The science of love

When do you know if you fancy someone? What does love

do to your brain chemicals, and is falling in love just
nature's way to keep our species alive?

We call it love. It feels like love. But the

most exhilarating of all human emotions is
probably nature’s beautiful way of keeping
the human species alive and reproducing.

With an irresistible cocktail of chemicals, our

brain entices us to fall in love. We believe
we’re choosing a partner. But we may merely
be the happy victims of nature’s lovely plan.
 

It’s not what you say...

Psychologists have shown it takes between 90 seconds and 4

minutes to decide if you fancy someone.

Research has shown this has little to do with what is said,

rather

 55% is through body language

 38% is the tone and speed of their voice
 Only 7% is through what they say

The 3 stages of love

Helen Fisher of Rutgers University in the States has proposed 3 stages of love – lust, attraction
and attachment. Each stage might be driven by different hormones and chemicals.

 
Stage 1: Lust

This is the first stage of love and is driven by the sex hormones testosterone and oestrogen – in
both men and women.

Stage 2: Attraction

This is the amazing time when you are truly love-struck and can think of little else.
Scientists think that three main neurotransmitters are involved in this stage;
adrenaline, dopamine and serotonin.

Adrenaline

The initial stages of falling for someone activates your stress response, increasing
your blood levels of adrenalin and cortisol. This has the charming effect that when
you unexpectedly bump into your new love, you start to sweat, your heart races and
your mouth goes dry.

Dopamine

Helen Fisher asked newly ‘love struck’ couples to have their brains
examined and discovered they have high levels of the neurotransmitter
dopamine. This chemical stimulates ‘desire and reward’ by triggering an
intense rush of pleasure. It has the same effect on the brain as taking
cocaine!

Fisher suggests “couples often show the signs of surging dopamine:

increased energy, less need for sleep or food, focused attention and exquisite
delight in smallest details of this novel relationship” .

Serotonin

And finally, serotonin. One of love's most important chemicals that may explain why when
you’re falling in love, your new lover keeps popping into your thoughts.
Does love change the way you think?
A landmark experiment in Pisa, Italy showed that early love (the attraction phase) really changes
the way you think.

Dr Donatella Marazziti, a psychiatrist at the University of Pisa advertised for

twenty couples who'd been madly in love for less than six months. She wanted
to see if the brain mechanisms that cause you to constantly think about your
lover, were related to the brain mechanisms of Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder.

By analysing blood samples from the lovers, Dr Marazitti discovered that

serotonin levels of new lovers were equivalent to the low serotonin levels of
Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder patients.

Love needs to be blind

Newly smitten lovers often idealise their partner, magnifying their virtues and explaining away
their flaws says Ellen Berscheid, a leading researcher on the psychology of love.

New couples also exalt the relationship itself. “It's very common to think they have a relationship
that's closer and more special than anyone else's”. Psychologists think we need this rose-tinted
view. It makes us want to stay together to enter the next stage of love – attachment.

Stage 3: Attachment

Attachment is the bond that keeps couples together long enough for them to have and raise
children. Scientists think there might be two major hormones involved in this feeling of
attachment; oxytocin and vasopressin.

Oxytocin - The cuddle hormone

Oxytocin is a powerful hormone released by men and women during orgasm.

It probably deepens the feelings of attachment and makes couples feel much closer to one
another after they have had sex. The theory goes that the more sex a couple has, the deeper their
bond becomes.

Oxytocin also seems to help cement the strong bond between mum and baby and
is released during childbirth. It is also responsible for a mum’s breast
automatically releasing milk at the mere sight or sound of her young baby.

Diane Witt, assistant professor of psychology from New York has showed that if
you block the natural release of oxytocin in sheep and rats, they reject their own
young.

Conversely, injecting oxytocin into female rats who’ve never had sex, caused
them to fawn over another female’s young, nuzzling the pups and protecting
them as if they were their own.

Vasopressin
Vasopressin is another important hormone in the long-term commitment stage and is released
after sex.

Vasopressin (also called anti-diuretic hormone) works with your kidneys to control thirst. Its
potential role in long-term relationships was discovered when scientists looked at the prairie
vole.

Prairie voles indulge in far more sex than is strictly necessary for the purposes of reproduction.
They also – like humans - form fairly stable pair-bonds.

When male prairie voles were given a drug that suppresses the effect of vasopressin, the bond
with their partner deteriorated immediately as they lost their devotion and failed to protect their
partner from new suitors.

