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Trinity O’Dell

James Schooler

English

7-10-2021

What exactly is love and what causes it

There are many ways to experience love: you can see, taste, smell, feel, and hear it.

Shapes and sizes are unlimited. What is the significance of this? The phrase "Love conquers all"

is true. But why? Love is a gift for some, but others consider it a curse. What is it about love that

is so important? Is what these people feeling love, or are their minds tricking them into thinking

it is love. Are there any chemical reactions in the body that make them believe they are in love? I

will lay out some scientific evidence I learned from my research and you can form your own

opinion based on that evidence.

In scientific terms, infatuation is when dopamine, a neurotransmitter known to stimulate

the brain's pleasure center, pools with serotonin levels causing a crazy, pleasant, stupefied,

urgent feeling. Scientists have categorized love into three categories. Those categories are lust,

attraction, and attachment. Each of those releases specific hormones based on which of those

three you are feeling. It is testosterone and estrogen that give us the desire to reproduce. The
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substances that cause attraction are dopamine, norepinephrine, and serotonin, which we release

to feel good. Attachment hormones are those released after mothers give birth to, and hold their

babies. Oxytocin and vasopressin regulate attachment hormones. Parents and siblings feel this

way toward one another.

When it comes to attraction, we have all of our senses involved, including our eyesight.

Most hederosexual men prefer women whose voices are higher pitched, while hederosexual

women prefer low deep voices. It is the opposite of their own that’s attractive to them. An

example of touch would be that it may feel better to touch someone with smooth skin or soft

hair, but not want to touch someone who has rough or bumpy skin, or has a coarse textured hair.

Researchers have also found that a person's hormones can cause them to produce a particular

taste. A taste that is unknown to the person themselves, but that another person will pick up on

because it is different from their own. They’ll either be attracted to it, turned off by it, or just be

indifferent to it. Some people considered a kiss to be a bad kiss, not because they weren't

attracted to the person, but because the taste of that person's chemical makeup was not an

inviting flavor for the new person experiencing it. In addition to taste, the human body will

release a specific smell that is capable of attracting or repelling people. The smell of a person is

much more recognized early on when people meet. Some people have a strong or foul odor that

can be smelled from a distance and likely does not draw many people in. On the other hand,

some people produce a sweet, or clean smell of innocence that has people trying to get closer.

Which is why many people go out of their way to smell good for the people they like, or even for

a passing stranger. Not too many people want to be known for an unpleasant smell. When

choosing a partner to reproduce with, all these factors should be naturally taken into account.
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If we can define love, why is it so different for so many people? Now, two people are not

the same, nor do they always think the same, and their bodies react differently than others. I had

a friend recently ask me what the difference is between being sexually attracted to someone and

being romantically attracted to someone. In simple terms, it's the lack of attachment for someone.

Being sexually attracted to someone means you’re only attracted to them in a sexual manner,

desiring nothing more than a physical connection. Being romantically attracted to someone

means they’ve met all the markers that make you desire more than just a physical connection

with them. You are enticed to be connected with them on many levels and in a deeper, more

intimate manner.

The hormones most closely associated with romantic love are oxytocin and vasopressin.

The hypothalamus produces and releases oxytocin and vasopressin, whereas men and women are

both influenced by each hormone, however, women are more sensitive to oxytocin and men are

more sensitive to vasopressin. During the intense stages of romantic love, both oxytocin and

vasopressin concentrations increase. In the brain, these hormones act on numerous subsystems,

and there are receptors present in several brain areas that are involved in romantic love.

Specifically, oxytocin and dopamine, released by the hypothalamus, is stimulated by

vasopressin, which interacts with the dopaminergic reward system. When dopaminergic

pathways are activated during romantic love, a pleasurable feeling is created. In the early stages

of romantic love, these pathways are associated with addictive behavior. So much so that it is

similar to those addicted to cocaine. It is also consistent with obsessive compulsive disorder

behavior, and the pathway is characterized by emotional dependency.

