EU112- The Family

VILLAMIN, Dexter S.
College of Education
Love is…
 Definitions of Love
• Love is a mix of feelings and actions that
shows a deep liking for someone or
something.
• Love involves caring for another.
• Romantic love can lead to things such as
dating, marriage and sex, but a person can
also feel for friends, such as platonic love,
or family.
• There are also chemical reactions within
the brain that can be triggered by the
different types of love.
Forms of love
There are many kinds of love.
There can be self-love, love towards a friend (such as platonic love), love in
romance, towards family, toward God, or towards an object or idea.
Often love can be confused with other feelings.
Being sexually or physically attracted is the feeling of lust.
Lust and love may be thought of as different.
Normal friendship is a form of love that can be distracted by
lust and misunderstanding.
 First love

People describe the person that they first

loved romantically as their "first love."
For example, in William Shakespeare's
Romeo and Juliet, Romeo is Juliet's very first
love. At that time, she was only 13.
In Maria Edgeworth's book Belinda, Mr.
Vincent says, "First loves are silly things."
 Chemical basis

The biological model Helen Fisher, an expert

of lust is different in the topic of romantic Lust makes
love, divides it into
from love because it three stages: lust, people like
is more like hunger attraction, and each other
or thirst. attachment.

Attraction Attachment helps

encourages people tolerate the
people to focus spouse (or the
child).
on mating
• Lust is the passionate sexual desire that promotes
mating. This usually lasts only a few weeks or
months.
• Attraction is more for one person specially. Recent
studies in neuroscience say that as people fall in
love, the brain releases chemicals, including
dopamine.
• These chemicals make people less hungry and
sleepy, and also adds an intense feeling of
excitement.
• Research shows that this stage normally lasts from
one and a half to three years.
• Adrenaline- The initial stages of falling in
love for someone activates your stress
response increasing your blood levels of
adrenaline and cortisol. This has
charming effect when you unexpectedly
bump into your new love, you start to
sweat, your heart races, and your mouth
goes dry.
• Serotonin- one of love’s most important
chemicals that may explain why when
you’re falling in love, your new lover
keeps popping into your thoughts.
•Since these lust and attraction
stages are both described as
temporary, a third stage might
describe long-term love.
•Attachment can be used to
describe the bonding period that
helps keep husband and wife
together for many years.
•Attachment occurs in the longer
term.
Love and health

01 02 03
Joyful activities such as Some people
Love has love activate areas in the
consequences brain responsible for usually do not
emotion, attention,
for health and motivation and memory, feel love. They
and it may further lead to are called
well-being. reduction of cortisol,
which reduces stress. aromantics.
What does it really mean when
we are “in love”?
ANS: We being in love means that we have
found the ultimate meaning of life revealed
in other human beings.
Do you really know when you are in love?
Ans: According to a study with 1,000 college students:
MALES
25%- they are sure
59%- they think they knew what it was
16%- they did not know about it
FEMALES
36%- they are sure
54%- they think they knew what it was
12%- they did not know about it
Characteristics of Love
1. CARE
To be caring means that you become
responsible enough to respond to the needs of
your special someone, which makes him/her feel
really special. Caring also means that you
constantly have him or her in mind, making that
person feel secure and protected.
2. RESPECT
When you respect your partner, you don’t contradict
your partner’s wishes, rights and needs even if you may not
agree with him or her. In fact, it motivates you to truly serve
him or her because he or she deserves it. Respect also shows
that you understand that every person, including the person
you love, is a unique human being with a personality that’s his
or hers alone.
3. UNDERSTANDING
Being understanding allows you to be open to a feeling,
situation, statement, or attitude. You may not know the
answers to all the questions you might have, but because you
are understanding, you’re able to see the world through your
partner’s eyes. You also avoid ignoring, dismissing, or
condemning him or her because of what he or she thinks,
says, or does.
4. ACCEPTANCE
You cherish the undeniable fact that both of you look at
each other just as you are and are happy about it. When you
have this attitude, you realize that both of you aren’t perfect
and that you can forgive his or her mistakes or shortcomings.
As human beings, we all crave acceptance, we want to be
valued for the kind of individuals we are.
5. APPRECIATION
You acknowledge the value of your partner’s
personality, inspiring you to give back to him or her
fully---making you feel more fulfilled and happy.
Appreciation is almost synonymous with gratitude,
which is sorely lacking in many modern relationships.
Being appreciative also shows that you focus on the
person’s more positive aspects.
6. TRUST
When you trust someone, you put your full
confidence on him or her. You see the positive qualities
of your loved one’s character., such as his or her
honesty, sincerity, humility, and reliability. It’s a very
basic component of a successful relationship. When
you trust somebody, it’s like saying, “I know what you
think, say, or do and I have no problem about it.”
TRIANGLE OF LOVE

