Personal Development

Lesson
1
Personal Relationship
-may be misleading. You may think that we will talk about relationships with family, with
friends, with neighbors. Then romantic relationships will just be at the rear end, a
sweetener to the lesson.
Attraction
-In forming a social network, attraction serves as an important function that provides
security and satisfies people's needs to belong to a social group (Baumerister &
Bushman, 2008).
-Many factors influence interpersonal attraction characterized by some (may not be all)
of the following: liking, love, friendship, lust, and admiration.
-Both personal characteristics and environment play a role in interpersonal attraction
and they include physical attractiveness, proximity, similarity, and reciprocity.
Physical Attractiveness
-Physical attractiveness is one of the primary determinants of romantic attraction. Most
people prefer whom they consider physically attractive especially in the early stages of
dating. Ideas of physical appearance contribute to the perception of character and
assume certain internal qualities such as kindness, outgoingness (Barocas & Karoly,
1972; Dion et al., 1972).
Proximity
-People tend to get attracted to people who are geographically closer to them. They are
more likely to develop feelings of mutual familiarity and increased level of comfort when
there is regular contact and no prior negative feelings.
Similarity
-People tend to pick partners who are similar to themselves. The more attitudes and
opinions two people share, especially when they are similar, the more they will want to
do the same activities, and would create a strong bond between them
Reciprocity
-People tend to like others who reciprocate their liking. People feel indebted when
someone does something good for them and tend to reciprocate the action.
Essentials and Preferences for My Future Spouse
-Making a list of essentials and preferences will serve as a guide in choosing good
candidates, and "turning down" those who don't qualify.
Dating and Romantic Relationship; Stages of Courtship
-Courtship, as a phase of attraction prior to engagement and marriage, involves "getting
to know each other" and serves as a basis for the persons on whether or not they will
continue their relationship and upgrade to a higher level.
STAGES OF COURTSHIP:
1. Dating
-This process involves getting to know the person and spending a fun friendly
association with him/her. Eating out in restaurants, watching movies, and malling are
usual activities in dating. This stage usually involves no commitment.
2. Selective Stage
-In this stage, a person makes a decision on whether or not he/she will continue seeing
a particular individual and selects whom he/she wants to have a steady romantic
relationship with.
3. Going steady
-In this stage, a sort of romantic relationship is made official. It involves "mutual
understanding' between two people, an agreement that they will date each other
exclusively, and (sometimes), with an intention on marrying each other in the future.
4. Engagement Period
-Couples in this stage are formally and publicly known to be 'engaged'. It involves a
promise to marry each other at a set date in the future.
Love
-Love is the driver for all great stories: not just romantic love, but the love of parent for
child, for family, for country. It is the point before consummation of it that fascinates:
what separates you from love, the obstacles that stand in its way. It is usually at those
points that love is everything" (Jojo Moyes).
-A psychotherapist also defined love as accepting difference, recovering from conflict
and tolerating discord. It is allowing your partner to be entirely who they are, even when
their very being needles you to core. It is a profound acceptance of the personhood of
your lover, while dropping your need for them to be anything different. (Aaron Balock)
-For the poet Muneera Rashida, "love is more than what can be expressed in words;
love is more than 143.
Love is compassionate and soothing; love can be painful and grueling; but only for
growth. Love is not abusive; love is not vindictive, love is not selfish. Love will not leave
you with a black eye and hating yourself. Love is the building blocks of creation; love is
the substance from which we are made. From love, to love, by love".
Triangular Theory of Love
-Psychologist Robert Sternberg is one of the experts who theorized about love. In the
context of interpersonal relationships, his Triangular Theory of Love has three
components: intimacy, passion, and commitment. Interactions among these
components determine different kinds of love.
The three components can be defined as follows:
1. Intimacy involves liking, feelings of closeness, connectedness, and bonding
2. Passion-feelings of romance, physical attraction, and sexual consummation in the
relationship
3. Commitment - shared investments, or the "history" of the relationship, such as
decisions, experiences, and adjustments.
The combination of the three components determine eight "types" of love.
Nonlove- the absence of all three components of love. This type of love is simply
characterized by causal interactions. This applies to acquaintances or someone you are
not attached with.
Liking/Friendship - feelings of closeness, bondedness, and warmth toward the other,
without feelings of intense passion, or long-term commitment.
Infatuated Love - there is experience of passionate arousal but absence of intimacy
and decision/ commitment. When relationships do not develop with intimacy and
commitment, this kind of love may disappear suddenly.
Empty Love - characterized by a presence of commitment with no intimacy or passion.
Examples of this type of love are arranged marriages. However, empty love may
develop into different forms of love.
Romantic Love - characterized both by physical bond and emotional bond in absence
of commitment. Both intimacy and passion are present.
Companionate love - characterized by an intimate, non-passionate type of love with a
long-term commitment.
Fatuous love-passion is present which resulted to commitment but without intimate
involvement.
Consummate love - the ideal and complete form of love that everyone wants to
achieve. According to Sternberg, couples with consummate love are involved in sharing
a deep desire to have a long-term relationship with each other than with anyone else.
However, this type of love is more difficult to maintain than to achieve.
------------------------------------
Commitment
-Being committed in a relationship is to make a promise, pledge, and a decision to stay
together despite the twists and turns encountered in the relationship.
-According to Goddard, there are three dimensions of commitment in intimate
relationships.
-Commitment as an attraction or the "want to" aspect. The relationship makes the
person happy and satisfied. A person becomes committed to someone because of what
he/she gets from the relationship.
-Commitment as a moral obligation or the "ought to" aspect. The person believes that it
is an oath or duty to stay in a relationship even it is no longer satisfying. For instance, in
most religious organizations, divorce or separation is discouraged.
Unacceptable and Acceptable Expressions of Attraction
-Adolescents, especially when new to a relationship, tend to be impulsive and want to
spend most of their time with their source of love and attraction. Because of this, they
may behave in unacceptable ways in expressing attraction.
-Though different cultures may vary in expressions of attraction, the following are some
commonly acceptable and generally unacceptable expressions of attraction.
Acceptable
-Glancing at each other
-Verball communication - saying 'I love you' or 'I like you'
-Smiling
-Writing letters
-Phone calls or chatting
-Giving presents
-Showing attraction through social media (with limitations)
-Holding hands
-Walking arm in arm
-Kiss on the cheeks or 'beso-beso' in some occasions
-Going out (usually with chaperons)

