Intro to Academic Writing

Writing at University
－What does academic writing look like?
Academic writing
Mindfulness may not only be applicable for the prevention of
relapse in depression, but also for the treatment of acute
depressive symptoms. Hofmann et al. (2015) conducted a meta-
analytic review of effect sizes in 39 studies evaluating the efficacy
of mindfulness based approaches in treating symptoms of
depression. They found that, overall, mindfulness based therapies
for people with depression had a large effect size (0.95). The
study’s authors note that theirs was the first large-scale and
scientifically rigorous meta-analysis in this field. Furthermore, the
large effect size revealed here was identical to that revealed
previously for the efficacy of cognitive behavioural therapy (Butler
et al. 2016). This indicates that mindfulness is potentially as
effective as the commonly used and broadly scientifically validated
cognitive behavioural therapy approach, and that more research is
needed to compare the two methods for long-term efficacy, cost
benefits and appeal to patients.
What is different about academic
writing?
Mindfulness may not only be applicable for the prevention of
1. Audience relapse in depression, but also for the treatment of acute
depressive symptoms. Hofmann et al. (2015) conducted a
meta-analytic review of effect sizes in 39 studies evaluating
2. Tone the efficacy of mindfulness based approaches in treating
symptoms of depression. They found that, overall,
3. Language mindfulness based therapies for people with depression had a
large effect size (0.95). The study’s authors note that theirs
was the first large-scale and scientifically rigorous meta-
4. Content analysis in this field. Furthermore, the large effect size
revealed here was identical to that revealed previously for the
5. Perspective efficacy of cognitive behavioural therapy (Butler et al. 2016).
This indicates that mindfulness is potentially as effective as
the commonly used and broadly scientifically validated
6. Aim cognitive behavioural therapy approach, and that more
research is needed to compare the two methods for long-term
efficacy, cost benefits and appeal to patients.
7 steps to success

1. Analyse
2. Brainstorm
3. Research
4. Plan of attack
5. First draft
6. Revise and edit
7. References
Keywords in academic writing:

• Planning;
• Critical thinking;
• Referencing;
• Well-supported points (Structure)
• Evidence-based arguments;
• Logical development (Language)
• Grammar (Editing)
Structure and Language
Paragraphs
Paragraphs give your writing structure. Each paragraph should
cover one idea or one aspect of an idea. A paragraph consists
of a topic sentence, a number of support sentences, and an
optional concluding sentence
The introduction of university education has also had a major impact on the
role nurses play within patient care. As nurses have been able to develop
their knowledge and skills away from the worries and stress of the work
environment, they have become more empowered and more confident in
the workplace (Stevens 1992). As a result, they are more likely to offer their
opinions as professionals and have a greater role in patient care. This is
clearly demonstrated by the work of Maison (2003) who found that
university trained nurses were more likely to consult with doctors in trauma
and paediatric wards than their hospital trained counterparts. This is a
change from the hospital base educated nurses who were well trained but
played a relatively insignificant role in planning patient care. In her review
analysing the traits of nurses trained in hospitals rather than universities
(n=120), Lehane (2001) found that deference to authority, particularly in
relation to the doctors, was stressed throughout their training when
compared with university trained nurses. University education has
therefore led to the advancement of the nursing profession, where
nurses now have a voice in patient care plans. However, it must be
noted that because university education does not reflect the true nature of
the working environment, students often have difficulty adjusting to other
aspects of ward work.

Adapted from the University of South Australia (2005)

Topic Sentence
• Topic and controlling idea
• The most general sentence in a paragraph (first)
• Every sentence in the paragraph should support the topic
sentence.

Too Specific
The slang expression ‘so long’ is likely a corrupted version of the
Arab word for goodbye – Salaam.

Too General
English has been influenced by many languages.

