Taking The Husband's Name After Marriage - Not Based on Shareeah

By Asma bint Shameem

In our eagerness to copy the West, we Muslims have adopted many of their practices which have no basis in the Shareeah. And among them is the practice of a woman changing her family name to that of her husband after she gets married. The fact is that Islam does not require woman to change her name at marriage and there is nothing in the Sunnah to indicate that a woman should take her husbands name after she gets married. Actually, the Ulama tell us that this is an innovated practice that is not approved of in Islaam. Now, I know some people will say Oh, come onWhat is the big deal?!! So read on and you will know what I mean.

The wives of the Prophet (Sal Allaahu Alaiyhi wa Sallam) are the Mothers of the Believers, and the Prophet (Sal Allaahu Alaiyhi wa Sallam), is the noblest of people and the best example. And yet when we look at their example, we will realize that when the Prophet(Sal Allaahu Alaiyhi wa Sallam) married any of his wives, NOT ONE of them took his name. On the contrary, each one of them kept her fathers name even if her father was a kaafir. Similarly, the wives of the Sahaabah and those who came after them did not change their names. Did you ever think why they didnt do that? Surely, if it was a good thing, the wives of the Prophet(Sal Allaahu Alaiyhi wa Sallam) would have done it and the Prophet(Sal Allaahu Alaiyhi wa Sallam) would himself have instructed it and encouraged them to do it. That is because it is Allaahs order to keep your fathers name as an indication of your lineage. Call them (adopted sons) by (the names of) their fathers, that is more just with Allaah [alAhzaab 33:5]. And the Prophet (Sal Allaahu Alaiyhi wa Sallam) said: "Whoever calls himself by other than his fathers name, will be cursed by Allaah, the angels and all the people." (Ibn Maajah -Saheeh by alAlbaani). And he (Sal Allaahu Alaiyhi wa Sallam) also said: Whoever knowingly claims to belong to anyone other than his father, Paradise will be denied him. (Ahmad, al-Bukhaari, Muslim).

Now some might argue.But the woman is not claiming that her father is someone else. She is just honoring her husband or she doesnt mean it that way. She just wants to belong to her husband out of love for him. To those people I say. If it was a matter of honor to have the husbands name attached to the wifes, wouldnt our Ummahaat have done that?? Isnt it the biggest honor in the WORLD to have the name of the Prophet(Sal Allaahu Alaiyhi wa Sallam) attached to yours?? And yet the wives of the Prophet(Sal Allaahu Alaiyhi wa Sallam) didnt do that. Ever wonder why?? And if it was a matter of expressing love for the husband, no relationship between a husband and wife on the face of this earth was better than the relationship between the Prophet(Sal Allaahu Alaiyhi wa Sallam) and his wives. And yet none of the Mothers of the Believers expressed their love for the Prophet (Sal Allaahu Alaiyhi wa Sallam) by changing their last names. It doesnt make any sense The last name is an indication of the father of the person and represents the persons lineage. Shaykh Bakr Abu Zayd said: This is one of the beauties of Shareeah, because calling a person by his fathers name is more appropriate for knowing who is who and telling people apart.. (Tasmiyat al-Mawlood, 30, 31). Originally, the woman is the Daughter of So and so, and NOT the wife of So and so. Since there is no blood relationship between the husband and wife, how can she take his last name as if she is part of the same lineage? And surely, she is not claiming that he is her father!!!! Also what happens if she gets divorced, or her husband dies, and she marries another man? Will she keep changing her surname every time she marries another man? In addition to this, there are rulings attached to the woman being named after her father, which have to do with her inheritance, spending and who is her mahram, etc. Taking her husbands last name overlooks all that. Also, if you think about it, the husband is named after his own father, and what does she have to do with the lineage of her husbands father? This goes against common sense and true facts. Besides, the husband has nothing that makes him better than his wifes father. So why should she give up her fathers name and take her husbands last name?? And why does the man get to keep his fathers name and not the woman??!! It just doesnt make any sense. Sheikh Salih Al-Munajjid says: A woman changing her family name to that of her husband after she gets married is Haraam and

