTINUED)

CONTINUED:

59.

RAT I know, I know. Maybe thats just how the worlds gotta be, and I dont fit. But I dont need to worry about that anymore. This thing we have found is the Way Out. It is an exit to anywhere you can ever want to go. Everyone can get what they want and no one gets hurt. VIMES But it isnt real. RAT No, I guess it isnt. Nothings perfect. Real or not, this thing is going to change the world. VIMES It drove that guy mad. RAT So its not done yet. Whatever. It will be. And when it isA sharp knock at the front door interrupts Rat. The boys are startled. Rat pulls the Magnum from his back pocket as Vimes stands to attention. They edge towards the atrium. INT. RATS HOUSE, ATRIUM, EVENING The boys stop short of the door. VIMES You open it. RAT What? No, you do it, Ill cover you. VIMES Youve got the gun! YouFrom the other side of the doorZOE (OS) Guys, I can hear you. Open up. She bangs once more. Rat deftly stows the gun away as Vimes swings the door open.

(CONTINUED)

CONTINUED:

60.

VIMES Hey Zoe! Fancy seeing you here. ZOE Yes. What are the chance that Id run into you two at the house youre staying in. VIMES Right. Okay. Come in. She steps over the threshold. Rat and Vimes are still on edge. ZOE Look, I only stopped by to let you know some suits were scoping out the diner and that car you left, so you can relax and stop being peeing yourselves over whatever it is youre trying to hide. RAT The CBC? Shit. Found us already. ZOE Im not saying you guys have to tell me whats going on, but... I heard you mention a gun. The governments poking around. Im worried. The boys share a glance. VIMES WeRAT Ill show you. VIMES Rat, we shouldnt get her involved. This is dangerous. RAT Psshaw. Come on. He leads her into the living room and Vimes follows.

61.

INT. RATS HOUSE, LIVING ROOM, DAY Vimes relates their tribulations to Zoe, who cant decide how to react. Zoe sits on the sofa, Vimes in a chair facing her, and Rat is on the computer in the background. VIMES ...and thats about what we know. The machines there, if youre curious. He points to the machine, which idles by Rat and the computer. ZOE I honestly cant tell if you two are just really, really high. VIMES Scouts honor. A government agency run by an ex-infomercial host is hunting us for a next-level virtual realityd evice. ZOE I can see why you were... hesitant to tell me. If I hadnt seen those CBC guys at the diner, I probably wouldnt have believed a word. VIMES I wasnt expecting you to believe now. ZOE Im still not all the way there. This whole things a mess. VIMES Yeah, and I have no idea where we should go next. I was telling Rat, we should just throw in the towel, go back to school, try to forgetZOE Give up? Come on, Sebastian, youre really going to let this lie? VIMES I-

(CONTINUED)

CONTINUED:

62.

RAT ...and done! You two sit tight. Ive got an errand to run. VIMES What? Now? Dude, its like, after midnight. RAT You said it yourself, we dont have a next move, so I thought Id extend our opponent the courtesy of making one. Rat checks the cynliders on his gun. Satisfied, he heads for the door. VIMES WaitRAT Just stay put, Ill be back in ten. And if you decide to root your flute and toot in her chute, try not to leave stains. Call me a prude, but itd be rude if you blew nude glue on my sofa, dude. He exits. Vimes and Zoe exchange a glance and then check the computer. The message "Congratulations! Your new email address is ready for use!" is open in a browser window. ZOE Well, he didnt have to be so lewd. EXT. DINER PARKING LOT, NIGHT Rat parks on the street near the diner. Everything is quiet; the diner is still open, but the only cars aside from Spieglemans in the parking lot are in employee spaces. Rat still looks about for any sign of the CBC. He stalks up to Spieglemans car, scribbles furiously in a notepad, tears off a note, a sticks it under the windshield wiper. We see the note. One line reads: "dear_pastor_pete_we_have_your_machine@gmail.com"; Below: "well be waiting." From the diner, Agent 1 emerges. Rat hides behind Spieglemans car and wathces him pull out a cigarette and light it. When the agent does nothing further, Rat sneaks away from the parking lot.

63.

INT. RATS LIVING ROOM, NIGHT Zoe and Vimes relax on the couch. Working their way into stuff Vimes puts on the music ZOE Sebastian Vimes, are you hitting on me? Vimes shrugs. VIMES Maybe I am. Theyre sitting next to each other on the couch, but Vimes stares at his hands. VIMES I dont want to pressure you into anything, thats it. ZOE SebVIMES No, listen. It wont crush me if you say no. I mean, it will, but not permanently; Ill move on. But for the record, its only because it wouldnt kill me to settle for someone in my league, not because I think I can find someone better than you. Vimes, although calmed by the truth, tenses when INT. RATS CAR, NIGHT Rat drives back toward his house when his phone barks to life. He answers. RAT Yello?

64.

INT. RATS LIVING ROOM, NIGHT Zoe looks, worried, at Vimes as he talks to Rat over the phone. They are bent over the computer. VIMES Hey, dude, you got an email? On that "we have your machine"-yada-whatever? INT. RATS CAR, NIGHT RAT Excellent! Whats it say? Does he want to meet? INT. RATS LIVING ROOM, NIGHT We see the email itself. Sent from "unlisted@cbc.gov" and bears only one line of text, 49 Bowdler Avenue. VIMES Its just an address. "49 Bowdler Avenue." Rat, this is from a CBC email. This is serious. What are you planning? INT. RATS CAR, NIGHT His new destination confirmed, Rat spins the car in a u-turn, taking off in the opposite direction. RAT Bowdler? Cool. Relax, man, Ill be fine. I just thought Id head to confession. INT. RATS LIVING ROOM, NIGHT VIMES Confession? Zoe is at turns confused and anxious over these snippets of conversation.

65.