Unacceptable
-Kissing/cuddling/holding in public
-Flirting
-Invading personal space
-Intimate activities
-Back rubbing/massaging/caressing/stroking

Expressing Attraction / Affection Acceptable and Unacceptable Behaviors

-For students already in romantic relationships, the goal should be to further know each
other so that they could make decisions as to whether they continue being in the
relationship, or to part ways. The goal should not be to like everything about the other
person, or to hide from the other person things about you that he/she might not like.
Since there is already the mutually expressed liking for each other, expressed verbally
or in writing, "I like you" and/or "I love you", there is already that emotional connection or
attachment between the two persons. This emotional connection then needs or wants to
be followed- through with physical connection, or physical intimacy.
Physical intimacy starts with holding hands, arms on shoulders (akbay), hands on the
waist (side-to side embrace), brief hugs, which progress to prolonged embracing,
stroking and petting.
Teenage Pregnancy
-One of the consequences of going too far in physical expressions of attraction is
teenage pregnancy. The documentary film Oyayi ni Nene (Taym Pers!) tells of the
difficulties teenage moms go through.
Becoming responsible in relationships
-Being in a relationship takes responsibility. The following are some of the suggested
ways on how to become responsible in a relationship.
1. To avoid regrets from heartaches that you may encounter, you should make sure that
you are ready before you enter into a relationship.
2. Make sure that you are at least emotionally mature to face obstacles accompanied by
being involved in a relationship.
3. Weigh down the possible risks and consequences before doing anything.
4. Avoid being shy in approaching mature individuals, especially your parents, in asking
things regarding relationships
 Personal Development

Lesson
2
Social Relationship
-vital to adolescents development
Social Role Theory
- describes or day-to-day activities as expressions of socially-defined categories, like
doctor, son, teacher, president, etc.
Each Social role refers to set of:
-functions and duties
-demands and expectations
-privileges and rights
-norms and behaviors that a person has to imbibe and act out as accorded
Various Role And Status in Society (Family)
-status, it refers to the position that an individual is expected to hold in a group or in a
community.
-Role pertains to the behavior that is expected from a person holding such status.
-Status can be both ascribed or inherited and achieved or acquired.
-Ascribed or inherited status comes by virtue of birth such as age, gender, family
background, and ethnicity
Father
-was recognized as the breadwinner
-expected to be the leader and authority figure in the family
-However, the role of the father has changed over time. -Today, some fathers stay at
home to take care of the children and do the household chores, while the mother works.