is not allowed in Shareeah, because it is not permissible for anyone to claim to belong to anyone other than his or her father And Allaah knows best. Not only is it so in this world, but, we will also be called by our fathers name in the Hereafter as well. The Prophet (Sal Allaahu Alaiyhi wa Sallam) said: On the Day of Resurrection, each betrayer will have a banner raised beside him, and it will be said, this is the betrayer of So and so, the son of So and so. (Bukhaari, Muslim). So, all you single females out there, dont be in such a hurry to change your maiden name after you get married. And those of you who have already done that, it is never too late. Take back your maiden name and reclaim your identity. It is part of the Shareeah.

PLUCKING EYEBROWS: A topic we pretend does not exist

By Asma bint Shameem Today's topic is about something we DON'T really want to talk about. It's about.... PLUCKING EYEBROWS This is a topic we just want to avoid or hope it would just go away Although, not thinking about it does not mean that the Hukum (order) isn't there. And you know what? It is sad to say that at least 90% of our sisters (if not more) are guilty of doing it. But dear Sister, have you really thought about it? What does Islam REALLY say about shaping the eyebrows? Shaykh Muhammad ibn Saalih al-Uthaymeen says: "Plucking of women's eyebrows is not permissible. That's because the Messenger of Allaah (sal Allaahu Alaiyhi wa sallam) cursed the one who does it. It is haraam and is not permitted." The evidence: 1) Removing or plucking the eyebrows implies changing the creation of Allaah, as Allaah tells us that the Shaytaan said: ".....and indeed I will order them to change the nature created by Allaah." [al-Nisa:119] 2) Abd-Allaah ibn Masood said: I heard the Messenger of Allaah (sal Allaahu Alaiyhi wa sallam) say: "Allaah has CURSED the woman who does tattoos and the one who has them done, the woman who plucks eyebrows and the one who has it done, and the one who files her teeth for the purpose of beauty, altering the creation of Allaah." (Bukhaari, Muslim) Can you do it if (you think) it makes you look ugly? Dear sister, do not forget that Allaah is Wise in whatever He decrees for His slaves.Some people are beautiful in appearance and some are not; that's just how it is and the entire matter is entirely in the hand of Allaah. Therefore, it is essential that you be patient and seek reward with Allaah, and not transgress His sacred limits for the sake of your looks. Just think....even if the whole world were to tell you that you look beautiful with your eyebrows shaped, would it even be worth a dot or an atom, if in Allaah's eyes you were ugly? And if the whole world were to tell you that you are ugly, would it really matter as long as you were beautiful in front of Allaah???? What about the hair on her face (like chin, upper lip,etc.) and the

rest of her body? If you want to remove hair from your upper lip, thighs, calves and arms, then according to the Ulama, it is okay. That's because this is not part of the plucking that is forbidden. It is one of the things concerning which Sharee'ah did not say anything, so the ruling is that it is permissible, since whatever Sharee'ah did not say anything about, in the Qur'aan or Sunnah, is allowed. The Prophet (sal Allaahu Alaiyhi wa sallam) said: "What is Halaal is that which Allaah has permitted in His Book, and what is haraam is that which Allaah has forbidden in His Book, and whatever He has not said anything about is allowable." (al-Tirmidhi-hasan) What about plucking the hair BETWEEN the eyebrows? The Ulama tell us that it is permissible to pluck it, because it is not part of the eyebrows. Can a woman do it if her husband asks her to do so? The Prophet (sal Allaahu Alaiyhi wa sallam) said: "There can be no obedience to a created being in disobedience to the Creator." (Ahmad- saheeh) Ask yourself this? Why do you obey your husband? Because Allaah told you to, correct? But then the same Allaah is telling you not to shape your eyebrows. Wouldn't you then, want to obey Him Who is giving the orders in the first place? Wouldn't then the Orders of Allaah take precedence over the obedience to your husband? "It is not permissible to remove the hair of the eyebrows because this is the plucking for which the Messenger of Allaah (sal Allaahu Alaiyhi wa sallam) cursed those who do it, and it is a kind of changing the creation of Allaah, which is the action of the Shaytaan. If a woman's husband tells her to do it, she should not obey him, because it is a sin, and there is no obedience to any created being if it involves disobedience towards the Creator. Rather obedience should only be with regard to things that are good and proper, as the Prophet (sal Allaahu Alaiyhi wa sallam) said." (Fataawa al-Lajnah alDaaimah) OKAY fine. I'm not plucking it. But can I shape it, cut it, wax it, thread it? Shaykh Ibn Jibreen said: "It is not permissible to cut the hair of the eyebrows, or to shave it, reduce it or pluck it.This is not a matter of

