The Pineapple!

Natures Porcupine

The Pineapple!
Natures Porcupine
(besides the actual porcupine)

Pineapple
Common Names: Pineapple, Ananas,
Nanas, Pina.
Latin Name: Ananas comosus
Family: Bromeliaceae
Related Species: Pina de Playon
(Ananas bracteatus).

At school they called me

whine-crapple

Types of Pineapple
There are three primary types of pineapple:
Cayenne Pineapple 5-6 pounds, yellow flesh, high sugar and acid. Grown
in Hawaii, this is the most prominent in the U.S. groceries, and has a single
tuft of sword-likes leaves.
Red Spanish 2-4 pounds, spiny leaves. Shorter and thicker with reddish
skin and leaves radiating in several tufts
Kona Sugarloaf 5-6 pounds, white flesh with no woodiness, high sugar
but no acid. Sweet flavor and green skin. Grown in Mexico but rarely
imported to U.S. because it doesnt ship well.

The acid content indicates

our promiscuity.

Pineapple
Identification
The Crown The long, pointed
leaves at the top may be green or
striped with red or yellow.
The Exterior A tough waxy rind
surrounds the fruit, forming a scaly
pattern. This may be green, yellow,
orange-yellow, or reddish when ripe.
The Interior Full of segmented fruit
ranging from white to yellow.
Technically not a single fruit but a
sorosis
My crown means Im the
king of bedwetting!

The Plant

Hah! Sucker!

The Origin!
Native to Central and South America, particularly Brazil and
Paraguay, where the Guarani Indians cultivated them, calling them
nana or excellent fruit
Columbus discovered it on the island of Guadeloupe in 1493 and
brought them back to Europe for Queen Isabella of Spain. His screw
ate them to prevent scurvy.
It may have been taken to Hawaii by the Spanish in the early 16 th
Century or by Captain Cook in 1790.
In the 1880s, steamships made the pineapple an industry in Hawaii,
taking off in 1903 when Dole began canning them, making it the
islands largest crop.

Those sailors had

more than scurvy!

Growing Conditions
Sunny tropical regions best for
growing.
Soil with high organic content and pH
between 4.5 and 6.5.
Mealybugs, nematodes, mites and
beetles can be a threat to growth, as
can frost.
Nitrogen necessary to increase fruit
size.
Grown from crowns of other
pineapples
Hard to determine when ripe; tested
for sugar contest using the Brix Test
The Brix test is the
most painful
experience Ive ever
endured.

Warm days and cool nights are best

for carbon dioxide uptake in a process
called Crassulacean acid metabolism,
where stomates are open at night and
closed during the day

Selling and Buying!

Hawaii produces ten percent of the
world's pineapple crops. Other
countries producing the fruit include
Mexico, Honduras, Dominican
Republic, Philippines, Thailand, Costa
Rica, China, and Asia. It is the third
most canned fruit and available year
round.
Workers pick the pineapple and place
it in a basket, where other workers
transfer it to a box with the crown up.
It must be kept dry during this process
before being shipped to grocery
stores.
All of my relatives were
murdered during the truck
ride.

Pineapples = Nutritional!
Pineapples are loaded with Vitamin C!
One serving contains 25% of the daily
recommended amount.
Each serving contains 60 calories.
Pineapples contain a special enzyme
called bromelain which helps the bodys
digestive system.

With enough bromelain, you

could digest an infant in
minutes.

The Ripening Process

Deep green crown leaves are a sign of freshness. Avoid dried out leaves,
bruised fruit, or soft spots. After cut store in a refridgerator.

BEST.
Stage 6 is too grotesque to depict in a
classroom setting.

Girl Drinks!
The
hollowed
out
pineapple
can be
made into a
girl drink

Yikes.

Eat Pineapple, Dude!

Try grilling pineapple slices for a tasty treat!
Use pineapple juice as a marinade!
Stacked Pineapple Upside-down Cake
1/4 cup butter or margarine, melted
2/3 cup firmly packed brown sugar
1 (20-ounce) can sliced pineapple, drained
1/2 cup chopped pecans
1 (18.25-ounce) package yellow cake mix without pudding
Caramel Frosting (recipe below)
Combine butter and brown sugar; spread evenly into 2 greased 9-inch round
cakepans. Arrange pineapple slices, cherries, and pecans on top.
Prepare cake mix according to directions. Pour batter into pans; bake at 350
degrees F. for 30 to 40 minutes or until wooden pick inserted in center comes
out clean.
Remove immediately from pans, and cool completely on wire racks.
Stack layers, pineapple side up, on serving plate. Spread warm caramel frosting
on sides of cake.
Yield: one 2-layer cake

Pineapple will never be a

substitute for love.

Pineapple facts!

Rosie ODonnel
admitted shes a
lesbian!

provided by the folks at

where fruit and education merge to create fruication

Of all the New World discoveries of Columbus, pineapples were the
fruits that caused the biggest stir back home.
In a Caribbean rite of manhood, barefoot youths ran through
pineapple plantings and were expected to bear the resulting wounds
without protest.
Caribbean Indians placed pineapples or pineapple crowns outside
the entrances of their homes to symbolize friendship and hospitality.
The Spanish explorers thought pineapples looked like pinecones, so
they called them "Pina." The English added "apple" to associate it
with juicy delectable fruits.