DEFINITION AND

NATURE OF LOVE
DR. DIVINE J. GLIFONEA
EU112
8 Types of Love According to the Ancient Greeks

• Agape — Unconditional Love

• First, we have agape love. This is an altruistic, selfless,
unconditional love. The Greeks thought it was quite radical,
perhaps because so few people seem capable of feeling it long-
term.
• Some people would describe agape as a type of spiritual love.
For instance, Christians believe that Jesus exhibited this kind of
love for all humans. He was selfless and sacrificed Himself so
that others could be rid of their sins. He suffered for the
happiness of others.
• Eros — Romantic Love
• Eros is named after the Greek god of love and fertility. Therefore, it is
usually associated with romantic, passionate, and physical love. It is an
expression of sexual passion and desire.
• The Greeks were actually quite fearful of this love, strangely enough. They
thought that because human beings have an instinctual impulse to
procreate, that this love was so powerful and it would result in a loss of
control.
• Although the Greeks thought this kind of love was dangerous, it is still the
kind of love that is associated with passionate, sexual love. Even in modern
days, some people believe that this kind of love “burns hot and bright, but it
burns out fast.”
• Philia — Affectionate Love
• The Greeks defined this kind of love as “affectionate love.” In other
words, it is the kind of love that you feel for your friends.
• Ironically, the ancient Greeks thought this kind of love was better than
eros (sexual love), because it represented love between people who
considered themselves equals.
• While a lot of people associate the word “love” with romance, Plato
always argued that physical attraction wasn’t necessary for love.
Hence, why there are many different types of love. This type, in
particular, is often referred to as “platonic” love – love without sexual
acts.
• Philautia — Self-love
• Philautia is self-love. In our modern day society, most people associate
self-love with being narcissistic, selfish, or stuck on themselves.
However, this is not what the ancient Greeks meant by self-love.
• Self-love is not negative or unhealthy in any way. In fact, it’s necessary
to be able to give and receive love from other people. We cannot give to
others what we don’t have. And if we don’t love ourselves, how can we
truly love others?
• Another way to look at self-love is by thinking about it as self-
compassion. Just as you might show affection and love to another
person, you must also show that same affection and love to yourself.
• Storge — Familiar Love
• Storge can be defined as “familiar love.” Although that’s a
strange term, let me explain what it really means.
• This type of love looks and feels a lot like philia – affectionate
love felt between friends. However, this love is more like a
parent-child love.
• Just like philia, there is not physical or sexual attraction. But
there is a strong bond, kinship, and familiarity between people.
• Pragma — Enduring Love
• The ancient Greeks define pragma as “enduring love.” In other words, it’s almost
the opposite of eros (sexual love). Eros tends to burn out quickly because of its
passion and intensity. However, pragma is a love that has matured and developed
over a long period of time.
• The kind of old married couples who have been together since their teenage years
and still hold hands, well, that’s a great example of pragma. Unfortunately, this
kind of love is somewhat rare to find – especially in society today. These days,
people seem to think the grass is always greener on the other side. And therefore,
they don’t have the patience or desire to watch love grow over time.
• This type of love doesn’t require a lot of effort in a relationship. Both people are
good at making compromises, and each of them puts in equal efforts to make the
other person happy.
• Ludus — Playful Love
• Ludus is known as the “playful love.” However, a better way to describe
it is the feeling of infatuation in the early days of romance. If you’ve
been in love before, you know what I’m talking about.
• It’s the butterflies in your stomach, the giddiness you feel when you see
your love walk through the door, and the feeling of never wanting to be
without them.
• Studies show that when people are experiencing this type of love, their
brain is acting much like it does if it was on cocaine. In other words,
your brain is lit up and active just like someone who is literally high on
a drug. It makes you feel alive and excited about life.
• Mania — Obsessive Love
• Mania is not necessarily a good type of love, because it is obsessive.
It’s the type of love that can lead someone into madness, jealousy, or
even anger. That is because the balance between eros (sexual) and
ludus (playful) is terribly off.
• Many people who experience this type of love suffer from low self-
esteem. They fear losing the object of their love, and this fear compels
them to say or do some “crazy” things in order to keep them.
• If not kept under control, mania can be very destructive in some
cases.
The 5 Love Languages

