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Published by:
Cecil McIntosh, B.B.M., CHt
Change Perspective
905-274-0632
P.O. Box 45011
Mississauga, ON L5G 1BO
http://www.emptyyourcup.com/stressrelief
support@emptyyourcup.com
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©2007 Cecil McIntosh, B.B.M., CHt www.EmptyYourCup.com
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Introduction
What is stress stealing from you?
In this special report I will demonstrate why stress is stealing and robbing you of your valuable
time and energy. My feelings aren’t intuitive or mystically divined. In fact, there are numerous
statistics to support my beliefs in the importance of stress management and relaxation as a
healthy tool in a hectic culture:
• 50 million Americans have high blood pressure due to uncontrollable stress. (35% don’t
even know it!)
• 13% of all deaths worldwide are related to stress and hypertension.
• Stress is related to fve million premature deaths each year.
• An Australian report indicates that 16% of terminal kidney disease is caused by stress.
• Depression and stress will be the #1 cause of job-related diseases in the coming century.
• 73% of diabetics experience hypertension also called high blood pressure.
• $300 billion is spent each year on stress-based compensation claims, absenteeism and
high employee turnover rates. If you have a business do you know how much stress is
costing you?
• A report from the UK indicates that 66% of those being treated for hypertension still
have high blood pressure. (If you have been battling high blood pressure and other stress
related challenges, could it be that you may require more than drugs?)
Tis book started out as a series of interviews discussing the painful consequences of stress on
our daily lives. Tis special report reveals the secret to: doing more by doing less; fnding time
when you think there is none; and showing you how to convert stress into a positive reservoir of
productive energy.
Tis text explains 21 methods for conquering stress and tension and using it to your
advantage. Is stress killing YOU? We all know stress kills but we don’t know what to do
about it. Our study concludes with solutions to three of the most common problems
encountered by the” busyness” paradox.
We are about to break down some barriers and challenge your myths with our special
report.
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©2007 Cecil McIntosh, B.B.M., CHt www.EmptyYourCup.com
It’s Time to Empty Your Cup of Stress
and Change Perspectives
Meet Cecil McIntosh: Guide, Healer, Teacher
Is stress robbing you and stealing your valuable energy and time?
Are you too busy to fnd time for yourself? My name is Cecil
McIntosh and for the past 14 years I have helped thousands of
people fnd time where they thought there was none, so that they
can live fuller, richer, more productive lives through the use of
my exclusive Empty Your Cup® process of stress management.
In my private practice, I meet people from all walks of life, each
with a distinct set of views that have created a problem in their
lives. Tey are unhappy. Stressed. Overwhelmed. Frightened.
Tat’s why I’ve gone to such lengths to provide the guidance
and direction people need to Change Perspectives. Life is short.
To live each day to the fullest we need perspective and context
within the whirlwind pace of contemporary life. Without this perspective, we will continue
to make the same mistakes. We will encounter the same problems. We will live less satisfying
lives. Tis concerns me greatly. However, let me frst introduce my host and interviewer, well-
known radio personality and public speaker, Wayne Kelly.
Meet Wayne Kelly: Media Coach, Speaker, Radio Personality
Wayne Kelly is a successful Media Coach, public speaker and
radio personality.
He’s interviewed thousands of people from UFO experts and
inventors of self-closing toilet lids to celebrities like Richard
Simmons, Dr. Phil and Lionel Richie, and motivational speakers
like T. Harv Eker, Mark Victor Hansen, and Stedman Graham.
Wayne now teaches authors, speakers and coaches to
use the media to build their brand, share their expertise,
and become a resource to others. His clients from around the world no longer fear the
media, but use it to share their unique, important messages with millions of listeners.
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©2007 Cecil McIntosh, B.B.M., CHt www.EmptyYourCup.com
My Concerns Based on 14 Years as a Terapist?
I am concerned when I see people whose cups are too full but who do not know how to
empty those cups. I am intrigued because people are trying to live in the moment but
have no idea how to relax. I am bemused that not enough business organizations take
the issues of health seriously enough to insist that top managers practice relaxation
techniques regularly, and to ensure that the program is a success.
I am perplexed because too many people need cafeine, nicotine or some other chemical
to discover and enjoy relaxation. I am disturbed to see young people in their 20s and 30s
experiencing heart attacks and strokes with greater frequency than ever before.
I am upset because I see many successful businesspeople who are not in touch with their
emotions. I am bothered to see successful entrepreneurs too stressed to enjoy life.
I am troubled when I hear people complain of medical issues even though they neglect to
see a doctor for regular check-ups. I am worried when I hear elderly people wish that they
had taken better care of their health.
I am alarmed when terminally ill people admit to me that they’ve ignored their health by
not going to a doctor or not telling a doctor about their ailments.
I am uneasy when I see people willfully undermine their relationships because they don’t
always get their way.
I am apprehensive when I see working moms and baby boomers settle for less than they
deserve because they do not know how to be selfsh. I am disturbed when I see people
who are blind to what they have. I am anxious when I see people “force” other people to
love them at all costs. I am distressed because most people around me do not know how
to take a break.
I am distraught that people do not take personal responsibility, instead blaming the
weather, the government or uncontrollable fate. I am unsettled when people are angry
because they do not feel appreciated. Tese concerns lead to stress overload.
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©2007 Cecil McIntosh, B.B.M., CHt www.EmptyYourCup.com
And What Are the Symptoms of Stress Overload?
• Fatigue and insomnia – a dangerous mixture that will ultimately afect your physical
health.
• Discomfort, aches and pains with no known cause, therefore no known cure. What can
you do to feel better – everyday?
• Chronic, unexplained depression or anxiety – a major contributor to heart disease and
high blood pressure and kidney disease.
• A sore jaw (from clenching teeth) – especially in
the middle of the night!
• Recurring headaches, dizziness and/or a feeling of
being disconnected that doesn’t go away with O-
T-C remedies – no matter how many you try!
• Sexual problems including erectile dysfunction
(ED) and loss of libido that can add even more
stress to a stressful, important relationship.
• Sudden weight gain or loss – even when you’re not counting calories. Sound familiar?
• Indigestion, constipation and other problems within the gastro-intestinal tract despite
numerous changes in diet and eating habits. Tese stress-induced physical problems
will have an efect on your long-term physical health. Eliminate the stress, eliminate the
physical symptoms altogether.
• Anorexia, bulimia, binge eating and other eating disorders are common indicators of
stress and, because these disorders can be life threatening, professional intervention may
be required. Some anorexics require in-patient treatment!
• Cold, sweaty palms and uncontrollable trembling even when there’s no perceived danger.
Your stress triggers may be all around you – even in once-comfortable surroundings like
your home or workplace.
• Agoraphobia (fear of leaving the safety of your home) often leaves suferers housebound.
Tey are afraid to even go to the mailbox. It’s a very constricting life, one that is rarely
flled with happiness.
• Rapid loss of hair is another common stress symptom. It can afect men or women and is
often confused with normal hair loss caused by the aging process. Sometimes, it’s not.
• Inability to maintain focus on the task at hand makes everything difcult at home and
on the job. Another danger? Driving while distracted. And if the kids are in the car…
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©2007 Cecil McIntosh, B.B.M., CHt www.EmptyYourCup.com
Uncontrolled stress can be a killer!
• Increased social isolation and the decline of once-solid personal relationships that
are critical to good emotional health. We all need a support network. Stress and
depression can undo that support network in short order.
• Poor work performance that may lead to job loss – another stressor to add to the
pile.
• Increased alcohol consumption or use of contraband drugs to dull the senses and
relieve the anxiety. Tese may be temporary “cures” but the underlying problems
remain when the “buzz” wears of – and the cycle repeats itself each day.
OK, are we on the same page now?
Do you agree that stress is a problem? GOOD!
I thought so: TOO BUSY ... NOT ENOUGH TIME ... TOO MUCH STRESS!
VERY WELL! Let’s examine how we got ourselves into this situation in the frst place. We
have become overwhelmed because of something called the “busy-ness” paradox. We
think we need to be busy to be successful and productive. However not wanting to be idle
creates more stress.