Just Right!
The Arabic origin of many English words is not always
immediately apparent.
The introduction of university education has also had a major impact on the
role nurses play within patient care. As nurses have been able to develop
their knowledge and skills away from the worries and stress of the work
environment, they have become more empowered and more confident in
the workplace (Stevens 1992). As a result, they are more likely to offer their
opinions as professionals and have a greater role in patient care. This is
clearly demonstrated by the work of Maison (2003) who found that
university trained nurses were more likely to consult with doctors in trauma
and paediatric wards than their hospital trained counterparts. This is a
change from the hospital base educated nurses who were well trained but
played a relatively insignificant role in planning patient care. In her review
analysing the traits of nurses trained in hospitals rather than universities
(n=120), Lehane (2001) found that deference to authority, particularly in
relation to the doctors, was stressed throughout their training when
compared with university trained nurses. University education has therefore
led to the advancement of the nursing profession, where nurses now have a
voice in patient care plans. However, it must be noted that because
university education does not reflect the true nature of the working
environment, students often have difficulty adjusting to other aspects of
ward work.
Adapted from the University of South Australia (2005)
P This is the point you want to make in
support of your topic sentence (POINT).

E Provide some evidence to support your What should I do after I have

point (EVIDENCE). written my topic sentence?

E Make sure you explain why your

evidence supports your point. (EXPLAIN)

L/C Use this sentence to re-enforce your

original point and link to your next point OR
your next paragraph. (LINK/ CONCLUDE)
The introduction of university education has also had a major
impact on the role nurses play within patient care. As nurses
have been able to develop their knowledge and skills away
from the worries and stress of the work environment, they
have become more empowered and more confident in the P This is the point you want to make in
workplace (Stevens 1992). As a result, they are more likely to
support of your topic sentence (POINT).
offer their opinions as professionals and have a greater role in
patient care. This is clearly demonstrated by the work of
Maison (2003) who found that university trained nurses were
more likely to consult with doctors in trauma and paediatric E Provide some evidence to support
wards than their hospital trained counterparts. This is a your point (EVIDENCE).
change from the hospital base educated nurses who were
well trained but played a relatively insignificant role in
planning patient care. In her review analysing the traits of E Make sure you explain why your
nurses trained in hospitals rather than universities (n=120), evidence supports your point.
Lehane (2001) found that deference to authority, particularly
(EXPLAIN)
in relation to the doctors, was stressed throughout their
training when compared with university trained nurses.
University education has therefore led to the
advancement of the nursing profession, where nurses L/C Use this sentence to re-enforce
now have a voice in patient care plans. However, it must your original point and link to your next
be noted that because university education does not reflect point OR your next paragraph. (LINK/
the true nature of the working environment, students often CONCLUDE)
have difficulty adjusting to other aspects of ward work.
Adapted from the University of South Australia (2005)
This changing role has had an impact on the image of
nurses. Previously they were seen as the doctor’s helper P This is the point you want to make in
where they were ‘disciplined, sober, humble, obedient and support of your topic sentence (POINT).
never complained about her [sic] work (Stevens 1992,
p.202). Now they are considered to have a more influential
role in diagnosis, treatment and prevention as Duffy et al. E Provide some evidence to support
(1989) discovered in her meta-analysis on the subject. your point (EVIDENCE).
University education has cause a shift in the public’s
perception of nurses where the job is now considered
‘worthy of a college degree’ (Duffy et al., 1989, p. 17). As E Make sure you explain why your
nurses’ roles have changed in the above ways, they have evidence supports your point.
had a more influential role in diagnosis, treatment and (EXPLAIN)
prevention. University education has consequently
changed the roles of nurses and their images meaning
that nurses are now seen in a more professional standing L/C Use this sentence to re-enforce
which has had a significant impact on wages and labour your original point and link to your next
relations. point OR your next paragraph. (LINK/
CONCLUDE)
Adapted from the University of South Australia (2005)
 Topic Sentence
University education has consequently changed the roles
A of nurses and their images. This means that nurses are
considered professionals which has had a significant
impact on wages and labour relations.
P This is the point you want to make in
Now they are considered to have a more influential role in
support of your topic sentence (POINT).
diagnosis, treatment and prevention as Duffy et al. (1989)
B discovered in her meta-analysis on the subject. University
education has caused a shift in the public’s perception of E Provide some evidence to support
nurses where the job is now considered ‘worthy of a
your point (EVIDENCE).
college degree’ (Duffy et al., 1989, p. 17).

