Tone and Formality

Lecture (8): 14/11/2020

1. Continuity in Presentation of Ideas
• Readers will better understand your ideas if you aim for continuity in words,
concepts, and thematic development from the opening statement to the conclusion.
• Continuity can be achieved through the use of:
1. Punctuation marks
2. Transitional words
a. Pronouns
b. Time-links (then, next, after, while, since)
c. Cause–Effect links (therefore, consequently, as a result)
d. Addition links (in addition, moreover, furthermore, similarly)
e. Contrast links (but, conversely, nevertheless, however, although)
 2. Smoothness of Expression
• Avoid
 Ambiguity
 Irrelevancies
 Abandoning an argument or theme prematurely
 Abruptness that may result from sudden, unnecessary shifts in verb tense within the same
paragraph or in adjacent paragraphs.
This can be fixed by using verb tenses consistently:
a. Use the past tense or the present perfect for the literature review and the description of the
procedure if the discussion is of past events.
b. Use the past tense to describe the results.
c. Use the present tense to discuss implications of the results and to present the conclusions.
 3. Tone
• Academic writing typically requires a formal, professional tone.
Avoid the following:
 like for introducing examples. Use such as or for instance.
 thing and combinations nothing or something. Use factor, issue or topic.
 lots of. Use a significant/considerable number.
 little/big. Use small/large.
 ‘get’ phrases such as get better/worse. Use improve and deteriorate.
 good/bad are simplistic. Use positive/negative, e.g. the changes had several positive
aspects.
3. Tone
• Avoid the following:
 you, your. These pronouns make your writing sound like you are addressing a
single individual rather than the wider, general audience that academic writing
usually targets.
 Adverbs that show your personal attitude: luckily, remarkably, surprisingly.
 Contractions (like isn't, don't, you're, etc.) are considered too informal and
conversational for academic writing.
 Question forms such as Why did war break out in 1914? Instead use statements:
There were three reasons for the outbreak of war . . .
 etc or and so on. Insert and before the last item.
4. Economy of Expression
• Say only what needs to be said. Wordiness can impede the
readers’ grasp of ideas. Use no more words than are
necessary to convey your meaning.
• In the following examples, the words in red are redundant
and should be removed:

They were both alike One and the same

A total of 68 participants In close proximity
Four different groups saw Completely unanimous
Absolutely essential Just exactly
Small in size Summarize briefly
The reason is because
5. Precision and Clarity
• Make certain that every word means exactly what you intend it to mean.
• Avoid colloquial expressions (e.g., write up for report), which diffuse
meaning.
• Pronouns confuse readers unless the referent for each pronoun is obvious.
Pronouns such as this, that, these, and those can be troublesome when they
refer to something or someone in a previous sentence. Eliminate ambiguity
by writing, for example, this test, that trial, these participants, and those
reports.
• Be as precise as possible when dealing with facts or figures. Avoid phrases
such as about a hundred or hundreds of years ago. If it is necessary to
estimate numbers use approximately rather than about.
6. Cautious Language
• Caution is needed to avoid making statements that are too simplistic:
Crime is linked to poor education.
• Such statements are rarely completely true. There is usually an
exception that needs to be considered. Caution can be shown in
several ways:
• Crime may be linked to poor education. (modal verb)
• Crime is frequently linked to poor education. (adverb)
• Crime tends to be linked to poor education. (verb)
7. Bias-Free Language
• Use words and phrases that don’t discriminate on the basis of gender,
physical condition, age, or race. For instance, avoid using he to refer
to both men and women.

• Never use language that denigrates people or excludes one gender.

Watch for phrases that suggest women and men behave in
stereotypical ways, such as talkative women.
Study this paragraph and underline any examples of
poor style:
How to make people work harder is a topic that lots of people have
written about in the last few years. There are lots of different theories
etc and I think some of them are ok. When we think about this we
should remember the old Chinese proverb, that you can lead a horse to
water but you can’t make it drink. So how do we increase production?
It’s quite a complex subject but I’ll just talk about a couple of ideas.
Some of the problems with the style of this paragraph
can be analysed as follows:
How to make people work harder Imprecise vocabulary – use ‘motivation’
. . . lots of people Vague – give names
. . . the last few years Vague – give dates
 
lots of different Avoid ‘lots of’
 
. . . etc Avoid using ‘etc’ and ‘and so on’
. . . I think Too personal
 
. . . are ok Too informal
When we think about this Too personal
. . . the old Chinese proverb Do not quote proverbs or similar
expressions
 
So how do we increase production? Avoid rhetorical questions
It’s quite a Avoid contractions
. . . I’ll just talk about a couple Too personal and informal
The paragraph could be re-written:
Motivation has been the subject of numerous studies during recent
decades, but this essay will focus on Maslow’s hierarchy of needs
theory (1943) and Herzberg’s two-factor theory (1966). Their
contemporary relevance to the need to motivate employees effectively
will be examined critically, given that this can be considered crucial to a
firm’s survival in the current economic climate.