Lust, romance and attachment – the three things that

happen when we fall in love

Is love truly a drug? And

are looks really that
important? Science
communicator Emer
Maguire talks us through
love's three stages.
STAGE ONE – LUST

We begin with lust, the fun-filled and flirting-fueled first

stage. At puberty, two sex hormones become active in our
bodies – estrogen and testosterone. Suddenly we find
ourselves preoccupied with the urge to find someone to
reproduce with.
Have you ever been in a club and someone makes eye contact with you across
a crowded bar? If so, congratulations! That means you have engaged in the
age old flirting ritual, the copulatory gaze. This intimate eye contact ignites an
animalistic part of the human brain, giving us two choices – approach or
retreat. If the feeling is mutual, feel free to approach your new beau. If not,
back away slowly.
 Stage two – romantic attraction
Once you make your way through all
the flirting and fancying of stage one,
you can move to stage two –
romantic attraction. This is the stage
where you are madly in love. Think
fireworks, Romeo and Juliet, rose
tinted glasses, butterflies-in-the-
tummy kind of love. Your new love is
all you can think about and talk
about, much to the annoyance of
everyone else around you.
Can we explain such euphoric
and romantic feelings through
science? In short, yes.
Stage three – attachment
Welcome to stage three – attachment. You are
now in this relationship for the long haul. Whether
it’s a mortgage, a marriage, getting an adorable
puppy together or having a couple of kids, you’re
pretty sure you and your other half are long-term
lovers.
The brain reacts with a dose of oxytocin, the love
hormone. It acts like the glue in a long-term
relationship. In terms of evolution, it may have
been helpful to be stuck with your partner long
enough to create and raise offspring to help our
species survive.
For those of you who are lucky enough to make it
through the three stages of love, congratulations!
But don’t thank romance – thank science.