-The father also nurtures and disciplines the children together with the mother.
Mother
-mother's primary role is to take care of and nurture her husband and children in the
house.
-However, with the changing roles of parents in the society -some mothers now work
outside the home -and serve as leaders and authority figures in the family together with
the father or, in certain instances, as single parents.
Children
-Children are basically expected to perform tasks at home. -are also expected to go to
school, graduate, and help their siblings.
-Children may be engaged in varied roles especially adolescents like you who may be
involved with either community or organizations and many more.
(Community)
Church Leaders
-are expected to lead the faithful and the entire congregation in church services and
other outreach and faith-related activities.
Government Officials
-are expected to perform their roles and responsibilities and abide by the code of ethics
for government service.
Professionals
-professionals have their own specific roles and functions in the community defined by
their training in school, internship, and professions.
-some of these professions require licensing to establish full authority, trust, and
credibility in their respective fields of work.

4 Skilled Workers
-(mechanics, craftsmen, electricians, bakers, etc).
-Skilled workers are highly needed in the community since their respective specialized
skills are exclusive.
-they gain more authority and credibility if they are licensed (e.g.,TESDA certification).

Youth Leaders
-are expected to lead young people and initiate activities that may motivate and drive
young people to be productive in society.
-being members of youth organizations, young people are expected to follow their
leaders.
-they perform specific functions in the organization that may develop or enhance their
skills.
-they discover more of themselves along the way, including other things they could do
to meet the needs of the organization.
As an adolescent having roles in society
-is like taking part in a stage drama. his adolescent is performing as a certain character
and is expected to perform to the best of his or her abilities.
-however, the difference between stage drama and social role is that the earlier is fixed,
unchangeable, and simple in character,
-while the latter can be made changeable and varied in character.
-The functions may be well defined or not, but still there are expectations.
Social influence
-refers to the impact that social factors and constructs have on the person in terms of
emotions, opinions, or behaviors brought about by social engagements.
Influence
-may mean a change in behavior caused by a person to another, whether intentionally
or not, resulting into a changed perception about themselves, others, and society as a
whole.
Three areas of Social Influence:
CONFORMITY
-is when adolescents change their behavior to be like others. One example of this is
when
-they seek approval from others to feel that they belong. The challenge to this is that
they can go as far as
-changing their beliefs and values system to fit with peers or well-admired superiors.

GROUP LEADERSHIP
-leader is expected to lead others.
-one can stand out as leader in group.
-according to John Maxwell in his book, 21 Irrefutable Laws of Leadership, the true
measure of leadership is influence - nothing more, nothing less.
-he further explains that if a leader lacks the ability to influence, leading is nearly
impossible.
Some of the Major Skills that a leader should have:
1. General background of leadership
2. Knowledge of job description and standards of evaluating work performance
3. Knowledge of self and self-envisioning
4. Formulating vision and mission of the team
5. Conflict resolution management
6.Planning, leading, organizing and controlling (PLOC)
7. Mentoring and coaching
8.Human relations and customer service
9.Power-dressing
10. Communication skills
11. Stress management
Followership
-refers to one's ability to take directions and to deliver what is instructed of him/her.
-also refers to a role held by an individual who involves himself/herself in any group or
organization.
-the success of a leader is caused by followers who commit themselves toward
accomplishing the goals set by them.
-thus, the study of followership is closely associated with leadership.
(Self)
1. Self-management
-this involves the followers' ability to critically think, control, and work independently.
2. Commitment
-this is a quality of followers who stick to the goals or thrusts of the group or team.
3. Competence
-this refers to the essential skills and aptitudes of followers that allow them to perform
their duties.
-and responsibilities as well as to improve and upgrade themselves continually through
higher education, training, and workshops.
4. Courage
-this refers to the followers' ability to stand their ground, unbent by unethical practices of
some corrupt leaders or superiors. They are honest and loyal.
 Personal Development