Te root cause of most stressful situations and the “busy-ness” paradox fnds its origins
in the 21 Myths of Relaxation. Let’s take a closer look at the problem of stress in
contemporary life and the myths surrounding this phenomenon by talking with Wayne
Kelly about what you can do to control stress and even eliminate the stress triggers in
your life.
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©2007 Cecil McIntosh, B.B.M., CHt www.EmptyYourCup.com
21 MYTHS OF RELAXATION
Welcome to “Split Second Stress Relief: Stress Relief Strategies to Help You Stay Focused
to Meet Your Personal and Professional objectives.” We’re talking about Te 21 Myths of
Relaxation.
Myth #1: You need to avoid stress.
Wayne: Cecil, how do we do it?
Cecil: You might say, for example, “I don’t need to go to see the doctor and
have my physical,” so you avoid that. If you avoid going to the doctor to
get your physical, as you get older, a lot of health issues might come out
of that.
You’re saying that you need to avoid stress and the stress is going to the
doctor. In reality, you need to go to the doctor to fnd out if there are
any issues you need to deal with ahead of time. You’re actually stressing
yourself out more.
Te myth is that you think you shouldn’t be going, but you should be
going because of health issues.
Another example is going to the dentist. It’s the same thing. You might
say, “If I go to the dentist, it’s stressful because I don’t know what’s going
to happen.” Tat’s another myth.
It’s important that you go to the dentist. Tey check your gums and
teeth to make sure they’re fne. Realize that you don’t know how long
you’re going to live. You don’t want to discover later on that you don’t
have teeth or you have another health issue.
We avoid these things naturally, but the consequence is more pain and
sufering. As the years accumulate and we get older, we live longer and
start to see the efects.
Another issue may be paying taxes. You’re a small business person and
you might decide, “I’ll put my taxes of.” Tere again, you don’t want to
deal with the stress, have the accountant in, fle the papers and get the
stuf together. You’re saying you need to avoid it.
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©2007 Cecil McIntosh, B.B.M., CHt www.EmptyYourCup.com
When we do
what needs to
be done, we fnd
out that we are
more relaxed
and at peace
with ourselves.
In reality, that’s another myth. Reality is you have to pay your taxes to
the government. Otherwise, someone is going to come after you. It may
take you fve or 10 years, but sooner or later it’s going to catch up with
you.
Te whole myth is that we think we need to avoid these things because
we think they’re stressful. In reality, when we do what needs to be
done–whether it’s going to the doctor, dentist or paying taxes–we fnd
out that we are more relaxed and at peace with ourselves. When we put
our head down on the pillow at night, we feel more comfortable.
Te myth is you think you need to avoid it. But when you do it and face
up to it, the reality is that it becomes very relaxing and gives you peace
of mind. You’re more serene and you have more time with your family.
You keep on putting things of, saying, “It’s going to be stressful. I don’t
want to deal with it.”
You can look at any aspect of your life, whether it’s about money, family
or, more importantly, your health. Tat’s more important because I
work with heart, stroke and cancer patients in the hospital and I see
how many of them put things of. I see 29-year-old men living in the
hospital. I see 40-year-old young people in the hospital with strokes and
heart attacks.
I teach relaxation in the hospital by their bedside. When I talk to them,
they say, “Man, I never thought I would be in here. I never thought to
slow down.”
Te myth is if you keep on going, going, going all the time, you will
avoid everything bad and you will get what you want. Te myth is that’s
not going to happen. You could end up with a heart attack, stroke or all
kinds of health issues because the body can only take so much.
As soon as the body has had enough and you feel tension, you start to
see manifestations in the body.
Wayne: Is it hard for a lot of people to realize this until they’re actually lying in
a hospital bed?
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©2007 Cecil McIntosh, B.B.M., CHt www.EmptyYourCup.com
Cecil: Yes. I know this from my experience. I’m also a product of it because
when I came to Canada, I got my degree from a university. I actually
had forsaken everything my grandmother and the people in Barbados
taught me for the almighty dollar.
Wayne: What was the diference between your teachings in Barbados and in
Canada?
Cecil: Here in Canada, after I went to the university, I became consumed
with the idea that you have to go after the almighty dollar. You have
to make the big bucks. For me, it was work and money. Nothing else
really mattered. Tat’s not what I was taught in Barbados.
Wayne: What were you taught there?
Cecil: I was taught that you need to live a balanced life. Money was not the be
all and end all. Work was not the be all and end all. You need to have a
balanced situation.
I went to two extremes. One was work and the other one was seeking
the money. I did make the money. I got everything I wanted. Ten
I went bankrupt and I got divorced. Tat’s when I spun around and
reverted to what my grandmother taught me.
I’m actually a product of the process. Tis is what I’ve experienced
personally.
Myth #2: Stress stops you from having fun.
Wayne: Why is that, Cecil?
Cecil: Let me give you an example. I was teaching a meditation class once
and this gentleman was in class. He wanted to buy a home, but he said
he could not buy the home until he was out of debt and didn’t owe
anybody any money.
Te funny thing is, as you know, if you have a house, then you have to
have a mortgage. His wife was all upset with him because he didn’t buy
a house.
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©2007 Cecil McIntosh, B.B.M., CHt www.EmptyYourCup.com
Te issue here is stress stops you from having fun. He couldn’t relax
and go get the house because he was saying, “I have to get out of
debt. I have to get out of debt.” Tat’s where he got stuck.
What happens in accordance with having fun is we get attached to
something. Tis gentleman got attached to getting out of debt, but
as you know, you can’t really get out of debt because debt is a part of
living.
One of the issues we have here is attachment to something. Tat’s
the myth. We get so attached to it, whether it’s positive or negative,
that it blurs our vision.
I had another client who was looking for a job. He used to be a
drummer. He was so fxated on looking for a job that he couldn’t
even go drumming.
We stop having fun because we get so fxated on what we want. We
get attached to it. All we need to do in life is to let go. We need to
allow ourselves to stop and breathe.
Unfortunately, most of the time we don’t even know that we are
not stopping and breathing because we are so focused on what
we want to have. Tat focus is so specifc and tight that we ignore
everything else. Tat’s when we have health issues. Tat’s when we
have problems.
Te whole myth here is not about stress stopped you from having
fun. Te myth is that you get attached to something and that takes
over your life. It permeates your life, and then you get so caught up in
that whole windstorm that you forget about living and enjoying life.
Whatever that thing is, whether it’s buying the house, getting the job
or getting the promotion, you’re so focused on it that that’s all you
do. Life is not like that.
We need to live and enjoy life. When we get stuck in one particular
aspect of it, we’re not going to have any fun.
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©2007 Cecil McIntosh, B.B.M., CHt www.EmptyYourCup.com
All we need
to do in life
is let go.
Myth #3: Stress screws up your relationships.
Wayne: How does that happen?
Cecil: We really have to look at the root cause of this whole issue. What’s the
myth here? Te myth is not that stress screws up relationships. Te whole
myth is that nobody is listening.
What I mean by that is we have two tape recorders. Let’s assume it’s
you and your partner. Both tape recorder are speaking, but nobody’s
listening.
What’s the reason for that? Te challenge we have in communication is
that we are very seldom listened to. Everybody is talking, talking, talking,
but nobody is listening.
When people come to see me in my private practice, what happens is
everybody is talking but nobody takes the time to listen. You have two
tape recorders.
Tink of a conversation you had with whomever and when you last had
it. You fnd that as soon as you start a conversation and ask a question,
the person starts talking to you and then you seem to be cut of. People
cut you of to tell you something about themselves.
People have a desire to be heard, but nobody is listening to anybody.
It becomes very frustrating, especially in relationships when you’ve gone
to work, you come home to your partner and nobody is talking to each
other. “What happened today at work?” You start talking and your partner
says, “Well, this is what happened.”
We have been taught what’s called “communication.” What has bafed
me for 14 years in my private practice is people come to me and say,
“Cecil, we’ve done communication.” What about listening? I thought
communication was all about listening.