 
 And finally … how to fall in love

 Find a complete stranger.

 Reveal to each other intimate details about your lives for half an hour.
 Then, stare deeply into each other’s eyes without talking for four
minutes.

York psychologist, Professor Arthur Arun, has been studying why people fall in love.

He asked his subjects to carry out the above 3 steps and found that many of his couples felt
deeply attracted after the 34 minute experiment. Two of his subjects later got married.

Is love just a chemical trick of the brain to

help pass on genes?
"Just" is really a huge over-simplification.  The problem with "just" is that it carries emotional
baggage that hints at "insignificance", "unimportance", "simplicity" and "uncomplex".  The
general reality of biology is that everything is just a highly complex set of chemical processes. 
You are an organism that just exists to pass on your genes.  Love is just a bonding emotion that
facilitates that fact.  Pain is just a sensory perception that is there to keep you from harm. 
Pleasure is just there to keep you focused on things that extend life. 

But that really doesn't paint a fair picture, doesn't it?  Just because we can do a bit of reductio ad
absurdum and come up with over-simplified statements that lead us to a desired conclusion,
doesn't mean that it makes sense on the level that we live our lives.  "Well, because I'm only
composed of really worthless elements — hydrogen, oxygen, carbon, calcium and adamantium†
— I must not be all that valuable."

Yes, love is an adaptation to bond us to our kind.  Those born with stronger bonds worked
together and pooled resources.  They out-competed those who didn't bond with their kind.  They
increased survival because coordination frequently delivers better results than "going it alone".  
That bonding caused those with it to breed more successfully over those who did not and thus
they passed that trait on.   In some creatures, the bonding grew and grew as it became an auto-
catalytic mechanism. 

Like Birds of Paradise continuously selecting for brighter and brighter plumage, love -- itself --
caused those with it to select those who demonstrated more and more of it.  Those with greater
bonding capacity, passed it on, while those without it met with less success.  Eventually that
capacity for bonding with its own kind reached the stage where we're at today -- and in English
we label that profound emotional bond, "love".  (But mom simply calls it, "Oxytocin" -- she's
such a romantic!).
This misses the gestalt of a thing.  "A system of phenomena or integral pattern that forms a
functioning unit in which the whole is more than the sum of its constituent parts."  Love may
have been that.  Love may be that.  But for us, it's so much more.  I couldn't care less if I'm a
determinalistic ugly bag of mostly water. . . it still feels real and feels important. 

We've grown beyond simple evolutionary pressures.  The fortuitous gifts of our evolutionary
history have accumulated into a species in which the total sum of those individual gifts
(emotions, logic, curiosity, creativity, order, chaos, pattern recognition, bravery, etc.) is far
greater than each of them alone.  Taken one by one, they'd be very interesting.  Crammed
together into one brain, they deliver a creature of extraordinary purpose and value.

†I'm just fucking cool like that?! Oh you don't have a skeleton laced with Adamantium? Pah!
  
Updated 3 Oct, 2014 • View Upvotes
More Answers Below.
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Shakti Amarantha, exploring the science behind tantric sex at moderntantra.blogspot.com

460 Views • Upvoted by Adriana Heguy, molecular biologist, genomics researcher
Shakti has 50+ answers in Evolutionary Biology.
The neurochemistry is just a small part of a reinforcing loop involving the behavior of both
people, which is determined by two complete, functioning, deeply complex mind-body systems
called "human beings."  Behavior that increases oxytocin production in certain parts of the brain
tends to reinforce and elicit more behavior of the same sort, but the behavior itself is determined
by everything else that goes into your personality. 

So in what sense is it a "trick"?  It's the mechanism by which you identify the people whom you
care about the most and who return your care.  Clearly, as social animals who rely on deep bonds
of cooperation for survival, we need a way to keep track of the people we trust and care about. 
Why would the specific mechanism for doing that matter in the slightest?
Ref:
Oxytocin and Emotional Bonding

Pair Bonding's Emotional Effects

Intoxicated by Love

Excerpt from Intoxicated by Love:

Is It Just a Trick?
Knowing that strong feelings are triggered by brain chemistry can sometimes make people feel
uncomfortable, as if it were all a trick. Are we cold-bloodedly manipulating ourselves into
feeling love for our partners?

Really, this is a problem that crops up whenever we learn more about how our minds and bodies
work. For example, researchers often talk about consciousness and self-awareness being
“illusions” created by the brain. This upsets a lot of people. But when you dig into what they
mean, they are not saying that the way we experience our own existence is false. They’re just
saying that consciousness and self-awareness are constructed by the brain from the output from
other brain systems that are not conscious and self-aware.