INT. RATS CAR, NIGHT RAT You know, sit down with the pastor, tell him my sins, see what he thinks he can do about it. Dont worry, Ill be fine. He speeds off into the night. INT. RATS LIVING ROOM, NIGHT VIMES Rat! This is crazy! Dont- Fuck, he hung up. ZOE There was probably a much smarter way to handle this whole fiasco. VIMES If only it had happened to smarter people. ZOE Oh, you two are plenty smart, Rats just so... impulsive. You always seem so cautious, but no around him. VIMES Hey, I have my moments. ZOE Woah, Im not knocking caution. One of you is about to confront a murderer with a magnum as his back-up plan, and one of you has deigned to protect little ol me. VIMES And here I thought you were sticking around for my safety. ZOE Yus. The govmints gonna learn not to mess with Momma Bear. GRAWR. She gnashes her teeth and claws at the air.

66.

EXT. BOWDLER AVENUE, NIGHT "49 Bowdler Avenue" is actually an empty plot of land at the end of a street. There is no house, no yard, nothing except a flat expanse of dirt and a desk smack in the center of the plot. Two flood lights on either side of the desk illuminate the simple, clean piece of furniture and the man leaning against it. Pastor Pete, still in his collar and suit, is waiting. He has his cellphone out in his hand. On the table is a single sheet of white paper. On either side of the desk is a chair. Rats car pulls up and he Rat, Pastor Pete pushes a covertly into his pocket. Rat even further on edge, with a firm handshake. steps out, cautious. When he sees button on his phone and slips it The sight before Pastor Pete puts but Pastor Pete greets him warmly

PASTOR PETE Ah! You must be that enterprising young lad who contacted my agents. What may I call you? RAT Rat. Just Rat. PASTOR PETE Codenames, eh? Well, you probably know me from my commercial work, so I suppose I shall remain Pastor Pete. RAT Whats with the set-up? PASTOR PETE Honestly, I expected more caution from you. I thought you would suspect this meeting is a trap, so I gave us an open space to meet. See? You can walk away whenever. Shall we? He gestures to the chairs and they sit. PASTOR PETE So. You have my box. Yes? RAT Yes.

(CONTINUED)

CONTINUED:

67.

PASTOR PETE I assume you know that it is stolen property and you have a duty as a citizen to return it. RAT Not from where Im sitting. PASTOR PETE Ah. Tell me. What is it that you think you know? RAT I know you look silly in a priest costume. Pastor Pete laughs and touches his collar. PASTOR PETE This? Ha. My days as a spokesman are far behind me, true, but even I get sentimental sometimes. Plus, people prefer to see me this way. He scratches behind the collar. PASTOR PETE Thats all were about, really; letting people live and believe what they want. What is it that you think we do at the CBC? RAT Whatever it is, your two goons have a suspicious amount of muscle for "Communications and Broadcast." PASTOR PETE Ha! You know, I think youll find this funny. Our real name is the Communications and Broadcast Commission, true, but we gave ourselves a nickname early on. Youll like it. We call ourselves: the Committee for Boredom Control. RAT What? PASTOR PETE See, the FCC, the MPAA, all those fine American institutions, they all seek to make better citizens (MORE) (CONTINUED)

CONTINUED:

68.

PASTOR PETE (contd) through censorship. Frankly, it never works. People want what they want, human nature, etc. So we started the CBC. Originally we had the same goals as everyone else, stopping delinquincy through censorship, through negative reinforcement. Thats around when we made those silly commercials. Im sure youre aware: they did nothing. So, we took the opposite tact. We had a hand in television, video games, the Internet, books, really any medium we could use to deliver fantasies to our wayward audience. RAT Wait, soPastor Pete absentmindedly scratches at his collar. PASTOR PETE Look. When people get bored, they try to change things, or they act out, or they commit crime. And we dont want that. We like things how they are. So we try to keep undesirables wrapped in their own fantasy worlds. Everyones happy! But, and heres why were meeting today, you ingrates were never fully satisfied. You couldnt keep yourselves in the clean, clearly defined spaces we made just for you. RAT So thats why you wanted the machine! Its the final step. PASTOR PETE We were going to make a happy world, Rat. Model citizens on model streets, living correctly and within the law, and people like you in their homes, far away from the rest of us but still happy as can be in their own imaginations. But then Spiegleman sabotaged us. I didnt want to hurt him, you know; the machine made him crazy, and he (MORE) (CONTINUED)

CONTINUED:

69.

PASTOR PETE (contd) attacked me. There was nothing I could do! He scratches his collar again. RAT If you had the machine back, what would you do? PASTOR PETE I would give you what you want. A reality of endless entertainment. It still needs tweaking, of course. Spieglemans brain became chemically dependent on the intense waves of pleasure use of the box creates. You might say he was hooked on his own imagination. That was... counter-productive. But trust in your government, Rat, well fix it! RAT Well. It sounds like you fellas have the right goal in mind. Here, Ill write down the address. Rat pulls the paper from desk towards him and scribbles with a pen from his pocket. PASTOR PETE Oh, wonderful! Youre making the right decision, really. Well finally put down boredom for good; no more of that awful stuff! Rat folds the paper and hands it to the pastor, and then stands to leave. At the edge of the pool of light, he turns back. RAT Before I go, one last question: whats under the collar? All enthusiasm vanishes from Pastor Petes face. RAT Youve been scratching this whole time. Whats under there, Pastor Pete? Another hole, like the one in Spiegleman?

(CONTINUED)

CONTINUED:

70.