People seem to think they understand communication, but very few
people have been taught how to listen. It keeps folks from having a
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©2007 Cecil McIntosh, B.B.M., CHt www.EmptyYourCup.com
Very few
people have
been taught
how to listen.
relationship. Tat, in my opinion, is one of the biggest reasons for issues in
relationships. Nobody is listening to anybody because everybody wants to
say something.
We’re too busy to actually stop and say, “What is this person saying?” We
don’t take time to acknowledge this person, listen to them and give them
feedback. Everything is happening so fast and everybody is so busy that
nobody can take a break to actually listen to what somebody has to say.
Wayne: If somebody is stressed out, they need to step back and start listening. Tey
need to take that on themselves. Is that right?
Cecil: No. You can’t do that because you are too stressed out to even consider it.
You’re an intelligent person, we give you credit for that, but you’re tied up
in a knot. In that state, you’re oblivious to everything.
What I’ve found from my private practice is that nothing happens and this
continues and continues until somebody says, “I’m leaving the relationship,”
or “I’ve had enough of this. I’m going to go.”
Tat’s how clients come to me. Tey say, “Cecil, I’ve been to therapists and
I still have this problem. Nobody seems to help me. What’s the problem?”
Ten I say, “Nobody is listening to you.” I teach them how to listen, and then
all of a sudden the relationship comes back together and they are fne.
Te problem is that you need to hit a bump in a road or something has to
happen in that relationship so somebody says, “I’m leaving,” and then they
say, “We’d better get some help.”
Tat’s the only time both parties realize that nobody is listening, and it’s the
only time people can be helped.
Tis will continue and it will get worse. Everything is going faster and faster,
and that will continue and stress a relationship. It doesn’t matter if it’s you
and your partner, you and your boss, or you and your children. Nobody
listens to anybody.
I feel sorry for the children because most parents today don’t listen to their
children. Tey’re too busy being busy. We have a very serious problem here
and I don’t know what we’re going to do about it.
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©2007 Cecil McIntosh, B.B.M., CHt www.EmptyYourCup.com
Wayne: You’re going to fx it. Tat’s your challenge.
Cecil: Tat’s what I’m here for. We teach those who want to learn how to listen.
Unfortunately, these are the issues I’ve been dealing with in my last 14
years of private practice.
Myth #4: Stress creates health problems
Wayne: Tat is so true. Isn’t it, Cecil?
Cecil: Yes, it is. It’s especially true for busy business people, baby boomers
and moms. Te issue is that we are busy. When we’re busy, we forsake
everything. Tat is one problem. We’ve been taught to look after other
people before we look after ourselves.
For us to be selfsh and do something for ourselves goes against everything
we have been taught. Along with doing things for ourselves and looking
after our health is the emotion and issue of feeling guilty.
You need to look after your partner. You need to look after your children.
You need to look after the boss. You need to look after everybody.
Who comes last? You come last because you’re too busy looking after
everybody.
Te sad thing about looking after everybody else is that you know what
everybody wants specifcally. You attempt to satisfy them.
For example, if you’re a wife, you need to cook four to fve diferent meals
to satisfy the family or do things four or fve diferent ways. When doing
that, you seldom do things for yourself. Whatever they ask you to do,
you do it. You don’t do it for yourself. You’re too busy, “I don’t have time
to do what I want for myself. I should do it for others.”
I fnd that a lot of parents do everything for their children. If you don’t
believe what I’m saying, ask that child to take out the garbage and see
what they say to you. Te child will say, “Take out the garbage?”
What’s frustrating is you say, “I’ve done everything for this child. I’ve
done everything for this person. I ask them to do one simple thing for me
and they ignore me.”
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©2007 Cecil McIntosh, B.B.M., CHt www.EmptyYourCup.com
We become suckers when we do everything for everybody else. Everybody
knows, “He’ll do it,” or “She’ll do it. I won’t worry about it. Tey’ll take care
of everything.”
Te person who does it gets a lot of pleasure from being noticed. Tey’re
noticed for doing things for other people. What happens as a consequence
is that particular person forgets to do things for themselves. Tey get this
satisfaction and adulation from other people. For them to do things for
themselves is an issue.
For example, one of my clients went to the hair dresser and had her hair
tinted. She went back home and nobody noticed that she had her hair
done. She was mad. “Mad” is mildly put.
She said, “Cecil, nobody noticed me.” I said, “What do you mean, ‘noticed
you’?” She said, “I had my hair done.” I said, “So? Who did you get your
hair done for?” She said, “I did it so others would complement me.” I said,
“You can’t get your hair done for others. You have to get your hair done for
you. Who cares what other people think?”
Unfortunately, this society is a lot about what people think about you. I
totally disagree with it, but that’s the way we think we have to behave.
Te secret is that you have to be selfsh. When you begin to understand
what selfsh means, you’ll be amazed to see how much more respect people
will give you. Tey’ll be happy to give it to you. Tat’s a diferent story.
Te whole issue here is stress doesn’t create half of our problems. It is our
desire to satisfy other people that creates problems.
Myth #5: Your partner and money stress you out
Wayne: Cecil, it has nothing to do with your partner and money, does it?
Cecil: No, it doesn’t. Te issue is that money is a ticklish situation of contact.
When you are separate and single, you have your money. You have your
own habits. When you enter a relationship, there is a pooling of resources
because there are responsibilities that have to be met.
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©2007 Cecil McIntosh, B.B.M., CHt www.EmptyYourCup.com
Who cares
what other
people think?
Unfortunately, there is very little communication about who is supposed
to do what and what date it’s supposed be done. No one says, “Hon, we’re
supposed do this,” or “Were these things done?”
Nobody checks on the other person to make sure that they’re done. What
happens when a problem comes up is you assume it was paid. You get a
phone call about it. You say, “My wife paid it.” No.
Te issue is a lack of communication. We’re not talking, especially about
money.
Sometimes one party is making more money than the other. I’ve been
told that making more money makes the other person feel smaller.
In a relationship, you need to be able to discuss it. “Tese are the facts.
Tis needs to be done. Tat needs to be done.”
Today, one party may make more money than the other. Tomorrow, your
partner might be laid of or you might be laid of. It goes both ways. In
relationships, things fuctuate.
Wayne: Why does that even matter?
Cecil: It matters because there is a lack of communication. Tat is what the
whole issue is.
I had somebody phone me. She said, “Cecil, I’m dating this person and he
wants to get married.” I said, “What’s the problem?” She said, “I haven’t
fnished my university and this person has fnished. Tis person says it’s
okay.”
I said, “What the problem?” She said, “I want to fnish.” I said, “You will
get married. If the person can say that to you right now, then that person
understands. He might be making money today. You will go to university.
Some day, you’ll make money and maybe he won’t. It doesn’t matter.”
We get so attached to money. We don’t want to talk about it. Money is
something that needs to circulate and needs to fow. If you hold on to it
too tightly and get too attached to it, you will create a problem.
It is not that your partner and money stress you out. Te whole myth
here is that you do not have communication. Tere are all kinds of beliefs
about money and sharing, and what’s mine and what’s yours.
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If you really
understand what
a relationship
and commitment
mean, it doesn’t
matter who has
what.
If you really understand what a relationship and commitment mean, it
doesn’t matter who has what. Tat is nobody’s business.
It doesn’t matter where it gets paid from as long as it is paid. Tat is the
way it’s supposed to be. But because of our beliefs and ego, we want to
have one up on our partner. Tat creates problems. You shouldn’t do this,
but it happens.

Wayne: When we say that your partner and money stress you out, that is actually
just blaming, isn’t it?
Cecil: Yes. We need somebody to pick on and say, “Tis is somebody’s fault.”
Te reality is that in a relationship, you need to take responsibility as a
couple and make sure that everything is taken care of.
Everybody has issues. Whatever issues you have internally is a whole
diferent story. It has nothing to do with paying the bills and it has
nothing to do with your partner. We blame them because of a lack of
understanding. I call it ignorance.
Myth #6: Stress causes you to take many sick days
of from work
Wayne: Is that true or false, Cecil?
Cecil: Tis is a very interesting question and concern. It’s so interesting that I
actually created a product about it.