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The hormones most closely related with sexual love are dopamine, norepinephrine, and

serotonin. These three hormones pool together and cause that crazy, pleasant, stupefied, urgent

feeling I mentioned earlier. This combination of hormones is what causes the notable

“butterflies” in your stomach, the “zing” you feel all over your body, and the desire to reach

some form of physical intimacy with another person. At this point the connection is most likely

based solely on a physical attraction to another person, as you’re only interested in connecting

sexually and not interested in a relationship that requires more than a physical nature.

Earlier I explained that love falls into three categories, and from those three categories it

branches into different types of attraction, kind of like a tree graph. The roots of the tree would

be the word love. If three trunks were growing from these roots, the trunks would be the three

categories. Now, off of each trunk you have branches that could be different types of attraction.

Next would be the leaves, and that could be the different styles of attraction. So each instance of

love is it’s own tree and root system (category), telling it’s own story through it’s branches (type)

and leaves (style).

Currently, there are two main types of romantic love: passionate and companionship.

When people think of being "in love", they usually mean passionate love. A person might feel an

intense longing to be in their arms, to the point they think about it obsessively. Sometimes when

passionate love is not accompanied by companionship, it is short lived and the passion fades

quickly. Companionship is often less intense in a physical nature than passionate love, but it is

complex and involves feelings of intimacy and commitment as well as a sense of deep
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attachment to the partner. A desire for a long lasting relationship with another person comes

along with companionship, as does a strong sense of commitment.

More categories can be found within these three categories, one of these being maternal

love. In many ways, maternal and romantic love are similar physiologically. A mother's love

activates brain regions that are the same as those that are activated by romantic love. In

particular, the reward centers are active in maternal love, which contain high concentrations of

oxytocin. However, those associated with judgment and negative emotions, are not active during

maternal love.

Love is important for many reasons, which we need to address. It is love that keeps

people bound and committed to each other. Evolutionary psychologists believe that love evolved

in order to keep parents of children together so they could survive and mature. Human children

spend a much longer period of time growing up than any other species. Because humans rely on

their parents for many years to survive, develop skills and abilities, and live a fulfilling life, love

is particularly important to humans.

Love is not only rooted in evolution but is also rooted in biology. Several

neurophysiological studies have demonstrated that people experiencing passionate love exhibit

increased activation in reward-related parts of the brain. The brain regions that are activated are

the same as those activated by cocaine. In these regions, there is a release of chemicals such as

oxytocin, vasopressin, and dopamine, which lead to feelings of happiness, euphoria, and

excitement that are associated with sexual arousal. Relationships such as those with friends and
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family do not activate these brain regions. According to studies, liking someone is not the same

thing as falling in love with them or craving a physically sexual connection with them.

Let's now discuss the different styles of love. There are three primary styles of love,

according to research. They are Eros, Ludus and Storage (also known as Mania). The three love

styles were first discovered by psychologist John Lee. As a result of these styles, people can

guide their approach to romantic relationships based on their beliefs and attitudes about love.

Eros is the philosophical term that refers to erotic love and is characterized by physical

attraction, indulging in sex, strong feelings for another person, and a strong desire for closeness.

Ludus is distancing oneself from others and playing games are common traits of this type of

behavior. It isn't very shocking that people who endorse this love style are unlikely to commit,

feel comfortable ending relationships, and often start a new relationship before ending the

current one. Storage (mania) is a style of love that many people regard as a more mature form of

love. A relationship is prioritized with someone who has similar interests, affection is openly

expressed, and physical attractiveness is not as important. When people get high on

unconditional love, they are not needy or dependent on others and they are more trusting of their

mate as well as others.

Genes play a very small role in a person's love style but is not non existent. Rather, it

involves the development of one's personality and their past experience in relationships, romantic

and family based. According to some studies, individuals with high levels of negative traits, such

as narcissism and psychopathy, are more likely to like Ludus-style love. They lack the desire for
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the long term and get bored easily with people and relationships. The work it requires for the

long term does not interest them. Eros, is someone that has both strong sexual and romantic

desires. They yearn for physical connections with those they are physically attracted to. This is

likely someone who has multiple partners or is attracted to others even if they’re in a

monogamous relationship. Storage is a love that has an equal balance of all categories

(attraction, attachment, and lust). These will be people who yearn for a sexual and emotional

connection with another person, and look forward to a long term or life long relationship. These

are people that are committed wholly to another and view the other person as an extension of

themselves.