PASTOR PETE Nonsense, IRAT Hey, no judgements. I know the craving to try it out, I understand the need. You get bored, you want a way out. And I saw the tapes. Apart from all the crazy, Spiegleman made the machine sound like a hell of a ride. Your two underlings had the same mark as Spiegleman; is that how youre keeping them loyal? Got them hooked too? PASTOR PETE This is outrageous! YouRAT You really think Id buy that he attacked you? He was tied up and tortured. He had a bag of bribe money all laid out; why do I have it, and you dont? Because you werent there to talk; you were there to get the machine for yourself, to get him to tell you where it is by any means necessary. PASTOR PETE Shut up! What the hell would a sniveling little shit like you know, you stupid, arrogant boy? So what? So what if I killed the man? That machine is the greatest invention man has ever created, and he wanted to keep it as his own! RAT So do you. You killed the only guy who could make another. PASTOR PETE Theres no address on this paper, is there? RAT Go ahead and look. Pastor Pete flips the piece of paper over; theres a quick sketch of a veiny penis. Anger flashes across Pastor Petes face.

(CONTINUED)

CONTINUED:

71.

PASTOR PETE Why? None of this even concerns you! RAT Because fuck you. PASTOR PETE How eloquent. RAT Subtlety is for chumps. I live my boring life, I obey the boring rules because I was told I had to. You give me a fraction of a reason to give in, ignore the rules, and take down one of the fuckers behind them, you think I wouldnt take it? No way. Too exciting. PASTOR PETE This wont end well for you. RAT Few things do. PASTOR PETE It wont end well for your friend, either. Vimes, yes? Rat freezes. The tables have turned. PASTOR PETE I saw you leaving Megacorp the other day. Were the government, remember? Since you came alone, I figured youd left your associate at your residence to guard the box. My agents should be arriving now at your address. Hopefully this Vimes wont put up too much... resistance? My agents are... eager to recover the box, and I doubt theyll be gentle. Rat bolts from the office as Pastor Pete chuckles in a light, carefree manner. PASTOR PETE Ah, the fun we have.

72.

INT. RATS LIVING ROOM, NIGHT Vimes and Zoe lean against each other on Rats couch. Vimes has his arm around her. Asobi Seksus "Citrus" album (or similarly weapons-grade dreampop) is playing over the speakers. The box sits on an end table between them and the door to the atrium. ZOE This may sound pretty dopey, but Im glad youre back in town. VIMES Really? Cause youve just been so cross this whole time. ZOE Shut up. I mean, Rat certainly makes things more interesting, and thats nice for a podunk-nowhere like this, but you know that its you Im excited to see, right? VIMES To be fair, if it wasnt for Rat, I probably wouldnt be able to work up the stones to even go to the diner. ZOE Wow, really? Youre that awkward? VIMES Yes. I am that awkward. ZOE Clearly I have bad taste in people. VIMES I dont. ZOE Well that wasnt so awkward. VIMES You know, I guess it wasnt. They look into each others eyes. Its a goddamn moment. White has suddenly appeared on the couch in the remaining space next to Vimes. Vimes face falls and the music dims, as always, to make White audible.

(CONTINUED)

CONTINUED:

73.

WHITE I do not think she likes you as much as you like her. Vimes pulls his arm from around Zoe. She looks at him, a bit confused. WHITE Why would she ever settle for you? Vimes leans forward and puts his hands together, staring at nothing. Zoe is more concerned. WHITE Nothing good can come of this. She will leave and it will hurt. It is better not to try. Anger flashes on Zoes face. At "leave", she stands up. Vimes does not react. Instead of crossing to the door, she briskly approaches the stereo and flares the volume high. Whites last words are instantly drowned in noise. Vimes looks up and sees her. She is smiling, and now he is too. She crosses to the sofa and pulls him up by his shirt, then plants a kiss on his lips with as much force as she can muster. The music is going bananas. Its "Goddamn Moment 2: Son of the Goddamn Moment." They roll onto the couch as the music continues to drape them in confetti. Suddenly, from the atrium, there is loud crash. The two break apart and stare in fear towards the front door. The stereo changes tracks, from ethereal and beautiful to hard and fast noise-punk. Another crash. Vimes starts to move toward the atrium when the two CBC agents appear from the doorway. Vimes grabs the machine. The agents smile at Vimes and Zoe, who take off in the opposite direction, toward the garage. INT. RATS GARAGE, NIGHT Vimes slams the door between the house and garage behind Zoe. The lights are on. He locks it just as the agents crash into the door from the other side. He backs away, panicked. VIMES Shit, what do we do? Im so sorry, Zoe, I- Zoe? Zoe has a baseball bat placed on a workbench, holding a nail against it in one hand and a hammer high in the other. Slamming down the hammer, she fashions a brutal club out of (CONTINUED)

CONTINUED:

74.

the bat with the quick addition of two more nails. She turns to the door, hammer in one hand, bat in the other, growling. Vimes is shocked. Zoe looks at him. She shrugs. ZOE Want one? VIMES Hammer. She tosses it to him. He catches it and places the box on the workbench. just as the feds break down the door. Vimes and Zoe stand at one end of the garage, the agents at the other. The garage door, shut, runs the length between them. The small windows on the door to the outside show black night. Agent 2 moves to draw his gun; Agent 1 stops him. AGENT 1 Remember our orders: do it quietly. He steps toward Vimes and Zoe, pulling a knife from his suit. AGENT 1 We wouldnt want the neighbors to hear. He has made it halfway when the garage door windows fill with headlights and the door explodes inward; Rats car crashes headlong into the far wall, clipping Agent 1s leg and sending him spinning to the ground. Zoe, Vimes, and Agent 2 are too stunned to react. Agent 1s leg is broken and bleeding. ZOE Holy fuck. VIMES Rat! Agent 2 pulls Agent 1 back into Rats house as Vimes pulls Rat from the car. The airbag deployed; Rat is winded and theres a bleeding cut on his forehead, but other than a few serious bruises, hes fine. RAT Came as fast as I could. Zoe looks at his bleeding head. ZOE Maybe you shouldve come a bit slower. (CONTINUED)

CONTINUED:

75.