I met a lawyer many years ago. He said, “Cecil, one of my problems is I
take my work home. When I go home, I can’t spend time with my wife
and children because I take work home. I don’t know how to stop it.” Tat
is what triggered me. I thought, “Tis is a problem.”
Let’s assume you have a 9-to-5 job. Ten you go home to an unpaid job,
which is whatever you do when you get home.
What happens is there is no separation between work and home. You
started work at 7:00 a.m. and fnish at 3:00 p.m. You had a long day
without pause. You didn’t even breathe for the whole day because you
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went from one job to the other with no separation. Consequently, you
will be all stressed out.
I met a lady once who was all stressed out. She had migraine headaches
that started Monday. She looked forward to Friday because she had the
weekend of.
On the weekend, she would rest. At home, she would rest. Monday, she
would come back home not relaxed. She went through a whole cycle.
When I met her, I said, “Excuse me. What are you talking about?” She
said, “Cecil, I have a migraine on Monday. I know on Fridays, I’ll go
home and relax. Tat will be the end of that.” I said, “You’re crazy. Take
this CD and listen to it. Listen to the evening part of it.”
I saw her the next week. She said, “Cecil, the next day I had no problems.”
I said, “What do you mean no problem?” She said, “No migraine. I
didn’t realize that I was waiting until Friday to deal with the problem.
Tat was the only time I took a break.”
Out of fve days, she took a break on Friday. I said, “No, you need to
take a break every evening.”
You know that people take of work for a whole bunch of other reasons.
Tis is just an example of what caused someone to take of work. Tey
take of because they can’t handle stress. It becomes so profound
that they have to go to the doctor. Tey have to receive some form of
medication to help them cope. Tat is the whole issue.
Te other issue is that we are not focused. What do you focus on? In
the context of going to work, most people don’t know what they want
at work. Most people are in jobs that they don’t even like. Tey’re just
doing a job to make money. Tey can’t even say, “I don’t like this job. I
need to look for something else.” Tat doesn’t seem to be an option.
If you’re in a job you don’t like, that means that you’ll be out sick.
Something isn’t right. You’re not happy. Te consequence is that you’ll
be of work.
I don’t have the exact numbers, but there are statistics about how much
it costs employers when people are of work. Te work still has to be
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done. Tere is a big expense to the employer for people who are not at
work.
It’s a very simple. If the employees are taught how to stay focused and
deal with the stresses of life, how to separate work from home, then
the issue will be resolved quite easily. Te employer would have not
only employees that work, but also people who are now productive.
If you’re an entrepreneurial person, the same thing happens to you.
You won’t know it because you work for yourself. You won’t notice it.
It will afect you in the context that you are now behind the eight ball
with things that need to be done.
Te issue is that we don’t know how to separate work from home. I
created a product called Staying Connected so people can learn how
to solve that problem.
Wayne: It’s worse for entrepreneurs at home. You’re always working. You
always have the work right there in front of you.
Cecil: Yes, they don’t know how to stop and take a break. Unfortunately, it
afects their health.
What do they do? If they’re working long hours, they don’t notice it.
Other people tell them they’re working long hours, but they think,
“I’m an entrepreneur. I have to do it.” In reality, you do not have to
work those long hours.
If you are focused on what you want to do and you can separate your
work from home, then you’ll fnd that you have a lot more time to have
fun and to enjoy life. You’ll have better health and enjoy your family or
whatever you choose to do.
Myth #7: Stress causes you to hate yourself
Cecil: It does. I can use myself as an example. I am originally from Barbados.
When I was much younger, my mom told me not to go outside and
play. I decided to play in the house.
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What do you
focus on?
We were playing in the house and I was holding on to the rafters in the
house. I fell and hit my lip on the bottom of the bed and it split my lip. I
had to go to the hospital fve days that week and they looked after me.
I had this whole myth that my lips were large. I had these big lips. My lips
weren’t large. I just had this whole concept because of the experience I
had. I went through life with this concept that my lips were large.
I was in sales and I was in the public. I was doing all these things and I
had this idea in the back of my head that my lips were large. I didn’t hate
myself, I hated my lips, but I blamed myself. Tat created havoc in my
life.
What’s fascinating is if you think about it, there is a whole industry that
does facials. Tey do all kinds of body enhancements. I was teaching class
one day, standing in the middle of two ladies. I was within earshot of both
of these ladies talking at the same time.
Te lady on my left, the shorter lady, had large breasts and she was saying,
“Boy, these large breasts are so uncomfortable in the summer when it gets
hot. I wish they weren’t so large.”
On the other side, the lady was saying, “My breasts are so small. Boy, I
would like larger breasts.” I couldn’t believe it. I was in the middle of this
thing, left ear and right ear. It was like a song.
I have other clients who have marks on their faces. Our society says, “You
can fx anything. You can enlarge it or you can make it smaller.”
We seem to get caught up in this whole idea that we have to look the way
somebody decides we’re supposed to look. Whether it’s TV or the media,
I don’t know who it is, but somebody made this decision. Whoever made
this decision is very powerful because it’s a big industry out there.
Wayne: How do we change that? How do we change our thoughts about
ourselves?
Cecil: You frst have to accept that whatever you have is given to you for a reason.
If you can accept that, then you don’t have a problem.
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Let me go back to the situation with my lips. Where I solved mine was, at
some point in time, I had a girlfriend who kissed my lips. When she kissed
my lips, I realized that my lips were beautiful. Tat’s how I learned my
lesson. Tat was important for me.
I’m also bowlegged. I was in Barbados at some point in time. I had just
gotten of the plane and it was dark. I was standing in the middle of the
street. A friend of mine called and said, “Macky, what are you doing in
Barbados?” Tey call me Macky in Barbados.
I said, “How do you know that I’m in Barbados? I just got of the plane.”
He said, “You have bowlegs. I know your bowlegs.” You see, I used to be
a runner in Barbados and I was pretty successful at it, so they knew my
legs.
A lot of times the things that we think are negative, people use to remember
us or mark us. Tey’re beautiful.
I have been teaching my students that whatever you have is fne. I
have two ladies now who have marks on their face and they want to do
something about it. I had two ladies who came to me and they had breast
enhancements.
After working with me for a year, they had to ask themselves, “Why did we
waste our money?” I said, “Don’t look at me. I’m here to teach you.” Tey
said, “We wasted our money to get this done.” I said, “Yes, but you weren’t
working with me at the time, so forget about it. It’s a lesson learned.”
We don’t have to do these things, but because we don’t know what we want
for ourselves and we’re not happy with ourselves, we think we’re supposed
to be like somebody else. Who that somebody else is, I don’t really know.
We seem to get so caught up in the, “I want to be like Harry or Jane.” I say,
“How about you?” I believe, personally, that we have been put here on this
earth with phenomenal gifts. Each of our gifts is unique. Tis would be a
much better place if we shared that gift with the world.
My gift is to teach relaxation and meditation to you. Tat’s my gift.
Fortunately for me, I know what it is.
If we would take the time to accept ourselves, we would learn more about
ourselves and become more confdent with whatever we have. Whatever
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©2007 Cecil McIntosh, B.B.M., CHt www.EmptyYourCup.com
Accept that
whatever you
have was given
to you for a
reason.
we have, we ought to share with the world and make the world a better
place.

Myth #8: Stress causes you to not exercise
Wayne: Tat’s pretty true, isn’t it? Tat’s the frst thing to go when you’re
stressed out.
Cecil: When we’re stressed out, we may blame the stress for lack of exercising.
But the reality is that we need to have a purpose in life.
You need to decide what you want. Tis is the challenge that most
of us have. It doesn’t matter where you are in life. You need to know
what you want. Te most important thing is to accept yourself at the
moment where you are.
Let’s assume you’re overweight, for example. You need to accept that.
Te challenge is to accept that you’re overweight. “Stress causes you
to avoid exercising,” is not really the issue here. Te issue is that you
haven’t accepted where you are. You have to accept, “Tis is where I
am right now.”
Let’s assume you are going on a holiday. You phone the travel agency
and say, “I want to go on holiday.” Te travel agent says, “Fine. Where
do you want to go?”