beauty, rather it is altering the creation of Allaah Who is the Best of creators. A warning has been narrated against doing that and the one who does it is cursed; this implies that it is forbidden." So, this is it. The evidence is clear. There is no difference of opinion among the Ulama about it. Plucking your eyebrows is HARAAM..... Plain and Simple No ifs and buts about it. The Prophet (sal Allaahu Alaiyhi wa sallam) said it....the Ulama explained it.....you have been informed about it. And you have been WARNED. Now, it is up to YOU to decide. Do you want to be the one who listens and obeys? Or are you going to be like the one whom Allah describes...... "And when Our Verses are recited to such a one, he turns away in pride, as if he heard them not--as if there were deafness in his ear. So announce to him a painful torment." (al- Luqman:7) Read the above Ayah carefully. Surely, YOU are NOT going to be that one. Right? Then, give it up, my dear Sister. It's simply not worth it.You look beautiful even if you didn't pluck your eyebrows. I Promise You. Don't let the Kuffaar get to you. Don't let the Shaytaan deceive you. Don't be the one whom Allah curses. Imagine! ALLAAH'S CURSE!!!! Just think! How can anyone expect goodness and success in this life OR in the Hereafter if Allah's curse is on them? O Allah.... save us from Your Curse and guide us to the Right Path. Aameen. And Allah knows best.

And when any news comes to you.....

By Asma bint Shameem Surely, we live in difficult times, full of trials and tribulations. And one of the ways that we are tried by Allaah Subhaanahu wa Taala is by testing us with rumors and how we react to them. We are bombarded with all sorts of information every day, be it directly from a person, on television, or via email. And many good-hearted people may just accept them, assuming this piece of news as indisputable facts coming from trustworthy sources. However, as a Muslim, what is our role towards such sayings and claims? What does the Shareeah say about such information? Allaah says: Behold, you received it on your tongues, and said out of your mouths things which you had no knowledge of; and you thought it to be a light matter, while it was most serious in the sight of Allaah (Surah Nur: 15)

So before we accept what anyone and everyone says, there are certain points to keep in mind, as we all have to stand in front of Allaah one day. 1) VERIFY the news We have to verify the information and ascertain, to the best of our ability, the truthfulness and authenticity of the news that reaches us. WHY? Because Allaah orders you and me to be JUST Verily! Allh commands that you should render back the trusts to those, to whom they are due; and that when you judge between men, you judge with justice. Verily, how excellent is the teaching which He gives you! Truly, Allh is Ever All Hearer, AllSeer. (Surah Nisaa:58) 2) Deliberate on the information Think about what is being said, who is saying it and about whom is he saying it, before believing it. O you who believe! If a Faasiq (evil person) comes to you with any news, verify it, lest you should harm people in ignorance, and afterwards you become regretful for what you have done *al-Hujuraat 49:6]

The Prophet (Sal Allaahu Alaiyhi wa Sallam) said: Deliberation is from Allaah and haste is from the Shaytaan. (al-Silsilah al-Saheehah)

