Southwestern College of Maritime, Business and Technology, Inc.

Quezon Drive, Calero, Calapan City, Oriental Mindoro

www.scmbt.edu.ph / slmifnav.official@gmail.com / slmifnav@yahoo.com.ph

SUBJECT: Personal Development DATE:

MODULE #: 7 TEACHER: Ms. Jhobell M. De Sagun

I. TOPIC Personal Relationships

II. LEARNING COMPETENCY

 identify ways to communicate and manage emotions in a healthy manner

III. TARGET LEARNING OUTCOMES

At the end of this lesson, the students will be able to:

 discuss that understanding the intensity and differentiation of emotions may help in
communicating emotional expressions
 explore one’s positive and negative emotions and how one expresses or hides them
 demonstrate and create ways to manage various emotions

IV. MATERIALS NEEDED AND REFERENCES

Materials Needed: To accomplish exercises and activities, you need the following: visual
aids, laptop/cell phone, flash drive, ball pen, paper and/or other writing materials and other
available references.
References: Personal Development by Ma. Theresa M. Cruz & Eugene B. Cruz II

V. GEAR UP YOUR MIND

How do know if you are attractive or not? What qualities do we find attractive in others? What
makes people attractive?
People in different cultures have varying ideas about the characteristics that make a person
attractive. For instance, thin people are perceived as attractive in some cultures while in others,
weight is an indication of wealth and fertility.
Physical attributes are usually the first ones to get noticed in a person but of course, others look
beyond these to determine attraction. Attractiveness is determined by characteristics that mark
status in any given culture. Following the old proverb, people who are thought to be attractive are
those who are healthy, wealthy and wise.
For this reason, physical attractiveness is not only the quality that determines one’s feelings
towards others. Most often than not, we are likely to choose friends and romantic partners who
share similar traits with us such as age, personality and intelligence, and those who belong to the
same social groups and thus share religious beliefs, economic class and educational level. In other
words, we tend to form relationships with people who share similar interests and are of the same
social groups as we do. Forming an intimate and close relationship is easier with people who are
likely to accept our behaviour and attitudes.
LOVE RELATIONSHIPS: THEIR CHARACTERISTICS & HOW THEY DEVELOP
Let us look at the development of love. What exactly does it mean to be in a loving relationship?
What are the stages that occur in every individual in entering into one?
Love Relationship
Love is complex concept to study. It is too personal and too integral to being human.
A loving relationship is intimacy, passion and commitment between two people. This definition is
based on the triangular theory of love of an American Psychologist, Robert Sternberg.

According to Sternberg, every relationship is made up of one or more parts intimacy, passion and
commitment. And various combinations of these aspects can lead to different types of love.
A close friendship has intimacy, where the two people share a bond. Love at first sight is based on
passion. There is the loveless relationship where the feeling of excitement has passed into
intimacy and commitment, and there is no passion. There are various other combinations and
descriptions f these three parts intermingling.

Developing Over Time

When a relationship or love interest is new, it is so easy for you to fall into the trap – that what you
are feeling is unique and special, that somehow, your love is special.
STAGE 1: Attraction - it is a positive response to a person beyond friendship.
The first step in this stage is physical attraction. It happens when your body reacts to another
person. Your heart rate increases, your temperature rises, your palm gets sweaty, there is butterfly
in your stomach, your throat tightens, and so on and so forth. Physical attraction represents the
first contact.

STAGE 2: Romance – it is an act of trying to influence or gain the favour of another by lavishing
attention or gifts upon them. These are two types of romance: selfish romance and selfless
romance.
Selfish Romance occurs when you do romantic acts solely for the purpose of gaining something for
yourself.
Selfless Romance on the other hand, occurs when you do romantic acts for the enjoyment and
pleasure of your partner. You receive your enjoyment and pleasure through his/her happiness.

STAGE 3: Passion- it is the desire for another person, which has grown to an intensity that cannot
be ignored. This is often the point where an emotional relationship turns into a physical
relationship.
STAGE 4: Intimacy - it is a close association with another person of the deepest nature.
During this stage, you share your thoughts, your feelings, your dreams. In true intimacy, there is
nothing that you cannot tell the other person (though we often hesitate because of our own
unfounded fears).

STAGE 5: Commitment – it is a pledge to remain true throughout good and bad times.
Commitment is easy when times are good but can be extremely difficult when times are bad.

