Cultural Reflection: Focus on Self

In this reflection, I will be writing about Selena Gomez’s new song “Lose You

to Love Me.” I chose this song because I think it reflects part of a very popular

mindset in the current era that relate to some of the topics we discussed in class

regarding the Renaissance.

There is one line in particular, I believe, is a good opening line to the topic. “I

needed to hate you to love me.” I’m not sure if Gomez is saying that as a past

thought that was wrong or if she is stating that she does indeed need to hate the

person in question to learn to love herself again. Either way, it is a common idea in

the modern era. Many people have this idea that self esteem and value is in the

hands of others, or that our self esteem depends on ourselves, but in order to regain

our sense of value, we must sometimes cut others out of our lives. I understand that

sometimes, people need to cut toxicity out of their lives. Of course, in a perfect and

ideal world, the best course of action would be to forgive said person and through

love, build them up to be a better person. However, in a broken world full of broken

people, that is not really an option all the time.

I personally disagree with the line. I think sometimes you may need to forgive

someone to be able to truly love yourself, but hating someone will not help. If

anything, I think it may corrupt your self love and possibly turn it into self pride. You

should never need to put someone down to put yourself up. This relates to the

Renaissance’s popular idea of putting oneself at the center. The people of the

modern era and also of the Renaissance both seemed to hold this belief, to a certain

degree, of “bettering” ourselves at the cost of others.

This does not align with the Christian worldview because Christianity focuses

on self-sacrifice. I also think that this idea of putting ourselves before others comes
from a lack of a foundation for our understanding of self esteem and value, which

Christianity provides through God and Jesus’ love. You do not need to put others

down when you already know you are loved, and therefore, you can love yourself.

Additionally, with the absence of God who commands love, there is no reason to

really love others at your own expense.

Works Cited

“Selena Gomez - Lose You To Love Me (Official Lyrics).” Selena Gomez - Lose You

To Love Me (Official Lyrics), YouTube, 31 Oct. 2019,

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rMT1oRyKyDE.