Previously they were seen as the doctor’s helper where E Make sure you explain why your
C they were ‘disciplined, sober, humble, obedient and never
evidence supports your point.
complained about her [sic] work (Stevens 1992, p.202).
(EXPLAIN)
This changing role has had an impact on the image of
nurses. D
L/C Use this sentence to re-enforce
As nurses’ roles have changed, they have had a more your original point and link to your next
E point OR your next paragraph. (LINK/
influential role in diagnosis, treatment and prevention.
CONCLUDE)
Adapted from the University of South Australia (2005)
This changing role has had an impact on the image of
nurses. Previously they were seen as the doctor’s helper P This is the point you want to make in
where they were ‘disciplined, sober, humble, obedient and support of your topic sentence (POINT).
never complained about her [sic] work (Stevens 1992,
p.202). Now they are considered to have a more influential
role in diagnosis, treatment and prevention as Duffy et al. E Provide some evidence to support
(1989) discovered in her meta-analysis on the subject. your point (EVIDENCE).
University education has caused a shift in the public’s
perception of nurses where the job is now considered
‘worthy of a college degree’ (Duffy et al., 1989, p. 17). As E Make sure you explain why your
nurses’ roles have changed, they have had a more evidence supports your point.
influential role in diagnosis, treatment and prevention. (EXPLAIN)
University education has consequently changed the roles
of nurses and their images. This means that nurses are
considered professionals which has had a significant L/C Use this sentence to re-enforce
impact on wages and labour relations. your original point and link to your next
point OR your next paragraph. (LINK/
CONCLUDE)
Adapted from the University of South Australia (2005)
Sentences
A sequence of words that begin with a capital letter and ends in
a full stop. The sentence must make sense as a single unit.
Sentence Writing Tips
1. Create an objective, confident voice

Use the third person (this means not using 'I')

•This essay discusses the importance of ...
•This research shows that ...
•It could be said that ...

Consider your use of tenses

You need to be clear about whether you are discussing something that happened
in the past or something that is having an impact upon the present.

•Smith's (1914) argument illustrates that ...

•Freud's (1904) theory supports the view that...
•The Industrial Revolution had an impact upon society in a number of different
ways.
•The interviews were conducted with a group of parents in the Leicestershire
area.
Adapted from the DeMontfort University Leicester (2010)
A little bit more about writing in the 3rd person…

In this essay, I will examine how gender and ethnicity are factors that can affect
buying behaviour among adolescents.

A careful examination of how gender and ethnicity are key factors that can
affect buying behaviour among adolescents.

In my opinion, assisting developing countries to grow crops such as tobacco

and opium poppies is not in their best interest long-term.

Assisting developing countries to grow crops such as tobacco and opium

poppies is not in their best interest long-term.
2. Use appropriate language for your audience and purpose

Academic writing need not be complicated, but it does need to have an

element of formality.

Avoid contractions
Avoid: 'don't', 'can't', 'it's', 'should've',

Avoid using informal words

Avoid: Smith's (2017) bit of research is ok.
Smith's research is significant because ...

Minimise you ruse of words like: 'get', 'got' or 'a lot'

Try: 'obtain', 'obtained' or 'many'

Adapted from the DeMontfort University Leicester (2010)

3. Be clear and concise

Keep words simple

Avoid: The denotation was obfuscated by the orator.
Try: The meaning was hidden by the speaker.

Aim for the right word for the right occasion:

Crusade against crime VS Campaign against crime

The word 'crusade' has connotations of a battle and is more aggressive in tone than
the word 'campaign'. 'Campaign' implies a more considered approach

Make every word count:

Avoid: The theorist called Sigmund Freud wrote a significant piece of work called
On Narcissism which offers valuable insights into ...
Try: Freud (1914) offers valuable insights into ...

Avoid any vague words or phrases:

Ensure that your reader knows who or what you are referring to when you use
words such as: 'it', 'them', 'they'
Adapted from the DeMontfort University Leicester (2010)
4. Use language sensitively

Avoid expressing strong opinions too directly

Academic writing is concerned with presenting your discussion in an
objective way, so there is no need to assert your opinions too strongly
Avoid: Smith (1998) has an extremely important point to make because
Try: Smith's (1998) view is significant because ...

Lean towards caution

Your use of language must show that we you making suggestions which
contribute to this wider discussion:
Avoid: 'This view is correct because ...'
Try: 'It could be said that ...', 'It appears that ...', 'It seems that ...'

Do not stereotype, generalise or make assumptions

•This especially applies to individuals or groups on the basis of their gender,
race, nationality, religion, physical and mental capacity, age, sexuality,
marital status, or political beliefs.