Vimes tears off his shirt and binds it around Rats head. VIMES We gotta go. Come on. Vimes replaces the hammer for the box. They race through the hole Rats car made in the garage, Vimes carrying the box and Rat resting on Zoe for support while she holds the bat. EXT. DINER PARKING LOT, NIGHT The trio run in, panting from the exertion. Rat can stand on his own now. Vimes still carries the box. ZOE So... what now? VIMES You have to go home, first. ZOE What? No, IRAT They dont know you. Pastor Pete thought only Vimes would be there. VIMES We cant get you involved. ZOE Bullshit, IVIMES Please. Please. ZOE Okay. Fine. But what about you two? You cant go back there. RAT Weve got Spieglemans car. We can sleep there. ZOE Sleep? What about the guys who just tried to kill us? RAT I dont know. I- My brain isnt working, Im just so tired. Its been a long day. (CONTINUED)

CONTINUED:

76.

Zoe is not satisfied. VIMES Well figure something out, okay? Well fix this. He kisses her and, despite herself, she smiles. Rat raises an eyebrow. ZOE Okay. She hands him the bat. ZOE Its dangerous to go alone. Take this. Vimes laughs. On their way to the car, Rat nudges Vimes with his elbow and grins. RAT Dude. DUDE. Vimes smiles. VIMES Shut up. RAT Way to go. They climb in the car. INT. CAR, NIGHT The car is pulled over at the side of some empty, out of the way road, off the side of a fringe of trees. Rat stretches across the backseat, already unconscious. The passengers seat reclines into a make-shift bed, and Vimes stares out into the black wall of night. He cant sleep. Vimes turns his head and we see him look at Rat. When he turns back to look through the windshield again, White has reappeared in the drivers seat. WHITE Leave him. Vimes stares straight ahead, refusing to acknowledge White.

(CONTINUED)

CONTINUED:

77.

WHITE He will get you both killed. Vimes nods; his movement is slow and hesitant, but clearly a sign of consent. WHITE You cant save him. Vimes looks at White for the first time. They make eye contact. The cold pity of White is miles away from the real, immediate fear in Vimes wide eyes. WHITE Leave him. EXT. SIDE STREET, NOON The boys are awake and refreshed. They lean against the car, looking into sunlit woods on the side of the road. Silence hangs over them untilVIMES What do we do now? RAT I dont know. VIMES Theyre gonna find us, Rat. Unless we go. RAT We cant do that. VIMES So what, then? What do we do? RAT I dont know. Vimes distress only grows. RAT Let me see your phone, I want to check that email address I set up last night. Maybe weve got something. Vimes hands over his phone.

(CONTINUED)

CONTINUED: VIMES Jesus, Rat, how- were so in over our heads. Were so- man. Rat, looking at the phone, goes white. RAT Fuck. VIMES What? What happened? Rat looks up at him. RAT Its from Pastor Pete. They want the box. VIMES Yeah, so? TheyRAT Theyve got hostages. VIMES WHAT? RAT Him and those two agents, theyre at Megacorp, he says theyll shoot them if we dont bring the box or if we go to the police. Shit. Deadline is 2 PM and its... 12:15. Afterthat... its a body every half hour. Sent me a picture, too.

78.

He shows the screen. Out of the phone, Pastor Pete wears a wolfish grin and gestures in invitation to a crowd of twenty people huddled in the directors office, with the two agents, one standing and one seated, brandishing pistols. RAT Bastard. Vimes collapses against the car, head between his knees. His nerves rock him back and forth. VIMES Oh God. Oh God. Rat stares up at the sky. Fury washes his face in red. White, calm and collected as ever, kneels next to Vimes. His permanent smile once again bears no sign of kindness. (CONTINUED)

CONTINUED:

79.

WHITE You know what you need to do. VIMES No. No, no, no. WHITE Those men out there are going to kill you. Rat looks down at Vimes and his expression softens. He crouches next to his friend. RAT Vimes, look at me. Vimes, we can do this, me and you, we can save these people. WHITE You cant. Vimes starts to sob. VIMES I cant! I cant, I cant! Rat cannot let his friend talk like this. His fury returns. RAT Goddamn it Vimes, we can. These people needs us, you get it? Were the only ones who can do this. VIMES No, no, no. WHITE Leave him. He cant save you. LeaveRats head whips up and he locks eyes with White. For the first time, emotion creases that placid face: fear. The words catch in his throat. Rat is pouring fury out of his eye sockets. RAT YOU. Rat lunges past Vimes and grabs White by the head. He slams his cranium against the car door, once, twice, thrice. White drops. Rat falls with him and keels over him, pummeling him with punch after punch. His hands start to come up bloody.

(CONTINUED)

CONTINUED:

80.

RAT LEAVE HIM- THE FUCK- ALONE! Breathing heavily, Rat rises and turns to face Vimes. Vimes finally acknowledges Rat, raising his head to look his friend in the face. Vimes is past the breaking point: his synapses have been overloaded with panic. RAT Vimes, look at me. Dont you fucking give up on me, not now, not ever. You son of a bitch, youre the only friend Ive got. VIMES Rat, what ifRAT Youre the only person whos ever had my back, the only one Ive ever believed in. Dont you do this to me, dont let me down, not now, not with these stakes. Those people need us! Stand up, Vimes, they need you, I need you, please stand up, stand up! Rats words roar down on his friend. Vimes panic has evaporated. He stands, still shaky from the ordeal, but as he wipes the tears from his eyes, a new resolve burns underneath. His mouth is a hard, firm line, then bends into a smile. RAT Okay? VIMES Okay. They get into the car. White has not disappeared; he remains at on the ground, beaten and bloodied, the car door still dented from the impact of his skull. The car pulls on to the road and the tires squeal. INT. CAR, NOON Pounding music has the boys blood pumping as they speed. VIMES I know that look. Youve got a plan.

