Body Language for

Negotiation & Selling

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 Essentials
Mirror Their Actions
Nod Your Head
Pay Attention to Your Hands
Plant Your Feet
Relax Your Body
Remember to Smile
Keep an Open Posture
Hide Your Nerves
Keep a Poker Face 2
Show Your Patience
Pretend that you are sitting with your
grandmother.
You need to focus because she might speak softly,
and you certainly need to be patient explaining
things because topics that are obvious to you
(Facebook and mobile apps) may be foreign to her.
Make sure to smile a lot, too. And focus on your
partner; be empathetic to their needs.
Hold Eye Contact

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 Some aspects to adhere to

Distance between two or more people talking

Physical contact and physical appearance
Eye contact
Poise
Facial expressions
Gestures
Perfect the Handshake
Be Aware of your Facial Expressions
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 Never forget the power of silence
Slow Down & Keep Quiet
Don’t be afraid to be silent for a short while,
sparking the other person’s insecurities
Use that massively disconcerting pause which
goes on and on and may at last induce an
opponent to babble and backtrack nervously.

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The Single Biggest Problem in
Communication is the Illusion
That It Has Taken Place

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Negotiation experts typically advise us to meet with
our counterparts in person whenever possible
rather than relying on the telephone or Internet.
As convenient as electronic media maybe, they lack
the visual cues that help convey valuable
information and forge connections in face-to-face
talks.
Without access to gestures and facial expressions,
those who negotiate at a distance have trouble
accurately reading each other’s tone and building
rapport.
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 Should you trust or not?
When you’re evaluating a negotiator’s
trustworthiness, it pays to remember that some
nonverbal signs are more important than others
Liars sometimes have trouble matching their
facial expressions to the emotion they’re
communicating.

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A liar might have difficulty coordinating her
behavior e.g. saying no while nodding yes
Liars also sometimes forget to add the gestures,
pitch variations, raised eyebrows, and widened
eyes that we make naturally when telling the
truth.

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But don’t count on nonverbal signs exclusively
when assessing someone’s trustworthiness.
To smoke out a lie, ask lots of specific, clear
questions about the persons claims

In particular, try asking different versions of the

same question at several points in your
conversation and compare the consistency of
the responses

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Most business negotiators have faced the
challenge of smiling through gritted teeth at a
counterpart they find aggravating.
We all understand the value of being friendly
and patient while focusing on our goals, but it’s
sometimes difficult to keep our true feelings
under wraps.
How skilled are we at communicating emotions
that don’t quite match our true feelings?

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“micro-expressions”—fleeting, involuntary signs
of one’s genuine emotions, e.g. a grimace—
might tip others off to our thoughts.

In experiments Participants had more trouble

falsifying negative emotions than positive ones;
it seems happiness may be easier to fake than
sadness or fear.

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Rest assured that most people will take your
social niceties at face value.
At the same time, you should practice
expressing difficult sentiments in a constructive,
sensitive manner.
In negotiation, sometimes words do speak
louder than actions.

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 Types of body language
Distance between people conversing
Different people have different ideas about the
proper distance between people conversing.

During negotiations being too far apart may be

awkward, but being too close makes people
uncomfortable

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According to studies, it seems there are four main
distances in American social and business relations:
Intimate, Personal, Social, and Public.
Intimate distance ranges from direct physical
contact to a distance of about 45 centimeters (17”);
this is for people’s most private relations and
activities, e.g. between husband & wife

Personal distance is about 45—80 (17” – 31”)

centimeters and is most common when friends,
acquaintances and relatives converse.
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Social distance may be anywhere from about
1.30 meters (4 ft) to 3 meters (9 ft);
people who work together, or people doing
business, as well as most of those in conversation
at social gatherings

Public Distance is farther than any of the above

and is generally for speakers in public and for
teachers in classrooms.

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Physical appearance & physical contact

Physical appearance conveys messages.

It plays a very important role in creating a first
impression.
Physical attractiveness affects the way you
perceive yourself and the way other perceive
you.

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Personal Dress: “Dress for success.”
Clothing has been found to affect perceptions of
credibility, likeability, attractiveness, and
dominance

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Physical contact is generally avoided in
conversation among ordinary friends or
acquaintances.
Merely touching someone may cause an
unpleasant reaction.
If one touches another person accidentally,
he/she usually utters an apology such as “Sorry,
Oh, I’m sorry, Excuse me.”