It would be more accurate to say that consciousness is a model of your body and your
environment that lets you plan actions and anticipate changes, and that self-awareness is a model
of your own mind that is created by your brain to let you think about yourself and think about
thinking. That’s an interesting and convoluted way of describing it, but it’s also quite a mouthful,
so it’s easier to just call it an illusion, even if that’s misleading for people outside the field.

In the case of ... oxytocin, the important thing to remember is that oxytocin just amplifies
favorable feelings; it doesn’t create them. If you don’t care for someone, cuddling with
them won’t make you love them. In fact, there’s some research that shows that oxytocin
also amplifies dislike, making people who are exposed to an oxytocin nasal spray more
inclined to dislike members of an opposing group.

(emphasis added)
  
Written 6 Oct, 2014 • View Upvotes

 
Adriana Heguy, genomics researcher
1.4k Views • Adriana has 300+ answers and 79 endorsements in Evolutionary Biology.
As a biologist, I'm annoyed at the usage of supposedly "cold" biology-based words to belittle or
simplify human emotions or behaviors.

So what if there is a lot of neurochemistry and endocrine function involved in experiencing the
profound emotion of attachment that we call "love"? So what if evolutionary pressures led us to
feel strong attachments to other humans? It's no less extraordinary or complex or powerful
because it has a biological basis, is it?

We fall in love and pair-bond and get bathed in oxytocin because that contributes greatly to the
survival of our children. We fall in love even deeper when we first see our babies, and we all
become Momma Bear at that point (or Papa Bear), don't mess with our cubs! But is that less
extraordinary because evolution favored that type of overwhelmingly strong parent-offspring
bond in mamnmals? Some chemical trick that is!

I personally think the biological complexity of the whole thing, makes it even more
extraordinary and awe inspiring.
Updated 7 Oct, 2014 • View Upvotes • Not for Reproduction

Nick Nuzzo
258 Views • Upvoted by Adriana Heguy, molecular biologist, genomics researcher
Emotions are a lot more complicated than helping to "pass on genes" and the way they work in
the brain is a lot more complicated than a "chemical reaction."  Especially something like
"love."  It depends on how you define love and it serves many purposes.  If you define love as a
passion for something then it serves to give our lives meaning.  It gives us a feeling of purpose. 
That which we love becomes our life's self-crafted purpose. Love is more than an emotion.  It is
essential to our progress as a civilization.  Without love, knowledge falls on deaf ears and
thinking does not exist.  For thoughts to exist there needs to be motivation and without thoughts
there exists no ideas, no innovation.  Love (passion) and knowledge go together like space and
time.  Having knowledge without emotion is like building a car without an engine.  Emotions are
the impetus of progress! 

Now if you define "love" as the emotions felt for another person.  It's the same thing.  The
passion is just felt for another human being rather than your interests.  This kind of love is
different depending on the relationship.  It does serve an evolutionary purpose... Reproduction,
protection of kin, altruism, etc, but love goes deeper than that.  Fundamentally you are correct,
but the issue with love is a lot more complex than that.  Love also drives social progress.  It
endures. It's a bond that can last a lifetime and comes from the most primitive parts of our brain,
but our emotions are more complex than most animals and go beyond survival.

Love's purpose is not to just help us survive, it helps us thrive and brings color to our world.  It
brings balance.  It can do a lot for being "just" a chemical reaction.

I also believe there is an element of mystery to this thing we call "love".  Sometimes there
doesn't seem to be any explanation at all for the feeling.  And that's the beautiful thing about this
world.. It's mysterious.  Without love science would not be beautiful to me.
  
Written 24 Aug • View Upvotes
Daniel Super, Uncommon Sense and Unconventional Wisdom
334 Views • Daniel has 390+ answers in Evolutionary Biology.
Love is just a word. Words are a collection sounds describing symbols that are associated with
meaning.

The word love in particular is associated with a human emotional experience. There have been
countless words written about the experience of love throughout human history.

The idea that love is a chemical reaction in the brain is a fairly new one. A more precisely
phrased definition than was used to ask this question would probably be the closest thing we
have to describing the literal significance of the world love.

Does that devalue all the words written to describe all the figurative significance to the word
love?

I don't think so.

