Mediation Mindset

Wendeline de Zan, JD

Image by Matt Power

 01 Mediation basics

02 Breakouts #1 & 2: Neutrality

03 Positions vs. Interests

04
AGENDA
Stages in a Mediation

05 Debrief
Outcome for To use mediation as a tool to
differentiate you as a leader by
Today how you remain neutral, spot
the real issues and
consequences, and envision an
entire process.
Mediation Mediators
• A process where two disputing • Process advocates and managers
parties voluntarily come • Skilled facilitators
together with a neutral party or
parties called mediators and • Neutral parties
engage in a structured problem-
solving process that is designed • NOT judges, police, therapists,
to facilitate a solution to their counselors
dispute.
What can’t be What can be
mediated? mediated?
• Beliefs, Values, Principles, • Interests
Attitudes • (Most) Behavior
First rule of Mediation: neutrality
Breakout #1
1. What is neutrality?
2. What is the difference between neutrality and the appearance of
neutrality?
3. What is the consequence of not being perceived as neutral?
4. What can cause you to lose your neutrality and why?

(1-2 min alone)

(15m in breakouts)
Some answers to the questions
1. Definition of neutrality:
• a tendency not to side in a conflict, absence of bias
• The mediator’s use of his/her position to appropriately balance the distribution of power
• Neutrality may be defined by reference to what it achieves—fairness (CIARB news)

2. Difference between neutrality and appearance of neutrality?

3. Consequences of not being perceived as neutral?
4. What can cause you to lose your neutrality and why?
• Your beliefs and biases (identifying with a party)
• Your Ego (loving your suggestions)
• Your hot buttons (know what sets you off)
• Recognition of your role (facilitator, not advocate; mediator, not Messiah)
What can you do to appear
neutral and behave neutrally,
even if you are not?
Treat Parties
Provide a neutral process
Equally
• Equal Time • Tell them you will be neutral and
• Equal Attention unbiased
• Give them a neutral arena to
speak in and a neutrally-worded
agreement
• Show them what it is like to be
rational, objective, and
empathetic
You will need all your skills: listening,
asserting, asking questions…Also, there
is a specific tool that mediators use:
Paraphrase
Acknowledge
Summarize
Translate/Reframe
Ask Questions
Breakout #2: Translate into Neutral Language
1. “She is such an inconsiderate co-worker.  She blasts that offensive
music with those disgusting lyrics with no regard for the fact that I
am right next door and talking to a client!”
2. “I refuse to wait more than 5 minutes past 8:00a.  If you are not
ready by then, find someone else to drive you to work.”
3. “You never return the supplies to where they belong.  They will be
locked in the cabinet until you stop this laziness and show that you
deserve to use them.”
4. “This manager is a control-freak.  He is constantly looking over my
shoulder and butting his nose in where it doesn’t belong.”
(10 min)
Positions are different than Interests
Position Interests
Something you decided upon The underlying reason you want
something
To identify interests, find out
WHY someone wants something,
or why it matters to them.
Think about SCARF
“Help me understand what will __________ achieve?”
“What’s the concern underlying this position?”
“If ____ happens/doesn’t happen, what will be the short, medium, long-term consequences; economic/political
consequences/;on you, on others around you…”
“What kind of precedent will it establish?”
“Would the same decision work if it were implemented across the board?”
6 stages of a mediation

1 2 3 4 5 6
Opening Uninterrupted The Exchange Building the Writing the Closing
Time Agreement Agreement
Take Aways