Listening Skills

1st November, 2017

“ The biggest communication
problem is that we do not listen

”
to understand; we listen to reply
“
We have two ears and one
mouth so that we may hear

”
more and speak less
Hearing vs. Listening
Hearing vs. Listening

Hearing is like breathing. It is automatic. It is physical.

Accidental | Involuntary | Effortless

(Effective) Listening is a skill which can be achieved

only through practice. It is intellectual.
Focused | Voluntary | Intentional
The Importance of Listening
 Extends far beyond academic and professional
settings

 Practice good communication even in your day to

day life, among friends, family, and significant
others

 Not just about being quite when someone else is

speaking

 Important for a number of reasons: fostering self-

esteem; maximizing productivity; improving
relationships; becoming a better speaker; etc.
Listening Explained

 Not just about being quite when someone

else is speaking
 The process of
• Receiving
• constructing meaning from, and
• responding to spoken and/or non-verbal messages
 An active process
What is Listening?

L Look interested
I Involve yourself by responding
S Stay on target
T Test your understanding
E Evaluate the message
N Neutralize your feelings
Basic Types of Listening

1. Active Listening

2. Selective Listening

3. Emphatic Listening

4. Ignoring Listening
Active Listening

 Understanding everything

 Proper interaction

 Proper feedback
Selective Listening

 We remember only

 Selective portion

 Topic is not to our liking

Selective Listening

The Big Bang Theory

‘Please pass the butter’

(conversation between Amy and Sheldon)

Ignoring Listening

 Not listening at all; is insulting to others

 It can lead to strained relations

How to Listen Effectively
1. Face the speaker; Maintain eye
contact
2. Show interest - be attentive, but
relaxed
3. Keep an open mind
4. Listen to the words and try to
picture what the speaker is saying
5. Don’t interrupt & don’t impose
your ‘solutions’
6. Wait for the speaker to pause
to ask clarifying questions
7. Ask questions only to ensure
understanding
8. Empathize: Try to feel what
the speaker is feeling
9. Give the speaker regular
feedback.
10. Pay attention to non-verbal
cues
How to Listen Effectively

1. Stop talking – be silent DELETE?

2. Show interest
3. Empathize
4. Ask questions
5. Maintain eye contact
6. Practice listening
7. Listen creatively
8. Put your entirety
The Process of Listening

1. Hear

2. Clarify

3. Interpret

4. Respond
Non-helpful Responses
 “You shouldn’t have . . .”
 “You’re wrong.”
 “What were you thinking?”
 “Well, I would have said / done . . .”
 “If you don’t . . .”
 “Did you try to stop it?”
 “The best thing to do is . . .”
 “Let’s talk about something else.”
Listening Blocks

Jumping to conclusions
Infatuation with own words: Too eager to talk,
or solve the problem
Judging: Formulating responses while the
person is talking
Short attention span
Semantics: Don’t assume that words, phrases &
terms mean the same to everyone – it varies by
education, profession & socio-economic class
Listening Blocks . . . 2

Assuming everyone thinks like us: Each person

has a different & unique perspective
Closed mind
Wishful thinking: Hearing what you want to hear
Lack of humility: Believing that you are superior
Fear: Fearing change, fearing that you may be
wrong, fearing that you may hear something that
will upset your ideas and convictions
Listening with the Whole Body
Benefits of Effective Listening

 Enhances productivity
 Improves relations
 Avoids conflict
 Improves understanding
 Improves negotiation skills
 Helps you stand out
 People will appreciate it
 Learn to be a good

“ listener. Your ears will

never get you into
trouble
”
 The greatest gift you

“ can give others is the

purity of your
attentions
”