THE COLORS OF LOVE

A Canadian psychologist in the 1970s, John Alan Lee, realized that love is a lot like color. In his
book, The Colors of Love, he described the primary and secondary love styles. Each is different,
depending on expectations and goals for the relationship, and your love style greatly influences
how you communicate. Indeed, love is like color.
Primary Love Styles
Beginning with the three primary love styles - the most basic one – is eros. This is the ‘love at first
sight’ kind of love, the head-over-heels puppy love of most on-screen films.
The second primary love style is ludos, which means sport in Latin. This love style views a
relationship as a game to be won.
The third of the primary love styles is storge, which means friendship in Greek. This love style is
based on shared interests.

Secondary Love Styles

The first secondary love style is a mixture of eros and ludos. Known as mania, this love style is
obsessive love wherein individuals in a relationship experience a roller coaster ride. Driven by
passion and is often branded by jealousy or possessiveness, mania has a lot of extreme highs and
lows.
The next secondary type of love is a mixture of ludos and storge. Known as pragma, this love style
is practical love. individuals are careful in weighing the advantages and disadvantages before
entering a relationship.in the selection process, individuals typically look at the person’s education
level, income, religious beliefs, and social status.
Lastly is the selfless love from a mixture of eros and storge, known as agape. This love style is a
reflection of unconditional, enduring, and devoted love. It is both intimate and passionate and relies
on patience, kindness, and devotion. Individuals in this love style are very much willing to sacrifice
for their partner.
SIGNS OF ATTRACTION FOR FEMALES
Body Touching and Posturing
When a girl is attracted to someone, she normally touches parts of her erogenous zones. These
are the areas of the body that are more sensitive to touch and can lead to sexual arousal. Body
language experts say that it is important to distinguish between intentional and non-intentional
touching of the body. Since the lips are one of the most seductive zones of the body, when a
woman strokes her lips with her index finger, it is often an intentional indication of strong interest.
Similarly, stroking of the collar bone below the neck may also be done consciously.
Eye Glances
One of the strong signs that one is interested with another person is through a direct and prolonged
eye contact a genuine smile is most common.
Social Space
A girl sends a positive sign of interest when there is closeness. When sitting at a table, a girl will
often use an object on the table as a prop to mediate moving closer. When she starts moving her
glass toward the middle of the table, bending forward toward the other person to hold it, she is
interested. Leaning forward is a positive sign of attraction.

SIGNS OF ATTRATION FOR MALES

Body Touching, Posturing
Comparable to the girls, boys touch erogenous zones when they are attracted to someone. Males
would often stroke their chest or stomach area. They say boys (and men) are like peacocks when
their suitor mode is on. The chest is often puffed up and the posture tall. If he is shy, he may turn
his head but the front of his body will be facing you. A real poser, the hand may stroke the side of
the hair or puff up the top. Men love to touch their lips. Licking the lips in a slow, methodical
manner is one of the favorites of males.
Eye Glances
Boys like to stare into your eyes when he is interested in you (although they also stare into the
eyes of those they are not interested in). to find the real prince charming, girls have to examine
carefully the sincerity of the body language, facial expressions, eye gestures, as well as the
intonation of his voice and your intuition. Boys love to wink and raise the eyebrows to show
interest. But these signs of flirtation are also used regularly in a casual, non- serious manner.
Social Space
Men are found to be more aggressive in terms of entering a physical space and of touching. They,
too, will move the glass across the table to get closer to a date, but they are more apt to move the
glass to the side, opening up the space between you. Common gestures are touching arms and
shoulders. Rubbing the back is a very intimate gesture. These movements on a romantic interest
should be slowly negotiated so as not to offend the other person.
Physical touch is one of the five languages of love. Maintaining the spark is necessary to keep a
lasting relationship – whether through verbal or non-verbal communication. However, sometimes, it
can be very difficult for two lovers to keep their hands off of each other even when in public. In this
generation, most of us have been witnesses to all kinds of affectionate lovers engaging in public
display of affection (PDA).
Where Public Displays of Affection are not okay? There is undeniably a time and place where
couples should engage in this kind of unrestrained behavior. Many couples need to be mindful that
PDA is not acceptable from of showing affection in different cultures and countries. In truth, many
cultures take these acts very seriously – they even have laws prohibiting people from engaging
PDA.
NAME OF STUDENT: Personal Development
SECTION: MODULE #: 7

VI. BOOST UP YOUR LEARNING

Direction: Write down different ways to express attraction, love and commitment. Mark the box with
a check mark if you think that it is an acceptable method, otherwise, mark it with a cross mark and
then write a brief rationalization to prove your point.

METHOD OF EXPRESSION / or x RATIONALIZATION

1.

2.

3.

4.

5.
ACTIVITY #2: After learning the dynamics of attraction, love and commitment, what have you
realized? Think of three topics and write a reflection of how they have impacted your life