(CONTINUED)

CONTINUED:

81.

RAT Yup. Itll be dangerous. VIMES Were attempting a hostage rescue with a pistol and six bullets. What could go wrong? RAT Alright, let me lay it out for you. I recognized the room theyre keeping them in. Room 401, the directors office, fourth floor. INT. ROOM 401, NOON The three CBC men stare down at the hostages, who huddle quietly and submissively. INT. CAR, NOON VIMES So? INT. ROOM 401, NOON Pastor Pete looks out the window and smiles. He signals to the standing agent, Agent 2. He turns to the seated agent, Agent 1, and whispers in his ear. Then both Pastor Pete and Agent 2 depart, leaving Agent 1 to take care of the hostages. RAT (VO) So theyre not going to bring all the hostages downstairs for the exchange. Theyre gonna split up. But the Pastor likes to have the advantage: hes gonna want numbers on his side. So, that means two people downstairs, leaving only one with the hosties. INT. CAR, NOON VIMES How would two outnumber us?

(CONTINUED)

CONTINUED: RAT Cause Ill be going in alone. VIMES What? No way! IRAT Relax, your parts even worse. See that one agent seated in the picture? Vimes looks back at the phone. INT. ROOM 401, NOON

82.

Agent 1 holds his leg, trying to hide his pain from the hostages. His hand is shaky; the wound has not been professionally treated. His nerves are on edge. RAT (VO) I broke his leg when I slammed into the garage, so hell be the one with the hostages. Hes your target. INT. CAR, NOON VIMES So how do I take him out? EXT. MEGACORP OFFICES REAR, NOON Vimes stares up at the four-story building. Cracking his knuckes, he begins to climb the iron fire escape ladder running up its side.. RAT (VO) Theres a fire escape going to the roof. You INT. CAR, NOON VIMES What if theyre waiting for me? RAT They wont be. Im the distraction, which is why I get the gun. If Im unarmed with the box, theyll kill me right away and take it. (CONTINUED)

CONTINUED: VIMES So... EXT. MEGACORP OFFICES REAR, NOON

83.

Rat is halfway up. We see that he has Zoes bludgeoning stick taped to his back with duct tape. RAT (VO) You get the bat. Tape it to your back with the duct tape in the glove box. Youll need your hands for climbing. INT. CAR, NOON VIMES And once Im inside, I bludgeon the guy with the gun. RAT Try to do it quietly. If the Pastor hears something coming from the hostage room, hes going to know somethings up and my life expectancys going to make a sharp curve south. VIMES This is gonna end well. RAT Any better ideas? VIMES No, just... this will probably kill us. RAT Aint it great? Vimes shrugs and smiles. VIMES Whatll you be doing? RAT Stalling. Ill have six bullets and Im not that good of a shot, so Ill keep them talking long enough for you to get the other guys gun and come up from behind.

84.

Vimes nods. The boys are both stiff with grim determination, but in their eyes is a wild excitement. Rat smiles. EXT. OFFICE PARK, NOON Vimes hops out of the car and runs to Rats side, where hes rolled down the window. RAT You can sneak from here. Room 401 faces the parking lot; come in from the rear. Ill wait until youve had time to get close, then head in too. VIMES Good luck. RAT Wait, one last thing. I need your help with some tape. EXT. MEGACORP OFFICES, NOON Rat gets out of the car and stands with the drivers side door between him and the Megacorp building. The car is in the middle of the parking lot, facing the entrance, the box duct taped to its hood. The doors are open and the emptiness of the lobby visible from without. He picks up a chunk of pavement lying at his feet. He tosses it in the air repeatedly. He stares into the lobby. Finally, from within the dark building interiorPASTOR PETE (OS) Wheres your partner? RAT Lets be straight. Youre not interested in anyone else walking out of here alive, so I left him behind. One potential less bodybag in the mix. PASTOR PETE (OS) Always so clever. RAT Any way we can meet out here? Id prefer some fresh air before you shoot me.

(CONTINUED)

CONTINUED:

85.

Pastor Pete and Agent 2 emerge in the glaring sun. Pastor Pete is smiling; Agent 2 is not. PASTOR PETE My boy, I dont want to kill you! I just want the box. They start to walk towards the car. Rat holds up a hand. They stop. RAT Thats far enough. PASTOR PETE Need I remind you that we have hostages? Well be taking whats ours. RAT Oh, you can have it. All I ask is a little patience. PASTOR PETE Oh? RAT I send the car over to you. Neither one of us gets close to the other. We all walk away safe. Agent 2 is unhappy with this plan. Pastor Pete cools his glare with an easy wave. PASTOR PETE Very well. Rat smiles and pops open the drivers side door. RAT Just a moment. INT. CAR, NOON Rat leans in and puts the key in the ignition. He shifts to one leg in the car, one out. His other hand lifts the gun from the side of his seat, where it has lain hidden. RAT Ready? There is no answer. He looks up and back down, quickly. He spends a few moments drumming on the console and making elaborate gestures. Then, from without(CONTINUED)

CONTINUED:

86.

PASTOR PETE (OS) Yes, whenever youre ready, please. Rat continues to stall. PASTOR PETE (OS) Hello? EXT. MEGACORP OFFICES, NOON Rats head pops out of the car. RAT Hey, its not starting, give me a minute. PASTOR PETE I- Im sorry? RAT Hey man, its not my car, I dont know how it works. PASTOR PETE Is there an owners manual? RAT Id ask the owner, but some asshole stabbed him to death. Agent 2 glares at Pastor Pete and grips his gun. INT. ROOM 401, NOON Agent 1, wounded, sweats and shakes. The 20-odd hostages could overpower him if they tried, and the fear of this knowledge sits in his eyes. He swings the gun from one hostage to another. Jerry cowers with the other hostages; to his right is MALE DRONE (30s). Vimes slips through the doorway, crouched and quiet. In his hand is the baseball bat. Agent 1 closes his eyes and rubs sweat from his forehead as the hostages notice Vimes. Vimes urgently points back at Agent 1 and the hostages refocus their attention. The hostages attention on Agent 1 is deliberate and focused; they cant give away Vimes by accident. Their piercing stares set Agent 1 further on edge.

