Christian

Home and
Marriage
Week
Presented by: (Pastor Nick Francisco)

Written by: Willie Oliver, PhD, CFLE and Elaine Oliver, PhD(c), LCPC, CFLE are Directors of the Department of
Family Ministries at the General Conference of Seventh-day Adventists World Headquarters in Silver Spring, Maryland,
USA.
 The
Resilient
Marriage

Presented by: (Pastor Nick Francisco)

Written by: Willie Oliver, PhD, CFLE and Elaine Oliver, PhD(c), LCPC, CFLE are Directors of the Department of
Family Ministries at the General Conference of Seventh-day Adventists World Headquarters in Silver Spring, Maryland,
USA.
“Therefore a man shall leave his
father and his mother and hold
fast to his wife, and they shall
become one flesh.”
Genesis 2:24

The Resilient Marriage

Statement of Purpose

This seminar will explore key

factors in building a strong
marriage that will survive the
inevitable transitions and traumas
in marriage.

The Resilient Marriage

Introduction

• The COVID-19 pandemic has

dramatically and drastically changed life
in our homes.
• Marriage and family life are full of
challenges.

• Then, when unexpected events occur,

additional layers are piled on top of
regular stressors.
The Resilient Marriage
Definition of Resilience

Resilience can be defined as having

the emotional and social capacity to
adjust and bounce back after
exposure to traumatic events or
exposure to considerable risk.

The Resilient Marriage

Adapting to the Changing Seasons
Marriage relationships are constantly
changing for various reasons:

• Children • Anxiety
• Illness • Infidelity
• Employment • Hobbies
• Finances • Aging
• Depression

The Resilient Marriage

 “I should say the relation between
any two decently married people changes
profoundly every few years, often without their
knowing anything about it; though every change
causes pain, even if it brings a certain joy.
The long course of marriage is a long event of
perpetual change…It is like rivers flowing on,
through new country,
always unknown.”

Book: “We Need One Another,” D.H. Lawrence  

The Resilient Marriage

 Preparation for Marriage

Reflect on the quote by D.H. Lawrence.

In what ways were you prepared or
unprepared for the changes you have
experienced in your marriage? Consider
personal changes, relational changes and
unpredictable circumstances.

The Resilient Marriage

 Foundation of marriage

Reflect on this text and discuss how it

could help your marriage build resilience:
 
“Therefore a man shall leave his father and
his mother and hold fast to his wife, and
they shall become one flesh.”
Genesis 2:24
The Resilient Marriage
 Prayerful Life

Discuss how you can make prayer a

regular part of your schedule. Put it in
your schedule and commit to praying
together daily at the scheduled time(s).

The Resilient Marriage

 Mutual Relationship

• Choose a non-conflict topic together, and practice

speaking and listening to each other on the topic.
Take turns being speaker and listener.
• Commit to giving each other a six-second kiss and
a 60-second hug daily.
• Share daily compliments and appreciation for
each other.

The Resilient Marriage

 In times of Crisis

Discuss as a couple how you can make a

greater effort to turn towards each other in
times of conflict and crisis. How can each of
you be more intentional about making your
marriage a safe place for bringing up
problems and concerns.

The Resilient Marriage

Conclusion

After God created Adam and Eve, he gave

them instruction for building and sustaining
a life-long marriage (Genesis 2:24).

As husband and wife, if you “hold fast” to

each other, and implement these simple
principles into your marriage, you will be
resilient and be well prepared to endure the
storms of life together.
The Resilient Marriage
 References
Gottman, J. M., & Silver, N. (2015). Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work.
Harmony Books.
Oliver, W., & Oliver, E. (2015). An Introduction: The Beauty of Marriage. In E.
Mueller & E. B. De Souza (Eds.), Marriage: Biblical and Theological Aspects
(Vol. 1). Review and Herald Publishing Association.
Stanley, S. M., Trathen, D., McCain, S., & Bryan, B. M. (2013). A Lasting
Promise: The Christian Guide to Fighting for Your Marriage. John
Wiley & Sons.
Walsh, F. (2015). Strengthening family resilience. Guilford publications.
White, E. G. (1892). Steps to Christ. Pacific Press Publishing Association.
Oliver, W., & Oliver, E. (2020, April 18). Your marriage can survive COVID-19.
Adventist Review. https://www.adventistreview.org/your-marriage-can
survive-covid-19

The Resilient Marriage