Let’s say you want to go to Barbados. Te travel agent needs to know
where you are at the moment in order to book the fight. Tey can’t get
you there if they don’t know where you are starting from.
It’s the same thing with avoiding exercise. You need to know where
you are right now. If you’re overweight, you’re overweight. So what?
Knowing where you are makes it easy for you to take the steps that are
necessary to do what you want to do.
If you go into denial and decide, “I am not overweight. Tere’s nothing
wrong with me,” that is where the problem is. Nobody can help you
because you decided there is nothing wrong with you.
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Te secret here is to accept and acknowledge that there is a problem,
whatever the problem happens to be. In this case, it’s a weight issue.
Accept that issue. Work with it so that you can tell people, “I’m working
on it.”
If you are avoiding it, people will know you’re avoiding it. Tey’re not
going to say anything to you. But if you say to them or, in your mind
decide that this is something you’re going to deal with it, then the energy
shifts.
Another issue I fnd with weight loss is that a lot of times, people are
minding other people’s business. Tey’re so busy doing their thing for
other people, they get caught up in it and forget about themselves.
One way they forget about themselves is they put on weight. Tere are
a number of things they are not doing for themselves anymore. Tat is a
consequence of not exercising. Not exercising creates all kinds of health
issues.
Te whole issue is to admit that there is a problem.
You might have had an issue like your mother passed away or something
might have happened in your life that created a problem for you. You
might have a divorce, separation, whatever. Tese things do happen.
Yes, they happen and you forget or stop doing things. But step back
and admit that you’re not doing exercise. You’re not doing what you’re
supposed to do. Get back to that. Nobody can really help you until you
realize, “Tis is my problem.”
If you say, “I have an issue with exercising,” then you will fnd the
appropriate person that can facilitate you with exercising. Tat’s what
you need to do in order to solve the problem.
”Stress causes you to not exercise” is not the myth. Te myth is that you
don’t really know what you want. When you decide what you want, you
will get what you want.
If you decide what you want clearly and get the appropriate facilitation,
then you’ll be amazed at how quickly you can solve the problem.
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Knowing where
you are makes
it easy for you
to take the
steps that are
necessary to do
what you want
to do.
One of the things I fnd that most people do is that they are not very
specifc about want. Tey want in a specifc context. It is what people
tell them they should or shouldn’t be doing. How is that related to
whatever you want?
Until you decide what you want, it doesn’t matter whether it is
exercising, dieting or whatever, you will have the same problem. You
haven’t decided what you want. You’ve allowed other people to decide
how you should live your life and then complain about it later on.

Myth #9: Stress causes you to eat the wrong foods
Wayne: Why is that a myth?
Cecil: It’s a myth because most people I’ve talked to seem to skip a meal. Tis is
from my personal experience. Te meal they seem to skip is breakfast.
What happens when they skip breakfast is they somehow want to catch
up at lunch. When they come home for dinner, because they missed
breakfast, they want to have breakfast and then have dinner.
Tat’s the pattern I’ve noticed. Tey skip a meal, but still need to get that
meal in somewhere along the line. Tey come home and have breakfast
at suppertime. After suppertime breakfast, they tend to want to have
supper.
When you miss a meal, what I fnd is that you eat whatever is there to
fll that void.
Our system needs to refuel and be nourished. If the system isn’t
nourished, it’s going to scream at you. When it screams at you, you
have to put something in there because you didn’t have a plan, didn’t
have directions and haven’t decided what you want.
You are going to have to put something into your system. Te frst thing
that’s available, you’re going to put in, whether you like it or not.
“Stress causes me to eat the wrong food,” is not the myth. Te myth
is, “We are not eating properly.” Ten we get hungry wherever we are.
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We have to take whatever is there. We’re so exhausted, we can’t go any
further. We eat the wrong food because we’re missing a meal. Usually, it’s
breakfast. When you miss that meal, it throws everything of.
Te sad thing about that is if you function like that, as an entrepreneur,
busy business person, working mom or baby boomer, you start missing
those meals, you eat the wrong foods and then the whole system starts
to back up on you. It’s going to create all kinds of healthy issues.
Te whole thing about eating the wrong foods is not about eating the
wrong foods. It’s the consequences of eating the wrong foods. You get
involved in that, then have all kinds of health issues. Ten you have to
deal with the health issues.
A lot of times, it’s simply a matter of having proper meals. Tat can often
balance things out, depending on to what degree you have been into this
bad habit of missing meals.
Wayne: Cecil, if you eat the right meals, is that going to help with your stress
level?
Cecil: If you eat properly and have three meals, it helps a lot. Te body needs
fuel. You can’t drive a car without putting gas in it. It’s the same thing
with you as a person. In order to function, you need to have something
in your system.
For example, I always suggest that people have some fruit in the morning.
Have your breakfast. Have your lunch. Have your dinner.
One day, I was teaching meditation. I noticed that in the class, they were
hungry. Tey had skipped a meal. I had to go fnd food for them to eat
before I taught. Nobody would listen to me.
What happens if children go to school hungry? If you don’t feed the
children, they can’t function. Teir brain can’t function if there is no
food.
I was in this class to teach. I realized they were hungry. I sense it through
the energy. I said, “Look. Get something to eat. Go buy something.” Ten
I had a very receptive class. Nobody was listening to me when they were
hungry.
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A lot of times,
it’s simply
a matter of
having proper
meals.
One of the things I have found is that if people aren’t eating properly,
their attention span is very short. You learn to spot it and make sure
that the people get something to eat. When they get something to eat,
it’s much easier for you to facilitate them and teach them.
Myth #10: Stress causes you to be angry with your partner
because your partner works long hours
Wayne: Is that all because of stress?
Cecil: Yes and no. Te issue is that you know what kind of work your partner
is doing. For example, my wife is a nurse and works 7:00 to 3:00. She’s
supposed to fnish work at 3:00. If someone is admitted to the foor, my
wife could be there another hour and a half.
If I go pick her up after work and she tells me she has to work another
hour and a half, there’s nothing I can get upset about. Tat’s just the
nature of her work. You need to understand that’s just the way it is.
Some of us understand this. Tere’s no point in getting angry with the
person.
Wayne: I would think you are very unique there. Most people who have to wait
for their spouse for an hour and a half would be going crazy.
Cecil: Initially, I wondered about it but what I discovered is that is the nature
of her business. To put it in context, I work from home. My clients
know I go pick up my wife at 3:00 so there are no appointments then.
Te whole thing is about understanding the nature of the business.
Wayne: So you readjusted your schedule.
Cecil: I have to make the adjustment in my life and say, “Here’s what it is.”
Another example, my wife also works 3:00 to 11:00. I need to make an
adjustment and I choose to make this adjustment. When she comes
home at 12:30 at night, I can spend some time with her.
Tis means every two weeks I’m on a diferent vibration. We teach in
our relaxation programs that you can’t decide how you want to live
your life. You’ve got to take the situations and make adjustments to
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them. When my wife comes home late at night, instead of her being up
alone and I’m sleeping, I spend one or two hours with her.
I’ve made that adjustment. Te whole thing is you’re supposed to
support your partner. Tat’s how I do it. I support her by being with
her and spending time with her. Tis means every two weeks I’m on a
diferent time schedule but it allows our relationship to grow. She knows
it doesn’t matter what shift she’s on, I’ll spend some time with her.
In a partnership, we need to understand adjustments have got to be
made. You partner might get a promotion or travel a lot. It’s just the
nature of the business. You need to make the adjustments.
You can’t say, “Tis is the way it was before we met and it’s supposed to
continue this way.” Life changes so quickly that we don’t have a say in
the matter. Te secret is how you make the adjustments to whatever is
presented to you.
What we teach in our process is you need to be able to make the
adjustment no matter what is presented to you. Make the adjustment,
refocus, relax anywhere anytime, in spite of what’s happening around
you.
Tat’s the key. It’s the only way you can go because you have no say in
how things are going to work out. If you have the tools to make the
adjustments then it’s irrelevant what happens, you don’t really care.