Words of Affirmation
• Some people want to hear “I love you” or other positive
compliments from their partner. And if they don’t hear it, then
they might feel unloved.
Acts of Service
• Doing nice things for other people is called an “act of service.”
Whether it’s changing someone’s oil, cleaning the house, or
giving a back rub, doing things to help make the other person
happy is what this one is about.
Receiving Gifts
• Some people value giving and receiving gifts, and some do not.
So, if you measure your partner’s love by how many gifts you are
given, then your love language is “receiving gifts.”
Quality Time
• Other people measure the quality of their love by how much
time their significant other wants to spend with them. If they
don’t get enough “together time,” then they might feel unloved.
Physical Touch
• Finally, some individuals associate love with physical touch.
Anything from hand-holding to cuddling, and even sex count as
“physical touch.”
Sternberg’s 3 Components of Love
https://www.verywellmind.com/types-of-love-we-experience-2303200

In Dr. Sternberg's theory, the concept of love is a triangle that is made up of three components. Some
of these types of love are focused on the love between two people in a romantic or sexual relationship,
but these types of love also apply to other forms of interpersonal relationships.
• Intimacy, which involves feelings of closeness, connectedness, and bondedness
• Passion, which involves feelings and desires that lead to physical attraction, romance, and sexual
consummation
• Decision/commitment, which involves feelings that lead a person to remain with someone and move
toward shared goals1

Finding a balance between the physiological need for sex and the need for love is essential, and the
complete absence of all three components is categorized as non-love.
What Is a Love Triangle?

A love triangle is not the same thing as the triangular theory of love. In a
love triangle, three people may either be involved in a polyamorous
relationship or two people may compete for the love of the third
individual.
7 Types of Love

Friendship
Components: Liking
This type of love is when the intimacy or liking component is present,
but feelings of passion or commitment in the romantic sense are
missing. Friendship love can be the root of other forms of love.3
Infatuation
Components: Passion
Infatuation is characterized by feelings of lust and physical passion
without liking and commitment. There has not been enough time for a
deeper sense of intimacy, romantic love, or consummate love to
develop. These may eventually arise after the infatuation phase. The
initial infatuation is often very powerful.1
Empty Love
Components: Commitment
Empty love is characterized by commitment without passion or
intimacy. At times, a strong love deteriorates into empty love. The
reverse may occur as well. For instance, an arranged marriage may start
out empty but flourish into another form of love over time.
Romantic Love
Components: Intimacy and Passion
Romantic love bonds people emotionally through intimacy and physical
passion. Partners in this type of relationship have deep conversations
that help them know intimate details about each other. They enjoy
sexual passion and affection. These couples may be at the point where
long-term commitment or future plans are still undecided
Companionate Love
Components: Liking and Intimacy
Companionate love is an intimate, but non-passionate sort of love. It
includes the intimacy or liking component and the commitment
component of the triangle. It is stronger than friendship, because there is
a long-term commitment, but there is minimal or no sexual desire. 
This type of love is often found in marriages where the passion has died,
but the couple continues to have deep affection or a strong bond
together. This may also be viewed as the love between very close
friends and family members
Fatuous Love
Components: Commitment and Passion
In this type of love, commitment and passion are present while intimacy
or liking is absent. Fatuous love is typified by a whirlwind courtship in
which passion motivates a commitment without the stabilizing influence
of intimacy. Often, witnessing this leaves others confused about how the
couple could be so impulsive. Unfortunately, such marriages often don't
work out. When they do, many chalk the success up to luck
Consummate Love
Components: Intimacy, Passion, and Commitment
Consummate love is made up of all three components and is the total
form of love. It represents an ideal relationship. Couples who
experience this kind of love have great sex several years into their
relationship. They cannot imagine themselves with anyone else. They
also cannot see themselves truly happy without their partners. They
manage to overcome differences and face stressors together.
For Reflection:
1. Based on Sternberg's theory of love, who is most likely to have
companionate marriage?
2. In Sternberg’s theory of love, what distinguishes liking for
compassionate love?
3. How does Sternberg’s theory of love pertain to dating?
4. What type of love is love at first sight?
Attachment Theory of Love
• https://study.com/academy/lesson/the-attachment-theory-of-love-
definition-examples-predictions.html
https://www.slideshare.net/Sabeehulrehman/
love-11213560