Personal
Development
Week 1 & 2
RECALL
What is Mental Health?
a state of wellbeing in which the individual
realizes his or her own abilities, can cope
with the normal stresses of life, can work
productively and fruitfully, and is able to
make a contribution to his or her
community”
Does MENTAL HEALTH MATTERS?
can affect many areas of your life; work,
school, or home life, relationships with others,
sleep, appetite, energy levels, ability to think
clearly or make decisions, physical health, life
satisfaction and more...
Mental health includes
emotional, psychological
and social well-being.
Why should mental health matter to
you and your family?
When your mental health suffers, it
can become hard to enjoy life. You
may start to feel run down, both
mentally and physically
Objectives:
1. Discuss an understanding of personal
relationships.
2. Identify the appropriate way of expressing
your attraction, love, and commitment.
3. Use and show your appropriate love language
to others.
What is this lesson all about?
The concept of relationship is very broad,
complex, and varies from person to person
Researchers have found that relationships are
important to a person's happiness
The absence of close relationships can produce
negative effects such as feeling worthless,
powerless, and alienated.
We can say that every relationship has specific
objectives or purposes that a person wishes to
pursue, either because of need, want, and/or desire.
The very first meaningful relationship every
person encounters is with one's mother. The
mother-child relationship is already established
even before birth because of the connection.
varied activities that can help you build and
maintain a good relationship with your family,
friends, and significant other by identifying the
appropriate way of expressing your attraction
and love to them.
What does Pre-historic humans means of
interacting through different forms of behavior?
These were all necessary for their survival
especially in the group that they belonged to
What is the primary reason why
human beings need to belong?
How about today, is belongingness still
exists? What are its benefits?
having a support system - someone to share your
sadness, happiness, and other concerns,
In the Adolescence Stage, a sense of identity
begins to form which involves shaping values and
setting future goals.
Activity
The People Around Me.
My Family, Friends, and
Significant Other's Portrait
Answer these process questions orally,
What kind of close connections you have with them?
How did you feel when you were creating the portrait of
your family, friends, and partner (if there’s any)?
What made it easy or difficult for you to illustrate it?
What are the new things you realized or discovered about
your personal relationships?
Kinds of Close Connections:
[Link] RELATIONSHIP
refers to the association and
close connection between
people, formed by emotional
bonds and interactions
PERSONAL
RELATIONSHIP
generally refer to family,
friends, and significant
others
PERSONAL RELATIONSHIP
Changes in the physical and cognitive
aspects go along with the changes in
relationships especially with family and
friends during the adolescence period.
In the adolescence stage,
a new understanding of one's self occurs
(independence, identity, and self-esteem)
A person’s personal relationships then play a
significant role in the adolescent's pursuit of
self-understanding
Family Relationship
What is FAMILY?
- defined as people living together in a
household who are related by birth, marriage,
or adoption.
- It may include siblings and parents
whom you grew up with
One’s family relationship can also
be extended to grandparents, aunts,
uncles, and cousins though not living
together.
In a family, roles are also defined.
Parents and older relatives’ role is
to guide, discipline, and support
younger members.
What plays a vital role in a person's well-
being?
Family bond
- It helps form other kinds of
relationships such as friendships and
romantic relationships bound by love and
closeness.
On the other hand,
RELATIONSHIPS
- may involve
arguments, disagreements,
moments of anger, and
hurt.
What happen if there may be a
usual increase in arguments and
conflicts with parents when
adolescents assert their
independence as their way of
finding self-identity?
These are short-lived for
families when there is love,
care, and understanding.
In families, the physical expression of
bonds also varies.
How are we going to express
our affection to our family
members?
These actions show closeness and respect
for each other.
Hugging
kissing on the cheek or forehead
patting the head or tousling the hair
patting on the back, etc.
In whatever ways affection is expressed
Friendship
Who are FRIENDS?
Friends
are the people who are not related to us by blood but we
choose to interact with them.
are the people with whom we share our trust, respect, and
care
We feel that we can confide in them and we
want to spend time with them
Friendship is a reciprocal relationship
Good friendships are mutually respectful,
supportive and share common interests and ideas.
It should be built on honesty, support, and
loyalty.
degrees of friendship
only known each other for a
short time (Acquaintance)
“best friends or close friends”
It is not in the number of people
with whom you can call friends but
in the quality and that everyone is
different.
However, romantic contact or
being intimate physically is not
appropriate in a friendship.
Romantic Relationship
is when you feel strongly attracted to the other person
This should be reciprocated by the other person in the
relationship.
is described as the closest form of relationship in which, the
two people who are involved will often describe themselves
as being attracted to each other and/or "in love".