Myth #11: Stress causes you to be in the hospital
with chest pains
Wayne: Tat is stress, isn’t it? How can that be a myth, Cecil?
Cecil: I can use myself as a personal example. I had my physical yesterday. I
have a doctor I’ve known now for over 35 years.
I went to his ofce with a pain in my chest. I remember this very vividly.
He actually personally took me out of his ofce, downstairs to his car
and to the emergency room.
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When I got to emergency room, I said, “What am I doing here?” Tat’s
when I discovered I had some issues. Te myth here is not about stress
causing you to be in the hospital with chest pains.
I was working for a major corporation which was very stressful. I wasn’t
making the adjustment very well. Te whole problem was that I wasn’t
taking care of myself. I was very busy working at their schedule.
Yes, it was a very stressful situation but I never took control. I never was
focused enough to solve the problem. When I got to the hospital, I realized,
“I have to have a diferent look at my life.”
When I looked at my life, I discovered I wasn’t focused enough. I was
taking too many breaks. I was goofng of. I decided, “I have to solve this
problem.”
I decided to work from 9 to 3. It was a very high-paying job and very
stressful but I was working all weekends and nights. I thought, “Tis is
ridiculous.”
I decided I would work from 9 to 3 but it would be tight, meaning my
breaks would be very tight and whenever I fnished a sale I would write up
the sale then and there. I would do everything tight, and at three o’clock,
I would be fnished. Whatever got done between 9 and 3 would get done
and there would be no weekends, nothing.
It was the most productive year I ever had. All of a sudden, I didn’t blink. I
just said, “Tis is what I want to do.” Tis was a message to me to smarten
up. I was amazed at how much I accomplished and how sharp, efective
and productive I was.
Tat’s when I started to learn NLP, Neuro-Linguistic Programming.
I realized, “I have some free time now. What do I do with it?” I started
doing some personal development seminars. NLP is one of the fascinating
things I started to play with.
Tat whole issue of stress causing you to be in the hospital with chest pain
is a myth because I wasn’t looking out for myself. I wasn’t focused. I was
attempting to do too many things and was all over the place.
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In a
partnership,
we need to
understand
adjustments
have got to be
made.
When I admitted that there was a health issue, I decided, “Fine, if there is
a health issue, how do I solve the health issue?” You solve the health issue
by being focused. I ate properly and stayed 9 to 3. I was very efective and
efcient to do something else.
People say, “How can you be so busy and get work done?” You can get work
done if you’re focused. When you’re focused, it’s amazing how much you
can accomplish.
As a consequence of being aware that there was a discomfort and pain in my
chest, that made me more aware of my health and helped me to understand,
“Tis is your health. You need to look after yourself.”
I was very involved in the community looking after everybody else except
myself. Tis was a message to me saying, “Uh, uh. It’s time for you to stop.”
When I stopped to pay attention to that, that’s when my whole gift of
relaxation and meditation was able to come true. I realized I had a gift and
wasn’t using it.
Te chest pain for me was very profound because it triggered a ripple efect
in regard to health that has allowed me to be where I am today and to teach
what I do today.
Myth #12: Stress can cause you to have a nervous breakdown
Wayne: Cecil, why is that a myth?
Cecil: It’s a myth because sometimes we lose focus.
Let me tell you a story about an experience I had while working in the
corporate world. Tere was a young gentleman who was determined to
become the president of this particular company where I was working. He
was going to do any and everything to accomplish this.
He and his manager got along quite well. He would ofend a lot of people
and do a lot of things he wasn’t supposed to do in order to get in his opinion
where he needed to be going. He ofended a lot of people in many diferent
ways.
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When you’re
focused, it’s
amazing how
much you can
accomplish.
He and the manager were doing well and he ofended people. Ten the
manager got promoted and left him where he was. Tere were about 25
or 30 people with the same qualifcations in the organization. It wasn’t
likely for him to move up. He had created so much havoc among the
sales reps that nobody really liked him.
His manager had been promoted. Te next thing he knew, he was of
from work and having health issues. I don’t know if it was a nervous
breakdown.
Te challenge wasn’t the outcome to reach whatever position he wanted
to reach in the company. His challenge was he didn’t care how he did it.
He was ruthless about it.
Te myth is that he had to be ruthless in order to get what he needed
to get. Te consequence of his ruthlessness was that his health sufered.
Tere was no reason for him to treat anybody the way he did. Tey
were not children, but he treated everyone like a child. Tat was the
challenge he had.
Sometimes we have an outcome it is not ecological, which means you
can’t do it in a balanced way without ofending people.

He ofended everybody, and at that point in time he fgured he was doing
very well. He had a wonderful position and he was moving up. As time
went on, it became very frustrating for him because he was ofending
more people than he needed to. It was totally unnecessary.
Sometimes when we go against the fow, we have to sufer the
consequences.
You really need a system you can stay focused on and apply anywhere.
Tat’s what he needed, but he didn’t know any better.
A lot of this whole concept of nervous breakdowns and health issues
is ignorance in achieving whatever we want. We don’t know how to go
about doing it, so we do it the only way we know.
Te way we were conditioned as young children in a lot of cases is not
good for us. As a consequence, there are a lot health issues and in some
cases, a nervous breakdown.
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©2007 Cecil McIntosh, B.B.M., CHt www.EmptyYourCup.com
When we go
against the
fow, we have
to sufer the
consequences.

Myth #13: Stress causes you to avoid having
your annual physical
Wayne: Is that not just a time issue?
Cecil: It’s not a time issue. If you had a business, at the end of the year, you would
take stock. If you had a crop, at the end of the year, you would have a
harvest. If you have a car, there are certain times you have maintenance
checks. If you have a house, there is a mortgage and insurance.
Everything comes up for renewal at a particular time. We do these things
on a regular basis.
What happens to the annual physical? Te annual physical is something
that is taken for granted because it’s about us. We don’t want to deal
with ourselves.
In my 14 years of private practice, I have found that we put ourselves in
the background. We only pay attention when there are health issues or
consequences for lack of looking after ourselves.
I asked an interesting question the other day. I asked someone, “Do you
have a heart?” and they said, “Yes.” I asked, “Which side is it on?” and
they had no clue! Tat’s the problem. We take our bodies for granted.
We have issues with looking after the body and think it will always be
the way it is.
If you look at yourself, you’ll see that when you were 15 years old, you
had more endurance. Tere’s a diference when you get 20, 25 or 30.
Te body needs to be looked after. It needs to have an annual check-up.
For some reason we think that at our annual physical, we’ll be invaded
and have to show the scorecard. We can hide it and not have to go. We
think we don’t need the annual exam, but it’s okay to make sure any
material asset we have is looking good.
What happens if we can’t look after the house or car? You look at that if
it’s broken, but who looks after you? If you don’t do your annual physical
then have health issues and end up in the hospital, people tend to forget
about you.
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©2007 Cecil McIntosh, B.B.M., CHt www.EmptyYourCup.com
Te older we
get, the more
maintenance
the body needs.
We choose to ignore the annual physical because of lack of understanding
of how important it is to look after our bodies.
Te older we get, the more maintenance the body needs. If there is
something wrong, that’s why we have doctors. Doctors say to you, “Here’s
what is wrong. Here’s how to deal with it.”
Go to your doctor. Find out what the doctor has to say. Keep the doctor
informed. When I do my healing and they go back to the doctor, I say, “Give
the doctor the credit. Let’s not fght with the doctor.”
Te whole myth is it is not good to take care of yourself, but it’s okay to take
care of all your material assets.
Myth #14: Stress causes you to avoid going to the dentist
Wayne: Tis is very similar to the physical, is it not?
Cecil: Yes, it is. I was talking to one of my clients and she said, “Going to the
dentist for me is like the gynecologist. He checks all over me.” I said, “So
what?” She said, “He sees all my imperfections and I don’t particularly want
to go there.”
We have this myth that when we go to the dentist, the dentist will check us
out and see all of our imperfections.
I’ve noticed over the years that dentists have changed their technology.
Now some of them say that the whole treatment is painless. Te technology
in dentistry has improved tremendously. As far as I know, dentists are very
efcient in what they do.