(CONTINUED)

CONTINUED: AGENT 1 Anybody tries anything, anything, I will kill them and the person on their left. Got it? You wanna kill your friend?

87.

Male Drone slips up for a second. His eyes dart to Vimes. We see Agent 1s eyes. He notices. His broken leg makes it difficult to turn, giving Vimes the fraction of a second he needs to hustle behind a piece of furniture. Vimes cowers, holding his breath, sweat dripping past his wide eyes. Agent 1 stares at the furniture. Without turning back to the hostagesAGENT 1 None of you move. INT. CAR, NOON PASTOR PETE (OS) My patience is at an end. Rat knows this ruse is not going to work much longer and his grip on the gun tightens. He turns on the car and the engine revs. He hefts the chunk of pavement in his off-hand. The car is still in park. RAT Got it! He waits a couple beats. RAT Wait, now I cant get it into drive! Through the windshield and past the box on the roof, he can see the two men start to move toward the car. INT. ROOM 401, NOON He struggles to his uninjured foot, putting his weight on his chair as he hops forward. To the left of Male Drone, Jerry has his eyes burning into the agents back. His breathing is heavy. He stands. JERRY Hey. Agent 1 turns back. Vimes pokes his head from behind the furniture; he is feet from Agent 1.

(CONTINUED)

CONTINUED:

88.

JERRY Hey, I need to use theAgent 1 points the gun at him. AGENT 1 Sit the fuck down! I swear, I willVimes rises from behind the furniture. Shock and fear twist across Agent 1s face when he hears the movement, and he turns back as Vimes bat flashes overhead. CUT TO: EXT. MEGACORP OFFICES, NOON A gunshot rings out from Room 401. Agent 2 and Pastor Pete glance with shock at hostage room over their heads. INT. CAR, NOON RAT Fuck! His off-hand drops the pavement onto the gas pedal. The engine roars as he then slams the car into drive with his other hand and dives backwards out of the vehicle. EXT. MEGACORP OFFICES, NOON The eyes of Agent 2 and Pastor Pete snap back to the car as it barrels towards them. On his back, Rat fires three shots at the two men. Two hit the walls and one shatters the glass doors of the building. Agent 2 raises his gun and starts firing, but he only manages to hit the car. Pastor Pete tackles him out of the way of the car and shakes him. PASTOR PETE DO NOT. SHOOT. THE BOX. Rat scrambles to his feet and into the cover of the parked cars. A bullet pings off of a nearby blue sedan as Agent 2 raises himself up, disgusted at his inaccuracy. Pastor Pete reveals his own pistol from his coat pocket as Spieglemans car crunches into the wall of Megacorp. PASTOR PETE Head around the other side! Well corner him.

(CONTINUED)

CONTINUED:

89.

Agent 2 takes off running. Pastor Pete checks the box: it is unharmed. So is the car, except for some ugly damage to the front. He tears the keys from the car and runs towards teh parking lot. PASTOR PETE Youre cornered, Rat! Run, run, run all you like, but well find you! INT. ROOM 401, NOON Jerry still cant wrap his head around what hes just done. He is on his knees, staring at the wall. Vimes rises from the body of Agent 1, the agents gun replacing the bat in his right hand. He walks from Agent 1, unconscious on the ground from the blow to his head, to Jerry and offers him his left hand. Jerry looks up to see the hand and, further up, the bloody graze from the bullet visible. It is shallow, but bleeding. VIMES Jerry. JERRY Dude, youre been shot. Vimes shrugs. Jerry takes his hand and stands, still dazed. Vimes gives him a firm hug, getting just a bit of blood on Jerrys shirt. Vimes runs out of the room. The other hostages are starting to unfreeze and uncurl from their cowering positions. His co-workers cant believe a drone-nothing like Jerry would end up saving them. Excited, they rush around them. Schneider shushes them. SCHNEIDER This isnt over. Well evacuate out the back, the two others still in the parking lot. The workers congratulate Jerry with smiles and pats on the back. Front and center in congratulating him is JENNIFER SANCHEZ (late 20s), the woman he earlier described as foxy. She smiles at him. Jerry cant suppress his grin. Male Drone stares out the window onto the parking lot, where he can see the action playing out with an overhead view. Rat is in the center of the maze of cars, with Agent 2 and Pastor Pete closing from either end.

90.

EXT. MEGACORP PARKING LOT, NOON Rat crouches behind a silver SUV. He checks his gun; three bullets left. In a muted groanRAT Fuck. He stiffens. Did he hear something? The silence hangs around him as he stares down the alleys of cars. He stares under the cars and sees one pair of feet heading down his aisle at an angle. He looks out into the parking lot. Theres an open area between this patch of cars and the next. His gaze darts between the oncomers avenue of approach and the open space. Rat bursts from the cover of the cars, heading full speed into the next group. Pastor Pete, surveying this open space, spots him and fires twice at Rat, missing both times, with his second shot smashing a rear window just as Rat gets back into cover. Agent 2s head appears in the maze of cars, looking at Pastor Pete, who signals to him Rats direction. Agent 2 takes off after Rat. Rat lies flat against a green sedan. His chest his eyes are full of panic. He scambles on his knees past two cars, a red pick-up truck and a looking over his shoulder for anyone who might approaching. is heaving, hands and black SUV, be

