How to deal with stress

as a Caregiver
By: Skylar Rowe
Stress of Caregiving
● Studies show that a certain amount of stress is helpful

● Stress can challenge people to change and motivates people to do things

● Stress while good sometimes can overwhelm our ability to cope and cause a feeling of “distress”
or “burnout”

● Caregivers have increased stress in their life

● Caregiving is unique because what is stressful for one person may not be stressful for someone
else

● Stress can increase or decrease depending on how a person perceives their circumstances.
Factors that Affect Stress
● Whether caregiving is voluntary or involuntary

● The relationship the caregiver has with the care recipient

● The caregivers coping abilities

● The caregiving situation

● Weather support for the caregiver is available

Voluntary or Involuntary Caregiving
● Making a choice to be a caregiver can make all the
difference

● When someone becomes a caregiver by “inheriting” the

job the feeling of having no choice can create a bigger strain
which then causes distress and resentment
Relationship with Care Recipient
● If the relationship with the care recipient is
strained/difficult then caregiving will be more of a
challenge

● If the care recipient has been demanding and

controlling in the past then the caregiver will feel
more stress, anger, and resentment
Coping Abilities
● It is important to identify current coping strengths
and build on them

● Learning new coping skills can help make

someone’s caregiving situation less stressful
Caregiving Situation
● Depending on what the caregiving situation requires, if it is 24 hours a day or just making
occasional phone calls, what disease the care recipient has, do they have mental and physical disabilities
or both?

● All of these different situations can cause more stress or less stress.

● Stress tends to be highest when

○ The caregiving situation is ongoing for a long time

○ The care recipient needs are gradually increasing

○ The caregiver feels like they have limited or no support

○ The caregivers have their own health/physical problems

Whether support is available
● Caregivers who feel isolated and do not have adequate support experience a higher level of stress

● Reasons support may be lacking

○ The caregiver may resist accepting help from others, even when it is needed

○ Others may be willing to help but do not offer because they are uncomfortable around the
ill person, scared of the illness, or don’t know what they can do to help

○ Sometimes other people don’t want to interfere

Steps to Maintain Health and Avoid
Distress
1. Recognize the warning signs of stress

2. Identify your sources of stress

3. Identify what you can and cannot change

4. Take action to manage your stress

Step 1
Recognize Warning Signs
● It is important to recognize stress early and do something about it

● Early signs can be

○ Increased irritability

○ Restlessness while trying to sleep at night

○ Fatigue

○ Lack of energy
Step 2
Identify Your Source of Caregiving
Stress
● Not all stressors are the result of caregiving

● Other sources can affect your ability to be a caregiver

● It is important to identify the causes of stress before they overwhelm the caregiver

● Caregivers can't wait until they develop a health problem to get help

● Many caregivers keep going until they become ill

● Someone can only be an effective caregiver if they are healthy

● Self-sacrificing to the point of illness benefits no one.

Step 3
Identify What You Can and Cannot
● Identifying what you can change gives the caregiver a sense of control
Change
● Determining what can and cannot be changed is a challenge

● Often people try to change things they have no control over

● People can only change themselves

● People may be able to change a situation, how they respond to it, the perception of it, but
someone cannot change another person

● Some situations cannot be changed but changing the caregivers outlook on the situation can
make all the difference
Step 3 continued
Accept the reality of your caregiving situation

Educate yourself on the care recipients’ disease

Identify unrealistic expectations

Seek and accept support

Identify what you still have, rather than focus on what is lost

Let go of what cannot be changed

Step 4
Take Action to Manage Stress
● There are many different tools to manage stress

● Caregivers have to find the tool that is most effective for

them

● Proven ways to manage and reduce stress include

○ Managing your thoughts, beliefs, and perceptions ○ Developing plans of actions

○ Practicing self-care ○ Finding hope and meaning

○ Getting social support

○ Using techniques that lower stress

Managing thoughts, beliefs, and
perceptions
● Thoughts and beliefs are the foundation of experience