How do people in a romantic
relationship do?
What can occur normally in
a romantic relationship?
How can we AVOID?
Arguments and disagreements
As two people continually share interests and desires to
live their lives together, they eventually discuss their
future plans.
For adolescents, various kinds of physical contact
are not appropriate. These include prolonged
cuddling and holding, kissing on the lips, and
sexual intercourse.
These activities may lead to premarital sex and
untimely pregnancy
And so, for the romantic relationship to be
successful for both adolescents
Why is it that every human being has his/her way of
expressing his attraction, love, and commitment?
due to our different
life experiences
When the attraction between two
persons is discussed
based on physical appearance while this
might be true to a certain extent but
there is more to the attraction
According to Helen Fisher,
attraction is primarily on physiology or certain
hormones that get attracted to others and are the
first stage during the changes of personality
development which leads to closeness, love, and
commitment
Why do disappointments in relationships
occur?
because of the misunderstanding
about the different ways of expressing
their attraction, love, and commitment
Activity: The People I am Attracted to
Approaches of attraction, love, and
commitment:
I. Biological Model of Love
- As proposed by anthropologist Helen
Fisher, there are three brain systems of love:
Lust refers to an urge or desire that
motivates us to partake in sexual activity. It
is also described as a sex drive associated
primarily with estrogens and androgens.
Attraction is described as
the love-struck phase. It
involves focusing attention on
a particular person.
Factors that may influence attraction:
a. Physical Attractiveness is one of the
primary determinants of romantic attraction.
Most people prefer whom they consider
physically attractive especially in the early
stages of dating.
Factors that may influence attraction:
b. Proximity can be explained when people
tend to get attracted to people who are
geographically closer to them. They are more
likely to develop feelings of mutual familiarity
with the people who live close to them.
Factors that may influence attraction:
c. Similarity is when people choose partners whom they
find similarities such as social class, religious beliefs, and
education. It explains when two people share more attitudes
and opinions, the more they will want to do the same
activities.
As a result, they would create a strong bond between
them.
Factors that may influence attraction:
d. Reciprocity means people like others
who like them back. The more a person is
liked by someone, the more he/she behaves
in ways that promote mutual feelings of
liking.
Attachment is a deep and enduring emotional
bond that connects one person to another. Usually,
long-lasting commitments are exchanged when
people are attached even across time and space.
II. Triangular Theory of Love
As suggested by Robert Stenberg (1988), there are
three main components of love:
is interpersonal relationship that involves
physical or emotional intimacy. It is
characterized by closeness, connectednes
and boundedness.
is described as an intense emotion towards a
person. It is also shown as compelling interest
for someone. Like having a desire to spend
time with a person most of the time.
is an act of deciding to
consistently fulfill and live by
agreements with another
person.
the values of integrity and
respect are evident
It shows loyalty and
conveying honesty.
III. Theory Love Style
Ancient Greeks studied love and giving
each type a Greek name. Lee (1973)
offers a theory derived from an analysis
of writings about love through centuries.
Philia – Affectionate Love usually runs
deep in true friendship.
It occurs without romantic attraction between friends or
family members.
It is also called brotherly love when both people share the
same values and respect.
It can be shown by engaging in deep conversation,
exchanging beliefs and imperfections, being open and
trustworthy, and being supportive in difficult times.
Pragma – Enduring Love is described as a
mature love that develops over time.
To reach this relationship commitment and efforts are
needed.
With the partner by your side, you are "standing in
love" instead of "falling in love".
It is expressed by strengthening the bond, seeking and
showing effort with your partner, and choosing to work
with your partner.
Storge – Familiar love is a naturally occurring love
rooted in parents and children, as well as best friends.
It’s an infinite love built upon acceptance and deep emotional
connection.
It usually flows between parents and children or childhood friends.
Ways to show this love are sacrificing one's time, self, or personal
pleasures, showing gratitude, and quickly forgiving.
You also share memorable and impactful moments.
Eros – Romantic Love is characterized by
personal infatuation and physical pleasure.
It is a passionate love displayed through physical
affection.
In this case, admiration is focused on someone's
physical body.
Hence, the couple engages in physical touch such as
hugging and kissing even if it not appropriate yet.
Ludus – Playful love is a child-like and
flirtatious love found in the beginning.
This type of love consists of teasing
and playful motives between two
people.
It is shown by having fun together.
Mania – Obsessive Love as named is described as
obsessiveness or madness over love.
It leads to unwanted jealousy or possessiveness.