From the edge of the SUV, he sees the open street. His body tenses and he crouches as if to run, when he peers around the SUV and sees Pastor Pete, standing at watching the edge of the cars on the parking lot. We see the empty chambers in Rats gun as he stares down at the pistol, then back at Pastor Pete. The target is obviously too far away. Rat wipes sweat from his forehead when Pastor Pete raises a shout: hes seen Rat. Agent 2s head reemerges. Hes close now. Rat scrambles back into the line of cars and we lose sight of him. From Pastor Petes position, we see Agent 2 approach the black SUV. Closer, closer. He is standing where Rat was. He shakes his head at Pastor Pete. Now from Agent 2s position, we see him turn back into the maze of cars. He peers around the corner of the black SUV: no one to the left, right, or forward. He lowers himself to the ground, but he cant see any feet. He stands facing the black SUV, back to the bed of the red pickup truck, stone still, listening.

(CONTINUED)

CONTINUED:

91.

With the smooth, quick motion of a sit-up, Rats torso rises from the pick-up bed, gun already extended in front of him. His weight shift makes the the truck bed squeak. The shock and fear of Agent 2 are lost as he turns and raises his gun. Rat fires a bullet into his arm and another into his head as Agent 2, too slow on the turn, only manages to hit a rearview mirror on the pickup truck. The agent slumps against the black SUV before falling to the ground, bleeding. Rat breath is rapid and his hand. He cant tear climbs out of the truck toward the open stretch his eyes are wide; the gun shakes in his eyes away from Agent 2. He and stumbles backwards away from him of parking lot.

Pastor Pete, alerted by the shots, has run towards this section of the lot. From his vantage, we see Rat trip backwards out of the line of cars and scramble to his feet. Pastor Pete breaks his stride to aim a shot at Rat. Now from Rats vantage, it pings the back of a grey sedan as Rat turns, alarmed, to see Pastor Pete again running toward him. In his panic, Rat fires without properly aiming, trying to stop the charging man. One bullet cracks the pavement at his feet, and then- *click* *click* *click*. Rat is out of bullets. Terrified, he runs back to the first group of cars, heading for the Megacorp building in the background. Pastor Pete starts laughing, a wild and furious laugh that shreds the stiff tension of the parking lot. Rat makes it three cars deep before he trips and falls with a thud. The gun flies from his grip but he doesnt bother to pick it up as he gets to his feet. Running for the end of the stretch of cars, two cars from the edge, the butt of a pistol slams into his face as he rounds a corner. Sprawled out and dazed, he looks up to see Pastor Pete, all smiles and laughter, standing over him. PASTOR PETE Little rat, caught in a maze. The men like it when the rats try to run the lab. Its just not how things are done. As he aims for Rats skull, a shot rings out a bullet catches him in the ankle, spraying his blood across the pavement. With a cry, he collapses to the ground, facing towards the building. From his view, we see Vimes through the thin gap between car and pavement, lying flat on the ground between Megacorp and the parking lot with Agent 1s gun pointed in front of him.

(CONTINUED)

CONTINUED:

92.

Pastor Pete tries to bring his own gun to bear, but Rat, turning on his side, grabs his arm with his free hand and, contorting his body, lifting slightly off the ground before slamming back down on Pastor Petes face with a vicious headbutt. Rat rolls off of him, gasping for air. In his hand are Spieglemans car keys. Pastor Pete moans in pain as Vimes jogs up to the two fallen figures. He hauls Rat to his feet and the boys look at each other, then down at Pastor Pete. They start to laugh. INT. CAR, AFTERNOON Still smushed against the wall, the cars front doors open and Rat and Vimes climb in, still chuckling and working the last laughter out of their systems. Vimes places Zoes baseball bat in the backseat, then the box, which still bears some of the duct tape that held it to the hood. Rat reverses the car away from the wall. EXT. MEGACORP OFFICES, AFTERNOON The car rolls back onto the pavement. The crowd of ex-hostages stand around the Megacorp entrance, the unconscious Agent 1 and injured Pastor Pete tied and monitored to prevent escape. Agent 2s dead body has a little more space, lying on the grass apart from everyone. A few of them wave to the departing car. The car pulls onto the road and drives away as, from the opposite direction, flashing sirens signal the approach of ambulences and the police. INT. CAR, AFTERNOON Rat is quiet as Vimes smiles out the window. He turns to his buddy. VIMES You know, Im not even sure how to celebrate. After all this, its... I dont want weed, or alcohol, or nothing. I cant think of a single thing thatll match how good it feels to still be breathing. Rat is still quiet.

(CONTINUED)

CONTINUED:

93.

VIMES Look at today! Look at the sky and the sun! I dont know if Ive ever seen a more beautiful Tuesday. Still focused on drivingRAT You dont mind not waiting for the cops? VIMES You said it yourself, we both need a shower and some time to relax, and weve got plenty of witnesses. Instead of evacuating, a few hostages just watched the whole thing from 401. Primo skybox seating. Rat smiles. RAT I hope they enjoyed the show. VIMES Youre alright, right? RAT Yeah. This has been pretty heavy, but I think Ill be okay. VIMES Its gonna be weird going back to school tomorrow, yeah? The smile drops off Rats face. He nods, but not with conviction. VIMES Heck, thats if the policell let us go back. We may get a few more days off, though, thatd be nice. RAT Sure, nice. VIMES Whatever. Im just glad were alive.