Passion Intimacy

Commitment
1. Passion
-involves the 5 basic senses
- 1st element of love
- Based on immediate physical perception
- Intense desire for physical affection
- LFS or Love at First Sight
- Infatuation (crush)
2. INTIMACY
-knowing each other a lot before making love obvious
- “soul mate” or “best friend”
3. COMMITMENT
- “You may now kiss the bride”.
- They get married, live together, start a family, and remain bound to
each other for the rest of their lives
- Highest element
- A glue that binds two hearts together
WHAT KIND OF LOVE DO YOU HAVE?
1. ILLUSORY LOVE
- “You are so sexy, now let’s get married!”
- FOOLISH LOVE
- 90% passion, 10% commitment
2. ROMANTIC LOVE (passionate and intimate)
- Common type of love (shown in romantic comedy films in Hollywood)
- Has the elements of”
1. physical attraction
2. intense passion
3. mutual intimacy
4. exciting feelings
- Exclusivity
3. PARTNERSHIP LOVE
-is great for couples, but along the way, the passion is not as it once
was
4. TOTAL LOVE
(love times 3)
- When the main elements of passion, intimacy, and commitment work
together harmoniously, creating a relationship that can be described as
ideal
In 300 words, answer this question:
What is the enemy of love?
ANS:
LONELINESS
“You can be alone without being lonely.”
“But when you’re lonely, the feeling is worse than being alone”
“Leave loneliness alone”.
Battle of the sexes
Differences of males and females in terms of:
1. Physical
2. Mental
3. emotional
• A stressed man thinks alone.
• A stressed woman talks about his problem.

• A man thinks in broader terms.

• A woman thinks in specific terms.
“Love must be learned, and learned again; there
is no end to it. Hate needs no instruction, but
wants only to be provoked.”
-Katherine Ann Porter
A woman looks for…
1. Love
2. Trust
3. Happiness
4. Attractiveness
5. Togetherness
6. Understanding
7. Intelligence
8. Support
9. Sharing
10. Intimacy
8 personality types
1. The mind person
-A type of person who earned high grades in college and is the
kind of person whom you normally brand as a genius
-ambitious and hardworking, and is also the type who would
most likely become a doctor, lawyer, engineer or hold any
other respectable, time-honoured profession
-enjoys reading the newspapers, listening to classical music,
and discussing current events.
2. The buddy
-The kind of person you can tell anything and everything to
-someone who makes you feel really at ease
-you are a very close friend, and you enjoy sharing your
deepest thoughts and feelings without fear of disclosure or
rejection
-sweet and reliable, as well as generous and understanding
-always be a face to smile at, a hand to hold warmly and a
shoulder to cry on
3. The honor roll student
-have a fixed purpose and strong determination that’s
virtually written all over their faces, that’s why the
entire school loves them
-also known as the future president, the honor roll
student is dedicated to a cause, with a passion for
change and renewal
-they definitely have an image to protect, and an aura
to maintain
4. The stud and the babe
- Talented who’s always fit and in good shape
- Proud of his physical appearance
- Attractive-looking who likes wearing the
trendiest clothes and hangs out with the “in”
crowd
5. The cyberperson
- Loves technology
- Whiz kids when it comes to anything associated with
information technology’
- Spends most of their waking hours in front of the computers
- Enjoys sending email or chatting online instead of meeting in
good ol’ face-to-face fashion
6. The humourist
- An absolutely happy person
- Has the ability to enliven even the most boring moment
- Loves to make their friends laugh by cracking jokes, making
witty remarks, relating hilarious stories, or just by being plain
funny
- Can also either be very serious with themselves and their
loved ones, but not always
7. The thinker
- Prone to musings, insights, deep reading, quiet moments,
even daydreaming
- Has a deep, mysterious and detached personality which
makes those attracted to them raring to find out what’s in
their heart and mind
- You can find them in parks or coffee shops or bookstores
8. The bon vivant
- Enjoys the good life by having good times with friends and associates
in events and gatherings
- Likes the social scene and enjoys new trends and new friends
- More refined than the stud/babe and not so hyper
- Enjoys eating out, malling, joining clubs
- Has a soft spot for culture and the arts
- He is high-profile
ACTIVITY 1: My Philosophy of Love

•As a person, not just merely human being,

how can you give love to others? Explain
your answer in 300 words.