Te challenge is then, “What stops you from wanting to go to the dentist?”
Tere is no longer the excuse that it’s painful. Te technology has shifted.
I can only agree with what this lady said. I have my imperfections and I
don’t really want dentists to check out all of my imperfections. Tat seems
to be the issue here.
Te important thing about going to the dentist is if you have any gum
diseases or oral or tongue cancer, the doctor can catch it early. What is
does for you from a health perspective is protect you.
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©2007 Cecil McIntosh, B.B.M., CHt www.EmptyYourCup.com
Seeing that we live longer, it’s very important that we know what health
issues we have and get the appropriate help.

Myth #15: Stress causes you to go bankrupt
Wayne: Cecil, is it the stress that causes bankruptcy?
Cecil: No, the stress has nothing to do with bankruptcy. I’ll say that emphatically.
It has nothing to do with stress.
Te reason why I personally went bankrupt was because I thought I
could speed things up. I could make my millions faster than everyone
else. “What are these other guys talking about? Who cares? Let’s make it
fast.”
I lived the life after graduating. I was in the fast lane. I did everything so
fast and so quick. I got everything I wanted. I made the money I wanted
to make and had the investments. But I lost it all.
I discovered that in life there is a process. Tink of birth. It takes about
nine months to deliver. If you think of investing, it takes a process. You
can’t force it. You can’t make it happen faster.
Tat’s the way most people are living. Everybody wants to do things
quicker and faster. When I went bankrupt, I actually pushed the button. I
was driving in the fast lane at 200% faster than I was supposed to drive. I
wanted it yesterday.
Life is not like that. It’s a process. You need to follow and go with the
process. If you plant a crop, there’s a harvest. You have to take the time
before you harvest it. Tat’s what it’s all about.
In the context of investing and making the almighty dollar, I was under
the false pretense that I could do it faster than anybody else. I paid the
consequence. However, I learned my lesson. Tat’s why I teach a relaxation
system now where you need to stay focused and take it step-by-step.
z| `r·e---`rc¡¡e· [c·¬u|~- lc· ~ |e~|r|n ~:J |~¡¡n |.le ¯¯
©2007 Cecil McIntosh, B.B.M., CHt www.EmptyYourCup.com
Life is a
process.
You need to
follow and
go with that
process.
Myth #16: Stress causes you to have an afair
Wayne: Obviously, it’s not the stress that causes that, is it?
Cecil: As usual, as humans we always fnd an excuse for everything. Tat’s what
we want to do. We blame everybody.
One gentleman said to me that he had many afairs. One day, he took a
look at himself and said, “Okay, I’m having all these afairs.” He said that the
more afairs he had ,the emptier he got. He thought if he had these afairs,
it would be so exciting. Tere was some attention and communication.
When he analyzed and looked at it, there was nothing. He was emptier than
he had ever been in his life. He found it was just a band-aid approach.
He found he had a problem. He needed to look at himself to fnd out why
he couldn’t get what he wanted in a particular relationship.
He realized he had issues of running. If something didn’t work, he would
constantly run away. He never stayed to face the music. He never stayed
to face the idiosyncrasies of his partner or he ignored them. He always
thought they were supposed to be perfect and if they weren’t perfect, he
would just go someplace else.
When he looked at himself, he recognized that he wasn’t perfect, either.
Ten he said, “If I’m not perfect, what am I supposed to do? Run away
from myself?” Tat was the rude awakening for him in that he needed
to have an afair with himself. He needed to get to know himself and his
strengths and weaknesses.
When I worked with him and helped him in that area, he had a completely
diferent perspective on afairs. Now, an afair is something he has with
himself rather than with another person.
Wayne: If somebody is going through this, they need to know that it is in them.
What advice do you have for them?
Cecil: Look and see what are you avoiding and what are you running from.
Usually, it is communication. It can be money issues. You might fnd that
you have nothing in common with the partner you have. You have to
fgure out what the problem is.
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©2007 Cecil McIntosh, B.B.M., CHt www.EmptyYourCup.com
You need
to look at
yourself to
fnd out why
you can’t get
what you
want in a
particular
relationship.
You have to identify the problem. What is it you don’t like that says to
you, “I want to go someplace else?” Tat is the frst thing you do. When
you identify that, you can choose to get some help.
When you get the help, you may fnd you have a really wonderful partner.
Instead of throwing the partner out and looking for another one and
repeating the pattern, you can fnd out what the issue is and deal with it,
then carry on and have a wonderful life.
Myth #17: Stress stops you from taking a break
Wayne: Cecil, we just don’t want to stop, do we?
Cecil: We think we need to go, go, go. Life is not like that. You need to breathe.
I’ve noticed in my private practice that parents seem to have the concept
that they need to look out for their children. I see this a lot in baby
boomers. Tey see their children through. Tey go to soccer and college
or university.
Tey spend a lot of time working with their children to get them to college
or university. In the interim, they’ve accumulated some material goods
but the focus is on the child.
Ten the child graduates from the university. At that point in time, the
husband and wife have spent so much time devoted to the children that
they forget to communicate between themselves.
As a consequence, you have this beautiful home with the mortgage paid
of and are together now because the children have left to get married but
you don’t have anything in common because all of the time seems to have
been spent getting the children where they needed to go.
We need to understand that everything grows together. You don’t have to
stop growing because the children have stopped growing. Everything is a
process and everything continues to fow together.
As your children are growing, you need to continue to grow. You need to
communicate with your partner. Any time you choose to stop that, there
will be some health issues.
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©2007 Cecil McIntosh, B.B.M., CHt www.EmptyYourCup.com
You cannot wait until the child has graduated to say, “Okay, now partner,
let’s communicate.” It needs to be a total process. You need to do things
together and incorporate the children. You also need to expect that your
children will leave home at some point in time. Sometimes the myth is
that the children will always be there.
You need to take a break for yourself. If you are not taking a break, who
will look after the child or the child’s education if you’re not well? You
need to take a break so you can be healthy enough to not only look after
your children but to enjoy your children and your partner.
Myth #18: Stress causes you to “be” the business
Wayne: Is this a bad thing, being the business?
Cecil: I think being the business is an extremely bad thing. If you own your
own business, you work in a business or have a business that deserves
your attention, the challenge here is if you become the business, then all
you’re doing is you are working and making money. Everything else goes
out the window because you are the business.
What needs to happen is the business needs to run itself whether you are
an entrepreneur, you own the business, or anything you do in the context
of the business.
It is really important that you understand this because from a health
perspective, you cannot go 24/7.
Let’s assume you get called away from your business. Do you have
structures in place to look after the business? Tis is where the business
can actually fold because you are all there is to it.
I believe all of us have all been born with a special gift. Te really
important business we should be in is the business of fnding out what is
unique about us, what we are good at. When we fnd out what we’re good
at, we should focus on that.
Tere are a lot of things we don’t particularly want to do. For me, I
don’t like to do bank reconciliation. I just don’t want to do it. I know it’s
important, but I don’t want to do it. I hire someone to do it.
z| `r·e---`rc¡¡e· [c·¬u|~- lc· ~ |e~|r|n ~:J |~¡¡n |.le ¯¬
©2007 Cecil McIntosh, B.B.M., CHt www.EmptyYourCup.com
You need to
take a break
for yourself.
Te whole business that we should be in is the business of fnding out what
is unique about us, our products and our services. Find out what that is and
focus on it.
Whatever other services you need, you can bring the experts in. Tat way,
you have a stronger foundation. You are providing the uniqueness of your
business to your clients and you’re hiring the other people to support you.
Ten you have a phenomenal business, which you can take of and leave
whenever you choose to.
Te whole concept here is that stress causes you to be the business. No. You
don’t need to be the business.


Myth #19: Stress causes you to strive for more and more
material assets
Wayne: Tat’s not really stress, is it?
Cecil: No it’s not, but that’s the myth. Te myth is that it’s stress. We have been
taught from a young age to acquire material assets. Tat’s the barometer.
Tat tells us that we’ve “arrived.”
Wayne: If that’s what you’re focused on, does that not cause more and more
stress?