● Thoughts and beliefs can influence events

● Two tools that are helpful

○ Reframing and self-talk

● Reframing-learning to look at things in a different way. Finding something positive out of

situations

● Self-talk-what we say to ourselves. It can be negative or positive. Positive statements are the best
for caregivers (Affirmations/Supportive statements)
Practicing Self-Care
● To be an effective caregiver people need to maintain their health by
nurturing themselves

● Often caregivers put their needs last

● When caregivers sacrifice themselves, it can lead to emotional

exhaustion, depression, and illness

● It is critical to find activities that help caregivers stay healthy

● Activities like meditating, painting, journaling, exercising, etc.

● It is also essential to take breaks from caregiving

Practicing self-care means
○ Learning and using stress reducing techniques ○ Seeking support from others

○ Attending to your own health care needs ○ Seeking counseling when needed

○ Getting proper rest and nutrition ○ Identifying and Acknowledging your

feelings
○ Exercising regularly
○ Tell others what you need
○ Taking time off without feeling guilty
○ Change the negative ways you view
○ Participating in nurturing activities situations

○ Rewarding yourself ○ Set goals and prioritize

Getting Social Support
● Caregiving can be lonely

● Support from family, friends and others can buffer stress

● It helps to share experiences and burdens with people you trust

who will listen and understand

● Support groups can be helpful

Using techniques that lower stress
● Recognize Obstacles

○ Not giving yourself permission to take care of yourself

○ Lacking awareness of stress-reduction techniques

○ Choosing unrealistic stress reduction

○ Delaying or postponing a stress reduction activity

● Basic wellness practices

● Breathing for relaxation

● Meditation

● Humor
Develop an Action Plan
● Action plans are tools for change

● Action plans can be useful to identify and plan specific

activities for reducing stress and making change

● Feelings of accomplishment are necessary for thriving as a

caregiver

● Action plans can help in feeling accomplished

● Even small actions can make a difference

Finding hope and meaning
● The ability to find hope and meaning in caregiving enables caregivers to thrive

● Finding meaning and hope can help caregivers make sense of their circumstances

● To stimulate the search for meaning go through these steps

1. Ask yourself questions like “What am I to learn from this?”

2. Reflect

3. Talk with trusted people

4. Write

5. Seek spiritual renewal

Powerful Tools for Caregivers Class
1. Take care of yourself
Managing self-care

Take responsibility

Have realistic expectations

Focus on “what I can do”

Communicate effectively with others

Deal with our emotions

Set goals and work toward them

2. Identify and Reduce Personal Stress
Recognize warning signs of stress

Identify sources of stress

Identify what you can and cannot change

Take action

Change situation

Change perception

Change response
3. Communicating Feelings, Needs and
Concerns
Good Communication

Prevents misunderstandings

Builds relationships

Increases chances of being heard

Reduces stress and frustration

Enhances problem solving

4. Communicating in Challenging
Situations
Assertive Communication-DESC

Describe observable behavior or problem

Express how you feel

Specify what you need to happen

Consequence
Aikido Communication Style
Align- Ask yourself, “What does this person want or need from me to feel better?”

Agree- Where can you find common ground?

Redirect- Move the conversation forward in a positive direction based on the areas of common ground

Resolve- Seek to resolve differences through: a) middle ground b) a common concern or c) agreeing to
disagree
5. Learning from Our Emotions
Feelings are a normal response to a situation

Feelings are changeable

Feelings are an outgrowth of our perspective

Feelings are a tool for self-understanding when we

Identify our feelings

Accept our feelings

Learn from our feelings

6. Mastering Caregiving Decisions
Involve the care recipient

Involve everyone in person or by phone

Consider a facilitator

Plan an agenda in advance

Resources
Powerful Tools for Caregivers. (2013). The caregiver help book. Portland, OR.

Powerful Tools for Caregivers. (2013). The caregivers class. Portland, OR.