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The matter of physical contact between
members of the same sex in many countries is a
delicate one.
Once past childhood, the holding of hands, or
walking with an arm around another’s shoulder
is not considered proper.

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Eye contact
To look or not to look; when to look and how
long to look; who and who not to look at.
In conversations with people who know each
other, American custom demands that there
should be eye contact.
This applies to both the speaker and the listener.
For either one not to look at the other person
could imply a number of things, among which
are fear, contempt, uneasiness, guilt, and
Indifference.
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Even in public speaking there should be plenty
of eye contact.
For a speaker to “burry ones nose in the
manuscript”, to read a speech instead of looking
at and talking to the audience, would be
regarded as inconsiderate and disrespectful.

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In conversation, a person shows interest by
listening and looking at the other person’s eyes
or face.
If the other person is speaking at some length, the
listener will occasionally make sounds like
“Hmm”, “Ummm”, or nod the head to indicate
attention.
To indicate agreement with the speaker nod or
smile
To indicate disagreement or reservations, you may
slant your head to one side, raise an eyebrow, and
have a quizzical look. 23
Staring at people or holding a glance too long
may be considered improper, even when the
look may be one of appreciation—as of
beauty—it may make people uneasy and
embarrassed.
Local people staring at foreigners may be
considered rude, when it may be nothing more
than curiosity.
The amount of eye contact varies greatly among
cultures.
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Facial expressions are capable of conveying
several emotions simultaneously.
Gestures are the expressive movement of a part
of the body, especially the hand and the head.
As with verbal language, non-verbal codes are
not universal.
Same gestures have different meanings in
different cultures. (Handout)

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There are some gestures that have widely
understood meanings.
e.g. foot-shaking, finger-tapping and fidgeting
with a tie or hair usually signify nervousness or
boredom; a clench fist typically indicates
hostility or aggression.

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Posture
The way people carry themselves communicates
volumes. People from different cultures learn to
sit, to walk and to stand differently.
Generally, standing erect, shoulders back, head
held high display confidence, energy, and self-
assurance, which gains more attention from the
audience.

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A relaxed posture, a comfortable seating
position, uncrossed arms, and lack of stiffness
indicate openness with no communication
obstacles.

On the other hand, abrupt movements, shifting

seating positions, crossed arms or legs may
signal defiance, disinterest or an unwillingness
to listen.

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Application of the body language in negotiation

Good negotiators know how to use body language

to their advantage.
They also know how to read other people’s body
language to gain the upper hand. Crossed arms,
raised eyebrows, wandering eyes - they all mean
something.
Pay attention and you’ll be surprised what you
might learn about what is really going on in the
Negotiation regardless of what is being said with
words.
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 How to use body language in negotiation

The most important observation you can make

about a room full of people is the personal
space each person commands.
Human nature dictates that people considered
more powerful are typically awarded greater
Personal space by the other people in the room.

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Control over the dominant chair (usually the
head of the table) may be the most obvious sign
of power.
Once the spatial relationships are established,
they are not easy to change.
Take a moment before your next meeting
and think about what relationship you want to
establish with the other attendees.
Arrange the seating accordingly.

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Making first contact
Begin every meeting with great body language.
Let your enthusiasm and energy show. Meet the
other person’s eyes and give a good, firm
Handshake. Press—do not squeeze—the hand.

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Observing how someone is sitting or standing is
the first step in reading body language—but
people aren’t frozen like statues.

Their positions and gestures change with their

attitudes and emotions. Notice these shifts.

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One more thing to keep in mind: Body language
works both ways. If your opponent is an
experienced negotiator, chances are good that he
or she will be observing your posture, gestures,
breathing patterns, etc.
Be aware of this and try to use it to your advantage.
By using your body to transmit the appropriate
message to your negotiating opponent, you can
enhance the chances of securing the right deal and,
just as importantly, keeping the negotiation
amicable.
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It is also true that in certain situations body
action contradicts what is being said, just as the
spoken words may mean something quite
different from what body language
communicates. When this occurs, one must try
to get further information, or guess the meaning
from the context of the situation.

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In a sense, all body language should be
interpreted within a given context; to ignore the
overall situation could be misleading.

The study of body language should be

complementary to the study of language in
communications.
The understanding of one should be helpful in
the further understanding of the other.

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Thank You!

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