94. INT. RATS KITCHEN, EVENING Vimes drinks from a tall, cool glass of water as he watches a squad car pull away from the house. He smiles to himself, satisified. His bags are packed next to him, the baseball bat from Zoe resting against one of them. He picks it up and twirls it in his hands. He looks around. VIMES Rat? INT. RATS BEDROOM, EVENING Rats bedroom has become a spare, empty space. On the second floor, it has a bed without sheets in the corner and an unpainted chair in the center. Rat sits in the chair; to his right is the dented Way Out Machine, and he cradles the spinal connector in his hand. VIMES (OS) Rat? Rat? Rat looks up, alarmed. Vimes opens the door and freezes at the sight. VIMES RaFor a moment the boys stare at each other. VIMES What... No. Dont do this, Rat. Rat struggles to his feet. RAT What would it matter? VIMES This does not happen. RAT You said it yourself. This has been a hell of a trip, and, you know, I hardly enjoyed the constant fear of death, but now we have to go back. And I cant. Not to my boring old life. Theres no other way out. Im too tired. Rat stares at the blank walls. (CONTINUED)

CONTINUED:

95.

RAT This used to be my room, you know? Whats left? Where is there left for me? Where can I go? Not back, not forward, nowhere but out. In response, Vimes raises the bat. He lazily swings out to deliver a soft tap to the side of Rats temple. VIMES Im serious. I will. RAT Vimes, whatVIMES Shut up. If you want to go down that road, I will end you. RAT WhatVIMES I said shut up! That thing will kill you. It will drive you mad. And thats what you want. To keep running away from reality. After all weve done. If you want to bow out, I want you to know, fuck you for leaving. RAT Its not like that. This- I cant fight this. Its just the way life is. VIMES Bullshit! Look at what we accomplished. We spent the last four days spitting in the eye of every power, every danger we could find, and were still here. You think we cant beat this? No. Vimes lowers the gun, slipping it into his waistband. VIMES We beat them, we can beat their rules. And then we can make our own. Look at me- LOOK AT ME. Do you know how many lives we saved today? I didnt even bother to count. And we did it with our own fucking (MORE) (CONTINUED)

CONTINUED:

96.

VIMES (contd) hands! "Theres is no way out." These hands, where there is no way forward, they make one! Where there is a wall, they break it down! A smart guy like you, with strong hands: what the hells gonna stand in your way? Rat and Vimes look at each other. Rat lowers the boxs needle. VIMES You know, truth be told, I feel like were owed another weekend. This one was not what you might call... relaxing? RAT Well, alright. The boys have a tight, firm hug, and separate. VIMES Its a big, wild world out there. Theres room for us. We see the machine inert between the boys, Rats window bright with the setting sun in the background. The boys turn to look at the machine. EXT. RATS FRONT YARD, DAY From the second story window, the machine comes crashing out into the air, falling to the ground with a crunch. It lies in the grass and sunlight, broken. Rat and Vimes emerge from the house, each with their own bags. Rat holds the package marked "Bribe Cash", Vimes holds Zoes bat. Spieglemans car is still parked at the edge of the lawn. RAT Hey, swap. The two boys toss each other the times theyre carrying. In one motion, Rat grabs the bat from air and brings it crashing down on the machine, and again, and again. He gives it a solid stomp for good measure. The boys exchange a glance. Vimes laughs and Rat whoops joyfully. They dash to the car.

(CONTINUED)

CONTINUED:

97.

RAT Shove off, Im driving! INT. SPIEGLEMANS CAR, DAY Rat slides into the drivers seat, Vimes takes the passengers. They heave their packs into the back. VIMES Fuel? RAT Check. VIMES Engine? Rat turns the ignition. RAT Check. VIMES Plan? Rat smiles and Vimes laughs. VIMES Take-off! Rat wags a finger. RAT Not yet. EXT. ZOES HOUSE, DAY Rat and Vimes pull up in Spieglemans car. Rat stops with authority and looks at Vimes, who pieces together their location. VIMES Wait, Zoes house? RatRAT Dude. Vimes expects him to say something more.

(CONTINUED)

CONTINUED:

98.

VIMES RatRAT Dude- just go ask her. His thin resistance crumbling, Vimes steps out of the car. White has appeared at Zoes mailbox, which stands between her front door and Vimes. Though he has returned to his state of ambivalent menace, White now bears a black eye and one of his arms is in a sling: heavy-handed signifiers of injury. Vimes doesnt notice him until theyre parallel, whenWHITE Were not through, you and I. Vimes stops suddenly, still facing forward. He turns to face White directly for the first time ever; both are tense. A wolf-smile breaks onto Vimes face. He feigns a heavy punch at White, who flinches and is then embarrassed by his own response. A laugh escapes Vimes. VIMES Well see. Vimes continues his march to the front door, and when we see the mailbox again, White is gone. At the door, Vimes breathes in and knocks. Zoe opens the door. She is surprised and happy to see him. VIMES Listen, this is going to start off weird, but hear me out. First, youre my favorite person. Of everyone. I know you feel alone and powerless and scared, and you shouldnt, because youre probably, objectively, the peak of evolution. The worlds tough, but I know you, you can get through it. You dont need me for that. But youre too good to just get by. That ugly car behind me has a full tank of gas and the last interesting man on Earth in the drivers seat. I dont know where were going or what well do, or even if well have the money to get there, but goddamn it were going to try. If you tell me to my face that you arent wasted on minimum wage, on this dead town, (MORE) (CONTINUED)

CONTINUED:

99.

VIMES (contd) on a future of the endless, boring same, Ill go and never bother you again. But Im here offering you a chance to live, not survive, but really live with the time were given. The world turns with or without us, but life on its surface is still what we make it. So. Feel like taking a ride? EXT. NOWHERE ROAD, DAY Spieglemans car tears it down an open road as the soundtrack blares thunder and triumph. The amount of pasengers cannot be discerned on sight. THE END CHANGES TO CONSIDER: Replace Megacorp with "Neotoma Communications Technologies"? Replace Spiegleman with "Sigmodon"? MORE DRUGS MORE ALCOHOL MORE VIOLENCE MORE WEIRD