  
Written 18 Sep, 2014 • View Upvotes

Quora User, Storyteller & Robotics Grad Student

419 Views
I think love is a "chemical trick" to reinforce the bonds among humans. We survive and thrive
together. We build off of each other's successes and suffer from each other's failures. So love, the
mirror neurons (or "empathy" neurons), and all those things help glue us together to form a unit.
Kinda like a beehive, or an ant colony.
  
Written 18 Sep, 2014 • View Upvotes

Guy Verrijdt, just your little more than average curious

257 Views • Upvoted by Adriana Heguy, molecular biologist, genomics researcher
Yes, you are right.

I have no arguments against that statement.

But while you've started stripping the significance and the purpose of love, why stop here?

You could argue that any emotion (hunger, thirst, anger, sadness, fear, ...) is just a trick our
brains pull on us to pass on our genes.

You could argue that our amazement of the beauty of nature and earth is just a trick of our genes
to make us care and protect that same earth so that we maintain an environment in which they
can thrive.
You could argue that 'life', all life forms on earth, past, present and future, including ourselves,
every human being, are just tricks that genes use to maintain themselves, to keep floating around.

But what will that knowledge give you?

Does it make the emotions involved less overwhelming? less signficant? less life determining?
At first, maybe it does, but when you think of it more deeply, you cannot be untouched by the
beauty and complexity of life on our insignificant little blue planet.
  
Written 25 Aug • View Upvotes

Quora User
184 Views
Yes. But it’s not that easy. ’Trick’ implies a plan, but evolution doesn’t have one. Consciousness
leads to a bunch of secondary effects that influence how we perceive circumstances with bearing
on our lives. For passing on genes it has been favorable for us to organize ourselves in units of
two adults with complementary traits. To facilitate this team building, we interact within an
emotional feedback system of supporting thoughts and actions. One particularly interesting
example is the Ben Franklin effect which relates to one having done or completed a favor for
someone is more likely to do another favor for that person than they would be if they had
received a favor from that person. Ye ol’ give and receive, push–pull, live and let live, love and
be loved – the Golden Rule, basically.
  
Written 12 Mar • View Upvotes

Tony Nguyen
200 Views
Love is an imprecise word that can refer to any relationships that are mutually beneficially in
some way. The chemical trick can't be called love because it is only a part of love, and it isn't one
trick but a number of tricks, and it isn't a trick but is actually a process that isn't well known to
the average person. The processes includes chemicals such as serotonin, oxytocin, nerve growth
factor, cortisol, etc. Certain stimuli-signals activate certain neurons which release certain
chemicals that trigger other certain neurons that alter behaviour. Its purpose isn't to pass on
genes, actually it doesn't have a purpose at all. It just happens to have been effective for our
ancestors and you're anthropomorphizing it by suggesting that it is purposeful like a whole
human. Under different conditions, different processes would arise.
  
Written 18 Sep, 2014 • View Upvotes

Demi OG, Freshman at AMDA University, Dancer, health enthusiast, gym junkie.
104 Views
LOVE, is NOT chemical. Not at all. Human beings tend to try and accept simple descriptions
and defenitions such as these in order to move along in life with ease and without worry, or in
otherwords, not accept that some things cannot be fully understood and therefore are prone to
complication and thus, behold, the common fear of the unknown. The visible word 'love' is
mainly the result of how we humans have a tendancy to put a title or name for everything we
discover, and usually, after that thing is discovered we humans are able to give an appropriate
description or definition for it. But of course, Love is something we just have not been able to
fully comprehend because our minds cannot fully wrap around the fact that there are many little
details that can alter what we've come to know about love on our own or from others or both. In
any case, I always suggest this to anyone who is having doubts as to whether or not Love is good
or bad or even 'chemical'.... You MUST see LOVE as a living thing, a life within your life that,
just like your normal life, has it's own climaxes, downfalls, and resolutions, just like your normal
life it has endless doors to explore, so much as to if you remain in the 'gray area' the place of 'if I
do nothing than nothing can hurt me'..then you will NEVER GROW into the person you were
ment to be. Always remember that sufffering and pain are inevitable in any life, especially a
Love life, but you have to admit that they are the parts of life that you learn the MOST from, and
once you accept them, everything becomes so much brighter, easier, and less complicated thus
you become the dictator of your emotions and not the other way around because you know
better. It's good to feel emotions fully, but do NOT let them determine your actions, let alone
your whole outlook on life. Explore Love deeply and vastly, because that's how it's meant to be.
  
Written 21 Sep, 2014
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