The True Story of Chronicles 2 By Kieran and Tara

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ACT I Scene 1 Enter Aaron and Ryan AARON Welcome to Santorini, Greece, the home of your ORGlympic Games. Im your host Aaron. RYAN And Im Ryan. AARON And were here to bring to you the greatest games in the world. But first, here to sing the national anthem is last years Buttqueefing Champion, Patrick! Enter Patrick PATRICK Oh Rachel, Oh Rachel Our Goddess in green You shine with your sequins Your giant cans Keep my pee pee keen-AARON -- thats enough Patrick. Exit Patrick AARON Now lets get started with your ORGlympic Events. Introducing our first two competitors, Jake and Justin. Enter Jake riding Stacey and Justin riding Dylan DYLAN Neighhhhhhhh STACEY This is stupid. If Im gonna be a pony, why cant I be a pretty pony? OOH, a My Little Pony! The one thats all white with a pink tail? So cute! JUSTIN Wait, Dylans not in this game? Hes just the horse? And wheres Alex? This is dumb. I quit. (CONTINUED)

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Exit Justin AARON Because Justin has removed himself from the game, the rules will change. Well have a merged competition. Can I have all the competitors in the arena? Enter Fei, Frank, Kieran, Matt, Nathan, Sagar, and Tara AARON The name of this competition is Narcissuss Mirror. In Greek Mythology, Narcissus is a beautiful man who fell in love with his own reflection in a pond. For this challenge, you will all be looking into that pond to count the number of fish inside. The four people closest to the number will move on. Understood? JAKE Wait, so were just counting fish? AARON Thats correct. FEI Thats stupid. KIERAN Why dont we do something more creative, like we each catch a fish and the person who catches the prettiest fish wins? TARA Or a toga making contest. AARON I put a lot of time into getting these fish into the pond. I thought it was a well thought out competition. If you have a problem with it, you guys can quit. NATHAN No, Justin already left. AARON Then start counting! KIERAN This is stewwwwwpid. I cahnt even troi to count theeese. The contestants each whisper their total counts to Aaron.

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AARON The top four are... Sagar. SAGAR SWEET! AARON ... Matt... MATT Cool, bro. AARON ... Frank... FRANK Im glad I placed high. AARON ... and... Jake. The final competition is called Escape like Prometheus. In Greek Mythology, Prometheus was chained to a rock and nearly pecked to death until Hercules came to save him. For this, you will have nobody to save you except yourselves. Your job is to untie yourselves from the rock as quickly as possible. The first one to do so and grab this flag is the winner. Understood? JAKE I get it, I just think it could be more exciting than untying knots. AARON Maybe you should host this then, Jake. Well there is one more twist. Just like Prometheus was nearly pecked to death, you will be whipped by my assistants over here. Enter FOUR ADONIS JAKE Woah. FRANK Theyre beautiful. SAGAR Can I take one home? MATT Whats going on? Why is everybody drooling?

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AARON And you can start untying yourselves... NOW! FRANK So Adonis, how often does one have to work out to get a body like that? JAKE I had sex with an Argentinian last night, but he wasnt nearly as attractive as you. SAGAR Your face is absolutely astonishing. MATT These knots arent too bad. Especially if I use my teeth. Seriously, Mr. Adonis, you dont need to whip so hard. JAKE Harder! MATT Just one... knot... left... AARON Matt takes home the gold! Nicely done, Matt. Anything you have to say? MATT I just want to thank my baseball team and my girlfriend. AARON And there you have it, your ORGlympic gold medalist. For these games, Im Aaron. RYAN And Im Ryan. AARON Goodnight!