Cecil: Initially, it doesn’t appear that way. It appears that you are after your
outcome and that it’s okay.
It’s like going to the bufet table. You go up to the bufet table and see all
your favorite stuf. You have a choice. You can take a little bit and come back
tomorrow, or you can take as much as you want and become constipated.
What we do in the context of the material assets is we become constipated
because we just want more and more and more. After a while, the constipation
sets in because we’re not happy and we’re not going anywhere.
You say, “I thought I needed material assets.” Yes, your assets are important.
Material assets are necessary for us to function in some form or fashion,
but excess is where the problem is.
z| `r·e---`rc¡¡e· [c·¬u|~- lc· ~ |e~|r|n ~:J |~¡¡n |.le ¯¯
©2007 Cecil McIntosh, B.B.M., CHt www.EmptyYourCup.com
Te question then is, “If you want more and more material assets, who do
you need them for?” What I’ve discovered from my experience is a lot of
us need them for attention or to prove something in a material context.
Tat’s fne, but the consequence is you’ll pay with your health.
It’s going after the material assets, focusing on that and neglecting your
family, your children and your wife that puts a lot of stress on you. Over
the years, that stress accumulates because you’re not really interested in
anything else but material assets.
You still have to live your life. You still have to communicate with your
family and whoever is around you. You might have the material assets,
but I’ve seen a lot of cases where people have the material assets and I see
them in the hospital. Tey say, “Cecil, I never thought I would be in here.”
We don’t understand that we need to have a balance in life. You just can’t
go focusing on the material. We also have to look at ourselves internally
and what helps us to stay healthy so that we can enjoy our lives.

Myth #20: Stress stops you from enjoying sex
Cecil: Tat’s what people say. People are looking for an excuse to say, “Stress is
stopping me from doing this.” It’s like, “I have a headache. I need to take a
pill.”
Te whole issue here is that we’re too busy. Life is moving very quickly.
Because we are materially based and we need to accumulate more, we tend
to go so quickly that when it comes to having sex or spending time with
your partner, you’re all stressed out. You want to go to sleep.
One of my clients said that for her, sex was a way to control. She felt very,
very powerful. She said, “If I don’t get what I want, then I’m going to
withhold sex.” Tat’s one way of doing it. Other people have mentioned
that they get angry and hold grudges, or they focus on the kids. Most of
all, they don’t take care of themselves.
Te whole issue about enjoying sex boils down to you having a focus on
what you really want. When you understand what you really want, then
you will decide what’s important for you. Is it okay to be angry and hold
z| `r·e---`rc¡¡e· [c·¬u|~- lc· ~ |e~|r|n ~:J |~¡¡n |.le ¯s
©2007 Cecil McIntosh, B.B.M., CHt www.EmptyYourCup.com
Te whole
issue about
enjoying sex
boils down to
you having a
focus on what
you really
want.
grudges? Is it okay to be busy? You have to decide what’s important and
what you want.
Any time you decide what you want, you can have it. Whether it’s sex or
money, we have to decide what’s important in our lives and how it would
afect our family. Tat’s what we have to decide now to be in a healthy
relationship.
When we decide what we want, then that’s what will happen. We can focus
on that and we can get the appropriate help if needed. Tat’s what needs to
happen for us to relax. Until we learn to do that, we’re not going to relax.
Myth #21: Stress creates an imbalance
Cecil: In life, whatever you focus on is what you’re going to get. If I use myself as
an example, I focused on work and making money.
When there is a very, very strong attachment to something, we call it
focus. We call it tunnel-vision. We call it what we need to call it, which is
wonderful. It does serve a purpose.
What you will discover along the way is that’s not all there is to it.
I was in a seminar one day where there were a number of millionaires
doing presentations. I actually did a little survey. I like to sneak up and do
surveys.
I did surveys of some very, very successful people. I found all of them did
very well successfully, but some of them were so tunnel vision on success
that they suppressed their feelings. What I did was ofered them some
relaxation techniques that would force them to get in touch with their
feelings. Tey couldn’t do it.
When we’re so tunnel vision, we forget about our feelings. We forget about
how we feel, especially men. We don’t want to express our feelings.
As a consequence of not expressing our feelings, we get attached to
something. Tat attachment creates imbalance. Tat imbalance means
that the body becomes out of balance. When the body becomes out of
balance, there are health issues, heart attacks and strokes.
z| `r·e---`rc¡¡e· [c·¬u|~- lc· ~ |e~|r|n ~:J |~¡¡n |.le ¯·
©2007 Cecil McIntosh, B.B.M., CHt www.EmptyYourCup.com
We don’t
understand
that we need to
have a balance
in life.
All these things are going to happen because we get so attached to
something. Yes, the attachment brings us success, but over a period of
time you’ll fnd that you’d better change your methods. You’d better bring
all the other things into place. You can bring your family in. You need to
have better communication with your partner.
You need to have more fun. We’re not having enough fun because we get
too serious about accumulating material assets. Tat’s where the imbalance
comes in. If you can incorporate fun in whatever you’re doing, then that’s
balance.
Stress creates an imbalance. Tat’s a whole myth. Te myth is that we need
to have fun and enjoy life.
Whether we’re making a lot of money or a little bit of money is irrelevant.
As long as we’re having fun, we’re doing well and we have a balanced life.
Wayne: Cecil, I would imagine everybody has been so far out of balance that they
wouldn’t know it if they were in balance. What are they going to feel?
Cecil: When you’re in balance, here’s what happens. People who want to learn
meditation go study meditation and learn relaxation. When you’re in
balance, you are the meditation. You are the relaxation. It’s like a magnet.
Everything comes to you.
I have a client right now and this is phenomenal. He’s out there building
a home and he says, “Tings just happen when I need them to. I’m not
looking for anybody. Everybody comes to me.”
Tat energy shifts and people come to you. Tey want to give you something.
Tey want to help you. Tat’s when you know you’re in balance. Imbalance
is the opposite. You’re fghting, you’re screaming and nobody wants to talk
to you.
Balance is when everything just fows along. If there’s a hiccup, you
acknowledge the hiccup and observe. Tat, too, will go by and then you’ll
be back in balance again. I’m not saying that because you’re in balance,
there won’t be any hiccups. Tere will be hiccups, but as a result, everything
comes to you.
z| `r·e---`rc¡¡e· [c·¬u|~- lc· ~ |e~|r|n ~:J |~¡¡n |.le -o
©2007 Cecil McIntosh, B.B.M., CHt www.EmptyYourCup.com
What you
focus on is
what you’re
going to get.
Ready for a Better Life?
Te 21 Principles you’ve just discovered are the starting point for turning stress into success
in your life. Practicing these principles on a daily basis will give you the results you want.
For example:
• Getting twice as much done with 50% less efort.
• Converting stress into positive energy.
• Conquering stress and sleeping well through the night
Ignoring these principles can have devastating efects, as shown in study after study.
Te facts speak for themselves:
• 50 million Americans have high blood pressure due to uncontrollable stress. (35%
don’t even know it!)
• 13% of all deaths worldwide are related to stress and hypertension.
• Stress is related to fve million premature deaths each year.
• An Australian report indicates that 16% of terminal kidney disease is caused by
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• Depression and stress will be the #1 cause of job-related diseases in the coming
century.
• 73% of diabetics experience hypertension also called high blood pressure.
• $300 billion is spent each year on stress-based compensation claims, absenteeism
and high employee turnover rates. If you have a business do you know how much
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• A report from the UK indicates that 66% of those being treated for hypertension still
have high blood pressure. (If you have been battling high blood pressure and other
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You’ve been introduced to the basics of transforming stress into success. You don’t
need to succumb to any of these issues. All it takes is some easy daily application.
But that simple fact presents a challenge. A challenge I have already solved for you ...
21 Stress-Stopper Formulas for a Healthy and Happy Life 41
©2007 Cecil McIntosh, B.B.M., CHt www.EmptyYourCup.com
In working with thousands of people from every culture around the world, we’ve found that
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21 Stress-Stopper Formulas for a Healthy and Happy Life 42
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