To avoid it, obsessive or possessive behavior must be
recognized to be properly addressed.
One should learn to focus on oneself more than
another person.
Philautia – Self Love is having a healthy “self-
compassion” towards one’s self.
It is when you recognize your self-worth and
don’t ignore your personal needs.
Self-love begins with acknowledging your
responsibility for your well-being.
Agape – Selfless Love is the highest love to
offer.
It is an empathetic attitude of love.
It is given without any expectations of receiving
anything in return.
It is considered unconditional love.
It is expressed by helping the other person
improve his life.
Additional Activity:
Take the "Love Language Personal Profile"
based on Dr. Gary Cahpman’s The 5 Love
Languages using this link
[Link] Do a screenshot and
send it in my messenger.
M2-TAKING RESPONSIBILITY IN A
RELATIONSHIP
Healthy relationships (strong)
- are a vital component of health and well-being.
- contribute to a long, healthy, and happy life.
- can help you live longer, deal with stress, be
healthier, and feel richer. (Research)
This is an example of how oftentimes people deflect
ownership of their behaviors and play the blame game.
Imagine this scenario:
"Why would you put ketchup all over
my fries? " Jacks asked. Then Jill
replied, "Well, you should've told me
that you don't like ketchup!".
Is Jack responsible for his ketchup-covered fries, or
should Jill have taken responsibility for her behavior?
Taking responsibility in your relationship is the
acknowledgment and ownership of every action and
word you say and do.
Why taking responsibility is important?
Taking ownership and responsibility for your actions is an important part of
healthy relationships.
Doing so is an empowering reminder that you have control over the role you
play in your relationship.
Taking responsibility creates trust and dependability.
When you take responsibility for your behaviors, you demonstrate to your
partner, family, and friends that your willingness to be honest and vulnerable,
which encourages them to be open and authentic with you.
The situations given in the previous activity can all
apply to your family and significant other or partner.
Learn to recognize examples of people who engage in
negative behaviors that lead to unhealthy
relationships.
How to become responsible in real life?
Taking responsibility is not just a one-sided practice.
It looks like practicing self-awareness.
The following ways to use the empowering action of
taking responsibility are important for you and your
family, friends, or partner to use and practice in your
relationship.
1. Be Honest
“You have to love yourself before you love others” is a versatile
phrase that has multiple meanings when applied to relationships.
It can translate to “You have to be honest with yourself before you
can be honest with others.”
Being honest with yourself begins with a healthy sense of self-
awareness.
And being self-aware means you acknowledge that what you say and
do impacts your family, friends, and partner.
2. Act on Situations, Don’t React
When people are held accountable for their behaviors, they often become defensive.
Getting defensive is a reaction.
When you act on a situation, you can respond with clarity and awareness.
You can practice acting on situations instead of reacting by taking deep breaths or counting
to ten.
It also helps to take a second and look at the situation from your partner’s perspective.
It can be hard to think from the other perspective, especially in the heat of the moment.
By being honest with yourself and your partner, you can effectively respond by taking
responsibility.
3. Be Willing to Forgive Your Other People and
Yourself
Everyone makes mistakes and forgiving yourself or your partner is
important for moving past challenges and making your relationship
stronger.
When you view taking responsibility for your mistakes as an
opportunity to learn, your relationship can become a place that fosters
4 and celebrates growth.
Forgiveness builds trust and accountability in your relationship, breaks
down resentment, and stops the never-fun "blame game."
Taking responsibility for your behaviors in your relationship
requires honest and open communication and a willingness to
address unhealthy excuses with your family, friends, and
partner.
They’re not always easy discussions to have, but you’ll find
that doing so builds trust within your relationship over time and
is an empowering way to learn and grow.
Summary
1. Important aspects to nurture a relationship are the
following: mutual respect, compassion, empathy,
understanding, acceptance, honesty, trust, good
communication, consideration, compatibility, mutual
enjoyment, personal dignity, vulnerability.
2. To become responsible in a relationship in real life
requires practicing self-awareness.
The following ways to use the empowering action of taking
responsibility are important for you and your family, friends, or
partner to use and practice in your relationship.
✓ Be Honest
✓ Act on Situations, Don’t React
✓ Be Willing to Forgive Your Other People and Yourself
1. How to become responsible in a relationship in real
life and what does it requires?
2. What are the things you can do or promise to
yourself to become responsible for maintaining the
healthy relationship you have with other people?
Additional Activity:
Write/Compose (song/poem) possible ways
on how you will change your unhealthy
relationship with others, a healthy
relationship (if there's any).