Lesson
3
Family Structures and Legacies
>Basic Types of Family Structure
1. Nuclear Family
-implies the sharing of two generations of family members under the same roof.
-Family contacts amongst kin (for example, brothers, sisters, cousins and so forth) are
usually weaker and less frequent that amongst member of extended families.
2. Extended Family
-consists of three or more generations living in the same household (or very close
proximity).
-(vertical)The usual name for this type of family is a "vertically extended group" because
the "extensions" to the basic family group are
-inter-generational (that is, "between generations"- they involve grandparents rather
than uncles or aunts.)
-(horizontal)Another form of extended family structure is that of the "horizontally
extended family" which involves relations such as aunts, uncles, cousins and so forth
under the same roof. The "extensions" to the basic family group branch out on an
-intra generational dimension.
-There are social reasons for the existence of this basic type of family structure.
-each family member provides some kind of support to the remaining members of the
family.
3. Single-Parent Family
-this family structure involves a single person plus dependent children.
-Although it is more likely to involve a female parent, a significant proportion of such
families involve a male parent.
-This type of family is sometimes referred-to as a "broken nuclear" family, insofar as it
often - but not always - arises out of the break-up of a nuclear family.
This family structure can be attributed to four main factors:
1. an increase in the numbers of people divorcing.
2. the removal of most of the social stigma formerly involved in pregnancy outside
marriage (this type of single parent family usually involves the desertion of the male
partner following female pregnancy)
3. The death of marriage partner.
4. The decision not to get married but yet to play the role of parents through adoption.
4. Step-Families
-this form of family unit is one of the consequences of high rates of divorce and
remarriage (or cohabitation). -Stepmothers and stepfathers head the family.
-This type of family is usually nuclear in form and involves parents, children of either
spouse from a first marriage and (possibly) children from their present marriage.
>Four Keys to Strengthening Parent-Adolescent Relationship:
1. Connectedness
• Adolescents who express a sense of connectedness to parents and family are at
reduced risk for unhealthy behavior.
• Key components are feeling close to parents/family; feeling cared for by family; feeling
satisfied with family relationships.
2. Regulation and Monitoring
- General high expectations about behavior are protective, from parents, school and
community avoid "permission giving" attitudes or "normalization" of poor behavior
-"Late" expressions of expectation have little effect on behavior - express early and
often
-Clear expressions of high parental expectation (e.g, get good grades) actually reduce
emotional stress in youth
-Setting clear expectations for behavior is called "regulation" and encouraging good
behavior is "monitoring"
3. Healthy decision-making and autonomy
-Psychological autonomy= A child's capacity to think and decide critically and
independently from parents
-Independent decision making helps youth identify and express their feelings and ideas
and deal with their feelings
-Independent decision making helps youth think critically - youth can think consciously
about behavioural consequences
-Make decisions-youth can make personal decisions and resists negative peer pressure
 Personal Development

Lesson
4
Person and Careers
Personal Development
-is not a tools for reaching a bigger goal.
-becoming a complete human being is already the biggest and most noble goal can
aspire to..
4 Categories of Career Development Theories
1. Trait factor- skill, value, interest, and personality characteristics are analyzed and
matched with job factor or an occupational profile
2. Psychological- Theory where holland identified six personality categories, realistic,
investigative, social conventional, enterprising, and artistic. A person usually made up of
all six personality categories will have one domain type, but may exhibit up to three of
these types. People in search of career path area are often confuse because of a mix
their dominant type of preferences.
3. Decision - theory of self-efficacy, which means that a person may exercise control
over his or her thoughts, beliefs and actions and that self efficacy is predictor of
behavior, Self efficacy is defined as "belief in one capabilities to pan, organize and
execute a state of actions that will produce the desired result.
4. Developmental or the life span theory - the idea that human are always in constant
change and go through life learning and doing new thing while changing roles in the
process
Different Challenges that may affect your decision in your career choice
1. Self Concept or Self Identity -your self-identity should be solid, there is a need to
know and understand what you want to do or do not want to do.
2. Personal Preferences -you might have decided to take up accountancy but your
mother told you that being a nurse like one of your aunts will help you earn a lot of
money.
3. Motivation - the drive to fulfill ones full potentials is he best motivation any person
can ever have in living a meaningful life.
4. Self Confidence - the self confident person will keeps his eyes on his goals, and
declare to the world that he can do it and will succeed in the pursuit of his dream.
5. Personal Skills - basic education teaches us the hard skills we need to acquire so we
may quality for higher education, such as learning math and sciences.
6. Personal Characteristics - knowing your personality characteristics will definitely
help you in choosing a career.
7. Personal Health -the condition of your health is a major factors in the career choice
you will make. knowing your characteristics will help by knowing the courses that you
know that suits your character.
8. Emotional Considerations - an emotionally disturbed individual will end up deciding
on the wrong thing.
9. Self sabotaging thoughts - thoughts that deter a person from developing a healthy
a wholesome self-concept statements such as 'I cannot do this. I will never succeed I
am not intelligent enough for that courses' Nobody believes in me, so why should I even
believe in myself? are stumbling blocks in your journey toward self-actualization