Adapted from the DeMontfort University Leicester (2010)

Useful phrases

Resource from the University of Manchester

http://www.phrasebank.manchester.ac.uk/
Editing
Why??
• Presents a well-written and clearly
finished piece
• Ensures your piece reads well
• Enables you to change, rearrange or
discard material to clarify points &
achieve a well-crafted final product
• Illustrates your interest in presenting a
refined assignment
• Less likely to annoy lecturers
• Allows you to improve your writing in
future
What should I look for?
Voice • Who is the target audience?
• Is the voice appropriate to the audience and purpose?
• Is the tone too formal/informal? No slang!

Cohesion • Do ideas in each sentence flow together?

• Is there clear logical flow from the ideas in one sentence to the next?
• Do transitions between paragraphs show a connection and/or the reason you
have put the paragraphs in that order?
• Have you sign-posted to the reader where the essay is going next?
Referencing • Have you introduced paraphrased material and/or quotations and cited them?
• Have you tried to paraphrase rather than quote word for word?
• Is it clear what information, ideas and words are yours and which come from
sources?
• Do in-text citations & the bibliography list follow the specified format?
Criticality • Have you critiqued the sources you’ve referred to and given a reason?
• Tip: go through your assignment with a red pen and everywhere you’ve made
a critique mark an X. If you don’t have many Xs by the end of the essay that
indicates you need to go back and provide more analysis and criticism of the
research you’ve cited!
Revising Example

‘Part-time jobs can be perfect for a student if they do not

interfere with school. An employer should also offer flexibility
with scheduling to accommodate major projects or extra-
curricular activities for school. Some employers even offer
incentive programs designed to encourage students to keep
up their grades.

Students like having the craic with their friends in school and
it has been shown that recreational time can help ease
stress.’
Revising Solution
COHESION:
Moving from
students to
Part-time jobs can be perfect for a student if they employers
do not interfere with school. All employers must
follow the state and federal regulations for
employing minors (Walsh 2009). An employer
should also offer flexibility with scheduling to COHESION:
accommodate major projects or extra-curricular connection to
activities for school. Some employers even offer next paragraph
incentive programs designed to encourage
students to keep up their grades (Grady 2012).
However, studies suggest working increases stress VOICE: slang
in students (Li et al., 2015). This occurs because
students enjoy interacting with their friends after CITING:
school and it has been shown that this recreational reference for the
time can help ease stress (Byrne et al 2008). data used to
back up the point
Editing Techniques
Editing focuses on the
mechanical issues within the
text: sentence length,
spelling, punctuation, and
grammatical mistakes
 Tips
• Take a break: Put your essay aside for a day or two before
editing
• Read Out Loud: Reading in your head allows your brain to
auto-correct some errors.
• Use a Straightedge: Use a ruler or book & read the paper line
by line. This forces you to see each line and each sentence
on its own.
• Tech: Spell check and Grammarly.
• Friend: Ask somebody to read your piece of writing.
• Short periods: If possible, do your editing and proofreading in
several short blocks of time to help concentration.
• Shorter sentences: Avoid long, convoluted sentences. Break it
up for the reader!
Sentence Length Exercise
However it is clear in all three studies that the authors
had different findings in terms of the employment
factors which impacted on the survey respondents and
there was also contrasting evidence when respondents
explained their motivation for moving to part-time work
and many people still felt under financial pressure even
though they had a partner who also worked.
Editing Example

‘It is very impotent that everyone proofreads there

paper. When students proofreads there paper, they
must take the tome for through examination off what
they wrote. The must try too fin the hidden miss takes in
the paper. If they doo knot fin the mistakes, then there
paper will not red right. Everyone want to make a god
impression with there righting. There is no substitute
four careful editing off your on wok..
Editing Solution

‘It is very impotent that everyone proofreads there

paper. When students proofreads there paper, they
must take the tome for through examination off what
they wrote. The must try too fin the hidden miss takes in
the paper. If they doo knot fin the mistakes, then there
paper will not red right. Everyone want to make a god
impression with there righting. There is no substitute
four careful editing off your on wok..
Summary

Polishing your essay is a two-pronged process….

Revise Edit

…and it
requires
time!