Love is a necessity for humans, but why? Our desire to love and care for others is hard-

wired, because the happiness we experience increases when we fulfill this wish. In addition to

delivering affection to others, expressing love for them benefits the person giving it. As humans,

we have a fundamental need to be loved. A human being's mind and body depend on love just as

much as it does oxygen. As a result, having a strong sense of connection will make you healthier

throughout both your physical and emotional lives. A person who has less love in their life will

also have greater levels of depression. For some people, love is actually a good antidepressant.

Even society is affected by love. Having a sense of community within society is scientifically

proven to facilitate society's function. Love and compassion are the cornerstones of society.

Consequently, togetherness is necessary for further development and progress declines without

it. Relationships and society are built upon values such as love, compassion, trust, understanding,

and caring.
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If love didn't come from the heart, then why does the heart represent it? We cannot

survive without our hearts, which pump blood throughout our bodies and help to distribute

oxygen. Everywhere from ancient artwork to modern anime, you'll find the heart symbol. The

image appears in movies, music, clothing, a million different objects, and, of course, candy.

Western Civilization has connected love to the heart since the dawn of time. Among ancient

cultures, for instance, the Egyptians, the Semites, and other cultures believed that the heart was

the most significant organ because it emanated love, and this belief was universally accepted as

the most powerful emotion of life. With advances in modern science, we are able to study the

heart-love connection with greater accuracy. We can explain why people continue to associate

this superlative feeling with the cardiovascular system's most vital organ even in the 21st

century.

Let's go over the heart and its functions. The heart is giving, fair, and equitable since it

supplies each cell of the body with oxygen, nutrients, and energy as needed. “It generates a flow

that collects waste, to be eliminated by the kidney or the liver.” Every emotion affects the heart,

and it is sensitive to whatever energy is applied to it. In love, one's pulse quickens as his heart

flutters when he sees the object of his sentiment. It sends blood to the face when the time is right,

so it glows and blushes, enticing the target. Aside from transcending Platonic love, the aortic

artery also provides blood necessary to be able to function optimally and in a timely manner

during times of passion. A strong emotion like love or attraction releases a powerful adrenaline

surge in our body, so it's natural that we feel it in our chest first. The pulse of the heart changes

when we experience love and compassion, becoming smoother. As a result, our hearts have

reached peak performance, and our nervous system is in balance. Due to its movements upon
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seeing someone or its actions, humans believed it had come from their hearts. In conclusion, it is

our brain that is the control center for every part of our body and enables our body to react in the

appropriate way to love and all its aspects. It is impossible to control how we feel about

someone. Love is more powerful than intellect, as it is commonly said by many. It doesn't matter

if they know they're with someone bad for them and know it, their body doesn't stop requiring

them. As the old saying goes, "Love conquers all.", since love overcomes all.

Works cited

● S. (2020b, June 19). Love, Actually: The science behind lust, attraction, and

companionship. Science in the News. https://sitn.hms.harvard.edu/flash/2017/love-

actually-science-behind-lust-attraction-companionship/

● The Results Archives. (2019). The Anatomy Of Love.

https://theanatomyoflove.com/category/the-results/

● THE SCIENCE OF LOVE. (2015, February 9). [Video]. YouTube.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oT5qeQft5CE

● The science of attraction - Dawn Maslar. (2014, May 8). [Video]. YouTube.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=169N81xAffQ

● What is love? - Brad Troeger. (2013, September 9). [Video]. YouTube.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5sY4rhvB9LE

● Is it lust or is it love? | Terri Orbuch | TEDxOaklandUniversity. (2014, September 16).

[Video]. YouTube. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Siru3n3zIbM

● What is Love – scientifically? | Dr. Liat Yakir | TEDxEilat. (2017, May 8). [Video].

YouTube. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0akiEFwtkyA
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● The mathematics of love | Hannah Fry | TEDxBinghamtonUniversity. (2014, April 4).

[Video]. YouTube. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N37x4GgDVBM

● Gases y flatulencias. ¿Qué pasa con tu estómago? (2019, March 5).

diariolasamericas.com. https://www.diariolasamericas.com/bienestar/why-is-the-heart-

perceived-as-the-organ-of-love-n4173211