3) Examine the circumstances Sometimes something may appear or sound true on the surface but, you may not know the full circumstances behind the statement or the report may be taken out of context. Al-Hasan al-Basri said: The believer reserves judgment until the matter is proven. 4) Look for PROOF Anyone who claims a statement or levels an accusation against another person must provide proof: Say (O Muhammad), Produce your proof if you are truthful *al-Baqarah:111] And if they fail to produce any solid proof for what they claim Since they produce not witnesses, they are the liars in the sight of Allaah *al-Noor 24:13] 5)Ask the people in charge The people in charge can explain the facts of the matter and remove any confusion or doubts a person may have, When there comes to them some matter touching (public) safety or fear, they make it known (among the people); if only they had referred it to the Messenger or to those charged with authority among them, the proper investigators would have understood it from them (directly). Had it not been for the Grace and Mercy of Allaah upon you, you would have followed Shaytaan (Satan), save a few of you *al-Nisaa :83+ 6) Stand up for the Truth Search for and stand up for the Truth, and do not accept any false statements from anyone, even if it is from someone you love or hold close to your heart.

O you who believe! Stand out firmly for justice, as witnesses to Allh, even though it be against yourselves, or your parents, or your kin, be he rich or poor, Allh is a Better Protector to both (than you). So follow not the lusts (of your hearts), lest you may avoid justice, and if you distort your witness or refuse to give it, verily, Allh is Ever Well Acquainted with what you do. (Surah Nisaa:135) 7) Beware that it may be a LIE The Shareeah issues a stern warning against passing on all that one hears.

The Messenger of Allaah (Sal Allaahu Alaiyhi wa Sallam) said: It is enough lying for a man to speak of everything that he hears. (Muslim)

Al-Nawawi said: Usually a person hears truth and lies, so if he speaks of everything that he hears, he is lying by telling of things that did not happen, and lying by speaking of something other than the way it happened. 8) Beware that it may be SLANDER Many people just believe any news they hear and pass it on without even stopping to think that it may not be true. In that case it is a slander against the person that the news is about. And slander is a major sin. Woe to every backbiter, slanderer. (Surah Humazah: 1) And the Prophet (Sal Allaahu Alaiyhi wa Sallam) said: No man accuses another of an immoral deed or kufr, but it will come back on him, if the person he accuses is not as he says he is. (Bukhari). No (Muslim) man will desert a man who is a Muslim in a place where his respect may be violated and his honor aspersed without Allah deserting him in a place where he wishes help. (Abu Dawood -authenticated by Sheikh al-Albani) 9) Be careful of what you say Not a word is said except that there is a watcher by him ready to record it. - [Surah Qaf :18] The Prophet (Sal Allaahu Alaiyhi wa Sallam) said, Indeed a servant may say a word from which Allahs displeasure is gained and he does not realize it. Allah will put him in Jahannam due to it. (Bukhaari) O you who believe! Be afraid of Allaah, and be with those who are true (in words and deeds) *al-Tawbah 9:119]

And why did you not, when you heard it, say? "It is not right of us to speak of this: Glory to Allaah, this is a most serious slander" (Surah Nur:16) May Allaah guide us and enable us to stand up for the Truth, wherever it may be. Ameen.

Don't be so quick to blame others perhaps the fault lies with you....
By Asma bint Shameem I remember the first time I went for Umrah was when I was about 16 or 17 years old. That was the time when my family was not really a 'practicing' Muslim family. Yeah sure, we prayed and fasted, but that was about the only thing I knew about Islaam...nothing much more than that. Included in that was my ignorance of the rules of Hijaab. I didn't cover myself except when I prayed and that also, not too well. I didn't know that Allaah required of me to cover myself, not just when I prayed; rather, all the time, in front of all non-mahram men, and I didn't know exactly how I should cover myself, either. You see, I had grown up with the erroneous understanding that it is 'backward' and 'uneducated' to cover yourself, and indeed, those who observed hijaab were looked down upon. So there I was, in front of the Haram, the House of my Lord, with my tight shalwar kameez and a small scarf (or dupatta, as you call it in Urdu) just barely covering my head and shoulders, the rest of me exposed. As I stood by the main entrance of the Masjid, I looked at the throngs of Saudi women who passed by me, fully covered from top to toe, in their 'abaayas and niqaabs with nothing but their eyes showing. And as I looked at them, several emotions were going through my young and ignorant mind......emotions of amazement, pity and scorn, all mixed together. These poor Saudi women...I thought to myself. Aren't they hot? Poor things, they are so illiterate and suppressed. They are living in a world of their own. They have no idea where the rest of us are going. But as I took pity on them and shook my head with hopelessness and disdain, I also noticed something else. I noticed that they were glaring at me as they passed me by....each and every one of them! Wow! I thought to myself. What's the matter with them?!! And just when I thought I had had enough of their awful looks and glares, one of them

stopped abruptly and sharply tugged at my hair that was showing from underneath my short scarf. "OUCH! Stop that!" I snapped at her. "Why in the world did you do that to me?!!" The lady angrily muttered something to me in Arabic and left and I just stood there, hurt, angry, bewildered and disgusted. These Arabs are SO RUDE!! I hatefully and bitterly thought to myself. I didn't understand the hostility, the angry looks, the resentment. When I told someone about what happened, they said, "Oh, you don't know. These Arabs are so racists! They don't like Pakistanis!" And that's what I believed. That these Arabs are not only illiterate, suppressed, and uncivilized, but they are also racist, rude and mean.... And then, after some years, Allaah gave me another chance to go for Umrah. Only this time, it was different. To my amazement, everyone was so kind to me! The sisters smiled at me and treated me with respect. When they spoke to me, their voice was soft and their manners were the best. They said salaam to me, and hugged me and kissed me. They shared their food with me. They made space for me in the saff for prayer, when there was no space to be seen. In other words, they treated me like their sister. Wow! Amazing! "Surely, these Arabs have changed!" I thought, so pleasantly surprized and thankful. "They are no longer rude and mean. They have actually become civilized, polite and courteous!" "What made them change....??" I wondered. "Why was it so different last time?" And then, an awful and bitter reality dawned upon me. The painful and distressing realization crept upon me and made me shudder. The disturbing awareness that it was not them who had changed. Rather, it was me. It was not they who were different after all these years. I was different. Alhamdulillaah, Allaah had guided me. Now, I was now covered, from head to toe.....just like these Arab women, just like the way Allaah has told us Muslim women to cover. And that was the difference. It became clear to me, as bright as day, that, it was never me that these Arab sisters were

angry at, when I had first come for Umrah many years ago. It was the laws of Allaah that I was defying that they were upset about. All those years back, the fault was with me, not them. When Allaah made me realize that it is an order from Him to cover myself and wear proper hijaab..... that was the difference. I had realized that it is NOT backward or uncivilized to dress modestly and it is NOT a sign that I am oppressed. I recognized the fact that it was not them who were suppressed or illiterate. Rather, it was me that was so, when I disobeyed Allaah and didn't do what I was supposed to do. They didn't need to be pitied. I did. When I believed that it is a sign of me obeying my Lord and an honor and a dignity that He bestows on whomever He wishes, that was the difference. I also realized that these Arabs are NOT racist and it is not about us being 'Pakistani' or non-Arab. Rather, it is our own actions that make people like us or honor us...or dislike us. It also made me aware of the fact that so many times, we are so quick to blame others. We rush to see the faults that lie with others that we forget, that perhaps the fault, in fact, lies with us and not with them. Just like I was so quick in condemning and blaming my Arab brothers and sisters for being mean and rude and racist. And I didn't realize that it was my actions, my deeds, my way of dressing, that was the reason for their dislike and nothing more. Remember, when you pick up your hand to point a finger at somebody, do realize that there are four (fingers of your own hand) pointing at you too. May Allaah forgive our previous mistakes and guide us always to the straight path and enable us to see the Truth as the Truth and falsehood as falsehood. May He allow us to see our own mistakes and enable us to make taubah and rectify our shortcomings. Ameen.